#i wanted to contribute in my own way
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The idea of a Braavosi alphabet has been churning around in the back of my head for a while, and I’ve finally settled on a version I feel is interesting and “right” for the setting!
Sorry a couple of the letters are out of order and also for the image rendering, my handwriting is not all that great lol
Love love love Braavos it is so medieval Florence Venice core and I wanted to reflect the visual style of the manuscripts of that era with the script. I also felt like the Braavosi script would be in a rounded style especially during this time where it’s written by quill and inkbrush. The script kinda tended towards “standard fantasy alphabet” decisions like making it an alphabet and having both uppercase and lowercase versions of the letters, but I felt like it worked well for the aesthetics.
The script has been in use for more than 400 years, being developed at least in part by the Moonsingers who first came to Braavos by escaped slave ship, so I imagined that it was first used to write a form of Low Valyrian before evolving over time as the language turned into the modern Braavosi thats spoken during the time of the main series.
Most of the letters have existed since the beginning of the script except for “f” which developed later in Braavos’s history. There are two “y” letters: the one that’s just y is treated as a vowel (like in Daenerys) and the one that’s j/y is a consonant (like in the name Yorko). “gh” (as in “Valar morghulis”) exists as a letter but its pretty archaic today as the sound doesnt exist in the language of the city today. “x” only exists for transcribing the back-of-the-throat guttural sound but only like the Iron Bank uses it if you ask pearl merchant #17 about that letter they probably couldnt answer you
More information about the technical details and thought process behind this script can be found at this post
#i loved seeing the fandoms contributions to grrms worldbuilding in fashion and hairstyles and so much art#i wanted to contribute in my own way#plus i feel strongly that braavos should have its own unique visual style as we get some hints of it in the books but more is left unfilled#asoiaf#neography#braavos#game of thrones#my posts
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yuusha didn’t have anything else to wear so💥
#girl stop looking at me like that#the way i draw yuusha’s braid so inconsistently#anyways uhhhhh#unintentional sequel to my jamil art this morning???#or honestly this can be considered a totally separate incident#make up your own conclusions i guess because i dont know myself 😔#i just wanted to draw her in jamil’s sweater 😔💪#[—✦-#-✧ my art#twst art#twisted wonderland#twst#twst yuu#twst yuusona#(💜) yuusha#-✦—]#also-#it’s daylight savings here#which means our clock went back one hour#im eepy but cant eep#but also it may be because i steeped my tea for longer than i shouldve#my heart is. palpitating#(and the coffee this morning prob also contributed uhhhhh)#this is all jade’s fault#i’m FINE yall can ignore this fjdndjsj#lil lore update by me
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every time I hear someone say "oh you have to listen to Dear Evan Hansen it has such good mental health representation" I cry in Next to Normal
#next to normal#and yes this is based on a true story#generally I dont try to juck anyones jum so I of course didn't tell that person what I was thinking at that moment#and if someone found Dear Evan Hansen a useful text in terms of their own mental health journey who am I to discredit that#but this is the internet and I am back on the ntn train#in a way it is my saf autumn musical#and yes I am a survior of the 2017 Tony Awards why were you asking?#no but seriously#it is so interesting how many narrative devices Dear Evan Hansen took from Next to Normal#but turned them into a less complete piece#like Gabe in ntn is a representation of unadressed grief and trauma and the family has to accept that he will never be really gone#and connor is just...idk not fully thought out?#idk I'm rambling#but also#how the love story between Henry and Natalie means something#Natalie sees her parent's relationship and desperately doesn't want that for herself and Henry at the same time also stand for#a piece of normalcy that seems attainable#you don't sit there and think hu why is there this completely separate love story thrown in there?#it mirrors the problems#and dear evan hansen#do I even have to say it#I thnk the thing I resent it most for is that it has a love story#naja#I'm of listening to net to normal some more#sorry I someone who really likes deh stumbles accross this#I feel like espechially musicals can be something that can be so personal#and I don't actually want to contribute to more stuff like#ew why do you like this when theres xyz that is so much better or morally purer or whatever#I guess what I do want to say is: if I had a nickle for everytime they made a musical about mental health where theres a ghost on stage and#the sister of the dead kid falls in love with a funny guy while her family is falling apart
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Drew WWX and LWJ after I finished my rewatch of The Untamed a few months ago. I have gotten marginally better. May this set a benchmark for what to expect from this blog.
