#i was so sick while writing half of this
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kasdan · 1 year ago
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hey!! can I request a frank castle x fem!reader, where the reader is a vigilante too and they run into each other for the first time and frank is all intrigued and stuff. you can decide how this goes!!! thank you <3
Safe Haven
marvel masterlist
a/n: ty for requesting anon<33 this was written while i was sick so my mind was really spacey so i apologize if anything seems off. i also had no idea how to end it so maybe i do a pt 2??😭
pairing: frank castle x vigilante!fem!reader
warnings: drink spiking (not to reader), douchebag men, injury, frank’s a little tease, no use of y/n, not proofread
word count: 2.4k
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I sat on the edge of the rooftop, eyes scanning the streets below, following the moves of my next target. He moved in a swift overly confident manner, like he wasn’t late for a date by over an hour. 
I’d had to endure watching his date sitting patiently waiting for him since she sat down an hour ago, turning down the waitress every time she came over to ask if she was ready to order. She looked to be almost about to leave the restaurant multiple times before she thought against it and continued to wait. She looked like she was about to just give up before the man she was waiting for strolled through the doors of the restaurant and sat down across her, barely saying anything before opening the menu in front of him.
The woman’s face lit up when she finally saw that she wasn’t alone anymore and started enthusiastically talking to him as he continued to look over the menu paying no attention to what the person sitting across from him is saying. 
He kept pouring more wine in her glass and when she shook her head at him for no more, he continued to do so with water instead, while barely sipping his own drink. I knew what he was doing, and it was confirmed when she suddenly excused herself to go towards the restroom in the back of the restaurant.
He called the waitress over for a refill in the glass that she didn’t even drink half of, shamelessly flirting with her while she did so, and waited until she walked away before reaching into his jacket to quickly put something into her drink. My hand gripped the side of the building, fighting everything in me to just charge into the restaurant and throw him through the first window I saw. I hated it, but I had to be patient.
I watched as the woman goes back and sits down at the table, her glass closer to her hand from the man across from her pushing it closer to where she could reach it easier, and it seemed it worked when she reached over to quickly take a sip almost instinctively. I knew it would only cause a few minutes for whatever he put in the drink to kick in, and I went to swiftly make my way off of the rooftop.
I got down to the ground in record time, using the shadows to conceal me so no one even realized I was there. I waited against the wall of the alleyway next to the restaurant, knowing he would use the darkness of it to try and hide what was going on.
I waited a few minutes before I could hear the shuffle of feet on the concrete from people walking into the entrance to the alley. I knew it was him. I could hear his whispering from where I stood and it made my skin crawl.
I didn’t wait any longer to jump out from my place and pry him away from the off balance woman, causing him to hit the wall on the opposite side. I quickly made sure that she didn’t fall to the ground before I direct my focus back on the man that was still recovering from the impact.
“What the-“ I didn’t give him any room to say anything before I kicked his chest back into the wall, forcing his head to clash into the brick. His body fell to the ground and I didn’t care to look to see if he was still alive, my sole focus being on the shaking woman on the ground in front of me.
“Do you have a phone?” I asked her and she attempted to reach her pocket, but ended up only grazing over the pocket it was in. ��I’m going to grab it okay?” She barely nodded, bleary eyes struggling to stay open and I reached into her pocket to pull out her phone.
I dialed 911, placing the phone in her lap before standing back up. “Help will be here soon.” I reassured her and made my way out of the alley, knowing the man wouldn’t be waking up any time soon, if he could at all. I worked my way up to a rooftop to sit and wait for the ambulance to get there, just to be safe.
The ambulance got there in record time, and I watched as they helped the woman out of the alley, and rolled the man out on a stretcher. I let out a breathy sigh before making my way back to my apartment, job done for the night.
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A week later and I was back to staking out another target. However, I felt an off feeling all day that I couldn’t seem to place. I brushed it off as nothing in order to focus on the person I was tracking.
I found myself sitting on the rooftop of an abandoned building, this time in a more secluded area. Watching my target for the evening, it seemed he was waiting on the other woman to show up, and he didn’t like the waiting.
I heard a noise behind me causing me to whip my body around to face it, hand reaching for one of the throwing knives on my hip. I squinted through the darkness, but didn’t see anything and I didn’t have the time to turn my attention elsewhere for the time being.
Looking back towards the building, I found the man standing up angrily from the table he was at, heading towards the exit of the building. I hesitated slightly in going down there when I haven’t seen him actually spike anything firsthand, but my research had never been wrong before and I had no reason not to trust it.
