#i was trying to sleep and couldn’t bc this post was bouncing around in my head

[wifegideonnav]

saw a post about the fandoms use of the word chussy and how violating and disrespectful it is and it really got me thinking. not going to name the op because I am absolutely not trying to argue with their take which is clearly fueled by very real anger and hurt, and I fully respect their opinion. so please understand that im not trying to start #discourse and anyone who does so on this post will be blocked (eta: please feel free to disagree with this post and let me know that you do/argue your point. by discourse I mean the annoying and pointless brand of internet arguing that we all know and hate). all that being said, here’s my take on the issue:

1. the post raised some excellent points about the desecration of the body and the implications of sexual assault that the nonconsensual alteration of gideons body carries. so first off: this is absolutely an important point and it’s something that needs to be taken into consideration. additionally, the oversexualization of butches is a huge problem and the use of the word chussy undoubtedly plays into this. all of these things must be acknowledged and respected.

2. my analysis of the joking nature the fandom has taken towards gideons chest wound is that this attitude is fueled by grief and discomfort/despair. muir tends to take her characters past their breaking points and explore how that impacts them, and that is a really hard thing to witness as a reader, especially when it’s a character as beloved as gideon, especially when the change from the first book to the third is so stark. imo, people simply don’t know how to handle these feelings, and funnel them into black humor. inappropriate? yeah, probably. but I think what’s crucial here is that this is a coping mechanism for very real feelings that are stirred up by these books. people aren’t being irreverent purely for the sake of it (though there’s definitely some of that too), they’re processing uncomfortable emotions stirred up by this - crucially - fictional character

3. arguably, this reaction was also brought on by muir herself. violence and sex are inextricably tied in this universe. harrow and ianthe have multiple sexually charged scenes that are explicitly violent - the scene where ianthe knifes harrows hand and obviously the bone arm scene. the dios apate scenes are laden with hatred, deception, and a desire to literally murder one of the participants. joli thinks nona and cam are being prostituted. palamedes’s love interest turns out to be murdered, and he tries to kill her killer in return. pyrrha has sex with a corpse. while the sexual aspect of it is never discussed, harrows conception is marked by genocide. even the excerpt of alecto that muir shared earlier this year combines a description of personal struggle and torment with explicit yonic imagery. this is all to say, the concept of gideons wound being partially sexual within the text is not far fetched at all. i would honestly be surprised if alecto doesn’t address this in some way, either in a joking way or a serious way (knowing muir, probably both). for all muir’s faux outrage over the term in the q&a earlier today (technically yesterday), she always knows exactly what she’s doing and dare I say more or less exactly how the fandom is going to react to things. im certain she anticipated that people would draw a connection between the wound and sexuality. now, muir intentionally planting this subtext does not negate any problematic aspects of said implication. but I think it’s important to note that it’s not purely a “fandom joking about serious topics” thing - it also falls on the writer

overall, I think it’s a very nuanced topic, as with pretty much everything pertaining to muirs work. bodily autonomy is a huge theme in tlt and there is a certain flavor of ignoring or defying muirs message in making a joke out of the bodily violation that gideon has suffered. however, again, i a) think the jokes stem from a place of understanding muirs intent and the discomfort that arises due to this and b) maintain that this is not a case of the fandom disrespecting a creators message but rather the fandom running with the context and tone of the source material. and finally, I want to emphasize that this is a fictional character, and while attitudes toward fiction 100% affect reality, I doubt that the people making these jokes would do so if they were aimed at a real person.

i fully invite conversation on this post and I would love to hear what you guys think, particularly butches (I am a lesbian who considers myself gnc but not masc/butch and i would never presume to speak for/over butches, especially on a topic so important). i don’t mean to be a killjoy, but after reading that post and reflecting I do think it’s important to explore the ramifications of these jokes before continuing to make them.

[kierancaz]

Soo I saw that you were looking for some writing inspiration/requests and I was wondering if you would be interested in writing a Thorin x Reader fic where Reader is part of the company and both of them really admire each other but are too afraid to admit it at first and before they confess their feelings there's some sort of miscommunication?

This just came to my mind and I hope it could inspire you a little :)

hey !! thanks so much for requesting something !! I tired my best but I have not written for Thorin before so sorry if he's a little ooc haha. Also sorry this took so damn long I kept starting and stopping and also screwed up my sleep schedule and then 3 days in a row kept getting stomach aches and just couldn’t write more than three lines T_T. If it feels inconsistent or confusing I’m sorry I got lost in the sauce and COULDN’T FIGURE OUT WHAT I WAS DOING but I hope you enjoy anyway :)

warnings : none details : reader is human, marriage plot that isn’t super important besides like ^^ the request

pre-post edit: I just went back and read the request again and this might not actually be what you asked for so uh, I’m sorry, but I’m gonna post this anyway bc well it’s written but if you don’t like it lmk and I will try again :)

𝐀𝐝𝐨𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐌𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐮𝐧𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧

It was safe to stay that Thorin was not the happiest camper when you joined the company, but he couldn't deny that you intrigued him a bit. Only a little though, you must understand.

You had joined the company a fair bit later, when they were stopped by the tolls. You had arrived just before Gandalf and saw the group tied up. You were going to ignore them and just carry on your way, after all it wasn't any of your business. But watching the little hobbit try and stall for time while none of the dwarves caught on was amusing enough for you to lend your aid. You had a talent for sneaking around, you made no noise when you walked, had no scent you left behind, and with little effort could blend into any environment.

You crept up onto the rock behind where the group of dwarves was tied and dug around in your bag until you pulled out a mirror. The sun was coming up and just peaking over the rock that the trolls had been staying behind. Laying down flat you brought the mirror in front of yourself and moved it until it caught the sunlight and began to reflect it. You bounce it around for a moment, attempting to get a good angle. Finally, you hit the troll standing farthest away right in the face, there was a small noise it made but it was cut off by it's mouth turning to stone. Quickly its head and shoulders and chest also turned to stone.

"Huh, you say something?" The one troll that had been talking to the hobbit said as he turned around along with the other one that was standing over by the fire. They both gasped and the one that had been talking to the hobbit rounded on the little guy again, "what did you little ferret do?!"

"Ferret?" The hobbit stuttered for a moment, doing his best to hop away but fell on his butt. "N-Nothing, I- we didn't do anything."

"Why you little-" The troll made to grab the hobbit but you quickly adjusted your mirror and light been to hit the troll on the side of the head. It started to turn to stone and in an attempt to stop it the troll reached up to block the light but only managed to turn his hand to stone. The other troll shrieked in terror.

"The dawn will take you all!" Cried someone from atop the bolder with a booming voice. A second later he slammed his staff down and the bolder cracked in two, letting the sunlight pour through. All the trolls turned quickly to stone and the dwarves set quickly to setting themselves free. You slid back down the bolder and pocketed your mirror. For some reason, you didn't immediately leave.

"I think we owe someone our thanks." Said a older white haired dwarf as he walked up to you. Gandalf followed him.

"Y/n, fancy running into you here, though I can't say I'm upset." The old wizard smiled at you. You smiled back at him.

"Good to see you too, Gandalf." You turned and offered a bow to the old dwarf and "the name's Y/n, at your service."

The old dwarf smiled, he seemed very pleased with your politeness, and bowed back, "Balin, at yours."

"Is this the company you mentioned Gandalf?" You asked turning back to your old friend.

"What do you know of this company?" Came a rumbling deep voice from your left. You hadn't realized that someone else had joined you. His arms were crossed and judging by the slight crease in his brows he was not very happy.

"Ah- well," you cleared your throat and looked to Gandalf for help but he offered none. "You must be Thorin," you bowed the same as you did for Balin. "I know of your journey, Gandalf told me." Yes, blame the old wizard, that's fine.

Thorin turned to Gandalf with a glare, silently demanding an explanation from him. Gandalf cleared his throat and shifted his weight on his feet slightly, "I first asked Y/n to be our burglar, however she refused me."

"I had family business to attend to at the time." You said and Thorin turned his glare onto you, you stiffened slightly and suddenly wished you didn't say anything at all.

"What are you doing here now?" Thorin asked.

"Well... I was looking for you guys. I figured if I followed your road I'd come across you eventually."

"Why?" Thorin was not looking very pleased. You felt small under his stare and began to fiddle with your hands.

"I was hoping that, well, you may have room for another walker in your company?" Your expression changed into something unsure as you shrugged your shoulders. All Thorin did was stare and you glanced at Gandalf for help.

"She can be of use Thorin, she's very quiet this one, great for sneaking around." Gandalf nodded his staff towards you.

"She also did just save our skins." Added Balin and you were very grateful he had not walked off.

Thorin thought for a moment, but it felt like en eternity. He eyed you up and down before turning away and beginning to walk off. "Fine. But don't slow us down. If you do you'll get left behind."

You've been traveling with the company since then. So far you've made very good friends with everyone but particularly Fili, Kili, Balin and Bilbo. Over time you've also begun to greatly admire the leader of this company, Thorin.

You couldn't deny that you thought he was attractive, you had thought that from the moment you met him. But it was more than just looks you liked about him, you admired how much he cared for his people, his sense of duty to bring them back to their home in Erebor. He carries such a huge burden all on his own and is able to do it with grace and dignity, you understood a little of what that meant, though on a much smaller scale. He was brave and even though he was a king he was always first to throw himself into a fight to protect those around him. And even though he seemed cold on the surface it's very obvious that he cares for all his companions and would do whatever it took to make sure they were safe.

"Watcha lookin' at?" You jumped, Kili had his face right next to yours leaning over your shoulder. He laughed and sat on the rock next to you with his back facing the fire, you smack his arm.

"How long were you there?" You grumbled.

"Oh I don't know, long enough to notice you staring dreamily off at my uncle." He clasped his hands together out in front of him and bat his eyelashes at you in a teasing manner before bursting out laughing like someone told the most hysterical joke known to man.

"I was not! I was just thinking and I zoned out..."

"Sure, sure, whatever you say." Kili said once he stopped laughing. "You know you're so obvious right? Everyone sees it."

"Sees what?" You asked with a raised eyebrow and Kili rolled his eyes.

"That you're in love with him!" Kili hit you on the shoulder. "I think it's a good thing personally, Thorin needs someone like you. Someone fun who can lighten his mood, he's always so stoic these days, believe it or not he used to be fun."

"I'm not in love with him." You said and put your chin in your hands, your mood had soured and Kili didn't understand why. "I'm due to be married."

Oh. Oh. Thorin stopped listening.

He had realized you're staring a while ago. He thought, or maybe hoped, that you where staring at him, but it seems you really where just zoned out and didn't realize you where looking in his direction. He started paying attention more when Kili wandered over and tuned in when the two of you started talking. But now he didn't want to listen, you were probably going to go on talking about whoever it is that you're going to be married to and he didn't want to hear it.

"You ok there laddie?" Balin asked appear at his side.

"Yes, why wouldn't I be?" And it came out a little more snappy than he would've liked.

"No particular reason, just looked like you were staring off into space. But by your tone it sounds like something is on your mind?" Thorin thought for a moment before deciding he shook his head.

"I'm going for a walk." Was what he settled on and he got up and left.

"You what?!" Kili said in shock. "What do you mean?"

"I mean exactly what I said. Once I go back home I am to be wed."

"You don't sound very happy about it..."

"I'm not." You said. "I don't want to marry him."

"Then why are you?" Kili sounded almost mad. You furrowed your eyebrows at him.

"Because I have to Kili. I'm the oldest in my family and with our dad dead I have to be the one to bring in money somehow. There aren't many jobs for women where I am and this guy has enough money to keep my family off the streets and well fed. The reason I decided to seek out this company and join the adventure is because this is the last one I'll be able to go on..." Kili was silent.

Suddenly he shot up on his feet and rounded the rock to stand in front of you. "Thorin is a king. We are going to reclaim our home that is filled with mountains of gold. Tell Thorin you love him and then you can be happy and save your family! It's as simple as that!"

"Thorin is a king. It's not as simple as that."

Kili was making that face he does when he's confused and upset. Eyebrows creased together, pouting, and over all looking like a sad puppy dog. "Get up," he said and tugged roughly on your arm to pull you to your feet.

"What are you doing?!" You half shouted at him as you tried to pry yourself free. "Let me go you lunatic!"

"I'm looking for my uncle." He said and you froze for a second before beginning to fight him again. "He deserves to be happy and so do you, all it takes is for you to admit your feelings to him."

"How do you know that's all it takes?" You snapped and stopped struggling for a moment. "How do you know he thinks of me in the same way I think of him?"

You were every serious, Kili however was not and was looking at you like you had just said the stupidest thing he had ever heard. He sighed exasperatedly, your face crumpled in confusion. "Where is he? Do you see, Thorin?"

You took a look around the fire, "um, no, I don't."

Thorin was walking through the woods, he could still see the campfire and hear the voices of everyone so he wasn't far if anything went wrong, but he was far enough that he couldn't properly see any of the individual figures. You had a fiancé? You were going to be married. Thorin didn't know how to describe how he was feeling in this moment. Upset? Mad? Disappointed? Perhaps blindsided was the word, but how could just being blindsided by this information be enough to make him feel this bad. Why did he even care so much?

Well actually he knew why he cared so much. It probably had something to do with that intense warmth that spread throughout him whenever he looked at you. That tightening in his chest whenever you smiled, even if it wasn't at him.

He had noticed a while back the way he was beginning to think of you, but he shoved it down. Hid it away in fear that it would start to interfere with this quest. He needed to make a conscious effort to treat you the same as everyone else. But he still always caught himself wondering if you were tired and needed to rest, if you were warm at night, if you had enough to eat or drink. After a battle or after running away from orcs he always made it a point to check on you personally and he couldn't relax until he did so.

When you first met he thought you were attractive. Just a passing acknowledgement that, for a human, you were nice to look at. But over time, after seeing the way you would blend with the others in conversation, how even though you were the best fighter you still valued the others safety and were willing to put yourself at risk, how much Fili and Kili liked you. You were so kind and unassuming and you always offered to help.

One thing that stood out to Thorin, and that he especially admired about you, was that you stood up to him. It might sound weird, but he liked that you questioned him, and when you thought he was wrong you pointed it out. It didn't happen often, but when you did say he was wrong about something you were usually right. You argued with him when no one else did and somehow he thought that was very attractive of you.

He let out a long sigh and rubbed his temples, all of this thinking was useless. And also making him feel worse, like the hole in his chest was growing. The laughing from around the fire tuned him fully back into his surroundings and with one last look around (so he could at least say he was checking the parameter) he started to head back to camp. As he exited the trees and came back into the little clearing he heard the sound of his nephew.

"Aha! There he is!" Looking to his left Thorin saw Kili and he was pulling you with him. Well, not so much pulling as he was dragging, you were tripping over your own feet with every step and looked about ready to fall.

Kili then yanked you forward, practically throwing you into Thorin with a grin on his face that Thorin just knew meant that Kili knew something he didn't. Thorin reached out and caught you before you could face plant. "Kili, what's going on?" You scoffed as you stood up straighter and brushed yourself off, you had a very sour look on your face that just made Thorin more confused and slightly concerned.

"Y/n has something to talk to you about." He said and winked before running off to go whisper about something with his brother. There was a long stretch of silence and it was very quickly becoming awkward.

Thorin cleared his throat, "there's something you wanted to talk to me about?"

You jumped slightly, Thorin was standing there, hands clasped behind his back and face as un-telling as ever. You chuckled, "oh, uh, it's nothing really. Not that important or anything, you know Kili this is just one of his- uh- things..."

Thorin just grunted in response and turned away. You probably could've used this opportunity to run away but for some reason you didn't. There was another long silence, the two of you just standing next to each other and looking at the rest of the company sitting around the fire. At some point you saw Gandalf look over at you two and when he looked away you could've sworn there was a knowing smile on his face.

"I hear you're getting married once you return home after the journey." Thorin said suddenly.

"What?" You said whirling to face him, "how do you know about that?"

"I over heard you and Kili talking about it." He answered simply and without looking at you. You creased your brows before turning back to look at the company and the fire. Thorin glanced at you, "whoever he is, he's a lucky man."

"And I an unlucky woman." You said with a huff. "I don't want to marry him."

"Oh? Why not?" Thorin asked and turned to you.

"Why? Well for one he is the most arrogant self righteous man I have ever met. He thinks he's the gods gift to man and that everyone he interacts with owes him something. The only reason I even agreed to this arrangement with him is because if I don't my family will lose everything. I much rather marry-- someone else."

After your rant Thorin was feeling significantly lighter. He caught your stutter at the end and the side of his mouth corked up. "Y/n, what was it Kili wanted you to tell me?"

You turned to look at him, eyes wide, but were comforted by the smile on his face. "Well," you said looking up and away to avoid eye contact and clasping your hands in front of you. "Kili wants me to tell you that I'm in love with you. And I am, in love with you I mean."

Thorin chuckled and you peaked back at him, he had a soft smile on his face. "Maybe you're not as unlucky as you thought armâlimê.”

You opened your mouth like you were going to say something, but then what he said seemed to register. You paused and then looked over at him, “what did you just call me?”

He smiled at you softly and took your hand and looked down at it as he spoke, “we can figure out what to do about your family’s situation after the quest, I trust it won’t be to hard to find a solution then.”

Silently your hand tightened around his, touched by what he had said. “And just for the record,” he added looking up into your eyes, “I love you too.”

From a little ways away, over by the fire, you could hear whispered cheers and groans, and the clink of coins being exchanged. You looked over and Kili grinned back, shooting you a thumbs up and you couldn’t help but laugh feelings as light as air and happier than you ever have before.

[weasel-b33]

window. (james potter x fem!reader)

summary: just some domestic morning bliss with your husband and hazzie

a/n: this was written on my phone at 8:46 am on a whim. don’t ask why…..

warning: hottie!dilf!james. spelling errors bc i’m too tired to check it…and gooey stinky love fluff. screaming child (ew) non-sexual nudity (like barely), feeding baby harry but like barely described.

(if you saw my last post…this is no surprise)

—

the loud screams and obnoxious wails of the newborn is what awoke james. not the sound of his you whispering his name into his ear, while you idly scratch at the messy mane sat atop his head. or the chirping of the birds that he could hear because he accidentally left the window open in your bedroom once again.

nope. screaming. blood curdling screams, only viable to be produced by someone being chased by a deranged killer.

peering his eyes open, however, james wasn’t met with the sight of a psycho killer trying to hurt his son. on the contrary. he was met with the bright pastel yellow of the nursery walls, and a blurry view of 4 month old harry james potter.

rising up rapidly, not without a quick crack of his entire spine, because james decided it would be good to sleep on the hardwood floor of the nursery. grasping his son in his arms and back and forth he quickly silenced the uncontrollable toddler. silence.

“you want your mama, bubba?” james knew the answer already considering it was 7:23 am, prime time for harry’s first of many feeding for the day. harry replied in some baby blabbers and james set off on his hunt through the home to find you.

today started off good. awoken by the warming rays of the fall sun and the light burst of breeze rolling through the open window, seriously james needs to stop leaving those open. a quick stretch and scratch of you head, and you knew you were ready to face the day. yet, when you rolled over to snuggle back into james’ warmth, you discover your husband was nowhere to be found.

you were none the wiser, to your distressed baby in the other room ,(thankfully) to the silencing charm you and james placed over your bedroom the night prior. however, your husband being himself couldn’t help but check on your son during the night only to find him awake, bouncing around his crib as if preparing to run a marathon. and because he couldn’t wake you, seeing as how gorgeous you were laid only in his shirt, hair a mess and sound asleep in your shared room, james decided to play with your son, until harry, and apparently himself, fell sound asleep.

as if he could read your mind, right as you were about to get up and search for your husband and child, james saunters in the room, glasses crooked on his faces surely due to the musings of your son, both of whom were sporting their infamous—and practically unmanageable—potter curls.

“baby, look it’s mama.” james points a finger at you wiggling it in harry’s face, until the boy lets out some giggles. handing him over to you, james sits down beside you against the headboard.

“hey, haz..how’d you sleep pretty boy?” and even though your son definitely could not understand what was being said you two didn’t mind. responding with more of the indecipherable words, harry gets distracted by pulling on your messy bed-head.

“you should have heard him. screaming like he just won the lottery. pretty sure he’s hungry.” you quickly take off your—james’—shirt and the boy eagerly begins feeding.

petting your sons wild tresses, you turn your attention to your husband who is staring with heart eyes at you and your baby. “where were you, j? i woke up and you weren’t here.” wiping a fake tear and putting on an exaggerated pout, james let’s out a sleepy laugh

james sheepishly rubs the back of his neck and plasters on a dazzling smile,“i went to check on haz last night, and i must have fallen asleep in there” as you go to respond, he quickly silences you with a kiss. and as cliché as it sounds, his warm lips against yours are enough to blur out all that is around you. but the kiss ends quickly, much to quickly for his liking, as he decides to chase after your lips with his own.

