#i was talking with a friend recently about how worried we've both been about him and now i'm wondering if part of his recent quietness was

[jetblack4realz]

better - jj maybank x reader

summary - in between season 3 & 4 when they're building their lives with the gold and jj wants to get his act together for you

word count - 1.9k

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you were an artist. you always had been - whether it was drawing random doodles on the side of your worksheet in class, or sketching out the boys' names in fancy calligraphy, or coming up with a new layout and decorating scheme for the chateau when you deemed it bland (after john b refused to let you paint all over the twinkie), or even reworking furniture to flip and sell to make a few bucks, you were always artsy. it had begun to work out really well for them.

you designed the surf shop and all of poguelandia with the help of your uncle, who was a contractor by trade. you carefully curated the indoor and outdoor decor, picking out pieces unique to your friends and your story and making it a homely, pseudo-trendy little shop. only when that was finished and you had it running did you turn your attention to your guys' home.

jj loved watching you work. at the moment, you had sarah helping you finish up the paint for the main living room as you put a final coat of white on the shiplap accent wall you'd had jj install for you. you had him put a similar one in your shared room upstairs, but had yet to paint it, claiming that you'd rather have everyone's space finished before focusing on your own.

john b walked in the kitchen and spotted the boy seated at the bar, his fingers typing away at the laptop you had gotten from your parents when you were sixteen - you know, before you'd jumped ship and left home to find treasure with your friends. he grabbed a can of lemonade from the fridge as he furrowed his brows, coming up behind his best friend. he squinted his eyes at the screen.

"job listings? what are you-?"

the lid slammed shut on the computer, jj spinning around with a shake of his head.

"it's nothing, bro, okay? don't worry about it."

john b stared at him incredulously. "j you have a job here. we literally own a business now, what are you-?"

"outside," jj said shortly, standing and walking out the back door quickly, john b following after. you looked up from your spot in the living room, glancing back at sarah with a shrug once the boys slipped outside.

once they stood face to face again, john b gestured for him to go on. "so?"

"look," jj said with a sigh. "i know we've got this shop, and it's so great. but, i just keep feeling like it's all too good to be true. like, we have this money now, but it's all gonna be gone in a second."

"it will be if you're the one in charge of it," john b said offhandedly. jj sighed, running a hand through his hair.

"and i know that too, alright? which is why i need more," he answered.

"why? what's going on that you need more money - and money that's separate from us?" john b asked, staring the boy down in pure curiosity. jj's eyes weren't on him though, instead going through the sliding glass door that separated them from their girls right to where you were painting once more, bobbing your head to the rhythm of the music sarah had turned on. "oh."

jj let out another heavy breath. "you and sarah are like, married now, right? and i can hear you guys when you're talking about starting a life together and me and y/n have started talking about it too recently... just, when the time comes i want to be able to provide for us. i want to be able to go out and buy her a ring and a dress and marry her and never have her worried about finances ever again. we've both had to deal with too much of that."

"wow, jayj," john b breathed out, a soft smile pulling at his lips as he rested a hand on his shoulder. "i'm impressed. you're really pulling it together, aren't you?"

"i'm trying," he said with a sigh. "i've worked a lot of jobs before and i'm willing to do it again. anything to make sure she's happy."

"she'll be happy with you no matter how much money you make," john b promised as he smiled at him. "and we'll all always have each other's backs. even if when y'all decide you want to be together forever you don't have all the money you want, we'll help you buy that ring and that dress and get it done."

"thanks, jb," jj breathed out, but with the lack of a smile and the tenseness in his shoulders still, john b knew he wasn't going to be accepting handouts anytime soon. even if it was still shared money between friends and not just handouts.

you'd recruited him to help finish up a few things in your bedroom, managing to finagle a thrifted and refinished dresser up the stairs and below the tv you'd stolen from your old bedroom. jj began hanging curtains as you put both sets of y'all's clothes away, giving yourself one extra drawer for your extra clothes. he finished before you did, watching you with a smile as you tucked his shirts into the top drawer all organized by color, finally shutting it to be done with the task.

"last thing to do is the bed," you hummed as you turned to him with a smile. you moved to begin pulling the white sheets on, jj tucking the corners before you grabbed out the blue comforter with a simple white stripe pattern that alternated thicknesses. "i nabbed this from my grandparents - my nana always buys them when they're on sale for christmas and never does anything with them."

"i know," he said with a light laugh, grabbing the opposite edge from you and helping you pull it over the sides. "she gave one to me for my birthday once. didn't exactly know why."

"because that's what she had and she probably felt bad," you answered, laughing softly with him. you tossed the throw blanket kie had given you for your birthday a few years back onto the corner to add dimension to the look, finally placing the two throw pillows you'd let yourself splurge $30 on at kohl's at the center. you smiled, glancing around the room before looking back at jj. "there. our room is complete."

he sauntered around the bed with a grin, taking you in his arms and leaning in close to your face as he met your eyes. "our own room, with our things, in our house with our friends, on our land, with our business down the road by our boat."

"our boat?" you asked with a teasing smile, hands wrapping around his neck as he held you close to him. "it's mine too?"

"what's mine is yours, princess," he told you, pressing a short kiss to your lips.

"even the dirtbike?" you asked, a brow raised in jest as a teasing smile tugged one corner of your mouth up.

"well, sure. it's yours too, but that doesn't mean you get to ride it, sweet thing," he answered with an amused grin, pressing more kisses to your lips and jaw.

"our next purchase should be a car. or a truck. an old truck. i like old trucks," you told him as his lips trailed to your neck. he paused, bringing his head back up to meet your eyes again, though his grip tightened on you.

"me too," he mumbled. "but, i think there's something we need to buy first."

"what?" you asked, tilting your head curiously. he glanced his focus between your eyes, a soft smile pulling at his lips.

"well, actually... i already bought it," he hummed. you sighed.

"and how much was it?" you asked, raising a brow.

"does it matter?" he asked, raising his brows as his smile grew.

"jay..." you groaned, head falling back in exasperation. "we talked about budgeting-"

"hey, hey, hey, hold on," he said, pulling you closer to him and catching your eyes again. his smile was mischievous as ever as he turned slowly, turning you with him. "you don't even know what it is yet."

you sighed, a small smile sneaking its way onto your lips. "alright. what is it?"

"well, my first paycheck just came in from working with your uncle, and i thought i might as well get it now," he said, dragging his words in the suspense as you continued to eye him. he looked you up and down, his smile still wide as he winked. "have i told you how good you look in that dress?"

"every time i've worn it," you laughed. "reckon that's why you bought it for me."

"damn right," he said, pressing a quick kiss to your lips. you giggled against him before pushing him back, raising your brows.

"what is it?" you asked, almost eager now. "what'd you buy?"

surprisingly, he released you, stepping back as he shoved a hand in his pocket. his smile was wide, but his eyes softened as he brought his hand out in front of him. he breathed out his next words nervously; "i really hope you like it."

and then he was on his knee, and in his fingers was a dainty, gold ring with a small circle diamond on top. right there, in the room you'd just finished, the room you shared, in the house you and your friends rebuilt, with the shop you owned just down the beach - he was proposing.

"i really want to marry you," he breathed out with a nervous laugh, his fingers squeezing the ring tightly. "you're the love of my life, y/n. i really don't know what i'd do without you. being with you has been the easiest and best damn thing i've ever done and i want to be with you for as long as you'll let me. so, will you please marry me? i promise to provide for you and be there for you and-"

"yes," you said, beaming as you took his face in your hands. you laughed lightly. "absolutely yes, jayj."

he kissed you quickly, standing and wrapping his arms around your waist as he leaned into you. when he pulled back, he was laughing, causing you to let out a few giggles, wiping away a small tear at the corner of his eye. he kissed you shortly before bringing the ring to you, slipping it on the proper finger with a certain look of pride in his eye.

"it's uh, it's not much, it's not even a real diamond but i-"

"i love it," you cut him off, holding his hand as you glanced between him and the ring, beaming. "i love it, jayj. thank you."

he smiled, a breath of relief slipping past his lips as he gathered you in his arms again, spinning you quickly. he pulled back and pressed a chaste kiss to your lips again before stepping back away from you. he let out an excited whoop, grinning at you. he grabbed your hand and pulled the door open, dragging you with him down the stairs.

"she said yes!"

[hotasfahrenheit]

Onew!!!! ONEWWWWWWWW!!!! LEE JINKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII-

[lanadelnegan]

Hi I’m kinda shy about this one. So the reader has been traveling with dead city cowboy Negan for awhile and she’s liked him for a long time but she’s a virgin and she wants him to take it.

Don't be shy bb, I am a slutttt for dead city Negan. Basically, think of this as if you were in Ginny's shoes, but you're 18.

Our Little Cabin

Dead City!Negan x Reader

Warnings: smut, 18+, NSFW, virgin reader, vaginal sex, fingering, family death (reader's mom), reader seduces the hell out of negan, extreme age-gap (reader is 18, negan is 50ish), masturbating (both), masturbating in front of Negan while he refuses to touch you, daddy-kink, breeding kink, cuddling, pure filth

A/n: If you like slow burn, sexual tension and a "hard to get" daddy Negan, this one is for you. I promise one day I'll finally write a fic without daddy-kink, but today is not that day.

"Can we go home now, Negan? My legs hurt." I complain, dragging my feet lazily through the leaves.

He stops and sighs, resting his hands on his hips. I stop too and stare at him. That damn cowboy hat.. I swear he wears it just to tease me.. and it's working.

"Yeah, doll. Sun'll be going down soon anyway."

"Ugh thank god." My head falls back dramatically and he chuckles as we start our way back.

Negan took me under his wing a few months ago when some assholes attacked Oceanside, killing my family and everyone I know. I was lucky - if you wanna call it that - enough to escape. I ran into Negan in the woods and it's just been me and him ever since. I'm thankful for him, considering I never had a dad or father figure growing up. My mom was my best friend.. and now she's gone. But at least I have him.

I've grown attached to Negan over the recent months.. But something feels.. different lately. I'm not sure what suddenly changed over the last few weeks, but I've caught myself imagining things about him that I shouldn't. Even touching myself to the thought of him. I feel so guilty afterwards, but I can't stop. I've never been with anyone.. never kissed anyone.. never touched anyone. And my body is screaming at me for it. I can't even look at him anymore without imagining what he looks like under his clothes.

"Why're you so quiet, kid?" He glances at me as we walk.

Ugh, I hate it when he calls me kid.

I shrug. "Just thinkin'."

"About?"

"Doesn't matter." And I've convinced myself it doesn't. I'll never be with someone romantically, because for one.. it's the apocalypse. It's not like I have a school full of hot boys lined up ready to ask me to prom. Not that I'd give them a chance anyway. I'd probably be more into the teachers. And second, the man I want would never think of me that way.

"That's not true."

"You don't even know what I'm thinking, so how can you say that?"

"Anything you think about - worry about - matters to me, y/n. So, spill."

We finally make it back to our little cabin. We've been staying in it for awhile, stocking it with food and supplies. No one has found us yet.. It's kinda nice. But I won't get used to it. Because nothing good lasts forever.

I throw myself on the couch dramatically, as if our walk that we've done a hundred times now could've killed me.

"I don't know... I just, I feel like most kids - people - my age have already experienced more in life that I have."

"Like?"

"Sex." I blurt before I can stop myself. I look to Negan to see his reaction, but he's surprisingly not that alarmed. His eyebrows are raised as he studies me, probably more shocked that I actually had the balls to say that in front of him.

