#i was SO paranoid it was so weird bc it was so brief

[catkin-morgs-kookaburralover]

should I sometime share the absolutely out-of-my-mind paranoid drawing I did while I was in the psych ward in October or no

[menlove]

What do you think actually happened between John and Paul that caused John to become so bitter and vindictive towards Paul? If I remember correctly, the prevailing theory of John being rejected by Paul was actually conceived to retroactively 'explain ' John's behavior because otherwise it seems inexplicable why he would turn on so completely on the person who had been arguably his closest friend, if not lover. However, it's evident from Paul's lyrics and interview to Hunter Davies that he is entirely confused and hurt by John's behavior. Like he even complains everyone always looks to him for blame but nobody sees how much he was hurt by John. I'm not trying to take any sides here of course, both John and Paul had their faults and issues which complicated their relationship but genuinely curious to hear what your theory is.

honestly? bpd. like I barely even think of it as a theory, although ofc it is, bc sooooo many people agree that john could have Easily been diagnosed w bpd

like there's a thing called splitting w bpd where you just. like on a Dime you can't stand someone. and this can be very brief (I've split on people and it lasted like an hour) or permanent but it's very common. like you go every quickly from idealization to demonization of a person. or complete apathy (which is my personal kryptonite rip)

not only that but there's quite a few paul quotes where he talks about the fact that john started "slagging him off" as a way to distance himself from paul/the beatles and sort of "prove" to yoko that he was entirely devoted to her. which also makes sense to me as a bpd cunt bc I've unfortunately done that too 😭 and it's not necessarily an act either, it's just like.......... your brain can't make room for the way you feel for a New Person and an Old Person so you start analyzing everything that Old Person did and finding every flaw and magnifying it and blowing it up until you start feeling bitter or angry and suddenly in your mind someone that was once your world is like. some kind of villain out of a storybook.

and this is very very difficult to deal with and he wasn't really........ getting any help or outside people telling him that his view of paul/the beatles was being distorted. yoko was also pretty paranoid & from several sources encouraged his bitterness/paranoia (which isn't a dunk on her- I'm just a firm believer that she was a Complicated Person and villifying OR deifying is just weird and racist). not to Mention the scream therapy stuff, where I'm Pretty sure he himself has even said he was encouraged to pick apart his life and relationships and find Issues.

so you've got someone whose brain is already a goddamn game of mouse trap telling him that if he's not w paul/the beatles anymore he Has to hate him, surrounded by people encouraging that line of thought, and hounded by media asking him about it and pitting him against paul

and with that in mind, I do think it was also a bit exaggerated by the media. it was definitely encouraged, that's for sure. but even if john didn't Hate Paul, that's how it would be portrayed bc it made a more dramatic and interesting story. they'd ask him (and paul) leading questions to get the most material.

I honestly don't find it inexplicable that he'd turn on him without a "reason" so maybe my own mouse trap of a brain is part of why I disagree so much w that dominant narrative of rejection to explain it 😭 bc for me and many other bpd cunts I know it's just. it could Literally be nothing. often it's just a SENSE of rejection that will cause a split. and I'm willing to bet that their growing distance, paul pushing the band harder to work after brian died, paul not really accepting yoko and johnandyoko, the possible dying out of a sexual aspect of their relationship, paul proposing to jane & later getting with/marrying linda, paul Accepting john's ask for a divorce, paul going out and making an album on his own....... well. it's a perfect storm for my fellow bpd bitch to go "well fuck him I never loved him that guy fucking sucks and whatever he does doesn't hurt me anyway bc I don't care At All he's just the absolute worst and I can't stand him"

which of course had to be whiplash for paul. from his pov it was genuinely out of nowhere. but I will say all his comments about it and john needing to put him/the beatles aside for yoko and just..... all his quotes around john's mental health seem to be very VERY aware of all this. he knew john better than anyone & his main confusion seems to be around whether or not john ever actually loved or even liked him. which is an understandable emotional reaction. I think, though, he does show a deep understanding of john when he talks about all of this which makes me soooo :(

[jester-lover]

SLENDERVERSE CHARACTERS: giving you a hug!! (Marble Hornets ver.)

FLASHING GIFS

Warnings: fluff, comfy, lore spoilers, mentions of violence, the author is new to this, not proofread, some can be taken as platonic, others not

Characters featured: Alex, Brian, Tim, Jessica, hoodie, masky, skully, the operator

Alex Kralie

Alex isn’t a big fan of touching anyone

He often avoids being close to anyone he doesn’t know

Even after the two of you are together for a while, Alex tends to share his feelings in a verbal way

Words of affirmation!!!

But if he sees that you are under stress or breaking down, and you ask nicely, he will give you a hug

It’s very brief, and a little awkward, but since he’s so thoughtful about physical affection, you are really thankful

“I hope you feel better.”

Brian Thomas

Will give you a hug before leaving the house

Will give you a hug after coming home

This man is so sweet it hurts

He’s so warm too

his head is on your shoulder

He smells like the woods, 🧐 I wonder why?

Will sigh every time he hugs you bc he literally melts into you

“Finally”

Tim Wright

Whenever one of you is tired, you tend to collapse onto the other person

He’s so dramatic

Tim, I love you but you smell like death rn

:(

Lots of hugs from behind, but if you try it on him he will screech

Smells like cigarettes and musk

He’s also very awkward with affection, unless he’s disoriented, he’ll want to know if you’re real

He tends to hold you closer if he’s paranoid

“I don’t want you to end up like me.”

Jessica Locke

She is so good at giving hugs

Like, patting your back, head on your shoulder, legs slightly tangled

Loves hugs in the morning, before you venture off on your way

Absolutely gives forehead kisses, canon in my heart

A hug and a lil smooch on the forehead!

NICKNAMES.

If you do makeup, she will hug you from behind to startle you

“Hey sweetheart.”

Hoodie

Lil freak

How can a hug be so terrifying

Probably runs away after the hug

Brief

“*distortion*”

Masky

Hates touching ppl

If he’s hugging you, it’s probably for a reason

(He enjoys your company but he would die before he’ll let you figure it out)

It’s probably you who breaks off the hug

Cigarettes, blood and no showering doesn’t make a good scent

*heavy breathing*

Skully

(I know very little about this character)

Probably doesn’t ever want to hug you

But, hey it’s been a long day, and even creepy forest people need loving

It’s a very shaky hug, and leads to a lot of weird hair stroking

The Operator

Honestly you have to have some kind of god level sweet talking to get an eldrich abomination to hug you

Long, long arms

This is ideal for hugging because he literally can wrap around you like a snake

His skin is cold like ice, and you swear you can hear some muttering

It’s all cool until you pass out and wake up in a whole different town

He got shy!!:(

——————————————————————

Thank you for reading! I will be doing a emh version!!

[instantartific]

Fortunately, I don’t think Team Sayu were doxxed. This is bc Kliff stated their names in the briefing. (But you can say he managed to hack their whatevers and found out) maybe it’s just a face reveal and that is horrible too

Yeah, I meant more so that their faces at least were now public image. I highly doubt their names were ever said during the concert because they didn't address each other, and B2J didn't either.

It's weird to try to figure out what is and isn't already public information about the Charters and what's personal information that Kliff somehow obtained, because there was... I think at least one NPC who was implied to be shocked that Sayu was a bunch of teens in a trenchcoat, not her own thing.

Like. I initially thought that Neon was out of public image entirely, but it's apparently public knowledge that he's 1010's manager (specifically that he's really paranoid), and his image is hanging up somewhere in the district.

Though. It might not be that difficult to figure out their names by backtracking using their faces. If they weren't public and they were shown, then at least some if not all didn't want to be, and all got revealed before they were ready.

[reflections-in-a-critical-eye]

idk if i can express myself properly but there's this constant infantilization of bts (and armys by extent)

like when it comes to their interactions with the fans they seem so artificially prudish and bashful, excessively protective of the audience from seeing anything racy. like there's this juvenile purity attached to their brand that feels very dissonant with their ages.

on one hand hybe wants me to buy luxury kitchen appliances and cars and LVs, on the other i cant watch TH play gun games on stream bc they're too cruel. jimin in particular seem to be extra paranoid abt adult stuff. i know they gotta censor themselves during streams and whatnot, but turning into such a scandalized mess? going full kindergarten teacher mode? just what kind of briefings they're attending at hybe? can the company decide what their main audience is and focus on it and be consistent?

same with nudity (except for first couple of years). much more puritan, than many other BGs, especially SM artists. all that cheeky editing and b21 stickers to sanitize the content. throwing just enough crumbs to keep ppl thirsty and interested.

and i'm not saying i want them to go full E rating but this infantile innocence being apart of bts brand gives me whiplash once in a while. and i dont want any goody-goody label nannying me while milking me of my very adult money.

TL;DR the uwu-fication of big hit and bts and armys pisses me off.

You rightly pointed out these very weird strategies. It's going back and forth between a mature fandom with products catered to them, especially through sponsorship deals and also advertising merch that seems for fitting for children. I could say they are taking into consideration the entire demographic, but what they succeed at is actually giving whiplash, as you said. Their brand should reflect the group and their age. I've said this countless times before. It makes more sense to have them advertise cars, than children's games. I would also be ironic to used BT21 stickers in future content because some of the members themselves have now showed naked parts of their body on social media or even photoshoots. But I also wouldn't be surprised.

As to Jimin, I noticed this as well and I don't get it. He treats his audience as if they're kids and he's some middle school teacher. He's in some very weird protective mode for stuff that it's not necessary at all, like the time he covered the artwork in that hotel room when just days before, everyone saw it in Jungkook's room. And it was the type of stuff we can also see on billboards outside. I don't know if this reflects Jimin's current views on his fandom because it's like he doesn't know that people in their 20s, 30s, 40s are part of it as well. Maybe it's because he thinks that social media army (those who comment, watch livestreams and BangtanTV content) are in the younger demographic. Which again, not exactly true.

It's a strategy that it's a bit all over the place that it's perhaps going through a transition phase, given that group activities and content are on hold.

