#i want to walk into the ocean how are so many people so fucking stupid

[stars-and-branches]

[corpsentry]

breaking the law and outing myself on the internet because i'm showcasing my senior dance thesis on april 28 at 6:30 and 8:30 pm Eastern Standard Time and i want You to see it

we don't have a livestream link yet but we will. in the meantime look at these cool posters and this cool blurb. ok now save the date SEE YOU SOON

[fappellmoan]

um yall… sam’s roommate pulled up to coffee like. um. dressed like this. btw. and their hair is just like. a better fluffier mullet. is this surprising

[weird-an]

"You know," Billy Hargrove slurs into Steve's ear, breathe soaked in whiskey and cigarette smoke. "You've got really pretty... pretty eyes."

"Uhm." Steve glances up from his cup to Billy. Waits for a laugh, an insult and a joke, but there's nothing following. Billy's eyes are glassy, reminding Steve of huge blue oceans. He has to be wasted as fuck. Just an hour ago he called Steve King Loser.

"...Thank you?"

Billy smiles at him, a little goofy, way too happy considering he's talking to a guy he hates. He lifts his hand and Steve almost flinches, but he puts a finger on Steve's temple. Tender, almost careful.

"I like your face," he tells Steve.

"Okay, I think you had too much."

Steve tries to grab the bottle Billy is holding. Billy clutches the bottle against his chest, letting go of Steve's face. It's a bit disappointing. People are staring. Steve can hear them snickering. The air is stuffy. Stupid party crowd. He doesn't want people to see Billy like that. He must admit, he likes him like that.

"Let's go," he says to him. Holding out his hand like an idiot. Billy stares at it. Steve never noticed how long his lashes are.

Billy takes his hand, when Steve is about to drop it. Unsure, like he has never done it before.

"He's going to hate me for it," Steve announces. The crowd laughs, because that's how the script of the cruel play that is Highschool goes.

They walk outside. Or rather, Billy stumbles and Steve drags him.

"Are we goin' to yours?" Billy asks.

"Sure," Steve says. He thought he'd drive Billy home, but Billy sounds so hopeful.

Getting Billy into the car is a struggle, because he doesn't want to let go of Steve's hand. Yeah. This one had way too many.

"Is this a date?" Billy babbles.

Steve nearly drives over his neighbor's prized roses. Jesus. A date?

"I hope it is," Billy mumbles, already halfway asleep on the passenger's seat.

Steve parks the car. This wouldn't be the worst first date he had, he thinks.

[kn-1013]

Exploratory Surgery #1

Sal notices that Travis is a bit space-y like he is, but it's a bit different.

Rating: E Word count: A thousand and something Pairing: None/Gen Warnings: Use of homophobic slurs

A/N: welcome to my new series called exploratory surgery. idk how many more of these i'll post but the general concept of this series will be me posting plot bunnies, darlings or drabbles that i can't/won't/shouldn't otherwise put into full fics, or they just haven't become full fics yet. you can think of them like 'sketches' in the same way that someone posts art sketches or whatever. idk i haven't slept, this one's vaguely about a niche headcannon i have for travis being able to see ghosts. please enjoy, or don't

========

It wasn’t unusual for Sal to be found staring off into the distance about something, what with the ADD diagnosis, chronic dissociation, and now these new episodes, where he’s getting fucking visions from god or something. His friends had started calling him Space-y Face because of how often they had to wave a hand in front of him to get his attention. ‘Hey, Earth to Sally!’ It was a whole thing.

That’s why he noticed that Travis seemed to have the same problem.

Some teachers seemed like they didn’t want to call out Sal for spacing out, they seemed reluctant to want to put too much attention on him, which was kind of annoying when he actually wanted to pay attention in class, because then he had to get his notes from other people or ask questions after. At least he could kind of appreciate the thought.

But they weren’t afraid to call out Travis when he was staring out the window, and make him answer questions in front of the whole class when he wasn’t paying attention. Considering he was a known problem child, it seemed like some kind of sadistic humiliation tactic to try and push him back in line or to punish him for being such an asshole, or maybe even because they simply didn’t like him, and they used him as some kind of scapegoat. Some teachers certainly hated their lives enough to do that.

Though, there was one thing that kept bugging Sal.

When Sal zoned out, he could sometimes be like a mola-mola fish, floating through the ocean, going wherever the current takes him without a second thought, or even a first one. Eyes visibly unfocused, blinking slowly, speaking slowly, mouth sometimes left agape if he wasn’t talking, (which made him glad he wore a mask, because he sure looked stupid like that). The entire time, it would kind of feel like he was moving backwards through a brick wall; it was hard to think or move, and everything felt so distant. On really bad days, it honestly felt like he took something, his head was so fuzzy.

Other times, he could be like a possum playing dead: completely frozen. Hours could pass that left his body sore and aching, where he hadn’t moved a muscle or thunk a single thought. That happened a lot around August 16th.

Either way, the big thing about Sal’s zoning out, according to how Todd’s described it, is that he seems incredibly distant and unfocused. It looks like he’s ‘inside’, as he described it—inside his own head.

Travis wasn’t like that at all, in Sal’s observations. When he stared off in the distance, it was like he was looking at something far away, even when he was staring at an empty corner. When the teachers called him out, he sometimes did some kind of double take, or his eyes kept drifting back into the spot he was staring at. He didn’t seem like he was inside his head, he seemed like he was looking at something that was right there, but Sal couldn’t really be sure what.

It reminded him a lot of whenever Gizmo started staring randomly into the distance, like he was seeing something nobody else could. He always wondered if animals could see ghosts.

Now he was wondering if Travis could, especially with the way he was currently staring at that roadkill.

Sal had been going for a walk around town on a Saturday afternoon and had ended up in a nicer part of town, the part that Ashley lived in. He was thinking about stopping by to hang out with her, when he spotted Travis, who also lived in this area.

Travis was across the street from him, on the other sidewalk. He was completely frozen, staring straight down at a dead cat near the curb.

Sal decided he felt like being a pest that day, so he walked across the street nonchalantly to over just behind Travis, who continued staring at the ground.

His gaze, shifted near his feet as Sal began approaching, but Sal’s mouth moved before he could process it, and his subsequent greeting startled Travis out of whatever daydream he was having about that dead cat.

“Hey, Travis, what’cha lookin’ at?” Sal said, almost instantly regretting it. He should’ve waited a bit longer to see what was going to happen next.

Travis jumped hard enough that his hair seemed to stand on end for a second, before he realized it was just Sal. Then he slumped his shoulders and rolled his eyes.

“What do you want?” He spat.

“Saw you blankly staring at a dead cat for no reason, thought I’d see what the fuss was about.” Sal tilted his head to the side curiously. “You know that cat or something?”

“No, never seen it before.” Travis’s voice was cold and bland.

There was a beat of silence, where Sal was staring directly at Travis. Silences like this tend to make people uncomfortable, and often makes them volunteer information they wouldn’t have normally simply by being asked. It was one of Sal’s special tactics for extracting information from other people, and it typically worked especially well, because most people already found Sal’s presence discomforting.

“Anyways, bye.” Travis began walking away.

Travis was weird though, it didn’t always work on him.

Sal caught up behind him, patting him on the back of the shoulder to get his attention again.

“You stare at stuff a lot, you know that?” Sal said, walking beside him.

Travis walked faster. “What, are you stalking me? Freak?”

“Is that a question?” Sal cocked his head to the side, appearing nonchalant as his legs struggled to keep up with Travis’s long strides.

“You’re a freak, no question about it.” Travis huffed, adjusting his book bag irritatedly and turning his head.

“It’s not hard to notice things about other people if you just pay attention. You can learn a lot about people by just watching them.” Sal’s voice was calm, factual, as if it were normal to just watch people all the time.

Travis had felt dread before, but not quite like when Sal had finished letting that sentence out of his mouth. Sal was about to describe some of his unconscious behaviors, and it was going to make him deeply uncomfortable, and there was nothing he could do about it, because Sal seemed to just love making him as uncomfortable as possible in every imaginable situation. That blue haired faggot just had to stick his plastic nose in everything.

“Like, you read a lot—like a lot, a lot. You’re ambidextrous, but I’ll bet you’re naturally right-handed because that’s the hand you punch with. You’re not very familiar with computers, and you like to be outside, but you’re not really jock levels of athletic, so I think you kind of just hang out there, usually in trees, 'cuz of the callouses on your hands. You ever been hiking? You might like it.” Sal’s voice was way too cheery and overall normal to be saying these things. Nobody knew these things about Travis, because nobody paid attention to him. They all hated him, because he was an asshole, and that was kind of the point.

The fact that Sal could just swoop in and watch him like a hawk when he wasn’t paying attention and learn all these things about him without even talking to him was terrifying in the same way he was terrified of God.

Travis recoiled harshly. “Ugh! You’re such a creep! Don’t watch me like that, what’s wrong with you?”

“What, it’s a bad thing to pay attention to your friends?” Sal sounded a bit disappointed. After that, he was disappointed? Over what? That Travis didn’t like being watched? He sure hoped this was just God working in mysterious ways somehow, because he hated this.

“I’m not your friend, you fucking stalker. Leave me alone.” He began to walk faster, and Sal started to trail behind. “To be fair, I’ve kind of just been seeing you around for a couple of years, now. I’m not even paying that much attention to you.” Sal shrugged, shortly before tripping on something on the pavement.

“That doesn’t make it much better, you fucking weirdo. Stop watching me!” Travis began racing back to his house, his face burning red at how much Sal had seemed to learn from him when he wasn’t even trying that hard. What would happen if he tried much harder? He really needed to stay away from this guy.

Sal gracefully recovered from his trip and stared off at Travis’s disappearing form, head cocked to the side. He just didn’t quite get that guy.

But boy, did he want to.

[ijustreallylikepirates]

I got an anonymous fanfic request so I’m going to be merging it with my fic on Alec’s birthday to just make it a bit longer. Hope that’s not much of an inconvenience or a bother.

I hope y'all enjoy this. I put my heart and soul into these fics just for y'all. Yall are a great group of people. Tumblr people are better than real people. Anyways I’m gonna stop yapping and here’s the fic.

Btw this fic is gonna be like really long so sorry bout that lol

Disclaimer: swearing, making out (shocker)

Finally, the day I’ve been waiting for for so many months. It’s finally my birthday.

I went full out for Nick on his birthday so I think he might spoil me like he tends to do even when it isn’t my birthday.

I don’t know what he’s planning but it’s gotta be something good with all that money he has. Perks of having a rich boyfriend.

I don’t only love him for his money though, if that’s what you’re thinking. There’s so much I love about him, like his personality. He’s so sweet, he treats me well, the way he always has a dirty joke for me. We have created so many amazing memories together it’s just hard to not love him. He also has the prettiest hair that just swoops when he turns his head in every which direction. His eyes are just so blue I get lost in them like I’m swimming in the Aruban ocean every time I stare into them. His skin is just so soft that when I hold his hand, it feels like I’m holding hands with a marshmallow.

I do quite love the expensive things he buys me though.

As I’m laying in my bed reading Fellow Travelers in the dim lamplight of my bedroom, Nick slowly opens the door and looks at me. Surprised to see me awake he says, “Good morning, birthday boy.”

He pushes the door open completely, and walks over to my bed. I smile as he pushes back the covers and lays his head on my pillow right next to me.

He kisses me on the cheek and asks, “Whatcha reading?”

I wrap my arm around his shoulders and show him the book cover. “Fellow Travelers.”

He lays his head slightly onto my shoulder and asks, “What’s it about?”

“It’s about these two guys Hawkins and Tim who fall in love in the 1950s which obviously wasn’t a very great time for queer people. So they just had to keep their love a secret and make it through the McCarthy Red Scare trials and the Lavender Scare.”

Nick stares at the words on the pages. “I have no idea what any of that means but okay.”

I just laugh. “If you’d read it, you would understand.”

“I haven’t picked up a book since what, high school?” He laughs. “Unless you read it to me like a toddler.”

I poke his nose with my finger, then kiss him. “You really want me to?”

“Hey, what the heck, love. I love hearing the sound of your voice so yes please.”

I laugh and kiss him again. “You’re so stupid. I can’t believe I’m dating you.”

“You love me.”

“I do actually.”

I put my bookmark in between the pages of my book, then place it down on the bed next to me. I turn to the side and wrap my arms around Nick’s back.

My face is now very close to his. He just smiles and places his hands on my waist.