"Listen, I don't really feel comfortable doing the whole birds and bees talk with you."

My cheeks turn pink with embarrassment and I nod disappointedly.

"Sorry, it's just.. I - no one's really talked to me about it before. My mom said she would when I was ready.. but then she.. she.." I fight back the tears. I hate crying. You can't come across weak in the times we live in and I've been forced to be strong my entire life.

He looks at me finally and sighs, holding his arm out for me to come snuggle next to him. It's not the first time he's held me as I've cried over my mom. Won't be the last.

I bury my head in his chest, sniffling, as his hand rubs my back.

"Alright, kid. What do you wanna know?" He gives in, feeling sorry for me.

"Well, I know how it works, but I guess I just wanna know what it feels like." I feel him tense underneath me as he adjusts himself awkwardly.

"No boyfriends at Oceanside?"

"There were boys.. but none that I was interested in."

"You'll find someone when the time is right. You're still young."

"Well you don't have anyone, and you're.. not young."

"Jeez, kid. Thanks." He chuckles. "I did have someone. A few someone's actually. Lost them all to this cruel world." He admits and my heart hurts for him.

"Well, you have me now." I get more comfortable, laying my head in his lap and looking up at him. He shifts uncomfortably but eventually relaxes and even strokes my hair lightly.

"Yeah, I do. And nothing is going to happen to you. You're safe with me, doll." Butterflies swirl around in stomach, but I know he doesn't mean that in the way I wish he did. He sees me as a kid.. hell, as his kid. For a moment my heart sinks from jealously at the "someones" he mentioned. Lucky bitches.

"...Negan.. does it.. feel good?" I blush a little.

"Sex? .....Yeah, doll. It fucking feels good."

"Will you.. show me?" I stare up at him innocently and his hand abruptly stops stroking my hair.

He bends over, planting a kiss on my forehead. "Time for bed, darlin'." He pushes me gently up and off his lap before standing and heading to his room. The cabin is small but we each have our own rooms. His is the smaller one, right across from mine. He wanted me to have the bigger one.

I sit on the couch, feeling defeated and stupid. What was I thinking. I relax on the couch for a little longer, choosing to read a book to take my mind off what just happened. After an hour of barely keeping my eyes open, I close the book and head down the hall towards my room. I stop in front of Negan's door, peaking through the crack. He always leaves his door a few inches open just so he can hear if anything happens. My eyes widen when I notice the sheets are barely covering the lower half of his legs, revealing the rest of his body. His tan torso is exposed, showing his peppery chest hair, and his black boxers are low on his waist. I restrain myself from not jumping him right then.

I eventually make my way back to my room and change out of my clothes, throwing on some shorts and a tank top to sleep in. I can't get the image of Negan's body out of my head and find my hand slowly making its way towards my aching center once I'm finally in bed. I close my eyes, imaging Negan between my legs as I touch myself. I don't bother suppressing my moans, confident that Negan is fully asleep. "Mmm, Negan!" The sound of his name rolling off my tongue as I'm pleasuring myself brings me closer to the edge.

"Oh, Negan. Right there!" My door suddenly swings open and I snap my eyes open to see a worried Negan standing in my doorway.. still in his boxers. My hand flies out of my shorts and I throw the sheets over me.

"Oh my god, can you knock?!"

"I - you yelled for me." He says flustered. I notice the way his face reddens when he realizes what I was doing.

I gently pull the covers off me again and spread my legs a little.

"What are you doing, y/n?" He stands in front of me at the doorway, refusing to look at anything other than my eyes. That's okay.. I bet I can make him look at me down there. I like the challenge.

"What's it look like?" My bite the tip of my finger seductively at him before sliding my shorts to the side, completely revealing my pussy to him.

He glances down with a serious look across his face, like he can't believe I'm doing this. And neither can I. This is so unlike me, but I'm so desperate for him I don't even know how to control myself anymore.

The fact that he's still watching encourages me to continue. I use one hand to pull my shorts to the side and the other to slowly slide a finger through my wet slit. "I just wanna know what it feels like, daddy."

I study him closely, noticing the way his jaw ticks at the nickname. My eyes travel lower and I see his bulge through his boxers. It looks so big, but I'd be determined to make it fit no matter what.

My finger dips inside of me and I arch my back a little and moan, putting on a show for him. He stands with his back against the wall, refusing to move.

I start rubbing my clit slowly and get frustrated when he still isn't reacting. "Negan, please touch me."

He rubs a hand down his face with frustration. "Goddamn it, y/n."

"I just.. I need you. Please." I cringe at my desperate attempt to have him touch me. I need this man so bad it's embarrassing.

"I can't, baby."

"But you like watching me, don't you?"

I take it as a yes when he doesn't say anything and that's all I need before pushing myself over the edge. "Negan!" I cry out as my orgasm rushes through me. Even in the dark, I can see the lust burning through his eyes.

"Go to bed, y/n." He demands but I'm unable to read his tone. Is he mad, proud, annoyed?

I fall asleep at the thought of him giving in and touching me. Maybe if I think hard enough, I'll manifest it.. I heard that shit really works.

Negan's POV:

That girl is gonna be the fucking death of me.

She's been so flirty with me lately and I've been trying to ignore it. But fuck if she's not making it hard. Literally.. I'm hard as a fucking rock right now.

I refuse to touch my dick while thinking about her. She's thirty-fucking-three years younger than me for fuck's sake.

She's confused. She doesn't want me, and she damn sure isn't getting me. Apocalypse or not, it's still fucking wrong.

I drag a hand down my face and sigh. I shouldn't have watched her, but I couldn't look away. She flashed her fucking pussy right in my face and I just stood there.. watching her. Fuck me.

My dick is throbbing and I know I won't be able to sleep until I get some relief. "Fuck it."

I pull myself out of my boxers and immediately start stroking my dick. I think about anything but.. her. Fuck.. y/n. That pretty little wet pussy dripping right in front of me. The way she said my name when she came.

"Ahh, fuuuck. Y/n, fuck." I cum hard and fast and immediately regret it afterwards. Fuck is wrong with me.

I can't - and I won't let myself think about her like that again.

Y/n's POV:

I wake up before Negan and decide to read my book some more in the living room. It's a romance novel that I found one day in an abandoned car. I've read it four times already, but it seems to be the only romance I'll ever get in life, so why the fuck not.

"Morning, sunshine." Negan says sleepily as he walks towards the kitchen next to the living room. He grabs a handful of berries we picked yesterday and tosses them in his mouth before making me a cup full and putting them down next to me.

"Morning. Thanks." I say without looking at him.

He sits on the couch next to me. "You wanna talk about last night?"

My cheeks redden. "Nope."

"Okay, then I will." Great, here comes the lecture. "Y/n, I shouldn't have watched you. We both know that. But, I think you're just confused. It's just been the two of us for months now and you're all young and.. fucking horny and shit. But, us? It can't happen."

I stay silent, pretending to read my book.

"Seriously? The silent treatment? You sure did have a lot to say last night."

I remain stubbornly quiet, popping a handful of berries in my mouth.

"Y/n, I don't understand why you're upset right now. Talk to me."

"I'm not upset." I snap. "I'm embarrassed.. humiliated. I was stupid to think you'd ever be into me."

He sighs and I see his head drop out of the corner of my eye. "Darlin', if I was your age, I'd be all fucking over you. Trust me. Please don't be embarrassed, okay? You are hot as shit and any man your age would be lucky to have you. We can forget it happened if that's what you want." He holds his arm out again, and like always, I snuggle into him.

"I don't want to forget." My hand rests against his white t-shirt and I want so badly to slide underneath it and run my fingers through is tummy hair.

A moment of silence goes by before he finally whispers. "Me neither, doll."

I look up at him, my face dangerously close to his. "I love you, Negan."

His hand reaches up to caress my face as if he's scared to hurt me. "I love you too, baby... Just not like that."

He wipes the tear that falls from my cheek and my heart shatters in my chest.

One month later...

My feelings for Negan haven't faded; I'm just better at not showing them. We've been more touchier than usual... cuddling on the couch, holding hands when we walk, but nothing "inappropriate." We also haven't mentioned that night. It's like it never happened, which still hurts when I think about it.

I get done bathing myself off after dinner and slip into my usual sleepwear before crashing to the bed and pulling my book from the nightstand. I could quote every line in it by now.

I start to drift off right before a loud boom hits right outside my window, following a bright flash of lightning. I try to fall asleep, but every time I doze off, another loud boom jolts me awake. I toss and turn for an hour before deciding to do something I know I shouldn't.

I crack Negan's door open slowly, trying not to wake him and gently slip into bed next to him. I also may or may not have taken my sleep shorts off, leaving me in just my pink panties and black tank top. I ease underneath the covers and lay facing him. He's usually a light sleeper, so between the thunder and me sneaking into his bed, I'm surprised he's not awake.

I'm completely still for a good ten minutes, making sure he's still sound asleep before I make any movements. When he lets out a little snore, I slowly slide the blanket down off of him. I imagine myself reaching over and running my fingers through his thick chest hair. I keep sliding the covers down further and further, careful not to wake him, until I get to just below the waistband of his boxers. My eyes trail from the deep v in his abdomen to the black hairs peaking above his underwear and I let myself imagine what it would be like to touch him right now.. to slide my hand down his boxers and feel him. I've wondered how big he is for so long.. trying to steal glimpses of him through his pants when he walks, or catch him with the covers down while he's sleeping.

I decide to pull the covers slightly further down and my mouth gapes open at the sight. He's hard.. so hard that I can see the outline of him through his boxers as it threatens to poke through his underwear. My mouth waters at his size and I know if he ever put it in me, it would definitely hurt like hell.

After I've stared at it long enough to feel like a total creep, my eyes travel back up his body and I almost yelp when I see his head is slightly turned and his eyes are watching me curiously, as if he's been waiting for me to make a move.

"I - uh.. The thunder.. I got scared." I explain.

"Nice try, kid. Go back to bed."

"Negan, please. Just let me sleep here. Nothing weird, I just.. don't wanna be alone."

He sighs and that alone tells me he's going to let me. I hide my excitement as I turn over, facing away from him and snuggling into the covers. They smell like him.. musk and leather.. and the scent makes me practically feral. He's still on his back, but my ass is barely touching his side. It's hardly anything, and it's not like we haven't cuddled before, but the thought of my ass so close to him sets my insides on fire.

Another lightning strike hits outside his window this time and I flinch a little, not purposely meaning for my ass to press into him even more. He doesn't react and I wonder if he's already asleep.

"Negan...?" I say softly.

"Hm?"

"Will you hold me?"

"Y/n, you are seriously pushing it. Go to sleep."

a few minutes go by before another boom echoes in the distance and I jump a little again.

He sighs heavily and turns over, draping his arm over my waist and pressing his body firmly against mine. His dick is pressed against my ass, but it's not as hard anymore... and that hurts a little.

"Go to fucking sleep."

I hold his hand tightly against my lower stomach and embrace this moment with him. I want him so bad that I can literally feel my vagina throbbing. If it could speak, it would be meowing like a cat in heat right now. I close my eyes and imagine him sliding in me from behind. I get a little too lost in the thought and accidentally arch a little, grinding my ass further into him. I feel him grow to full length against me and the feeling is enough for me to squeeze my legs together, desperate for some pressure down there.

"Where the fuck are your shorts?" He says in a deep and sleepy voice.

