#Jason is very happy tho because now he knows he has family that loves him and will avenge him (even if it is against B) 💜😌

[methoughtsphantom]

HELL YEAH CROWN PRINCE PHANTOM whose ectoplasmic signature readings are obviously higher than that of his dad’s, who’s still filtering the corrupted ectoplasm and that takes time, (which is why he only wears the crown and not the ring.) So imagine, imagine that the imaginary of the vengeful angel was only visible to Danny, just like the crown, like imperceptible to human eyes kinda thing. To Batman Red Hood is just another ecto-entity who caught him off guard, and so he has to be better prepared. He goes see the JLD to ask for more information about these entities. They tell him one is the ghost king. Cuz mages can get a read in signatures and one is off the charts level powerful, or maybe Batman just had a scanner I dunno, point is Batman wrongly deduces whose the ghost king in this situation. After all, only one was able to actually display a tangible supernatural form and readings that remained steady during the scan. ((Jason’s are unreliable, funky if he’s not trying and bitch-you-better-start-running if he is.))

So. Batman wants to summon the ghost king. He doesn’t see a reason to involve the JL, just him and Constantine, who’s like ?? I heard there was new management, but…so new that the king’s a literal child?? okay I gotta see this. im putting a bunch of binds and spells so the ghost won’t be able to cross the summoning circle. Like Constantine just has Batman’s initial assessment and a power chart. Bruce’s detailed report indicates the kid has no experience on battle combat and instead just heavily relies on his powers (list of known powers not conclusive), but is still a threat that knows his and his associates secret identity. Curiously, the Bat also put that the kid is heavily suspected of being emotionally compromised.

Anyways

They expect a child.

They get the Red Hood.

Red Hood, who is still a bat, and still trained with assassins. Motherfucker whose ectoplasm readings are again so funky he can pass through the summoning’s restrains and binds as if they are not there. He’s such a little shit about how he’s sprinting the whole thing. He’s ghost adjacent enough he can turn intangible. He’s an expert on combat who can fucking predict what the bat’s planning to pull because he fought alongside him. Dramatic bitch saw Batman and immediately went to throw hands. Especially when the the Bat tries to pull off a gun on him.

Jason: oh so you’re using guns now??? you’re really such a hypocrite!!

Batman: I’m not the one whose letting a child cover for their criminal activities!!

…

Batman, at some point: I would never hurt my own son!!

Jason:

Jason: 🤡

…

Batman: how do you know our identities???

Jason, who didn’t know B knew he knew and who also had a pretty hardcore pretty little liars phase ✨: two can keep a secret if one of them is dead. bitch.

Batman:

Batman: this is confirmation. a dead figure from my past told him i’m Batman

…..

Batman, who’s still trying to see an angle to the Red Hood: You are obviously unfit to take care of a child

Jason:

Danny, 15 and thoroughly done with everyone's crap, steals the Crown of Fire and the Skeleton Key and uses the later to find a suitable new High King for the Infinite Realms. The key (also known as Deaths kay) acted like a sort of Infi-map but lacked the limitations of needing a natural portal to spawn in that time/location and could get you past any wards/protections no mater how powerful.

The key spawns him just in front of the form of a sleeping Jason Todd, and Danny decided he wasn't going to question the magical keys judgment and just plops the crown on a bleary and startled Jasons head.

The crown burned for this guy, signaling that it found him worthy and that was more than enough for Danny.

With no context whatsoever, Danny looked Jason in the eye, burning neon green meeting with wide greenish blue, "You're our king now."

Then he vanished.

Jason later finds that the Lazarus entity left behind a handmade pamphlet. It was immensely unhelpful.

[theredcuyo]

Huh

You know those AU/fics where the kids met earlier?, like, Dick is just old enough for Damian to be a baby kind of situation and somehow they all met and get adopted within no time from each other and all that

Well, i think the perfect dynamic for a fic will be this one:

Dick

He wasn't happy at first. At all. He went from a life of a single child to older brother of like 4 or 5 now?? In like, less than a year.

He didn't even have time to adjust to Jason before he found little Tim following him around in patrol. Not time to get around that little stalker child before Jason found a lost girl in need of help who couldn't talk. No time to even get a hold of signs when Talia came to drop a baby on Bruce.

The worst part? While he can't get around it, because he's still dealing with his grief, and anger, and why does it seem like B gets tired of his last child every week, where does that leave me, And why do this kids that i barely know look at me with eyes that say they'll follow me to hell and back-

That's the thing, his new sibblings follow him like newborn duckies, they observe and copy, and do everything he does except to leave him alone. And he's not sure how to feel about it.

He's overwhelmed with all the attention, with how this house that used to be silent has become anything but that.

And also, he can't go up to the chandeliers now. The babys try to follow behind him and he knows that non experienced people shouldn't do that. That also sucks.

Wally is making fun of him. That's one sibbling for every time you complained about not having any, he says.

He gets used to them as time goes on tho, he couldn't imagine a day without Jason coming to his room to tell him an over the top sight into the book he mentioned to have to read for class.

He can't imagine not to see tiny Tim bright up every time they see each other in the hallway.

He even forgets to actually talk sometimes instead of signs because Cass just wants to spend so much time with him and they both practice the signs a lot.

Damian is the weirdest baby ever, but he's the only member in the family who doesn't complain about being hugged for long times, at least not yet, so that's cool.

Jason

He's just happy to be here.

He didn't knew what exactly a family was, and when he found out there was another kid there, he felt a bit more safe, they could team up if it was necessary to protect themselves against the adults.

The closest thing he had to sibblings before where other kids in the streets that helped each other out, the older kids got jobs at convenience stores and sometimes they'll leave out food for them, you had to protect the youngest.

He was happy to have an older brother, and Dick clearly knew what he was doing, so everything was good.

And then he found Tim inside a trash can when he was allowed in a recon mission. He was so, so tiny, like the other kids he had met, and he knew the little thing needed protection from the world. He also had a camera with pictures of B and Robin, and that was probably important.

But whatever, two sibblings instead of none now had to be a jackpot! He did feel bad sometimes about B getting tired of him because of Tim, but, at the same time, he loved that little gremlin so much he could forget about it.

Until he wasn't so sure when Tim found a lost girl wandering around town. (He isn't Even allowed to go out alone, whats wrong with him?) don't take him wrong, Cass is great, she joins them in pranks and in spying on Dick, but she also doesn't let him forget that she's older than him (just a few months damn it!) but it's just-

She's just so much better than him too. She can't read, he has her on that, but that's all. She's stronger than him (she beated his ass in training at least twice now), she's faster, she doesn't cause problems, She's smarter than him for fucks sake.

So, why-

Why would B still want him around with this kind of upgrade?

It's not like he can ask tho, B is been very busy since that lady came to give him a baby. Literally.

And, sure, Damian is a weird ass baby, the only one he's seen that doesn't cry for most things. But he likes the little guy, he just hopes he'll still be here by the time he learns how to walk.

Tim

Tim didn't expect to be caught. He also didn't expect for it to be the new kid who found him, and as if there was anything else to surprise him with, said child auto proclamed himself as his big brother from now on.

He didn't knew if his parents will like that, because the didn't like children, not even him sometimes, but when they came back the next week and the police arrested them for working with black mask and tax evasion they didn't even ask to see him, or tried to when he reached out, so he couldn't ask.

Jason did become his brother tho, when Mr. Wayne adopted him after that, the same Mr. Wayne he knew was Batman. Huh.

Well, anything was better than an empty house, and now Robin was his-

OH GOD ROBIN IS HIS OLDER BROTHER NOW.

FUCK HIS PARENTS. HE LIVES WITH HIS HERO NOW. HE WILL OUT AS MANY CRIMES OF THEM AS NECESSARY.

Tim was overjoyed to know this. Everything was nice, Dick was cool, he didn't talk much with them, but he's Robin, nothing's cooler than that.

And Jason does spend time with him, he loves beating his ass in maro kart.

And then he found Cass when he went out to buy a new camera, he wasn't allowed to go out alone, but it wouldn't be for long, they wouldn't notice surely.

They did notice, but the good thing was that it saved him from taking Cass home on his own.

She's nice too. He never had a sister (or brother too) before, but he likes her, she helps him find hide spots around the manor.

Who he doesn't like a bit is the baby. That Demon spawn.

First he appears out of nowhere. Second, he only seems to cry when someone is talking to Tim.

What is wrong with that thing.

He also follows him around for some reason, and grabs his shirt, but if Tim tries to look at him or hold him he cries. Really, what's wrong with this baby?

Like, sure, Bruce did have him by accident, and so did Tim's parents, but the fact that Damian's did want to keep him around and pay attention to him didn't give him any right to be like this.

It's not like he's better than them, B adopted them all out of a sense of duty.

Cass

Suddenly, communicating is a thing.

If she has something to say it's that she's happy. She got a baby brother, two actually. And a Big brother. And then a very baby brother.

And a Dad that loves her. And a granpa that feeds her anything she wants except for burgers. But dad buys her a burger in the secret if she tells him.

She likes spying on Big brother. She likes learning to read with baby brother big, and to hide with baby brother tiny.

She likes to stare at very baby brother. He stares back.

So everything is good.

She's happy.

Damian

Baby Damian tolerates his family. He let's Dick hug him, and Jason carry him around talking about who knows what until he falls sleep.

And gets into staring contests with Cass.

But the one he really likes is Tim. He likes to have his attention, and he doesn't like when he doesn't have it.

But he also doesn't like to fully have it, he gets overwhelmed.

Basically, baby Damian wants Tim's attention but not too much.

The family also makes a bet on who will make Damian laugh first.

They all lose when it's Tim, even Tim loses because he had all his money on Dick.

Because apparently, his presence comforts him when he misses Talia.

[on-leatheredwings]

i've found your account only a few days ago but ever since then I've been STUCK here rereading your fanfics, especially ones with damian. i wasn't even a dc fan (heard about some stuf, watched some films and cartoons, but that's it) but now im reading comics since im Obsessed and need more batboys in my life (rip my productivity😔)

Anyway, after Sleepover i'm curious what will Bruce (and maybe even Thalia) think of batboys strange behaviour towards reader. He's smart, so he definitely notices it early on, but how he'll react....

I can see him being weirded out (like he was by Jason's anger issues, before his death), but he also can be an enabler, since Robin (literaly any of them) had a hard life, so if those relationships can help him why not pretend that everything is normal? you'll be safer in a Wayne's Manor anyway

All in all, thanks for a new hyperfixation 💞💞

P.s. About games:

1. Boyfriend to death 1&2 - since you're into yanderes you might want to check this game out. I prefer the second game, but the first is also fun. But beware the trigger warnings!!

2. Long live the Queen - more of a raising sim than dating sim but you still can romance some guys and girls.

,3. Hatoful Boyfriend - mostly a comedy, but there is a yandere.

4. The Royal Trap - it's been a long time since i played it, but it used to be one of my favorites so i'll just mention it.

