#i was just trying to pass out samples!!😭😭

[gamma-gal-24]

I just know Johnny would have beat the snot out of the old fart that followed me around at work the other day and that makes it just a little better I think.💖

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

tamashina mina/cloudcalling on the savanna — missed opportunity

Since this event will be rerunning in the JP server this month, I wanted to share something I felt the event was lacking. (Well. Besides the things I already mentioned here—)

There’s a section of the event dedicated to exploring the markets and sampling local cuisines. I don’t take issue with this since it’s a staple of any hometown event. However, I think that it’s a shame we didn’t get any unique interactions between Leona and the NPCs in the market. Supposedly Leona isn’t well-liked or acknowledged in a positive manner by his people, so it would have been nice to see it portrayed more prominently on-screen. Maybe the vendors and other customers don’t necessarily go out of their way to insult him to his face, but maybe they’d be whispering amongst themselves or side-eyeing him (something which the other students notice) as he passes.

The framing of the purchases implies that Kifaji is the main person going around buying food for us to try. Lilia, Vil, Kalim, and Yuu/Grim also shop around for souvenirs. The NPCs are, for the most part, not directly interacting with Leona (save for that time he gets annoyed enough to get away from the group and buys some candies to eat grumpily by himself). This would have been the perfect time to overhear the vendors and customers gossiping about Leona. It would show us how his people feel about him, not just what the palace servants feel (as we saw in his post-ON flashback). It would give us a better understanding of what kinds of comments the people make about him even to this day, how that wears on him mentally and emotionally.

And what if Leona walks in on that kind of gossip??? I want to see how he’d handle it… (I don’t see him getting mad but instead reacting with a sarcastic quip or fake politeness to remove himself from the situation. Then he broods and angsts and doomposts about it later in private 💀)

While this ire obviously wouldn’t be resolved in the event itself, I think setting up this apprehension around Leona would enhance the payoff of what he does later in the event. This is especially true considering that we also had the previous year’s winners openly upset with Leona for not doing his royal duties and training them. Make it clear that Leona is on everyone’s bad side. Then when he comes through in the end and earns the respect of last year’s winners, it signals to us that—even if just a little at a time—Leona is capable of switching around the common attitude his people have toward him. It establishes a modicum of hope.

I guess maybe they didn’t want to spoil his backstory for anyone that didn’t read book 2 by the point the event ran??? But I still feel like it’s possible to write dialogue in a way that implies a dynamic or relationship without outright spilling everything. You don’t even need dialogue. Maybe just have there be a general air of discomfort as soon as the group enters the market; Vil (a celebrity who is perceptive about public opinion and how the public’s gazes linger) might notice this and ask what’s wrong, only to have Leona brush it off. (That way, we at least get the idea that Leona isn’t liked for some reason but is used to this.) It’s not like events haven’t had details that allude to main story spoilers either. For example, College Gear Ortho has appeared in multiple events such as Fairy Gala: What If and White Rabbit Fest, even though technically it is a spoiler for book 6.

bdbdbsejhfiekd I don’t know 😭 I just feel like this would have been so interesting to see more of Sunset Savanna reacting to the supposed scorned second prince… It’s sad we missed out on it.

P.S. The fact that we don’t see the public extensively react to him in a negative way makes me wonder if that negativity is the result of Leona’s own perspective twisting or exaggerating the truth. This is something I’ve already speculated on here.

[cyren-myadd]

Ok, so about Dr Karina Mogue. I think she will be the RDA scientist who will try to figure out how Spider was changed and how it can be replicated. I think she will be brought to study the results from whatever tests they'll run on him (maybe even the samples they will take) when he is captured by RDA after the miracle. I also think that it will lead her to trying to figure out Eywa - what she is and how she works.

I'm not sure if she will be evil (Michelle Yeoh was so great and clearly had a lot of fun in Star Trek in very Recom Quaritch like role) and try to use this knowledge to destroy Eywa and adapt humans for Pandora so they can replace Na'vi. Or if her work will lead her to change sides and maybe use her knowledge to save Earth instead (I'm rooting for this option).

ooh that's a great theory! With all the strange stuff leaked that will happen to Spider in A3, it makes sense the RDA would want to study it, and if there's gonna be a big focus on it in future movies it also makes sense they'd introduce a new character as the main scientist studying it. I hope she'll join the resistance too, but I bet Yeoh will be able to pull of a good villain if not!

But this just makes me scared for Spider. It's unclear how the "miracle" will happen to him, but one theory my reddit friend u/ellestra came up with is that Spider himself won't have a physical or genetic change, but rather that the sacred strands from one of the spirit trees will go inside of his lungs and act as a built in filter, filtering out the harmful gases in the atmosphere but letting oxygen pass through. Similar to how humans on earth have bacteria cultures in our guts that have a symbiotic relationship with us; the bacteria cultures get a warm, moist environment to live in and we get help digesting our food. The sacred strands will be like that, living off the nutrients in his body and filtering the unbreathable atmosphere in return.

It would be similar to what happened to Grace, when the na'vi were able to create a temporary kuru for her so she could connect with Eywa before dying. I believe u/Ellestra's theory is pretty likely, much more likely than Spider undergoing a genetic/physical mutation, cause basically his entire cardiovascular and respiratory system would have to be drastically changed to adapt to Pandora's gasses.

All this is to say is that if the RDA wants figure out what happened to Spider, they'll probably have to look into his lungs, which I imagine would involve some extremely unethical science experiments... poor Spider 😭 I hope Dr. Mogue will be a good guy and not let anything too terrible happen to him if this theory is true but we'll have to wait and see.

[merakiui]

OMG with your caption of "milkshakes at monstros lounge is about to taste 10x better with Jades secret ingredient" made me have a brain rot.

IMAGEN FXCKING FLOYD DRINK IT AND NOW WANTS IT STRAIGHT FROM THE SOURCE 😭 in that fic you said that we were first passed to Floyd but he was too bothered so we got handed to Jade. So imagen he somehow find out and now wants us in the same position that we are with Jade but with HIM.

Or Azul is also a degenerate so taking a book from Jade we go back to working for him tasting his potions that for some reason also made us lactate..

OR SOME OF OUR FRIENDS SEE/HEAR WHAT GOING ON OR MAYBE WE TELL THEM AND THEY TRY TO "help" US BECAUSE EVEN THOUGH WE WHERE ALREADY MILKED IT STARTED TO FILL UP MORE TO AN UNCOMFORTABLE LEVEL AND THEM BEING OUR BFF AND "totally not weird or have feelings for us" CONVINCE US TO LET THEM HIM. While it's either but them sucking or playing with our nipples with a bowl under to not make a mess 🤞☺️💕

OH AND IMAGEN THEY FIGURE OUT THAT THE REASON THE MILKSHAKES TASTE BETTER IS BECAUSE OF THIS AND OUR BFF STARTS USING THE MILK THEY GOT OUR FOR US FOR THEMSELVES 🤭 now they self proclaimed themself our lil helpers (or milker).