June 2023 redraw, June 2024 redraw
#Poorly Drawn MDZS#MDZS#wei wuxian#Lan Wanji#there are a lot of great artists in this fandom. I am not one of them#I've always admired artists a lot so I wanted to try learning how to draw#And the only way to start is to draw a lot. Enter the audio drama (and my desire to listen to it guilt free)#doing both at once was my way of participating in my own fandom#as much as I wanted to be super social on the MDZS forums...I honestly got really nervous#I have nothing to contribute besides going 'cool!' to other people's art#Writing and historical/theory posts. It kinda felt worse than isolation...#That aside...I am just here to dump my silly comics and I expect absolutely nothing to come of it#I'm blogging like that lady from that julia child movie. about the cookbook. I forgot what its called. this is just a journal to me
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#Didn't want to add kink discourse to a random stranger's post But#The way so many soft feedists have overused the word 'wholesome' to describe that flavour of feedism has made it a total turn-off to me#Even a red flag#Bc it's always used on posts deliberately trying to make feedism seem more palatable and harmless#And to distance themselves from CNC/health play/fatphobia play feedism#And to be like 'haha normies think we're evil but we're really such uwu cutie-pies'#😒 sorry but first of all I wanna be a grown adult into feedism - like you do you but sometimes it's treated as if#soft feedism IS baby talk feedism and that that's the default? Like that there's death feedism or there's tumby feedism and that's it#And on the other hand it screams moralizing kink and makes it easier to excuse your own and others' bad behavior#Because I'm just a harmless little soft feedist who cares about fat people not like one of those unenlightened dark feedists#Where someone's potential for causing discomfort or contributing to abusive dynamics is reduced to fixed attributes or aesthetics#rather than to someone's (or your own) actual actions#I know I've talked about this before and I know I'm a soft feedist at heart myself AND I know I'm being hyperbolic#But whenever several 'wholesome' posts start circulating around my dash ad nauseum like they have the past few days 😒😒😒#I just try to grit my teeth but I need to let the hater rattle the bars of its cage about it once in a while...#Obligatory 'this is not directed at anyone- I've seen a few lately and it's more about patterns of behavior than individual posts'
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In discussions about mental health, I am so tired of the only voices mattering being other people or other people who do not deal with a condition/disorder or a specific situation.
"Here's how I deal with loved ones with [x] condition!"
"If you do [y] because of [x mental health reason], you're selfish and everybody who loves you is having their lives made harder by you!"
"If your symptoms are [z], you're gross, and you deserve no sympathy for struggling"
I understand to an extent why people do this, but holy hell, as somebody who struggles and struggles often, the last thing any of us need to be told is that we're a burden that others have to carry. And it's terrible how everybody else's feelings but ours matter - even if we are the ones most affected by our condition or situation.
If you are dealing with issues surrounding your mental health and well-being, know that everything above isn't true; you are worthy of patience, understanding, kindness, and love. You are worthy of being listened to without judgment. You don't have to apologize or "make up" for who you are or what you struggle with.
#mental health#mental health advocacy#sanism#sanism tw#ableism#ableism tw#since when do we just go 'you're sick? well I'M more affected by YOUR illness than YOU are so my voice matters MORE'#i'm actually genuinely angry that people think saying stuff like that is appropriate#and when i say 'deal with' i mean when people treat those they say they love like a burden#simultaneously discussions about mental health have gotten better and have stay horrific and lack compassion or nuance#like people have more words to describe mental health but they cling to their disgust for us ~insanes~ like it's a lifeline#TW FOR MENTIONS OF SUIDIDE AFTER THIS TAG#when i actively wanted to take my life being told that i was selfish did NOT help. it made the desires STRONGER#because i had something ELSE to use to justify why my death was imperative. if i was selfish then why do i deserve others?#do you see why these discussions are harmful at *best* and can be the final factor in a decision like that?#sure. maybe those discussions alone won't be what pushes somebody to pass like that.#but it will have contributed to the demonization of mentally ill people#those discussions aren't going to save us from suicidality or something equally seen as drastic#videos like abigail thorn's cosmonaut video were actually way *more* helpful because she was compassionate#she provided compassion and empathy and was vulnerable enough to share her *own* experiences#i think i'm going to re-watch it for the....... 500th time#i'm so glad she kept her old videos up. this one is one of my favourites#heavy watch but i forever will be grateful to her and the others who helped me out of that pit
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i’m not a transandrophobia truther in the slightest don’t get me wrong, but i think some people on here really need to realize and comprehend the fact that cis women, way WAY more often than not, hold extremely significant social and political power over trans men the vast majority of the time in our day to day lives
