#i wanted to trigger tag this just in case

[aceofwhump]

Heroes 1x01

[matchalovertrait]

What is a chef to do when she loses her appetite due to sadness?

[villain-disorder]

The thing is, I'll never know if it's me as the problem. I will never know if people really don't show they care enough, or in the right ways--or if I will never be happy because the wiring of my brain will never accept however people express care as truth. I don't know if I'll ever be able to trust that people care, that it will get better and people have my back, or feel comforted by anything.

I don't know what to say to people when they ask how to help. "Show me you care" is so fucking vague, and I don't know what to answer with if I'm asked how to do that. I don't know what my brain will accept. On one hand I have no idea how to help myself, and my psychologist doesn't seem to either--it feels like I will never heal or feel secure. On the other, if I knew how to help myself, the things people could say to calm me, and I explained to them how.... Would they feel fake because I spelled it out for them? Would my mind just twist their care into an act of silencing me?

I am so, so tired. I hold so much in so that I don't hurt people. I don't lash out and yell at people about how little they seem to care, I don't touch anyone, I don't even blame anyone but myself. All this weight applied to myself to protect others from my pain, and even at my most paletable and small and weak, no one can help.

Mind you, I'm not going anywhere. I'm just severely hurting, and every time I get into a place like this, it feels awkward, or just another "wait till he shuts up and then act like it never happened". I don't feel like I'm ever taken seriously by anyone in my life, sometimes.

[obsessivelollipoplalala]

As someone who knew nothing of Neil Gaiman before Good Omens, immediately became annoyed with him once I saw his internet posts and contributions to fandom discourse 5 years ago, and distanced myself from the fandom partly because I was really irritated by how much everyone worshipped him, I really hate the minority of smug voices that are basically like, "hahaha I'm so superior for never watching his cringey stuff and always knowing he was shit <3"

Stop using women's suffering to feed your ego and gain internet points. You did not know he was a rapist. Stop pretending that your annoyance with tumblr discourse gave you special insight into anything more serious. In hindsight, considering that he used his fame and status to manipulate women, that does give a more sinister feeling to his evident desire to be praised by adoring fans on tumblr, but there are also celebrities who've never been accused of anything and who use social media to promote their work with no ulterior motives. The fact is that most abusers do not seem like "the type" and do not put up red flags to people outside of their interpersonal relationships. It's important to understand this so that when someone accuses a person who you do like of abuse, you don't immediately dismiss them because, "What? No, not him! He's not that kind of guy!"

It would be a lot easier to stop abuse if the only people who committed it were the ones with outwardly bad or weird behavior.

(I'm once again begging women to read Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men)

[sematary-drive]

guys look at this weird game i found in the bargain bin at mcdonalds lol. wdym they dont have bargain bins at mcdonalds.

jerma webcam version under the cut

guys, oh my god, guys, no, im not showing her SKELETON. "organs andy", okay stop it guys. im not- HAHAHAH- okay, fine.

[lambandlimbs]

Decided to make my own Ship Template after having so much fun with the ones made by made by Bunnyarcana, Gibbarts, and Foxgiveness! Blank image, and a completed one I made for reference! If you'd like the PSD file, you can find it here (Google Drive)! Edit each section to your heart's content! I only ask that you don't remove the credit on the bottom, and please don't use the template for in**st or any variety of adult&minor ships. Thank you!

[moeblob]

So, Fall 5 rolls around and I give Elliott flowers in the morning while he's trapped in his shack (because it's raining on a bday again wow). I continue on with my day in game and grab a hot pepper and run over to the bar to give Shane a gift. Which is delayed because I had to get drunk with Elliott first, then am politely removed from the premises as the heart event ends, and walked RIGHT BACK INSIDE while still drunk from Elliott and give Shane a hot pepper and wobbled back out. But it's so funny to imagine Shane watching the weird farmer getting drunk, leaving, running back in to hand him a pepper, and then leaving /again/.

