#i was gonna say ill talk about it more once im done but i dont think i will cuz. u might not believe it considering i talk abouy anything
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luck-of-the-drawings · 5 months ago
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OOH YEAH BABY ITS THE SURGERY EPISODE BABY!!! ME AND THE HOMIES NEED SOME NEW FACES FOR OUR NEW PLAN, AND WHO BETTER TO GET THE JOB DONE THAN THE TWO MOST EVIL PEOPLE WE'VE EVER HAD THE MISFORTUNE OF HAVING OUR LIVES VIOLATED BY? I MEAN IT WOULD BE FUNNY. IT WOULD BE FUNNY.
#jrwi fanart#jrwi show#cw blood#cw gore#jrwi suckening#jrwi suckening spoilers#vex waylin#viv waylin#MY FAVORIT EP!! HAVNT SEEN IT IN FOREVER THO BC WELL. IM BUSY. SO BEAR W ME IM RUNNIN OFF ALOTTA MEMORY FUMES#ALSO EDIT BC FUUUCK I HADMORE TAGS BUT TUMBLR FUCKEN ATE EM. OH WELL. MY DMS R OPEN IF U WANNA UNLOCK RAMBLES.#I LOVE THE WAYLIN TWINS SSSOO FUCKING MUCH IM SO!!! CURIOUS ABOUT THEM!!! WHO WERE THEY WHEN THEY WERE HUMAN? HOW LONGVE THEY BEEN ARND?#I LOVE IT WHEN PPL SAY ITS LIKE THESE TWO WERE MADE FOR MMEE BC YES!! YES!! ITS EVERYTHING I COULD EVER WANT FROMA CHARACTER!!!#I LOVE THEIR RED WHITE N BLACK COLOR SCHEME. I LOVE HOW THEYRE BOTH SO INTELLIGENT AND GENIUS N YET THEYRE DUMB AS FUUUUCK#COOOMICAL SUPER VILLAINS. OOH ILL GET YOU NEXT TIME SHAMIA SHAMAI!!! HOW DARE YOU FOIL MY PLAN!! MY PLANS OF MUTILATING AWAKE N ALIVE PPL#COMICAL AND YET. GENUINELY HORRIFYING. VIV CAN MAKE UR BONES EXPLODE JUST BY THINKING ABOUT IT. VEX CAN BECOME SOUP#WHY DONT WE TALK ABOUT THAT MORE? THE TURNING INTO RED MEAT SLIME?? METAL AS FUUUCK. I ALSO LOVE HOW SCARED THEY GOT SO QUICKLY#THIS LIL FUCKEN RRRRRAT COMES IN. AND WELL. HES JUST LIKE ALL THE OTHERS. WE FUCK HIM UP N TOSS HIM INTO THE SUN N LET HIM BURN#SURE HE HAD ONE MORE TRICK OF REBELLION UP HIS SLEEVE BUT THE SUN HAS TAKEN HIM NOW. ITS FINE. WE'RE FINE. HEY IS THERE SMTH IN THE CEILING#OHHH WE KILLED HIM ONCE N HE CAME BACK. WE KILLED HIM AGAIN N TOOK HIM APART BUT THEN HES BACK?? HE GETS AWAY AND THEN. COMES BACK. AGAIN.#WE CANT GET RID OF HIM. THAT FOUL SHAMIA SHAMAI. A MOUSE IN OUR KITCHEN. FUUUUCK HES GONNA SPREAD DISEASE! KILL IT! KILL IT!! AAAUUGH FUCK!#I LOVE THAT THE WAYLIN TWINS AGREED TO HELP THE BLONDE TWINS MOSTLY ON THE BASIS OF 'IT WOULD BE FUNNY' BUT ALSO#OOHHH WE ARE SO CLOSE TO REACHING SOMETHING TO MAKE HIM NNEEVER FUCK WITH US AGAIN. HIS ILLUSIONS WILL HAUNT US NO LONGER#THEY WERE SSSOOO PARANOID W ALL THE CAMERAS AND BOMBING THEIR OWN LAB AND RUNNING AND RUNNING AND GETTING AWWAY FROM THIS FUCKEN! MOUSE!!!!#OHHHH I THINK IM RUNNIN OUTA ROOM so ill talk about da art real quick.BEEN WORKIN ON THIS FOR A WHIIILE.ALOTTA THESE were started when the#ep came out.so OLD!! BUT DONE!!and im very very happy w my colors n gore n EXPRESSIONS!! the top right corner comic keeps making me chuckle#I ALSO rly love the lil convo between arthur n viv.theyre SO CUTE TOGETHERR they should go ona museum date together or somethin#they need more time to just talk abt da World together.ALSO CAN I BE PETTY.I MADE ARTHUR UGLY CORRECT-STYLE#THESE BOYS KNOW NOTHING OF UGLY.I MADE THE VAMPIRIC FLESH EVOLVE N ROT N BLOSSOM AND THERE IS SQUIRMING WITHIN THE TENEBRAE#UHHH IEAH THIS GUY W A ROTTED N DISTORTED FACE WALKS INTO MY BIKE STORE IEAH IM SCREAAAMIN LIKE WADDA HELL!! MONSTOR!!!
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autizta · 7 months ago
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I'm so sure you being a whiny mealy mouthed do nothing but be a bitch on tumblr is REALLy helping anything or anyone too.
whats mealy, like full of meals, do i get meals, i want meals
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dragons-and-yellow-roses · 1 year ago
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#its valentines day (yesterday but i havent gone to bed yet so its the same day) so im gonna talk about my crush#i figured out its really a crush because if it was just hyperfixation it wouldve been done by now#but its been months and i still really like her so its real#anyway. we became friends during one of the shittiest weeks of my life#in a time when everything was difficult and i felt so out of my element and inadequate and altogether bad. she was kind to me#she approached me. made conversation. several times. was the friendliest any stranger has ever been#at the end of the week i asked for her number to keeo in touch. and she gave it to me. and texted#i figured the friendship might fizzle out. but she kept texting. we kept talking. she talked about her problems and her happiest moments#shes trans and like me got put into the 'only out trans person for queer kids to look up to' slot at our summer camp jobs#she once texted me at 4am about horror movies and we ended up texting until 8am#she has a guinea pig named Agnes. she dropped out of college. she joined camp staff to avoid helping her mom move#and i love all of that about her. and i wish i could say these things but i dont want to freak her out and lose one of the best friendships#but im playing the long game because. this summer she applied to the same summer camp as me. so we'll be around each other a lot more#and that kind of proximity fosters incredibly close relationships. most of the people ive dated have been from that camp because of that#so im gonna spend the summer trying to get closer. and then maybe by the end ill shoot my shot#worst case ive just gotten closer to a very good friend. im not going into the summer with the goal of dating her#just the goal of getting to know a wonderful person better. and im just very delighted to have her in my life#and have the chance to work with her this summer. its all just good and makes me happy#its one of the only things keeping me going rn#so happy valentines day everyone
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misayani · 1 month ago
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— SQUID GAME WOMEN STRAP HCS
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◜ featuring ... player 196 (bee girl), no eul (guard 011), se-mi (player 380), sae-byeok (s1 player 067) 
𔗨 author's note — didnt add junhee cos she preg and no hyunju bc i dont think she'll be comfortable w a male genitalia toy BUT LETS FUCKING GOoOO strap game hcs coming right up !! [lowercase intended]
p.s. thank u for all the reqs!! give me time and ill post my work one by one, i js have so many ideas in my mind its gonna explode
warning: smut [use of strap-on, taking pictures]
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player 196 — 
- ! PINK STRAP PINK STRAP PINK STRAP !
- sweet talker during sex but her movements are definitely the opposite of sweet
- would DEFINITELY take pretty pictures of you while you drool over her strap
- has a special album for you with pink emojis on the side <33
- slows down right before you orgasm !!!