I quickly made my way down from the rooftop not wasting any more time so I could intersect the man before he could leave. It was a good thing that the area I was in was more secluded with no one on the streets when I had to yank the man into the alley from the sidewalk he was angrily stomping on.
He definitely wasn’t expecting to be dragged into the alley out of nowhere and immediately started to claw at my arms that had a hold on him. His was significantly larger than I was, which made it more difficult for me to try and get a full grip on him, but I still managed to hang onto him.
However, I seem to underestimate the strength of him when he managed to push me off of him, causing me to crash to the ground on my back. I didn’t have time to think about the pain going down my spine when I had to roll to the side to dodge the heavy boot that hit the ground with a thud next to my head.
I took this as my opportunity to swipe my feet under his legs, making him lose balance  and fall to the ground next to me. I quickly flip up to lean over him, knee digging into his throat in an attempt to get him to pass out quickly.
He struggled under me and I pressed my knee harder into his neck making it harder for him to breathe, and I think that he finally passed out before I felt a sharp pain connect to the outside of my thigh and I cry out, releasing the hold I had on him. I looked down to see the handle of a knife sticking out of the material of the suit I wore.
The man under me used the distraction to push me off of him and work his way up to his feet, swaying slightly as he did so. He marched over to where my body was, towering over me and I used all the strength I had left in order to use the leg without the knife in it to kick him backwards from me, attempting to give me more time.
The kick did little to deter him and he was stomping back over to me, face angrier than ever, and my mind was scrambling on what to do when a gun shot sounded in the air and the man in front of me stumbled, blood dripping from the bullet hole in his forehead, and he fell backwards onto the ground.
I pushed my body up to a seated position staring at the lifeless body in front of me before my gaze shot up to the rooftop on where the shot came from; the same rooftop I had come from minutes before.
I saw slight movement coming from the roof and I pushed myself off the ground, wincing slightly from moving the knife still lodged in my thigh. I forced myself to ignore the pain and moved as quickly as I could back to the rooftop I was once on.
I made it back to the roof in record time, considering the predicament I was in, and made my way towards the edge where I saw the movement from. I looked around, not seeing anything out of the ordinary or any more movement in the darkness of the rooftop.
There was only one way up and down the roof I was on, unless you jump down onto the stairs for the fire escape, but you would need extreme agility to jump on them to not make any noise, and I passed no one on stairs going up. Someone should have still been on the roof, how could I have missed them?
“Y’know I was kinda hopin’ you would come back up here.” A voice sounded behind me and I quickly turned my body towards the sound of the noise. 
A shadowed figure stood leaning against the door that leaded to the roof, and my hand went to move for one of the knives on my hip before I thought against it, my body not sensing like I was in immediate danger at the moment. 
The guy seemed to notice this before a chuckle left his mouth. “One of those woulda come in handy when you were getting your ass handed to ya wouldn’t it?” Two sentences in and I could tell this guy was an enormous tease.
“I was not getting my ass handed to me, I had it under control.”
“Was this before or after you got a knife jabbed into you?” I was rendered speechless for a moment before I let out a small scoff and couldn’t help my mouth twitch up in amusement.
“Wha- okay, who are you?” He pushed himself off the door and started to walk towards me, face looking extremely familiar as soon as he stepped more into the light. It didn’t click until he stood directly in front of me, arm outstretched for a handshake.
“Frank Castle.” I finally understood where I’ve seen him before, Frank Castle, The Punisher, his trial was all over the news you’d have to be living under a rock to not who he was living in New York.
“Didn’t think I’d be talking to a dead man when I woke up today.” I took his hand shaking it quickly before dropping it and he chuckled, looking at the ground head shaking. He ignored the statement, eyes instead trained on my leg.
“Need to get that out.” I looked down to where he was looking at the knife that still remained stuck inside my thigh.
“I’ll be fine.”
“Afraid it’s non negotiable c’mon.” He turned from me starting to walk towards the door to the exit of the roof.
“And I’m just supposed to follow some stranger?” I called out after him and he stops holding the door open.
“Well it’s either that or you pass out from the blood loss after taking the knife out and then bleed out on your own.” I part of me knew he was right, I probably wouldn’t have time to stop all the bleeding before I got dizzy from the blood loss, so I begrudgingly followed him through the door.
Apparently his apartment wasn’t that far away from where we were when we stop outside the building after a two minute car ride.
I’m able to get out of the vehicle without much pain, adrenaline still running largely in my veins, even though I don’t think Frank’s going to be a threat, my body still wanted to be prepared for anything.
He lead me into the small bathroom he had in his apartment, getting out a first aid kit from under the sink. “Probably gonna have to cut this off.” He motions to my pants, holding a pair of scissors and I regretted wearing a one piece suit in that moment. “Here,” he handed me a shirt that was sitting on the edge of the sink, giving me an opportunity to take the top of the suit off while he leaves the bathroom in order to try and give me some privacy.