#sorry not to get on this bullshit i just saw a related post when i opened this app lmao#and by some people i don’t mean anyone in particular im not vagueing anyone or any specific post#and i especially don’t mean any transfem calling out transmisogynistic transmascs either#but yeah i see a lot of implication that trans men are like. somehow significantly privileged over cis women#and ofc i don’t mean that transmascs are incapable of being misogynistic to cis women bc that’s far from the case#but i need someone to name a transmasc with significant political or social or financial power that’s working to set back women’s rights#versus the amount of cis women with any of the aforementioned privileges working to take away the rights of trans people#bc i can think of 4 of the latter just off the top of my head without trying really hard#and the only day to day instance i can think of where trans men would hold significant power over a cis woman is like..#a workplace environment where he completely passes as cis and absolutely no one knows he’s trans at all or even suspects it#but then again most if not all of that privilege would be stripped away the second anyone there found out he was trans#but yeah i really do think some people need to grapple with how they conceptualize gendered privilege and their own power in these dynamics#and how that’s reflected in the way they think about/interact with transmascs#are you disgusted with this random transmasc on tumblr because he’s a man (or vaguely adjacent) or because he’s trans. ykwim#and again i hate the whole transandrophobia thing i think it’s stupid as shit and redundant to put it lightly and briefly but#idk why transmascs that believe in it have become the new face of anti-feminism and MRA movements#and not like. the cis men who started both of those things and contribute to the vast majority of that type of rhetoric in every way#and also hold enough power to leverage those beliefs over both women and also transmascs tbh#i think some people are just repulsed by the idea of anyone willingly wanting to be a man bc they see it as the same as becoming a cis man#in terms of privilege. when in reality by being trans you’re knocked down in terms of power and privilege from all cis people anyways#but also. some people also need to realize that transmascs can also have trauma and complicated feelings about being a man and patriarchy#and more often than not we ARE traumatized by the way cis men (and women!!) have treated us#and grapple with our place in the world as a result. it’s not just as simple as becoming a cis man over night tbh!!#and again i’m not talking about transfems with any of this because the vast Vast majority of transfems understand this more than anyone#i’m mostly talking about cis women both irl and also just in the terminally online leftist sphere#and i also think i should be allowed to vent my grievances with the power cis women often do wield over me without being accused of being a#raging misogynist or MRA or whatever
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Getting closer, getting really close now I swear (Patreon)
#Doodles#Just Desserts#Villainsona#True Villainy AU#Just ignore how many times I've said that up to this point lol - I'm serious this time!#I always feel so bad designing TVAU outfits because Charm is always so miserable as a model haha#Could this be a contributing factor as to why it's taken so long?? No I enjoy drawing her like that lol#Made some design notes about the important elements of what I want for her True Villain look - more than just ''Her but Kaiein influence''#I'd still really like a nod to dragon scales of some kind but honestly her classic design is more that#Always going on about her spider theming how to make it dragony! It's the one thing I'm still hung up on lol#As for the rest I think it's Really getting close :) I got to actually turn her little ''shawl'' - I always knew it was Kaiein-related -#Into something that properly mimics his shape! It's all controlled by her tho it's not a part of his body - just magic-infused matter#Made to look like him so there's still that creep factor but it's more her body than his - she can control its shape :D#And I got to keep the jewels! Yesss - made it a motif! Now it's also on her hips and knees to break up her visual space yes very good#It's drips :) Y'know - like ink :) Finally figured that one out lol good job setting up my own symbolism me#And then some elegant drapey bits to match her ''shawl'' and continue to break up her space!! Yes! Good!!#I still haven't decided on a colour palette I think black and white is too obvious and too Kaiein but hmmm - she has a lot of colours#Lots of options to pick from but which is the Correct one - her hair would stay pink so maybe some of her pinks or purples#I'll play with some digital swatches later :)#I'm also so glad I could implement the hood design from one of the scrapped outfits ah <3 I love her in a hood she's so cute#I'm rather pleased with the way the spider web design breaks up her form as well - it's more subdued than the full bottom/shoes stripes but#It's also not very clear here lol the long ones that all the way down to her feet are the third from the center ignore that second one#The second lines out from the center host her wings! Very important!#Kinda reminds me of my holosona in a way actually :0 They /are/ both Evil-aligned hmmmm#All the more reason to colour palette! Differentiate the colours in my head#Really do feel like I'm approaching it now fdjsklafd getting close now!!
