#i was super scared for myself in that churchs room

[sh1-n0bu]

OH NO NOBU KSAGJ

I'm so glad you saw the red flags with this group of religious people 💀💀

Immediate baptism is definitely not normal askgnj, (based on my experience), there's actually classes and stuff to get baptised, because you're supposed to like. Actually know what you're getting into, and they wanna make sure that the person is really serious about wanting to stick with the religion (Christianity is my reference, but idk about other religions). Cos like someone can't commit wholeheartedly if they have no idea what they're committing to ykwim??

STAY CAREFUL OUT THERE NOBU, RELIGIOUS CULTS ARE SCARY

(sorry for getting rambly, I get worked up about religious people pressuring others)

~ a concerned🧁anon

well, they did told me abt the baptism steps and what it does but still, an immediate baptism after only telling bits and pieces abt ur religion is super weird💀💀 like bitches even called an older person inside and i was like “i found it odd how the bible verses u told me says that everyone is going to be saved yet say that non-believers would be thrown into lake of fire. so, are u saying that other religious ppl would be included?” and bitch straight up dodged my question with a

“i just want ur soul to be saved😃😃” like BITCH STOP PLAYING AND STOP SMILING AT ME😭😭

[evanpeterswifeyyy]

Absolutely random rant session about my fucked up sleep stuff

Does anyone else have constant nightmares or disturbing dreams?

Like, my only dreams I’ve ever had have always been either terrifying or deeply disturbing. And for the first few years I was definitely terrified in my dreams, but now it’s just a common occurrence and feels like a “yeah this is fine and normal” moment in my dreams. The only times I get the feeling it’s a nightmare is when it gets super weird and disturbing and then I have to force myself awake.

Does it even count as a nightmare if I’m not scared??

Idk how to explain this phenomenon but like I have so many strange dreams that reoccur in the same sort of way I can make categories for it

+ dreams where I’m being chased or running from something/ someone

+ dreams where my environment is rapidly changing

+dreams where I have multiple dreams back to back that are wildly different

+ dreams of body horror like I had a dream of someone i loved being covered in moss, another time they were a rotting corpse, sometimes it’s acne based, a lot of the time it’s me hiding from someone who’s literally about to die in horrific ways. (I recently had a dream where a woman got surgery and it all split open and it sickened me so bad I had to stay up for an hour before I could fall back asleep at like 3 am)

+dreams where I die

+an amalgamation of all that

I genuinely don’t think I’ve ever had a “good” dream.

Like most ppl have dreams about going to work, being embarrassed, finding the love of their lives, their teeth falling out, etc.

Mine is being in a jumbled up rubix cube of an environment where I’m at school, but it’s not my school visually, but one room is from my school and my school is also a hospital now and I have to go to class but oh someone is getting throwing up their guts and oh now I’m in my house and my mom who’s not really my mom is hunting me down and I have to run away through the woods that are near my house but I don’t have woods near my house and now I’m at a haunted house and being stalked by creepy dolls— and on and on and on.

Once I had a dream I was in a church chapel and it was like the 1600s and it was a church but also acted as like a courthouse and I was watching someone’s trial where they were getting sentenced to beheading and then it randomly flipped and I was pulled from the crowd as the offender somehow and I had the most realistic, terrifying feeling of actual death when I realized I was going to die and a blade came down and I didn’t feel any pain rlly but everything when black and my head dropped in the basket and I remember still being concious but everything was muffled and my brain was all fuzzy and then I woke up. I was genuinely so sick to my stomach after waking up. It’s hard to describe the feeling other than I literally felt what it feels like to accept death and it’s horrific.

I’m just curious if this happens to anyone else.

I haven’t tried anything to prevent these dreams, I kinda feel like I can’t anymore even if I did try everything in the book. It’s why I’ve been trying so hard to learn how to lucid dream because I want to be able to feel safe and comfortable when I’m in a dream. And like technically I do because when I’m in my dreams I’m usually like an entire separate person (whether I look like me or not) kinda like a video game. So it’s “normal” to me in the dream. But obviously, it’s not comfortable in the way I want it to be.

If anyone has any tips on how to calm down my dreams a least a little bit pls drop it in notes because I’m desperate atp.

Sorry for the random rant but I find dreams so fascinating in general and this has been bothering me for days because they always spike up sometimes and turn into actual nightmares and I’ve been getting that recently. I hope this was actually interesting to people who did read this atrocious yap session.

I see u and I appreciate u 🫶

I actually have tons of dreams I remember pretty well if anyone wants to hear me specifically talk about all my weird dreams. I do keep a dream journal but it’s not consistent at all and sometimes I’m either too tired to write down the dream or too terrified of it to recall so there are some I don’t remember at all or it’s hard for me to talk abt in detail.

Even describing some of them in text gives me chills.

[pinkmoondoll9shihtzu]

hi miss L, i have a spiritual/religious question and i don't know anyone else who could answer it.... since i was a kid i've been attracted to tarot, spirituality, mystical explanations of the worlds workings, astrology, all that good stuff. i never used to connect my spirituality to a single higher power, and i never had any issues with this. for a few years i've been wanting more than just a disturbingly accurate tarot spread and i feel compelled towards god. i'm not sure how to word it honestly! i keep getting messages all around me telling me the saint that watches over me, and that god is there too. so here's my issue.

whenever i reach out and pray or do any kind of ritual or reach out specifically to god or a saint, my life immediately starts going haywire. yesterday i set up a small shrine in my room for my dead kitty since i've been feeling better about her passing and i prayed a little. i asked for sign that i was going in the right direction, and hours after i prayed, our sink plumbing got clogged, my cat (living) ran out and had to be caught, my mom dropped a whole bowl of food, and i wasn't able to pick up groceries bc the bank cards wouldnt work. this never happens in my household, we've been joking that we're cursed. this happens everytime i try to reach out to god. the worst time was when my mom lost her job, dad crashed his car, and i kept having panic attacks out of the blue for a week. i freaked out and took everything i said back and bathed in salt water for hours hoping i could cleanse whatever happened to me. it worked and my life was back to normal the next day.

do you have any advice? i would love to put my trust in a higher power as i've never been religious before, but smthn is going wrong somehow.

thank you for reading, i love seeing you on the dash and your music is so soothing and nostalgic. much love!! <3 <3 <3 <3

so sweet, and caring, thankyou u//u...im sorry things have been difficult :< The following message does not in any way endorse the claim that i understand God, that God could ever be understood, or that any one of us should every try to understand the -inner workings- of God ! purely my feelings v v v

i relate to ur background cus i grew up w no religion, my parents didnt talk about any kind of woo-woo stuff, my dads dad was woo-woo AF and my dad haaaaated it so he rejected all of it so i was pree much just a blank slate. but for some reason i was just REALLY obsessed w magical thinking and the like. believed in god spirits nature deities angels demons magic aliens and i was totaly engrossed in ~my secret world~. i was kinda scared of religion tho i viewed it in a bad light since i was learning about it during the george bush post-9/11 era & for some reason my child self was rly interested in consuming critique of america , iraq war / westboro baptist church type stuff , from an outsider's perspective i saw religion as something american people used as justification for committing atrocities & crazy power trips , which, i mean.. anyways

it didnt help me trust God xD but many of my beliefs remained into my teens i just didnt have any outlet for them. so i got into astrology around 15/16, started learning more about tarot & occultish type things, crytstals, all those subjects intrigued me very much. but i felt the same way as you, like, something was still lacking from it, even when i got these super profound tarot readings, or read my birth chart a million times over looking for clues about ~wtf is this stupid life for~ , i never felt safe. never felt assured, never felt i could trust myself or my future. it was an odd period, early 20s. but then kinda same as u, as my knowledge on these topics expanded i started to notice the quality of Holiness a lot more. the more i learned about different religions the more i realized how connected it all was, and how religion connects to "the occult", and magic, light and dark, i find it very hard to put into words. i just started to find myself actually really earnestly believing in God in a way i never thought i could? Like reading the bible & being completely enthralled, i NEVER woulda thought. i started to feel way safer in the world even tho im still not "christian" technicaly. but i believe in jesus now and it makes me feel safe on a cellular level.

i believe the real jesus was wholly non judgemental and loved everyone no matter what, the thing that susses me out about Religious Institutions was always the judgement that can spawn from it. misses the point of everrything in my opinion.

its kinda wild actually cus when i used to be into like, trash reality tv ghost hunting shows, i remember there was one ep where this psychic was talking about how she always prays to jesus for protection before doing a reading or entering a haunted place. that really intrigued me cus i thought jesus and psychic automatically cancelled each other out. i think that moment rly opened up the rabbitehole and it was so mundane like wtf. still rememebr it tho!

sorry im really in a typing mood tonight.. So my next point was gonna be that, just because i started to really believe in god and jesus and really PRAY for protection & guidance, my life did not get easier xD like i would say the past 6 years have been nothing short of a shit show. my life was fucked before that too tho so its hard to compare, but still, its safe to say my shift in perspective actually brought a lot of chaos into mylife. the point of it, i feel, is that i had to dismantle it in order to truly Live in the frequency of trusting God. because this was new to me! i wanted to trust God, i put out the energy of seeking God, and God was like ok hold on tight..

So now i'm here all these years later like, oh yeah God is real and i love him and it's all real. it's CEMENTED into me lol. When i used to say i trust God it still felt like i was asking permission to be able to feel that way. but now i really really do. And messed up stuff will keep happening forever because there needs to be light & dark, there can't b one without the other. But now i have faith in a really personal way that i wld never attempt to transfer onto another like even by talking about these experiences & concepts i still feel like i don't want to prove anything. except that it's worth it to keep trying, i guess :]

and OK this is really just how i feel like take it with a grain of salt , but from what i've gathered, if you believe in energy entities & astral happenings & whatnot, well. it's my opinion that the invisible low frequency parasites that feed on many ppl's dread & fear, when they're attached to u and u begin to raise your vibration, they get very upset and throw a fit. like think of a demon being exorcised, u know, u imagine it having a total fit in a desperate fight for it's life. if ur appeasing the demon and letting it use you then of course it's going to keep things on an even keel, u kno?

taking a salt bath was a good thing to do tho like one of the best things <3 its also good to have crosses or your holy item of choice around the house, light white candles, organize clutter. pray a lot like every time u feel happy and safe or notice something beautiful say thanku to God.. talk to your angels and encourage them i pray a lot specifically to strengthen them, upgrade their armor n shih...i ask them to work for my loved ones, i try to be concentrated on them, visualize them around me all the time, visualize them standing guard outside every door. i feel this kinda stuff increases ur Holy EXP and over time your spiritual armor gets stronger, bad entities move on and things in life start really flow. the trust just has to b there first, and it will be, so long as u allow it <3

it just takes time, and like i said i dont want to prove anything or be The Convincer, but if u were already having feelings to go down this path i recommend not giving up and let God carry u through those tough situations instead of seeing them as an absence of God or God's Wrath. just keep praying cus it can't hurt right, even if it's just a way to occupy your mind with kind thoughts about your friends and family, there's no downside to prayer. its your own journey so u just gotta live it and feel it out ^^ but pls dont feel u are being punished by God or demons or anything else! So many "bad" things that happen end up being neutral or even "good" in the long run. We can never foresee the reasoning behind God's plan ~~~

yeah, this was a long one, wow...i drank a energy drink 12 hours ago i think it made me hyper.. well have a swell evening if ur reading this anon!! o also i liek to listen to psalms before bed to help me feel calm i feel like it helps bring in angels. i think i will do so now, thanks for the Q i hope things improve for u very soon. Good night anon < 3 3 3 PMD 9

[queen-of-weird-girlboy-nation]

@auroraofthesun1

Diary of a teenage Christian girl

(Front page)

This diary belongs to GRACE ADAMS

I promise to pray, everyday!