He kisses me. “I have big plans for us today.”

I smirk. “Oh yeah? How much money do you plan on spending on me today?”

He kisses my forehead. “Don’t worry about that, love. Just kiss me.”

I roll my eyes. “Whatever, British boy.”

“Hey, you’re British too so-”

But I obviously can’t let him finish that sentence.

I quickly press my lips onto his. His eyes widen and a noise that sounded like a tiny scream escapes from the back of his throat.

When I pull away, he blushes and says, “Wow. I fucking love it when you kiss me like that.”

“What?”

“Like when you kiss me when I’m in the middle of a sentence. Or just when I don’t expect it at that moment. It’s my favorite thing ever.”

I blush and run my fingers through his hair. “You’re actually stupid. I fucking love you so much.”

He nuzzles his head into my chest. “I love you even more,” he mumbles into my chest.

I remove my fingers from his hair and rub his back. I kiss the top of his head.

We laid there for a while. He sneakily placed kisses on my chest a couple times, and I held him close to me, listening to his quiet breathing.

But after a while, he lifts his head and kisses me. “Well, we should probably get up now. It’s been a while, we can’t just lay here in your bed forever, birthday boy.” He sits up and pushes himself to the edge of my bed. “Come on. I made you breakfast.” He picks himself up off the bed and walks out the door.

Before getting up, I lay in my bed and stare at the door, the blanket pulled up over my chin. God, I love this man.

I throw the blanket off, grab my book, and get up. As I walk out the bedroom door, he has set a plate on the table. I smile and walk over to the table. But I didn’t even notice what he had cooked for me.

On the plate sat Menemen, or Turkish scrambled eggs with tomatoes. Menemen is one of my favorite Turkish dishes of all time! I wonder how he knew?

I laugh and ask, "You went out of your way to make me a Turkish breakfast?" I pick up the fork next to the plate and spear my breakfast.

I fork the eggs into my mouth and...

Oh.

Oh. My. God.

I close my eyes and throw my head back. "Mm. This is so good!"

Nick giggles as I fork more eggs into my mouth. "Thank you. I wanted to make some kind of breakfast from Türkiye. Cause y'know, I thought you would like it considering you're always trying to get me to try Turkish food."

I laugh and fork another bite of egg into my mouth, then pick up my book in my other hand. "You spoil me."

He smiles and says, "You deserve it."

I just chuckle and open up the book. But before I can take the bookmark out of the book, Nick takes the book out of my hand and snaps it shut. "Jeez. If you want gay love stories, I'm right here."

I laugh as he places the book back down on the table next to me. I shake my head and finish the last couple bites of my breakfast.

When I set my fork down on my now empty plate, Nick quickly picks up the plate and brings it over to the sink. As he starts to wash the plate he asks me, "So how was it? Was everything alright?"

"Everything was delicious, Efem. Why do you ask?"

Nick raises an eyebrow at me and says, "Well, I just wanted to know because it's the first time I ever cooked Turkish food for you and it's also your birthday! I need your first meal of the day to be perfect!"

"Well, it definitely was perfect. Thank you so much."

"You're so much more than welcome, Alec. And of course I'm going completely out of my way to make sure you feel like the most special person on this Earth." He turns his head around and says, "Now go put on something nice. We're going out."

I just roll my eyes. "Alright. Whatever you say."

I get up from the chair and walk over to Nick. I give him a quick peck on the cheek before heading off to my bedroom.

I close the bedroom door behind me and start looking through the drawers in my bureau. I pick out a nice blue button-down shirt and some black dress pants. I slip on some ankle-high white socks and a pair of shiny black dress shoes. I pull a leather belt through the belt loops of my pants, then slip a navy blue overcoat over my arms.

I quickly scan the room. I grab my phone off my bedside table and put it in my back pocket. But just as I'm about to leave the bedroom, I remember something.

My wallet.

I know that it's my birthday and Nick probably won't let me spend any money, but I never leave the house without my wallet. Ever. Like if there is ever a situation where I need to show my ID or driver's license, they'll be there right in my back pocket. Or like, what if Nick forgets his wallet today?

I scan the tops of my nightstands, but don't see my wallet on either table. I do a quick search of the bedroom; in my drawers, under the bed, under my pillows, inside my bedsheets, everywhere I could think of.

Then, I have an epiphany.

Nick.

I roll my eyes and sigh. "Not this again. Nick!"

"Yeah?" he calls back from the other room.

"Did you steal my wallet again?"

Silence.

"Hello? Nick?"

More silence.

I sigh. I walk over to my bedroom door and walk out. "I swear. Nicholas fucking Milton, you give me my wallet back this-"

And that's when I saw what he was doing.

He was just standing there in the middle of the living room, his hands in the pockets of the cashmere suit jacket he now had on, my wallet lodged between his teeth.

And honestly? I definitely blushed.

I just stood there for a second, then look Nick in the eyes and say, "Nick."

He just smirks. Well, as well as he can with my wallet in his mouth.

I walk over to him and hold my hand out. "Give it back to me now."

He slowly shakes his head.

"Now."

A low giggle from the back of his throat.

I shake my head and close my hand around the wallet. He clamps his jaw down tighter on my wallet.

I pull on my wallet, but my hand slips. "Come on, give it back!" I try to pry it out again. "You're going to get teeth marks on my wallet. That was expensive!" Another pull. "Come on!"

He just looks at me blankly, that horrendous smirk on his face.

God, he's so frustrating! I groan loudly.

But then... I smirk.

"Oh, Nick..." I say, leaning closer to him. "If you give me back my wallet, I'll reward you."

From in between his teeth, he says something like, "Wih wha?" which I assume meant, 'With what?'

I lean even closer. "Oh, I don't know. Maybe I'll kiss you. Maybe we could, I don't know..." I lean over and put my lips dangerously close to his ear. "Make out..." I whisper into his ear. I place a gentle kiss on his neck as I pull my face back.

He was frozen, his whole face completely red. I hold my hand up to his mouth and he unclamps his teeth. My wallet falls into my hand, and I close my hand tightly around the smooth leather. I do a quick check to see if he didn't take anything out of it, then slipped it into my other back pocket.

"Thank you," I say, tucking my hand behind his neck. I lean in and press my lips onto his.

He doesn't waste a second kissing me back. He puts his hands on my waist and pulls me close to him, kissing me harder.

His tongue brushes against mine as I push him hardly against the wall, making the room shake a little. One of the paintings even falls off the wall. But I'll fix that later.

I bring my hands down to his back, then start lifting up his cashmere suit jacket and white undershirt with my index, middle, and ring fingers.

I felt his hands trail down my waist and onto my ass. I press my body up against Nick's, warmth surging in between us.

I could feel his heartbeat against my chest. Or was it mine? No matter. Nick is so hot, I don't even care.

All that I could hear was my and Nick's breathing, the sound of his golden watch quietly ticking, and the occasional kissing noises. To be specific, very wet kissing noises.

He squeezes my ass as my hands start to trail up his back. His skin is so soft and warm.

I feel like I'm on the moon. We've made out many times before, but this just felt so much better. I don't know what was so special about today's makeout sesh. Maybe because it was my birthday. I don't know.

Wait...

My birthday! Nick is supposed to be taking me out today but we're up against the living room wall sharing saliva! And yes, before you germaphobes say anything about that sentence, I know how weird it is but like come on! It's Nicholas Milton iii, the hottest man on this earth!

I slowly pull away from Nick, a trail of spit stringing between our lips and breaking apart, spilling onto our bottom lips.

Nick goes in for another kiss, but I put my finger over his lips. "What time is it?" I ask him.

He pulls his hands from my ass and checks his watch. "11:00."

I retrieve my hands from his back and say, "We should get going." I back up from him.

He nods. "Just promise me you won't spend any money today. It's your day and you deserve to be treated like a princess."

I scoff and roll my eyes. "You already treat me like a princess every day, but okay. Come on now, the anticipation is killing me! I really want to know where you're taking me!"

He laughs. "Okay, okay! Just one more second. I have to grab something.

I watch as he walks into the other room. I raise my eyebrow when he comes back into the living room, holding something inside his cashmere suit jacket. That's...suspicious.

"Come on, let's go," he says, grabbing his car keys and opening the front door.

I look at him with my eyebrow raised, then follow him out the door and close the door behind me. We walk over to the car, and I climb into the passenger seat.

Nick opens the back door of the car. I pull down the sun visor and pretend to look at my hair in the mirror, but really, I watch as Nick slips something black and grey into one of those reuseable Stop&Shop bags. Very suspicious.

He then shuts the car door and walks over, climbing into the driver's seat. He shuts the door and starts up the engine.

I realize I still have the sun visor down, so I quickly run my fingers through my hair and pretend to look at it with a pout.

Nick leans over and cups my face in his hand. "Your hair looks fine, love." He kisses me on the cheek and shuts the sun visor. I blush as he puts the car in reverse and backs out of the driveway.

~

For the whole car ride I stared out the window with my legs crossed, trying to figure out where Nick was taking me.

But wait a minute...

I recognize this route!

This is the way to Barnes&Noble!

Nick really is spoiling me today, isn't he? Plus, I wonder what's in that bag in the back seat...

I turn my head to look at Nick and ask, "Are you taking me to Barnes&Noble?"

He smiles and nods. "Yep. I'm going to let you buy as many books as you want with my money."

My jaw drops. "Are you serious?"

"Mhm."

"Are you sure you want to let me do that?"

"Anything for you, baby."

I look back out the window and smirk mischievously. I rub my hands together and say, "Oh, you're about to go into debt."

Nick raises his eyebrow and says, "I'm starting to regret my decision."

I just laugh.

When he pulls into a parking spot in front of the Barnes&Noble and stops the car, I quickly jump out of the car and start running to the store.

"Come on!" I shout back to Nick as I jump up the curb.

"I'ma coming!" he shouts back, laughing in between sentences. "Wait up!"

I get to the front door and I look behind me. He's still running across the parking lot. I smirk and fling the door open as I shout, "Too slow!" and run through the door.

Nick laughs again and shouts, "Hey! Wait!" but the door shuts before he can make it there.

I don't even look back to check if Nick was behind me; I just ran behind one of the shelves. I started looking for books and piling a bunch into my arms. Hey! Nick said I could have as many as I wanted, so I'm picking up as many as I want.

But... I still want to be nice, so I'll limit myself to 20.

By the time Nick finds me, I have 19 out of the 20 books I limited myself to in my hands. Well... as good as I could hold them all anyway. I had them stacked in my arms, trying really hard not to drop them.

As soon as Nick sees me in the adult romance section, he rushes over to me. He laughs and asks, "Do you want some help with those?"

"Yes please," I say as I pile half the books into his hands.

Nick staggers a little, but quickly regains his balance and tightens his grip on my books. He huffs and asks, "What books did you even pick up?"

I look at the books and say, "Red White and Royal Blue, A Taste of Gold and Iron, Under the Whispering Door, In the Lives of Puppets, In Deeper Waters, Good Omens, Out of the Blue, Less, Kidnapped by the Pirate, the Apollo Ascending series, and the Shadowhunters Mortal Instruments series."

"Is that it?" Nick asks.

I just realized I have a guilty look on my face. "Yeah? I thought about it, and I realized I don't want you to spend that much money on me just for me to buy ink on dead trees."

Nick's eye twitched. "Alec... when I said you could buy as many books as you wanted, I meant it. Go fucking crazy. I don't care if you want to spend all my money on your ink on dead trees because it's your day and that's what's important to you. Go pick up some more fucking books and we're not leaving here until you have all the books you want."

I look at Nick, absolutely dumbfounded. "Oh... are you sure?"

Nick's eye twitches again. "Yes!"

"Like... 100% positive?"

"Yes!" Nick looks around. "But I think we need something to hold all these books though. Do they have like, something for us to put them all in?"

I consider this. "I don't think so. But you can ask one of the cashiers for one of those big paper bags."

Nick nods. "Alright. Come on, let's go get one."

He starts walking towards the front desk, me following closely behind him.

There was nobody checking out and there was only one cashier. Nick walks right up to the desk and says to the cashier, "Hello!"

The cashier looks up from her magazine but doesn't say anything.

"Uh, can I get one of those big paper bags?"

The cashier raises her eyebrow and picks up one of the paper bags from behind the desk. "This one?"

Nick nods enthusiastically. "Yes! That one!"

The cashier's face turns skeptical. "For what?"