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY, PRESIDENT OF TONARI CLUB!
I, uh, m-made something f-for you.
Know that I'm totally embarrassing my ass over here, so... Don't laugh loud enough that I can hear you from over here!
Aaaaaand now, per Lyndis tradition, I'm gonna overexplain shits and turn a simple Ask into a whole ass Ramble!
-----------------------------(why is there no "Read More" partition in an Ask? I'm so embarrassed right now goddamn it)-------------------------
If you're short-sighted, try removing your glasses or contact lenses and look at this picture. I just did and it's suddenly even prettier!
I actually planned to draw your Sonicsona at first. And then I realized I deadass couldn't even draw Base Sonic. Then I thought I should draw a mole. I realized I also couldn't draw a mole. I thought I should just go for the easiest shit and draw ToFu. I realized I could not draw either one of them, too.
Because I cannot draw, I cheat! I mean I turn things into shapes (chiefly triangles, though not all of them) and then color them and hope that something shows up. This is me using this scientific /+ philosophical concept called Emergence.
No, I didn't just say THAT to sound like I have a technique of any kind, trust. It's so totally a technique—my very productive ass told me.
I remember you saying your favorite color is something like pink, blue, and stuff? It was from that tag game from last year. Hence, I decided I should create a context so I could draw an obscene amount of pink and blue.
If I'm being honest, it took me less than a millisecond to come up with the exact context—Breath of the Wild/Tears of the Kingdom is abundantly blue.
And since I always wanted to sneak ToFu in, I thought I would make a purplish-pink dusk. And then I will sneak those stargazing two in.
Come on. Everyone knows those ToFu panels. Even someone like me, who had not seen that part of the manga yet, knows.
Bless Tonari for being so relaxing to color.
HOWEVER! Fushi's limited-ass color presented a big problem for my cheat-drawing. How many combinations of "white" can you even make before you zoom out and see... nothing?! So I basically sabotaged them. That's what you get for being difficult, you mopey, neck-crick-possessing, fragile-enough-to-be-blown-by-the-wind cutie doofus.
I made up the color of their pants. I didn't even refer to their Nameless Boy drip when I decided on the color. I assed that part.
Yes. I admit I put a shit ton of effort into coloring Zelda. This version of Zelda is my kin, you know. Anyway, I like the way her, uh, shirt turned out.
I also like how the Master Sword turned out, but there was so much blue I ended up requiring outlines to distinguish it from Link's shirt and the sky. Told ya I have no technique or skill. I cheat through and through
I was too lazy to draw those sky islands. Besides, the ToTK side is already saturated with details.
What the fuck issa "proportion?" Everyone's head is an orange. The difference, Nova, is whether it's a Mandarin Orange or an Orange.
I don't know if I overdid Dinraal's draconic mane. It looks like she's wearing a wig. At least she is different from how she initially looked—a red tapeworm outfitted with chicken legs.
I admit I put more effort than any Past Me would have into Dinraal because a certain mutual is very, ah, particular about dragons.
Drawing two of your favorite ships for their show of devotion was a completely deliberative choice on my end. Did you also realize that both Link and Fushi had a short, small, low ponytail and that both Zelda and Tonari had similar hair? I believe it's due to me hitting my drawing skill limitation.
There is actually an Easter Egg of some sort in this picture. It's not the ugly doodle thing, no. That thing is me. I'm not an Easter Egg; I'm a ghost.
I'm not telling you what that Easter Egg is. I'm fine with it never being discovered; it'd be like those secret levels in old video games.
But if you DID discover it, come tell me what you think it is!
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I hope you like it enough! Instead of it giving you a migraine, that is. Surely my """art"""... doesn't require a trigger warning... right?
Have a good one, mai bruzha!
---Lyn
A RAMBLE FROM YOU LYN IS THE BEST POSSIBLE BRITHDAY PRESENT I COULD HAVE EVER RECEIVED!!!! COUPLED WITH ART BY YOU????? AND OF MY FAVORITE FELLAS????? What did I deserve to be so blessed ;A; 💕💕💕
I’ll spare us all a little extra scrolling on my part by adding that read more you were fretting about, I have my own ramble upcoming!
