#i wanted something a bit less literal
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kaidatheghostdragon · 6 months ago
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Wings au, but:
Wings only manifest if you're liminal (they are thought to always exist, but only reveal themselves after an NDE/equivalent liminality trigger)
Wings are only visible to other liminals
Arent really functional so much as a representation of the soul, and not corporeal, just visual. Arent really set in stone either, they can evolve as the character develops, and might start out with strong influence of the triggering event that revealed them.
Can be a wide variety of things that could only be described as wings in the broadest sense
Not really any such thing as secret identities among liminals because of them
Liminality is extremely broad, so it covers most of the league and a small percentage (like 1-2% at most) of the civilian population
Different individuals:
Danny: a shadow void that shows a perfect view of space in the direction you're looking into it (but initially started as nondescript mass of light that matched his transformation rings)
Dani: an aurora, constantly moving and shifting, started out very ecto-green, shifted to more natural aurora colors over time
Batman: a cloak of shadow that occasionally takes the shape of bat wings
Jason: flaming phoenix wings, obviously (shape matches an eagle or condor, have remained pretty consistent, though they started more smoldery and are currently more flamy, flame is green when under effects of pit rage)
Poison ivy: "fairy" wings, actually look like giant leaves/flower petals, always appropriately seasonal
Superman: they look like solar coronal loops of plasma
Valerie: match the vibes of her nanosuit, might even be floaty and detached
Jazz: perfect white angel wings, very floofy (people mistake her for soft, then learn why angels are traditionally feared)
Cass: perfect angel wings, but black and obviously swan shaped
Damian: metallic wings where the feathers are each a blade, have gone from jagged to more sleek after moving in with bruce
Duke: sunbeams that trail like a regal cloak
Selina: has a proper cat tail instead of "wings"
That's all the ideas i had so far. Feel free to add your own for other characters.
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ahalliance · 7 months ago
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antoine + étoiles insane moments, p.2. aka the ass saga. p1 here
transcript + context for some of the clips below
[Video Transcript:
[First clip plays.]
Rivenzi: You want to see Etoiles’ ass, of course…
Antoine: Yeah, I’m gonna stare at your ass, Etoiles…
Etoiles: Fuck, what dread, during Popcorn [a talkshow Etoiles had been invited on the previous week], when I went up to the map and you said that, and I thought ‘whoa—‘
Antoine: Sorry
[Second clip plays: the moment during Popcorn]
PA/Domingo: Antoine Daniel has posted a tweet for us: ‘I wanted to look at this map of Africa, but Etoiles’ ass in the shape of a standing bell is driving me crazy. Smiley face with eyes in the shape of hearts.’
[Third clip plays: a continuation of the first clip.]
Antoine: Sorry, bro…
Ponce: Oh but that tweet, besides
Rivenzi: A standing bell…
Antoine: What’s more is that I never tweet and when I do it’s to tweet this sort of shit
Ponce: That’s exactly what I told myself. When PA read the tweet, I thought to myself, ‘but he never tweets!’ And he tweets to talk about Etoiles’ ass
Antoine: There needs to be a good reason, you see
[Fourth clip plays: a clip from the Team du Lundi’s minecraft server.]
JDG: Someone (in chat) said, ‘I can’t tell whether the atmosphere is good tonight or—‘
Antoine: It sucks, it sucks
Florence: You don’t need to ask every time, it always sucks
Baghera: Always sucks. Especially when Etoiles talks about ass [which had been a previous topic of discussion for him that night]
Antoine: Stooop, I enjoy it
Mynthos: You enjoy it?
JDG: It’s true tonight that it’s more weird than bad
Antoine: I like it when Etoiles talks about ass….
[Fifth clip plays: a second and different clip from Popcorn.]
Etoiles: —you’re not allowed to tell me that [Xari claimed to not know much about cinema]. I know you, I studied, because you’re my rival [in pop culture]. I really enjoy what you do in life, Xari, and you’re really knowledgeable about cinema
Antoine: What do you mean he’s your rival? And I’m just shit?
Etoiles: You, you’re my lover
Antoine: Oh yeah, sorry, my bad
PA/Domingo: One of the three is gonna die soon. There’s a whole situation, there’s a whole lore
[Sixth clip plays: a clip from the QSMP.]
Antoine: Don’t you want to get married, dude?
Etoiles: Well, I don’t have the time to fuck
Antoine: What the fuck?!
Etoiles: I don’t have time to fuck, dude. I just need to kill everyone
Antoine: No but just a marriage, you see. You’ve watched Game of Thrones— you haven’t watched Game of Thrones, you can’t know how marriages work in that series
Etoiles: I’ve watched it, but I’m married to the street, dude. I can’t give out my heart that quickly
Antoine: Yeah but you can give out your ass quickly, no?
Etoiles: No, frankly, my ass—
Antoine: What the fuck?!
Etoiles: Giving out your ass takes time, dude
Antoine: What the fuck…
Etoiles: Then again, I need to think about it. I’ll give you my answer. I need to discuss, and everything
Antoine: I’m tired of getting betrayed. You get married with someone else—
Etoiles: Never in a million years!
Antoine: —it’s like yesterday. Apparently Maximus got the mic from his ass removed while I wasn’t there. I was supposed to be the one to do it
Etoiles: Oh okay, so I’m your second choice?