[holocene-sims]

next // previous

may 11, 2013 3:00 a.m. grant's old apartment

please, i know you're in there people are asking where you've been they say "have courage", and i'm trying to i'm right out here for you just let me in we only have each other it's just you and me what are we gonna do? 🎵

[etherealspacejelly]

hi, sorry to hear you're having a hard time 💞

would it help/feel nice to talk about star trek?

if yes: what are some of the best things about Spock? like we know and love him, but if you had to explain to someone

if no (or either way actually): I am sending you a warm cup of tea (or preferred drink of your choice) and wishing you well 💕

i am currently so anxious i feel nauseus and can't eat breakfast! so yes. that might help. lets do that

i think one of the best things about spock is his inner conflict and character arc throughout the show and movies. he is a man at war with himself. he is emotional, and disagrees with that emotion, but to repress that emotion does him harm. his human blood makes it impossible to ignore those emotions, and that causes him shame.

this makes him a nuanced and complex character. we get to explore who he is when those walls come down. we get to see how he tries to build those walls up further and fails, and what causes him to fail. through him we get to ask the question "what even is 'logical', anyway?"

he also represents everything 'other'. i think many people relate to spock because he resonates with so many experiences. biracial people, queer people, neurodivergent people, and probably others, all see themselves reflected in this character. he never quite seems to fit in anywhere, certainly not on his own home planet. his parents pull him in two different directions, they expect things of him that he is not able to do. he was outcasted as a child by his peers. he found refuge in starfleet, but even then he still feels like an alien, an outsider, never quite good enough.

yeah idk this is all just off the dome so if any of it is wrong or doesnt make sense, thats why. dont take this too seriously i am a stem student after all

[gladosluver]

i think about that scene with mikan and ryota in the despair arc way too much and scream about it.

/ mentions of s/a & attempted rap3

it's so sad to see him be brave and step up to help kyoko because she was in the same position he was when mikan assaulted him. + the fact he doesn't usually try to stand up for himself until later episodes, and sticks to defending others instead

maybe im digging too far into this, but the way this is a reoccuring thing in the series (appearing twice in dr3 future/the comic anthology) is a bit disturbing. it seems that whenever mitarai is brought up, something about s/a is sure to follow, like his trauma is being downplayed for the sake of some joke/bit.

i cant help but think the two references in the future arc were written in just to be funny. like "haha, stupid mitarai, thats not sexual harassment!!" this is further influenced by how the other characters react, brushing it off and moving on (as well as kizakura, quite literally, defending himself in anime terms)

i dont want to get too deep into dark stuff here, so if i continue this it'll be via a reblog from my other account that i've kept secret until right now

[ask-eden]

Alaxia begins laughing hysterically, but still trying to continue speaking Alaxia: That just HAhah.,.,. THAT JUST AHHAHAAa.a.. HAPPENss..S OMETIME AHAHAHAHAhAAA Oh my GOD Alaxia covers his mouth with both hands to try and avoid laughing further His earlier painful outburst, seems to have calmed down For now. It still...... lingers. Deep within the back of his head, feeling like claws raking the back of his skull The alcohol barely masks the thing inside, desperately trying to rip its way out. Yet, Alaxia remains calm. Happy even. He begins to purr and leans back into his arms. Alaxia: I'M fINe... Heeeheeee~ I'M FINE IM FINE... Alaxia begins to laugh to himself under his breath a bit, covering his mouth once more to try and hide that he's giggling. Much how like a child would hide their laughter. He is failing terribly -- -- -- [ Alaxia is now Intoxicated ] [ Anon ] [ Background by @/sinnohsiblings ] Mod note: This doesn't effect ongoing interactions or anything previously set up. If a interaction set up from before continues, he will not be drunk. This is for most things going forward.

[byfulcrums]

the elections are today. i'm genuinely so scared. i hope milei doesn't win because if he does then we won't be able to pay for my grandpa's treatment

[moldsporr]

Okay guys hold on

I've been seeing a lot of Desuhiko hate on my dash, and sure he's annoying when it comes to women, but like

He never came across as a misogynist...?? At least to me

Can someone show me when he was like that?