[hobiiwan]

the mandalorian with a pregnant s/o

⇒ pairing: the mandalorian x reader

⇒ summary: pretty self-explanatory

⇒ warnings: brief mentions of some nsfw spicy times

⇒ notes: based on this anon (thank you!) thought the gif would be fitting. this could potentially be extended into dad!Mando (although that’s already kind of shown in the show👀so let me know if yall are down for some MandoBaby bc i definitely am) also i kinda went overboard, but who am i if not extra

you’re not quite sure how it happened

i mean, okay,,,,

you knOw

but you can’t seem to fathom how one day you were just you and now you’re you’re carrying a little person inside you

it comes as a surprise

even though the signs were all there

the other day, you’d snapped at mando for the tiniest thing

twenty minutes later you were practically on him

not to mention the morning sickness

thaT should’ve been your biggest red flag

yet you simply chalked it up to the fault of questionable cantina food

however, now with the pregnancy test in your hands with the double red lines mockinG you straight to your face

there’s no denying it

you’re pregnant

you hate that your first thought instantly jumps to doubt

how are you going to raise this baby?? your life was not one for a child

you would never want your child to grow up in a constant state of danger

and what would mando think??? what if he doesn’t want to keep the baby; what would you do then?

you haven’t even seen his face, how are you going to raise a child together

will the child be raised a mandalorian????

so many questions

but under it all, you were happy

you’ve always wanted a family of your own

not that baby yoda doesn’t count as your child bc it totaLLY DOES

although this isn’t exactly how you expected it to happen

you’re determined to let your baby grow up surrounded by love

you just hope mando is too

when you tell him, it’s not a big occasion

it’s another day, he’s checking the ship’s controls and you’re curled up on the seat next to him

he instantly knows something’s up

because for once, you’re quiet

you gnaw on your lip as your knee bounces up and down

the anxiety is radiating off of you and it’s starting to get to him

never one to beat around the bush, he asks, turning to your huddled form, straight to the point

“what’s wrong?”

taking a deep breath you force the words out your mouth

“i’m pregnant, mando.”

your throat burns as your eyes well with tears

he goes absolutely silent

even the usual rhythm of his breathing through his moderator goes cold

his helmet is turned towards you, but you feel as though he’s looking anywhere but at you

the second the first teardrop spills down your cheek, that’s when he finally moves

whatever was on hand is dropped as he goes to take your hands in his

“i—” he starts, continues with a waver, “do you want this?”

his voice is gentle, more so than you’ve ever heard it before

mando’s thoughts are soaring

he can’t believe this is real; you’re real

he takes a moment to thank the maker for gifting him with you, and now your baby

he swears all the planets align when you nod

you’re smiling now and even with the tear tracks drying on your cheeks, mando thinks he’s never seen anything more ethereal

his hands tighten around yours as he pulls you close to him

“but what about—how can we raise a child like this?”

at this moment, he sounds so vulnerable; so open with his fears that you can’t help but love him a little more

you press your forehead against mando’s helmet

closing your eyes, you know he does too

“we’ll find a way.”

it’s in the way that he allows you to place your hands just where his helmet meets his shoulders, fingers brushing against the sliver of exposed skin

the way his own hands are heavy against the small of your back, keeps you grounded in this moment of euphoria

he doesn’t have to say it; neither do you

the words hang in the air, unspoken yet heard

you know your baby will be loved

NOW,,, TO THE FUN STUFF

mando ups his protectiveness to the goDS

not one haiR on your pretty little head will be harmed on his watch

he won’t let anyone get close to you, and his awareness has been tuned to a whole new level

it’s to be expected; you know he’s just doing this because he cares

but,,, manz forgotten you can take care of yourself just fine

the first few weeks, he’s a little paranoid, to say the least

but once he sees you slam a slimeball who got a little too handsy into a wall, he relaxes a bit more

still, don’t expect to do anything on your own bc for the next 9+ months, mando’s signed up to be your new butler

most days, he’ll have everything you want on hand; whenever you have cravings, back pain, swollen ankles

he’s got u

on the days you have terrible all-day morning sickness, he’s right there holding your hair up and rubbing your back soothingly

when you slump against the toilet, you swat him away because you don’t want anyone to see you right now

he doesn’t give a flying damn

cuddles are a biG thing (which surprises both of you since you’re both quite reserved people)

most nights you’ll fall asleep to his hand tracing over your growing bump and not gonna lie,,,, it’s kinda great

unTIL your bump really starts to grow and you can no longer reach down to pull on your own boots or sleep on your back

that’s when it really hits you

by the time you get to your third trimester, you’re ready for this baby to be out of you

you can’t say you particularly enjoy feeling bloated 24/7 and not being able to frequent your beloved grimy cantinas

but you’re also really excited to meet your lil baby!

you wonder how he or she will look; like you or their father?

what will their name be? 

you probably should have planned these things out by now

but since when were you and mando known for planning?

eventually mando sets up a little nursery on the ship; baby yoda’s going to have a sibling very soon

you have yet to discuss the whole helmet issue with mando

hell, you don’t even know his real name

what you do know is that you want your child to know the face of their father

but you also know how important it is for him that his face is kept hidden

mando knows the conversation is bound to happen one way or another, yet he’s still a deer in the headlights when you bring it up

he sighs heavily, and tells you he’ll think about it (despite that usually being a half-assed answer from anyone else, you know his to be genuine)

you don’t bring it up for a while afterwards; you don’t want to push him

until one day,,,,,

you’re chilling with the Child (not your own) (yet), who’s happily cooing in your arms, when the father of your actual child comes stomping in

“dyn.”

you blank, eyebrows furrowing in confusion; the Child mimics your expression with full emphasis on the eyes

“come again?”

he sighs, (a common occurrence nowadays)

reader, you’re exasperatinG (but in a good way)

“my name,” he tries again, “it’s dyn. dyn jarren.”

your eyes widen comically as it dawns on you; that is noT what you were expecting today

he would’ve chuckled at your expression but this was noT the time

“dyn,” you breathe out as a smile grows on your face

you like it, it’s suits him perfectly

that’s when he decides he likes his own name, if it means he can hear you say it again

you lean up to press your lips against where his own would be under the helmet

“thank you,” you murmur with a softness he still hasn’t gotten used to

suddenly mando feels ready to reveal his whOLE life story to you

this is a hugE step obviously, and you can’t help but still call him mando from time to time

force of habit :’))

but when you feel that first wave of sharp pain piercing your lower back, his name is the first thing that escapes your lips

after the first ‘oh shit’ ofc

he’s by your side within a span of ten seconds

you still manage to tease him about the cacophony of clanging metal as he runs through the ship

but then the next wave of contractions hit and you’re 200% sure you blackout (mando tells you later that you didn’t)

because the next thing you know, (6 hours later, mando says) there are about 4 medical droids around you

they’re telling you to push

and boY DO YOU PUSH

you didn’t think you had it in you

mando didn’t think he had it either, as you crushed every single bone in his hand

you’re also mildly cursing him

“daMn yoU MANDO, I HOPE YOU ENJOYED IT BECAUSE I AM NEVER SLEEPING WITH YOU EVER AGAIN-”

that’s a lie, obviously

there’s a pause as you gasp for breath

you’re knackereD

suddenly there’s a little cry

the droids clean your baby up and they hand him to mando

it’s a,,,,,,, drumroll please

girl !!!!

his heart stops when the baby, your baby, meets his eyes, or rather, his helmet

at that moment, mando knows he’d do absolutely anything for this little person

he’d take his helmet off a thousand times if it meant he’d get to love her properly, the way a real father should

that’s exactly what he decides to do

within the next few days, you’re back home

one morning, you wake up, suspiciously well rested

that’s weirD,,,,

you realise your daughter never cried last night

you bolt upright as quickly as you can in your state, alarmed

motherhood is wiLD

you stumble outside, eyes darting for your baby when they land on something that makes your heart stop

there he is, dyn jarren, the mandalorian, holding your baby girl in his arms, bathed in all the glory of the binary sunrise

but that’s not what gets you

his back is turned to you, and you can see the back of his head, tufts of unruly dark brown curling around warm, bronzed skin

there are tears welling in your eyes as he turns to face you

your gaze meets his own, not the reflection you’re so used to

but his eyes, rounded and dark; the ones you see on your daughter

as soon as your face breaks into a grin, he knows he’s made the right decision

your breath hitches as his lips curl into a smile; it’s a little uncertain, a little nervous

but it’s one you know you’ll never get tired of in this lifetime

he’s taken it off.