“go close that window and i’ll give you another kiss”

and as james jumps up and slams the window closed while you lay in the bed rocking your son back to sleep, he can’t help but think how lucky he is to met a woman such as yourself, who can put up with his quirks—especially the one with a window.

fin

[sluts4shigaraki]

BACK TO SCHOOL!

CW ♡ NSFW, oral (f!receiving), unprotected sex, bullying kinda (but not from tomura he loves u uwu), lotta crying but i made up for it

Pairing ♡ tomura shigaraki/f!reader

Word count ♡ 3,400

minors/ageless blogs DNI ♡ you will be blocked

A/N ♡ big chunky chapter this time! i hope it compensates for how long it took to post it. BTW it is a seven chapter series, so two more! i plan on posting more shiggy stuff and other reader pairings :3 also! tomura has BDS (big dick syndrome) u-u, his back hurts bc he carries that third leg around

Tags ♡ @klxoewy @cosmicbreathe @gloomysel @yoongiigolden @thehaplessfool

DAY FIVE

——————————————————————————

You’re in Tomura’s bed. Again, somehow. Most of last night was a blur to you. Tomura took you to some kind of arcade bar, then dot, dot, dot. Tomura was no where to be found and the dorm was empty. When you sat up you saw a single sheet of paper on Tomura’s computer desk.

hey.

i had class this morning, and i didn’t wanna wake you up. anyways just text me when you wanna meet up for tutoring today.

tomura.

Well, that explains it. A feeling of loneliness had quickly slipped into your head and tried making a home there before you shook it off. It was fun to feel this nervousness all over again but it was also scary. Falling in love could just be pain, and with Tomura there was no telling for sure. Even if he was kind to you. Things can always change.

When you got into your dorm, you took a long shower, hoping it would help you think. It did not. You texted Tomura, asking him to meet you in the park again. The text was a little snippier than you intended it. His reply matched your energy. You knew you did something terrible last night but you can’t remember what. Hopefully, today would help you figure out what.

You bit your nails down to the quick, nervousness in the pit of your stomach as you sat at the same table where this whole mess started. The same anxiety that made your leg bounce uncontrollably made you come here twenty minutes before you’d agreed to meet. As the time passed, it gave you time to overthink. Everything that could go wrong had ran through your mind. So, when Tomura finally approached, you gave a weak, worried smile.

“T-Tomura! Hey! Uh… about last night,” you looked away, refusing to meet his eyes. “I don’t remember what happened that well, so I’m sorry if… anything… y’know,” biting the inside of your cheek, a single tear dropped down your cheek before you quickly wiped at it.

“No! You just got a little too wasted. That’s kind of my fault… All I cared about was making sure you were safe,” that helped you, a little. However, that wasn’t what you were worried about.

“I wasn’t worried about you taking.. a-advantage of me. I was more worried about me being too much,” Tomura coughed, clearly knowing what you were referring to.

“You, uh, you did ask, um,” he took a pause, trying to find the right words. “You asked if I would sleep with you, but if you were to ever…” His face was red, lip between his teeth. “If you ever wanted to, I’d want you to be sober. And I’d want you to be sure you wanted it. So I just made sure you had something to eat and drink. I’ve seen Touya hungover and it’s not fun to deal with,” finally meeting your eyes, he smiled, face and ears still red hot.

It couldn’t be helped. The tears spilled freely now, every feeling you had closing in on you quickly. His face drops and he moved unbelievably quickly to your side.

“Please don’t, don’t cry…” Your head was pulled in against his chest, arms cradling your head. “It’s okay, I’m not upset, I wanted to do it,” the care he showed was just for you. Tomura ignored everyone else. The ones he called friends, he never treated them the way he treats you. Of course, he still cared for them, in his own, odd way. You, though, you were special. Tomura didn’t use you for your body. Tomura may have stared at you, but if you took a good look at him, you would’ve seen it was a wistful, dreamy stare. Tomura’s presence was intimidating, but he was really just a scared, lonely man with pain sitting deeper than you thought.

“N-no, it’s not,” you hiccuped, trying to talk through sobs. “It’s not that, I just, y-you’re so nice to me and I d-don’t know why and I think I’m… dammit, I’m falling for you, and I’m scared! I know it’s stupid,” his hands suddenly stopped their gently running through your hair. His body stopped, and began to shake. Before you could pull away, his grip tightened. A small sniff told you he was crying too.

“It’s not stupid. I’m scared too,” Tomura’s head touched yours, pale hair draped over your own. “I keep telling myself it’s not real. You can’t be real. You wouldn’t want someone like me. I’m just not meant to be the kind of person that can be happy. I never really had anyone to be close with,” he pulls you away from his chest, his hands cupping your face. Tomura brings a thumb up to wipe away your tears. “I trust you and that scares me.”

“I don’t… I don’t know how I feel, but I wanna be around you more than I wanna be alone,” everything inside you felt like it was on fire. This gut wrenching feeling was stronger than ever, and vomit made its way up your throat. As suddenly as you pulled away to empty the contents of your stomach, all the memories came up. So did everything else from last night. Embarrassment clenched your heart with a tight fist. Not only did you make an absolute ass of yourself yesterday, now you were vomiting in front of the very same guy you drunkenly begged for dick. That same guy was gently pulling any hair away from your face with one hand and rubbing your back with the other. Fear settled in your gut beneath the embarrassment.

“I’m sorry, I thought what I did would keep you from being hungover,” Tomura gave you his water bottle, and you swished and spat to get rid of the taste of bile. Well, mostly, but the tinge still sat in the back of your mouth. A reminder of the fear you felt.

“You did,” you cough, a sore throat making speaking to him more difficult than it already was. “It’s not that,” you felt your heart spill its guts. Everything in you was out. Stopping it now was impossible, the flood gates long broken. “I’m scared. I’m really fucking scared. I know it seems stupid. It probably is. I’m not scared of you but… It’s like I shouldn’t feel this way. My mind disagrees with my body so I’m paralyzed.”

“It’s not stupid,” that single and confident statement reassured you more than anything. Tomura was a steadier person with you. It made sense, he acted out because he needed attention. Craved for somebody, anybody to see him, instead of just looking. You carved a path out for him and let him make his home there before he knew it. You swallowed your pride and your tears, and spoke with a trembling lip.

“I just wanna be yours.”

Yanked into his arms, Tomura gripped your shirt with a strength to break the seams. His body gently shook, lips peppering kissing on your head. Your tears were soaking his hoodie, but you had never felt more peaceful. You found a home in him, in his arms and his heart. It was like you had met your soulmate, something about it just clicked. Two puzzle pieces found each other, and for whatever reason, realized they fit perfectly together.

“I wanna be yours too,” he pulled away, brushing your hair behind your ear. “I’ve always wanted to be yours.” Tomura smiled, then he grabbed your chin and kissed you. Really kissed you. Not the inexperienced kiss he gave you first, but a loving, passionate kiss. Your hands fisted up in his hoodie, pulling him closer. When you pulled away, your eyes snapped to the sudden, loud laughter.

“Aw, look! Freakazoid and the fat chick are in love,” some dickhead you didn’t know was making kissy faces at the both of you. At the time you weren’t even thinking of the possibility of being seen. You shrunk, your body making itself small. It had been a while since anyone made fun of you for your size. Most people on campus ignored you, but you had a group of friends and they never even brought it up. Tears slipped out of your eyes, your self image cracking. Tomura, however, was already letting go of you, his fists balled up as he sped towards him. “Oh, no, whatcha gonna do skinny ass? You ma-“ Tomura’s long strides meant it didn’t take long for him to close in, the sentence cut off when he punched him across the mouth. Dickhead, as you’ve now named him, immediately fell to the ground, blood coating his lips. “Fuckin’ freak! Jesus, I’m gonna get you for that shit!” Tomura towered over him, face expressionless.

“I wish you would,” he mutters, quickly making his way back to you and roughly grabbing your hand, leading you back to your dorm. As you struggled to keep up with his pace, your mind raced. Tomura just punched a guy because of a simple comment. It was hurtful, but he wouldn’t do anything else. It made you feel like the freak, because it was a huge turn on. He was skinny, sure, but he was stronger than he seemed.

“You didn’t have to do that! What if he says something, he could get you in trouble!” You tug on his arm, trying to get him to slow down or stop.

“He won’t. Even if he does, I’m not scared of shit. He got what he was asking for,” Tomura was seething, speaking through gritted teeth. He didn’t want to show you this side of him. Angry, violent, and willing to act on aggressive thoughts before realizing the consequences. Now it was out in the open, and he felt guilty. Silently, the two of you made your way to your dorm. Tomura was still breathing heavily, and you weren’t sure if you should talk to him while he was this upset. You quickly unlocked your door and he pulled you inside. The grip on your hand was firm, hard. It made you nervous that he was standing there, eyes dark and mouth pulled into a thin line. “I won’t let anyone say that shit to you,” even when he was angry, he was considering you first.

You rocked on your feet, staring at them. “I can’t believe you did that,” the moment you said that, he felt guiltier. He scared you, that wasn’t what he wanted to do. What he wanted was for you to feel safe, and instead of just taking you away from the situation, he let his anger take the lead. Again. You looked up at him and saw him open his mouth. Probably to apologize. Before he could you held a finger to his lip. “It was kinda hot.”

In a second you were pressed against the door, Tomura’s lips aggressively on yours. Your hands found his chest while he had one by your head, the other pulling your waist close. The kiss was sloppy, hungry. Teeth clacked against each other as his tongue forced its way into your mouth. Keeping your lips locked, moving around in a dance, he finally found the bed and went down with you as he pushed you onto it. Tomura was on his elbows, pulling away from you and latching onto your neck. Whimpers fell from your mouth as you stuttered out his name. He couldn’t help himself, he didn’t want to stop. Self control was out the window. He was running on pure instinct as he bit a spot into your skin, licking and kissing it before he moved around. He kissed his way up to your ear, voice shaky as he whispered. “Do you want it?” Your legs pulled together, your clit throbbing.

“Please, yes, need it,” you babbled, arms wrapped around his chest as your finger nails dug in. His dark chuckle and warm breath on your neck gave you goosebumps. If Tomura hadn’t kissed anyone, he definitely hasn’t fucked anyone, but it didn’t show. His confidence had grown so quickly, all for you. Tomura moved away, and for the first time you actually saw his bare arms as he pulled off his hoodie. They were definitely more toned than you thought. It was all lean muscle, but he didn’t even try. It was genetic. As his hands moved down, he grabbed your hips, fingers pressing into the fat there. This was what he’d been thinking about for so long, and he finally had you. Tomura gripped you firmly, like he thought weren’t real and he had to make sure you were.

“Tell me you want it. One more time,” his chest rose and fell quickly, hands playing with the waist band of your pants. Your lip trembled, voice struggling to escape your throat.

“Please, p-please, Tomura, want you, want you so much,” your hands grabbed at his clothes, desperate. Before you could open your mouth again, he was on you, kissing just as aggressively as he was before. His hands shake as he yanked off your pants, moving back to pull off his shirt. One hand made it’s way up your shirt, groping at your chest, the other hand running a finger along your pussy through your panties.

“Fuck, you’re wet,” he murmurs into your lips, pulling your shirt above your head. In any other circumstance, you might be concerned about how your body looks. With the way he was grabbing at you, though, you didn’t care. His hand grabbed your stomach, gently kneading the fat there. “So fuckin’ pretty,” you whimpered, not even noticing as he unhooked your bra and threw it across the room. His lips latched onto one of your nipples, lapping at it. Tomura pushed your panties to the side, long fingers teasing your fluttering pussy. He switched, sucking and lighting nipping before he pulled away. Your panties covered your lips again and he hummed, pressing the flat of his tongue against the wet spot there. To him, you were better than any porn he’d ever seen. The sound of your pants and soft moans drove him crazy.

“Please don’t t-tease me,” your hips pushed down against his mouth, making him smirk. He pushed your panties to the side, licking from the bottom up to your clit, flicking it lightly. It made you gasp, your hands flying to his hair and lightly tugging. That was what it took to have him diving into your pussy, licking and sucking like he wanted to eat you alive. Two fingers gently pushed into you, curling up. His tongue swirled around your clit as he slowly fingered you, listening carefully to what you liked. This was his first time, and the first thing he thought to do was eat you out, instead of shoving his dick inside you and leaving. In between his kisses and lapping at your clit, he murmured praises and compliments about how good you tasted, how pretty you sounded. Heat pooled in your gut as your grip on his hair tightened. Your hips bucked against his tongue.

“Fuck, cum on my face, baby,” his pace was steady, licking in a steady pattern on your clit.

“A-ah, please, please, gonna c-cum, Tomura,” the coil inside you snapped as you tugged his hair harder, whimpering and pulling him closer. When he pulled away, his mouth and chin dripped with your cum.

“I wanna cum inside, please, fuck,” his large hands had torn your panties off, too impatient to worry about pulling them off of you. You nod quickly, too horny to even think straight, much less worry about him getting you pregnant. All you wanted was to feel was him filling you up. You heard his belt come off. When you looked up, your eyes widened. Tomura was huge. At the very least bigger than anything you’ve ever seen before.

“That… That’s too big, it’s not g-gonna fit,” you stutter, hands gripping the sheets. It probably wouldn’t, not all the way and not on your first try. You wanted him to try anyways. Tomura leaned down as he whispered into your ear.

“If it doesn’t fit, I’ll make it,” immediately you felt the burning sensation of stretching as he put the tip inside, thankfully waiting till he moved more. Your hands flew up at to claw at his back. He held you up against his chest, one hand roughly grabbing your hip. Tomura whimpered in your ear, only partially inside you but the way you clenched around him was making him dizzy. He held you close as he panted, desperately trying to not cum till he was at least all the way in. Your legs shook, wrapping around his waist.

“Fuck me, fuck me, I don’t care if it hurts, need you,” as soon as you said that, Tomura stopped holding back. Before you knew it, he pushed your legs against your chest, starting to slowly pump into you. Only half of him fit, but he pushed deeper, pressing against your cervix. When he fit all the way in, you were gasping and cock drunk. When he saw your beautiful face contorted in pleasure, he stroked your face with the back of his hand.

“You’re so pretty,” he whispered, immediately setting a brutal pace. It was like the only thing he saw was you. When your eyes closed, your head thrown back, he grabbed your chin and forced you to face him. “Open your eyes, fuckin’ look at me,” when you opened your eyes, you saw Tomura was just as awestruck as you were. His face was bright red, his eyes heavy and his chest heaving. This was everything he wanted. Tomura teased you, slowing his pace.

“Tomura, please, please, more,” his cock throbbed inside you, every beg you let out for him made him groan.

“I wish you could see yourself. You can’t even think straight, can you? I knew I was right. This is what you want. You wanna be bent in half and bred,” at that moment he leans over you, your knees over his shoulders. “You’re being so good for me,” the pace he started was brutal, every thrust inside you was splitting you in half, and you didn’t care. Your hands were gripping his hair again, and all that did was motivate him. The tip of his dick was kissing your cervix. All you could see was stars. When he pulled back again, his thumb brushed against your clit. It was still sensitive, almost too sensitive. You gasp and buck your hips up, and the smile that creeps on his face is dark. “Give me one more,” he let spit dribble onto your clit, combining it with the slick dripping from you. He kept a steady rhythm, rubbing your clit at the same pace he was fucking you. All Tomura wanted was to milk you for everything you had, push you till you couldn’t go anymore, but this was more than enough for him. Your legs tightened as your pants sped up, yanking roughly on his hair.

“‘M-mura, please, too m-much,” the way your body was reacting told Tomura it was exactly what you needed. The next high washed over you, cries and moans pouring from your mouth. All of your senses shut down, and all you could think about was Tomura. When you clenched around his cock, pussy throbbing in the after glow, he gasped. His thrusts became erratic, his fingers digging in deeper the closer he got.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck,” he mumbles, his long hair covering his face as his head drops. “Gonna fill you up, breed that pretty pussy, fuck, g-gonna cum,” Tomura buried himself as far as he could, pumping you full and staying there, not wanting to move. When he pulled out of you, he shuddered. While you closed your eyes and fell back against the bed, Tomura cleaned you up. He kissed your temple, laying beside you and pulling you against his chest. “Was that…” he trails off, biting his lip between his teeth.

“I’ve never cum on any ones face before, if that tells you anything,” you laugh, burying your head into his chest. You could hear the loud, quick beating of his heart. Tomura’s hands idly play with your hair, moving along and touching any skin he could reach.

“You’re perfect, y’know that?”

[finelinegynandromorph]

harry, gender, and musical consonance: a soft analysis

so i couldn’t sleep last night and wrote this unhinged note on my phone about a feature of h’s music that’s taken up brain space of mine for the last 5 years:

i’m sure someone has already written in detail and far more eruditely about this, but for the sake of my sleep schedule i’m going to write this all out so it’s at least doing something instead of bouncing around in my brain!

for personal context, most of my knowledge here is coming from about a decade of experience working in choral settings. with that being said, i am definitely an *amateur* in my choral knowledge so professional choralists if you stumble upon this post please do feel free to jump in and correct me on anything! 

anyway, as an insufferable choir kid (with extreme stage fright but hey besides the point), i *love* singing along with music and i almost always slip into harmonies when doing so because years of choir practice have made it one of my favorite ways to enjoy musical media! 

as a quick overview if you’re not already familiar 

there are a few main categories of harmonies that you usually see in ballads (the main song genre you’ll currently hear on the radio, spotify, etc. i know, ballads also colloquially refer to slower pop songs but i’m using the broad historical definition of narrative poetic stanzas set to music):

dissonance: this refers to a piece of music that is sung with different notes to the melody. the pitches may be similar or different. they often have a jarring texture when heard together with the melody.

consonance: this refers to a piece of music that is sung identical to the notes of the melody, but with different pitches or pitches separated by one or more octaves. they are often described as “pleasing” to the ear.

for the purposes of this analysis, i’m defining harmony very broadly as collections of notes that differ in one or more musical characteristic (e.g. pitch, texture, etc.) that sound great together.

(there’s actually a ton of semantics about the exact definitions of these words, the specific difference between a harmony and an octave, the distinction between a unison and an octave, etc. so just want to flag that i’m aware of that but for ease i will be using the terms dissonant harmony and consonant harmony in this analysis (bc i think it makes the most intuitive sense for purposes of analyses). i also know there are more specific ways of referring to tonal range than “higher” and “lower” registers but this is intended to be a readable analysis of some patterns so i’ll be playing fast and loose with the terminology, hey might even misuse octave (i know i know!) musicians i love u pls don’t @ me lol just consider this my brain’s way of communicating these concepts)

if it’s helpful, here’s a 🌈shitty spatial breakdown🌈:

if we imagine a spatial musical plane where the height of the symbol denotes its pitch (how high or low the note is), and this is our melody:

^ ^ ^          ^^      

           ^             ^^^

                                       ^^

-----------------------> where this is the direction of the music

(ie. the melody starts high, drops low for a note, goes high again for two notes, drops back down for three notes, and finally drops its lowest for the last two notes)

an example of a dissonant harmony might look like this:

melody: ^

harmony: ~

                                          ~~

^ ^ ^    ~     ^^      ~~~

            ^      ~~     ^^^

~~~                                    ^^

-----------------------> where this is the direction of the music

whereas an example of a consonant harmony might look like this:

melody: ^

harmony: ~

~~~            ~~

^ ^ ^          ^^      

           ~             ~~~

           ^             ^^^

                                       ~~

                                       ^^

-----------------------> where this is the direction of the music

idk if this makes sense, but this is to say that dissonant harmonies take different concurrent spatial musical journeys through a scale while consonant harmonies take the same journey separated by a little space.

bc of the aforementioned choral background, when i’m listening to a song i really like, i’ll automatically slip into harmonies in a number of ways: exploring and trying to find something that works, mirroring backing tracks i can hear, and a combination of both. 

given all this, back in 2017 as i sung along to sign of the times and all of the ensuing beauty i was struck by harry’s widespread and frankly gorgeous use of consonant harmonies in his self-titled debut album. the same pattern expanded in a beautiful way in fine line and has continued to intrigue me ever since. 

this isn’t a unique feature, as i mentioned above consonant harmonies are just a really common musical tool, but together with harry’s effusive trans, fluid signaling (linking here to a great overview post by @bottomharrykingdom and here to one by @non-binharry of some key patterns if you’re not already familiar!), i think it’s worth paying closer attention to.