I KNOW YOURE ON YOURSELF ABOUT NOT BEING ARTISTIC OR WHATEVER BUT THIS IS ART!!! AND DAMN GOOD ART TOO!!!!!!! This is!!!!!!!!!!! I want this made into stained glass I want to make this the permanent window to me bed roOM LYN THIS IS AMAZING THIS IS ALMOST CERTAINLY GOING DOWN AS ONE OF MY FAVORITE ART STYLES!!!! There’s no such thing as cheating in art, it’s all art!!! “Cheating” is a style, no technique is a style!!! I should know I have none either, hehe -w-‘ your art may be some type of cubism? Hehe idk I’m not an art student :3 Either way this is absolutely gorgeous I’m in LOVE!!!
It’s so creative and well done and I LOVE your eye for detail, the lighting is inspired!!!! Like the way the sun hits the space behind Zelda is so pretty, AND ZELDA IS SO PRETTY!!!!!! EVERYRHING IS SO PRETTY, I CANT FOCUS ON ONE THING BECAUSE I KEEP JUMPING BACK AND FORTH BETWEEN ALL THE THINGS I LOVE ABOUT IT (every thing, every last detail!!! Is that a little you in the middle? Is that the Easter egg???? I could just pick you up and pat your little head!!! 😭 I know you don’t love hugs but that’s how I’ll be standing if you’re ever ready for one!!!)
I should slow down maybe and pick a few things to focus on BUT I JUST CANT I LOVE IT ALL!!!! The two scenes just blend so well into one another that my eyes are just naturally being drawn back and forth between both of the scenery! Dinraal, who turned out AMAZIING BY THE WAY, ABSOLUTELY NOT OVERDONE, if anything I’m so glad you had fun working on her!!! She’s so gorgeous!!!! I bet your friend is so so proud of how well she looks!!! Oh but anyway, Dinraal naturally leads my eyes over to the sun/moon (and the 24, hehe, thank you!!! /)//(\ Your memory is astounding!!), which have their own beautiful rays of light leading down onto the adorable couples 😭 I love love LOVE the moonlight leading down onto Tonari and Fushi, and the fact that she’s pointing at it too like she can almost reach it? Beautiful! Gorgeous!!! And it just leads my eyes down to them too, there’s just such a natural circular flow here, no wonder I keep getting caught in a loop of admiration! 😁
The blues and the pinks, and the stars on the ToFu side!!! I just noticed them and they’re everything to me!!!! Hahaha I’m so glad Tonari was relaxing to color hehe, same for me, something about her is just so lovely and calming when she’s relaxed 🥰 As for Fushi’s colors, I didn’t notice! Even after you pointed it out it looks good to me! ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ this is from someone who never references colors though, I’m so loosey goosey about everything -w- BUT YOUR SOLUTION TO YOUR PROBLEM WAS GREAT, THEIR SHAPE IS VERY VISIBLE AND EASY TO MAKE OUT hehe :3 I love their crossed little legs 🥰
Zelda being your kin is so good to know hehe, I’ve always been drawn to all versions of Link myself! I think we’ve been perfectly set up to “play dolls” with these characters in the future, so to speak! Aaaahh they can’t have been easy to draw, there’s a reason I almost never dabble in drawing those two and their intricate outfits, but you make it look effortless!!! Zelda’s shirt turned out amazing, and I’m stuck looking at her little triangle braids!!!! I don’t know why I’m so fixated on that it’s just adorable!!! 😭💕 What a lovely technique, man, I’m so enchanted! AND THE MASTER SWORD, I know you called it cheating BUT I LOVE THE LINE WORK, it makes the sword stand out, almost like you lined that specific part with some sort of melted gold??? Aaaaaaaaaahhhhhh!!!!!
This is gorgeous and beautiful in every which way and thank you!!!! For everything!!! For this beautiful drawing and for giving me a chance to ramble and giving me something gorgeous to look at for the rest of my day, and for indulging in both of my silly little ships /)//(\ I’m so glad I don’t need glasses because I love every inch of your art, thank you thank you THANK YOU!!!!! Gosh it’s so so so lovely 😭💕 you’re so lovely!!!!
I don’t know how to say goodbye so I guess I’ll just say good night for now! Thank you for thinking of me… I’ll have a wonderful day, so long as you promise me you’ll have a wonderful night along side me 🥰
Goodnight, Mai Bruzha!