[Overlapping]
Antoine: No! It was just to help him—
Etoiles: No, but, okay
Antoine: He got— listen—
Etoiles: There’s no problem!
Antoine: Fuck, nevermind
Etoiles: There’s no issue! Oh, so you’re opening my chest and stealing?
Antoine: I was just looking! Out of curiosity
Etoiles: Yeah, that’s it
Antoine: I don’t even understand what’s in it
Etoiles: Yeah, out of curiosity. Dude, your opinion on my cave?
Antoine: Well frankly it’s big
end Video Transcript.]
#antoine daniel#etoiles#étoiles#jay clips#qsmp#<- this is an appropriate tag wait till the end . it makes up half the video too#4/08/2024#le fameux bol tibétain d’étoiles…. traduit pour les inters#and i call it a saga here because the clips here span from early 2021 to mid 2023#you know the first clips are old because antoine is still using twt at that point#not included here; a zlan 2024 clip where étoiles yells ‘fuck me in the ass’ (french) at antoine 👍#also not included ; a serveur du lundi clip where étoiles jokes about antoine having a leash at home#antoine denying this and étoiles saying ‘well i spent a weekend at your place’#????????? yeah sure why not#ALSO re the qsmp clip antoine brought up the marriage possibility after hearing about the upcoming spiderbit wedding <3#bro sounds so fucking needy in the clip it’s sending me . how can i make this into qantoine lore……. this WAS the period where things were#slowly changing within the french dynamic (aka . they were meeting and talking to new people) and qantoine was growing increasingly paranoi#about trusting people then……. him trying to hold onto someone he loves dearly because he’s not sure if he can keep up with him…..#anw some other translation type notes read if ur interested in that:#wasn’t quite sure on the best way to translate ‘l’angoisse’ here . i went with ‘dread’#literally it translates to ‘anxiety/anguish/dread/etc’ but it’s used in a very flippant way in slang#so anguish felt a bit strong here . when someone says ‘oh l’angoisse’ about something it’s usually to mean an uncomfortable or unusual#scenario . but the intensity of that very much varies#OH ALSO : if anyone wants the sources to each of these clips lmk#i may just add them here later when im less tired#insuline & nicotine
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silvers-starrway · 6 months ago
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I miss him every day!!!! Urg.... MDAU!Sonic post EP 8 thoughts are ruining my brain rn you have no idea.
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gophergal · 2 years ago
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Life on the farm
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kyouka-supremacy · 7 months ago
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(˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶)
#I've had the cutest interaction today#So like yesterday? There was this post I saw on my dash that was like “you want to know extra info about museums? Just befriend a–#guide! That way you can also unlock the Secret Backscene” and I was like. Lmao. Who could ever befriend a museum guide I've never–#even personally met anyone who works at museums?#... Well. Guess what happened today#I was following this guided museum tour with a friend and when the tour came to an end I was happily chatting with her when the guide.#Shyly chimed in and was like “is that an Atsushi keychain?” And I was like !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#And I was like‚‚ omg‚‚‚ Do you happen to know‚‚‚ This one series‚‚‚‚‚‚#And they unsheathed their phone like a fbi distinctive in American movies to show me their fyo/zai background amjdsgawsjda it was SO cute.#They were adorable. And I got so embarassed but trying to keep my cool while internally I was like‚‚‚#Omg the Cool Museum Guide™ is talking with me about my hyperfixation‚‚‚‚‚‚ What is happening#We talked a bit about the manga it was such a nice and sweet exchange. They said they like Dostoyevsky and I was like yeah he's so cool!!!#They said they're sorry about Bram it was REALLY cute (´;ω;`)#I didn't want to hamper them too much so I took my leave shortly after but I'd actually really like to pay visit again–#when the new chapter is out??#Hhhhhhh I don't want to look stalkery and like go look for them on their job. But also like‚ they looked genuinely happy and as excited as–#I was when we were chatting and I believe in the power of human connections through shared hyperfixations#The possibly funnier part is that then my friend went “Wait you're into b/ungo stray dogs??” and like alright. This is less surprising.#I already knew she likes manga.#What actually left me quite baffled was that... She really didn't know I was into b/sd. When it's literally what I think about 24/7#Something very similar happened just a week ago. My friend gifted me a manga volume of a series she really likes for my birthday#But when she was giving it to me she awkwardly went “oh‚ just‚ it features romance between two guys. I hope that's okay with you...”#And I internally had to pause and realize that no.#In fact most of the people I hang out with don't know I spend half my time curating a bl focused blog.#It's just funny in a way? I got so used to concealing my hyperfixations I didn't even realize I actually got quite good at passing–#for someone who is normal about stuff.#random rambles
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whetstonefires · 27 days ago
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#4 please !
Now see this could be tricky, because generally if I don't get some key elements written down very quickly the idea flows away again and the 'yet' disappears, even if I remember generally what it was about, but I have one this time! I am still just enough plagued by this vision that it's not out of the question I'll go for the capture, but so far nada.
Idea was basically a Jiang family character study by way of modern au. (So tw canonical abuse.) I started from the reflection, in a modern au very high chance the Jiangs are divorced, because being a divorcee wouldn't necessarily ruin Yu Ziyuan in the modern world, as long as she was allowed to control the narrative enough that she didn’t look at fault, so it might be on the table.
