#i wanted them to work so bad
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#i think it may be time to admit that the meds are Not Working and move on but i don't know what to do#i wanted them to work so bad#i had so much hope#i've talked to so many people for whom the difference was night and day#like suddenly they could keep up with school and get up and do things and keep their life together#and i never really thought that could happen to me but i WANTED it to like i wanted it SO BAD#and then when it didn't i hoped keeping with it would at least do something? but it's been three months and it's nothing#i can't keep up in school and i can't make myself do anything and i can't keep my life together. like at all. nothing is better.#i don't think i can go on like this. and the dr said i wouldn't have to but it isn't fucking working and i don't know what to do#my mum likes to say my brain just works differently and she's trying to be nice but she's wrong. my brain is broken. it does not work.#it sure seems like nothing is ever going to get better and it feels so helpless and hopeless and i'm really not coping#i'm geuinely scared i can't stick this out long enough to finish my degree but what else am i going to do?#vent post#delete later probably#i'll feel less miserable later. hopefully. just need to cry for a while.
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In the past, people in the Animal Crossing community would make fun of Tom Nook as a sleazy landlord. Since then, he's really rehabilitated his image as this 'heart of gold' businessman (he's the one who puts bells and furniture in trees for you to find! he adopted orphans! he donates to charity!), but New Horizons genuinely paints the most devious version of him.
He's successfully privatized settler colonialism: you pay HIM to move to a "deserted island" (which apparently the oceans in the AC world are just full of) and start a colony that he is directly invested in. At best he's running a weird vacation package scam (you arrive on the island with no money and in debt for "using his services"). At worst, he's using you to set up company towns. For god's sake, he literally has his own fake currency that he forces you to use to pay off your debt. But don't worry, he's repackaged it in a way that definitely doesn't sound like an MLM scam: the Nook Mileage Program!
You're no longer just his tenant or his temporary part-timer, you're his business lackey. The entire tutorial section of the game has you spending actual weeks running around completing tasks and doing hard labor to set up his colony. You're even tasked with preparing his properties and finding buyers for them. No, you aren't a tenant anymore. You work for the landlord. You are directly responsible for finding tenants for him. And he doesn't even fucking pay you. Not for setting up town hall and museum, or his nephew's shop –– which is the ONLY store on the entire island that sells necessities –– or bringing KK Slider to town, or helping populate his town. Not a single cent. No, actually, you have to pay HIM to BUY infrastructure like bridges and stairs and park benches. And all the while, he's telling you're the "resident representative"; you get to call the shots! That the reward is the community's progress. That what you're doing is in everyone's best interest (but most importantly, his).
Since NH's release, people have done a lot of legwork to say that Tom Nook isn't a capitalist while the game shows him at his very worst. He owns the only general store in town. You're forced to use a phone that he modified and branded as his own. Buy Nook-branded furniture and merchandise at the self-serve kiosk in the town hall, a governmental building! There's no conflict of interest here!
But hey, if you're tired of being the landlord/business mogul's goon, you can also find work as a deluxe resort home designer for a company that also pays you in their special company currency that can only be used to buy their products instead of a real salary! Because that's what the Animal Crossing franchise needs! More vacation homes!!!
