#i was so right abt the stupid pants actually

[berryblu-ocs]

Ive decided half of Aki's wardrobe was stolen from Fallon´s old stuff

bc did he get a budget for new clothes assigned? Yes, were there other hand me downs available? Also yes, but he loves dressing like a cyberpunk emo and the only thing he ever bought was that dumb oversized hoodie he wears everywhere :3 (almost plasticky on the outside but insanely soft on the inside btw)

also gave him back his dumb, tight below the knee cargo pants, high collar jacket and chunky velcro shoes, bc lets be real, this is an unsupervised 15 year old with full control of his outfits for the first time in like 8 years

OC talk (The Post™)

[star-girl69]

hi everyone! this is so lazy but pls enjoy 🫶🫶

warnings: swearing and also slight freaky stuff 😣

you: good morning my sweet girlfriend

kk: wtf

kk: why r u not in my bed??

you: babe… i told u i had to leave early this morning bc i had an appt

kk: for what?

you: getting my nails done

kk: u abandoned me to get ur nails done?

you: yes…?

you: i don’t think i appreciate this attitude maybe i’ll just go back to my dorm

kk: please come back to my place.

you: say pretty please with sprinkles on top

kk: y/n

you: ok see u tmrw then

kk: pretty please with sprinkles on top.

you: ofc i will come back to urs 🥰

kk: 🙄

you: attitude????

kk: no ily

you: aww i love u too!

—-

you: can u plz drive me to my friend’s birthday dinner on friday and pick me up

kk: what times

you: drop me off at 6 pick me up at 9

kk: ok no problem

you: thank u ily

you: i would carpool w my friend serena but i don’t trust her in a car

you: she runs red lights a lot lol

kk: ??? plz don’t ever get into a car with her. i will drive u always

you: aww ur so sweet! not wanting me to die 🥰

kk: anything for my passenger princess

—-

you: CAROLINE ROSE HARVEY

kk: im sorry

kk: i’m so sorry

kk: i’ll make it up to you i promise im so sorry

…

laila: what did you do to kk 😭😭

laila: she’s staring at her phone in horror and when i asked her what was wrong she just said y/n before putting her head in her hands

you: i’m letting her sit in fear for a minute

laila: i admire you a lot ❤️

…

you: so i wake up this morning

kk: yes and u looked so pretty when i left

you: thank u

you: anyways and i then go about my day and i’m ready to run out and do my errands i look at myself in the mirror

kk: and u saw how beautiful u r?

you: yes and also i saw a GAINT FUCKING HICKEY ON MY NECK

you: SEVERAL OF THEM ACTUALLY

kk: do u really want me to say sorry for that

you: yes??? i need so much makeup to cover this up. actually i think u should buy new concealer for me

kk: as long as i can do it again

you: no this is so embarrassing

kk: it’s ok you’ll be saying different later

kk: besides u were encouraging me last night

you: ur delusional i’ve never done that

kk: if u say so babe but we both know

you: *link to new concealer*

kk: just bought 2 prepare to use them up

you: no

kk: yessss

you: no

kk: 😉

you: die

kk: ❤️

—-

you: i’m really craving chick fil a

kk: ok

you: i’m REALLY craving chick fil a

kk: u mentioned that

you: bye u don’t care abt me

you: gonna go text my other hoes

kk: u don’t have other hoes

you: im about to

kk: we’ll see

you: PLEASE GET ME CHICK FIL A

you: PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE

kk: thought u were texting other hoes?

you: i lied ur my only hoe and ilysm

you: plz get me chick fil a

you: i’ll do a cartwheel on it

kk: ???

kk: babe i’ll get u chick fil a

kk: thanks tho? i think

you: YAYYYY

—-

kk: i know ur asleep right now and i know u r very tired and i’m sorry but i forgot my helmet can u pls bring it to me at the rink

you: how did u forget ur helmet

you: like it weighs 10 pounds and it’s huge

kk: mean

kk: and idk i’m stupid plz bring it

you: ugh fine i’m On my way!

you: omw.

you: im not excited

kk: i love u so much u r the light of my life i cannot imagine waking up without ur beautiful face next to me u are brighter than the sun and i love u

you: thank u shakespeare ur so romantic

you: can we go shopping tmrw and u pay i need new pants

kk: u don’t need pants

you: it’s 9am

kk: yes we can go shopping tmrw

you: love u!

kk: ❤️

—-

you: hi

you: are u doing anything tn?? i feel like we haven’t seen each other in forever

kk: i know baby i miss u

kk: i have practice until 8 but u can come over still after? sleepover?

you: yes definitely i’ll be there

kk: i cant wait to see u pretty girl

—-

you: omg this restaurant looks so good we should go

kk: sunday at 6?

you: um yes i’m free

kk: just made a reservation

you: damn 😭 i’m impressed

kk: whatever my girl wants she gets 🤷‍♀️

—-

you: hi baby

…

you: so what position u got her in rn?

you: missionary? cowgirl?

kk: why do i love u

you: blocked

kk: i have no girls in no positions except for u

you: why are u so busy then?

kk: picked up this new hobby called hockey idk if it will go anywhere

kk: been at the gym for an hour about to go hit the rink

you: send workout pics 😜

—-

kk: hiiiiiiiiii

you: hi babe

kk: tone down that attitude plz

you: ?

kk: actually

kk: turn around show me that ass

you: are u drunk rn

kk: maybe

kk: you have an amazing ass do i tell u that enough

kk: i should tell u more

kk: i love ur ass

you: thank u…

you: do u need to be picked up?

kk: no laila is dd

kk: wanted to talk to my pretty girl

you: u sure know how to make a girl blush

kk: only u babe

kk: i like ur boobs too

you: oh my god pls hand the phone to laila

kk: this is laila don’t worry we’re going home rn

you: laila ur a goddess thank u

kk: i try ❤️❤️

—-

[agustdiv1ne]

dom!tutor!yn x sub!stoner!cocky!beomgyu who doesn't even care abt college, only wants to get in yns pants

ada. you just kinda got a lil fic out of me with this one so i made it pretty n aesthetic (might have to make this an actual fic, like. a Long one bc this concept is doing smth to me....) honestly, this turned into more of a switch!beomgyu x femdom!reader thing so i apologize for that,, HOWEVER, he is submissive for most of this <3

wc: 1.8k

(MDNI!!!!!!! and please stop asking for a part 2)

beomgyu couldn’t give less of a shit about college. his parents are rich — they could buy his degree if he asked them to — so what the fuck is he doing? why is he not in his dorm right now getting high off his ass? why is he here, sitting in this musty study room in the library? for him, that’s easy to answer: it’s all because of you, the pretty thing that he’s roped into being his physics tutor.

you’re currently trying to explain a law made by some dude named ohm and all he can really think about is how nice your lips would look around his cock, how your pretty fingers that are playing with your pencil would press so perfectly into his thighs as he thrusts into your mouth, tears welling in your eyes as he uses you to his heart’s content. you’re a cute little thing, aren’t you? a bit quiet in class, kinda submissive as far as he can tell — and all he wants to do is bend you over this desk and fuck you ‘til you’re crying for him to stop.

with half-hazy eyes from the joint he snuck a couple huffs from before this study session started and a stupid smirk, he places a hand on your thigh and watches you pause, brows furrowing as he trails it up a bit higher and squeezes the soft flesh under the hem of your shorts. your nose scrunches up as you move your attention from your notebook to him. with a scalding glare, you hiss, “the fuck do you think you’re doing?”

woah. did that just come out of your mouth? for some reason, the words only make his shit-eating grin grow wider, and he squeezes your thigh again. “nothin’. something wrong, sweetheart?”

you stare at him for a moment, gaze cold and calculating, nothing like the wide-eyed look you wear on a normal basis. all he can think about is how fucked he is as soon as he feels you wrench his hand from your thigh and slam it onto the table. he yelps at the pain that radiates through his fingers, rubbing them as he looks at you like a wounded puppy. your lips purse. “i know your stupid game, beomgyu. either let me tutor you, or get the fuck out.”

“jesus,” he sighs, hands shooting up defensively. “fine, whatever. do your worst, i guess.”

beomgyu can’t deny the twitch in his cock at your cruel words. you’re more feisty than he thought; maybe he’d let you take the lead, if you even let him get in your pants in the first place. he was wrong, you seem like the type who’d want control. of course you did. you’ve never fallen at his feet like some of the other girls in your class, the ones who know he’s rich and good in bed and friends with the best plugs on this godforsaken campus. you’ve never wanted anything to do with him; your sore lack of interest just made him want you more, so to let you shut down his attempts to fuck you right here, right now? nah, not fucking happening.

so after a bit of actual studying to appease you, his hand sneaks onto your thigh once again—

oh, he’s hit the jackpot.

you’re standing up now, hand gripping his chin so hard that it hurts. the tick in your jaw is enough to indicate that he’s really pissed you off, a fire surging behind your irises as you glower down at him. he’s leaned back into his seat because you’ve leaned in so close, caging him in — and fuck, does he like it. he’s never had someone be so mean to him. they’ve always let him take the lead, let him use them, but you? you have different plans, it seems.

“what did i say?” your tone is sharp, dangerous. the air around him suffocates his lungs, yet he smiles. he likes this game.

“to let you tutor me, and i was, so what’s your problem?” he shrugs as if you don’t look like you’re about to incinerate him with your gaze right now. your head tilts as soon as you glance down at the hard-on in his lap, that unimpressed, calculating glint returning to your eyes. suddenly, you let him go, shoving him backwards into his seat as you resume your own. you look down at his lap again.

“y’know what? fine. i’ll make you a deal: i’m gonna jerk you off as you do this problem set. if you complete it, i’ll let you cum.”

oh. oh wow. did he hear that properly? you’re gonna jerk him off? he feels a little dizzy because honestly, this is just the first step to getting you to give in to him, to lose control and ride him until he’s a drooling mess for you, ‘cause god, you’d love to him like that, wouldn’t you? he can tell that you would. so—

he gives you another one of his trademark cocky smirks, and says, “yeah, sure. i’ll get it done in no time.”

and beomgyu tries. he tries so hard to focus, but he does not, in the end, get it done in no time. it’s been thirty minutes, and all he’s gotten done is two out of the ten problems that you’ve been assigned to complete by tomorrow. how can he with your hand stroking up and down his cock so slow that he wants to cry? whenever he stops working to try and thrust into your hand, gain any semblance of pleasure, you remove it. he can’t fucking win.

