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so, y’all ever heard the song dogtooth by tyler, the creator?? (if you haven’t i suggest listening to it immediately)
bc to me, that song is soooooo jack coded
it’s the right kind of cocky but also the perfect amount of loving his woman, which is exactly how i picture jack to be in a relationship.
he’s a pretty private guy, not enjoying being in the media too much and revealing a ton about his personal life. he hates media because he doesn’t like the feeling of people assuming they know everything about him. but his girl? she knows everything about this man and he basks in the fact she knows him better than anyone else.
and when he’s down for someone? oh he’s down baddddd. i mean, pining level shit. he always wants to be around her. always calling her. always texting her. he just wants her attention 24/7, no matter what he has to do to get it. (i view this line as him saying she’s it for him, not he won’t ever fall in love bc of heartbreak)
he loves to pleasure his girl. and that’s it, really. he loves any second he can spend making her feel good, any way she wants. he doesn’t even care about the reciprocation (though he does love when she returns the favor) because knowing he’s the one to satisfy her needs is enough to put him on cloud nine all by itself.
i say all this to present this scenario: the second jack hears this song for the first time? oh he’s got big plans for it. (and you)
you’d be sitting on the couch, waiting on jack to get home from a mid-day skate. he sent you a text telling you he was leaving the rink around thirty minutes ago, expecting him to walk through the door any second.
no sooner than the thought entered your mind, you heard the lock click, signaling his arrival. calling out a greeting, you’re met with silence. you turn your body to see why he’s ignoring you, noticing the small white ear buds stuck in each ear.
he sets his bag down at the door, no doubt filled with his sweat soiled clothes he wants you to wash. waiting on him to look up and acknowledge you, you lay your head on the plush cushions resting against the back of the couch. you watch him, never missing an opportunity to admire how pretty he is.
finally, he looks up and meets your gaze, smiling at your love-filled eyes. he pops one headphone out while walking towards you, rolling it around in his hand.
“hey, sweets,” he leans down to place a small kiss on your waiting lips.
you savor the taste of his lips, always loving their soft feel.
“tried to say hi when you walked in, but guess you couldn’t hear me,” you gesture to the one earbud still lodged in one of his ears.
he gives you a small, apologetic look. “sorry, found a new song i really like. think you will too, actually. made me think about you.”
grabbing his phone from his pocket with his free hand, the one that’s holding the small bluetooth device brushes your hair away from your own ear, comfortably resting the earbud there.
“here’s the thing though….i want you to ride my face while we listen,” he just casually tells you, not even looking up at your face, still fiddling with his phone.
you perk up, surprised at his casualness. “i- what?”
“you heard me, before i press play i want you to ride my face.”
said face in question is dead serious, not an ounce of mischief to be found.
“you…literally just walked through the front door. what happened to asking each other about our days? or discussing what we’re gonna eat for dinner?” you ask him, not knowing how to react to the sudden proposal.
he rolls his eyes playfully. “is this your way of telling me you don’t want to? because you don’t have to. just think it’d really add to the experience, s’all” he shrugs.
you still don’t know how to react to the pure casualness of it all. by the way he’s acting you’d think he’s suggesting watching a movie, not having you ride his face in the middle of the living room.
“i didn’t say i didn’t want to. it’s just a little wild for that to be one of the first things out of your mouth when you get home.”
jack snickers at your words, walking around the large sectional to occupy the spot next to you.
“not really. not for me, at least. been thinking about it all day,” he plops down beside of you, making himself comfortable.
his words shoot excitement down to your core. he’s been thinking about it all day?
before you can think of a response, you feel shuffling next to you on the plush couch. you look over to see jack laying flat on his back, head only slightly raised to look over at you expectantly.
“so, you gonna get rid of those shorts or what?” he asks, referencing your thin, cotton pajama bottoms.
“i swear to god, if i wasn’t turned on right now i’d slap you,” you grumble, standing and removing all clothing below your waist.
jack laughs a real, out loud, laugh this time, prideful in the fact that you’ve never really been able to (or wanted to) resist any of his offers.
he burrows his body further into the couch, making sure he’s in the middle of the large surface, ensuring there’s room for your knees to rest on either side of his head.
you climb to hover over his body, looking down at his hungry eyes that are glued to your bare pussy, following every movement of your body from that landmark.
“shirt off or on?” you ask him, sitting on his toned abdomen.
“off. wanna be able to play with your boobs, please,” he flicks his eyes up to your face, an innocent smile on his own as he bats his eyelashes.
“of course you do,” you remove your (his) t-shirt from your body, now completely bare as you sit on top of him.
“swear they get bigger every time i see them,” he says in awe, bringing a hand up to massage one of your full breasts. you moan as he kneads the flesh, stomach turning flips in anticipation of what’s about to take place.
“gonna press play so we can get started or you just gonna play with my tits all night?” you huff out, loving the feeling but growing needier by the second.
it takes jack a second to register what you’re saying, too lost in the feeling of the heavy skin in his hand.
“oh! yeah, almost forgot,” he reaches up to the back of the couch where he left his phone, picking it up long enough to press play.
you scoot yourself farther up his body, resting your eager core right above his chin. all you’d have to do is relax your thighs the slightest amount to make contact with his mouth.
suddenly you hear a smooth beat ring out in one ear, assuming jack’s hearing the same.
the second you hear the lyrics “she could ride my face i don’t want nothing in return” pour out of the earbud, jack inched his face up, licking a long, deep stripe through your folds.
you allow yourself to relax, sliding your slick pussy back and forth gently, not wanting to rush.
jack’s nose brushes your clit with every movement. you sigh at the feeling, not realizing how much you needed the friction until now.
the melody in your ear continues, but none of the lyrics are registering anymore. the feeling of jack’s tongue working through you takes every ounce of your attention.
“god, fuck! jack, best idea ever,” you moan out, picking up your pace slightly.
jack groans, letting his tongue still for a moment, allowing you to work yourself over it as you please.
fighting through the bliss radiating throughout your body, you try to focus on the lyrics at least a little bit. the chorus starts repeating, but the lyrics that follow make your head fuzzy in the best way.
“she could ride my face i don’t want nothin’ in return, except for some her time and all her love, that’s my concern” is what you focus on, the words squeezing your heart and your cunt.
jack smirks into your pussy when he hears you moan, knowing exactly which lyrics elicited the reaction from your body. you’ve always been the type to get off on the sweet nothings he whispers in your ear while he fucks into you, so he knew that line in particular would be especially helpful while his mouth is otherwise occupied.
your pace increases again as the song continues on, already halfway to your release.
jack brings his hands up to hold you still, your hole mere centimeters from his waiting tongue. he guides you to lower yourself onto the muscle, encouraging a slight bobbing motion of your body.
with every depression of your cunt onto his tongue, your clit bumps onto the tip of his nose. the pressure is a delicious form of teasing, the sensation gone nearly as soon as it’s felt each time.
“please, touch me. need you to touch me, jack. so so close,” you pant out, feeling the familiar swirl of your climax forming already.
jack grunts in response, the vibrations sending waves all throughout your body and you’re convinced you can feel it in your toes.
his hands leave your hips, traveling up your body until they find your sensitive buds, pinching and playing with each pink, taut nipple.
you jolt a bit, the motion causing your clit to slam against his nose this time. you cry out at all of the various sensations all at once. full with his tongue, rough hands on your tits, and round nose scraping against your clit.
the pure stimulation of it all forces your orgasm out of you, slamming into your body with the force of a train.