Monday 1st August 2024

Dear diary:

I never use this thing, but since we’re at Bible camp I’ll have a lot of time for journaling. So here are some facts about me:

Im Grace Mercy Adams.

I have 8 siblings

I am a Pentecostal Christian

I’m 13 years old

I love Jesus more than anything. More than my own life. More than my parents. More than humanity itself. I would pull the kill switch on humanity, on myself, for Jesus

If I had to pick a way to die, I would chose to die a martyr, in the most painful way possible

I am in the choir

I play volleyball

I’m chaste and pure

I’m a good Christian girl through and through

I’m writing this on the road to Bible Camp, with Esther napping on my shoulder. Her eyelashes are… well they’re so nice when they flicker in her sleep. And so is her hair. She always complains about how boring it is, just plain brown, but I don’t know. There’s something about it… and her green eyes. She’s captivating, I know that much. But enough about Esther; I talk about her enough in this diary as is! Well she’s my best friend.

(Did best friend in purple because it’s her favourite colour, and mine is blue, so we compliment each other nicely, don’t you think diary?)

Well, I’m off to Bible Camp. It’s super far out, but that just gives me more opportunities to take pictures and appreciate the Lords creation. It’s my first time at Bible Camp, and I’m excited. My youth pastor says that I’m one of the most devoted young ladies in the church and will serve well, which is great. Our youth pastor is called Thomas and he likes to speak in a loud voice about end times. The end times are probably my greatest fear… sometimes I’ll be at home alone (which rarely ever happens, I have a lot of siblings) and I’ll be scared that everyone else got raptured and I got left behind. But that’s normal.

We’re singing songs now, go tell it on the mountain.

Go tell it on the mountains

Over the hills and everywhere

Go tell it on the mountain

That Jesus Christ is born

Youth pastor Thomas says that’s our call to evangelise and do missionary. He says that if we don’t evangelise, it’ll be on us if a lot of people go to hell. Hell and end times. Those things scare me the most I think.

I’m also scared of sin, which links back to everything, scared I’m gonna mess up. I’m slightly scared of God…,I respectfully fear the Lord. I’m not scared.

Esther is awake, so now I get to see how her green eyes hit the sunlight, it takes my breath away every single time. Esther has nice eyes. She’s looking at me writing this

‘You have nice eyes too. They’re blue. And you have nicer hair than me. Your white blonde hair makes you look like a pretty lamb’

That’s what she’s saying. She’s so seeet, and we got stuck in a loop of complimenting each other.

‘The only lamb here is the lamb of GOD!’ I said, half jokingly, half not. And we kept on singing.

Ok, we’re here! It looks really nice, gotta unpack and then move into rooms. I’m in a room with my sister Divine and Esther and Felicity Sam’s and Ruth Lampert. Good group. Gotta go unpack!

Forever the Lords,

Grace

[golbrocklovely]

sam and colby hell week review

finally sat down to write out all of my thoughts on hell week. i'm gonna break down each video, how i feel about them, rate them, and whether or not i would watch them again.

i also did one for last year so if you wanna see that, here it is.

i'm gonna also do some rankings and maybe a bit of comparison to last years, and what i would love for them to do in the future.

idk if this is gonna be super long or what, but feel free to skip around or just read the ending lol

yorktown hospital: major positives of this video - the group that snc went with. i love nate and seth, and i think all of them together works so well. i think the backstory of this place is horrendous and breaks my heart to hear about all of the terrible things that happened. what i did find funny was that this was the way snc found out that the organized religion can be sinful lol like… did they not know that the church can be corrupt, or did they know and were just surprised? either way, i thought it was kinda funny. the jump-scares throughout this video (at least in the intro/history portion) were not my favorite but it's fine. they definitely put their all into this first video, that's for sure. i think this video was the beginning of showing that snc, for some reason or another, were gonna really be hamming up their comedy bits in these videos. i'm not sure why they felt the need to really go all in on the jokes. i think for this one it was… okay? but as you'll see later in my reviews, i don't think it flies most times. and i think this is the first instance of them (sort of) being told to leave. the stuff that they caught in the chapel, both the first time and the estes method time, was very interesting and creepy. ngl, chapels/churches creep me out… idk why.

so before i started writing my review i watched two witches react to this video, and they talked about trickster spirits playing around with snc a lot in this video. and honestly, i kinda feel like that's the case in some way or another. they also pointed out that sam always go for the darker questions like "are you here to harm us", "are you evil", shit like that. and i never noticed it before until now. and this will also be the umpteenth time i say this but sam, please, for the love of god… STOP TRYING TO CONNECT EVERYTHING IN THE MOMENT.

the hallway investigation was cute, if not a bit dramatic. and the solo investigations were interesting as well. especially with nate and seth and the fogging of the camera??? that was kinda creepy. overall, while they didn't get a shit ton of evidence, i think the general vibe of the video fit well for hell week, especially the start of it.

rating: 4/5

would i rewatch: sure :)

~~~~~~~

mcraven mansion: going into this video, i wasn't exactly excited. mostly bc i wasn't happy about the collab. like, i get that they were on todd and brett's podcast, but what do they have to do with ghost hunting? this kinda feels like a last minute type of deal, like they were supposed to film with someone else but things fell thru. maybe i'm wrong about that tho lol but, surprisingly, this video was pretty okay. i didn't getting annoyed as much as i thought i was going to. this was the shortest video of hell week, and it honestly felt like it too. but at the same time, it kinda dragged a bit as well. also, i'm trying to be more open about ppl randomly being psychic around them, bc i myself also get weird feelings from time to time and i know what it's like to be seen as crazy for experiencing what i have. however, it's really hard to take ppl seriously when they say things all of sudden. especially when it comes out of no where OR they're someone that's never had a paranormal experience before. evidence wise, i don't remember them getting a whole bunch. the door opening, that was kinda spooky. the rempod going off like crazy was also pretty cool. OH THE HOURGLASS. that was very interesting. they should do that more often, especially if they feel like a place or a room is trapped in a time period. and the connection between that opened spirit box section and the tour guide... now THAT is something i would love for snc to do (when they get an editor that can just do their whole video lol) bc if they could back thru their evidence later and either connected it to some history they didn't know or what, i think that would add a whole new level to their videos. honestly, going back thru this video, i didn't realize how much i liked it. but something about it felt really rushed or weird to me. it has potential, but not enough follow-thru. also gotta add it: the phone falling out of brett's pocket was not paranormal lmao

rating: 3/5

would i rewatch: maybe.

~~~~~~~

myrtles plantation: this video, highkey, was such a let down. i think the previous two were so good, especially for beginning hell week videos, and i expected this one to be a bit more solid. i had never heard of this place, so idk how haunted or not haunted it is. but i just feel like… nothing happened. i went into the video one way and came out the other side the same. i just feel very meh about this video overall.

the tour guide was very much… a tour guide lol idk how else to describe it, but she felt like someone trying to sell you on the place being spooky. and a side tangent, how come a lot of these videos don't have outros? or like, them talking about their night stay? very strange to leave out key details like that idk. the group that they were with, nate and amanda… yeah. i guess it worked. i'm always happy to see nate. and amanda is okay occasionally. this time around she wasn't up to her usual antics so i can appreciate that.

the reenactment…. why in god's green earth did snc do that, let alone leave it in? bc fun fact, they literally had a talk with their team before the video was posted about not including it. and i would love to know why no one thought to tell them that maybe it wasn't the most respectful thing to do. not only that, but it wasn't funny. so like… 0-2 there boys. the crystal that amanda gave colby was sweet, but knowing him he's not gonna use it to actually hone in his abilities. and the evil eye bracelets don't technically protect from evil spirits, just made mojo sent to you by humans, but it can't hurt you to have it so whatever. so the investigation itself was… fine, i guess. nothing too crazy. when they split off alone, that was where it got a bit interesting. sam was terrified, which always raises a red flag in me. bc while he can be jumpy or repeating "ooooh mmmyyy goooodddd" a lot, that doesn't mean he's scared. so when he actually is, it's a bit startling to me. the estes method with nate and amanda was actually pretty cool, i think that's where a lot of the evidence they got was the most compelling. and this is also the start of colby's audio being cut off. this happens like two or three more times and it makes no sense to me. idk if it's their camera (which is very possible) or if it's the ghosts, but either way, something doesn't want their conversation with colby to be known.

and the estes method with them all tied up around amanda was weird… but not in a paranormal way lol

rating: 2/5

would i rewatch: no :)

~~~~~~~

trans-allegheny: i liked this video a lot, both when i first watched it and rewatching to do this review. michelle was a great addition to the video. and while she was a bit jumpy, it honestly didn't bother me. i did find it funny that michelle is a badass compared to all the boys, yet she was freaked out the whole time. as for the investigation, again, this was one that fell a little flat, but i don't think it was snc's fault completely. for whatever reason, the ghosts were just not fucking around with them or their vibe. i know the hide and seek game wasn't exactly the best thing for them to do, or the hopscotch trigger event they pulled later, but i don't think they were super disrespectful to the spirits. but the voice they caught saying lily on camera and not in the evp recorder was very compelling. honestly that part was creepy as hell to me. the estes method with michelle... eh. i get she was scared, but this was the only time her jumping got a bit too much for me. also, it's interesting how whoever they were talking to didn't want them there at all. it kinda felt as if some bigger spirit wasn't allowing them to talk to who was actually there. it could be that or the spirits for whatever reason felt disrespected by them.

the hopscotch thing was.......... a thing. why do i have a sneaking suspicion that sam came up with this trigger event lol the hide and seek game was an interesting concept, i guess. props to michelle for hiding bc i would have said absolutely fuck no baby to snc. that voice box that they used towards the end was somehow way creepier than anything else in the video. i think cutting out the radio static makes whatever voices that do come thru all the more scarier. overall, while this video did feel like a filler, i wasn't upset about it. i think it was right on the line of fully fun investigation and filler.

rating: 3.5/5

would i rewatch: yeah

~~~~~~~

old washoe club: so by this point in hell week, i want the scariest, the creepiest, the overall terrifying-est videos snc can give us. halloween is approaching and i want to be spooked. and this video was… not that. i said earlier it was a bit of grower on me, and i can see myself liking it later down the line. and i do think that's the case to some degree. like i said earlier, i watched two witches react to their videos, and this was one of them. so now watching it for a third time just to do this review is not exactly sitting well with me since i still have the same reactions as i did before.

the place itself, honestly, doesn't seem haunted to me. maybe residual energy, sure, but nothing actually demonic or scary. or so i thought for the most part. when kris got scratched, that was really freaky. part of me is bit skeptical, bc i feel like it could have been her (bc snc saying "oh she can't even reach that part" is not believable to me lol all she had to do was stand up straight and i'm sure she could have) but i'll take their word for it that it wasn't her and it was something there that did that. i'm surprised at how well composed she was for this entire video. honestly, when she's not around celina, she does better with paranormal in my opinion. that's not a rag on celina, just an observation i have lol

i will say the only two places that gave me bad vibes was the crypt and the red room. the crypt was pretty weird, and the flashlight literally moving, plus turning on and off like four times while doing so, was very intriguing. and of course it would pick colby. but what i thought was interesting was that, yet again, the audio for him cut out. part of me, again, thinks it might be the camera. i know they have two nightvision cameras, so i wonder if one of them is busted. but then another part of me is like "they've used both before in other videos (literally even the previous one) and it didn't glitch on them that time so… what gives?" but i think my favorite part of the whole video was colby saying "i felt an innocent presence with me". now THAT'S the shit i'm talking about !!! seriously, colby does stuff like that, and it just makes me more excited to see his path going forward with the paranormal.