Now we can also have multiple BFF and they all help us at the same time too to get all that fullness out of us 🥰

-Yours truly, the annon that you awakened their lactation kink onces again 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩

YES YES AAAAAAA OTL

(cw: yandere, brief nsfw mentions, unhealthy behaviors/relationship, lactation, female reader, brief mentions of pregnancy)

Floyd and Azul are so incredibly fake. T-T they only want you when you start producing milk. Most fake fans ever, switching up like that… Floyd complains about how lucky Jade is, and Jade has to tell him that it was Floyd who wanted nothing to do with you in the beginning. He’s merely looking after you as you’re now his contractual obligation, though he would be lying if he said he wasn’t attached to you. He’s become rather enthralled. Jade has written the potion recipe down, even perfected it after some more trial and error (which you were more than happy to assist with) and so now he has a potion that’ll have you lactating for at most a full day. <3

Floyd’s too impatient to fill bottles and jars up, so he’ll just pull your shirt open and tug your bra up and take it straight from the source with his greedy mouth. I like to think Jade watches the both of you so fondly, so happy that his favorite people are getting along well even if you’re squirming and telling Floyd to be more gentle, to slow down, to put his teeth away.

Azul goes absolutely insane when he learns of that potion. You can’t tell me he also wouldn’t have the biggest lactation kink ever. It ties in nicely with the breeding kink. Jade has him sample some dishes made from your milk, along with a glass of your milk, and he’s easily able to tell there are notable differences. He asks if this is goat’s milk rather than cow’s and Jade smiles deceptively and says he’ll show Azul who to thank for the delicious ingredients. He brings Azul to you, where you’re currently trying to deal with your swollen, leaky tits while Floyd is doing everything he can to try to steal at least one sip. If only you could see the dollar signs in his eyes… Oh, you’re so marketable! He could definitely capitalize on this.

Now that Azul knows of this, it’s over for you. But before he decides to sell your milk or use it for Mostro Lounge dishes, he wants to touch and squeeze and fondle you. I imagine he just stares at you for the longest time because his brain is short-circuiting trying to remind himself that you aren’t pregnant; this is just the result of magic. You aren’t pregnant or filled with eggs, but you could be. You’re not pregnant. He’s never fucked you before. But what if… Azul milks you once and out of sheer instinct he places his hand over your belly and mumbles something about how he can’t wait to be a father. (pathetic tako delusions…)

Imagine they give you the potion so often that you start to lactate on your own, if only a little. Magic definitely has more of an effect on your body because you can’t use it or sense it like mages can, so it’s definitely possible it might do something to you internally. Imagine being with Ace and Deuce and you leak through your shirt and you’re so embarrassed trying to explain what’s happening and Ace is poking fun as usual, while Deuce is in shock like, “Milk comes from women?!?!?!?! The store-bought milk I drink,,,,,, came from a woman????” Deuce already had a lot of respect for you, but now he is a million times more respectful because it can’t be easy filling all those milk bottles. (Deuce, never change. You are a sweetheart.)

Ace will want to sample directly from you. He teases you a lot, squeezing your breasts just to watch the wet patches on your shirt become larger and more noticeable. Deuce thinks that the two of them should bring you to someone who can help. Ace supposes that’s fine, but before that he needs a taste. Be a good best friend and let him taste you. There’s nothing weird about it. Best friends help each other out all the time. Ace and Deuce bring you to Trey because he’s responsible and oh-so-wise, and Trey also has this moment where he just stares at you, mouth slightly agape, before he has to clear his throat and quickly act normal and relaxed and calm and level-headed. Did I mention how relaxed he is? You cannot lactate around Trey. He will want to use your milk in the sweets he bakes (Riddle’s strawberry tarts are about to be so delicious), but he’ll also want you against the counter while he fucks you against it, pretending the both of you are married and he’s knocked you up and you’re lactating in preparation of the baby. He’s so not normal about this; he’s so down bad.

The brain cell duo bring you to Housewarden Riddle and he is overcome with so many emotions. Riddle is so flustered and he snaps at Ace and Deuce to cover you while he figures out what to do next. But you know Che’nya’s probably lurking around, and if you happen to be outside and a pair of invisible hands grope you and you’re suppressing moans while milk trails down your tits…… Riddle is fighting a losing battle here. He has never been so,,,, conflicted. So acutely aware of the female form. So immersed in how you sound when Che’nya’s teasing you. Riddle wants you and your milk so bad, but he has to be polite and respectful. He will help you and after the fact he will not think about it again. He will not lie awake at night, staring into the darkness and wondering how it might feel to drink directly from your breasts. For once the Octavinelle trio have done something good, even if this good thing is the byproduct of dubious behavior.

Ruggie learns of this and you know he’s going to want in. Let him have a taste, won’t you? He couldn’t get breakfast because he was running all around for Leona. He’s parched! Likewise, Leona probably hears of it from Ruggie or he catches the gossip from his dorm members and now he’s demanding Ruggie to bring you to him. Leona’s much more composed about the entire thing. He’ll tease you a little with a cocky smirk, asking if you like being in the spotlight like this, if you like his hands on you, if you like being milked and treated like a commodity by some (Octavinelle). Leona actually handles you very gently when he milks you. He respects women and their bodies, so he doesn’t want to hurt you or cause you any discomfort. Sometimes he thinks you’re pregnant (which could also be another reason why he’s oddly sweet to you), but he quickly reminds himself that that wouldn’t be possible because if you were pregnant it would be with his child and his child only. If you point out his behaviors, he’ll gruffly tell you you’re delusional and that he’s not doing this for your sake. It’s just his means of having access to a little snack when Ruggie’s taking forever to bring him his lunch.

Though Malleus can’t sense life within your belly, sometimes he’ll think you really are pregnant when he sees you lactating and he thinks of how pleasing it would be to raise little ones with you. He visits every night, not only to see you and spend time with you, but to help should you be kept awake desperately trying to milk yourself empty. Malleus is also gentle when handling you, his voice so soft and fond when he speaks to you, praising you and calling you all manners of endearments to show you that you should not be self-deprecating or disgusted with yourself. He thinks you are absolutely perfect; this is nothing to be ashamed of, nor does it make you unsightly in any way. He’s probably kissed you while his hands were cupping your breasts. There’s something so intimate in kissing while he’s touching such a special, sacred place. Every day the temptation to sweep you off your feet and away to Briar Valley consumes him. He could build such a happy family with you. Lilia certainly encourages it.