5. Higurashi - once again not really a romance sim, but its an interesting horror mixed with a slice of life

;A; AWWWW THANK YOU IM SO HAPPY YOU LIKE MY STUFF.... THAT MAKES ONE OF US GIJSDOFAFGHFOJDSD

and yes yes get into DC!!! (girl who hasnt even read a full run since like. injustice)

damn now you got me thinking and excited. incoming spiel

i agree entirely about bruce just knowing how Bad things can get, so to make things simpler, he's like "yes, your darling(s) can stay in the manor, boys. 🙄"

mmm yes..... when it comes to bruce noticing the batboys are yandere, i think it's always sinfully delightful to just have him be reluctantly okay with it. 😈 it's also easier narratively ngl but i also like the idea that the batfam is all just corrupted.

bruce's thoughts are that they (his sons) fight for vengeance and justice but this is where they could use some leeway.... we all need our vice... they fight so hard for gotham, they deserve a little treat (getting rid of your human rights)... it's very "Dad who wants his sons to have happiness even if its not healthy" of him. in fics where bruce is a yandere, well, he's the exact same way so he can't judge. although if that's the case, i like the idea of bruce just being like "yes what we do isn't right. let's not talk about it. just don't kill <3"

still wondering what i like more. a yan!bruce who's self aware what he's doing is wrong but he just refuses to think about it. or a yan!bruce that justifies it all because of his paranoia, Tower of Babel style (if you don't know, that's when it's revealed batman has plans to subdue/kill the justice league just in case they go rogue.)

for the batboys depends on their personality... for damian, he's so resolute in things that i prefer when he just believes 100% what he's doing is okay, if not actually righteous. ^_^

hmmm talia.... I'M STILL UNSURE HOW I PREFER THAT AS WELL... i think talia being a you-arent-good-enough-for-my-son mom is a little cliche but also. she kinda would say that. you'd have to prove your worth somehow but idk how tf darling would do that LOL. in the end, i think talia is just relieved/comforted that her son indeed feels desire and wants love and will continue the family legacy (regardless if youre afab/can biologically have children.)

no THANK YOU FOR THE ASK!!! AND THANKS FOR RECS!!!! heheh yeah ive checked out btd and im not averse to the warnings its more like im not that most of into the designs ngl. fox guy seems cute? AND LMAO FUNNY BC IM ON A HIGURASHI REWATCH (never played it tho)

[pentrologram]

my ideal batfam hcs but i suck at hcs :3

Dick

he’s fifteen, the eldest kid in the batfamily

his parents died when he was 8 and a half, 

the half is important because i’ve always thought of Dick being a sassy child. like if asked what his name is he will CONFIDENTLY say ‘it’s *Richard*. R-I-C-H-A-R-D. but my parents call me Dick :D’

so therefore if asked his age, if he thinks it relevant, he’ll tack on an ‘and a half!’ to the end of it or ask his parents for a more precise fraction.

“how long until my birthday, dad?”

“five months.”

“…can you put that into the halves-thingy, please?”

that was when he was younger, of course. he’s old enough to put it into fractions himself now

being a entertainer and all he’s got to be charismatic but a lot of it is natural for him.

adults find his quips endearing and his habits loveable

adored all around!!

he brought Barbara home once and Bruce was freaking out to you because that’s his (the Batman’s) best friend’s daughter!!! 

he was very nice to her and Dick seemed happy that neither of you made any offhand comments about her

that was three years ago. they’re still going strong

Kate

I’ll be real, i don’t know much about her

most of this is probably ooc…

she’s fourteen, younger than Dick by I think seven months?

i think you and Bruce would have adopted her when she was older than Dick, like eleven or so

she’s really chill

she balances out Dick’s louder side, and she’s a good listener when Dick wants to talk

i hc her as autistic here but maybe im projecting

she doesn’t directly interact with a lot of family events and just watches from the sidelines because she’ll get stressed out if thrown into them

i also think she loves witchy things. but not for the witchy pagan side of it. just because the crystals are shiny and the jewelry is cool

(me projecting)

i think she’s like the super cool super hot lesbian at school. like she skates to school and listens to paramore and tv girl and knows a lot about bugs (not enough to be seen as a nerd, but enough to be cool)

Bruce takes her to get her hair dyed and to trim up her fuzz? buzz cut side? every month

it’s like a daddy daughter bonding moment. they get ice cream before and then watch a movie after

Bruce has defo invited you but you declined, because it’s their special time! you don’t get that a lot in a family of ten

Steph

another girly I don’t know a lot about…

probably ooc too :(

i think you and Bruce adopt her when she’s also eleven and she’s currently twelve. so in some ways she’s still settling in

I think she has her fair share of behavioural issues for a kid her age, but not to the point where her future seems worrying

just enough to warrant behavioral therapy 

which she loves btw. her therapist has hotwheels and its the BEST

(her words, not mine)

she’s calmed down a ton and her therapist seems impressed with her progress

like, she doesn’t throw tantrums anymore, she doesn’t hit, she doesn’t say words she knows she isn’t supposed to (much) and she gets along a lot better with her siblings

i hc her with adhd

i also think she really likes sharks

she has a shark tooth necklace she found on the Gotham beach (how? you’ll never know)

Cass

Cassie is ten, adopted at eight

she’s autistic and she has selective mutism

shes not mute. she can hold a conversation within the family just fine at home but she just can't talk a lot of the time outside the house :(

she loves being babied

like she adores cuddles and hugs and she’s pretty clingy

like when she started second grade she cried because she didn’t want you to leave you alone :(

she's going to therapy and she got diagnosed with selective mutism and separation anxiety, but she’s doing better and rarely ever gets upset over her anxiety

we're still working on the selective mutism tho

Jason

he’s also ten (he’s four months younger than Cass and HATES it) but got adopted when he was four

he’s also a grade below cass since he was born on the cut. he’s really salty about it and hates whenever someone teases him about it

this is the curly haired, big smiled little baby boo boo that a bunch of people voted to kill a few decades ago

he's sweet and charming with strangers but easily riled up at home

always down for a fight, though he’s easy to fling like a bag of rice (which Dick LOVES doing)

he has small dog syndrome when he gets too much sugar in his system. 

also he plays CoD on Dick’s ps5

he sucks at it and calls everyone all the curse words he knows

(damn, crap, and ‘The F-One’)

Dick records it and posts it on his private story

Tim

he got adopted at five and is nine years old now

if asked, he says ‘i’m nine years, seven months, two weeks and three days old. and seventeen hours, fourteen minutes, thirty-two seconds and counting 🤓'

and he’s ALWAYS right to the dot

like what...

basically young sheldon (i’ve never watched the show, this is all from speculation and what my friends have told me about it)

he’s sleep deprived

no matter what you do… melentonin, reduced lights, less sugar, less screen time, reading to him, white noise… it never works. he’s perpetually tired

(in reality it’s a flashlight he keeps hidden in his bedroom drawer and a good book from his bookshelf that keep him up but he’ll never admit that)

he has a reading/writing level of a senior in high school at nine years old because of all the books he reads

Bruce is SO proud of him

he’s already planning for tim’s college career

Duke

he’s eight and just got adopted

he’s everyone’s baby brother despite Damian being the youngest

he still has a baby face too!!!

Dick loves taking silly photos of him or letting him play games on his pc

Tim and Duke share a room because Duke’s afraid of the dark and he doesn’t like sleeping alone

it’s a win win for the both of them since Tim reads Duke to sleep when he can’t fall asleep and Duke lies to their parents if they ask what Tim was doing all night

(‘Duke, what was Tim doing last night? I heard him shuffling…’

‘he was asleep, dad! he just had to get some water. he woke me up on accident.’)

cue cartoony wink to the camera 

Daimain

Talia abandoned him to the two of you when he was three

he didn’t fully grow into the role of an assassin, but it still happened

he’s six now and his upbringing is apparent 

he’s blunt and cold (not unlike his father) and sneers easily

let me repeat: he is SIX

he roasts everyone in the house like there’s no tomorrow 

indecisive about an outfit? just ask him

if he uses more than three bad describing words, it’s best if you change

under three means its good

none means he likes it

Bruce always gets a kick out of seeing everyone get stunned to silence by a sharp-tongued six year old until that tongue is turned on him

i swear he just sits there like 😲while damian is telling him that his shoes are creased, his hair is filthy, and that he has no self respect

(dick records all of these encounters, but you have him under oath to not post them under ANY circumstances)

[cuephrase]

What are some things introduced new52 to current day that you like and think are an overall net positive for batfam continuity? (As in, it's not uncommon for me to see fan things that mainly focus on post crisis/pre flashpoint stuff but still incorporate new comic aspects, such as slightly changed family dynamics/new developments, and it's interesting for me to find out what different people think is and isn't worth keeping from what got added after the reboot)

ooooh this is a fun question!!

i was going to say i haven't read that many n52 and onwards runs, and then i realized i have actually read most of the ones i want to, i just haven't read any batman/'tec/batgirl/or duke's runs yet. (i read like...half of We Are Robin, Joker War, and i've read batman from where zdarsky come in so like have also read Gotham War.) (might read Catwoman?? not the point.)

since we're sticking strictly to net positives, i'll include something that i like, even if i have criticisms of it, but i won't get into those criticisms so we can stay positive!! (future cue, so this is kind of a lie but i swear i didn't go overboard.) i'm going to include stuff as minor as like costumes bc why not. also nothing is going to be in order of like what i like the most to what i like the least, just fyi. also, probs not definitive, knowing me i will forget something lmao

New52 Era-

tim's red robin costume. that suit is *chef's kiss* imo. i love that he has wings. i...i don't know if i necessarily want it back rn bc i am sososososo in love with his current robin costume, but i do adore the n52 red robin suit

i personally like that they went ahead and made jason less villain, more anti-hero. i think him trying to reintegrate with the batfam creates some very compelling crises

dick as Agent 37!! which...okay, no criticisms nvm. michael janin's art tho >>> okay well actually maybe sometimes i wish this was like elseworlds/black label instead of mainline but

might be a bit of a reach, but i really enjoy the first handful of arcs in n52 b&r and the relationship dynamic they established for bruce and dami

i like that tim and jason are somewhat friendly. i think it makes sense. for a lot of reasons. this is a somewhat controversial opinion, which i understand. but this is where i stand

did i like anything else from this era specifically?????????

OH

DUKE!!!!!!! i loooooove him very happy he was added

Rebirth Era-

the outlaws, specifically jason's relationship with bizarro. (i enjoyed artemis a lot too!! tbh, haven't read these guys outside of this run tho so zero clue how accurate these portrayals are, so grain of salt?)

the return of dick's fingerstripes!!!!!!! best part of tom taylor's run /hj

TIM'S ROBIN COSTUME AHHHHHH. i'm sorry i love that suit way too much

love damian's current robin costume, although...does he have combat boots rn still? can't remember. if he doesn't, they should give those back

damian + jon's relationship, ik it gets obliterated by the stupid age up, but super sons is still very special to me

tim being bi!! now do kon dc you cowards

alfred's death. i refuse to elaborate. i could, but i shan't (this is not alfred hate tho i swear)

i'm forgetting something rn i know it

oh yeah, i do like tim being robin again. IK. IKKKK. no, i don't think he should be robin forever. no, i don't think dami is a bad robin/shouldn't be robin.

um...i liked dick getting shot in the head. the ric era is not how i would've wanted the aftermath but

i don't want to comment on anything super recent, but i do think there's stuff going on rn that could end up being net positives

the titans being reassembled. jury's out on their location but, i do like that they're back

i'm not counting yj because they're not doing anything with them rn, but they should ugh

i think...i think that's it? there could honestly be a lot more that i'm forgetting. i hope this was interesting!! if there's anything i didn't mention that you're curious about, or something i did mention that you'd like a more in-depth answer about, please feel free to ask!! i'm curious what you consider net positives anon, you should shareeee

[kingkai4ever]

In your Steven AU universe, for some reason, I believe that before Apollo's "death", Will and Austin lived with him and not with their mortal mothers. [I imagine that Apollo did something very meaningful and useful for Zeus and he allowed him to really raise his several future children].