Nick points at me and says, "I promised my boyfriend I'd buy him as many books as he wanted, and I really underestimated how many books he'd really buy."

The cashier just chuckles. "Are you going to actually come back and pay for them?"

Nick raises his eyebrow and lets out a small quiet gasp. "Are you calling me a criminal?"

"Just a genuine question, sir."

"Of course I'm coming back to pay for them! I'm too rich to start stealing shit!"

I laugh. "Stop flexing on your money."

He laughs too. "I'm just saying." He takes the bag from the cashier. "Thank you very much."

She laughs and picks up her magazine. "You're welcome. And happy shopping!"

I take the bag from Nick and dump my books into it. He dumps the books that I made him hold into the bag.

I look up at the cashier and say, "Oh, I'm definitely happy," before walking off to another shelf.

Nick loudly exhales and says under his breath, "At least he's happy," before following me.

~

By the time we made it out of the store, it was 4:00PM. I wish I was joking but I literally spent 5 whole hours in Barnes&Noble.

But I bought a lot so that makes sense.

Along with the original 19 books I picked up, I had bought The Love Hypothesis, The Song of Achilles, Dreamland, all 5 Heartstopper volumes, Nick and Charlie, This Winter, Radio Silence, Loveless, I Was Born for This, Solitaire, The Paris Library, all 6 volumes of Fence, and The Clean Slate Ranch series. 46 books total.

I also bought two Elvis records, a Queen record, and a Cardigans record.

Altogether that came to £498.94.

Now, sitting in a fancy restaurant, my books and records safely stored in the car, we laugh about that insane price.

"I mean, come on!" Nick shouts, swirling his wine around in his glass. "Almost £500 for 46 books and 4 records? That's crazy!"

I take a sip from my wine and say, "I mean, in America my shopping haul would probably amount to $1000."

Nick raises his eyebrows in shock. "Really?"

He takes a sip of wine as I nod.

"That's bogus!" he says, accidentally spilling a drop of wine on the tablecloth.

He quickly wipes up the wine as I say, "Inflations." I take a sip of my wine.

He laughs. "Sometimes I don't know about America."

I don't respond.

Nick raises an eyebrow at me. "Something wrong?"

I finish off my glass of wine and say, "Do you ever think about... Disventure Camp?"

Nick's eyes widen a little and he takes a sip of wine. "Sometimes... yeah. Why do you ask?"

I fold my hands in front of me and twiddle my thumbs. "I just can't stop thinking about the friendships I destroyed on that show or could've had. Everything I lost because I joined that show."

Nick puts his wine glass down and puts his hand over mine. "What do you mean?" he asks solemnly.

I sigh and say, "I lost a woman I really loved because I couldn't see it for my myself how shitty of a husband I was being. I haven't seen my son in almost a year. I really thought I could waltz onto that show and win the money to fix my marriage! I'm so stupid and I lost everything! It's been a while but I... still feel guilty about everything."

I grab Nick's hand and start playing with his fingers. "And I had people I was really close to on the show that I lost because I was so set on winning the dumb game! I had great friendships with Ellie, Connor, Grett. I couldn't even maintain 3 friendships without fucking anything up? And I can't believe that I let myself get tricked by Fiore! I could've won that money; I could've fixed my problems! But I didn't and I lost everything!"

"Hey! We all got tricked by Fiore! She was a little demon child, but we couldn't help it. We all underestimated what she could do, and it didn't turn out good for any of us. And I was great friends with Ashley, Lill, and Will in season 1, but I just recently made a Facebook groupchat with them and we're all talking again. Maybe if you talked it out with Ellie, Connor, and Grett, you could restore your friendships! I don't know if that'll work for you but it did for me."

He took my face in his hands and says, "And you definitely didn't lose everything. I'm here! I was the fresh start you needed, and we are currently going steady! I definitely needed you for my character arc and you needed me for yours. I'll be here to help you through everything. I'll be there when you need me most. Just call on me, and I'll be there for you in the blink of an eye."

A tear falls from my eye. "I... don't know what to say. Thank you so much."

Nick smiles and wipes the tear away with his thumb. "All I want is for you to be happy. Come on now, don't be sad. It's your birthday!"

I put my hand over his and close my eyes. "Yeah... yeah, I guess it is."

~

Dinner came and it was great. I wasn't expecting much because it was such a fancy restaurant, and usually fancy restaurants never have the best food in the world.

Me and Nick were back in the car, driving somewhere else now. He had his hand on my thigh as we listen to Billy Joel on the radio.

I laugh. "I don't understand how you can plan so much stuff to do for one day! You didn't have to spend so much money on me today. I mean, come on! It's just my birthday!"

Nick gasped. "Just your birthday? It might as well be Christmas! Your birthday is one of the most important days of the year!"

I just laugh as he pulls up to our local park and parks his car against the curb.

I look over at him and raise my eyebrow. "The park?"

He smiles and says, "Go on. Go find a nice spot. We're going to watch the sunset and I have presents."

I smile. "How did you know I like to watch the sunset?"

"I always see you staring out the living room window with a book open in your lap. The sunlight always makes your eyes look so beautiful."

I just blush and open the car door. "Whatever." I step up the curb and look around.

There was a nice spot next to the lake, a nice patch of sunlight in the grass. Perfect.

I look behind me at Nick, who is walking over to me with the reusable Stop&Shop bag. I really want to know what he put in there earlier. I guess I'll find out soon enough.

I wave him over, a big smile on my face. He laughs and starts running.

Once he gets over to me, he places the bag down on the grass. he reaches down and pulls a blanket out of the bag. The same blue fleece blanket we had laid over us after our first date.

He laid the blanket out on the ground. "Here. Sit. I don't want your hot ass to go green."

I laugh and sit down on the blanket. He sits down next to me and pulls the bag onto the blanket. He reaches into the bag and pulls out a small box wrapped in blue paper; a red envelope attached to it.

"Here," he says, handing them over to me. "Here's your present."

I take it from him and smile. "Aw, thank you. But you didn't have to. You've already done so much for me today!"

Nick rolls his eyes and says, "Just open the damn present."

I laugh and remove the card from the box. I put the box down on the blanket and go to open the envelope, but Nick grabs my arm.

"Wait! I want you to open the present first!"

I raise my eyebrow. "But why? It's good manners to open up the card before the present."

"I know but... I think you'll like what's in the card more than the present itself."

I just stare at him, confused. "Al... right then. If you really want me to."

I put the envelope down on the blanket and pick the box back up. I slowly unwrap the paper.

There was a small mahogany box. I open the lid and...

Oh. My. God.

Inside the box was the most beautiful watch I had ever seen. Emerald green and gold, beautiful sheen, smooth leather wristband. It was so... vintage!

I take it out of the box, staring at it in awe. I put it around my wrist and observe it.

"Oh, wow. Nick, this is so beautiful!"

"Even more beautiful than me?"

I scoff. "Oh, shut it." I look away. "And no, you're still more beautiful."

He laughs, then leans over and kisses me on the cheek. "Now open up the card."

I pick up the envelope and pry it open. Inside was a card with flowers and the words 'Happy Birthday!' on the cover. When I opened up the card there were two sheets of paper, but I shoved them aside to read the card.

There were no actual words on the inside, but Nick had written in his swoopy handwriting, "I love you so much. Happy Birthday Alec xoxo -Nick."

I blush. Then I close the card and look at the pieces of paper that were inside.

And when I tell you my initial shock when I read what was on it. The sheets of paper were two plane tickets to Istanbul, Türkiye!

I look at Nick, my jaw dropped. "You didn't!"

He smirks and says, "One for me, one for you."

I just laugh and throw my arms around his neck, tackling him onto the blanket. I start showering him with kisses, as he laughs and laughs.

"Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you! Oh, you're the best boyfriend ever!" I exclaim, getting up off of Nick.

Nick sits up and just laughs. "I know you always wanted me to see Istanbul so... why not take you there myself?"

I lean in and kiss him. "Oh, I promise you are going to love it there!"

He smiles and blushes. "I bet I will."

We look into each other's eyes for a moment. Then Nick seems to remember something. "Oh, I have cake for us!"

He reaches into the bag and pulls out a cake in a plastic tin. It had white frosting and the words 'Happy Birthday Alec!' written on it in chocolate lettering.

Nick smiles weakly and says, "Sorry that I couldn't bake you a cake myself. You know I'm a shit baker."

I laugh. "Yeah. You're a great cook though."

He blushes. "I really do try to make good food."

"Try my asshole! Your food is fucking amazing!"

He turns even more red. "Aw, really? Wow." He places the cake down on the blanket next to me and covers his face with his hands.

I just laugh.

After a while, he takes his hands off his face and picks some forks, a cake trowel, and paper plates out of the bag. He removes the lid off the cake and cuts two slices of cake with the cake trowel, then puts each slice on a plate.

He puts a fork on one of the plates and hands it to me. "For you, my king."

I blush and take the plate. "Oh, stop it."

We sat there together side by side, eating our cake with one hand, our other hands lying next to each other on the blanket, our pinkies crossed over.

Once we finish our cake, the sun had started to set.

I look up at the sky. It's colored in many shades of yellow, orange, purple, and pink. It was absolutely mesmerizing. I put my hands in the pockets of my overcoat and smile up at the sky.

Suddenly, I hear a click from next to me. I look over and see Nick holding up his camera.

"You sneaky bitch!" I exclaim, laughing.

He pulls the camera away from his face and laughs, saying nothing. And oh my God, the light from the setting sun was reflecting in his eyes, mixing in with the blue and making them shine. And his skin seemed to be glowing.

I blush and say, "You're so pretty."

He blushes. "You're so gay."

I gasp. "Oh no! I've been outed!"

We laugh.

I lean onto his shoulder and let out a breath. "I really wish I had my book with me."

"Who says you didn't?"

I look up at Nick. "What?"

He turns around and reaches into his bag, pulling out Fellow Travelers and handing it to me.

So that's the black and grey thing he slipped into the bag earlier. My book! I take it and smile. "You're so stupid. I love you so much!"

"I knew you'd want your book with this sunset so... I brought it, just in case."

I turn to the page I left off on and say, "How do you know me so well?"

He puts his hand on my waist and says, "Well, we've been dating for like what? A year now? I should know you pretty well."

I just shake my head at him.

He kisses me on the top of my head and says, "Happy birthday, Alec."

~

What a day this has been. Laying with Nick in his bed, I think about everything he did for me today.

"Alec?" came Nick's voice out of the silence.

"Hm?"

"That thing you called me earlier. What does that mean?"

I raise my eyebrow. "What do you mean?"

"That name you called me at breakfast."

"Efem?"

"Yes. Efem. What does it mean?"

I chuckle. "It means 'my daredevil boy' in Turkish."

He smiles and runs his fingers through my hair. "Well, that checks out."

"Mhm."

We plunge into silence again.

"Alec?" Nick asks again.

I laugh. "Oh my God, what now?"

"Sorry. One more thing. Remember how you promised to read your book to me earlier?"

I smirk. "What? Do you want me to read it to you now?"

"Yes please. I really want to know what happens."

I just laugh. "Hold on."

I get out of his bed and go to my own room, scourge through my bookshelves, grab Fellow Travelers, and go back to Nick's room.

I climb back into his bed next to him and open the book to the first page. "You ready?"

He snuggles his head into my chest and says, "Mhm."

I take a deep breath and start. "Very snazzy, Mr. Fuller."

And as I read to him, listening to his quiet breathing, I really truly know that this right here, the little moments like this with Nick, is what true love looks like.

OMG THIS HAS TO BE MY FAVORITE FANFICTION IVE WRITTEN SO FAR CNIDWBXHKDSNCH!!! THEYRE SO GAY OMG

anyways I’m sorry again for how long this one is lol I got a little silly again

I really hoped you enjoyed this one guys especially you anonymous person who asked for this

Anyways have a great day yall and there’s more fanfictions to come!!! Ily all bye!!! <<<333

[anawrites3]

I don't know if you're still doing the WIP asks! If you are!! My curiosity would appreciate some assistance:

Monster Hunting

Identity porn

Dimension travel

(Your writing is awesome ❤️)

Hello, love! Sorry for answering so late and thank you for taking interest <3 Also I love the sentence “My curiosity would appreciate some assistance” that’s so cute!!

Alright so – Monster hunting is a story where Batfam are hunters and I say monster because in Gotham there are many kinds of monsters so they have to deal with all of them. They help people every night and usually they patrol in groups of at least two but one day Dick sneaks out on his own. It doesn’t end well because as soon as monsters understand that Nightwing is alone they swarm him. They want to make him pay for hunting their kind and just show him that compared to them he’s just a little fragile human, he’s nothing.