as for the rest of the video, it was fine. the trigger event this time around didn't feel insulting, so that's nice i guess. and personally, i'm starting to think that little kid spirits just don't exist. nothing they were getting on the spirit box/ovilus was child related. the sls stuff they got was kinda interesting, but also just felt like a glitch to me. but they should pull out that device more often. i think the crystal ball part was a bit… obtuse? like, i get it. they want to do something to open up their psychic abilities, but… maybe read up on it more and not just go out and buy a crystal ball lol and kris standing in that room by herself - props to her. you can just tell she was freaking out and was scared out of her mind. but she remanded decently calm.

rating: a very soft 3/5

would i rewatch: not for a while lol but yeah at some point

~~~~~~~

bell witch cave: i'm gonna say what everyone else is thinking - this should have been the finale. at least, it feels like a finale type of video to me. nonetheless, i think this was their best investigation by far. i think it was on par with the conjuring which is why it also felt like it should have been the finale. the team they were with - fantastic. love the four of them. i think collectively snc always get the craziest stuff with seth and josh (minus the pine barrens which i think is snc's worst video to date, tied with crescent hotel, but feel free to disagree). also, just noticed this now rewatching it, but when they're in the cabin and snc tell josh and seth that they plan to not use equipment first, josh and seth tell them they call that "quiet-game shit" which... is highkey hilarious for some reason lol so the knocking, while it is pretty scary (and probably scarier in the moment), i always wonder if it's just the old ass houses they are in doing that. it's hard for me to wrap my head around a spirit being so strong enough to kill a man, but not strong enough to appear and speak, but instead resorts to knocks? idk. but regardless, i think them being freaked out is what freaked me out the most. bc you can tell when they're all genuinely scared versus hamming it up for the cameras.

but i have to note, that colby saying "in 2021, when we did queen mary, it almost feels like time didn't even go by at all and we're in like the ship for some reason." ....can someone check on him? please? bc that's a bit concerning. but also i need him to elaborate on that thought. do you mean that time feels a bit frozen to you? or was it just in the queen mary itself? or is it even now? bc all of those questions don't exactly lead to the same conclusions.

them using an actual witch to cleanse themselves.... round of applause for finally doing what we've been telling you for FUCKING YEARS TO DO. the onvoy glitching a bunch was pretty interesting, but i still have some issues with that device. but either way, it was confusing as to why that was happening. the cave itself was very spooky. something about this was way more creepier than even the catacombs they went to last year. something about the energy of that place is off. all of them going in and taking polaroids was actually a pretty interesting idea. and i think the execution was awesome and kinda terrifying. the fact that the camera just wasn't taking pics of colby..... immediate chills for me. also sam being that scared, again, spooks me more just bc of how serious he gets. both of their polaroids were weird as hell. it honestly looks like to me that there's a figure behind colby, but it's hard to tell bc of how warped the pic became. seth and josh hearings voices was freaky too. and you could tell they were legitimately scared by them. but i find it interesting that seth and josh's photos weren't all that weird looking. the final part was a bit all over the place, again - probably bc sam likes to connect everything together in the moment instead of just... letting it happen naturally, but i think the conclusion was overall pretty well.

rating: 5/5

would i rewatch: yes

~~~~~~~

winchester mystery house: i think a lot of us were kinda going into this video not excited, bc we know the dynamic kris and celina have. i know i wasn't excited about this video, and especially bc it got uploaded so late that it basically was on halloween, so i wanted something scary. conjuring level.

that's not what we got, but i was pleasantly surprised by this video.

but i do gotta talk about the negatives: the medium, the one present with them, was… idk. something about her felt fake. sorry. especially when she honed in on celina and said "oh you see dead ppl" which like…. what a convo starter. also telling her she needs to love herself and see herself the way others do or whatever. that was sweet, i'll give you that. but like, maybe don't include in the video, boys. it's not connected to the investigation so move it along.

the guides this time weren't as annoying as the last time, if i remember correctly. they didn't seem to be trying to get you to believe the place is haunted, just that there have been some strange stuff going on. i will say tho, this house to me has not a single spirit in it. idk what it is, but nothing about this house feels haunted at all. it feels peaceful in a way, but not haunted. also when they talk about the doors that lead to no where or the stairs that do that, all i can think is there was an earthquake there. shit that once existed does not anymore. maybe that's why shit doesn't make sense layout wise. especially the one door that leads to the outside. clearly there used to be a deck there that isn't there now.

i think this time around the empathy that they have for sarah is a really nice change of pace. i don't think last time they were disrespectful, more so that they just believed that hype of the legend of her being a crazy woman.

the numerology, while i know some of you don't believe it, is what (to me) saved this video from being ass. i think regardless of how you feel about it, it's very intriguing to see how the numbers relate to snc. kris and celina's, gonna be honest, i don't know them well enough to really say one way or another. but snc's numbers are the most interesting to me. so sam's being the guide makes perfect sense, i think. would i say he's colby's guide? maybe yes maybe no. i think sam definitely helps colby a lot figure out what he truly wants to do and has directed him down a really good path in life. i think they mesh well together in a lot of ways. and i think sam's more logical/cynical side gets balanced out by colby's more positive/dream-like side. sam said it once before, that his favorite attribute about colby is his smile bc he always just makes everyone else happy and that is 1000% RIGHT. as for colby's number, i mean… is it suprising to anyone? seriously, i recommend you read up on number 11s and see how much really connects with colby bc highkey some are just spot on.

if anyone wants to know mine, i'm a 2 :)

but back to the investigation portion - while i don't know how much i believe in celina's abilities, i do think she definitely feels things regardless. and that in itself kinda proves she has some ability. i think evidence wise, they didn't catch all that much. the voice they heard, them seeing things possibly, celina following who she thought was sarah… it was sort of compelling, sort of meh. again, the thing that stood out to me was the numerology stuff.

and as for them going thru the house on their own, the audio cutting off on colby AGAIN is insane to me. how is that possible??? and sam being fucking terrified for some reason was really strange to me. his spirits were high all night, but the moment he thought he saw something, he was about ready to shit himself. i'm concerned for him and the way he jumps from borderline cold towards the paranormal to scared shitless. he should really work on finding a middle ground and centering himself when he does get scared.