“do the problem,” you command, leaning against the desk with the most bored expression ever painted on your face, as if you’re not jerking him off beneath the desk right now. as if you don’t even want to be here. “you have an hour to finish these, y’know. i can’t stay here all night with your dumbass. i have better shit to do.”

his hips twitch up. fuck. fuck. he needs you to degrade him more. you sound so pretty doing it.

“c’mon,” he whines. “can’t you just let me cum? i’m never gonna get this shit in an hour.”

“sounds like a you problem.” and you go back to stroking him, thumb teasing the flushed red tip and spreading his precum all over, further lubricating your hand to make your movements smoother. he gets back to work, trying his best to ignore how fucking good it feels to be edged like this. to get so close, only for it to be torn away from him. by problem seven, he’s sniffling and whimpering for you to let him cum, “please let me cum. please? wanna fuck you so bad. wanna feel you pussy around me, fuck.”

all you do is give him a mean-spirited laugh. “you really think i’m gonna give in and let you fuck me? y’probably thought i was some submissive little bitch at first, didn’t you? well, you thought wrong — so either solve these fucking problems, or else i’m not letting you cum. and you’re sure as hell not getting to fuck me. you’re more stupid than i thought. how pathetic.”

he could cum right now, but he thinks you might kill him if he did. so he struggles through problem eight. and nine. and ten — and finally, finally he’s finished. finally, you start to pump him as fast you can, whispering mean little names in his ear, calling him a stupid little bitch for thinking you’d be that easy, a fucking idiot for even trying. twisting your wrist, you lean over with your other hand to squeeze his balls, manicured nails biting into the sensitive flesh and—

he spills all over your hand with a pathetic whine, his whimpers loud enough for you to slap a hand over his mouth and whispering to keep fucking quiet, or do you want to be caught? he doesn’t care though, it feels too good to let go after being tortured for so long, his cum spurting all over his shirt and jeans and all over your hand.

when he’s finally done, he feels you wipe your hand on his shirt, mumbling how disgusting he is as you grab some hand sanitizer, apply it, and start to pack up. wait, you’re leaving now? he doesn’t get to fuck you?

“where are you going?” he questions, watching as you slip your calculator into your bag, not even sparing a glance at his ruined state.

“home,” you bluntly reply. “like i said, there’s no way in hell i’m letting you fuck me. and i’m not tutoring you anymore. find someone else.”

okay, that’s enough to get him panicked. “what? but you’re the only one who agreed to do it!”

“you think i care? go to the professor, then.”

“wait,” he says. grabbing the sleeve of your jacket before you can walk out. you turn, judgment apparent in the way you scan over his cum-covered clothes. despite that, he pushes on, “aren’t you at least a little turned on? why don’t you let me help you?”

“as if,” you scoff, even though yes, you’re really fucking turned on and wanna ride him until he’s an overstimulated mess right now. you’ve never had a boy bow to you as easily as him, and you enjoyed it more than you’d like to admit, but at the same time, this is beomgyu you’re talking about. he’s terrible news, and wouldn’t be a good influence on your academics. you try to pull away and head towards the door. “i’m out of here.”

“liar,” he accuses, pulling you backwards. “you have to be a least a little turned on. c’mon, i know you want to fuck me, wanna see me all stupid for you. you seem like the type to like that.”

he’s stupid and cocky and infuriating, but he’s also right. you want to tie him up and use him for hours. you want to watch his pretty rich boy face twist up and turn red as he starts to sob and whine for you to stop. you want to see him brainless and pliant and willing to do anything you ask. staring at him, your mind feeds you scenarios of his fucked-out face, sweat rolling down his temple and mixing with his tears. with a deep breath, you wrench your wrist from his grip and fully turn towards him.

you’ve made your decision.

“fine,” you say. “i’ll make you another deal: get a 90 on the exam next week, and maybe i’ll let you.”

there’s no way he can do that, can he? it sounds impossible in his mind given his track record of 20s and a 15 percent on the last exam — but he finds himself nodding anyway. he has to do this, he's desperate enough.

“you have a deal.”

© to agustdiv1ne. do not copy, repost, steal, and/or translate.

[possibilistfanfiction]

CaitVi prompt: hugs

[ok s/o the one person who wanted a climbing au lmao. this rly isn't abt climbing, it's just a silly meet cute thru jinx's pov. i love sisters ur honor! also idk jinx is a cooler name than powder so that's what we're going with lol. incredibly minimal angst :)]

//

keep your helmet on this; finish dressing your knot that; vi triple checks the number of quick draws you have on your harness — ‘i have twelve, and there’s only nine bolts, vi,’ you say again— while you roll your eyes so hard your whole head moves. she sighs, as marginally satisfied as she ever manages to be when you’re leading anything. 

‘okay,’ she says, checking her grigri carabiner for, like, the fifth time. 

‘okay.’ you roll your eyes once more for good measure before you establish on a truly disgusting set of crimps. ‘climbing.’

vi gives a very serious, ‘climb on,’ and since she can’t see you anymore, you let yourself smile. even though she’s annoying and hates when you take victory whips — your favorite — you do love her: she takes your life seriously. 

the route is gross, overhung with tricky feet and big moves, but vi had lead it just before you and made it look pretty easy, even though it’s her style and definitely not yours. still, you’re not going to back down from a challenge, even though admittedly she’s way stronger than you: you’re light and unafraid of falling, which sometimes evens the playing field. 

you yell out anchor and then take just like you’re supposed to once you finish the route, refusing to shake out your arms even though you’re pumped as hell, and vi lowers you smoothly. you expect her to have her utmost, full attention on you, but when you turn to talk about your beta as you undo your knot, you see vi very quickly get off belay and then take her fleece quarterzip — a black patagonia which had been your best thrift find of the past year, in your opinion — off in an almost frantic, decidedly uncool way. it’s even more ridiculous because it’s freezing and all vi has on under her jacket is her favorite ‘queer crush’ tank from your gym. she smiles in your direction — a small, proud one — but then her grin turns shy and she looks at someone else. 

the someone else in question, a few feet away, gearing up, is, admittedly, hot — you gotta give vi that.

she has dark hair that manages to look chic even under her helmet, pants actually designed for climbing, and an arcteryx down jacket — the right weight for the fucking weather, at least — and even her chalk bag and shoes look kind fancy; you notice a pair of very neat camp slippers sitting next to approach shoes you could only dream of, the socks in them in a neat little ball. 

‘caitlyn,’ she says to you, offers her hand in a firm shake — not a customary fist bump — before she ties in anywhere or chalks up. you’re kind of confused why she’s walking toward the start, but you introduce yourself anyway as you pull the rope.

‘cait is going to clean the route,’ vi explains as caitlyn ties in, another smile exchanged. ‘her climbing partner is peeing, so i offered to belay if she wanted to lead it.’

it’s a pretty gnarly 12a, and also vi never lets you clean anchors, mostly because you don’t think all the steps with a PAS are necessary and you take victory whips without announcing them first, but whatever. it’s boring anyway.

caitlyn and vi go through the most intense safety check, joyously, almost, vi practically giggling when she looks at caitlyn’s figure 8, her hand hovering over caitlyn’s waist when she checks the loops on her harness, and you sit with a huff on a small rock near enough the route you can watch. 

you do everyone the profound kindness of staying quiet until caitlyn clips into the first quickdraw and vi very officially says, ‘you are on belay, cupcake,’ but then you’ve had enough. 

‘cupcake?’

‘she’s sweet,’ vi says, concentrating more on belaying than she ever has in her life with you. you’re not stupid, so you can tell she’s really just trying to avoid you seeing her blush. 

‘sure, sis.’ you watch as caitlyn does a pretty sick high foot to hand match and mantles calmly; vi shouts some encouragement. ‘did you get hot belaying me?’

‘what?’

‘very smooth, showing cait your best asset right away. thanks for waiting until i was done, at least.’

vi scoffs. not convincing at all. ‘the wind has gone down.’

‘we’re in a slot canyon.’

caitlyn sails past the crux, incredibly technical and very calm. it’s unfortunately impressive. 

‘nice, cait!’ vi shouts. ‘that was sick!’

caitlyn, to your dismay, pauses after she clips into the next quickdraw — your least favorite hold on the whole route, a terribly chalked up sloper — and turns to give vi a thumbs up. 

you groan, long and drawn out, and flop onto your back while vi laughs. you’re no stranger to girls falling all over themselves to impress your sister, but this is one of the few times where one of them has actually been impressive. 

when you sit up, a guy who was watching caitlyn climb looks at you and laughs, immediately somehow in on it all, you can tell. 

‘i was gone for, like, ten minutes,’ he says. ‘cait already found a new partner?’

‘in more ways than one,’ you bemoan. you offer a fist bump, correct and cool climbing etiquette, not some stupid handshake. ‘that’s vi, my sister. and i’m jinx.’

‘jayce,’ he says, then looks up. ‘is cait cleaning the anchor?’

‘guess so.’

‘i wanted to climb that route.’ he’s definitely pouting, which you never do because it’s extremely undignified, obviously. 

‘you snooze, you lose, i guess.’ you shrug. ‘plus, i think they’re both just trying to impress each other. horrible. worst thing to happen today.’

‘i took a whip on slab,’ he says, shows you a scrape on his palm. ‘so maybe second worse.’

‘nah,’ you wave him off. ‘big whips are the best, most fun part of climbing.’

he looks at you like you’re crazy, which, like, you certifiably are, but even your therapist thinks that climbing with vi — and therefore with a lot of gear and safety checks — is good for getting your “intrusive impulses” out without too much danger. could be worse, you always tell her, because it has been. 

you don’t let yourself dwell on that, though, not out here on a cold, beautiful day, your hands stinging a little in the best way, the sun sinking just slightly. vi might be annoying and so, so gay, but she’s your favorite person in the world, hands down. for now, it’s okay. 

caitlyn calls for slack and then quickly and neatly cleans the anchor, and vi lowers her carefully while she takes the quickdraws out. they’re, like, basically about to kiss, you’re pretty sure, when caitlyn gets to the bottom, before she even unties her knot. 