Especially because modern views on child abuse are such that while she'd hold back more than she already does in terms of physical chastisement, Jiang Fengmian would also be under less societal pressure to not interfere in her disciplinary system too much, and both these factors mean he’s more likely to put his foot down.
So, concept: Jiang Fengmian, when his son is eight and his daughter thirteen, forces the issue of taking in his best friends' abused orphan child whom he’s just managed to track down in a nightmarish group home, probably leveraging the fact that wherever their money comes from it's mostly his, something he usually doesn't do, but she has always known he could, and been fucked up about it (reasonable) and hated him a little (less so) and hates him so much more now (understandable but still fucked up).
They were obviously still both pressured into this marriage by their families, because I literally cannot imagine them choosing one another of their own free will, and if they did that would be an au in an even more dramatic way than being modern, and no longer work as a character or relationship study as far as I'm concerned. I mean or it’s a cql-based au, but that’s not the version of this toxic marriage I find compelling.
Situation subsequently deteriorates to the point that when the boys are around twelve some outside party observes and is repulsed or otherwise upset by Yu Ziyuan's treatment of Wei Wuxian specifically--she's emotionally abusive to everyone in the family, canonically, and it harms Jiang Cheng significantly more than Wei Wuxian, which I think is also pretty explicit on the page, but she's more openly antagonistic about going after wwx because he's basically a proxy for her husband, whom she doesn't consider to be someone she's capable of harming.
And ofc in a modern family scenario, being abusive to your foster kid is more plainly personal misconduct than being unfair in how you discipline one of your husband's many students, even if it is his favorite. Which means she's very unlikely to chase him around with a whip, but whatever she does do will sting that much more emotionally.
Anyway the outside judgement provokes a more explicit confrontation than the last four years of maneuver and attempting to balance all the competing needs according to two very different standards. And the upshot is that by the time wwx is 13, the Jiangs are divorced. To avoid making a humiliating spectacle of themselves they present a weirdly united front in court and have a very smooth uncontested proceding, although the closed meetings with their respective lawyers involved a lot of vitriol.
Yu Ziyuan, despite having a smallish trust fund and probably a job of some kind, though one that's more prestigious than profitable like uh. Olympic fencing coach. Idk what they make but it's probably not enormous. She and Cangse Sanren probably competed in the same events back in the day.
Anyway she gets a solid chunk of alimony, the house, and primary custody of both her children, although Jiang Yanli is almost 18 at this point so mostly she just gets Jiang Cheng. Everyone thinks Jiang Cheng wants it that way, including sort of Jiang Cheng; he has this idea that if he has his mom to himself they'll finally have a good relationship, even though he's also terrified of being left all alone with her. He's complicated. Families are complicated.
Also she would never have forgiven him if he hadn't concurred that he wanted to stay with his mother because she was the only one On His Side.
Jiang Yanli ofc does not move out right away when she comes of age, in part because her brother needs her, but she probably does go to college, so she's only around part-time.
Jiang Fengmian, meanwhile, keeps most of his financial assets and Wei Wuxian, and gets his kids on the weekends.
So that's all setup for how you have this situation where Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng are entering high school--probably the same school, together, but no longer sharing the commute except maybe Monday mornings--and Wei Wuxian's primary residence is Jiang Cheng's dad's apartment.
It’s really chill. They get a cleaning service in once a week and eat a lot of delivery food, but they do cook at least once a week. The canonical thing where they largely agree about what’s funny and what’s right-or-wrong, and so forth, on the one hand really pops when there’s mostly no external conflict disrupting it, but also probably gains more complexity now that it’s not a thread of positivity fighting for its life against a background of drama. They get to know each other better than they ever had a chance to in canon.
Some of that isn't all that positive, because now they have the space to discover the places where they do actually have the capacity for friction, but both of them are very good at dispersing tension (I do tend to suspect jfm's dad was abusive he sure acts like it), and on the whole it's a good thing.
Jiang Cheng is going to have such a mental health crisis, and Jiang Fengmian is going to handle it so badly. Because of course when his son starts replicating his ex-wife's toxic attitudes and behaviors more now that she has primary custody, he’s going to feel guilty and like it’s His Fault, but he’s going to feel like it’s his fault that Jiang Cheng is growing up to be a shitty abusive person.
And even if he’d never say that the subtext would come through, in the assumptions he made when framing communications and so forth, as in canon, so the thing where Jiang Cheng’s father loves Wei Wuxian more than him, or at any rate likes him better and thinks he’s a better person and prefers his company, would wind up feeding into a self-reinforcing loop.
(Jin Zixuan's nasty public remark about Jiang Fengmian treating Wei Wuxian better than his own children hits Jiang Cheng significantly harder in this scenario, where he's being Tormented by the feeling that all his peers know his dad walked out on him for another son. Wei Wuxian's punch is therefore even more clearly primarily for Jiang Cheng's sake, although Jiang Cheng is probably more inclined to see it as being for his dad's. Jin Zixuan is about halfway between the Jiang kids' ages here, so he's a senior saying this shit to a sophomore.)
So that cycle builds to the point where Jiang Cheng would eventually have one of those rare moments where he resorts to actual violence, because his poisoned feelings are choking him so bad his rationality deserts him.