[plounce]

a thing i am doing right now is i am writing a post-canon cardassia garashir fic BUT it is wholly made up of primary sources and secondary sources discussing garashir in later cardassian society because in present canon cardassia is like homophobic so their relationship was kept verrrrry private, so a lot of historians in the future debate over whether garak and bashir were together or not. ambiguity and all that. im a history major. all the secondary sources are post-post-canon when cardassia is like. more socially liberal about certain things, where the writers are reflecting on that period of cardassian history. anyway these are the sections i have written / planned so far

bashir's will that asks for certain documents to be preserved “for the sake of historical preservation, so that future generations may know Elim not just as a patriotic statesman but as a warm and loving man.” <-- homo

a book on present-canon cardassian homophobia, going into the social history. this section got really long because i talked about trans cardassians navigating around homophobia a lot. bc the homophobia is from a place of “you have to have children” but like (binary) trans ppl are okay so like those people who marry in ways that don’t appear childbearing tended to have children really quick to escape that. but yeah i still need to finish this bit bc i need to actually talk about the homophobia not just the trans people

list of cardassian homophobic slurs. yeah lmao i know. we have fun here. one of the ones for “lesbians” is “friend of sapohi” because i couldn’t resist making up lizard alien sappho

first physical letter garak sends bashir post-canon when there’s power shortages and bashir is stationed a long way away. they’re not together yet. sort of an introduction. these letters are one of the only personal documents garak left behind bc he’s paranoid and very private

a federation relief worker’s notes on a briefing about power rationing, which is some further explanation about why the fuck star trek people would be writing letters on paper instead of their weird ipads

second letter garak sends bashir. idk what’s gonna be in that yet but i do know garak says “your doodle of me was charming but inaccurate”. just one side of the conversation bc bashir kept his letters from garak while garak read the letters bashir sent him, memorized them, and destroyed them for security reasons.

record request emails from a cardassian history graduate student to a federation archivist asking for access to any messages from the o’briens about bashir but oh no :( the o’briens only marked for archival some videos of their grandkids :( and also a video of a random cardassian kid from bashir? weird. this one was really fun

one of the last messages bashir sent o’brien through starfleet comms that’s like right before he leaves for cardassia. nothing Concrete but definitely Hmmm-able

an excerpt from a book about the history of offworlders on cardassia, which includes a letter from one of garak’s political opponents as an example of reactionary xenophobia. basically it’s just a letter where this dude is very rude and homophobic about bashir. but it’s fine because he uses fake homophobia

political cartoon where bashir is portrayed as a seducer trying to get cardassia to assimilate into the federation. meant to be kind of funny imo. might commission karin to draw it for me. i think bashir tried to frame it in their house but garak like super hated it but idk if i can squeeze that in

transcript of an interview bashir gave on his views on cardassian politics, trying to be like “haha im just here to be a doctor, im not trying to be a spy or anything, but yeah i do agree with the people who like social programs and the rights of the disadvantaged etc etc”

an excerpt from a speech parmak gives like a decade after that after a piece of orphan rights legislation got passed that thanks bashir for the consultation and support. heheh

third letter from garak to bashir. probably like. subtly indicates that their relationship is on the verge of romantic. the last letter

a negative book review of a book that argues that garak and bashir were together. the review is just like “terrans are just Like That!!” plus some other stuff like “they lived together bc nobody would rent a house to an offworlder in this era!!” and stuff like that. im looking forward to writing this

the entries on garak and bashir from a children’s book on cardassian heroes. very saccharine and glossy and patriotic. bashir especially is like “once he stepped foot on cardassian soil he knew he loved this land” etc etc. amusingly inaccurate

the speech of one of garashir’s grandchildren (they take in some wards - non-blood related adoption is formally recognized on cardassia after the wards are of age) while accepting some medical award that thanks her grandfather elim garak for the support and her beloved elder julian bashir for his advice and support

a foreword from a book of poetry written by one of their GREAT-grandchildren who thanks his grandfather for the love of literature passed down to him. because Oh You Know

idk where this will go but cardassians discussing a federation documentary about The Heroes Of The Dominion War that says “oh yeah bashir went on to become the first naturalized citizen of cardassia. elim garak became an important figure in the new cardassian government. they were common law married” and the cardassians being like THEY REALLY SAID THAT? and some cardassians being mad and some cardassians being like Someone’s Fucking Saying It Finally!

still thinking of other sections that go a bit more into their children/married life. maybe also some other incidents. the thing about this is it’s such a fun little exercise to think of different ways to angle into this relationship and this society through surviving primary sources and variations on secondary sources. it’s a puzzle though because i want a lot of differentiation

im thinking ill conclude it with like their great great grandchild releasing some documents from them that confirm their relationships that were meant to published like a couple centuries later when hopefully cardassia was more accepting. because i want gay people to get the last laugh and assert their places in history and regain control over how society sees them. yk

sorry this post is like so insanely long and also kind of deranged in concept. im kind of fucking tired of my main twitter being this place where i have to remember that 21k people follow me (because i post c*tcrumb art on my main twtter) that im trying to make tumblr a place where i can just run my mouth yk. anyway. hey i got really into ds9 in the second week of march

[albatris]

I've addressed how tris and noa initially became friends on this blog and that's always a ramble I love going on because they're both huge idiots but the more pressing question is how they managed to make said friendship last

'cause as a general rule noa is an extremely difficult person to get close to bc she's so closed off and angry but if you do manage to strike up a friendship with her she's near impossible to get rid of

and tris is a very easy person to strike up a friendship with if given the opportunity bc he likes literally everyone, but a very difficult person to remain close with due to the fact that after a while he starts getting all paranoid and antsy and suspicious of people's motives

so I figure tris almost immediately jumped to being internally like "I consider this person my friend :D" while noa was like "fuck you I'm only letting you hang around because it's beneficial to me you're literally just some guy" which goes on for a few weeks

and there's a brief window of overlap where noa starts to warm up to him but neither of them want to make it weird by saying out loud that they're Friends

but around the time noa gets properly emotionally attached and ticks over into ride or die mode is around the same time as tris starts to panic and pull away and isolate himself and the simple answer is noa is just having None Of That

so he's like "actually fuck this" and bolts and tries to lock himself in his house for a week and she grips him by the back of his stupid turtleneck just like "and where do you think you're going :)))))"

[rennybu]

could u tell more about beja.. love their design sm..

MY LITTLE GUYYUYUYUYUY............. OHHHHKAY here’s the ultimate Beja thought ramble under the cut

THIS POST IS SUPER LONG OH M Y GOD.. OH YMG OD ENJOY ENJOY!!!!!!!!!

BEJA WAS MY VERY FIRST DND CHARACTER!!!!! The dm had years of experience and was really excited at my idea that beja be half-orc, half-tiefling, and let me play him with my choice of stat increases + tiefling race bonuses!! so i think he had +2 charisma and +1 constitution instead of the usual intelligence.

Beja’s backstory is very bleak and with (seemingly) few strings attached to it... he’s an orphan, or was abandoned, and was raised as a street kid in a small town and grew up into a life of odd jobs and eventually some underground involvement.. mostly a courier or small goods smuggler, and he did ok at it! he was very good at keeping his head down and was happy to travel without the pressure of leaving anyone behind. loner king

eventuallyyy a local gang/cult gave him a fake job which lead to him being abducted and forced into an experimental pact ritual, like a guinea pig for something long forgotten and newly rediscovered. the cultists didn’t care whether he lived or died, only that a connection with their forgotten god would be made. SURPRISE! the pact worked! and beja became sworn to an entity his mind could barely grasp the introduction to! he lashed out in panic with his newfound powers and killed most of his captors, and fled the town with nothing but the clothes on his back!!

his backstory from that point is that he lived a very paranoid and mobile life alone, never staying too long in any town or city for fear that the cult might find him and force him into some kind of service. his pact (with Tharizdun, unbeknownst to him o///o) made him irritable and outright antisocial, giving him nightmares and auditory hallucinations on his bad days. paired with his rough upbringing he found himself unopposed to committing petty crime but he still tried to keep a sense of normalcy by working odd jobs where he could find them, usually at inns or stables or campuses. keeping his hands busy = good for brain!!!

he got very very good at eavesdropping and people watching and kept a firm hold of any rumor threads that he thought might be connected to the cult, in the hopes he might one day catch a member unawares and get answers about his unknown patron and the pact he finds himself in. he’s in survival mode for a good long while here!!!!

and then one day he meets @gacpars OC, Rhagot :’~) he’s a wonderfully fascinating character and I don’t want to describe him poorly so IN BRIEF... the 2 meet by chance before having to part ways, but that time is enough for Beja to get a taste of. gentle curiosity (MUTUAL), interest (NON-THREATENING, ALSO MUTUAL), and. COMPANY!!!!!! and Rhagot is like “ok youre my soul mate. here have this braided silver ring” (their relationship is a whole other essay and i want to draw more of them bc they make my heart and brain ache in a good way)

circumstances cause them to part ways and Beja finds himself travelling with an adventuring party! CAMPAIGN START! long story short turns out the cult is a lot more insidiously widespread and in the years since lil ol Beja’s forced ritual, the cult has been swearing their own members into Tharizdun’s service (voluntary <3) and ummmm growing their power and sacrificing people to him, blood for the blood god etc etc.

he has a really interesting arc here!!! he’s TERRIFIED of the power his pact grants him, both in the sense that he has NO desire to draw power from the forgotten chained god of chaos? death? nothingness? AND that as he gets stronger, his appearance and habits become more monstrous and less predictable. BUT he’s better able to protect those he calls friends. its a very fine line for him and he kills some folks as one does in an edgy blood apocalypse DND campaign, steals some relics, threatens some cultists, writes some poems, etc. He has a very weird Frodo-and-Smeagol type relationship with his familiar (pact of the chaaaiinnnn), a quasit that later grows into a spined devil, because he sees himself in it. a creature bound to serve something it had no choice in! they get along (strained). I am very in love w the irony of him being his most vulnerable (emotionally/morally) at his most powerful (stacking all those Great Old One eldritch invocations babey)

eventually his impulses push him to attune to one of the relics he steals (a very shiny rod of the pact keeper. sobs i wanted +3 spell damage i wanted it so fucking bad) and he gets CURRRRRSSEED!!!!!!!!!!! A SUPER POWERFUL CURSE that our cleric didn’t have high enough spell slots to lift. it was an exhaustion curse and he got like four days into it until the cleric tried a slightly homebrewed Divine Intervention/Wish spell combo to “cure him of all curses that afflict him”

and well! because he’s seen his pact as a curse since the first moment he was saddled with it! the pact is COMPLETELY SEVERED as the other curse is lifted. HE IS FREE!!! and he leans very hard into his hobby of poetry, and as they travel he re-learns spellcasting, and learns to play the hand harp, and apprentices with different travelling bards and tavern-buskers until the DM let me call him a bard of the college of valor!!! filling the void left by his patron with art and song...

soooon after that the campaign ended up disbanding u__u BUT beja left the party to be alone once more, travelling until he one day reunites with and marries Rhagot. they RETIRE into DOMESTIC BLISS in a SMALL VILLAGE where they teach each other PEACE!!!!! oh my god i need to draw them more.

THANK U FOR ASKING! AND READING! i’m very fond of him even though it’s been years since the campaign.... i still do develop him from time to time, or think of his character arc and backstory.... my son.... my grey goth son....