[nishimuraazr1zzkiii]

Highway 1009 ๋࣭ ⭑ot7

༘⋆pairings: enhypen x reader

.ᐟWarnings: fluff, platonic, lots of bickering, for the story's sake, the members didn't make this song but another group did but the group is called enhypen hoped you understood that😭 also I assumed highway 1009 will be a calm song so it's kinda important to the story.

₊⊹notes: made this immediately after listening to the sample of highway 1009 at 2am, my eyes are totally not about to give up on me 😇

༄.°Sypnosis: you and your friends were celebrating your birthday on october 9th by going to the beach. all of them were fighting for the radio for who gets to choose the music. You stopped their bickering by picking your favorite song, Highway 1009.

You feel yourself leave your dreamworld because of the loud voices. Still feeling tired, you don't hear what they were fighting about but you hear the word 'music' you instantly knew that they were fighting about the radio in the car.

"Oh y/n, You're finally awake! We were just about to wake you up since we need to stop by since we wanted snacks, but 'someone' had to bring up about changing the music since 'it wasn't his cup of coffee' I swear to God, if Jake keeps yapping about the new artist he found on tiktok I will actually pull the Australian accent out of him. " staring at from the passenger seat, heeseung whispered the last part but you heard it all, looking at him with an amused smile while he tightens his grip on the steering whee in annoyance, probably because of jake.

You lean back on your seat, watching the trees, and buildings you pass by, trying to distract yourself from falling back asleep, you checked if you had your phone on you, luckily you did so you entertained your self with that.

You hear someone from the very back of the car fighting with another person as they argue back and forth on who gets to choose the music. "I should be the one to choose! This artists songs are literally so good! " the person, who you assumed was jake, tried reasoning with the other person, you assume is jay, to get him to choose the music.

"Jake, you keep repeating that, and plus it's my turn to choose the music! " you could hear jay slowly getting more annoyed as he argues with Jake.

"Hey, isn't it my turn to choose the music? " another voice chimed in to their bickering, who you assume is riki. "What? No! It's my turn to choose" both jay and Jake say in unison, looking back at each other and was about to continue but jungwon was reach out to touch the radio, this caught jays eye.

"Hey, jungwon! It's not your turn to choose!" Jay shouted at jungwon while jungwon looked like a cat that was caught doing something bad. "You guys keep bickering on who gets to choose the music. I'll choose it so there's no more arguments! " jungwon let out a sigh and tried to reach out for the radio again, but was stopped by sunghoon. "Woah there jungwon, why don't you just sit down and let me change the music" sunghoon put his hand on Jungwons chest to avoid him touching the radio, he also tried to reason with him so he can change the music.

Heeseung, sunoo and riki were the only quiet ones. sunoo was asleep next to riki, leaning on his shoulders which made riki quiet so sunoo could sleep and heeseung was focusing on the road. You just kept your self busy with your phone, not wanting to listen nor join in on their bickering.

Exiting from the app that you were using, you contemplate whether you should open Spotify and join in their bickering or just do something else. Choosing the first option, you opened spotify, typing your favorite song, Highway 1009, you held your phone in front of them. "I'll be choosing the song and don't even try to argue with me. " you announced loudly so they could hear you over their bickering.

"Highway 1009? Haven't heard of that. " jungwon looked puzzled since you always chose songs they knew. "They just uploaded this today and I listened to it before we left and fell inlove with the music, and they said they made this on October 9th last year! " you rambled since you were so excited since they made this on your birthday and released it today.

"Sure, let's hear it! y/n always has the best music taste. " Heeseung backed you up , immediately securing that you could pick the music and not eveyone else.

Whines and groans filled the car but they couldn't complain since it was your bithday. Connecting your phone's Bluetooth to the radio, you immediately played highway 1009. As soon as the song started, jungwon and heeseung perked up, and everyone followed suit.

Once the song hit it's halfway point, you started to feel yourself become drowsy, the song lulling you to sleep, the car gently rocking back and forth, and the muffled chattering, you felt like an I can't getting rocked to sleep by their parents. Just as the sleep was pulling you into dreamworld, a smile tugged on your sleep as your last thought was how happy you were even though the fun hadn't started yet but just having the company of your friends with you on your birthday gave you the warmest feeling.

Permanent taglist: @thelost-in-time

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[tua-five]

Season 3 Episode 9

⚠️⚠️ s3 spoilers ⚠️⚠️

Definitely thought today was episode 8.. and now I'm scared because it's closer to the relase date...

It makes sense though because I was literally just thinking, how could it be episode 8, I don't remember there being that much left. Then again, I was kind of waiting for the sigil and cockroaches since episode 1, so.

Okay, starting off, it was really just... (there's a word I want but can't remember and I keep using sad, but I don't want to use the word sad because it's deeper than that, but that's all I can think of right now) sad that Luther created all of those reports and samples for nothing. And he had a picture of his siblings. Minus Viktor. Both of those are just so depressing.

It seems I forgot a semi important detail. I used to wonder why Luther or how Luther didn't discover Abigail because through all of his 4 years stranded on the moon, surely he would have stumbled upon her. But no, because there was a geo fence, so he couldn't pass that point.

It's simply amazing how Ben has "ASSHOLE" written on his back.

And Five's speech 😭

Wow... how naive I was... Allison just magically going from absolutely terrible to in the morning apologizing to everyone. And I believed it.

We don't talk enough about Five sitting at the edge of the world. He's just watching the world he spent a whole straight month trying to save just wither away. Because he's done. And when reginald comes out he knows exactly what he wants. Because it's Sir Reginald Hargreeves. And he always will be. No matter what timeline. So he immediately says no. Because he's so done. He's tired. He's exhausted. And he's lived way too long.

And of course, when he says he wants to be alone, Reggie sits anyway.

Oh. And he just straight up tells him. Well, not necessarily straight up. But he says that you never forget your first love. He says he didn't do enough to save his first love. And that he hopes the kids can help him with that.

He can't forget Abigail. He never will. He couldn't save her. She died, and he put her on the moon to try and one day bring her back to life. And now he's using Project Oblivion to bring her back.

They're all so cute for clapping when Five comes. And mentioning the speech. And he defends himself, "It was the booze talking. In the light of day, you're all still deplorable." Sure, Five. You think they're all bad. I'll believe that. After, you know, spending 28 days trying to stop the apocalypse so you can save them and being stuck in one for 45 years to get back to your family.

I hate knowing that Allison is the one who made the deal. And that the whole "I'm sorry" speech was bs. I mean, some of it has to be real. You can't just pull that out of your butt in desperation. But still.