- she makes fun of your pathetic state :(( 
- you get even more turned on ofc
- mostly just her teasing you whenever she fucks you using her strap
- sometimes she'd add fun and use a vibrator on u alongside her strap!!
- one time she wanted to test the new mascara she bought if it was really waterproof like it said on the packaging
- .... guess what ....
- she applies it on your lashes, brings out the strap and fucks u non stop til u were literally crying
- lashes stayed bomb after sex though so she took note of that ! 
- loves to edge u COS LIKE I SAID SHE'S A TEAAAASE
- after a few edging rounds she'd finally let u cum
- she's not THAT mean to not let u !!
- LOVES hearing your moans !!! sometimes she'd get off herself by just that.
- AFTERCARE !! would make u feel like a princess and im talking about bubble baths, cuddles, and sometimes would even do your nails <3
"good girl, taking me in so well" 
no eul —
- doesnt rlly care abt strap colors but i can imagine her w the skin tone one 
- prepare to not be able to walk the next day
- ABSOLUTELY MERCILESS !!!!! 
- poor baby's stressed most of the time so fucking u with her strap serves as her stress reliever
- u wont complain though, her strap game has u crying out of pleasure
- though once you've had enough and said the safe word she'd stop w/o hesitation
- DOGGY STYLE?!?![[€=€{[€
- easier for her to hit the deepest areas inside u <3
- pulls ur hair while doing it 
- DARE I SAY she has an unnie kink...
- call her that = prepare yourself for the best fuck of your life
- DONT GET ME WRONG!! she may be rough but she fucks u like she loves you
- feels relieved after sex, she's glad to have someone like u :((
- i personally think u'd actually be the one giving her aftercare
- cause she deserves all the loooove and care
- <3 
"shit— just like that, just like that."
se mi — 
- BLACK. 6 INCHES. CURVED
- im sorry but if u think she'll go easy on u well you're so so wrong
- COWBOY 
- she loves u on top cos that means she'll get to see your pretty face
- AND ur boobs ;)
- explores ur body with her hands as u bounce on her strap
- if u dont know what ur doing, she'll guide you
- such a dirty talker
- would make u feel like a slut and a princess cos she'll degrade and praise u at the same time
- fucks you like she hates you
- BRAT TAMER !! HELLO
- another edger 
- she'll edge you until you're a crying mess begging for her to let u cum :(
- "se-mi please"
- "stop fucking complaining. you take what i give you."
- se-mi has a playful personality so it's no surprise if she teases u the whole time you're having sex
- loves to overstimulate u
- she'll make u suck it after 
- would literally pound into your mouth til you cry
- aftercare w her's the best though
- she's slight of different in and out of bed so expect her to be gentle right after fucking u so roughly
"oh did you think i was done with you? we're not stopping til you squirt on my cock."
sae byeok —
- NOW she'd be the one who's gentle during sex
- her cold and stoic persona vanishes the moment she fucks you
- you'd be surprised actually about the way she's gone so soft on you
- if you like it slow, she'll go slow. if you like it rough, she'll go rough
- she just wants to show you she loves you
- making out while she's pounding into you >>
- would feel satisfied when you finally orgasm
- doesn't really speak during sex but she'd let out small praises from time to time
- she'll eat you out right after
"i love you."
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@misayani
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flovverworks · 2 years ago
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the alchstar event is gonna make me explode (positive)
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corviiids · 29 days ago
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If i ask nicely, would you consider writing the core of Light and L character like you did for Shuake? (IT'S BRILLIANT BTW!! You're so galazy brain. I love reading any meta or just silly posts you posted here <3) because you mention Light a couple time in Akechi's part and now i need to know your thought on him and L.
(Also, about the death note wip you're cooking right now, is it a oneshot or multiple chapters fic? Im super excited for it!)
i ABSOLUTELY would thank you so much for asking and for your lovely kind words. and im sorry this took me seven years to get to i just kept psyching myself out.
here's the ren & goro post this ask refers to for anyone wondering. the 'core' refers to my answer to a writing meme:
26. What would you describe as OOC? [...] it's the same approach i take to language tbh particularly in pronunciation. once you understand how a language forms its sounds at a base level, you dont struggle with the accent on particular words, and you can encounter words you've never seen before and understand how they're likely to be said/spelled/etc. so once i learn to 'speak' a character they come more naturally. idk if that comparison makes sense to anyone else but it does to meeeee all this to say i think a character is ooc if they do or say something i cant reconcile with that core!
the death note wip is a multichap!! thank you for your interest!!! ill talk about it more once i've stopped tying myself in knots plotting it!! broadly it's a what-if type au which has led me to replot an entire series from scratch dont look at me
anyway lawlight below. i will say ive been really desperately wanting to do like a video essay or something about death note which would be a lot about L and light specifically and how i interpret their characters so ill try and not go toooooo insane in this post but maybe ill go more insane later. in a video. with my human voice.
(edit: i failed i went insane)
light - one-way road to the sky
ok let's talk about one of my favourite scenes of the entire series, which i think is widely not super well understood but honestly to me holds the key to light's entire character. it's right there in volume 1
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sorry, the only digital copy ive got on hand is the scanlation. for comparison the official print copy reads:
bubble 1: hey, maki, wanna party tomorrow with some guys from s. college? ten o'clock. bubble 2: yeah, totally! bubble 3: hey, can i go too? bubble 4: my mom isn't here yet? what's that nag doing, geez! light (thinking): damn... light (thinking): start looking around you... light (thinking): and all you see are people the world would be better off without.
this happens within the first 40 pages of the first volume. and it's like. haha hey light what the fuck? this is a totally normal scene in everyday life. people are talking about living their lives. nobody's done anything remotely reprehensible in this scene. and light's just walking through the streets experiencing apparently unprompted and quite extreme misanthropy. what's wrong with him
ok let's have a quick look at the first time we meet light in the anime.
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[...]
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cool cool cool im gonna pivot again let's look at the first song (besides the overture) in the musical.
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ok rook! we get it! light yagami is out here like damn we live in a society time to kill people about it. this is news to nobody! we all know this!! that's what the series is about! why are we rehashing all of this
great. cool. awesome. let's look at all those scenes one more time. but this time don't look at light. instead let's look at the people around him
in the opening shots of the anime (after the shinigami world, which actually is much the same theme): news of brutal murder is narrated over establishing shots of tokyo. light is shown dead-eyed, going about his ordinary life, surrounded by random other civilians doing the same thing.
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in the musical, light isn't angry that murders happen. he's angry about the inaction and complicity of the ordinary people around him.
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these scenes aren't highlighting that light thinks crime is bad. we all know crime is bad. the point of these scenes is to contrast light's frustration and fury against the reactions of the people around him. here's what light yagami is seeing: we're surrounded with rot. but nobody's reacting. and then life just goes on. so suddenly all those completely normal scenes of people being concerned with the superficial details of their life aren't just normality, they're complicity. day in, day out. so the world is rotting, and to light, it seems that everyone is completely ok with that. that's just the way things are. and that disgusts and depresses him. on top of than that, it isolates him: he feels like he's the only one who sees or cares about this, that everyone dismisses him as naive, that no one else can be trusted, that everyone else is able to ignore something he sees as inexcusable. this is a sentiment he repeats again and again. it reads as arrogance, and it is, but it's also isolation - after all it's lonely at the top and just as lonely to feel like you're at the top even if you arent
can i talk about the iliad again? is that ok with everyone. im gonna talk about the iliad again
in book 1 of the iliad, the commander of the greek army insults achilles by publicly and unlawfully taking a prize (the girl briseis) who rightfully belonged to achilles. achilles reacts by withdrawing his troops from the army, dooming the greeks' campaign. achilles had a lot of friends in the army, so why would he essentially sentence them all to death for something that only agamemnon did? well, (because agamemnon did something publicly that everyone knew was wrong, and yet nobody was willing (or at least able) to stand up for achilles and stop it from happening. achilles, disgusted by the inaction of the bystanders, turned his back on all of them. fun fact i nearly wrote a mini thesis (an academic one not just a long post on tumblr) about the intersection btwn this book of the iliad and legal theory but law+classics is such a niche interdisciplinary field my professor couldnt find anyone who could supervise me so i couldnt do it. anyway that's not the point
is this right or fair? who cares, not the point. what im interested in is what that kind of behaviour says about the individual. light, like achilles, is a highly idealistic person. we all know that in the abstract, but take a second to really really dig into it, because it's actually quite an interesting fact about a character who is popularly understood as being cold and unfeeling or flatly psychotic and on a power trip. idealism isn't naivety, it's not optimism, it's not even really a happy thing. idealism is simply a firm belief in the way things should be at the cost of refusing or being unable to accept what is.