“fuck!” you scream, quickly shooting a hand out to grip the back of the couch, trying to stop yourself from collapsing on jack’s face completely.
you can barely hear the words “she can ride my face i don’t want nothin’ in return, and will i ever fall in love again? i can’t confirm,” ring through your ear, the soundtrack to your release, literally.
jack continues to work his tongue in and out of your hole while you shake and convulse above him, having to chase your entrance as you move. he continues to knead your sensitive breasts, each squeeze sending small volts through your already spent nerves.
he can feel your release dripping onto his cheeks, chin, and nose. he tries to lap up as much as he can, not wanting to miss a drop of your liquid pleasure.
your taste alone was enough to form the wet spot on his grey sweats, not embarrassed in the slightest he’s literally leaking from how turned on he is. but when he looks up at you above him, skin damp and eyes half rolled into the back of your head, mixed with the feeling of your body tightening around his tongue so harshly he can’t even pull it out, he blows his load right then and there.
he can feel the last flutters of your walls around his tongue, not stopping his movements until you pull back, having half a mind to keep going and work another orgasm out of your sensitive state. he moans through his own unprompted release, the only thing keeping him from following his sudden impulse to overstimulate you.
once the tired muscles in your thighs stop shaking, and your breath evens out, you can hear the fading of the music in your ear, signaling the end of the song. you push up slightly on your knees, detaching yourself from jack’s mouth as he chases your now swollen cunt, a small whine escaping him at the action.
“jack…the song’s over,” you manage the words somehow, in awe that he made you come in only a single song’s length.
“i can hit replay,” he rushes out, already reaching to grab his phone again.
you squeak out a slightly panicked “no,” while shaking your head, worried if he started again you might actually explode. you let yourself relax fully, scooting back so you can rest yourself on his lower abdomen once again, but the feeling of something wet stops you.
jerking back up, you turn and look down, spotting the large, wet stain on his sweatpants. you can’t stop staring at it, wondering if you’re really looking at what you think you’re looking at.
“jack…did you…” you trail off, turning back around to look at him.
he smirks as he leans himself up on his elbows. “sure did, sweets. you have no clue how much i enjoyed that.”
you laugh at his pride filled face. “pretty sure i do, seeing as i just sat on the evidence.”
he simply shrugs, patting your bare ass lightly to signal you to stand. you swing your legs over his body, standing and bending over to pick up your discarded underwear and slide it back up your legs.
“so….about that dinner conversation,” you ask him as he stands, suddenly way hungrier than you were when he first got home.
it’s his turn to laugh at you, walking over and removing the now silent earbud from your ear.
“whatever you want is fine with me. i already ate,” he gives you a kiss on the forehead then turns to walk towards the bedroom.
“oh…not even right, you dick,” you huff, following it with telling him you’re ordering his least favorite take out, a punishment for his sass.
making your way to the kitchen to dig through the different take out menus, you hear jack shout your name once again.
“i was thinking, how do you feel about that being our wedding song?” he asks, poking his now shirtless, but clean sweats clad, figure out of the bedroom door.
“jack!” you shout, scolding him as his loud cackle rings out around you, causing your own amused smile to break out on your face.
#yeah…i don’t even have an excuse for this one#the thought came to me while driving home from work#and i couldn’t rest until i wrote it#so here we are#enjoy :)#hockey#nhl#new jersey devils#jack hughes fic#jack hughes fluff#jack hughes smut#jack hughes x you#jack hughes one shot#jack hughes blurb#jack hughes fanfic#jack hughes fanfiction#jack hughes x reader#jack hughes#jack hughes x y/n#jh86#hockey blurb#hockey smut#hockey fic#devils hockey#nhl blurb#nhl oneshot#nhl imagine#nhl fanfic#nhl fic#nhl fanfiction
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i love kot kot. i've always loved kot kot. and i'm gonna tell you why.
i think it's a beautiful song, i think it's a banger, i think it's a nostalgic sound, and i think it's an incredibly sad song.
musically, i think kot kot sounds like a summer night in finland. the contrast between the melodic, soaring chorus and the darker, harder verses sounds like walking back and forth between the bright light midnight and the dark clubs or bars or restaurants or something. going from the first verse into the chorus again feels like stepping out from a dark venue and it's 2 am but the light outside is the same as it was when you went in hours ago. it's actually super eerie the way time doesn't seem to move at all during the height of summer in finland. it's a sort of a liminal space that can feel either like never ending horror or an addictive state of true living, depening on how you deal with endless light.
this is a summer song to me.
i love love love the free flying chorus.
i love love love the old school sound of the verses.
the chorus is beautiful with it's long soaring vowels and lines. the verses are mega bangers that remind of early 2000's music. the echoes of like old school drum and bass, breakbeat etc. are super nostalgic to me and have sent me down the rabbit hole of music from my childhood multiple times since the song came out. and i personally love the contrasts and different sections in the song. i think they go together well, i don't think they clash.
i think jurek and allu have composed a clever song. and honestly allu deserves more recognition across the board i am sorry i've been slipping in that department.
now. to the sad part.
i always felt like the chorus was sort of... wistful and melancholic. but the album puts all of that in a different context. he's not just mr. lonely. he's fucking terrified of being alone.
"pelottaa, ettei jatkopläänit ehkä osukkaa, kuumottaa tosissaan, osote ois saatava, poket tos jo hoputta siis vastatkaa nyt saatana" meaning "i'm scared that after party plans will fall through, seriously getting jittery about it, i need an address, bouncers are on my case, somebody pick up the phone" like with the context of the full album now, it's really painting a picture of someone who does not want to go home and face being alone with his thoughts.
i remember when the song came out and people had all sorts of headcanons and ideas as to why the second time round the voice on the phone is in english - things like maybe he's making an international call or something. well, the truth is that in finland, that message is always played in three languages: finnish, swedish and english. so why is it in english the second time? honestly in all seriousness i think it's just a little nod to his international fans or something, like i don't think there is a real story reason for it. but if there was.. well, if anything, to me it suggests that he must have stayed on the phone, listening through the whole litany: valitsemaanne numeroon ei juuri nyt saada yhteyttä, kontakt med numret ni har valt fås ej, the number you have dialed cannot be reached. to get to the english part he has already been told twice in two languages that there is no one there, nobody is picking up, but he's still there.
honestly this song more than anything feels like the true pair of autiomaa, because to me, this song is someone trying to avoid feeling exactly the way autiomaa describes. feeling empty, feeling nothing, feeling alone. he says as much: "tää klubi on yht tyhjä ku sen katsoja" meaning this club is as empty as he who is looking at it. he's empty and finding other people to party and hang out with is the only way out of feeling empty, the only way to distract himself from the fact that he is lost.
and so for skit and autiomaa to come right after this? he has reached a breaking point and realised he has to face the nothingness inside.
and again, like with takavoltti, i think this song represents that long standing finnish tradition of writing funny lyrics about difficult subjects. it's also very very typical in finnish culture to make songs that seem to be about drinking on the surface level but are actually not about that. this song builds a lot of very comedic images: him vibing to celine dion alone in a club and refusing to leave, fighting with bouncers etc. and then of course there is the whole chicken thing with kot kot kot. it's funny - except it's not funny at all.
but the thing is, it's okay to find things funny in the song. they both are and are not funny at the same time, because isn't that what life is. i don't think the intention of these songs is to make you feel one specific way, it's just a matter of perspective. and that can change from day to day. so i think it's okay if one day the song breaks your heart on behalf of the käärijä in the story of the song, and on another day you just want to belt out the chorus and dance through the verses. it's all okay, it's all good.
and that's pretty skilled song writing.
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Drabble prompt: Dan and Phil on a Fryday
"Oh thank fuck, I thought our food was never gonna come!"
"Dan!" Phil chides, stretching a foot out to tap Dan's ankle from the opposite couch. "You know Richard works hard to get us our food on time. And anyway, isn't it better when we have to wait a bit after putting on another fabulous show?"
Dan's next words are muffled by the ripping of the paper bag, filling the tiny concrete room with the smells of greasy fries and burgers. "I mean, was it that fabulous, though?" The smirk on his face tells Phil he's joking. Phil can't help but snort at that.
"Oh please, you heard those screams out there. Chicago adored us!"
Dan just hums as he distributes their food, his face growing pensive as he unpacks all the dips and arranges them by color on the table between them. There's something Phil adores about the concentration in his eyes, the shift from endless exuberance when they first left the stage to this quiet moment. His heart squeezes with joy, signaling him to pull out his phone and snap a photo.
