#also when i dont feel like drawing sometimes- ill write- then i get sick of writing and want to draw so do a diff craft for a while? idk 😂

[singeart]

11, 18, and 20 plz!!!!!!! :3

11. How long, on average, do you spend on one piece of artwork?

This took me a few hours, maybe 2-3?

More complex pieces like this one always take at least 10 to line and render and that doesn't count the sketch phase which can involve many do-overs and which I haven't kept track of before because it would make me sad lol 🥲

18. How many WIPs do you currently have?

I'm actively working on:

7 drawings

2 fics

💀

20. Any advice for artists working through burnout or an art block?

When I'm feeling uninspired after finishing a big piece I've found it helps to just watch a couple of movies completely unrelated to the shows I make fanart for. Usually afterwards I feel refreshed and ready to get back into things so my advice would be to engage in media outside your usual genre (or medium), then rinse and repeat until something sparks inspiration 👏

Thank you!! ❤️

[delusionalmultilingual]

Title cover by me, please ask for permission to use. Not the panel but the editing :)

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Todoroki's sick?

This is just a drabble for the moment but if I post this hooray you get to see what sort of lovesick lonely relationship I want.

ITS A COMPLETE SLOWBURN PLEASE DONT HATE ME

Contains: Vomit, Illness, Spoilers.

Todoroki gets sick? Thank god your there to help him you pitiful bastard.

Your in your last year of U.A, just after your exams he gets sick. Where did Shouto go?

—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—

—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—

"Todoroki Shouto." The same monotone voice came from your tired teacher, had his eyebags dropped even more? His eyes had surely gotten more red. He looks stoned, you wish you could be too.

Zoning out for a second too long you feel a glare from your teacher who had probably said your name mote than three times by now, flicking his scarf to slide right past your ear, a whooshing sound which jolted you out of your zoned out state.

It was the same silence, the same silence that had gone on for the past three days. Time doesn't normally matter to you, the world moves either to quick or too slow so you do your own thing.

"Focus or I'll make you run laps."

You flinch and look directly at your teacher who had moved towards your desk, black eyes slowly emitting the gloomy red that scared you sometimes. Sitting up straighter then you had ever sat you gave him a small smile before nodding a small apology. Thank god he was tired or he might have probably killed you by now.

"Ah, [Your Name]. Is there something bothering you?" Uraraka asked beside you quietly as you all began writing. To which you turned to see her eyes locked with yours.

You respond with a quick 'hm' shaking your head trying not to worry your friend, shifting your focus back to your writing as you tried not to think about specific things.

'I wonder where Todoroki is...'

'Is he with his dad? Maybe his mum...'

You shake your head and pinch your arm to refocus feeling a hint of heat on the tips of your ears. Your eyes staring intensely at the word 'mixture'.

'Fuck, that's also like him.'

Rubbing your temples now, and running a hand behind the back of your neck and pressing down on the sore spot that had grown increasingly through the pressure of homework and assignments, Hero work too.

A low muttering came from Midoryia, he was back to his usual ways even while Mr Aizawa spoke in his colourless voice. And Ashido and Kaminari were whispering to each other trying to get some form of idea as to what to write.

If you were completely honest you didn't know what to write either, the work was something about Physical and Quirk development, which was a pain when you had learned majority of it in middle school.

Yet you didn't know what to write, even if you knew about what you were learning, you still didn't know what to write. Maybe it was the three assignments that you turned in earlier today, maybe you were just burnt out.

Aizawa's words were now muffled through your thoughts as you doodled over your pages of lined, neat work. They weren't the best but they were cute enough to stay in your book.

"But sir this is too difficult!" Mina and Denki whined in unison, snapping you out of your stage of drawing and listening into the bickering, Bakugou yelling at them from across the room.

"Shuddap. If you werent so stupid maybe you would understand!"

Aizawa sighed yet again, sleep deprived probably, maybe an insomniac. "Bakugou, get back to your own work."

After a miniature altercation between Aizawa and Bakugou, it ended with Bakugou going quiet and grumbling as he continued working and Aizawa scolding Mina and Denki.

Uraraka was giggling beside you, covering her smirk and lowering her head further than what it usually is and trying to compose herself. Her brown hair was definitely longer than what it was in your first year, down to her shoulders now.

She complained that it was getting too long and that she needed to cut it but she didn't have the money, so when Momo offered to pay she declined and said that her hair was fine the way it was.

Even if she was your friend she's a little too anxious about money, even if it was ten dollars. You knew it was because of her background but she's going to be paid a shit ton in the future, if she continued with her path of being a pro.

You ponder on the small parts that you were thinking of before. 'Three days.', was the main thought as you were distracted yet again, which ended with the sake old lecture about listening and paying attention by Aizawa.

***

"[Your Name!" Tsuyu and Mina ran after you, the entire of U.A walking the same paths as the rest of the years. It was your last year, last year of all of this. It sparks an anxious pain in your chest but at the same time motivation.

You turn to face your two friends and Mina practically jumps into your arms and nearly takes the both of you to the floor. And now your winded as Tsu drags Mina off you.

"Are you going to come to dinner tonight?" Tsu asks, her croaky voice comes from her, shorter than Mina and you but thankfully taller than that purple balled idiot. He hurt your neck often when he gave you creepy smiles and all his perverted stuff.

A shrug comes from your shoulders which ends with a pampering Mina begging you not to stay cooped up in your room for the rest of winter holidays. A short answer came from your lips and Tsu's tongue was sticking out as she smiled warmly.

"Probably not, I gotta get this resume in."

Tsu nodded and pulled at Mina's shirt and trying to usher her away as to not hold you back any longer. She might not have spoke many words but she's very expressive through her emotions.

Eventually she was picked off bit by bit, and the dormitory was around a minute away walking. You were tired, but now having to write up a resume that you were planning on doing a week earlier, didn't happen. The procrastination got to you before you even started.

So you began walking, thinking about how to start on your resume even though it was simple, obviously you had to start with your full name, address... 'Would it be the dorm number or just U.A?' The thought ran through your mind before getting thrown into the many other thoughts.

You gave a small wave to Sato who was watering some of the flowers that the class planted earlier this year. He waved back only a few seconds after you, and by then you were already at the steep of the stairs. Pushing the doors open to the smell of Bakugou's food.

Ignoring the smell you looked at the elevator before taking the stairs, you were only on the first floor anyway. It was a flight of stairs, the least you could do is not be lazy.

When you unlocked your door, the small 'rodent' so you claim it to be meowed and purred against your leg.

"Hey Asana, what'cha doing pretty?" You ran a hand along the curled soft hair of your cat, you weren't really supposed to have pets in the dorms but they didn't have to know about him.

Sure, Asana was a male cat with a girl's name, but he didn't know that. He can't understand English, sometimes that makes you suspicious of him. So you shut the door behind you, picking him up and smooching his head three times before he places a paw to your nose.

"You stink."

Asana responded with a long meow, of course. He wanted food, you place him on the ground and sort him out. Flopping onto your bed with a groan of relief when the softness of the cushion collides with your back.

In less than a second, the little rodent you loved so much had jumped on you and was making biscuits on your chest, putting all his weight on his front paws, making you wheeze in pain, how could a cat be so heavy?

He purred loudly and soon after fell asleep on you, which left you scrolling on your phone and typing up this resume that you definitely needed to do before you left school. And of course it would probably take three seconds to finish, but you had sooooo many other things to do. One of them was steal Bakugou's recipe cause damn his cooking is amazing, he would mind so you would have to do it in secret.

Did he even have a recipe to follow? It would surprise you if you didn't, maybe Sato could help. Bakugou never seemed to mind him helping with cooking, he'd prefer him cleaning or doing something else. But only a grumble would be his response.

Thinking over your plan you knew it wouldn't help, you were already on social media and Mina had posted a class photo, Sato was there as well. Damn, he probably ran so he wasn't late.

It was already dark, maybe you could order in. You didn't have much energy to cook anyway, Bakugou definitely wouldn't waste his precious time cooking for you anyway, you were 'a pain in the ass'.

'Ah, I forgot about Todoroki.'

The thought that crossed through your mind from earlier today had reached you again, Midoryia said that he wasn't out with family. Iida said that he had probably become ill, with his continuous efforts at school.

"Asana, should I message him?" You ask your cat, he wasn't going to respond. Either a meow or his ears twitching would be the response.

He was dead asleep. On your chest, curled ears twitching when you sighed deeply and looked at the name on your screen, 'Shouto'. He had a small emoji next to his name, thanks to your creativity of putting what their quirks were as emoji's.

After a long groan and thinking you fumble around messaging him quickly.

'Hey Todoroki, I was wondering how you are doing since you haven't been at school.'

Sent.

Fuck.

Squeezing Asana'a pretty white fur he responded back with a low purr. Three minutes go by, feels like forever and the embarrassment of messaging someone you don't usually message. Ah, this is shit.

Your phone lights up, the notification carxges your eye.

Shouto 🧊🔥

'I'm unwell.'

Dry text. As usual, it didn't bother you as much as it used to, he's gotten better since first year.

'Would you like me to get you something?'

You message back immediately, the heat rushing to your face.

Shouto🧊🔥

'Porridge and Orange juice?'

Was all he replied before you sat up, Asana jumping off and getting comfy on your bed, maybe you should change. Sweats and a singlet? Yep.

Grey pants and a black singlet was what you wore, bringing up a hot bowl of porridge and a carton of Orange juice that was in the fridge, wasn't yours but you'll buy another one for whoever complains.

He was on the fifth floor, wasn't a preference, you would complain if you had to go up five floors.

You reach his room that was labelled with his name, Todoroki. And you knock on the door, it was dead quiet. Usually you would be able to hear Jiro playing her instruments but she was gone as well.

The door clicks open and you see Todoroki, taller than you. His hair a mess and both of his hair colours mixing with eachother, he has showered. But he looks like a mess.

"Can I come in?"

You ask quietly and he covers his cough with his elbow, nodding and turning around so you can go inside his dorm. Very traditional, you saw it a few times while studying with Sero. He cleans regularly, but it's gotten messy since he's been sick.

There was a bucket next to his bed, has he been really sick? Maybe Gastro.

"Sit back down I don't wanna make you run around or something." You usher him back to his futon, you have the kindest expression on and aren't trying to push him around too much.

The room has a hint of sickness in it too, maybe you would get sick too. Oh well.

He sits down with his legs crossed and looks up at you, his face puffy and his hair still a mess, he looks like his gaze is a blur and you gently give him the porridge.

"Have you been eating?"

This is awkward, first you had to message him and now your stuck in his room, with him when he is sick. Your eyes wander and he eats the porridge slowly, blowing on the spoon a few times and switching off his phone. He nods to your question, responding back in a sick and croaked speech.

"Mhm, not much."

Your breath tightened, his voice was usually deepish and monotone but when he's sick. Jesus, gonna take the life outta you.

In less than a second that all changes when he leaps towards the plastic bucket beside his futon and gags profusely, throwing up the porridge he had eaten mere seconds earlier, his stomach trying to throw up on an empty stomach now.

You quickly make your way towards him and kneel down beside him, he puts a hand out to stop you but you move his hair out of the way. It had gotten longer throughout the years but your pretty sure he's been missing his hair appointments.

"Come on Todoroki! Why didn't you let us know." Grumbling beside his ear, he wipes his mouth before sitting back up again, washing his mouth out with the cup of water beside the bucket and spitting it into the bucket.

He goes to stand up, but you keep him sat down, giving him the carton of orange juice that you had brought earlier, were you holding that while keeping his hair out of the way?

"What are you doing?" He asks in the same groggy probably drugged up voice while watching you pick up the vomit filled bucket and taking it to the toilet in his room.

You look back at him, pushing the toilet seat up and pouring the foul substance into the toilet. Flushing it before closing the lid. "You need to rest. Your not getting up unless I'm gone."

Strong tone and using the shower head in the bathroom to rinse the bucket, you turn your head to see if he agrees.

"It's only a stomach bug."

"A stomach bug that makes you look like your about to die."

"Every illness makes you look like that."

"Your not getting up unless you need to go to the toilet. Your quirk is going to drain your energy so don't use that either."

He sighs, not wanting to argue and knowing you were kind of right, he hated to admit it but he actually liked that you cared for him like that. He had gotten used to looking out for himself but when his friends and classmates helped him he realised he also had to look out for others.

"Fine."

He couldn't help it however. He wasn't that sick, right?

You sit down beside him on his futon and look at the half eaten bowl of porridge, he was drinking the juice in hand and staring at you with those oh so beautiful eyes. But it's when he leans over and rests his head on your shoulder that makes you freeze.

"Thanks."

Was all he spoke before closing his eyes and breathing in your scent, you were confused as to why he had done so. Maybe he liked you? Is he clingy when he's sick?

You chuckle and pat his back, he was already relaxed into you but your physical touch made him melt, his body weight becoming evident on your body. So you use majority of your strength to keep sitting up, while adjusting to his weight.

His eyes were closed against you and his breathing became quieter and quieter until you almost could mistake him for being dead. It was soon you realised you were both breathing at the same pace. Did that always happen when two were so close?

Spotting a damp rag on the floor, you pick it up to feel if it is still cold, it wasn't. You couldn't move yet because he was practically attached to you. Jolting when you moved even an inch, so now you were laying down beside him on the single futon. His head against your arm and his arm along your waist.

This wasn't like him, for sure. Was he mistaking you for someone else? Your hoping he's not, cause whoever he would be thinking about like this. Wasn't you.

"It's cold." He speaks quietly, it's only then that you realise the chill in the air. It was already night? But the sun was up, you checked your phone that was sat in your pocket. Your eyes widen at the time. Two hours?!

Two hours had gone by and you could have finished this resume. You couldn't have wished for anything better, or worse? Todoroki Shouto was asleep on you, but you needed to finish this resume.

"Todoroki-"

"Shouto."

"Uh- Alright then. Shouto, I have to get this resume done."

He grumbled and geld onto you tighter, looking up at you, oh lord, he was adorable. Looking up at you with his opposite coloured eyes and pouting ever so slightly.

"Just do it in here."

"Ok then."

Why would you want to argue with him like that? You felt a sense of pity because he was sick, but also because he actually wanted you to stay with him? Your living a dream that you so desperately don't want to end. Maybe if he was well this would send you head over heels.

***

"Hey Todoroki! Where's [Your Name]?" Mina asks with her usual bubbly attitude, staring up at the taller boy with her 'raccoon eyes' as others have said.

Todoroki looks up from the book he was writing in, locking eyes with Mina, Asui was standing next to her with her frog-like tongue sticking out as he responded, scratching the side of his neck.

"She's not feeling well."

"What?!" Mina exclaims, her hands coming to the top of her pink curls quickly as she looked shocked. "She didn't even go anywhere! How did she get sick?"

"She came to visit me when I was sick." He replied back in a monotone speech and got back to writing whatever was on the board. Not knowing how excited Mina looked when she turned to Asui and giggled running off.

'Did I say something wrong?'

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This story is officially FINSIHED! I know I definitely lost some sort of motivation towards the end, I hate slowburns but I do say so myself. This is alright.

Proofread!

Thank you for all the support I have been getting! d=(^o^)=b

[rainbowsparklecur]

that one character post…. with fae …,-,,2?3))3

WOOOOOOOOOO YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

First impression

ok so FUN FACT when i first started playing i was fully gearing myself up for gilman to be my absolute number 1 favorite blorbo of all time. uhhh when i first met fae i was like "oh shes cute :]" and then didnt think much about her after that iirc..........like i thought she was very sweet and all but she didnt really grab me(little did i know)

Impression now

um. i like her a normal amount.

Favorite moment

ALL FAE MOMENTS ARE GOOD MOMENTS (except yknow. That Scene. i mean it was also a good scene but also just. hhrrggnh :[ ) however gotta say favorite was the scene with her and tizo after tizo ate the weird mushroom and got sick..........they are so precious i love them so much...friend ship..........

Idea for a story

well obviousdly theres The Dogdeer Fic but uhhh in terms of fae-centric stuff i do have uh. a few ideas. main 1 is a multi-chapter(maybe) fic based on part of faes topside ending (something about her getting taken in by some family in the commonwealth?) except i dont actually know much of what actually happened bc im avoiding spoilers so all of this could be horrifically inaccurate! so uh take it with a grain of salt lol ill probably edit it when i actually liberate her. also heres some snippets if youre inchrested lol

even if the idea doesnt work uhh just take this as practice for writing fae ok i had fun writing this and im proud of it lol

Unpopular opinion

thinks. ummm not a fan of moonheart/fae x almer romantically. also have some feelings about her not being As cuddly/social/happy-go-lucky as the fandom sometimes portrays her as but thats more like personal interpretation i guess *hides behind furniture*

Favorite relationship

UMMM......dog.......deer... they have potential.............honestly i love their relationship in game not just the potential they have i just hate how sgg was like "ummm yea almer is actually IN LOVE with fae theyre both so STRAIGHT AND IN LOVE and theyre gonna GET MARRIED AND HAVE BABIES"

however i also adore fae and tizos friendship.........theyre so precious cmon

like CMON how could you not love them. look at them

Favorite headcanon

UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH sifts through all my headcanons. i like the idea of her not remembering a lot of her past due to trauma and stuff(dissociative amnesia???is that the word) though i still wanna like research that kinda thing more so i dont portray it inaccurately or anything. also maybe the idea of her kinda having memory problems present day.....maybe......... uhh in terms of more light/fluffy headcanons uhhh......she likes bugs :] she loves bugs she very good with them even more "creepy" crawlys like spiders and wasps shes very gentle with them and in turn theyve rarely if ever bite/sting her. also shes maybe kinda nearsighted (if you ever see my draw her with glasses thats why lol) uh this is not projection at all. also one time i got an anon that said something about transmasc fae. i thought that was neat but uh maybe thats just me maybe im weird haha

OH WAIT ANOTHER ONE I JUST REMEMBERED when she was little she had a stray cat friend .she named him bread :]

uhhhh i think thats all THANK YOU FOR THE ASK!!!!!!!!!!