He’s not going to be nearly as close to actually murdering Wei Wuxian as he was in canon the night the Jiang Sect was massacred, because it’s a less extreme situation, but he still goes for the neck. So Jiang Fengmian is in his home office one Saturday about a year and a half into this new normal, and realizes the boys are fighting. He hears through the wall the accusation you stole my dad. He says to himself, well that’s terrible but interjecting myself into this situation would definitely make it worse.
Then he hears sounds of violence, and then an ominous abrupt silence, and updates that analysis.
And when he opens the door to the boys’ room, Wei Wuxian is being strangled. He’s not really resisting, which is because he’s made the call that that’s way more likely to get Jiang Cheng to snap out of it, and thinks it might make Jiang Cheng feel better to get it out of his system (because he does sort of feel like what Jiang Cheng is going through is all his fault, or at any rate is much worse as a result of decisions made for his sake) and is severely underestimating the dangers of choking, but looks to a third party like he’s already passed out and Jiang Cheng is still at it. Which is to say, it looks like a serious murder attempt on the brink of success.
So that sure made that situation worse!
So yeah that's my idea that I probably won't write but it sure has its teeth in me.
#answers#snarglepop-content#ask#ask game#mdzs#meta#modern au#family drama#character study#i'm really sorry to the person who sent me that madam yu ask i worked on it for SO long but i CANNOT find it in my drafts#i'm hoping i posted it and forgot????#anyway this fic is drawn from conclusions i reached trying to articulate for that ask my thoughts on modern yu ziyuan#and how hard she is to work#because yzy's characterization is pretty exquisitely responsive to her context#in such a way that if you change the context she will either behave differently or become ooc#so she's a major failure point in modern aus because she tends to have her characterization adjusted to fit the needs of the story#its desired beats or themes or whump quota#and if you do this carelessly then either wwx and jc also become ooc#or the story ceases to have consistent internal logic#mdzs is a pretty well-balanced machine!#despite how many elements come across sort of slapdash because mxtx literally did not care about that part#i.e. scale or logistics or history-as-such rather than just some of its societal features#but she didn't care *intentionally* so it's generally insulated from undermining the important beats which is such a good trick ak;kjlsdf#ANYWAY#i'm overly invested in how hard it is to depict this family as shown in the novel#because there's so little information and it's so tempting to disregard some of it to get a simpler narrative#so easy to take madam yu's word about things because she's the only one talking#so easy to punch up the melodrama in the wrong spots or iron out the actual ugly bits#to get something easier to grasp at but less realistic#concept up for adoption if anyone wants btw
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mabaris · 6 months ago
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no youre completely right - im a gay (trans)man and i legit wanna see so much more about the women bc There Is So Little. I wanna make a lesbian oc who gets bent in half by taash. im very normal.
i’m just tired man!!!! it feels so obvious how disproportionate it is when you’ve got. a cast of characters that we know almost equally little about. and a few of them explode in popularity and it’s like spongebob sticking his hand out the curtain. literally all a character needs to do numbers is to be a light-skinned man
#like you bring up taash!! we know equally little abt taash and emmrich. why is one FUCKING EVERYWHERE and i’m like. scrounging for scraps#sometimes i feel like there has to be a secret other main dragon age tag that has the real stuff in it#but maybe it’s just the tumblr userbase idfk#i feel like i’ve seen a little bit more of neve since the trailer but still not anything on the level as everyone’s fave boys#and before you hit me with ‘lucanis was in a couple short stories’ harding was in the literal entire last game. and she and neve had comics#there’s obviously something to be said about character types too. a lot of people love dark and broody#vs harding keeps getting described as Girl Next Door and that’s much less popular. fine i’m not going to argue abt individual tastes#but like. neve isn’t popping off??? on the columbo fansite????#everyone’s talking about emmrich’s experiments and research but no one talks about bellara’s??#like personally. ok. lesbian opinion so take that for what it’s worth. but i don’t understand all the lucanis thirst#davrin i could understand. davrin can get it. he gets way fewer thirstposts than the other men (hmmm interesting im sure it’s nothing 🙃)#i’m just like. tired. i don’t want to say people can’t enjoy what they’re excited about#but it adds up!#i feel guilty complaining when i am also not doing a lot of Female Character Poasting but like#there’s only so much i can do as someone who can’t draw and has been too busy to keep on top of all the breaking news
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pikkish · 5 months ago
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idk if this is a good prompt but put doomguy in myhouse.wad I think he would find it enriching
Right, so I've been mulling on this one for a little bit now, n I'm not opposed to writing something for you, I'm just not... entirely sure what to write? Because the thing is, myhouse.wad doesn't actually really have anything to do with Doom as a story. Sure, Doom is important in that it's the vessel through which the story is told and one of the connections between the narrator and his dead companion. But as far as Doom itself goes, and the story about a man who was too angry/stupid to die, fighting demons and saving earth, none of that is at all relevant to myhouse.wad and its story. For all intents and purposes, Doomguy isn't actually a character in myhouse.wad. So I'm not really sure how exactly to fit him in there.