I unzipped the suit working my arms out of the sleeves and pushed it down as far as I could without bumping the knife. I put the shirt over my head and tried to cut the rest of the suit off, but I finally felt the loss of blood kick in and started to get dizzy and not have the strength to continue to cut the thick fabric. 
I called Frank back into the bathroom and he rushed in, hearing the change in my voice. “You alright?” He shut the door behind him as he walked further into the bathroom.
I just nodded my head, resting it on the wall next to me, and putting the scissors on the edge of the sink. “I just-” I took a minute to catch my breath. “I can’t cut it off.”
Frank nodded and bent down in front of me, grabbing the scissors to cut off the rest of the suit. At that point my vision started to blur and I relied on the wall next to me to keep my head held up as much as it was.
I could hear Frank saying something, but my brain made it all muffled so I wasn’t able to comprehend anything. I felt my body jolt when the knife was suddenly removed from my skin, hearing more muffled sounds from Frank after it happened.
Before I knew it, I was being lifted up and leaned against Frank as he brought me into the bedroom setting me on the bed. I tried opening my mouth to protest and tell him to just put me on the couch, but I don’t think I was able to get anything out but quiet mumbles.
I felt warmth encompass me and eventually gave into the darkness threatening to surround me since I’ve gotten into the bathroom, weirdly feeling content in a complete strangers bed.
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buy me a coffee ♡
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scarletanpan · 14 days ago
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Got a sticker yay pls fellow Americans pls for the love of god go out and vote
#pic#personal#nonfunctional rn but i will get my ass up and vote thats for sure#its awful tho more than half the positions only had rep candidates.. had to do write ins#honestly highkey scared esp bc ppl are talking abt some green party revolution that doesnt exist#like sorry id love to not vote for the centrist right dems either its awful but#unless u can convince every superdelegate to vote green on election night to even have a chance#like pls i hate kamala too but trump will take away our rights to even fight back#the govs been so useless these 4 yrs partially bc trump destabilized it so bad#like the Supreme court gave him presidential immunity that might take yrs to be resolved#it was just this year. him getting in office only seals the deal for everyone involved#ig part of it im seeing a lot of blk nondems are getting berated for voting blue and ppl are weaponizing the genocide#which cruel firstly. secondly trump is the scariest option hes ten toes down on israel.#why would u even chance wasting ur vote against the literal white supremacist he would only further the destruction substantially#like im sorry i just. i need to see a free palestine this is the best chance#unfortunately this country is sick to its core and biden is quite literally older than israels inception#so while its truly horrific its expected and the only thing we can do is mitigate it#and as someone who lives in ga. theres too many trump vance signs everywhere I just cant#going back to my depression hole good luck yall
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singeart · 2 months ago
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11, 18, and 20 plz!!!!!!! :3
11. How long, on average, do you spend on one piece of artwork?
This took me a few hours, maybe 2-3?
More complex pieces like this one always take at least 10 to line and render and that doesn't count the sketch phase which can involve many do-overs and which I haven't kept track of before because it would make me sad lol 🥲
18. How many WIPs do you currently have?
I'm actively working on:
7 drawings
2 fics
💀
20. Any advice for artists working through burnout or an art block?
When I'm feeling uninspired after finishing a big piece I've found it helps to just watch a couple of movies completely unrelated to the shows I make fanart for. Usually afterwards I feel refreshed and ready to get back into things so my advice would be to engage in media outside your usual genre (or medium), then rinse and repeat until something sparks inspiration 👏
Thank you!! ❤️
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lesbians-all-the-way-down · 6 months ago
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My friend: I can't think while I'm at work
Me, at work, earlier that day: word for word writing a fic In my head
#not a happy one either#out here in the pharmacy aisles thinking about comas#(old news)#but it was like Elsie calling her mom and her mom asking how everyone was#namely how Elsie (heart failure) and Finch (fetus whos host is going into heart failure) are doing#and Elsie says that shes been having contractions but shes hiding them from her doctors#(even though she thinks its Braxton hicks)#and her mom yells at her and asks why she would do that and Elsie says she doesn't want to have this baby without her wife#because her wife Atticus has been in a coma for about a week after an aneurysm ruptured + she hemorrhaged and seized#and her mom is about to say like “a life for a life” vibes. when a baby is born someone dies. that's how it works#and Elsie yells at her because a) what the fuck and b) why would god choose to kill her HEALTHY wife after making Elsie so sick?#why wouldn't he take Elsie if he needed a life for a life?#anyway i wrote it when i got home lmao#and now im at work again but this time it was filling waters.#and while i was doing that i was day dreaming about Rainey and Lyria and Remus#it was a nicer daydream (Rainey and Lyria going to get icecream but Rainey has no cash. Remus has 100$)#but i knew Remus had to ve hurt or she wouldn't be there (third wheeling AND She and Lyria don't get along)#so i was trying to figure out the timeline and decided on when she tried to kill herself so Rainey is watching her#and all I thiught was: (annoyed) i promsie not to kill myself in the next half an hour 😒#(while they run to town to get icecream together and she's left at home)#james is rambling again#ocs#rambling#thoughts#writer#writing#original character
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silverselfshippingchaos · 8 months ago
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could cozy up to me- ahem
#ash rambles 💚#i love him soooo much! i know i get stubborn about it sometimes but he really does have my heart#him and ash get together post-game so i love writing him and his development and him learning to be a better person#theyre not together during the game. theyre enemies during the game. theyre also both kinda immature late teenagers/young adults#(i just wanna make it clear that there's nothing weird there going on!! he and ash have had mutual attraction to each other since they were#kids but they dont get together until theyre adults and he is an adult in canon!!!)#but back to what i was saying#his development with ash is sooo goooddd! they spend a little while doing mercenary work together! ash has quite long hair and man ajsjajsh#the way he learns how to take care of her hair always makes me soo warm and fuzzy inside! he may be a bit of a meanie but he is a#surprisingly affectionate bf! f.f8 s/i probably also straightens her curly hair like i do and he just likes helping and stroking her hair#there's a lot of playful bickering though! lots of matches of triple triad too! whoever loses does the dishes LMAAOO#man.. he's so handsome and strong... i love how he's always so dedicated to being a knight and a protector... i know he uses that as an#excuse to like. do horrific things in the game but!!! in the mobile game you can see him develop and i really do like his redemption arc#from mean ass bully to kinda mean ally that'll protect you no matter what. his character is so good especially when you consider that he's#literally been forced into training since he was five. lots of things to analyze and think about there#but back to the knight thing!! he always says he's ash's knight! makes my heart flutter hehe! though he is very well-aware that ash could#kick his ass... and he loves it! he's not big on using her beloved guns (shes very picky about who touches her sweethearts too) but he does#like watching her epic gunslinger gf in action hehehe! okay yeah i think thats enough rambling for now#i got sick 😔 i'm okay and it'll pass but expect a lot of half-asleep f/o rambles LMAAOOO#okay yeah. tldr: i <3 s.eifer a.lmasy#your knight until the end 🤍
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hl-obsessed · 11 months ago
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electronerd47 · 2 years ago
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Hihi !! ☺️ Can’t remember when we last chatted 😅, but I wrote relationship headcanons tn, and thought they might be comforting to you. 🥺🫶🏽 Hope you + your son are doing alright, and that winter’s treating you well. ❄️
i wish I could put into words how much it means to me that you continue to reach out to me, even if i'm not doing too much reaching back 💜💜💜 i'm terrible at this stuff 😭 so thank you so much for thinking of me!!
winter has been hot and cold lol, it's mostly been fine but my, my son, and his dad all got sick!! dad's over it, me n baby are still going through it. like ugh 🙄😂 i'm handling it like a total baby bc my ears keep getting that plugged up feeling and i just CANNOT deal!! my son is taking it like a champ. aside from coughing, snot nose, and some bad moods, he's still raring at 110% all. the. time. 😂 toddlers!
I'm going to read these headcanons as soon as possible. your writing is always so comforting, even when it's angsty. you're just an amazingly skilled and super-talented author!! ilysm ❤️
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seishiroh · 2 years ago
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i am SO looking forward to part 2 of i dreamt you loved me 🥹
pls yoi and i were talking after i posted and she was like. keep writing. but i think i should get the part 2 out within the next week :3 hehe
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marvus-xoloto · 2 years ago
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long time listener, first time caller here. been trying really hard to be more vocal about my emotions anyway, so i figure this is my cue to say something? i think the way you write suits marvus PERFECTLY. it's funny, it's engaging, & your characterization & hcs are just. so much fun to follow. your blog is one of my primary sources of hiveswap content & i'm always happy to see you pop up on my dash. i appreciate your presence, your creativity, & your hard work so much & i'm sorry for not saying as much earlier. best of luck to you, i totally understand needing a break from all this & i hope it gives your poor back a chance to recover from carrying practically the entire marvus fandom
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omg thank u so so much ♥️♥️ that is very very kind of you to say!! Marv is my ultimate fave, so I think I've just gotten a lot of practice haha. I'm still here to discuss headcanons etc. I just need some space from the pressure of perfectionism, and I tend to feel that way the most with writing right now.