[melloneah]

this is all for the writer ask!!! :3 hope it's not too much >_<" answer the ones you're comfortable answering and don't force yourself to answer all of them if you don't want to! <3

🌵🥤🌻🍄📚 🍬🔪🥐🏜🦋🐝🧩

EHEHEHEHEHHE NEVER TOO MUCH THANK U SMMMMMM 🌵 ⇢ share the link to a playlist you love

i dont really listen to premade playlists, so ill link mine >:333 this is a playlist i made for a roadtrip to berlin, including all the songs i was listening to at the time, and ive since been adding new ones actively, so it's literally just a huge list of everything i love :D 🥤 ⇢ recommend an author or fanfic you love

first of all gonna plug my besties ofc @levi-dayne writes sick ass fics for death note @uriekukistan writes amazing itafushi angst (and not only :33) SENDING BOTH OF THEM SMOOCHES GO READ THEIR STUFF! and a fic that id read recently and LOVEDDD was all about love by fullvoid (@casgore on here :3) the yuuji characterisation broke my heart - it was a gutwrenchingly real way of depicting mental illness, and i loved seeing how different he acted around people vs alone. and it was super cool seeing a healed megumi helping yuuji rather than the other way around!!! HIGHLY RECOMMEND!!!!

🌻 ⇢ tag someone you appreciate but don't talk to on a regular basis FIRST OF ALL U!!!!!! i love the mutual interactions THANK U FOR BEING HERE!!!! @alonelystargazer is very sweet and i interact with her pretty regularly i feel :3 THANK U FOR INTERACTING WINNIE!!!!<3 cant think of anymore rn but if i do i WILL edit this post TRUST 🍄 ⇢ share a head canon for one of your favourite ships or pairings

megumi likes penne but yuuji hates it so they always disagree over pasta shape if theyre making it for dinner. yuuji always wins bc his favourite is spaghetti and obviously everyone likes spaghetti so megumi doesnt bother fighting him on it 📚 ⇢ what's the last thing you wrote down in your notes app? 

HEHEHEHEH nervous. lets see "what kinda gay shit goes on around here when im not around" LMAO the choso x todo wip in action. what a quote thank u past me. you'll find out the context once i post it sjdhfgsjhfks

🔪 ⇢ what's the weirdest topic you researched for a writing project?

hmmmmm from random shit i think like. 1980s window designs in england lmaooo

🥐 ⇢ name one internet reference that will always make you laugh 

answered here :333

🏜️ ⇢ what's your favourite type of comment to receive on your work?

ARRGRHRG ANY COMMENT. i get so excited u cant even imagine. i sometimes type 'AO3' in my gmail just to delude myself that i got a comment and get that little pang of joy seeing the notif 😭 my favvvv must be ones that quote certain lines tho bc then im like HEY!!!! I WROTE THAT!!!! U LIKED THAT??? DUDE UR NOT GONNA BELIEVE THIS I WROTE IT

🦋 ⇢ share something that has been on your heart and mind lately

i feel like an everpresent topic ive had on my mind especially often for the last year is kindness. there's a multitude of things i could say, whether that's bashing people for lacking it, or get all teary over how beautiful it is (which!! it is!!!) but i think what ive recently discovered is that it's my only constant :3 when everything else goes wrong, that's all i have, and im really happy it's second nature to me (altho im still actively working on making myself better!!!!)

yeah, maybe everything sucks right now, but i know i can make someone else's day better :3 and often it makes things a little more okay to me too

🐝 ⇢ tag your biggest supporter(s) and say one nice thing about them

RAHHGHG BESTIES. question for the bestiessss

@levi-dayne is so dear to my heart!!! such a sweet and kind person, who truly and deeply cares about others!!!! makes music, writes well AND ALSO DRAWS??!!! amazing and super talented person with super high ambitions too!!! SO SLAYFUL. what did i do to deserve such a slayful friend<333

@uriekukistan is one of the most naturally talented ppl i know!!!!! they write amazing fics, can DANCE super well, and took up drawing like 3 seconds ago and are already churning out really cool stuff on a fucking TOUCHPAD. ON THEIR LAPTOP. gofundme for rin graphic art kit when?? also ofc. a really good friend and very kind person :3333 <333

ILYSM BESTIESSSS

🧩 ⇢ what will make you click away from a fanfiction immediately?

from a writing style perspective: first person and tense switches

from a content perspective: anything fucked up like noncon or incest....how tf are they often not tagged like??? or putting that at the bottom of the warnings list 😭 oh yea im far more concerned about swearing and underage drinking......

something im picky abt that sometimes annoys me enough to click off but i feel like it's just a weird personal preference is the overuse of alternatives to a characters name. so using "the brunette" like 5 times. just say his name!!!!! it's ok!!!!!

RAHHHHHH i usually reread my answers before i post but not this time. adios fuckers i dont remember what bullshit i wrote here but ur left with the consequences. if u wanna deal with even more of my terrible takes ASK ME STUFF

[myrdiary]

02/10/24 | entry #01

general thoughts and feelings:

today i went to disney on ice! vv fun. def reccommend. but not what im here to talk about rn. i absolutely cannot stop thinking about Bobs Burgers. its my MAJORRR hyperfix rn and im all about it.

i started planning a fanfic?? its rlly good but idk if ill write it tbh, im not that great w following through w my ideas. after this post im gonna obsessively read the wiki and make notes. then im gonna draw.

"draw what?" you ask? literally anything related to bobs burgers. i made a morning kisses drawing yesterday, today i might just draw them and their restaurant (like the intro) as a whole. thatd be so mega fun actually

also yk when you watch a show for so long that you pick up on their speech patterns? thats literally me rn like actually. my speech pattern is closest to tina or bob with the excessive amount of "uhm"'s and pauses in ym sentences. and this digital diary is kinda like tinas journal that everyone reads

sometimes i wish my family was like hers but other times i appreciate what i have. they have such a perfect and supportive family dynamic that i cant help but be jealous sometimes. most of my thoughts are comparing the two, but i know that reality will usually win. well i think thatss all until i add a "p.s" at the end

overall emotions for the day:

pretty good! im very sickso i woke up a few times in the night so i was a bit upset about that but itll be okay once i get over my sickness

academic items:

mr conrad gave us this major lab to do to prepare for our simple invertebrates practical. it has like. over 40 items on it! me and arianna are working together. it was supposed to be me and lexie and arianna, but since sierra o left for disney, ashley joined our group. me and arianna dont like her mainly bc she doesnt do any work when shes supposed to.

religious thoughts:

started an online bible course a few days ago! hoping to continue it when im not so hyperfixed

writing goals:

plotted that fanfic i was talking about! its called "veiled lament, chromatic whispers between twilight" and it only has 10 plotted chapters but i wanna turn it into a big thing.

i keep seeing this fic called "Baby Steps" for zekina and im sure its great but the author posts so much smut with the fic and i am so. against that. mainly because theyre minors

language goals:

started latin a few days ago. havent done anything else with it besides organize resources

self care goals:

got my new mary kay skincare set! trying to use it every night

shadow work:

havent touched anything witchy in 2 months

other:

attempting to shift tonight!!! i wanna be at hogwarts so bad

[justsomeoneintoomanyfandoms]

Hi! If you are still doing matchups, can I have one for Demon Slayer, Ninjago, and Avatar the Last Airbender?

I use she/her pronouns and I am bisexual. I have to realy know someone well before I start developing feelings for them. I am an aquarius, and I pretty much fit the aquarius stereotypes to a T. I am a little shorter than average, my skin is very pale, and I have long red hair that alternates between straight and wavy depending on humidity. I play a ton of musical instruments including the violin, which is my favourite. I speak many languages and learning them is a hobby for me. I love animals and am hoping to work a job involving animals in the future. I have lots of hobbies like sewing, drawing, singing, cooking, playing with my pets, building legos, writing, and gardening. I am almost always creating something. I am very interested in science, particularly biology and epidemiology.

I have been told I seem a bit cold, shy, or overly-academic on the outside, but when people get to know me, they find out I can be very outgoing and I love to make people laugh. I am a very awkward person but I can usually spin it around to look like charisma instead. Humor is kind of my coping mechanism and I don't really have a filter. I worry a lot over small things, and sometimes minor occurrences send me spiralling, but I am oddly very calm in actual emergency situations. I like to joke I panic at small things so I dont have any anxiety left over for emergencies. My friends say I am the smart one of the group, but I like to think I am the comedic relief.

I dont actually have many dislikes. I tend to try to think positively of things. I suppose I am not a huge fan of sports, but I wouldn't say I dislike them. I'm not too fond of doing maths either, but on the right day it can be enjoyable. I think the one thing in my life that I truly dislike is that I am sick all the time. I have a chronic illness so I just feel like I perpetually have the flu.

I can't wait to see who you match me with! I find these kinds of things so interesting!

Hi Anon! Thank you for your request! I hope you like your matchup!

In Demon Slayer, I match you with...

While it may seem like a strange matchup at first, you and Inosuke would get along surprisingly well.

You both like animals and I think that is what you would initially bond over. He tires not to show it but animals are his soft spot.

Loves watching you work on your latest project. It’s one of the few times he’ll sit still for more than a few seconds.

You may have to keep him at a distance though. He’s damaged a project before and, even though he was apologetic (in his own way), it’s better to reduce the chances of it happening again.

Surprisingly good at helping you calm down when little things cause you to spiral. Your calmness in actual emergencies is a good thing; there’s now another person other than Tanjiro to keep Inosuke under control.

Thinks you’re so funny! It doesn’t matter how bad your jokes are, he’s always rolling on the ground laughing.

In Ninjago, I match you with...

Jay also has no filter so you two are a force to be reckoned with when you both feel opinionated about something.

With the two biggest comedians of the group now in a relationship, there’s no escape for the other ninjas. They thought Jay was bad, now there are two of you!

In a non-Lego au, Jay would be the biggest fan of Lego. He’s got a bunch of sets and would love building them with you.

Always asking if there’s anything he can do to help you feel better. If there is, he’s more than happy to do it. Even if it’s only a minor help (like a backrub temporarily easing back pain), he’ll do whatever he can.

Definitely appreciates your calmness in emergencies. It stops him from panicking too badly. However, he’s prone to panicking over little things as well so you’ll both be freaking out over the smallest things. The other ninja are so tired…

In Avatar the Last Airbender, I match you with...

At first glances, you and Ty Lee are the happy, grumpy couple. But as soon as people get to know you better, they quickly realise that you two are more similar than they thought.

Ty Lee loves singing with you! I think she’s got a decent voice but even on days when her pitch isn’t the best, her confidence and enjoyment more than makes up for it.

I see Ty Lee as someone who speaks a few different languages as well. She travelled with a circus for a while so she picked up bits and pieces of different languages while travelling.

As a result, she’d love to have conversations where you both switch languages every few sentences. It’s very confusing for anyone listening but she loves it. It’s like a secret code just between you two.

I think Ty Lee would be one of those people who develops feelings quickly. However, she’s more than happy to wait until you develop those same feelings before she makes a move.

Another one who thinks you’re very funny. She’s got a pretty decent humour so she’ll be quipping back whenever you make a funny comment.

[unsafecoma]

YAYAYYA i wanted to do madamemiz's ask game about the DCA because i llike them 🫶 UNDER THE CUT !! ! !! ! !!!

how did you get here?

my hyperfix on the dca started earrrly january this year because i played hw2 and was promptly swept off my feet and ive been sick over them since. id played it before , but started playing again bc i wanted too 100% the game! oh if only id known !!

2. why these characters in particular? what was the hook for you?

originally it was Sun that hooked me onto both of them. hes just so silly!! and such a prissy bitch!! and i love it!! plus i love the idea of 2 separate ids in one body, thats always fun to mess with 😋

3. how long have you been here?

since early january of this year!! though, im not SUPER active in the fandom itself. i just silently enjoy fanart/fics , and VERY RARELY draw and post on my art bog. im not a big participator in fandom itself, im perfectly comfy just watching.

4. have you actually played fnaf sb?

NO. and i do not plan to. the game is too buggy to pay 40 bucks for it, plus i really dont wanna give scott anymore money (fuck you scott cawthon i hate you scott cawthon a million plagues upon you and your life scott cawthon) so ill pass. im perfectly fine with just watching videos.

5. if you make content, what's your favorite piece you've contributed?

THIS POST!! i love vocaloid, and i love the dca, and whats better than combining the two? i was especially proud of myself bc these were animations, which is something i NEEEVERRR to, so id say i was pretty damn happy with these!!

6. what's your favorite sort of art or fic? what genre/flavor/style?

ive still yet to actually read any fics abt the dca (im in the process of reading one about djmm rn <3 its so good i love it so much <333) but im a sucker for angst w/a happy end (the heart wants what the heart wants, and who am i to deny ?)

7. what's your favorite au?

i like aquatic aus for the dca!!!!! i love seeing all the different designs ppl give them ... i also rlly like cowboy/western aus too :)

8. do you have any ocs, or have any ocs you're fond of?

not yet, but ive absolutely thought about it!! maybe one day ... (for now though, im happy with my silly little technician s/i hehe)

9. what do you think of the dca's canon appearance? Scary? Cute? Something else?

I LOVE THEM I THINK THEYRE SO PRETTYYYYYYYYYY i dont really see them as scary from looks alone tbh, like MAYBE moon but it'd have to be rlly dark so it was just his glowing eyes visible. other than that they are just silly billys cutie patooties to me. id pinch their cheeks if i could (i mean i know u can but. ykwim)

10. what keeps you in this fandom despite the very small amount of canon content the dca had?

im kept sane by both my own brain's constant thoughts abt these robots, and also the art and writing made by other fans!! i 🫶 images.

11. be honest: if you had to pick only one, sun or moon?

:( i GUESS sun, if i HAD to choose, only bc Moon's the one with the virus. it feels so wrong to separate them. you wound me.

12. thoughts on eclipse?

I LOVE THEM!!!!!!! i hc that eclipse isnt one whole robot, but its a state of being where sun and moon are both comfortably, equally in control of the body. so like ... in a WAY they could seem blended into one whole ai, but theyre both still in there, and have moments of one overtaking the other, while still as "eclipse".

13. thoughts on pre-glitch sun?

I feel like pre glitch Sun was juuust starting to get a bit overworked and burnt out, like right before the virus (and afterwards, it jsut got worse and worse). i think the DCA are genuinely good at taking care of kids, they just slip up often and arent absolutely perfect at it (unlike how they would be, if they were actually made to be caretakers and not theater animatronics). sometimes Sun is too loud, having to constantly remind himself to lower his voice when around more meek kids in the daycare.

he definitely has his moments where he needs to correct himself and remember that he is taking care of young kids, but all in all, i feel like Sun was pretty good at taking care of the kids (much better than he was when he was first moved to the daycare, since i can imagine he was VERY, VERY BITTER about being moved from the theater, but its not like being a theater animatronic was synonymous with despising children, so he wouldn't HATE them or anything yk ??)

14. thoughts on pre-glitch moon?

YKNOW I WONDER does moons voice sound like that bc of the virus, or is that just his voice ? nonetheless, i feel like Moon was good with his job, and maybe a bit better than Sun, only bc i feel like handling naptime would come with less struggles than daytime activities.

Moon was probably so much more gentle, less hunched over and 'scary-looking' when he moved, and rather than punishing kids for not sleeping he just ... actually helped them sleep. yknow ? whether its holding and rocking some of the younger kids to help them sleep better, or maybe one of the kids has something on their mind that wont let them sleep, i feel like Moon was actually really good at his job.

im firm on believing the DCA is actually good at taking care of kids due to what cassie says about the AR sun/moon plushies!! theyre good at their job!!! to a degree LOLLLL

15. do you interpret sun and moon as two sides of the same person, or truly two separate beings in one body? does it matter?

i interpret them as two separate beings in one body!! i like this interpretation, it feels more fun to work with and is oddly cathartic? emotional? interesting? theres just so much emotion that comes with sharing a body with an entire other identity, knowing that you and them are tightly knit together, whether you want to be or not, because no matter what, you have them, and they have you, and you're stuck with one another. and yes, you and them are different, but you bleed into one another at some parts, at some angles the yellow and blue smudge, and sometimes you struggle to see where 'you' starts, and 'they' begin.

i love love love thinking about how they experience sharing a body with one another, how they maneuver the world and their thoughts. ITS SO FUN!!! THEY MAKE ME SICK.

16. what's something in the fandom you'd like to see more of?

WAITER!!! WAITER!! MORE PRISSY BITCH SUN PLEASE!!! ill literally never ever get enough of it.

17. what's something in the fandom you'd like to see less of?

this is ENTIRELY just me, but seeing the dca act all suave and sexy feels mischaracterizing. this tweet literally captures how i feel perfectly

like OB VI OUS LY have fun and do what ur little heart desires, never ever am i gonna bash someone for DOING THAT, but whenever i see them drawn sexily and with abs or anything like that it just makes me wonder if we have the same character in mind. you dont get them like i do. we are playing with our touys in different corners.

18. anything you're looking forward to?

THE MOON NIGHTLIGHT. i have the sun one already and i NEED the moon one so he isnt alone :( i hope they fix up the coloring on the moon one, bc the dark bit looks so weird and messy (im assuming it only looks like that since it was the first look at him, but still!!! i think they should just make him all white, and not make the NIGHT LIGHT dark in some areas, lol???)