And Allison saying "We've all lost people." And flipping looks towards Five and says, "Mannequins..." 😭😭 stop. Stop. Actually stop. Because I CAN'T 😭

"I saw the future. And it told me to sit this one out. I vote stay." Yeah. Yeah, I vote stay, too.

I honestly... don't know. I can't know if I like or dislike Allison. I can't know if I like or dislike Reginald. I am, however, starting to understand them more. They are both fighting out of love. And I can respect that. But their actions... not so much.

Like Reg killing Luther. "There's an old saying, Luther. The best way to bring a family together is at a wedding or a funeral." Yeah.. we're familiar. The funeral in the very first episode of the show. The wedding just last episode, and now. You've killed your own son.

Klaus is like, "Come on, what are you waiting for? And Five is so pissed. He knows Reginald killed Luther, but the kugelblitz is right there, and he has to go through. "This isn't over!" It never will be.

"You're just more trouble than you're worth."

For fucks sake Reginald!! You're killing everyone!!!

And Klaus kills himself on the white Buffalo either because he wants to go out on his own terms or because he doesn't want to be gone forever. He'd rather die where he can live in the afterlife. See his mom. Luther.

Your gifs! I can't find a majority of the ones I want.

[b4mpyre-k1zz3s]

can u make one about maybe telling bam you’re pregnant??😭🙏

Y/N Tells Bam She’s Pregnant HCs!

Bam Margera X Fem!Reader

Warnings: None!

An: Thank you for the request!! I’ve noticed a trend recently with a lot of baby related requests XD Bam has a tendency to get carried away with whatever he gets into, so I don’t think raising a child would be any different!

Bam doesn’t know what to say

I mean, what man does when his girlfriend tell him she’s pregnant?

“Wow. Wow. I mean…wow.”

He stumbles over his words for like a solid minute in disbelief before asking if you’re really sure it’s his

When you tell him that yes, not only is it his but you also want to keep it, the only thing he can can come up with is,

“A-awesome…?”

The thing is, despite his usual antics, Bam can be a pretty sentimental guy, especially when it comes to you, so even though you thought it was sorted and done, he was still processing it

Until that evening you caught him playing some skateboarding video game in the living room after all his buddies went home

He doesn’t notice you standing behind the corner, so it’s totally genuine when he passes the game and sits back with this sorta bewildered smile on his face.

And he murmurs to nobody in particular, “I’m gonna be a dad.”

The following months were filled with Bam tending to your every need

Sure, you liked it when he made sure the castle was stocked with your favorite foods or massaged your feet, but it was a little excessive

You waited until week three of breakfast in bed to say anything. Digging your fork into the fluffy French toast your boyfriend told you he made but you could obviously tell it was April’s cooking, you laughed, “You know, you could really ease up on it. I’m pregnant, not dying!”

Still, he wasn’t discouraged

One day, Bam surprised you with a custom baby inside he got made- black with a hot pink heartagram on it

He held it up proudly, “He’s gonna look so awesome in this!”

When you asked how he knew it would be a boy, he said it was just father’s intuition

“Plus, if it’s a girl, it’s got pink on it!” Well he had a point.

Don’t even get me started on names

You know he would suggest Ville, and there’s no way in hell you would benaming your baby after some Finnish rock star your boyfriend was obsessed with

And when you go shopping for baby stuff Bam insists on trying everything out

Even if they don’t offer samples of baby food, he will be asking for them because,

“Our kid deserves the best, Y/N! If I wouldn’t eat it, he’s not gonna eat it either.”

Evidently, he didn’t like anything he tried expect those puffed rice snacks so he bought as many as he could fit in his arms (and he will 100% eat them all before the baby is actually born)

The soon to arrive baby was giving Bam a bit of a crisis of conscious

You assumed the whole wearing a tie with his usual blazer and t-shirt combination was some Avril Lagvine fashion thing

And you didn’t mind him spending fewer nights out at the bar with his buddies and the decrease in trips to the ER

But when he brings up selling the lambo for a ‘more reasonable car’, you put your hands on his shoulders and took a deep breath

“Bam, I love you, but there is no way in hell I’m letting you sell that car.”

That’s when your boyfriend admits to you that he has no idea what he’s doing

You could tell

[regaliasonata]

I could've sworn someone asked me for Katherine headcanon but I can't find it in the inbox sadly...

Katherine Hillard Headcanons

-Katherine's favorite passtime honestly revolves around collecting things, mainly after becoming a ranger her interest peaked on the mysteries of the world so now her curiosity is unlimited.

-Both her and Kimberly have found ways to split the pink powers via the Thunder and ninja zords of their respective colors thus putting Zordon's research on too much pink power to a rest. However they still try to keep things to a minimum.

-Because of the phoenix properties of her zord Katherine has found good usage of bringing life to plants, she doesn't mind volunteering at an orphanage and with her abilities she's able to secretly make sure none of the kids starve.

-After Zeo she's had a hatred of Artifical Intelligence and Tommy had to keep her from smashing up all the appliances in her house.

-She hates the moon.

-Pink isn't exactly her favorite color, in fact Kat was offered the position as zeo red in secret by Tommy but she declined it.

-After the Zordon Era pretty much everyone went their separate ways for a while and similar to Tommy she found herself becoming a mentor for a group of younger rangers. A team based on constellations who each had a secret archery motif, she later became a red ranger for the squad and needed to have a master morpher developed as things when on(Referencing Kyuranger, free real estate for them😎).

-Katherine and Tommy took a break around the time of Lost Galaxy and didn't get back together till around Operation Overdrive. During this time however she actually dated Hayley Zitkor and throughout that time span Kat didn't find out that Hayley and Tommy knew each other.

-she's been visited around five times by master pink. Reasons are unknown however it's getting creepy so Katherine managed to put a bunch of net traps around her house incase MP decides to pop in randomly.

-Katherine is one of the most skilled individuals when it comes to shooting guns. Not just that but she's been developing weapons for herself incase another Rita problem shows up, double tap that bitch in the head if you have to. She has to be strapped both for her safety and for her friends(Reference to @skyland2703 headcanon from a while back👍🏾)

-her favorite weapon is a crossbow like sniper rifle called Artemis and it has the power to penetrade 40 zords with one bullet. Due to her sneaking around during Forever Red and collecting pieces of Serpentera she was able to use the samples to make the perfect failsafe agaisnt drastic situations.

-Her house is laced in grid vortex bombs, if anything ever happens then she can wipe an enemy of the face of the map.