this is the core of light yagami to me. light doesn't become kira because he's cold or destructive or crazy. he doesn't actually even do it because he's spiteful or misanthropic. it's very much the opposite. he's misanthropic because he believes in the world so much. isn't that a great contradiction! ok here i'll show you some proof.
in an early scene (also in volume 1), light describes himself as an optimist and ryuk finds that interesting.
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so light is an optimist. he believes in a bright future for humanity. he wants to protect humanity. he likes humanity. no, he doesn't believe that people are inherently good, but he does believe in some goodness as a part of humanity and wants to protect the best of people, in an egotistical way:
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how do we reconcile that with a young man who walks through the streets listening to completely ordinary conversations by ordinary people and reacts by wishing death on everyone talking?
let's split out what's going on here. remember what's happening in light's head. light yagami is 17 years old. he grew up with a police chief for a father (in a fictional world where the police are the literary stand-in for law as justice so just pretend for a second that police are good im sorry), watching his father work tirelessly to fight crime - but crime continues, making this an endless, thankless task. and while crime continues, so does the world around him. every day light sees atrocities on the news, and he sees atrocities brought home, and then he lives his ordinary life and watches the people around him apparently not give a shit, only concerned with the petty details of their own little lives. bystanders watching wrong happen, selfishly unaffected. day in, day out. that idealism is getting colder the longer this unendurable injustice goes on. so achilles condemns his friends to death.
what human trait is being exhibited? realistically it's helplessness. would being miserable about crime help to end crime? of course not. people have to go on with their lives, that's a fact, it's even a strength. even light begins the series completely unable to do a thing about the rot he sees around him, which is part of why he's so depressed. but that's not what light is seeing. light is seeing ordinary people appear to choose not to give a fuck about injustice. the thing that's sparking his disgust is apathy, real or apparent. light yagami is an idealist. he wants a better future - a utopia that only he can imagine - something that can only happen if either everyone becomes as good as he is, or he takes control.
if you leave an idealist in an unwinnable situation for too long, their pure belief will start to curdle. it will not turn to realism. they will not accept what is. they will only become more and more bitter that what should be, isn't. they will become a cynicist. this is really the heart of my argument and ive made it a million times and ill make it again. idealism and cynicism are not opposites, they're not even two sides of a coin. they are two points on the same line which moves very quickly in only one direction. this is where i start when im writing him: how do i make someone who believes so hard that it's killing him? someone who believes so hard it makes him believe in nothing?
then we find the third point on that line, which someone can reach by gaining sudden power - for example, a magic notebook that kills people: radicalisation.
how do we reconcile his desire to protect humanity with the fact that what he's trying to protect against is also humanity? how can i say light loves humanity when he has such disdain for them? easy peasy: light sees himself as the messiah. my bumper sticker that says ask me about light's martyr complex PLEASE ask me about light's martyr complex i wrote a song about it ask me about light seeing himself as the sacrificial lamb on the (and then the bumper sticker cuts off)
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light loves humanity the way a twisted shepherd might love his sheep. something to be protected, but something beneath you that can't be trusted to know what's best for them. humanity is something he loves because it's endearingly pathetic, something to pity and save. repeatedly he refers to becoming kira as a personal sacrifice, something that costs him his soul but that he has to do. it's a delusion of grandeur driven by dual purposes of ego and some desperate wish to change a status quo he's been despairing about for years.
tl;dr: light believes with all his soul in something he thinks is impossible, and it's killing him slowly, and then a chance to change the world just falls out of the sky
L - isolate yourself until you can make believe it's just a game
steeples fingers. i have Things to Say about L Lawliet.
ok listen. listen. Listen. listen. are you listening? listen. in general i think people kind of misunderstand characters who are hyper-intellectual and/or behave unconventionally in social settings. you're all going to fucking kill me for this but i think there's a tendency to like... accidentally turn any character who falls vaguely in this broad category into sheldon cooper. god im sorry i feel like i just shot everyone's collective dog
specifically what i mean by that is that 'awkward' gets flanderised in a way that eventually becomes a caricature of itself, because there is so much nuance to actual social awkwardness that it's very easy to kind of pick a template and stick to it without really thinking about what makes that character 'awkward' and what the root and type of awkwardness is, unique to them. so instead we just get, like... generic big word user. generic driven by logic and logic alone guy. generic guy who doesn't Do Well with other people, for Smart Reasons.
here's a list of true things about L which i think are safe to say are uncontroversial
intuitive
logical, master of deductive reasoning
competitive
behaves in an odd way that draws attention
is aware of that fact
focuses extremely hard on his cases and only cares about being a detective not anything else
isolates himself and doesn't like talking to people partly for his own safety partly because it's boring to him
here are things i have seen in characterisation of L which i would like to dispute
makes decisions and draws conclusions based solely on logic and evidence
doesn't understand social cues
here's a list of alternate interpretations which i would like to propose and that i am willing to back up with evidence and/or by physically fighting over them
is driven primarily not by logic or evidence, but by incredible intuition which is supported by logic and evidence when it suits him
has a keen understanding of people, interpersonal relationships, and social norms
leverages that understanding frequently to his benefit
feels that he is not capable of / not a part of emotions that he sees as being typically human (see his speech about being a monster)
and yet in an abstract and self-contradictory and low-priority way still kind of desires connection, leaving him emotionally isolated
chooses to behave oddly on purpose, not because he doesn't realise he's behaving oddly, but because it is not a priority for him
those might seem like fine distinctions at some points, but stray slightly off the mark and his characterisation begins to vary wildly. for example, interpret L as being bemused or unaware of social cues, and one possible characterisation that may stem from that understanding (which i have seen) is that L doesn't understand sarcasm or jokes - which is demonstrably untrue. L demonstrates weak social skills because social skills aren't a priority for him, not because he doesn't understand social norms. after all he does a reasonably convincing 'i am a normal dudeguy' voice on at least two occasions (suzuki the information line guy and asahi the calling matsuda for drinks guy). even with the taskforce, when his behaviour is more of his usual bizarre self, he still makes the effort to treat them respectfully and meet them where they are, explaining himself when they ask, chatting with them, holding ordinary conversations. you can read this any number of ways but my point is that he can do all of this with relatively little struggle
it's also very much not the case that L doesn't have feelings or care about other people. he's ruthless and he's cool with causing people to die if he has to, but he reacts with visible distress to the deaths of the FBI agents, to ukita's death, to the prospect of other members of the taskforce dying. he does care, he's just not morally driven as a priority.
ok but if he can cosplay as Normal Dudeguy with no trouble then why doesn't he. why does he conduct all his business in dark rooms apart from the entire world forever. is it gauche to use a section of my own fic to explain my point? im going to do it anyway
It is easy to identify in Light what he has long known in himself. That little pearl of disruption, grown around an irritating grain of something just unique and tremendous enough to be uncomfortable to the more ordinary around them. L has hidden it by hiding himself. Light has hidden it by hiding within himself. L's black letter is to Light’s vapid smile is to Kira's invisible bullet.