Will get the heat pad for my back 👍 haha.
Also pls don't feel like you have to apologize! Fandom is meant to be fun!!
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poetryofyouth · 2 months ago
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boss went to the office sick last week, on a call she joked about how "she's gonna give it to all of us haha" now i am sick, most likely from her and joke's on her if I don't feel well tomorrow morning then I'll not work as is my legal right and she will have to deal with me not being there
#i like#KNEW it#when she was joking about this#I KNEW i was gonna catch something#now i feel a truck ran me over basically#i only have a low fever right now and hhnnggg i would feel bad calling in sick with 'only' a low fever but#i don't FEEL good and if I feel like that tomorrow then like i am not gonna be any use to anyone#and i would much prefer not getting anyone else sick unlike SOME PEOPLE#it is kinda funny tho because I have been worrying about maybe burn out danger#and tomorrow is my scheduled psychiatrist appointment anyways#and i was gonna maybe ask her to write me a sick note because of mental health reasons#(or at least ask if she thought it was justified)#if now i have early-ish stage burn out AND a cold /flu / probably Covid / whatever then at least calling in sick is twice as justified#or maybe - two half justifieds make one full justified?#I just hope if i still feel bad tomorrow morning i can have the psychiatrist appointment via phone or zoom or something#bc i do not want to have to travel to her it is a 3h round trip but that is the price i have to pay#to be seen by a doc who is not a psychopath#so many psychiatrists are just evil and she is the first of WAYYY too many (six not counting a few i only ever had one first apt with)#yeah anyways the only issue is there are a bunch of events this weekend i was really looking forward to#and i will legit cry if i have to miss them BECAUSE MY FUCKING BOSS WOULDN'T AT LEAST WORK ONLY FROM HOME if she didn't want to#take sick leave#like we have that option we can do almost everything without having to go to the office#i hate it here i wrote in my calender i would quit my job this thursday but i don't want to do that while i'm on sick leave yknow#well i'll figure it out ig
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re-regeneratedanomaly · 3 months ago
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okay, today I failed at writing because I was *super brave* and walked to my doctor under the sun after almost two months of not leaving the house, so my body was like 'ENOUGH MOVEMENT'. I'm going to bed, but I did send a few plotting ims, and I hope I'll be able to follow through tomorrow!
if anyone wants to throw things at Jenny, do it!!!
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adreamfromnevermore · 8 months ago
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AU Where the Justice League forms as usual except for one slight difference where Bruce just so happens to have been the one superheroing for the longest. (Excluding Diana, who got up to it in World War 1 and then mostly didn't while she learned about Man's World)
Bruce helps form the Justice League, ignoring all of the comments as they come to the sudden realization that Gotham's baby cryptid story is actually a man in a very intimidating armored suit who can and will break your arm if you cause problems for him. They are unaware that this is not the first team he's led, and actually he's used to teams full of mostly teenagers who also happen to be his children. This should be easier, this team is primarily adults.
He realizes rapidly that he doesn't understand these people.
His kids take bonding activities to mean learning a dozen different ways to break someones leg. That doesn't fly with these people. And that is most of Bruce's ideas, hell when he was a kid Alfred took every opportunity to get him out of his room and mostly that was with the agreement that Alfred would teach him how to defend himself. He's come by it honestly.
This team is not easier. They have more drama than when his house was actually full of kids. It's insane. He doesn't know what to do with it, usually he just sent the kids to their rooms or grounded them from patrol. That doesn't work here.
He comes to a strange crossroads. That falls apart when he forgets who he's working with and snaps at Hal with a full room of heroes that the next person to throw a punch or an insult without a reason too will be sparring with him.
A long standing rule in the batcave that worked two fold to prevent infighting between the kids and too ensure that they were well and truly trained.
It works wonders. No one says a word out of line for the rest of the debrief. Bruce becomes the unofficial mediator of the league over Clark because anytime he walked in on a fight it suddenly became 10 times more civil out of sheer terror of what he'd do to them in a sparring match.
Eventually they actually meet his kids. Well, one kid.
Half way through a mission (one of the rare ones in Gotham) the Bat comes to a complete stop at the edge of an alley. Every single league member on the team comes to a stop behind him. Slowly from the shadows of the alley a man in a red helmet stalks out to greet them.
"You don't call, you don't write"
"Red Hood."
"Don't Red Hood me! We've been worried sick!"
"I was at the cave last night."
"You didn't answer my texts B. You always answer my texts."