rating: 3/5

would i rewatch: possibly, but most likely only for the numerology stuff

~~~~~~~

overall rating of hell week: 3.5/5

wouldn't you believe it: i'm basically giving the same rating to hell week as i did last year. bc i realized this half-way thru hell week - both seasons of hell week are like any other season of snc. they just give it a better title. bc think about it, take last year's hell week. everyone i've come across has said that last years was so much better. if that's the case, take out the conjuring finale….. is it really better than what we got this year? bc i don't think so. i think both are on par with one another. hell technically, i did the average score for both hell weeks and this one ranked higher, but by like .01 percent. so that's what i mean. both hell weeks are fine. but they aren't spectacular. snc have a better chance of filming a one off scary-ass video than they do planning to film a scary video.

to quote myself from an ask not too long ago: i honestly feel like both hell weeks were average at best. the only reason the first one felt crazy was bc it was first. also, snc hadn’t been doing all paranormal last year. they started 2021 out with 25x25, then stopped bc it wasn’t gaining views, did paranormal for a hot minute, went to chernobyl, and then did hell week. there had been a long enough pause between content, and i think them going back to the conjuring, alone, added to hell week feeling special. but in reality… it was basically the precursor to what they ended up doing this year. it just felt cooler back then.

here are some things that i would love for snc to do in the future, for both hell week and any other seasons they plan to do:

please, for the love of god, stop freaking out so much. take it down even one notch, and i swear the content will be better.

sam, stop talking over every estes method. stop trying to connect everything WHILE it's happening. do that later, or when the estes method is over.

colby, go to a psychic or witch or something and start reading up on your abilities. i NEED you to be more empathic lol

do at least one investigation per season solo. if you want someone with you in the beginning, sure. but go alone, with just the two of you. bc that content is fire regardless of what you get.

use the sls camera more.

if you can find a way to let us hear what the spirit box is saying during an estes method, that would be awesome.

find a way to go back thru videos after you've filmed them and see if things are connected that you didn't realize before.

maybe tone down the hyping up of every video bc then it ends up being a let down when it isn't the best

if you do hell week again, you gotta post the videos from creepiest to scariest bc otherwise it just ends up feeling a bit mish-mashed

there's probably other stuff i could add, but i'll just let them focus on this lol (as if they'll ever see it)

i genuinely enjoyed hell week, and i'm excited to see what the future holds for snc. i don't see them getting worse, so everything can only go up from here.

ranking of the videos

bell witch cave

yorktown hospital

trans-allegheny

winchester mystery house

washoe club

mcraven mansion

myrtles plantation

[darkclouud9]

Okay incredible because it's been plaguing me literally all day since I woke up the first tike at 6am which is when sadly my dream ended.

So let's start with some big things first, I was Etho, I knew I was Etho and not Crow even if I never saw myself in a mirror or remember hearing my name called at all (I also felt more like myself in the dream then when I woke up tbh, which is probably another thing I should add to my list of "get checked out for some form of plurality"). I was kind of dating a god of some kind who's face I can't remember but she had a very nice pink flower late spring/early summer aesthetic and I remember her being so pretty, and be because I can't remember her face but it was a type of indescribable beauty, though that wasn't the only reason I liked her, she was kind and had this sort of firm bluntness that was also caring and gentle. There was also mild hints of polyhermits ("mild" I say as a quote I remember vividly saying is "these people aren't quite as open with relationships as we all are at home"). I think bdubs was there (might've mildly defaced my goddess' garden), and I know for sure beef was there (he was the last person I remember seeing before I woke up).

The location I remember was gorgeous. For a huge chunk I remember a backrooms like escape room it was mild horror (there was gore at some parts but like it felt so normal and I'm not stranger to this feeling in dream either, no actual jump scares or anything like that but some points it was a feeling of being watched, not chased just watched.) and this is a place I've seen in dreams before too. winding hallways, specific types of exits you need to find to get out, stairs to nowhere, housing like hallways, school hallways, church halls, various items to pick up and store away. At some points I remember having and needing a manual wheelchair but other times I was perfectly fine without it. But at one point I stopped looking for a way out of this liminal space (I wasn't alone one of my irl friends being with me for a long time before I lost them just before what I'll call act two of the dream which will be described right away here). I found this gorgeous city that was in a constant night but always lit up mainly moon light but gentle soft street lights in places where the incredibly bright moon couldn't reach. It was filled with beautiful eclectically coloured and designed houses and most shops had that like neon sign aesthetic. It was super full and the houses where close together but the streets were wide and there was plants everywhere including on top of houses and stuff.

The garden that was for the goddess, was a small collection of these pretty pools on different layers surrounded by black rocks filled with plants of various types shaded by this pink leaved willow, I remember there was a way this place could be used as a portal to somewhere but she wouldn't let me go through it. The entire structure could've fit in maybe a 5×5×8 meter cube. It was vaguely circular and had very soft shapes.

I remember talking to Beef and it felt like home. I woke up feeling homesick...

Ohhh man, this sounds so vaguely familiar. I'm good at imagining things, so it could be that, but I've also had dreams where I've felt like and known I was someone else.

And the fact that you are somewhat used to horror in dreams is insane to me o.O (I think the scariest dream I had as a kid was like a locker room with Freddy Fazbear suits hanging from literal clothing hangers. I, for some reason, had a shotgun, and I shot one of the suits, and the wall behind them disappeared while the suit I shot swung around. The wall turned into lines and lines of Freddy Fazbear suits and I woke up feeling scared after that, literally why-)

I don't know much about the backrooms, but I can very much imagine the whole scene of what you explained. Your dream sounds so peaceful though. I'm imagining birds chirping and grass swaying gently in the wind and I think it's bc you mentioned the garden. (I'm imagining the most beautiful, pink themed garden ever, I promise you. It sounds so peaceful-)

And Beef is a literal home. You prove the point by saying you were homesick when you woke up. He is a home. You miss him. You feel sick being away from Beef. (I am forcing this onto you, I'm correct /j)

[fantasticalleigh]

You were a Mormon? Geez, how did you escape? I heard it's like a cult.

I was brought up a Catholic, but that was easy to escape. I just walked away, refused all entreaties from my mom and grandma to go back, and they eventually stopped asking. I don't even go at Christmas and Easter anymore, the sheer hypocrisy is way too much for me to tolerate even twice a year to make my mom happy.

Sadly, I was! technically still am but more on that later. My parents were members since before I was born so I was going as a wee child up until I was baptized and officially joined at 8 years old. I didn’t leave until I was in my early twenties.

Adding a cut here because this is a long response so sorry in advance! But this ask really opened the floodgates bc I honestly don’t get to talk about this a lot, if ever. 

It’s definitely a cult. It’s all emotional tactics to reel you in and keep you there. Everyone is friendly and there’s always lots of fun family events going on and within time you’re given leadership roles in the church to become more involved.  One of the most successful tactics they use is the “sealing” ceremony, where a family is bound/sealed for all eternity within the temple. New/existing members are encouraged to get their extended family to join so they can all get sealed together, because it’s honestly a lovely thought that death won’t be able to part you. But it’s a gross emotional ploy to increase membership, and it really works. 

Honestly, I enjoyed church some of the time. The songs were pretty and the people were nice, but yeah--there was a lot of hypocrisy going on and I hated being policed so closely about what I wore. Thanks to my sisters’ influences I loved punk-rock/alt/goth music and the general scene/aesthetic (Green Day, MCR, Evanesence, etc) but that was super frowned upon. It was funny, looking back, because I loved all that but was too afraid to swear bc I did believe that Sky Daddy would punish me for it. Didn’t try coffee until I was like 23 I think. Was heavily discouraged from wearing black or any “upsetting” imagery, had to sit like a lady, had to talk proper and conduct myself in a way that meant I was proper wife material--which, you know, is a great goal to set in kids so young. Young Women had to have their classes separate from the Young Men and we were constantly being taught lessons about homemaking, motherhood, modesty, purity, all that stuff. Even when I was young it left a bad taste in my mouth but I never questioned it bc it was all I knew. 

My dad had a somewhat prominent leadership role in our ward and so bc of that we always had to keep up appearances but I was ALWAYS falling asleep at church, especially during testimony. It’s boring. So boring. And I hated wasting my Sundays sitting there when I could be watching cartoons at home instead. But the hymns were pretty and sometimes I could sneak away and go hide in an empty room and draw on chalkboards if I didn’t want to deal with people (I did this a LOT). I was a decent mormon but I wouldn’t say a good one lol. My family still went out for lunch every Sunday despite that being a holy day and it being frowned upon (but so many other families did it too, and we’d always laugh about it). 

My parents didn’t speak English very well so we were members of the Spanish ward the entire time. That backfired tho bc my Spanish has never been good so most of the time during bible study or other general lessons I was struggling to keep up or understand. Most members were bilingual so at least in the Young Women’s classes I understood everything perfectly. Another big tactic the LDS church uses (and most cults in general) is the doomsday one. I remember constantly being told that the earth’s last days were upon us and we were a special generation of soldiers handpicked by God to live in these times. I remember being scared as shit but feeling special despite it. Which, you know--yikes. 

I joined because it made my parents happy. I was eight years old when the missionaries were constantly coming around to our house and reading scripture with us and teaching us the great things about joining the church etc. I remember that so vidily--I would hide in a corner behind the sofa and listen and my parents were so hopeful about my sisters and I saying yes that it felt like I would have broken their hearts if I said no. But I mean, I was literally eight years old so they would have stuffed me in a proper dress and dragged my ass to church anyway LOL. I was baptized and I remember how proud they were, especially after we did the sealing ceremony--we still have the document somewhere with my small 8 year old handprint on it. 

As much as I didn’t like the physical act of going to and being at church, I still tried to believe and be good. Following the commandments is relatively easy and I prayed and forced myself to read the book of Mormon and was considered a “Good Kid” by the church leaders in our ward. Mostly because I didn’t talk much and nodded along to everything they said. I participated in doing Baptisms for the Dead even though it was a wild concept to me at the time and I did have issues with the consent aspect (or lack of it) at the time. But I started having doubts as a teen because I was starting to realize how sexist/racist/homophobic the teachings are. I was super depressed in my teens and threw myself harder into the faith because I thought doing that would heal me, or make my problems go away. And when the abuse or the bullying didn’t stop and the depression didn’t lift I kept asking myself: Why is god ignoring me? Why do I still feel this way? Am I not worthy? 

I did the girl’s camp thing and eventually became a counselor. I went to see Nauvoo and cried during the reenactment of Joseph Smith’s final moments. I dressed modestly and prayed every night and morning and before meals and tried to study the Bible. But it was so boring, and it felt like I was just playing a part. I didn’t feel happy. 

The older men in the church were very flirty. They sought me and my sisters out after services and would make small talk--I responded as best as I could in broken Spanish and would leave as soon as we could. Whenever we didn’t want to deal with people we would hide in one of the many classrooms and draw on the chalkboards or just talk to the other teens who were also bored out of their minds. When I was 17 or 18, I had to sit through a temple recommendation interview with my bishop (a 40+ year old man who worked closely with my dad). I was sitting in the chair in front of his desk and there was another chair, empty, beside mine, and he told me to imagine that God was sitting there, and so I felt pressure to answer honestly and not leave the room like I wanted. I was nervous and uncomfortable. He asked me if I was still pure. He asked me if I had ever masturbated. If I looked at porn. If I had a boyfriend. If I had ever done drugs or drank alcohol or taken God’s name in vain. This is not an isolated incident--it’s a common practice in the church to deem who is “”””worthy”””” of entering the sacred temple. 

I sort of blocked it out when it was over and didn’t think about it again. I got my recommendation and was happy about it and that was it. Looking back now, that is fucking MORTIFYING. And I guess that was really when the veil sort of started to lift and I felt more and more uncomfortable in the church.

My twin sis and I spent our freshman year at an out of state school, and that was the first time in pretty much our whole lives that we weren’t actively going to church for longer than a month. We felt so free--and cautious. She already had one foot out the door and I was toeing it. I felt SO guilty for not going or praying regularly, but eventually I found it wasn’t so scary. And my sis and I would talk about church and how we were feeling, and the weird shit we’d gone through, and go “that was fucking weird wasn’t it?” And just being able to talk that freely about it without our parents overhearing was huge.