Of course Dan notices. His eyebrows quirk up in an expression that whispers Really? while the rest of his face melts into a grin. It's the one Phil's been seeing more of in the past few months, with crinkly eyes and a tongue poking out from between Dan's teeth. The pure joy written all over his face sends Phil's heart soaring.
He doesn't take a picture, though. He doesn't need to. Because he knows that no matter what happens in the next few days, that smile will return.
He instead files the image away in the Dan-shaped section of his brain. Because really, is there such a thing as too much happy Dan?
i'm taking prompts to spread some joy in these dark days!
#phan#dan and phil#phanfic#claire writes#i forgot the name of their tour manager so i gave him a fake name fhkfhsjdks#also so sorry this took so long anon! work has been crazy today i am so ready to go home 😪
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General smut headcanons
→ author's note: honestly I have no idea where this came from, I started a baji × reader fic but uhh.. I got bored of it :) my apologies I promise I'll finish it asap. honestly writing this was a little tricky for me bc I've never looked at chifuyu this way but I also had a few ideas and wanted to put them out there + I'm lacking when it comes to activity and headcanons are much easier to write than a whole ass fic so- here it is ^^ lmk if y'all want any other characters and I'll do my best to write them asap !!
→ warnings: smut, 18+, timeskip chifuyu (you'll never see me sexualizing by little blond baby), fem!reader, I would say minors pls don't interact but I know that y'all will read it anyway so 🤷🏻♀️ i wrote this in like 15 minutes so it might not be the best
Y'ALL idk why but my stupid ass tumblr won't let me put three pictures like I usually do 😭 I've been trying for like 10 minutes now and it won't work so just deal with the one picture (I'm gonna kms)
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- depending on when you two started dating, there's like a 90% percent chance you were his first.
- i feel like he would respect your decision on whether you want to wait till marriage or not, he's okay with either.
- i saw some people making headcanons that he used to watch porn as a teenager, but tbh he doesn't really seem like that type of person to me so I'll say he didn't do that.
- although he most definitely did see some interesting stuff from takemichi's gang and their nasty ass comics 💀
- i can also say that he probably has visited porn sites, not bc he's a porn addict or anything but bc he was genuinely curious (like most of us are).
- i also saw some people saying he'd be into one night stands, but once again I'd have to disagree
- to me personally, he seems like someone who would want to build a relationship with someone before engaging in something so intimate as sex.
- I also feel like he would wait for at least a year or maybe even longer to do it, especially if it's both of yours first times.
- as I said before, he has visited porn sites and saw makoto & yamagishi's 18+ comics, so I wouldn't say he's ENTIRELY clueless, but definitely not experienced
- that's okay, you can just teach him what to do if it's not your first time
- or even better, you can learn together!
- he may not be experienced, but WHEN I TELL YOU he's 100% a fast learner
- he's great with oral, like when he first dove into u you almost couldn't believe it's his first time !!
- when it comes to his length, I feel like he'd be a little bit smaller than the others, but that doesn't mean he can't make you see stars if you ask him to ^^
- he's VERY gentle at first, almost too gentle (if that's possible)
- I feel like that'd be because he's nervous, it's (most likely) his first time and he doesn't want to hurt his precious girl 😔
- once he's fully inside of you, it might take him more time to adjust than you 💀 buuut once he starts moving it's heaven
- would be very slow at first, you'd have to straight up tell him if you want it rough
- he usually takes intimacy very seriously and despite being inexperienced somehow manages to find the PERFECT center of rough and gentle to make you feel amazing!!
- he's into petnames, both giving and receiving them
- I feel like his petnames would be very sweet, some stuff like "angel", "honey", "love" etc.
- I can imagine him being a bit uncomfortable with degrading you, would avoid calling you "slut" or anything similar unless you're REALLY into it
- even if he doesn't like calling you degrading nicknames, I feel like he wouldn't mind being called those petnames when you're on top
- speaking of top, he's a major switch
- can rock your world if you ask him to, but can also whine like a needy baby when you're on top
- absolutely ADORES when you ride him
- I feel like he would let out whimpers and soft moans when you take control, might be a bit embarrassed about it so you'll have to reassure him that you enjoy hearing those precious sounds
- he's not good with dirty talk when he doesn't it intentionally, but I feel like he somehow manages to get you all riled out by accident when he just says what's on his mind
- he's more of a thigh or boob type of guy, but wouldn't touch you without your permission
- once you give him the go, he'll suck the shii out of your tits (it might be a bit harder to pull him off them)
- he's favorite positions are any of the more intimate ones, but I feel like he'd usually go for the classic missionary one
- he may not be able to last a million rounds, maybe three or four at best, but those 3-4 rounds are enough to have you feeling completely used, but also extremely satisfied
- puts your satisfaction before his own
- I honestly have a hard time thinking of his kinks 💀 I imagine him more on the vanilla side but I feel like he'd enjoy having his hair pulled and doing the same to you if you're comfortable with it
- also likes marking and biting
- he prefers being the one receiving the little bite marks and hickeys, although he LOVES seeing your neck and thighs covered in small purple and red spots 🫶🏻
- he also loves it when you give him head, but couldn't force you to do it if you're not into it
- he's the KING of aftercare
- he'll wash you, dress you up, make the bed all warm and cozy, bring you water, he'll even cook for you if you ask him to
- refuses to go to sleep until he's 110% sure you're satisfied and he thinks he's done a good job at making you feel loved afterwards
- loves cuddling and falling asleep together after a session
- honestly I don't imagine him having a very high sex drive, he can live perfectly fine without doing it often, sometimes you'll even have to do specific things in order to turn him on
- will buy lingerie for you only if you're comfortable with it
- i think he isn't the type to jerk off way too much, but it definitely does happen here and there
- the first time he jerked off with you in his mind, he was probably looking through photos of you that he took of you while letting out the smallest whimpers of your name
- will be extremely ashamed after it and would act like he committed 500+ war crimes when he finally admits it to you
- feels extremely relieved when you say you don't mind it
- idk about you but I'd ask him to send whimpering audios when he's at it 🤷🏻♀️ (I can't help it his voice is so attractive)
- overall a great lover, intimacy with him is amazing !!
#cfyslvr#tokyo revengers#chifuyu x reader#matsuno chifuyu#tokrev fluff#tokyo revengers fluff#chifuyu matsuno#chifuyu#chifuyu smut#chifuyu matsuno smut#tokyo revengers smut#tr smut#tokrev smut#chifuyu x fem!reader#anime#manjiro sano#ryuguji ken#baji keisuke#takashi mitsuya#rindou haitani#ran haitani#sanzu haruchiyo#kurokawa izana
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Hello friend I hope you’re having the loveliest day <3
I would love love love it if you drew Remus and Sirius dancing!
Thank you for blessing us with your incredible art ✨
#i hope you’re having the best day too lovely ���️#i was gonna be mean and just put the first picture#but he definitely secretly loves dancing with sirius#he would deny this fact with his life if you ever accused him tho#sketch ask#the majority of you are probably asleep rn#but here you go anyway
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Seraphina’s Nightmare
A dream sequence looking at Seraphina’s headspace after the season 1 finale.
There is no audio, it’s not broken.
I made this for a project in my film class because I simply couldn’t think about anything other than UnOrdinary. It was going to be about twice this length but I ran out of time before my deadline.