19. do you think you'd actually get along with the dca if you met them irl?

this is one of those rare times where i DO think i would get along with them, or at least Sun!! i feel like id definitely be super duper anxious first meeting them, like the enthusiasm levels are a bit jarring, but i really do feel like i could get along with Sun (and maybe Moon ... if this is pre-virus, then more likely, but if its while Moon has the virus .. .. . . . . .. .. .. .. mauybe.)

20. free space! talk about whatever's on your mind!

if i think about the dca and their room and state of neglect for too long i get sick. i get insane and curl into a little ball like a roly poly. they make me so sick. i hate them i need to bite them.

also genderfunny aroace dca forever and ever. ok? 🫶

[lifecircus]

letter, memory and time

you, star-t-

when I wrote you that letter I tought it will be the last one

my guts was telling me to be out

letters are important for me I remember the first (silly) thing I wrote to you, it felt like a "this is the only ever moment you can show it" thats why I had let you read I was in nervous an in a blinded deny , but I can see now I was shaking! I was in deny, stupidly denied but when I feel that I have a ONLY A CHANCE in life to do something, I just DO IT! because I belive that thats what life is about. if someone had told me that " dont worry, you will see each other again" probably I will never have left you read that silly thing thanks to god, I know you already forgot the silly thing im talking about.

you can pause time with letters, you can storage feelings in there and also they allow you to jump in time...

jump and stop time

isnt it magical?

-im too weird- too corny??Im really sorry-

im sorry, im not like this because im writing, im like this inside, in my mind and my heart, I wish that you could hear my words just jumping naturally out withouth my meditation of " its this ok in english?

… the last one?

funny. since I meet you I cant stop writing and drawing thinks for you because of you

what did you did to me?

and the prize for beating the record of more free drawings and silly words for someone special is for …the silly puppy so silly… -wiggle-?

maybe you will never understand how special was for me all the things you did for me you jumped it on perfect timming. you spoke out and said things from inside that I was not prepared to hear. and I was needing that and didn't know it you healed me and in a beautiful way, you had mean the world to me the time you spent with me, the way you looked at me when I was only in tears ill always be like "im sorry" about everything, because feeling to people get sick of me its my fear, I hide my feelings, I build a wall and I keep my real me hiding because fears, I also feel that I must pay for everything, because I dont deserve the good things that happened to me, but, well, not because I dont "deserved" it, its just because thats is not supposed how life must be, right? scary… but while most think about this, more I love it? more im in love with the idea of finding the half of me… the half of …uh, nevermind would it be possible? my fantasies are so stupid that sometimes I sleep crying imagining your voice singing to me, telling me that everything will be ok. but then I lealize that your voice with a " its ok" its already recorded in my memory… and also I already heared you sang! maybe my silly fantasies are not too impossible after all…? or maybe im in love of the fantasy itself? nah, im too old to fall on that kind of…

or… maybe im in love about you and I dont want it because you dont want it / feel it… and its ok!. sometimes I feel im in tears inside because sometimes I cant find words in this language … sometimes I feel dumb thinking about my ridiculous pronunciation or bad spellings you helped me to go trought that, I feel that I can do things, I feel that im special, BUT I need to pay por it. and I want to pay you because of it at the same time I cant believe that you are not geting bored about me. every single day im happy thinking that everything was a dream, and I want to keep it in that way, because if you ever decided that you are sick of me, or im too weird/ boring for you, for being friends or… well something else?. it will be easier to me to go trought that if I keep convincing my mind that you was my imagination I already stole your voice there ( sorry about it) …sick of me. it feels too good to be real I want to hear your heart to know how it feels and... heal your heart to make it happy. ok, Ill stop here, just one more thing: thank you

thank you today and forever, for create that special moment in time that I can rewind, pause, feel and stay for some seconds in time.

Thank you!

[thatnarcissisticfeel]

hi, thanks for answering, i appreciate it. also that you didn’t just call me toxic or some shit and tell me to fuck off. i’ve actually never thought of joining a discord server but it’s a good idea, thank you, i think i could try that. i guess on another account though to prevent anyone from accidentally finding out bc you know for yourself how it is. i’ll look up if i can find some kind of dbt workbooks online as well.

the journaling idea is good as well, i’ve actually been trying for a while but i end up rarely using it as a past experience left me with kinda bad trust issues about writing / drawing things down where someone could see them. but i guess i could try hiding it better this time or something. it’s just this thing that also sometimes venting like that actually ends up making me even more frustrated, as i realize i’ve already written about this exact thing countless times before yet still nothing has changed.

i’m trying not to make a too harsh judgement of my therapist yet, considering i haven’t been seeing her for that long, but… yeah. when i said that i’ve been going to therapy for years i meant going to a lot of different ones in this time. no one ever gets me. their advice is always so fucking useless. honestly at least this current one actually listens and doesnt make me feel uncomfortable or like i’m being judged. i think she’s the one i’ve been the most honest with because of that (and also because i just started telling her everything from the first session on already bc i’m tired of everyone always turning out to be nothing but a waste of time and money and effort), i generally lie to therapists esp my psychiatrist so i can get the meds i want (or else im 100% she’d just put me on some shit like antipsychotics, which ive been on in the past and i’d honestly rather kill myself than take them again, idk if you’ve tried them before but i basically felt r*tarded [idk how some ppl are sensitive of slur use like i personally dont care but i dont want your blog banned or smth] and tired all the time and it “”””helped”””” in the way that it made me too slow to be able to think about my problems. thanks psychiatry. not a traumatizing experience at all). i mentioned that i suspect i could have a personality disorder to her once or twice and she seemed to agree that it could be a possibility, but obviously no one can diagnose that fast. but i guess i’ll see. i really just want to know whats wrong with me, why do i think the way i do, why i can’t just be more fucking normal no matter how hard i try. but getting an actual diagnosis of a PD esp if it turned out to be this one would just mean i’d get treated even worse by every single doctor, not even necessarily a mental health one, bc physical doctors see all your records as well,, i’ve already been told my legitimate physical issues are just bc im depressed, or even if they dont straight up tell me they definitely treat me less seriously and i just know its bc i have mental illnesses diagnoses & im female.

i just … ugh. i feel so sick of it all and misunderstood. i know i can get genuinely abusive in arguments when someone upsets me but i really dont know how to stop or control myself. i hate that people act as if it’s all my fault. like everything i’ve gone through doesn’t even matter and i’m just an inherently evil person. like i didn’t have some kind of a terribly traumatic childhood, but i’ve always been either bullied or excluded by almost everyone i’ve ever met and all the social isolation honestly really fucked me up. i think that’s why i developed such a strong individuality complex as i’ve never been able to think all of it must be simply because i’m worthless. like fuck no, 99% of the people are dumb and shallow and ignorant towards reality of the world and i’m supposed to feel like i’m somehow worse than them? at least i have self awareness and my own thoughts. i mean i do think we’re all worthless because nothing in life has any value, so why should humanity be the exception? that still doesn’t stop me from hating everyone though. i may be a hypocrite but so is everyone else; and at least i don’t pretend to be a gOoD pErSoN. lacking empathy and not having morals doesn’t make me any less deserving of help even though i know how many people unironically believe people like me should just be shot. fucking brainless hypocrites, all of them.

but anyway yeah my point here is, fuck people who think anyone chooses to be this way. all of this has done nothing good for me other than made my life much harder. and not to mention unable to ever get genuinely close to anyone because what is the worth in a relationship if i can’t even bring myself to care about anyone? i don’t think “empaths” even realize how alienating it actually is. which is once again so ironic because THEY should be the ones to try to understand it, but no, they just generalize everyone and share the nonsense propaganda that we’re incapable of change.

so yeah, this turned into another vent but i really lack any people in my life who i could be honest with. i feel so lonely all the time. it’s not even really missing a friend group or romance or physical touch, it’s more of this feeling of feeling completely alone and that no one (other than a few people whose writings and actions i admire but they’re all dead) would ever be able to truly understand me. so yeah as cheesy as it is, sometimes it’s nice to be reminded i’m not alone by someone other than a generic social media post made by someone who’d 100% hate me if i told them even half this shit. can i maybe dm you sometime btw? i felt like staying anon while writing this bc i tend to get anxious with ppl at first but idk, maybe, if youre comfortable with that ofc

btw if its alright to ask can i ask how did you get diagnosed? what was the process like and how long did it take? did they suspect anything else at first? do you feel treated by ppl any differently now tjat you have a diagnosis of such a stigmatized disorder? (^ i mean these previous questions if youre diagnosed by a psych, if not its perfectly valid as well ofc) whats personally helping u to cope?

Good luck! I’m glad I could offer some help/reassurance. Maybe instead of a physical journal you could use a private blog or even just a notes app on your phone/computer if that sounds safer?

I do hope things improve with your new therapist and that things work out, it’s good that she at least agrees you might have a PD. Normally I’d recommend a therapist who specializes in PDs, maybe even especially NPD, but idk if that’s accessible for you and/or if you’ve already tried it and had no luck.

But again, I want to reiterate that you’re not alone, and what you’re going through and what you feel is 100% relatable to other pwNPD. I truly wish that more people understood us and the irony isn’t lost on me that it’s always “empaths” who are the ones who have the LEAST empathy for us. And I feel like the societal lack of understanding contributes to the more “ugly” or “stigmatized” traits of our disorder even more, tbh. Anyway, my point is that I definitely don’t mind at all if you vent, so please do feel free to DM me if you want to or feel more comfortable that way!

As for my diagnosis, it’s a bit messy — for context im a recent graduate from college and the bulk of my therapy came from campus services, where it was acknowledged I very likely had a PD especially within cluster B but I never got an official diagnosis while I was seeing the school-based therapist, and at the moment I’m trying to find a new therapist who can help me. At first we thought I just had a really intense form of rejection sensitivity dysphoria due to ADHD, then realized it was likely something else. So I’m a weird mix of “self diagnosed, but likely wouldn’t have admitted it to myself or realized it if a professional hadn’t pointed me in that direction.” Until I can find a professional im honestly just doing the best I can to help myself. Sometimes I get tempted to turn to substances to cope bc they make me softer and more open, and if you feel the same way I highly recommend avoiding this, ofc. I mostly use relatable music (lmk if you want my NPD playlist!) and DBT workbooks as a way to help myself, and I also just try my hardest to avoid or remove myself from situations where I might lose my cool and become toxic. Obviously this is easier said than done, but there are ways to do it. For instance, if I’m in a group chat where I feel like people are getting more attention than me, I’ll mute the group chat and maybe text someone from a different group one-on-one (not necessarily about my issues, just in general).I know that answer is pretty mild and entirely social media based lol, but it’s the best example I can provide.

[mimithings97]

Heartache (M)

Summary: You didn’t know such a feeling was so real, so vivid, so hurtful. But it had happened and happened to you before you could stop it. Tae had become written into your life hard and fast, so when you leave you question that maybe, just maybe, you weren’t willing to unwrite him.

Pairing: Taehyung x Y/N

Genre: Angst, Smut, Fluff

Warnings: Heartache for starters, Unprotected sex, Oral (male receiving), Swearing, Nude modelling, Taehyung’s a sappy mess, Mentions of Alcohol

Word Count: 6k

A/N: Can’t lie in saying how morbid it is that I enjoy writing angst. It’s light angst though and a lot lighter than how fucking whipped Tae is at the end. Much love for the bub though, so, enjoy x

Ahhh jungkook features as well forgot to mention. Still love him. Nothings changed there.

Heartache.

Cringy, you once thought to yourself. 

How could you be so dependent, so set and so immersed in something that your heart actually aches? 

It didn’t make sense to you until the day words were spoken that couldn’t be taken back, bags were reluctantly packed and more tears were shed than there is water in the Thames. Heartache was real, vivid and the hardest thing you have ever had to live through in your 24 years of life. 3 weeks of a deep set dropping in your stomach that couldn’t be shaken despite the booze intake, the occasional listening to his voicemails and the relentless tears.

Your mother told you that if you built up too many walls it would hurt so much more when someone knocked them down. You had told Taehyung this on the first date, your first date, ever, with any man. You had always drawn a line between pleasure and dependency, settling for short flings and the occasional online relationship (purely for the sexting) instead of the commitment and responsibility that weighed on vulnerable shoulders when you bear your entire self to another in a relationship. Taehyung knew this. But he fell and you fell harder. You fell completely and utterly under his spell for three years. 

And then he told you he wanted to marry you. Bastard didn’t even propose, just mentioned that one toxic word of marriage and you instantly laid the bricks of that wall he had so unceremoniously knocked down all those years ago.

It felt so adult yet so childish leaving someone over the concept of marriage, but when talks of marriage turn to talks of children and one party wants something completely different to the other, what kind of relationship is there to continue. 

So three weeks later, just as the physical pain of emptiness and heartache has begun ebbing away, the emotional trauma of your decision begins to cave in on you.

To Jungkook:

11:31pm

You: I know I said I’d stop this

You: But I really dont know if this is worth the pain

You: His mum sent me a get well soon card today bc he told her i was ill and that’s why i hadn’t visited

You: I’m never going to not love him

You: How does anyone get over this shit its not fair

11:35pm

Guk: Oh noona

Guk: It’ll take lots and lots of time and lots and lots of tubs of ice cream and wine but youre both adults who want different things and not everything is meant to be

Guk: Sacrifice for the greater good right

11:35pm

You: There’s no fucking greater good here

You: I hate this

11:37pm

Guk: Noona you know that down the road hyung wants children. I don’t think marriage was that big, but he’s always wanted to be a dad

Guk: It’s not fair of him to ask you to have something you don’t want but its also not fair to leave him without the thing he’s always desired the most

11:40pm

You: Its just too hard to take

You: It feels like three years for jack shit

11:41pm

Guk: If you’re really struggling that much, noona, talk to him. I know he wants to talk to you still, he’s tried to contact you everyday. Maybe it will give you some closure or just help you see what’s right

11:41pm

You: Love you

Your phone is down as soon as Jungkook mentioned talking to him. How could you take one step forward and a million steps back by talking to him? It would be like hanging just what you want right in front of you but no touching, no talking to them after that 5 minutes of hell, no seeing them ever again. Closure is what you need but never what you’ll want.

The sheets that surround you, nuzzled closely into your neck and still unwashed even after three weeks just to keep that tiny scent of Tae over you naked skin, warm you to the point your eyes drift. You don’t mean to fall asleep so easily, but when every little action weighs so heavy on you during the day, sleep comes too easily. However, so does the nightmares of crawling alone in the black abyss.

---------------------------------------------

Resuming work was never easy on a broken soul, but alas, here you were, with three weeks of sick pay under your belt you’d rather not have and 20 children at your feet.

Ironic isn’t it.

You break up with the only man you’ve ever loved because you can’t face a future of settling down with children, yet you wake up at the fucking godforsaken hour of 6 am to tend to a bunch of five and six years olds every day. No, you didn’t hate children, but they weren’t the joy of your life either. You were good at your job and you had this mad psychological complex that if you could help a child at five or six like you had so desperately needed at that age, then maybe you’d make their life just that little bit easier and that little bit brighter. Taehyung always found your reason for working so admirable - fuck that look of pure adoration in his eyes when you told him - so he found it equally hard to come to terms with when you told him the opposite. When you told him you couldn’t have your own children because the responsibility scared you. His ears were ringing at the point where you told him you also didn’t want to share him and his kindness, even so, the damage had been done, whatever the reasoning.

“Y/N! Jennie said you were back,” it’s a tight smile from you and a loose hug, but it’s amazing you’ve managed that with the way your head is far from in the room let alone the conversation at hand. “God, I hope you’re better, you were out for a while.”

You squeeze a weak laugh out, “Yeh, it wasn’t all that fun.”

“For a second me and Jennie were thinking you might be pregnant.” The heartache subsides, rivalled by the very distinct feeling of sickness. The ball of energy in front of you persists in conversation, but it’s to drowned ears and for a second you think you’ll faint. 

You miss your name being called. Shit, you don’t even know where it’s coming from, because the all-consuming feeling of this tide of emotions has swept you far from your spot in the classroom. Marie in front of you still calls, asking if you’re okay, but it’s the tug on your skirt, not harsh, but enough to garner a reaction that casts your eyes down.

“Miss Y/N?”

It’s Jojo, eyes wide and glaring up at you, still clung to the material of your skirt.

“Miss Y/N, why are you crying?”

You instantly draw the back of your hand to your face and it catches a cascading tear, much to your shock. You face must morph into a mortified expression at the thought of so carelessly crying at work, in the presence of the kids you look after with a smile and a skip in your step each day.

“Miss Y/N, it’s okay to cry. You can draw with me if you feel crying…” he shakes his head, “sad. Sad I mean.”

You feel Marie’s hand on your back, but Jojo’s eyes sweep you into a frenzy of more tears before you find yourself kneeling on the floor by the table. His table, where he sits alone each day, with paper and paints, or pencils, or chalk, sometimes he just folds it and hands it to you saying he made his paper into a flower. He already has one of his drawings on the go but scribbled over it thoughtlessly before starting out on a series of words. ‘To miss Y/n’.  Your eyes well further, but his words stop you.

“I think sometimes that drawings can make you better. Can make better the sadness.”

---

“Tae are you still going at it?”

You peer around the corner of the door, leaning half in half out of his man cave to study your boyfriend at work. 5 hours he’d been couped up in there.

“Hmm.” 

He didn’t let you see his art until the product was finished, completely finished, because sometimes he’d say he was done and then go back when he’d found the smallest error only to get pissed off that you had witnessed anything other than the completed masterpiece.

“Tae, you’ve been in here for hours, just come out to help me cook.” You plead with him over the canvas, not daring to peak any further.

“I know, I’m sorry.”

He hasn’t looked at you since you came in, his brow well and truely glued into a furrow and the tea you’d brought him earlier cold and untouched beside him. You lower your tone into a more serious one.

“You okay?”

Silence.

“Done.” He doesn’t sound relieved or happy at the finalising of a five-hour art project like most would, like he normally does. He’s merely, ‘done’.