I was coming to terms with the fact that I wasn’t as straight as I thought. My twin sis had already come out by then and made the mistake of telling our mom, who imploded and begged her to get counseling within the church to rectify it. I felt like I had spent most of my life living by someone else’s rules and had suppressed my true identity the entire time, and it was enough. I was also doing some research at the time and found the truth behind the church’s beloved founder/prophet Joseph Smith (pedophile/rapist, conman, etc.) which was really eye-opening. Also the church’s (at the time) super hard stance against LGTBQIA+ and gay marriage was kind of a neon sign blinking at me to gtfo. 

So I could keep going and living a life I didn’t like or I could get my Sundays back and actually live my life. Easy peasy. 

When we came back home for the summer we never announced it but we just stopped going. It was the exact same as you, anon--they kept trying to pressure and guilt us into going back with them. It worked a few times, but only for special events. 

Technically to officially leave the church you have to write a letter to your bishop to have him delete you from the record. I really wanted to do it but didn’t, because there are so many horror stories from other Ex Mormons who did this, intending to exit the LDS church but not have to tell their families, only for the meddling bishop to snitch anyway and form an intervention. Hard pass. Didn’t want to deal with it. And I still haven’t done it. I don’t think anyone would be surprised if I did it now. But I still think there would be fallout from my parents. 

So yeah. This was unnecessarily long but your question broke the dam open, lol. I could go on for even longer but maybe that’s for another time. Sometimes I wonder if I'm fucked up because I was in that cult for so long or if I was fucked up before it. Either way I’m out now and am living more or less deliciously so there’s that. 

(There’s tons of really good podcasts about the history of the founding of the church and the scumbags who abused their power (Joesph Smith, Brigham Young, to name two--I haven’t researched it that thoroughly though so I'm sure there’s much more. Also, the ExMormon subreddit is a fantastic resource for other accounts of leaving the church and it’s current/past issues, weirdly specific memes and introductions on how to make coffee.)

[twistednuns]

August 2024

Munich Micro Burn. First and foremost, learning my lesson: EMBRACE THE CHAOS. After all the planning and hustling and stressful weeks, nothing really worked out. First I was pissed, then I cried myself into a tiny nervous breakdown and eventually I just accepted it and went with the flow, enjoying myself. I didn't even do any workshops myself and completely gave up control. Acid Friday was magical on the dancefloor with my kaleidoscope and prism glasses. I went on a little trip through the universe and ended up in a cuddle puddle with Luna, Patri and David. Rainmaker massaged me. I was so happy to be reunited with Luki and loved hanging out with him in the pool or cuddle space. He shared a baritone sax fantasy with me. I also connected with Makelove (playing bingo) and Marjolien (following a black cat together, then I drew one of her heart notes - "there is no right or wrong"). I got buffed. And drank a lot of cherry slushie. Played with the ball pool equipment in the pool. And started a mud wrestling event. I reunited with Frank after months of hardly any contact. I made a delicious batch of creamy coconut porridge. I performed in the Consent Cabaret and initiated the Sonic Sound Experiment with C. (humming and tuning in together with an electric toothbrush). I happily ate Pombären in my tent and wrote down everything I wanted to get rid of into the old book we'd burn in Katharina's and Alex's temple on Saturday. I played on the swing and enjoyed watching my boyfriend's DJ sets. The opening ceremony was cute this year, too. We all got little keys and symbols for our archetypes.

A personal little decompression with C. I don't even know what we did all those days. All I know is that we started watching Twin Peaks.

Holding Charlie in baby pose. He even snuggled up to my chest.

Homemade pizza.

Getting a cheep red dress that is so comfy I wanna live in it for the whole summer.

Devouring a whole, moist mozzarella ball. Alone time. Dopamine mode with strange food, gaming, even smoking a few cigarettes. I don't really like myself when I'm like that though. I appreciate a pinch of control in my life.

Board game night with Margit and Ansgar. Having three kids around was a little too much though. Spiel des Wissens nostalgia.

Swimming in Klostersee during Golden Hour after L.'s sport event. Going to the other side of the lake. Watching the dragonflies (thinking of my mum whenever I see one after Ash's comment) and water lilies.

Test-driving e-bikes.

Cuddling with L. and C. on the sofa. With lots of blankets and pillows.

Having Kanako, Uli, Gyan and Jana over for a campfire BBQ and stargazing. Kanako shared a lot of stories and the next day we sat around in the kiddie pool together.

Riding the rollercoasters, water slide and boat swing with C. and L. at the amusement park. More cherry slushie. Discovering the Nordic theme world with obvious Midsommar vibes. There was a triangular church and eerie music playing. Inside the church you could ride around a tree in walnut halves and shoot at creepy little animals. Lian was super scared of the buffalos with the giant horns. In the evening, we drive through a medieval village and had delicious pizza and ice-cream. C. researched its history and came up with stories about witch trials.

Flutschfinger popsicles. So fruity.

Getting to know Christian's parents. They're pretty much exactly as he described them. It's creepy to see how he changes his personality completely when he's around them.

Getting to know Maike and Simon. Such wonderfully open, engaged, intelligent, easy-going people. She used to be a feminist porn director and now works as an art teacher. He used to be a climate activist and cuts movies. I loved their home (the green bathroom with yellow and pastel pink accents looked delicious), the conversations, dinners with their friends and daughters. We stayed in Ala's room. Of course I connected with her. Little girls always find me.

Mediterana Therme in Bergisch Gladbach. I've never visited a more beautiful spa. I especially enjoyed the Indian and Persian saunas, pools and courtyards. There were events every 30 minutes and there was so much art around. No kids allowed either. What a fantastic experience.

Richard Seewald's Surrealist painting Katze mit Salamander (I didn't even find the original - I bought the postcard in the gift shop before I even bought an entrance ticket). Walking through Museum Ludwig with Christian, calming down after a sensitive mood with tears and overwhelm in the morning. Taking photos in a far-off corner of the photography exhibition. Being inspired by the Surrealist paintings. I probably liked Ursula's Dunkle Messe best.

Only touching, no talking during the train ride. Earplugs. C. already knows when I need them and offers them to me.

A tiny corner of Cologne (my first time there): lighting a candle in the cathedral. Gift shopping on our way to Brüsseler Platz (I bought a glass straw, a Hamsa bookmark made from brass and a postcard as a thank you note for Maike and Simon). Balinese food. Chocolate coconut popcorn. Going home early, enjoying the night outside on the terrace after everybody had already gone to bed.

Cute children's books in Ava's room (one about a little girl going on a nightly stroll through the city with her dad because she's afraid of the dark) and in the museum shop.

Staying with Ludo in Eibelstadt. He let us stay there the first night even though he wasn't there. On our way back to Munich we stopped by again and went to his cabin in the hills behind the river with him, his partner Sophia and his son. He built everything himself! Such a cozy and cool place. We had a decadent barbecue and hopped into the warm jacuzzi after the boys had gone to bed. I performed a witchy little ritual on C. in the morning. Then we went to Ludo's other property to visit the old building there. Lost places.

Bubblegum pink nails.

C. sending kiss emojis and 111(1) reminders.

Guessing correctly which year a movie came out.

Late summer/early fall vibes. I can already feel a slight urge to bake zucchini cake and pumpkin quiche, watch whimsical autumn movies, read gothic novels. I started reading the first Practical Magic book and even found a copy of the Book of Shadows on the street in Leipzig. And when I bought a drink at Marie's Hoffest, the bartender girl tattooed a little magic wand on my wrist! It's the season of the witch!

Going to Leipzig for my Gestalt therapy training. Meeting my group. Observing my process. I'm very happy with my decision to ditch my yoga module and do this instead. I got the feeling that my empathy and intuition is very well-suited for the position of a therapist. I even managed to make someone cry because I helped him realize an important need in one of my first training sessions.

Learning about my role as a leader / how I want to be lead in an exercise with Tillmann.

Going into plough pose to help my back pain. Deep stretches. Recovery measures after hours on those tiny meditation pillows.

All the mirroring and the little insights it produces: that I'm hardly able to sit with a feeling. I always want to move on, find solutions, go deeper. Movement comes easy, stillness is hard. Which is quite fitting to someone's recent observation about me: I tend to avoid stillness and rest. / I can't feel myself very well. Which is why I push my boundaries. I don't even notice them until it's too late and at that point I draw a very strict line and establish tight boundaries. Too tight, of course. But I need to protect myself because I haven't taken good care of my needs before. / I can't tolerate weakness very well. Not in me, not in others. I want to learn how to lean into my own fragility more and allow it to come to the surface from time to time.

Listening to NOUK and Anna's beautiful voice. I adored her edgy haircut and the long white dress she was wearing.

Sitting outside on the balcony with Franzi and Marie, talking in the dark. / Drinking beer outside Marcus's camper van after class on Saturday.

(Vintage) shopping. I got a cheap yellow plastic ring, a wooden ring holder, a hair clip, and a funny postcard for C.

I got a copy of Psychologie Heute for the train and was surprised to find articles about the topics most relevant to me now: Gestalt Therapy, eating disorders, and especially boundaries.

C. picked me up from the train in Munich. It was lovely to see him but felt a little unfamiliar at first. On the way home he filled me in on his exciting weekend. We had a chat with his neighbors who gave us fresh produce from the garden and plum cake - which was fantastic because the fridge was empty so now we were able to make a big pot of creamy lemon-zucchini pasta. I loved touching each other's warm, naked skin. Reconnecting, tuning in. Going through an elaborate pop-up book together.

Hearing about C.'s very cinematic dream in the morning. Toasted bread with butter and honey for breakfast. Encouragement to become some sort of touch therapist. Apparently I've got magic hands.

Learning about Ursula Schultze-Blum and her fascinating Surrealist art.

Two harmonious, beautiful days at C.'s place. Journalling, drawing, making a shadow frame for the Hilma Af Klint altar piece. Visiting Tobi one evening, creating visions for the cabin and the forest lot. Pizza and a long evening walk with Marcus. Caring for the scared little red cat they caught to bring him to the vet. Watching a spider catch a fly, devouring it violently. Embracing my crazy urges. Eating scrambled eggs on cheese toast. Watching The Broken Circle Breakdown together, researching Bluegrass bands in Munich. Singing together. C. said I should find a Bluegrass band and sing with them instead of my gospel choir.

A summer afternoon outside. Ripping out vines, picking blackberries behind the vegetable garden. Memories of the brambles we had behind our house when I was young. Huge tomatoes, an abundance of beautiful butterflies everywhere. Biting into a ripe plum; vowing to make zucchini cake and plum dumplings when we get back from France.

C. carrying my backpack for me, entertaining me during the wait at the train station. Waving cheerfully after the train doors had closed and I was about to leave.

Drawing the Page of Fire, Playfulness - along with Adventure (Page of Rainbows). Writing about it. And the dream I had about feeling unwanted and criticized at home, trying to leave in overwhelm and chaos. And then there was C., smiling at me, embracing me, not even aware of the perceived hostility.

Emotional release on a physical level. This is new for me. I felt so nervous, was hardly able to hold the feeling in my body. It was unbearable. I ate some granola with almond milk and an apple. Lay down. And then my jaw started shaking uncontrollably. I was crying, grasping for air. I already felt better afterwards.

A hard massage from Pani. Coming back into my body.

Starting our roadtrip with a deep talk about having children. Visiting Kerem (I loved learning about his travels and diving, playing and drawing with his daughter, confusing the cat, looking at his design furniture), Makelove (our afternoon by the river was gorgeous; eggs and mayonnaise, land art, insightful conversations, learning something new about him), and Marjolien (eating salad on her balcony, learning about her passion for constellation work, her love for Tobi). Then we drove all the way over the San Bernardino pass. Enjoyed the view of the austere landscape and even saw a true cowboy up there. Dinner in Torino. Well-deserved sleep.

Making an excellent 90s Ethno-pop playlist on our way over the mountains between Italy and France. And the view from the top! What a lovely road we took.

Try not / to expect / anything - in this way / everything / will open up / to you (Buddhist teaching)

Arriving at Villa Josalie. Buying the most delicious snacks at the French supermarket. The friends dropping in one by one. Drinking wine and eating cheese outside, watching fireworks together.

[sirenjose]

Missing Player-ID: 157716441

Hidden Story/Epilogue - Part 3

Main Story: Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6

Hidden Story: Part 1 Part 2 Part 4 Part 5

Plot Analysis: Part 1 Part 2

Puzzle Solver Analysis

It’s like an old group photo, but I can’t see who it is

“Activity Record: Date: 1994.7.15 Location: Library Conference Room Participants: (unsure of translation here?): Li Weidong, Zhang Hong, Yu Qiuying, Qin Yiying, Zhou Hao, Wang Quangen, Sun Yan, Zhang Wei Volunteers: Zhao Tongshu, Liu Bingsen - Professional lecture "Talking about the key points of psychiatric rehabilitation training" - Self-introduction and psychological development of new members. - Patient and family experience exchange.”

“Professor, I think my wife is a little abnormal, I will go to you after the event today to talk about it. Please don’t tell anyone.”