When Dick thinks there’s no more hope for him and he’s sure that he’ll die another monster joins them. Everything goes quiet and when Dick looks up Slade is standing right in front of him.

They are lovers in this world :3 they’re still enemies but they meet sometime to fuck in secret and Dick knows it doesn’t change anything but he still can’t help but hope that Slade won’t let them kill him.

And Slade-

Slade stopped just a few steps before him and Dick had to crane his neck to look at him from his place on the floor. His hands twitched nervously at the sight of the mercenary, making the chain rattle loudly.

Slade wasn’t wearing his mask but he might’ve as well had for his face didn’t betray any emotions, not even as he slowly looked Dick over. “Slade-” Dick choked out, knowing how stupid it was to hope. Slade was a monster too, he was one of those creatures that were taking pleasure in making him bleed, showing that he was a dirt under their shoes as human. Still, he couldn’t stop himself from saying, “Please… Slade, please-” No one dared to make a sound as Slade walked over to where Dick was kneeling. Dick twitched when Slade lowered to a crouch before him – he hoped, he stupidly, naively, humanly hoped but he was just so scared – and the chain holding him in place rattled loudly. “Broken bird.” Slade reached out to cup Dick’s cheek in his hand. His touch was so gentle and for a moment Dick allowed himself to close his eyes as his chest heaved with silent sobs. “Look at you.” He gently forced Dick’s head higher and Dick blinked open his eyes to look into Slade’s one. Dick always admired the colors mixing in the iris – the gray and blue crashing into each other like ocean’s wave to create something so beautiful. A thumb stroked along Dick’s cheek, wiping off the blood. Dick couldn’t even feel it anymore, the sensation of the fluid disappearing under the overwhelming pain he was in, even if the blood seemed to cover every inch of his body. There was so much of it and all of it was his and he was still bleeding- “Please…” He cried again. “Slade…” “Which one of you got him first?” Slade asked calmly, standing up. Dick wanted to cry as his hands pulled away. “It was me!” One of the vampires bragged, stepping closer. He was visibly proud, bloody fangs on display as he puffed out his chest. “I saw him alone and cornered him. Once he started bleeding it didn’t take long before my brothers joined us and then-” One of the shadows tore away from the floor and before anyone managed to blink, the vampire’s head rolled on the dirty floor.

Slade makes sure no monster walks alive of there :D

Identity porn is also of course a sladick fic but I’m considering whether to actually write it or not because it’s about not-quite-cheating. I thought it would be fun to play and practice writing emotions and guilt and it would be probably kept more in a crack/comedy setting but anyway-

It’s a story where Slade doesn’t know Dick is Nightwing and Dick doesn’t know Slade is Deathstroke. They’re dating as Dick and Slade and often fight as Nightwing and Deathstroke – and the often banter/flirt during their fights. And so one day during a fight they fuck in a heat of moment but later they both feel like absolute shits. Then one of them finally confess to cheating – probably Dick – and first of all imagine how fucking absurd it is to say that you cheated on your boyfriend with Deathstroke fucking Terminator. And at first Slade is like No the fuck you didn’t fuck Deathstroke. And Dick goes from crying to being annoyed and angry because I know how I fucked, alright!! And Slade finally says I am Deathstroke! I think I’d remember fucking you as Deathstroke! And Dick is like ...what. What the fuck

Slade realizes what he said and tries to take it back but then Dick says something like Oh my God then I was feeling guilty for nothing… Wait, you fucking shit you slept with Nightwing!

And then it comes out that Dick is Nightwing so they didn’t really cheat.

Let me know if you think I should write it? No snippet for this time because I only really have outline for it so far.

And last but not least, dimension travel! It’s slajaydick story where Dick doesn’t have a very good time but what’s new? Ahaha

So Dick accidentally gets send into another dimension, one where everything is the same save for the fact that Dick never was Slade’s apprentice – instead Slade got Jason into his hands. I like to say that Dick falls there in a trap that wasn’t even set because he just tries to find a way home and instead stumbles into Jay. He then follows Jay to Slade’s base where Slade is waiting and when Slade finds out that Dick’s from another dimension, therefore no one in this world will look for him, he decides to keep him.

I posted a snippet the last time I was doing the wip ask game, you can find it right here!

But have another one <3

"I don't think you quite understand the situation you're in right now." Slade drawled, voice just as deep as Dick remembered from his nightmares and so pleased it was almost dripping off of his words. "No one knows you're here, little bird. No one will even think to look for you - not Batman, not Robin because in their world everything is as it should always be." "You're wrong." Dick spat out, fists clenching against the chain. "As soon as they'll find out that I'm in this dimension they'll-" "And that's the thing, isn't it?" Slade interrupted with a mean smile. "They have to find out about it first. They have to notice that you're gone and then start looking for you. Then they'll actually have to find you." He stroked the back of his fingers along Dick's cheek. "And I can promise you, they won't find us easily." "It doesn't matter." Dick moved away from the touch, as far away as he was able. "They'll find me and then you'll finally pay for everything you did-" "So sure of yourself. It's pretty admirable." Slade hummed. "Isn't it, apprentice?" Jason who all this time just stood by the wall without a word, hands clasped together behind his straight back, dipped his head in a quick nod. "Yes, Master." He said, not taking his green eyes off Dick for a second. "But it's also stupid and naive." "That's right." Slade grinned. "The sooner you understand it the better, Richard. I have all the time in the world to do what I want with you. And what I want is to break you and then rebuild you, piece by piece until you’re exactly what I want you to be, boy." "You can try, you sick fuck." Dick growled. Like hell he was going to let Slade do whatever he wanted. He already went through it once and knew that he could resist Slade getting into his head, no matter how difficult it was. He was going to fight Slade every step on the way. “I know your tricks, Slade. You won't break me that easily.” "Don't worry, I have my ways for unruly boys." Slade said, glancing briefly towards Jason. “And the fight is what I'm hoping for, actually." He grabbed Dick's jaw to raise his head, forcing Dick to look him in the eye. "I have big hopes for you, kid. Would be a shame if you disappointed me right away.”

Thank you for asking, dear! <3

You can ask me about my wips right here

[thesakuragarnet]

On The Clock (His Ocean Eyes smvt spoiler oneshot)

Summary: A k!nktober oneshot for His Ocean Eyes; takes place after the LOV and the MLA join forces but before the Paranormal Liberation War Arc. Dabi decides to make his girlfriend forget about all the other shit.

Here's the link to the main fic

THIS WORK IS 18+ ONLY! S3XUAL TAGS WILL BE HIDDEN BELOW THE KEEP READING BUTTON!

Non-Spicy Tags: heavy smvt, Dabi X Fem!OC, Dabi X OC, swearing, alterante canon/fix-it-fic oneshot, His Ocean Eyes spoilers, light fluff/romance, established relationship, making out, pre-paranormal Liberation war arc

Word Count: 2,619 words

AO3 link

Spicy Tags: k!nktober, over$timulat!on, vag!nal f!ngering, 0ral s3x, cunn!l!ngus, s3rvice t0p Dabi, d0m Dabi, n!pple play, f0replay, multiple 0rgasms, squ!rting, 0ral fixation, dom/sub undertones

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It started out as any other ordinary day at the Gunga Mountain Villa. Dusk Ryuuzaki was going over paperwork in one of the many offices. She hated it. Shigaraki had told Skeptic to delegate hands-on duties, and Dusk was handed a stack like she was some fucking secretary. The only reason she was actually following those ridiculous orders was because Dabi hadn’t been at that meeting. If he had, the stack would’ve been incinerated, and Skeptic would’ve given them both an earful. Dusk was in her villain costume, sporting a zip-up, dark purple, leather bodysuit with a short, black, faux fur coat and chunky-heeled leather boots to match. She fumbles through the stack of papers, clearly growing more frustrated by the second, when her boyfriend of four years walks in. Touya Todoroki closes the double doors and locks them, eyes scanning the room for Skeptic’s cameras. His eyes fall to one hidden within the leaves of a fake plant in the corner, and he saunters over, not bothering to be discreet as he shoves the lens facedown in the artificial soil before melting the camera entirely. However, Dusk hardly looks up, focused on her work, barely registering Dabi’s presence.

“How was the Violet Regiment meeting?” She mumbles, immediately recognizing her boyfriend’s gait and familiar smell with her draconic Quirk. 

“Boring. Unproductive. The usual,” Touya replies dryly with a yawn as he grabs the edge of one of the rolling chairs in the room, dragging it over beside his girlfriend.

“I was kinda wondering why you weren’t there,” He mutters under his breath, almost sounding like he’s irritated, but Dusk ignores it. 

“I would’ve been…had a certain bastard not given me all these shipment orders to double check,” She grumbles, and Dabi’s eyebrows furrow. 

“The weirdo’s got you doing grunt work ?” He rasps incredulously, crossing his arms over his chest as he scoots the chair closer, looking over the papers in her hands. “Couldn’t one of their stupid army members do it?”

Dusk shrugs, trying her best not to complain about it. She didn’t want Touya to start trouble…and with Skeptic of all people. Touya growls something under his breath as he sits up straight in his chair, running his thumb over the staples in his wrist. Finally, Dusk slams down the stack of papers, startling Dabi.

“UGH! I’M SO FUCKING SICK OF THIS! I DIDN’T SIGN UP FOR THIS! ALL OF IT IS A BUNCH OF FUCKING NUMBERS! I’M AN ORIGINAL LEAGUE MEMBER, AND HE DOESN’T TAKE ME SERIOUSLY!” She loses her cool for a moment, raking her fingernails through her long, dirty blonde hair. 

“I don’t even care enough to pay attention. I don’t even know how to properly do this shit,” She huffs, crossing her arms over her chest. 

“I’ll tell you what, babe,” Dabi sighs, turning his chair to face her before swiftly hooking his heel around the leg of her chair and spinning it around to face him. “How about I make you forget all about those stupid numbers?”

Dusk blinks, swallowing hard as she stares into Dabi’s shimmering blue eyes. She knows that look all too well. The half-lidded primal stare that he usually gives her before he fucks her brains out…except…his eyes are softened at the corners. He’s looking at her the way he did before they became full-fledged villains. Before they had to get used to a life of real crime with real consequences…consequences that involved snuffing out souls when necessary. It’s a look of pure, unadulterated devotion, thinly laced with obsession. A look that she now only received in the morning when she would wake up next to him and right before they went to sleep. 

“I don’t know if one of these stupid underlings has a Cupid Quirk, or if I’m just being needy, but I can’t get you out of my head today,” Dabi smirks, cupping the side of her face and gently stroking her cheek with his thumb as he leans forward, ever so slightly looming over her. Out of pure habit, she leans into his touch, and a gentle smile plays at Dabi’s lips.

“Had you been at the meeting with me I don’t know if I would’ve been able to control myself. Might’ve played with you under the table a little bit…unless you wouldn’t want that…would you?” He croons, voice low and teasing, and it makes Dusk tremble; her face flushes. Ever since they joined the League of Villains, Touya’s attitude had changed. He adapted this devious persona rather quickly, only letting Dusk really see his true colors. But, when he found out how much she liked “Dabi”, he decided to put that new image into practice a bit more when he wanted to make her blush. 

“Use your words, princess,” Touya grins, bringing his hand from her cheek to rest on her chin and tilting it up toward him; Dusk gulps before nodding. 

“Maybe I’d pull you into my lap…and just start kissing you…make everyone watch,” Dabi whispers, and the thought gives Dusk goosebumps. As if on cue, he grabs her thighs, pulling her into his lap and connecting their lips in an amorous kiss. Dusk melts in his embrace, arms delicately draping over Dabi’s shoulders as she kisses him back. Their lips fit together so naturally, almost like a puzzle piece. Touya prods at her mouth with his long, stitched tongue, making her whimper, and he grips her hips tighter. Dabi drinks in her taste, her touch, her smell…everything about her as he caresses her, his mind fogging with pleasure and love. Maybe there was someone with a cupid Quirk roaming around the base, but Dabi didn’t care. He’d loved her and wanted her for years…before they were villains. They didn’t try to keep their relationship a secret…after all…they’d been dating since before he took up Giran’s offer. Dusk whispers his real name between kisses…she loves saying it. It sounds so beautiful to her…almost as beautiful as the person it belongs to. Touya groans, lips moving to graze her neck as his hands dance up her sides, pausing just below her chest. 