I giggle as he breathes heavily into my neck before whispering again.

"What the hell am I gonna do with you, baby?"

"Touch me?"

"I'm already touching you, y/n. My fucking dick is basically between your ass cheeks."

"Not yet.. my panties are in the way." I slip my panties off my legs smoothly and discard them on the floor.

"Y/n." He warns but before he can tell me no, I'm bare from the waist down and pressing my ass back against him.

"Trying to give this old man a heart attack?" He chuckles deeply.

"I can try harder than that if you want me to." I tease.

"Fuck, baby. Go to sleep before I do something we'll both regret."

"Like what?"

"...Like pound that pussy so fucking good you'll never think about another man's cock but mine."

"If you love me, wouldn't you want to be the one to give that to me for the first time? Wouldn't you rather it be you than some asshole who doesn't care about me."

He doesn't answer, so I keep pressing him. I place my hand back on top of his resting against my stomach and slowly slide it lower towards my aching center.

"Don't start something you can't finish, darlin'."

"Oh, I'm very determined to finish." I spread my legs apart slightly to guide his hand over my wet center. His middle finger easily slides between my slippery folds and we both moan at the feeling.

"Goddamn. Fucking dripping for daddy. He growls in my ear before leaning up a little and pressing his lips to my neck from behind. I move my hand from his, letting him take control - finally.

His finger moves back and forth between my wet slit, gliding over my clit every few seconds and making me moan each time. His other hand slips under me and up to my neck, gently squeezing my throat.

"This what you wanted, baby?" He breathes in my ear and chills spread over every inch of my skin.

I nod quickly as I feel my orgasm build from just his light touch. He hasn't even put a finger in me and I'm already on the verge of tears.

As soon as his finger rubs tiny circles over my clit, I lose it.. moaning out for him.

"Thaaat's it, cum for daddy, babygirl."

"Negan!" I scream out as his hand goes from my neck to my mouth, muffling the sound.

"Don't need the dead hearing us, doll."

He kisses my neck once I've soaked his fingers and then brings them to his mouth.

"Mmm, fuck, this pussy tastes so good I might have to eat it everyday."

I turn around in his arms to face him. My hand goes up to hold his face and my fingers play with his gray hair. He kisses my forehead before meeting my gaze.

"This is so wrong, baby." He strokes my cheek gently.

"Can't be wrong if it feels this good."

He tilts my chin up to press his lips against mine. It's so much better than I ever imagined. He knows exactly what he's doing, and even though I've never kissed anyone, he takes the lead and I'm thankful for it. I moan into his mouth when he deepens the kiss, his hand gripping the back of my neck now. The feeling of is tongue in my mouth makes me clench my legs again, and I think he notices because his hand on my neck travels lower until it reaches the back of my thigh. He lifts my leg over his and his hand slides to my ass, squeezing lightly before his long fingers tease my entrance from behind.

His dick is pressed into me painfully and I can't wait any longer. I need to touch him. Feel him inside me.

I reach my hand inside his boxers and pull out his big, hard cock. I try looking at it under the covers between us.

"You've never seen a dick before, doll?"

I shake my head no and admire him. It's so perfect.

He closes his eyes as I stroke it. "Fuck. So innocent, baby."

He kisses my neck while I pull on him even more. "You sure you want this, baby?"

I nod. "Yes, please. I've been wanting this for so long, Negan."

He lines himself up at my opening, my leg still draped over his so that he's in between my legs.

"Once we do this, you're mine darlin'."

"I'm already yours."

That's all he needs to hear to finally push the tip past my opening. I've never had anything inside of me other than a finger, and the feeling of his thick head pushing through me and stretching my walls has my mouth falling open.

"Tell me to stop, baby."

"No, keep going. Please." I beg.

He slides deeper and deeper until he's buried inside me completely. He stays still, letting me adjust. and kisses me through the pain. A pain that feels so good. I kiss him back hard, scratching his back while grinding my waist pathetically against him repeatedly. I moan in his ear and give him the go ahead to start moving. He fucks me deep and slow at first, letting me get used to him.

"So fucking tight baby."

He growls in my ear and vibration of his deep voice sends chills through me again until my pussy flutters around him.

"Holy fuck, doll. Do that again."

I squeeze my cunt around him again and he lets out the hottest moan I've ever heard. Not that I've heard a man moan before, but I just know that his are the hottest.

"I won't last if you keep doing that, baby." He warns and the thought of him shooting his load inside me has my head spinning.

After a few more thrusts that have my eyes rolling to the back of my head, I feel myself reaching my orgasm again and hold him against me so I can grind against him and ride it out.

"Negan, Negan, oh my god.” I breathe out as I push myself so hard against him that my clit rubs against his pubic bone creating the friction I need to send me over the edge.

"Goddamn." He thrusts into me faster and harder. "Gonna make me fucking cum already, baby." He tries to pull out but you tighten your leg around him so he can't pull away.

"Cum in me, Negan. Please." I cry desperately. "I love you. I want all of you."

He kisses me hard before his hips come to a halt. He practically yells out when he shoots his load deep inside me. "Ah, fuck! Babyyy."

The sound of Negan cumming is even hotter than his moaning from earlier - I didn't think it could get any better but holy shit. We're both a tangled, sweaty mess while our hearts beat out of our chest.

We eventually fall asleep with our lips still touching and his softening dick still inside me.

I don't even worry about the possibility of what could happen in the future.. I know I'm safe with Negan.. Here in our little cabin. He gently strokes my hair as we drift back off to sleep.

BOOM. The thunder crashes outside again, but this time I don't even flinch.

"You're not scared of thunder, are you, doll?"

I smile against his chest. "...No."

The End.

Brb, going to take an ice bath.

[ribbonprincess]

hi 💕I requested a while back about the Drew starkey baby sitting fic. I was wondering if you would be able to do another Drew fic. Recently seeing him in Disneyland and hanging out w yk who has me feeling a little devastated. I would want something angsty with reader and drew.

note: so...I can't bring myself to write angst for shit- so I made very much angst to fluffy comfort! hope that's okay... also very short cause I couldn't find inspiration but I wanted to write something for it <3

⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡

You,Drew, Madelyn, Odessa and a bunch of her friends were hangunf out at Disneyland to celebrate her birthday. Everything was great,everyone was having fun,you were doing all the possible rides and you got yourself a cute little headband.

You were outside the souvenir shop with Drew since you both already bought a bunch of expensive trinkets and came out while the other finished since you wanted some air. "what are you thinking about?" Your boyfriend asks,analyzing you with furrowed eyebrows.

"what? I'm not thinking about anything why?" "you've glaring at the wall like it personally offended you" You bite your lip embarrassed as you move your eyes away from the wall. "just zoned out..." a white lie who couldn't hurt nobody,but your boyfriend saw through that,tilting your chin up so you were looking at him.

"is it because of Dessa? again?" "no...no" you shake your head as a shaky sigh comes out of your lips "maybe,I don't know! she's just been so clingy again- like she's hanging off your arm and everything even after you talked to her about boundaries." One of Drew's eyebrows quirks as he stares at you with an unreadable expression.

"sweetheart... we talked about this, I- she's like this,I can't change it. I get that it pisses you off,but it's her birthday today. I don't feel like ruining it" "how you're ruining her birthday by telling her something she already know and that she just won't acknowledge" Drew's sigh,running a hand over his face as he weighs his options "listen... just- you know I love yeah? you don't gotta worry about her"

"I know... but literally it looks you two are the couple while I'm just hanging with madie behind you two" "that's bullshit-" "it's not." You're both glaring at each other before he pulls you into his chest as he press a kiss to your head "we're okay,your little head need to understand that. I don't love her,I love you" You hum as you hug him back,swaying slightly as you remain there for a while. "I know...I just can't help it." "yeah,I know. Pinky promise me you'll stop worrying,if I liked her I would have been with her already. I won't play with you"

"hm..okay" you nod as you intertwine your little fingers together as Drew bring them to his mouth to press a kiss to them "super promise." "super promise" you confirm as you smile again "good,now c'mon...we've got more rides to do" he says as peck your lips "I love you... remember that, baby-okay?" Your lips stretch into a wide smile as you nod "hm,I love you"

[imhidingfromschool]

Professor- Nanami

WC: 3,329

TW: uhhhh n/sfw? use of words like doll and good girl? idk, kinda public, prof/student relationship

AN: This was a request I did on my wattpad, it isn’t proof read 😋

His warm hand slides up my shirt, warming my icy skin. I can barely hold in a moan as he grinds against my throbbing heat. His gentle eyes stare at me with such love that I can't help but give myself to him.

"[Y/N]?? Hello are you with us [Y/N]?" Your teacher Nanami Kento calls out, snapping you from your not so innocent day dream.

Your face burns red, no way you just had some weird sex fantasy about your teacher...mid-class?! You stand up from your seat and grab your text book, preparing to read.

"No, no need to read [Y/N], you just seemed...distracted. I have a low tolerance for daydreamers." He says causing your blush to deepen. You immediately sit back down, hearing some of your classmates snicker.

When the bell finally rings you begin to pack up your bag. Of course with your shitty luck you spill your pencil case and end up staying later than your other classmates.

Finally when you get your stuff together you head towards the door. You can't even make eye contact with your teacher, the embarrassment is too much to bare.

"Wait [Y/N] come here for a moment please." You hear Mr. Nanami call out. You stop in your tracks and slowly turn around. You mentally prepared yourself for the scolding you were about to receive.

"Yes sir?" You ask, still avoiding eye contact with him.

"I was just wondering if everything's alright? You've seem to be spacing out more and more often in class. I'm just worried about you." He says while placing a gentle hand onto your shoulder.

Honestly you were shocked, Nanami Kento was famous for his harsh punishments. You once heard a rumor that he kicked a student out of his class for dropping a pencil!

You stare into his warm eyes, they're so different from his normal piercingly cold ones. Fuck, this man has no idea what he's doing to you. If it wasn't so taboo you would have already made a move. You're both adults so what does it matter?

No! That's only the horny talking, you know you can't hit on your teacher! You think to yourself, trying to snap yourself out of your lewd thoughts.

"Ah I'm sorry sir, recently my parents have been going through a divorce and things have just been weird. Especially with my father, we've never been especially close." You say to him, technically it wasn't a lie, you and your father had always had a...strained relationship to say the least.

"Okay, just let me know if you need anything." He says and you quickly thank him before scurrying out of the room.

Your friend is waiting for you outside with a smirk plastered across her face.

"So how was getting chewed out by the infamous Nanami Kento. I'm sure that crushed your little crush on him." She says with a wink that causes your blush to return.

You made the mistake of telling your friend about your crush on your Professor. She constantly teases you about it.

"Actually he was super sweet and understanding. He said that I could go to him if I needed anything." You say with a soft smile, thinking back on his warm touch.

Later that night when you finally get to your dorm your friend plops right down onto her bed and passes out.

You envied her carefree nature, she was naturally so smart. You sat down at your desk and opened your textbook to your assigned homework. You sighed, your one little not so innocent day dream set you back way farther than you thought.

You were already struggling but now it felt like everything was in a different language! Nothing was making sense and your grades were already slipping.

You tapped your head against your desk, you needed to start getting more serious. Grades would be sent home soon and your dad would not be okay with any of these.

Slowly you open your lap top and start your intense study session. You watch several youtube videos and read several articles. After all of that you still felt like you only understood a fraction of the lesson.