#unordinary#seraphina unordinary#My project was the best in the class#everyone else just had a slideshow#except for one guy who wrote an essay#i mean#i had a slideshow too#but this was on the second slide so yk#first slide is just a title slide that I doodled flowers on#I had that slide up while I was presenting because my class needed some context#basically: “This is Seraphina and she just found out her best friend John was lying to her about something major.”#Then the rest of the slides were just explaining choices I made and why.#But there was no text at all#just pictures#the explaining is done by me out loud#No point in putting text on a slide when I’m gonna go up and speak#I just need pictures to point at#This was animated at 5 fps lolol#but most frames are held for way longer#I sent it to my mom and she was very shocked to find out that Sera’s hair extensions aren’t her real hair#like gurl you read the series how did you not know this#animation#Drawing in my diary again
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sorry for only saying this type of shit lately but i kinda wanna drive a car straight into a brick wall at the highest speed possible
#trying to keep it together so bad because i already know the problems and solutions and whatnot but i cannot do anything#i desperately just need to do something. accomplish any task. actually several would be nice. but i cannot stand just letting life go by#while i watch other people have the things i want. or even metaphorically living my dream like. that should be me why am i settling for thi#i hate even talking about this because i feel so stupid when i know it's not even a real tangible problem and that i actually DO have real#problems to tackle and the ability to do so but i'm choosing to be upset over the stupidest things i could possibly be sad about#and i can't even be sad about it in a normal way i'm cycling through like several different reactions to smth that isn't even real#or if it is real i literally do not have tanglible evidence for it one way or another like i'm driving myself insane for no reason#i can't even get catharsis because all i'm doing is digging a deeper hole for something i never should've gone back into in the first place#because i KNOW how i am i KNOW how i react to things and i still chose to do it lmao.#and i continue to choose to go through this shit instead of actively trying to change my life because... i'm lazy? and stupid? idk#negative self-talk isn't gonna get me to do anything either so let's just say i'm feeling particularly unmotivated like usual#i hated being a teenager but i really do miss when all my problems just amounted to 'someone was mean to me on tumblr today :(' or i failed#a test in chemistry or something. like i yearn for that simplicity becasue at this point all i'm doing is ruining my own life LMAO#i'm too scared to live i'm too scared to die so i just sit here and fantasize that life could be amazing if i wait#and i'll magically get everything i've ever wanted if i just wait long enough. and i know it isn't true and i still wait for it to happen.#because honestly like. i think deep down i am just convinced i will fail at anything i do when that shouldn't be what scares me.#what scares me should be never even allowing myself to fail because i never tried to do anything at all with myself or my life#like. wake the fuck up. get off your ass and put in the effort. learn some skills. gain independence and stability and discipline and do it#just live please i'm begging you just live so i can be happy don't i deserve to be happy... why am i not letting myself be happy#i'm literally keeping myself trapped in this negative feedback loop ON PURPOSE because teehee shiny toy#and it doesn't matter if the love is real it doesn't matter how i feel like i'm just using it as a distraction i can't say it's motivation#because it's barely motivated me at all. i have to start being realistic. 25 & just realizing you actually have to participate in your life#anyways. i've cried i've agonized i've pictured killing myself in 30 different ways. i think the only way i'm gonna feel better is#to just actually try this time without giving up. wish me luck
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re last answer: please don't stop, being very unhinged about these two pretty white boys is helping distract me from the sharks losing streak rn so bring it on
https://www.tumblr.com/bondedpairs/764566430180147200?source=share
(sideblog woes but there's the link for you) anyway in the vid they talk about going over to each other's houses to have dinner and things and while that is a delicious example of their codependence i love it bc through an rpf lens there is definitely some old man ******* going on. they can have the dilfs and each other.
(someone else mentioned kept boys which i could write an essay on but i fear being Perceived™️)
anyway if you have anything to add to this please do, if not ignore me and i will hide under a rock until the stress-related insanity has worn off and i am a functioning member of society once more 😂
- @bondedpairs
ty for the video!!! and please, WRITE THE KEPT BOYS ESSAYYYY i promise i will read it with my hands over my eyes if you don’t want to be perceived. do it scared!! do it anyway!! we’ll all love you for it!!!
#like. i don’t know how to explain how narratively aware will smith is to me. he knows he’s being put into the codependent rookies arc.#he’s aware that zeev buium transforms into a dog. he knows that he and mack aren’t getting together because mack’s gotta work it out first.#& in a less unhinged way i simply mean that will smith has an air of both self-conscious thought & projection i think is maybe fascinating.#but not in a way in which i actually know this or think that he thinks about himself and how he comes across. he just Is Something ????#the best way i can explain is one of my alltime favorite fics i use it like a shorthand citation bc i love it so much but catchascatchcan’s#many worlds universe but specifically the second tk/pat story second person you the ouroboros spits out its tale nolan walks off screen.#like that is the kind of narrative awareness i am trying to explain that no matter where i put him will smith knows he’s inside a story but#not in a way where he’s trying to do anything to it. he’s just present there. this makes no sense to me either please understand#liv in the replies#bondedpairs#happy to have brought you something in your times of woe!!! also hope things get a little less stressful for you!! <3#we’re 2gether p much 24/7” no go on i say in my nature documentary voice. watching them like bugs under a rock rn observing from a distance#this DID get me to actually watch the video. agreed with puckpocketed saying rich text and ur tags like. YES the daddy issues popped out.#just wants to make sure he’s having fun!! checking up!! mack the prime irritance in will’s life!! foisted off on one another w/ no choice#it’s like when your parents are friends so then you have to be friends with their kids in a way and then also like. you’re the only kids#close in age to each other but they’re NOT but it is definitely not like. i would choose you for any lifetime it is very will smith hockey#(once again) very aware he has to wait for mack to settle down. like now that i’m saying this i DO want clairvoyant will smith which is not#where it goes in the first half but just in the sense of like. those silly posts that are like ‘invested early in stock!’ & it’s a picture#of braden holtby & his beautiful bisexual wife brandi back when holts was a hipster who wore skinny scarves & now everyone thinks he’s sooo#like that but it’s will smith saying my god you are insufferable but you’ll be fantastic in five years. get in the fucking car.#(yes i am drawing extensively from the one picture where will has COMPLETELY tuned him out (there is a football reasoning reference here?#with the patriots? neonfretra drew this also but it was a tweet about the teams. there’s layers to this here ANYWAY) we’re building a life#i realize after the fact i addressed neither the dilf (gilf?) fucking here nor the content of the actual video & polycules to which i say:#brain scrampled egg. the burnsie/joe/patty/(pavs???) polycule just exists to me and the kids intersect the venn diagram but in a much#smaller portion than they intersect each other in both ways (will/mack joe/the guys)#also as for the content of the video. you’re gonna have to give me at LEAST (how long did it take me until i actually started posting tzjd?#i hate that this is my metric but it really was like. i see everyone yelling about them & i’m like ok. [please ignore the irrational hatred#i have for tz at the time it has to do with moritz seider and also whenever i see him on the ice something awakens in kill mode] and i DO#blame tzjd for my 800 drafts and it took me like. a good while before i finally went OH kay. i see it. okay i can get invested. horizon at#a 45 degree angle moon in the late waxing gibbous winds scented of orange & blowing S by SW from the vortex cycle etc etc ass conditions)
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Okay so basically the United States MINT of all people is going to be working with DC to make a line of coins! These coins sadly won't be in circulation (the things I would do to live in a world where I could get Batman coins from the supermarket) as they're collectors coins, but will be releasing over the course of the next 3 years, 2025-2027.
Designs haven't been released yet (the same is true for all 2025 designs) but we know there will be 9 coins in total (3 each year) with the first year featuring (of course!!!) Superman, Batman, and Wonder Woman.
Although we know the first three heroes to be featured, the remaining six have yet to be decided, and it turns out the Mint is putting out a survey on their site to gauge which of a group of culturally significant heroes people want to see most! (link to the form is mentioned in the article above)
The considered group includes: Supergirl, the Flash, Green Arrow, Black Canary, Captain Marvel, John Stewart GL, Aquaman, Hawkman, Jamie Reyes BB, Robin (Damian?), Cyborg, and Batgirl, of which 6 will be selected.
As someone who does a bit of coin collecting myself (mainly circulation coins like the quarters sets, but I also have a couple proof and collectors coins) I think this is a really cool and interesting idea that showcases the history of the comics medium and these characters and their influence on American culture. Really excited to wait and see what the designs look like for the coins already announced!