Without warning, he scoops her up, grabbing her by the ass as he wraps his arms underneath her, lifting her up as he stands. He walks over to the low fireplace mantle, setting her on it before reaching up and slowly unzipping her bodysuit. He looks like he’s salivating as she shrugs her coat and bodysuit out of her arms, revealing her turquoise bra. 

“God, you’re so beautiful,” Dabi slurs as if he's drunk off pleasure. He reaches around, unclasping her bra and pulling it free. Before Dusk can even fully sit straight up, he’s already cupping her breasts, massaging her nipples with his thumbs as he bites his lower lip. She gasps, leaning her head back against the wall as she feels carnal need stirring between her thighs. 

“ Touya ~” She moans softly, whispering his real name breathlessly as the ecstasy starts to boil within her. Something twitches inside Dabi when he hears her, and he brings his lips to her nipple.

Dabi groans around her tit, trying to fit it entirely into his mouth as he sucks on her flesh, unnaturally long tongue lapping at her nipple. Dusk sighs, breaths coming out hot and heavy as she arches into him, trying to push more of her breast into his gaping maw. 

“ Fuck ,” Dabi growls, hand grasping at her breasts as he suckles, cock throbbing in his pants. He wants to claim her so badly…but…he can wait. Dusk’s eyes roll back into her head, breaths coming out as shrill moans. Touya’s teeth pinch at her, gently tugging with deliberate tenderness. His tongue swirls, tending to her hardened nipple as he stares up at her with glowing, heavy-lidded eyes. His hands drop down, pulling at the sides of her bodysuit, and Dusk immediately takes the hint. She pushes him off and kicks off her bodysuit; Dabi gets on his knees as he pulls off her panties. 

“You gonna be a good girl and ride my dick tonight?” Dabi hums as he spreads her legs, bringing his lips to her clit; he cringes internally at his own words, but he knows she likes it. She adores the overwhelmingly dominating facade that he puts on for her most of the time. 

“ Fuck , yes,” She whimpers back, and her reaction makes a smug laugh bubble in his chest. 

“For now, I’ll just let you ride this tongue,” He chuckles darkly before he licks up and down her slit.

“You’re so fucking delicious ,” Dabi moans into her sex, and Dusk completely surrenders, fingers running through Dabi’s charcoal hair, holding on for dear life. Dusk instinctively rolls her hips, wrapping her ankles around the back of Touya’s neck and locking him in. The fiery villain melts, eyelids fluttering as he starts devouring her like he’s starving. The lewd slurping sounds are hidden beneath the overbearing A/C system that clunks in the wall, but, if anyone stood at the door and listened, they’d definitely hear the two going at it. 

Dabi’s sapphire eyes gaze up at Dusk’s jade emerald ones, ensnaring them in a heated, unbreakable stare as his tongue slips inside her with ease. Dusk gasps, fingers twisting in his hair, making the corners of his eyes squint as he winces. Still, he doesn’t change his rhythm, and he doesn’t stop. He’s going to make her come until her brain is numb if he can help it. His tongue massages her insides, drinking in her flavor. Pleasure starts stirring in the pit of Dusk’s stomach, burning between her thighs and pooling in her lower back. She focuses on the sensations as Dabi pulls back, swallowing briefly before he starts sucking on her slit, slipping two fingers effortlessly inside her dripping pussy. He swirls his tongue around the pulsing pink bud, curling his fingers to try to reach her G spot, satisfied groans muffling in his throat and vibrating against her flesh. Dusk squirms and writhes on the mantle, growing desperate as her face reddens. Dabi’s unoccupied hand snakes up her bare body, dancing up her stomach and splaying out in the middle of her chest, fingers spreading and trying to massage the sides of her breasts as he continues suckling. She’s getting close…he can tell by her stuttering breaths and the way she pulls him closer. Her sweet voice shrills higher and higher, and she comes the second Dabi asks her to. He reaches up, clasping his hand over her mouth tightly as she screams his name, twitching as he continues to devour her overstimulated cunt.

“God, I can’t ever get enough of you,” Dabi groans as he continues to lap up her slit, suckling on her clit. He’s obsessed with everything about her. Her touch. Her taste. Her scent. Her body. Her heart. Her mind. Everything. He’s so fucking obsessed…and so is she. Dusk continues to blubber behind his hand, spit soaking his fingers as she whimpers and moans, pleading for more and saying his name. He throbs every time he hears it. The name that only she knows to call him. It drives him fucking wild. It makes him want to make the sweetest love to her…and at the same time, rail her until neither of them can think. 

Dusk’s mind swims with pleasure, her brain completely overloading as moans tumble out of her mouth like a waterfall. Touya doesn’t stop, determined to wring every possible orgasm out of her body. Her thighs tighten around him reflexively, practically suffocating him, forcing him to briefly come up for air before he dives back into her folds. Her body floods with ecstasy, back arching as Touya ghosts his fingertips over her nipples and passionately plants lewd kisses between her legs. His breath comes out hot and heavy as he drags his tongue flat against her slit, pausing once he reaches the throbbing pink nub and teasing it with the tip of his tongue. Tension boils inside her once again, bubbling up and up and up along with her high-pitched sighs. Without warning, the climax wrecks Dusk all at once, and she opens her mouth to scream, only for Dabi’s raised hand to clasp over her mouth once again. The moment it happens, Dabi gets even more aggressive; he laps her up until she’s squirting, and his voice rasps with a gravelly groan as he swallows the sweet fluid. Dusk is shaking now, completely overcome with emotion and physically drained from the sheer strength of her orgasm. Finally, Dabi pulls back, licking the slick from his lips as he gazes up at his lover. 

“You alright?” He sneers, pulling his fingers out of her cunt and his other hand away from her mouth, wiping the mix of fluids on the bottom of his shirt. Dusk bites back another wanton moan as she catches her breath, inhaling and exhaling from her nose as she comes down from the ethereal high. Dabi raises his eyebrow, repeating his question before he kisses her knee and looks her in the eyes. His expression softens when she nods.

“Easy, baby,” Touya whispers, a hand resting on her thigh as he bends down, sliding her panties up over her ankles and helping her back into them. 

Dusk blinks, head still swimming with fog and bliss. 

“W-what? What are you doing?” She stammers, looking at the obvious stretch in the crotch of his jeans as he stands up.

“I’m just fine for now, baby. Don’t worry…I’m fine with being patient until tonight. I just thought you needed a little stress reliever…and I missed you,” He replies thoughtfully, helping her back into her body suit before slipping her bra over her shoulders.

“You’re waiting on sex all the way until tonight?” Dusk clarifies, still a little confused. Dabi usually didn’t have a problem with a quickie in one of the PLF offices. “Is something wrong?”

Dabi smiles and shakes his head as he zips up the dark purple leather, halting just below her chin.

“Not at all…I just…figured it might be more fun if I wait until the end of the day,” He grins, cupping the side of her face with his hand and bending down to give her a gentle kiss. Dusk’s breath hitches, closing her eyes as she softly kisses him back, draping her arms around his neck as he picks her up off the mantle and sets her on her feet, slipping a hand around her waist as he deepens the kiss. Dusk can feel how aroused he is when their bodies meet, albeit with their clothes as barriers. There’s so many things he wishes he could do to her right now…but he has a schedule to maintain today. The first thing he’s gonna do is stop by Skeptic’s office and scare the bastard for treating his lover like a disposable lackey. He’s got more meetings later in the day…a long itinerary of garbage he was given during the meeting this morning…which is why he wanted to see Dusk during his little window of free time. He shudders as he forces himself to pull back from the kiss, staring down at Dusk’s blissed-out expression. She still has stars in her eyes, and it makes warmth bloom in Dabi’s chest. He kisses her swiftly on the cheek before whispering in her ear:

“Meet me in the bedroom after dinner…we might have to get a new headboard after I’m done with you.”

Dusk’s eyes widen, and without another word, Dabi winks and strides out of the office.

[voltronkep1erhiyyih]

I HATE SUMMER

who could anyone ever love summer??? If you do I'm not gonna try and change your mind but I do think you're a psycho

"it's warm and you can go out late with your friends because it's still light out and you can swim and party and get a tan and bla bla blaaa" shut. it. summer is the worst season ever argue with the wall.

the only things summer brings are bugs, heat, sweat, people and so many mosquitos oh my days. the only good thing summer brings is summer vacation and that's it.

I just want to go out for a walk or a ride my bike and every five fucking seconds I get hit with a mob of bugs. my whole body turns into an ocean of sweat after 5 seconds of being outside no matter what I wear. and there is LITERALLY no escape from the heat. where I am right now it's like 28 degrees during the day time and 22 at night. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO SLEEP IN THOSE TEMPERATURES?????? "just open a window" I CANT BECAUSE IT DOESN'T HELP ANYWAY. it's just a hot in my room as it is outside. and obviously something summer brings along are mosquitos and those stupid crane flies. if I open my window not only will it not help with the heat but it will bring every mosquito and crane fly in a 5 kilometer radius into my room. so not only will I not be able to sleep at night because of the heat, but I'll also have those spawns of satan flying near my head the whole night. opening a window only helps if there is a breeze and when the sun isn't directly projected onto your window during the day. but sadly enough there is no breeze and the sun just keeps shining on my window all day so the only thing I can do is keep my curtains closed and suffer. and don't even get my started on sunscreen. if feeling icky and sticky because of all the sweat wasn't enough. sunscreen is also something that just makes me AAHHHHHHHHH. it makes everything stick to you and it's just... no. ew. like yes it prevents me from turning into mister crabs every time I go outside but the way it feels on my skin and how it makes me feel even more sticky is just not okay.

like the heat genuinely makes my mad and agitated and just so frustrated cuz there is no fucking escape.

the heat also makes all my posters fall of the wall so yeah thats really fun.

summer has only just begun and I've already had enough. like I am so sick and tired.

anyway thank you for listening and I will now continue to suffer in this god forsaken heat and prepare myself for the many days and weeks to come. (I don't think I'm gonna make it. send help pls)

[saltygilmores]

Thoughts While Watching Gilmore Girls, Season 2, Episode 8, Part 1 ("The Inns and Outs of Inns")

I'm skipping past the second half of the previous episode (I really couldn't think of anything interesting to say about it. It was that whole thing where Rory and Paris get initated into The Puffs, and the Mother/Daughter Fashion Show). You can read my previous reviews here.

This lady held out her cup for a refill. Jess looks down at the mug and walks right past her. I found his terrible customer service inexplicably delightful. I'd say she was gonna stiff him out of a tip for that move, but no one in Stars Hollow tips anyway.

Jess: It's 7:45 am, do you want me to go to school or openly defy child labor laws? Idk, I think you should have a word with the Walmart corporation first, the place hired a 17 year old to drive a forklift during school hours. Luke: Stay out of trouble. Jess: Guess that means calling off the chickie run down at the salt flats. What in the everliving hell does that even mean? What teenager talks like that in 2001, the Year of our Lord? Damn you, AmyShermanPalladino. *sighs deeply*. *Opens Google* "A chickie run is a high-speed drag race toward the edge of a steep bluff above the ocean using stolen cars." It's apparently a reference to the movie Rebel Without A Cause with James Dean. Well, I learned some pointless new information today. Thank you, Mr Mariano. You may not serve customers their coffee but you do serve up hot steaming cups of old timey references. Lorelai and Sookie: We're coming up with names for the new inn. Michel: How about the Money Pit? The Outhouse? The Inn Headed for Bankruptcy?

Heh heh.

I only recall seeing a police car in Stars Hollow two other times (when Kyle's party got busted up and the time Jess comes back in season 4 and gets pulled over? Am I forgetting anything?). Here's the big emergency that called the mythical, rarely seen Stars Hollow Police into town. Spoiler alert: It was some chalk.

And now this pathetic town of bored people with nothing better to do are going to call an emergency meeting over some chalk. Taylor is fa-reaking the fuck out.

Taylor: I've got a dead body outside of my store! Sheriff: No, you have a chalk outline in front of your store.

Sheriff: My partner's out doing a headcount to see if anyone is missing. Until then, just hang tight. Let me remind you how many people live in Stars Hollow. Sometimes it may seem like you only see the same 15 people over and over, but the mind can play dirty tricks on you.