‘that was amazing,’ vi says, full of genuine awe, as if the both of you didn’t also just lead that route. when caitlyn brushes her hand against vi’s — in thanks, you guess — vi blushes hard enough even you can see it. you’re relieved for her, honestly, when caitlyn’s cheeks are the same shade of pink.

and so the day goes like this: caitlyn sails up a run-out slab route vi had sworn off every other time you’d come to the crag, mostly because she’s so strong she hates slab and it’s truly heinous — the best route here, in your opinion — full of mono pockets and the tiniest foot jibs. it’s kind of embarrassing to watch vi tremble her way up, especially after she lets you lead it after caitlyn, but you actually do belay her carefully and caitlyn and jayce both shout encouragement. vi sends it, even though she’s a total baby and asks you to take twice. jayce — also really strong; also terrified of slab, which makes you laugh — and vi convince caitlyn to end on another overhang, exhausting and pumpy, and you only agree to do it too because you know vi won’t care as much if you fall on it. you send it first, take a giant whip off the top that you know vi will be annoyed at you for, but when she lowers you the rest of the way, she just smiles and taps the top of your helmet.

‘you’re getting so strong, jinx,’ she says, the easy, heartfelt compliment making you feel all warm inside. vander and ekko insist that you’re kind like vi, that you share the same big heart, and sometimes you think they might be right.

‘great job,’ caitlyn agrees, happily and without anything underlying, and jayce echoes the sentiment too. all day they’d both asked you thoughtful and caring questions about your studies, jayce especially excited when you told him you were going to school for mechanical engineering, and about your friends, your hobbies, books and music you’ve enjoyed lately.

kindness is too much for you, sometimes, especially when it’s easily given and true, so you duck off and set about pulling and coiling the rope; gathering the rest of the gear split into your packs — vi’s, of course, much heavier whenever you’re in charge.

still, she stops her flirting — caitlyn is talking about how she’s a doctor, or something, and vi wipes her sweaty face with the bottom of her tank before finally putting her jacket back on, then telling one of her bravest firefighter stories — to say, ‘thanks for doing all of this, sis,’ sincerely before shouldering her pack.

‘don’t mention it,’ you grumble, trudging out of the canyon back up toward your cars. the approach is short but steep, so thankfully they’re mostly quiet. but as you load everything up — yours into vi’s old bronco that you’d both fixed up with vander; caitlyn’s into a brand new forester with every “wilderness” add-on you could possibly think of — they exchange numbers with the promise to climb again soon, both indoors and at another of your favorite crags too. you’re sure caitlyn climbs at one of the fancy gyms in town, one that you can only afford a membership to because vi is a first responder and you’re a student, and even then just barely. 

horrifically, maybe the worst part of the day, is that caitlyn looks unsure for a moment but then opens her arms, and vi enthusiastically, and softly, hugs her for an amount of time that's way too intimate for having just met a friend at the crag. you’re a nice person after all, it turns out, because you don’t make a single gagging noise. you do catch jayce’s eye, though, and he lifts a brow, fighting a laugh. you duck your head, but it makes you smile too. 

they longingly wave goodbye one last time, and then vi glares at you when you start to laugh as she pulls out of the spot and onto the dirt road out of the canyon, flooring it a little more than necessary. 

‘hey,’ you say, ‘why are you all —' you motion to her, the furrow in her brow and the downturned corners of your mouth.

she slows down, taking the next turn and rut in the road carefully, like usual. ‘i just — i don’t even know if she’s queer, first of all.’

‘other than, like, her expertise at pockets —‘

‘— jinx—‘

‘— and the fact that she was all over you for, like, three hours, she had a trans flag on her helmet,’ you offer, taking a little pity on vi. ‘and she drives a subaru.’

vi sighs. ‘she’s — i mean, you can tell. wealthy and smart and gorgeous. i’m, well —‘

‘hot and kind and also smart?’

for someone who’s always bugging you about accepting compliments, she’s terrible at it. you know she holds a lot, feels inadequate in so many ways, because she couldn't save your parents, and because she was incarcerated, and because you grew up poor, and because she can't fix everything for you all the time.

‘look, i don’t think anyone will ever be good enough for you,' you tell her honestly; it's important. 'especially some idiot who wears arcteryx.’

vi laughs; you don’t mention that it’s a little watery with tears.

‘you save people for a living. your muscles are insane. you help me with school, and refilling my meds, and you always pay rent on time, and we can even eat out now, whenever we want. you’ve read, like, seventy books this year. you like podcasts about nature, which i only know because you make me listen to them with you while we drive anywhere.’

it’s quiet — no podcast, not just now — for a minute or two, but then vi nods.

‘i guess you’re right.’

‘i’m always right. i’ve literally never been wrong.’

‘shut the fuck up.’

you laugh, delighted, and put your socked feet on the dash just so vi can swat them off. 

‘so, anyway, do you wanna tell me more about how caitlyn being perfect at pockets made you feel, or…’

‘i will throw you out of this car.’

‘you’d never.’

‘i might.’

you laugh; when she pulls onto the paved road you take her hand in yours, lace your fingers together, put on a song you love that she hates. she rolls her eyes but sings along anyway.

[chasedeys]

do you write any rpf, like on Ao3? I’m new so idk if you’ve posted about it or not but IM LITERALLY OBSESSED with your answers to any anon ask. I would read a whole ten page essay from you about joemarr and im not joking. anyways, i love anything you post!!

hiiiiii loveeeee, thank you for liking my thoughts on joemarr!!! kind of self conscious abt it honestly bc im drawing up conclusions abt them technically without any basis but yeah 😭❤️ (also english is very much not my first language so i struggle to word things so saying you'd read a 10 page essay from me is very <33333)

i have written and posted 1 (one) fic and its a ja'marr gets nipple piercings fic lmaooo and opposite to the way it sounds it's not even horny or even tender horny its just like full of love and devotion ahaha no but really don't expect much please

some extra under the cut wkwkwk

SORRY BUT im taking advantage of this ask to add a whole unfinished 2k- jumble of another fic i was working on but probably won't finish bc the lack of full understanding of how contract and free agency works and like refusal to actually research shit bc i get stupid sad thinking about it so:

Joe stares down the stretch of the field, Ja’Marr standing by the rest of the receivers laughing as Chuck and Andrei try to playfully (....maybe) murder each other via sumo wrestling moves that are definitely not regulation. He’s just wearing tights today for bottoms–so the delicious tautness of his thighs are free for Joe to gaze hungrily at. Truck, 30 yards in front of him very patiently waiting to catch his warm-up throws, has cleared his throat three times in the past 45 minutes for Joe to tear his eyes away from Ja’Marr Chase and throw the damn ball.

It’s torture. It’s love, devotion.

It’s disgusting levels of Down Bad.

(joe gets introspective throughout practice post ravens lost yada yada they go back home, joe invites jamarr for sudden cheat day meal at like 2 am)

Ja’Marr shows up in his front door bleary eyed and sleep rumpled. He’s decked in thick flannel pajama pants that absolutely do not look cheap, dark grey geaux tigers hoodie with purple LSU letters that clashes with the red of his pants, last season’s bengals beanie that also clashes with the rest of his outfit colors, and gucci slides…that also clash with the rest of the outfit. It’s a mismatched sort of vulnerability that twists up Joe’s insides. Here’s his north star wrapped up in all the things Joe cherishes.

Ja’Marr turns up his nose when he finally finishes yawning right at Joe’s face and notices Joe with his raised eyebrow looking up and down amusedly at his outfit.

“Shut up,” he says. “It’s a 2 am non-party night. Like hell I’m dressing up pretty for you.”

Ja’Marr’s always pretty to Joe, but that’s fine.

“I didn’t say anything.” Joe replies back, moving to the side so Ja’Marr can drag his feet inside the threshold, “I don’t judge you for your fashion taste.”

Joe cleverly dodges the foot being kicked back to his side. Amazing reflexes, of course.

“Where’s this hearty meal you promised me?” Ja’Marr just talks loudly over the dig Joe makes at him.

“On its way. DoorDash says it’s 7 minutes out.”

“Did you get extra cream soup?”

“Yeah, of course.”

(yada yada some banter some cute shit wanted to describe them sitting in joes billion dollar custom renovated kitchen that i would stress out is 'modern and kitschy' with different shades of pink for accents)

He’s been making insane catch-and-runs, Joe reflects. Offers to his agent would be stacking up starting next year, his last year in his contract with Cincinnati.

“It would be easier.” Joe says, throat cramping. “If you want to trade.”

Ja’Marr’s hands stutter and his stupid little butter knife clatters to the table.

“What?”

Joe darts his eyes to the other man, a millisecond glance and he’s gazing back to his ice cream. The receiver’s voice had been harsh, choked up in surprise. Joe feels his insides curdle even worse.

“Just–” he starts, a mess of thoughts jumbled in his head, “if you wanted to. I would understand. Your stats are amazing. If Duke’s still gunning to be an idiot and wait for your contract to dry up before resigning, you can–”

Here he pauses. Saying things makes it real. Saying they’re not a championship level team made him want to gouge his eyes out. Saying how Ja’Marr could leave him would possibly end his life as he knows it.

But Ja’Marr deserves to know Joe won’t hold him back. He refuses to. So:

“If you want, you can sign up for free agency. Next season.”

Well.

Ja’Marr’s face is heartbreaking to see. Joe feels the corner of his mouth drag down, his eyes are fucking burning, his throat is closing up, his hands are clammy, his ears are ringing, his neck is cold but his head is on fire.

“Do you–” Ja’Marr starts, but his voice is cracking, so he has to start over again. He’s scrunching his eyes shut and his mouth is quivering and Joe feels like he’s clumped up dirt under a needlessly expensive boot. 

Twice this season now he’s caused Ja’Marr to look like this. At least this time he’s not pushing him physically, but with the way Ja’Marr’s trembling all over this might just be worse. God, Joe can’t even blame being in Kansas City for this. This time, Ja’Marr isn’t hiding from the thousands of eyes scrutinizing him from the bleachers, from across the field, from the houses of unknown fans through LED screens. The agony is clear in the widening of his eyes and the curl of his mouth and the crack of his voice. 

“Do you not want me?”

Just the barest whisper like Ja’Marr’s vocal cords has up and left. Joe feels insane thinking of the heart-clenching anymore? Ja’Marr doesnt say.