[flockofdoves]

i feel really really weird this week. trying to figure out what the fuck is going on. like its certainly not the first time i’ve felt like this in my life but ive just not had my emotions so . not numbed? in so long or felt like crying totally unprompted or felt vaguely angry at random shit in a certain sort of way (which for something new then makes me feel super guilty because i used to be bad with how i went about anger and i guess i never really fully learned how to practice being normal about it i just started constantly suppressing it along with every other emotion so seeing myself angry about inconsequential shit even if im not acting on it makes me feel awful like people are potentially seeing my reaction to them when its not a justified thing even if i dont think i’m doing anything). like sure those were super normal in past parts of my life. maybe even in the context of my job which i guess i only quit just like 7 months ago now even if i otherwise felt numb through the year before that too. and not something surprising to emerge again bc it has in the past year too but just maybe not so much at once but on top of that just feel a bit paranoid about stuff like people reading my mind or bugs crawling on me (or imagining sensations like that or seeing that or w/e)

i guess in typing all this out when i think about it the one time i felt like this this past half year that i can think of (or at least pretty similar and notable in the way i felt weird minus the anger. actually i didnt feel angry til the past few days so i think thats just at like. being around someone whos made vaguely bigoted comments that i’m affected by but then feeling guilty for reading the worst into unrelated shit bc of that making me feel unsafe) is when my brothers girlfriend visited. and now this past couple weeks she visited and then my uncle visited and then my moms friend visited and in general just theres more invitations to see other people even not staying w us bc everyones vaccinated.

so i guess the biggest factor throughout all of that is like. having to get used to interacting with people that i havent interacted with much in this past over 2 years of being isolated while also simultaneously having my daily routines disrupted by that a bit?? which feels absolutely insane to me that that would have That disproportional of an effect and be something i really did not even know how to attribute at all until typing this out right now. like i really appreciate and have fun with a lot of those people its not bc i dislike them or literally anything like that i think this is just a bit of a deranged unexpected side effect of whatever fucking stage of isolation i’m at where instead of just feeling really stilted in conversation or feeling like i dont know how to normally talk to people or accidentally crying while talking to people or oversharing and being awkward like i have at various times throughout my 2 years and 4 months of isolation when i had brief periods of interacting with people i cared about and/or people around my age again, while sure a lot of that is still somewhat happening (but not the crying in conversation, that was once when i got to see friends from college once literally right before i really realized the pandemic was starting and i couldnt keep visiting after not seeing them for a year before then. i just havent seen any of those friends since)  i think its like. not knowing at all how to act normally around people but also not being as used to the people i am newly interacting with while my routines interrupted so whether i want to make a good impression around them in spite of that or am trying to be normal about feeling upset about shit people i dont know well but cant just not be around say or whatever  ig it just like. flares up my anxieties about what can tell from what i say or how theey take me and all that leads to intrusive thoughts and paranoia about not just giving off the wrong conversational things but literally people reading my mind and judging me for intrusive thoughts recursive cycle etc and all that just makes me feel exhausted and unsafe and useless and whatever etc and maybe subconsciously is bringing up a lot of reocurring emotional shit i’ve dwelled on but not cried about much at all this past half year idk. plus i’m just stressed about how much i really want to get done before starting to move and go back to school.

makes sense in explaining most of it in typing it out right now but nonetheless dont like that. isolation has had a lot of awful effects on me (literally i know i’m talking to so many other people in the world now with that its nothing special lol. ‘i was doing this for a year prepandemic’ is a stupid thing to emphasize 1 year is horrible enough and it just blends together) and i’ve long been terrified thinking about how it could be affecting me in more unforeseen and/or longterm ways but i think i was thinking i had a general sense of how my trouble with interacting with people again would manifest and i really dont like seeing that like. i literally did not fucking know how to connect my emotions and other shit recently to that til right now. better than not connecting it at all of course but i dont like it feeling so unconnected. in general have been very disconnected from emotions even outside of social interaction type stuff so of course thats something to work on too but idk just scary to realize maybe i dont even know the general shape of how my trouble “reintegrating into society” is gonna look like lol. and while i’m hoping it will feel better (but honestly probably a lot more intense emotions even if positive) with realizing this know i really even more cannot even begin to imagine how seeing people ive been close to in the past again will end up going when i get to that

[snow-wind-and-all-we-will-find]

Hi! My names arthur and im working on improving my word and building my story, which currently has no name haha! I have a myriad of characters who ill try to list out and give brief descriptions of, aether is technically my main character and some of the characters who are up for question are dead in canon. But you can still ask them stuff, itll just be set before death.

When asking characters questions, rememeber to include the name, their age if theres diffrent ages, i dont mind repeated questions, but if you see the question try not to ask it again lol. If you cant find it with a quick scroll just ask it, although i dont know if this blog will even get that big.

Aether

He comes in three evolutions lol, technically, theres four but idk if i would count 7 year old aether.

Ages: 13 yo - colder, hasnt gotten used to emotions, there are two to this as well, pre-rev and then post-rev 13 yo aether, remember to specify lol.

16 yo- a bit more out there, still kinda disconnected and figuring things out, a bit more defensive

22 yo- lax, hes sorta figured shit out, hes not going to go grazy, hes just gonna be chill lol.

!The gaggle Ghosts!

Yurei

Her personality is very, ehhh, becuase i havnt done work with her, and i havnt completly figured out who she is fully yet, shes 18 yo when aether is 22 yo

18 yo- pretty oblivious, somehow still a bit cynical, very nice and sometimes motherly

Kakoku

Few thousand- mean, likes to bully yurei as he huants her, lowkey a simp for yurei but he wont admit that. Kinda cynical and likes to bring others down, generally a bully

Tamashi

19- emotionless, has to be a really strong emotion to make her emote, tends to stray away from other people, likes to be alone, blunt

Gunnar

A few thousand- sweet, warm and welcoming, tries to be very fatherly and a trusted figure, is very busy most of the tiime unfortunatly though.

!The greek gang!

Argus agapov

16- unstable, pretty baby, protective over friends and family

Mythos agapov

23- whore. He also loves his family, lowkey, hes a trad wife

Perceus

15/16- timid, intrested in posiosn and acids, generally quiet, likes to eat leaves, scaredy cat

Diogenes

14- germ of phobe, kind of a brat, more just a bitch, will yell at you if he sees your hands were dirty from gardening or something while you’re walking to the sink, other than that hes fine, picky eater

Herodotus

15- disorginized, trys his best, likes to write stuff down, helps plato with his writing and grammar in general, gullible, likes record data, has a nice typewriter with tha good clicky clack

Plato

8- sweet baby boi, loves his older brother (socrates), idolizes him even, not a good idea though. He writes down everything socrates does, sometimes he imitates his brother as well.

Socrates

17- dumb of ass, also just dumb, held back a grade, feral child, bites alot of people, soft aestechic but hed stab as a warning

Heracles

30- also dumb of ass, loves cars in that ‘mah babeh’ kinda way. Hates motorcycles, he thinks they’re ugly. Chaotic but he utilizes it to be the weird and cool uncle/cousin thing

Zeus

46- too tired for this shit, is a dad, went out to get milk, jk jk, dissapeared for a hot few years, probably got captured by some gang dunno, it happens. Very serious, would make the dumbest jokes with his brothers with a straight face

Hades

50- lowkey the neglected middle child, soft goth lookin ass, loves his kid, tries his best to raise his kid, sometimes gets help from esme

Poseidon

57- proud stay at home dad, buff but does the typically wifely duties, makes sure his children get enough love, nutrience and care

Lillith

54- very active, the money maker, kinda soft, both her and her husband poseidon are so just in love with their kids, dote on them constantly, very extroverted, always makes time for her kids

Esme

51- tired of zeus’ shit, does her best to make sure no one dies, still treats mythos as her ‘little baby boy, tired mom vibes.

!the Eden gang!

Eden is a fictional country that i slapped onto the globe. It is where aether is from, technically aether is apart of the eden gang as well. Everyone here, if they have an age option, the first age option is the age they are when aether is 13, and the second will be when aether is 16 unless stated otherwise

General kyelli

49- fatherly, thinks of most of the gang as his children, calls everyone ‘son’, as a general rule. If you ask for another nickname, he will do his best. Has a bad knee, and is kinda of bad at existing physically

52+- fatherly still, loves almonds, always has a bag of almonds, dont test him. Enjoys travel, might adopt people he meets along the way, still has pains but now he sees doctors, wants to stay active

Indigo

13- sweet, optimistic, always looks on the brightside and tries to see the good in others. Little heater, understands that sometimes fighting is the only option

Akrano

16- lively, very loose and relax, can get serious when needed though, always making jokes and trying to lighten up the mood

19- a bit more, mellow. Still quite lively and childish, but with two signifigant-others you have to settle down sometimes

Ekrano

16- lively, more stern than akrano and kinda worried, but ultimatly also very loose and bright

Lilliana

16- serious, seemingly colder towards everyone, gets along great with psycho-lops, makes him new eye-patches to pass time, actually just very monotone and blank most of the time, although she does care

19- she doesnt change much, she got a bit more expressive, likes babysitting howl

Psycho-lops

16 1/2- always looks determined, actually kinda scared of conflict, likes to help out with healing though, very proficient in it as well, sounds intimidating while talking about how cute puppies and kittens are

19/20- still the same, is considering studying medicine and medical practices to become a doctor.

Bark

17- bright, incredibly lively, loves to joke around and tease and sometimes bully the others, targets aether primarily, hangs out with his brother most of the time, he can fight for himself but he likes the backup, especcially since he is kinda glass-jawed, being that hes a twig

Bite

17- quiet, intense eyes, always sounds vaugly confused when he speaks, deep voice lol, likes to train, doesnt understand barks need to tease others, likes to read to the children

20- quiet, intense eyes still, more so nervous sounding, slightly paranoid, cluastrophobic and cant stand dusty places, usually in his house or at the docks, doesnt really go anywhere else

Hanelle

17- loud, headstrong, adamant about her opinions, gets along well with bark, she tries alot to be intimidating, not a twig, but not very big, pretty friendly and sociable

!the band of pirates!