Yes Taylor, just hang tight for a few minutes while one police officer does a head count of nearly 10,000 people. A police officer going around counting people to see if anyone happens to be dead is one of my favorite bits of absurdity in the entire show. 30 seconds later:

Golly that was fast!

Heh heh heh. It is a pretty stupid prank. I think most of Jess' pranks are amateur at best. I believe in his potential. He could come up with something way better. The people of Stars Hollow deserved to be Punk'd for how they treat him. I give this one an A though, because it pissed everyone off so thoroughly, and that's all that matters.

Gilmore Girls wardrobe department: LAYERS! MORE LAYERS, DAMN IT! Wardrobe Assistant: He's in a shirt under a shirt under a vest! I cannot layer anymore! *cries*

Sooo purdy.

Luke jamming a screwdriver into a toaster is highly erotic.

It goes without saying that from here on out we are going to be pausing often to admire screen shots of Jess with absolutely no context. Tomatos Sign: Spotted

Oh, we haven't gotten to the part where Jess murders Shane and dumps her body in the lake. We'll get to that in season 3. In my gritty Gilmore Girls reboot titled The Hollow, there could be several justified homicides. For one example, it's canon that Luke never throws Taylor off a bridge, so my reboot would seek to correct this.

HE'S JUST A LITTLE GUY LET HIM SULK AND LURK What the hell else is there to do in Stars Hollow anyway? The image of Jess of visiting an arts and crafts store is pretty hilarious.

What the hell is AmyShermanPalladino's obsession with swans? "Swans scream one thing, Mom. Sigfried and Roy." Ah yes, another fine early 2000's tasteless "gay" insult. Luke & Lorelai are discussing the grave consequences of missing or even being late to a town meeting. To which I say, if Taylor threatens you, just tell him you're gonna squeal to the Feds about all of his shady financial crimes. That'll shut him right up.

He's been in town for like what, a week and he's already a "situation". I think that's awesome. Your mere existence on this Earth is so powerful that you've thrown an entire community into disarray. Good for you, baby. Good for you.

May I remind you again they are calling this community meeting because of some chalk. "When Mrs. Lanahan couldn't buy lettuce from my store, she drove straight to Woodbury instead." You know what, I just gotta bide my time and let the nutcase rant, because Walmart will eventually drive him out of business for good and in a double scoop of justice, I have faith that he'll also be taken down for his money laundering crimes.

This committee of 85 year olds will seal Jess Mariano's fate. It looks like Hell's waiting room. Jess loves a good town meeting because it's the only time he gets to stay home and whack off in private. Luke tries to give Taylor $1 for a head of letuce (actually, first he asks "how much is a head of lettuce?" which is something he should know if he's running a diner, but I digress. "The CHARGES against your nephew are numerous!" Let's hear them, shall we? He stole the "Save the Bridge" money. But Taylor was going to launder that money, what will he do now? He stole a gnome from Babette's garden. He "hooted" one Miss Patty's dance classes. Please try to imagine Jess ever "hooting" a woman (uhh, she means catcalling...I guess? I could see him calling out some sarcastic quip/witty observation though. He took a garden hose. Why Jess? Why? How did they know he did it? What did he intend to do with it? Where did he keep it? With the 500 baseballs he stole from the school? He set off the fire alarms at school last week. This is a more serious prank that would have gotten him in big trouble if he was caught. And again, Lane and Dean go to this school. Hello? I know at this point Jess and Rory don't know each other well, but that's still major gossip, so why are Rory's boyfriend and best friend always keeping this stuff from her? I am Jess Mariano's defense lawyer and every last thing my client does to annoy the citizens of Stars Hollow is justified. Lorelai, sarcastically: I heard he controls the weather and wrote the screenplay to Glitter** (**a movie starring Mariah Carey that came out in 2001 and is regarded as one of the worst movies of all time and was a box office bomb and possibly the biggest blight ever on MC’s career). You know, Lorelai is being sarcastic by saying she thinks Jess controls the weather but she hates him so much I wouldn't put it past her that she actually believes that. I mean, she already believes that the sun shines out of Dean Forrester's ass. Bootsy: I never like the look of that kid, I knew he was bad as soon as I saw him. AGAIN HE'S BEEN HERE FOR LIKE A WEEK. The subject of the meeting turns from Jess to piling onto Luke for no good reason, and my man Lucas is just about to burst a blood vessel defending himself and Jess from these nutjobs. I honestly couldn't love him more. He's so REAL. Please don't stroke out on us, we need you. Taylor: "There is a consensus among all the towns people that Stars Hollow was a much better place before Jess got here." Kindly go to hell, Taylor Doose.

Dean spending two days on his hands and knees scraping Jess' prank from cement is a beautiful kind of justice. Edit: A commenter made me wonder how Jess made his artwork stick to the cement. Off to Google I went once again. Apparently you can use hairspray to set chalk art, but professional chalk artists use high grade varnishes to set their designs. Jess never half-asses anything. He puts his whole, cute little ass in. You also have to wonder how in a town full of unemployed busy bodies with nothing better to do than notice everything that goes on in town right down to when Rory Gilmore farts, not a single person heard or saw any of this happening. Lorelai fretting that the Independence will be sold to a corporate hotel chain is realistic and it would inevitably happen in my gritty Gilmore Girls reboot titled The Hollow. The Independence Inn would become a Holiday Inn, Luke's would become a Starbucks, Doose's would become a Walmart, and Dean Forrester's house would be a parking lot after a meteor crashed through the roof.

Someone should bash your head in with a safe.

Never in the history of mankind has a single individual sown so much havoc with a single stick of chalk.

Every time I look at that wool jacket lining I feel super itchy.

The captions should really say "okuh", and not "okay." Because that was a stellar "okuh". Get it right. Just another injustice perpetuated against Jesstopher Mariano.

Oh, she did. To be continued in Part 2 so I can add more screen shots.

[his-mother-is-lightning]

EPISODE 6: FEAST OR FAMINE (too soon?)

AKA - Break a leg, kid! (Sanji's bad day)

AKA AKA - a blond and a red-leg walk into a bar

AKA AKA AKA - how many pirates does it take to sew up a swordsman? (answer: just one, if he's also a chef)

my episode 5 reaction

Luffy just straight up dissociating over here. A grand start to the episode

Will the trope of someone about to do surgery asking for alcohol and then drinking it ever not be funny? I don't know, but I don't want to live in a world where it isn't

Mihawk wears cowboy boots 👢

I'm so glad they don't call him Hawkeye all the time like they do in the anime. Dracule Mihawk is an objectively amazing name - why the hell would he need a nickname?

Luffy cleaning Zoro's swords + his mental spiral/rant about wanting Zoro to recover is such a gut wrenching moment.

Love me a group of grown men making fun of a child. Poor tiny Sanji has already been through enough guys (as we learn much later in the series) and then Zeff tries to add oregano to his food? The inhumanity of it all!

Just two guys, stuck on a rock, trying to not starve to death. Just a guy watching a bratty kid walk away with all their food. Just a child, laid out in the sun, waiting to die. Just a pair of survivors, dreaming of a restaurant in the middle of the ocean. Just a-

(warning for gross) but like, Zeff was planning on dying and letting Sanji eat his corpse, right? And if they were stuck there for 85 days... what did they eat? Did they finish eating his leg? Bc that seems like the only option. How am I the only one wondering this??

Ngl I don't get the fairy tale Nami reads to Zoro. Maybe that's why I don't get her perspective. Cause she's yelling at Luffy and it's clear that she's upset, but on what planet could Luffy have stopped Zoro from going after Mihawk?

Koby is over here, trying to be helpful by asking Garp to accept his grandson for who he is. Which Garp obvs takes to mean, "if he wants to be a pirate so damn badly, then I'll treat him like a pirate. And kill him"

Meanwhile Arlong slams open the door, late to the party with his Starbucks, ready to make everything worse for everyone.

Luffy trying to talk to an unconscious Zoro - so soft, so pure.

"I can't let innocent people get hurt because of me" must sting. Poor Nami. Everything she's running from is catching up, and here's Luffy literally running at them

HOW DID YOU NOT NOTICE THERES AN EAR IN THE BAND OF YOUR HAT?? He was just repairing the hat last episode!!

Ok Nami I get it. I get it, right. But telling Arlong to drop him in the sea is such a fucked up thing to do. I can only think that she has faith that one of the crew would go and save him. That has to be it, right?

Nami changing into a slinkier outfit when she goes back to Arlong's crew is Noted.

And there's Sanji, diving into the water to save Luffy, a guy he literally just met. Did he realize that Luffy couldn't swim?

Garp makes his stupid little speech wearing his stupid little dog hat. What is with these ppl wearing animals on their head?

Helmeppo looking over at Koby when he hears about the new plan bc he's caught the friendship bug and it's given him a bad case of feelings

Luffy going to Zoro at his lowest moment to say 'i need you right now. I need you back' is so pure. And of course Zoro wakes up for him

Love me a man who wears a full suit to join his new pirate crew. And when he has a beautiful, emotional goodbye with his father figure? Sanji cries and I cry and we all cry about found families.

The return of Buggy! Poor Sanji is standing at the back, prob wondering what the fuck he's gotten himself into

I'm saving the last two episodes for tomorrow. And once I've finished season one, I'll prob go back to watching the anime. I was at episode 60 I think

Onwards and upwards

[lumpkinboi]

idk how to feel about the oceangate situation. there's a lot of thoughts going on about it.

on one hand, it's a horrible situation, and a scary one at that, to know that there are people trapped in a literal coffin under the ocean.

on the other hand. they did kind of just. stepped into a bear trap willingly. and i'm not gonna say you shouldn't joke about it, you can joke about whatever you want. i particularly don't feel great that people straight up died a horrible death, but at the same time... they did kinda just walk into a trap out of their own volition. that's kinda funny. in a dark way, but it is. i think the best analogy is simply you seeing a bear trap and deciding to step on it because you thought it'd be fun. and then you died. i wouldn't make fun of you for it, but i wouldn't act like i don't get how people find it funny. it is funny. i don't wanna joke abt it, but i won't stop myself from laughing at it, if that makes sense.

but that's besides the point, because there are two points of extreme importance here that i have not seen a single person talk about. firstly, why are they allowed?? to do that??? why is oceangate allowed to sell seats into a coffin that they are well aware isn't tested at all? it doesn't sit right with me. i don't give a shit if it's in the contract, you should not be allowed legally to sell passanger seats into a death trap just cause you wrote a contract about it. this whole operation should be illegal in the first place period and oceangate should be prosecuted for what they did, regardless of whether or not there was a contract.

i don't understand why so many people think contracts are just a hand wave for you to be allowed to do whatever the fuck you want. they are not, you don't get to write whatever and act like the other party is entirely at fault for not reading it. you think other people's lives are fine to play with just cause you deem them "too stupid"? we're way past natural selection now buddy. get with the times.

i think people are getting too stunlocked by the fact that these people were rich and they're not really paying attention to what's important here. why is this allowed in the first place? why is oceangate allowed to make a jerry rigged machine and take you to the bottom of the ocean, without taking any precautions to make sure it's safe?? i don't care if these people are rich, and you shouldn't either. i read an article about this and there was someone saving money for 30+ years to go see the titanic in that submarine. you people would be singing a very different song if that happened to that person.

i'm not telling you to feel sorry for these people. i certainly do not. i'm just saying that being obsessed with people dying isn't very healthy, despite the fact that you think they deserved it or not.

the second point, and the most egregious thing about all of this is people jumping on the 19 year old's ass. he was 19. he's was not that smart. it's not like you instantly become a responsible adult as soon as you turn 18, have any of you met an 18 year old??? they do stupid shit that endanger their lives all the time. you don't turn into a paragon of morality and intellect the moment you turn 18. you're basically still a teenager at that point. main difference being that you're of legal age, but that's about it.

let alone the fact that he was going with his father, so i BET you his father likely convinced him to go, and because that's HIS FATHER, the person that he's meant to trust wholeheartedly, he just went without a second thought. you people are weird as fuck for treating a 19 year old like a 30 year old.

i'm not saying that the 19 year old shouldn't be responsible for his actions, but i don't think it's fair to treat him as if he was entirely at fault for what happened to him. i would not be surprised if his dad played a huge part in his decision.

[quarantinescarpet]

My quotes list from over the years

FRESHMAN

-“‘tis I the frenchiest fry.”

-“Someone’s stabbing me in the leg with a spork.”

-“I A DEMOCRAT OOPS”

-Spill the pony tea.