-Kat's the dude in her relationship with Tommy if you catch my drift😭

-It's not she's capable of getting revenge but more of the idea of her making you regret your decisions in a subtle way. A guy stood Billy up so Kat decided to scratch the guy's car paint and burst his tires.

-In her will when she dies she wants the team to spread her ashes in space or even find a way to bring her back for another 5 years.

-After hearing about the existence of other dimensions Katherine has a contingency plan. If things go to shit then there's other places to find a life in, heck she'd also consider the future or the RPM verse.

-Kat doesn't really talk about it but she has trouble having kids with Tommy. Heck JJ was came 7 amounts early and doctors weren't sure he'd make it so she stayed by his little bed in the hospital for weeks until he was healthy.

-She made sure to tell Tommy not to pass on any of their ranger abilities to JJ. Mainly as their own legacy should be there to influence him, pass on an opportunity for him to build his own choices if he does decide to pursue ranger activity.

-Kat was thrilled when JJ came back from school shouting about wanting to be the pink ranger after seeing a cool video on these heroes called the power rangers. Tommy was uh...well he's supportive but he just didn't want to see his kid being made fun off and tried to lean him to another color but Kat shut that down, both of them came to an agreement that he could be pink.

-She replaced her left arm and right leg with advanced robotic versions resembling regular limbs but this was because she wanted standby weapons to shift out incase of combat.

-People in the ranger community consider her a harbinger of sorts because of her battle prowess and wouldn't back down to beating someone bloody for threatening her family.

-Kat loves a lot of rock and roll music as well as things with a fast tempo.

-She's the one which a driver's license, Tommy's has been suspended after he accidentally backed into an old lady think she was a trash can for parallel parking.

-Zordon having the rangers choose Katherine, Aisha, Rocky and Adam as secondary choices weren't out of coincidence. Centuries ago he tried recruiting their ancestors and secretly kept an eye on them, however at the time humans weren't adept to the grids influence and they became prone to natural exposure and got pretty sick, this was around 10,000 years ago anyway and while Katherine doesn't have much of a grudge against him she isn't hesitant about wanting to shoot that tank.

-Kat is very bisexual, Tommy wasn't exactly her first choice relationship wise and even considered dating Kimberly or Tanya though she's chill with the dude.

-Tommy's dating life honestly confuses her, he dated Kimberly and had a thing with Jason(Frankly that didn't surprise her as she got a bit of fruity vibes from Tommy and thought he was full on gay before being alerted that he dated Kim). Then he dated Anton and had her suspicions on what Tommy was into when she found a picture of him tied up in....compromising positionsBottom. Safe to say for gatherings she has the best stories to tell.

-Her parents very much support the idea of her being a power rangers and her dad keeps asking if she has parties with other rangers....also to get zord figures and autographs from the Lightspeed Rescue team.

-After Adam's mishap with his power coin being damaged she decided to utilize what she learned from the Crane Ninjazord and Firebird Thunderzord to pursue learning things at the Wind Academy and Pai Zhua academy to hone elemental and animal spirit abilities. She gained light related powers along with the spirit of the phoenix, fitting for combat as she can obliterate enemies with swift speeds and vaporizing energy.

-She loves dating dudes that are a tad bit strange or shy, they're just adorable in her eyes. Prime example being Tommy, not sure if he should be offended or flattered by this.

-She watches My Hero Academia and has a great admiration for Bunny's persistence.

-Katherine despises barbie dolls but JJ enjoys getting them as figures for imaginary adventures so she allows for him to have them but the minute one begins moving on it's own she's going to shoot that bitch into oblivion.

-She's an expert with hair and easily takes care or Tommy's locks when needed. It's funny to tie it into a bun though the fact that it's almost waist length makes Katherine jealous.

-due to her powers she developed a way of being able to precisely chuck items and projectiles without even touching them, similar to Diego in Umbrella Academy. This is very useful as she won't need to morph if needed and could drawn weapon from a vault she keeps at home.

-After Trini's death Katherine had to oversee Billy in fear that he might shut down due to all the guilt. She knew well on the topic of the only person who truly understood you in the world was gone and even offered a place at her home incase Minh needed somewhere to stay.

-The reason why Master Pink visited her was because of Shattered Grid almost happening again. She explained to Katherine that no one remembers the event as it was a multiverse related conflict of the past so when things ended everything went back to normal, she tasked Kat will trying to keep things from ever ending up as such. This nearly happened in various ways from Billy trying to bring back Trini or Zordon, a huge Zord fight within Angel Grove, having a rogue being nearly disrupt time and space as we know it. Kind of a crazy burden to leave on someone, honestly she couldn't look at Tommy for 4 weeks upon learning about Drakkon.

-She's not the most religious person but she swears that during a trip to the dentist she was visited by an archer deity. Aisha calls her delusional for this but Kat knows what she saw.

-Stocks are a big thing for her and she even has built up a reputation at wall street. (Kat: I can buy and sell you. Stock broker: Excuse me?)

-Katherine has the falcon zord and uses it as spatial transportation. Mainly to take JJ on trips to see the stars etc, it's also a nice getaway from all the stresses of life.

-At one point in her life Katherine considered becoming a hit man against terrible people with her archery and gun skills...though she's never told anyone this. The idea of taking a life away has crossed her mind here and there, however she goes to Dana for therapy on these feelings.

-Tommy is the cook within the family, he learned how to make a bunch of meals well when he was with Jason. Plus after Katherine nearly burned down an acre of land from their house one night she wasn't allowed in the kitchen for months, she finds it funny coming from the guy who dedicated a semester of his career on trying to remake dinosaur meat from bones.

-Katherine has a sort of ranger secret service for herself that not even Tommy knows about. Laced around the place like regular civilians ready to come to her aid.

-She visited the Mystic Mother and human Zedd just to weigh out the situation between them incase anything happens.

-Considering the last headcanon Katherine wonders if the Z-Wave killed all the evil beings within the universe she wonders if any of those beings that were evil consisted of beings that Zordon considered bad, the thought of some innocent people being killed all those years ago or being brainwashed keeps her up at night.

-She is really wondering if all the stuff during the Zordon Era was truly good. Having to fight an eon long war for a floating head against a bunch of crazy beings doesn't sit right with her, in some ways good and bad are basically moral constructs and she doesn't like to judge people on the way they act. Evil rangers, good rangers, the fact about Drakkon who existed in a past existence also bugs her....sometimes she wonders if JJ will end up doing something crazy as a ranger.

-Death doesn't really scare her but if anything Katherine would like to keep her memory alive, something that JJ could possibly look over in timed when he's sad or down in life.

-Utilizing grid archives Katherine can watch other teams in different dimensions like shows. For instance super sentai and such, currently she's on Dairanger and the minute she saw those zords....(Kat: That bird looks famil-AYO WHAT THE FUCK?!)