With an apprehensive tone, you ask, “Can I come see?” A gentle nod and you round the canvas, his arm dropping the brush in favour of tugging at the skin of your waist until you’re gently seated in his lap.

It’s beautiful and it’s simplistic and there’s so much life and emotion in it that you know the five hours weren’t all spent with brush to canvas but with him mulling over the memories and thoughts it conjured up.

“Your grandmother’s house?” Your voice is soft, not a pitying soft, but a soft that lets him know he can talk freely.

“Hmm,” he presses a kiss to the shoulder exposed by the shirt that hangs off you loosely. “Wanted to do something for her.”

You let the silence and the painting speak for itself for a while as his hands brush at your sides and you lean into his head that rest against you, chin to shoulder as his warm breath lulls you into calmness.

“You miss her?” 

“So much.”

“Painting makes it better?”

… another kiss and a sigh, warm.

“Mmm. Sometimes painting and drawing just makes the sadness a little easier, just makes it better.”

---

You see Tae in this tiny boy, this boy who draws to ease the sadness, who coups himself away on his table to be alone, too afraid to cry in front of the other boys and girls. Is he doing it too? Is he alone and painting? 

Then Jojo slides you his paper, wordlessly and your eyes with dried tears, prick once again, heartache replaced with something completely different, regret. And now hope. It’s those small boys words on paper, insignificant to him, and probably tiny in the grand scheme of things, but it’s his words that make you seek out for the one thing you know you can’t live without, the one thing that will heal your sadness.

‘To miss Y/N, i hope your crying gets better soon. Its okay to cry but its also good to make you happy. I hope you find your happy. From Jojo.”

You’d already found your happy, you just had to get him back.

-------------------------------------------------------

“Y/N!?” 

And it merely takes your name for you to lose every word on your tongue. Any word you could’ve conjured at that moment couldn’t have described how you felt. He looks dishevelled, and beautiful, hair unwashed and falling into his eyes, white top littered with stains and his pyjamas bottoms you bought him for Christmas hanging off his hips. 

His eyes lull from their immediate shock before he turns to look at his apartment, running a frantic hand through his hair and stumbling on his words. 

“Shit. I- I mean. I wasn’t really thinking- I didn’t expect you.”

You probably shouldn’t have come. Some people would’ve turned and gone the other way. Maybe that was the right thing to do, was that the brave thing? Were you being a coward by rooting to the spot and not being able to speak a word?

He looks at you, then behind you somewhere, then back into your eyes and his gaze sinks so far into yours, you think you might just cry there and then.

“Dooo you want to come in?” He sounds apprehensive, he probably thinks you are too, but all you want to do is be back in his apartment just like three weeks ago, touching him, talking to him unhinged, perhaps feeling the skin beneath his shirt where his heart lies, feeling if his heart has ached as yours has.

With blinking eyes that try not to glaze over, you nod, short and curt, and you miss the puff of air his mouth rings out with relief. 

He dashes away once you’re past the threshold, scampering around as if to distract you from the surrounding environment - it’s dusty, too cold and dark with the way the curtains shut out summer light and you barely recognise his floor as wood with the way food scatters and clothes are strewn.  Small shards of light reflect from out of the study and your eyes naturally draw there only to find a mess, door open just enough for the hoard of half-finished painting and wasted canvas’ to come into view. The door is closed by Taehyung like he knew where your gaze would lead you.

“I-I’m fucking sorry about this, it’s gross and it’s messy and i-”

“It’s just like mine.” The corners of your mouth turn up sympathetically but also because you’re relieved he’s not okay. It’s awful to say but heartache has clearly done a job on him too and for that you’re relieved. “Don’t worry, it’s just fine.”

“Just fine,” he mutters under his breath with a half-laugh. 

You’re still stood stuck to the doormat, jacket hanging tightly to you like a defence mechanism and your hands remain tight to your sides. When his eyes find yours, you seize up further like it’s the first time he’d ever seen you.

---

You’d told Janice one too many times for this situation to be coincidence. You may or may not have told her you were a sucker for exhibitionism. She’d found it all shits and giggles until the art class she headed entered into ‘naked form’ week and it was too good of an opportunity to pass by. 

So the robe drops and you’re way too aware of the last time you shaved - you think you’d be prepared, but pair a hangover with a 7:30 start and bodily care wasn’t the first thought to come to mind.

Janice gives off a flow of instructions, pointing to your body like you were a cow on show, and telling the artists to ‘admire her form, the way her body dips and flows and let you brush or pencil do the responding as though her body was talking to you’ - you almost scoff aloud at her waffle because art is so full of shit.

Exhibitionism kink or not, you’re thirty minutes in and the way your hip cramps and you eyelids lower, there is nothing alluring or desirable about this. 

But then the door on the far wall swings open all too harshly for your eyes to feign jolting away. And they blow out further when they’re met with the masculine figure uttering apologies and skidding halfway from door to seat with his urgency.

‘Just women’ she said. ‘Nothing to be worried about,’ she said. It ruined the whole ‘i like being stared at by fit men’ at first but then put you a little at ease that some 70 year old man, trying to spice up his last years of life with a too expensive art course, wouldn’t be staring your tits down. 

Yet here you were, with a man with eyes too beautiful to be tarnished by the view in front of him, gazing in shock at your naked body.

“Mr. Kim, it’s nude form week. Guessing you didn’t get the email?”

You only have your imagination for what his voice must sound like because he only shakes his head, throat too dried and scorched from you laid out, baring it all in front of him for him to say anything.

But your imagination didn’t do justice in those two hours of torture. Because his voice telling you he’s ‘sorry for interrupting the session’ and even ‘sorrier for being so unworthy of staring at something so beautiful’. 

You’d always hated cringe. But cringe never sounded so good when it was spun off Taehyung’s silk tongue.

---

“Can I get you anything?” 

It’s him who breaks the silence, and it’s a godsend because you were two seconds away from spinning on your heel and cowering out of the entire thing.

“N-no. Thank you, Tae.” 

He groans at the timidity of how you say his name and nickname at that.

And silence soaks the atmosphere again, tenser this time because greetings have been uttered, drinks offered and there’s nothing more to say that unspoken words of the past.

That’s what you thought you were here to do at least. To tell him you’re sorry, first and foremost, because you’d never intend to break a soul as tender-hearted as his. Then you were supposed to tell him that you loved him, and you would always love him, and that sacrifice must be made for the greater good.

Jungkook had told you that once. But he’d said Taehyung must be the one sacrificed and you should be the one salvaged - until you realised there was no greater good in that situation, no salvation to be had.

“I’ll sacrifice myself,” words come out loud and unexpected as your train of thought is voiced. They’re too loud also, and they break the atmosphere to his shock, so his brow furrows like he doesn’t understand. “I- I will sacrifice myself for you.”

His face falls and you can’t bear the way his words stutter and his throat fills with a choked cry, as though he’d held it in as soon as your presence had hit him. It must have done the same to you because your body befalls you and tears and on the floor as you work your feet towards where he is rooted.

“I can’t ask that of you. You know I can’t do that,” he closes his eyes when your  body meets his, hands firm on his cheeks because they’re wet with tears and his shoulders are hunched in pain, “please.”

“Please.” You reciprocate. 

This is it for you. You’ll do anything for this quivering shell in front of you. You’ll plead. You’ll beg. You’ll give up your livelihood and every mantra you have ever told yourself about self-preservation because fuck it, some things are too good that you have to lose yourself in them. 

“You- I-”

“I’m- I might not be ready for kids now. I will though. If that’s what it takes. Fuck it I’ll marry you tomorrow.”

He chokes on a sob when his eyes meet your pleading ones and a quick hand wipes the stains from his cheeks so he can see every expression you give to him - untainted and full of love.

“We can take our time over this or we can have it all at once, but it has to be we. I’ll really do it for you, I have to Tae,” another sob and a whimper, “isn’t that what we’re here for. Kids.” You’re babbling now in a frenzied expression of all you have to give, and you’re so lost in his eyes that you laugh out, “‘be fruitiful and multiply or some shit.’ I’ll do it, I swear to you.”

“You’re not even Christian.”

“I would be if you told me to.”

“Fuck.”

He kisses you quick and without care, wanting to feel everything you have to give him like it’s what keeps his heart beating - and it’s beating fast because you finally find fingertips under his shirt and against the pounding that intensifies underneath.

He grapples at your hair, then waist, then hair again because his hands can’t decide on what he wants most. So you grab at them yourself and intertwine fingers as though he’d never left you. Each knuckle deserves a kiss and that’s what you give when your lips part.

“I’m so sorry-” you keep kissing across his hand, “I ever left,” and bring his hands to your neck, “never again.”

The tears subside in his eyes as they do yours. There is still relief, hot and painful inside your stomach because you have come back to him and he has taken you back, as if there were never to be anything but the two of you as one, yet now he finds your lips in something that claims more than just love. Possession. He has to know you’re his.

You were correct when you thought his room would be as sorrowful as yours - heartache as painful as what you had felt. 

Food containers stripe the floor dirty. Towels strewn and clothes dirty and forgotten. Again the blinds are closed as though you’re not here at 5 in the afternoon when the sun begins to fall into the red and purple hues of evening. 

But the blinds leave enough of a gap that his face is haloed, angelic and all too beautiful for your eyes to feign staring when your mouth departs his. Eyes glow amber and skin glows golden and you never want to look away, not from him, not now.

“You really want this don’t you.” There’s no question to the way Tae speaks. Instead, it’s disbelieving, like he can’t quite fathom that it’s really your shirt he has under his fingertips and your smell that lingers under his nose. Heartbreak had slowed his heart enough that it’s beating too fast for him to keep up with, so he slows it down.

“I really want this- You. I really want you.”

“And everything that comes with me? You’re sure?”

It’s a loaded question but at this point it is so light on your shoulders you laugh, grabbing and pulling up his shirt so you can sink lips to his chest, trying to find the beat of a heart somewhere there. 

“You act like you’re a chore, Tae.” You’re eyes soften when he still looks like you like he’s young and vulnerable. “Baby, I am so sorry I ever did this to you. Left. And made you feel like that.” 

Your hands map his skin delicately and you preserve how it feels because you hope, but never know, if you’ll feel it again.

“Never again, yeh?”

“Yeah.”

Clothes are shed until he looks at your naked body like the art that he first saw it as. He wants to paint it, remember it and cherish it as though he’s never seen it before. Every scar and blemish, precious to his vision, but the painting would only be worth it to him because he’s all who gets to see you.

“You’re not gonna turn off the lights?” 

Something that you’d told him was a habit of yours. Maybe something, a subconscious body image thing that was another way of saying, ‘I can’t give my whole self to you, I’m sorry’. He’d ran with it as though it didn’t hurt his pride. But now, as you push him down on his bed and clamber over his thighs, he’s so grateful he never got to see you in this light, because he loves it all the more now.

Fingertips tremble over your thighs when your hips find his, naked crotch so close to where he throbs. 

“Tae,” his eyes don’t meet yours, pieced, instead, onto where your bodies are so close to meeting like his gaze can fuse them together. “Tae, it’s me. Relax.”

Purposefully, your hands find his hair and coax him into a state of submissiveness, because his body still quaked underneath you no matter the words you uttered. 

You can’t lie when you say sex was a factor in your relationship you had missed. There was a heartfelt bond that went deeper than sex.

Admittedly the flatmate before Tae, the friends before the boyfriend and your parents who knew you better than you admitted to yourself had all said you were sex before substance. Some hated you for it and some laughed. Some said, ‘I wish I could be as emotionally detached as you’ and some thought you were the local gal whoring about like bodies were meant to be used. Then, somehow, Tae flipped the whole thing on its head. Made you feel butterflies before orgasm and it had you spellbound. 

So, no. Sex wasn’t it for you when you were with him. 

Yet, here you were, over your man gleaming with the physical sweat of want and need as well as the even more apparent glow of how his body lit up for only you.

“How do you want me Tae, what can I give you?”

“Fuck.” His hands fall over his eyes, not comprehending that you’re his and you’re this plaint. No, he wants you to take over him. “Anything, baby. Fuck. Anything.”

Instantly nails brush over the hardness that had been laid out under your folds obediently since you’d found yourself on top of his crotch.

A man could only control himself so much and immediately Tae found his dick twitching and his hips leaving the mattress in favour of chasing your hand.

“Y/N, I really don’t know if I’ve got it in me for teasing, I’m so horny I could cum!”

Well then.

The outburst has you struggling to fight off a laugh because he seriously is that desperate. Not the laughing kind either. The all-bearing, stripped clean and pleading kind of desperate.

So, you sympathise and let your lips find his, hand still trailing lightly so he doesn’t cum early, but enough for the need to remain.

“You wanna be inside me Tae?” His tongue is on yours yet the words are clear. 

“Urgh, fuck, please.”

Your eyes peer between your bodies, mapping where his muscles, tight with restrictions, create a V-shape down to the very distinct outline of a red hard cock. You think it’s photograph worthy in the moment, something worth slipping the camera out for, and if you hadn’t kept his dick pics from months ago maybe you would. But:

“Please baby, -need it.”

You deny yourself the simple pleasure of slipping him in because Tae whining and pleading is something worthy for the spank bank. You drop lower down the bed so his hips meet your eyes and the skin glistens so beautifully in this light you have to leave his dick untouched just so you can kiss around the area. 

His stomach, thighs, crotch, they see it all, lips and tongue mapping bold strokes because he tastes just as you remember and you want to savour it.

“Y/N ple- oh fuck,” and the taste of his dick beats anything that preceded it, let alone the noise that came with it. 

His tip is taken care of first, small licks and stripes with your tongue, so he’s unsuspecting when you choke him whole.

“FUCK.” 

Hands grab your hair violently. He’s deep and hits the back of your throat so you choke, unashamed of the noise. You’re past that and you know he likes it anyways. 

You set a rhythm, and it soon becomes clear he’s going to cum from it and that you very much want him to. Your hand finds his balls to fuel the process and the other one snakes to your core because there’s nothing that beats Tae’s moans when he’s getting a good sucking. 

“I- Fuck Y/N, I can’t- Shit!”

He’s close. Stomach seizing and balls throbbing in your palm so you sink back down again and take the choke like you want it and you want his cum more. It’s fast from there.

“Love you. I’m cum- Fuckkkkk,” salt and warmth line your throat, but only for a short while because he came quick. His hips stutter a few times and your eyes water when you continue to take it. 

Then it’s cold and silent. Yet somehow you feel buzzed. Like someone cumming down your throat was enjoyable. Like you’d do it a thousand times over if it meant he’d say he loved you again.

The hands that had once set deep into your scalp and verged on making you horny now pulled at your cheeks to lift you to eye level. 

He’s sweaty and a mess. 

“You’re sweaty and a mess baby.” 

His laugh is unfiltered, wholesome and worthy of the way your heart stutters.

“Because someone’s got a mouth on them sent from the gods.”

Blush overtakes your cheeks, whilst your stomach tumbles over at the fact that your blowjob skills are up to scratch - you thought a month off might have done something to your ability but clearly, you’re still on point. The bitter taste in your mouth tells you enough. 

“What’ve I done to deserve you coming back.”

Sincerity returns into his eyes as well as his words, and somehow you feel his dick twitch again from underneath you. He’s so soft under your hands so you keep feeling at his skin to reassure you he’s real.

“Nothing. You’re enough. You’re it.”

You kiss and kiss again, keep going until the fire ignites in him once more where it still flamed for you.

“Please.”

His voice is low no matter how much he whines so a guiding hand slips him into where you’re filthily wet. And he’s huge despite seed already spilt. He’s loaded like it was meant for you and not your mouth, throbbing enough so your pussy can feel it.

And suddenly you realise it’s bare. Complete bare. As in, bare enough that you are willing to take on a child kind of bare.

His eyes tell the story when yours find his, wide and curious. They roll back into whites when you pull up fully and then sink back down, milking him for all he has so he knows this is your full intention. Naked in every sense.

“Shit, Tae.”

“Fuckkkkk,” he doesn’t swear often, but sex is a must and the quirk of your lips tells him just how much you like him losing himself in pleasure.

He hits deep from here, cock lodged far in and even further when he begins to take control. 

His feet plant and his hands pull you down so skin flushes to skin and he can pump up into you with unadulterated need. 

Your teeth have to clamp onto his shoulder with the way he hits your cervix, it’s uncomfortable yet you love it. That kind of sex where everything is so fulfilling that you just can’t mutter ‘stop’. How could you say such a thing anyway when he’s groaning that he loves you with every upbeat.

It hits good once. Twice.

“Tae, fuck. There.”

Three times. 

“Here?”

Again.

“Oh my fuc- Fuckkk,” and there’s nothing you can do when you’re so stimulated you tumble deep and hard onto him and continue to do over and over in waves. 

He’s finding his end in the way your pussy grips him. 

“Baby. Y/N, Cunt so good, jesus.”

You’re burning when he’s going so fast the headboard bangs louder than your moans. So your hand quickly finds his balls underneath you and that does him, unravels him to the point he quakes.

“Holy- Love you. Love you. Fuck. Love you.”

Your ears might ring but that’s all you hear for the next minute. His mantra that keeps his lust alive until his love is so set in stone the words are not needed. 

Your hand, winding into his hair and the thrum of your heart against his tells him enough.

It’s this. Silence and tranquillity yet with the constant buzz of electricity all around you.

You’re still there entangled, limbs on limbs and lights touches on bare skin as the slither of light through the blinds turns ruby red in the heat of sunset.

You know his eyes must glow golden from where the sun angles on his face so you can’t help but spare a glance. And you’re right when you imagined it as beautiful because the sun bathes him like it was meant to. 

He’s still awake because his eyes flutter when you trail the outside of your fingers down his cheek and then onto his lips. It’s even more apparent when he brings his hand up to yours so he can kiss each knuckle individually.