#this is a really long winded way to say i really really really really hate new horizon's storyline and player role#i really hate that not only your house but the entire TOWN. the whole COMMUNITY you're a part of is owed to tom nook's business#i really hate the “vacation getaway package” angle because it shows just how commercialized the entire premise of nh is#and how lost the game is in its original core concept#animal crossing is about the experience of moving to a new town and becoming a part of that community#just to compare: all past ac games have a similar opening#you're on a bus or train or taxi to someplace new. a stranger strikes up a conversation and you get to know them before arriving#new horizons opens with you at customer service desk filling out an client application before a flight.#in prev games working for nook in the tutorial is meant to be demeaning. you want it to be over with so you can actually start living life#but in new horizons working for tom nook IS your life. and it's so rewarding! don't you feel rewarded?#you aren't a person. you aren't a new neighbor. you're tom nook's client. and then his unpaid employee. and the game insists it's fun to be#that's how void the game is#because it's bad enough that a rpg life sim got turned into a sandbox game where you have to build the town yourself#but the only reason why you're building it is because the landlord who you're in debt to TOLD you to build it.#everything is a rewards program! everything is a tour service! be sure to do your daily tasks to earn nook bucks to spend on nook merch!#that really sucks imo.#i mean. the entire game is based around the vacationing industry. of course it all feels fake and temporary. it's only a vacation.#long post#rant#not art#god the fact that your starter villagers can't even decide where to live you have to decide for them#i've never played a game that does the opposite of handholding#where instead it's the PLAYER who has to handhold the npcs through everything. and newsflash!! it's really exhausting and boring
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Look what we've become.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#jiang cheng#Initially I wanted to do a 'Mutiny' quote to follow the 'Luck runs out' quote.#But the musical earworms demanded a different blood to be drawn. And I think it works just as well.#Alright. It's time to confess something. I really struggled with this comic. I didn't want to draw it. Then I didn't want to upload it.#Because I knew I would be here in the tags writing and backspacing for hours trying to articulate my thoughts.#I'm going to talk about death and grief in the tags today so this is your WARNING to look away if you aren't in a headspace for it.#Sometimes in media there are scenes and characters which land on topics so specific to your wounds that it reopens them all over again.#Because here's the truth. When you've known someone like this for nearly your whole life...it doesn't matter how bad the fight is.#You always think 'We'll always have time. One day this dust will settle and we'll rebuild the bridge.'#And then the fucker dies!!! He dies and suddenly there will never ever be time to repair the rift.#Someone you loved died thinking you hated them. And part of you did just a bit. But love and hate aren't mutually exclusive.#He's fucking dead and you are left with so many broken and unfinished pieces between the two of you.#Jiang Cheng loses Wei Wuxian thinking that WWX thought they hated each other.#He's a younger brother who will one day be older than the person he lost.#Who has no one else in the world who understands those feelings of love and hate and grief.#I can't be normal about this character. I don't think he even heals me. Zero catharsis to be gained here.#I just look at his sour grape ass and think 'shit that's a little too close to home.' JC is my discomfort character.#I'm probably going to regret being this vulnerable in the tags in like. An hour. So. sorry if you see this once and never again.#EDIT: Yeah sorry this took 4 hours to muster the courage to post. Surprise update!#EDIT 2: You guys were being too nice to me on my sad comic to point out the spelling error. I have fixed it now B'*)
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Following an accident, Danny wakes up in Gotham City in a DC universe. Lacking any forms of ID or possessions beyond the clothes on his back, he’s forced to commit some crimes to survive. Minor crimes, but still.
And then he gets caught.
During the court proceedings, they come to the mistaken conclusion that he’s a Meta suffering from some psychiatric issues such as Cotard’s Syndrome (a real rare condition where a person holds the delusional belief that they’re dead/don’t exist/etc).
Thus, between his “need for mental treatment” and the concerns about housing someone with his unique physical traits, he is sentenced to spend time in Arkham Asylum. He’s under pretty low security aside from the anti-Meta stuff and has more freedoms than some other inmates, but it’s still not a great experience. Even at the best of times, Arkham is hardly a nice place.
Some of his fellow residents are decently chill all things considered, but lots very much aren’t.
#dp x dc#dpxdc#dc x dp#dcxdp#danny phantom x dc#danny phantom x dc crossover#danny fenton in gotham city#just gonna slightly sidestep any questions about how the containment systems work or why “genuinely a ghost” is so unbelievable#i wanted to put Danny in Arkham so for whatever reason It Just Works#maybe danny had a bit of anti-ghost tech with him that they reverse engineered#or maybe something already existing in DC works#and as for the “dead” part… maybe his halfa/Realms nature is too unique so they assume he must be wrong about being ghostly? idk#also i think this’d be a good opportunity for a dpxdc fic to explore non-woobified versions of the rogues#like. where they aren’t watered down to be completely chill and barely criminals#e.g. yeah Poison Ivy cares for the environment and has protected kids but she’s still a terrorist who’s killed and mind controlled people#Or Killer Croc who is very much a victim of abuse/hate for his appearance but has also still attacked people and engaged in cannibalism#They’re not complete monsters but they’re not wholly innocent either#The story idea takes place in a mental hospital for (mostly) criminals! Let them have done genuinely bad things even if they’re improving!