It was a very cozy and peaceful place, some small town by the sea or a quiet, prosperous area, - cozy apartment or a beautiful little house. [Will and Austin were created from clay and revive by Apollo, so Naomi and Latricia were unaware of their motherhood].

Imagine what a happy little family they were - two wonderful sons and their wonderful loving father. Then Apollo fell in love with Darren and Kayla was conceived...

Will and Austin hug desperately, clinging tightly to each other under the door of the room where their younger sister is born. Then they listen to how the newborn Kayla screamed, and grandma and aunt started crying...

This is such an amazing perspective of it! It’s so sad tho too which is basically the whole AU lol

In this AU the ancient law of the gods not being able to see their kids wasn’t forced until the birth of thalia, Percy, Jason, Nico and Bianca (I can’t remember who was first, I think Thalia but I’m not sure) meaning the gods COULD spend time with their children

Now they can’t bring their kids up on Olympus out of fear chaos would happen but Apollo was good father. He would bless all the parents he had kids with in some way (like with Naomi he promoted her music career) so that they could live on their own comfortably

In the wiki it says that Austin in 14 while Kayla is 15 or younger meaning we probably don’t know their actual ages. I’m going to make Kayla 13 to make it make more sense.

With this though Will was only 2 when Austin was born and 3 when Kayla was. He and Austin don’t really remember Apollo much, but they do remember his long sunshine golden hair and his singing voice. They never blamed Kayla for what has happened, but they didn’t blame anyone because no one told them what actually happened to Apollo.

Meaning after Kayla’s birth the parents were forced to be by themselves and to support themselves without knowing what actually happened to Apollo. Zeus and the others know but not the parents or the kids.

[arkhammaid]

i'm curious.. you mentioned that you have many drafts, which would you love to finish? (and maybe post)

literally all of them-

no but seriously. i have a few favorites amongst my ideas which have been written out by a few sentences/paragraphes and just have been stuck like this forever because i just... dunno. don't have enough brainpower to fully write the idea out

much much yapping about some of my fic drafts rotting on the fic graveyard below the cut <3 i warned you... i wrote so much...

f1 fic drafts

son of helios!oscar

this fic is a weird mix between greek mythology and... my love for oscar. basically, oscar's biological father is helios, who, unlike the greek gods, still exists because he IS the sun. his mom did some praying (unintentionally) and asked for a son. helios gave her one. he is also a very present father and also loves oscar's sister's like his own children. yada yada, some background history of oscar's childhood and speculation of the grid about this unknown man who always seems to be around oscar but isn't a family member (can you tell... i'm a whore for outsider pov)

logan/max time travel fic

you guys know these drafts exist, so you should also know that these are just... existing and not doing much more. lol

omega!charles x omega!max

this is... just. brain barfed onto paper, i literally have snippets of outsider pov (ollie, alpha's on the grid, some chat snippets), and a cringe attempt to get back into smut writing... i have failed btw

dc fic drafts

bruce wayne x slade wilson

okay now this one... jason is slade's kid, dies and due to this, bruce finds out slade is actually his father, not willis. (yada yada, someone with an s being in willis' phonebook... it's all connected). bruce, the honorable fool he is, finds slade and brings him the news. slade is.. well, mad, because 1. his kid died and 2. his kid got treated like shit. slade really gets into bruce's head, and it's very much rancid vibes. in the end, bruce aka batman still doesn't kill, but everyone knows that deathstroke does... yeah.... and then jason comes back and is in for a surprise....

damian wayne discovers fanfic

oh boy... this one is a total brainrot. basically, damian spends too much time on his phone and discovers ao3, wattpad, tumblr, etc. he becomes a minor celebrity on tumblr due to his... damianess i would say. bruce tries to cut down his screentime, damian is not happy and as revenge he writes a superbat fic. and then, everytime someone makes him mad, he writes a fic about them. yeah. i have nothing to say for myself

fem!slade wilson x jason todd

a 5 + 1 fic, where jason discovers not only his mommy issues but also the fact that he has a massive competency kink. of course. i have written one out of the six parts

fem!jason, red hood!jason, arkham knight!jason

basically... fem!jason and ak!jason end up in rh!jason universe, they're like "okay we're triplets now" because they've all suffered beneath the same people. it's just pure chaos. as of now, they've already claimed they're clones of either lady shiva, deathstroke, batman or wonderman (with a dash of constantine because how else can you explain the magic swords) and everyone is left scrambling to actually find out if they're their clones. in the end, slade claimes them as his kids, because they were like "we will fight against you and if we win, you're our father" and he was just too amused by it. as you can see, it got crack

game of thrones

time travel robb that somehow became a girl

girl!robb thinks for the longest time, that her 'memories' of boy!robb are a warning of the gods. she has a mental breakdown before the weirwood tree and accidentally makes a blood offering. yada yada, she claims her own wolves, has some ravens as pets. important tho, the whole north is ready for her to become the next lady stark, since for the longest time, she only had sisters and no brothers. ned sees how special she is and gets approval of robert for girl!robb to become the next warden of the north. due to this, he prepares her much better. the south of course, is mad about it, but they can't do shit. meanwhile the old gods continue to torture girl!robb with visions of the future, if she doesn't keep her family north...

greek mythology in the north

basically, the old gods exist but they have the names of the greek gods. people of the north guard their religion more, targaryens grow obsessed with it, once they find out the starks own the winter crown smithed by hephaistos, from the sword and heart of the night king. which can't be true, because obvs someone from their line would defeat the night king (they forgot hephaistos is technically a fire god... yeah not really smart of them). just some ramblings about the south viewing the north as barbarians, while the north is just chilling

crossovers

sansa stark x jason todd

jason dies again, the old gods drag him through the multiverse or whatever (very murky explanation on how he ended up in westeros) and he swears fealty to sansa, when she was stuck with ramsay. i have actually gotten pretty far, but i'm stuck on where the starks search for alliances and end up going to dany for dragonglass. jason is also a son of shiva in this one, because why not

fem!jason todd x marvel

something something along the lines of jason always having potential, be it as robin, as assassin, as monk, as priest, as someone practicing magic in every universe. and in one universe dr. strange comes across jason and takes her in

bruce wayne x sung jinwoo

universe hopping, jinwoo claims bruce as his and that's it. it's well known that robin has a pet monster that looks like a giant ant and everyone in the universe knows that batman is the beloved knight of death. do with that what you will

jjk x genshin impact

yada yada, more universe hopping, megumi ends up in mondstadt, gets a hydro vision and learns the art of healing from barbara. people assume he's from inazuma, and think his father has left the clan due to the war. he does the same thing as the traveler, and just goes around in teyvat. i've gotten until liyue (and zhongli almost wanting to kill megumi because he sensed 'dark' energy from him, similar to the abyss)

got x peaky blinders

the northern nobles somehow end up in the modern world right during the ww1. i don't have much here, only specific scenes. like arya and lyanna mormont walking around with a gian dog (nymeria) and playfighting each other, while tommy is taking a double take at jon snow (who let his hair grow out and looks a bit like a woman from afar so pretty he is) because he has a sword on his back. don't ask me what was going inside my brain, i don't know myself

percy jackson x jason todd

percy has to marry someone or else becomes a god, since he's already a prince of olympus. since annabeth died due to plot reasons during the war, percy goes on search for a mortal to marry. but because gods are assholes, this mortal has to be someone. he comes across red hood who has ties with the all caste and is not immortal, so he is someone to respect. percy approaches jason by offering protection if he would ever need it. they marry, batfam doesn't know, and while they're not in love, they're friends (yes, they will fall in love, why wouldn't they)

jason todd x deamon targaryen

honestly i'm trying to decypher my own notes to this, but basically, jason founds his own assassin group, going around saying he comes of the al ghul family. no one in westeros/essos knows who this is, and he's like, well obviously we wanted it that way. daemon comes across him, has bi panic, they fuck. daemon finds out jason is magic (as in has magic sword and his wounds heal on his own) while jason gets creative with his english master and yaps about the al ghuls being demons and dragon slayers. daemon gets obsessed, while rhaeneyra is on denial because no, he can't be a sword swallower. now i would like to quote a note on this document "jason is very manipulative, fully knowing he can never let daemon run to rhaeneyra in order to prevent war (he's just delulu and likes his dick)". wow, no notes, 10/10, i don't even know if i meant for jason to have knowledge of this world???

[evilwickedme]

I'd love to hear more Bat social media thoughts if you have any

Oh I absolutely do

Civilian

Twitter:

Bruce, Dick, Cass, Tim, Steph, and Jason all have twitter. The first four have verified accounts (like proper verified, not the shit Musky introduced). Jason's twitter is just something like litlover666

Tim has an extra anonymous account to post absolute shit in and pick fights with. Steph picks fights on main and makes fun of Bruce constantly. Jason posts mostly book reviews with the occasional photo of whatever he's eating right now and recommendation for some mom and pop restaurant in the worst parts of Gotham. He has a cult following

Bruce's account is entirely PR. He doesn't even have the password. Not because he can't be trusted with it but because he doesn't give a fuck. Every once in a while his social media intern asks him for some photo or he texts them about a charity he wants to promote and that's the extent of his involvement

Dick is sporadic with his use. He tweets happy birthdays to everyone including members of the batfam who aren't on Twitter (see Damian) and responds to random @ s a lot

Cass mostly uses it to crosspost videos of herself dancing from Instagram and retweets Steph's shitposting

Instagram:

Duke, Cass, and Steph all have Instagram. Only Cass is verified, because Duke is too new to the batfam. It irritates him more than he'll admit

Again, Cass's insta is mainly photos and videos of her dancing. She also posts a lot of photos with her family tho, especially in embarrassing situations nobody knew she'd managed to capture on camera

Steph uses it mainly to lurk but her friends only stories are a LOT of fun

Duke posts his poetry on there sometimes, but mostly it's a casual Instagram with pictures of friends and family and selfies. He also posts pictures of Damian's pets every once in a while cause he thinks it's a shame Damian is too young to join the platform and post them himself (Damian is like 11 or 12 at most in my mind and Alfred actually enforces the no social media before you're 13 rule)

Tim deleted his finsta when he became Robin cause it was dedicated to Bat content and that was Embarrassing

Tumblr:

Only Steph and Tim have tumblrs. Jason would thrive on here, but he doesn't have time to figure out any other platform beside the one he's on. Neither Steph nor Tim told each other outright they have tumblrs, but they found each other and became mutuals anyway. Tim doesn't use the platform so much anymore, he was way more into it when he was like 13 or 14, but Steph keeps up with ALL the memes. Both accounts are anonymous but Tim has a HUGE following for telling random stories about his life that sound entirely made up except he always provides photographic evidence or some other kind of proof