“You came inside.”

It weighed heavy on you, the obvious factor that had happened earlier. And before allowing the beauty of the moment to settle in you had to see his expression when you mentioned it.

Yet there’s nothing but closed eyes and the slight smile that had been painted on his lips since you’d told him how much you wanted him.

“Mmm.”

“And you’re okay with that?” It’s not harsh, just a question from you. A security query because you have to know what this was for him. Caught up in the moment or something deeper?

His eyes bolt open at the question though.

“Are you?”

You almost have to think. Almost.

“Yeah. Yeah, I am.”

“And so am I.”

[snow-wind-and-all-we-will-find]

Hi! My names arthur and im working on improving my word and building my story, which currently has no name haha! I have a myriad of characters who ill try to list out and give brief descriptions of, aether is technically my main character and some of the characters who are up for question are dead in canon. But you can still ask them stuff, itll just be set before death.

When asking characters questions, rememeber to include the name, their age if theres diffrent ages, i dont mind repeated questions, but if you see the question try not to ask it again lol. If you cant find it with a quick scroll just ask it, although i dont know if this blog will even get that big.

Aether

He comes in three evolutions lol, technically, theres four but idk if i would count 7 year old aether.

Ages: 13 yo - colder, hasnt gotten used to emotions, there are two to this as well, pre-rev and then post-rev 13 yo aether, remember to specify lol.

16 yo- a bit more out there, still kinda disconnected and figuring things out, a bit more defensive

22 yo- lax, hes sorta figured shit out, hes not going to go grazy, hes just gonna be chill lol.

!The gaggle Ghosts!

Yurei

Her personality is very, ehhh, becuase i havnt done work with her, and i havnt completly figured out who she is fully yet, shes 18 yo when aether is 22 yo

18 yo- pretty oblivious, somehow still a bit cynical, very nice and sometimes motherly

Kakoku

Few thousand- mean, likes to bully yurei as he huants her, lowkey a simp for yurei but he wont admit that. Kinda cynical and likes to bring others down, generally a bully

Tamashi

19- emotionless, has to be a really strong emotion to make her emote, tends to stray away from other people, likes to be alone, blunt

Gunnar

A few thousand- sweet, warm and welcoming, tries to be very fatherly and a trusted figure, is very busy most of the tiime unfortunatly though.

!The greek gang!

Argus agapov

16- unstable, pretty baby, protective over friends and family

Mythos agapov

23- whore. He also loves his family, lowkey, hes a trad wife

Perceus

15/16- timid, intrested in posiosn and acids, generally quiet, likes to eat leaves, scaredy cat

Diogenes

14- germ of phobe, kind of a brat, more just a bitch, will yell at you if he sees your hands were dirty from gardening or something while you’re walking to the sink, other than that hes fine, picky eater

Herodotus

15- disorginized, trys his best, likes to write stuff down, helps plato with his writing and grammar in general, gullible, likes record data, has a nice typewriter with tha good clicky clack

Plato

8- sweet baby boi, loves his older brother (socrates), idolizes him even, not a good idea though. He writes down everything socrates does, sometimes he imitates his brother as well.

Socrates

17- dumb of ass, also just dumb, held back a grade, feral child, bites alot of people, soft aestechic but hed stab as a warning

Heracles

30- also dumb of ass, loves cars in that ‘mah babeh’ kinda way. Hates motorcycles, he thinks they’re ugly. Chaotic but he utilizes it to be the weird and cool uncle/cousin thing

Zeus

46- too tired for this shit, is a dad, went out to get milk, jk jk, dissapeared for a hot few years, probably got captured by some gang dunno, it happens. Very serious, would make the dumbest jokes with his brothers with a straight face

Hades

50- lowkey the neglected middle child, soft goth lookin ass, loves his kid, tries his best to raise his kid, sometimes gets help from esme

Poseidon

57- proud stay at home dad, buff but does the typically wifely duties, makes sure his children get enough love, nutrience and care

Lillith

54- very active, the money maker, kinda soft, both her and her husband poseidon are so just in love with their kids, dote on them constantly, very extroverted, always makes time for her kids

Esme

51- tired of zeus’ shit, does her best to make sure no one dies, still treats mythos as her ‘little baby boy, tired mom vibes.

!the Eden gang!

Eden is a fictional country that i slapped onto the globe. It is where aether is from, technically aether is apart of the eden gang as well. Everyone here, if they have an age option, the first age option is the age they are when aether is 13, and the second will be when aether is 16 unless stated otherwise

General kyelli

49- fatherly, thinks of most of the gang as his children, calls everyone ‘son’, as a general rule. If you ask for another nickname, he will do his best. Has a bad knee, and is kinda of bad at existing physically

52+- fatherly still, loves almonds, always has a bag of almonds, dont test him. Enjoys travel, might adopt people he meets along the way, still has pains but now he sees doctors, wants to stay active

Indigo

13- sweet, optimistic, always looks on the brightside and tries to see the good in others. Little heater, understands that sometimes fighting is the only option

Akrano

16- lively, very loose and relax, can get serious when needed though, always making jokes and trying to lighten up the mood

19- a bit more, mellow. Still quite lively and childish, but with two signifigant-others you have to settle down sometimes

Ekrano

16- lively, more stern than akrano and kinda worried, but ultimatly also very loose and bright

Lilliana

16- serious, seemingly colder towards everyone, gets along great with psycho-lops, makes him new eye-patches to pass time, actually just very monotone and blank most of the time, although she does care

19- she doesnt change much, she got a bit more expressive, likes babysitting howl

Psycho-lops

16 1/2- always looks determined, actually kinda scared of conflict, likes to help out with healing though, very proficient in it as well, sounds intimidating while talking about how cute puppies and kittens are

19/20- still the same, is considering studying medicine and medical practices to become a doctor.

Bark

17- bright, incredibly lively, loves to joke around and tease and sometimes bully the others, targets aether primarily, hangs out with his brother most of the time, he can fight for himself but he likes the backup, especcially since he is kinda glass-jawed, being that hes a twig

Bite

17- quiet, intense eyes, always sounds vaugly confused when he speaks, deep voice lol, likes to train, doesnt understand barks need to tease others, likes to read to the children

20- quiet, intense eyes still, more so nervous sounding, slightly paranoid, cluastrophobic and cant stand dusty places, usually in his house or at the docks, doesnt really go anywhere else

Hanelle

17- loud, headstrong, adamant about her opinions, gets along well with bark, she tries alot to be intimidating, not a twig, but not very big, pretty friendly and sociable

!the band of pirates!

Aklea

A few hundreds of years- kinda bored seeming, loves blood, technically cannibal, but not really since he isnt human, to an extent. Despite being fine on the ocean, he gets very car sick very easily. Actually quite nice, very easily triggerd into violence, especcially by something that could be used as a good murder weapon, blood makes him jittery and more lively

Nerone

21- calm, too calm, deals with akleas bullshit wonerfully, he just stands there, blank smile on his face as aklea beats the shit outta someone, unintrested in most anything, likes to draw, but hes a much better pastry chef.

!the shakespears!

Midem(pink boi)

33- lively, loves to work with kids, very creative, likes to make things, mainly art, mainly carvings. Often make little minitures of scenes from midens writing, loves his twin, does anything it takes to fund midens intrests. Very loving to those hes close to

Miden

33- calmer by alot lmao, pretty introverted but he can hold a long conversation without becoming too drained, enjoys writing and making stories, also makes plays for fun, runs off little sleep cuase he stays up so late to write, and gets up early to write.

!gods!

Gideon

9 billion- confused boomer, loves his ‘children’, hates to be hated, always tries to help in anyway he can, despite making them, always curious into what mortals are doing, loves the universe he created and does anything he can to protect it

Merik

7 million- sore loser, does get a little salty, ultimatly bounces back and becomes a very good sport, always will adopt tactics, whatever it takes to win within the rules, keeps most all of his trophies from random feats hes done

Ventus

5 billion - calm, straightforward, tends to disregard others and do things himself, likes to sit on cliffs and watch the ocean

Kyle

Hes been around since 776 bc- very loud, lively, bright, tries his best to educate people on proper form, workout regime i intesne, doesnt allow others to take it, makes custom workout regimes for free, owns a gym, dude bro but hes nice, baby

Horo-sha

Her age technicaly is not accurate, shes like, 2 billion? Since dima was made right after her death. But since her history still lives, ima count it

5 billion but older than ventus- bitter, violent, former god of justice, fucking dead haha, hates mortals, primarily humans

Dima

Also not super accurate, hed only be a few centuries of being an active god before being sealed, but since hes technically, concious and has cognitive function hes counted

3 billion- mean lol, likes blood and gets even more violent when it starts getting messy, ‘new’ god of justice, uh, pretty bad at it like the last one, but worse, will kill over slight misdeameanors, everythings a crime smh

!misc!

Ivan

24- softspoken, from imperial russia, died young, he no longer feels his face is his own, has a mask that he likes better, has the sickness, but since he was human it killed him, can control it post mortem, is strong enough to be seen, but weak enough he can go invisible and go through solid objects.

More ocs will be added when i remember them, or create new ones, characters i dont really have built at all are not included

[voidselfshipp]

Saved

Cw: violence, food

Ok to rb

It was late, she knew she shouldnt be out at this hour.

Yet here she was, a bag of food in her hand, another with her keys ready, her breath quickens as she feels the presence of someone behind her.

She had the strenght to take them, she knew she could defend herself.

But there is no worse enemy than fear, she speeds up, and the Man behind her also does.

Shes praying, seeing her appartment was two blocks away,trying to start running.

Another Man walks infront of her, she cant see his face,just a black and white mask, who as soon as she passes him gets infront of the stalker stopping him.

-- get out of my way, asshole-- the stalker said.

-- what where you doing following her?

She knew that voice,or well she heard it before,the moon shined as some clouds move away.

Rorschach...

She didnt think the anti-hero would be around this block, but thank goodness he was there.

The stalker resists and rorschach in a swift move makes him fall on the ground-- leave the woman alone-- his foot stomped on his chest-- go back to the hole that you crawled out of,you Filthy Scum!

The stalker freaks out and bolts running away from the anti hero.

He turns to face jerico,walking some steps towards her-- are you hurt? Did that bastard do anything to you?

--No, thankfully, thank you uh...for saving me...

--im happy to help, can I Scort you back to your home?

--yeah id love that...

Both walk togheter in silence, the appartment building was silent as ever, she says her goodbyes and enters the building.

Rorsarch, or well, Walter, sighs, scratching the back of his neck, the woman he saved was so beautiful, If she started talking while walking he wouldnt know how to react, hed get nervous, his face would heat up and wouldnt be able to utter a Word, surely making a fool out of himself.

He stuck around the block for a little longer, and Walked up the Fire scape stairs, he peeks his head and there she was, fifth floor, asleep on her bed, something curled up besides her, she rested soundly,and he lets out a loved full sigh, putting a hand on the locked Windows glass it started to rain, and he then sighed in annoyance.

And so he went back home,making sure he wasnt followed either.

He took routes nobody knew, he checked every corner and alley, nothing,no-one tailed Him to his home.

The door clicks Open, he locks it behind her and takes off his mask,breathing the fresh air.

Taking off his clothes changing into normal ones,leaving the others in his secret Office.

As he enters the kitchen hes greeted by this tiny pomerarian jumping at his feet, he picks the dog up and kisses its forehead-- hello princess,did you miss me?--the dog barks and he makes himself something to eat.

After dinner, altough, late dinner, he went to sleep,clinging to the pillow,thinking of the woman he saved.

And so, destiny kept making them meet, or more so, rorschach would always make sure shed be safe, even during the day.

Silently following her from a distance,oh how much he blushed when he heard her laugh, her sense of style, it knocked the breath out of him sometimes.

He wished he could do something,anything to talk to her, but he cowered every time.

One particular Day,she had it rough, when the day ended he saw her throw herself on the bed,and pass out shortly after.

Hed got her some chocolates and roses, left them there in her room as she forgot to lock the Window,he left them on her desk, silentely stepping out and closing the Window.

--Good night dear...--he smiled under his mask.

Jerico woke up by the licking of her pet dragon she sits up hugging him--mornin...

The dragon squeaks and she looks at the desk, finding the gift someone left for her, walking up to it she reads the note attached to the box of chocolates "I know you had it rough yesterday, I hope this helps, I know nobody gave you flowers before... I hope todays better.

-W "

Who could they be? How did they gor in there-- im...such...an...idiot-- she locked the Window and put the flowers in a base filled with water.

After eating breakfast she sat on bed, laptop on her lap, writing the next chapter of her second Fantasy novel.

Unkown to her, her savior did enjoy her first book.

Now rorschach wasnt a Man of fiction, but her writing was just so catching and interesting.

So here he was drinking coffee while Reading on his kitchen, princess sitting on the table eating her food.

He found out she was a writer when he snucked into her home and found the first book of her novel, "the clan of the Rose dragon" he decided to buy his own copy, and he was enjoying it very much.

That same night he did his patrol and stopped in jericos home.

There he was, hand on the glass, wishing he was there cuddling besides her, specially tonight,a very cold and rainy night.

-- are you gonna come in or Will you Keep there brooding

Seeing her Open her eyes while talking to him makes rorsarch jump back, she opened the window-- come on its cold outside

--i uh...didnt mean to bother you

Jeri chuckles-- nonsense, come on

He steps in taking off his trenchcoat, he sits on the chair right infront of her desk, she sits on the edge of the bed--thanks for making sure im always safe ror

He smiles at the petname,--just making sure that creep isnt around to harm you

She chuckles--y'know...I was thinking...I got some roses and chocolate the other week, did you get them for me?

Hes surprised,howd she knew?-- yeah...--he said scratching the back of his neck -- howd you figured?

-- well...youve been brooding in silence these nights...and the roses and chocolates...I just figured...I liked the detail, thank you

--im glad you like them...

Both stay in silence,he then looks outside and yawns.

--Want to stay the night? Its too late

He snapped his head to her -- what?

--want to stay the night? Its late, and youll catch a cold,cant have my savior sick -- she winks at him and he looks away with blush creeping up his cheeks.

--i uh..I dont wanna bother but...if you insist I can take the sofá

--no no..come here stay in the bed, its warm already, ill take the sofá in case you want to take your mask off, to give you privacy

Normally anyone would kill to see his face..but there she was, geniunly respecting such boundary.

--dont do that, ill take the sofa its your bed...besides I know I wont get too much sleep

She got into bed and patted the space besides her-- come here then,lets share

Hes taken back, jumping slightly in his Seat, blushing red, he was stuttering,she was so beautiful, he didnt know what to do with himself.

--i dont want to look like a creep, its your personal space

-- Its not being a creep if I invite you

He sighed in defeat and took his scarf and shoes off, he locks the Window and draws the courtains laying on the bed with her.

--Night ror-- she said her back facing his.

--night-- he whispered back looking at the bedrooms door.

The Next morning he woke up with breakfast on the nightstand, just a coffee and she made pancakes.

He ate the breakfast with the happiest and biggest of grins, he washed the dishes, hough the sun was already out, he stayed the whole day and at night he would go back home.

Both shared lunch and dinner, not too much speaking was involved, but her presence was soothing.

And now at night he was just about to leave,he hugs her tightly and whispers a soft goodbye.

She caresses his cheek-- come back tomorrow?..

His hand lifted her face by the chin--of course sweetheart --He caresses her Lower lip and presses his lips against her forehead, even while using his mask,the kiss was as if he didnt have the mask on.

He left back home missing her terribly, his lips longed for hers, to hold her, have her wrap her arms around his back...

Rorschach sighed in love, he loved her so much.

So the Next night he came back and as soon as he stepped into her room lifted her up, hugging her tightly and taking off his mask, at least up to his lips to kiss her.

She kissed back and pressed him against the wall where the Window is,he grippes the Windowsill with one hand, the other ghosted her Lower waist as her arms wrapped around his neck.

He parted his lips, she smiled pressing hers against his again, hugging her tightly he drops her to the bed where they cuddle the night away.

Its late, the rain hits the Window and the thunder struck the Sky.

She caressed his cheek, rorsarch sighed--can you promise me something?--he asked.

--Of course...what is it?--she asked leaning in.

--If I take this off, Will you Keep my identity a secret?

She nodded--of course,I adore you too much...id never snitch on you ror

He licked his lips at took the mask off, oh wait, she saw him before, he would follow her around the city,she always knew he was familiar to her in some way,never really knowing what seemed so familiar of him.

She kissed rorsarch holding him close, he hugs her tightly.

-- I love ya so much--he said hoarsely, kissing her again.

-- I love you so much too...ror

He smiled-- my names Walter...you can call.me Walter

She nodded and hid her face on the crook of his neck.

Theyd spend the night like that.

Theyd be okay togheter.

[arthurflecksgirl]

Mysterious stranger /Arthur being stalked by you

This was a request by someone on Twitter :)

Arthur is being stalked by a pretty girl /YOU

I decited to write from Arthurs view and the girls view.

So it switches.