#ABSOLUTELY INSANE TO ME#sorry just. only thing that could make this crazier is if these were circulating. i would fucking die actually lmao#i mean you could buy something with one of these legally but like youre an idiot if you do that so likeeee#someone showing up with the solid gold superman collector coin and its only legally worth a dollar lmao#not that someone would do this but future generations/archeologists finding a coin in some ruins and it just has like. batman on it#amazing to me#also just the transition from us currency having all fake people (lady liberty some random native american guy etc.) and then going to real#people and presidents then expanding that to honor people that they believe should be honored (think the harriet tubman coin set right now)#and representing beauty and innovation and culture through representation of the states#only through that lens to swing back around and have fake people on the coins again in the form of the freaking dc trinity. insane to me#no one ever gets me when im nerding out over coins its okay. at least its not postage stamps (i actually do have some special postage stamps#its like 1 sheet though it was for the 2017 eclipse and the image changes from totality to the moon with the heat of your finger theyre so#cool okay) anyways i like dont really know that much abt coins lol i originally saw a post abt this on reddit 💀 lol and had to check this#was real which is insane. anyways my dad got my all my coin stuff ive got a proof set from the year i was born albums to hold the 50 states#and national parks (america the beautiful but its 90% natl park designs lets be honest here) quarter collections as i find them irl#(dont have an album for us women yet sadly but do have some of the coins) as well as a few dimes and other circulation albums i havent used#much. and then i have a few collectibles like the hubble telescope $1 coin the 50th anniversary apollo 11 one and the 2021 anniversary peace#dollar. though like not the gold ones or anything like that lol but yeah. i talk abt coins every once and a while with friends and i know#things but then my dad is in the car and its like nevermind lol.#also put a ? after damian's name bc theres a chance it could be dick and they just used the wrong picture. because some of the character#bios had names but his didnt and seemed very dick grayson (acrobatics mention “batman's partner” etc) but not so specfic exclude either one#and the pick was damian. but then the ollie pick was goateeless for some reason so who knows#culturally dick is more important but dami is current so idk#dc comics#blah#ive really been learning so much today. first all in announcement and subsequent leaks and now this. what a ride#also love how im anticipating and know future comics things lol. when did that happen haha. ive really transitioned from only reading back#issues and never knowing current events to following a lot of releases lol and somehow finding out about the freaking coin collection...#crazy how that happens#cant scroll up at that first image without losing it a bit still actually. what a world we live in. anyways take your bets who is gonna be
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aew posted a short on their youtube page two days ago (im only seeing this now as i dont follow them or watch shorts unless its something intriguing like this)
its about miro beating orange cassidy
this is some terrible foreshadowing (that i dont wanna say ive been calling before buuut)
#the clip itself is like a year old at least so its like. so obvious what they are doing#im hoping this is only for like to hype miros return and theyre gonna keep him in the tnt title picture#but why use this clip with oc specifically? if hes not going for the international title#i hate to say i called it if this does evolve into that bbbuuuuuut#wrestling musing#i mean ive been thinking that this would happen ever since they put both of their faces on the collision poster#plus miro was out there in the first all-atlantic title match in the finals of that tournament so like..#hmm#if we get miro just get lana on the phone and get her too and gimme a kip/penny vs miro/lana feud tho please#im very tired and now my brain is filled with what feels like beans excuse this mess of a post
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thinking about how not only my brain problems but also the way i was taught history in school has just completely fucked up my sense of time
#watching a video and was shown a picture of a person in colour#and then was told that it was like 40 years ago that that was taken#and it felt like i just got kicked in the spine like. what? colour photos? that long ago?#and then i realize that 40 years ago was only the 80's#and then like. how some things in history classes were framed to be older or more recent just to fit a narrative#like how most pictures you see of MLK are in black and white to put the thought in your head that this was Forever Ago#there are photos of that man in colour. they just never show them.#because this is Ancient History of course#but then things that were split by centuries are framed as all being homogenized Oh Here's Those Three Ancient Guys#bc they Only teach egypt greece and rome bc obviously nobody else fucking existed around then#what do you mean humans have been in north america for millenia whites were the First Ones To Find It#and it was So So Recent ago that sometimes ppl still call this place The New World (it's not. fucking. new.)#but also slavery was So So So long ago look all of that was in the past and it's history and we don't need to worry about it bc It's Over#(no it's fucking not. prison labor and outsourcing labor to countries with a lack of labor laws is still fully slavery :)#i love how sometimes the shit the right complains about is also the shit they fucking caused#like 'everything's made in china nothing is American™️ anymore >:('#but then immediately 'why should we pay people to work >:( i'm gonna make other countries work for me bc they're cheaper >:('#i hate this shit i wanna just become moss
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Alligator Body Language and You, or: How To Know When An Alligator On Social Media is Being Stressed for Views
Alligators are wild animals. Despite the idiotic claims of animal abusers like Jay Brewer, they cannot be domesticated, which means they are always going to react on the same natural instincts they've had for millions of years. Habituated, yes. Tamed, yes. Trained, definitely. Crocodilians can form bonds with people- they're social and quite intelligent. They can solve problems, use tools, and they're actually quite playful. Alligators are also really good at communicating how they're feeling, but to somebody who doesn't spend much time around them, their body language can be a bit mystifying. And it doesn't help when social media influencers are saying shit like this:
That is not what a happy gator looks like.
That's a terrified, furious gator who isn't attacking because the ogre handling her has her in a chokehold. She's doing everything she can to express her displeasure, and he's lying about it because he knows his audience doesn't even know how to think critically about what he's doing. He knows that because his audience doesn't know anything about these animals, he can get away with it. This I think is why I hate him so much- he deliberately miseducates his audience. He knows what he's doing is factually inaccurate, he just doesn't care because attention means more to him than anything else in the world.
Let's change that! Here are two really important lessons for understanding alligator body language on social media.
Lesson 1: Alligators Don't Smile (in fact, most animals don't)
So what's going on in this video? Jay Brewer is aggressively choking his white alligator Coconut while scrubbing algae off of her with a toothbrush. And make no mistake, he is digging into the creature's throat while she is visibly distressed. He claims she's happy- but she's not. He is willfully misrepresenting what this animal is feeling. That's a problem, because people... well, we actually kind of suck at reading other species' body language. The reason for this is that we tend to overlay our own responses on their physical cues, and that's a problem. For example, let's look at an animal with a really similar face to ours, the chimpanzee. Check out Ama's toothy grin!
Wait, no. That's not a happy smile. That's a threat display. When a chimpanzee "smiles," it's either terrified and doing a fear grimace, or it's showing you its teeth because it intends on using them in your face.
How about a dog? Look at my smiling, happy puppy!
Oh wait no, this is a picture of Ryder when he was super overwhelmed by noise and people during a holiday party. He'd hopped up in my sister's lap to get away from stuff that was happening on the floor and was panting quite heavily. See the tension in the corners of his mouth and his eyes? A lot of the time when a dog "smiles," the smile isn't happy. It's stress! Why Animals Do The Thing has a nice writeup about that, but the point is, our body language is not the same as other species. And for reptiles, body language is wildly different.
For instance, look at these two alligators. Pretty cute, right? Look at 'em, they're posing for a Christmas card or something! How do you think they're feeling?
Well, I'll tell you how the normal one is feeling. He's annoyed! Why is he annoyed? Because the albino just rolled up, pushed another gator off the platform, and is trying to push this guy, too. I know this because I actually saw it happen. It was pretty funny, not gonna lie. He's not gaping all the way, but he was hissing- you can actually see him getting annoyed in the sequence I took right before this shot. Look at him in this first shot here- he's just relaxing, and you can see he isn't gaping even a little bit.
By the end, he's expressing displeasure, but not enough to actually do anything about it. He's annoyed, but he's comfy and that's where one of the best basking areas is, so he'll put up with it.
Reptiles open their mouths wide for a lot of reasons, but never because they are actively enjoying a sensation. Unless they're eating. No reptile smiles- they can't. They don't even have moveable lips. If a reptile is gaping, it's doing so because:
It is doing a threat display.