Aklea

A few hundreds of years- kinda bored seeming, loves blood, technically cannibal, but not really since he isnt human, to an extent. Despite being fine on the ocean, he gets very car sick very easily. Actually quite nice, very easily triggerd into violence, especcially by something that could be used as a good murder weapon, blood makes him jittery and more lively

Nerone

21- calm, too calm, deals with akleas bullshit wonerfully, he just stands there, blank smile on his face as aklea beats the shit outta someone, unintrested in most anything, likes to draw, but hes a much better pastry chef.

!the shakespears!

Midem(pink boi)

33- lively, loves to work with kids, very creative, likes to make things, mainly art, mainly carvings. Often make little minitures of scenes from midens writing, loves his twin, does anything it takes to fund midens intrests. Very loving to those hes close to

Miden

33- calmer by alot lmao, pretty introverted but he can hold a long conversation without becoming too drained, enjoys writing and making stories, also makes plays for fun, runs off little sleep cuase he stays up so late to write, and gets up early to write.

!gods!

Gideon

9 billion- confused boomer, loves his ‘children’, hates to be hated, always tries to help in anyway he can, despite making them, always curious into what mortals are doing, loves the universe he created and does anything he can to protect it

Merik

7 million- sore loser, does get a little salty, ultimatly bounces back and becomes a very good sport, always will adopt tactics, whatever it takes to win within the rules, keeps most all of his trophies from random feats hes done

Ventus

5 billion - calm, straightforward, tends to disregard others and do things himself, likes to sit on cliffs and watch the ocean

Kyle

Hes been around since 776 bc- very loud, lively, bright, tries his best to educate people on proper form, workout regime i intesne, doesnt allow others to take it, makes custom workout regimes for free, owns a gym, dude bro but hes nice, baby

Horo-sha

Her age technicaly is not accurate, shes like, 2 billion? Since dima was made right after her death. But since her history still lives, ima count it

5 billion but older than ventus- bitter, violent, former god of justice, fucking dead haha, hates mortals, primarily humans

Dima

Also not super accurate, hed only be a few centuries of being an active god before being sealed, but since hes technically, concious and has cognitive function hes counted

3 billion- mean lol, likes blood and gets even more violent when it starts getting messy, ‘new’ god of justice, uh, pretty bad at it like the last one, but worse, will kill over slight misdeameanors, everythings a crime smh

!misc!

Ivan

24- softspoken, from imperial russia, died young, he no longer feels his face is his own, has a mask that he likes better, has the sickness, but since he was human it killed him, can control it post mortem, is strong enough to be seen, but weak enough he can go invisible and go through solid objects.

More ocs will be added when i remember them, or create new ones, characters i dont really have built at all are not included

[jowritesthingss]

A Fondness for Rabbits

Fandom: The Magnus Archives

Pairing(s): n/a

Rating: Teen (for swearing)

Content Warning(s): rabbits, food/drink, mild(ish) swearing, not!Sasha,  eldritch beings, spoilers through late s2 / early s3-ish

Length: 3,538 words

Brief Summary: Jon isn’t particularly keen on the Archive’s new rabbit mascot. (It would help if you read this first! But it isn’t required.)

AO3 link in reblogs bc Tumblr is annoying!

*

If he could, Jonathan Sims would absolutely be firing one Timothy Stoker right about now.

Unfortunately, it seems that for the moment, the both of them are stuck in some sort of limbo, working down there in the Archives.

Them and that damned rabbit Tim brought in to work.

Jon is certain, absolutely certain, that Tim only brought the thing into the Archives to bother him. It happened all too soon after they had their falling out and discovered that none of them can physically quit; there’s no way that it isn’t a coincidence.

Tim swears up and down that it’s only at the Institute because his flat doesn’t allow animals, and that it’ll be gone as soon as he can find a permanent home for it, but naturally Jon is suspicious—and rightfully so, he thinks. Perhaps Tim isn’t the one who murdered Gertrude, but that doesn’t free him from all suspicions. Jon still doesn’t know why he applied to work at the Magnus Institute. For all he knows, the rabbit could be the next step in some horrid plan of some sort.

Regardless of any possible ulterior motives, Jon knows one thing for certain—he does not want this animal in his Archives. He wants it gone, and he wants it gone yesterday.

He stresses as such to a seemingly uncaring Tim: “The moment you find it a different home, it goes. The moment.”

“Sure thing, boss,” Tim agrees placidly, and Jon huffs at that, satisfied enough for the moment.

Oh, but then Martin comes in, and Jon is tasked with the lovely job of explaining to Martin why Tim’s rabbit is allowed to stay when his stray dog wasn’t. And hell, Jon regrets this already.

He stares into the beady red eyes of the rabbit as it slowly, contemplatively munches hay in a corner of the break room. Well.

There’s nothing to do but avoid the break room from then on, yes?

-

...No. Unfortunately.

As the last person to leave at night, and the first person to get in to the Archives in the morning, Jon becomes the reluctant caretaker to the ridiculously furry animal that has begun to take over his Archives and win over his assistants.

Tim wheedles him solidly for a day, popping in at random times until Jon finally agrees to feed the rabbit every morning when he arrives and every night before he leaves. And Jon would say no, he really would, if it weren’t for Martin, annoying oaf he is with his big pleading doe eyes and his irritatingly effective pout. Jon feels the silent judgement radiating off of him every time he pops in bearing tea.

Of course, even if he can’t avoid the animal in entirety, Jon still tries to make his trips in to care for the thing as quick as possible.

He times it once out of curiosity and boredom while he waits for his laptop to finish a surprise update—he’s managed to get the whole routine down in under five minutes. Considering the routine consists of giving it hay, getting it a scoop of pellets, tossing it lettuce from the fridge, refilling its water, and tidying the litter box, he feels almost a bit proud.

It’s somewhat relieving, honestly, having something normal to express distaste at in between investigating his coworkers on possible murder charges and fighting weird worm people and stabby hand people and other supernatural stuff. It’s kind of nice, actually.

Jon’s not too sure he likes the way the rabbit looks at him, though. It’s a rabbit—it’s not like it’s all that smart, right? But something about it just seems so...so knowing. So otherworldly.

He’ll get the routine down to three minutes, Jon resolves. Anything to avoid the rabbit’s unblinking gaze.

-

The rabbit becomes Jon Jr, and Jon (now apparently Jon Sr—which, don’t get him started on that bit) becomes irritated. Well, even more irritated than he generally always is nowadays.

And yet...the rabbit seems to sense that it has been named after Jon, almost. It seems to take particular fascination with him, and he cannot for the life of him figure out why.

Whenever Jon is in the break room, the thing follows him everywhere, demanding pets and snuggles and gently nibbling at the tips of his fingers if he lets them drop low enough. So he goes into the break room less and less, expecting for it to lose interest in him or hopefully forget about or ignore him the few moments he does pop in—but the rabbit seems to become even more fiercely attached.

He knows the creature isn’t like this with the others. The rabbit doesn’t particularly like Sasha—it ignores her most of the time—and it outright bit Elias the one time he chanced in on it. It seems to like Tim and Martin a fair amount, but the moment Jon walks through the doorway it bounds over, refusing to leave his side and even trying to follow him out of the break room on a smattering of occasions.

Staring into those empty, beady red eyes, Jon could swear there is something ancient and eternal and knowing. But Tim refuses to get rid of the thing, and Martin would cry, and Sasha or Elias or probably all of them would corner him and lecture him unnecessarily about being too paranoid yet again.

Although, he could always take it to an animal shelter. The rabbit very literally eats into the Archive’s budget—the thing eats an absurdly large amount of hay. Then Martin keeps buying toys for it instead of getting the office supplies Jon has asked for just about twenty times (“what if he gets bored in there, Jon? did you know rabbits can get depression? I can’t let him get depression!”), and Tim’s determined to fatten it up with copious amounts of fresh fruits and vegetables (“only the best organics for my furred son!”).

He’s certain that he could logic it out—that if he reasoned and fought it, Elias would nod neutrally and let him get rid of it. Elias, for all he is suspect in Gertrude’s murder, seems to be the only one with a modicum of sense left in the place. Surely he’ll be on Jon’s side in this.

But when he casually asks Elias his thoughts on the matter, the man adopts an oddly amused expression and says he has no objection to an animal to emotionally support the Archives team (“especially considering the incident involving Jane Prentiss, Jon, it really might help boost employee morale”).

Jon is fairly certain that this is Elias’ stance only so that he doesn’t have to be held accountable for providing his traumatized employees with actual therapeutic aid, but he doesn’t mention it. Instead he angrily bites his tongue and excuses himself from Elias’ office before he says something stupid.

As he goes back down to the Archives and continues about his day, Jon puzzles through his predicament.

The shelter is still sounding like his best option, his coworkers’ opinions be damned. He’s always the last to leave at night and the first to arrive in the morning...perhaps he could wait until everyone is gone and take it to a shelter? Or maybe he could ask around the other departments to see if anyone needs a pet or—well, or snake food.

Although...some very small part of Jon hesitates at the thought of turning Jon Jr over to Artifact Storage or a snake or anything of the sort.

The rabbit seems almost scarily in tune with his emotions—perhaps more in tune than Jon himself—and it doesn’t seem to mean him any harm. Certainly it hasn’t attacked him with parasitic worms or stabbed him with ridiculously long, sharp fingers yet or anything like that. And, well, what could it even do if it did intend harm? Bite him? Pee on his shoes? Steal his lunch?

...Speaking of lunch, Martin keeps spilling chicken from his wrap on his pants. Jon doesn’t have the heart to tell him that the mayonnaise has also started to escape.

Abruptly, Jon stands up from the couch, throwing away his napkin and shooing the rabbit away with a foot as he wriggles his way out of the door to the break room.

It has to be because they named it after him, Jon concludes. That’s why he’s starting to get attached. That must have been their plan, and dammit, it’s working.