Arthur and reader

Romance

Warnings: Nothing really, mentions of mental illness,

ENJOY :) <3

ARTHUR I just woke up all sweaty in in the middle of the night one more time. My insomnia was getting bad again. I felt like it has been getting worse since mum was at the hospital. I was worried about her condition. I even forgot to take my meds yesterday, which was bad. The pills helped me to find some rest at night. Without them my mind was racing, keeping me awake. Driving me INSANE. I usually started to write in my journal when I couldnt sleep but without my medication there were just black scribbles all over the diary when I looked at the pages. The last time I was off my meds I wrote the whole night through and when I looked in my journal the next morning,there was nothing but blank pages. Nothing. So, there is a reason I shouldnt forget to take them. But too many thoughts ran through my head yesterday, I just didnt thought of anything else. First of all I thought about Penny and if I was the reason she ended up at the hospital. I felt like I am a burden to her. She always told me I was brought into the world to spread joy and laughter. But she doesnt even think i`m funny. Imagin what a disappointment I must be to her.I was born for a reason and I couldnt even fullfill my destiny. This shit really kept me awake. And some other thing... A week ago I just came home from my therapist. And when I was waiting on the tram station, there was this girl in the middle of the crowd. She just kept on staring at me like... I don`t know. She just did. And it kinda scared me.I wasnt  used to peope staring at me like that. Usually I was the one observing things around me. Watching people. I always tried to observe. I need it for my jokes. The best jokes are inspired by real life actions. Stuff you see happening on the streets. I also watched people closely to understand what they are laughing about and how they react to jokes. Sometimes I sat on a table at Pogos and made little notes about what I think is important. I really wanted people to like me. I wanted be a light for them. Gotham needs some light. I wanted to be listened to and I wanted to be seen. I`ve got a lot to say but I`ve never talked to others cuz I didn`t knew how to start a conversation.  So I watched and learned how others managed to do that. I realized that my timing is a bit off when I laughed at others jokes. I`m wasn`t sure why. I needed to find out. Anyway, I wasn`t used to someone staring at me. I always wished someone did and when I saw that girl I should have been happy that she saw me but I didnt knew what to do about it. I wasnt sure WHY she was looking at me the way she did. If it was for good or for bad reasons. And I guess thats what made me insecure about  the whole situation. As soon as I got in the tram I kinda forgot about it but two days later I saw her again. I was standing in the pharmacy and was just about to pay, when I saw her standing outside the window. She was beautiful. There is no doubt it was the same girl. She was looking at me again.  I payed and when I turned around she was gone. For a moment there I was scared it might be another episode of hallucinations. That would be really bad. But it could be. I mean... why should a pretty face like her standing there, staring at me TWICE? I`m afraid this isnt really happening. Dr Kane said I should watch out for more hallucinations, especially about girls. So I will.

YOU This city made me sick. It`s beent two weeks since I moved here and already hated it here. It was grey, it smelled and people were rude. I didnt wanted to become one of the peole here. It seemed like it was a bad desicion to move here in the first place, but I couldnt afford to pay rent anymore, so I ended up here, in this really bad neighborhood.  I felt like I screwed up my life. Sleep was something I barely remembered. Every night I was lying awake, afraid of someone might brak into my apartment. Like I said... bad neighborhood.You couldnt trust anyone here. A week ago I got so nerveous while trying to sleep that I got up, made some tea and watched out the window. Even at night people walked down the streets, mostly homeless guys. It was one ugly, rainy, cold night. I sipped on my tea and watched the raindrops falling on the dark pavement. Like the whole city was crying out loud. I burned my tongue on the hot cup . I swear I saw someone standing in the window across the street. But it was no one there. Oh great, I thought. Two weeks here in Anderson avenue and you already start to see shadowns at night. But then I saw it again. It wasnt a shadow. It was a man standing in his kitchen, smoking a cigarette. Oh, just a neighbor, no shadows. Good. I realized that I could see most of the kitchen, his curtains were kinda see though. He turned around so I could see his profile. He had almost shoulder long, bown hair, slightly curly, a beautiful jawline and high cheekbones. I could tell from the distance that he was indeed very beautiful. I turnedmy light off to make sure he couldnt see me standing at the window, looking into his. But he didnt looked out the window anyway. It looked like he was talking to someone, but as far as I could tell he was the only one in the room. I watched him puttig down his cigarette as he took off his dark red sweater. I didnt expected him to be this thin. It seemed like he stopped talking and suddenly he started to raise his hands above his head, moving gracefully. He was dancing all alone by himself. In his kitchen. I couldnt help but staring at him and started to feel kinda bad for watching this behind my curtain. But something about him was just so insanly attractive. i stared at his fragile chest, his bony ribs, his messy bed hair. I guess he couldn`t find sleep, just like me. I wondered if he was sleepwalking. The way he moved was extraordinary. Suddenly he stopped. I almost got scared because I was so drawn to his dance moves, it seemed so unnatural to just stop. I took a step back from my window because he came a step closer to his. But he just leaned over the sink now. It looked like he was crying.  Something about this hurted my heart. I didnt even knew him but I couldnt help but feeling empathy for this beautiful, fragile man across the street, He was crying harder now. I felt my eyes watering as he slapped his own face. Why would he do that? Then he watched out the window. I was hiding in the corner of my room so fast I guess my curtains moved. I hope he didnt caught me staring. My heart was racing. Was he still there? I waited two minutes till I watched out the window again. He was gone.

ARTHUR I decited to go through the pages again I had written a week ago. I have to figure out why I remembered writing something that wasnt there in the morning. I skipped though the paged and stopped at a page that didnt even looked familir to me. Little drawings of catladies smoking cigs. i don`t remenber drawing this and start to read. "Insomnia is choking me again. It wrappes its strong arms around my neck, smothering me to death. At least thats how it feels while lying in bed, staring at the ceiling. So last night I wandered around the apartment for at least two hours straight. I smoked two packs of cigs as the music started playing in my head again. There is always music in my head, well, most of the time. Sometimes it gets so loud I can`t ignore it anymore. Its just floathing althrough my body, like energy. It holds me in its warm arms and I have to obey. It wanted me to dance again last night, so I moved around the kitchen to the music and it was so tragically beautiful in between the movements it made me do, that it almost started to hurt my body. So I stopped and wished for the sound to stop but it didnt and I just stood there and started to cry. Watching my tears falling into the kitchen sink, like the rain outside. The music still playing in my head. I slapped my face. Hard. Still noisy. I watched out the window. Gotham was crying, too. The city was just as depressed as I was. I swear I could see a shadow in the window across the street. But thats impossible. The neighbors there moved out some weeks ago. Must be my visions again."

YOU I couldnt stop thinking about the man across the street since I saw him. I watched out the window for so many times but I didnt got to see him for about thee days. But then I saw him crossing the street as I was just about to go buy some food. I know it wasnt the right thing to do but I followed him. I just needed to see him closer. I kept my distance so he won`t notice me. He was walking like someone that just got beaten up, his thin body hidden behind a brown sweater , and a jacket that looked way too huge on his small shoulders. He kept looking to the ground, his brown curls hanging sweaty upon his forehead. Even though his body language looked sad, he still managed to be extremly attractive to me. He was walking to the tram station and waited on his tram to arrive as I tried to be just a face in the crowsd, so I could take a closer look at him. I passed some people standing in the way until I found the right spot. There he was. Just about some foots away from me.And suddenly, as I was staring, he was looking right at me. God, I felt like my heart just sopped. Never ever have I seen more beautiful eyes in my life. So intense, piercing right though me, green but so very sad. I dont know if it was just my mind playing tricks on me but i felt like he caught me staring. I wanted to  turn around and leave imediately but his tram arrived and he got in there before I could even react. At night his pretty face appeared in my mind. Againa nd again. I just couldnt get him out of my head.I was closing my eyes, and caught myself dreaming about kissing him.  I laughed at myself. Silly girl ! Dreaming about the mysterious new neighbor was such a clishe. But it wouldnt help. I still wanted to get to know him. there was something so mysterious about him. His little dance in the kitchen. The crying at the sink.... his eyes!   I thought about ways to just talk to him, I mean we were neigbors, right? I could find a reason to just go to him and say something. But nothing came to my mind. So I decited to follow him one more time. Maybe he would just ran into me and we would talk. Two days later I saw him leaving the house again, so I threw a jacket over my shoulder and got downstairs in a hurry. This time there weren`t much people around so it was even harder for me to follow him without getting caught. Something about watching him started to turn me on.It was fun to fantasize about someone who didnt even knew you existed. But at the same time I wanted him to know that I exist. Maybe not yet but... He went to the pharmacy. I stopped outside. I thought about going in and pretend I wanted to buy something. But I forgot my purse so this would have been embarrassing. I saw him from behind, his blue pants looked baggy on him. Everything did. And just when I thought this was a good situation to stalk him, he turned around again and I knew he saw me. He looked me right into my eyes! I captured the moment he looked at me in my mind and tought about it in the afternoon, when I was lying in my bed, dreaming about touching his beautiful face. Soon he became my fave fantasie. I couldnt even find pleasure in any other daydream anymore. He was my sexy secret and I liked it that way. But I just knew that soon this wouldnt be enough. I had to get closer. I wanted him to see me. Not just from across the street. I wanted to get to know him as a person. I needed to know his story, I needed to know why he was so sad.

ARTHUR I just couldnt figure out my very own diary anymore. Something definitaly went wrong at the moment. I guess all the lonelyness got too much. I mean, I must have been used to this  but i wasnt. It got harder every day of my life. I wished for someone to love me so much that I had visions about girls. I tend to get them a lot but then it stopped for a while and now it seemed to start again. I was kinda worried about my condition and took two more pills today. I knew I shouldnt but I thought it would be better than forgetting to take them again. The slight overdose made me sweat a lot so I was in underwear only for the whole day, just lying on the coouch, watching all my fave episodes of teh Murray Franklin show. The only thing that made me stay up was going to the kitchen to make some coffe. I watched out the window while waiting for the water to bowl. There she was again. the girls I saw at the tram stationa nd at the pharmacy. She was crossing the street. I checked my forehead for fever.  I was burning up. Must be the overdose. "She`s not really there" I whispered to myself "Arthur, she`s not real, don`t even look". But I looked. And I could swear she was looking up my window before she headed to my house. I blushed. But I guess that was also caused by the fever. God, she looked like an angel. Such a sweet girl. She would never even  give me a look in real life. I knew that. And if she did... I wouldn´t even know what to do. I`ve never been with a woman before in my whole life. I never even kissed someone before. I`m just a loner. All I have are my fantasies. And Dr Kane wants to take them away from me,too. Maybe I should just give in and accept them. What if it wasnt a hallucination this time? What if this girl really saw me? What if?

You I did it. I wrote him a postcard. I held the card in my hands for like an hour and stared at it. I thought I wasnt brave enough to actually throw it in his letter box. But I did.I sneaked into the house and when I was standing in front of the letter boxes I wondered which one could be his. Thank god  some lady just got out of the elevator and I asked her which letter box belongs to the window with the thin curtain. And she told me that they belong to apartment 8J. It just took me about some seconds to find the right box. P. FLECK. There it was. FLECK. I threw my postcard in without giving it a second thought, otherwise I would have changed my mind. I was heading back home, blushing.

ARTHUR I woke up with a bad headache. Another appointment with Dr. Kane. I wanted to take a bath but I was too lazy and decited to let it be. I just brushed my hair back, lighted a cig and went out the house. I checked the letter box and hoped for a letter from Thomas Wayne, I mean, I knew there wouldnt be one but it would make my mother happy so I still hoped for it. Somehow she was obsessed with Wayne and I didnt even knew why. My heart just skipped a beat as I saw an hand written postcard. Wayne? I started reading it. "Dear mysetrious stranger, You don`t know who I am but I saw you out on the streets some days ago and I think I fell in love with you. I even dreamed about you at night. I really hope you`re doing fine. Kisses The girl who loves you"

I just kept staring at the letters. I rubbed my eyes. the letters were still there. The girl who loves you. I must have blushed. Was this real? I let my fingers slide over the paper. It felt real. I turned the card around. A plain red heart on white background. I touched it so many times and hoped for a proof that this was eighter real or a dream. Sometimes I am not sure anymore. Who would ever send me a card? I searched for a stamp. None. Someone must have threw it in the letter boy by themself. The girl ! The girl I saw on the street. Now it all made sense to me. Was she following me? I smiled. The thought of this pretty girl having a crush on me was wonderful. But I got scared at the same time. I could never get up and talk to her. How could I? I bet she thinks I am some sexy guy who knows how to get it on. She was dreaming about me? What dreams? I imagined her touching herself while thinking about me and I giggled to myself. "Nahh she wouldnt do that" I said to myself. Reading the postcard again "Or would you, sweet strange girl?" I put the postcard close to my heart. Her fingers must have touched the paper all over when she was writing me these lines. Does she want to touchme with those fingers? Oh I would love to touch her fingers. But what if she ever comes up to me personally and I would just stand there, frozen. Not a word coming out of my mouth? The thought of this scared me a lot. My biggest fear was to laugh in her presence.The laugh that wasnt really one. My condition. That would scare her away for sure. I felt my eyes watering and a tear fell on the postcard, right on the word "kisses". It smeared, which made me even sadder. I needed this card to be perfect. I felt the urge to laugh coming up my throath. But then something else came to my mind. What if I showed the card to Dr. Kane? She could proof to me that this card truly exists. The urge to laugh was gone. I put the card into my paper bag and hurried up to see Dr. Kane.

"Hello, Arthur. How have you been thoughthe last week? Any negative thoughts?" Dr Kane was repeating her same old questions again as I smoked my cig. Next thing would be asking me about my journal. BUT I would have something much more interesting with me this time. "I brought something with me today" I said as I grabbed the card. "I wondered if you could take a look and tell me what you think about this?" Dr Kane took the card out of my hands. She read it. "Who gave it to you, Arthur?" "The girl who loves me" Dr Kane gave me that look "Arhur..." "Well... it says `The girl who loves you `  there at the end, right? "Right" "So, you see it too?" "Sure, Arthur" She gives me the card back. I smiled. It was real. The card was real. Which meant the girl was real,too. No hallucinations. No visions. "Good" "So someone send it to you?" "I found it in my letter box, it has no stamp" "No stamp? Are you sure you didnt wrote it yourself?" she looked confused. I bet she couldnt imagin someone falling in love me me eighter. "Dr Kane, you know how my handwriting looks like." "Right. Can I see it again?" I gave her the card back. Her eyes are focused on it. "No typos" she whispered to herself. "Looks like someone really likes you, Arthur. Be careful" "W-what do you mean?" "You know that you sometimes... well... you tend to lose sense of reality sometimes. It could be difficult to meet up with a girl for you". I put the card back in my bag. "You think I couldnt handle it to have a girlfriend?" "Thats not what I said..." "It is exactly what you said" I got up and left the room. "See you next week, Dr Kane. I cant do this today" I got back home and placed the card under my pillow. I wanted to sleep on it. It was the first love note I ever got and felt so special. I grabbed my Pjs out of my wardrobe and looked at the red suit hanging in there. I never put it on by now. I always felt like it is waiting for a special event in my life. But nothing special ever happens. Until now. The card. the love note. The girl. I grab the suit and walk to the mirror. Holding it in front of my body to see how it would look like on me. I felt so insecure when thinking about dating a girl. I didnt knew how to react in front of her. Maybe the suit would help? I shook my head. Nahh. Just a stupid thought. Back in bed I imagined how it would be to have a girlfriend. To go out on dates with her, walking hand in hand across the streets. I bet Gotham wouldnt be half as bad as if its now. Sharing my life with someone. My bed. Having someone to cuddle with at night. Someone to calm down my bouncing leg. Someone to have sex with, It would be sweet. I fell asleep with a smile on my face.

YOU Its been a day since I threw the card in the letter box. No answer. Of course not. He didnt even knew who I was. I watched out the window and hoped to see him in his apartment again. I got lucky this time. I saw him lying on the couch watching tv. He wora a cosy PJ and looked so cute in it. Still sexy though. I could eat him up. I wish I could just go over, knock on his door and tell him that i am the girl who send him the card. I wonder if he even got it yet. maybe he didnt open the letter box since then.  I saw him smoking, writing down some notes.   I tried to see more details of the living room. There was a clown mask and a costume hanging beside a mirror. It seemed like he had a thing for clowns, which made me think. maybe I`ll have a lil surprise for him... I searched through my stuff and  found the big, red flower that used to be part of a Clown outfit I was wearing years ago when I dressed up with my best friends. It looked brand new. Maybe he would like it. I put a little note on it and decited to put it in front of his door. Tomorrow. I couldn`t wait. The next morning I got out of bed early, to wait till he got out of the house.  When he did I sneaked into the house and waited till someone came out again, which lastet at least 50 minutes but it was worth it. I got in the elevator and walked to the door which said 8J. I hold my breath for a second. That was were he lived. He walked through that door every day. I wish I could just walk through it and go into his apartment.Looking though his stuff. I was a bit shamed of myself for having those kinda feelings. I felt like a stalker. But I couldnt stop my own thoughts from wanting him.  I put the big plush Flower down on the doormat and touched the door knob. Just to touch it. To touch what he touched  some about an hour ago. It felt sexy.

ARTHUR I just came home from work at Haha`s and felt drained. It was a long day. I got out of the elevator and saw something lying on my doormat. A big, red plush flower. Like one for clowns! My heart jumped when I picked it up. There was a little note saying "Dear stranger, if you want to meet me , I`ll be at the little fountain in the park today  at 7 O`Clock . The one with the litlle bird stature. It would be a pleasure to get to know you better. Kisses, The girl who loves you"

I bit my lips. Another note. She wanted to meet me. My hands were shaking while reading the note one more time. I actually was shaking so much I had troubles to get my keys into the lock. I threw my jacket on the couch, sat down and pressed the plushy flower to my chest. It felt so soft to the touch. A present. I never got presents. Not even when I was a kid or on my birthdays. Everything about this felt so special. I wanted to meet her so bad but at the same time I was so scared about meeting her, I stood in front of the mirror and looked at my reflection. I looked tired. Drained. Like someone sucked the life out of my. Heavy bags under my yes, from not getting enough sleep. I brushed my hair back. Better. At least a lil bit. I checked the time and realized it was already after 5 O`clock. I got no time to waste. Should I really go there? Or was Dr Kane right?