It is making certain vocalizations, all of which are threats. Alligators are one of the rare reptiles that do regularly vocalize, but most of their calls aren't made with a wide open mouth.
It is about to bite something delicious or somebody stupid. Check out this video- virtually all of the gaping here is anticipatory because these trained gators know darn well that the bowl is full of delicious snacks. (I have some issues with Florida's Wildest, but the man knows how to train a gator AND he is honest about explaining what they're doing and why, and all of his animals are healthy and well-cared for, and he doesn't put the public or his staff at risk- just himself.)
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It's too hot and it has opened its mouth to vent some of that heat and thermoregulate. This is the main reason why alligators will often have their mouths part of the way open, but sometimes they'll open all the way for thermoregulation. This is what a thermoregulatory gape looks like- usually it's not all the way open, kinda more like < rather than V, but you can't say that 100% of the time. Additionally, a thermoregulatory gape... typically happens when it's hot out. If they're inside, maybe they've been under their basking light for too long. Heat's the dominant factor, is what I'm getting at.
There is another reason that a captive crocodilian might be gaping, and that's because it's doing so on command. Some places have their gators trained to gape on cue, like St. Augustine Alligator Farm and other good zoos. They have the animals do this in presentations that are genuinely educational. They ask the animals to open their mouths so that they can show off their teeth and demonstrate how their tongues seal off the back of their mouth. They'll also do it as part of routine healthcare, because looking at their teeth is important.
In this case, the animals aren't gaping because they're stressed, they're gaping because they know they're gonna get a piece of chicken or fish if they do it. And what's more, they're doing it on cue. They have a specific command or signal that tells them to open wide. It's not an instinctive response to a situation. It's trained. If the animal provides the behavior after a cue, the situation is much less likely to be negatively impactful.
It's also important to remember that there's a difference between a partially open mouth and a gape! As discussed above, alligators will often have their mouths a little bit open just to maintain temperature homeostasis. It helps them stay comfy, temperature-wise. These guys are all doing thermoregulatory open-mouthed behavior- that slight open and relaxed body posture is a dead giveaway. (That and it's the hottest spot in the enclosure.)
Lesson 2: A Happy Gator Is A Chill Gator
So if alligators don't smile or have facial expressions other than the :V that typically signifies distress, how else can you tell how they're feeling? One way is stillness. See, alligators subscribe to the philosophy of if it sucks... hit da bricks.
Basically, if they hate it, they'll leave. Unless, y'know, somebody has their meaty claws digging into their throat or is otherwise restraining them. (Restraint isn't always bad, btw. Sometimes the animal is going through a medical thing or needs to be restrained for their safety- which a responsible educator will explain.)
Let's look at a very similar scenario, in which a captive alligator is getting his back scrubbed.
As you can see, it's quite different. First, he's not being restrained at all. Second, look at how relaxed he is! He's just chilling there vibing! He could simply get up and leave if he wanted to, because he's not being held. Towards the end of the video, as he lifts his head, you can see that his respiratory rate is very even as his throat flutters a bit. I'm not sure what this facility is, so I can't comment on care/general ethics, but like. In this specific case, this is an alligator enjoying being scrubbed! And you can tell because he's not doing anything. A happy gator is content to be doing what they're doing.
Why Should I Listen To You?
Now, you should ask yourself, why should you listen to me? Why should you trust me, who does not own an alligator, versus Jay Brewer, who owns several?
Well, first off, there's no profit for me in telling you that what you're seeing on social media is in fact not what you're being told you're seeing. I'm not getting paid to do this. That's the thing with people who make social media content. The big names aren't doing it just for fun. They're doing it for money. Whether that's profit through partnerships or sponsorships, or getting more people to visit their facilities, or ad revenue, you can't ignore the factor of money. And this is NOT a bad thing, because it allows educators to do what they're passionate about! People deserve to be paid for the work that they do!
But the problem starts when you chase the algorithm instead of actually educating. A "smiling" alligator gets the views, and if people don't know enough to know better, it keeps getting the views. People love unconventional animal stories and they want those animals to be happy- but the inability to even know where to start with critically evaluating these posts really hinders the ability to spread real information. Like, this post will probably get a couple hundred notes, but that video of Coconut being scrubbed had almost 400,000 likes when I took that screenshot. Think about how many eyeballs that's reached by now. What I'm saying here is that it's just... really important to think critically about who you're getting your information from. What do dissenters say in the comments? What do other professionals say? You won't find a single herpetologist that has anything good to say about Prehistoric Pets, I can tell you that right now.
Another reason you can trust me is that my sources are not "just trust me bro," or "years of experience pretending my pet shop where animals come to die is a real zoo." Instead, here are my primary sources for my information on alligator behavior:
Dragon Songs: Love and Adventure among Crocodiles, Alligators, and Other Dinosaur Relations- Vladimir Dinets
The Secret Social Lives of Reptiles- J. Sean Doody, Vladimir Dinets, Gordon M. Burghardt
Social Behavior Deficiencies in Captive American Alligators (Alligator mississippiensis)- Z Walsh, H Olson, M Clendening, A Rycyk
Social Displays of the American Alligator (Alligator mississippiensis)- Kent Vliet
Social Signals and Behaviors of Adult Alligators and Crocodiles- Leslie Garrick, Jeffery Lang
Never smile at a crocodile: Gaping behaviour in the Nile crocodile at Ndumo Game Reserve, South Africa- Cormac Price, Mohamed Ezat, Céline Hanzen, Colleen Downs (this one's Nile crocs, not American alligators, but it's really useful for modeling an understanding of gape behaviors and proximity)
Thermoregulatory Behavior of Captive American Alligators (Alligator mississippiensis)- Cheryl S. Asa, Gary D. London, Ronald R. Goellner, Norman Haskell, Glenn Roberts, Crispen Wilson
Unprovoked Mouth Gaping Behavior in Extant Crocodylia- Noah J. Carl, Heather A. Stewart, Jenny S. Paul
Thank you for reading! Here's a very happy wild alligator from Sanibel for your trouble.
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HELL YEAH CROWN PRINCE PHANTOM whose ectoplasmic signature readings are obviously higher than that of his dad’s, who’s still filtering the corrupted ectoplasm and that takes time, (which is why he only wears the crown and not the ring.) So imagine, imagine that the imaginary of the vengeful angel was only visible to Danny, just like the crown, like imperceptible to human eyes kinda thing. To Batman Red Hood is just another ecto-entity who caught him off guard, and so he has to be better prepared. He goes see the JLD to ask for more information about these entities. They tell him one is the ghost king. Cuz mages can get a read in signatures and one is off the charts level powerful, or maybe Batman just had a scanner I dunno, point is Batman wrongly deduces whose the ghost king in this situation. After all, only one was able to actually display a tangible supernatural form and readings that remained steady during the scan. ((Jason’s are unreliable, funky if he’s not trying and bitch-you-better-start-running if he is.))
So. Batman wants to summon the ghost king. He doesn’t see a reason to involve the JL, just him and Constantine, who’s like ?? I heard there was new management, but…so new that the king’s a literal child?? okay I gotta see this. im putting a bunch of binds and spells so the ghost won’t be able to cross the summoning circle. Like Constantine just has Batman’s initial assessment and a power chart. Bruce’s detailed report indicates the kid has no experience on battle combat and instead just heavily relies on his powers (list of known powers not conclusive), but is still a threat that knows his and his associates secret identity. Curiously, the Bat also put that the kid is heavily suspected of being emotionally compromised.
Anyways
They expect a child.
They get the Red Hood.
Red Hood, who is still a bat, and still trained with assassins. Motherfucker whose ectoplasm readings are again so funky he can pass through the summoning’s restrains and binds as if they are not there. He’s such a little shit about how he’s sprinting the whole thing. He’s ghost adjacent enough he can turn intangible. He’s an expert on combat who can fucking predict what the bat’s planning to pull because he fought alongside him. Dramatic bitch saw Batman and immediately went to throw hands. Especially when the the Bat tries to pull off a gun on him.