“October 16th 1998 I just came back from the concert in the evening. My family has been doing well lately. Although my spouse is busy, he’s earning a lot of money, which seems to be much better that before. But there are always regrets in life. For example, today, the phone called him away so I had to stay and watching it all by myself. Even so, careers and children are all part of life, and I can understand that. But I still find it strange, overtime work is fine, but why is it always a business trip to Hong Kong when it’s so expensive. What kind of research is it?”

“September 9th, 2005 Today is the tenth anniversary. It should have been a very happy moment, but I couldn’t be happy. Looking back 10 years ago, in the church, we swore an oath in front of the pastor. Our friends, like us, have happiness and joy on their faces. When I say ‘I do’ I feel that the future is full of beauty. But I didn’t expect to become like this today. I really don’t want to believe it. I am very conflicted, but whenever I think of the situation at the time, I still hold up hope. The good news is that there have been no new suspicious behaviors in a year. For the sake of our daughter, I’ll maintain the appearance of peace and choose to forget what I saw before and to never reveal it, as long as it doesn’t continue. I am still willing to hold out hope.”

“August 14th 2010 I have to deal with it by myself, and I know they have countless ways to destroy evidence. But before that, all of this must be hidden, because I am not sure whether I will incur retaliation after I do it, and I am not in a position to confront them now. If something happens to me, I can only hope that these things will be seen again one day. It’s been a long time since I came out to Orson Villa. I think this should be a suitable place to bury it, with all the memories and hopes of the past.”

“September 8th 2010 The other day, Su Su (?) went to Happy Valley again (water stains). I always wanted to go there, but I didn’t make the trip. It would be nice if my parents came with me. But I can’t get my hopes up, or you’ll be even more upset if you get stood up. Mom has been uncharacteristically late in recent months, but instead (water stains) has started to leave work on time, and seems to be counting on Dad to be more reliable. Latest Information! I just learned that Dad is going to Happy Valley tomorrow, hehe~ He promised to take me there, and he said he will take me to the haunted house, even though I’m scared, I’m still super excited. Dad told me not to tell mom. (Water stains) Of course, you can’t (water stains) skip school, and I’ve said several times that (water stains) I’m not going to be able to sleep.”

This was the wrapping paper used for the package the Detective received that contained all of the daughter’s belongings. The mother said it was old paper she found at home.

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The dots around the coin are Morse code. Read it counterclockwise. (There are 3 gaps, so there are 3 messages).

First: long and short, short and short, short and short, long and short, short, long, short, long, long, long, long, long (decimal point is sunken). Translation: N54.6 W1.0. The corresponding spot on the map is shown.

Second: long short short short short short short long long long long and short, short long short short short short short short short short long. N51.7 W5.3

Third: long short short short short short long long long long long. Long long long long short, short long long long long long. Long long long long short. N50.9 E0.9

Find the center point of the three, which is: N52.4 W1.8. (may be the coordinates of the manor?)

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The girl’s weibo has a string of numbers. Use Baidu telegram code translation and enter the numbers. Says: “I’m so sorry”(?)

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(this is the part where friend tells about the server hacking incident)

(At the bottom of this page is where mysterious man makes a comment)

“I know you’re waiting for me. The previous post was still too flashy, so I came in here. Your friend the old geezer remembers the rules from my test years ago, and he’s right, but that’s obviously not the whole story. We also played the game on the official Identity V Weibo, right after the project was announced. You can also think back. Take the shortest route that the rules allow, and I’ll be waiting for you at the next lotation.”

[the-duckless-pond]

Trying to post a chapter today but struggling to do so. It wasn’t an awful day - pretty average. But without my anxiety meds for another week ish and it’s all compounding and the episodes are lasting a long time. Especially as I continue to adjust to the new sounds and rhythms of the apartment building. Lots of anxiety in the afternoons and evenings that makes it hard to relax and get to a spot where I can post.

But, that being said, last time I posted a chapter I woke up to two comments and that was really nice! I was scared of them for a few hours, but once I checked them I was happy to have read them. And it was fun to wake up to them.

So, I’m slowly making my way to my laptop. Just moved from the living room to the bedroom, and now I’m getting it out of my backpack and onto the bed. I’ve got a few steps - primarily connecting it to my WiFi, but after that it should be easy enough. I want to read the chapter before posting it, but I don’t think I’m there in my anxiety levels just yet. I want to read over the whole story because A) that sounds fun and low impact and like a good distraction for a few days, and B) it might inspire me to finish this chapter I’ve been stuck on and sort of dropped midway when my depression got bad. It helped once before, reading the whole thing, so I am thinking that it will again. Maybe I’ll start doing that tomorrow. That sounds nice.

Okay, laptop is out of the case and booting up. Logged in. Loading. Loaded. And we are on the WiFi now! It was kind of cool - I had my phone unlocked and got a push notification asking if I wanted to share the WiFi password with my laptop. I said yes, and boom it just auto filled in. Never seen that before. That was neat. Okay, back on task. Opening Word. Opening Happenstance. Going to the chapter. Changing chapter status. Opening AO3. Anxiety rising. Pushing through. And in a flurry of activity, it’s up! Phew. Goal achieved.

All I have to do now is clean the litter boxes and I will have achieved every goal I set for the day. That’s a record for the first time in ??? months. Since school ended, at least. It feels nice. I think I’ll do that next.

In other news, I unpacked most of my religious stuff today. It’s been tucked away inside my dresser for about a year, but I think I might find some way to make it more accessible to me. I find it comforting to have. I was also thinking I might say a rosary tonight, since I find that very soothing. I haven’t been to church in ages, but if I could find a progressive one to go to that would be nice. I know there is one downtown, and they offer online Mass so I might check that out next weekend. I intended to today, but my memory has been really bad lately and I didn’t set a reminder to do it. I did set one for this week, so that’s probably going to work out. I have a shot at it, anyway. I don’t know. I just think saying a rosary or starting a chaplet novena or something sounds nice tonight. Maybe I can ask St. Dymphna to pray that my unknown neighbor stops buzzing my fucking buzzer and triggering my panic. She’s a bro about mental health and is def the one to ask about that. Maybe I’ll do that tonight. Her chaplet is super easy and I still remember how to say it. Yeah. I’ll do that. Maybe the rosary too, but I won’t stress it. Those take like 20 min and that feels long tonight. I’ll go slow. Ease myself back in to it.

I am having some negative thoughts tonight. Things like no one wants to be my friend. Mostly that, actually. My best friend has gone dark again, which is fine but is hard when I get like this because I miss her so I text her but then it goes on and on and I feel bad and I go to text her and then delete paragraphs about my day or the cats or my little story because I don’t want to be a bother. And my other close friend is busy training for a new job, so he can’t text a lot. And my mom hates texting. She gets upset about getting messages because typing is hard for her. So I feel bad texting her, so I do the same thing I do with BFF where I write things and then delete them because I feel bad and just stay silent instead. And I haven’t told my sister that I’ve moved yet, because I don’t want to tell her that her kids triggered all this and I don’t know how to have that conversation. And those are the only people I talk to. So mostly I’m spending my days typing things out and then deleting them. It gets lonely. I don’t know. I’m sad about it and it makes me anxious. Maybe my brain is right and no one wants to be my friend and that is why no one talks to me. Maybe. I don’t know. I’m not a good judge of those things.

I got sad again because of that paragraph. I still need to clean the litter boxes, but I just want to lay down now. Get under the covers and pretend I don’t feel this way. I unpacked all my stuffed animals today. Maybe I’ll arrange them in bed with me. It will be less empty that way. Usually the cats sleep with me through the night, but they’ve been getting up before me these past few days so I wake up feeling lonely and listening for them and hearing silence. It makes me sad, but of course they don’t know that. I don’t know. Maybe I’ll push litter boxes to tomorrow. I should do at least one. I guess it wouldn’t be too hard to pick whichever one needs it more and do that, then lay down. I could make a decaf and put it on my box night stand and get under the covers and drink it very carefully since I just washed my sheets. Or I could get up, set the cup to brew, do the litter box, and go back to the couch with the coffee and stay here a little longer. Both sound nice. I guess the first step is starting the cup to brew and cleaning a litter box.

I guess I’ll do that.

[mahpaiam]

5 July 2023

a month ago I thought, oh it's going to be july and Bernardo will forget all about me. Funny. i realize i've had an almost comical love life. it's actually awful. the one time i get in something almost perfect it's taken away from me. how funny.

i've been waking up from nightmares a lot where someone I love has died. i wake up sweaty and feeling the most brutal of emotions. i almost always burst into tears as the adrenaline takes it's toll on me and i get so scared someone I love has died.

My mother came into my room when I was typing this. She laid down next to me and wanted to sleep with me. I hate sleeping with her. It makes me feel like a child. I don’t get any privacy or alone time anymore. All my life is dedicated to now is catering to her emotions. She tried to make conversation but all my replies were blunt and short. I told her i didnt like sleeping with people and she told me to shut my eyes. I know it sounds like a child whining but I cant stop feeling all these emotions. I have no privacy. I have to act super affectionate all the time to her and take care of her. It’s like I have none of myself. I’m always worrying if I’ve made her cry or hurt. I cried and she finally left when I told her I keep losing sleep and can’t stand sleeping with others. I feel so bad, like she’s crying now. But i’m so tired of it. I’m so tired of catering to her emotions all the time. As i was crying, i felt so angry at God. Why was my life constantly being stunted? Why did I have to endure and suffer all this? Why can I never get out? It just didn’t feel fair, like a punishment that didn’t end. What did I do?? How do I make it stop? Why is my life so awful? I just wanted to cry. I prayed so much but nothing ever seems to come true. Barely even. It just feels like a never ending punishment.

I just want to leave. People say it’s only a matter of time. What was the point of putting me through all this pain and then making me endure time to leave? What did that even do?

I just want to stop feeling this way. I pray so much.

Today I think my professor forgot we were meeting. I went to csuf and sat around and did nothing. Got new shoes and went shoppin, church, then home. I flipped out when my aunt said she tried on my shoes. The version of me that’s scared of touch and people touching my things is coming back. She comes back more the longer I’m here. I got so angry and told my dad I hated my aunt. He doesnt know why I hate her but I’d rather everyone be mad at me and think I’m an asshole than tell the truth and be called a liar.

I hate my aunt. I hate this home. I hate my life right now. But my hatred doesn’t come from malicious intentions but rather a lot, lot of pain. Too much pain.

[thelogicalghost]

Encanto + religion

one of these days I will stop having Encanto takes but that day is not today

in usual Disney fashion there's about 0.01% mention of religion in this movie, but Colombia is heavily Christian and primarily Roman Catholic Church (modern day about 90% and 75% respectively) and we do see a church and a person who looks like a priest.

So can we talk more about how this might work - and not work - with the very undeniable miracle and magical gifts of the Madrigals? I'm not Christian or Catholic myself so I'd be fascinated to hear takes from people who are, but thoughts off the top of my head:

Raising mountains to hide refugees is very Old Testament, I could see people treating Alma as a bit of a Moses figure, which is part of why they take anything she says almost as a pronouncement

Julieta's healing fits Catholic sainthood pretty well. She might have gotten a lot of association with the Virgin Mother? Definitely would have been isolating and might have made it hard for her to date if the whole town saw her as a sacred figure

Pepa's gift could go either way. On the one hand Catholicism doesn't like women with power and people definitely might have been scared of her, but on the other hand I could see it being spun as, like, angels love her so much that they bring rain when she's sad and celebrate with rainbows when she's happy

Bruno might have been seen as a prophet when he was a kid, but his gift doesn't fit either the older archetype of the wise man helping his people (since he can't always/ever prevent the bad things he sees) or the newer archetype of someone speaking The Word and converting the masses. His superstitions and rituals probably didn't help, his room definitely echoes old pre-Christian temples. Legit wouldn't be surprised if people started crossing themselves when he looked at them or describing him with demonic terms.

Then we get Isabela and we're right back in happy flower blooming female Catholic saint territory. Maybe that's part of the reason why no one ever pressed her to try growing crops or other kinds of plants?

Meanwhile Dolores has the least flashy gift thus far but hearing voices is right up sainthood ally so maybe angels are whispering to her? Maybe people would ask her really uncomfortable questions she couldn't answer, like, do you hear angels, do you hear Heaven or Hell, do you hear ghosts, etc.

Luisa is Sampson or something, easy, although there might be some awkward sex/gender questions but given everything these people have had to deal with thus far, a girl getting the super strength is honestly low on the ladder of difficult things to rationalize. Definitely would play into the villagers treating her like a free service though if she's being identified with Biblical figures who were given their strength to serve their people or faith