He’ll give Tim an ultimatum, Jon ultimately decides as he goes back to his office. Tim doesn’t have to know what Elias thinks about the situation. And he did promise that the rabbit would go when he found it a home. So either Tim finds the rabbit a home by this Friday, or it goes out to a local shelter.

...The rabbit has a home by Friday: Jon’s.

-

Jon can pinpoint exactly when it happens.

He works himself into a panic when Basira Hussein quits the police force, and he loses any chance he might’ve had at getting the rest of Gertrude’s tapes. And at this point his panic (and his bad luck streak) really isn’t all that surprising, but something about this one particular panic is bad. Really bad.

It’s late at night, and everyone has gone home (except perhaps Elias; Jon has no idea what Elias’ hours look like). Since there’s no one else there to notice him appearing even more frazzled than usual, Jon chances out of his office and into the break room for a glass of water. It ought help his scratchy throat and his shaking limbs and his buzzing head.

Of course, he’s forgotten about the rabbit entirely.

Upon shoving the door open and flicking on the light switch, Jon nearly jumps out of his skin to see the rather unpleasant reminder of the Archives’ pesky little visitor. It’s sitting directly in front of the door, staring expectantly up at him, almost as if it’s been waiting for him.

Unnerving as ‘Jon Jr’ is, the actual Jon’s exhaustion and want for water outweighs his suspicions in the given moment, so he continues forward, shuffling into the break room and very nearly staggering towards the counter.

Once he’s managed to get a cup down from the cupboard, Jon fills it with trembling hands, dropping it into the sink once and nearly dropping it across the counter once too. He turns around and nearly trips on Jon Jr, sloshing even more water out of his cup.

Despite being rained on, though, the rabbit doesn’t seem all that put out; rather, it follows him over to the break room couch, waiting almost patiently for him to sit down and get situated before it hops up and unceremoniously deposits itself in his lap.

“What?” he manages to sourly mutter at it, but he can’t muster up the energy to shoo the thing off of his lap.

So Jon sits there, in silence, drinking his water and attempting to ignore the rabbit.

His attempt does not go well. A few minutes into the stillness, the rabbit shifts, moving to face Jon. It presses its nose towards his torso, wiggling its way under the hem of Jon’s rumpled collared shirt.

Choking on a particularly large gulp of water, Jon makes a startled noise as the rabbit’s wet nose comes into contact with his bare skin.

Coughing violently, Jon tries to flinch away, falling sideways on the couch. His cup flies out of his hands—thank god it’s one of the plastic ones—and water splatters everywhere.

However, the rabbit doesn’t seem to be deterred by the sudden motion and his attempt to get away. It simply follows him, weaseling its way from his lap up towards his face. Its bright red-eyed stare burns into Jon.

Jon flinches as the thing looms in front of his face, sucking in a desperate breath. Oh, god. There’s no one for him to call out to, no help to be had. Oh, god. Is it truly some sort of—of monster—after all? Is this it? Is he about to die?

The rabbit presses forward...

...and begins to lick his nose.

As Jon lies there, frozen into some sort of terrified shock, a vague part of his mind recalls a memory of the rabbits that his grandmother’s neighbor had kept, all those decades ago. Licking someone is a rabbit’s way of kissing them, and licking someone’s nose...that’s one of the ultimate signs of love, isn’t it?

The rabbit continues to lick his nose—nothing more, nothing less. No biting, no clawing, no attacking. Just licks. Just kisses. Just...love?

Jon’s racing heartbeat slowly begins to calm down. He lets out a shaky breath he hadn’t known he’d been holding, and he allows him to fall back into the couch, relaxing his tense limbs.

The rabbit follows him as he leans into the back of the couch, clambering up onto his chest.

For a moment Jon tenses up again, unsure of what it’s planning to do, but all the rabbit does is settle comfortably onto his chest and resume licking his nose. The weight of the animal on his chest somewhat reminds him of the Admiral, back when he’d lived with his former girlfriend Georgie, and it feels...nice. Calming, almost, soothing and lessening the sheer panic he’s been feeling for the majority of the day.

“You’re not....” Jon’s voice cracks; he inhales a shaky breath before trying again. “You’re not so bad after all, are you?” He licks his lips before he cautiously tries out the rabbit’s name. “...Junior.”

Jon reaches a wobbly hand up towards Jon Jr. He stares intently at the rabbit, waiting for any sign of alarm or ill will. Seeing none, he places his hand hesitantly on Jon Jr’s back. When the animal shows no sign of startling or moving to dislodge his hand, Jon slowly begins to pet him in short, stilted strokes that quickly become more confident as the rabbit kisses his nose more fervently.

“I suppose...I suppose you can stay for...just a bit longer,” Jon murmurs into the rabbit’s warm fur. He cautiously strokes Jon Jr’s cheeks, chancing a small smile when the rabbit closes his eyes in pleasure.

And if he falls asleep there on the break room couch, there with the comforting warmth and weight of the rabbit he’d set out to hate and instead fallen hopelessly in love with—well. Nobody was there in the Archives to see it, now were they?

-

Too much happens all too fast, in a blur of time and terror. Melanie King limps in on Jon acting much too immature (in his defense, Jon Jr is...difficult to resist when he wants kisses), but the worry over whether she’ll ruin his reputation or not is quickly washed away by the cold terror of realizing that Sasha is not Sasha.

Suddenly there’s an axe in his hand and an oddly swirling tabletop in his sights, and then suddenly Tim and Martin are interrupting him mid-swing, Jon Jr nosing around their ankles.

Then they’re surrounded by splinters of wood and the grotesque, distorted yells of the thing that is not Sasha, the thing that was not ever Sasha, and there’s a yellow door, and a thing with too-many-too-long hands holding out for a deal.

And then they’re running.

Martin gets lost, Jon isn’t entirely sure when—was it back in the twisting halls of Michael’s domain, or down in the twisting tunnels of Smirke’s creation? everything is blurring together at edges tinged with fear—

—and then it’s just him, and Tim, and Jon Jr, and the thing that had been, had been wearing his assistant’s life like some sort of costume, and oh. This is it, isn’t it? They’re about to die, aren’t they.

At least Martin will survive to tell their tale, Jon hopes, feeling a rush of remorse at how abruptly and patronizingly he’s treated his poor assistant. He could’ve been—he could’ve been dead and gone, replaced like Sasha, and Jon never would have known. And now—now Jon is the one about to die. Him and Tim.

God, Tim. He doesn’t particularly like Tim. Tim has been satisfactory enough as an assistant, he supposes—had almost been a friend once, back in their research days—and now....

Now they back into a dead end, practically hugging the wall as not!Sasha slowly approaches them with a look of manic glee on its face. And Jon...he wouldn’t wish this on anyone, regardless of how much he does or doesn’t like them. Certainly he wouldn’t wish this end on Tim...even if a small, selfish part of him is glad that he’s not alone in the end.

It’s just him and Tim. Just like it was back with Prentiss.

Mouth falling slightly open, Jon turns towards the man in question—perhaps to weakly comment as such, he isn’t really sure—only to see Jon Jr leaping out of Tim’s arms.

“Junior!” The word is tugged out of him, unbidden. Dammit, he’s grown attached to the rabbit. And dammit, there are tears prickling at the corners of his eyes as the rabbit obliviously makes his way towards the hungry thing that had pretended to be Sasha. Dammit, dammit, dammit.

Only—

Only then, the rabbit isn’t a rabbit.

It happens much too fast for Jon to really get a good glimpse at what their rabbit becomes. But there’s a loud cracking noise, then a monstrous blur of gray and limbs and mouth and teeth, then another crack and then...nothing. Not even not!Sasha remains. Just a smallish white rabbit in the middle of the now-empty tunnel, sitting primly and licking at one paw.

Jon and Tim gape at each other and at the rabbit, but one thing is for certain:

“...We’re keeping the rabbit,” Jon murmurs, light-headed.

“I—yeah.” Tim nods, and he slumps back against the wall and slowly slides down to the floor of the tunnel. A hand reaches out and snags Jon, dragging him down with, and there, leaning against the wall and each other, the two stare at the not-quite-a-rabbit.

“We’re keeping the rabbit.”

The rabbit-but-not-a-rabbit blinks his innocent red eyes up at them before flopping over to rest, and honestly? Jon thinks Junior has rather the right idea there.

-

And so the rabbit is kept, and Jon and Tim stagger out of the tunnels minus one not!Sasha but still with one not!a rabbit.

Come to think of it, they’re still down one Martin as well, which is admittedly worrisome.

Neither Jon nor Tim is exactly keen to go back in the tunnels so soon after escaping certain death within them. Jon has never been the most athletic of people—he’s an academic, he’s supposed to be sitting behind a desk all day, for christ’s sake—and his legs feel like jelly beneath him as they debate over calling the police.

Tim is of the mind that they should call the police, or at least Basira, whom he stubbornly still refers to as Jon’s “girlfriend” (and Jon is much too tired to dispute that at this point). Jon, on the other hand, doesn’t think even section thirty-one officers would listen to “we went into a door a monster created in a wall and we lost our coworker in a maze of endless passageways.”

Thankfully, it turns out that they needn’t have worried, because Martin turns up not too long after, dizzy and dragging two other people behind him.

One of them is a familiar face—Helen Richardson, whom Martin apparently had picked up while stuck in Michael’s spiralling labyrinth, and who seems quite content to latch onto Martin and sit firmly in one spot in the center of the place, refusing to pass through any doorways whatsoever. But the second person is an unfamiliar face—an aging, gray-haired man who seems impeccably polite, incredibly calm, and increasingly out of place among the dinge of the tunnels and Artifact Storage.

Then the man introduces himself as Jurgen Leitner, and Jon nearly drops Jon Jr.

But Jon is much too tired to deal with that in the moment, so when Martin tentatively suggests a slumber party of sorts in the Archives to ease his, Helen’s, and Leitner’s worries all in one, Jon gives in without the fight he normally would put up.