- Nova
#Lyn the Zelda Kin (I’ll come up with a better tag some day I PROMISE 💕 haha!!!)#Friend Rambles 💕💕💕#long post#IM SO STOKED YOU HAVE NO IDEA AAAHHHHHHHHHH KICKING MY FEET#I’m typing the tags before I actually type the main body heehee I’m gonna jump over the moon!!!!!#and thank you for the letter too I’ve been rereading it! I’ve been getting back into writing letters of my own and wow!!!#the quality of yours are amazing!! I may have to take a note or two on how to craft a good one that one was amazing!! and thank you :’)#ok editing: this nova back after her ramble in the body text#I’m sorry for how disjointed this all looks! I kind of tackled my response based on where I was looking at at any given time#and I wanted to get my reply back before you hit the sheets for the night!!! still it took me some time but I hope I made it!!!#ahhh Lyn I hope you rest well! I’m going to have an amazing birthday and you’re a contributing factor in that my friend.. Mai Bruzha!!!#I know for a fact I’m forgetting details too like just the fact that I love the idea of Tonari and Fushi chilling at night#chatting and looking at the stars and enjoying each other’s company. my favorite scenes of them are always them shrouded in darkness and#covered in some sort of fireside lighting I just!!!!!! they’re so good in the dark thank you for drawing them at night#they are a moon couple to me… and ZeLink is a sun couple to me like idk how you got all these details DOWN about me! maybe we see the world#similarly :3 good to know I have someone in the world who sees them the way I do 😁#aahhhh I’ll let you get off to sleep now dear friend!!! and thank you again! thank you thank you thank you!!!!#this is truly shaping up to be the best birthday ever!
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I would not wish BPD on my worst enemy.
#Bpd is 'my parents shamed me out of being able to deal with my emotions in a healthy way and they made that#Everyone else's problem' disorder#I have such a strong sense of shame for everything about myself ever and no matter how much I manage my symptoms#It just never goes away#I'm literally a social worker in a supervisor position making 60k a year in a healthy marriage#With my own apartment and financially independent#Not even touching my contributions to fandom or writing#And all I can think about is how much I loathe myself. I hate feeling like a fraud and feeling like#Someone is going to find out I'm much more of a mess on the inside than I let on#I manage well I'm successful sure but on the inside I'm still that same teenager who hates themselves and wants to. Well.#I'd continue that sentence but I don't want to alarm anyone. I'm safe and nothing is going to happen but#I wish I had an off switch for my brain sometimes#Anyway that's my little vent for the moment
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Hi, I wrote my first evak fic in early 2023, before that I had been an avid reader for years. I know the fandom is a little quiet but there's this hardcore group of writers and readers that seem to have been around since the start and all know (of) each other. I don't know how to word this without sounding envious but it seems to me that group doesn't really read, comment on, give kudos or support new fics outside of their little circle. I want to believe it's a time issue but I have to say it comes across cliquey and a little hurtful. I really hope I am just being an insecure baby but I would be so happy if the established and popular writers would give me feedback and leave comments.
hiya! congratulations on writing and posting! i know it can be a big, scary jump from reading to writing and sharing, so applause for that in the first place.
i'm sorry your contributions to the fandom haven't been received the way you'd like them to be. if i'm included in this group of writers and readers, then, well my reasons for not reading/commenting/supporting are possibly going to be more hurtful than what you're already experiencing! i've whined about it years ago (first here, then here), and unfortunately it all still stands, because i have done absolutely zero work on bettering myself as a human being. i think i've read a handful of fics, mostly because they've been sent to me directly, with someone asking for my thoughts, and i managed to put in the effort to read it and offer a polite response. but there are also a bunch of fics that have been shared with me that i haven't read, even when i've said i would. i'm sorry if you have specifically done this with me in the past, because i have not treated your work, your creativity, with the respect it deserves.
i can't speak for anyone else, on how they choose to spend their time reading or writing, or the relationships they have with other fans. on the one active skam discord i'm in, i think a lot of them know each other from other fandoms, or have different relationships beyond writing/reading skam fic. also, as skam fades, people might only have the bandwidth for enjoying and supporting fanworks from established relationships, the same way you still want to support a favorite author even when you or they have changed genres or whatever.
but in reality i don't know the group where this is happening or why. i agree, it would be nice to receive more readers and commenters in general, and being jealous of the attention other people receive is natural. but i don't know how to change your relationship with that group, or my relationship with reading & supporting.