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figure skating set right now please. thanks
#project sekai#pjsk#prsk#emu otori#proseka#tsukasa tenma#nene kusanagi#rui kamishiro#wxs#wonderlands x showtime#GUYS I AM PUTTING OFF WORKING ON MY COSPLAY SOMETHING STUPID. im tireddddd i like sleeepingggff i want to play and drawwwww#after work I literally ate a giant bowl of mac n cheese and climbed into bed. lifestyle choices of a 9 year old#anyways i want figure skaitng set. bad. PJSK HAS A WEIRDLY LOW NUMBER OF ACTUALLY WINTERY SETS... like 3. kind of.#i have some thumbnail sketches but im kind of stumped on composition for them. my idea was a nene focus set#(IF HER NEXT FOCUS ISNT PHANTOM OF THE OPERA THEMED INWILL DIE. BADLY. THEYRE GOING TO AN OPER AHOUSE. PLEADBR)#originally my idea was for nene to be biting a medal i was very sold on it bc i love nenes competitive side#however her outfit is so nice i want it to also be part of the art .. its heavily inspired by that one iconic eunsoo lim dress#from her somewhere in time program iirc. im really undatisfied with emus dress tbh my origimal idea was to give it a phoenix look#but a lot of the firebird/phoenix skating programs have very sleek dresses and i want emus to be fluffy. the balance is hard ..#and since i want her program song to be once upon a dream from sleeping beauty i swerved to make it look a bit like auroras ? but again#it definitely feels like the weakest of everybodys ... maybe i just love her too much and want her to look the best. sorry wxs.#tsukasas outfit is supposed to look like a shooting star. easy. program music moonlight sonata 3rd movement like from dazzling light. easy.#actually i like takahashi daisukes moonlight sonata program its a medley of the 1st and 3rd movement.. i think the calm at the beginning#is best. maybe smth like that.. for his card inhad him doing a haircutter spin but again. the outfits good i want the outfit visible. damn.#ruis the one im very set on even now. girl why are you so phantom of the opera.#it has a lot of beautiful programs to reference but the outfit i didnt really have any solid reference i kind of just balled#my main idea was to make it look a bit like both christine and the phantom.... gender Fluid.#my yapfest... i should be SEWING!!!!!!!!#despite my yapping im not that well versed in figure skating i cant really distinguish jumps i just like it . and medalist#i only do normal skating. bc i played hockey for like 7 years LOLLLL inlove skating though Heart.
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labels are optional btw. i've seen some people complain about microlabels and how they are confusing, unnecessary, but the thing is. those labels are OPTIONAL. the people who use microlabels are using them because they feel that's what works best for them. you don't have to use any label you don't want, even if it's description technically matches you. that's why things like ace and aro are spectrums. you could use a microlabel, or if you feel it works better to just call yourself ace/aro, or simply aspec, there's options. and you don't even have to use any of them if you don't want. you can go unlabeled. it's all up to you what you want to use for yourself. nobody is forcing you to use a label you don't want. that's literally the opposite of what we want htgfsdsf
my point is, if microlabels don't work for you, then just don't use them. don't start trying to invalidate others who do use them. microlabels exist so you have more options.
#lgbtq#queer#aspec#aro#ace#aroace#just putting that thought out there#i love microlabels so much but i can 100% understand why someone wouldn't want to use them as well#but just becuase they dont work for you doesnt NOT mean they are bad at all#i hope this was worded right lol#nothing specific really caused me to post this i just like thinking about this stuff haha
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"Hmm...Thats a weird dog."