(this post won’t be cataloguing the things harry has said and done that make me and others think he might be trans, pls see those posts if you’re curious! rather i’ll be looking at his vocal/tonal symbology and what he might be communicating about his gender through his harmonies/arrangements given the larger context of his trans signaling)

phew! okay long intro for a long post. if you’re still keen, a *soft* analysis follows under the cut :) as a disclaimer, music is an art form and subjective analysis is a really wonderful way of engaging with art! it’s totally cool and valid if you don’t agree with this or if you experience harry’s music differently—that’s art! :)

i’ll be focusing on backing vocals only in harry’s voice for this analysis (and as such only released songs with studio tracks sorry to medicine and anna my loves), because of the gender theme. obviously he also has tons of choral backing by other voices in his songs and live performances with the different bands and i have a lot to say about that too (but that’s a whole other post, lmk if you’d want me to write it!).

to start off, let’s note that all 22 of harry’s solo songs (writing this jan 22, 2022 so y know who knows when hs3 is coming) contain some form of consonant harmonies that consist of the same melody sung by harry in different registers. the most common use of consonance in harry’s vocals is a melody in an alto/tenor pitch and a consonant harmony composed of the same melody sung in soprano/alto pitch.

okay, important disclaimer as we get into analyzing varying pitches:

lower pitches =/= “men” and higher pitches =/= “women”. the idea that pitches need to be gendered is archaic and partly constructed by the way that choirs were socialized to fulfill gender roles (ie. sopranos and altos were women, bass and tenors were men, sectionals were segregated by gender etc. etc.)

with that being said, these incorrect socialized notions tying gender to pitch are exactly that: widely socialized, and as such, when someone plays around with them, as harry often does when he switches into a higher register, it’s important to consider the fact that they are *likely aware of these socialized notions and might be playing with them*. am i saying that every vocalist who has ever sung higher or lower than their usual register is engaging in genderfuckery? no at least not knowingly. but once again, given harry’s gender signaling, i’m inclined to pay this closer attention. 

it’s important to set this analysis within the broader context of genderfuckery: the resistance/rebellion of queer people against restrictive binary notions of gender. yes, gendered stereotypes/attributes are all socialized and made up. and yes, genderfuckery engages directly with those made-up notions. for example, someone with unshaved body hair wearing a dress is an example of a form of resistance against gender paradigms. this individual is using the unspoken socialized assumptions that dresses = women and visible body hair = men not because they believe those assumptions, but because they are using their social gender context to communicate their nonconformity with those norms. 

i think that harry’s use of consonant harmonies in different registers achieves a similar form of genderfuckery! so if i refer to a higher register as denoting an aspect of femininity and vice versa, please remember i am not arguing there is anything inherently gendered about pitch of voice, just that they can be used as genderfucking tools to communicate facets of gender performance (literally, harry is singing this)!

alright, ready for some examples? buckle up, let’s look at a few songs in greater detail (i chose these bc i think they’re extra ✨gender✨ and bc they’re a delight to harmonize with, but that could really be said of every h song!). i could do all 22 but this post is going to be long enough as it is so i won’t, but do lmk if there are any songs you’d like more discussion on that i haven’t got to here! 

meet me in the hallway

a beauty to harmonize with! we start off with some very faint backing vocals that feature a soft lower consonance that adds some rawness to this heartbreaking song. 

in general, there’s a very echo-ey texture to mmith, which is a common feature to songs from hs1. harry used a ton of vocal doubling throughout his first album, though layered tracks or just recording the same notes multiple times with different textures/qualities to them. he also uses a ton of arena-style echoing in the production of this album. all this combines to create the sense that there are multiple harry’s singing, perhaps multiple selves/aspects to harry singing in unison, suggesting that there is a depth and complexity to his identity that he is trying to convey to us (um, sounding gender to you yet?) through his lyrics, vocalizations, and yes, harmonies (along w all the other musical aspects of his songs lol).

in the chorus we get the melody partnered with two harmonies:

- dissonance at a similar pitch to the melody (that is, a similar musical space but taking a slightly different journey)

- consonance at a higher pitch, a raw emotional yell!

we can really hear the rawness of this emotional turmoil expressed through harmony in the phrases “at the door”, “on the floor”, and the repetition of “gotta get better” (*sips tea in “we’ll be alright”*). this is the first track of hs1 and a beautiful introduction to a tool harry uses throughout both of his albums: packing emotional weight with his higher register. 

sign of the times

we have some echoing here again, once more suggesting that there are many sides to harry, here perhaps that he is singing to himself in some capacity (*ahem* mother to a child...?)

we never learn, we been here before / why are we always stuck and running from / the bullets / the bullets

ah, the iconic pre-chorus in falsetto! quick note about falsetto: historically this was defined as men singing in a range higher than their usual register (it’s now more commonly acknowledged that anyone can sing in falsetto, and that it simply tends to be characterized by a usually breathy deliverance of a pitch significantly higher than the most comfortable register for a given singer). this gender context is important because the falsetto can read sort of as a form of historical vocal drag, through which male singers performed femininity. we’ll return to this!

sott has less overt consonant harmonies than some of harry’s other songs, but i’m including it in this analysis because i believe the way he plays with pitch is extremely relevant and ✨gender✨

i’m considering the falsetto pre-chorus as a temporally offset form of consonance to the register harry sings most of sott in. that is, the pre-chorus could easily be sung at the same pitch of the melody of the verse and chorus but harry chooses to upsweep into this falsetto (in the way that “we don’t talk enough” in the bridge matches the pitch of the rest of the song, for example). i think we get some clues as to why he might make this choice when we take a look at the emotionally weighty conclusion to sott.

when harry sings/yells “we got to get away” it’s in a higher register in two different forms:

- the breathy falsetto from the pre-chorus

- a clear chest voice (this gives the “yelling” quality to those final lines he belts)

remember that vocal drag? i think by marrying it with his “usual voice” we have harry tying together the gender implications in these two registers: harry can do the vocal drag, he can be a “man” singing like a “woman” and employ the falsetto, but he can also sing at this same high pitch in his chest voice that he usually sings with. this is harry singing in a register that has been historically staked out mostly for women singers, and it’s not necessarily easy, there’s an element of straining that just slips through the studio version (that results in some absolutely gorgeous vocal cracks in some of his live renditions), he’s yelling “we got to get away” from those bullets he sang about in his falsetto, but he’s doing it, he’s using all these different parts of himself, and the song ends on that triumphant note (cue sott music video with h literally soaring through a pink sunset above a blue ocean while clad in blue and white, fine line colors bby)

only angel

focusing first on the bridge here: wanna die / wanna die / wanna die tonight

he sings this bridge in three different voices:

1. normal harry alto (i call it an alto bc i’m usually an alto and it’s my “comfortable” voice, pls don’t @ me lol)

2. soprano for a higher consonant harmony

3. a second, even higher soprano consonant harmony by the end of the bridge!

this second soprano mingles with a guitar playing at a similar pitch. this is all to say, harry is well aware of how to use his vocal range as a musical tool.

i’m going to be pleading the case for temporally offset consonance here again and look at the fact that the last time he sings the chorus he does so an octave higher than usual.

this is super common in popular music! but i think it’s important to note in this song specifically because the backing vocals in this track (the “woohoo!”s, screams, etc.) are all in this higher pitch and he finally matches that pitch in this final chorus (sorta like harry conveys emotional weight in the resolution of his songs in his higher register...)

also there’s just something about h yelling “she’s an angel / my only angel” in that higher register that just does it for me, you know??

ever since new york

my actual beloved. we’re gonna focus on the gorgeous chorus:

oh tell me something i don’t already know

for most of the song we get this incredible line delivered in four main voices:

1. melody in usual register (harry alto)

2. consonant harmony an octave higher than melody

3. consonant harmony two octaves higher than melody (it’s faint, but sounds like a soft head voice to me rather than his falsetto)

4. consonant harmony an octave lower than melody

(holy fuck my nb heart <3)

paired with these lyrics, harry employing all four of these vocal tones builds this sense of fluidity and smooth encompassing of the historically “feminine” and “masculine” in choral arrangement. so gender. wow!

in the last round of the chorus (sensing a pattern...?), we can actually hear harry belting in the backing tracks at voice 3, that is, two octaves higher than the melody. there’s this marked shift from the soft texture he’s been using to a full-bodied yell. he does this in the behind the album live performance of esny linked here @ 4:00 onwards.

there’s a desperation, a raw emotional energy that’s heartbreaking when he yells in this higher pitch (also the fact that he yells this in the live performance but it’s fainter and in the background in the produced studio version? sort of like his desperation and turmoil has to be muted when produced for mass consumption? chills)

woman

okay so right from the start we have harry’s “la-la-la-la-la”s which come at us in consonant harmony: the usual harry alto register and a voice that’s one octave higher. so we immediately get this sense of a duality in the atmosphere of this song. i’m going to link here to a wonderful lyric analysis for this song by @ialwaysknewyouwerepunk (and while you’re there, go read all of ella’s close readings because they’re brilliant), which involves both some gender thoughts and interpretation of woman being about stunts and jealousy (which i think is super super convincing!! we’re just focusing on vocal symbology in this post). 

alright, then we get to the chorus which is just WOMAN repeated in multiple layered consonant harmonies (harry delivers this word in caps lock, change my mind). it’s forceful, it’s questioning (“wo-WOMAN” almost a stumbling over words, almost a question, but spat out so forcefully), it’s fluid, it’s harry yelling WOMAN!

we get a consonant harmony in the verses for the first time with the line “i’m empty i know”, which is delivered in the usual harry alto and a higher register in harry’s head voice.

(empty? without the multitudes contained in the many voices singing WOMAN? interesting...)

we continue onto 

this thing upon me / howls like a beast / you flower you feast

and here we get dissonance and consonance in the harmonies, seeming to vocally convey a harry who is struggling to reconcile all these parts of himself (herself?)

there is a rejoinder to this confusion and struggle in the final chorus (hmmm) when harry comes back in with the forceful WOMAN in multiple consonant harmonies. here we also have harry’s nonverbal backing vocals overlaid on the chorus for the first time, which contain both higher and lower registers, switching around, sort of growing towards ~a potential reconciliation~ of these different sides of harry, but the way he spits WOMAN at the end still contains heavy turmoil and angst.

woo! okay, go get some tea if you need it! we’re moving onto fine line baby. 

we have more reconciliation when we get to fine line. i could write pages about the gender implications in every single song on this album (it was hugely important in me realizing i was genderfluid!!), *but* since this post is already so fucking long i’ll be focusing on two standout gender songs: she and fine line.

she

so much to say about harry’s vocal delivery and note changes in live performances of she, but we’re just focusing on the studio version for today!

okay so we’ve got a soft lower register in the verses to start with. employing a tone that has been socially coded as “masculine” as harry describes this man going about his day (he clarifies to us that this is a “man”!)

then we’ve got the iconic chorus:

she (she!) / she lives in daydreams with me (she!) / she’s the first one that i see / and i don’t know why / i don’t know who she is (she, she!)

similarly to his delivery of WOMAN, harry’s vocalization of the pronoun SHE is a forceful, straight from the heart bold caps lock moment. in the chorus we have a beautiful pairing of harry’s falsetto with an even higher falsetto that parallels (echoes?) it. so we now have consonant harmonies both occurring in falsetto!! let’s think back to the “vocal drag” in sott again. got it? now we have gender exploration and fluidity even within the “feminine”, so it’s not as clear-cut as harry is both masculine and feminine and reflects that duality in his vocal tone — there is depth and complexity contained even within harry’s her. (she!)

when we get to verse 2 we’ve got echoing vocals in both lower and higher registers but much softer than the raw force of the falsetto chorus, and by verse 3 we’ve got soft layered consonant harmonies gently invoking the power of the falsetto. 

i love harry’s use of falsetto in she for so many reasons, but one i want to quickly emphasize here is the sheer force of it. given falsetto’s historical gendered coding, the fact that harry is employing it both softly and forcefully in his music speaks to me of a rich and complex relationship with gender in that he is both aware of these socially coded elements of “masculine” and “feminine” tonal expression, and is not only actively using both forms of expression to mess with binaries but also fucking with their social codes and questioning why we can’t use traditionally “feminine” voices to yell angst, as in she. it’s so much more complex than harry simply singing in a high voice and therefore being genderfluid. this is gender theory, vocal symbology, and truly exemplary g e n d e r f u c k e r y my friends!

fine line

my love. tattooed on my soul at all times. once again, lots to say on harry’s live renditions but we’re focusing on the studio version!

so we start off with verse 1 all in a higher register. we’ve got some vocal doubling here, with layered identical notes in two distinct voices:

1. a soft, breathy falsetto

2. a clear head voice

here the tonal exploration of his multitonal, multifaceted socially coded femininity that he established in she AND the echoing production quality/vocal doubling effects reminiscent of hs1 are all brought together. this is harry, singing with all his/her/their fluidity.

okay and now...for the moment we’ve all been waiting for:

we’ll be a fine line

as h introduces the line (ha) that will be repeated like an anthem, a gender hymn, a confessional, a promise, a mother comfort, he adds in another falsetto to the layered harmonies, one octave higher than the base pitch. she is here to stay.

we keep this blend of head voice, falsetto, and higher falsetto, building on that layered femininity and gender exploration as we move into verse 2.

test of my patience / there’s things that we’ll never know 

(seriously, go check out the fine line close reading by @ialwaysknewyouwerepunk​)

building up to the emotional concluding line of verse 2

spreading you open / is the only way of knowing you (alternately only way to know you)

where we get some chest voice in the backing vocals, packing an emotional punch. “spreading you open”, revealing what’s inside, just as harry builds tonal momentum as we move through this song, layering on the many aspects of their identity.

this is followed by a sweeping build-up to harry all-out yelling

we’ll be a fine line / we’ll be alright

in a gorgeous multitonal consonant harmony which includes the recently added chest voice. the s(he) that sailed away without telling his mates is coming into the shore now with full force and we’re coming with her, this is harry in all her complexity, deconstructed and reconstructed tonally all around us, ending on that sustained multi-layered consonant harmonic high note. SHE is here. within him. 

as a brief personal aside that feels relevant to this discussion, when i sing along to fine line i tend to harmonize in lower registers than harry uses in this song and it’s honestly a pseudo-spiritual experience of gender affirmation to be dropping into the tenor i always wished i could sing in back in my early choir days while harry’s voice soars above me, melting into a beautiful symphonic whole.

okay okay okay phew got some water? feeling good? so are there any patterns we can draw from all this?

yes, i think so! (thank god is a woman).

1. harry consistently uses his higher register to emotionally underscore key moments in his songs, particularly the final choruses. he seems to preferentially convey emotional emphasis in tonal ranges sociohistorically coded as “for women” vocalists or perceived as “feminine” in their pitch

2. harry employs complex tonal fluidity in his songs as a form of fucking with the gendered social codes of the tones he’s using in (1). a key example of this is belting in his falsetto

in sum, i’m continually awed by the vocal symbology harry displays in his albums and i truly think this is a form of complex tonal genderfuckery on harry’s behalf! 

a final note, because i can envision someone asking “well, how do we know harry is aware of all this? how do we know he’s consciously making these choices to reflect his gender identity?”

short answer: we don’t! but i don’t think this should stop us from engaging with his music in this way for a few reasons:

- he’s a professional musician. he’s trained for years in the industry, and is aware of vocal theory — it’s his job. i think it’s important to give him credit for how intelligent and thoughtful he is about his art. to me it seems clear that he’d at the very least be aware of the social gender codes in the artistic choices he’s making

- the question of conscious choices in artistic symbology is an interesting one. i personally find (and i think this is a common feeling among many artists!) that sometimes i set out with clear intent to make a stylistic/metaphorical choice in a creative work, but more often than not i create something and then look back at it and go “oh”. and realize the depth to it that may have come out of subconscious creative processes while i was making it. and then expand on that as i revise it. i don’t think this is any less valid than setting out to create something with a specific symbolism from the get-go and often reflects deep internal musings

- can all of harry’s songs be about gender? didn’t he only “figure it out” during the making of fine line? as a genderfluid bb, i would argue “figuring out” you’re trans is often (though not always) more of a gradual realizing than a definite eureka! moment. connected to the above point, it’s totally possible (and i think very likely and backed up by years of harry playing around with gender) that harry was messing around with gender through his harmonies and vocal tones for years before fine line whether or not he was explicitly acknowledging it as a “gender thing” at that point!

- finally, if harry truly is unaware of the gender symbology in his vocal layerings and this is just me finding affirmation where it didn’t intentionally exist (i find this unlikely but of course it is possible): then that’s okay. it’s okay! it still means that i, a trans person, have found safety and comfort and love in harry’s music and that’s beautiful and amazing and something i’m sure he would support regardless of his intent. 

going to stop here but there’s always so much more that could be said. if you’ve read all this way thank you so very much!! <3<3<3<3 i love harry and (s)he has given me so much gender love and support over the years!

if you liked this there’s lots more soft analyses i’d love to do (including but not limited to: aforementioned choral backing vocals, fish!, nonverbal backing vocalizations like screaming!) so lmk if you’d wanna see that! :)

specifically, a logical follow-on to this post would be an exploration of harry’s live note changes and how they play into this notion of gender and musical consonance. much gender love and fine-line-ing to you all <3<3<3

[chiruba]

JJK BOYS' BEING SCARED TO CONFESS !

an. thank u for 100 + followers!! <3 holy fuck inumaki’s was hard to write bc of the letter LOL also heres to hopin my tags actu work for this post

ft. gojo, inumaki x gn!reader

wc. 1.2k

genre. fluff, angst if u squint in gojo's

► MASTERLIST ► TAGLIST ►

GOJO SATORU ►

— OK so usually i wouldn't imagine him as being scared to confess

— but,

— if he really likes you, i think his hidden insecurities will start comin out

— yes, gojo is the strongest sorcerer

— but even the strongest sorcerer can't save everyone

— he knows you'll be targeted if you're openly with him

— so gojo represses his feelings as best as he can

— which for some reason involves him -

— flirting with you one day

— and then completely ignoring your existence the next

— eventually you just get tired of it

"satoru!" you yell, surprising yourself from the sheer volume of your voice. it's clear he knew you were coming, but you still see the way his shoulders tense when you call his name. gojo at least has the decency to stop, and you're unsure if it's because he doesn't want to risk making you angrier, or if this is one of the days' he'll actually talk to you. you huff in anger before gripping his wrist to spin him around, and you can tell he's avoiding your eyes despite the black blindfold around his eyes.

"well?" you ask, tone cold and straightforward. gojo decides to take a glance at you, and sees you standing there with crossed arms, looking at him like a disappointed parent. "are you going to stop giving me the cold shoulder and tell me what's going on? i'm not in the mood to play some childish game, gojo." the use of his family name coming from you makes his heart ache, and he panics at the thought of you being genuinely angry and upset at him rather than mildly annoyed.

"i'm not playing some game," he says, and you feel yourself straighten up at the seriousness in his voice. your eyebrows furrow together in concern as you try to think of your last few interactions with gojo. he hadn't been acting this way with anyone else but you (you know because you'd asked nanami, and nanami knew all), and if this wasn't some game he was playing, had you done something to make him upset? the thought makes you feel guilty, remembering how you'd scolded him like a child just moments earlier. was it the joke about his forehead? surely he'd know you hadn't meant it, no matter how true it was-

"i love you-"

"your forehead isn't that small-"

...what?

you blinked at him once, then twice, then thrice, and then a fourth just to make sure you really weren't dreaming right now. your best friend of years, with his cocky attitude, cute dumb jokes and flirty remarks that made your face heat and heart race was in love with you? gojo lifted his blindfold suddenly, cocking an eyebrow up at you.

"hey! what about my forehead?-"

"i like you, too." you breathed out, voice shaky with either excitement or nervousness, you couldn't choose. gojo stared at you with those ocean coloured eyes of his, and then broke out into a grin.

"hmm?" you braced yourself, already knowing gojo's incessable adorable teasing was coming, "i don't exactly think i said like, did i?"

INUMAKI TOGE ►

— i def see inumaki being more scared to confess

— 1. because he can't think of a proper way to tell you his feelings

— a text just doesn't feel personal enough or embed his true feelings

— which leaves inumaki in a dilemma

— obviously, panda is quick to catch onto inumaki's feelings

— when he learns about inumaki's dilemma, he just bursts out laughing

— panda offers him the very simple solution - write a damn letter

— inumaki was so caught up in his feelings he literally just did not Think of it.

— spends hours writing the letter and tearing up it several times while also rehearsing how and where he would give it to you

— until the moment actually came, and all inumaki could do was shove the letter into your hands, yell tuna mayo, and run away.

— … yeah

your early sunday mornings had started consisting of heading down to the field every tokyo jujutsu school student used as early as your first week as a first-year, causing you to quickly develop a routine - get changed into your gym clothes, head down to the field earlier on to relax before maki kicked your ass, and then rush back to the dorms for a shower. except this time, you were pleasantly surprised to see that halfway through your routine, you were met with the familiar cute face of a fellow student, cursed speech user inumaki toge.