YOU I got ready for my potential date. I  didnt even knew if he would show up but i hoped so. I dressed up in my usual clothes. I wanted to be my authentic self around him. I was already waiting on the spot 30 minutes too early. I just couldnt wait any longer. I needed to know if he would come. I wanted to get to know him so bad.

ARTHUR Alright, I could never forgive myself if i wouldnt take the chance, so I decited to show up. I took a bath to feel fresh, washed my hair and put on some nice clothes. Not the red suit though. I picked dark red pants, a matching vest and a white shirt under it. I hope I looked decent in it and bought some roses before I made my way to the park. I bought them from the last dollars I had but I didnt cared. I wanted to give her some nice flowers. Gotham looked different today while watching out of the trams window. Less dark and depressing. But I guess it was just me feeling better as usual. I just wanted it to be a nice date. I just wanted her to like me for who I am. I got out of the tram, walking into the park. I saw her from a distance already. There was just one person standing at the fountain, so it must have been her. She was so beautiful, I couldnt belive she was waiting FOR ME. My hands holding the roses started to get all sweaty and I wiped them off on my pants. I stumbled right in front of her as I arrived and the flowers fell out of my hands.  "Ooooppps...I`m...I`m so sorry.. I...." my nervousness killed me. She similed at me as I picked up the flowers and handed them to her "I....um....brought you...som..something...um..." I stuttered. She gave me the sweetest hug "Thats so sweet of you...? Um... I don`t even know your name" she was blushing. "Arthur. My name is Arthur." "Hey Arthur. I`m Y/N. Nice to meet you. Thank ou so much for the roses. They`re beautiful". "Yeah... thank you for the notes...I don`t know what to say...you`re beautiful". Y/N smiled from cheek to cheek. "Thank you, Arthur. Would you like to take a walk though the park and get some coffee later? It would be a nice way to get to know each other. What do you think?" "I think this sounds just wonderful". She gently wrapped her arm around my waist as we were walking though the park. It was a late summer evening and for the first time ever I noticed the birds singing. The music in my head stopped. Maybe Gotham wasn`t as bad after all.

[bluesweatersleeve]

Aw, what's wrong? Are you sick?

for @corkcollector

from yur uhhh are you sick drawing :)

fitz/matt..???

tl:dr = fitz kidnap poor babey matt, gives him pill(s) and now matt has bad stomach ache :(  oh cam? Uh cam not here… anyways…

Its bad and rushed because i had like 50 ideas for your drawing and i just decided “welp, whatever i wanna put in along the way ill just put oh well” lol ill have a list of what i wanted to put at the bottom

DAMNIT ITS FORMATTED DIFFERENTLY awhatever im too tired to fix it im sorry please forgive i might fix in the morning but i must sleep my leg tingles

-

The rope began to hurt his wrists, though his ankles became numb to the constant pricking of the roughness. The ropes little bumps and ridges scratched at Matt, going up and down, sometimes side to side. Being restrained to a chair meant non stop struggling, and the rope had begun to dig into his wrists, and even though Matt couldn’t see his wrists, he bet that they were red with pain, perhaps more red than Matt’s red flushed face from the humidity of the basement.

Even if Matt had been stripped down into nothing, the heat would still feel like as though it was personally choking him. Matt didn’t know if it was the heat or maybe if the wounds scattered across his body began to become infected from neglect, but he began to feel sick. And it was evident through his coughs.

Though the coughs felt more like than just a cough. They felt as though it was killing him slowly, and perhaps it was, but Matt refused to let himself die in a dusty, muggy basement. Especially a basement that didn’t even belong to him or a friend. The coughs only progressively got worse though, the outcome transitioning from nothing to blood. It was always blood, never anything else.

Matt refused to look at the small blood patches surrounding him. He knew it was there, and he knew it was from him, but the look of it made the coughs return. The smell was bad enough, but the look of the dried, and recent blood combined only made it worse.

Matt’s only release from everything was when he would pass out from lack of food, or when night fell, and he would be left alone to sleep for the next round of abuse. Though sometimes, his captor liked to interfere with Matt’s temporary feeling of freedom.

Sometimes, Matt’s captor makes Matt sick. But Matt would rather die than be sick.

-

The cold water splashed onto Matt, the water, although a refreshing feeling from the constant heat Matt felt, was still a shock, and it stung into Matt’s fresh scars from his captor’s lovely session of torture earlier in the day.

“Ah-!” Matt gasped, the pain and shock combining into a sound. Matt gasped for air as the water dripped from his hair, and began to cough, already feeling something build in his throat. “F-fuck!”

Matt coughed, the blood falling from his mouth and landing onto the floor with a soft splat.

“Disgusting.” The man that towered over him laughed, throwing the once water filled bucket off to the side. He moved slowly as he stood off to the side of Matt, narrowing his eyes when he saw another blood patch fall to the ground. Fitz scoffed as Matt’s coughs continued. A sly smirk played onto his face. “Hmph, look at you. Weak, puny, dying.”

“N-no!” Matt choked out, spitting the blood out from his mouth. The blood ran down his lip as he weakly glared at Fitz, the fighting spirit in his eyes beginning to stir again. “I-I’m not-”

Matt’s head dropped down as another coughing fit began, his throat beginning to ache as blood clogged up, feeling like it only moved a centimeter each hack he had. The blood came out in pieces, landing in the water coloring it red. Matt felt like passing out from the coughing fit, but his attention was focused on Fitz who smiled smugly at him.

“I-I’m not dying..”

“You so sure about that?” Fitz asked as if to mock Matt’s statement. He laid his hands softly onto Matt’s shoulders, holding it with a wicked grin. “You’ve been coughing blood for how long now? 3, 4 days? Oh! And how long has those wounds been on you? 6, or maybe a whole week?”

“No-”

“Oh Matt, how will you ever get better after this? Normal medicine won’t do..” Fitz said, looking at Matt who turned his head to the side to avoid his gaze. “Good thing I don’t use normal medicine.”

Matt’s eyes became alert and his head whipped around to look at Fitz. Fitz smirked at him and brought his hand behind him, pulling out a bottle of white pills. Matt’s tough persona broke, and he shook his head, lowering it, and feeling himself begin to break down. Fitz chuckled, and rattled the bottle as he circled Matt and stopped in front of him, looking at Matt’s lowered yet almost still head. The tears fell onto Matt’s already wet shirt, and FItz rolled his eyes.

“Stop crying, you fucking child.” Fitz grabbed a handful of Matt’s hair and pulled it up, forcing Matt to look at him. Fitz’s face scrunched up as Matt looked.at him tearfully. Matt snarled and glared at Fitz, who growled back. “God, you’re disgusting. Good thing I’m getting rid of you.”

Fitz opened the bottle, and took out a few looking at Matt who stared at the pills with fear. The white pills looked as though they were glowing in Fitz’s hand under the moonlight. The rest of the pills were thrown off to the side, close to where the bucket lay.

Fitz approached Matt, and time seemed to move slow, as if to torture Matt in what might be his last day alive. Matt stared at Fitz through half-lidded eyes, who stared at him back. Fitz managed to catch him off guard and grabbed Matt’s hair quickly, and pulled it again, Matt’s mouth hanging loose to which Fitz used to his advantage and dropped the pills in. Matt instantly tried to spit them out, but failed when Fitz clamped a hand over his mouth.

“Mm- mh!” Matt shook his head, trying to remove Fitz’s hand from his mouth. Fitz grabbed the back of Matt’s head and held him still, smiling as Matt’s half-lidded eyes turned wide eyed with panic. “Mmm!”

“If you swallow it, this’ll be over so much quicker.” Fitz said, tightening his grip on Matt’s head. Matt shook his head, but complied when Fitz began to crush his hands together.

Matt closed his eyes as he forced himself to slowly swallow the half dissolved pills, having to also swallow the bitter and gross saliva pool in his mouth. Matt opened his eyes and glared at Fitz when finished, but he folded when a sharp and sudden pain hit his stomach. Fitz let go of Matt and watched as Matt twitched with pain.

Matt breathed heavily and looked at Fitz, who smiled cheerfully at him. Matt lurched forward, and cried out in agony as the pain continued.

“D-damnit..” Matt heaved, dropping his head as the pain disappeared and reappeared. “F-fuck you!”

“Aw, what's wrong? Are you sick?” Fitz laughed, glancing back at the bottle of pills. He smiled and turned back to Matt “If you’d like, I can give you more.”

“N-no!” Matt writhed with pain, feeling it beginning to throb, as if it had a mind of it’s own and knew Matt hated it. “Please, no!”

Fitz cackled and stepped away from the view in front of him. Matt’s poor attempt at trying to stop the pain ended with the rope on his wrists digging deeper into him. Matt didn't know what to do, but all he felt was an extreme pain that seemed to spread all across his body. Matt wished he could scream, but his throat was clogged with blood and saliva, only letting whimpers and chokes out.

Fitz held Matt's head softly, trying to stop himself from laughing as Matt shook.

"Ah, don't worry Matt, by this night you should be dead." Fitz proudly announced to him, pulling away from him and walking to the door. "Keep coughin' Matt, because if you're not dead by tonight, then I'll kill you myself."

Fitz revealed a metal bat that rest just behind the thick wooden door frame, and tapped it on the floor, letting it echo, and sound over Matt's pained whines. He took one last glance at the soon to be corpse, and smirked at what he has made of Matt.

The door slammed shut, and Matt knew it was the last time he would hear it, thank god, because Matt could already feel himself slipping from consciousness.

Matt smiled weakly and looked at the door.

"I'll see you, Cam.." Matt murmured, dropping his head, letting the pain overtake him as his breathing slowed. "I'll see..you.."

-

WELP heres like all 50 of my ideas lolol

-fitz pretends to be cam, puts something in matts drink and turns him into a mindslave (and a 2nd one but matt dies instead)

-fitz pretends to be cam, puts something in matts drink, and matt begins to forget stuff, and eventually forgets e v e r y t h i n g, and is stuck in an neverending existential crises

-matt was gonna spit in fitz's faces before being forced to take the pills

-matt was gonna go crazy after taking the pills like "death? dont know her! fuck you!"

-there was gonna be no bloody cough before but i said yeah sure why not

-fitz was gonna wrap ropes around matt to increase his pain, or he was gonna let matt out of his chair but like, break his limbs (then i was like "wait a minute idk how to write bones!), and let him writhe in pain

-cams spirit gonna appear oOoOo (then i said no! this isnt wattpad!)

-idk in the basement theres a small ass window, and i was gonna have some weird ass connection to the moon but was like nah

-was gonna add a whole thing of cam being the next victim and matts dead body just in front of him the whole time, and fitz comes down and he's holding the pills

-^^if i was gonna add that, once cam died, fitz was gonna call his fukin goons and be like "alright the first couples down, get the next one. ah..swagger and toby was it?"

-i was too lazy

-bUt there was gonna be one where cam just breaks into the basement and beats the shit out of fitz and leaves with matt

-^^or it was gonna be fitz reacts like the fucking flash and beats his ass first and taunts matt with his bruised/dead body

-i was too lazy

okay im donee..its 4:02am im gonna sleep i hope you see this hahhxhhdha

bye sisters, respect the queen or i slice your peen

of course queen is toby.

[healingisntenoughineedtopassaway]

WE ALL KNOW that a lot of people are dependent on social media to express themselves and their emotions. personally i like to use it to write out what im having trouble with. But i dont really want to disturb others with my intense emotions and neither do i want to bother myself responding to whatever the person is saying to be honest i could just write about whatever happened to me in a diary, but ill admit i still want to be heard

with that being said, i will begin my rant. yesterday ive experienced a very dreadful loss. lili, my little dog, passed away and i watched her painfully struggle as she did. it was one of the worst things i could probably witness and it happened in my room. and it was kind of sudden too. she was diagnosed with cancer a whole while ago, even had surgery done, her health wasnt at best but the day before it she still jumped around and barked like her usual self and wanted to play around. that day i honestly thought she got sick from the little bit of duck my mom gave her and that was all because she did act weird in the morning but yes. yesterday she couldnt walk, if she did she would go around few rounds and then collapse while struggling to breath. also peed blood everywhere. i wanted to call the vet but complications happened that i dont even want to start on writing because it makes me feel overall really awful. i cried all day, pet her a lot and tried to help her get to a comfortable position or walk around a bit. i feel like even though she struggled a lot, she fought well with the pain and had the same spark in her eyes and i rooted for her. but yeah, it didnt last long, she collapsed again and i could see the actual shock and pain in her eyes, i feel like in that moment we both realized whats happening to her. and i begged we take her to the vet, but yeah. complication . it didnt happen. and i panicked. and i cried a lot this is the second time ive experienced a loss like this, the first one was my grandfather and i still remember the day we got the call and my mom and i were both hysterically crying rocking back and forth on our bed while my sister watched us in shock he was diagnosed with pancreas cancer, was at the hospital for months so we would visit him occasionally. i remember giving him a drawing as a gift and he said it was pretty but refused to keep it and it made me feel really upset. and im now remembering how unaware i was about his situation. but yeah i was only around 10 years old. but yeah as i said he was at the hospital for months, we would see him sometimes, even came back home for a few days. so i did kind of get used to the extra emptiness in the apartment, it was one voice less. i cried a lot still with a dog though, i guess theres no other way for it to happen than very very suddenly. so seeing the extra emptiness in the apartment makes me break everytime. realizing that i dont see her bed in the corner of my eye nor do i hear her snores or her nails clack on the floor makes me feel so, empty and like im going mad. looking at her bowls makes my chest hurt because i know ill have to empty them and then store them somewhere else, because theres no use of them anymore. along with her collars and leashes. its dreading. it especially drives me crazy when i act as if shes still here, i move my chair a certain way or look around to see where she is so i dont step on her.

i miss her. im so sad. im so sad because i wished for a miracle and thought that fate could be weirdly twisted if you think hard enough. very childish of me im aware. i want to talk to my mom about her more but i feel like were either both mentally occupied and if we did i would end up screaming and crying. i wish my mom could tell me more about how shes feeling. my parents buried her on our land in our village, for some reason that fact made me cry so hard. i wish i was there but i had to attend class. i feel like what makes this so much worse than it already is that i saw her go like that. it was very bad. i have never seen her make an expression like that and i know its going to haunt me for a very long time maybe this will sound so stupid but at this point i do hope heaven exists. i hope shes up there or somewhere better, having the time of her life, its a comforting thought even though its silly. my mom played sunday morning by the velvet underground earlier that day, and neka vali gingolaju svoje barke. im starting to associate those songs only with lili i love you lili, you were the cutest dog i have ever lied my eyes on, we loved you, and we will miss you. rest in peace pupy. i wish i could ruffle your fur one last time and give you one last kiss.

[okjimin]

🍯 mutual appreciation post!! 🍯

✨🌙⭐️💛💫 to all my lovely wonderful kind friendly amazing hilarious mutuals!!!! i’ve only been on tumblr for a short time but Listen i love u all soooo much thank u for brightening my day everyday!!!! 2017 was such a shit year for me but spending the last few months on tumblr dot com rly cheered me up and i hav u all to thank for that!!!!! to all of you that celebrate christmas, i hope u have the best christmas EVER and for all of you that don’t i hope your day is filled with warmth happiness and love!!! and i wish all of u a happy new year, i hope 2018 is an amazing year for u all, u all deserve it sooooooooo much!!!!✨🌙⭐️💛💫 

(i tried 2 do this in order of oldest to newest mutuals !!!!)

💌 @1jmins: dia where do i even begin?!?!?! i cant believe we’ve only known each other for like a few weeks honestly that’s INSANE bc it genuinely feels like ive known you forever!!! we get along soooo well and you’re so easy to talk to, we are basically the same person like???? still cant believe we were literally put on this earth to love each other??? im still struggling to get over the fact we were born a day apart, our natal charts are pretty much identical, wow amazing.......soul mate Goals......anyway did i mention how hilarious, sweet, kind and warm and just all round perfect u are?!?!?!? i live for our 1am wattpad reading sessions and when we dub bts performances with stormzy and craig david!!!!! still cant believe bts invented british grime like???? u make me laugh sooo much and honestly one of the highlights of my day is talking to u!!!! i love u soooosoosooooossosoos much bb and i hope we get even closer in 2018!!!! and u know that when bts finally come 2 the uk me and u are going to spend £300 on tickets and flash our tiddies for jimin.........pls dia i Love U!!!!!!!!!! have a wonderful xmas and new year!!!!!!! sending u so much love bby!!!!! my actual twin sister and soul mate!!!!!

💌 @ktheaven: nadine u are soooo sweet and lovely!! i could write a 2000 word essay on how kind you are! you’re one of the first people i ever spoke to on here and im so glad we got talking bc youre seriously such a lovely, warm hearted person!!! youre so thoughtful and caring!!!! also, youre sooo hardworking!! im sure all your hard work at uni will pay off and you will get the teaching job of your dreams!!! i love u lots and i rly hope you have an amazing 2018!!

💌 @kimtaethebae hannah!!! youre literally the first person i ever spoke to on here!!!! youre so cute and bubbly and funny, we havent spoken that much lately but i hope youre doing well and that you have an amazing christmas and new year bc you deserve it soo much!!! im sending u so many positive vibes bb!!!

💌 @43hy adreana bby!!!! you were one of my first mutuals on here!!!!! a true og!!!! your blog is sooo cute and your posts make me smile and always brighten up my day!! i hope 2018 treats you will and that you have an amazing christmas!!! 

💌  @rainpjm hannah you were my first mutual ever i think!?!?? i literally love ur blog so much u make me laugh so hard with ur censored posts bc im like binch SAME.....ur sooo cute not to mention amazingly beautiful!!!!!! i hav a crush on U!!!!! u totally deserve to have the most wonderful christmas and new year angel!!!! 

