#i was so high

[integrationslady]

Got my first pair of bifocals yesterday. And of course they came at a time I need to dye my hair, like I'm trying to look old. Anyway, some advice for those of you who don't yet have bifocals; when you put them on for the first time, try to remember to be sober.

[cinnamoncatto]

MS paint zaza doodles

[total-dxmure]

hey babe, are you okay?! that edible story is crazy

hey! yeah, i’m fine cutie. i’ve eaten a lot of edibles in my time, but i ate an entire chocolate bar thinking it was just a sweet treat in her kitchen. i was cooking her dinner and decided to snack on something. imagine my surprise when she hit me with the “brother… where’s the chocolate?? i set it down right here.”

the terror that consumed me cannot be put into words. hahaha. greening out is wild. it’s happened a lot in my life, so it wasn’t too scary for me. thanks for asking angel! it’s hilarious looking back at it.

[flashbackonyourbehalf]

Normally I don’t let people take pix of me bc I hate seeing that I look as fat and disgusting as I feel but my mom somehow made me look so goddamn cute post-op and idk I don’t think I hate myself so much anymore. After all I got spinal surgery and handled it like a champ and like. look at me, badass but so soft and squishy and zooted

[ithinkhesgaybutwesavedmufasa]

You know you've found a fuck buddy you can vibe with where after you blow each other's backs out reverse cowgirl style, you cuddle and get high and he shows you this string of videos he found about a religious cult.

[fenikorg-talks]

HAZBIN MAFIA AU BECAUSE I CANT FUCKING STOP THINKING ABOUT IT RRAAAAAHHAHAAHHHHHHH

OK FIRST THINGS FORST: HUSKERDUST

Angel was a model and a part-time actor when he got himself in big debt and met the wrong people and said the wrong thing in front of a mafia leader without noticing, and now to pay for all the horrible things he had done in the past he becomes Valentino’s little whore.

His latest mission was to infiltrate Alastor’s domain, another mafia leader whom Valentino’s been fighting with for longer than Angel has been alive. With his disguise expertise and flirting abilities he climbs to the top very fast, but before he manages to get closer to Alastor, he’s sent to the 1st division, under Alastor’s right-hand man and hitman Husker. Husk is very wary of him and Angel decides to win him over to finally meet Alastor, spoiler: he ends up growing feelings for him. 

Husk had always been on the wrong side of the law, and he’s found by Alastor one rainy night after offing an entire gang, Alastor pulls a few strings and somehow Husk owes him his life, so he becomes his most loyal dog. He’s the first to know about his plans and the one to decide who’s loyal to Alastor and who's not. He also has a lot of liberties that no other division captain has, such as Nifty or Frank. They’re ruthless but reckless, and Husk finds himself nannying children. 

OFF WE GO WITH THE OTHER PEOPLE INVOLVE IN THIS STORY YEY

Alastor took control over the gang after former mafia leaders Lucifer and Lilith Morningstar disappeared without notice, and has been climbing his way to the top at light speed. He and drug dealer Rosie go way back and she provides for his gang, she’s very impartial when it comes to business, but she will always have a space in her heart for Husk, so Alastor most of the time sends him to deal with her since he has so much work to do. He has a grutch on Valentino just for the sole reason he doesn't like how he dresses.

Valentino is the owner of countless whorehouses, warehouses, and menageries, he’s also a source of money laundering. He has a lot of deals going on with Rosie and Carmilla. Currently, his gang is the most influential in town, and he wishes to keep it that way, but Alastor keeps taking control of a lot of terrain.

Vox and Velvette are cops working under Adam’s command, but they have a contract with Valentino, this is the reason he always comes clean. Unbeknownst to the others, Valentino constantly thinks about offing them any time, Velvette has a reassurance contract with Carmilla and works for her as a spy in the police, and Vox is being blackmailed constantly by an unknown force that holds him back from pulling strings and actually shot down every gang in the city. 

Carmilla and Zestial work together as leaders of their own gang. They do a lot of things in the outskirts and deal with weaponry, drugs, and poisons. Also torture. Vaggie is under Carmilla’s protection and is a killing machine without emotions. She’s feared by everyone in the city, and Alastor tries to buy her every time he gets the chance. 

Adam is the captain of the police district but he doesn't do his job right, so the commanders and officials don't know what the fuck is happening in Hazbin City. 

Lute is lieutenant, she’s Vaggie's cousin but will never admit it and Vaggie doesn’t know this, so on Lute’s search of clues about the gangs, they fight a lot. 

nahhaha this is what i got

[puppyeared]

filipina miku!! my mom helped me with her outfit ^_^

[modmad]

hey! there's zero esims left for the connecting gaza campaign as of today. i remember you promoting them earlier. could you give them a much needed boost?

oh dang! unfamiliar with that particular campaign, as I always donate via crips for e-sims because it's super easy to do, but regardless let's go people!

[vibratome]

[noperopesaredope]

I wish we had more female characters like Eleanor Shellstrop. One of the most unlikable people you've ever met. Read a Buzzfeed article on most rude things you can do on a daily basis and decided to use that as a list of goals. Makes everyone's day worse just by being there. Dropped a margarita mix on the ground and tried to pick it up, only to get hit by a row of shopping carts which pushed her into the road where she was hit by a boner pill delivery truck, killing her instantly. Cannot keep a romantic partner despite being bisexual. Had a terrible childhood but will die before she gets therapy. Best employee at a scam company. Just the worst but also can't help but root for her to improve.

Absolute loser. Girl-failure. Bad at almost everything. Literally perfect female character.

[littlelightfish]

Funny things I found out playing with language setting in Netflix while looking episode 15:

Chilchuck's scream sounds HAUNTED in brazilian portuguese. Give it a try if you can.

(You can hear it here)

In spanish dub, Senshi says: "tocó mis senos de hombre", which means "he touched my man boobs" in Spanish. And I think that's the best dub line one so far.

[monophobix]

lesbian situationship vs gay situationship

[slightlyartist]

Tate deserves to punch Ford so I drew it, felt really therapeutic <3

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Must be a Sugondese joke.

[dilfslayer1080p]

"he died for our wins" - 2024, LIDL Oil paint on LIDL canvas

[urmumhaha]

I wish butch n femme balls existed. Not to b a fucking sap n a massive dyke but wow. Ugh even. Just wanna wear a gown n stilettos n have my honey greet me w a bouquet before we leave n we wear matching or complimentary jewelry n spend hours on my hair and makeup to impress. N then when we get there my honey will spin me around the room for a brief dance before grabbing something to drink, wine for me n whiskey for her, as we chat w other dykes n celebrate butchfemmeness. Or whatever