Unfortunately the sun had already begun to rise. Panic immediately sets in as you realize you went the whole night without sleeping.

The next few weeks are a blur of trying to improve your grades but miserably failing. You try to ask your roommate for help but she's terrible at explaining.

"Just do it! I don't get what you don't understand [Y/N], just go through these four steps!" She insists but it never gets through your thick skull.

Finally the day has arrived, the day you have been dreading for the last few weeks. The day that your grades get released to your parents.

You knew your mother wouldn't care, she was always so supportive. She knew you were doing your best and that was enough for her.

On the other hand your father was cruel, always has been and probably always will be. He would send you harsh messages, and scream at you for the slightest failures. If it wasn't first then it was last to him.

Shockingly enough it had been two days since grades had been released and nothing. No messages, missed calls, or even voicemails. Maybe he had missed it, either way you were relieved. Until it happened.

DING

Your phone lights up with a message from none other than your father. You stare down in horror, you know the worst is about to happen.

[Daughter],

I'm not just disgusted; I'm questioning how someone I raised could sink so low. You've not only let me down; you've shattered any pride I had in being your parent. It's shameful to be associated with the poor decisions you're making. Your recent behavior is beyond disappointing; it's utterly shameful. Your choices not only reflect a profound lack of character but also make me question the values I thought I had instilled in you. Frankly, associating with someone displaying such a flagrant disregard for decency is nothing short of humiliating.

Revulsion,

[Your Father]

You stare down at the message in shock, he didn't even bother to use your name. You quickly run into a nearby classroom, trying to hide the tears that have begun to well up in your eyes.

You collapse, leaning against the wall and falling to the floor. Tears begin to pour out of your eyes as you reread the message. After that paragraph he continued to send more harsh messages, messages that you couldn't even repeat out loud.

CLICK

Your eyes shoot up to the door to your left. You thought you had stumbled into an unused classroom but you realized a little too late that you're in your math professors room.

"[Y/N]?" You hear a familiar voice call out. Your eyes widen in horror, it's Mr. Nanami.

Quickly you scramble to your feet. You try to wipe away your tears but there's no hiding the red rim around your eyes and puffy face.

"Ah I'm sorry, I didn't realize this was your classroom Sir." You say with a quick bow, swiftly walking towards the door.

"Wait-" He says, grabbing your wrist gently and spinning you around. You fall forward into his chest from the quick movement.

Your face irrupts into flames from the close proximity and you slowly take a step back. His face is unreadable and the two of you just stand there in silence for a moment.

Finally he breaks the silence."Are you okay?" He says slowly reaching for your face, rubbing a stray tear away with his thumb. Your eyes widen in shock, the man in front of you who is known for being cruel is being so unbelievably gentle.

"Mr. Nanami-"

DING

That one noise was enough to send you reeling. It was like you lost all control of your body as the grief washed back over you. Your head falls against his chest and he quickly wraps his arms around you.

"[Y/N] what's going on? Talk to me please." He says while rubbing circles into your back. It takes you a second to catch your breath and realize who arms you're in.

"Omg I'm sniff so sorry Mr. sniff Nanami!" You speak out between sobs, trying to pull yourself together.

"Don't worry [Y/N] you're safe, let it out." He says, pulling you back into the safety of his arms. You sob into his arms while he gently caresses your hair, the size difference between you two being incredibly present.

"Good girl, just like that." The innocent words caused your face to engulf into flames, your tears beginning to slow.

Eventually your sob comes to a complete stop and you slowly step away, begrudgingly leaving the warmth of his arms.

"I'm so sorry Mr. Nanami it's just some family issues, I really shouldn't have reacted like this, I'm so sorry." You begin to apologize profusely, embarrassment kicking in.

"It's really no problem [Y/N], I'm here whenever you need." He says with the softest smile ever. Your heart nearly skips a beat before you scurry away.

Over the next couple of weeks you avoid Nanami like the plague. Quickly leaving class as soon as the bell rings. The embarrassment from your pathetic actions have truly stared to get to you.

Unfortunately today you couldn't rush out as fast as usual. You were taking a math exam when the bell rang, and you hadn't finished.

"Ah, sorry, Mr. Nanami I didn't finish." You say with an adorable pout.

"I'm staying after school today, if you'd like the come finish it later." He says, glancing up from his desk briefly to address you.

"That would be great, thank you Mr. Nanami!" You say with an enthusiastic smile, trying to ignore your pounding heart.

Finally the time has come, your last period has ended and it's time to head back to your math room.

Your heart is practically leaping out of your chest, just you and Nanami, alone together. Considering the fact that there's also a near by basketball game the school will be practically empty.

knock knock

"Hello Professor? It's me [Y/N], I'm here to finish my test." You say sheepishly, the door slowly opens and you're met with Nanami gazing down at you.

The two of you just stare at each other for a long moment before Nanami clears his throat, stepping aside. You thank him before heading inside and sitting at your usual desk.

He gives you your test back and the two of you sit in comfortable silence as you work through the unanswered questions.

"Shit" You huff under your breath. You couldn't remember the equation you had to use for this specific word problem.

The way it was worded was similar to another equation. You knew it wasn't that but you just couldn't for the life of you remember what it was.

"Hm?" Nanami hums out, standing over your shoulder, watching your struggle against mathematics. You startle slightly, you hadn't even heard him stand up.

"Use the Pendulum Formula." He whispers as if someone else was in the room, someone waiting to bust through the door and yell at him for giving away answers.

You look over your shoulder, making eye contact with him. He was so close you could practically feel his breath on your face.

The tension was so thick you could practically taste it. His eyes on your lips and yours on his, you knew it was wrong, but was it really that bad?

Within seconds his lips are attached on yours. Your arms fly up, desperately grabbing at his hair, pulling him impossibly closer.

You don't even notice as he picks you up off of your chair, seating you on his desk. Your to focused on him, and the taste of his sweet lips.

Neither of you could get enough, your legs wrapping around his waist, him grinding against your clothed pussy.

Begrudgingly the two of you pull apart, gasping for air. His head falls onto your shoulder, arms tightening around your figure, you were so small compared to him, practically caged between his arms.

"W..We should stop." He huffs out, but you knew that was the last thing he wanted, you could tell from the large bulge rubbing against your inner thighs. He wanted this just as badly, if not more than you did.

"I know, but I really don't want to." You say, tightening your grip on his hair and pulling him back into a sloppy kiss.

His hands roam your body, sliding his warm hands under your shirt, sending shivers down your spine.

His hands take little time making their way up to your breasts, pulling your bra down but not off. Leaving your breasts exposed to the cold air, your nipples immediately hardening.

You don't just sit there idly while he toys with you, you're making quick work of his belt. Quickly undoing it and unzipping his pants.

You slide your hand inside, against his clothed heat, still being protected by his underwear.

The two of you pull away from each other once more, though this time it's for the sole purpose of undressing. Immediately you reach for the hem of your shirt, yanking it up and over, leaving your perky nipples on complete display.

He groans at the sight, barely being able to focus on the small buttons that line his shirt. You take pity on the man and help him out.

Your breath nearly gets stuck in your throat as you watch him take off his shirt, teasingly slow. His chiseled body on complete display all for you.

Gently he clears his desk, gently pushing you down on the now cleared area. He hovers over you, so large you can't even tell that he's still standing.

He starts with your lips leaving feather light kisses down to your jaw, your throat, and your collarbone. When he gets to your breasts he pauses for a moment before kitten licking your right nipple.

Your legs squeeze around his waist at the feeling, letting out a moan that sounded more like a squeak. His right hand comes up, sliding across your thigh all the way up to your left nipple, making sure it's receiving the same attention.

It was heavenly, but it wasn't what you wanted, no needed what you needed was him, all of him.

"P-Please Nanami, I w-wanna feel you." You barely manage to squeak out, moaning in between syllables.

He unlatches from your chest with a pop before moving back up to kiss you. The kiss only momentarily distracted you from his quick fingers.

You felt your belt loosen and your pants unbutton and in what felt like a mere second you were just in your panties.

He pulls back to take a look at you, completely flushed with you bra unceremoniously pull down, your arm placed on your forehead and you pretty pink panties with a noticeable wet spot.

Fuck he could almost cum just from the sight of you. You watch his every move, desperate for him to touch you, anywhere at this point.

He wanted to take his time, he wanted to make love to you, show you that he really did care about you and this wasn't just some one night stand, but after seeing you so desperate for him he knew that'd have to wait for another day.

Swiftly he slides his underwear down, allowing his dick to spring free, practically slapping his stomach. The tip was flushed red, precum practically drowning out.

Carefully and slowly he aligns himself with your entrance, practically teasing you as he slides himself through your folds a few times, mixing both of your fluids together, creating plenty of slick.

You reach up, wrapping you arms around his neck, pulling him down into a passionate kiss as he slowly, painstakingly slowly enters you.

The two of you pant and mewl into the kiss, both completely blissed out from the feeling. Your warm velvety walls are sucking him in so nicely, you're so fucking tight he can barely handle it, and fuck he fills you up so nicely, the stretch feeling more pleasurable than you could've imagined.

The two of you take a moment to catch your breath before he begins to move, but it's not enough. He's going to slow, to sensual, what you need is for him to fuck you, have you seeing stars.

"M-More, fffffuckkk, Nanami harder please." You moan out, squeezing around him.

"F-Fuck, whatever you say Doll." He says and the nickname only causes your heart to flutter and your pussy to beg for more.

Oh and does he deliver. He grabs either side of your hips, holding you securely in place as he pounds into you. When he finds your prostate he practically abuses the squishy area.

He's groaning and huffing above you, trying his absolute hardest to hold out, to not cum on the spot from your warm walls.

As he feels his release approaching one of his hands snake down to rub at your throbbing flit. Your legs wrap around him, somehow even tighter as you let out a whiny moan, pleasure hitting you.

"F-Fuck, I'm almost there." He groans out and he can tell you are too, he can tell by the pulsations, your pussy practically sucking him in deeper.

Without any warning he pulls out and you whine, your hole grasping at nothing. The empty feeling making you whine out in disagreement.

He doesn't make you wait long though, plunging two fingers inside of you. Mercilessly fingering you and practically abusing your clit with his skilled younger.

He has you cumming in mere minutes, but the two of you aren't done yet, no he still hasn't cum. Without even letting you catch your breath after you intense orgasm he pulls your practically limp body off of his desk and onto the floor.

You sit down, staring at him with glazed eyes. Your mouth practically watering at the sight of his dick, it's practically crying for your help.

You spare little time, wrapping your soft delicate fingers around the base and gently licking the tip. He groans, "fuck please, don't tease me."

You smile at his politeness and decide to listen, taking him in your mouth. He's huge and you're practically choking but it's exhilarating. Your heart is racing and your pussy is dripping from excitement.

Your hollowing your cheeks, humming on his dick, swirling your tongue around the tip. You're giving this man the sloppiest fucking head ever and he's enjoying every minute.

Gently intertwining his fingers into your hair and practically fucking your throat with his cock. "Fuck just like that, who's my good girl? You're doing so good for me baby."

When he starts to twitch in the back of your throat you know he's close. That only encourages you to speed up, bobbing your head up and down, staring up at him through tears, not breaking eye contact for even a second.

That was the last straw, he felt something snap and he was gone, shooting warm streams of milky white cum down your throat. You're practically choking on his cock but that doesn't stop him from holding you in place.