Somehow it ends with big and scary following them through the rest of the mission with a running commentary of how much Bats has let him down in his failure to respond in a timely manner to a text send less than an hour before he ran into them in the alley. It only ends when Red Robin shows up.
And even then it only ends because Hood can't keep himself from throwing a punch and Bruce has to snap at him that if he throws another one they're sparring when they get home.
And by god is Jason giving up the chance to punch his brothers.
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kyurilin · 11 months ago
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"plan ahead for a healthy and happy holiday" YES THANK YOU CVS I TRIED TO PLAN AHEAD BUT YOU DROPPED THE BALL ON REFILLING MY ADHD MEDS FOR THE THIRD TIME IN 2023 and frankly if they fuck me over again on today the 29th when they've told me since the 18th that it will be ready i will be punching a pharmacist for flat out lying :)
#i should not be spending my entire holiday break stressing about this!!!!#i should not be losing my MCMIND EVERY DAY#i literally was humming nonsense to myself while wandering walmart yhe other day#i can't stay still#i cant hardly get to sleep until i manage to lose all my energy while telling myself to please focus on sleeping#I DEFINITELY CANT FUCKING WRITE#I GOT TO READ TODAY ONLY BECAUSE I HAD SAVED ONE OF MY HALF DOSES FROM THE LAST TIME THIS SHIT HAPPENED TO GO SEE MY GRANDMA#i literally do not give a fuck if this isnt the pharmacy's fault I. Blame. Them.#they should be held accountable for not having a better handle on this after the last few months#if there is still a shortage you should not be making peoplr go off their medication for WEEKS at a time while we wait without you ever#updating us on whether or not it will actually be there when you tell us#in fact if your stupid fucking estimate tells me for 11 days that it will happen on a certain day and it ends up not showing on that day#you should be held fucking accountable for that#i dont want your fucking fake ass estimate i want you to get on tbe phone and tell me exactly when to expect my medicine#because i'm so sick and tired of having absolutely NOTHING i can do to get my medicine on time#i fucking HATE my brain when i dont have medicine#i hate that i'm wasting my two week break hating this fucking curse i got bestowed on me#if it continues past tomorrow into next week there's nothing on earth that can stop me from ranting to the cvs#and i do not care if they dont deserve it i am SICK AND TIRED#so anyways yes i tried to be fucking tesponsible and their cheery voice message lady tellinh me to plan ahead is such a fuckinh joke
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inkskinned · 6 months ago
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how odd, to watch the creative writing exercises of angry men in the comments of instagram. you noticed it first in the comments of conventionally attractive women - but then it started appearing everywhere else, too.
a young man talks about what lunch he's packing his wife. there is a little story under it, with 300 likes, fabricated from nothing. "this is pointless. if you treat her like this, she will take the lunch to her office and fuck her boss and divorce him and take all his money."
you scroll. a young woman talks about what lunch she's packing for her husband. it is always uglier when the subject of the video is a woman, you've noticed. "you sit on camera and you smile and you are cheating with the neighbor and then you're going to lie about being sexually assaulted by your husband and -"
you stop reading. it has 567 likes.
where did this even become a thing? people making up stories in their head, disgusting long-winded assumptions about intention and sexual disgrace. the evil twin of fanfiction.
like - it's just a lie. it's a lie that they are telling, baldfaced and assumptive. the undercurrent is of course misogyny, but the trouble is that they're so fucking certain. that's what makes the hairs on the back of your neck rise. there is this pervasive, inventive desire for them to be right. that they must be right. all women are cheating, lying, gold-digging bitches. no exceptions.
in the reverse, when women say i'd rather meet a bear in the woods than a strange man - men funnel in from the sides. they defend each other with a vibrance and capacity for empathy you wish applied to like, the other half of the population. a man could be saying i absolutely did kill her and these creatures in the comments would rise up with king shit. she made it happen. they love each other to the point of this sick strange self-gaslighting, a fervent and unhinged cognitive distortion. all men are good, wonderful people. all women are terrible, conniving, seditious, annoying.
and when did it become okay to just, like... say that kind of a thing? at one point, you find yourself typing out a witty and snappy retort. why are you spending so much time fantasizing about other people babe. but as you stare at the screen, some part of you pictures this man in public, saying these things to your face. his soapbox, high and mighty. his mirrored sunglasses and his empty life: tired and lonely.
what a sad and horrible loop he's locked in. he is terrible to women, so women don't talk to him, which he uses as an excuse to act more terribly. he blames this "failure" on women, rather than on his behavior. it cannot be that he is the problem (that the solution is to just put his ego down and accept women as equals) - he begins to invent a sculpture to replace the flesh frame of each person he sees.
it isn't just a woman posing on the beach. it is now a slut with a desperate need for each person to crave her body. it isn't just a woman yelping with surprise during something upsetting. it is a hysterical, unhelpful cretin who will probably make things worse instead of better. it isn't a person.
someone's very sweet wedding vows get moderate attention on instagram. in the comments, a man says good fucking luck you'll waste your life providing while behind your back she's absolutely fucking the best man. this will be so cringe in 2 months when she walks out on you.
you think - is that what you need to be true? is that what you need to happen, for the world to make sense to you?