And then Camilo and the religious people are like ?????? I have found exactly zero about shapeshifting in the Bible so this could go any and all directions

Poor Mirabel probably had to deal with people wondering if she didn't get a door because she's unclean or a sinner or something, although anyone who saw the gifts as problematic to the faith might have seen her as the opposite, an innocent pure child born to redeem her family from their strange magics

Antonio talking with animals is easy, luckily, he's like David with the lions or Noah or whatever, he's honestly probably got the easiest gift to rationalize

[angelyuji]

oh my god i loooove TDATT too!! if possible, would you maybe please write something about I’d sheriff bodecker was super protective (dare i say platonically yandere) of his daughter who was with yan!arvin?

reader uses she/her pronouns

cw // possessive and controlling behavior, violence, running away, yandere behavior (let me know if i missed any)

· omggg hhHhhhh i absolutely adore this, and for the sake of this request, pretend like bodecker lives in coal creek lol

· you wouldn’t tell your father that you started dating someone until you were going steady with arvin

· you know how he wasn’t going to react well, so you tried to hold off as long as you could

· but when arvin asked if you would introduce him to your father, you knew you had to at least break the news to your father instead of surprising him

· lee bodecker hates surprises. so, when his baby girl told him that she was dating a boy from church…he was unhappily surprised.

· “…sweetheart. you know what the rules are.”

· “daddy, please. you’ll love him once you meet him!”

· “i-”

· “daddy, arvin’s real sweet to me and you won’t stop me from seeing him.”

· “…one mistake and he’ll have bullet holes in his chest.”

· you sigh, but hug your father, “thank you, daddy.”

· “anything for you, princess”

· arvin would be literally every parent’s dream. he knocks on your door the moment it turns 6:00

· he’ll come in his best outfit with flowers for you and whiskey for your father

· bodecker would be watching arvin’s every move, but no matter how wonderful arvin is in front of lee, he won’t be happy

· “no is no.” he downs his beer and snaps at you for another, ignoring your frustrated groan.

· “wh-what do you mean “no”? arvin was amazing, daddy! he followed every rule, so why don’t you like him!?!” you pull at your hair.

· “i don’t need to explain myself to you, sweetheart. i am your father, so i’ll be making the rules.” your father doesn’t look up at you as he cleans his gun.

· “that’s not fair! daddy, you didn’t even give him a chance!” you slam your hands on the table, the bottle rattled and fell. the crisp smash caused silence to fill the room.

· you can see the rage on your father’s face as he stands up, “y/n m/n bodecker, i am tired of this nonsense. you are MY daughter and if i hear anything about this “arvin” boy again, i’ll lock you in this house.”

· you stay silent as you feel tears build up, you hear him sigh, but you wipe away you’re the stray tears, “i hate you” you spit out and run to your room.

· bodecker sees red, “COME BACK HERE, GIRL.” he hears your door slam shut and muffled sobs filter out.

· he doesn’t mean to isolate you from this boy, but the idea of you leaving him like your mom, it scares him

· you’re his baby, his child, his reason for living, and seeing you fall for arvin made him realize that you’re not gonna be his little girl anymore and that pissed him off

· this arvin took his little girl from him and he’s gonna make him pay for that

· “you stay away from my daughter, boy.”

· “i love her, sir, and she loves me. you can’t stop us from being together.” the sheriff grabs arvin by the collar and slams him against the wall.

· “now you listen, i gave up my world to raise my little girl right. she’s mine and mine only. i ain’t letting some murderer’s son take my baby. you come near her again, i’ll kill you.” arvin stays silent and lee lets go of him. he pats arvin on the shoulder before taking his leave.

· unbeknownst to bodecker, while he was on his shift, you ran away with arvin

· he’d get the call about arvin killing the priest and come home to tell you about your murderous boyfriend

· “y/n! y/n, come here! i got some news to tell you about that friend of yours.” lee smiled gleefully at the news he had to share, but silence greeted him. with a frown, lee sighed and walked to your room.

· he opened the door slowly, “baby, i know you’re upset, but i was right about-” panic set in lee’s heart as he scanned the room. you’re gone.

-

[midnightstar-90]

Live Laugh Love~ Georgie Cooper x Reader

Poker, Faith, and Eggs

Summary: Sheldon's faith is shaken when his dad goes to the hospital.

Narrator's POV

Today felt like any other day for the Coopers. Missy would be doing what any little girl would be doing, and that was dressing up while rocking out to her favorite song. You could find Y/N and Georgie trying to one-up each other's trick shots while throwing firecrackers. And last but not least you could find Sheldon playing cards with Meemaw. There was one reason today wasn't like most, and that's because of one hospital visit.

Y/N'S POV

Yesterday Night

"Hey Georgie," I called out before I did the splits in the air and throwing the firecracker. Georgie watched in amazement, but when I turned to him he looked as if he wasn't impressed. "How did that song go again? 'Anything you can do, I can do better," Georgie told me. Georgie tried to do the move I did, but it didn't turn out the way he had hoped. I laughed and said, "I think you should stick to football. I'm gonna go get a drink." As I walked in I heard a "Yeah, okay".

I walk back into the house and see Sheldon and Meemaw playing cards. "Hi, Meemaw. Hi, Sheldon." They both said hello back then continued their game. I grab myself a glass of water and decide to watch the two play their game.

"I bet a nickel," Sheldon said after flinching from hearing a firecracker. "Are they really that scared of the firecrackers?" I thought inside my head still watching them play. MeeMaw stops the game to teach Sheldon what a poker face is. I don't think Sheldon understood because he still thought that Meemaw had bad cards, which led Sheldon to decide to not fold. MeeMaw ended up winning.

I smiled and shook my head. Sheldon was upset about his loss. I went over to Sheldon and gave him a side hug before saying, "Don't feel bad, Sheldon. I just beat your brother in a trick-shot battle. Sorry if the sounds scared you." MeeMaw congratulated me and Sheldon said, "Really? You guys had us jumping in our seat with that battle, AND he's still going." "I know. I'm sorry," I told Sheldon while messing up his hair. Sheldon fixed his hair, and then Mary walked into the house.

"Mom I'm home. What's he doing up?" Mary asked walking into the kitchen. Meemaw replies with "losing" when another firecracker goes off. Everyone jumps but me, leaving a smirk on my face. George goes to check it out. "Wrong timing dude," I said to myself, holding my head down. Before George makes it out the door Meemaw says, "I sent Georgie and Y/N on a beer run, and tipped them with firecrackers." Mary and George look at me, and I just look away.

Missy scared me when she ran down the stairs yelling, "I ATE SO MUCH CANDY!". Meemaw takes the silence and looks from Mary as a sign to leave. As Meemaw leaves, Georgie pops another firecracker. Everyone but me again jumps, making me laugh. Mary gives me an angry look, which makes me laugh harder.

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Present Day

Meemaw, Missy, Sheldon, Mary, and I were all at church.  Pastor Jeff explains to the church how he knows there is a god. When Pastor Jeff said that his logic of if there is a god was math, Sheldon and I cringed so hard. Mary was listening and loving everything she was hearing.

(Y/N's Church Dress)

I knew something was going to happen between Pastor Jeff and Sheldon, and I was right. Sheldon raises his hand and says, "that's wrong." Mary tries to keep the attention off of her family, but Pastor Jeff reassures her. "Sheldon, is it? Why don't you come on up here and tell me how I'm wrong," Pastor Jeff tells Sheldon. Everyone was still looking at us. I was holding in my laugh, and Mary elbowed me.

Everyone in the family knew how Sheldon gets when he proves people wrong, which left a concerned face on both Mary and Meemaw. Missy woke up from her nap, just as Sheldon walked past her. Sheldon sits with Pastor Jeff and tells him how he has mixed up possibilities with probabilities. Meemaw and I watch and comment to each other about how their conversation would go. MeeMaw was my second favorite "Cooper" family member, but she was super close to Georgie in the Cooper family battle. Sheldon looked defeated on that battle against the pastor, but I knew with all my heart that that would not be the last time we have a Sheldon V.S. Pastor Jeff battle.

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Georgie and I were in the backyard, on the swing set. We laughed and had a nice conversation. "I saw some of your practice today," Georgie said as we calmed down from our laugh. I quickly responded to Georgie with a smile, "Yeah, was I good?" Georgie smiled and looked at me before saying, "Well, I don't know much about cheerleading, but you looked good when you did that backflip."

I don't think Georgie meant I looked good the way I thought he meant I looked good. I just turned my head towards the boy, and both of our faces were close together. We stared at each other for about a minute before Georgie broke the silence, "I also saw Sarah fall, which was pretty funny." I looked away, laughing with a slight blush on my cheeks. "I think we should go inside," I say quickly, trying to help release the tension. "Yeah"

We walked into the house, and the tension was instantly higher than outside. Georgie sees Meemaw and asks what's going on. Missy just comes right out and says, "Dad's in the hospital." Georgie and I look at each other with a concerned look. "Why is George in the hospital?" I asked turning back to the trio. Meemaw says he's gonna be fine, but Sheldon interrupts saying, George had chest pains. Georgie fights Meemaw on going to the hospital, Meemaw says he'll be fine.

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All of us kids are sitting on the couch while MeeMaw checked the fridge for something. The phone rang, and Meemaw quickly answered it. I wasn't as scared for George as Georgie was. It's not because I don't care, but because I knew George. George is strong, and he would fight to be with his family.

The person I was worried about was Georgie. Georgie was always close with his father. I know with all my heart that Georgie will do anything in his power to make sure his father was okay. The best I can do is comfort him during this troubling time. I don't know much from when I was three, but I know from the stories told, that Georgie helped me when my parents died.

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11 years ago

Narrator's POV

Y/N and the Coopers were at Y/N's Parents' funeral. For a 3-year-old, Y/N was the saddest person in the whole building. The priest asked if there were any last words, and Y/N raised her hand. Everyone was shocked because the 3-year-old could barely talk. How could she say goodbye to her parents forever?

"Mommy, daddy, I know you are here. It kinda like hide and seek, except I stay here and you watch and protect me. I will miss you, but this isn't goodbye." The little girl said. Everyone felt bad that the girl knew what was happening.

Bedtime

Y/N and Georgie laid on their beds, which were in Georgie's room. Mary tucked Georgie in before making her way to Y/N's bed. Mary teared up seeing the girl. "You are so strong. And you're smart. You amazed everyone with your speech to your parents. I know you don't see it, but they are looking over you, and god is also," Mary said to the grieving toddler. Y/N looks at the woman and says, "Well, my mommy told me, on the day my grandma died, that she was looking after me."

Georgie was watching the whole interaction between his mom and new friend. When Mary walked out of the room after turning out the lights, Georgie jumped up from his bed and laid next to his soon-to-be best friend. He gave her a hug and held her until she fell asleep, with him soon following. That was the first time the two ever laid together when one was upset.

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Present Day

The four kids stood around a counter, waiting on news about their father. Sheldon breaks the silence, "What'd she say?" Connie tells the kids that the doctors are running some tests, but George would most likely be okay. Connie tells Missy and Sheldon to go get ready for bed, and Georgie continues to fight Connie on seeing his father. After the fight, Y/N follows Georgie to his room.

Y/N's POV

"Your father will be okay," I say sitting on Georgie's bed, trying to calm him down, but he continues to pace. "Are you gonna talk to me? We always talk to each other when we're upset." I don't get a response, but I do hear him mumbling. "What are you mumbling about?" Georgie just walks out of the room. I follow him out, rolling my eyes, and he turns and shhhs' me. Georgie walks up to Sheldon and Missy and asks them if they want to come with him to see their father.

We sneak out the back to get Meemaw's keys. Georgie shhs' me, I do it to Sheldon, and Sheldon does it to Missy. "Who do I shh?" We all turn back to Missy and shhh her. We continue to sneak, and I see that she fell asleep with a cigarette in her hand. 'That's not safe.' I thought. Georgie quickly grabs Meemaw's keys. Sheldon and Georgie have a quick argument, then we head out.

Missy heads for the front seat when I come behind her and tell her to beat it. Missy rolls her eyes and gets into the backseat. When I get in, I immediately go to turn on the radio. "What are you doing?" Georgie asked, stressed from worrying about his father. "I thought music would lighten the mood. Also, I know how you drive, and we need something to kill time." Georgie rolls his eyes and tells me to turn it off. Missy watches the two and says, "Could you guys stop acting like a married couple, and get this car moving?" Georgie and I look at each other once again, before we turn away blushing. We all buckle up, which I don't think Sheldon needs. The boy looks like a human punching bag.

Georgie drives worse than I thought. We hit several curbs and trashcans before I tell Georgie to stop the car. "Do you even know how to get to the hospital?" Missy asks Georgie. "Yeah, it's across from the Dairy Queen," Georgie answers Missy. "Nope, get out," I say, getting out of the car. "What are you doing?" "Switching spots with you. Now, get out." Georgie gets out also, and switches with me. I start driving and the ride is much smoother than when Georgie drove.

We see an ambulance, and I speed up and follow it. "Why are you following an ambulance?" Georgie asked me. "How are we friends? Ambulance equals hospital. Hospital equals your father." Georgie thinks about it and says an extended "Oh".