(honestly a lot of what i have discussed here is also covered in this fic so in case this fucking three thousand word essay is not enough for you you can go read that.)
something L and light significantly have in common is that their intellect and unique way of thinking really set them apart from everyone in the world, which is incredibly isolating. but while L has the 'benefit' (arguably could be a detriment but i think he sees it as a benefit) of a unique upbringing which allows him to use his skills to their full extent without worrying about really anything else, light is very much trapped by social convention. while light's life is privileged and materially perfect, he's stuck inside what society expects of him, while L is able to exist completely outside that paradigm. the result is that light has retreated within himself and spends all day playing a part, barely tolerating the monotony and apathy of the world around him by mechanically performing as expected while smothering the part of him that never has an opportunity to truly come out until kira. L, on the other hand, has no reason to put up with a society that is, for lack of a better term, really just beneath him. so he retreats. remember that the first volume/chapter of the manga is called 'boredom'.
you can see that even in his comparatively limited interactions with the task force, he is having to exercise a level of patience to explain to them what he's thinking at every stage, to have to defend his methods, his instincts, his decisions, etc, needing to step through every stage of his reasoning so that the others can follow and won't object. this is NOT just about masking his odd behaviour, it's also very much about having to step through his morals and his process, which is second nature to him but is new to everyone else and needs explaining. it is visibly exhausting to him, and this is with people he actually seems to like well enough. eg during yotsuba arc when light and soichiro keep raising moral concerns, and he has those little "here we go again" moments (which i love SO much and are so telling of him to me) even though he doesn't let his frustration show. which is why he usually does not bother with it and prefers to work alone. he sits the way he does even though he knows it's odd, because he feels he need to sit that way. when light calls it out, he doesn't question that people will think he's strange, so he's clearly aware. he just explains himself.
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but if he were out with people on the regular, he'd need to defend himself constantly. the things L does are not conventional. yes the sitting is just an oddity of his so it's a good example, but it's not just the things that are odd that cause a problem: he frequently makes decisions which seem to make massive leaps of logic nobody else (except light) can follow, and often his actions are morally questionable or even reprehensible. all that is because L is extremely pragmatic and results-focused. it kind of doesn't matter to him how he gets from A to B as long as he gets to B. but the way his mind works is that he makes big jumps that make perfect sense to him but would draw curiosity or objection from anyone who doesn't think the way he does. it would be absolutely exhausting to have to constantly defend every strange or questionable thing he did, so he just retreats.
when he works with other people, i think it's worth noting that the team dynamic never actually struggles for L's awkwardness. this is something i really like about death note honestly - L is quirky and strange, but the series doesn't do that thing where it's like He's A Genius Of Course He's Rude To Everyone. he's actually not. for the most part, L is courteous, patient, and polite. he's sometimes blunt or abrupt, but he very rarely does the thing where he's obliviously cruel or brushes people off. he's considerate of people's needs, he's visibly compassionate of other people's emotional difficulties, and he very rarely loses his patience. when matsuda tries to tell the locked-up light about kira resuming activity, L snaps "Matsuda!" to stop him, and then immediately corrects himself to go "I mean, Matsuda-san." it would have been really easy for the series to do that tropey shit where he's so smart that he doesn't bother with politeness, but he factually does. he makes the effort to treat people politely even when he's not actually being kind. when he's asked to explain himself, the reader can see he's tired and annoyed, but he doesn't take it out on people. on the odd occasion he does make fun of someone for being slow, he does so in mostly light-hearted ways. so he is very capable of dealing with other people directly. his lack of social skills aren't for lack of understanding. he just can't be bothered. it's a waste of energy to try and behave 'normally' or to do things that other people find acceptable, whether that's due to social norm or common morality. it is so, so much easier for L to do things alone. without the need to explain or defend his behaviour to anyone, his isolation turns real world problems into something almost purely theoretical. so it really is like a game for him, at least at first.
whatever
i think it's really important for a character like L to not be fooled by the surface-level categorisation of 'smart awkward character'. we really need to find what's driving his awkwardness. it's not ignorance, it's not even really disdain, it's exasperation. he's tired of being surrounded by people who just can't keep up with him, and he does not have enough energy or interest to spend his time handholding everyone through his process, so he just does whatever the hell he wants and avoids people as much as possible so he doesn't have to deal with it.
look i know this is a really long way to say stuff that people mostly already know, but i think L is one of the most finely nuanced characters in the series because he looks like such a simple expression of a known archetype and the ways in which he subverts expectations are so granular that it's easy to completely miss them even while appreciating how interesting he is. the way this translates into how i write him is that he's polite and has a lot of patience until he simply doesn't, at which point he'll inwardly or subtly express that he wishes he didn't have to bother with this shit, that he picks up on fine social and emotional details that other people will totally miss, but that he'll always put his own whims and plans before anything else.
tl;dr: L behaves like someone who is constantly moving at his own pace and for whom dealing with people is rarely worth the effort, but this does not make him inept or unkind.
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pumpkinsy0 · 10 months ago
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tldr: @buddyaldridge is a 30 year old weirdo proshipper who talks shit about ppl behind their backs, block em and report if you can/want to
just wanna let everyone know theres a omegaverse mpreg dallyboy writer whos been an all around WEIRDOOOOO cause their brain is LITERALLY porn rotted and they cannot fathom ppl actually having fun at all, their @ is @buddyaldridge aka @pelopsides previously known as @madelynprior
in 2020-2022 the outsiders tumblr they used to be @madelynprior and theyre a hardcore dallyboy stan which is already fucking weird, but on top of that, they would make teen pregnancy omegaverse smut fics which??? and im not gonna give you the ss, nigga im givin yall the LINKKK to see it with your own eyes so you know im not crazy
how ik its them is bc on their acc RIGHT before they switched to their buddyaldridge acc, and before that acc was named “pelopides”, they used to go by “madeleinepryor”, how ik its the same person is bc on a good chunk of their post, theyd tag it as “#madeleinepryor dispatches” on top of that, they just straight up linked their ao3 acc😭😭
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heres what the link goes to, they linked their ao3 acc, they just changed their username on ao3 as well from madeleinepryor to greasers
now me calling them a proshipper isnt me talking out of my ass, they say it themselves like ughhhhjjj
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as for them talking about other ppl, i wont share ALL the screenshots bc idk if the ppl theyre talking bad about would rlly feel comfortable w those being posted, if they know, they can feel free to post it on their own accord, so like i said, wont share, but i HAVE seen some and i can conform that they have done it, its ABSOLUTELY NOT above them
for now ill post the ss i CAN post rn which just proves my point
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now ignoring that theyre talking smack, theyre just so odd and obviously didnt rlly think this through bc 1967 is ALREADY IMPLIED in the 60s, youre just incapable of reading things that arent about teen boys getting it on w each other PLEASE get a grip on reality😭😭
theyve talked about 14 year olds and their post on their acc just to shit on them, once again, GROWN ASS PERSON TWEAKIN OVER THE IDEAS OF A 14 YEAR OLD🗣️🗣️
NOW maybe your asking “how do you know the discord user and the tumblr user are the same person” AND I WILL ADMIT, while i DO have strong feelings they are the same person, its not 100% proven, HOWEVER buddyaldridge DOES go by buddy and that discord users name is buddy, so while its not concrete, the link IS there, once again, feel free to come to whatever conclusion you wanna come to about that
but what ISNT disputable is the fact that theyre a proshitter
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additionally just this??? reblog from them????
on its own, not MUCH, bit considering the fics they make this is SO weird like??????