[longeyelashedtragedy]

get to know me tag from @heffer-wen this is a good one!

tagging: @perfectpiety @echthr0s @colorsofmyseason @kvaradonaa @protect-daniel-james @thundercrack @arsenalgbt @steeple-sinderby-wanderers @lamperry4ever (this is all optional of course!!!)

1. Do you make your bed?

I only properly make my bed when I change my sheets, but I can't stand to have the bed looking janky when i come home, so I wrestle with my thicc blanket until it's decently even and neat on the bed, and if the pillows have gone wild I'll straighten them out a little. if any of my over 9000 stuffed animals are on the floor I'll pick them up of course.

2. Favourite number?

24! my birthday, and a nice solid good number, can fit lots of other numbers into it. 17 has been an Important number for my bff and me, and I have a religion based fondness for 18...but 24 it is.

3. What's your job?

my job is very cool and specific and I love it, but it's not one I would ever want to mix with my online persona for various reasons. in fact I've always worked in an "industry" that I think should never mix with my nsfw ways on here. always happy to talk about it in private!

4. If you could go back to school would you?

oh hale to the FUCK no. I hate school. I haven't liked school since I graduated high school. my brain can't be made to think like that and do so much work to other people's specifications--and then there's sitting in class and having to listen to other people talk, I couldn't give less of a shit if I tried! I'm a voracious self directed learner--I want to learn something new like, every second--but this doesn't translate well into a school setting.

unfortunately--a job I think would be really cool to have, I'd have to get a master's and certification, and while I think I'd be great at the job, I'd be right shit at the kind of work the degree requires you to do to pass. (I could easily do the job with good mentoring and maybe like...one course, but that's how so many things are.) Maybe if I marry rich I'd go back! Frank lampard step the fuck up!

5. Can you parallel park?

I could do it just to pass my driver's test and have done it like. twice since. I'm terrible 😭 I have visual-spatial-perceptual whatever deficits and just can't do it. I also have a spot missing from my peripheral vision on my left side so parking on that side is even more confusing. my sister however is great at those things and yet she also can barely parallel park, you should see the two of us try to do it together, it's a full on yakety sax comedy. the WORST is here in the city, people stop on the street and give you unsolicited advice while you park and this gives me so much anxiety that I can't even remember what to do.

6. Do you think aliens are real?

not really? I suppose there's sentient life somewhere but is it likely to be humanoid? I'm terrified of space (I'm one of those would rather go to the bottom of the ocean than outer space freaks) so I try not to think about it

7. Can you drive a manual car?

what to heck,,,,,,,,,,,,of course I can't 🇺🇸 shamed by having to pay more to rent an automatic when I've driven in Europe

8. Guilty pleasure?

disregarding my dietary restrictions? I also have the bad habit of reading what scents my hot favs wear and then buying cheap samples. today one arrived that I forgot I'd ordered so now my wrists smell like chanel allure. I'm indifferent? it smells like Ladies' Perfume

what else...idk, I'm not too guilty about my pleasures really

9. Tattoos?

none--I have a couple of ideas, but have never been tempted to actually do it?

10. Favourite colour?

black and pink!

11. Favourite type of music?

I like things that are loud and repetitive and insistent. sometimes screechy. I like listening to other languages. my favorite instrument is the bagpipes (how do I say that in a grammatically correct way ffs) if that helps! will always go for: good rap/hip hop, 80s thrash metal, eastern european/balkan folk music, techno (the darker and more berghainy the better), other weird electronica, the beatles, most things that came out of the 80s

12. Do you like puzzles?

the kind with pieces? those are fun, I just don't have any room to spread one out. other kinds, like logic and shit, absolutely not, my brain doesn't work like that at all

13. Any phobias?

insects, and the main one: food contamination, but not the kind you're thinking--I definitely am more anxious than the average person about the food I eat being contaminated, but what the phobia actually is is more like...places where food shouldn't be being contaminated by bits of food...It's very specific and I've always had it but it's getting worse as I get older. like, imagine if you go into a restaurant and there's a couple of crumbs on the chair, or like, a bit of dirt on the underside of the waiter's tray. you'll just brush them off, right? or like, just not care about the bottom of a tray? I feel sick to my stomach and my heart is racing a bit just imagining this. what a privilege!

I'm also fucking terrified of being alone in elevators, but I'm not sure if that counts as a phobia? (I'm afraid of getting stuck in one by myself--as long as there's another person in there I don't care lol)

14. Favourite childhood sport?

swimming was my only one--I begged for lessons, started young, and was pretty good, did a swim team and everything. otherwise I am horrible at sports--I can't run (never could), and have no hand-eye coordination (did some occupational therapy at age 18 but it was Too Late), and again, those visual perceptual spatial issues! I wasn't terrible at floor hockey and volleyball in gym class I guess. footy was my worst 😭 in 8 years of gym I scored one goal--an own goal

15. Do you talk to yourself?

Not really.

16. What movies do you adore?

hmmm...I am not a huge movies person, but here's a list:

mulholland drive

mary poppins

the producers (mostel/wilder, 1967)

willy wonka & the chocolate factory (gene wilder version ONLY)

little miss sunshine

moulin rouge

cabaret

my cousin vinny

run lola run

y tu mamá también

the sound of music

chicago

kill bill vol. 1

cidade de deus

diarios de motocicleta

buena vista social club (not without its problematic side, but the musicians/music is so joyous)

the wedding singer

anklaget/the accused (weird danish movie that I don't think anyone i know has heard of?)

le dîner de cons

kamchatka

imagine me and you

ghostbusters 2016 (i will DIE on this hill)

brokeback mountain

team america: world police

rear window

amadeus

the crow

the incredibles

spaceballs

a shot in the dark

airplane!

romeo + juliet

school of rock

american psycho

uncut gems

rebecca

dial m for murder

17. Tea or coffee?

coffee! please. tea makes me feel a bit sick

18. First thing you wanted to be growing up?

I wanted to be an opera singer and a "lady mover" (we moved twice in the span of like, 2 and a half years when I was little)

[werebutch]

@eucyon Oh my god tumblr ate your ask I’m so lucky I screenshotted. So mad I have to type again . Thank you so much for dis question it’s so fun and made me really think to be honest ^__^ ILYSMMMM this is long but it’s too fun

This is Lynx’s most popular album, Conspiracy Theories. I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to have a pic of lynx as the cover even if it’s silly. I really like rabbit imagery in music anyways though so I think it’s nice. I was inspired by Alice In Chains album covers and also fleshwater’s ‘we’re not here to be loved’. I tried to find a way to make it more 'gritty' but I couldn’t unfortunately 😭 I like how the title looks, like they just got a label maker and smacked it on..heheh

I imagine that this album is about relationship anxiety, betrayal, resentment, anti social tendencies, infidelity, and aliens. Probably not little green men, maybe more like the thing kind of fleshy imagery. Definitely appealing to atlas and scotch in different ways. Tool’s Undertow is a good example (off the top of my head..) of the sound I’m thinking of, so… prog? Or at least heavily inspired. I’m bad with genres heheh

im currently trying to either become okay with roadkill's name, or decide on a new one.. so im not making any album covers for them yet lol but i will post when i do..