Tiktok

WE PR made Bruce start a TikTok and he insisted it be a Wayne family TikTok because, again, he Did Not Want To Deal With It. Tim's supposed to be in charge of it but Dick is addicted. He has his own account too but he only ever posts on the Wayne family TikTok account, mostly to brag about his siblings' accomplishments

Cass, again, has a dance-focused account. She once posted herself dancing with Jason and everyone freaked out over who this giant dude is until he was legally brought back to life. Nobody in the batfam knows how she managed to get him to agree to participate but he was actually really good

Dick's personal account is not as active as the Wayne family account but he posts gymnastics there sometimes

Neither Alfred nor Kate are on social media for very different reasons. Babs is on every platform as a lurker, but on Twitter she interacts with Dick and Cass sometimes. Damian isn't allowed yet but once he turns 13 he becomes an absolute TERROR on twitter

Vigilante

Twitter:

The JLA, Titans, and Young Justice teams all have team accounts of various diplomatic quality. Diana runs the first for the most part, basically every member of the Titans team gets their chances with it at some point for theirs, and Cassie and Tim have learned their lesson about letting anybody except the two of them tweet from the YJ account

Nightwing's account is excessively popular. A lot of people thirst follow him but also sometimes he eviscerates someone horrible and it's extremely funny

Spoiler's account is also popular for being just as feral as her civilian main

It's a recurring joke among the superhero community that everyone is very lucky that Robin doesn't have an account

Signal's account is low-key

Oracle's account is vital, she provides a lot of early warnings for civilians when there are Arkham breakouts and the like. A lot of people have notifications turned on for her account

TikTok:

Just like the Wayne's account, the batfam has an account. It's mostly funny bits from cowl cam but Red Robin has posted a series of videos triggering Red Hood into talking about his various interests (literature, proper gun maintenance, the actual programs that would benefit crime alley) all of which go extremely viral

And that's everything I have right now!! If anybody wants fic recs for social media aus or wants to know my hcs for other heroes' social media just shoot me an ask 🥰

[euniysu]

AHHHHH this is all so YUMMYYY thank you for taking time to type all this out ;A; <33

Yes you're pretty spot on with my feelings.

I will add -

For Jason: i feel he is often the one put into situations because people expect him to "be that guy" you know - the bad one, the black sheep, the BAD robin, the angry guy - so ok. if people think that's him, he'll play into that stereotype, but he will do so with a plan in the back of his mind that will hit you till its too late. I want it to show that although he is willing to go to those dark places to serve the better good, he is still there, feeling the warmth of the sun, waiting for the sun to rise and greet him. it's like a hug from behind, unexpected, but good- if not almost better than a hug from behind. bc it means you're not forgotten even if you think you are. he is a good man and is still worth saving. (also tho he just has really awful writers lately like good god man just say you hate jason todd - oh wait you all did that at NYCC 23 nvm I SHOULD KNOW I WAS IN THE AUDIENCE it SUCKED)

for damian: it is a sunrise, but i really love your thoughts on a sunset too!! honestly that works so much better LAMOFEL If you look, he's the one still most in the shadow out of them all OWO !! He still is growing from that darker place, but now that he's with B and the family, he's learning to look towards a better tomorrow and embracing what that means. For once, he is feeling the warmth and he is there to greet it.

but i loved your interpretation it's so GOOD and i love hearing your thoughts. im very happy that this could be interpret in so many ways ;A; thank you again. AAAAA

if anyone else has thoughts.... please... my ask box is open i love talking about these boys ;A;

"But who are you when the sun rises?"

A new year on the horizon (click for bigger sizes!)

[patreon] [prints] [twitter]

[spaceyflowerswriting]

big deal headcanons

ft sinu, jake, jerry, jason, brad, lineman and samuel!

> ok first off they are a big happy family and no one can tell me otherwise

> (i'm ignoring canon story kind of <3)

> this includes samuel which i know probably butchers his character but idc IM PUSHING MY FOUND FAMILY AGENDA

> he's still, like, really mean and stuff tho

> anyways they're all like siblings but sinu, of course, plays the big bro role. he's cringe but has a heart of gold and everyone respects him anyway ^_^ sometimes he makes jokes about being their father

>>jake is lowkey big bro #2

>>baby bro jerry <3 who also sometimes acts like the babysitter of the family because they can all get pretty immature at times lol

>>jason and brad are like troublesome twins

>>lineman is the middle child doing his best

>>grumpy samuel. the equivalent of a moody teen with his very bright and friendly, loving family

> jason and brad fight over (not seriously) petty shit all the time. jake likes watching because its funny and jerry sighs and feels like hes the oldest/most mature in moments like these. those two try to stop the fights when they drag on tho lol (usually only jerry 😭)

> so. many. group. hugs. (samuel hates them- or does he 👁️)

> jake likes napping on all his homies 💪

>> samuel always tries pushing him off <3

>> jerry makes sure to not move a single inch until jake is awake as to not disturb him

>> if some kind of marker is within sinu's reach, he's going to draw on jake's face. which is why he prefers jake napping in his lap so it's easier to draw on his face lol

>> jason and brad love messing around when jake naps. it's always "what kind of weird pose can we get him to do" and "let's take turns poking him and whoever he wakes up from gets to buy the winner lunch"

>> lineman is probably the most "normal" when jake naps on him LMAO he just sits there and doesn't mind; but sometimes he forgets and starts to stand up, accidentally waking up jake unless he's in deep sleep

> actually just physically affectionate jake in general. he likes patting them on the head, giving 'em half hugs, stuff like that (and kissing the homies goodnight 💪)

> jason is an avid snack stealer

> brad is the bastard who finishes the boxes of cereal and doesn't throw it away, instead just putting it back

> lineman is the gang's (bedtime) storyteller; he's very entertaining to listen to bc he's good at making shit up at the spot and if it doesn't make sense, at least it's funny <3

> the gang forcing samuel to join their fun family activities 💖 (uno and monopoly nights got samuel swinging his fists)

> video game nights are also hectic! it's a mixed bag of who wins and who loses lmao

> brad painting everyone's nails ^_^

> jake is like the hypocritical parent of the friend group. ex: he'll warn them to stop playing in the rain because they'll get sick but two minutes later he's out there playing with them lol (sinu does a similar thing but worse because he lectures them while doing the thing)

> banned at karaoke bars because sometimes they have a little too much fun lol

> it's okay though jason bought a karaoke machine and now they can mess around at home <3

> except the ladies on the street yell at them sometimes <3

[wrdn-tabris]

hi! i just found about your blog and about your oc, nico, and i am obsessed already :D! could you tell me more about nico, and what his relationship with jason is like?

WAH THANK YOU sorry for the late response, i was working all day and then i took a nap fdjsl

NICO IS MY SWEET BABY he was a weird little kid who grew up to become a weird adult. he and jason were childhood friends who were both very small kids, tho jason was a little bigger than nico, so he tried to look out for them.

they ended up separated when jason ended up homeless after his mother passed, and during that time nico started coming into his sort of natural 'magic' in a sense.

his family is apart of a magic cult and bc of their connection with that hes got sort of a spooky connection to the afterlife, so it started when he was younger by hearing things, sort of seeing things, and seeing visions in mirrors of people who were going to die (he saw jasons death before it happened! actually! or an apparition of his dead body), usually violently OR near him. this understandably caused him a lot of stress.

i think his mother who really had no idea about the cult stuff:tm: tried to get him help. nico was medicated for a while, tho im not sure if it helped or not. he just learned to sort of stop talking about what he was seeing and hearing, kept his head down.

nicos very much a quiet and friendly person. hes sort of shy, not used to people, but enjoys talking about his interests. before he 'died' he really enjoyed like. exploring abandoned places and walking in the woods and things like tht, nico likes to write and play video games and is a horrible cook. aside from his total anxiety about going outside sometimes hes a v happy person!

and so him and jason! they meet again sometime after utrh maybe in ocverse sandbox haha, get to know each other again. jason has no idea who nico is at first bc he remembers a weird little girl who went by a different name and not who nico is now, but hes privately excited to get to know them again. and also to have someone whose totally separate from the whole vigilante thing

they got a good amount of trust with each other for a while, until nico DOES find out abt the vigilante thing and gets a wee bit upset. he doesnt tlk to jason for a while UNTIL the cult finally needs him for their whole ritualistic summoning of their demon god and asks jason for help. and he tries. jason tries really really hard, but with him trying to keep nico safe from cult stuff + batman whose investigating this new group in his city, the chips r kinda stacked against him. nico sees a vision of jason dead again, and he cant kill his friend, so he ends up slipping out n contacting his father and ends up sacrificed and killed.

he comes back! spends like 4 months trying to get back to gotham and sometime after coming back and learning tht he is like. perma possessed and stuff, he n jason end up dating n nico starts learning how to use his own magic and etc

he and jason r very sweet. jasons a lil protective over him, and vice versa with nico, whose a lil paranoid and wants to make sure his loved ones are safe constantly. he doesnt sleep much, because the demon gives him bad dreams, so he stays up until jason comes home from patrol. theyre just very sickeningly cute.

and id be remiss if i didnt mention my friend kits oc keeva, whose nicos cousin, or my friend romans oc isaac, who nico is also dating. ot3 polycule baby.

[jmoriarty-221b]

Ok so this idea was inspired by AUs where Tim Drake is a member of the Addams family and thus this cute idea was born

Ok so, Tim’s parents still travel a lot but instead of leaving him alone in a big empty manor they leave him with his aunt and uncle Morticia and Gomez Addams

And Tim is a weird little kid who grows up without fear of the dark figures at night because the boogeyman is actually a pretty nice fellow who was very touched when Tiny Tim gave them a drawing of themselves, the monster in the closet actually gives great fashion advice as well as providing the perfect clothes for playing dress up, and the monsters under his bed are great storytellers and the shadow man gives Tim great advice on how to hide and use shadows to his advantage, etc.