#pikspeak#bc like. ok so if u say write dg as if he is actually the character in myhouse.wad#then the problem is that theres a pretty huge meta element to myhouse.wad and having some of the outside context- even just the context tha#its supposed to be the creator's dead friend's childhood home- is important. youre not MEANT to 'immerse' yourself in it or pretend you are#the protag. part of the impact comes from knowing youre just an observer and this is just a videogame on your computer.#writing dg as a character inside myhouse.wad would rob it of a lot of context and therefore impactfulness. hed just be walking around an#old house looking at things that have no meaning to him.#so ok then not dg as the protag of myhouse.wad but what about just like.. him in the funky liminal space of myhouse.wad? the non-euclidean#reality breaking shifting house of leaves place of myhouse.wad? i *could* do something like that if thats what youre looking for#but then considering this is the character whose reaction to finding himself in literal hell was to go 'hey??? this is stupid???? anyway im#gonna kill everything here' he probably wouldnt be too exceptionally ruffled by finding himself in a sorta funky reality breaking space.#hed probably still just go 'oh weird. funky. anyway back to killing demons.' and that would be it. which yeah i CAN write if its what u wan#it just. yknow. doesnt quite seem like the right tone? just kinda flat by comparison#i have considered doing things in the right tone before. since it is also canon that on his way back to hell dg has to run through the#burned out ruins of his own hometown. something similar to the visiting an old place thats been twisted by time and grief and coming to#terms with its loss or something to that effect#but. if im being honest i dont know that i have the writing skill to pull that off well much less as a short fic for a prompt response#uhhh anyway where was i going with this.#im happy to write something for you; possibly even something myhouse.wad related if you want!! im just not sure how to do that hdfbhdj...#anyway sorry for letting this one sit for so long without an answer. have another fic prompt where the fic is getting a little longer than#anticipated n combining that with rotating this to try n figure out what i could write for it...#guess time got away from me a little bit. sorry about that!
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beanghostprincess · 1 year ago
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Let's say chocolate is a metaphor for traditional relationships that happen to appear good but are too sickly sweet for Sanji to handle and after WCI he ends up not liking chocolate. At least for a while. He needs to move on from what happened first. But he wants to force himself to like it because he should like chocolate. It is one of the most basic ingredients when making sweets and it is also everywhere.
So what if it makes him want to throw up? What if his stomach betrays him when cooking? What if he needs to stop every two seconds to breathe because his lungs don't work properly when he smells chocolate? He will keep trying and trying to make it work. Everybody loves chocolate, after all, he should too.
But then, one day, Usopp sees everything he has around the kitchen. Like. That's an awful lot of sweets and a disgusting amount of chocolate and he doesn't seem like he has slept in a week. So of course he is concerned. "Why- What's all of this about, Sanji?" He tries to hide his nervousness with a laugh.
Sanji grips the counter tighter. So much his knuckles turn white. "I- I don't know. I guess I was just. In the mood for chocolate." But he doesn't sound sure at all. In fact, he looks like he's about to cry.
"Well." He looks around the room without wanting to touch anything but approaching Sanji a bit to check on him. "Luffy can have all of my portions because I kind of... Not like chocolate?"
"You don't- You don't like chocolate?"
"No? Too sweet. I actually pretty much hate it? The smell already makes me ill."
"Me too."
"You what?"
"I think I don't- I don't think I like chocolate anymore. Is that- I don't know if I ever did. Is that alright?"
"Why wouldn't it be alright, Sanji? It's just chocolate. Nobody can force you to eat it. Or cook it if you really don't want to."
And Sanji realizes that maybe... Maybe it is alright for him to not want chocolate, and a wave of relief takes over him for a solid second.
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oh-cramity-its-amity · 8 months ago
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i love my friends so much. i feel like yesterday i had a lot of shit going on in my head and i woke up to my friend explaining things in a way that put my mind at ease. i dont feel as anxious anymore because i know i was overthinking. i think my dad said it best when he told me that he thought my wonderful brain of mine just wants to think problems are bigger than they actually are. he is right! im just inexperienced in life and half of the time im scared im doing something wrong but- HEY. i need to be more confident in making mistakes. making mistakes doesn't define me as a person!! i need to stop worrying about doing life right and just live for the sake of living and doing what makes me happy!!!!!!!