As the others assemble bedding and piles of pillows and cushions pilfered from the library chairs, Jon manages to snag the break room couch once more for himself...and for Jon Jr.

Jon has absolutely no idea what, exactly, he’s supposed to do now. There are clearly bigger things at play here—or, at least, Leitner seemed to think so, from the little he said before Tim shut him up and sent him to bed—but as he watches Jon Jr nibble on a cucumber peel, Jon feels a bit better, at least, knowing that one of those bigger things might at least be on his side.

(Or, well. Hopefully he can bribe mister “bigger thing” with enough carrots to stay on his side. That is yet to be seen.)

Fin

First || Next

*

I just have so many stupid ideas for this ridiculous AU that I couldn’t just let them live in my head...so I might as well scrawl them out and let y’all enjoy them with me, right? (Or you can tell me to shut tf up if these get too dumb or annoying for you asdhjkl)

But yeah, as you can tell, Jon Jr’s presence will be messing around with canon, because I take any and all opportunities for fix-its. I just really miss my boy Tim and also my wife Sasha ok so sue me

Want to chat or be added onto any of my taglists? Shoot me an ask or a message here or via my other social media!

[antpelts]

kleinsen evens!

send a ship and a number

2. Who is the most insecure and what makes them feel better?

they each got their own problems tbhhh, i feel like they both grow into themselves in college a bit but evan generally needs affirmations sometimes that jared Does like to be around him and Does like him. it happens less over time though. evan also generally could use reassurance on his journey to healing. jared on the other hand i hc with adhd so when it comes to rsd he just needs affirmations sometimes like,, subtle ones are best for him just evan like “yes this game is fun” when jared shows him something. hed rather not draw attention to it

10. What two songs, two books and two luxury items do they take to a desert island?

ah shit this is hard i dont know jdhksjd sorry cop out answer. okay maybe. songs.. evan maybe some showtune or something feelgood that makes him happy. jared.. something weird aka some random BANGER. i feel like jared would like some weird book series in middle school and with adhd he likes to reread the same book /if/ he reads for the comfort of knowing whats gonna happen. evan,, ripleys believe it or not... or world records book... listen.. what even is a luxury item- i googled it and coffee and tea count so thats my answer i guess dljsld

12. What first changes when it starts getting serious?

oh shit hm. jared kinda tries to get his act together to communicate. he still teases and hes still insufferable sometimes but the first thing is he tries to show evan however he can that he does care.

14. When one has a cold, what does the other do?

already answered

16. When the zombie apocalypse comes, how do they cope together?

jhsdjks hrm. evan prolly gets paranoid 24/7. jared.. tries to be a badass. they cope by kissing. : / thats all i got kjdhsjkd

18. When they fight, how do they make up?

already answered

20. Where do they go on holiday?

them going to disney would be cute. thats my final thoughts

22. Where does their first kiss happen?

going off ambiguous college verse. one of their places/dorms. whether its impulsive or not it wouldnt be anywhere even semi public. they have A Moment

26. Why do they need to have a serious chat?

because neither will assert their wants or boundaries. : /

28. Why do they get jealous?

hm. i dont see them as getting jealous maybe more insecure??

30. Why does it work (or not work) between them?

it works bc i say so. kdfjdk- but seriously it works because they make it work. they decide to put in the effort and then it works. only then. they absolutely have the whole shared experiences to go off of and some similar fears/insecurities but yeah

ns/fw text under cut

4. Who can’t keep their hands to themselves?

uhh maybe jared if anything. evan is a little hesitant for a while. eventually evan worries less and will like.. casually brush a hand over his back and stuff. i.. jared clingy is my headcanon..

6. Who would they ask if they ever had a threesome?

they wouldnt?? i dunno. i see them as.. only being into each other and not really thinking about this. if were going with my wmap verse. rich. if they Had to. but yeah i dont see this as a them thing. they value security with each other.

8. What do they like in bed?

i.............. this is a loaded question. im gonna keep it brief........ bc this is a public website. evan likes to hear hes doing good. but he also likes it if only jared is a little mouthy and pushy. jared likes to rile evan up until hes a little frustrated and not afraid to push him around a little. thats all yall get.

24. Where do they first have sex?

already answered

[bufflessbodney]

Hi Dr, I was doing some research into vitamins for my sciatica and came across mention of a supplement I used to take up until right before my first manic episode by the name of rhodiola so I checked and found an article that said it can cause mania. Then I looked into two others I was taking, and, same deal: green coffee supplements which I was taking for energy and maca root powder which to be honest I took in abundance at probably three times the recommended dose, as well as the energy drinks ..being as I had never had a manic episode before I had no idea I was setting myself up for anything; I have had severe chronic muscular pain in my entire body since the age of 20, diagnosed as fibromyalgia -but then one Dr said it wasn't but she did not do nearly as elaborate an assessment as the first- and as a single mom I felt very depleted and lethargic much of the time so I was trying to boost my energy levels and it was working. Then I went on a vacation and to look for housing as we were planning to move, and it was the very first time away from my kids (other than the brief interlude between when my sons were stolen and when my daughter was born which was only a matter of months) and at my friend's house where I was staying (___) so I was unable to sleep for the majority of the time, a nap here and there, and things just got weirder cuz it was a house of partiers and I was seeing a guy there too who was very strange and long story short I ended up wandering the streets and slipped into homelessness within which I obviously did not sleep pretty much ever. I went off all my supplements cold turkey (there were a few others but I cannot remember which). Anyway my daughter and I were very close and talked pretty much constantly and I just remember the LACK of conversation filling my mind with this ..uh ..I don't know how to explain it, it was like I was still talking to her in my head but also needed to find a way to fill the lack somehow. And I also felt deeply compelled to do emotional healing work. The very first bonkers thing that happened and my only 'real' so called 'hallucination' that I recall, was when I screamed in an alley for about 10 minutes because I was persistently haunted by the memory of being recently raped, after which, with wonderful immediacy, I saw tiny rainbows surround and float around me for a couple of minutes. So either I cracked something in my brain by screaming or it was God comforting me or some shit. But I don't think in all my life I had ever screamed before and it was pretty intense.

Then my first manic episode was when after not sleeping at all for days and days, not even an hour, or eating in at least 2 days I think (long story) my weird friend kept taking me into restaurants and then out again and I kept thinking he was going to feed me and I was getting progressively more confused and I guess irritated or whatever word works and a guy noticed and offered me a toke off his joint and I hadn't smoked in a while and I took a huge blast and it just sent me (back) into screamland:

So this is why I think we are mainly dealing with PTSD stuff cuz I have been an expert at repressing my whole life, like, really really good at it. And then the subsequent manic episodes were, in my opinion, similarly, like, echoes of the first; occurring out of an impulse toward healing but sort of forced by circumstance (not sleeping, eating, excessive marijuana intake, etc). I also have pretty strong theories with regard to subtler considerations but you may neither be interested in such 'pseudo' scientifickicities or persuaded by them. However, myself having lived in BC for half my life where holistic medicine is considered the norm in many if not most circles, I cannot discount my views or replace them with what I consider to be a less than evolved conception of matters at hand (no offence; 'research' being what it is is still just at whatever stage it is at, and is not in itself a proof of truth or however you wanna phrase that). Such considerations are the effects of pretty much every thing I ingest on 'whatever' level they effect upon. During 'mania' or 'hypomania' it 'feels' like straight up 'vibration nuance variability' but I have such a sensitive disposition and I mean that physically as well that I can back that up with my own, less wacko\esoteric/bonko research and experience. For example I was vegetarian from the age of 18 until days before I went manic the first time (which I believe is another factor) and then felt addicted to meat and couldn't quit until a couple of months ago. Then I was tempted into eating meat again and I literally couldn't stop feeling like I was going to die afterwards. Albeit it was just like a wandering, mild, but still persistent thought, and I was high, but I never feel paranoid or yucky like that and I know it was the meat. Dairy has somewhat similar effects on me, but almost the opposite (I feel emotionally comforted by it but my body physically does not like it). And when manic or hypomanic I am really compelled toward vegetables like I used to be as a vegetarian but sort of lost my zazz for since becoming bipolar for some reason, BUT, I find them a nuisance and too fibrous and find myself sucking the juice out of them. Etc.

Anyway, blah blah blah who cares about the rantings of some lunatic, but I, for myself, think there is something very simple and natural to the process of healing, and that ultimately it would be within God's design to draw us back into harmony with nature at some point. I know I am 'ahead of my time' in many respects, I'm not a genius for nothing, but I feel encouraged by our last meeting and now that you have acknowledged the possibility that I might not be bipolar (and please understand that it is because to me the diagnosis simply does not make sense given what I understand about myself and my life and the nature of reality etc) I feel my time of necessarily challenging what does not make sense or sit right in my mind (for how couldn't I?) is less of a necessity and we can focus on potentialities etc. And don't worry I don't go around spouting my 'wisdom', I just live my life and if people learn anything from me it is only by paying attention.

Sorry about my run on paragraphs, I honestly cannot figure out how to not.