💌  @piedparkjimin dakota!!! another one of my first ever mutuals!!! listen i love u youre soooo sweet and kind and i really do wish all the best for you in 2018, you honestly deserve all the happiness and warmth in the world and pls remember im always here if you wanna talk!!! your txt posts always make me smile so much thanks for brightening up my dash bb!!

💌  @inkcanaries henlo gi bb!!!!!! yet another og mutual!!!! Listen ur so fuckin funny i stg ur txt posts are hilarious catch me scrolling through your blog at 2am pissing myself at ur hilarious self.....although im sick 2 death of seeing that ugly ass pic let me not lie lmao........ur so sweet bb and im still not over ur gorgeous curly hair!!!!! have a super christmas and new year bb!!!!

💌  @joohoens hannah ufewqpfioqe youve changed ur url so much lately i was soo confused!! well only true 90s kids will remember yoongjis.....you were one of the first ever ppl i spoke to on here and youre sooooooo cute, youre always leaving cute happy messages in my askbox and pls know i appreciate it so much!!! youre such a ball of sunshine and i hope youre doing well bc we havent spoken in a while! ly bb!!!

💌  @jinsasleep hello jess!!!! u were one of the first ppl i EVER followed here @ tumblr dot com lol i had a different url when i first made this blog tho but i remember i sent u an ask saying i was a new blog and if u could rec some blogs and u sent me soooo many, many of which are now some of my fav mutuals!!! i totally admire u from afar i think youre an amazing person and that youre so lovely and sweet!! all the best for 2018 bb!!! ALSO!!!!! susan is so cute Bye

💌  @cyphriv clodagh!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LISTEN ur an ACTUAL ray of sunshine u make me smile SOOOOO MUCH!!!!!!! the official irish mutual™ i literally find u so hilarious and ur so nice 2 me and wow also so beautiful i truly dont deserve u.....i lov my fellow little mix STAN (cant believe i still havent seen them live lol we will hav 2 go together!!!!!!!!!) thanks for making my day better whenever u come online!!!! luv u!!!!!

💌 @je0n hi anna!!!! we havent rlly spoke before but youre one of the first blogs i followed and i just wanted to include you in this bc not only is ur blog and content amazing, i think youre a truly wonderful person with a HUge heart!! i always see you giving advice to anons and your replies are always so long and detailed and :((( you just seem so sweet, kind and caring and i honestly hope you have an amazing holiday season and wonderful 2018!!! U deserve it!!

💌 @megjinglebells meg!!!!! well firstly let me just say youre an actual supermodel, youre so gorgeous its insane!!!!!!! on top of that you are also such a warm, kind and lovely person who truly deserves the world!!!! your blog is so cute i love it soo much and your love for jin is so adorable!!!!! all the best for 2018 bb!!!! u deserve to have an amazing year!

💌 @gothsyub hi bb!!!!! your blog is soooo cute!!!! we havent rlly spoken before but i get such lovely, friendly vibes from you and of course i love ur yoongi content seeing as tho i had swerved into his lane as of late......all the best for 2018 bb!!!!

💌 @honeyyjeon hello angel!!!!!!!! firstly let me say you are SOOOOO lovely, your blog is full of such cute content and ahhhhhh i love it so so much!! your posts really genuinely lighten up my day and u seem like such a friendly and approachable person!!!! have an amazing 2018 honey!!!

💌 @jeonsberry asya!!!! not only are u stunningly beautiful but youre also super cute and kind and wonderful!!!!!! your love for jungkook is so sweet and Wow i can relate bc that boy.....he is rly something........anyway back to u......ur so so so lovely and definitely deserve to have a brilliant 2018!!!! 

💌 @cloudjeon hello debbs!!!!!!! Listen ur so funny!!!! ur blog is truly hilarious and i know that when youre online my day is going 2 get better 1000% guaranteed!!! youre such a cute sweet angel and we aint talked that much lately but pls know that i lov u and i rly rly hope you have an amazing 2018 but i also hope that u sort ur sleeping schedule out!!!!! binch1!!!!!!!! u always awake how u do that!!!! ly my nocturnal bb!!!!!

💌 @cryjeon sara!!!!! my time zone twin!!!!! youre such a little angel i stg, you make me smile sooo much!!!! you’re honestly just such a nice, kind person and i hav so much love in my heart just for u!!!!! if anyone deserves to have a wonderful 2018 its u bby!!!!! 

💌 @dn-a hiya lee!!!! ur super cool and u literally make me laugh at least once a day how u do that.......i live for ur tags and txt posts theyre so hilarious!!! we dont rlly talk much but you come across as soooo lovely and kind!! all the best for 2018!!!

💌 @christmasjins hey elana!!! the jin mutual™ i love ur blog so much its nice to hav a healthy daily dose of mistre jin let me not lie!!! anyway ur such a wonderful person, youre so friendly and lovely and i just wanna give u a big hug!!!! 

💌  @jiminsgothbf VIC listen the rumours are tru im in lov with u........ur soooooo funny honestly wish u would get drunk and mssg me more often bc ur actually hilarious!!! i hoenstly love ur blog so much and im so glad i followed u!!!! cant wait for Jenna and Vic Take Leeds its gna be fkin wild !!!!! ly bb and all the best for 2018 u deserve to hav an amazing year!!!!

💌  @merryblondekth shan giefowugrieof Listen ur funny af but also wish youd let me live sometimes.......Anyway ill let u off bc youre an intellectual as you know that blonde tae is the best tae.....hes comin back in 2018 i can feel it in my bones and also my puthy.....ur always starting discourse which i love however only tru 90s kids will remember dickcourse.....hav an amazing 2018 bb!!!!!!

💌  @taetaez hi gio we dont rlly speak much but u seem rlly nice and i love ur blog so much!!!!! i love all ur posts ahh!!!! also i see u swervin into yoongi’s lane just wanna let u know i fully support that!!!! all the best for the new year bb!!!

💌  @4agstd hi angel!!!! you often tag me in yoongi stuff and let me just say real quick i truly appreciate that so much as he is the actual love of my life.....anyway ur blog is super duper cute and u seem like a rly lovely person who deserves a whole lotta love!!!!!

💌 @mistlemochi hannah im screaming i love ur blog SO MUCH ur so fuckin hilarious ur txt posts and tags literally hav me DYIN.....ur love for jimin is sooo pure and cute!!!! also ur so fuckigngng pretty like how can a person b that gorgeous Binch bye.......all the best for 2018!!!! ly!!!

💌  @beaniebangtan hi anita!!!! your blog is so nice and i think youre a lovely person!!! your art is also honestly so amazing?!?! like binch how u draw like that!?!??! i rly truly hope u have an amazing brilliant wonderful 2018!!! u deserve it1!!!

💌  @bbyboyjiminies megan!! we dont rlly talk much but i get such positive friendly vibes from you and your blog honestly brightens my day so so much!!! i wish you all the best for 2018, you totally deserve to have an amazing year bc of what a lovely person you are!!! 

💌  @strongjeon cami!!!!! youre such a wonderful person and i rly truly mean it when i say i love ur blog!!! i think youre such a sweet person and also ur so so beautifull Binch how u do that ?????? all the best for 2018!!! sending u lots of positive vibes for the new year! 

💌  @gingerbreadchan cherry1!!!!!! i rly love your blog SO much even if you talk about piss kink and feet 98% of the time !!!!!!!! pls youre so cute and lovely and just an all round wonderful person!!! you truly are a ball of sunshine i hope u know that!!!!! ur so loved bb!!!! i rly rly rly RLY hope u hav an amazing 2018!!! and pls know im always here for u angel no matter what !!

💌  @blueyoongles well miss cg one thing for sure is that i LOV U!!!! ur so so so funny and literally support me so much lmao??? if i reblog an ask meme i know ur gunna be there validate my ass and ur always replying to my posts with funny comments and wow i just lov u i hope we speak more in 2018!!!! ur so kind and sweet and thoughtful and im still waiting for ice cream date pt. 2!!!! usually cancers and leos wouldnt mix but we rlly out here proving the stars wrong huh?!!??!

💌  @honeydewjimin dax!!!!! Listen im lov u.....sooooo much......ur such a cutie and ur just so lovely and cute!!!!! even if u do send me weird shit sometimes origuhwefijwqego also an astrology Genius???? cnt believe you invented astrology wo w amazing......i hope ur 2018 is as wonderful as u are and i hope we speak more in the new year bb!!!! ly!!!!!!

💌  @ofsugas ahhh ur so so so cute and i LOVE ur blog!!!! axis ur so sweet i love how much yoongi content u provide on my dash!!!!!!! but also a jimin enthusiast? wow you and i are truly kin.....i hope u have a wonderful 2018 angel, u deffo deserve it! keep on bein the lil ray of sunshine that u are!!!

💌  @foryoubybts heather!!!!!! Listen ur blog is so positive i love it soooooo much!!! i must see you post at least once a day about how much you love and adore bts and im just like Binch......SAME!!!!!!!! ur so so cute and lovely and seem like such a kind warm hearted wow pls be my bff!!!! ALSO ur gorgeous and id do anythin for ur lovely red hair :((( all the best bb!!!!

💌  @poutyjimin hi luisa!!!!!! Ur sooooo fucking funny i swear i die at ur txt posts ur a true comic genius!!!! thanks for making my dash a better place with ur funny posts!!!! i hope your 2018 is as wonderful as you are!!

💌  @snowglhobi re listen ur an actual ray of ACTUAL sunshine!!!!! ur blog is amazing and so cute and wow i just love it so much :((((( noah fence but im in luv with u!!!!! also boyinlub is such a god tier url doeifqwod miss her so much cant wait 2 see her again in 2018!!!! wishing u all the best angel!!!!

💌  @jeonbye salla we dont talk much but ur sooo funny!!!! literally u make me laugh so much and ur blog is so cute and i get so many positive vibes from u!!!!! So guess what!!!!! im sending all those positive vibes right back at u!!!! have a great 2018 bb i hope the year treats u well bc u deserve it!!!

💌  @mewwychwistmas nestle, wow, i lov u!!!!!! ur my favourite brand of chocolate!!!! also ur love for shrek is so pure and wholesome, it’s so beautiful to see how much you adore him!!! efuqiwoef lol for real tho ur so funny and hilarious and the sun is literally jealous of u bc she could never be as bright and wonderful as u are!!!!!!!!! ALL THE BEST FOR 2k18 BB!!!!!!!!! (im a master bby....wish ur toes)

💌  @jikooksgf hey zara!!!!!! listen!!!! ima only say this once!!!!! i love u and ur blog a lot!! i literally live for u aesthetic posts like binch so fuckin pretty!!!!! ur so sweet and seem sooooo lovely i hope youre doing well bb!!! also rly hope that 2018 treats u well and that u have a brilliant year ahead of u bc u deserve it!!!

💌  @kkultae hello!!!! firstly lemme just say ur super talented!!! ur art is amazing suwiojdw like its literally so good binch how u draw like that i cant even hold a pen.....ALSO ur so pretty wow pls be my gf :( i rmr u called me ur tumblr crush once and WOW my heart burst when u said that let me not lie.....anyway hope ur 2018 is as wonderful and amazing as u are!!!!! LY!!!!

💌  @sleepiemoon hi bb!!! we dont talk all that much but i genuinely get such lovely, positive vibes from you!! you seem like a wonderful person, and just wanna say i love ur blog and ur posts, they make me smile sooo much!!! all the best for 2018 angel <3 

💌  @winngs elena !!!! every time i see ur name i think of the vampire diaries lmao guwefiqwdo ANYWAY this binch (me) loves u and ur blog a LOT and she also thinks u deserve all the warmth love and happiness the world has to offer in 2018 bc guess what!!!!!! ur an actual lil ray of sunshine and u deserve it!!!! all the best!!!! 

💌  @firemv sarah wow OKKK name a more positive, lovely, amazin, caring, funny tumblr user than firemv i’ll wait.............ur honestly such a babe and i love u a lot!!!!!!! also ur a taurus so bonus points for that!!!! seriously tho i adore u, u literally invented languages like???? multilingual queen over here??? u honestly brighten my dash and u truly deserve to have a wonderful 2018!!!! all the best bb!!!

💌  @sailorjoon fy!!!!!! youre such a warm, lovable, friendly, amazing person but rly am i surprised?? i mean ur a cancer and all cancers are amazing lol!!!!!! honestly tho i think youre such an amazing person, your blog is soo wonderful and cute and wow me??? so in lov with u???? its more likely than u think!!!! jenfy 2k18!!!! ly bb!!!!

💌  @clownjimin stefi we dont talk tbh but fhbwdjq LISTEN ur so fuckin funny and ur blog is not only hilarious but also super cute !!!!!! have a wonderful 2018 im sending u lots of positive vibes bb!!!!!

💌  @starprincejimin  anna! we dont talk that much but you seem like such a lovely, kind, cute person and wow i just admire u so much from afar.....my new years resolution is to get to know u better bc ur literally just so amazing!!!!! all the best for 2018 angel!!!!

💌  @jeonpalette hi bb!!! ur blog is definitely one of the cutest blogs i follow!!!!!! we dont talk all that much but u seem so genuine and lovely and i rly wish u all the best for the upcoming year, u deserve to have an amazin 2018!!!!

💌  @clairelions chiara!!! you are honestly one of the most lovely, genuine, kind, talented and friendly people i have met on here!!! im so glad we got talking bc you are soooo cute!!! i love all ur edits too, they’re so incredibly beautiful just like you!!! all the best for 2018 bb, you honestly deserve to have such an amazing year!!

💌  @suransgf hey nura!!!! ur suuuuuuper cute and sweet!!! also ur mobile themes are also aesthetic af im always like Yes ma lov it when u bless my mobile app with that minimalistic look!!!!! ur rlly lovely and i hope ur 2018 is as wonderful as u are!!!!!

💌 @jeonggok hiiii bb!!!!! Listen ur so cute and i rly love ur blog a lot!!!! one of my new years resolutions is 2 get to know u better because u seem like a lovely person and ye lets be best friends!!!! all the best for the new year angel!!!!

💌  @byungjoo / @acustd laura listen i would be NOTHING without u......ur always out here responding to my incessant ask memes and let me just say i appreciate u binch!!!!!! ur sooo lovely, cute, funny not 2 mention drop dead gorgeous!!!! i rly hope ur 2018 is amazing bc u honestly deserve it so much!!! ly!!!!

💌  @daisyguk kiara!!! firstly ur name is so pretty!!! secondly!!!! we dont talk a lot but id love 2 get to know u better bc u seem rlly rlly sweet!!!! also so many anons have a crush on you like???? ur so loved wow????? hope ur 2018 is amazing bb u rly deserve it!!! sending u lots of love and warmth and positive vibes!!!

💌  @jiminnight hi jo!!!! (is it ok to call u thathwdjieufqw) listen up!!!!! U !!!!! ARE !!!! SO !!!!!! CUTE !!!!! AND !!!!! I !!!!! LOVE !!!! U !!!!! A LOT!!!!! SO !!!! JOT THAT DOWN!!!!! u seem like such a wonderful person and i see u spreading a lot of love and i just wana say i think ur amazing!!!!!!!!! all the best for 2018!!!!

💌  @g0thbug hi hazy!!!!! we aint ever spoke before but listen!!!!!!!!!!! ur blog and u are super cute and wow i love u a lot!!!! hope ur 2018 is brilliant!!!!!

💌  @dimples anna!!!! ur so lovely, i love ur blog a LOT!!!! ur so kind and sweet to everyone and you just seem like someone who spreads a lot of positivity and i lov that about u!!!!! we dont speak all that much but i’d love to get to know u better and thems the facts!!!! hope ur 2018 is as sweet as u are <3 

💌  @gfmp3 hii!!!!!!!!!! we aint ever rly spoken before but wow i lov u so much already!!!!! ur blog is so aesthetic and cute and yeh!!!!! i love it a hell of a lot!!!! ur a little ball of sunshine, thanks for brightening up my dash everyday!! all the best for the new year!!

💌  @vanillalattaes hi angel!!!! u seem like such a positive, loving person and i just wana say i lov u and ur blog A LOT!!!!!!! i hope get to know ech other more in the new year if ur up for that!!!! thanks for being a cute lil flower and making my dash a better place!!!! ly!!!

💌  @seokchiminie henlo!!!!! we only recently became mutuals but lemme just say ur such a lovely person with such a kind, warm vibe!!!! listen binch i lov u!!! and i hope ur 2018 is as wonderful as u are i rly mean that!!!! 

💌  @raplinesgf hi gio!!!! we only recently became mutuals but im SOOO glad we did bc i love u and ur blog soooooo much!!!! i truly hope your 2018 is full of love, warmth and happiness bc that’s what u deserve !!!!! also!!!!! UR RED HAIR IS SO GORGEOUS!!!! 

💌  @deletaed hi kris!!!! let me Not lie i’ve been admiring u from afar for a while now!! i think youre a really great person and pls know that i love u and ur blog a whole lot!!! im sending u lots of happy positive vibes for 2018, u deserve to have an amazin year!!

🎀🌹💓💗💖✨💕a few honourable mentions (i love u guys a lot!!!!! i could honesly write a cute lil paragrpah about u all but if im being honest ive ran out of steam at this point lmao !!!!! ur blogs are amazing and honestly brighten up my day!!!! i’d love to get to know u all better in 2018!!!! pls hmu any time !!!!!!! lov u!!!!!)🎀🌹💓💗💖✨💕 

@etudehaus @spicekook @1honeyoongi @jjkboo @ohjiminn @1taesgf @wvaterlily @hqjeons @repackages @taelilies @lovlesbians @9yoong @peachiichiim @acciosugas @parkjimin2 @dwjjk @milklattaes @ilyjimn @yyouth @jurassicjimin @lipsmp3 @taev-gucci @gayminyoongi @taetle @pjmin @lovelytaeh @6apricorn @01nochu @rosyhoseok @mitaesoro @christmasyoong @princessyoongi