The point is that Timmy grows up under the care of the Addams when his parents have to leave on long business trips or excavation sites and as such, is exposed to Gomez’s great appreciation of swordsmanship and fencing, and the haunted suits of armors are always great at comparing which kind of swords are the best in which kind of combat as well as the the importance of craftsmanship when in relation to having a reliable sword

And then one day Timmy watches the movie ‘The Legend of Zorro’ and becomes absolutely obsessed with learning how to use a sword and fight with it in the way only little kids can become obsessed with something they find completely cool, and Gomez is so excited to be teaching Tim everything he knows and they work together to craft Timmy his very own mini rapier for learning how to fence (swords are heavier so Tim learns those from Gomez when he’s older and can parry more weight)

And Tim becomes very Focused and Serious on learning how to fence and he’s very excited when he manages to finally best his uncle in a fencing duel (not as excited as Gomez tho, “MY CHILD SHALL BECOME THE BEST SWORDSMAN YET MY LOVE, DID YOU SEE HIS TECHNIQUE, HAD I BEEN SLOWER HE WOULD’VE RIPPED OPEN MY THROAT IN ONE SWIPE, I’M SO PROUD” “Our child dear”)

And then the movie ‘Count of Monte Cristo’ comes out and both Tim and Gomez are super fans (as a whole the family’s favorite movies are this one as well as the Legend of Zorro because 1. Revenge is achieved to the improvement of the main character’s well being and 2. The Aesthetic) and Tim just focuses on getting the hang of swords now with Gomez being more than happy to help his darling nephew

So years pass and Tim’s parents have finished one of their most taxing excavation digs so they return to Gotham and Tim has to return too (for the purposes of this AU Janet and Jack actually do give a fuck about their son so they would call him every other night when they’re away and if they can’t then at the very least they would call Tim once a week; they also call Morticia and Gomez at least once a week to check on how Tim is doing and they were also very happy to know that Tim has taken a liking to swords so they try to bring new types of weapons or literature related to weapons from the culture of their latest excavation so Tim can learn how different types of swords are wielded all around the world)

But anyway, Tim is going back to Gotham so he and Gomez work on creating a new sword for him with the family motto carved on the blade “Sic Gorgiamus Allos Subjectatos Nunc” which translates to “We Gladly Feast on Those Who Would Subdue Us” which is metal as fuck so yeah, and this sword is super durable and strong, inspired by a katana’s durability and a rapier’s gracefulness with a blade that is such a dark purple that it looks black like obsidian and the inscription of the family motto is carved in letters that are ruby red with a black hilt where an image of a drake is engraved in the same ruby red as the family motto (basically it is a Very Deadly Sword that is also Very Pretty with a dark aesthetic)

So Tim gets back to Gotham and one day he’s watching the news and sees The Batman saving the day and what not and sees Robin do a quadruple back flip and figures out their identities and decides that he wants to meet them at some point while on his nightly photography sessions of Gotham architecture; and if he manages to snap a couple of shots of Gotham’s heroes sometimes then that’s a bonus but Tim is mostly focused on capturing the essence of Gotham city (at this point in time when Tim moves back to Gotham he physically looks like 10-12 year old; he did meet Dick at the circus when he looked like he was 4 years old but for the purposes of the timeline Tim, as an Addams, can choose to remain at any age he desires for as long as he wants so while he did appear to be 4 years old at the circus, he had been alive for a couple of years more at this point, this also explains how he can master swords and fencing while physically looking like a 10 year old because he has been practicing for years as well as why he remembers Dick from that night at the circus)

So the timeline continues with Tim figuring out that the Bats are actually his neighbors but instead of staying away from the Waynes, he decides to go ask his parents if he can stay with the neighbors whenever they have to stay later than usual at the company or have to take a short business travel and they talk with Bruce about it and he agrees to take care of Tim, so now Tim has an in to befriend the Waynes and helps smooth out the edges of Dick and Bruce’s relationship so Bruce doesn’t fire Dick from Robin, but rather they talk about their feelings for once and Dick decides he wants to create his own superhero identity and Bruce supports his decision (Tim may or may not have had to talk about how his family happened to be very open about their feelings and worry for one another and how much closer they are due to talking to each other and resolving conflict; Alfred may or may not have been 100% behind Tim every time he made such a conversation) also, Tim is basically a trial run for Dick on becoming a big brother for when Jason arrives

One time Tim asks Dick if he knows how to fence which Dick can’t really answer because technically he knows how to fight with a sword but that’s for vigilante purposes which his civilian self isn’t supposed to know so Dick says that he doesn’t and asks Tim why he wanted to know, Tim proceeds to talk about how his favorite masked hero uses a sword to fight injustice and he has a black cape and a black horse and Bruce comes into the living room they’re in in the middle of Tim’s rambling about his favorite hero using a sword and is Concerned for a hot minute until Tim finishes the rant by saying “. . . and that’s why I like his movie so much, have you seen the Legend of Zorro?” (Cue relief for both Dick and Bruce because for all that they scrambled to put a name to the hero Tim was describing they couldn’t come up with one and were considering the possibility of a new player in the vigilante scene) so then Tim asks Mr. Bruce if he knows how to fence and Bruce says yes and asks if Tim would like to learn cue the “Oh, my uncle taught me how to fence a few years ago and when I lived with them we had a duel at least once a week, it was very fun so I was just wondering if you knew so we could practice if you want to Mr. Bruce”

Dick is 100% on board with this because the idea of Tiny Tim and 6’1” Bruce fencing is hilarious in his mind, Alfred is there to supervise and both Tim and Bruce are provided with the appropriate fencing equipment and protection; Bruce starts off slow and is surprised when Tim manages to beat him before starting to enjoy fencing with someone who can surprisingly keep up with him (Dick is taking pictures because the height difference is just too cute to be ignored and Tiny Tim is adorable in his own mini fencing equipment)

Whenever his parents do have to leave for extended periods of time (any company trip that takes more than 3-5 days qualifies as this) Tim stays with his aunt and uncle, thus starting a fun tradition of having spontaneous fencing duels with his uncle Gomez, basically if one of them is in the library then the other will shout ‘En-garde’ while throwing a sabre towards the other person and engaging in a quick duel; basically, if Tim is reading about the latest poisonous plants produced by Poison Ivy and annotating his research in order to get an idea of what would be a nice gift for his aunt Morticia and Gomez walks into the library then Gomez will grab two of the sabres they have on the wall for this exact purpose while shouting ‘en-garde’ before throwing a sabre at Tim and engaging in a duel, same goes for Tim, it’s almost instinct to the point that Tim has to hold himself back from doing exactly this whenever he sees Bruce in the library of Wayne Manor

Later on, when Jason is already adopted into the Wayne family, Tim still comes over and makes it his sacred mission to teach Jason the art of swords so he has another fencing buddy because “Mr. Bruce isn’t always here and I have decided that we will be friends and you’re pretty cool but knowing how to fight with a sword just ups your coolness level ya know?” So now Jason has smol Tim teaching him how to fence and it’s pretty fun to be able to do a taxing physical activity outside of being Robin with a friend, when Jason gets the hang of fencing Tim decides that he must now advance to the next level: sword fighting (Alfred is always there to supervise and give tips and pointers because he also knows how to fence but chooses to stay in the sidelines and let the young masters have their fun)

The problem with this is that, while the Waynes do have sabres for fencing, they don’t have swords, at least not in their civilian selves, so Tim decides to bring his own swords to teach Jason how to sword fight, Alfred is the first to see Tim’s very own special sword and is both impressed at the craftsmanship and concerned as to why a child has a sword, Jason thinks Tim’s sword is the coolest he has ever seen and Tim is happy to talk about how he made it himself with his uncle’s help when he finally learned all about sword fighting and promises Jason that they can make him his own cool sword when he learns how to sword fight too, Dick also thinks that the sword is a little concerning for a kid to have but he also wants his own cool sword and so now he insists Bruce has to teach him how to sword fight because Tim said he’s not allowed to have his own sword until he learns how to sword fight, Bruce is baffled as to why Tim has a sword, impressed at Tim’s skills in craftsmanship, and a little Concerned as to why Tim’s sword has that Latin inscription on the blade (no Tim, knowing that “we feast in those who would subdue us” is your family motto doesn’t calm me down yet it explains a lot about your mother)

By the time Damian comes along to the family he is very interested in where Jason and Dick got their Very Cool swords from, his father also has one and he wants to have his own Very Cool Sword too, thank you very much, and Tim visits them when Damian is still settling in and asks his customary question of if he knows how to use fence and gets an affirmative answer he asks Bruce if it would be ok for him and Damian to have a fencing duel, Bruce explains the rules to Damian and makes sure that Alfred, Dick, Jason and him are present in order to keep Damian from maiming/killing Tim

The duel does get a little out of hand as Damian gauges that Tim is more skilled than he previously thought so he stops holding back, Tim is positively grinning at this since he always has to hold back with the Waynes in a way that he doesn’t with Uncle Gomez because while an Addams won’t die from a stab to the heart, the same can’t be said for anyone else; the duel ends with Tim winning because he has more experience than Damian but he is positive beaming at how awesome Damian was and how these duels could become a weekly thing before they transition to swords and once Dames graduates from swords he can design his very own sword with Tim’s help as a sort of graduation present for learning how to sword fight and he’s sure that it won’t take too long for Damian to master swordsmanship because he’s basically a natural already and very skilled and this duel was so much fun Damian we have to do this again sometime oh my gosh I want to teach you everything I know it’s gonna be so much fun

And Damian, a poor baby, was mad at having lost to Tim but then Tim hits him with all this excitement and smiles and it’s the promise of getting his own Very Cool Sword is what gets him to agree to learn from Tim, it’s not that he feels warm at getting compliments from someone who also likes swords and knows what he’s doing in a fight, he definitely doesn’t find Tim cool at all, he’s just making use of a resource and he will learn everything Tim has to offer and become better than both Grayson and Todd, that’s all (that’s not all because it turns out that Damian is the younger brother Tim never had and he takes Dami under his wing and helps him adjust to a life outside the League of Assassins and how to find hobbies to enjoy; Damian won’t admit it but he is also Very Attached in to Timothy and feels like he won’t be judged for his past with him and he is also a fellow sword enthusiast so yeah)

Tim decides to do the same thing to Damian and initiating a quick fencing duel whenever he sees that Damian is in the gardens (no fencing inside the Manor on pain of Alfred’s eyebrow of disappointment); this helps Damian with the transition of learning to have fun and also learn to realize that not everybody is an enemy, it also helps keep up his training and burn some energy whenever he gets restless and helps him bond with Tim more

The idea was that Tim and Uncle Gomez would surprise each other with spontaneous fencing duels by shouting ‘en-garde’ at the other person whenever they find one another in the library, and now it turned into a fluff AU where Tim isn’t Robin but he’s still a family friend to the Waynes and an Addams and helps bring the family closer through his love of swords because yes

[friggsdc]

Title: little delinquent pt i

part i | part ii 

Warnings: Female!reader (bat!sis), mostly family fluff, AU, hurt/comfort

word count: 3000~

It had Bruce and Dick sharing a look for a moment before the latter spoke up, “It’s not like I’m against continuing to expand the family, but…” he eyed the child you held nervously, “please don’t start bringing home every child you find…” he tilted his head, “he’s bad enough.” Bruce settled a light glare at his first son (that definitely wasn’t what Bruce was thinking), though Dick was stilled by the way your eyes narrowed at him instead.

“His name is Terrence,” that was all you said, brushing past as they were suddenly on guard at the inherited Wayne-scowl on your face.

a/n: Terry as a baby tho with an overly protective big sis/mom reader… I can’t get this out of my head lol. Also batfam are very close with bat!sis reader in this, so lotsa fluffy sibling intimacy. Because I want the fluff haha.

(it actually turned into more plot than fluff sighs)

 idk pairings/haven’t thought of that, I just didn’t know how to tag it so i used pairing tags??? lol despite that, I don’t feel comfortable putting Damian, Bruce, nor Terry in the tags ee;;;; Jason’s not in this chapter but he’s in the tags anyway sighs, he comes in around ch3.

-

A light lit up on one of the many monitors in the cave, a box popping up not a moment later with the alert, attracting the costumed people in the room. Bruce was second to the computers, Tim immediately making certain that the alert said what he thought it said, “Good. She’s back.” He sighed heavily, relieved before trudging towards the car port. Sure he was upset, they all were, but at the moment they were just glad their sister was back and alive. She’d get quite the talking to about scaring them all like this, especially from Tim and Bruce, later.