Little fantasy illustration for myself before I go back into way too many projects.XD
(Maybe this guy will reappear...He might be a friend of a certain blue bird Monarch...👀👀👀)
#my art#illustration#procreate#fantasy#fairytale#monsters#creatures#I want to play them so bad in dnd!#we are a few month away from starting our new campaign so hopefully i can work it out with my dm
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Sometimes a day makes you want a Starscream to bite and squeeze
#guess who got their final scores back ahaaa#class avg was 60 percent 😭#also I have blocked the transformers tag on TikTok that place is a hellhole#bit of a vent here but it’s so crazy#I was talking to a person I didn’t even follow a while back and we were making jokes like yeah the autobots ship megastar#on my fyp a couple days later and I see them reposting “shipping megastar is bad and gross’ like bruh what#I saw one of my followers commenting ‘yeah can’t believe it’s so popular’ I HAVE POSTED MEGASTAR BEFORE WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE#I POSTED MY STARSCREAM AND MEGATRON FIGURES RAILING EACH OTHER#I only started posting cause I was like eh if it’s getting banned might as well#these people were poisoning my fyp smh#I’m convinced it’s just a moral superiority thing like all of those people who thought abo was so cringe and then someone was like#‘I secretly like abo’ and everyone agreed that they also like abo and it’s not that weird anymore#Ngl though. it is kinda sad but also kinda funny#sorry for the rant cause I talked about it before and I don’t want to keep on talking about it but those two baffled me#transformers#transformers fanart#megastar#megatron#starscream#transformers g1#megascream#maccadam#its like watching one of those religious couples where one of them is gay and theyre like 'I am working through my gay to be straight'
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Do yourself a favor and go read the entire fanfic work of @fanfoolishness
(In order: Under sun and shade, Blind Side, and Breathless (patching up is one of my fav too, I just had no cool sketch idea for it)
#star wars#star wars the bad batch#the bad batch fanart#tbb fanart#tbb fanfiction#dumping my “fanfic_doodles.clip” file here literally#sorry the style is messy#now I see them all Im like “ok it's all over the place zero/100 aesthetically pleasuring post”#hhhh its the thought that counts?#And tbh the point is just to convince you to read theses#because I'm like OBSSEEESSED with theses since you appeared in my notes#Every fic is gold#Me baiting my followers with pretty enough pictures to read fanfics#this being said I should really take the time to color properly my stuff#but I don't liiiiiiiiike it#there is tons of more talented artists if people want colored beautiful amazing art#me I can't really make my “”“spontaneous”“” “”“doodles”“” pretty without trying hard and at the end it's meh#They're so flat too#yesterday I was like “oh my scenes are becoming less flat I improved maybe”#Then I scrolled on my storyboard insta and was like#yeah sure no#I'm still faaaaaar away from the industry standards#I studied like at three arts school and I'm still bad at drawing TAT#why is my brain not working v_v#look brain I'm showing you nice pictures learn from them#brain: no Im gonna overfixate on this left hand here and only this#anyway
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S1 jayvik for the soul <33
Just Jayce being a very good “partner”
#jayvik#arcane#jayvik fanart#jayce talis#viktor arcane#my art#arcane fanart#I ‘finished’ my last sketch#this is as much rendering you will get out of me for this one#I’m very happy I went back to it though#looks so much more like them#I love how soft viktor looks now#also I hope no one can tell I have no clueee how muscles/anatomy works#jace wants him sooo bad#their dynamic is my kryptonite
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the pool scene
#the locked tomb#tlt#griddlehark#gideon the ninth#harrow the ninth#tlt art#tlt fanart#comic#apologies for how wonky it looks in some parts#um i spent like five days working on this nonstop#well not nonstop i ate a shit ton of pomegranetes or however its spelled during it#but uhm yeah#im not good at drawing backgrounds or anatomy (YET) so hhuhshsu#anyways yah yeepers when will i get to have a homoerotic moment with my former rival/enemy where i get to show them forgiveness and care#gideon wants to kiss harrow on the lips so bad its so fucking funny#harrow is a whole pathetic looking sopping wet kitten and gideon is like ooh yah thats the stuff#anwyas yah#ill post the version without their skull makeup because i like that one more#the skull makeup looks ugly sometimes (BY MY OWN DESIGN!!!! HARROW QUEEN I WILL NEVER DISS YOUR FASHION <4)#ALSO SORRY ABOUT THE PACING BUT DID YOU KNOW THAT DRAWING TWELVE PAGES OF A COMIC CAN MAKE YOU REALLY MESSED UP IN THE HEAD#hatman is in the corner of ym room rn
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fun fact, when mlp first came out in 2010, I had an entire comic I'd been drawing by hand with markers about my pony ocs which were guards in the royal castle. I still have the original 62 pages. fucking insane. anyway here's redraws of two of them lmao
Garden ("En") the "painted pegasus", who's mother was a zebra and who's pa was a pegasus. he was protag of the comic and YES I shipped him with princess luna WOOO LETS GOOOO
this guy was actually a background character more than anything. he was used here and there but he wasn't one of the central characters at all, he was friends with two other captains who WERE central characters. but I popped off with him so-
BEHOLD!! OLD ASS ART... FROM MY BEGINNER DAYS....