#y'all should see the tailspin i am in right now#i do not like examining my own habits because they are so disappointing!#but there's the explanation for why i don't read#IF I AM EVEN INCLUDED IN THIS GROUP???#or am i just supposed to commiserate as an outsider? IDK#of course i automatically assume i am at fault#i do know that the fact that i don't read fic has pissed people off before#unfortunately pissing people off is not enough to change my behavior#as anyone willing to scroll through my asks on this website could tell you#but also you would not want my comments if i felt obligated to give them#and i think the people i've beta'd for would agree#i do not go into it as a fan#or as an appreciation#i go into it very defensively#which is a shitty relationship to have with art#anyway i am sorry that this is your experience and that i may be contributing to it#i do not have a solution for you#nor do i want to like.....guilt people into reading fic#and the way i cope with this#the way i coped with it back in the day when the fandom had more popular writers and reading groups#was by hiding#and lowering my expectations#i gave nothing to the fandom and i expected nothing from it#kerryrants#aka how i tag the posts when i'm being an asshole
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I'm actually very curious about this now.
probably not a lot of people on here know this but I'm like low key a scientology watcher. generally i'm very on and off with how closely I keep up with them, but I'm for sure the most knowledgable person about scientology that I know personally. which I say to illustrate that I know how badly scientology is doing currently from like a retention and recruiting standpoint
and I also know that the only somewhat notable scientology org in my area is in Baton Rouge, but even that I sort of assumed wasn't really doing great since I've caught them having to obscure the fact that they're scientology in some of their more recent ads. and in general scientology outside of Clearwater or LA is crumbling
but I was in a Barnes and Noble in Baton Rouge yesterday (the one in Citiplace if anyone is curious) and there were at least six scientologists there with Dianetics tables and e meters and everything offering "free stress tests."
the main things I'm surprised about is 1) that Barnes and Noble let them do that and 2) that they could wrangle enough local scientologists to do that in the first place. I'm suddenly very curious about the exact number of scientologists in the BR area
#I have no idea if they were sea org or not#I'd kinda assume not but I suppose its possible since I'm surprised they were there at all#they did offer me a free stress test#because I was probably the only person in that place unconcerned with walking past them when they were very obviously blocking the walkway#and like I really wanted to do it#but like at the end of the day I don't want to contribute their numbers in any way#and I don't want to talk advantage of cultists for my own amusement knowing that I know more about their cult then they do#because like they're the actual vicitms of scientology at the end of the day#so I just politely told them no thank you
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#every time a character does the whole “talk softly and reassure the dangerous person” thing while also walking ominously towards them ughh#it drives me absolutely nuts. like. you're trying to talk them down from paranoia while you're threateningly walking towards them?#someone does that to me and I'm shooting them at least in the leg or stabbing with whatever makeshift spear I've manufactured#anyway. criminal minds is getting real annoying with the whole pathologizing of people.#like. guy shows signs of being very good at torturing people and they go “ah yes.. a pure sadist” or whatever the fuck#I get that it's shitty crime drama stuff but still. ugh.#I just. I fucking hate when people take the obviously wrong route when talking to mentally destabilized people.#like. people are shit at talking to suicidal people. are shit at talking down irrational fears. people are shit at talking down paranoia.#I hate how people don't fucking know how to interact with freaks I hate how people don't know how to interact with me#everyone acts on their own level without understanding what it's like in any way#and so everyone just projects their own reality onto you without performing any sort of empathy or exercising any sort of understanding#and I want to scream so fucking loud#you're all living in a cotton candy world and your words disintegrate in my humidity#and it's so fucking lonely#and my mind has been clear this past week. the autistic need for pressure satisfied by this prescription pushing on my brain#and I can feel the cogs turning. the wheels and pins and linked gear trains and drive shafts and traction band motors.#all the parts of my brain churning around and I can't get close because the heat from my motor makes my hood hot to the touch.#I burn your hand as you try and press your palm against my flanks.#only think saddle and tack make contact. strict guidelines and harsh rules to govern me.#when I am free I buck and I shift gait and I drag you under too-low branches#also. compared to Hannibal I can basically listen to criminal minds as a podcast. none of the visuals really contribute anything to the show#like. feels very shallow
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i want to blow up and die so bad like its so unfair that i have to hold my tongue and have a hold on my feelings while my mom gets to take jabs at me and say whatever she wants to me like if i say one thing that can be perceived as wrong she'll get so mad and it's so so annoyingggg ive been really stressed these past few days and her childish behavior has NOT been helping . god i know ive accepted that she wont but i really wish she would at least fucking help me move the things that need to be moved it's seriously so frustrating thinking about how it's currently midnight and shes just sitting in her room on her fucking phone while i have to move all this stuff like god it's so unfair im so mad why do i have to deal with this all on my own