and finally, ive heard that theyve specifically came for me about my haitian shepards and maybe even my heritage, saying that they hated race hcs??????like using me as an example, they ss my acc and talked shit, someone contacted me about it and they dont have ss of it specifically, but they can vouch for it, and im not just gonna dismiss that, bc while they dont have ss, they do have ss and proof of everything else, so i do believe them, and theyve said if they find it they would show them to me, do what you wanna with this info
ANYWAYS buddy, your brain is unironically pornrotted, ur being a lil baby who cant do anything but cry and moan online on discord of all places and ur doing all this as a 30+ year old, and its CRAZIER bc youre doing all this while having “minors dni” in your pinned post, while also writing about minors, in a fandom MOSTLY OF MIDDLE SCHOOLERS!!!! (aka minors!!! ik age is hard for you to grasp) on top of that, literally ANY and ALL race hcs is way more believable and enjoyable than any “ideas” you’ve been cooking up in that odd demented, shriveled up pea brain of urs
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anyways yea, that all i have to say, and im speaking for myself here, but i mean this with every fiber of my being, i dont know how you function in life but i DO NOT want you to go any farther, and i think others would/DO feel the same, ive seen what makes you cheer and i am PROUUUDDD to make you BOOOOO, you shouldnt be near minors at all, fictional or non fictional, you should BARELY be near other adults
plus if you go onto their acc rn, notice how when anon called them out, buddy aint even say they were wrong?? JUST SAYIN🗣️🗣️
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im tagging everything i can tag bc i DO NOTTTT want mfs interacting w their blog, and want as many ppl as possible to be aware, dont say anything to them, dont give them attention bc obviously they’ll think this is funny and post it on their shitty discord server or whatever and giggle like they arent a grown ass nigga w bills to pay, trying so hard to cling onto their high school days, making fics about a canon middle schooler getting banged and pregnant, pls block and report do whatever u wanna do, just plssss dont let this proshitter on this damn sight near kidssss😭😭
dont take this as me WANTING drama, i dont, i just dont want ppl coming in this fandom thinking posting this shit and doing this is ok, youre bullying ppl for doing harmless things meanwhile your just making straight porn about a weird ship left n right, thinking YOUUUUU of all ppl have the place to talk about anyone or anything like your opinion on anything is valid😭😭
you NEED stones thrown at you
if anyone has anymore ss send em to mmeeeeee, but in the mean time ill be doin my own thing wooooo‼️‼️🔥🔥
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sugar-omi · 2 years ago
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Alright all your Cove and Baxter anguish has me FUCKED UP and I need some adorable Cove fluff to recover. How about a little about Cove and M/C as newlyweds coming home after the honeymoon?
at first i didnt know what to write but then i start thinking n.... pls i love this sm i hope it heals your broken heart <3333
tags : Fluff, cove loves you sm, sharing money (cove shares his money/bank acc w you), he's just in love w you theres nothing else to say
synopsis : how cove acts after your come back from your honeymoon
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he's bringing you flowers everyday
at first he brings you a couple bouquets but you've run out of places for them so he just brings you one and add them to your collection.
none of them are the same either
so you have sunflowers, lilies, roses, tulips, peonies, orchids, and many many flowers all in one vase
is it a little ugly? probably. definitely. the colors and sizes n shapes all clash but it's the thought that counts
if you don't like flowers, are allergic, or you get tired of him bring so many...
he brings you food <3
I think one of cove's love languages is food
he brings home sweets like cheese cake or marbled cake
or fudge, or chocolates
or if you aren't into sweets like that, then he'll bring lunch/dinner instead
he's a decent cook, and even if you're bad at cooking he wants you to help him
lots of kissing n half burnt food (he takes whatever portion is burnt so you don't have to eat it)
and he tries to always bring u lunch
if he can't bring you lunch for whatever reason, he either packs one for you or sends you money for lunch
COVE: hi bby, have you eaten yet YOU: im ordering food rn COVE: i sent u 50 is that enough YOU: ?!*!&!(!? YOU: that's too much 😭😭 cove pls YOU: ill send the rest back COVE: keep ot COVE: it* COVE: my money is your money
he does this all the time now, in fact he'll even had you his card
which he's always done before your marriage, but now ge even gets you a card connected to his bank account too
he doesn't even care if you share your money w him too, he just wants to give you everything he has
like if you asked for his shirt in the middle of the store I think he'd ask why n then just give it to you
as if he was gonna say no in the first place 🙄💀💀
he just becomes so much more obsessed w you after you're married
always cuddling or touching u
if you're around your mom's they're always cracking jokes....
especially if you want kids they're all "we're gonna be grandparents soon at this rate lol" (even if u want to adopt or dont wanna birth/can't have kids bc you're amab or infertile or smth)
they just think they're so hilarious 🙄🙄🙄
does he blush bright enough there's steam coming off him? maybe
does he stop? nope!!!
loves you so much, he just needs to be close to you
HAS A PICTURE OF U IN HIS WALLET
omg....
prbly has 2 actually
one is of the two of you bc sometimes he can't believe you're married n he just needs to make sure life is real
n one is of just you in your wedding attire
will talk abt you to anyone who asks or makes a comment
this mf would prbly get a shirt that says "y/n's husband" on the front
even tho it's in small print on the front it's embarrassing.... like pls we get it you're in LOVE
he'd get you both jewelry w your wedding date on it
will hold you up at the door if you try to leave without kissing him
you've always gave him a peck before leaving but now it's WORSE
once he even stopped you in the driveway before you pulled off...
man's ran out of the fucking house in socks and unicorn print sweatpants
you roll down the window "what? what's wrong?!" cove, leaning thru the window and pouting. "kiss."
you look at him in shock n disbelief before you just laugh and kiss him
he taxes you two extra kisses for the trouble, he got his socks wet from running out here!!!
you have to push him off otherwise you're gonna be late to work bc you were too busy making out in your driveway
your single/divorced neighbors hate you
the teens idolize what yall have n their standards got so fucking high after yall moved in
n the old ppl laugh bc they've been there when they married and/or they find it amazing how obsessed cove is w you
if it wasn't such a bad omen or if you didn't disapprove, he'd get your wedding date or your initials tatted on his ankle.
maybe it seems extreme all of this bc I think cove just realizes how amazing you are sometimes n all his love overflows in this way <3333
no matter how old you get he's always gonna run out in the rain, snow, or sunshine n get a kiss if you forget
pfx by the time he's 80 he can't move as fast but he's hustling down the path before you can escape
if you do get away before he can get a kiss though, he is pouting when you come back
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louscartridge · 1 year ago
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dating bose o'brien thoughts or wtvr
bose obrien x gn reader
i do not give permission for my fics to be posted claiming to be yours, translated, or posted on another platform.
cw- reader knows bose is brainstorm, cuddling, mentions of horror movies, established relationship, reader calls bose 'baby' and /silly' once, angst/hurt +comfort if you squint, reader and bose say "i love you" to eachother.
danger force masterlist here
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❥ bose is Literally the most golden retriever boyfriend to ever exist. anyways following you around and wanting to be with you. he'd (attempt to) do almost anything for you. when you're not around he gets all mopey and cant stop talking about you.
"no wonder he cant remember anything. all he ever thinks about is y/n"
❥His love language(s) are physical touch, and gift giving. Hes always clinging onto you when hes scared, or sad, or just around you honestly. You remember that one episode of danger force where shwoz's mom was "sick" and bose got her golf clubs? (Im gonna pretend he used his own money for that 💀) He uses the little money he gets from occasionally working at nacho ball, on you.
you put what bose had bought you back in the box, and onto the table that was in the middle of the couch the two of you were sitting on.
"Bose, baby. As much as i love this, and you, you really dont have to spend any of your money on me at all. Get something YOU want for yourself." you tell him.
"All i want to myself is you" he replies, his voice cracking slightly at the end making you smile while you blush at his statement.
"Ok, Ill tell you what. How about you get that new dvd you were talking about a few days ago, and we can watch it together. Then, we'll both have what we want"
❥ Obviously you guys watch shows and movies together all the time. I feel like he really likes watching cartoons with you alot too. You make him happy, cartoons make him happy, therefore- extra happy bose. You love horror movies, but as we know, bose is a bit of a scaredy cat when it comes to horror movies. However, that doesnt mean that he wont watch them with you. He knows how much you like them, and he also knows how much it means to the both of you to watch stuff together.