#thank u blake. u really helped#also nessa!! thank u for that reblog about your perspective on my one post about feeling lost career wise#it helps me to know im not the only one living this life because holy fuck i can feel confused sometimes because.. am i doing this right?#and you know what? theres no correct path that i think there is but im just not good without a direct direction. it makes me a little#anxious about things#i dont know if its because i have some form of a disorder but i function better when i plan stuff out and give myself something to#decompress the problems and thoughts because in my brain theyre just all stuck and clumped together#and that can get a bit scary and overwhelming!!!#im just glad i have people that care about me. it means literally everything to me#so even if i dont 100% reply dont think i dont care because literally any ANY advice or kindness you show to me means the world#we're all just living this little life and we might as well make the best of it#people care..... thats just.... its good... it makes me feel less alone that people do#i love my friends so much#evennnn if we dont talk every day or are only mutuals in passing!!! it literally means a lot if people show me kindness#like holy shit!!! your older than me? and your dealing with a similar experience??? and your telling me that its okay??? and that itll be#okay?????#like#just the reassurance that things will be okay and work out and that im not the only one dealing with a feeling like mine#idk sometimes i just feel like im crazy and like my thoughts make no sense?? you know?? but yall get it#im glad that i have people who are older than me in my life cause yall have experienced stuff that i can use to be better#like your life experiences can help me in a way that can make a difference on my perspective on things#its why i like talking to my coworkers. because theyve seen things and done things i havent and their perspective can teach me potentially#i just dont feel so overwhelmed with life when i talk to people who understand#i feel so young and yet old enough to know but even the people who are older dont know so im sort of on the right track i suppose depending#on how you look at it#so- im just gonna live my life and smile because!!! you gotta.#you gotta surround yourself with people who can enrich you and teach you things for the better and make you want to grow#some of you are like that#you may not know that#but that kindness means so much
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bright-and-burning · 9 days ago
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girl who is sad :[
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unproduciblesmackdown · 29 days ago
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trying to say things about the bsol finale & how it has these little twists about what you don't necessarily expect for these roles but would you believe it i'm like i can't use my [just saying some shit] ability i'm pressed about wanting it to be more coherent & verbalizing doesn't even really happen if i don't have the [just saying some shit] wind in my sails But trying to say One Thing, how about the little twist like the miracle banana gets being that he himself lives, vs his emotional resolution that he would have died to help the musician, even as the musician is like no bestie you're good, even as the audience may expect & approve of even dying from funny little second banana guy who may even be supposedly taken as Superfluous now that thee man & thee woman have reunited (but it was always queerer than that) like. more resolution to our themes that that very second banana is doing just fine vs that the hero is, more classic iconisiquisms
#good enough And Post#bsol#what a bummer if he Had died like. & that would not have been Surprising b/c like ''ah bummer but sure of course.#perhaps even proper & fitting'' like no [side characters are less of a person than main characters] here#nor certainly funny little guys < hardass main hero romantic lead guys who don't wanna cuddle their boy but Will die & kill w/o him#also fun that mitb is that like big part of [bmc most Known / bway produced iconis musical] but where its origins indeed are like yeah#Now it might be the first/sole thing someone knows about bmc but when this was a niche novel debuting experience; mitb existing#could be more so perhaps confusing / surprising like why are we having this moment w/this second banana character to hear all about how he#feels? b/c the second banana deserves that. & then thinking of like something that makes bmc unwieldy from a potential perspective being#like oh there's too much time spent on these side characters vs the protagonist. well any/every element / idiosyncrasy / Choice of a show#can be argued as like alas this is a roadblock to longer runs bigger productions w/e other measure of success; bitch....#let's get you some fruit (bananas (second)) (queerness (all over the place))#& i had a real literal fruit banana earlier i am metabolizing into queerness as i type....#general vibe has been a bit intense lately; not conducive to my Just Saying Some Shit. but not Not necessarily wanting to#though not that it even comes Peak Easily with the wind in my sails / less of an intention to be a bit more coherent than usual#saying any things taking plenty of time / effort / really ofc still self editing along the way even in incoherent just saying sm shit mode#no such thing as really Just xyzing at all; certainly not if to any degree it's some instruction / not what you already do all the time#anyway tl;dr it Would be more expected like ah rip banana :( but instead we get the miracle of banana does not die. thank fuck
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icewindandboringhorror · 2 months ago
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Recent-ish things ~
#photo diary#1 - love this image of Noodle.. such a weird angle that makes his head look entirely round like a puff ball or something#2 - a more recent (still from months ago) collection of my pressed flowers and 4 leaf clovers I found.#3. Being one of the only people in 2024 still going 'hee heee I've just bought a new wii game!' but.. I have. >:3#It's kind of like Wii Sports Resort but is like.. open world? so your character can actually walk around and stuff. REALLY makes me#wish I had the type of set up where I could record video from my wii and stuff like some gaming youtubers have. I think it'd be a really#fun game to play on video and to DOCUMENT it!!! I keep wishing I could screenshot my little guy walking around but I caaant..#I've literally just been taking out my phyiscal camera and photographing the screen which always looks bad.. augh..#4. Something in the froxen food aisle called 'Wellington Bites' a play on beef wellington. suprisingly good actually. but I guess anything#with like beef and mushrooms usually is. But it seems like.. oddly decent for frozen food stuff.#5 - boye looking Round again.. 6 - updated score in the wii fit minigame again. This time less than 4 seconds#for each round? which may be a record for me? 7 & 8 - fat bird in the snow. fatt bird in the SNOW!! Hoping that climate change and H5N1#don't eventually remove all trace of birds and winter weather from my life in the future... -_-#9 - ..ough... a few paltry writings.. Except for the one day of 4000 words. But for the most part I have been making soo litte progress#because of the holidays and drs appointments and such a rush of all these other mind distracting things.. Or if I'm not doing something the#I'm feeling tired from having PREVIOUSLY done something so I waste the whole day being sleepy and headachey... GRR...