#mlp fim#my art#pony ocs#in case you wanted to see how far we've come WHOAOA YEAAA#anyway. u can do anything if u wish it. make comics even if theyre bad. make them even if theyre good#ngl i was rereading it and there were parts in my little comic that still make me laugh#so!! as long as you like your own work#you will always have at least ONE avid reader
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as promised, the spy x fam parody AU
I had some fun thinking about this like 2 years ago and only made a couple of sketches at the time.. but then I started cleaning them up last month and before I knew it, it spiraled out of control to become this monstrosity. I can't help it, as you can all tell by now, I love coming up with scenarios to get all my little guys interacting with each other
some details i didn't put in:
the Kudou parents are absent like in the show
whatever is happening on Haibara's end is probably super messed up but I haven't thought of any of the details
Akai gets fancy tech stuff, like the voice changer, from Agasa. Agasa comes to help babysit Conan sometimes and he gives him all his little gadgets. Akai hasn't said anything about it but figures he could use it considering the amount of crime he comes across
the facility shinichi was in is like in the original story, it exists to research esp to create super soldiers which is why he knows everything he knows
Conan regularly eavesdrops on Akai and Rei's top secret phone calls which is how he learns their real names. He can't help it, he has really good hearing
Conan and Subaru have different last names because Conan thinks "Okiya" is lame and wants to keep the one he made up on the spot. Their story is that when Subaru and Conan's mother (Edogawa Fumiyo) married, they both kept their own last names and Conan was given Edogawa when he was born. They've kept it this way to "remember Conan's dead mother"
#detective conan#edogawa conan#akai shuichi#furuya rei#okiya subaru#dcmk#my art#i guess this technically could be akam but i envision their daily life to be more bad mind games which conan happily ruins#you know how in that movie with curacao in and akai+rei starts throwing hands and conan makes them stop pissing about to do their job?#that's how i think their household would work#spyxfam au where being gay is ok but being single however...#anyway this is all i plan to do with this au#scratchienails over on ao3 started a fic similar to this if you want more#there's only 1chapter so far but i really like their other dcmk fics so i recommend reading them!#sorry there's so much text but you probably expect that from me by now
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Instead of writing a fanfic like a normal person this oneshot turned into two separate, contextless things,
#sorry it’s how my brain works (sometimes can only see things in terms of tv scene-)#tumblr exclusive video fancy…#dcmk#my art#(quietly coughing and spluttering) OK alright I can feel the creative brain explosion slowing down. geez#coughs.#nyways. weird that there hasn’t really been a main case where poison is involved in a certain way#If I watch my own scribbled boards for too long im gonna get too embarrassed to post. Send post#Subarus hair is still infuriating by the way like take that off your normal hair is easier. The beanie is easier#you like Have to have the side corners on this haircut or it doesn’t look right#anyways. shiho ptsd moments I think she kind of gets irritated that shinichi doesn’t react the same so when he does she gets like#weirded out and vindicated and a little protective. Like woah wait. Love that you understand me rn don’t like that you feel bad I am going…#to…………. ssssssssssit here about it…………………………….. uhhhh. do you want. a rubix cube to get your mind off it#I don’t want to talk about my feelings I just want you to get it. you don’t wanna talk about your feelings either which is……………. Hmmmmmm#I like her. love of my life miyano shiho#masumi sera#conan edogawa#ai haibara#akai shuichi#let conan swear. HE SWEARS A LOT BUT LET HIM SWEAR IN ENGLISH I KNOW HE KNOWS THEM#man needs his emotional support akai family they like him#rigorous trials to being approved by the akai matriarch but everyone else likes him already and have already picked him up multiple times#and shuichi would let him swear
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"Papa!"
just my daily missing dad Loid time feat. his kids 🥹
(the baby's name is James!)
#spy x family#loid forger#anya forger#james forger#oc#forger fam#listen i miss them so bad#i have new ideas but every time i want to start drawing i just hop on one of my many wips to work on them as a warm up#and then i end up just finishing it lmao#deffo not me working on at least 3 wips at the same time#after finishing this piece i stayed up till 2am thinking up headcanons#had so much fun doing it but at what cost (i slept 4hrs)
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Tim: lol you wanna wife me so bad it makes you look stupid
Kon: I do!
Kon: and it does!
Kon: C O N S T A N T L Y
#timkon#tim drake#kon el#conner kent#technically this is from a timkon sci-fi au I've been pear wiggling in my brain#but I realized it also just works for them in general#is the constantly for wanting to wife tim or for wanting it so bad it makes kon look stupid#and the answer is#yes
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