Joe’s mouth falls open but no sound comes out. There isn’t a single universe in the hypothetical collection of potentially diverse multiverses Joe believes in, that a Joe Burrow wouldn’t want Ja’Marr Chase to stay by his side. But would saying this to the other be right? 

He takes too long to answer. Ja’Marr’s face shuts down, going cold.

“Wow, okay, fuck you.”

Joe flinches back at the viciousness of the curse. He has never once in his life been the direct recipient of Ja’Marr’s brand of tiger claws defense, teeth sharp, no mercy. 

“I cannot believe you. I thought we were fine now! We’re on the same page again! I leave that contract bullshit behind, you fixed your anxiety over your wrist, but, what, another fucking shitty pick and you don’t think I got it anymore? Fucking free agency, shut your stupid fucking mouth, Joe Burrow, before I do something I regret.”

Joe’s hands automatically flashes to settle the plates rattling when Ja’Marr abruptly stands up and slams his hands to the table. He’s looking up at him now, still sitting down on the bright pink stool in his billion dollar kitschy kitchen with Ja’Marr Chase looming over him in fury.

“I followed you here! To fucking Ohio. I hated the idea of even stepping foot in this state before I fell in love with this fucking city! I did it because of you! I have said multiple fucking times that I’m not leaving you. I said to the fucking media that you were like a god to me, are you fucking kidding me? I bullshitted my way through all those disgusting interviews trying not to say the wrong thing and still having people say I’m stalking you or some shit because I can’t help word-vomitting over you! I have been this fucking close–” 

Ja’Marr shoots his right hand up right in the space between them, pressing his thumb and pointer finger so close the skin whitens.

“–to saying to fucking Hobs that I’m ass over tits in love with you! And now you’re telling me it’ll be alright if I leave? That it'll be easier? Just because, what, this stingy ass poverty franchise doesn’t know how to handle its players unless they’re you? That we keep losing even when you throw fucking bullets and I run across the entire fucking field from endzone to the endzone for 60 points? Joe Lee Burrow, I swear if I loved you less I would kill you.”

Ja’Marr finishes his rant with another slam on the table like he needs one more outlet for his anger. He’s heaving breaths, tears running down his cheeks (god, no), face all twisted up. Through Joe’s frozen state, he could see Ja’Marr’s face pale rapidly as he fully realizes what he’s said. Mouth always running a full minute over his brain.

God.

Joe stands wobbly quick when Ja’Marr stumbles around the table towards the kitchen doors.

For all that Joe unashamedly lies over how fast he is–(’i am fast, ja’marr. I can outrun you.’ ‘be so for real right now.’)–he can never outpace Ja’Marr. But for this one thing–this one thing–Joe slams against a blurring Ja’Marr and uses the momentum and extra inches and pounds he’s got over the man to cage him against the nearby fridge.

Ja’Marr yelps as his back rattles against the fridge doors, magnets and receipts and photos and post-it notes not trapped between him and the door fall to the floor. One of those brightly colored humanoid magnets slam against Joe’s left toe. A polaroid of Joe and his Mom somehow balances perfectly right on top of Ja’Marr’s head before fluttering away when Ja’Marr shakes his head in furious disbelief. His beanie had fumbled off his head in the initial tackle, lying on the ground right next to Joe’s right foot. 

Joe’s left hand is pinning his man’s right shoulder against the fridge door, hips flushed against him, a leg between his thighs, right arm tucked against the side of Ja’Marr’s waist, face right up against each other like every other overly enthusiastic helmet slam in the field after a ridiculous yard run–but there’s no helmet this time, and there’s no reason for Joe to hide how his eyes slide down the length of Ja’Marr’s face to his lips, letting his gaze linger deliberately long.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?!” Ja’Marr blusters, cheeks going deep red, eyes pinballing widely over Joe’s own features (to his lips even! how exciting.), hands curling on each of Joe’s elbows with his nails biting down through the thick fabric of his sweatshirt over his skin. “What, are you going to hit me? Break my heart? You already did, asswipe, no need to be an annoying overachiever this time! Get off of me, I swear–”

“I don’t want you to go. I never want you to leave. Ever.” Joe cuts him off brutally. Let this be the firmest truth he’s ever said in his life. “I asked you to come here. I always want to play football with you. I always want random midnight DoorDash dinners with you. You keep saying insane shit about me in interviews, have you heard me talk about you? The last KC presser I had to hold back saying I hurt you in front of 50 people sitting down with their laptops open looking at me like I’m a bug to study. I have never been normal about you. You drive me insane, stop staring at me with those cow eyes. Who the fuck lies about dressing their friends up in magazine interviews? And that fucking photoshoot! Were you planning on killing me? Tee sends me your Instagram training pics from back in May like once a week to torture me! I nearly blocked his ass, Ja’Marr, shut up.”

(like. i want the speech to be more?? idk more emotional in the confessional aspect but alas i don't know how to write shit out)

Ja’Marr looks back at him wide-eyed. He hasn’t really said anything throughout Joe’s turn of ranting, but even so Joe needs him to shut up, genuinely. This beautiful, beautiful man doesn’t know Joe loves him. Stupid. Stupid.

“Ja’Marr.” Joe says, low and hoarse. He slides his hands up to cup at his cheeks now that Ja’Marr isn’t pushing his weight back at him. The wetness of his cheeks from his previous tears seeps into Joe’s skin. “I love you.”

“Oh, wow.” Ja’Marr just says back, hoarse and dumb. This man, Joe swears.

Whatever.

Joe kisses him hard and gets dizzy with it. Ja’Marr chokes in surprise, but gets with the program quick enough.

The side of his nose presses against Ja’Marr’s, he’s biting at his bottom lips, his lashes brush against the cold wetness of his cheeks, his hands press hard against the side of Ja’Marr’s neck and he feels like he can count each heartbeat against the tender skin of his wrists pasted to Ja’Marr’s jugular.

“Hi,” he murmurs over his man’s lips, heart feeling so fucking full.

Ja’Marr laughs against his lips incredulously, eyes screwed shut and lips stretched stupid wide. The prettiest thing Joe’s ever seen in his life. Insanely, he feels that if he were to play all 12 games of the season left this morning right after separating himself from Ja’Marr, he’d throw over 300 yards each. Things love could fuel you to do–winning a championship of a sport he’s thrown his entire heart in, with a man who’s gripped it tight since he knew how to throw it to him too.

“Dumbass,” Ja’Marr murmurs back, nudging his nose to Joe’s for the softest nose kiss Joe has ever experienced, “hi to you too.”

ok bye

[healer-pop]

U know what I been thinking abt.....an aphrodisiac fic. I've got it all written out in my head, reader and Sloane are out camping. They are having a good day, set up camp and while gathering wood reader gets poofed in the face by a flower (sporess ooo). Sloane laughs their ass off, and reader is a little peeved getting spores all over themself.

Fast forward, dinner is being cooked and reader starts to feel weird. Hot, high, and really bothered!! They go into the tent to hide, and Sloane knocks on it saying dinners ready. Reader never comes out tho and Sloane goes in to see them sweating, hot and almost sick looking. Sloane tries to tend to them, a wet rag and asking what's wrong are they sick?? The second Sloane touches reader tho...they mewl. Almost a whine that creeps out of the back of their throat. Super sexy sounding. Sloane chooses to ignore it because they think reader is sick... it's just them being sick.. yes obviously.

Maybe Sloane helps them sit up to drink some water and the touch has reader grasping onto their leg HARD. Readers panting like a dog and got them bedroom eyes...

Was toying with the idea of Sloane and reader being best friends everrr with some huge unresolved romantic feelings. This is just the dam that breaks it all open. Obv all consent is given and gotten, and I think it was actually well talked out. Reader reassures Sloane they've wanted this for so long, but if they said no that they could forget it ever happened. I'm crazy insane I'm shaking the bars of my cage.

Googling, “can I sue the anon that wrote the hottest, absolutely most well thought out, mentally damaging fic in my inbox for emotional reparation?”

LIKE HOW DO U DROP THIS AND NOT EXPECT ME TO FROTH AT THE MOUTH???? Anon, I don’t know how you knew that sex pollen fics have always been my favorite but I do blame you for the fact that this kept me up last night!!!! mainly because this is so spot on and also why I don’t really get together fix with Venture, especially with my flowery writing, lengthy ass. That shit would be like 20K before you guys even touched. To me, Sloane is not the one to make a first move. And if you aren’t either, it’s just never gonna happen. Once you’ve actually gotten established, they’re super touchy and able to respect your boundaries, but before? They are wayyyyy too nervous, their biggest one being that they’re just overthinking your interactions with them and they don’t want to mess anything up. Unless you directly say, “I like you and want to date you,” it’s gonna go over their head.

And that would work perfectly for this fic, it would be such a desperate, hot sloppy mess for the both of you: With Sloane, trying to preserve your friendship and not mess this up despite their desire for you, how much this is actually you and how much of this is just the pollen and desperation. And you pleading with them, trying to get across that no, you have wanted this for so damn long and it sucks that it took some stupid horny flower to make you say it, but please, for the love of AURORA, Sloane, TOUCH ME. God I could imagine how red their face would be. They would keep checking in with you to make sure they’re doing it right for you, whether they’re sliding their fingers in your cunt or sucking on your tits!!! You’re almost tempted to go and grab that damn flower and shove it in their face so they can loosen up, but… the way they take care of you, trying every single position to quell your burning arousal…. so loving and tender… it’s honestly what you crave more. They have you on your knees, thrusting back onto their fingers as they encourage you, their beaded bracelets click with every motion, their hand on the small of your back, kneading your ass. On their sleeping bag, legs wrapped around their shoulders, eating you out like you’re as yummy as those s’mores they had earlier, telling you to wet their sleeping bag, they’ll just cuddle naked with you in yours while you put that one out to dry. And yes…. you CAN fall asleep with their strap in you, if it feels good. You can wake up at any time and fuck yourself on it. Sloane will be awake in an instant, helping you roll your hips back, digging into them because god, this has only been a dream. Feeling your flesh in their hands, being able to touch and hold and clench. Might keep a mental track of how many times you’ve cum. You know. For posterity.