#godddddd i hate it i hate it here#shes blaming the pest problem on me and theres no way of knowing if thats true or not#and even if it WAS that doesnt mean that i should have to do EVERYTHING on my own to get rid of it ???#like SHE lives here too this is her space TOO i dont fuckkng get why she wouldnt want to contribute to making her living space better ???#just bc the problem isnt /her/ fault ??? like wtf#even my aunt tried to find ways to help resolve the issue before i had to call someone and shes only living here temporarily. like my mom#will complain and get mad at mw about it while NOT doing anything to resolve it and it pisses me off soooooo baf#like we all share this fucking space why dont you try and care for it too wtf#ss#like why am i being punished for trying to find a solutionnnnnn#it would be so awesome if i died
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#I'm literally never going to own a home of my own#I'm going to live and die in the same house as my parents and I'm never going to have my own space to call my own#to make my own or to spread out and have my own space#People wonder why I don't feel like a fucking adult#and I can tell them plain as day that it's because I live at home with no job and all I do all day is draw read and look at fucking#fictional shit all day#sure I work on the property but so fucking what#I'm still just wasting away at home with no life no friends nothing to do#I dont want to volunteer anywhere because it's only hard labor shit and I cant physically do those things#and the only other volunteer shit around me is church stuff and I will NOT be helping any churches anywhere fucking ever for anyone#idk#I try to meet people and I have nothing to talk about#everyone else seems to be having their own lives with shit going on and multiple social circles and here I am unable to even string togethe#more than two sentences because it usually only takes that long to get to “so what do you do?” and I have to figure out a way to explain#that I'm living at home with no job no friends and no life in a way that doesn't look fucking pathetic as fuck#I'm not well educated so I just fall behind in most conversation#I can't contribute so whats the fucking point#The only people I have to talk to are my parents because what else am I gonna do? I can't keep complaining to you guys all the time#not like it's going to change anything#if anything it will just make people avoid me more for always being a fucking downer all the time#my parents vaguely get my frustration but they can't do anything#not like we have money or connections of any kind so there's no 'setting me up' with other people my age#honestly I just wish the fucking internet would go away#maybe then more people would get out of their houses and go outside and meet people#idk i'm just fucking done with everything#I'm so numb and so tired and so lonely and I don't know what it is I want because every time I meet someone knew it's like I can't get clos#I don't feel ready for a relationship but I also feel like I'm fucking wasting away alone by myself and I really crave closeness#but I'm also not a dating person#I'm not here to waste another 5 years to someone just fucking around#i want a life time relationship
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Alright gw2 peeps, here's one for all of you with a lot of alts:
All your characters of the same class (e.g. all your rangers) are stuck together in an escape room.
Which of your "class groups" is off the worst and who gets the job done with no problem?
#edit: yall did this way more detailed than my word salad so lemme redo this class by class as well:#eles: not awful. overall a relatively cooperative group despite very differing personalities.#wouldnt be the fastest in finding the solutions but definitely are getting out of there without casualties or other damages#necros: shit tier dynamics. hostile charr that wants to be left alone vs. volatile chak madman vs. way too gentle sylvari plant#communication would NOT go well but they would make it out (neljje contributes NOTHING to this)#mesmers: nightmare courtier who is out to be as destructive on purpose as possible vs. just some guy vs. tvekks (enough said)#tvekks will suffer but they'll probably make it out. maybe. im unsure.#rangers: actually competent. if we ignore the hostile inquest rat in the room we're left with a competent charr leader and a#very cooperative norn huntsman (and bobbie but he contributes absolutely nothing). they will get out just fine.#engineers: disaster. there might be dead. too many egos in one room and a poor norn who just wants to get out beween everyone fighting#she might jus solve this on her own while the other three are about to slice each other's throats#thieves: absolute hell tier. mordrem sylvari trying to eat everything he can possble dig his teeth into.#a mildly confused human who probably just tries her best while the asura in the room is suffering psychic damage caused by#the mordrem and the charr that will simply not shut up for one second#i do not see ANYONE managing to get a solution in these conditions even if individually they might just be able to.#revs: awkward atmosphere between happy upbeat asura kid and really grumpy charr but they're getting through it#warriors: also a weird clash of personalities but they'd pull their asscheeks together and get out of there#and finally the guardians: no destructive force in here. just two very mature people and a slightly chaotic but otherwise clever bard#absolute dream team coming up with solutions. peace and happiness.#budgie plays gw2
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