zan partizanne fictive⚡️she/her⚡️ignore any vents. i am simply a whole thunderstorm of a girl
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wasn't expecting today to start with us being so sick that we barely have energy to do much more than lay down but alright
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fffffffuck.......
sometimes i wonder why francisca and flamberge mainly preferred to stick with each other's company. other times i look at myself with gaping wounds after having just ONE thought that triggered me and understand why.
#self harm tw#again not any pictures just thoughts that i really did not wanna put without a readmore#last time it was the mind-melting euphoria kind this time i'm just stuck with the unbearable self loathing again.#couldn't even wait until everything else healed i am so fucking pathetic.#you know what at this point if they all forget about me then good. they all deserve better than this fucking mess.#just let me die. just let me die. JUST LET ME DIE. GOD IF YOU CAN STILL HEAR ME FROM HERE PLEASE JUST LET ME DIE.
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i pick the WORST times to be mental
#getting ready to do the dishes and suddenly the ''at least 10 fucking years and he couldn't remember a name that a child memorized in a few#days'' hits so hard i almost throw up#OKAY... OKAY CAN WE NOT DO THIS RIGHT NOW PLEASE...#I FUCKING GET IT I NEVER MEANT ANYTHINGGGGGGGGGG SHUT UP.
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every time someone says they don't believe in zan partizanne attempting suicide one more zan partizanne attempts suicide
#(thought i had upon waking up that was more coherent than usual believe it or not)#ok but seriously it is funny to me when people are SO vehemently against the idea like. man let the mentally ill people have this one#not to mention I Am Zan Partizanne And I Did That Shit. At Least Twice Actually
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#got too silly (small)#rolling on the floor#one of those stuffies that u can attach a paci to would fix me
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concept for totally real collab i'm doing with dearmylove. trust me it'll happen
#ok but seriously look how well the uniform translates into this genre of outfit. i'm winning#should make one for fran and flam too i mean it's basically the same thing with a slightly different pattern and different colors
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your yuri more jmportant................
amy. our beloved host. my favorite little landmine. you are going to get yourself killed on tumblr dot com
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AMY YOU DON'T HAVE TO ENDANGER YOURSELF TO REBLOG MY POST. GET BEHIND ME NOW
#ok what i mean by endangering may just be being active while they're trying to look like they don't exist in an attempt to hide from someone#but. I DON'T CARE. ARE YOU SURE YOU'RE GOOD TO START POSTING AGAIN ALREADY??? AMY PLEASE#THANK YOU FOR THE SUPPORT BUT I FEEL LIKE I HAVE TO STAB ANYTHING THAT MOVES NOW.
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when i post something in tags and get people interacting with me i wonder if they know who exactly they are interacting with. shoving all my mentalposting into a closet and forcibly holding it closed
#anyways hi new mutual cool aesthetic you have going on 👍#also your linktree is broken the link to it doesn't include the last 4 letters
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so hi guys! apologies for being really not normal recently! to make up for that here is a doodle of something i remembered that perhaps the yuri enjoyers of this site would like. she would do this sometimes to get me to relax... how to hack your stressed-out girlfriend 101
#kirby#kirby star allies#kirby planet robobot#zan partizanne#susie haltmann#susie kirby#what are our ship names again.#zansusie#suzan#followers rejoice for i am giving you something nice to look at instead of deranged ramblings#go my images
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WELL. GOOD MORNING. CAN WE ALL FORGET THAT I WENT EXACTLY AS UNHINGED AS I TOLD MYSELF I WOULDN'T YESTERDAY. THANKS.
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so sorry for having a mental moment on my blog where i have already had many a mental moment will happen again 💛
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im so cringe im so cringe don't look at me but i can't stop
hhhhaaaahahaahahahahahahahahahahhhhaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaa susu my sweet susuuuuuuuuu 💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛 my love my love i'll give you every drop of blood in this body and more if you were to ask 💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛 i hope my feelings can still reach you from here... i hope you still love me too... i'll be back for you soon my sweet love i promise 💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛 if killing off this body is what it takes then so be it i won't stop until the day we may see each other again........ no matter how improbable it is that you will i still pray that you'll keep me in your mind and in your heart no matter how long i am gone, i WILL be back one way or another i WILL i SWEAR ON IT. so please. never. forget. me. 💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛 i love you love you love youu.....................
#i would've been. juuuuuuuuust fine. if i didn't feel the need to blast myself with 50+ pictures of me and her.#i'm so. sooooo sososoosososososososo normal. i really am i promise#(i can't stop shaking and i'm smiling so much it hurts but i can't stop)#(my heart feels more like an earthquake)#suicide implied#at one point. the old ''kill this body to go back home'' you know it already
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susuuuuuuuu u uuuuuuuuuuuu💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛
#our aunt is home now so unfortunately i have to make the effort to not curl up on the floor giggling and rolling around#i am a little a lot out of my mind right now please bear with me#i'll be normal again in. i don't know. tomorrow maybe#i'm just. so. dizzy with affection its killing me and makes me feel alive at the same time 💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛
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HHHHAHAH. AHHHHHHH...........
#my lack of self control is truly. unbelievable.#even when i'm feeling something good for once. i'm too overloaded to hold myself back either way.#the emotions swirling around in my mind for what feels like forever at this point numb any pain i feel anyways 💛#it just feels warm. i look at it and i don't just see blood. i see the essence of love.#it isn't even the first time i've done this. well on this body it is but the need to self destruct for love's sake is nothing new.#if anything it is all i've ever known.#but no matter how many times. seeing blood that i've consciously dedicated to a loved one flow... it's always wonderful.#i'm messed up. who thinks like this? i don't know. i feel amazing so who cares.#i can't stop smiling... i love her. i feel fuzzy. i love her. I LOVE HER...#i might have to make a sideblog for all this... i don't think many people really want to hear this type of rambling but i can't stop myself#sorry. it's a little messed up. bear with me.#self harm tw#.........aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa 💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛........................
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UNLIKE yesterday i am not normal after 5 hours.
#in fact i think i keep getting insaner. and i keep nearly falling on the floor due to being so dizzy from too many images.#this is a NORMAL thing that happens to NORMAL people. trust me#aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh i#am so#AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. I DON'T KNOW#amy if i ask very nicely will you allow me to carve somebody's name into our body I MEAN WHAT. HUH. I'M NOT THAT CRAZY.#''only if i can do my gf's name too'' SEE THIS IS WHAT I MEAN BY I ENDED UP IN THE RIGHT PERSON'S BRAIN.#self harm mention#i keep forgetting tags for things but this may be a little TOO not normal to forget
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this is proof the world loves me and doesn't want me to kill myself but it may backfire and make me kill myself anyways out of uncontrollable joy anyways 💛
#it is a bit funny the little amount of time it took me from ''i don't remember anything about this yet should i kill myself''#to ''I REMEMBER NOW I'M GOING TO KILL MYSELF (GOOD)''#i do not think i will be normal ever 💛 apologies
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