Sure it's annoying that he flirts with every woman he sees, but. Once he realizes they're not interested he backs off

Like. Compare him to this archetype in danganronpa.

Hifumi? Calls literal children shotas and lolis.

Toko? Just. Look at how she talks about Togami. The man isn't even interested AND she reminds him of an abuser

Teruteru? Drugs Hajime and tries to trick Sonia into shit.

Souda? Wouldn't stop chasing Sonia even though it was obvious she wasn't interested.

Miu? Literally assaulted people and flashed children

Desuhiko doesn't really come close? Except maybe to Souda? But Desuhiko DOES back off when he realizes he's not getting anywhere with a person

So can someone please explain why they hate him so much to me? Like genuinely I wanna understand that viewpoint

(Also before anyone asks I am simply pointing out flaws in the danganronpa characters listed. I love a good chunk of the ones I listed.)

[a-moth-called-mof]

[Disclaimer: I understand this apology is aimed mostly at Shubble and i am not implying i have greater authority over her or the right to accept or deny this apology. Also full disclosure: I've only seen her first VOD about the situation so I may be lacking some information] i might change my mind but rn i wanna get my thoughts out and. idk i feel like his apology is kinda bad? like okay. i do like that he mentioned hes in therapy and that he's validating her feelings and stating that she's allowed to feel how she does and that no matter what his perspective is, he did hurt her. HOWEVER. I feel like he's not addressing the financial abuse T-T and also it feels very "hahah oopsie. did an abuse. my bad"? Like. Okay sure, he thought it was playful sure and that's a valid perspective but I feel like he's completely ignoring the part where she told him to stop repeatedly. He's very much framing this or well implying that she didn't communicate her boundaries with him when she very much did and I feel like framing it as an "Oopsie. i did a fucky wucky. sorry that YOURE upset i guess" kind of implicitly shifts blame away from him. Idk at the end of the day, it's not my place to speak on this and like, he did mention he had dms he's just not sharing out of respect for her (which. is good) but I feel like the lack of acknowledgement about certain allegations (like the financial stuff ) and the general implicit framing of this as miscommunication feels off and like the opposite of taking full accountability

[h-didanart]

Tw selfharm

I blurred it

Didn’t appear blurred to me, but let’s hope it works!

Oh. Oh, Bloodmoon. I’m sorry.

This is a very sad piece, the gradient all around the drawing gives a somber atmosphere, Blood seemingly hugging himself reminds us of what exactly he’s dealing with, the scars reveal just how badly he’s taking it, and having his expression shadowed by his hood was just the perfect way to convey his misery.

I also feel the need to point out that the way you drew the tears is very good, they look like actual tears and not just chicken scratch (which the ones I draw usually look like)

Very good drawing, it’s heartbreaking, sad, and perfectly communicates the character’s feelings.

Btw, are those ears under his hood?

*takes a deep sigh*

Okay, I’m sorry, I could not stop myself from rambling about my aus here. This drawing reminded me of some stuff from my aus and, y’know, I thought I’d share, just some quick explanations and then nothing more. But then I started writing and then I had a paragraph and then I started writing from the character’s own feelings and… *sighs* I’m sorry.

You don’t have to read this if you don’t wanna, it’s really just my writer brain having been activated and immediately lore dumping everything I had that reminded me of what you’ve shown me. Again, ya don’t need to read this, it’ll probably make you uncomfortable or upset or both. But if you do, uh, thanks? Don’t hate me?

Below is discussion of these topics: self harm and suicidal ideation

(Do not force yourself to read what’s next, read safely)

You know, I too have kinda thought of Bloodmoon doing this, not the canon one, but the ones from at least two of my main aus. I don’t know if it’ll be canon to the aus, but they’re at least interesting things to think through from a psychological and angst writer standpoint.

Both twins in ‘Get in losers’ post separation, for different reasons.