"You can take it for me, I know you can, you take me so well princess." He groans out as you work him through his orgasm.

Finally he releases your hair and you slide him out of your throat with a pop. Quickly he leans down to pull you up and into a tight hug.

You return without hesitation, leaning your head on his chest, but he wasn't done. No this was just the beginning.

He gives you a moment to regain your composure before he's bending you over his desk, ass out and ready to be fucked.

[pinchinschlimbah]

Been thinking a lot lately about Kyo's hair.... Obviously, elaborate hair was a major part of the 90s and early 2000s vkei movement with Dir en Grey being one of the iconic groups in that regard, and I even read something (unconfirmed?) that before Kyo's career took off and he was roadie-ing for other bands, he was in charge of helping them do their hair, and there is video I've seen of him doing backstage staff members' hair in vkei style for fun. Of course, as Dir en Grey moved away from that era, they dropped the performative hairstyles and went for a more western metal look for a while. Theres an old interview from the Arche era in 2014 where Kyo talks about his choice to shave his head at that time, saying he felt that having to care too much about his hair was just getting in the way of his performance and it was nice to not have to worry about it, and he didn't see himself ever having long hair again because it was too bothersome. While up until recently that last part has been true, in the past decade he's gone back to playing around with his hair a lot in color and style and it's felt pretty clear that he has been moving more towards re-embracing using visual appearance to make a statement and add to the performance rather than considering it a distraction. I've been particularly fascinated by what's been going on with him the past year- he shaved his head again, but this time it feels different. The lack of hair is no longer intended as neutral, but something to build on top of- both with him gradually covering his whole head in tattoos, and the experimentation he's been doing with attached hair extensions. The early iterations of this were just a few strands, but he's continued to play with this concept making it more elaborate and giving it more character. I found it really compelling that for the European tour this past March with the two different shows back to back, the Uroboros look which had more feminine/androgynous vibes had long hair extensions, even longer than his vkei era hair! Whereas the Withering look, which was typically a more masculine presentation, often had shorter extensions rather than just keeping his natural bald head, or for the couple shows he was bald he was doing skeleton makeup so that the baldness became an intentional part of the character. Both were constructed characters on top of the neutral base person, and each had their own worldbuilding rather than the feminine being a put-on costume and the masculine being the neutral default. Around that time, I was having a conversation with a friend about the parallels between Kyo's hair extensions and drag artists I follow who've done very similar looks in the past. I made an offhand comment about how now that Kyo has (at least for the moment) committed to being bald with the choice to tattoo his head, how long before we'd see him wearing full wigs in Sukekiyo since that that's been going in an increasingly draggy direction? And lo and behold, a few months later for the next Sukekiyo shows Kyo was wearing not just a couple hair extensions glued on a bald head, but full custom constructed full hairpiece that covered the whole front half of his head, with bangs, pigtails, etc. Having the neutral base to start with and giving himself the freedom to build characters on top of that base rather than hesitating to make statements with his appearance out of fear it would distract from the music or come off as inauthentic, gives him the opportunity to build even more distinct and captivating characters for each band than he ever has before and express each band's worldview even more fully. I'm very excited to see what happens for Androgynos, whether it'll be a continuation of what we've been seeing lately, or the start of a whole new era!

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA for blocking my suicidal friend?

TW for suicidal ideation, mental health.I know this sounds bad but hear me out.

I (25F/NB) met F(26M) in January 2017, a few months after I started university through a mutual friend, and we quickly hit it off. We started dating a few months later. We split near the end of 2021, but aside from a few awkward months right after the split, we've stayed friends. We've both seriously dated other people: F had a girlfriend, A(mid-20s F), for a little under a year, and I've been dating my boyfriend, H (30M), for about 9 months.

Throughout the time we were dating, F and I had a few problems. Money was a big one: he would borrow money a lot and not always pay it back (either when he said he would or at all). He currently owes me about £8000 that he borrowed for uni. For most of the time since he borrowed it he hasn't been in work, so I haven't been pushing the matter. One of the last straws for our relationship was when he bought a brand new PS5 and lied to me about it when he had recently borrowed money from me.

The other big one was his mental health. F has been dealing with poor mental health for about as long as I've known him, but he refuses to do anything about it. He often talks about how much he hates his life and how he should just kill himself. He often punched himself in the head or punched walls when he was upset, but he refused to admit that this behaviour was unhealthy. He wouldn't go see a therapist or doctor, or speak to anyone except me. Once, when I was visiting family, he became upset about something and I was worried he would hurt himself, so I asked a mutual friend to check on him. He refused to let the friend in, and got very angry with me.I wanted to break up with him sooner but he'd often tell me I was the only good thing in his life, and I was scared he'd kill himself if I left him. We eventually broke up near the end of 2021. Fast forward to this summer. In August, A broke up with F and F had to move back in with his abusive parents. He initially asked to stay with me but I said no (I live in a tiny flat, I can't afford to financially support another person and to be honest I'm just not comfortable with it). I later changed my mind and offered him my sofa when I realised how bad the abuse was, but he declined.

Also in August, I found out my grandmother was dying. I went to see her with my sister and brother-in-law, and the same day received a message from F venting about his life. I replied with: "Hey I'm kind of dealing with something right now can you talk to someone else? I don't really have the emotional bandwidth rn"When he asked what was up, I told him my grandmother was dying. He expressed his sympathies, and told me that his stuff could wait. He sent me the following message four hours later: "I think I'm going to kill myself""I've totally ruined my life, I've got nothing except daily torture from my parents". Again, this is four hours after I'd explicitly told him I don't have the capacity for it. I spoke to my sister and brother-in-law (28F and 30M) about it and they both said I should block him.

In September I started a new job (I recently qualified as a teacher) which has been very challenging, exhausting and intense. My grandmother died at the end of September, so the past few months have been hard for me. He knows all this, but he keeps sending me all these messages about how much he hates his life and how he should just kill himself.

Early October, I was added to a group chat between A, F's ex, and a mutual friend Z. A told us that F had sent her an email that was essentially a suicide note. I called F and made sure he was okay, and passed that along to the group chat. F was angry that, as he perceived it, we'd been talking about him behind his back. He didn't speak to me for a day or so but quickly went back to normal.

At the end of October, the day before my grandmother's funeral, I woke up to a message that was essentially a suicide note. This was not the first time this had happened. I had a panic attack, though I'm not sure whether that was due to the message or imminent funeral. I send him some messages saying that I didn't want to receive these kind of messages unless it was actually something I could help with, that he wasn't respecting my boundaries and that the friendship had become entirely one sided. I told him that I didn't want to block him but I would. He seemed to accept that, but this morning I woke up to another suicide note message. After verifying that he was still alive (he is), I started writing this ask. I feel bad, but I'm so tired of doing all the emotional labour. I have my own shit to deal with and i'm not his therapist. WIBTA if I blocked him?

What are these acronyms?

[evermoresversion]

hi! I just recently came across your fics and I’m loving them! I wanted to ask for something with steven conklin and a fem!reader, i was thinking maybe something that starts with angst like maybe she overhears him talking about how annoying she is and clingy but in the end it was all a misunderstanding and he makes it up for her or something.

Anyway if it’s inspired in any taylor swift song it would be even better! Thank you for all of your fics they’re amazing!

PS| Sorry if you can’t understand something, I’m Spanish and English isn’t my first language😞

MISUNDERSTOOD, STEVEN CONKLIN.

A/N Oh, don't worry, babe, English is not mine either. Thanks for the request. <3

PAIRING Steven Conklin x Fem!Reader

TW/TAGS A little bit of angst but fluff at the end.

SUMMARY You overheard a conversation Jeremiah and Steven were having, but him asking about you earlier and made another comment lead to a misunderstanding.

REQUESTS ARE OPEN | STEVEN'S MASTERLIST | MASTERLIST

The music was pretty loud at the party Taylor and Belly had forced you to go to.

All of your small group of friends was there, so all the more reason they said 'you should go'.

But you didn't want to, you didn't like it at all.

But you decided to give them the luxury of your presence. That same afternoon Taylor helped you and Belly to choose what both would wear, the blonde said that y'all had to be the trio of hot friends.

She used the word 'hot' quite often, and sometimes you made fun of it.

"Oh shut up, you look super hot."

Anyway, you loved her just the same.

Already at the party, it had been at least an hour and your glass was empty, so you went to the drinks bar to pour some beer into it.

"So you and y/n are something?" Jeremiah asked Steven, upon hearing your name you decided to stay and listen a little longer.

"Oh yeah, we've been together for a couple of weeks."

"And what is she like? That is, in the relationship."

"I understand you." He laughed taking a swig of his beer and then looked at Jeremiah. "Super clingy..."

"Are you going to drink something?" a boy asked you while you were still at the drinks bar.

"Oh, no, I'm sorry."

When you listened to Jeremiah and Steven's conversation again, you were surprised by his words.

"Yes, it's annoying but it's not something I haven't been able to handle until now." and then they laughed.

You frowned listening to him, did he think you were annoying?

You left there as quickly as you could towards the stairs of the porch of the house.

On Steven's side, he started to worry when he didn't see you anywhere.

"Jere, I have to go, I have to take y/n home."

"Yes, of course, see ya, be careful."

"You too."

And then he started looking for you throughout the house until he left it and saw you on the porch.

"Ah, there's my girl." He stood in front of you so that he could see your face. But you didn't even look him in the eyes. "What happened?"

"Do you think I'm annoying?" you asked quietly and looked at him to hear his response.

"What? No, of course not, why do you think that?" He sat next to you and you sighed, running your hand through your hair.

"I overheard your conversation with Jeremiah, not on purpose, but I overheard you."

And then that conversation came back to Steven's mind and he relaxed at the memory.

"No, he asked me if a girl who has been in love with me since... forever, I think, wasn't annoying, even you've seen her try to flirt with me, love."

You looked at him from the corner of your eye, playing with your hands and you remember that boy interrupted you, it could have been in that small period of time where you didn't listen when Jeremiah said that.

"Come here." He murmured opening his arms, you approached him and he immediately hugged you. "I love you."

"I love you too." You smiled as he rubbed your back, placing a kiss on the top of your head.

"Let's take you home." He stood up offering you one of his hands and you took it to get up. He guided you to his car and the entire way to your house he didn't let go of your hand.

disclaimer ── evermoresversion © 2023.

[orion4ever]

Author's Note: I was inspired by a recent post of mine about Cliff's protective nature towards MC and how he reacts when Baxter and MC reunite and get back together. I believe Cove keeps Cliff updated on EVERYTHING!

This would take place after the events of the Baxter DLC, The timing is up to you!

Pairing: Baxter Ward x MC

Cliff Holden was currently unboxing some new shipments When he heard the store's front doorbell ring a few times.

He emerged from the backroom to see his son and his group of friends. He instantly had a huge grin on his face as he welcomed them.

"Hey, Bud." He greeted nonchalantly, earning a small 'Hey' from his son.

"Oh! Hello, Terry and Miranda! It's always nice seeing you two" he greeted warmly, earning himself an enthusiastic "Heeyyyyy!" from Terry and a small wave from Miranda.

"And of course, MC and-" he paused when he saw the new face standing next to MC with a sheepish smile. He looked familiar but he couldn't put a name to the face.

"Oh! Hey! It's always nice seeing a new face, I am Cliff" he greeted with a grin.

The 'stranger' smile grows a little. "Hello. We've already met before...I was staying in the condo next to yours five years ago..?" The black-haired man said. "Baxter Ward?" He added.