It almost felt like an eternity as her bike came into view, skidding to a comfortable stop with minimal sound. She took a moment to adjust herself, and they didn’t miss the small form clinging to her frontside. It was aggravating how slow and careful she was being, how slowly she got up from her bike as if the young child she had with her was the most fragile treasure. She shifted so that the bundle was curled up in her arms, messy black hair hiding most features as their face buried in her shoulder, frightened. The kid had to be about a year old or so, they assumed, quiet and trembling in her hold.

Damian stood next to their father, annoyance on his face as he bit back harsh words. Of all the people in the world, like Alfred, his sister was someone he never wanted to hurt. He couldn’t even imagine such a thing. “You turned off your comms,” Bruce stated, she only nodded, not usually one for hiding what she was up to. He went to open his mouth again, but Damian’s cold tone beat him to it, “you were missing all night.” She nodded at him again, lips pursed to keep herself from saying anything.

She was struggling with her feelings right now, incredibly upset at the way her family was staring at her, as if she herself were a child. It was really hard for her right now to be the loving big sister she’s always been since coming to live at the manor. All she wanted to do was forgive them for their mistrust, or to tell them everything to take that distrust away. She hated feeling like a bad guy, and she did her best to stand firm on how she felt, but her resolve was crumbling fast in their presence.

You couldn’t help it, your family had that kind of effect on you, always weak to them and their needs.

You would always forgive them. Always.

Tim was first to rush over, quickly pulling you into a hug (careful of the boy), and a slight tremble in his tensed hands kept you from pulling back. He rested his head on the shoulder opposite the kid’s head, arms refusing to move as the other three strode over. “Stupid, where were you?” Tim mumbled into your shoulder, your response was to bury your cheek in his hair, “I was… we were so worried. You don’t just go dark on us like that, especially not on me, you know that.”

He shifted his head to look you in the face, foreheads pressing together. Reaching up, he gently took off your domino mask so your eyes could meet, him doing his best to stare you down. A silent conversation began, your somewhat desperate look of, ‘I’m sorry, I have my reasons,’ and his shoulders sagging a little, ‘I’m still not happy about this.’

It had Bruce and Dick sharing a look for a moment, the latter speaking up, “It’s not like I’m against continuing to expand the family, but…” he eyed the child you held nervously, “please don’t start bringing home every child you find…” Dick tilted his head, “he’s bad enough.” Bruce settled a light glare at his first son (that definitely wasn’t what Bruce was thinking), though Dick was stilled by the way your eyes narrowed at him instead.

“His name is Terrence,” that was all you said, brushing past as they were suddenly on guard at the inherited Wayne-scowl on your face.

“Hey, uhm…” Dick coughed nervously now, stomach flipping and looked between Tim and Bruce, “has she… ever made a face like that before?” Tim frowned, shaking his head, “you actually upset her. That’s an accomplishment, Richard.” Tim went to change so he could follow you, wanting to know everything about what you had been doing and where you had been. “I… meant it to be humorous…” Damian just scowled at him, “it was in poor taste, Grayson,” he turned, wanting to change before following you and Tim, curious. Dick just sighed into his hand, knowing he’d have to make it up to you later, or the others would hold it against him.

“Babybat, too? Ugh.”

Usually you handled his joking around without much issue, what the heck?

“Good job. Whelmed yet?,” Bruce turned back towards the bat computer, intent on discovering things himself (and to alert the others, still out looking, that you were safe). After all, there was only going to be so much you’d say (call it a father’s intuition). Dick frowned at his father making fun of him, unamused, “...haha” He grumbled and went to change, following after his siblings with a yawn finding it’s escape (they’d been frantic all night, looking everywhere).

-

“You understand we’re not letting you out of our sight after this, right?” his ears perked up at Damian’s tone, uncertain if he was joking or not. Rounding the corner into a smaller sitting room, he stopped before leaning broad shoulders against the doorframe. “That’s terrifying, Dami.” Dick grinned at the glare his youngest brother sent him, eyes turning to you and the child on your lap apologetically, “Sorry, about before.”

You only waved your hand as if to dismiss the earlier conversation, a sign that Dick took to push off the wall and walk over for a better view, “So, Terrence, huh?” You only nodded, stuck in your thoughts, thinking things over. All your attention was kept on the child snuggled up against you, staring at the other’s in the room with a mixture of curiosity and fear.

Dick’s brow raised now that he got a good look.

“Okay, I know I said I was sorry, but…” Damian’s fingers strained to not curl into a fist as he gave Dick a hard, pointed stare, but he didn’t go farther as your hand patted his arm. “Black hair and blue eyes,” Tim sighed at Dick, “I’m just saying.” He shrugged, stopping himself from wondering aloud if the family was cursed.

You could only huff in exasperation as you buried your face in Terrence’s hair, the child wiggling to look up with huge blues. You smiled down at him and leaned back into the cushions, letting him rest against you at an incline, bouncing your leg lightly. His small hands readjusted to grasp onto your shirt, head using your chest as a pillow while he kept watching the men and scrunched his nose.

“So, where’d he come from?” Dick sat across form you, seeing as Damian was sitting next to you on the small couch, Tim in the chair to your other side (all your recon gear was in a pile on the floor next to you). A frown settled on your face, staring at the floor as you kept your face buried in the child’s hair, then shook your head. Stubborn. Tim frowned at you and the child, arms crossed in contemplation, and Damian was staring at the child wide-eyed in amazement (he was so inexperienced). Dick crossed his arms and leaned back, biting the inside of his cheek, “…hey,” your attitude was worrying him, you’d never been this closed off before.

Your eyes shifted from the floor to look at Dick, cycling to Damian and then to Tim, straight faced with having made your decision (even though you had already made it hours earlier). Looking to your family, you took a deep breath to brace yourself, “he’s mine.” All three of the men stiffened, Damian shaking his head, “you weren’t pregnant. Impossible.” 

When your eyes met his, he squinted slightly, your head tilting forwards, his turning away, “tt.” Dick was a bit jealous at how you had such a strong connection with Tim and Damian, wishing he could join in on the exchange of expressions (unfortunately, his innate big brother intuition with his siblings only took him so far. Living in Blüdhaven meant he wasn’t as involved in family as he wanted).

Tim was being incredibly careful as he sized you up, taking in the kid’s appearance and the way you were keeping your eyes on the men like a hawk. Damian had relaxed next to you, shifting his weight to lean against your side as he began poking and prodding at the child. In turn, Terrence just tried to grab at Damian’s fingers with his small hands, at times trying to bite him when his finger booped him on the nose (Damian noticed and started turning it into a game, as if he were playing chicken with a cat and it’s claws).

Terrence became a bit more comfortable, too focused on Damian’s antics, and he let out a small laugh, causing Damian to freeze in place. He hadn’t expected it, too absorbed in the game he had made up and instantly his ears turned red, suddenly self-conscious. The finger that had been frozen in place was hovering dangerously close to Terrence’s face and, taking the invitation, the child bit down. He would have yelped if he hadn’t been so well trained, barely able to contain himself, Damian jerked his finger out of the child’s biting range.

Dick cracked a smile and you did your best to not laugh, Tim however was studying his youngest brother, it was cute when he acted his age.

“So, he’ll be staying here then?” You nodded at Dick, “think B’s gonna be okay with this?” you shrugged, it wouldn’t matter, you’d refuse to give the kid up, “So…” Dick shifted, failing to keep his face straight, “Damian’s not the baby anymore.” As wary of the kid as he was, he couldn’t pass up the moment to tease his favorite brother.

“…Grayson,” Damian glared at Dick before reluctantly looking at the kid, silently agreeing. He wasn’t the baby anymore, “we… will need to outfit a nursery room, then.” Dick couldn’t hide his smile, letting it spread on his face at his younger brother’s quick acceptance, “guess I’m gonna hafta visit more often then if I want to be the best uncle.” Both Tim and Damian’s heads turned in unison at Dick, eyes narrowing in a way that made Dick want to step back, nervous.

“No way, I’ll be--” Tim was cut off,

“As if you could be better than me, Grayson,” he sent a pointed look at Tim, “I will be the best uncle.”

You were just glad your brothers were taking this so well.

“Sure.” Tim deflated a bit as Bruce walked into the room, looking at his boys before turning to you and the child, “If you wouldn’t mind, I’d like to speak with—” Just like Tim, he was cut off, “I won’t tell you anything about him.” Bruce frowned at your stubbornness, not liking that this was how you chose to respond to the situation. “You’re not getting out of this, we’re going to have a talk,” he stopped himself, correcting his remark after a moment’s thought, “…a few talks, actually.”

“No.” you frowned and he crossed his arms with a more serious ‘I’m your father, do as I say,” look about him. “It’s not up for debate.”

The brothers just looked back and forth, opting to stay quiet instead of getting involved. It did no good when the two of you got stubborn with one another.

“You can’t take him from me.” Your father’s stare softened slightly, shaking his head, “we need to discuss that, too.” Honestly, he wasn’t as interested in whether or not you kept the child, the problem was how quiet you were being about him. Something wasn’t right about the situation, and his preliminary searches came up with nothing. 

He only had a first name, it wasn’t much to go on.

Terrence was staring at Bruce, one of his chubby little hands left your top to shove his thumb in his mouth. The unwavering stare the kid was giving him… if he didn’t know any better, Bruce would think he was being challenged. It took all of Bruce’s will power not to look down at Terrence, he wasn’t great with children, let alone an infant. He was broken from his thoughts of whether or not the kid actually was challenging him, or if he just had no clue about what to do in this situation (he didn’t want to admit it though) when you finally replied.

“You won’t find out where I was.” It was a statement.

He studied and trained hard to make hiding from anyone and anything look natural, you seemed to have been born with the (suddenly annoying) skill.

“Your thoroughness is worrisome.” He sighed, feeling this was going to be a bit… difficult.

The siblings all shared an amused laugh before Dick got back to his feet, another yawn escaping, “I’ll be in my old room, need some post-mission Z’s.” He felt like a zombie walking out of the room, hoping he’d beat the sun before it got too high. “See you and the kid in the… morning…?” He had almost no interest in trying to make his brain work, already resigned to bed. 

“Then, you as well.” Bruce nodded to Damian and with a sigh, he stood up, “alright, father. Good night,” before Damian could leave the room, you were suddenly standing by his side. “Rest sounds good right now,” you avoided Bruce’s disappointed look, watching as Tim rocked forward from the chair to his feet before stretching.

Giving out a small hum, you quickly retreated into the hall with Damian, waiting for neither Tim or Bruce (mainly Bruce). As you left, Bruce turned to Tim, questioning what was going on, “Sorry, but…” he started, “I have no clue about this one…” Tim scratched the back of his head, staring at the floor sheepishly. He felt at a loss, not having been given the silent treatment by you since you were kids.

You were literally in each other’s business all the damned time.

-

Damian walked comfortably next to you, eyes drooping (even though he’d never admit it), and you dropped him off at his bedroom door.

“Night, Dami.”