I think roadkill would take a lot of inspo from their fave band so their style is probably heavily influenced by Lynx. Scotch adds a lot of sampling, distortion, whatever..idk I don’t make music.. and atlas is a big fan of slow tempo and bass. think its important to note that atlas doesnt play bass like a bassist in this album, he plays it more like a guitarist. kind of. hope that makes sense. I’ve always been really torn about roadkill’s genre, it’s been everywhere and tends to change. scotch and atlas’ styles would be vastly different if they were solo, so I think that’s why i am so indecisive . I think I just have to keep reminding myself that they’re in a band together, so styles would be mixed.

A part of me is like.. I think roadkill’s first album would be reminiscent of faith no more’s ‘the real thing’, or even some of Primus' stuff in some sense, plus similarities to Lynx and influences of industrial. i know thats a lot of random descriptions. I kinda think of (here’s a goofy genre for ya) sludge metal bands’ instrumental style, not necessarily vocal style... its hard to describe a band that doesnt exist. LMFAO

right now im thinking about 'the pot' by tool as a close example of roadkill.. im having a hard time finding artists that match scotch's vocal range even remotely. also doesnt help that the bands im basing this off of like tool and FNM dont exactly...fit into genres very neatly. roadkill and lynx wouldnt either. HAH. i just know it wouldnt be that high quality but definitely obvious theres a lot of passion in it. i mean this is just an album made by guys who dontknow what theyre doing. like at all. lol

Roadkill’s sound changes quite a bit their next album when seraph is involved. It becomes a lot more ummmm I guess palatable to more people? I don’t exactly know what I mean by that. Ok. LOL. I’ll think about it.. but this is around when Scotch realizes he wants this to be his job. Having Seraph helps A LOT with building a more dedicated and bigger audience, since they’re the one most willing to make changes. Plus they’re in art school, I feel like they’d have connections. So I guess roadkill would sell out in a way.

if you asked me this question a year ago i would have had a completely different answer. i wouldve probably said roadkill is pop punk or garage rock or something. i have trouble fitting scotch and atlas into a genre together. it fits scotch just fine and i think he would enjoy it, but its not roadkill.. also ive been thinking of stylizing roadkill as rdkill.. lmk wat u think.. im unsure about the name is generalHAHA. i know this is a lot so dont feel pressured to reply to everything LMAO im just thinking out loud. and drawing connections between genres that completely do not make sense. peace and LOVE<3

[carica-ficus]

"Emily Wilde's Encyclopaedia of Faeries"

08/01/2024

Reading progress: 166/315 (52%)

Read through since last update: 58

It's been a few days, but I'm still reading regularly, just in smaller chunks.

I love this book more and more with each passing page. It's got a relatively simple plot, but the execution, the style, the characters and the gorgeous atmosphere really make it stand out.

So... here's some notes:

They found the murderous and ominous tree under which the murderous faerie king is buried! So exciting! And Emily hops off to take some samples literally immediately, with no protections whatsoever! That little rascal, her! Surely this she will bear no consequences whatsoever.

I must say, I'm a little disappointed Wendell's identity is not treated as something really daunting as it should be. Yes, they live in a fantasy historical world and encounter fae on the daily. Yes, Emily doesn't really have extreme reactions like some other book characters. Yes, she had been suspicious that he was fae for a very long time. But I still think there's something missing in this whole revelation. It's played off as something... fa(e)irly normal (que: Laugh at my stupid pun here), which I find a little unrealistic. Fight me on this, I don't care.

Wendell's backstory is a little too tragic MC past™️, but I will overlook this fact because he started crying. 🥺😭

Ok, I loved the bit where he tricks Emily with the coat.

I'm not a big fan of a friends to lovers romance. They usually disappoint me with a very bland friendship that has no soul and is only set up in order to evolve into a romance. It's boring and lazy writing, and I tend to avoid it. But I really, really like the chemistry between Emily and Wendell. I like how their personalities clash, but are still similar enough to work-out. It's got a certain softness to it that really gets to me.

NOT THE LESBIANS!!!!! 😭😭

I'm a little disappointed (again) Emily decided to side with Wendell on trying to deceive the locals. Idk, feels out of character for her. Sure, she's obviously changing as a characters (in this house we stan character growth, no matter in which direction), but this seems... Off. She has just established a better relationship with everyone. She even confessed she cares about the people in the village, even though she didn't plan for it to happen. And now she's willing to risk it all for her work? I know it's a plot device. I know Fawcett used this to drive the story forward, but I don't know... It didn't feel right.

Can't a girl poop in peace? Damn.

HELLO????? HELLOOOOOOOOO???? THAT FIGHT SCENE????

"Are you Hurt?"

Screaming. Crying. Throwing up.

I'm going feral for them. I love them so much. They're such a good pair and I love their chemistry. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

And of course Emily is stupid enough not to notice his obvious affection. (But same, girl. I'm just as delusional as you. ❤️)

Also we get a little more info about Wendell. So he's a king, not a prince? Hm hm hm. I wonder if his past is connected with the story of the faerie king bellow the great tree. 🤔

I know I had some minor disagreements with some parts of the story, but they don't downgrade my reading experience. I'm having a lot of fun with this book!

[derelictheretic]

Could we have a little sample of Dusk Til Dawn? 👀(Also rip to your notes wips I am so sorry!!!)

Absolutely! I talked about it and shared a bit here but i'll share another snippet because i've been slugging through it the most recently! John pov my detested why are you so hard to write </3 (And thank you 😭 They will be missed, i'm just thankful it wasn't all of them)

The next morning John is alerted to the deputy waking by the sound of his bed creaking and their low pained groan that runs along the floorboards. He hurries to finish off what he was doing, tossing the dirty frying pan in the sink and putting the plate of what he would call a successful attempt at eggs benedict on a tray. He hums as he places a glass of juice beside it along with a fork and lastly a napkin.

He decided it best not to give them a knife for the time being, for his own safety. 