And after you’ve been fucked through it? When you wake up with the worst bed head you’ve ever had, covered in sweat and bruises, naked and pressed against Sloane in your sleeping bag? Sloane will kiss your lips shut, guide you back down, and show you the most loving, intimate sex, you’ve ever had. You’ll feel like you have never connected with a partner more than you have right now. Whispers of love from Sloane, complementing how pretty you are, how perfect, how you were made for them, how good you are to them, how they want to see you every day of their life. Completely overwhelming, yet so needed, especially how you were held so helpless to your own lust. They make sure you know that they aren’t leaving. They’ll be here by your side through anything.

[lovelykil]

CAN U DO REVERSE COMFORT WITH KILLUA

IDC WHAT ITS ABT BUT JUST MAKE IT REVERSE COMFORT PLEASE POOKIE😞🙏🏻

chocolates—

: ➛killua

note; my brain has put itself on hold for like a week 🙁🙁 but anyway ofc pookie

my back leans against the cold wall with my knees tucked to my chest, I sit still like a pouting child. Except I'm not pouting. I sniffle, my glossy eyes staring at the carpet. This same overwhelming feeling of anxiety washes over me as the pathetic tears swell my eyes.

was this my fault? was I the cause of this break up? will.. she come back?

"shit,," I breathe out as I wipe away these droplets of vulnerability. The more I think about it the more I want to cry. It's all so stupid but—

"y/n." I nearly jump at the voice from beside me, I was so lost in my thoughts I must've forgotten I wasn't alone in this bedroom.. that wasn't even mine.

"h-huh?" I turn my head toward the voice, eyes wide and watery as I stare off guard like. It was him, he was still in his sleeping wear; comfortable baggy sweats with a black loose t-shirt. He looked wearily, his blue eyes low and dark as his hair was quite in a mess, not entirely but some stains stuck out. It kinda went with his whole layered haircut he recent got though.

"you shouldn't cry over her you know, I kinda saw this coming to be honest." killua said, his voice hushed in the dark space before he looked away. He sat with his legs infront of him, knees toward the ceiling as he arms rested on them. I remained looking at him, letting his words sink in. My eyes dart away for a moment as I look away shortly.

"you did?"

"yeah." I sit in silence with him trying to wrap my head around all of this, my legs grow minds of their own as they fall to the ground slowly. I mess with my finger tips, speaking again.

"how so? Was this my fault?" I whisper. I feel weak as I mutter the question, my stomach twists with horrible sensations that make me queasy, I almost don't want him to answer, afraid I might be correct.

I am a terrible friend.

"are you kidding me? No. I didn't want to say anything or else we would've had a fight and honestly I wasn't in the mood for that but, she was a total bitch." Judging by the tone of his voice, he was being sincere. He was harsh as he explained,, suddenly that weird feeling went away and I felt.. relived?

"well that's not nice.." I chuckle lightly, sniffling in the moment. I hear him scoff 'tch.' He goes as his legs fall just like mine. He looks over at me as I do the same. Our eyes meet.

"she gave me such a headache, god I hate your friends."

"killua.." I make a face, my eyes still glossy red from the crying. I fold my arms slowly stating at him. He looks at me like he's done nothing wrong, even smirking with those tired eyes of his.

"it's true–"

"I still really cared about her though, we've been friends for so long kil.. it kinda hurts." My arms unfold to mess with the string of my pj pants I wore. Silence filled the air, it felt like a long one.. it felt like he was conflicted on what to say next.

maybe he understood? Maybe he didn't. I had no clue in that moment. It wasn't until I heard him softly sigh and saw him stand up I realized he didn't understand. He left the room and abandoned me in this empty bedroom for a few minutes.

to be honest I felt a little offended, even sulking till he returned back. What the hell did he leave for??

I saw him close his door with something in his hand, he walked himself back to me and sat down— this time a little closer than before.

curious and a little mad, I gazed over at the silverette to see what he was holding. It was..

"chocolate, here."

"huh?" He placed the chocolate— actually it was his chocolate robots right on my lap as I squinted to see it clearly. My eyes grew as I picked up the treat, my mouth hung open slightly in shock.

"your chocolate robots? But you never—"

"just shut up and take it before I change mind.." He opened his robot, making it very clear to just shut the hell up and take it. In which I did, quickly! A confused but warm smile tugged my lips as I opened the treat.

I could feel his eyes land on me as I happily ate the chocolates, he only stared for a bit before he looked away. Out of the corner of my eye, I caught him smiling to himself looking at the robot container.

he was either really happy about the chocolate or me. If I was to guess it was probably the chocolate.. either way he still looked adorable when he smiled. I felt a little better now.

"hey, it's okay to be torn about her.. you'll eventually get over it. Though you shouldn't because she sucks but you get it.. I kinda hate seeing you act so sad. Your smile is way better anyway." my sweet, unaffectionate, idiotic boyfriend spoke with sincerity, he chews on his chocolate momentarily after speaking such kind words to me.

I look at him, stunned for words. "killua—"

"don't ruin the moment.. just shhh." He says, pressing a finger to my lips. I cross my eyes to look at his finger then look back at him as I nod. He removes his finger about to open his mouth wide to pour in more chocolate but I interrupt with a grin.

"oh killua you're so cute you know? Thanks sweetheart." I tease, leaning in to peck his cheek. Once I do I sit back down and lean my head on him to savor this moment.

this time I smile to myself, thinking about his face right now.

at this point my tears were all dried up, and the feeling of anxiety was replaced with a warm fuzzy one from this hunter. He takes a second to respond to which I snicker lightly once he does.

"your... your welcome."

[thelunarbar]

I hate Kate with every fiber of my being 🤮

I’m sorry would firing off a weapon at random in the middle of the not being the police?

Turns out I don’t remember this real well so that’s interesting

I appreciate that Chris is at least semi sensible even if he is actively trying to kill Derek and Scott

The cgi or whatever on Derek’s not normal bullet wound is so bad 😂

Oh yeah grabbing her hand and defensively yelling no is so subtle

Ooh caught in a lie. Shoulda got their story straight before Allison woke up. Tsk tsk

Scott knows nothing. Typical.

“Studying with Allison” yeah right

Dylan O’Brien has pretty eyes

I wanna punch Jackson

Derek (literally dying) goes totally unnoticed in a highschool are there no teachers or curious students??? Are they all that self involved???

Also Derek (still literally dying) gets jump scared by the bell love it

How did stiles not see Derek at some point while he was in the hallway?

And then Derek collapses in the parking and still no one notices him

“A silver bullet?”

“No you idiot.” Even dying Derek is not putting with stiles shit

Derek (literally dying) (going to help Scott even tho he has absolutely no reason to) needs Scott’s help

Scott grudgingly agrees to help the dying man what a saint

And then promptly gets distracted by Allison shocker

Ik Scott is like what 15 here but c’mon man someone is literally dying and counting on you to save him and all you can think about is getting in Allison’s pants

Oh good more cringey make outs. These are supposed to be teenagers I do not want to watch them make out 🤮

Am I old? I feel like that makes me sound like an old lady but it’s true

I love that somehow while still in town it looks like they’re almost to Derek’s house which is deep in the woods? Yes yes that tracks

“In fact I think if I wanted to I could drag your little werewolf ass out into the middle of the road and leave you for dead.”

“Start the car or I’m gonna rip your throat out with my teeth.” Yes threatening the guy trying to keep you alive is great.

Fuck Scott. Honestly. They’re are more important things in life than getting your dick wet

Archery how quirky

Ik it’s like a family thing but still

Cock block chris love it

Ooh awkward family dinner with the gfs family always fun sucker

Why do parent in tv shows offer teenagers alcohol as like a test??? So dumb

“Hockey on grass is called field hockey.” 😂

Poor stiles and poor Derek

“He’s starting to smell.”

“Like what?”

“Like death!”

Yeah let Derek die bc you’d rather not leave your gf. Can we say hero 🙄

Fortunately the bullet he’s looking just happens to be in a special box bc ofc and I get for plot reasons but still

Derek never loses his drama even when dying

I’m with stiles on the whole cutting off Derek’s arm

Love that this whole thing literally couldn’t not matter less to Scott 🙄

I read a couple great fics abt stiles actually cutting off Derek’s arm bc Scott was late that I still think about to this day. I reread them quite a bit

I hate Kate so fucking much even tho he did actually take smth from her

Allison whipping out that condom is probably her best moment ngl 😂

“You faint at the sight of blood?”

“No but I might at the sight of chopped off arm!”

I am so with stiles on this whole cutting off body parts thing

Derek’s Batman voice is really funny to me.

I get why the first idea is to stick your fingers through the grate but I’m pretty sure those things pop out at least generally speaking

Love that stiles punched Derek in the face. Pretty sure he nearly does it again later on in the show

Where did Derek get the lighter? Did he just have that on him? Also so did not wanna watch him stick his finger in his wound gross

Ah teenage stupidity. Gotta hate it.

Ohhhh we finally met Peter! I don’t like him for obvious reasons but later on he’s so sassy and it’s hard not to like him

Knowing what the argents did makes me hate Kate even more and love that Chris broke free of that.

Ofc Scott would defend the argents 🙄 again teenage stupidity

Poor Derek he deserved better

How was there still a lil shard of glass from Kate’s broken window on the edge of the car door??? That seems unlikely

I appreciate that Chris at least had some standards even they still sucked.

Kate throwing the match into the fireplace was sooooooo foreshadowing at the truth to be learned down the road and I do like that

[schlattslonghairytoes]

chapter two

instagram!

taliasgrill

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46 minutes ago

iMessage!

##########

hey talia?

whom is this.

oh sorry its hansum

from last night

hope its alright I got your number from ted

oh hi hansum!

contact changed to "mr I shit my pants🪩"

sorry I left without saying goodbye, I was rly tired

oh don't worry abt it, it kinda fizzled out after you left

are you saying I carried the party?

read

wowwwww

hes ignoring me now.

yknow ive only been speechless a handful of times. 

this is one of them, I'm speechless.

so stunned I'm even using proper punctuation.

You forgot to capitalize! 😃

read  real life!

Talia 

hangover is one vicious bitch because it feels like my eyes are being ripped out of their sockets right now, and brittnay's door slamming habits don't fucking help.

"'ello me majesty, i have your water and your trusty advil, 'swell as an open ear for anything that might of occurred last fine evening". I swear britney would of flourished in the middle ages. I take my meds and sit up.

"I think I saw schlatt last night." I deadpan.

you would think I'm telling people someone died, two people in the span of ten minutes have been stunned to silence by me.