Harvest because without their other half she genuinely cannot feel anything, so she resorts to the one thing they know they’ll feel, that being pain, all of it focused on her unusable arm, her missing half’s. She gets better when they get reunited, tho they’re afraid of relapsing whenever she’s away from Hunter for an extended period of time.

Hunter because his body is wrong. Jigsaw did not care to explain to them that his body was made to suit a female AI, and when they realize this they try to hide it as much as possible, hiding his chest using whatever he can find, usually to the detriment of his internal fan system, and picking at the casing on their hips hoping to one day be able to take a whole chunk off. They don’t get better when they are reunited, actually Harvest probably catches him about to pass out from overheating due to a broken fan, from there I could see Harvest asking Solar for help with this and Hunter accepting the help after resisting it due to the embarrassment//shame//humiliation from it.

And then there’s Harvest… from ‘Quiet Throes’.

They’ve both taken their situation as badly as one can take that situation, there’s just too many feelings for them to process, so naturally some got ignored. Harvest wasn’t too keen on talking about his own feelings of worthlessness to begin with, and with them insisting on focusing on Bloody they kinda just kept it all in. The twins take turns sleeping at some point, it doesn’t stop the exhaustion they feel, nor does it stop the images flashing in their eyes every time they blink, but they still try to lighten the load for one another. That’s what it was supposed to be, at least. He didn’t know how he started, they just know they were tired of seeing all that over and over and over and over. The pain was a relief, something their mind could focus on that wasn’t the screams echoing in his hearing, but it didn’t last long, so they did it again. And again, and again, and again. Bloody woke up. And then he realized what he had been doing. It wasn’t permanent damage, Solar had been very careful and effective in stopping the oil and sealing their wounds, but it still left a pretty big impact on them all. Harvest was focused on more since then, with him reluctantly starting to talk about some of his issues, but they could never shake off the guilt. Bloody didn’t deserve to deal with his issues. Bloody didn’t deserve to deal with their stupid decisions… Maybe it would all be better if he hadn’t survived.

I

AM

SO

SORRY

YOU

HAD

TO

READ

THAT

.m.

I’m sorry

[satellitedarling]

had another nightmare last night but it wasn't about anything from my past life experiences this time, at least not explicitely, it was just scary, strange, nothing intense and horrifying but ive spent half a year with like 0 notable nightmares and now all of a sudden i have a bunch of them in the span of 2 weeks!! i don't get it but eh its spicing things up at least I guess lol, this one involved a guy who had been paying people to harass and assassinate me, and succeeded in killing me, after which I woke up the morning of the day of my death in a sort of 'this day is repeating in a time loop' scenario, except this time I knew what he would do and had learned from my mistakes so I killed him first and then I beheaded him and carved "this man cannot pay you to kill me anymore" on his forehead (inglorious basterds style if you guys see the scene im referencing), as his hired assassins watched, I was probably hoping they'd leave me alone now but they found a way around the big fence separating us and so I started running away towards a building but it wasn't my house, i think it was the white house? and then the dream ended. the guy who paid people to kill me, he called himaself 'psycal' or psychal or psikal or psychale or whatever (i know how its pronounced but idk how its spelt.

warning: vent below

This is the only nightmare I felt comfortable sharing because every other recent nightmare of these past two weeks I've been noting down on my phone's notes app had been very clearly influenced and reminescent of a childhood-teenagehood event that 'marked' me. i dont like the word traumatised because it makes me feel like im an impostor who's exaggerating their woes to garner sympathy. i dont feel like im broken enough to be using the word traumatised. but the health professionals around me all say otherwise, its hard to believe them though, i know something is up, i know something is wrong with me because of certain things that have happened, i just cant use the word in reference to myself without wanting to slap myself across the face. This is only to me though, every person who uses the words traumatised have been, are, and will be, valid, always. self criticism is a complicated thing.

this nightmare makes no sense to me and yet im a firm believer that most dreams always contain a seedling of our past experiences and current mental state due to them originating from our brains, i have no idea who you are psycal, i have no idea where you're from, i have no idea what you represent.