It was a spur of the moment decision to make breakfast, John didn't usually cook for himself let alone others but he was feeling particularly chivalrous this morning. And with his surprise guest in the condition they were in he thought it only polite; and perhaps his show of kindness would make them more inclined to follow his lead. 

Climbing up the stairs and heading to his room John carefully nudged the door open with his shoulder, walking in only to be immediately met with a gun pointed at him. His gun to be exact. Lovely. He forgot to take it from the bedside drawer while they were passed out, good grief he was losing his touch. He'd blame it on the mess of a night, being thrust into playing doctor had thrown him off his game is all. He would be more careful going forward.

"Good morning deputy, I hope you slept well." He greets, continuing inside as if the deputy wasn't pointing his own weapon at his head. If he played it calm and collected surely they'd understand he wasn't a threat to them right now, or at the very least stop pointing his own gun at him. They falter, eyeing him and the tray in his hand. Their brows knit together, clearly suspicious of him, but they lower the weapon and lean back against the pillows. Their body is still tense and index finger still hooked around the trigger so John keeps his movements slow and relaxed. The last thing he wanted was to get shot for trying to do a good deed.

"What are you doing?" They ask warily as he sets the tray down on the bedside table, wiping his hands on his jean clad thighs as he steps back. Giving them their space and allowing them to inspect the tray with a distrustful gaze.

"After a person loses that much blood they've usually got quite the appetite, am I wrong?" He asks, tone almost casual as he eyes their bloodied clothes and bruised skin. In the morning light their injuries are much more obvious, aside from the gash he'd stitched up the night before their skin was littered in cuts and the bruises painting their skin could almost mimic a very muddied galaxy. Not to mention the blood and grime covering them from head to toe—they'd most certainly seen better days. 

"You… Didn't cook that, did you?" They ask after a moment of eyeing the plate of what John would personally describe a very delicious looking breakfast. The deputy lowers their gun and glances at him for confirmation.

"I hardly think you're in the position to be picky about your food deputy, it's not poisoned if that's what you're thinking. I wouldn't let you ruin my sheets just to kill you in the most unsatisfying way I could imagine," John scoffs, somewhat offended they would think he'd do something so plain. They roll their eyes gently and push themself up more, tentatively reaching out and grabbing the fork on the tray. They cautiously take a bite, as if one wrong move would leave them choking and fighting for life. All the while they watch John from the corner of their eye as they slowly chew and eventually swallow; his expression remaining pleasant as he watches them. 

It was funny in an odd way, they were behaving like a feral dog brought in from the wild and given food for the first time. He'd be best to keep that thought to himself though, if only to avoid having his gun pointed at him again.

"Well look at that, you survived. Not the most awful thing you've tasted, hm?" He asks after a moment and they eye him for a second in contemptuous silence before nodding begrudgingly.

"No,"

[petnews2day]

Austin's Lady Bird Lake's toxic algae is back. Here are 7 excuses to never swim in it again.

New Post has been published on https://petnews2day.com/?p=49619

Austin's Lady Bird Lake's toxic algae is back. Here are 7 excuses to never swim in it again.

We regret to inform you that the lake is at it again. For the fourth consecutive year, a toxic blue-green algae has been found in Lady Bird Lake, a sample of which was collected at Red Bud Isle last week. This is the same algae that killed multiple dogs in 2019.

The city will spend $300,000 on treatment and lab testing to once again mitigate the problem. Beginning this week, 30,000 pounds of Phoslock — a portmanteau of “phosphorous” and “lock” — will go into multiple locations, including at Red Bud Isle and Festival Beach.

So, phew, right? Once they treat the water, it’s safe to hop back in, right? No. Never. I am here to provide a service, and that service is to say, once and for all, that no one should swim in Lady Bird Lake.

But against all reason, people are still jumping in. Is it because more than half of Austin’s pools remain closed during an extra-sweaty summer? Do they think there’s buried treasure at the bottom? Do I wish I had a third thing to self-referentially link to? 

When I moved to Austin in February 2011, just before an eerily similar apocalyptic spring-into-summer, one of the first bits of advice I got from the locals was exactly this: Do not swim in Town Lake. That they called it Town Lake and not its official name, Lady Bird Lake, means that they predated the 2007 name change. Thus, even more reason to take their advice. Unless, of course, you consider that calling it Town Lake is also wrong etymologically because this body of water is not a lake, but a reservoir. It’s a damned dammed portion of the Colorado River.

“What is Town Lake?”

— Evil MoPac (@EvilMopacATX) June 10, 2022

Now that folks are taking a dip in Lady Bird Lake, it appears that someone is forgetting to pass along this advice to the 116 or so new residents to our fair city. I’ll take the blame and use my platform for good for once. I know that peer pressure can be difficult, particularly in the summer, when the combination of pomegranate Truly and an unforgiving, mean-spirited sun could make anyone hop into the nearest body of water.

Here are some free talking points for the next time someone asks you to jump in a (Lady Bird or Town) lake.

@tashamarieball Be careful about the water you’re getting in 🤦🏻‍♀️😭 #swimmersitch #rash #austintexas #ladybirdlake ♬ original sound – tashamarieball

“I’m trying a new skin care routine and it doesn’t include parasites.”

In all fairness — and I’m nothing if not fair — swimmer’s itch can happen in any non-chlorinated pool. It just so happened in this one very recently, went viral, and looked sickening.

“I would, but I already had zebra mussels for brunch.”

Visit Austin! When we have drinkable water it only sometimes smells awful.

It may look cute and also be very tasty, but I will never find out.

Mondadori Portfolio/Mondadori Portfolio via Getty Im

“Let’s not disturb the nutria!”

These giant beaver-slash-rat hybrids apparently taste like rabbit, which I will just have to trust is true. 

“No thanks, I have warm White Claw aftertaste in my mouth and I don’t want to spoil it with delicious reservoir water.”

See above.

“I love having an alive dog.”

This is for if someone asks your dog to jump in Lady Bird Lake and expects Spot to provide an answer. Dogs can’t talk (yet), so this is what you’ll say.

“Let’s stay on top of our paddle boards, where we look extremely cool.”

Everyone looks cool on top of a paddle board, and many people are saying this. Stay warm, stay dry, stay looking chic as hell atop your board with this surefire excuse.

“It’s illegal!”

Alright, narc. Technically you’re right, though it feels impossible to get arrested for doing this thing that everyone seems to keep doing. It is “off-limits” to swim in Lady Bird Lake, but not because of pollution or parasites or zebra mussels or blue-green algae. No, no, no. As of 2017, Lady Bird Lake’s water has been given the prestigious “fair” rating. You can’t swim in it because there’s — uh — just a bunch of debris floating around in it? I, for one, feel better knowing this.

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