"inumaki?" you say, giving him a smile before slowing down your own steps to allow him time to catch up, watching as he sped to you. "you're up early for once," you teased, knowing how grumpy he can get without his allocated sleeping time. once inumaki catches up to you, you continue walking on, fully expecting inumaki to just continue alongside you. only for him to catch you off guard completely, gently spinning you around to face him once more.

seeing inumaki up close, you quickly take notice of the flush of red on his cheeks, popping out from under his collar, along with the sudden dark eye circles. inumaki's breathing is muffled, but loud enough for you to hear he's panting, the rapid rising and falling of his chest confirming it. you furrow your eyebrows in concern, also noting the way inumaki had practically sprinted to you moments before for no reason, along with the absence of his usual cheery - "kelp!"- greeting.

"inumaki?" you say once more, your tone both obviously worried and confused, "are you feeling okay?-" you have to practically plant your feet into the ground to stop from stumbling back when inumaki shoves something into your hand suddenly, only realising its a slip of paper when you feel it crinkle in your palm after an experimental squeeze. you look back at inumaki for even just a hint of an explanation, and instead all you get is -

"tuna mayo!" he yells, and then takes off running. you're left in a daze as you watch inumaki's figure become more and more distant, and only when you can no longer see him do you remember the paper currently crinkled up in your hands. the first thing you notice are the little onigiris drawn on the top of the paper, an inumaki staple as you'd like to call it. this time, the onigiris have blush streaks on their 'cheeks' as they hold hands, a single heart bouncing off their heads.

to you,

toge here! obviously i know it's not february anymore, as you (probably? lolol dumbas) know, but panda i'm tired of letting my chances slip past me.

there are so many things i want to say to you every day, but now that i'm here i don't even know where to start, so i'm just going to say it properly. i like you like a shitton. i wish i could say this to you properly, if i had the confidence if i could, i would scream my love for you to the world. i may not be your first date, kiss or love, but i want to be your last, just as i hope you'll be mine.

there are thousands of other things i want to say to you, but i'll save it until i get your reply. please don't feel pressured to accept me, no matter what, you'll always have a special place in my heart, my first love.

from hopefully yours,

toge inumaki. 🍙

ill give u a kiss goodnight if u reblog <3 

©  2021 sinrinyoku — please do not repost, translate, modify or plagiarize my work! i will beat the shit out of u (maybe)

[pepprs]

ok wobbledog post #3 ft two of some of my favorite dogs ever!

this is minnie! i forget who her ancestors / “parents” are though im almost certain she’s related to bambi bc of the hearts and the eyes. i fed her a lot of jello so she turned green and she came out SAURRRRR cute i love how she looks like a little alien when she walks and she reminds me of a lamb when she sleeps 🥹 i love this little shrek dog

and this is CHARLOTTE (named after the sp*der from charlotte’s web bc she has 8 legs!) who may be my all time favorite dog possibly even rivalling bambi. she was one of a couple dogs i created to get the spindly achievement but an older dog got it first… but it was too late bc i had already fed her a ton of nutritional pellets which were supposed to make her legs longer and SOMEHOW when she aged up some of the gut flora mutated her and made her legs rly thick so she had trouble walking (it didn’t stop her from goofing off w her food though lol). i felt so bad and kept trying to feed her stuff that would make her better able to walk but it didn’t rly work… so she had anxiety attacks ALL the time and i couldn’t calm her down bc she was averse to petting and she would freeze up while she was panicking so i couldn’t convince her to pick up toys and stuff and i was freaking out. the only thing that seemed to work was letting her take frequent naps bc when she’d wake up she would be calm and then i just had to make sure there were no obstructions in her path and like follow her rly closely everywhere and make sure she never got hungry or anything.. so i got very attached to her bc i was so focused on making sure she was doing ok and rooting for her very hard. then she kinda had a 180 personality change and i still don’t understand why it happened? but all of a sudden she was bouncing w happiness ALL the time (like so hard that her head would bang the floor!) and playing around w other dogs and even flying sometimes and it was so endearing and relieving to see! so she is my favorite (or at least tied w bambi) bc of her character development and also bc she is very cute like look at that last pic of her jumping 🥰

[theweasleysredhair]

Slipping Through My Fingers [F.W.]

Character: Fred Weasley

Word Count: 3396

Requested?: Yes/No

Summary: A series of snapshot memories through the years between Fred and his daughter. [Based on Slipping Through My Fingers by ABBA].

Tags: @gracemayhateyou @criminalyetminimal @angelinathebook @iprobablyshipit91 @potterverseimagine @slytherineheir @kpopgirlbtssvt @rexorangecouny @mytreec @hemmoporro @thisismysketchbook @acciotwinz @shadowsinger11 @aaannabbanana @lestersglitterglue @anyasthoughts @lxncelot @harrypotter289 @starlightweasley @slytherinsunrise @valwritesx @hufflrpuffforfred @cappsikle @kiwi-sloan @potter-redheads @pigwidgexn @twinkyjohnson @sarcasticallywitty15 @tyyyweasley @afriendlyneighborhoodhufflepuff @wonderful-writer @marauders-loving-queen @vogueweasley @marvelettesassemble @thisismynerdyself @gcdric @loony-loopy-lupinn @gloryekaterina @tinylumpiaa @locke-writes @wand3ringr0s3 @ickle-ronniekins @sehunasbitch @cryingforcrystalpepsi @kashishwrites @girl-next-door-writes @susceptible-but-siriusexual @crissdanvers @whiz-bangs78 @oh-for-merlins-sake @heavenlymidnight @aylinw3asley @vivianweasley | message or send an ask to be removed! unfortunately, my taglist is closed until further notice due to hitting the max. amount allowed on one post!

Disclaimer: Gif isn't mine, credit to whoever made it

A/n: this is a fred x reader but focuses more on fred w your daughter bc i’m a simp for dad fred pls help

~*~

PLEASE DO NOT REPOST MY WORK! REBLOGS ARE ABSOLUTELY FINE! <3

+ + + + +

If you asked him, Fred would say his happiest day was the day he married you. Watching you walk up the aisle in your white dress, pretty smile on your face, was a sight engrained into Fred’s memory forever.

He was irrevocably in love with you, this he knew, and that day just made him fall for you even more - his heart had beat so fast when he saw you walking towards him, looking like an angel.

He didn’t think his life could get any better.

That was until the day he held his little baby girl in his arms for the first time. He felt an overwhelming feeling of adoration for the tiny infant whose whole hand could only just clasp around his finger. This little baby who depended on him so fully, his little bundle of joy wrapped in a pastel purple blanket, knitted by Molly.

He was wrapped around her finger from day one. She was a complete daddy’s girl, only settling to sleep when in her father’s arms, immediately stopping crying when being held by him. Often, he’d fall asleep with his baby girl laying on his chest, his hand holding her in place as she snuggled into his sweater.

He’d take her to his shop, holding her as he spoke to customers, whilst he served them at the tills, enjoying when they asked him questions about her - about his beautiful little baby who could barely open her eyes yet, but who owned his heart completely.

By the time she was a few months old, Fred insisted they were best friends, spending as much time as he could with her, looking after her whilst you went back to work. He was almost besotted - she was his soft spot, possibly the only person besides you who could get him to do whatever they wanted.

“Say dada! Come on, Evie! Say dada! Dada!” Fred stood in front of his little girl, who was sat in her high chair, giggling at the funny faces he was pulling at her.

She’d been making sounds for the last couple of weeks and you were both sure she was going to start speaking soon - something you were both excited about. Fred was determined that her first word would be dada, her being so fond of him and all, and couldn’t wait until she finally said it.

“Ba!” The baby announced excitedly, kicking her little legs in the chair. Fred grinned at her, “Yes darling, ba! But please say dada! Dada!”

At the silence, he sighed, “Fine, what about mama? Can you say mama?”

“Mmm?” The baby pursed her lips and blew a spit bubble at him.

“Are you trying to get her to speak again?”

Fred looked up at George, who entered the kitchen, and sighed again, “She’s gonna do it! I swear! She’ll say dada!”

George stepped into the baby’s eyeline and she began squirming in her seat, letting out a loud, happy squeal and banging on the tray in front of her.

She tried to point at the younger twin, who grinned at his niece and poked her cheek, making her giggle, “Hello darling! Someone’s happy to see me, aren’t they?”

She opened her mouth and Fred held his breath, hoping she would speak, before shaking his head fondly as she simply hiccuped, uninterested in saying anything at all.

“These things take time, she’ll say it eventually, you can’t rush it,” George reminded his twin, who leant against the fridge, not taking his eyes off the baby.

“I know,” he glanced up at George, “I just... I can’t for her to say-“

“Dada!”

Fred’s eyes widened, George nearly dropping the glass he’d gotten down from the cupboard.

“Did she just-“

“She did! My baby girl said- Oh Evie, my amazing, beautiful, smart little girl!” Fred lifted her from the chair and cradled her into his arms, “Did you say ‘Dada’?”

“Dada!” She cheered again.

“Y/n is gonna kill you for getting her to speak whilst she’s not here,” George said, amused.

But the words didn’t register to Fred, who was too busy lifting the baby up into the air and back down again as she squealed.

As she started getting closer to being able to walk, Fred made it his mission to baby-proof your home, ensuring she couldn’t hurt herself on anything. She was currently shuffling everywhere on her bottom, with the occasional attempt at holding the couch to help her stand up.

Every time she did this, you both encouraged her to try and move towards you, most of the time receiving blank stares or the occasional laugh.

This time, however, your little girl seemed more determined to move around by herself.

“Come on, come to dada!” Fred called to her with a reassuring smile. He glanced over at you, winking before his attention settled back on his daughter.

“Dada!” The infant babbled, grinning at Fred, who was crouching with his arms out around a metre distance away. Her wide eyes beamed at him as she let go of the couch and made a couple of wobbly steps towards Fred, her own little arms reaching out for him, before losing her balance and falling onto her bottom just in front of her dad.

“Evie, princess! Did my clever little girl just walk?” He cooed, clapping his hands together as the baby smiled at him. He scooped his daughter up and she clapped her little fists together copying his previous actions, before letting out a giggle - Fred swore he’d never heard something so adorable.

“You’re so smart, aren’t you baby girl?” You smiled, taking the baby as she held her arms out to you.

“Mama!”

Once she mastered walking, you found that you couldn’t get her to sit still for anything. A ball of energy just like her father, she happily ran around the place all day, especially enjoying when Fred would take her into work with him.

“We need to leave, come on Evie!” Fred held out her coat, watching as she crossed her arms over her chest and shook her head, “No! Don’ wanna!”

Fred sat beside her, “We’re going to daddy’s work though! Don’t you want to come?”

Her resolve relaxed a little as she raised her eyebrows, staring up at him, “Daddy wor’?”

“Yes princess, daddy’s work. And if you’re good, we could get you some ice cream before we go?”

She immediately stopped pouting, peering up at him through her dark lashes in excitement, and bouncing around in her seat, “Ice ‘eam?”

“Yes, ice cream!” Fred agreed, “Should we go?”

She nodded immediately and stood up, allowing him to put her shoes and coat on whilst she happily babbled out a story to him.

She grabbed his hand as they walked to Diagon Alley, stopping off for ice cream as promised, before she noticed the familiar orange building in the distance and suddenly let go of his hand, darting off through a couple of crowds of people.

“Wait, Evie, come back!” Fred called out, dodging people, running after his toddler, who was surprisingly fast when she wanted to be.

She ran through the doors of the joke shop and found George quickly, the latter busy restocking some shelves near the entrance, a box in his hands. At the sound of the door opening, he looked over and smiled softly at the little girl who had entered.

“Unca Geowge, I got ice ‘eam!” She announced happily to him, holding out the ice cream cone to him and ignoring the fact that ice cream was now running down her fist.

“Oh Merlin, you’ve got ice cream?” He faked his shock before noticing it was everywhere but in the actual cone, “Well you’ve definitely got it all over you haven’t you, darling?” He left the stock where it was, placing the box he was holding on the floor, grabbing the handkerchief out of his jacket pocket and crouching down to wipe her hands and cheeks.

“There we go, much better,” George nodded at her and she offered him a toothy grin.

“Tank you, Unca Geowge.”

He laughed as he watched an out-of-breath Fred nearly fall through the shop door, “No problem, sweetheart.”

“What did I say about running off, Evie?” Fred scolded her, though thankful that she had found the way to George without getting lost - he didn’t want to have to explain that he lost your daughter to you.

The little girl turned to her dad and dropped her head, pouting, “No’ to dwo it.”

Fred lifted her up and went to tell her off again, but stopped as he looked in her eyes, his face softening, “It’s okay baby, just don’t do it again, alright?”

She nodded, “I won’t.” Then, she turned away in his arms and dropped her ice cream cone onto the floor, before looking back up at her dad innocently, “I done wiv ice ‘eam now.”

“Evie,” he sighed, before placing her down on the floor and letting her run off towards George, who hid a laugh as Fred cleaned up the floor.

“You know what Mum would say,” George grinned, watching his brother pick up the cone and drop it into the bin beside the till counter.

Fred opened his mouth to answer, when suddenly there was a loud crash and the twins turned to where the noise came from, a stand of vials having fallen over.

Evie’s mouth was open as she pointed to the vials rolling across the floor, “Oopsie!”

“Karma,” Fred groaned, before moving off to clean up again after his daughter.

Wrapped around her finger, you always said. He’d do anything and everything his little girl asked of him, never being able to tell her ‘no’ without going back on his word once he saw her trembling bottom lip or puppy eyes.

You kicked off your heels as you entered your home, glad to finally be back after a long day.

“Hello?” You called out, rifling through the post that had been left on the table. You frowned when you didn’t receive a response, but the sound of giggling came from upstairs and you dropped the letters back where they were, going off to find your husband and daughter.

“What’s going on here?” You asked as you pushed the door to Evie’s room open, placing your bag down in the hallway and entering in. Fred looked up, and you stifled a laugh, noticing that your little girl had roped him into letting her do his makeup - if the lipstick on the cheeks and bright blue eyeshadow were anything to go by - a pink feather boa hanging round his neck, along with some costume jewellery clip-on earrings, a tiara and, your favourite, a way-too-small hot pink tutu around his waist as he sat at the little table in her room.

“Can’t you see, mummy?” Your daughter blinked up at you pointedly, “We’re having a tea party! I made daddy into a princess like in the stories you read to me!”

“He makes a very pretty princess, doesn’t he sweetie?” You grinned at Fred - who winked dramatically at you - before pressing a kiss to your daughter’s head as she nodded in agreement with you.

“Tea, daddy?” She asked, lifting her teapot and pouring her ‘tea’ into his cup without waiting for his answer. He raised the cup to his lips and stuck his pinky out, showing off the plastic rings he was also wearing.

“Delicious,” he confirmed as he placed the cup back down.

After spending nearly all their time together, Fred found it extremely difficult to say goodbye to his daughter on her first day at Hogwarts, not wanting to part from his little girl who he adored so much.

You walked along the platform, reminiscing about your own Hogwarts days, and hoping your daughter would make just as many happy memories as you watched families say goodbye to each other and friends reunite. Fred was holding her trunk, and she clutched your hand tightly.

“I’m scared,” you daughter admitted to you, looking around at all the Hogwarts students running around, laughing and boarding the train.

You lifted up the hand you were holding and pressed a kiss to her knuckles, “You’re going to be just fine, baby. You’re gonna have an amazing time, and probably won’t even want to come home!”

She laughed, “I’ll always come home, Mum.”

You pulled her into a hug, “We’re only an owl away, you know that.” Evie nodded, “I know.”

“Gonna miss you sweetheart. Who am I supposed to prank your Mum with now? I’ve lost my partner in crime!” Fred grinned, laughing as Evie ran into his arms.

“You’ve got Uncle George,” she nodded over to where said younger twin was stood, saying goodbye to his eldest.

“Don’t tell him, but I prefer you.”

Evie giggled, before grabbing her trunk from Fred and bidding you both goodbye. She took a few steps towards the train, before turning back around, dropping her trunk and running back over to you, giving you another hug, before moving back into her dad’s arms.

“I love you both so much,” she mumbled, before heading to re-pick her trunk up.

“We love you too, princess,” Fred replied, watching as she headed towards the train. She settled into a compartment after a minute or so, and waved at you both through the window. You waved back, offering her a reassuring smile.

“Is it too late to have another one?” Fred joked, his hand snaking around your waist and sliding into your back pocket.

You slapped his arm playfully and let out a laugh, shaking your head at him. You watched the train leave, smiling sadly and waving again, before glancing at him, “What are we gonna do with an empty house?”

Fred winked as you began to head off the platform, “Oh I have a few ideas in mind.”

The goodbyes didn’t get easier each year, but the time apart was helped by the letters Evie sent to you, always keeping in touch where she could. You kept each of her letters, reading them when you missed her most.

Her latest letter held news you’d been waiting for since you’d sent her off, rushing to write her back as soon as you’d received it, and before Fred got home from work to help with the response.

“Did you read her letter? She’s going on a date!” He called through to you in the kitchen. The shock in his voice amused you, though you were expecting some kind of resistance to this new development in your daughter’s life.

“I know!” You replied cheerfully, stirring the food on the stove, “The boy sounds so lovely!”

“Y/n, love, I don’t think you understand,” Fred frowned as he entered the kitchen, heading over to press a kiss to your lips before continuing, “Our baby girl is going on a date with some pathetic thirteen year old boy. I was a thirteen year old boy once! I know how they think!”

“He sounds really nice! And Evie seems to really like him,” you wrapped your arms around his neck and pressed another kiss to his lips, one he returned immediately, “Besides, you asked me on a date when we were thirteen, look how we’ve ended up!”

“That’s different.”

“How is that any different?” You laughed, shaking your head as you turned to stir the food again.

Fred pouted, wrapping his arms around your waist from behind and leaning his chin on your shoulder, “Because that’s my baby girl.”

“Your baby girl who is going on her first date. It’s exciting!” You insisted, “And anyway, I may or may not have already written back to her saying you approve...”

Fred’s eyes widened, his mouth dropping comically, “You did what?!”

Fred was always going to be apprehensive about any boy Evie mentioned she was dating - you assumed that much - and the day she came home for Christmas, completely upset, did not help this matter.

“I’m gonna kill him,” Fred growled, his first clenching as he thought about the no-good boyfriend - well, ex boyfriend - of his little girl, who had thought it was a good idea to break up with her just before Christmas.

“Fred, no-“

“I’m gonna kill him with my bare hands.”

“Fred-“ You tried to calm him down, knowing that though his anger was justified, it wouldn’t make Evie feel any better.

“Look at our little girl! Look what he did to her!” His face softened as he glanced into the living room at his daughter, who was curled up in the corner of the sofa, eyes closed, tears staining her cheeks.

“Look, I’m angry too. But what she needs right now is a lot of chocolate, cuddles, and her parents’ support. She doesn’t need you yelling about the boy, okay?” You looked at him pointedly, waiting for him to nod at you. When he does, you smile at him and gesture towards the teen girl, “Go see if you can cheer her up, eh?”

“It’s what I’m best at.”

Eventually, much to yours and Fred’s delight, Evie found a man she ended up falling for completely after she graduated from Hogwarts.

He was kind, smart, definitely charming, and you took a liking to him immediately. Fred took a little while longer, however he eventually admitted he really liked the guy, and loved how happy he made Evie.

The day he came to you both asking for Evie’s hand in marriage, you agreed without hesitation, and when your daughter came to you to show you her ring, you’d screamed in happiness and starting talking weddings immediately, bringing out catalogues and deciding on a dress together.

“You’ll do my hair and makeup, right Mum?” She had asked.

“Of course I will baby!”

You sat her on your bed on the morning of the wedding, humming as you twirled her hair into an intricate style and applied her last minute makeup touches.

“You look beautiful, sweetheart,” you whispered, pressing your lips together as a few tears escaped your eyes.

She leaned over and wiped the tears away, pulling you into a hug, “Thank you, Mum.”

She stayed with you whilst you got yourself ready, laughing about old memories, and talking about the future, about memories you were yet to make.

You’d just finished getting dressed when Fred knocked on the door, bringing in your daughter’s wedding dress that Molly had been so kind as to alter for her.

He placed the dress down on the bed carefully, turning to look you up and down and whistling as you shook your head at him, before he turned to Evie, who was smiling up at him.

“When did my baby girl get so gorgeous, huh?” He grinned, leaning down to hug her.

She returned the hug with a laugh, “Dad, come on, stop it! You’re gonna make me cry, and Mum just finished helping me do my makeup.”