"wait a minute, schlatt schlatt? like obsessed with monkeys schlatt? fell off a city bike into a child schlatt? jonathan schlatt from high school?"

"girl you're smart, have you ever met anyone else with the last name schlatt." she shakes her head.

"how do you feel, oh my god did you talk to him?" silence fills the room "you didn't even say hi? oh wow you really are stupid, cmon, wait let me guess, you irish goodbyed too." the silence in the room continued.

"oh bitch you've got to be kidding, tal you cannot keep running away from shit, you are a strong independent woman who needs to stop leaving when things get difficult. do you hear me." brittnay has always been my biggest supporter, but even her words only go so far.

"brittnay its hard, I just feel like my only option is to run away as fast as possible, listen I know you have to go record with trixie, thank you, now go before your late and she kills you."

"you're so lucky i love you, stay strong, stop running and do the dishes, see you at 8." britney calls as she gets up and leaves the house. honestly I've always been a runner, i hate confrontation. i hate actually facing my problems, that's why i lost schlatt in the first place, we were to similar, both scared of outcomes.

"leave, get out of my house schlatt." Talia yelled in his face. "please lia you're leaving tomorrow. I know we don't want to talk about it, but we have too. please I can't lose you lia, c'mon for us we need to talk about it" he begged her in the pouring rain, as cliche as it sounds it was his last chance. he knew no matter how scared he was, he needed to try. "I can't jay, I cant I'm sorry" and she closed the door. closing the chapter on what they could of been

besides she was moving across the country to go to college, he was staying back to start his social media career and his business, it could of worked, maybe. just maybe if she didn't close the door.

iMessage!

theodore roosevelt 

lia

llai

lia

lai

what could you possibly need Theo

I have a huge question

like extremely large

like my johnson

ok wait I need to be serious 😔

gonna ignore the johnson comment

ok lets hear this ginormous ask

can you come to san fran to film some videos with us?

please you would make it so fun

pleaseeeeee

ted.

pleaseeeeee

when.

tomorrow?

😟 tomorrow?!?

and also

one more tiny detail

very tiny

oh goodness what.

schlatts gonna be there.

hmm??

[toecrust69]

I love the Batsis that’s obsessed with cat woman, can we see how she Interacts with Selina in person?

A/N: OMG IM LITERALLY SO GLAD U ASKED. Also, sorry if this took a long time to answer!!

Oh and ur like 13 or 12 in this and Bruce and Selina are in a relationship (sorry if this was a stupid thing to metion)

I feel like it definitely depends on the situation, yk?

By that I mean whether or not batsis knows about Selina being Catwoman

If she doesn't know about it, she'll definitely fangirl about it to her

Since nobody else in the manor wants to talk about it, she's your last resort

It doesn't make her uncomfortable tho, she actually finds it kinda amusing

Like

Can you imagine your boyfriends daughter fangiling about how hot, badass, cool, and iconic you are without even knowing they're fangirling over you?

She'd listen closely to every word you say, pride swelling up in her chest

"She's so cool! I'm honestly kinda jealous of Batman." She smirked and looked over her shoulder at you before responding.

"Really? How so?" She asked curiously.

"I dunno man, I think it's the fact that he gets to hang out with her everyday. If I ever see batman I'm gonna ask him for her number."

"Hang on, how old are you? And how do you know Bruce won't blow up?" You stopped chewing on your cereal for a second, thinking about what you'd say next

"First of all, Bruce should be proud of me! I just got the phone number of one of the hottest and most iconic people to ever live. If he doesn't feel proud or at the very least jealous, I don't know how he'd feel" you shrugged mindlessly

"Ok, but how old are you?"

"... old enough"

Your definitely her favorite, but she'll never admit it

About the body pillow...

She'd probably buy you more just to piss off Bruce (he had no idea you bought it)

She'd also buy you a bunch of merchandise of her

This includes shirts, shoes, pants, hats, pillows, underwear, glasses, posters, socks, etc.

Are you sad?? Don't worry, she has a catwoman mug in her purse custom made just for you :))

On the other hand, if you already know who she is, it's gonna be a bit of a mess

You'd definitely figure it out after fangirling about her for almost 6 months

You'd feel a bit embarrassed for a second before quickly recovering and going back to normal (for the most part)

To say the least, you'd constantly try to get her number or at the very least flirt with her

You know those tiktoks talking abt poetic rizz? Just imagine that if they were brought to life and now it's you

You'd follow her around the halls of the manor and batcave while reading out one of the latest poems you either read or made just for her

She ends up having to stiffle a laughe whenever your reading it to her and Bruce comes in with a huge frown on his face

He'd tell you to stop only for you to continue shortly after he leaves the room

" I would rather swim in a stormy sea than sail calm waters without yo-" you were quickly interrupted when Bruce came busting through the door with a huge frown on his face

"Stop it! She's almost 20 years older than you, leave her alone"

"Oh my bad, I'll stop" you answered dryly

"Good" He said sternly before walking out the room, leaving you and Selina alone. You turned around to look at her with a cocktail smirk, "I think he's jealous I'm trying to steal his girl and it's actually working ;)"

Yea no Bruce absolutely hates it

He doesn't like the fact that her daughter is getting more attention from his gf than him😭😭

But he knows that she'd never leave him for a 13 year old girl with amazing rizz like you, right?

... right?

Every time she comes back from a mission without you, you'd ask he about it

You'll listen intently to every word she says, making tiny comments every now and then

Once you turn 18, you'd rent an apartment and let her know so she can visit whenever she wants (yea ur still obsessed with her)

One time, you ended up not going on patrol for a whole week because you were sickand she came to visit you with chicken soup in her hands

You thanked her profusely and kept on offering her some stuff like water or food but she always declined

She was your guest after all

Am iconic one at that

She'd watch movies with you for a while before eventually forcing you to sleep

Then next day she'd invite you to go rob some jewelry stores with her, ivy, and harley

Speaking of ivy and harley

they absolutely adore you!!

Ivy never fails to notice how all the plants around you seem to lean into you when you walk past them

Your like a magnet and she seems to have gotten stuck onto you as well

I REALLY HOPE THAT MADE SENSE😭😭

Harley also can't help but notice the way her hyenas cuddle up to your legs whenever you come over to her apartment

She'd smile softly from the kitchen as she watched you play around with Bud and Lou

Oh and Selinas cats also like u

You're actually kinda fond of cats but you've never met any until one day when you can over to Selinas appartment

You'd only ever seen cats on TV or on the internet but never in real life

You were having fun playing around with her 10 cats until you began aggressively sneezing lmao

You ended up spread out on the floor, arms outstretched as the cats began surrounding you

You were still sneezing, just not as bad anymore

That was until one of the cats walked up to your face and began licking your face

You could feel a strong sneeze coming up but you didn't want to scare him away so you ended up having to hold your breath so you wouldnt sneeze

You held it in for such a long time that even Selina wondered how you were still alive

But you couldn't hold it in for too long so you ended up sneezing anyways lmao

Sorry if this was kinda short, should I make a pt.2??

Oh and credits to @thesharktanksdriver , she inspired me to make this and u can tell bc I used the same layout as her. Her writing is amazing and I highly recommend you read it!!

[loversj0y]

for the Wilbur Drabble Taylor swift thing can you PLEASE DO DELICATE

delicate

event masterlist

pairing: wilbur soot x gn! streamer! reader

tw: slight agoraphobia, bars, drinking, insecurities

notes: sorry abt the delays and stuff! love this song so fuucking much i <3333 this was my most listened to song last year

word count: 1.9k

taglist: @l0veb0mb1ng / @core-queen / @zooone / @lillylvjy / @melunnek

It was almost a sick kind of amusing how easily words could be twisted. Within a week, you felt like you’d gone from the top of the world to the bottom of the barrel, when a stream clip of you talking about a fellow streamer got twisted into what felt like the whole world turning against you. It was stupid. You hated him for valid reasons, but you didn’t actually say anything, people just took things too far and now, even when you tried to clarify things, it only got worse. You watched with horrified eyes as friends turned their back on you, saying the worst fucking things about how you were a liar and a snake, over a stream clip taken out of context.

You wanted to hide. Entirely. Even knowing that you were only a Twitch Streamer, not some big time celebrity, it felt like every time you left the house you could feel people’s glares and angry stares (despite the fact that it was mostly in your head). Leaving your house became a stressful ordeal.

So you did hide. You stopped streaming and making content, except for all the ideas you wrote down because your brain was so wired for it at this point. But your dark bedroom became a sacred place, the only place you truly felt safe. 

It was pretty late, nearing midnight when your phone buzzed on your nightstand, the screen lighting up the room. 

‘hey, where are you?’ was all the text read. It was from Wilbur. You honestly barely even knew him a few months ago, but he somehow became your best friend. He stuck by you even despite what everyone said about you online, and you honestly questioned if he knew what happened. 

‘Hiding again :(‘ You texted back simply.

He sent you his location, and you looked to check what it was. It was a shady dive bar on the outer part of town, away from most people. 

‘I will literally pay for your uber. You need to leave your house and this place is really cool.’

You debated it for a long moment. You didn’t look perfect right now, but if you tossed on a better pair of pants and a jacket, you could fix up everything else easily. And it would be nice to get out of your house for at least a bit, even if the thought gave you anxiety.

‘Be there soon.’ You texted him after a few minutes of deliberation, standing slowly. You got dressed quickly and called an Uber, waiting for it to be outside before you actually left out your front door. The entire drive over mostly consisted of your fingers nervously drumming on your leg as anxiety filled you more and more. 

By the time you arrived, you had half a mind to just ask the Uber to turn back around. But you already told Wilbur you’d be here, so you got out of the car and headed inside. It was a nice place, you did have to hand it to Wilbur. The front was primarily open, a patio with people chatting freely among themselves. None of them spared you a glance as you headed towards the main entrance, and you felt grateful for it. When you did walk in, a few heads turned, and your anxiety grew. After a moment of searching the slight crowd, you spotted Wilbur in the back, sitting at a two top alone. You smiled softly and waved as you started walking towards him. 

He stood, coming up and giving you a hug, “You made it! I was getting a little worried you’d ditch.”

“I almost did,” you admitted softly, hugging him back, “But I think my Uber driver was getting pissed at my finger tapping, honestly.”