Youre on of the few people he'll actually watch a horror movie with. Though he still gets scared, he always feels the most safe and secure while watching a horror movie when youre there. Boes is practically hooked on your back like a koala, and his arms loosely wrapped around your neck. As hes watching the movie with you, he would occasionally yelp, and bury his face in the crock of your neck and his arms, tightening the hold his arms have around your neck slightly, all while saying "im not scared i dont know what you're talking about"
❥ This man absolutely loves cuddling. Spooning, sitting in the others lap, it didnt matter. As long as you were touching eachother, he was happy.
Hes most definitely is usually a little spoon. He feels insanely safe and protected by you. As much as he always says to the rest of his co-workers and friends that he "can protect himself" you know that sometimes he needs a little help, and he gets more scared then hed like to admit. With you tho, he had absolutely no doubt that he'll be alright.
❥ i feel like bose doesnt really care too much about sounding cheesy when hes talking to you or about you. At first he might've been a little scared to tell you how he feels about you, but after that, god he just keeps going on. He loves you and he'll sure as hell tell you that he does. He doesnt say "i love you" excessively, but he definitely says it at least twice everyday. At least once in the morning, and at least once before he or you go to sleep.
He actually said it first. One of his favorite shirts got ripped and he asked you to fix it. When you were done sewing it and gave it back to him, he exitedly grabbed it out of your hands while enthusiasticly saying "oh my god thank you, i love you" before running away.
a bit later bose came back to the couch in the mans nest where you were sitting, only this time he was wearing the shirt that you had just fixed for him a little bit ago. He sat down next to you but he seemed kinda anxious.
"Whats wrong bose?" You asked him, leaning forward slightly so you could see his face better. He was biting at his lower lip a little and looking down at his hands that were bouncing up and down from his leg bouncing. "I-im sorry if i weirded you out or anything earlier" he said not looking up from his hands. "No you didnt. Why would you? You didnt do anything" you took your left hand and softly brought it up to his jaw , turning his face so you could see eachother properly. Bose hesitated for a second before answering. "When I said i love you" it seemed as if he was holding himself back from looking at you, instead he was looking aimlessly behind you, or back down again. Only time time, instead of seeing his hands, he sees his knees slightly touching yours. You slowly rubbed your boyfriends cheekbone with your thumb. "Oh my god bose, thats what you're worried about?" You chuckle slightly. "I love you too. I said it back, you just ran away too fast for you to hear it silly" Once you said that, boses eyes immediately shot to yours. "Really?" Even tho he said it quietly, you could still hear the happiness in his voice.
"Really." You confirmed, bringing him into a soft kiss.
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melkyt · 7 months ago
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Law has enough eccentric genious vibes to be House or any soap opera level doc lol
This amazing doctor with zero people skills, even more, this doctor that hates interacting with ppl while being the best in the country if not for all the complaints and lawsuits on his record just on the basis of being an asshole or ghosting patients even if he cures them
Luffy, some famous daredevil adventurer type with more money than he would know what to do with probably part of the mob somehow, has an older brother who needs a heart transplant. With all the other issues that Ace has, its unlikely he'll get one, even if they are on multiple transplant list, and nobody actually knows whats wrong with his heart.
(I use Ace for this trope in every fic Im not sorry. That boi can be a damsel in so many ways cx)
Luffy being Luffy decides to wander around hospitals until he A: convinces someone to give up a heart or B: Find out whats wrong with Ace, with no success on either front.
Then while wandering around he hears someone go "Yeah Trafalgar Law, best fucking doctor I have ever had the displeasure of meeting, dudes a fcking headcase but he gets the job done."
Luffy doesnt listen to most of it. He heard a name and best. Tracks Traffy down immediately! No hesitation.
With the full intent to throw money at the hospital to make them put Law on his brothers case.
But he doesn't have to, Law is ahead of him, as he keeps an eye on cases that enter his hospital and not like Luffy has been subtle in looking for Law lol, and he drops a letter in the room "Ill treat your brother, if you stop looking and leave me the fuck alone"
Luffy dumps money at the hospital anyway, and he doesn't leave Law alone, but not on purpose. The dean of the hospital keeps doing everything so they dont meet as they know as soon as they do, and Law opens his mouth, thats it for the money flow.
Luffy isnt about to go with anything anyone tries to make him do, so he finds himself trying to avoid doctors and nurses.
Law does the same, and thats how they meet. In an empty unused exam room that's more of a storage space than anything.
Luffy has no idea who Law is, he didnt bother seeing how he looked after getting the letter. He stopped looking cause it is Ace's life on the line.
Law, meanwhile, knows exactly who Luffy is, though doesn't say anything. They bond over hiding out, and soon, it becomes routine to hang out.
Eventually, Ace gets a new heart and is cured of whatever. He is discharged.
Law almost regrets that he won't spend time with Luffy anymore. He's grown to like their talks.
Luffy doesn't think about it yet. Happy his brother is healthy. When they are about to leave the hospital. Ace points and says 'yo thats the doc, i know you asked who the fuck he was' Ace only saw the man once, and Law ofc pissed him off by flippant remarks. "He's an ass"
Luffy follows his gaze and grins. "Woah, woah, that's the doc I was hanging with! He's the best" He bounces on his heels "Hey! TRAFFY!" Thats ofc what he has been calling the doc even if they never met. He runs over to Law. "My number! We should hang out all official like, I'll text you!" Then he runs out without waiting for an answer, going after Ace.
Law is a little stunned and more than a bit embarrassed that he yelled that in front of everyone. Rumors spiral for days. Law waits for his phone to buzz from Luffy but decides that it's not gonna happen and tries to go back to his life. Which is the exact point that Luffy texts him. 'Picking you up at 9!' And that's it.
They go on a date, if it can be called that. They go urban exploring because Law mentioned he was an enthusiast but didnt have the time or motivation. Luffy drags him to all his favorite places. Its the best date he has ever been on.
They go like that for awhile, at the most random times and days, Law always drops what he is doing, its a highlight in what he considers an otherwise annoying day to day.
Luffy is just happy he can make Traffy happy for saving his brother.
Law is the one who asks if Luffy wants to make it official, be boyfriends. For the first time in his life he finds himself almost stuttering over his words.
Luffy grins and nods enthusiastcly, then they kiss and everything is cool.
Law now marginally happier then he was, gets less complaints and gets along with patients a little better even if they still annoy him, he knows that if he didnt interact that one time, he would have never met Luffy.
Requests Open till 08/09/2024
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kitty-meowskers · 9 months ago
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scar playlist drop wooooo (will probably add more songs)
lets go through some of the songs!!!! because i am. gay and not okay.
1) Blood // Water - grandson
ok listen. i havent listen to this song in AGESSSS but i came across it again and oh. my god.
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DO I EVEN NEED TO EXPLAIN??? first of all: lamb reference. not gonna lie if the vibes were good that couldve been enough for me to throw it in butttt thats not all. THE PRICE OF YOUR GREED IS YOUR SON AND YOUR DAUGHTER???? get me out of here.
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scars whole thing is about how the system 'the shepard' would never free the lambs. it wouldnt bring them any peace or freedom, it wouldnt make their lives easier. the 'look me in my eyes, tell me everthings not fine' implies that he (or the black lamb in his story) knows even if the rest dont want to admit it.
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lmao this is just that hes done with the shepard. hes done with the white lambs accepting it and playing along with the game. he joins the fractsidus!!!! yipeee!!!!
2) Hayloft II - Mother Mother
OHHH boy. okay, i know the og song is about two lovers doing the silly and the father of the girl killing the guy and then the girl goes after her dad but look.