“I can’t help it. I look at you and I still see my little girl. But you’re all grown up now, I guess you’re not so little, huh?”

Evie smiled, pulling away from the hug to look at him, “I’ll always be your little girl, Dad.”

You finally ushered Fred out as you helped your daughter into her dress, adding last minute touches where needed.

“Where did the time go, eh?” You asked her, looking at her in the mirror, “I feel like you were a baby just yesterday.”

She smiled at your reflection, “Time flies when you’re having fun, right?”

When Fred saw his daughter in her wedding dress, he swallowed, feeling how he did when he had to say goodbye to her on Platform 9 3/4 every year - it was bittersweet, knowing she was leaving, but also just knowing she was going off to live her life, and make her own happy memories, made it all worth it.

“Ready to give me away?”

And as he looked down at his daughter, her excitement evident and barely fighting the grin that spread from ear to ear, he swallowed and couldn’t help but smile back at her.

He nodded, “Yeah, I’m ready.”

He felt her cling onto his arm and smiled to himself softly.

No matter what, no matter where life took her, she would always be his little girl.

[sunnypogue]

college rafe gets jealous (blurb)

lil bit of jealous rafe per anon request

college!rafe verse bc why the f00k not

note - jealous/possessive boyfriends usually are not the bizzzzz...not trying to romanticize any toxic traits, but hopefully you can sense a bit of growth from mr. cameron here.

(warning: nsfw-ish, possessive!rafe)

you’re sippin’ on bud from the bottle, chatting with your friend michelle & her boyfriend tyler, when he walks up.

it’s one of tyler’s pi kapp fraternity brothers, notorious for getting too drunk & a little too friendly - it looked like tonight would be no different, as he clasped your bare shoulders with his hands.

“wooo!” he yelled over the thumping base of the bar’s music. “I fucking LOVE game day!”

unc had destroyed florida state in a basketball game earlier that evening, resulting in a rather chaotic post-game celebration at the local bar. you, having worked the game, only got to the bar 15 minutes ago, playing catch up with your significantly more drunk friends.

“hi michael.” you winced, his voice booming in your ear - you were NOT drunk enough for this.

michelle laughed at your face as michael swung his arm around your shoulder, leaning down to drunkenly snuggle into your neck (you were never good at hiding your feelings, your face getting you in trouble more often than not). michael was slurring words you couldn’t understand as he started to dead weight himself on you, causing you to slightly stumble under the 6’2” frat boy.

“michael, get off.” you groaned, pushing him on the shoulder. “and lay off the dollar beers, for Christ’s sake.”

michael made no effort to move, instead weaving his arms around you in a pseudo-hug. you rolled your eyes, trying to shake him off. as tyler made a move to help de-tangle his friend from your body, you immediately felt a 220 pound weight lifted from you, the freedom almost disorienting you.

“what the fuck is going on?”

you looked up to see your boyfriend, rafe, angrily fisting the front of michael’s sweatshirt, two buds comfortably sitting between the fingers of his other hand.

“hey baby,” you started, moving to rest a gentle hand on the arm that was holding a very inebriated michael up, trying to disregard the small crowd of lambdas that flanked rafe, in case shit went down.

rafe ignored you, pulling michael closer to his face, “keep your hands off her. I don’t want to have to explain it to you again.” his words were scarily even, face emotionless as he stared michael down.

he shoved michael back towards michelle and tyler, who barely caught the stumbling boy, before rafe pointed a beer at them, “tyler, keep your little bitch in check. shit’s embarrassing at this point.”

you looked apologetically towards michelle, who was trying to simultaneously hold michael up and talk tyler down from a fight, before following rafe, who was stomping towards the front door, knocking the remainder of his beer back.

“hey!” you yelled, tugging on his arm before he started to put back the second bud, stopping him from leaving the bar. “what the fuck?”

he looked down at you. “I should be asking you that.”

you rolled your eyes, “it’s michael. he’s trashed, I genuinely think he thought I was a wall or something to hold him up.”

rafe chuckled mirthlessly, before polishing off the second beer, setting it down on a dirty table. he turned his backwards hat around, pulling it down low over his eyes. “let’s go.”

you crossed your arms. “really? you’re gonna do this shit right now?”

rafe turned towards the exit, growling, “I’m leaving.”

great - he’s deflecting. you thought, as you chugged the remainder of your beer, before hustling after him.

you shivered in your tank top as you caught up to him on the side walk outside the bar, watching as he ordered an uber, his breathing deep and heavy. you wordlessly leaned into his warm body, teeth chattering in the cold january air.

“here.” rafe grumbled, sliding his sweatshirt off to wrap around you. “it’s january, baby. what the hell are you wearing?”

you grinned, half pleased he wasn’t completely shutting you out, half pleased you were cozy and warm. “who cares? I look cute.”

he grumbled again, wrapping his arms around your neck from behind, pulling your back into his chest. y’all waited like that for the uber to pull up, before sliding into the back seat, rafe propping your feet up on his lap, a hand wrapped possessively around your ankle.

you caught his eye about a block from his house, giving him a shy smile and a wink. he growled, hand sliding up your leg.

you couldn’t get upstairs fast enough, practically tumbling out of the uber as rafe stalked after you, still slightly worked up from the incident at the bar. you went to go casually sit on the foot of the bed, kicking your shoes off, when rafe caught up to you, slamming the bedroom door behind him.

“you gonna be pissy all night?” you teased, pulling your hair down from its half-updo.

“what, I can’t be mad about some fucker groping you at a bar?” rafe growled, pulling his hat off to run his hands through his hair. you sat up on your knees, grabbing the hat from his hands before popping it backwards on your head.

“he wasn’t groping me,” you said, exasperated, adjusting your hair under his hat. “he was trying to stay vertical. very different.”

rafe gave you an amused look as you started to shimmy your jeans off while sitting, giving you a hand when they got stuck around your ankles.

“lookin’ good.” he laughed, taking in your appearance - you were down to just his hat and his sweatshirt, the rest of your outfit on the floor.

you smiled at rafe’s more-relaxed demeanor, popping up on your knees. “you’re a lucky man, rafe cameron. I’m not sure any other girl could pull this look off.”

rafe hummed, walking up to the foot of the bed to grab your ass, pulling you in. you squeaked, tipping forward into his chest, the too-big cap slipping down on your forehead. 

you peered up at him, using one hand to steady yourself on his chest, the other to push the hat back - “you better now?”

rafe leaned down to catch your lips in a heated kiss, teeth nipping your bottom lip enough to make you gasp, allowing his tongue to slide in. one hand slid to roughly grasp the back of your neck as he dictated the pace, the other palming your ass cheek, keeping your body flush to his.

you pulled away a couple minutes later, breathless and lips already feeling bruised, hand moving to your chest to settle your heightened heart rate.

“a little better.” he mumbled, hand moving to the front of your neck, lightly tracing your throat with his fingers. “I know what will really help, though.”

(later, you found yourself seated on his cock, tits bouncing as you rode him wearing nothing but the hat, his hand spanking your ass as he made you tell him who you belonged to - you screamed his name as you came on his cock, screamed his name as he came inside you, and screamed his name as he went to eat his come out of you, listening to him growl “you’re mine” as he shoved his face in your dripping cunt.)

as y’all basked in the afterglow, your legs twisted around his, his hand cupping one of your breasts, he breathed out an apology.

“sorry, baby. I know you hate that shit.” he murmured, mindlessly letting his finger circle your nipple.

you wiggled under his light touch, “s’okay baby. you didn’t fight anyone tonight.”

he smirked, rolling your now-hard nipple between his fingers, watching your head tip back in pleasure. “what can I say baby, I’m practically a pacifist now.”

you snorted, smacking his bare shoulder, pleasure forgotten in the humor. “okay bub, whatever you say.” you giggled again. “pacifist my ass. you literally fought a beta in october because he looked at my ass.”

you yelped as rafe tugged you into his side, rolling you under him, his arms bracketing your head. “like it didn’t turn you on.”

you moaned as he leaned down to kiss you again, filthy and slow, tongues fighting for control.

he pulled away a few moments later, brushing your hair out of your face, before his hand cupped your cheek.

you pouted, nuzzling into his palm. “I really should stop sleeping with you after you get all jealous - I think you think I’m encouraging it.”

rafe grinned down at you, slipping his thumb between your teeth, watching as your eyes widened. “whatever babes,” he chuckled, pressing the digit down on your tongue, “you’re mine.”

[loveyhoneydovey]

Dating Sam and Joaquín headcanons

Note: I was trying to write headcanons and I couldn't pick which one of them I wanted to write about, so I was like "why not both?" So here's the result, it's a mess and I wrote this at 3AM, I'm so sorry 💀

All my stories are written with a bisexual reader of colour in mind, but anyone else is more than welcome to read them

Sam Wilson x Joaquín Torres x fem!Reader

Warnings: slight mention of injuries, SMUT (lots of filth i'm sorry)

· listen omg, constant entertainment from all three of you, like one of you is always up to something

· ok so i think it started out with only sam and torres

· they had been dating for a while before they first met you, their new neighbour

· you know how torres was fanboying over sam?? yeah, that was nothing compared to how you felt when you first met them

· like maybe you were struggling with the boxes you were carrying during your move because they were so full

· sam and joaquín were on their way home from their morning jog when they saw you, and what kind of people would they be if they didn’t help their cute new neighbour

· when they first introduce themselves, you’re just grateful to see the people in your new building are nice. You also felt like they looked super familiar

· they could see the gears turning in your head when they’d first introduced themselves. Both theorizing about how long it would take you to realize

· and then after like 2 minutes, it hits you, and you feel so dumb

· you try to remain calm and collected since you didn’t want them to think you were crazy or feel like they couldn’t be comfortable in their own home

· they were super chill too, you noticed joaquín was the more talkative one, while sam was content with letting his boyfriend take charge of the convo

· by the end of it you ended up agreeing to hang out together, you promised them baked goods as a thank you for their help

· you’d totally stuttered a few times, and half the time you were staring at them with heart eyes (which joaquín was not used to but sam was jngercewdc have y’all not seen the way torres looks at him whenever they interact?)

· you end up forming a relationship with them, which eventually morphs into something more

· none of you had ever had more than a partner before, so you were all figuring it out together

· torres would be so chaotic. So organized on the field, yet so clumsy at home

· sam is the one that has his shit together (not always but definitely most of the time)

· and when you start dating them, they quickly realize you’re even clumsier than joaquín, and sam’s like “oh no, there’s two of them now”

· ok let’s talk about the good stuff now

· so many freaking cuddles

· post-mission cuddles are a thing in this relationship

· just the three of you laying in bed, holding each other, tracing patterns on each other’s skin, enjoying each other’s presence

· both of them LOVE having their hair played with. only difference is sam has a bit of difficulty asking for it while joaquín will put his head on your lap and put your hand on his hair

· if they come home with minor injuries, you help them clean treat their wounds. The first time this happened, you only had avengers themed band aids (which torres LOVES), so from that point on you only buy those

· on lazy days, after some lazy morning sex, all three of you like to spend the day baking new recipes and eating them in bed

· joaquín getting whip cream on the corner of his lips and on his cheek

· sam making fun of him before you tell him he also has some on his nose

· sam putting whip cream on your face when you least expect it to get revenge

· tickle fights, they used to team up against you until an elbow was once accidentally thrown and someone got a black eye

· you and joaquín love taking cute pics of sam when he’s not looking. He noticed it eventually but never said anything because he thought it was adorable

· both you and joaquín coming home with stray animals and trying to convince sam to let you keep them

· and of course he’s gonna say yes, you two had perfected your puppy eye technique

· he’s that kind of person who says no to getting a pet, then ends up spoiling it more than you and joaquín combined

· you never need a blanket when you’re around them, especially around sam because they’re always so warm

· movie night dates always ended in the three of you doing anything but watching the movie

· both of them flying you with their wings at least once

· you calling them captain and lieutenant in public to tease them

· messing with them by acting like a fan who’s never met them

· like at one point you buy a poster of each one of them and go up to them and you’re like “i’m a big fan, may I get an autograph”, which makes them roll their eyes

· dude they’re also both so playful. Always cracking jokes and even competing to see who’ll come up with the best joke

· the three of you always know you have a home with the two others, and that you can always openly talk about your problems and insecurities without fearing each other’s reactions

· I think sam is the one that has a harder time asking for help. so you and joaquín are more attentive to his body language and any other signs that might reveal that he’s feeling down

· it breaks your heart because he was always taking care of you, joaquín and everyone else, and you needed him to know he was important too

· you decide one day that the three of you should go on vacation every once in a while, because you’d all been working so hard and deserved a little peace

· (also bc shitless sam and shirtless torres)

· imagine eventually they’d give you their dog tags as a way of proposing 🥺 i’m melting

· you had a little ceremony while on a tropical vacation with your closest friends and your pets and had the time of your lives

· you knew you technically couldn’t legally get married, but that didn’t matter. You wouldn’t have it any other way

NSFW headcanons

· now let’s get into the filthy stuff

· whenever you act up, you usually do it around joaquín, because you knew he’d have a harder time saying no or disciplining you

· and he knew you were using that to your advantage, he saw right through it

· yet most of the time it worked

· sam was more of a no nonsense type of person, so if you wanted to break the rules and act like a big girl, he was going to treat you like one

· sam is the ultimate brat tamer and you can’t convince me otherwise

· as a punishment, he loved making you ride his thigh (have y’all seen this man’s thighs? three course meal), but not letting you cum

· whenever you’d whine or pout, he’d remind you that you brought this on yourself

· while joaquín would try to get him to go easy on you, because he took pity on you and kinda has a soft spot for you

· until one day you made the mistake of pushing him too far

· maybe you’d felt like they weren’t giving enough attention, so you threatened to go get it somewhere else. Maybe you even brought up how you could go to that one friend who had a crush on you (you definitely weren’t going to, but you knew how to push their buttons)

· whether you were planning on following through with that threat of not didn’t matter

· you got the punishment of your life on that day

· he’d edged you for hours, to the point where you were crying and trembling and begging him to cum

· so he made you cum, non-stop

· “you wanted me to let you cum, didn’t you? Now take it like a good girl”

· even sam is SHOOK, now he almost took pity on you

· by the time they’re done with you you can barely remember your own name

· they took you to pound town 😌

· ALSO, you’re all switches, and sometimes you enjoy cuffing one of them or being the one giving out the orders

· I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again, torres has a praise kink and LOVES being called a good boy

· Sam has one as well, but it’s more discreet

· likes being told how good he’s making the two of you feel, how no one else can do it like him

· ok but aftercare with them would be so soft

· you’re all super attentive to each other’s needs and usually know if it’s time for a bubble bath and cuddles or if you want to be held and drift to sleep

· lazy morning sex!!! just the three of you taking your time, exploring each other without a rush and not worrying about the outside world

· if they’re on a mission together and have a bit of free time, expect lots of nudes and teasing

· or sometimes even videos, which you find not fair because they have each other and you’re all alone

· NFJDNVEF imagine you buy them one of those clone a willy kits as a joke 💀💀💀 but you end up actually using them

· you know how they gave you their dog tags? yeah it drives them crazy whenever they’re fucking you or you’re riding them and they see the tags bounce

· especially those times where you’d wake them up in the middle of the night because you had a wet dream and couldn’t wait till the next morning. Where the only light entering your room would be provided by the moon, sometimes shining on the tags they gave you

· … imagine sometimes two of you decide to team up against the third and compete to see who’ll give them more orgasms 👀the loser has to do whatever the winner wants

· Jdfvfds lord this is such a long mess i’m so sorry

· in conclusion, there would never be a dull moment with those two and they’d be the sweetest, gentlest partners

Tags: @bury-my-love-inthe-moondust

[awhilde]

kaeya as your boyfriend!

seeing all these hc’s for genshin is making me sob like god damn all these enemies to lovers for childe and lumine is making me simp for him. also i’ll never shut up about kaeya his yoho in the manga reminds me of oikawa and that just throws me into a whole other world of hurt

&& this is potentially the last piece of genshin content that i’ll post in a while bc i don’t just want to write purely abt genshin however !! if someone asks for it who am i to say no?

neways,,, kaeya as ur boyfriend!

the beginning of your relationship would have originated with his confession to you

despite being a huge romantic, kaeya confessed to you with no prior planning, nothing spectacular like a mysterious note leading to a tree caked in snow despite the rest of the world enveloped in a still night

in fact, kaeya hadn’t even come to terms with his true feelings when it occurred, he simply knew that he found you fascinating and of good company. besides, you easily bounced back his roundabout way of talking and your banter provided him good humour

so when the two of you were casually patrolling the streets of the city on the lookout for potential hazards, he’d dropped the bomb mid conversation when you guys were talking about your family

“yeah, i totally get that.” you had said in reply to his advice. “i’m just anxious i guess, on what i should do. after taking so long, is my brother even still alive?” after a shaky inhale, you laughed off the suddenly sombre atmosphere. “sorry, i didn’t mean to bring the mood down. i suppose i just felt a bit alone in this whole situation. its like no one is taking my brother’s disappearance seriously and its being overlooked because of all this dragon business.”

kaeya hadn’t been sure as to what to say for he felt slightly guilty for forgetting the reason why you ended up here as well. he felt an odd pang in his chest at your crestfallen expression, more so at how much you tried to cover it up with a smile.

he’d suddenly turn from walking beside you to standing in front, gauging your expression and successfully halting you in your step

he’d confess with a smile, clearly not expecting a response and solely in hopes of letting you know that he cared for you and you weren’t alone. he wouldn’t be nervous ion think, he knows his worth and would be completely comfortable with only being your friend. he’d let the news comprehend in your mind before turning around, wishing you a goodnight and a slight pun about how the early bird gets the worm

oh boy, kaeya’d would have never expected you to return his feelings but you did anyway, replying in a similar, quiet tone, expressing the emotions that you felt around the ice man and only THEN did he blush. he’d hid the majority of his reddening face behind his palm, looking off the right slightly to try and hide his face from you. the fluistered look on his face sent you out of this world

neways, the night ended in a limbo between awkward, flustered glances and timid silence, and finding the situation hilarious because well,, it just was to you two

the day after that, your relationship was relatively the same

except, kaeya no longer hid his lingering looks at you anymore which made 1). you blush and 2). everyone suspicious

but i mean they called it so,,,

everyone, that is, except paimon who exists only to be the biggest cockblocker you’ve ever met. no like seriously, did almost drowning cause the last sliver of common sense to escape from her?

regardless, paimon was on your ass every. single. time you and kaeya talked whether it be in private or within a group

like that one time when kaeya managed to get you alone in the library, having not had the opportunity to talk to you privately all day

he had stood a little too close to you (bc kaeya is a : dom and towering over you is something he would find pleasure in doing) as you talked. clearly, he wasn’t paying attention to your attempt at small talk instead opting to inch you closer to the wall with a smirk

you’re not completely dense, you knew exactly what he was doing but he was hot so you let it slide, finding the situation kinda addicting to be in

“anyway, amber was telling me something about cleaning up the aftermath of stormterror, something about barricades and the like, are you going to be helping us this time?” you had asked him, eyebrow raised over the book you had clutched to your chest

kaeya smirks and steps closer again, causing you to back away slightly. “and if i don’t?”

“go ahead and find out yourself, pretty boy, see how well that turns out.”

the bored challenge in your voice disappears when he closes the gap between you two, placing a forearm easily above your head and tilting your body in that respective direction, easily caging you in

“caring for me? where did your tsundere act go?” he whispered, breath tickling the hairs framing your face. by now, you were sure it was obvious that you were blushing

your eyes flick to his lips and back to his eye, his own catching the movement and you swore his lips stretched further into that smirk. his face edges closer to yours, a still silence in the form of an inhaled breath tense in the air and just as kaeya’s lips touched your own

the door to the library slams open

kaeya immediately brings his head up and checks behind his shoulder, body still encasing yours but this time in order to protect you

and you can’t see because,, well,, kaeya’s body was obstructing your vision so you turn to look around him but he moves that way too, protecting you from the intruder’s sight

but well, you didn’t need to see the person to know them because their voice was a dead give away

“kaeya!” paimon exclaimed and you hear kaeya’s short huff of exhaustion. “have you seen name? she said she was around here but,,, paimon hasn’t seen her anywhere. why are you looking at paimon like that?”

convinced that she wasn’t a threat, kaeya sighs and leans his forehead against yours. you giggle slightly

paimon finally sees you, at least your figure anyway and gasps. “wait a minute, is that a girl paimon is seeing? kaeya, what are you doing with this girl? unless,,, omg are you cheating on name?”

and without looking at the floating human, kaeya tells her to leave in a firm voice. clearly, he didn’t like any of this bullshit

and paimon gets a little scared before she huffs, telling him that she was totally going to tell you what he was doing

and the door slams after her with extra intended force and with the help of a few icicles

kaeya opens his eyes and gazes longingly at you, frustrated and annoyed at well,, being cockblocked. the moment of intense sexual tension is over and being flustered is well past you know. besides, you kinda wanted to clear up the misunderstanding before paimon spreads some nasty rumour. and sure, kaeya couldn’t care less about his reputation, but you cared about his

so you laugh at his misery and give him a quick peck on the lips before ducking under his arm and exiting the library

kaeya would be a little stunned at your move on him, but he was well aware of your cheeky side. for the rest of the day, he would declare war on you, trying to get you flustered again (bc its funny and cute). he’d do things like cooling his skin when you accidently touch him, standing way too close to you in group discussions and !! breathing down your neck (bc mans has cold breath) and just generally looking at your direction  

you’d fight back bc he’s being ridiculous, winking when you caught him staring, squeezing his hand when he walks past and jokingly avoiding his attempts to get you in private

bc i mean, there was a dragon terrorising the world so romance shouldn’t be your first priority

a shame that kaeya thinks he’s all that and confident in his abilities that he’s like yes i can juggle saving the world and winning over my girlfriend in my sleep wym

when this silly “fight” is over, you finally let kaeya drag you into an alleyway, pressing you up against the wall and kissing you without words

and you smile into the kiss bc frustrated kaeya is so cute

and that’s the relationship, just a mix of pure fluff (bc kaeya really does care for you a lot), stupid banter and sexual tension!!

wow!