[florencestudiesstuff]

tw brief discussion of mental illness (bpd and anorexia)

not study related but i have no friends and i need to get my feelings out

my girlfriend broke up with me and i can’t breathe and i feel like everything’s falling apart

i was just starting to get to a semi-decent point with my mental health (i have bpd + an eating disorder) ie the best i’ve been in a very long time and certainly since we met and this is a huge, very triggering setback bc it confirms a lot of the worst thoughts i had when i was at my sickest

my ed was constantly trying to convince me that unless i was sick and literally dying then everybody i loved would leave, and now that i’m much healthier the most important person in my life is abandoning me and i don’t understand and it doesn’t feel real and i’ve been stuck in this weird dissociative paranoid constantly splitting state ever since it happened

and i just

i was just starting to get better and i don’t think i can do it without her she’s helped me through so much and i’d literally be dead if not for her and she promised she’d never leave me but i guess people always say that and it’s never true and i TRUSTED HER and i never trust ANYBODY and i have so much uni stuff to deal with at the moment and i just got back from being overseas for a month and oh my god i just can’t deal with this right now

[crafiet]

1-50 OC questionnaire !!

ill use ary

1. What’s their full name? Why was that chosen? Does it mean anything?anyone else paranoid about people stealing their unpublished work or ideas or name bc me. her name is ary and i found it from a generator [lmao so original] and i thought it was cute. her last name is like pretty standard for fantasy and it inspired me to have everyone elses last names in a similar vibe2. Do they have any titles? How did they get them?WELL lmao shes had a lot. prisoner #22876, the wraith, princess ary. ive scrapped all except the prisoner one and u can guess how she got it3. Did they have a good childhood? What are fond memories they have of it? What’s a bad memory? she was raised among royals and nobles so she has a lot of good memories with her parents and other kids her age running around doing dumb shit. most of her bad memories happen once she becomes a teenager4. What is their relationship with their parents? What’s a good and bad memory with them? Did they know both parents? she has an overwhelming love for her parents, she idolizes them heavily and is grateful for how much they taught her. a good memory is probably them teaching her how to use magic for the first time and she being unable to control it and almost burning her eyebrows off lmao5. Do they have any siblings? What’s their names? What is their relationship with them? Has their relationship changed since they were kids to adults?no siblings6. What were they like at school? Did they enjoy it? Did they finish? What level of higher education did they reach? What subjects did they enjoy? Which did they hate?tbh i havent thought much about their education system as young kids, since its not really relevant and i dont tend to worldbuild stuff that never shows up. however she did attend an academy specifically for her magic caste and she had a fun time up until some shit went down and she deserted. shes pretty competitive and liked versing her friends7. Did they have lots of friends as a child? Did they keep any of their childhood friends into adulthood? she was one of those weird kids who preferred hanging out with her parents over everybody else. so she had one good friend in the academy whos still her friend today, but otherwise she would race home and annoy her mum lol8. Did they have pets as a child? Do they have pets as an adult? Do they like animals? no pets. she has a soft spot for horses though, because she has had so many in her “career”9. Do animals like them? Do they get on well with animals? horses like her, i guess they can sense shes good with them. at one point in the novel she sees some jackals and is afraid of them so shes probably not a dog person10. Do they like children? Do children like them? Do they have or want any children? What would they be like as a parent? Or as a godparent/babysitter/ect?she doesnt have anything against kids, but shes not very good with them, shes never been one for baby talk or dumbing herself down. in one draft she takes care of some adolescents and lets cyri take over bc he loves kids lol11. Do they have any special diet requirements? Are they a vegetarian? Vegan? Have any allergies?nahh12. What is their favourite food? uhhhhhhhhhhhhh13. What is their least favourite food?uhHHHHHH14. Do they have any specific memories of food/a restaurant/meal?man idk, its not like my characters arent well rounded realistic people but im not gonna know her favourite fucking colour bc it doesnt matter in the story lmao15. Are they good at cooking? Do they enjoy it? What do others think of their cooking?i would say shes ok, she doesnt burn anything but shes not a gourmet chef [despite having lessons as a child]16. Do they collect anything? What do they do with it? Where do they keep it? ohh i used to have an answer for this but she probably doesnt now just bc shes pretty nomadic and usually only has the clothes on her back lmao17. Do they like to take photos? What do they like to take photos of? Selfies? What do they do with their photos?cameras dont exist in her world my dudee. but if she lived in modern day which ive thought of, shed be the type to take a bunch of pics of her friends and stuff she likes bc she likes having the memory in a solid form, her actual memory is shit lol18. What’s their favourite genre of: books, music, tv shows, films, video games and anything elsehmm i suppose shed be a horror fan, and shed love making fun of stupid characters19. What’s their least favourite genres?man idk. romance? shes kinda #2edgy4me20. Do they like musicals? Music in general? What do they do when they’re favourite song comes?hmm i think shes more a soft music fan, just something idly playing in the background. ex. a bard playing something for the crowd while she kicks back w friends21. Do they have a temper? Are they patient? What are they like when they do lose their temper?she has a short temper. shes easily triggered with any emotion so shes quick to argue or whatever22. What are their favourite insults to use? What do they insult people for? Or do they prefer to bitch behind someone’s back?id like to think shes witty, and she always says stuff to peoples faces bc a bitch has rabies and wants to fight apparently23. Do they have a good memory? Short term or long term? Are they good with names? Or faces?bad memory, shes gone through physical torture and isolation [wew] so. shes better at names, growing up with royals she got to learn a bunch of family names etc24. What is their sleeping pattern like? Do they snore? What do they like to sleep on? A soft or hard mattress?a light sleeper. crazy light. and she can sleep anywhere, so she has no problems sleeping on the ground unlike others25. What do they find funny? Do they have a good sense of humour? Are they funny themselves?she pretends to be stoic but when u get to know her her humour’s pretty lame, shell laugh at anything if just to make u feel better26. How do they act when they’re happy? Do they sing? Dance? Hum? Or do they hide their emotions? she tends to hide them under an indifferent mask27. What makes them sad? Do they cry regularly? Do they cry openly or hide it? What are they like they are sad?despite being able to hide her emotions, she does succumb to fear a lot and cries openly, but will continue to do whatever shes doing through tears so shes scary in that regard28. What is their biggest fear? What in general scares them? How do they act when they’re scared?abandonment is a huge one. shes not a fan of predatory animals. shes brave though, and will do whatevers necessary, kinda like unwilling exposure therapy lol29. What do they do when they find out someone else’s fear? Do they tease them? Or get very over protective? she doesnt like exploiting people so shell never use someones fear against them. for friends, shell protect them and warn them if something like that is gonna happen30. Do they exercise? Regularly? Or only when forced? What do they act like pre-work out and post-work out?lmao she walks or goes horse riding everywhere and is severely malnourished31. Do they drink? What are they like drunk? What are they like hungover? How do they act when other people are drunk or hungover? Kind or teasing?i just wrote a scene like this!! shes louder in general, laughs more. her guard comes down more and more with every drink. she can hold her liquor pretty well but when shes blacked out shes pretty much useless32. What do they dress like? What sorta shops do they buy clothes from? Do they wear the fashion that they like? What do they wear to sleep? Do they wear makeup? What’s their hair like?she prefers comfort and mobility over everything else. she tends to dress pretty masculine, and never does anything with her hair. does she know what a brush is?33. What underwear do they wear? Boxers or briefs? Lacey? Comfy granny panties?...................ask her lol idk. probably just basic comfy ones34. What is their body type? How tall are they? Do they like their body?she is 5′9. when shes healthy, she has a willowy figure but more on the boxy side than curvy. she doesnt really attribute much to her body [imagine living life without dysmorphia mfg]35. What’s their guilty pleasure? What is their totally unguilty pleasure? i dont she counts anything as a ‘guilty’ pleasure. she just enjoys what she enjoys, fuck whatever people think36. What are they good at? What hobbies do they like? Can they sing?she loves fishing! she used to do it a lot with her dad. i dont think shes a particularly good singer37. Do they like to read? Are they a fast or slow reader? Do they like poetry? Fictional or non fiction?yeah she likes reading. she reads pretty fast and prefers nonfiction. she thinks poetry can get too pretentious lmao38. What do they admire in others? What talents do they wish they had?#deep but i think she admires kindness and care in others. she wishes she was a better person at times and wants to be able to express how much people meant to her39. Do they like letters? Or prefer emails/messaging? lmao letters are the only thing in her world. if she lived w us shed probably be all about texting 600 in a row and then calling when u dont reply “what do u mean you cant answer. its called INSTANT messaging for a reason!!”40. Do they like energy drinks? Coffee? Sugary food? Or can they naturally stay awake and alert?she stays awake through sheer willpower shes a beast41. What’s their sexuality? What do they find attractive? Physically and mentally? What do they like/need in a relationship?shes bi/pan. not really a thing about labels in her world. she loves long hair and soft personalities42. What are their goals? What would they sacrifice anything for? What is their secret ambition?plot spoilers!!43. Are they religious? What do they think of religion? What do they think of religious people? What do they think of non religious people?shes not religious. there is a heavy theme of religion in the novel [which i need to write better in the second draft] but she was kinda skeptical as a child and probably lost faith entirely after she went through some harrowing stuff 44. What is their favourite season? Type of weather? Are they good in the cold or the heat? What weather do they complain in the most? winter. she prefers the cold and hates heat45. How do other people see them? Is it similar to how they see themselves? i think people see her as scarier than she is. shes a formidable opponent and does not give a fuck what you say, but her reputation precedes her a little bit, a lot of things she did out of fear or force are seen as ‘badass’ and ‘brave’46. Do they make a good first impression? Does their first impression reflect them accurately? How do they introduce themselves?shes a compulsive liar, and a good one at that. so she tends to show herself differently to almost everyone she meets, but usually its a false potrayal47. How do they act in a formal occasion? What do they think of black tie wear? Do they enjoy fancy parties and love to chit chat or loathe the whole event?ugh she haaaaaates formal stuff and parties. she grew up royal and had to suffer through many a dinner and gathering. at this point in her life youd never get her in a dress that impeded her movement. shes ok with dresses but really big poofy ones she refuses to wear48. Do they enjoy any parties? If so what kind? Do they organise the party or just turn up? How do they act? What if they didn’t want to go but were dragged along by a friend? in our world shed be one for a chill house party. show up with a case of beer, sit outside by the barbie, listen to music and talk shit. shes not good at organising so she doesnt tend to host, and if she were dragged by a friend itd probably be to a formal event or with people she didnt know so shed just sulk in the corner49. What is their most valued object? Are they sentimental? Is there something they have to take everywhere with them?she abandoned her material possessions before the story a. bc she was forced and b. they bring back way too many painful memories50. If they could only take one bag of stuff somewhere with them: what would they pack? What do they consider their essentials? food, change of clothes, weapons. thats about it. she tries not to be super nasty and find an inn to shower and stuff but shes also poor af