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jadevine · 10 months ago
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Preindustrial travel, and long explanations on why different distances are like that
Update March 1, 2024: Hey there folks, here's yet another update! I reposted Part 2a (the "medieval warhorses" tangent) to my writing blog, and I went down MORE of the horse-knowledge rabbit hole! https://www.tumblr.com/jadevine/741423906984951808/my-post-got-cut-off-so-i-added-the-rest-of-it Update Jan 30, 2024: Hey folks, I've posted the updated version of this post on my blog, so I don't have to keep frantically telling everyone "hey, that's the old version of this post!" https://thebalangay.wordpress.com/2024/01/29/preindustrial-travel-times-part-1/
I should get the posts about army travel times and camp followers reformatted and posted to my blog around the end of the week, so I'll filter through my extremely tangled thread for them.
Part 2 - Preindustrial ARMY travel times: https://www.tumblr.com/jadevine/739342239113871360/now-for-a-key-aspect-that-many-people-often-ask
Part 2a - How realistic warhorses look and act, because the myth of "all knights were mounted on huge clunky draft horses" just refuses to die: https://www.tumblr.com/jadevine/732043691180605440/helpful-things-for-action-writers-to-remember
Part 3 - Additional note about camp followers being regular workers AND sex-workers: https://www.tumblr.com/jadevine/740604203134828544/reblogging-the-time-looped-version-of-my
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I saw a post on my main blog about how hiking groups need to keep pace with their slowest member, but many hikers mistakenly think that the point of hiking is "get from Point A to Point B as fast as possible" instead of "spending time outdoors in nature with friends," and then they complain that a new/less-experienced/sick/disabled hiker is spoiling their time-frame by constantly needing breaks, or huffing and puffing to catch up.
I run into a related question of "how long does it take to travel from Point A to Point B on horseback?" a lot, as a fantasy writer who wants to be SEMI-realistic; in the Western world at least, our post-industrial minds have largely forgotten what it's like to travel, both on our own feet and in groups.
People ask the new writer, "well, who in your cast is traveling? Is getting to Point B an emergency or not? What time of year is it?", and the newbies often get confused as to why they need so much information for "travel times." Maybe new writers see lists of "preindustrial travel times" like a primitive version of Google Maps, where all you need to do is plug in Point A and Point B.
But see, Google Maps DOES account for traveling delays, like different routes, constructions, accidents, and weather; you as the person will also need to figure in whether you're driving a car versus taking a bus/train, and so you'll need to figure out parking time or waiting time for the bus/train to actually GET THERE.
The difference between us and preindustrial travelers is that 1) we can outsource the calculations now, 2) we often travel for FUN instead of necessity.
The general rule of thumb for preindustrial times is that a healthy and prime-aged adult on foot, or a rider/horse pair of fit and prime-aged adults, can usually make 20-30 miles per day, in fair weather and on good terrain.
Why is this so specific? Because not everyone in preindustrial times was fit, not everyone was healthy, not everyone was between the ages of 20-35ish, and not everyone had nice clear skies and good terrain to travel on.
If you are too far below 18 years old or too far past 40, at best you will need either a slower pace or more frequent breaks to cover the same distance, and at worst you'll cut the travel distance in half to 10 or so miles. Too much walking is VERY BAD on too-young/old knees, and teenagers or very short adults may just have short legs even if they're fine with 8-10 hours of actual walking. Young children may get sick of walking and pitch a fit because THEY'RE TIREDDDDDDDDDD, and then you might need to stay put while they cry it out, or an adult may sigh and haul them over their shoulder (and therefore be weighed down by about 50lbs of Angry Child).
Heavy forests, wetlands and rocky hills/mountains are also going to be a much shorter "distance" per day. For forests or wetlands, you have to account for a lot of villagers going "who's gonna cut down acres of trees for one road? NOT ME," or "who's gonna drain acres of swamp for one road? NOT ME." Mountainous regions have their traveling time eaten by going UP, or finding a safer path that goes AROUND, so by the time you're done slogging through drier patches of wetlands or squeezing through trees, a deceptively short 10-15 miles in rough terrain might take you a whole day to walk instead of the usual half-day.