[astrozones]

Gay Eyes - Prinxiety

@idkwhyimhere0o0 , @slitherynchiken bc yall wanted to see this uwu

Original Post here!

Summary: "Gay eyes" was a stupid concept. Virgil could hardly believe his ears when Roman suggested it earlier that day- when they were trying to pursue Nico. And of course, it didn't work. Because it was stupid. Idiotic. So why couldn't he stop thinking about it- or the boy who had suggested it?

Discord: Astro’s Zone

Ship: Prinxiety

Read on AO3

Spoiler warning for Flirting With Social Anxiety!! 

Gay eyes, right?

 That’s what he called them?

 It was stupid. A stupid name, a stupid concept, a stupid- ugh, everything!

 So why couldn’t he stop thinking about it-!

 Virgil groaned, turning himself around so he could shove his face onto the pillow. Ughhhhhhhh. 

 Maybe it was because Roman looked so damn pretty doing it and- nope! Not going down that train of thought. At least, not for the fifth time tonight.

 ‘Gay eyes’. Ugh. Something about that was familiar. Did someone do them to Thomas? No, no, he would’ve heard Roman prattling on about it in a lovestruck monologue if someone did. That much was certain.

 Ah- maybe- well, Thomas had to have done it sometime, right? He seemed so familiar with the concept. That must be why he was understood it. It was the only logical reason, at least. Heh, maybe Logan would be proud of him for coming up with an understandable conclusion.

 But- that wasn’t it, was it? Something in his nonexistent heart told him so. And while he made a point to not listen to his heart- it could get them in so many dangerous situations, after all- he spent a few more minutes thinking about it. Just in case.

 He couldn’t think of anything else though. No matter how many paths he went through, nothing made sense, except for if another Side had done them while he was watching or something and-!

 Oh.

 Oh.

 God, he remembered it- about 3 weeks ago, Roman was acting weird. And not his normal type of fantastical-focused weirdness either. He hadn’t thought much of it- that was a lie, he spent too much time thinking about it- but Roman kept looking over at Virgil, both of them sitting at opposite ends of the couch.

 When Virgil finally chanced looking over and meeting his eyes, Roman simply raised an eyebrow at him. A second later, he switched his expression to an innocent one, looking away, and back, where he lifted his eyebrow again with a smirk.

 What the fuck, he had thought. Huh? Ugh- whatever. Ro’ was just messing around. Virgil let out a scoff, lightly pushing Roman with a small laugh as he stood up and walked to the kitchen- Patton was starting to look longingly at the stove again, and Virgil decided he would supervise. They didn’t want a repeat of last time.

 Looking back on it, though… Was Roman… flirting with him? With Virgil? None of the others had been in the room, except for Patton, who was on the opposite side. So it must have been Virgil.

 But- why?

 Why Virgil? Was he pranking him? No, Roman wouldn’t do that, he was too serious about romance.

 That meant… that he was serious. That he was trying to flirt… with Virgil.

 The chances of Roman pranking him seemed far higher than the chances of Roman actually liking Virgil back, but- well, all the signs said he was genuine.

 Wait.

 Oh God.

 If he was flirting with him, that means- that means that Virgil just brushed off his flirting without a second thought. That he- did he accidentally reject Roman? Shit, shit, shitshitshit- FUCK! He must hate Virgil now and his chances were ruined and he’d be single forever and-

 Breathe. He- he had to breathe.

 In, out.

 Okay. Okay, he just had to think about it logically. Logically, Roman’s feelings for him wouldn’t go away just because Virgil rejected him (he rejected him! FUCK! FUCK!). Logically, he still had a chance.

 But what if he didn’t- what if Roman already convinced himself out of it, or what if he realized he wasn’t that interested after all and now he’s grateful I didn’t understand, or what if he- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-

 Okay- okay- he just… he had to make a plan to tell Roman. Easy. Yeah, that was a good idea.

 --

 This was a horrible idea. By far the worst of his ideas. Why was he doing this idea?!?

 Well, he supposed, this is why I’m not Creativity.

 He sat down on the couch, opposite of Roman. Step one, done.

 Roman glanced up at him, flashing a radiant smile before turning back to his book- something fantasy related, most likely. Fuck I’m gay.

 Could anyone blame him, though? Roman was just so pretty! Kind, too, he just wanted the best for everyone. He had a pretty straightforward set of right and wrong, but he was learning, and trying his best to make things right. Fuck, he was so passionate too. Virgil could sit there listening for hours as he ranted on about all his new ideas. He wanted to do that, he wanted to be there for Roman, to trust him enough to share thoughts he wasn’t entirely comfortable with.

 Oh shit, he had been staring at him for too long. Roman was looking at him with concern and curiosity. Enact step two, enact step two!

 Quickly, before he had a chance to feel scared about it- he let an eyebrow rise up, silently staring at Roman with a smile. He let the expression fall, looking away, then looking back, before switching back with a smirk.

 Fuck, Roman just looked confused. What were the steps again? What did he miss?!? I knew this was a bad idea-

 Roman softly gasped. Virgil’s gaze shot to him as a brilliantly bright blush adorned Roman’s face.

 Good reaction?

 “Was that- did you-?” Roman giggled, quickly covering his head with his hands.

 This is good-? No! No, this is bad! A bad reaction! You fucked up Virgil, ABORT, ABORT-

 “Roman, Virgil! It’s time to eat breakfast!” Patton called from the dining room. Shit. Now he couldn’t run away.

 --

 Roman kept trying to catch his gaze while they were eating. He saw it in the corner of his eye. But Virgil’s gaze stayed diligently on his food, eating quickly so he could run get away faster.

 “I’m going to my room- BYE!” he rushed out, disposing of the dishes before sprinting back to his room. He didn’t want to see the pitying glance Roman sent him.

 He face-planted straight onto his bed. He felt like crying, and he desperately fought back the tears that would tell everyone just what he was feeling.

 Fuck, why couldn’t he have just kept his mouth shut. Or, rather, repressed his feelings and lived with the fact that Roman would never like him back? Of course Roman wouldn’t feel the same- why would he? When Virgil was so much worse than him? 

 Fuck.

 He froze as a knock sounded at the door.

 Fucking shit- this was Roman coming to officially reject him, wasn’t it. Shit, not right now! Not when he was still processing it! He was gonna burst into tears!

 Biting his lip, he slowly made his way over to the door, opening it ever so cautiously.

 There stood Roman, bouncing on his heels with a grin. Virgil frowned, why is he so ecstatic about rejecting me? I thought he considered me a friend now…

 Roman opened his mouth to speak. Deny it! Deny it!

 “It was a joke.” Virgil blurted out. Roman’s stopped in place, staring at him.

 “What?” 

 “I didn’t mean it. Me doing the whole ‘gay eyes’ thing? It was a joke.” he murmured, fiddling with his sleeves. Roman made a strained noise.

 “I- um- I see. That, uh, that makes sense. Thanks for clarifying, Virgil. If you’ll excuse me, I really must be going now. Ideas to explore, and all. Toodle-oo!”

 And with that, Roman left.

 --

 “Of course it was too good to be true,” Roman moaned, falling back onto his thousands of pillows strewn over the floor. His body shook as he tried to hold back sobs.

 He had been trying to show hints to Virgil for ages, y’know. Roman was brave, but not brave enough to say it outright. He’d hoped- well, he’d hoped that after he showed a few hints, maybe, just maybe, Virgil would show some signs back. Just enough that Roman could be sure that his feelings were returned. 

 And he thought… that this was it. That Virgil’s sudden understanding of ‘gay eyes’ was the sign that he was looking for! 

 He always knew his endless optimism would come to bite him some day.

 “FUCK!” he shouted to no one. Thankfully he had soundproofed his room ages ago, after enough noise complaints from Logan about his singing. He wiped his tears away, scoffing as new ones just took their place.

 He should have known Virgil was too perfect for him.

 With his endearingly sarcastic attitude, his wonderfully precious giggles, and of course his smile- it was a wonder he hadn’t fallen for him sooner.

 He silently cursed his past self. Why couldn’t he have just let it go and accepted him into the group? Maybe this wouldn’t have happened in the first place- maybe Virgil would be able to like him romantically. 

 God, what he would give to be able to cuddle with Virgil… to hug him, to hold hands, maybe even kiss him…

 But he couldn’t.

 Because Virgil had rejected him.

 --

 Dumbass, Virgil’s brain told him. He huffed. What, he asked, am I not suffering enough already?

 His mind didn’t respond. Virgil groaned. This usually meant that he had to actually figure something out instead of just wallowing in his sorrow.

 Rude.

 He rubbed at his eyes, debating whether he should actually follow directions and think over things.

 Nah, he decided, switching onto his side as he elected to just sleep and forget about today.

 He likes you back!

 Psh, yeah right. The only way Roman could like him back is if he had been coming over to confirm his feelings or some shit. That was impossible.

 …

 Wait, he thought, sitting up. Wait. Maybe I am a dumbass.

 Because the more he thought about it, the more it became apparent that it actually wasn’t impossible. In fact, it might just be… plausible. 

 Holy shit.

 He stood up, frantically searching for his hoodie. He had to tell Roman, he had to. Before it was too late.

 Picking it up, he hurried over to the mirror. Fuck, he looked like a disaster. Hair askew, makeup nonexistent, eyes wide in panic. At least he hadn’t cried- crying, Virgil, he could be crying. Go, hurry!

 Whipping open the door, he hurried down the hallway. Passing Patton in the kitchen, he gave him a nod as he ran.

 “What are you doing up?” Patton asked, a cup of water in his hand. “You should be going to sleep.”

 “Can’t-” Virgil huffed out, stopping for only a few seconds. “I have to go- gotta- clear something up.”

 He left before Patton could come up with a response.

 --

 “Roman,” he whisper-shouted, frantically knocking on the door. “Roman!”

 The door opened, revealing a tired Roman. Virgil noticed with a pain in his chest that his eyes were red from crying.

 “What?”

 “I meant it,” he rushed out. “I meant it- the whole ‘gay eyes’ thing. As stupid as it is, I meant it.” Roman’s eyes widened.

 “I did- but I thought you were gonna reject me- so I said it was a joke and I know, I know, I’m so, so stupid, but say you like me back and I might just kiss you.”

 For seconds that felt like eons, Roman stayed silent.

 “Oh God, please do. I like you back, I have for a long time actua- mmf-!”

 Before he was even done talking, Virgil had grabbed the collar of his pyjamas- a red t-shirt, with a crown placed in the center because this boy just cannot stop getting more adorable- and pulled him forward.

 Their lips met, and Virgil’s heart melted. He moved his hands to caress Roman’s face. He felt warm- content, even, which couldn’t be true because he was Anxiety and Anxiety never felt content without a thousand other thoughts harassing him- but he was free from negative feelings, head empty as all he processed was Roman’s lips on his and that he was feeling loved.

 He slowly separated from the boy, gasping for air and fighting the urge to dive back in and kiss him again- because holy fuck he had kissed Roman!

 “I thought- I thought you didn’t like me back.” Roman whispered, voice cracking in the middle. Virgil shook his head vehemently. 

 “I- fuck no, Ro’, that’s impossible. I- fuck- you’re great, Ro’, I adore you.” 

 Roman broke out into a grin, leaning his forehead against Virgil’s.

“I adore you, too.”

[i8jisoo]

𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐘 𝐊𝐈𝐃𝐒 ⇉ skz with pregnant!reader 

changbin x reader | part three of dad!skz

↬ genre; fluff & angst for a lil bit woo

↬ warnings; talk of perinatal depression, cursing, n labor 

↬ notes; changbin babi 🥺  ALSO ITS CHANGBIN DAY WOOO ITS MY BABYS BDAYYYYY SO I HAD TO POST THIS |

u two had just freshly started an official, public relationship

ofc changbin was freaking out while he was chilling in the bathtub behind the curtain so u could pee on the test already

u two were looking at the line coming in, praying that there would be only o n e 😳

slowly the other line comes in, dark blue n clear alongside the other one

“holy fuck—“

“what do we do?” you asked, your voice wavering while setting the test back down

his hands cupped your face, giving u a soft kiss n hugging you

“we got this, we’re having a baby, baby!” he started to joke and yall burst out laughing while crying in the bathroom

the first few months were amazing

ur lil bump sprouted out n u two were so happy about it

changbin is just so attentive and excited about this pregnancy and his first born

u really couldn’t have been better with ur lil family that was starting to become realer with each day

u two r such bullies yall r like

“what happened? ur a softie now binnie!!”

n he’d say shit like, “well at least i don’t pee every hour on the clock!!”

he makes u cry one time n u use that against him everytime u want something bc he feels guilty >:)

cute lil things like asking the baby what they want to eat or talking to it before the bed

(changbin reads the baby goodnight moon one time and ur just so in love like wow 🥺)

he secretly talks to the baby when you sleep every night because hes waiting for when ur little bean will reply back with a kick or a hand

he is W H I P P E D for u n ur baby bump

nursery is already done at five months

he needs all of the boys to come over though to help him figure out the instructions 😳 these are co nfusi ngg

they notice how smiley n giggly he is when he talks about u two and looking at the finished crib hes just so proud

yall r so happy and content with ur baby that was an accident, but u guys are so happy this happened

but something changes within u

changbin notices your lack of interest in the pregnancy during ur sixth month

ur sleeping pattern was off n u would sleep for hours during the day and night

u were very irritable, not wanting changbin to cuddle with u or kiss u like he did everytime he came back from practice :(

u were always unhappy and always so moody, he just wanted u to be happy 🥺

he is so confused and worried ab u, some days ur not eating or some days u don’t even wake up in the mornings like u used to

sometimes— just sometimes he’d come back home to find u in the same spot, asleep

he’s so fucking scared when ur around seven months that he can’t hold it in anymore

“are—are you okay?” he questions u from the doorway, making u stop to look at him in the mirror

ur eyes were cold, setting down the towel u were drying ur hair with and leaving him by himself while heading into ur bedroom

“don’t you dare fucking walk away from me.”

ur s h oo k

he was really nice during the pregnancy everyday, super bubbly and kind so u were shocked to hear his upset tone

“i can and i will, i’ll just go sleep in another fuckin room.” u mumbled, changbin grabbing ur hands and turning u around to face him

u struggle for a bit while ur arguing with him and telling him to let go so u could go to sleep

“stop! i am your boyfriend, i am the only one who is going to care for you like this. i am the only one who is dying, seeing you like this. do you understand? we’ve been through seven months of this together, it was fine for awhile and now you’re fucking turning me away?”

hes shouting at this point, hes just so pissed after three months of not having answers and your attitudes and arguments, he cannot handle it

u start crying

hes quick to hold you, pulling u down to the bed so u don’t have to stand on ur tired feet anymore

“i don’t know what’s wrong with me.” 🥺🥺🥺

he insists u two will find out n u both will get thru this rough patch together

perinatal depression, they diagnosed u

changbin is so upset when he hears the doctors tell u

everything is making sense to him and he’s just so heartbroken he didn’t put two and two together earlier

he takes time off for the time being to make sure ur taking care of urself

hes watching u like a hawk but trying not to make it evident

the first time u ask him for a kiss, he gives u dozens

he hadn't been asked for kisses in so long he was so relieved 🥺

he’s constantly telling u how beautiful u r and talking to ur bump about how they have the best genes and their uncles

this man is a father already it seems

he is ur #1 face mask partner cause he buys the cute ones only because u deserve the cute ones that r ur favorite ◝(ᵔᵕᵔ)◜

cooking together is something that happens, not often but every once in awhile he will let u do small things

cut up some lettuce? sure! pour in the soup broth? of course u can! taste test his food? always.

he wants to make sure ur comfortable with him touching u or kissing u or what hes saying

“i love you.” he’s mumbling, quickly placing a kiss against the fabric of one of his own shirts that was worn by u and fit u like a dress still

he then goes up to ur cheek n presses a kiss to it, ur hand cupping his jaw and letting him kiss ur lips >.<

also u guys let out a quiet talk of pregnancy to the public, letting jyp release a notice on changbin’s absence from live-streams and posts with the boys

u two received a lot of positive feedback which changbin let u read the positive ones n loved when u smiled at each one

u were overdue by a week which was the worst, ur back hurt and u had migraines

u also were put on bed-rest for the next week before u could be inducted

u guys waited out the week and u got scheduled for an induction

the labor was really slow which sucked because u just wanted to hold ur baby already :(

rly intimate moments like chan just holding u n rocking u like a baby

u guys are given this position to move the baby down, your knees on the ground so u could kneel against the bed and changbin would hold ur hips n rock them

he just feels so bad he can’t do anything to help u with the pain 🥺

yall kinda vibing with the hospital food (idk bout yall but some food from hospitals smack chile)

“i just want to go home.” :(

u bet ur ass he scoots into ur hospital bed, holding ur hands n u just cry into his shoulder

he feels like his heart is being torn to pieces when he listens to u cry out of pain

his free hands holds your jaw, making u look up at him

“we’re almost done baby, okay? i know it hurts, if i could i would take your pain in a heartbeat. you are incredibly strong and i’m so proud of you. you just need to hang in here for a few more hours, yeah? you think you can do that?”

u give him the weakest smile ever but its better than nothing

u reach 10cm!!!

now the part that wasn’t fun was the pushing :/

u were hurting, u were tired, and u had been promised almost seven times that all u need was one more push but no matter what, it seemed like the baby wasnt budging

“the cord is wrapped around the neck, we need you to stop pushing. okay?”

ur too tired and stopping the pushing sounded good so u did as they said but when they told u they needed to actually reach in and unwrap it ur blood ran cold

u both were worried about how much u could take

u screamed, god it hurt and it felt like hours of them twisting but it was a mere minute

the labor progressed n there it was

“a girl!”

u two are like faucets or waterfalls

shes literally the perfect mixture of u both 🥺

he washed her hair n helped wrap her up in a blanket, giving her over to u for the first time

u both were just in love with her, she was absolutely perfect

he’s obsessed with her, taking in that baby scent, the scent of the light baby shampoo and the bit of baby powder that lingered throughout her onesie

her hair wooooww its so soft n fluffy

her little baby pout and her puffy cheeks

i can see him calling her bunny for awhile as a childhood nickname

he’ll just be like

“oh that’s my bunny!!”

weird look from u but ur heart melts while he bounces her in his arms n gives her some kissies and running his fingers thru her hair

he’s also rly soft, i don’t see him singing but i see him definitely whispering to her about how she’s gonna grow up and have the best life because thats his little girl

“ur gonna have eight uncles, they are crazy but it’s okay. u definitely lucked out on fathers though, i’m pretty good at lullaby's. u did get great genes too, u have a handsome daddy and a gorgeous mommy. we worked really hard on making u, please don’t hurt ur cute little face. u also have a storm coming, there’s a thing called stays, they are gonna adore you, i promise.”

omgomgomgomg jejejejeje im blushing at the thought of this i just adore dad changbin 

u guys may or may not be planning for another but it definitely would happen in a few years

©️ maysdiors 2020 :: all rights reserved. do not repost my work on tumblr or other platforms.

[binunus]

college bf!mj

a/n AH !!!! THE ANNOUNCEMENT OF THE ASTRO COMEBACK ???? APRIL 5TH ??? WHAT A TIME TO BE ALIVE LOVES !! i genuinely...do not know if I will be able to survive this month bc of them. 