Jason: oh so you’re using guns now??? you’re really such a hypocrite!!
Batman: I’m not the one whose letting a child cover for their criminal activities!!
…
Batman, at some point: I would never hurt my own son!!
Jason:
Jason: 🤡
…
Batman: how do you know our identities???
Jason, who didn’t know B knew he knew and who also had a pretty hardcore pretty little liars phase ✨: two can keep a secret if one of them is dead. bitch.
Batman:
Batman: this is confirmation. a dead figure from my past told him i’m Batman
…..
Batman, who’s still trying to see an angle to the Red Hood: You are obviously unfit to take care of a child
Jason:
Danny, 15 and thoroughly done with everyone's crap, steals the Crown of Fire and the Skeleton Key and uses the later to find a suitable new High King for the Infinite Realms. The key (also known as Deaths kay) acted like a sort of Infi-map but lacked the limitations of needing a natural portal to spawn in that time/location and could get you past any wards/protections no mater how powerful.
The key spawns him just in front of the form of a sleeping Jason Todd, and Danny decided he wasn't going to question the magical keys judgment and just plops the crown on a bleary and startled Jasons head.
The crown burned for this guy, signaling that it found him worthy and that was more than enough for Danny.
With no context whatsoever, Danny looked Jason in the eye, burning neon green meeting with wide greenish blue, "You're our king now."
Then he vanished.
Jason later finds that the Lazarus entity left behind a handmade pamphlet. It was immensely unhelpful.
#Jason: you are the least adequate person to tell me that you overgrown emo furry#You don’t see ME going into your house to scream all you did wrong when you were a first time dad#Jason somehow finds himself facing a Batman that’s asking him to sign away him parental rights#to which. first. deja vu. that’s even the same pen that B used when he was adopting Jason#and second. no. what the fuck.#Jason can’t believe the AUDACITY of this man#omg Karen you just can’t adopt the first child you think is in a bad place#like Jason bluescreens for a second#then he decides that if Bruce is gonna be such an obtuse little manchild about it then so will Jason#that’s right. uno-reverse card bitch#Jason is about to steal all his siblings back from his dad#Jason revealing himself to all of B’s children: yes hi you’re my sibling now#and you have a nephew!!!#Jason is just on a warpath to drop as many bombshells as he can#like#Yees i’m alive again dickhead please stop crying i missed u too#What no!! Timmers you are my brother no you cannot be my son. why?? bitch Dick will kill me if I take away his older brother dad thing#Dames Dami no you don’t have to compete to see who’s the best kid-nephew here also please don’t try to kill Danny#he has the power to die on command. not the wish#*sigh* wait what do you mean I don’t breathe sometimes?? omg cass hold me I’m having a bit of a panic attack#shit I’m literally king of the dead. oh-uh you didn’t know?? huh. huh#i must still be reeling over you figuring out I was the red hood like two second after meeting me you little menace#Duke still isn’t in the picture. but he would be BLINDED. like shit Danny didn’t you say only other ghosts could see the ethereal glow and#stuff?!?#Danny: DAD that was YEARS AGO you’re stable now and like pulsing mermaid barbie levels of power of course others CAN SEE YOU#dw they learn how to put the blindsides on#but yeah B now has his children giving him the stink eye#OOF I FORGOT#ESPECIALLY AFTER THEY LEARN HE ATTACKED THEIR BROTHER AND NEPHEW#Jason is very happy tho because now he knows he has family that loves him and will avenge him (even if it is against B) 💜😌
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DPxDC "Pick Me Up"
The stream goes live on the first day of the school year. It's the usual song and dance - mad laughing, threats, poor jokes, terror, and about thirty kids huddled together in a classroom behind Joker's back. Tim recognizes it as one of the Gotham Academy classrooms. Dick can't imagine the horror those kids' parents must be feeling right now. Jason jokes about middle school traumatic experiences. Damian is feeling very justified for skipping classes today.
Bruce, all suited up in his Batman garb, is making his way to the Academy as fast as he possibly can. Those are kids.
Gotham is once again anxiously kept on the edge of their seats, watching as Joker decides to interview the kids on their learning experience so far. Something about leaving a good first impression on the new generation or some other bullshit. Most kids stutter over their words - it's true that Gothamites are way more composed when facing life-threatening events, but those kids are only fourteen or fifteen for the most part. They are not old enough to keep their cool in the face of a murder clown.
That is, until Joker points his camera at one of the girls. Black hair in a high ponytail, blue eyes without a trace of fear, a slightly displeased, even bored expression on her face. She looks straight into the camera, not even waiting for the laughing madman to finish his question, and deadpans:
"I don't think I like school. Pick me up, please."
Joker sputters.
"Not so scared, I see," he sneers, and, in the next moment, a comically large gun painted in purples and greens is pointed to the girl's forehead, "How about now?"
The girl scrunches her nose and makes a so-so gesture.
"It's kinda meh," she admits, "Like, yeah, points for style, but you know, size doesn't matter. It's all in the technique."
Dick snorts over the comms. It's a bad time for laughing, sure, but the phrase caught him off-guard. This is not what you'd expect to hear from a teen, and definitely not something you'd expect anyone to say to the Joker. Jason's comms are muted, but Barbara knows he also laughed a little.
"Technique, you say?" Joker hisses, pressing the gun closer to the girl's head, and she winces, leaning away from it, almost as if she is disgusted by the touch.
"Yeah, I mean, guns are not that scary anyway. What are you gonna do with them, blast my brains all over the floor? Been there, done that," the girl shrugs, "Kinda nasty, but overall, it's just like slime, only sticky." She pauses and looks to the side, seemingly lost in thought, "Huh, maybe we should have added Borax to it. Or was it baking soda?.."
"Listen here, you little brat," Joker's fingers catch the girl's chin, and his voice becomes sickeningly menacing. Bruce is almost there, just two more minutes. Tim is already grappling onto the wall.
But none of them get to finish.
"Put your dirty fingers away from my sister," a low, cold, and even in a way that speaks of barely contained fury, voice comes from out of the screen.
The camera spins, like whoever is holding it turned really fast, and everyone watching the stream sees a fairly normal guy standing by the window - a turtleneck and ripped jeans, same black hair as the girl, same blue eyes... Wait, they are not blue.
And that's not a guy.
The camera falls down to the floor, and there are a lot of panicked screams coming from the broadcast now, but none of them sound like children's voices. It's the screams of adults, of grown-ass men, and later, someone even claimed they heard Joker's scream among them, too. The picture on camera glitches a few times, and the angle is awkward, but everyone still gets to see how shadows in the room morph into eyes, wide open and green, and how the darkness grows sharp teeth, countless grinning mouths that don't belong to any faces.
Screams turn into gargling and then to quiet whispers, filling the ears of all those listening with countless words in languages they don't know.
Red Robin turns off the recording and looks to that same guy from the levestream, sitting across him on the couch. The guy - Daniel, or Danny, as he introduced himself - looks him in the eyes and raises an eyebrow.
"Okay, and?"
"How did you do it?" Tim asks for the third time this evening. Danny blinks.
"Did what?" He asks, completely incomprehending. Tim groans. He's been trying to get his answers, any answers at this point, from the guy for thirty fucking minutes already. So far, he's got nothing. Danny, whoever the fuck he is, proves to be the most annoying human being on Earth.
"Seven people in a coma, including Joker himself, with no physical injuries and none of the children remember a thing! How?!" He demands, and a girl's face peeks from around the corner:
"I remember!"
Tim snaps his head at her, "What do you remember?"
The girl pauses, blinks, and looks to Danny. Then shrugs, "My brother picked me up from school."
Tim drops his head down and breathes out in frustration. He can't force the information out of civilians, he is a vigilante, not a mafia.
"Would it make you feel better if I promise not to do it again?" Danny asks, and his voice is way too innocent for Tim to believe him. He raises his head to look the guy in his shameless, amused eyes.