Cliff deflated for a minute. He had remembered, now that Baxter hiked his memory. Cove had updated Cliff on the entire series of events about Baxter and MC.

He was told how the eccentric monochromatic tourist had gotten together with his long-term neighbor and son's best friend.

He was also told about how the same eccentric monochromatic tourist had dumped MC at the end of the summer and vowed to never see them again.

Baxter had always been very neighborly and amiable towards Mr. Holden himself, always greeting him and giving tidbits about his plans for the day.

But...

He couldn't forget how heartbroken MC was over the breakup. It always seemed like they had some unheeded feelings that will most likely never be addressed or explained; leaving MC confused and sad over it all.

Like Noelani and Pamela’s first reaction to the reappearance of Baxter; His excitement melted in the California heat.

“Oh.” Cliff mumbled.

He then walked to stand behind the register took out a long box and continued to talk with everyone.

“So , What brings you back in town, Baxter?”

“Well.-“ Baxter was then promptly interrupted by the sound of a box opening and a metal clanking sound hitting the counter.

Cliff casually unboxed a box of fishing harpoons while staring right at Baxter.

“Well, we wanted to visit the shopping district again to relax.” Baxter finished , he had his usual grin but it looked a tiny bit wobbly.

“Uh-huh,” Cliff said, placing another fishing harpoon on the table casually again. “Ignore me. These are new shipments.” Cliff reiterated, with a slightly forced smile.

Not wanting to stay in this awkward and slightly threatening silence, MC speaks up.

“Mr. Holden , me and Baxter are back together; don’t be too hard on him” they said both in a jokey and genuine sense.

Cliff chuckled a little. “I won’t , don’t worry!” He smiled , shining the threatening harpoons.

Miranda giggled a little , either out of nervousness or whatever was going on. Terry being the social butterfly he is bounced right back.

“B-man invited everyone to lunch so we gotta head out soon!” He stated , giving Baxter a friendly pat on the shoulder.

“Yeah. We just wanted to stop by , Dad” Cove said with a smile. Cliff nodded to that. “I appreciate you for thinking about your old man, Cove.”

“Your not old , Mr.Holden. Your only like 49.”

“Pfft-, 49?!? MC. I promise ,I am not that old” he cackled lightheartedly. Before he started waving the group off. “You kids go on now, You don’t have to stay to keep me company.”

As they all began exiting , he stopped Baxter. “Uh , Baxter. A word?” He asked , a serious tone in his voice.

Baxter didn’t say anything but he did move to properly look at the older gentleman. He had a abased frown.

“I don’t want any funny business with you,” Cliff said, crossing his arms. “MC has been a massive support to both Cove and myself for a long time. It would be sad to see them be heartbroken again.” He continued, he wasn’t joking around.

Baxter Ward stood up straighter and said. “Mr. Holden. I assure you that this time, I am here to stay.” He said, putting a pale hand to his purple button-up.

“I understand your concern. I haven’t made a good impression by doing that years ago. I am sorry for that. I truly do care for MC and I want to be with them.”

He finished it off with a slight bow of his head.

Cliff unfolded his arms and gave Baxter’s shoulder a strong but not painful squeeze. “Good. I hope we can become good friends then.”

Cliff then let Baxter go to join the rest of the group with a small hopeful smile.

[gracies-baby]

I Love You, I’m Sorry

(Gracie Abrams x Reader)

——————————————————————————

"Gracie, I would never cheat on you!" Y/n yells with tears in her eyes. She had come home from work late causing Gracie to have some assumptions.

"How can I know that for sure? You've been coming home late a lot recently. How am I supposed to know you're not sleeping with your co-stars behind my back!" Gracie yells back as she paces around the room.

"You need to trust me!" Y/n replies as she tries desperately to reason with the brunette.

"Well, I don't think I can!" Y/n's eyes widen in shock and sadness as she stares at the brunette.

"Then what are we even doing? This isn't working Gracie. We can't have a relationship if you don't even believe that I wouldn't cheat on you" Y/n says as her voice cracks before she grabs her bag and runs out of the house. Gracie quickly follows behind her and sees her get in her car before driving away. The brunette sobs as she walks back inside and slams the door behind her.

—

"Who are you talking to?" Audrey asks when she sees her best friend smiling down at her phone.

"Y/n. We've been talking lately. I think we might actually be cool now" Gracie replies as she puts her phone away.

"Really? I'm surprised she even wants to speak to you honestly. You did really fuck it up" Audrey says as shock fills her face.

"Trust me, I know I did. I'm surprised she didn't send someone to kill me" Gracie picks up her drink and looks out the window on the boat.

—

Eventually, Gracie and Y/n run into each other, seeing each other for the first time in two years. Gracie stands, hiding in the crowd of the rowdy party while watching her ex-girlfriend get a drink from the bar.

"What are you looking at?" Audrey asks when she notices her best friends silence. When she doesn't receive an answer, she follows the brunette's gaze.

"Oh... does she know you're here?"

"I don't think so. If she does, then she obviously doesn't want to see me" The brunette replies, downing the rest of her drink.

"You should go talk to her. You guys have been texting, right? You should try being friends again" Gracie shakes her head with a sigh before she sees a man begin talking to her ex. She sees the shorter girl try to move away from him, but he just moves closer, following her. Gracie glares at the man when he grabs the girl's wrist to try to pull her towards him. The brunette storms towards them, grabbing his arm and pulling him away from the girl she loves.

"Stay the fuck away from her, you dick" She growls at him as he sends her a glare.

"Who the fuck are you? Stay out of this" He pulls his arm away, making her stumble back. Audrey approaches the scene, pulling Y/n away from it.

"What's she doing? She's gonna get hurt!" Y/n exclaims with worry clear in her voice when Audrey pulls her to the side, watching Gracie argue with the man. Eventually, security kicks them both out while Y/n and Audrey follow the brunette.

"Y/n-" Gracie starts when she sees the anger in her ex-girlfriend's eyes.

"Why did you do that?! He would've killed you if he didn't get kicked out!"

"He was harassing you! I couldn't watch that happen!"

"I'm not yours anymore, Gracie! Just stop making everything about you! Please!" Y/n yells before storming away to her car, slamming the driver's door behind her and driving away.

"I told you she wouldn't want to see me" Gracie tells Audrey with tears in her eyes.

"The whole time you were arguing with that guy the only thing she was talking about was you getting hurt. Maybe just wait for her to ask for you" Audrey replies as she and Gracie get into the car before driving back to their house in silence.

--

Gracie thinks about her friend's advice for a few days before letting her heart take over her body. She gets into her car after lying in bed until 2 in the morning and drives to her ex-girlfriend's apartment. The brunette parks the car before knocking on the girl's door, waiting a few minutes before it is opened by the still half-asleep Y/n.

"Gracie? What-"

"Y/n... I'm so sorry. I know I was a dick. I'm still trying to kick that habit. But I need you back. Please. I'll be better, I promise. I'll stay out of your business, I won't call you all the time, I won't make everything about me, I'll do whatever you want. Just please take me back. I love you, I'm sorry" Gracie sobs in the doorway while Y/n frowns at her.

"Gracie, I love you too... but what you just described isn't a relationship. I don't want any of that. I just want you. But I can't be with you if you haven't changed these last few years. I'll be waiting for you though. I'll wait right here for you. Be sure to come back, Gracie. When you've changed" Y/n replies with tears running down her face. Gracie lets out a shaky sob before nodding and walking back to her car.

"Gracie?" Y/n calls out when the brunette reaches the car. She turns back with a hopeful smile.

"I love you, I'm sorry"

[twig-tea]

Cooking Crush ep 10: This Show Has My Whole Heart

I wrote about some of the things Cooking Crush is doing so well in my response to a recent ask, and so I'm particularly glad that episode 10 came through with a strong flourish to get us set up the last two episodes.

I wanted to call out a few specific things this episode did that are contributing to why it's working so well for me.

First, I want to mention that the reciprocity continues! Previously, we had Prem comforting Ten during a panic attack post adrenaline crash. In this episode, Ten comforts and supports Prem during his worries about Samsee and the competition.

Picking up on something else I've talked about before, this show is committed to its character's arcs. Fire is struggling with his sexuality and his desire to keep their relationship secret last episode led to the conflict between Samsee and Dynamite this episode. Fire showing up to support Dy in public, giving him affection, and using the petname Dy insisted on having is all evidence of Fy's increasing comfort with it. He's already said before he intends to tell his mother, and Dy has been clear he's not rushing him. The way Dy is so careful with Fire but also so receptive to and appreciative of what Fire is able to give warms my heart (pun intended). And Samsee and Prem seeing it and reacting supportively too, because they know what this means to their friend!

[The gifsearch is not cooperating but please enjoy this gifest by @gunsatthaphan.]

I also want to talk about how this conflict with Samsee hits Dynamite hard, and in the context of knowing he's lost relationships with his parents because of his sexuality, to think his relationship with Fire could have lost him a close friend must be bringing back up his feelings about being cut out of the lives of people he loves. However, it speaks to the strength of his bond with Samsee that even though Samsee is furious and not speaking with him, he does not kick Dy out of his apartment. Dy mentions that he didn't see Samsee the night before the competition because Samsee didn't come home (we find out later why, but I loved this subtle nod to the fact that unlike Dy's own parents, Samsee didn't abandon Dy when he made choices that hurt him. I AM IN MY QUEER FOUND FAMILY FEELINGS, FRIENDS).

Along these lines, Ten going to confess to Prem, noticing that these friends are having a moment, and quietly stepping away to give them space is such a good character moment for him, since previously he's been begging to be let in to their shared space even when Prem mentions he's concerned about its impact on his friends and their relationship. Ten's realizing he can't be everything for Prem, and it's better for both of them if he isn't.

That scene of reconciliation, the three friends re-establishing how important they are to one another, that got to me. And that the show prioritized it over the romance! I cannot tell you how much I love that this was an explicit decision the show made, to say 'no, this is not the time for a confession, this friendship reconciliation is more important right now'. And I love that the show gives us a solid, character-grounded reason for why Samsee reacted so strongly to being left out in the first place. We've been told Samsee has changed school majors 3 times, and it's been played as a joke as well as an explanation for why he's an older student. I love that we've now had the consequences of those changes on Samsee's friendships added to his story. Even a "joke" backstory has ramifications for the characters in this show, I am obsessed.

I also want to mention that I am loving what the show is doing with Samsee and Metha, two characters who are the "fuck-ups" of their friend groups, but who are also the most loyal and most supportive of them all. They conflict with one another around what that support looks like, even while they enable one another to continue to be the best friends to their respective besties.

Prem has struggled this entire show to use his words, and in particular he's visibly wrestled with how he can gracefully reject Chef Changma without putting his own career at risk. In this episode he manages to say 'I don't think that [a hug] would be a good idea', and he's ignored. Ten immediately steps in, but I wanted to highlight how big a deal it is for Prem to have said no to this Chef--who he's idolized, who is his mentor, and who is a judge of the competition he's in--in this moment.

When we do get to the confession, Prem continues to lead with action, and Ten continues to push him to use his words. I love so much that Ten never lets him get away with copping out of saying the words, since it's something we know Prem struggles so much with. This speaks to @lurkingshan's earlier post about how Cooking Crush shows us its leads are better thanks to their relationship (in the same way that Fire self-actualizing and being more free to be himself and express affection also speaks to this point).