(also i tried to get this posted on mj’s birthday but I’m so sorry a lot of shit happened and I had a ~bad mental breakdown~ and it’s just been rough out here but that’s a story for another time if any of you lovely beings wanna know hehe)

→ genre: fluff, smut

→ tw: mentions of cheating (in past relationships)

→ word count: 4.9k ____________________________________

KIM MYUNGJUN !!

A LIVING REINCARNATION OF THE SUN

this is gonna be so cute i just !! love him so much???

has his own apartment, but he honestly stays over all of the boys’ places so much that...he barely sleeps at his apt

major: vocal performance

his voice is literally honey

can probably sing higher than some sopranos in his major

so friendly, everyone who meets him loves him

mj just has a way of attracting people and making people comfortable around him

in short, he is – of course – the moodmaker

can turn anyone’s frown upside down

he’s down?? for like everything

an adventurous spontaneous type

has...probably failed a ged ed class once or twice before...

he’s not stupid okay! he just doesn’t really care about the classes that has no connection to his major

like will he ever apply calculus in singing? probably not

oh but professors can’t hate him, even if he just messes around during class

he’s just so kind and likeable

loves his boys aka astro

will literally do anything to make them smile, even if he’s had a rough day

as long as his boys are happy :’) he’s happy :’)

now how do you meet myungjun??

he’s in an acapella group on campus

he just has to be alright

he was the only freshman that got in during his first year

that shows how good he is :*

a tenor in the highly competitive co-ed group

spoiler alert, he convinces sanha to join, but that’s for college bf!sanha

myungjun is what me and my friends like to call: the solo whore

and it’s not bc he’s greedy for solos, he’s a real team player

his voice just happens to sound the best for most solos your group has??

you’re also in the acapella group

im not giving a voice part bc then that would put you in a binary category

so soprano, alto, tenor, baritone, bass, you pick love

anyway, you and myungjun were chosen to sing a duet for one of your competition pieces

and it was the key emotional piece so you and him had to be on your A games

you and myungjun were friends ofc, you had to be some sort of friends with everyone in your acapella group

but you never really hung out with him outside of rehearsal

well until you got this duet together

and you weren’t worried about it, mj was so fun and nice and an amazing singer, you had no doubt these extra practices with him would be a good time

and you were right! besides singing, you actually got a chance to get to know him and how goofy he really was

you’re pretty sure you always had an ab workout whenever you hung out with him bc of how much he made you laugh

about a month away from competition, you and myungjun were like best buds

literally a chaotic, iconic duo

the chemistry you two had during your duet was spectacular, your voices highlighted and bounced off each other very well

but! your leader had a little critique

“y/n, myungjun, that was great but...can you guys pretend to look...like in love? I get we’re all friends here, but if you can’t convey the emotion of the song in our performance, what’s the point? This goes for everyone, this is a song about how much you love your partner and would give them the world, we need to show that in our eyes and movements, even if you’re just singing ooh and woah for like 10 measures.”

you and myungjun decide to stay after rehearsal and practice the emotions you guess...

your leader had a point, good singing could only go so far

and for the first time, myunjun was a bit...? awkward??

you: alright so how are we gonna pretend to be madly in love with each other

he chuckles and shrugs: honestly I don’t know, look at me like I’m your boyfriend or something??

you: well, I hate my last boyfriend so that probably wouldn’t be a good idea

myungjun offering you a high-five: I hate...well I think I hate...my last partner too so at least we have that

you: how do you think you hate your last partner? are you not dating anyone right now?

he gives you a smile and like you notice it’s forced?? it’s not genuine or bright like the one he usually gives

mj: no I’m not dating anyone...my last relationship sorta traumatized me I guess. 

you: ...how did it traumatize you...? you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to myungjun

mj: ah *awkward laughter* well...I was sorta going through it my senior year of high school, stress from graduating and what to do with my life and all that shit, you know? I dated this person since my freshman year and I guess my mental health got the best of me during that time and they couldn’t handle it. We were planning on staying together throughout college and do long distance but I found out in the summer before starting college that they fucked my high school best friend behind my back...when I confronted them about it, the answer they gave me was that I was too down and preoccupied with my worries to notice about my partner’s needs...pretty fucked up right?

your jaw dropped, your eyes were bulging out at his story

you: myungjun what the fuck??? what college do they go to? I’ll pull up right now and beat their asses, I don’t know scream in their face or something! That’s fucked!

he’s laughing a little: thanks y/n, but it’s alright. You know, maybe I was too caught up in my own problems that I ended up neglecting my partner’s needs...I guess that’s why I’m always just trying to be carefree and fun now.

you: that doesn’t justify the fact that what they did to you was wrong. you should have never gone through that myungjun, it’s not your fault that you were going through it mentally, your partner should have been there to support you and understand your struggles, not cheat on you with your best friend. ugh I’m pissed for you. 

mj: I appreciate it y/n, but yeah love’s sorta a hard subject for me.

you nod in understanding

mj: well! that’s my traumatic breakup story, it’s only fair you share yours

you laugh: you’re right. Well I was dating this guy right when I entered college, met him at the freshman orientation, completely hit it off. I was so in love with him, we dated for about a year. And then last semester he broke up with me out of nowhere, said he wanted to focus on school and himself and that he needed a break from dating. I found out two days later that he started dating one of his suite mates and that on the night he broke up with me, they fucked. So love? also something hard for me.

mj: aww look at us both unable to find or relate to love because of past relationship traumas.

you hit his shoulder laughing: you’re such a headass

mj: I’m kidding! anyway, I’m sorry you went through that too y/n. it sucks and your ex is a dumbass for breaking up with you. Do you still have feelings for him? w-wait, you don’t have to answer that, was that insensitive?

you: you’re fine haha. Um...well...sometimes when I overthink things at night, I do miss him and I wonder what the hell I did wrong for it to end so abruptly because I was honestly really happy with him, but then I wake up in the morning and I hate him again. 

mj: you did nothing wrong y/n...and if you need to call me at 2 am when you’re overthinking and need some badass confidence knocked into you, I will be awake.

you smile and give him a hug: thanks myungjun...you know the same goes for you too?

mj: hm??? what do you mean??

you: you don’t always have to smile around me, especially if you don’t feel like it. Don’t repress your mental health, huh? It’s bad for the soul to bottle it in. I’m not gonna force you to share your darkest fears with me, I’m just saying that if you feel drained and wanna talk about it, I’m here to listen

myungjun pouts a little bit, he’s really touched?? it’s hard for him to share his troubles with others

like as much as he loves astro and is close to them, he doesn’t share his down sides with the boys as often as he should bc he never wants to burden them

myungjun just always thought it was easier to suppress the bad feelings and put on a happy act

but he couldn’t deny the weight lifted off his shoulders after telling you about his breakup

and maybe it was because your energies were on a different level lately, but he found it so?? easy?? to just vent to you after that

until competition, the two of you worked on faking like you were in love (basically imagining that each other was your favorite actor/actress or whatever, something like that)

it was good enough for the group to believe it lol

but what about the judges and audience hmmmmm

anyway, fast forward and it’s competition day!!

myungjun introduces you to his best friends aka the boysss aka astro

they come and support him for his competition ugh we love

you’re like smiling and hyper when you meet them

...has myungjun been rubbing off on you???

you: it’s so nice to meet you all! myungun always talks so highly of you

astro: huh?? you’re lying, myungjun hyung complimenting us???

and then they start messing and friendly bickering with each other and yes they’re teasing mj

you’re laughing bc it’s so cute?? you can see in their eyes and their smiles how much they really care about each other :’)

also astro, probably jin or eunwoo, maybe rocky: we’re sorry if m hyung has driven you to insanity these past few months of rehearsing

you just laugh as myungjun hits them: myungjun’s actually been like my partner in crime lately, so we’re all good :)

*cue the boys exchanging looks with each other*

you perform ah ha ha

alright, you were so used to thinking that myungjun was...idk kim soohyun or something bc mm chef’s kiss his acting...to get into the emotion of the song

but then during the actual performance you saw him as myungjun and like all the hard work and extra practices and late night talks came in full force and you were just...singing to him

and you notice how...handsome?? and charismatic?? myungjun really is...and the little sparkle in his eyes when he’s performing like...wow

and after your set, you’re just like shit, what the fuck was that??

your group doesn’t win though, you place second!

but you and myungjun get awarded best solo/duet of the entire competition

astro: ;)

your acapella group: ;)

the judges: ;)

alright so im a firm believer that if myungjun had feelings for someone, he would straight up tell them like balls to the wall full fucking send

after competition, the routine of school comes back. you occasionally hang out with myungjun outside of rehearsal

by occasionally, I mean once a week hangout with myungjun (and astro bc they started inviting you to their dinners)

and then one night – at midnight – he calls you like out of pocket and his tone is like completely serious

you’re a bit scared?? like: myungjun...is everything okay? did something happen?

mj: y/n...can I ask you something?

you: yeah, of course

mj: do you still think about your ex?

you: o_o um...honestly no, not really...why?

mj: well, if I’m being honest. y/n, I have feelings for you. And i’m not asking you to like me back or give me an answer straight away, but I just wanted to let you know. If you don’t think about your ex anymore, and if you think you’re ready...maybe you can consider thinking of me??

mmmmm kim myungjun you slick flirty dog grrr bark bark

and you know how he can just talk, and talk fast, so you’re still in the middle of processing this and he just goes on like

“sleep on it, y/n. I’ll see you soon for rehearsal, okay? good night”

like you don’t even have a chance to respond to him bc he just hangs up the phone

you think about it, of course you think about it, you’ve been thinking about it ever since competition

having feelings for myungjun has always been in the back of your mind since then

like did you notice that when you hung out with him, your heart would flutter if he said something sweet?? or if you two were a bit too close to each other?? 100%

but you didn’t know if either of you were ready for another relationship so it’s just been put on the back burner

at the next acapella practice, you find that your cheeks just flush whenever myungjun looks your way

the rehearsal went a bit??? weird?? like even your group noticed that there was a bit of a tension between you and myungjun

but of course, he goes up and talks to you after rehearsal ended and he’s like: hey...I’m sorry if my confession made you feel weird, I didn’t mean for that at all. If you want, we can just forget about what I said and stay friends! 

you just facepalm like: myungjun you idiot, I’m acting weird because I like you too. God, you know maybe the boys are right, maybe you need to shut your mouth for a little bit

and he whines like: hey!

but then he realizes what you said and he gives you the brightest smile: you mean it?? you like me back??

and you’re like shyly smiling now: yeah...I do...but do you want to take the next step?? I mean...do you think you’re ready for another relationship??

he gets like serious and he grabs your hand: not gonna lie, I don’t think I’ll ever be fully ready after my last one...but if there’s someone I wanna try it with, it’s you.

:’) kim !!! myung !!! jun !!!

dating myungjun?? the best thing ever

the cutest boy alive honestly

he has so much cute and goofy in him already with just friends and strangers

but with you, it’s increased tenfold

even you start to act cute and goofy after dating him

petnames?? bub and bubby

myungjun is not serious about a lot of things, but he is very serious about his feelings for you and your relationship

y’all take things at your own pace and he !! values !! consent !! even if it’s just like making out

he just doesn’t wanna mess things up with you :’)

the type of boyfriend to sing you to sleep ah !!! his voice is heaven alright

will be extra about pda in front of the guys to make them grossed out

and yes you get embarrassed, but myungjun’s too cute to scold

you get used to a lot of second-hand embarrassment dating him and being friends with the boys

but it’s just so endearing, you can’t even fight it

will swing your arms together when you’re out just walking

screams he’s so cute

you don’t really fight bc communicating with each other is one of the biggest things in your relationship

like if a disagreement or a situation comes up, you two are mature enough to talk it through and work things out bc you both already been knew what it’s like to be in a relationship that didn’t have full transparency

you do jokingly bicker about small things though (like think about how astro fights)

but he always ends fights by scooping you up in a hug and showering your face with kisses

loves kissing your nose

just imagine: you and myungjun cuddling and he just kisses your nose and you scrunch up your face and he just laughs and kisses you all over and you two end up giggling

will do anything to see a smile on your face, it’s the greatest sight to him

alright we been talking too much about how cute myungjun is

he’s also a hot motherfucker alright

the most attractive when he’s singing in your opinion

you know how charismatic he is, you’ve seen it first hand during rehearsal and performances

he’s very good at hiding his horniness, especially in public

but phew when you two are in private and myungjun’s in the mood

you can tell bc his eyes just get hazy and he immediately just starts kissing your neck

a very passionate lover, will prioritize your pleasure over his

sex with myungjun can go from being sweet and sensual, to fun and playful, to hot and exciting

by that...I mean that he is down to try every kink and position you can think of

as long as both of you are okay with it ofc

he’s one of the kinkiest members in astro im convinced

blindfolds? bondage? ice cubes? wax play?

you want it? you got it

he’s not into feet though, i apologize to my foot fetish lovers

his favorite position is actually missionary

myungjun loves being able to watch you and to see how good he’s making you feel

in missionary is when he feels the most connected to you, it’s just a passionate position

and yes he’s very vocal, so you betcha he encourages you to be vocal as well

will try to mess with you in a sense where say you two are hanging out with the guys, he’ll touch you and challenge you to not make a noise

and then he’ll snicker and wink at you if you even let out a peep

he’s a tease !!! like will edge you until you’re on the brink of cumming at least 3 times

myungjun has pretty good stroke game alright

very fluid with his hips, idk he just knows all the right spots to hit

praise...kink...that’s the tweet, need I say more

he’s into hair pulling !! both ways !! 

okay hear me out...myungjun fucking you and pulling your hair until your screaming and then after you both cum, he’s like: you hit a high f earlier bub! I almost wanted to harmonize with you but–

you: myungjun are you serious!

sex with him would always just be a fun time, like he’s hot and grrr it feels so good but there’s always a bit of laughing and joking around in the process

like he will tickle you before he puts his cock in you just to see the switch of you laughing to moaning

alright but shower sex?? he’s into that

and just the acoustics of both of your sounds in the bathroom?? it’s so filthy he loves it – and it’s easy to clean up afterwards

you bet that after any performance with your group, the two of you have sex, even if it’s just a quickie in an empty practice room or whatever

no shame, will kick the boys out or announce “we’re going to fuck bye!” if you or him get too horny in the middle of a hangout

im just gonna throw this out here...you and myungjun...mile high club

(your group competed in an acapella competition and the flight there...it just happened)

all in all, myungjun just wants to make you happy and feel good and smile, even if you two just finished an intense sex session

let’s get into the deep stuff though, you are the only person myungjun is comfortable with to not show a smile all the time

even with the boys, there’s always a small part of him that wants to just push through and be optimistic just so that they won’t worry

but with you, he knows that it’s okay to be sad and to be vulnerable :’)

when myungjun cries bc he’s upset :( fuck you cry too

he loves when you just hug him and stroke his hair when he’s stressed

very showy about your relationship, not bc he’s braggy, but bc he just wants to show the world how happy you make him and that he’s in love <3

the boys are so happy to see their eldest in love :’)

they don’t show it around each other, but they’ve come up to you in private and say sweet things like

“you make myungjun hyung so happy, he always brings joy to everyone but you bring joy to him, thank you”

im !! getting !! sentimental !!

the day you found out myungjun was in love with you was the day you met his parents

‘twas a bit spontaneous

his parents came to see one of your group performances and myungjun’s like holding your hand and leading you somewhere after you get off stage and he’s like “bub! these are my parents!”

you end up getting dinner with his family and yikes you were hella nervous, you were not expecting on meeting his parents right after your performance

not gonna lie, you thought he was leading you to the car for some post-performance sex

but they adored you, his parents could see how much you meant to their son ugh I cry

anyway, the L word

as you’re finishing dinner, myungjun’s all giddy and just like

“I’m so glad you came and watched mom and dad, the timing was perfect too! I wanted to introduce you to y/n for a while now and have you meet the person I love.”

and his parents are just smiling at you and saying how they’re so happy to finally meet you and how you have an amazing voice and to take care of myungjun and you’re !!! just !!! blushing !!!

as soon as you both got in the car after saying goodbye to his parents, he’s just like: hope I didn’t surprise you too much bubby, I didn’t know my parents were coming to watch until like an hour before we went on stage

you just give him a little smile: I was a bit caught off guard, but it’s okay. Your parents are so sweet, I see where you get it from bub.

myungjun: I can tell that they love you already! well of course not as much as I do, but with time I know they’ll come pretty close

and you’re blushing again, it’s the L word: do you mean it myungjun?

myungjun: that my parents love you?? of course–

you: no, bub...that you...love me?

myungjun: yeah...unless you don’t feel the same way–

you: myungjun! no, of course I do! I just wasn’t expecting the first time to hear it was with your parents

you two are laughing, ugh this man

after your giggles subside, he leans over from the driver’s seat and he just cups your cheek and pecks your nose: I love you y/n, thank you for reminding me what love feels like

you: I love you too myungjun

and then you two are just like sharing a sweet kiss in the parking lot of the restaurant before starting the drive back to his place

do you and myungjun make duets together for fun and post it?? yeah probably

you are the luckiest dating myungjun, the living breathing embodiment of serotonin and love

even when you two are older and out of college, he still gives you the same affection and attention and authenticity ugh he’s just amazing

im so sorry this was late but happy belated to our happy virus <3

3-12-21

[i-like-plan-m]

I love all your writing. You have a gorgeous way with words and a very well-thought-out approach to AUs. That being said, my favourite of your works has to be the "WWX is raised by another Sect." If you wanted to write something about WWX being raised by Baoshen Sanren, I would be all over it. ♡

Plus a similar prompt from @sabeanybabe! 

I know you explore the bloodline of Sanren a lot, but I would like to see more fics where everyone gets super freaked about wwx bc of this. Maybe in this world he grows up on the immortal mountain, and leaves briefly (I like fics where he can go back to the mountain bc hes family, esp. bc he might not have the Jiangs). I'd love to see the reactions of when comes to the classes w/o invitation bc his grandma, the immortal, sent him. wwx disrupts CR in a different and new way

Posted to Ao3: wander the edges of light

“Stand up straight,” Lan Qiren hissed at a fidgeting disciple. Lan Wangji did not turn around, busy watching the path with Lan Xichen at his side and half the sect gathered somewhat restlessly behind them. 

Not even the famous Lan composure could withstand a meeting with the legendary Baoshan Sanren, it seemed.

His could, he thought with some disdain. And xiongzhang was as poised as ever. But curiosity was contagious, and their disciples were on edge from the sudden dissipation of their wards and the ensuing announcement that Baoshan Sanren would be visiting to assist them with repairs. 

Without warning, Lan Yi had fallen into a frozen sleep in the Cold Pond Cave that few knew existed. Her strength had been the only thing keeping a certain dangerous item hidden, and their defensive wards had faltered without her for some unknown reason. 

The Cloud Recesses was left vulnerable with war looming on the horizon-- without their wards, they were open to attack, and they had few options that would let them repair the wards and still be prepared to fight. 

Instead of risking the sect further, Lan Qiren had sent a messenger to the foot of Baoshan Sanren’s mountain. A stroke of luck had one of her disciples notice the courier and agree to carry it to their master. The response was swift and brief: Baoshan Sanren would come to the Cloud Recesses for her former friend, and to protect their sect until Lan Yi was well again.

If she woke again. Lan Wangji had his doubts; he’d seen his ancestor’s place of rest, a stasis of some sort that kept her suspended in unconsciousness. 

A sudden warm wind ruffled the trees and sent a shower of leaves raining down on the path, concealing the bend just outside of the gates where the sect disciples waited. They spun in a loose whirlwind made up of a myriad of reds and oranges and yellows that marked the change of season.

The breeze died down, releasing the leaves with a sigh so they spread into a carpet of color along the wide dirt trail. And in their place a soft golden light glowed as though the sun itself had risen in the curve of the path, ascending solely to deliver the woman who stepped out of the light. 

Two tall, slender shadows flanked her, gliding serenely out of the light as though it were perfectly normal for nature to bend itself to their master. Lan Wangji focused on Baoshan Sanren but studied her companions-- disciples, perhaps?-- out of the corner of his eye. 

The man on the left wore white robes and a lovely, glittering sword on his back. He was very handsome, Lan Wangji thought uncomfortably, and turned his attention instead to the other disciple, who wore all black with little flares of red at his waist, his hair. 

A dizi was shoved haphazardly in his belt and his sword gripped loosely in one hand. Lan Wangji let his gaze travel from the disciple’s waist to his shoulder and finally his face, and felt his stomach drop to his feet. 

This disciple-- this boy-- was as beautiful as the other, only this one was grinning widely at him as their respective master and sect leader exchanged greetings. 

“--two of my disciples,” Baoshan Sanren was saying, and Lan Wangji tore his eyes away from the boy and tuned back into the conversation before he missed something important. “Xiao Xingchen and Wei Wuxian.” 