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"Mom," Sheldon yells, running to his mother. "Meemaw, there you are. We looked back and didn't see you in the hallway. We were basically lost," I said, gaining a knowing look from Meemaw. We all let Mary know that we want to see George. Mary questions why we're here, but Meemaw used a bluff.

"Georgie, hand me my keys," Meemaw says with her hand out. "Actually, I have them. By the way, If there are any dents, Georgie switched halfway through," I say. Meemaw then explains to us, that if we want the benefits of her watching us, then we can't tell, Mary about any of this. We all agree with Meemaw.

Georgie and I sit down. Georgie and I use each other as pillows, with my head on his shoulder, and his head on my head. "Your father will be okay. He's strong, and so is his son," I reassured Georgie. "Yeah, thanks" I see Sheldon and immediately take him under my arm and let him rest. I fall asleep right after him.

I wake up to Mary saying George will be fine. She then invites us to see George. Georgie walk to the hospital room with both of us in a side hug.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Narrator's POV

The Coopers were ALL at church again, and Pastor Jeff and Sheldon were back at it again. Y/N and Georgie were cracking up. "This is what you miss every week," I say to Georgie. Mary and George come to the conclusion, that faking a heart attack could get them out of the argument. So, that's what they did. Y/N was disappointed that they didn't get to finish their argument, but she got more time with her family, and that is what matters.

[fanficshiddles]

Zigzag, Chapter 9

‘He has a partner.’ Grace said to Tom the next day when they were just relaxing on the sofa watching a movie.

‘I know, I read the letter.’ Tom chuckled, kissing the top of her head. He had his arm wrapped around her while she snuggled into him.

‘I just… I can’t get my head around it all. Why he sent me a letter. Does his girlfriend, or boyfriend? Know about what he does? So many questions!’ She sighed.

‘You’re letting him in your thoughts a lot… Should I be jealous?’ Tom asked jokingly, squeezing her side playfully, making her laugh.

‘No. I mean… I don’t know, would it be weird to say it is rather thrilling that a serial killer chose me to get in contact with? That it’s exciting to write about him, I don’t know.’ She blushed, sliding her hand into Tom’s shirt.

‘Not weird at all, love. I guess it’s the danger that makes it so thrilling.’ He hummed.

‘I guess…’ She sighed.

Tom chuckled and grabbed hold of her, pulling her over onto his lap so she was straddling him. She put her arms around his neck and smiled when he nuzzled his nose against hers.

‘Don’t ever feel bad for how you feel. I want you to know you can tell me anything, love. Anything at all.’ He said as he slipped his hands under her top, tickling up her back.  

She shuddered under his touch and leaned in again to kiss him. The kiss went from sweet to hungry and passionate very quickly.

Tom was about to flip her over on the sofa, but Grace had other ideas. She slipped off him and down to the floor. She grinned up at him as she slid her hands up his thighs, reaching for his belt. She unbuckled him in a hurry, unzipped his jeans and reached in, easily finding her goal.

Tom let his head fall back as she gripped his cock and pulled him free. He moaned when she started stroking him languidly at first, until a bead of pre cum seeped out at his tip, then she leaned down and took him into her mouth.

She quickly went to town on him, sucking him down her throat as far as she could, moaning around him. Tom was in utter bliss, moaning and grunting as she worked her magic. He then reached down, unable to resist sliding his fingers through her hair, taking hold of her tightly and forcing her further down just as he came, making her swallow him all.

‘Ohhhhh, yes!’ He cried out as she kept sucking him until he was completely spent.

With a grin, she climbed up over him as she licked her lips. She grabbed his face and kissed him, he slipped his hands round to her bum and squeezed as she started grinding against him.

‘I think we should take this to the bedroom.’ He growled over her lips.

‘I think so too.’ She agreed.

-

A month had passed since Grace received her first letter, when another one arrived for her from Zigzag.

Dear Grace

I thought I would allow you into the scoop first. A chance perhaps, for you to get an up-close look at my work before the police get their hands on it.

By the time you read this letter, I will be with my next victim. If you make it in time to the graveyard, by the large oak tree, you can be the one to find and call it in. With some extra time to view it over for yourself, if you wish.

I know your readers love the details you add to your work.

Of course, you could just call the police now and tell them where to go. But I will leave that decision up to you.

Zigzag

Grace couldn’t believe it. Part of her thought she should just go straight to the police, tell them. Hand in the letter. But there was another part of her, one that was super curious… She just had to go and take a look.

Surely if the police didn’t find out about this letter, it wouldn’t do any harm.

Before she knew it, she was grabbing her jacket and car keys on her way to the door. She couldn’t be out of her home quick enough.

When she arrived at the graveyard it was just starting to get dark. She quickly made her way to the large oak tree and just like Zigzag said, there was a body propped up against it. Hands across his chest and the signature zigzag mark on his cheek.

‘Holy shit.’ Grace breathed out. It took her a moment before she went closer, to take a better look.

Judging by the look of the body, she knew he had been strangled too. There was a line around his neck, something thin had been used. Part of her was starting to think that Tom’s idea of The Choker wasn’t such a bad nickname now.

But Grace recognised the man, it was the man who ran Sunday school at the church. There had been rumours that he was abusing the kids. But the police had no evidence on him. Some parents thought it was false so continued to send their kids to him… Grace had always found him to be creepy, so had many others. Including kids that were scared of him.

She looked down beside of him and spotted a shoe lace. Her eyes widened as she realised that’s what Zigzag had used on him. But it was unusual for Zigzag to leave the murder weapon. Had he gotten careless? Perhaps been disturbed?

Not sure what came over her, she picked up the lace and stuffed it quickly into her pocket before phoning the police. She had to wait for them to arrive, so she took note of as much detail as possible of the body before she was then questioned about her find. It wasn’t unplausible for her to be there in the graveyard, because her parents were buried a mere few feet away.

It was mid evening before she got home, Tom was home by that point and looked concerned when she finally got in.

‘Where were you, love?’ He asked as he greeted her at the door with a hug and a kiss.

‘I… I got a letter from Zigzag again.’ She pointed to the pile of mail at the side.

Tom frowned as he picked it up and read through it. ‘Please tell me you didn’t go there?’ He looked concerned.

Grace bit her lower lip. ‘I uhm… I did. I know, it was stupid!’ She said quickly when Tom ran a hand down his face. ‘But I just… I felt drawn to it, I had to. The police are there now anyway. It was the guy who runs the Sunday school, you know the one that was accused of abusing the kids?’

Tom ran his hands up and down Grace’s arms. ‘Grace, as glad as I am that he is not of this world anymore, I worry about you. What if it had been a trap and Zigzag was trying to lure you there? I’d never forgive myself if anything happened to you, darling.’ He leaned down and pressed his forehead against hers with a sigh.

‘I know, Tom… I know. But as strange as it sounds, I don’t think Zigzag would hurt me. Why would he write to me and he did save me too, remember? If he wanted to kill me, I think he would’ve done it by now.’ She said softly, sliding her arms around him.

‘I guess so.’ Tom sighed.

‘There uh… Is one more thing though. You’re probably gonna be mad…’ She said quietly, biting her lower lip as she looked up at him.

‘What did you do?’ He frowned, raising an eyebrow at her.

‘I think Zigzag must’ve been distracted or something. Because I think he used a shoe string to strangle the guy… It was lying next to the body. I might have… picked it up and taken it away from the scene…’

Tom took a big deep breath and pinched the bridge of his nose. ‘Where is it now?’

‘In my pocket.’ She said sheepishly, pointing to the jacket she had just hung up.

‘I’ll burn it, just in-case. But you shouldn’t have taken it, Grace. What if that is hard evidence and has his DNA on it? They might have been able to get him!’ Tom went over to her jacket and fished out the lace.

‘I know, I know… But is it bad that I… I kinda, don’t want him to get caught? I mean, he is getting rid of the bad guys in the city. How is that a bad thing? It’s not like he’s on a killing spree killing anyone and everyone.’ Grace and Tom knew she was just trying to justify her actions more to herself than to Tom.

‘I know, love. But killing is still not right, if he can murder another human being, no matter what it is they did, it still makes him a very dangerous man.’ Tom said softly, not wanting to be angry with her.

Grace put her hands over her face. ‘You’re right… I know. It was stupid of me… I won’t do anything like that again.’

‘Promise?’ Tom took her hand and gave her a squeeze.

‘I promise.’ Grace nodded.

Tom smiled and pressed a kiss on top of her head, then he went to the living room to chuck the lace in the fireplace.

He smirked as he watched it disappear amongst the flames.

That particular lace wasn’t the one he used. He had left it, out of interest, to see what Grace did. It didn’t have his prints on it, of course. He was careful, just in-case she hadn’t noticed it or had left it.

He was rather surprised at the fact she took it home. But glad at the same time…

[chiwhorei]

hi im Sinner™ but my biggest fantasy rn is being endeavour's young second wife who he bless with gifts and his huge dick every day but im a dumb bimbo so when his sons definition of spending family time is just me getting filled up to the brim with todoroki cum i don't say anything i mean it's kind of strange but it's just some good old "family time" :3

Family Game Night

warnings: dark themes- okay this one is pretty dark under the cut, please read at your own discretion, includes: pseudo-incest, incest (the boys fuck you together but not each other), dubcon, cheating, blackmail, a little stalking, hard dom, rough sex, mentions of public sex

all characters are aged up, 18+ 

word count: ~800 i didn’t really proof read this either so there’s probably some errors

i’m just... sorry...

okay, so.. wow. haha.. i.. yes, let’s go there. I really had to stop myself from turning this into a full length 7k fic so if this turns out super long i’m really sorry

so while Endeavor is trying to go through his redemption arc ( he’s an asshole, but i am also a dumb bimbo and big beefy daddy can and would be allowed to ✨raw✨ me) he gets remarried and you are his sweet submissive lil trophy wife

you hang off of his arm at fancy dinners and events, and honestly no one is surprised that Enji remarried a woman the same age as his kids (and, who’s going to point that out to him? lol i value my head)

it’s honestly the life, fancy trips, lavish gifts, getting split in half on Enji’s cock every night

the only down side are the “family dinners” where your new husband’s sons look at you like they want to eat you alive

it would make sense that they dislike you, but that’s not really the vibe your getting, every time your eyes meet either Shoto or Natsuo’s it feels like they’re trying to undress you

the way that the two boys look at each is strange too, like they’re talking about something you aren’t privy to

after the boys meet you, they actually end up coming around more. they are both adults with their own live, but family dinners become a normal occurrence

enji is shocked that his sons are starting to warm up to him and his pretty new wife, it almost feels like a normal family

haha, almost

 it starts out small, Natsuo hugs you extra tight when he sees you ( you don’t see the taunting, almost sadistic smile he shoots his father when his hands wrap a little low on your waist)

Shoto, taking the lead of his older brother, starts touching you in seemingly innocent ways, like a lingering hand as he passes you or sitting close to you on the couch when their father is in the other room

and since you’re a dumb little bimbo you don’t really think too much of it all

one day you’re sitting at home, Enji is working late so you’re all alone at home wearing one of your husbands big shirts and a little pair of lacy panties, and you here the front door open

but it’s not enji that walks in.. it’s his sons

as soon as they see you in the doorway, bare legs and sweet curious eyes, their plan is in full swing

“You know y/n, our dear old dad’s always been a selfish man. I think it’s high time he learned how to share.” Natsuo says and as quickly as those sinfully intended words leave his mouth, the two men are on either side of you. You’re caged in by the two much larger men, both sets of eyes boring into you with a malicious fire. You’re confused, and a little scared, but mostly (and shamefully so) ridiculously turned on.

The Todoroki brothers put you in a lot of compromising positions that night on their fathers bed, and you’re fucked raw and completely stupid. you don’t know anything else but taking Todoroki cum down your throat, on your tits, and deep in your little cunny. You don’t even register the click of a camera as you’re getting ruined

that night, as enji is laying in bed next to your sleeping form, he gets a text from Shoto with a picture of his precious little wife covered in tears and cum

“Here’s how it’s going to go old man, Natsuo and I will play ‘well-adjusted family’ and not send these pictures to every news outlet in japan, and we get to fill your precious little fuck doll whenever we want.” 

so, definitely not a typical dynamic, but you’re too fucked stupid to really think about it too hard

and to the outside world, everything looks totally normal. Mr. Number 1 hero has a pretty little housewife and successful children 

what they don’t seem to notice, is the “friendly” way Shoto dances with you at a hero gala

what they don’t here are the disgusting things he whispers into the shell of your ear as his father is shmoozing with execs and other older pro’s

and they definitely don’t notice when you two disappear in the middle of dinner and return with a subtle sheen of sweat and a bruised ass cheek

now, this game has gone on for months at this point, but there’s one Todoroki son missing isn’t there? 

(in my church, Dabi is Toya Todoroki)

I headcannon that Dabi keeps tabs on his piece of shit father, so when he sees that he got a pretty new wife he is unreasonably irritated by it

he hates his father, obviously, and has played out plenty of revenge fantasies throughout the years, but when he’s watching the house and sees Natsuo leaving with with a half undone dress shirt and says goodbye to you with a slap on the ass well...

he’s got to get in on their family game night’s too

anyways, achem

amen 😇🙏🏽

Sinners Anonymous