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lets say the lovers are the black lamb and the white lambs. yes im using his story again because theres no way in hell that story wasnt somehow related to him.
the white lambs got 'shot' aka dragged into the shepards game, slaughtered one by one. all while the black lamb (scar) got the blame. ill bet the people tried to kill him but he made it out alive and then he obviously eventually joined the fractsidus.
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hayloft is the white lambs here (yes again. just bear with me). once the shepard ran out of lambs he left, on his way to find a new group excepttttt
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scars had enough.
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the shepard took away his family from him, his people/lambs. therefore 'eye for an eye, a leg for a leg' but it wasnt enough killing the shepard. he couldnt let something like that again (so much rage in him) so now he has this whole extreme and crazy ideology of how the world could be better, how he could make it better.
3) A Lesson In Dramatics - Jhariah
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this is just scar and rover fighting in my head. may the battle scene commence.
4) Wolf in Sheep's Clothing - Set It Off
do i really need to explain this??? okay ive been sucking at words so far but here we go
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man this whole thing is JUST about him and the shepherd story isnt it? im just gonna be repeating myself again lets continue-
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AHHH ok lets also talk about the way this is said in the song. personally, i think this man has A LOT of 'suppressed' rage. suppressed like that is because it doesnt out as rage necessarily i dont know if i make sense but yeah. he's crazy, but angry isnt something you'll spot at the surface because he hides it away. while the lyrics convey his rage the way he sings it does not necessarily
i have so many thoughts on the other songs too but like. I CANNOT WORD THEM. THE VOICES JUST SCREAM NONSENSE IN MY HEAD AND IM LIKE. YOURE RIGHT. even though i cant explain it..... this was not proof read btw LMAO- i just rambled kind of
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astroninaaa · 1 year ago
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when it comes to cellbit suing twitter and everything, having an existing defamation case he already won would be good to refer to if hes gonna sue sasa specifically for defamation in terms of evidencing, right? ill be honest i dont know a whole lot about legal strategy but i imagine taking her to court for both abuse and defamation is the goal and having a case in which its already been proven that the harassment has damaged his career could be really important because after that his team just has to draw a clear connection between the harassment and sasa. idk though im not a lawyer much less a brazilian lawyer lol, do you mind weighing in? what do you think the strategy is here?
this is SUCH a good question so like. yes but also no it depends on how they argue it and on the judge imo
if he wins the lawsuit against the twitter people and proves that the harassment was awful and everything that is suuuch a strong argument to use in a lawsuit against his ex. like see they’ve recognized that this harassment affected my life a lot and really negatively and you started it
however. she could argue that she never asked people to harass him, or that she only said his name a couple of times within all the accusations, and that’s,,,, true. like, she implied VERY HEAVILY that it was him and i think (hope) that that’s enough, buttt it can also depend on how good HER lawyer is.
there IS a very clear connection between her actions and the harassment, but there’s the matter of intent. she can say she was just venting online, that she never asked people to harass him, that she tried to keep from talking about it but people kept bringing it up etc etc.
i think he still has a very strong case of she implied VERY hard that it was him and even straight up said it was him (the SA accusation quoted a tweet that said his name directly), and how more than once she talked about how awful it was that people still supported him and how they should take her side (i was a cellbit follower back in 2017/2018 it was THE TRENCHES i remember it all). at the end of the day, any judge that actually looks at the entire situation would be able to tell that, well, her side of the story is kinda iffy. no proof, just words, bringing it up whenever he’s getting more traction than usual, coming up with new, worse accusations every time but never taking him to court. saying she doesn’t want to be related to it or to him anymore and yet bringing it up at every opportunity after seven years.
so yes i think winning the lawsuit against twitter/the twitter accounts is a VERY good precedent for when he sues sasa. there are good arguments she can make for herself, but i think, at the end of the day, that if he really shows up with all the proof of what she’s done and the damage it caused, the chances of her winning are less than likely.
unless, of course, she has a bunch of proof we don’t know about. but she’s “exposed” him thousands of times without ever showing any of it, so, personally, i sorta doubt it.
i hope this answered your question anon 🫶 GREAT question btw loved it that’s a very smart thing to point out
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hetheyshe-remade · 8 months ago
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yknow i shouldve figured i had ocd earlier bc one of my earliest memories is being 9 years old and go to a child psych and telling them that i was scared of going to school because people are mean and try to hurt me and also i was scared my mom would get hurt and die while i was out so i had to stay home to make sure she was okay and to stay safe and the psych was like hm okay that sounds like anxiety we'll give you some meds and then my mom was like yeah you don't need those so nothing was done about that until i went into foster care and became increasingly depressed and the thoughts just got worse and once after eating i lost the receipt and i had a full blown panic attack about it and my foster sister was like so what? and i was like so upset bc i was sure my foster parents were gonna punish me for losing it and when i got home my foster sister was like yeah we lost the receipt heres the change and i was like heart pounding in my chest (i am going to be punished i am going to be punished i am going to be puni) and my foster mom was like ugh fine okay and i immediately was like oh no im gonna get punished later instead when i dont expect it and the more i talk about this it sounds like a trauma response too but like the punishment can come from anywhere and i gotta Watch Out like sometimes i think something mean about someone when im annoyed and i immediately oh my god that was so mean and horrible. now you have to say something nice about them to make up for it (yknow- the thought in my head) and then ill feel horrible about it until the nice things i said in my head are more than the mean thing i thought on impulse.
anyways. feeling normal today.
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ghostsandfools · 6 months ago
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this is a vent post, y’all dont gotta respond or anything, im just writing it out here cause i already vented to my partner once today and writing in a diary is too time consuming for me right now
I dont like eating anymore. Things always go the exact same way. I only like a couple of foods, and then we run out of those foods and my parents wont buy me more so i judt dont eat until i get them again, and then when i do get them again i get so scared that someone else will eat them before me, and i end up trying to eat as much as possible. And im kinda tiny, so technically i dont even eat that much but it feels like so much. One meal can take me an hour cause i keep taking breaks. And then after, i feel tired and full and yucky and awful, and i get scared cause i have emetophobia and i keep worrying about getting sick. And i know i shouldnt eat that much but i do anyways. I havent gotten sick from it yet but the thought of it happening makes me wanna cry. I know it’s not healthy, and i hate that i have to struggle with this because i usually know how to deal with this stuff. Life has thrown a lot at me, and ive learned how to manage my mental issues so i dont end up hurting myself. Im usually the one that other people vent to, ive even been helping my partner with their eating issues, so i hate that i cant stop myself from this. I dont like it at all. Im hoping that its gonna go away over time just like everything else has. I used to self harm and i really struggled with that for a while too, but over time and with a little help from a friend i was able to stop that. Maybe this will be the same way… theres not really anything i can do about it. My doctor noticed i was underweight and suggested maybe i should get eating therapy so i can stop being so picky, but that was months ago. I dont know if its gonna happen. And i cant talk to my parents about it cause theyll say some dumb shit about how praying is going to help or how i just need to get better at eating and its not that hard. Cause thats exactly what theyve done every other time. And im stsrting to realize im gonna have to learn how to be there for myself the same way im there for others.
if you did read all this, dont worry bout me. I know that was a pretty depressing little paragraph, but writing it out has made me feel a little better. It’s easy to give people advice, but i have trouble following my own advice sometimes, and thats something im practicing. Im glad that i realize the issue, because at lesst i can work on it. Thats the first step. I think ill be alright.