Wei Wuxian bounced in place on his toes, seemingly unable to hold still. He peered curiously around and Lan Zhan had to resist the urge to tell him not to touch when he leaned in to inspect the temporary wards they’d erected. 

“Shifu,” Wei Wuxian said after a moment. Baoshan Sanren paused her interrogation about Lan Yi’s unexpected collapse and turned to him, eyebrows raised in question. He gestured to their perfectly functional wards and made a face. His master only nodded once in response, like they’d exchanged a dozen words instead of one. 

Lan Wangji wanted to wipe the look off his face. His brother eyed him from the corner of his eye, probably the only one who noticed him bristling in reaction. It was enough to remind Lan Wangji to settle, to keep his composure even when this stupid, pretty boy whipped a small knife from his boot and started carving on their sect’s stone gate like a disrespectful heathen. 

His uncle remained silent, though he also scowled minutely at the faint scratching noises. 

“Wei Wuxian is especially talented with wards,” Xiao Xingchen said smoothly, stepping forward to draw their attention away from his sect brother. “He is adding to yours so that when we add our own power, it will ensure the Cloud Recesses is wholly protected until we can revive your ancestor.” 

“Lan Yi must have tied herself to the external wards somehow,” Baoshan Sanren said, peering over Wei Wuxian’s shoulder as he worked. She sighed. “She never did know when to quit.”

Lan Qiren frowned. “Why would she do such a thing? It took all of her power to contain the…” he paused, and turned to shoo his disciples up the hill. He waited until the last one was out of sight to continue. “The Iron.”

“My guess? It was either an accident, or something made her try to expand her protection past the cave. Speaking of which…” 

“We will take you,” Lan Xichen said with a smile, holding out his arm as if to help her up the steep hill. 

“Such a polite young man,” Baoshan Sanren said, patting him on the arm. ”A-Xian, pay attention, you could learn a thing or two from these Twin Jades.” 

“Hey!” 

Baoshan Sanren ignored him. “Zewu-Jun, is it? You are far too young and handsome to be stuck with an old woman.” She sent a sideways look at Xiao Xingchen, a wicked grin of amusement passing across her face almost too fast to track. “But perhaps my disciple would appreciate a tour?”

Xiao Xingchen, Lan Wangji noticed, flushed pink to the roots of his hair and said nothing until a bemused Lan Xichen turned to him instead. He hurriedly schooled his expression and gave a regal nod of agreement, allowing Lan Xichen to lead him into the Cloud Recesses. 

Wei Wuxian snickered under his breath, right up until his master added, “Lan Wangji, would you mind assisting my remaining disciple? He is somewhat of a trouble magnet.” 

“Shifu!” Wei Wuxian said indignantly. 

Lan Wangji very much minded, but he doubted there was a cultivator alive who could say no to Baoshan Sanren. “Of course, daozhang.” He saluted, careful not to let his resentment show. He didn’t want to be stuck with a troublemaking guest disciple with sparkling gray eyes and a teasing grin, but perhaps it was better that someone kept an eye on him. 

“Good boy.” Lan Wangji blinked, surprised at the warmth her praise brought. “Now, Lan Qiren, why don’t you take me to my old friend? It’s time we had another talk about her reckless behavior.” 

Lan Wangji frowned after them. 

“Don’t take her seriously,” Wei Wuxian said without looking up, the tip of his tongue peeking out of the corner of his mouth as he worked diligently on the wards. “She and Lan Yi were like… together all those years back. Or almost together; none of us can get a straight answer out of her, no matter how much we hound her about it.” 

Now Lan Wangji frowned down at him. “You should not annoy your Master.” 

“Why not?” Wei Wuxian chirped. “It’s fun.” 

“Fun,” Lan Wangji repeated, appalled. 

“Yeah,” Wei Wuxian agreed. “Sometimes she just threatens to toss us off the top of the mountain, but occasionally we can badger her into sharing a story or two.” 

Lan Wangji had no idea what to say to that. He settled for vaguely disapproving silence to cover up his complete bafflement. Baoshan Sanren was nothing like he’d expected, her disciples even less so. 

“There,” Wei Wuxian said, satisfied, and stood gracefully. Lan Wangji felt the sudden hum of increased spiritual energy from whatever changes he’d made. 

“Did you add your own power to the wards?” 

“Hm? Oh, no. Not yet. Shifu wants to determine whether we should focus our own power on defending the cave; otherwise we might be too spread thin, in case something were to happen.” Wei Wuxian twirled around to face him, head cocked with curious eyes. “Do you think something will happen?”

Lan Wangji paused. He knew, obviously, that Baoshan Sanren and her disciples were secluded on their mountain. They were removed from mortal, earthly affairs, so of course they didn’t know of Wen Ruohan’s bloodstained rise to power. 

And yet it still took him by surprise that they weren’t aware of the monster in the west, the armies he was amassing or the awful tension of waiting for the storm to break. But they had nothing to fear. Nothing to lose. Wen Ruohan couldn’t touch them, couldn’t break them the way he could the other great sects. 

“Yes,” Lan Wangji admitted. He’d been included in enough discussions with his brother and uncle to know that war was only a matter of time. 

“I guess it’s a good thing we came, then!” Wei Wuxian said cheerfully. “Hey, do you have any of that Emperor’s Smile here? We passed it on the way up the mountain; I’m thirsty after all that work!” 

Lan Wangji frowned deeply at him and pointed to the wall of Lan Sect rules. Wei Wuxian’s eyes went wide at the sight of it. “Alcohol is forbidden in the Cloud Recesses.” 

“Aiya, what’s not forbidden in the Cloud Recesses?” He asked, hands on his hips as he leaned back to find the top of the wall, so playfully theatrical about it he nearly toppled over backwards. 

“Silence,” Lan Wangji said stiffly. “Thinking before you speak.” He gave Wei Wuxian a pointed look, and despaired when it only made him throw back his head and laugh. 

“Alright, alright. I’ll behave.” Lan Wangji doubted that very much. “Let’s go find the others before all these rules make me break out in hives.” Wei Wuxian shuddered dramatically and eyed the wall of rules like they were contagious. 

Lan Wangji could think of several that would improve Wei Wuxian’s personality. Most of them were the ones about silence and not touching things that did not belong to you. Such as other people.

He turned on his heel and started up the path with Wei Wuxian on his heels. Lan Wangji’s gaze caught on Do not lust after others, and he looked away quickly, pretending he couldn't feel the burning heat in his ears.

[honeypirate]

I found you again

Daichi x y/n post time skip.

This is really long bc I didn’t want to do a second part. I could have split it up but that takes so long.

You were jogging in place, waiting for the crosswalk to tell you it was time.

It was early in the morning, your first day back in your hometown after college. You were on a run, re-familiarizing yourself with your old town before you were going to see if you could join the womens volleyball club in the community.

The light turned with the familiar beep you heard every morning walking to high school and you started to jog again, being back in town brought up many memories about volleyball and a certain boy you used to in love with.

After the last few years you wondered what happened to him. Back then you were too scared to confess your feelings so you didnt and you remained just close friends with him, after graduation you didn’t keep in contact, you went abroad to try and rid yourself of your feelings and, as much as you know, it worked.

You round a corner and smack face first into the back of a big man, and has you grunt and hit the ground on your butt you only realize that it’s a police officer “Sorry sir, I didn’t see you there” he turns around all concerned and you cock your head is it really him? It’s like your thoughts had summoned him.

“Sawamura?” His concern and confusion turns into a look of recognition “Y/n?!” He helps you to your feet “you’re back in town! are you okay?” You smile “yeah I’m fine! I’m sorry again for running into you. I was a little distracted.” You still were hella distracted seeing him now, all grown up and a police officer! you almost couldn’t believe your eyes. He was still as handsome as ever but you did prefer to see him in volleyball shorts, he had meaty thighs that you checked out many times in school.

“Don’t worry about it. I’m kind of glad you did, it’s really nice to see you.” And then he said the words you hoped he would “Hey do you wanna get together tonight for dinner and catch up?” (I guess I didn’t get over shit) you think to yourself as you smile and nod “I would love to.” You pull out your phone “what’s your number? I’ll send you a text so you have mine and you can call me later” he tells you his number and you send him your contact “I should get going soon, I’m meeting with the community women’s volleyball club to see if I can join.” He beams at you “I play with the men’s team sometimes when I’m not working” you laugh “that makes me so glad. I loved watching you play in high school. It was mesmerizing. I played on the women’s team in college so, I could probably beat you now” you wink and he laughs making you remember how much you love that sound “well we should see about that sometime” his partner gets his attention from the parked car on the street and he nods at him “I’ll call you when I get off okay?” You nod and he gets in his car with a wave. After all this time he still adores you. After all this time you still love his meaty thighs. You continue your run and mentally put together the outfit you’ll wear tonight.

Daichi gets off work and drives home, he takes off his belt and uniform, setting his stuff on his dresser. He’s nervous to make a phone call, nervous to see the girl he used to love because she’s an adult now and even more beautiful than he remembers. He’s nervous because he can feel his love for her coming back. He takes a deep breath and presses call before he chickens out.

You’re dancing to Girl on Fire in your bathroom, doing your makeup in your cutest pair of black matching lingerie. You didn’t intend to sleep with him, you knew he was a gentleman. You wore this for you, so you felt more confident.

As you belt out the chorus your phone cuts out the song to vibrate signaling a call and you start to laugh at your crappy singing voice as you pick up your phone. Your palms immediately start to sweat when you read his name on the screen. “Finally” you say and press the green button “Sawamura!” Your voice is excited and he laughs softly “Y/n. How are you?” He didn’t know why he was nervous to begin with, hearing you say his name washed away all of his nerves. “I’m good. Better now actually. How are you?” You’re smiling looking at yourself in the mirror “I’m better too. I was thinking we could get some dinner and I could meet at your place and we could walk together?” You hold in a laugh of glee “that sounds perfect. I’ll text you my address. When will you be here?” You’re swaying side to side in excitement “in an hour? If that works for you” you can hear the smile in his voice “yea that’s perfect. I can’t wait to see you again” you laugh shyly “I feel the same Y/n. I can’t wait.” Your smile hurts your cheeks a little “okay I’ll see you then” you say goodbye and hang up the phone and shout in excitement doing a little dance as you text him your address with a heart emoji.

You wear a pair of black skinny jeans and white v neck flowy blouse that shows just enough of your lace bra to be tasteful and sexy. You hope it doesn’t get too cold tonight bc a jacket would take from the look. You wear simple jewelry and a pair of black ankle boots with a heel.

Your phone in your hand and when it goes off you read the notification “knock knock” it says and then your eyes flash to the door when you hear him knock. You smile and shake out your limbs, you’re so excited and nervous. You open the door and look him up and down, black shoes, straight blue jeans, and a black button up shirt tucked in with rolled sleeve. He looks good. It’s simple and handsome. You can’t help but throw your arms around his neck “right on time” you say and he laughs and returns your hug “you smell amazing” he says when you pull away and you see he is blushing just a little “thank you! My favorite perfume, I’m glad you like it. You obviously check him out again “you look really handsome” he lets out a shy laugh “thank you y/n.” He looks into your eyes when he says “You look beautiful.” It’s your turn to blush and you shove your phone in your pocket and grab your keys as a way to pretend you weren’t as flustered as you were. “thank you” your voice is shy and you clear your throat before looking back at him and asking “Are you ready?” He nods and you exit your apartment and lock the door before putting your keys in your pocket.

When you get to the street he takes your hand in his and you smile and give his hand a squeeze. “So where we going Daichi?” You ask and he grins “I thought we’d get some meat buns from the old shop and then walk around all the places we used to go as teenagers.” Your smile widens “that is perfect!” He looks relieved “I’m glad you think so. I was worried for a second.” He laughs and clears his throat “so what are you doing now y/n? How long are you back for?” You’re absentmindedly rubbing soft circles on his hand with your thumb as you respond “I’m back for good. I’m actually a teacher at Karasuno and the new girls volleyball coach!” You exclaim, eager to talk about it because of how excited you were. It seems like his body relaxes a little at your words “that’s amazing y/n! I’m so happy for you! And to be honest I’m glad you’re gonna be back now, I really missed you.” You bump your shoulder into his lightly “I missed you too Daichi ” you say and you notice the blush on his cheeks. “So you’re a police officer now!” He laughs “yeah I am. I just want to protect people you know?” You nod “I understand that. You were always a good guy, I wouldn’t expect anything less.” You reach the shop and start to bounce on your toes “I’m happy to see you’re still the same in some ways” you quirk your eyebrow at him “when you’re excited you bounce and dance around. It’s the cutest thing I’ve ever seen” he gets you both a few buns and gestures to the drink selection “do you want anything else?” You grab a drink “thank you, and I never really noticed that I do that” you nervous laugh as you both head to the counter, Ukai wasn’t there and you were unsure what he was up to now, you didn’t ask the cashier.

When you left the store you thank Daichi for paying and then say “do you wanna go eat this in the school? It’s not trespassing because I happen to have a key. And I could show you my classroom!!” you smile mischievously and get excited and he laughs, how could he say no to you? “that sounds perfect” he carries the bag on one hand and takes yours in his other again as you walk up the hill to the school.

You unlock the school door that the staff can use, and make sure it locks behind you guys before leading him down the familiar halls. “I am going to be the first year home room teacher” you say as you unlock your classroom door and he walks in. When you turn on the lights it’s looks exactly like it did when you were in it. “It’s nothing to brag about because it looks exactly like it did when we were here” you laugh and he turns around smiling “i would have paid more attention in class if you were my teacher. I was too distracted by a certain girl who sat next to me” he blushes and it takes you a second to realize that he means he was distracted by you. You blush “oh hush Daichi we both know you were always top of the class, couldn’t worry about school if you wanted to focus on volleyball” he laughs at you calling him out and he comes over to you and tucks your hair behind your ear “that may be true but only because we only had like one class together a year.” You smile up at him “whatever you say” you dramatically roll your eyes and he laughs “bun time?” You ask and bounce on your toes again “bun time” he says and sets the bag down on your desk and handing you one.

You end up sitting on your desk with your ankles crossed, kicking them softly, as he sits in your teacher chair facing you. “So how was college? I heard you went abroad” you smile and nod “it was amazing. I met a lot of really cool people and my volleyball team was amazing. How was police academy? I’ve heard it’s tough” he nods and finishes chewing “it wasn’t too bad. A little hard at times but you know me. Top of my class” he smirks and you laugh.

“Daichi?” “Hmm?” He says with a mouth full “whatever happened to you and Yui? My mom said you two were gonna get married” he took a long drink before he sighed and said “it’s what everyone expected. It was the easy route in my life. But it wasn’t what I wanted. It didn’t make me happy. Hurting her sucked but it would have been worse farther down the road. My mom said you were going to get engaged too” the last sentence was quiet but he didn’t break eye contact.

You ran your shoe up his calf to his knee before you said “there was one I thought could be something, but he cheated on me with my best friend right before graduation. When I dumped him and it didn’t hurt I realized I didn’t even love him anyway. I was just trying to convince myself I was happy with him when I wasn’t. And honestly Daichi, I’m surprised you never asked me out in high school. I heard your team members tell you that you should once.” You took a bite of your bun and he almost choked on his, you smirked at his reaction as you chewed.

You raise your eyebrows and rub softly up his knee when he won’t look at you. He took a drink of his water and then stood, coming to stand in front of your knees. Your eyes widen in shock and you set your bun down on your desk beside you as he softly took your face in his hands, tilting it up, “y/n” his voice is soft and he smiles down at you and he’s gazing into your eyes with such care “y/n I should have. I should have that day they told me to. But I chickened out and I regret it, I went for the easiest route and it didn’t make me happy.” He let his hands drop from your face and in the same moment you grabbed them in your own, looking down at them when you speak “I want you to be happy most of all. When my mom called me to tell me you were dating Yui, I thought that maybe that was fate, that if anything, I could be happy because you were happy” you laugh a little sadly and rub you fingers across his but pause when he speaks “please, look at me” his voice was quiet and you immediately looked up into his eyes “there you are, I missed out on seeing your beautiful eyes for years now, don’t make me any longer” he smiles as he continues “I didn’t think I would get another chance, I thought for sure my mom would call to tell me you were engaged soon.” He reaches up and runs his fingers through your hair “never did I think you’d come crashing into me again” you laugh, feeling like you were dreaming. He leaves his hands where your neck meets your jaw and rubs his thumbs softly across your skin giving you goosebumps.

You caught him off guard when you opened your knees and smirked at his look of shock when he fell forward a little into you, just close enough where you could softly connect your lips with his for a second. His eyes widened before they softened, a smile on his lips as you slowly and softly ran your hands up his chest to his shoulders then landed on the back of his neck playing with his short hair, your thighs squeezing him closer to you.

“Are you going to let me get away again, Sawamura?” You smirk up at him as his hands reach down and run slowly up your thighs before stopping and squeezing your hips and you continue, “so many things we could have done in the past, but the past made us who we are now. What are you going to do now?” Your arms move down to wrap around his middle as you press your chests together grinning mischievously up at him, watching his cheeks blush as he smiles down at you. “Now that I’ve found you again I’m never letting you go” he kisses you hard and you melt into him. His tongue brushes the bottom of you lip and you let him in, your tongues circling each other and you can’t help it when you moan into his mouth.

“Troublemakers. Even as adults” Daichi flys backwards and you both look to see who entered the room. “Sorry Mrs. J.” You say at the same time. Your old teacher just “tchs” and walks off with her box of something.

You look back to him and after a few seconds you bust up laughing and he comes back and hugs you. “I didn’t know anyone one else was in the building!” You say and he says “I didn’t know she was still alive!” Which makes you laugh even harder. He was right though. She was like eighty when you guys were in school and now she’s still working here. “She’s gonna give me so much crap for this... I’m gonna be in trouble in the first day! Daichi you’re always getting me into trouble!” you laugh together, until you’re just gazing up at each other smiling softly.

He kisses your forehead and you sigh happily and let your eyes flutter as he hugs you close into his chest. “I’m sorry sweetheart” he says with a chuckle “for getting you into trouble” you laugh softly “it’s okay. I always love the trouble we get into. I’ll choose it over everything” you say quietly and he pulls back, tucking your hair behind your ears and kisses you softly again.

Suddenly you get an idea “Hey! How about we go play a little volleyball?” He laughs at the cute sparkle in your eye “Let’s go” he says and gives you a small peck before gathering things and throwing away trash.

You get outside and then you pull him into a heated kiss before taking off running towards the volleyball courts laughing, his foot steps and laughter following you. You reach the courts and he pushed you up against the door kissing you again. You pull away laughing, out of breath, feeling like a teenager again.

In the empty girls court you flip on the lights to find the net still up, you make a mental note to talk to the team about that.

You kick your shoes off and run off to get a ball from the closet “Okay, we’ll start easy so I can get a sense at where you’re at now” you say in your best “Captain Daichi” voice with a laugh as you bounce the ball up in the air on one side of the net. He’s on the other side of the net with smirk on his lips “bring it on” he looks so determined and he winks at you, for half a second you could have sworn you were eighteen again.

There was no way to really play one on one, so you decided that you’d bring the boundaries in so you’d have less space to cover and made it so you could hit the ball twice.

You had to admit, he played amazing even in jeans, you loved when his shirt would ride up when he’d jump and you got a glimpse of his stomach and the trimmed hair under his belly button.

He had to admit you looked amazing playing, you were so skilled and talented he loved to watch you. He also loved the lacy bra that would be exposed more when you’d receive.

You didn’t play very long, you won one and he won one and after that he couldn’t take it anymore and had to come around and kiss you. When you pull back breathless you stare into his eyes “what are you doing tomorrow?” You ask quietly and he brushes his thumbs across your cheeks “I have to work but I get off around six” he says and you nod “do you wanna have dinner? I’ll cook for you like old times” he laughs “you’re planning a second date when we’re not even finished with the first. I’d love to have dinner with you” you smile bright “good! Let’s stop by the shop again if they’re still open and I’ll get some ingredients on the way home.” He loves you so much he’s so happy to be with you finally

You clean up and close up the gym, taking his hand as you walk back down the hill to the shop. You talked about your plans for the girls volleyball team, implementing things you learned from college teams. At the shop you get the ingredients to make his favorite meal, shoyu ramen. He helps you carry the bags back to your apartment and helps you put stuff away. You walk him to the door and he pulls you into his arms again and kisses you, his hand on your cheek. When he pulls away you smile warmly “text me when you get home. Be safe baby” he blushes at your pet name and gives you another peck before saying “I will. Goodnight y/n” you close your door and lean up against it smiling. This was the last thing you expected when coming home but it was also the best thing that could have happened.