He laughed, sitting back down. You sat down across from him, smiling at him. He looked really nice, a blue vintage Nike jumper matched with a pair of dark jeans. The thing about Wilbur having stuck by you when no one else really did, was it lead to a fast development. The feelings you had for him went from friendly to romantic at some point, and although you couldn’t pinpoint when, it happened almost all at once and quickly. But you found yourself oddly content with it, the anxiety in your brain focused too much on your online life to focus on how you felt about a crush. It didn’t mean you weren’t nervous, but it was much more subdued when your mind was preoccupied with so much else.

“Well, I’m glad you didn’t,” he smiled, “has it been bad today?” “Eh,” you shrugged, “Not any worse than the rest of the days, I guess.”

He nodded, “Every day it isn’t worse is progress, I’d say.”

You nodded, quietly taking a moment to look around the room. It had gotten busier, but it wasn’t overwhelming yet, especially with no one looking in your direction. You turned back to him, fiddling with the chipping paint at the edge of the table. 

“Are you not worried?” You asked him, avoiding eye contact, “To be seen with me?”

He gave you a funny look, shrugging, “Honestly? I don’t give a shit. Isn’t it enough for me to know you and like you?”

You peered up at him, a soft flush covering your cheeks, “Yeah, I just mean like… I don’t want you to get into hot water for being seen with me.”

“Let them say what they want about me. I don’t do enough on the internet these days to even cause much talk anyways.” He smiled.

His smile brought a smile out of you, “If you’re sure.”

“Oh, trust me,” he chuckled, “I’m very sure.”

The majority of the night was fine, a few drinks keeping the conversation light. Wilbur did a fantastic job of keeping your paranoia at bay, for the most part. As the bar got a bit more full, it was inevitable for people to look at you both, and it became all too much when a couple gave you both several glances. Wilbur caught onto your growing paranoia, and he reached over, gently touching your arm. 

“Hey, let’s get out of here. We can head to mind, if you want?”

You nodded, and in your slight panic, you took his hand into yours, holding onto him for support. He led you outside, hailing a cab. 

He moved his hand to your back, rubbing it gently. “It’s alright,” he murmured, “You’re okay, alright?” You nodded, leaning into his touch, “Yeah, sorry, there were just a lot of people, and I just… yeah.” 

“I know, it’s alright,” he smiled, pulling you in closer to him. He was warm, and you felt yourself leaning in to his side. He moved his arm, and you almost moved away from him, but instead he wrapped his arm around your shoulder, pulling you in closer while you waited for the cab. He gave you a gentle smile, and you found yourself flushing under his attention. When the cab pulled up, he opened the door for you and ushered you in first, a hand gently staying on your back to remind you that you were safe, and that he was there. He got in, keeping you close, and he told the driver his address. 

The drive was quiet and nice, staring at the city as it passed quietly. Your hand rested on the middle seat, and after a moment, you felt Wilbur’s hand gently rest on top of yours. Without turning your head, you turned your hand slowly, lacing your fingers together. He gently squeezed your hand, and you returned the gesture, a soft smile brushing onto your face. 

Once the cab pulled up to Wilbur’s apartment building, Wilbur carefully got out of the car, never releasing your hand the entire process, even as you both walked upstairs. You were almost scared to speak, the entire environment felt delicate, like if you spoke, he’d pull his hand away and be added to the long list of betrayers in your life. You wanted to say something, to admit how he’s occupied a permanent home in your mind, but the cold air of the apartment lobby didn’t seem like the home for that conversation.

You took the elevator to the third floor, getting a bit closer to Wilbur and leaning your head against his shoulder. He kissed the top of your head ever so gently before the elevator arrived, and he walked you to his apartment. When you walked in, neither of you wanted to pull your hands away, so he gently moved you both to sit on the couch.

You looked up at him, and he met your gaze. You got lost in his eyes immediately, pretending you were actually his. Fuck, you liked him much more than you thought.

You didn’t want to speak up. You had to, because for once, it felt like maybe there was someone who liked you for you, and you couldn’t bear to get your hopes up only for it to fall through. But there was something your brain seemed more inclined to do first.

“Wilbur,” you started softly. Your faces were incredibly close now, and you could feel his breath against your face, “Can I kiss you?”

He nodded quickly, hand gently moving to rest on your cheek. He leaned in, and you met his lips, kissing him gently. Your hands went to rest on his shoulders, and his hand gently cupped the back of your head, not forcefully, just lightly threading his fingers into your hair. The kiss was gentle, yet full of passion and longing.

When you pulled away, your foreheads rested together for a few moments as you sat there quietly, processing how to speak up.

“I like you,” you spoke softly, “I- I know that’s probably obvious, but… even despite everything, you’ve stuck by me even though my reputation has literally never been worse, and I’ve been trying hard to seem composed and put together around you,” you started rambling as you continued, pulling away slightly so you were actually facing each other now, “but you’re on my mind a lot more than I should probably admit, and our friendship is already pretty delicate, so I’m honestly a bit terrified to have even brought this up, but I just really-”

“Hey,” Wilbur interrupted, chuckling softly, “take a breath. Relax. This is going better than your mind is probably telling you right now.”

You nodded softly, taking a breath slowly. “I just- I really like you. Is it cool that I said all that?”

He smiled softly, bringing a hand forward and brushing a strand behind your ear, “Yeah, it is. Because I really like you too. I don’t give a fuck what people say about you, honestly. I like you for you. You’re gorgeous, and smart, and you’re way funnier than you give yourself credit for.” 

You flushed softly, taking his hand in yours once again as you thought for a moment, “Life is crazy, so, I know we can’t make any promises now or anything but… you know what you can make?”

He grinned, chuckled softly, “What is that?”

“You can make me a drink.”

He laughed, head falling back, before looking back at you with the most adoring eyes, “See. Funnier than you give yourself credit for.” He smiled and stood, kissing your forehead, “I’ll go get you that drink.”

You grinned back at him, and as you heard echoes of his footsteps, you relaxed and let out a breath, knowing that as delicate as everything is, you at least didn’t have to pretend he was yours anymore. 

[moldsporr]

hi alfie im gonna ramble to u abt my stupid fuckass job tonight

so i work at a thrift store right and for the most part the customers r all like rlly old women or drunk men, sometimes alt teenagers who hate u, sometimes rlly rich fucking women who hate u even more

theres this one guy who always comes in on saturdays when i work alone (i usually work with 1 coworker) the only things he buys r ties, formal shirts, and suit pants. ive heard rumors tht hes a lawyer and a huge misogynist and that he burns all of the shirts he buys at our store after having worn them Once. and recently he actually told me that himself. he also came in kinda drunk i think and asked me if i have a boyfriend to which i replied 'i dont know'

theres also this one lady whos rlly obsessed with buying things from expensive brands, especially bags and purses. she often argues abt the prices and has called our higher ups to complain multiple times and shes always yelling at everyone and picking fights with ppl which is a little funny

ive also learned that old ppl have a very soft spot for stuffed animals that r very realistic they love saying 'oh mi gosh it looks just like a real puppy!' they also like when u tell them tht a piece of clothing they picked is Unique and Something Different i think it makes them feel special but its kinda sweet

working here is also great bcuz its alwyas funny overhearing 2 old ladies trying to decipher my gender before they come up to me to ask sth

HELP

Ohh that sounds so interesting.. I love old ppl tbh. I volunteered at a non profit pop up shop thing for clothes last month and a pair of little old ladies came up and they'd grabbed these cute little crochet scarves. I'm working the counter (basically all we do is take note of what was taken and if anybody left clothes to be sold later) and they're smiling about the scarves so I tell them they have great taste, the scarves compliment their hair and such and they're like Aww. Pinch my cheek and are like "You're so cute you remind me of my grandson" and instead of freaking out about being gendered correctly I ask if they want a candy before they leave (we have a little candy basket for people to take a piece) and they're like Oh No I Couldn't. And I'm like ma'am you gotta treat yourself. This is the good stuff. And I hand em a little chocolate bar and they giggle and walk off

Guhh I need a job I am so good at that shit

Also I need to know more about Mr shirt burner what is his deal

[theloveinc]

omg katuski as kendall…so true bestie…anyways i like to imagine aside from looks reader is actually really good at their job which inturn makes them EVEN MORE SEXY TO THE OFFICE!!!

(succession!au tag - here!)

do notttt make me turn this into a post abt character x smart!reader bc that's my whole fucking life and i'll die defending it before i die doing anything else. on god.

but anyway, in the succession!au too?? *starts foaming at the mouth and spitting*

LIKE, they're almost all fucking nepo babies of SOME sort, cuz even the ones with more humble beginnings (like Kiri and Deku) never had to work that hard w/ Bakugo and All Might by their sides, helping to both teach them abt business AND offer them fancy jobs...

so meeting someone (Y-O-U) who actually labored for what they have? and truly earned their position w/ hard work and genuine smarts???

ooooh it's so sexy to them, especially since you can see right through almost all of their shit and don't give into their stupid requests and business moves just bc you wanna be in their favor or suck dick for a better position.

(let it be known that Deku has fumbled a few good deals letting a new recruit make decisions on his behalf just because he wanted to get in their pants... a fact that never fails to make bakugo smug asf LOL)

But there you are, working hard + minding your business AND THEY LOVE IT; love when you charge into meetings and assert your points, or fight back when you think a plan is stupid, even if that plan is All Might's or Bakugo's... you actually care about the company and they can tell.

...which is why you end up getting invited to all the foreign business meetings where the boys drool over your nice, revealing vacation clothes at the same you negotiate business...

and if your blatant denial of their interest in you and focus on your work makes them all the more horny? THAT'S NONE OF MY BUSINESS.

[sensei-venus]

what do u think abt omega moon and omega reader who r in a relationship with each other falling for alpha eli?

(Unedited) (Support Links🌺) (This is short, might make a smut follow-up if asked.)

Reader couldn't stop the big smile that pulled at her lips as she watched the tall boy grab a book off the shelf.

“Here you go- that's the one you wanted right?” Eli said as he handed her the thick textbook.

Reader nodded at him as she held the textbook to her side. She spent over five minutes trying to reach the stupid thing. Lucky enough Eli, the shy alpha from her English class, just so happen to pass by. He was looking for a place to study and found some form of solitude in the school library. He was sitting his stuff down when he first laid eyes on the omega who was clearly struggling for a book on the top shelf of one of the many book cases.