If you are traveling in freezing winters or during a rainstorm (and this inherently means you HAVE NO CHOICE, because nobody in preindustrial times would travel in bad weather if they could help it), you run the high risk of losing your way and then dying of exposure or slipping and breaking your neck, just a few miles out of the town/village.
Traveling in TOO-HOT weather is just as bad, because pushing yourself too hard and getting dehydrated at noon in the tropics will literally kill you. It's called heat-STROKE, not "heat-PARTY."
And now for the upper range of "traveling on horseback!"
Fully mounted groups can usually make 30-40 miles per day between Point A and Point B, but I find there are two unspoken requirements: "Point B must have enough food for all those people and horses," and "the mounted party DOESN'T need to keep pace with foot soldiers, camp followers, or supply wagons."
This means your mounted party would be traveling to 1) a rendezvous point like an ally's camp or a noble's castle, or 2) a town/city with plenty of inns. Maybe they're not literally going 30-40 miles in one trip, but they're scouting the area for 15-20 miles and then returning to their main group. Perhaps they'd be going to an allied village, but even a relatively small group of 10-20 warhorses will need 10-20 pounds of grain EACH and 20-30 pounds of hay EACH. 100-400 pounds of grain and 200-600 pounds of hay for the horses alone means that you need to stash supplies at the village beforehand, or the village needs to be a very large/prosperous one to have a guaranteed large surplus of food.
A dead sprint of 50-60 miles per day is possible for a preindustrial mounted pair, IF YOU REALLY, REALLY HAVE TO. Moreover, that is for ONE day. Many articles agree that 40 miles per day is already a hard ride, so 50-60 miles is REALLY pushing the envelope on horse and rider limits.
NOTE: While modern-day endurance rides routinely go for 50-100 miles in one day, remember that a preindustrial rider will not have the medical/logistical support that a modern endurance rider and their horse does.
If you say "they went fifty miles in a day" in most preindustrial times, the horse and rider's bodies will get wrecked. Either the person, their horse, or both, risk dying of exhaustion or getting disabled from the strain.
Whether you and your horse are fit enough to handle it and "only" have several days of defenselessness from severe pain/fatigue (and thus rely on family/friends to help you out), or you die as a heroic sacrifice, or you aren't QUITE fit enough and become disabled, or you get flat-out saved by magic or another rider who volunteers to go the other half, going past 40 miles in a day is a "Gondor Calls For Aid" level of emergency.
As a writer, I feel this kind of feat should be placed VERY carefully in a story: Either at the beginning to kick the plot off, at the climax to turn the tide, or at the end.
Preindustrial people were people--some treated their horses as tools/vehicles, and didn't care if they were killed or disabled by pushing them to their limits, but others very much cared for their horses. They needed to keep them in working condition for about 15-20 years, and they would not dream of doing this without a VERY good reason.
UPDATE January 13: Several people have gotten curious and looked at maps, to find out how a lot of cities are indeed spread out at a nice distance of 20-30 miles apart! I love getting people interested in my hyperfixations, lol.
But remember that this is the space between CITIES AND TOWNS. There should never be a 20-mile stretch of empty wilderness between City A and Town B, unless your world explains why folks are able to build a city in the middle of nowhere, or if something has specifically gone wrong to wipe out its supporting villages!
Period pieces often portray a shining city rising from a sea of picturesque empty land, without a single grain field or cow pasture in sight, but that city would starve to death very quickly in preindustrial times.
Why? Because as Bret Devereaux mentions in his “Lonely Cities” article (https://acoup.blog/2019/07/12/collections-the-lonely-city-part-i-the-ideal-city/), preindustrial cities and towns must have nearby villages (and even smaller towns, if large and prosperous enough!) to grow their food for them.
The settlements around a city will usually be scattered a few miles apart from each other, usually clustered along the roads to the city gates. Those villages and towns at the halfway point between cities (say 10-15 miles) are going to be essential stops for older/sick folks, merchants with cargo, and large groups like noble’s retinues and army forces.
Preindustrial armies and large noble retinues usually can’t make it far past 10-12 miles per day, as denoted in my addition to this post. (https://www.tumblr.com/jadevine/739342239113871360/now-for-a-key-aspect-that-many-people-often-ask )
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sunyandmony · 1 year ago
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IT'S DONE IT'S DONE DONE DON-
The fic is done..... Took long enough with all the tests and things that came up😭
Now just gotta transfer all the words here.... Delete the messes within and be done.... It changed so drastically ever since I started it, trust me. I am insane...
Give me about an hour and I'll queue the post for about two hours later. Alright? Adios
🚶‍♀️
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