Beyond character arcs, there's one other thing I am very excited for heading into episode 11 next week, and that's the conflicts in this show converging so brilliantly. So far, the show has set up a few conflicts: Ten's relationship with his father, the cooking competition, the bullies, Fire's relationship with his mother, and Chef Changma's interest in Prem. All of these have now been queued up to expertly converge as a single conflict in ep 11, based on the preview. With Changma's advance and subsequent punch being recorded and distributed (I'm placing bets that this was recorded by one of the bullies, btw), Ten's father once again steps in the way of this relationship that he sees as a detriment to his son. Prem also previously stated that he wanted to enter the competition in order to prove to Ten's dad that he has potential, so these threads were already starting to come together weeks ago. Even if I'm wrong about the bullies having been the ones to record that video, they're sitll in the competition as competitors. And of course Fire has promised Dy he'd come out after the competition, tying the last thread of these conflicts all together around this single event.

And this is what I mean when I say the writing on this show is so good. Because the characters are coherent and consistent and have clear arcs, and the conflicts are grounded in the characters, even though there are several threads, they come together easily and in a way that makes perfect sense and that work with the character arcs rather than against them.

The last thing I'll mention, because it's something I actually brought up as a negative to this show previously, is the use of non-linear storytelling. Cooking Crush has used non-linear storytelling several times, showing us a scene and then flashing back to what happened before that scene in order to fill in the gaps. This can be an effective storytelling tool, but it has to accomplish something in the narrative. The difference between unnecessary and excellently-deployed non-linear storytelling is whether or not there's a good answer to this question: What is the purpose of delaying this information to the audience, and how does that delay affect the audience understanding of what they're seeing? In previous instances, for example the kiss and then flashback to the full date, knowing that Ten and Prem kissed at the end of their date didn't add anything to the viewing experience of watching their date, and having seen their date didn't change my experience of the kiss. This is why I consider it an ineffective use of that technique.

In episode 10, however, we get the cold open that shows Ten joining Prem and Samsee in the competition, and then we flash back. Knowing Ten will be joining Prem and Dynamite in the competition helps to colour what we see about Prem and Dy trying to get Samsee to reconcile with them, as well as Samsee's absence. When we get to Ten stepping in, we have learned it was as much a surprise (and disappointment) to Prem and Dy as it was to us. Ten stepping in doesn't actually work, but it does give Prem the courage to ask if they can compete as a duo, rather than just letting themselves be disqualified without a fight. And we later find out that Samsee was so touched by the letter that he went to his hometown to dig for prawns and that's why he was late for the competition. [I also wanted to mention this because based on @respectthepetty's roundup post it sounds like the cold open was cut for the youtube version]

I lied, I have one more actual last thing, this one is obvious but I can't not say it: THANK YOU to this show for consistently queueing up the typical miscommunication fumbles that get so annoying in every BL (in most romance plots of any sexuality) and then saying NOT TODAY SATAN and having the characters choose vulnerability and honesty and bravery, and talking it out. Every time the show does this (and it's at least 2x per episode, no exaggeration) I feel a little more faith in romance writing restored.

ANWAY, TL;DR Cooking Crush continues making me so happy every week!

[ahamkara-apologist]

Oh thank god now that Echoes is finally out I can talk about the Faith-Keeper loretab

First off: I'm not really sure who it is exactly, but we've got a Hidden agent listening in on a discussion between Eido and the Spider about Eramis. If I had to guess, this agent is likely Ikora, since Misraaks asked her to look after Eido at the end of the Lost in the Light quest post-FS campaign, but we don't really get any clarification here. In my heart its Ikora, though.

First off: I LOVE the callback to Eido's shitty datapad security from Season of Plunder. Remember when she was recording her audio logs and Eramis just dropped in unexpectedly to talk to her behind Misraaks's back? Looks like she hasn't fixed her security breach well enough to prevent others from doing the same. Which is deeply funny to me- babygirl, your father is a Splicer. His whole entire job is being a top tier hacker!! You need better security than that!!!

Eido babyyyy, I'm not sure why you think you can blackmail a crime lord, but I admire your efforts! I'm not really sure what Spider is doing here, maybe moving closer to her? Either way I love how his whole 'fake caring' shtick got immediately dropped to the side as soon as Eido laughed at him. You're not winning any uncle points here, Spider. The note about Eramis having been given up by everyone around her, however? This is both a good and a bad sign. Good because it means that the forces of Darkness that got her into this whole mess no longer give a fuck about her and aren't there to push her into poor decisions again, bad because Eramis is historically notorious for making terrible decisions when there's nobody around to influence her anyways. Given the fact that she was outright suicidal the last time we checked in on her and that means that we have a limited time frame to get Eido to soften her up before she starts putting her neck on the line again (which has me very nervously side-eyeing Revenant; I don't believe that she would want to join with Fikrul given her prior experiences with the Scorn, but it can also go either way if she's pushed. Eido could convince her to give her assistance to prevent him from spreading Dark Ether...or Fikrul could sway her to look away from what he's doing by promising to bring back Riis with the power of the Echo)

Not gonna lie, my first reaction when I read the 'staccato clicking' noises coming from Eido was 'DID SHE JUST PULL A FUCKING GUN ON HIM??', followed by wondering if she was threatening him in some way- then a friend pointed out she was likely crying, which made me go back to reread and realize that the wheezing noises were coming from her, not Spider (in my defense, he's a wheezy boi). So, yeah, she's crying. Poor sweet girl, I've been there before. I know that Misraaks set Spider on her to try to set her straight (which is deeply funny to me- he must be desperately worried for him to have Spider handle her, of all people), but, well...it's the Spider. He's a crime boss. 'Gentle' isn't in his nature

This does give me great hope for an Eramis redemption arc in the future, though. Compared to everyone else we've faced recently, Eramis hasn't even come close to the level of awful that the Witness has done, and she's outright helped us in several instances. There's no reason why we can't try to form an alliance with her- the main thing stopping us is because Eramis herself doesn't think that she's worthy of redemption. If we can barter with Savathun- whose desires are ultimately selfish even if they were momentarily aligned with our own- then we can certainly assist Eramis, especially if it means getting the remaining Houseless Eliksni off our back and in a safe, guardian-free refuge of their own (WITHOUT being tricked into being pawns of the Witness)

Also- absolutely love Eido's little speech here. Her insistence on clinging to optimism is probably what made Eramis see Eido as the guiding light for the future of the Eliksni people, and in a way, it's perfect to fit the Traveler's motif of forgiveness in the Light. Makes me wonder if the theory that Eido is the Kell of Kells may be hinted at here, since it's Eido alone of all other Eliksni who refuses to give up on a person's ability to change for the better. Even Misraaks can't do that, despite creating House Light and its open-door forgiveness policy.

I TOO WOULD LIKE GREATER CULTURAL CONTEXT ON ELIKSNI NON-VERBAL COMMUNICATION. I wonder who EKS-443 is- I would love to harass them for more information on what certain Eliksni vocalizations mean. I'm so starved for more worldbuilding on their biology and cultures, I'm hoping this is a sneak peak into what we might be getting in Revenant.

But also. Uh-oh bestie. The Vanguard should probably keep their claws out of this if they want diplomacy to succeed, because Eramis is not going to be happy if we stick our soft little monkey paws into Eliksni business again. We're going to have to back Eido up but let her do most of the talking/persuading, or shit can go south really fucking quickly- just like trying to pspsps a wary old ally cat into the safety of a home after years of extensive abuse. Waiting with bated breath to see how this turns out!

[dead-lights]

the old guard: first day of school

I really like doing everyone-goes-to-high-school-together AUs and I've been working with Century Conflict-era sims recently, so what better way for me to get in the mood for my Simblreen renders than to send the old guard to Copperdale together?

We've got a full house - Tess, Ethren, Keisha, Inna, Elle, Vlad, Dillon, and Maria Volkov. I aged them down to teenagers, gave them teen ambitions, reset all of their powers, and moved them into the Price family's house. Don't ask what happened to the Prices.

As expected, Maria started with negative relationships with all of the vampires. Despite that, the very first thing Inna did when I hit play was walk over to Maria to start making jokes. Despite their initially negative relationship, they were friends by lunchtime. They both have the good trait - I think that really helped.

Inna's getting into photography, and Maria is happy to model for her.

I turned one of the bedrooms into a little lounge for them. I really like making study clubs, so I had Inna set one up. By the time they were done with their homework, almost everybody was on good terms, except for Vlad, who is Vlad, and Tess, who was practicing magic outside and missed all the fun.

The next morning was their first day at school. The game kinda bugged out a bit and only Inna got event goals (and only Inna had any performance increased from going to school) but I had no time to worry about that - while the other vampires spent the previous day exploring vampire lore and were able to buy plasma packs, Vlad decided to wait for a live meal. The first thing he did was ambush the janitor.

Apparently this awakened something within Vlad, because at that moment he stated experiencing the onset of puberty.

Poor thing.

The students filtered into class - with 8 teens from one household all attending school at the same time, they took up the entire classroom. Most of them made it on time, with Ethren slipping in just in time for class to start. Maria and Vlad, on the other hand, were nowhere to be found.

Maria, as it turned out, was pumping iron in the basement. She took her sweet time getting to class - she has the genius trait, so I guess she doesn't think she needs lectures. Still, she did make it to class, even if she missed the first half.

Vlad, on the other hand, was really struggling with the whole onset of puberty thing. He flew to the bathroom and tried to give himself a pep talk. When that didn't make him feel better, he decided, fuck going to class! and flew down to the computer room to troll teh forums.

He's going through some stuff, okay

Keisha, true to form, couldn't help getting a bit silly.

Though Elle and Dillon almost maxed out their relationship the first night (they stayed up playing chess while the mortals slept) Elle has a crush on Inna. A crush that seems to be causing her actual physical pain. Not sure if it's the agony of watching Inna beaming at her werewolf bestie or just the discomfort of all those teenage hormones, but poor Elle is not having a good time. She flew off to the bathroom to give herself a pep talk.

It was at this point that I realized that Ethren was in the bathroom stall, trying to go about his business. Normally vampire bathroom ambushes involve the vampire doing the ambushing, but ok.

Elle, I know you don't show up in mirrors, but Ethren can definitely still see you.

ok maybe he can't see you. dude just straight-up walked through her, washed his hands, and went to play football with Tess.

Vlad, in the meantime, decided it was time to learn to play the violin. Elle, who actually does know how to play violin, tried to be supportive of his efforts, but ultimately couldn't take it.

I don't think he blames her.

[dochkarauta]

jealousy jealousy

— my first little work in another language (i try :,) )

ships: carlando; loscar

tags: little drama, jealousy, happy end

read:

"i have new gossip)"

LN

"Oscar said they would break up with Logan because Logan is jealous of me lmao)"

LN

"god, you’re so lucky that you got me, Carlos."

LN

"you're great at eliminating the hardships of choice in my life, darling"

LN

"does Oscar give rise to jealousy?"

CS

"and I hope we're not talking about that McLaren video right now?"

CS

"exactly))) think about it: what kind of insecure idiot to be jealous of such a thing?"

LN

"although... yes, maybe Sargent has something to worry about)"

LN

"and what should he be worried about?"

CS

"you know, Oscar and I spend time together… all the time."

LN

"sometimes it seems to me that even more than them"

LN

"do Logan and Oscar live together, they’re not?"

CS

"outside of race weekends"

CS

"what makes you think that? I've never heard of it. Isn't Logan living in America now?"