“Good night,” you gave him a small hug, ruffling his hair as his ears flushed for the second time that night. “You’re lucky I’m going to sleep…” he huffed, hair now a complete mess. He entered his room, leaving you alone to the halls, “I think a quick shower would be nice…” you were walking towards your room now, intent on getting comfortable and relaxing before getting some shut eye. Dick was right, it was an exhausting night.

Hand on the door of your room, staring at the child struggling to stay awake in your arms, you shook your head.

It was worth it.

And you’d do it again. Every time.

-

Tim entered the room hesitantly, no knocking, he was certain you wouldn’t answer, anyway, but he checked to see if it was okay before closing the door behind him. Looking around to gather his bearings, as you had the light off, curtains drawn, and it was nominally darker than the halls, he spotted the top of your head over the edge of the bed. Quickly, quietly, he crept over to stand a few feet from you, but your eyes stayed on the sleeping child in your lap, refusing to look up.

He settled himself closely next to you, sliding down to sit on the floor and leaning against the side of the bed, shoulder rubbing your own. He looked to the child in your lap as well, then gave a small hum before lightly nudging you.  

He wasn’t able to see well, but after adjusting to the lack of light, it became easier to understand his surroundings. It became easier to see your features, to see the kid in your arms, and it was easier to grasp the way you frowned in anticipation when turning to look him in the face.

He wasn’t certain why, but he braced for something, suddenly uneasy.

Your lips moved to form the word, no sound coming out, too terrified the walls would listen in, ‘Cadmus.’

Tim’s eyes widened in panic, the child’s big blues flashing in his mind, and it suddenly felt like everything was coming together. It was the one piece of useful information he was missing, the one piece that you made certain they wouldn’t be able to follow when you disappeared for the night. He looked to the sleeping child in your arms, then back up at you, brain going into overload. How...?

He understood now.

His hand found yours, squeezing tightly, reassuringly.

You slumped against his side, relieved.

He understood.

[cunty-cuntasaurus-rex]

Ok so here is a fanfic idea I had. DC, BatSuper yada yada here we go!

Bruce’s targeted by the court of owls and dies and Talia steals his body to resurrect him and he’s stuck with the league for a lil bit, Dick is taken by the court of owls and is slowly becoming talon. Bruce manages to escape and fucks up the league a little while doing so cuz he’s pit mad and goes and most definitely and completely fucks up the court of owls cuz he’s still pit mad and worried about Dick they go home and manage to get most of the programming out but they’re never quite the same, just a little more brutal. they’re very codependent (???) but Robin grows up and becomes Nightwing. Bruce being an empty nester as soon as he sees Jason stealing is like this is my child now. and Dick is annoyed he didn’t know about his brother for so long but he’s so happy! ok so he was annoyed at first but he didn’t even try to kill him or seriously anyway and they got close and then Jason died. the joker dies cuz like Bruce has found the self control to not kill indiscriminately but that fucker killed his son yanno. and the pit stays in your head but he doesn’t try to bring him back. i think he considers using the pit on Jason but ultimately decides not to because he’d have to deal with the league and they’d all probably be their prisoners or something i dunno. so Talia comes in steals Jason’s body and revives him in the Lazarus pit and poisons him against the family or at least tries to. I’ve decided in this world instead of adopting Tim only a few months after Jason’s death he takes him in like a year or two later. Jason stays with the league for let’s say 5 years and meets Damian during that time. They become brothers during his stay. Like this is part of the reason Damian hates Tim so much because he’s like first you took my brothers place, and then you took mine, f u. Anyways Talia hears about this and is like yes I can bring him fully onto my side mwahahahaha. So she does and it works and is like finally I can get back at Bruce and sics him (Jason) on the new Robin hurt comfort with Jason realizing he’s becoming his worst nightmare by whaling on Tim, the batfam gets through to him and he goes home. Stay a drug lord vigilante though. They don’t talk about it at family dinners tho. Then Damian comes along attacking everybody and only getting the drop on Tim cuz he hasn’t been training as long and they realize they fucked up. Jason takes the forefront and helps explain “the rules” to Damian and how they’re different from the league. And they’re all happy family

K so on to Clark, our dear Superman. So I like to think in this world the justice league was formed just before the start of this story (bruce dying) so they’re not close and this is more comics verse so nobody knows the bat’s identity. Clark and he we’re getting kinda close but weren’t really yet and he had like a puppy crush on him. B disappears and clark is sad and tries to look for him but can’t find him. ( As a side note Alfred is saying bruce is on a long trip and that he took dick with him??? I dunno but they’re accounted for someway or another. Or their deaths were announced and Alfred had some tricks up his sleeve to make it look like b&r were still out there??? We’ll hand wave it away) can’t find him but he moves on a bit. Like he had a crush on Lois anyways but he still held batman in his heart. He ends up becoming friends with Alfred because he still looks for Batman and that’s how he finds out his secret identity.( Batman knew cuz he searched for the all of the JL’s. He’s paranoid like that) but finally he goes to visit Alfred and hears heartbeats very similar to theirs. Knocks Alfred let’s him in and boom it’s them. So B and Clark grow closer but Clark thinking bruce isn’t interested and really loving Lois, stays with her. and then Kon comes into existence. Clark is terrified but also like I’m a father now. Lois isn’t as with it but she does her best to be there for Clark and by extension Kon. But it’s also kind of obvious that she isn’t really jiving with it ( Lois should not be a villain in this story) She and Clark are growing apart and Clark is going more to Bruce and while they were best friends there’s more of a romantic undertone now but they refuse to acknowledge it and Bruce isn’t letting the kids say shit and is ignoring Alfred. Lois and Clark have still been doing the do and now there’s gonna be a baby. And it’s Jon and Lois wanted this baby k, but the longer she has him she sees that she’s not the motherly type and she and Clark aren’t too close. Everything with Jason happens and Damian comes and is best friends with Jon.

It really starts because of Jason. He’s back and he sees that uncle Clark isn’t really in love with his wife tho they are best friends, and is kinda nostalgic and remembering he and dicks 115 step plan to get him and his dad together. Talks to his siblings about it and d is enthusiastic, Tim wants to spend more time with Kon and same for Damian. They hope it doesn’t come to death for Lois if only because of Jon but if it happens oh well they’ll comfort him. And they’re bat kids so they’re just as sneaky as their dad. Bruce is forcibly oblivious cuz he does not wanna know and is enjoying the time with Clark and Clark is just like it is healthier for me not to know what his kids Bruce’s kids are up too. And they get a divorce Clark and Lois because the spark just isn’t there but they’re still best friends. And the kids make sure it’ll be permanent. Maybe not with murder.

The End

anyways TLDR: the whole point of this is that dark batfam are conspiring to make Clark their step dad and are perfectly ok with killing Lois if it comes down to it.

[batarangsoundsdumb]

yet another ask dump yeehaw!

do you ever think that jay's mother was one of those bitch who believes in horoscope and tarots and things like that and so he believes in these things too, or it is just me projecting?

sheila haywood took one look at jason's birthchart said 'nah this won't do' and left.

Wait, but what happens when the justice league does find out that Bruce and John fucked? Lmao it sounds like it would be hilarious, really, I don’t want a justice league that doesn’t make fun of Bruce for like his entire life.

barry runs out of the meeting immediately and comes back with an entire sti testing kit. diana fully seriously wants bruce to get tested while bruce is sitting there like 'come on guys, you're being ridiculous, i already checked twice'

john is standing in the corner clearly offended while bruce is just like 'don't even say anything, constantine, you fucked a shark'

tim was like "i'm drake now" and everyone was like ahh so your fursona is a dragon and tim was like pffffft no. ducks.

on the one hand, good for him, on the other hand, bro, how do you still have a secret identity when your superhero name is just your last name,,,,

Your fic on ao3 was GOLD PLEASE CONTINUE I loved Dinah's cameo btw ( @purple-vixen

thanks so much! i already continued but this ask is like 10 years old because i'm a notorious procrastinator (also yes! i love dinah so much aahhhhhhhhhhhh)

I've FINALLY been watching the Batman animated series and I gotta say, after watching "the gray ghost" I am CONVINCED that Batman is a closeted super hero geek who was 100% freaking out the first time he met Superman and is just REALLY good at hiding it.

bruce internally: holy fuck holy shit holy fuck holy shit holy fuck holy shit holy fuck holy shit holy fuck holy shit bruce externally: get out of my city, alien

AHHH ur multimedia fic is the only thing that brings me happiness anymore continue it forever pls

uhh thanks, but can't continue it forever because my attention span is that of a toddler on crack on a good day and i can't function without at least 10 things going on at the same time and music in the background

Oi, so I'm getting into dc and watching batman the animated series, and they use fruitcake a lot. Which I thought was very funny and wanted to share w you - Denilla

wait like fruitcake (food) or fruitcake (derogatory) ?

young justice 🤝 teen titans slut shaming batman

tim drake and dick grayson to their respective teams 'you guys stop it, that's my dad'

Happyhoganon: If an eighty year old Batman had fought crime in Gotham City for decades and the only threats to him and the city lately are a wheel chair bounded Penguin, your usual purse snatchers and a few con artists popping up every now and then, how well could the Dark Knight do in maintaining the peace in Gotham despite him being just somewhat fit to do that as an elderly man (which says A LOT given how old he is)

uhh he'll probably do what my grandpa does and that is ruthlessly prank them until they die of shame.

in the death in the family interactive movie there's an ending where Jason is tasked with raising Damian and he decides he's gonna raise Damian to take down the waynes and al ghuls which uh maybe isn't great BUT the idea of Jason raising Damian... PRICELESS. CHAOTIC. I just need more people to know about this :)

yes i saw that wow holy shit but jason would accidentally drop damian on his head one (1) hour in and jason just yeets him into the lazarus pit.

Headcanon: The Penguin has a really hard time fighting any of the Robins because of his avian obsession means there's always a small part of his mind that's like "Birb. Child. Protect" ( @subspacecadet )

as soon as dick becomes nightwing the penguin is like 'you know what, fuck this dude' and shoots at him.

Y'all talking about King Shark dating Constantine, let's not forget about John literally hooking up with Satan

listen there's a clear difference between monsterfucker and satanfucker in that king shark is literally a shark and satan still looks like a normal dude

Does everyone in Gotham think Batman is a teen dad?

everyone in gotham thinks batman has been around since gotham was founded, but they do think that bruce wayne is actually a teen father and dick grayson's biological dad.

why. why would you do that fancast when you know it will only hurt people

what? i loved my fancast it was really well done. i did it with good representation in mind and i really managed that with alfred pennyworth being ✨italian✨

Seeing james charles a jason gave me psychic damage how dare you i need to wash my eyes

well that's a you problem isn't it?

do you think dick grayson thirst tweets about nightwing just to annoy his family/cause problems on purpose in general?

he thinks nightwing is hot, next question.

holy jiminy cricket batman, its as cold as the good lords ass crack in here!!

i- what? this is why i don't fuck with english expressions it's way too goddamn weird

Brooooooo, your teen dad!Bruce au is soooo good. I've got brainrot.