-How many geese would it take to bring down a full grown man?

-Point is, I love you both and I would 10/10 ride a motorbike

-“Apparently someone in Mr. Hopkins G block got scared of turkey noises.”

-“It’s like... it’s like a stupid game of Russian roulette Tetris with giant death machines”

-“I feel like you'd have a shrine to remember Spider-man, complete with candles and every single ‘mr stark I don't feel so good’ meme printed out.”

-“don’t ask me, I don’t know anything about the sex”

-“I WILL RIP YOUR DICK OFF”

-“What’s the difference between gay silence and regular silence?”

-“what yields a focus pencil? A patience tree?”

-“I might boogie on the desk so hard that the gum keeping it together gets unchewed and yeets back into the dimension it belongs in”

-“You smell like my fencing teacher”

-“sponsor a sponsor! Become a child”

-“Woof woof bitch, im a furry.”

-“yo to the hoe”

-“does my emoji still smell?”

SOPHOMORE

-“peter doesn't have a detachable head”

-“two thirds of me is wearing glasses”

-“You look like you have autism. Are you vaccinated?”

-“When did Haydar become friends with Emily?” “In hell”

-“I know you have something to do with Filbert”

-“Ayo beans check”

-“Who cares about beating the game‽ I’m a goose.”

-“You can’t make contact lenses out of cranberries”

-“cannabalism is for beans”

-“You know the party is lit when the epileptic kid starts doing the worm”

-“Imagine getting stabbed to the beastie boys”

-“I CANT TORTILLA MY CHOCOLATE MILK”

-“Pure drip”

-“The All Mighty King Tuggle Wuggle the Original... The 5th”

-“It’s a drink.” “Coal?” “I’m sorry who the heck is drinking coal??” “It’s heroin.”

-“Is climate change good or bad?”

-“I’ve had to keep her from stealing my toes for so long”

-“Apples are delicious, babies are not.”

-“It’s like I’m exfoliating my knuckle”

-“We are literally just birds.”

-“I’m slowly transitioning to emo. Today I’m wearing navy blue, tomorrow it will be black.”

-“Omg Aimee why are you such a try hard” “Oh my god Ava why are you orange?”

-“Wait what the fuck does crashing a funeral have to do with driving?”

-“Why are blonde people driving???”

-“That house looks like stephen king” “its super thicc?”

-“If you don’t do your homework, they are legally allowed to steal your cells”

-“Why would digging up graves be a problem we have to cover during a spa day??”

-“I would commit neck rape”

-“he looked at me and I looked at him and I was like ‘genocide’”

-“like Klaus, from Klaus”

-“SANKADANKA”

-“facism is also gender neutral”

-“I mean we all knew that the birds just wanted the body to be gone!”

JUNIOR

-“you know what they say in chemistry”

-“I got it from bed bath and behind you”

-“A two line poem. I see a frog. My heart: 💕❤️💓💗💕”

-“who needs a straw when you can suck it out the hole?”

-“I wish I could get neutered”

-“eggs are so well named”

-“You’re not a fandon? We don’t standon.”

-“If you’re horny just walk it off”

-“potatoes and molasses, there is inequality between the classes!”

-“save the tiddies”

-“I think I could explain socialism” “okay do it” *doesnt do it*

-“what part of no interruptions does Trump not get?” “The english part”

-“my knees how they crackle like rice crispies”

-“the planet is dying you fucking walnut”

-“do you think I’d be able to avoid conversion therapy?” ”no you look dumb as shit have fun at camp.”

-“the US military uses 738 billion dollars per year, and we can’t dunk the moon into the pacific ocean? Where are our priorities? Disgusting.”

-“I hope he dies on my birthday”

-“the doctor’s sewing you up and you’re like ‘harder daddy’ and they just leave you to bleed out on the floor.”

-“I don’t know what your parents do for a living” “I’d have to kill you if you found out” “oh he’s a conversion therapist?”

-“Peaning, pregnancy, protection.”

-“Being railed and math are two totally different things”

-“Aren’t all white people just german strokes?“

-“the pickles are tasty tonight, don’t you think?”

-"Gay people have feelings too! I mean those feelings aren't valid, but they have them!"

-“Grapefruit is the Wild Kratts of roblox”

-“My lungs are rejecting christianity”

-“Lettuce cereal”

-“get zooted”

-“why are they doin that to my boi Eric Snowblower???” “... do you mean Elric Stormbringer??” “Yes OMG hi futon”

-“Milk towel (sent with gentle effect)“

-“nose haemorrhoids”

-“my favourite colour is bitches”

-“THE LESBIAN FISH WHATS HER NAME”

-“You’ll have time to pull moose daddy”

-“The more you beat it the bigger it gets”

-“Were you wa today??”

-“oh uh slaves are now horses”

-“tarnsgender is a lifestyle”

-“not me misgendering my dishwasher”

-“Kiss! Kiss Kiss!”

-“its a regular human but you can open it up and take a shit inside of it” “like a kangaroo”

-“kiss kill marry, good piss boy, eric snowblower, michael”

-“if you don’t wanna strike the set, strike yourself.”

-“did you listen to waterparks in middle school or have you had sex?”

-“he said his pullout game is strong and he’s only used a condom six times” “tell him he needs the practice”

-“its a didney movie”

-“I already have a dick so I’m good with the foot sucking, thanks!”

-“I don’t misgender you cause you changed your pronouns I just misgender you cause you have pronouns”

-“made a joke and nobody laughed”

-“You’re a socialist gray shut up”

-“dont straddle my dog shes a child!”

-“chloe, kim, kendall, kourtney,,, the genders”

-“which constellation looks most like a dick”

-“I’m being intimate with my pudding. Only my pudding loves me.” “Yeah but it feels a little violated”

-“vending machine, easy bake oven, and ramen are the four food groups?”

-“mom I found your tinder”

-“doesnt this baby look like it would grow up to be hitler?”

-“anti smack”

-“I said no farting”

-“I’m at the point in this trip where I want to make out a little with every dog I see.”

-“I’m worried about your mom right now” “I’m worried about the dogs”

-“I’m going to start streaming” “awesome I’ll watch you! I’ll download Tinder”

-“jesus is coming are you clenching?” “Did you mean swallowing???”

-“Today when I said I had an image to show you and you came to look at my phone I wasn’t on Instagram yet and I was worried you were going to see that my last google search was what is a craisin”

-“My username is deep_seated_fear_of_geese”

-“Savour the flavour, uncle”

-“potential energy this, kinetic energy that, when will anyone start paying attention to the most important energy. dumb bitch energy”

-“Happy easter i guess i don’t know why the heck jesus likes eggs so much” “Jesus has an egg obsession” “And he has a bunny fursona””

-“Cause I’m kinky for color coding”

-“I’m going to name my child Brad. With a silent gh. Braghd”

-“Headcanon that Prince Philip died because he saw unsolicited feet pics“

-“I kin prince philip”

-“theres three genders: kailer, gay tyler, and regular tyler”

-“I swear to god they spent half of their budget making those titans asses so scrumptious”

-“Everything is terrible, can’t magnum dong, repressing my emotions”

-“Master has given dobby plan b. Dobby no longer needs the hanger”

-“I want someone to be just as obsessed with me as my social worker is”

-“You wanted to end the conversation so you decided to be homophobic.”

-“It is commonly thought that there are two types of people in this world, communists and pessimists.”

-“Glass half full glass half empty everyone shares the glass”

-“I thought it was about to be something sexual about slushees and I was like: 😃?“

-“Piss on, I know how to have sex.”

-“Sarah we’re making milf jokes wake up”

-“Its like im having a panic attack but I cant stop making kink jokes”

-“good old fashioned jesus?” “I said gay sex”

-“the straggot and the slurs”

-“grandpa has had way too much time without his meds”

-“You’re gonna find ur special someone bro ❤️ or someone to raw you idk what you’re into”

-“Do you wanna represent conversion therapy?”

-“Don’t punch me! I’ll get a boner”

-“I’m known to frequent elementary schools at night”

-“ever since I found out there were ants in baked beans” “WHY ARE THEY THERE? JUST BAKE THE BEANS!”

-"aaron burr shot hamilton which is kinda kinky and im not into that" "i guess he forgot to give him his safe word then huh"

-“we can’t make these jokes tomorrow people will think we’re fucking crazy” “nah man people will just think we’re FUCKING”

-“this 14 year old just looked me straight in the eyes and said drill me daddy-o”

-“they piss on you when they’re comfortable with you. Thats how it works”

-“are penguins fish or mammals?”

-“car washes are traumatising”

-“it’s okay gray has a 22 year old sugar daddy”

-“I get vored easily and yeehaw”

-“You get really stinky when jade honks for bill”

-“Jade needs a shit sleeve when she honks for bill can we go dunky now”

-“not the llama,,, the liQuid”

-“I’m allergic to jesus”

-“if you cant see stuff in your head how come you can vacuum?”

-“dont be a whore drink instead”

-“pain is temporary, existence is temporary, we’re all temporary”

-“I did not know veggie tales was religious”

-“you’re a sussy baka yes sorry now can we watch the video”

-“I assumed everyone in tech is gray”

-“skyrim wasn’t bad I just wanted fussy”

-“im not gonna get a shrodinger kink”

-“those crocs are bitchin”

-“you seem so put together” “it’s just the shoes”

-“capitalism is my sugar daddy”

-“when aang is riding someone do you think he says yip yip

-“Capitalism breeds innovation? How bout you breed this bussy”

Senior

-“Ollie: Can Jewish people eat the Lorax?

Jillian: Yeah. He is canonically a Nazi you know

Ollie: …Are you implying that nazis are kosher?

Jillian: Yeah how do you think we won the war dumbass”

-“I wanna get manhandled”

-“chryssy is SO thicc. Thats why benson loves her.”

-“are we still meeting autism?”

-“so what im hearing is you stole my prostate??”

-"Benson doesnt have a liver? What about her alcoholism problems!”

-“do [squirrels] have beaks or are they flat?”

-“ I feel like I’d fall into a pond.”

-“I didn’t come”

-“Cis piss”

-“YOU GRABBED HIS JICK?”

-“Everytime I come out as ace people send me all their ace stuff” “omg thats what I do for my italian friends”

-“I wanna be someones thyroid problem”

-“Yeah you could go to bobby about your skin cancer”

-“I feel really pregnant right now”

-“stomachs love diluted slim jims”

-“benson is a milf”

-“aj just gave birth to me” “how?” “teamwork”

-“the universe is nothing but a collection of corpses”

-“tight shaggy”

-“the moonwalking bear will come back to haunt you”

-“You forgot your jizz in the shop”

-“Please be a monster fucker”

-“Wipe the milk moustache off your face because I can’t talk to you”

-“the moonwalking bear will come back to haunt you”

-“You forgot your jizz in the shop”

-“Please be a monster fucker”

-“Wipe the milk mustache off your face because I can’t talk to you”

-“Mr. Hands is my safe-word”

Freshman pt 2

-“nah this isn’t true love this is smash or pass man”

-“the more swords the more smash”

-“virgin??? Like VIRGINIA??”

-“He’s really going ham on him”

[capsensislagamoprh]

Otabek sat in the room he shared with Yuri, headphones on, tracks running over his laptop in multiple successions as he bent the beats to flow with each other. Lead ins, drops, overlays, tone shifts - so many changes needed to be done without ruining the integrity of the pieces. His focus was laser sharp, his world reduced to a single fourteen inch screen for hours at a time. He remembered to eat because Yuri brought him things. He remembered biological needs because his body wouldn't let him forget. Aside from running with Yuuri in the early morning (for him, end of the night for Yuuri) he gave himself thirty minutes for grooming, and two one hour breaks to keep his sanity. At precicely ten every night for the last week Yuri would walk in, take his laptop away, and plop down with a litany of complaints from people he'd gleefully told off for 'piss poor taste' and knowing 'fuck all' about track mixing. The exception was Leo, who he seemed to give some credit to after the older man had agreed with his take on the importance of shifting dissonance within the contemporary field. Or, as Yuri had originally said, "Your old people music is going to kill the fucking vibe. Do better."

Christophe promptly drafted Leo into the 'complaint department', which was fine with Yuri.  He wanted someone else to take the heat after he'd been particularly volatile about the Titanic theme song not being right for the wedding or the dance floor. Fortunately Leo had far more tact, pointing out themes and timing, suggesting other options that would fit the same orchestrated grandeur without bringing to mind the death of several hundred in an unforgiving, icy ocean. Yuri almost broke his phone as the entirety of three Celine Dion CDs was dropped into the chat.