LN

"he and Oscar have been living in the UK for the second year. before that, both lived somewhere else, maybe in America."

CS

"i’m afraid to ask, and how did you know that?"

LN

"I talked to Oscar recently in the paddock. and I read a couple of clippings from his interview."

CS

"and you spend so much time with him that you don't even know if he lives with Logan?"

CS

"it's strange that Oscar told you about their breakup, but didn't tell you about living together."

CS

"he said. in other words"

LN

"and I see his emotions, his irritation during the conversation. so something is definitely wrong."

LN

"well…"

CS

"and what did Oscar actually say?"

CS

"I'm telling you, Logan didn't like his answer to the question about the best teammate. Well, obviously, Oscar would have called me, why this stupid american drama?"

LN

"he would have named you because there are cameramen and people from McLaren sitting next to you, cabrón, make no mistake"

CS

"it doesn't affect the fact that I'm a cool friend and teammate in any way"

LN

"you should watch a few interviews with your teammate. he never calls you a friend when he talks with people unrelated to McLaren. I saw a clip from the show where Oscar lists close friends in the paddock, and there are at least two people in front of you, buddy."

CS

"you're kind of tense."

LN

"you're being disgusting, Lando."

CS

"you are deliberately provoking Oscar, thereby trying to hurt Logan and somehow interfere in their relationship. and this is not the first time. So with Alex and Russell, isn't that right?"

CS

"who am I provoking, darling? I don't care any of the listed ones at all. and Oscar could easily name his greatest american boy if he wanted to. I just asked a question that will be interesting to the audience. It's a damn show, who's offended by the show?"

LN

"we've known each other for so many years, and you've just started to get stressed out by my behavior. before that, what? oh, right, you could easily get distracted by a pretty face and close your eyes to everything"

LN

"but now there's a other pretty face, isn't there?"

LN

"what are you talking about?"

CS

"don't turn this on me, Lando. you literally feel proud and enjoy when you find out from somewhere or you can figure out that everything is bad between these two. Is that what friends do?"

CS

"you're also trying to get me emotional with your stories about how often you and Oscar are together. do you lack attention so much that you are ready to forcibly demand it from others and extract it from me in such a barbaric way?"

CS

"of course, as always, I am the most terrible. bravo, Carlos, what else could a loving and caring guy say"

LN

"I told you the truth. I want you to stop acting like a total bitch and leave them."

CS

"one more word in that tone, and you don't have to write to me anymore, okay?"

LN

"since I'm acting like a total bitch, you can go to anyone you don't think is like that. to Oscar, Logan, or at least to your perfect Leclerc, dude. idfc”

LN

"what does Charles have to do with it?"

CS

"I don't even know. google it, man»

LN

"maybe I really miss your attention so much, since I'm looking for it in others? It's worth thinking about, Carlos. I hope you will have time for this while you spend days and nights with your wonderful teammate."

LN

"Oh, I'm sorry, I thought I was dating an adult who can: a) to distinguish between working and personal relationships; b) to entertain himself while I am doing work and all this nonsense with contracts. It turned out I was wrong."

CS

"then you definitely need someone like Oscar. to sit in different rooms, remember each other once a day and admire another person. and what am I, I'm just a kid who wants attention from his boyfriend. of course, it's just terrible, Carlos!"

LN

"why are you so aggressive about our friendship with Charles? are you really that jealous? how can you, it's just a show, Lando))”

CS

"fuck you"

LN

"you say that adults should not demand attention by "barbaric" ways. but can adults afford deprive their partner so easily? You've been ignoring my messages for days. Didn't you have a single second in three days to say, "I'm fine, baby, don't worry," like it used to be? You don't notice me in the paddock anymore. damn, it really seems to me that you communicate with the same Oscar more often than with me. am I no longer worthy of this attention? Do I need to curry favor and beg?"

LN

"although it's unlikely to help. you never forget to tell me about Charles. you have fucking time to discuss your "divorce" with the whole press, Carlos. and how much time do you spend with him? you are together in the paddock, at shows, in clubs after the race. oh yes, Logan can sleep well, Oscar and I will never get to that level!"

LN

"I literally can't be with someone for as long like I would to be with you. God, I think about how cool it was with you at every show. it will never compare to Piastri. I was happy then because I didn't have to draw out praise, compliments, or any other attention. like now"

LN

"and I've already developed a real paranoia. when I received a message from you, I began to be afraid to enter our fucking chat. because I constantly think that I will see from you "we need to break up" or "I'm better off with Charles." fuck, I'm already dreaming about this story. and you would have known if you had picked up the phone when I called you. but you were at the club, judging by the stories of Charles' friends."

LN

"sometimes I'm so afraid of your betrayal that I'm ready to leave you, because it wouldn't hurt so much."

LN

"Lando, this is such a stupid thing."

CS

"I've never thought in my life that I want to cheat on you or break up"

CS

"including when we started communicating with Charles"

CS

"if that doesn't calm you down, then I'll remind you that he has a relationship. he hardly needs me."

CS

"I had no idea he was dating anyone, mate."

LN

"come on, Lando. you spend so much time with Max, didn't he tell you?"

CS

«…»

LN

"and that's not the main thing you should have heard."

CS

"I said I don't want to break up with you, baby."

CS

"that week, my phone fell out from the second floor and died. I asked Oscar to give you this, by the way, since you had a meeting in the near future. so all the questions are for him."

CS

"and I'm not ignoring you in the paddock. We're just talking as a group. I'm talking to everyone."

CS

"baby, are you here?"

CS

"yes."

LN

"what are you thinking about?"

CS

"about you calling me a bitch"

LN

"it's not the first time."

CS

"this is the first time you've said it seriously and aggressively, not as a flirtation or a joke."

LN

"I'm sorry about that."

CS

"I was wrong, Lando. I love you. It won't happen again, baby"

CS

"I'm sorry for being so persistent. and with Oscar, this situation... you're right, sometimes I'm terrible because I feel lonely. but I love you too."

LN

"I'm sorry that lately I haven't been able to spend as much time together as we both would like. but that doesn't mean I've forgotten about you or stopped loving you. I just want to wait for the summer break and take you to Spain, to my parents."

CS

"I know. I want it too"

LN

"and one more thing... I also think about you during the ferrari show. In your case, I really wanted to finish all this as soon as possible so that I could take you to a hotel room... but let's leave that out."

CS

"why don't you come now? I don't think anyone from the team will mind one former pilot in their lair."

LN

"will you give me 20 minutes?"

CS

"I'll give you more if you don't stay late."

LN

"el pequeño diablo"

CS

[compassionatereminders]

At 18, I left my home immediately due to my abusive and toxic parents. I stayed with my boyfriend's family from 18 to 22, who were incredibly kind, and my boyfriend was truly amazing. We've been living on our own for two years now, and everything was going well until I lost my job.

Ever since I lost my job, my boyfriend seems oddly unfazed by it. He even makes peculiar comments about how great it is that I don't work anymore, since he always finds lunch ready on the table when he returns home. Before I lost my job, we used to share the cooking responsibilities. However, now that I'm unemployed, he only cooks on weekends, but that didn't last very long. Whenever it was his turn to cook, he would conveniently act like he wasn't hungry yet, never actually starting to prepare a meal. As a result, I ended up doing all the cooking.

He used to wash the dishes, but now he doesn't bother anymore. The cup he used for his drink? It just sits in the sink. The plate from his sandwich snack? Also left in the sink. He always says he'll do it later, but later never seems to arrive. With a weekday office job, he's free on weekends.

He's creating an even larger disaster now. His eating habits are messy, and he never bothers to tidy up the table. Occasionally, there are bread crumbs scattered on the floor, and he simply ignores them. We used to split all the chores evenly, but now he acts as if he's exempt from any responsibilities. What's concerning is that he even expressed his wish for me not to get the job. After my interview last week, he mentioned that he prefers me being at home.

Is this really who he is? Or did he suddenly change overnight? I can't believe I fell for it. He seemed like such a nice guy... was it all an act? He used to get a little jealous, but it wasn't anything major... just normal jealousy, right? He even mentioned having a child together. I do want kids someday, but now I'm worried he's trying to manipulate me with that idea. I know it sounds crazy, but he's treating me so differently now. I'm afraid that if I have a child and no job, I'll be stuck. Am I losing my mind? I don't have any close friends to talk to about this...

I have another job interview next week. It's a fast food place... which I don't really see as a good job but right now I don't care if it's a good job. I just want a job so I can save up some money.

I don't think your discomfort is crazy, and I agree that his recent behavior is a giant red flag. Because it definitely doesn't sound like he has shown much interest in what YOU want. How YOU actually feel about doing all the housework, losing your job and potentially not working. Because if he was a decent partner, that would be more important to him than whether he himself prefers this new situation for whatever reason. Because in the end, it isn't up to him to define your needs and ambitions in life, and it's very worrying to me that he's trying to do that instead of having a genuine conversation about what outcome is best for BOTH of you

[bengiyo]

I hit post limit so I can write this in the tags or comments of the post. But I just wanted to say as someone who was feeling very salty about the cut scenes your ask about TV background info and audience feedback helped a lot. I didn't realize that kind of audience feedback and editing was so common. That said do you think the story would have been better with no brainded pairs? Despite the fact that I believe that Sand and Ray would have not been this well acted by anyone else do you think having no brainded pairs would have allowed to stay true to their original vision? And do you think that would have made the story better.

Feeding the audience is just good business sense. Charles on Brooklyn Nine-Nine is way different from how he was in Season 1 because his creepy vibe didn't test well with audiences. Most NBC shows are actually super fucking mean in their first season before softening because it's too much.

Do you think the story would have been better with no brainded pairs?

Emphatically YES. I like First and Khaotung. I think they're both very talented. I enjoy their friendship. I think they're both extremely detailed actors who communicate well and can build emotions off of each other easily.

That being said... They are not the only good actors that exist.

There are lots of talented people at GMMTV who I think could have done this storyline better. I was talking with @lurkingshan and we both think that the rehab plotline was added to shelter the image of FK for viewers. Ray calls Sand a whore constantly whenever he gets mad. Their dynamic is truly flawed in a way I don't think can work. I would rather Sand have stayed an embarrassing simp and we call him on it than this grand romance that it's turning into about how Sand's love pushed through the haze over Ray.

It's similar with Top and Mew. Force and Book are best friends. WE all know this. I actually think the longevity of their friendship is working against Top and Mew here because I don't think audiences are enjoying the games being played between the two, and I unfortunately think they leaned hard on Force's harshness early in a way that audiences bought into because of Mew's gamified responses that has made it impossible to take him seriously.

Neo and Mark are really goddamn good. Mark is probably the best supporting actor we've ever seen at GMMTV, and it's not a surprise that he was first with Nadao Bangkok. We can engage with their performances directly. We're less concerned about Neo and Mark and can focus on Boston and Nick.

...do you think having no branded pairs would have allowed to stay true to their original vision? And do you think that would have made the story better.

YES. We recently learned that Ninew led the workshops on Love in the Air and Wedding Plan. Ninew and Jojo are good at helping actors get into the zone for the work. I think this show would have been way better if we were caught up in the BL-of-it-all and focused on this as a group of queer people independent of whether or not we're worrying over whether a ship will be intact by the end of the story.

This team is really good. I like the work we've gotten from everyone, but I stand by my belief that this show would be better with all supporting actors who didn't need to perform ship once the show was over.