"I hate you."
"Thanks," Danny grins.
#danny phantom#dc x dp#dpxdc#tim drake#batfam#batman#dani phantom#danielle phantom#eldritch danny#but he wont admit to it#cork writes#cork prompts#i wrote this as a way to relax#theres zero plot to it#just danny being petty#and dani saying mildly concerning shit in camera#it was her first day in the new school#all in all it was a fairly okay first day
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Tumblr in the 60s
☮ monkeewholock follow
🎉🎉CONGRATULATIONS UNITED KINGDOM 🎊🎊🎉🎉🎉🎉BYE BYE GROSS INDECENCY!!!!🌈🌈🌈 62 countries have now legalized sexual activities between men🌈🌈🌈
🐞 homophilespock follow
SPIRK CAN FINALLY FUCK
🚀 starrfleet follow
They are American, not British... But I'm pretty sure spirk has always been able to fuck since the show is set in the future.
📻 lesbianbobdylan follow
Christ, this is not about your cutesy uwu yaoi otp, go outside and smoke some grass
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🌻 flowerpower follow
Politicians are not your friends but damn Kennedy is fine, I look at one (1) picture of him and my head literally explodes
🌻 flowerpower follow
...i just woke up, why is my askbox full
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WHY IS HE TRENDING I'M SCARED
🌻 flowerpower follow
guys stop reblogging this it's been like five years i've changed
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🎹 nixonsafascist follow
do you think they call him little richard because he has a little. Richard
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easy website
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🇻🇳 shirellesofficial follow
Being the only lesbian in your friend group sucks so bad. "beatles or stones??" i will kill you
🗣 lavendermenaceisreal-deactivated72537262
Disrespecting female social groups for male validation? Typical lesbian behaviour.
🇻🇳 shirellesofficial follow
Mike Jacker isnt gonna fuck you
🇻🇳 shirellesofficial follow
Oh no I think she couldn't handle that
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✌ draftdodgerdyke
DM me for the addresses of my Swedish and Canadian friends. Do not put your personal information in the reblogs.
🙍♀️ silvermilk follow
You should be ashamed of yourself.
✌ draftdodgerdyke
huh??
🙍♀️ silvermilk follow
I said, you should be ashamed of yourself. You disgust me. I assure you, when the commies attack us, you will not find your silly little post "groovy" anymore.
✌ draftdodgerdyke
Jesus, don't flip your wig
🙍♀️ silvermilk follow
My father fought in ww2 for you ungrateful degenerate.
✌ draftdodgerdyke
Don't see what your daddy's unsexiness has to do with me and my lads taking a sexy sexy trip to Sweden.
#anyway only hot guys dodge the draft
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🪕 prostitutesandlesbians follow
in every interview i watch of the beatles they are so DONE and trolling everybody, these fucking annoying BITCHES, i need them inside me so badly
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#this but not john lennon #i just can't forget the heinous things he said about jesus
idk I actually think it was very sexy of him, stop trying to cancel john in my post
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The reading comprehension on this website is piss poor. John literally didn't mean he was greater than Jesus or better than Jesus, he was just trying to make a point about the world becoming more secular. Cancel culture has gone too far.
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How dare you say we piss on the poor?? Jesus died for Mr Lennon's sins and it's not "cancelling" to send him a few respectably worded death threats to remind him of that. He cancelled our Lord first!
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Girl Jesus literally said it's cool, I dropped acid yesterday and saw Him and He told me.
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help the girls (christians) are fighting in my beatles thirst post
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🛼 donovandyke follow
I will be glued to the tv today. If you don't want to hear about it, just blacklist #moonlanding !!
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🗣 claudeberger4ever-deactivated98975287
Hi I'm new to the Hair musical fandom so I'm not super invested in the whole discourse, but I just felt like this needed to be said: Friendly reminder that not being against the war in Vietnam does not make you a bad person!
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it literally does tho
✌ draftdodgerdyke
Another win for us hot guys
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#how do i TAG THIS#can i just tag this ''funny'' or is that patting myself on the back too much#memes#dashboard meme#dash meme#1960s#my friend tirlittan came up with ''draftdodgerdyke''#i want that fictional blogger carnally#funny#tumblr in the 60s
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ASL brothers HAIKYUU!! AU!!!!!
Day one of Self Indulgent month for me! I love these three, i love haikyuu, i love killer whales!
(The Naval Academy is this au’s version of marines)
For those who dont know, in Haikyuu (and prob in real life too but in my experience its not as important as they make it in the anime) The "Ace" of the team is the person who primarily scores points via spiking. Theyre the Hard Hitter, basically.
Design talk👇
Originally, i was gonna make their school mascot just "The Pirates" but i couldnt figure out a clever pun with the school name so i scrapped it in favor of an animal mascot. I figured I would have a wider range of puns that way.
I landed on Orcas as the mascot because I think they really embody a pirate way of life. Theyre strong, hang out in groups of a mix of found family and their actual family, hate the rich, and theyre fun loving! And also im a bit biased because theyre my favorite animal, but hey, i said its self indulgent month, didnt I?
Their school name is a play on the word for Killer Whale (Shachi シャチ) and the word for 'knowledge' (Chishiki 知識), i just smashed the two words together. I'm very proud of myself for coming up with that given i dont speak japanese at all.
Anyway, with their designs, I was taking inspiration from orcas to match the design themes of haikyuu. Ace's hair is bleached on the underside to look like the underside of an orca's body, I made ace and sabo's eyes look more whale-like, the clip in sabo's hair is meant to resemble to spots behind orca's eyes, and I tried to make luffy's hair look more like it's round and spiking down more than i usually do.
Ace is wearing a ''way of the ace" shirt in the first picture, Luffy is wearing a shirt that just says "VOLLEY BALL" because i think it would be funny if he wore a bunch of those Zero-context-poorly-translated-random-english-words shirts that theres a bunch of in Asia. Sabo dyes his hair like delinquents do, but it doesnt much look delinquent~y because of how soft it looks. He means to do it to make him look like a delinquent though. Sabo still has his scars in this au, but he uses his hair, arm braces, and leg braces to cover them up. LUFFY AND ACE HAVE FUNKY SOCKS BECAUSE NO ONE CAN TELL THEM (or me) THEY CANT. Sabo wears athletic socks though because he's a debbie downer. He defends himself saying “It’s practical” and Ace and luffy call him “practically a Debbie Downer.”
Luffy is very good at receiving from growing up with Sabo and Ace practicing setting and spiking with eachother and assigning Luffy as Ball Boy. So he got the libero position from that cuz sabo and ace put in a good word for him. Nepotism.
I didn't feel like coming up with designs for them, but Zoro and Bepo are also on their team (theyre in the fifth image sitting on the right of the line of students). Koala and nami are student managers, Robin is the teacher manager, and Franky is the coach. all other straw hats/luffy friends, rev army comrades, and whitebeard brethren are in the stands. Im trying to keep the ages consistent with how they are in canon.
I didnt do a very in depth research, but i couldnt find what Japanese schools have as mascot costumes. and given no one wears any costumes in haikyuu for their team, i can kind of assume they dont use them over there. But unfortunately for them, I'm American. And part of the backbone of our schooling system, is Vaguely Unsettling Mascot Costumes. My sister says my design for it looks like its from Club Penguin, and i find that delightful. [moment of silence for my billions of fallen Puffles, taken from me in The Shutdown] Anyway.
I thought I was clever coming up with the equivalent of the Marines in this au being a Naval Academy. And their mascot being Seals, famously the animal that gets the absolute Worst Of It from orcas. Get shit onnnnn
I believe thats about it, thanks for coming to my ted talk :)
#my art#one piece#sabo#monkey d. luffy#asl brothers#one piece fan art#portgas d. ace#sabo the revolutionary#fire fist ace#straw hat luffy#haikyuu au#asl au#zoro and Bepo are there too#gol d. roger#monkey d garp
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