#the funny thing is that like many many years ago I wrote a note on my wall saying 'FOCUS! write 2hr a day or more or youre going to finish#your game in 2025!!!' - which back in 2018 when I wrote it was like unimaginably far into the future but now... ahem.. hem... I guess that#is quite literally the case LOL. To my credit I did parctically abandon it entirely since late 2019 and JUST now picked up really#trying to focus on it in mid 2024 but still... My '''ridiculous'' projection being actually likely the correct one..#10 - I just thoughtit would be silly to put a bunch of keychain things on the wii remote. imagine playing this way. getting constantly#jabbed in the hand by plastic bits. and the jingling clinking noise it would be always making lol#11 - sky.. huzzah for the sky as always. Clouds my beloved#Gr.. I just really want to wriiite. My new years hopes are to finish my game and to get stuff set up to start selling sculptures again.#AND then maybe do more game videos lol... I miss playing games. I dont think I've posted on that youtube for like 5 months#I've just had so much appointments and Things and Stuff and focusing so much on other projects. But that is the thing that really#feels relaxing and fun for me. so like.. 1. finish game 2. sell sculpture/make sculpture 3. play games 4. find more friends#and social connection and networking or whatever the hell people have to do to be successful 5. do more costume/outfits.#<( saying this all on a day where I did none of those things LOL... I got erm.. maybe 400 words done today.. >:'3c )#6 is MOVE away from the evil west coast (hot.. fires in summer. etc) but like. not happening unless I suddenly become a millionaire so. -_-
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tenrose · 1 month ago
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So in the end today might have started with a breakdown and me saying we should kill all men but I redirected my rage pretty well. Bow tomorrow I will have to say "ok one or two men can live and humanity has like two good aspects (food and books, and food again), sorry about yesterday"
#i can say with confidence that this place does not have microphone or i would have been fired by long now lmfao#anyway i wish i could say 'yes whatever' and move on#but today i was too close to the edge to say that#then we had the company new year lunch#where i made sure to remind everyone i am the foodie of the company lmao#literally nobody could tell i was having a breakdown five minutes before#food probably calmed me though#then came home#deleted Instagram#vacuumed#decided to make one phone call#for the boiler cause my phone anxiety is less important than if I don't do the annual cleaning and something happen#honestly my brain was so all over the place i didn't even have the time to panic and not call#my rational brain and my emotional brain were too far apart today#then saw the gynecologist and she didn't even ask me for a smear which i am grateful#cause she's a substitute for my regular one#and i was only opening to her after one year and a half and considering letting her touch this area#only to have a substitute and like i don't want an unknown person#even she was cool and hopefully found the right pill for me#read a bit while waiting#abd now that i have insta free time i might read some more#honestly i hope this energy stays#i need to transform my rage and hopelessness in energy to work on myself#and finally take a step in the thing i want to do#nobody annoyed me with it since years so i don't feel pressure anymore and now i want to do it#but the thing requires from me to fight approximately 100 different levels of anxiety starting with administrative one#and it's gonna be time and energy consuming for months maybe year cause i suck#but if i succeed now i will be 100% independent#and i will be able to fuck off in the Pyrenees whenever the slightest inconvenience happen instead of nervous breakdown#anyway for now im so drained im cold tired and have a massive headache so shower time
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dancedance-resolution · 2 years ago
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i started a supercorp portrait of a lady on fire au like three years ago. i'm never going to finish it, but the writing style is pretty cool, so i want to share it. so um enjoy the prologue and a bit of chapter one?
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Prologue. Bonnelles, France. 1786.
“First, my contours,” Kara said, her voice soft and level. She looked out upon the dozen or so young women, their eyes darting back and forth from their papers to Kara herself. “The outline,” she continued. The increasingly swift sound of scratching charcoal prompted Kara to further instruct, “Not too fast. Take time to look at me.” She paused. “See how my arms are placed.”
At that moment, Kara saw the painting.
She swallowed and took in a breath; she schooled her expression before letting out the air with a pathetically soft “My hands.” Her students’ gaze followed her verbal direction, now observing as Kara’s fingers curled with remembrance. Their own hands now began to sketch the slope of hers—the slope that had once coaxed breathy moans from a lover, the slope that had once created that very painting in all of its hollow longing.
Kara felt her heart rate accelerating, and her attempts at calming deep breaths only made her shoulders shake unsteadily. “Who brought that painting out?” Her eyes darted around, landing on each possible offender, as she tensed her core and adopted a stern countenance.
Every student dutifully turned to look at the work.
It was an especially young girl who finally lifted her hand. “I brought it. From the stock room. Should I have not?”
Kara’s “no” felt like a brick, its weight threatening to pry tears from her reddening eyes. So Kara took another swallow, a handful of blinks, a few more steadying breaths.
“Did you paint it?” the girl asked innocently. Nia, her name was? She stared at Kara, oblivious to the flood of sound overwhelming Kara’s mind and echoing in the cavern of her heart.
“Yes,” Kara uttered softly, the word barely audible as they fell from her lips. “A long time ago.”
Nia’s head snapped back to examine the painting once more. It stood on an old but sturdy easel, tattooed and scarred but still standing. The artwork itself was brooding, with a white sun bleeding into a dark vignette. Heavy clumps of clouds occupied the sky and caged some of the sun’s rays, so the fire burning behind the woman was bright enough in comparison to create a dragging shadow of her figure. The flames crawled up the back of her windswept dress, bringing sharp tension to an otherwise lulling, melancholy landscape.
“What’s the title?”
The sound of the sea began to swell in Kara’s head. Her lips trembled. Her body unwittingly swayed slightly. “Portrait of a Lady on Fire.”
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Chapter I. The island of Brittany, France, and the surrounding sea. 1779.