At the appointed hour Yuri tugged the laptop away from Otabek, who took a moment to reorient, finally focusing when he saw a cup of tea steaming next to him on the floor. Otabek removed the headphones and set them aside as Yuri dropped between his legs, pressing his back to the brunette’s chest. "Look at this shit," he said without preamble. Holding his phone out where Otabek could see it too as he scrolled through the text chat.

It was pinging wildly, different time zones throwing different songs into the list. "Yuuri is starting to pull his hair again. Victor is thrilled by the attention," he said while puffing blond locks off his eyes. "I'm straight up telling people ‘No’ when they make stupid choices, and Leo makes smart arguments when someone gets really pissy about it."

"He's not so bad, hum?"

Yuri glared up at his friend. "I never said he was. It's JJ who's an ass."

"Hmm," Otabek took a sip of tea. "You never quite told me why you're so mad at him."

"You mean aside from making fun of me and my fans, calling me princess, and being a whole bag of dicks?"

" A whole bag? Really? Seems like a lot."

Yuri rolled his eyes. "It's not like he ever goes out of his way to be nice to me. He just waltzes in, has everything handed to him when he doesn't deserve it, and then just fucks off to the ass end of nowhere to live his perfect little life like he didn't just fuck up everyone else’s."

"He worked hard to learn his skills, Yura."

"Fine. He can skate, kinda," Yuri grumbled reluctantly, "but he's not better than you. You should have metalled."

"Still not over it?"

"Never!"

Otabek chuckled, his breath feathering the blond's hair. "I can't win everything, Yura."

"Obviously not. I'm going to win everything. You should win everything I am not competing in, and when we're competing against each other, you should come in second."

"Is that how it is?"

"Yes. That is how it is."

"So matter of fact."

"I know when I'm right." Yuri made a grabby hand motion in the direction of the cup, not taking his attention away from the messages. Otabek held the cup so Yuri could take a drink of the calming brew, the blur of scrolling suggestions faster than he could keep up with.

"Chris wants to know if you can squeeze out an after party mix. I told him I'd ask, but no promises. You're overworked as it is."

"Umm," Otabek agreed. "Maybe. Depends on how many more changes Yuuri and Victor make. They seem to adjust their song selection often. I did not know they were so indecisive."

"Nah. I think it's because Katsudon doesn't want to piss off anyone and baldy is distracted by shiny things."

"Thank you for dealing with the-" a dark hand waved in the general direction of the phone.

"No problem. I don't get a chance to really let loose on someone with sanction that often."

"You've had sanctions to tell someone they,” Otabek peered at the screen, "have the musical taste of a desiccated mastodon's ... pile?"

"Barely digested shit pile. Yes. It's good, yeah?"

"It paints a picture," Otabek admitted. "When did you get sanctions for language like that?"

Yuri stepsided the question with a very neatly placed, "Anyway." Otabek chuckled, thunking the blond head with his chin. The laptop made a pre-programed grinding nose signaling the current file had finished saving. "That is so disturbing."

"It lets me know what's going on."

"Sounds like it's trying to sand its own model numbers off."

"Maybe."

Yuri sat up, tossing his phone to the second futon mat, reaching for the laptop. "Movie time!"

Otabeck gathered up the pillows and spare blanket, propping himself against the wall. As Yuri slid back, pulling himself into his preferred lounging position, he looked through the options, the familiar sensation of Otabek tucking a blanket around them letting him relax. "Something scary?"

"If you like."

"Okay. How about Viy?"

"Think you can make it through this time?"

"Fuck you. I can make it through anything."

"Of course you can, Yura. Your will power is very strong and you are very brave."

"And don't you forget it!"

part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6, part 7

[seek-happiness]

i truthfully don't know if you're ever going to read this, but here is my message in the bottle and im casting into the ocean once again. Its been a long time now since we spoke, and everyday I think about what my life is without you. Is it alot? is it nothing? is it everything? I honestly dont have a single fucking clue.. All of this, fucking hurts so fucking much. I remember looking into your eyes and feeling like there are no other eyes in this world I would rather look into and get lost inside for the remainder of my life, and I just gave it up. I decided to be something im not and I made a decision, i decided to be something you told me i am not, and i made a fucking decision. Truth be told, this was not the biggest mistake i've ever made in my life (maybe it will be, who knows) the biggest mistake was not finding the maturity to grow past the hurt that made me who I am today, and you paid the price for it. As hard as it is, I will never forgive myself for this, but i have to, not for me, but atleast for you.. You will never look at me the same way, and I have to tell myself that thats okay. You will never realise what you have until it's gone, and its just a bullshit pain im experiencing all over again, Such stupid anguish i put myself through, when only now I realise this was something to fucking die for. and I simply did. I simply lost everything about who I am, cos i could never escape the pain I will always put you through. So yeah, im not a man, but i made a decision like one. It was the hardest decision i've ever made, and ever will make. but as im typing this shit, its a low-key cry for help, another pathetic attempt for you to hear me, and reach out, one last call out into the dark until the person I know dissapears forever, and everything becomes a memory and will eventually fade away. Don't let me die. A voice inside me constantly speaks to me, and is hoping you will hear me. But i know its all folly, how many times do i need to say that till I become a real man. I'm just walking around like a corpse, pretending shit makes me happy when it doesnt, when it was always you, and i always questioned the possibility of what it would be like if we fixed things, would it all be possible? yes it would. thats what my dumbass heart says to me. I cant forgive myself for wasting more of your time.. was it all just a waste, i suppose if your supposed to move on, thats your only option. Theres only 2 kinds of people I can choose to be. I clearly dont want to be either. Pray for me to find the strength

[000life-is-meaningless000]

Everything will power everything will type of design power is fucking stupid I can prove it to you.

Warning : Long as Fuck, RANT ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !

Super speed although Amazing, Rush,

Being able to go anywhere at once you're being multiple places at once because you're so fucking fast it's really fucking stupid, there's really no goddamn point being able to be everywhere at once cuz if everything is meaningless and everything is worthless being able to do all that work is also pointless

Super Strength - being able to pick anything up everything up and be able to care anything to help people out of stupid because in the long run time makes all things meaningless

All knowing, over 99% of information yet not probably a hundred but I could be wrong about that it's absolute fucking trivia

No knowledge actually had any real importance because he only knowledge you really need to know that all is Meaningless

The only knowledge you also want to know is how to end everything and delete everything everything is meaningless Everything is purposeless Everything is spirituality list and all your contributation

In the long run and the short run don't fucking matter

Life is not special your life is not special no life is special, I know how they say that we all give off ebbs and ripples and our existence but all abs and ripples come to an end and eventually the water is still you'll never know if anything ever happened there, even the greatest splash in existence will eventually become water and no proof of History will exist if anything ever happening.

The ocean in many ways resembles the power of time like I explained about the ebb and ripple part but also many things travel to the very bottom of the ocean and ocean is so deep I sometimes wonder the ocean could possibly be deeper than Space.

Although an rational thought I sometimes Wonder, . . .

People say they have elemental divine power to be great

I beg to differ, so you have the power of wind and lightning big warp you're going to zap something and you're going to blast something with wind

People say having the power of fire be great but eventually that's going to grow old very fucking quick and you're going to get extremely fucking bored burning shit when you are basically a walking talking lighter

People say having a bond of water is great well you're always going to be fucking wet so whatever you do you better not grab any electronic

On top of the fucking faculty having Divine elemental power the water you can find manipulate water control water make water dance without on the element water hunting deep spillage if I melt into fucking water but then somebody can drink you piss you out fucking kill you

he'll let you're on fire all the goddamn time then you basically fucking can't walk through a fourth I start a forest fire I remember where the fuck you go they just burning shit you may have a deep Spirit connection to Fire and have all the Divine magical bullshit about fire and all this deep fucking shit but deep down God Damn side it fucking matter !

Lastly is the power of Earth so what you it's basically super strange all over again with super armor your element Earth you have the energy Earth you feel the essence of Earth if you always got them things of element Earth so what do you make plans grow over a God damn well who gives a fuck about some fucking vegetative art

I know they all admit their own energy in their own stupid shit from the element Earth, who Give's a flying fuck !

You can probably cause earthquakes and shape the Earth however the fuck you got them want you can do other fuck you want with The Power of, The earth become Earth we bonded with Earth he's shot in the head with a tank Cannon but it won't matter you cuz you come back from me for your spirit can make a new body from the earth you can make yourself out of metal if you put up enough or if you can be a walk and talk in a little fucking Mountain

SO ! WHAT ! ! !

Before Element's, Can go fuck themselves then you have the two Divine powers of light and dark they both can go fuck themselves right from the goddamn Creator himself

😡

You want to be the ultimate fucking demon like fucking arrivas go ahead his existence is meaningless as well Erebus is also known as Amatsu-Mikaboshi The God of Chaos ! ! !

His Existence is fucking meanings and so is yours you want to be the God of Light

Give my main a pure positive energy and shine all fucking directions like a fucking fagot

Go to fucking head be the brightest thing around all the positive energies and spiritual lighting you realize that the light in the Darkness, both fucking suck and they both can go fuck themselves

Dark power get old eventually dark Powers will get boring Darkness will get on your fucking nerves so are the goddamn light

😡

. . .

Power is a Burden

. . .

it's not fun

. . .

To make matters even worse becoming a deity is not a good thing, first off the Divine family is full of a bunch of egotistical assholes

God has the biggest ego and fucking existence, LITERALLY ! ! ! ! !

You will find a whole host of fucking a whole plethora of deities who are completely insane with ego

They Make the most egotistical narcissist look humble

On top of the Fact, Deities fucking aliens

. . .

Lastly even though the deities are ethereal who can become incarnated you also have to know that the soul of a deity is not immortal unlike that of a mortal Soul which is immortal.

I know that's surprising cuz most people think that deities go on forever when really their souls actually have a clock on them eventually all deities succumb, to second death.

Also known as death of a Consciousness or Death of the Soul

There's something nobody knows

. . . . .

That's something all deities never let anybody ever fucking know

. . .

Every single fucking divine power in existence just causes more fucking problems nothing is special in life nothing is Great ! !

God is the Enemy & so is Satan & Lucifer & buffing that builds above and all demons all angels are the enemy all demons are the Enemy God is the enemy all deities are the Enemy !

The greatest thing you can ever do in your existence is die life is fucking meaningless being a spirit is the greatest fucking thing in existence it requires nothing for everything

All the greatest things are on the other side all spirituality comes from the other side everything is great on the other side the fact that this physical existence exists is a middle finger from God

We are trapped and imprisoned in these physical existences and that's why we are all necromanced into life

Necromancy means raising the dead or forcing the dead to live against their own free will that's necromancy

So all Spirits are necromance one way or another of one reason or another against their own free will to live life they don't want to live and their memories get severely impacted and amnesia is one of the curses or one of the damages upon them any Souls cuz it's kind of like when you wake up from it when you sleep after you Astro project cuz there's no such thing as a dream

You forget a lot of shit you experience when you were a ghost same thing when you get incarnate you forget a lot of things when you were a ghost before you were born you can remember a lot of stuff from your old life but you have great difficulty remembering anything from the spirit Realm

Or everything is not corporeal plane is this is which is also the spirit Realm !

But especially the great big black void that holds everything that the ethereal

When I say hold, I don't mean trap.

. . .

When you are alive you have a whole host of responsibilities that you shouldn't have to fucking do

You have to take care of your body which is a monumental task in its own right you have to constantly rest your body and remove your spirit from your body which is called sleep you need to rest your spirit and you need to rest your body that's why you feel so energized when you wake up the spirit was recharged and so was the body got a moment to rest

Need to constantly eat and take care of yourself and you have to shit every now and then I'm pissed and drink and constantly fucking breathe

Being alive is nothing but fucking responsibilities being alive like being in prison is nothing but a whole slew of responsibility it's unlimited responsibility until that one day you no longer have any more fucking chores to do and responsibility and hoops that jump through and then everybody cries that you're free out of the prison called life everyone's crying that you're finally fucking dead everyone's crying sobbing that you get to be free and they have to still suffer in this fucking Meaningless, Miserable Fucking Existence ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !

So !

God is the enemy, all deities are the enemy, all demons are the enemy, all angels are the enemy !

. . . . . . .

And, Atheist are fucking Idiot's !

. . . . . . .