Of course he knew who she was but he had never really taken the opportunity to actually talk to her. He only studies her from afar while in class.

He knew she had a girlfriend, another pretty omega by the name of Moon. Be saw the two of them talking all the time and walking around together. How even saw them kiss a few times, right on the lips.

It was a shock at first, he had never seen two omegas kiss before let alone date. He was by no means against the idea of omegas being together, it was just the first time he had actually seen two together in public.

Sometimes he secretly wished he could be between them. Be a real alpha and own up, go over, and talk to them. But he just couldn't. Two pretty and sweet omegas, currently and clearly in love with each other, going for an alpha like him? No way.

“Thank you for getting that book for me. I don’t know why someone would put such a big textbook up there. Thanks Eli.”

“Uhh no problem- wait you know my name?” Eli questioned at the big-eyed omega. He didn't think she would actually know his name. They never spoke before.

“Of course I know your, your in my english class. You sit across from me and my girlfriend Moon. You got that A+ the other day in class for the lit test. Your a very smart alpha.” She almost giggled at his shocked face. He gulped before shyly nodding.

“Thanks again.”

“Your welcome Reader..”

That’s how it started and things only spiraled after that day.

Moon caught the alpha watching her multiple times in the hallway. His bright blue eyes watching her and following her. It wasn't in a creepy fashion like most of the alphas at school. It was more innocent. As soon as he was noticed by the small omega he would look away, scatter away from her. It was like he just wanted to look at her, not actually try anything. He never got close enough honestly.

When Reader told her about the library incident, things started to turn.

Suddenly dirty talk now consisted of things like-

“You wish it was that alpha fucking you right now.”

“You wish it was Eli’s fat knot in you instead of my fake one.”

“Bet you want his hot load inside you, inside that pretty fat cunt.”

Weeks of hot messy fun sex with the thought of the alpha.

School became a hot zone after that for the omega couple.

Reader and Moon couldn’t stop from looking over at the alpha. They both sat at the back of the lunch room, away from their own little group of friends. It was their day to just be alone together. Today they wanted to spend their time looking at the cute little shy alpha. The alpha caught both of their eyes and was now on their radar.

Moon giggled as she cuddled closer to the chubby girl, her head resting on her shoulder. Reader felt her cheeks get warm the longer she looked at the boy. He was sitting with his friends across the room with his head down. Borrowed into himself.

“He's cute, I don't think I have ever met such a shy and sweet alpha before. A real one that is, not a fake one that does it to try and get into omega’s pants all the time.”

“Yeah your right. I can't get over his eyes, their so pretty and blue! Aww hes adorable. I kinda want to just jump his bones.”

Moon laughed as she looked up at Reader, the two of them smiled before sharing a small light kiss. Reader giggled as they separated. Moon rubbed against the scent gland in Reader’s neck, the two of them gently scenting one another.

They didn't really care who saw them, it was a normal thing to do with your mate. Both of their eyes were closed as they scented one another. After a moment they stopped.

“So it's a yes on the possibility of-”

“Oh yes, definitely! I guess we just have to think of a way to ask him....”

The two omegas smirked as they accidentally locked eyes with Eli. His cheeks flared and his eyes went wide. He spun back around in his seat and hunched down. Clearly embarrassed after being caught watching the two affectionate omegas.

The two omegas watched from afar, waiting for the day to swoop in and claim the shy alpha as theirs.

Claiming him as theirs.

[teddybeartoji]

HELLO I’M SLIDING INTO YOUR INBOX NOT SO SMOOTHLY

5, 13 and 33 for your ask game :3

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEELANIBABYYY:333333333333

5. tell us some funny drunk story

😭😭😭 idk how funny it is to everybody else but it sure is to me. it's more embarrassing actually but i'm gonna tell you anyway:333 soooo cue me going to the club after a 12h shift. i hadn't eaten anything since like 3pm and my work day ended at 9 aaaand we were at the party at like 11 already. it's not looking too good already now is it.............. i also vaped at that time. and i am a terrible lightweight :D so i am starving and two drinks in, vaping and dancing my ass off, and i'm already starting to feel a little off yk? so i think that taking a piss will fix me.

it did not.

oh and also this was during february so it was cold as shit and we didn't even take our coats off (just bc we kept going outside and then back inside). so now. i'm in this bathroom that's exactly the size of ONE toilet i kid you not. it's literally the door - you - toilet and that's the whole room😭😭😭😭 i was already struggling with my long coat bc fuck my head is dizzy and there's no room and there wasn't anywhere to put the damn thing either so i ended up just holding it in my lap. i finally manage to actually take a piss and then...

oh no...

i feel SO bad. like sick. like i'm about to vomit. FUCKFUKCUFKCUFK THE ONLY THING IN MY HEAD WAS HOW THE FUCK AMI EVEN GONNA PUKE IN HERE?????? AHGSHASHGAGHSGHA I WAS ABT TO FREAK THE FUCK OUT. i took a few deep breaths and made a plan that i'm gonna rush outside immediately. i will not vomit all over the floor of the club. i will not. i know most of these people i would actually have to kll myself.

i push up i manage to pull my PANTIES on and... voila.

so i just ended up bent over the toilet bowl with my big ass coat in my hands with only my pink panties on i didn't have the time to pull up my pants, and since my ass was facing the door i just couldn't stop thinking abt the lousy ass lock on the thing... what if somebody actually pulls it open😭😭😭😭😭😭

i was just stuck in that pose for like two whole minutes bc i just... was kinda shocked that it even happened lmao AAAND THENNN as a cherry on top - i could fucking hear my friends ahshgasgha calling from me. i heard them talking to someone else being all like ":oo we lost mickey we lost mickey" but i didn't have the free hands to reach for my phone eitherrrrrr ajshhgsghaghsaghsgha plss it was so ridiculous.

after i finally regained some energy lmao i dragged my ass outside into the BLIZZARDDD BTWWWW IT WAS SO FUCKING COLD and i was sat there for like 40 minutes i think. my friends came out with me dw they brought me tea and everything:3333 but yeah the whole thing was soo stupid esp since i don't puke. like ever. i don't even get hangovers lmao

13. if the whole world listened to you right now, what would you say?

FIRST OF ALLLL THIS IS SCARY AS FUCK HELLO😭😭😭 I DO NOT WANT THAT MANY PEOPLE LISTENING TO ME HASHGAHGSAHA hmmmmm but... i'd either just go for the good old "i love you" because why the fuck not orrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr i'd fucking rick roll all of you:33

33. something you are good at?

mmmmmmmmmmmm being very straightforward lmao and taking things literally. can be a bad thing but i think it's good too. i think i'm pretty good at finding solutions for the silliest problems just bc i think a bit differently than most i guess. autism<333

interview the mayor

[kimikiui]

Why You Should Vote for Hakupo

Hello. Good evening, morning, afternoon, brunch, sleepytime whatever time it is for you right now. I am here to sell my little autism creature to you. This is going to be a fairly long post so, just sit tight.

The second round of polls will not be out for a couple of hours. I wanted to reblog the post with this, BUT- I have class at 3 when the polls are released. Plus, gotta get those non Hakupo believers before they vote for anyone else, amirite?

Also the stickers used between catagories are the official line stickers by Pikomaru ➜ https://store.line.me/stickershop/product/3951590/en

Reminder; It's only Shinji sweep until its Hakupo sweep.

No, I'm not putting a section breaker because even if you don't read it, I want you to see the sheer size of this... It's an essay at this point. Let's get started shall we?

What is a Hakupo?

Hakupo Tsukishiro is a energetic and powerful masculine voicebank for Utau (and amadeusy but we dont talk abt brunnnoooo). He was released all the way back in 2010 and has had many important milestones in his 13 years of distribution. Four compilation albums, 7 voicebanks, 2,500+ fanarts (that i all have), and uses by really awesome people *points to the crowd*. That's all of you guys out there. <3

Hakupo as a character is inspired by moe, thanks Clarice. Like most moe characters, he's a bit air headed and happy go lucky person. His positive attitude is sometimes brought into original songs he's featured in, which just makes me smile- girlbosses love a good pick me up song.

Also he has a stupid little coat and pants. This is all you need to know to vote for Hakupo, but I will continue forward incase you are still on the fence.

Cool Hakupo Facts

He almost has the same exact suggested range as Miku (C3 to E5)... His is actually larger... he goes higher (C3 to G5).

The "Do Re Mi FâåÁaæ↓" incident of Christmas 2020, contact me I will elaborate further.

There is a little bit of an evil twin thing going on. Yeah. This is a win.

His genderbend design Kohaku is revealed when you turn down the brightness of his official reference sheet (he pulled a scott cawthon guys).

He hates to be called cute and have his head patted... which is cute.

Despite looks- His description says he has curly hair come on guys- LITTLE FLUFF.

By looking at his official Twitter bot, there's a few extra things we can learn about him. He is very stupid, very impatient, has a horrible sleep schedule, bad at multitasking, and can't stand still (I can elaborate more on these if asked).

I wrote a 43 page Utau cartoon pilot script with Hakupo as the main character. Shameless plug.

I also wrote my college admissions essay about Hakupo. Thanks for getting me into college Bobo!

Sick Bobo Uses

Get boboed.

What does Bobo mean to me?

I found Hakupo 7 years ago now, sitting in the middle of an Utau melody. I told myself I would just turn off my tablet and listen to the music. Yeah that worked- guess who was next after the screen turned off. BOBO! I needed to see the little creature creating this melody. I turned on the screen, and was not disappointed. Fancy twink in a oversized tailcoat with weird pants. I remember rambling to my mom later about how cool he was, why he was so unique, and why this one specifically caught my attention.

He's been my special interest since then, everyone around me knows Hakupo wheather they like it or not. He's about 80% of everything I draw, 50% of what I talk about, and 100% of my little creature I snuggle up with every night.

Literally.

I have a Hakupo bodypillow. Can't sleep without him.

Anyways, he's helped me find a lot of my best friends *coughcoughmeatcoughrevcough*, never fails to make me happy, and helped everyone around me realize I'm extremely autistic. The least I can do is write an ungodly long propaganda post while drinking my coffee at 9 am.

Stan Bobo Oobieero.

Hakupo Memes for Propaganda

GO VOTE FOR HAKUPO ON @utaupoll AT 3 PM EST

Thanks, have a nice day.