Kara squinted into the distance, her face scrunching up a bit as she desperately tried to shield her eyes from the harsh glare of the sun on the water. For all its gorgeous teals and sparkling peaks, it certainly did make her wish for one of those brimmed hats the rowers were all wearing. With every one of their paced paddles, the cork-like little canoe bobbed haphazardly. Kara rather felt as if she were in the wine glass of a thoroughly drunken Marie Antoinette.
At least she wasn’t prone to seasickness.
She still felt quite unsteady, though, being thrown about and forced to pathetically grab onto the boat’s low walls. She leaned forward, trying to regain her balance and ground herself despite the absence of ground.
The wooden pallet holding her canvas was, apparently, as unstable as she was, and the next thing Kara knew, it had been lurched off of the boat like vomit from a drunkard. Kara watched helplessly as it thrashed among the choppy waves, the sea carrying it a few feet from the boat.
The chief rower met her desperate look with exhausted resignation; he ceased his paddling as Kara shed her overcoat and placed a precarious foot on the edge of the canoe.
With a strained creak from the boat’s wood, she jumped into the water, dress billowing behind her. Her first gasp for air upon emerging from the water was audible; she could feel the effort in her throat. Her arms moved in laborious little arcs as she slowly made her way towards the floating pallet and finally made a desperate reach for it. Kara’s fingers grasped onto a wooden board, and she pulled herself up onto it with a grunt.
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The incessant wind upon the sea was certainly not helping Kara. Dripping wet, she wrapped herself up in her overcoat in a pitiful plea for warmth. She held the edges of the garment up to her lips, the sensation of the dry fabric bringing her some comfort as she closed her eyes and left herself to the mercy of the mighty sea.
But the interminable rocking of the feeble boat wouldn’t allow her any rest.
Kara wasn’t very religious, not anymore. Yet, the sight of the cliffs and coast of Brittany moved her to relieved prayer.
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The sun had already begun to set as Kara trekked up the sandy coast. Her legs ached with every stumbling, unsure step—maybe she was a bit seasick after all—and her hands were tired of having to grip her full skirt to keep it out of her way.
She paused on the rocks, taking a moment to manually wring some of the water out of her skirt. She filled her lungs with an arduous breath before slinging the rope holding the pallet over her shoulder. Next came the fabric sling, which housed her trunk of personal items—she positioned it on her back with careful poise.
The journey up the cliffs and towards the trees was exhausting. Kara’s skirt required repositioning every few seconds, the rope was digging into her shoulder, and the pallet and trunk slammed into her back with each wobbling step. By the time she reached the straight path up to the residence, her breaths were heavy and pained, and the sun was nearly fully hidden beneath the horizon.
A soft light emanated from the windows above the mansion’s door, helping Kara feel a bit more secure as she knocked. A short blonde woman answered her summon and introduced herself with a flat “I’m Eve.” She opened the door a bit wider and gestured with her body for Kara to come in.
Eve held a small candle as she guided Kara up the stairs, the sounds of their shoes echoing through the grand yet starkly undecorated hallway. The walls of the stairwell were cement bricks, and the wrought iron bannister was rather plain and geometric.
They came to a stop in front of a similarly void room, bare save a few heavy curtains and a daybed. The raised panels along these walls matched the white-painted wood of the window frames, and they gave the chamber some elegant character.
While Eve entered the comparatively less intimidating room, Kara stayed back a moment, taking in the shafts of muted blue light from the windows and the contrasting warm glow of leaping flames from the central fireplace.
Eve crouched down to poke at the fire as Kara set down her belongings. “It was a reception room,” Eve explained. “Though I’ve never seen it used.”
The fire crackled pleasantly. “Have you been here long?” Kara inquired.
“Three years,” Eve answered, directing her attention back to the fire.
Kara peeled off her overcoat and draped it along the wainscoting. “Do you like it here?”
“Yes,” Eve said simply as she stood up. She turned to Kara, meeting her eyes now as her hands smoothed over her skirt. “I’ll let you get dry.” And with a nod, she was on her way.
Kara watched her every step.
Once the door closed, she hastily began removing her overskirt. It fell to the dark herringbone floor with an unglamorous thud.
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There was no method or grace to the way Kara wrapped her hand around the rusting crowbar, but with a few jerks, she’d managed to successfully pry the top off of the pallet.
After setting down the wood cover, Kara extended her hand, letting it fall clumsily onto the slick canvas in front of her. It was still wet, and her hand’s small circular movement caused moisture to pool at her fingertips, as if her touch had beckoned the water. So her hand withdrew, and Kara slid the canvas out from its container. Her eyes danced over the surface as she considered how to dry it, holding it in front of herself like the Communion host of an evening Mass.
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Kara decided to accompany her drying canvas, which was now positioned next to the fireplace. Stripped naked, she sat in front of the fire and pulled her legs towards herself—she was vulnerable, sitting there bare and in a new environment, and the action made her feel a bit more small, compact, and safe.
Kara set down her candle so she could light her tobacco pipe with the flames. Her large, smoky exhales grounded her, in a way, with the familiar sight and smell acting as a sort of sedative. And she stared forward, expression blank but unmistakably worn.
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Kara walked barefoot along the cement floor, making her way through the hall and to the pantry room wrapped in nothing but her robe-like smock.
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katyobsesses · 6 months ago
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It's 2:20am and despite my wants I didn't write anything. Did some edits though, which is kinda writing. But wow that stupid argument really leached all of my energy huh?
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