Honestly if you ever write anymore, I'd read that shit twice. Sign me the fuck up. Good stuff, Good Stuff.

uh yeah i'm thinking about writing a fic, but i have exams coming up and i don't wanna fail because that would suck. but after i'll certainly be writing more tho

your teen dad AU is so great! bruce acting like a big brother for all of like a week before he's telling everyone about his son. what if in the AU dick meets the JL because they need to rescue him? maybe he's in trouble/kidnapped at a gala and bruce starts calling for JL. clark finds him and has to fly with dick to bring him home - that's how dick and clark meet and superman becomes dick's fave hero. he goes around the manor thinking he can fly with a red blanket draped around him like a cape.

actually- if you want a young dad! bruce fic with like that kinda stuff(just with damian) go check uhh- in for a penny by cdelphiki. it's really good and bruce is like 24/25-ish. (and dick's there!!!)

This account has solely convinced me that Tim is a trash goblin ( @hamilcat-and-magic-turtle )

because he is. that boy has slept in dumpsters on multiple occasions even if he is the son of a billionaire.

Okay but when you said victory dance I did think of the whole justice league defeating the big bad and then they all start flossing

well that's exactly what hal jordan does and that's why batman uses a gun now. no but the victory dance in my opinion is like the 'we're all in this together' dance from high school musical.

The horrors in Invincible s1 was nothing compared to the comics, I cant wait for s2

oh well okay, i mean i personally react to horror and violence by laughing awkwardly so i can't wait to be called a monster for accidentally laughing at a mass murder.

I'm currently watching Batman: The Brave and The Bold and- Bruce is just talking about Oliver like he's an old love (@nightwings-kid)

okay im going to watch that lmao that's totally and completely in character for him tho.

The invincible comic is like super gratuitous with its violence so much so I'm shocked the show was able to adapt it in a faithful way! Anyway had the show been live action it absolutely wouldn't have the same impact as it does as an animated show and I'm so glad so many people agree with me on that

also because a live action casting would've been like uhh amanda stenberg for amber, the dude- the guy from the supernatural but with a mustache for omni-man, and scarlet johanssen for debbie grayson

Debbie grayson is a milf, yes. You're welcome for the invincible propoganda, now you can questions your life. Bruce def seems like the perfect father next to Omni-man. Like they really took a rip off justice league and I was like well, now I'm attached even tho I was like hah I know who they're supposed to be. And then bam- death gore death gore gore gore sad Mark grayson just had to have daddy issues. Why does every character have daddy issues. I'm sick of the attacks

because daddy issues make a person arguably funnier, that's why i'm not even remotely funny (haha good dad flex). i liked that it was dark contextually, but not in the colouring, bc i hate when it's like 'uh yeah graphic murder and now a shot so dark you have to sit in a dark room and squint at the screen to faintly see the characters. (like dcau ugh)

About the Wayne insurance, for a moment I thought you would put the video with moans over the waves.

i mean- i could've done that, but rick rolling seemed more family friendly.

Its the first time in forever that im surpise rickrolled, i usually expect it. Congratulations (i really should know better this is tumblr)

i get rickrolled so often but i actually like the song so i dont really give a fuck

Actually, my information about Damian and John's kids is outdated because it was revealed that the old men telling the kids stories about the Supersons were actually Jon and Damian the whole time. I was blinded by my thirst for Grandpa!Bruce Wayne but I was wrong... I liked my version better, tbh (@artemisa97)

fair enough. but i'd honestly like to see damian and jon getting together, just because it's a really fun dynamic and their friendship was really cute when they were kids. (also idk maybe it would be nice to have one (1) main batfam/superfam character that's not cishet)

How am i JUST finding your blog skdskfkd you're so fucking funny and ur takes are hot

i thought u were calling me hot :( but youre not :( crime detected (but lmao thanks)

So I have depression and I swear that your memes are one of the few things that have made me laugh so thank you 💛🥺 (@katekanebadass)

aw you're welcome, and i hope you're doing okay!

The metropolis memes are so funny, I love them 💀😌

i think metropolis is also so fucking funny it deserves more attention imagine having your entire police force being upstaged by an alien from kansas and his kids

as an american i feel your complete lack of knowledge of us geography is just so sexy (platonic) ❤️

thanks so much (i also don't know any other geography, i'm not kidding, like you can tell me you're from hungary and it will just blank, there will be nothing that comes to mind)

In the DC universe they don't say "Can't have shit in Detroit" they say "Can't have shit in Gotham"

this just reminds me of that guy whose porch got stolen like the steps to his door, and i'm thinking of people living in gotham and waking up without a front door and going "can't have shit in gotham"

honestly all i know about chicago is the bean, so. what would gotham's famous sculpture be?

gigantic gargoyle statue in front of one of the police precincts because a villain thought it was a smart way to keep the police inside, but it's too heavy to move.

why tf do people go on about how batman "works alone" or how he's the "lone wolf" when he like 38290202 members in his family

bc people think it's cool that a grown man in his 30s has no friends or family instead of calling it what it is (sad)

Bruce is gotham's sugar daddy

why would say something so controversial yet so brave.

my favorite batfamily fanfictions are the ones where they use their shitty codenames, unironically, in any context

dick: gerard way are you in position, gerard way are you in position

tim: for the last fucking time, my codename is 'totally not count olaf' this week, abbafan 3000

dick: shut up my codename isn't 'abbafan 3000'

dick: it's 'abbafan number 1' and you know it

I have a feeling Tim drake is ur favourite batfamily member but okay u don't have favs if u say so ok

i mean he is, i won't deny it. but i love each and every one of the batfam just the same, i just have a weak spot for short dumbass nerds, because i'm a short dumbass nerd.

Omg i fuckin love boy meets world too fam shsjkfk

bro boy meets world was the shit!!! it was just fire and awesome and so fucking great like bro. it was so good im not even going to be accepting criticism

you know I find the whole "joker completes batman" thing a bit disgusting considering the horrendous stuff the batfamily went through because of the joker and let's not get started on the "joker has a point" thing like yeah he's this cool complex villain but he's absolutely batshit crazy

like yes! i get what you mean the joker just fucking sucks man he doesn't do shit for batman's character or the batfam he's literally just annoying as fuck. like the joker has a point' shit is so stupid. i will accept 'magneto was right' because he fucking was and i think he didn't do anything wrong, but joker? he's just like that. he's not even cool and complex he's just a weirdo with a bleach kink at this point.

ALSO YOUR RACISM POST- SO TRUE BESTIE

thanks bestie, i'm glad you agree.

in today's essay of why I think cass should become batman- I was thinking Tim would probably be the most efficient batman in many ways but I also think he wouldn't want to be batman tbh none of the batfamily members would want to be batman because they're trying to outgrow him but cass is the one who wants to represent the symbol that is batman

absofuckinglutely i will say it again and again that cass represents the batsymbol more than anyone in the batfam, in batgirl (2000) she literally didn't care about anything else than bruce's oath to not kill, she thought the batsymbol was more important than anything in gotham. she's just an excellent character because her motivation to not kill is not 'i'm scared i can't come back from it' or 'well my dad says no murder so i'll go along with it' but that she's killed somebody as a young child and she never wants to kill a human ever again and that's so fucking beautiful for a new batman like yes.

need more cass, duke and tim inclusion in gothamite memes

yes yes, a tall order of cass, duke and tim coming up in 1-14 business days

oldest to youngest batfam members cus I'm confused as shit

okay order of being taken in: dick, jason, tim, cass, damian, duke order of age: alfred, bruce, dick, cass, jason, tim, duke, damian (though cass and jason are around the same age general consensus is that cass is a little older)

I'm so confused Steph is a redhead?? like how was it that hard to get this right? the source material is literally right there and free

cw is jared, 19

do you receive anon hate? if so, how do you deal with it

uh no, i'm not remotely popular enough to get anon hate and i also don't say a lot of things that would attract anon hate, but i do send anon hate to @the-real-peter-parker because he forgot about the specialists from winx club

Wait how many languages do you speak??

uhh- 5 if you include latin, but that's a dead language and i'm really bad at it. but english, my native language, german, and french also, tho german and french not fluently.

You can mix aguaepanela with aguardiente 😈 and is tasty

okay but now i'm curious if the liquor deserves the 😈 emoji or if that's a you problem. but i googled it and it looks like something you'd take one sip of and then not remember the rest of your evening.

[headcans-oneshots-and-stuff]

Bataunt x Harley Quinn... (HC)

Requested by my internet wife/best friend @sirkekselord​:  And just so you won't forget... Even tho she is good she is friends with a lot of villains like Catwoman, Poisen Ivy and well Harley. After she broke it off with the Joker they come together and Harley transforms into a Antihero I guess. Only Alfred, Jason and Damien know that she is dating Harley because let's be honest she knows the others wouldn't be fine with it. They wanna get married and Bataunt finally has to tell the fam.

Okay so you and your brother couldn’t have more different ways of handeling things

Bruce is the always stoic who’s very stern about his view of whats right and not while you’re just on the sideline chilling

So you honestly have more ‘antihero/villain’ friends than heros

You were kind of Jason’s cheerleader when he came back which was the reason the two of you are really close to this day

But yeah, you were like a mediator between the villains and heros of Gotham for things that didn’t really consern any big bad plans

You and the sirens were pretty good friends honestly

Like you sometimes even joined them on their schemes, even though you always kept it somewhat lawful

And you and Harls kind of started to bond

To be honest you may or may not started to get feelings for

insert ‘ah shit here we go again’ meme

And then it happens

The big break up

Harley goes on a little rampage

and then she comes to you

Stands at your door with only her bat and the clothes on her back while crying her eyes out

Of course you take her in

and you take care of her

and she may or may not just lived with you from there on

Luckily for you, no one beside Jason and Damian visited you at your place since you went to the manor (your childhood home) just about every three days 

And those two were pretty chill with Harley being there after the initial shock

The first few months it’s somewhat painful for you actual, because you love this crazy woman that’s currently crying after her lunatic ex

And even when she’s finally over him, it’s still hard for you because you believe that she doesn’t see you as more than a friend

But she doens’t 

It’s only a question of time until the tension get’s to much and theres smooching

So let’s change your mental relationship status from single to in love with a crazy lady

You tell Jason and Damian since they come over, and Alfred figures it out, but other than that you keep it really low-key

It’s like that for a few months, maybe even years, but Harley is an extremely spontainous person so it isn’t surprising that she just fucking proposes to you while you’re chilling at home or out and about

And who are you to say no

The only problem is that now may or may not be the time to tell the rest of your family about the whole deal

You planned it out quite detailed, invited them to your apartement while Harleen was out and had a whole speech written

But GUESS WHO COMES BURTSING IN LIKE: “Honey I forgot my Bat, I have to talk to the landlord anyway”

Obviously Bruce isn’t happy

But you’re quick at shutting him down

“WHO CAN’T KEEP IT IN HIS PANTS EVERYTIME YOU SEE SELINA? HOW IS THAT ANY DIFFERENT? I’M JUST ACTUALLY SETTLING DOWN!”

Bruce is kinda pouty, but he get’s your point

Honestly the other ones know they can’t convince you that this is a bad idea or something so they don’t object 

But you’re already in a whole monologue like:

“Is she a killer? Well, yes.- Is she crazy? Also yes. Did I have a point? Shit no, but I really fucking love her.”

Harly is in the background with a fake moustache cheering you on

Bruce is also able to admit that Harleen did change her way and that he is kind of a hypocrite. 

And there’s no power in this world that will keep you and Harly from tying that damn knot!!!