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fictionfixations · 7 months ago
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LMAO ZEN (doesnt it happen for everyones routes though? i havent done like another story yet tho)
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anyway before i get into talking about jumin (as the route im on rn) i wanted to wonder
yknow how certain things happen but only on someones route?
like zen has the echo girl thing, idk what yoosung has i forgor but i think jaehee had that one project??? that got her interested in like coffee stuff? jumin has the arranged marriage?? and seven has like. well. the hacker stuff.
but it never gets mentioned on someone elses route ? i dont think? i feel like itd be more cooler if it was all happening at once as like little references (but either something they can handle or cant handle outside of the route. just like maybe a vague mention of trouble to interest the player in that route, while still making sense from like a timeline standpoint???)
like. people doing things but its not because youre the one pushing it towards that. i like that more. and im curious how chaotic itd be
anyway
JUMIN. (disclaimer: I dont like him)
WARNING i start venting in this post. theres only one mention of a triggering thing (which is warned before the actual vent part but i dont want to put here to bring the mood down more cause in all honesty im over it. im just kind of projecting.)
i think ive said before how i can understand the liking of possessive partners
but. okay maybe its just that i dont like jumin as much as the others but. this is kinda way too much. or maybe its that i value my own independence a whole lot or maybe its because i really dont like the thing with his cat (and i LIKE cats. so giving me a character who likes cats and making me not like them??? ahgeiudhf)
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like 'dont leave or ill go insane and make your face known everywhere so i can find you again' like the fuck no w h y CAN I LEAVE
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I want to leave i dont care if i get the bad ending get me out of here 😭 (actually i think the bad ending mightve been if we encouraged being compared to like his cat and like. was willing to stay forever.)
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e w NO like CHILL
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maybe. im. being too extreme. and im just too on edge. but like. can you not. i am not your property?? i am not an object??
now LISTEN i understand marking. like like yknow biting and so and so as like a claim over your partner. and now that? thats hot and i like that. but thats ONLY for the bedroom there comes a point where too much of a thing is a bad thing
ALSO we've known each other how many days has it been. eight?? WE've known each other EIGHT days dont be horny bonk
g o o d . this is good.
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STOP. dont talk like you know whats best for a person. like its some thing that'll happen, not a what if.
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AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. now if he was being more weird id say go home but hes. OKAY. ish. now. like hes trying. and anyway getting him to not do it takes time. and also this is a game of romance fantasies where creepy shit gets played off as kinky or something. (not a jab towards mysme its just the kind of thing its trying to do which can result in uncomfortable parts if you take off your rose-tinted glasses of wOAH ROmANCE. its expected since ppl think certain things are hot when in reality its kind of very not that great)
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…CAN I GO HOME???? like BRUH im not gonna accept you just cause you do so and so
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why does this feel like a 'nice guy'. maybe this is my bad because this is making me really want to leave buth gdiuhfuih
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trigger warning. i vent. mention of kermit sewer slide but nothing actual.
ive been pushing the 'stay here to help jumin feel more calm' but. i do also need to prioritize my own well being and my well being is not happy here rn 😭 (on a serious note though while its important to be there for your partner, its NOT a good thing to give everything to make sure your partners okay, because y'all are equals and as you help them stand they need to help you stand too or you'll collapse under all that and it really wont be a good time. im telling you its very draining. and why i promote the idea of get your shit together before you get with someone because there comes a point where you can be too dependent on your partner which isnt good for you or for them [and they can feel hesitant to express their feelings because they dont want to hurt you, or hesitant to do anything too stressful because theyre like that support pillar for them, and they dont want to do anything that causes otherwise because they dont want their partner to get hurt. it can also mean they go along with what the other wants even if they dont really want to because they dont want to hurt them. am i projecting? ithink im projecting. cause like. ive been there. and honestly i think it kind of fucked me up cause there was like a power imbalance in that one was significantly more fragile and vulnerable then the other, which made me feel like i should be going along with it because i didnt want them to be hurt when they didnt have anyone else they could rely on but me. [i tried to get them to make more friends cause relying on a single person is very unhealthy but no dice] but that also meant that they didnt respect my boundaries or respect me when i say no and instead just gave off excuses to make me change my mind or made me feel like i had to do what they wanted or theyd deliberately hurt themself. so.. it was a lot. anyway it really fucked me up cause i felt like i was in the wrong for not going along with it. blah blah blah. we split. i genuinely have no idea if it was true or not but they'd started saying things to make me feel bad and just not a fun time at all. they were probably in a really dark time in their life but im gonna be honest. i dont know in what scenario its okay to go 'im gonna kermit sewer slide if you dont [blah blah blah]'. so yknow. and this is not really the same but it still feels the same in walking all over boundaries and lines and is especially why i do not like this character a bit. yay trauma.])
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i might actually get a bad ending because i. really dont like this.
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mybodymylifemyidentity · 13 days ago
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Sorry if this is weird, we're asking because it's more of a grey area -- you will do transIDs but not sexuality stuff, so our guess is that transorientation and transparaphilia IDs are also on the "no" side of things?
That, and how comfortable are you with transharmed and transharmful terms and/or which kinds?
We wanted to send some requests in but because of the grey areas (in the first question) we didn't want to break a boundary by accident.
because i feel like i need to say it on the web these days, dont read the following in a mad tone. im not mad, im not screaming, im not growling or trying to hurt you in any way. im just talking, im not mad. im not upset. do not read my tone as being furious or anything like that lol
I mostly want to keep sexual stuff off the page because of the discourse it brings and it feels like it can just overshadow and quickly devour any and all attention that was intended for other things, so im probably going to say yes to transorientation etc stuff, mostly because i can see that if i do that, then people will be mad i dont do cisorientation stuff, because you /are/ your identity. transgay content would be gay content, which is not really what this account is for.
also, i would like to stay in the more physical realm of transids because theyre the ones that end up harmed the most. the hate for transracial people is disproportionate to the support, for example. the more physical they are perceived to be, the more horrendous the attacks, it seems.
i also think its useful to stay in the 'more generally known' range, and like i said in my pinned post, have a handful of very wide labels i do regularly. for a request just to be done once, ill think about it, but you can also ask for the actual frames of the animation themselves and edit it yourself if you would like to see it :3! that also means it wont sit around in my queue which posts 1 a day.
I am going to have to think about transharmed and transharmful. once again, this has nothing to do with any personal supports or not supporting- it's more of a "im already in danger as is. do i want to invite that discourse here?" if i did accept, it would have to be super vague still and no specific labels. but, once again, this is a very invisible ID that doesnt really impact one's physical self a lot which is just personally where i like to focus. (because i feel like i have to say it on this website, NO i dont think all the transids i mentioned or do anything with are required to transition. thats not what i just said. thats a whole new sentence.)
basically, i dont mind you asking. send in the request, i dont have boundaries like that, i dont have a DNI, worst that will happen is i delete the ask o3o i really dont care, im not seriously gonna rage or sob just because someone mentioned a flag i dont want to do anything with. drawing is fun to me, and my do's and dont's are all very much because of my own desire to stay in a specific area rather then because im bigoted or weird and reactionary.
i just mostly dont want para discourse on my blog here. everywhere transid people go, people demand it to be a para space as well, but para spaces are never demanded to be transid spaces. a huge amount of para spaces and people in those spaces are transphobic towards transid people. so i wanted to make a space thats just for us for a bit. any transpara labels are para labels first, like how transgender is a gender label first before it's trans, because transgender's peoples genders are valid genders. if someone made a blog about transids and said "i dont want to really include gender in this blog, theres a lot of blogs about gender on tumblr ,you can visit those." it would be reasonable to assume theyre not going to make transgender posts. i am not anti para, i am not homophobic, but sexuality isnt really something i want to touch on here.
if you really want to see the flag edited in or a design based off the flag, you dont need my permission to make it yourself, or make similar things! being inspired is great! please make art without fear.
TLDR:
no im not going to do stuff related to sexuality/para/whatever words you want to use. (i would argue para is sexuality, just not gender based, but thats a discussion for a whole different blog to have lol)
as for transharmed or transharmful, let me think about it. i would only do the general flags and no specific labels inside it.
always feel free to send in a request, i just might deny it. ive already deleted a couple hateful/weird anons sense this blog has been up, but ive had 0 requests. if you want the transid community to have blogs relating to positivity and stuff, make it worthwhile for us! requests are open on our blogs for a reason <3 we love to see them.
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