#more vagueblogging about the ex

[intrepidhyena]

Everything must move on

I guess maybe its time.

I just never know what to put first.

We would have fought any storm for you. Crossed any ocean (you promised us we would).

Theyd give almost anything To hear you laugh again and be the reason for it - to see you Really smile. To hear you talk about Soulmates.

I hope we never see you again.

I hope we do, so I can tell you all the things that start with Fuck You

But that would make us the person you were afraid we were and I dont want to prove your shitty accusations right.

They want you to know theyre sorry for all the things they did that hurt you - for the days their wounds bled claws and vitriol and snide remarks.

But we were the medic, right? We werent SUPPOSED to bleed. It Must have been our Fault. Right?

(It wasnt our fault).

(It shouldnt have taken 2 years of therapy to beleive that).

FUCK YOU.

I want You to know how sorry You should be for everything you put them through. I want you to remember every well intentioned lie, every promise you never kept, every hypocritical holier-than-thou speech you gave them - and i hope you KNOW you were the very thing you purport to hate.

i want you to know what You did.

You can take your ‘ love ’ and shove it up your ass. Because youre the reason they will Never trust anyone like that ever again.

Everything we ever let go of had claw marks in it. We dont like giving up. (If giving up was an option we wouldnt be here). (So its not an option, there is no other choice). The trick is - dont hold onto anyone.

They will never believe that people Mean their promises. They will always be expecting the rug pull. The someone-better. The slowly yawning distance only bridged by your denial.

That part's just Sad.

Of course they stopped talking to you - you made it clear you werent listening. Everyone elses stories were the truth and they were a Liar and you forgave your Favorite but you never let us forget our mistakes.

You expected us to forgive Yours. But you Stood behind your Favorite when They decided how the world should be. Made to order for them because fuck trying to understand each other, right?

I still cant fucking beleive you did the same thing to us that you Villanized us for not stopping from happening to you.

Makes me want to laugh like something with too many teeth, painted in black and red.

Getting away from you was the best thing we've ever done. We maybe never would have met each other if it hadnt happened that way. Its some stupid irony That we are the best version of us we've ever been and we are so many things you hate. I hope youre dissapointed in us. I hope one day You walk past us on the street and you feel your soul clawing towards theirs but you dont recognize us.

I hope one day we forget you and you stop smiling in our nightmares. I hope one day they stop seeing your ghost everywhere.

Ive started burning your mail. Change your fucking address.

[soath]

Your new money analogy falls apart when that privilege is not wanting to be murdered.

oh, sometimes getting vagueblogged at brings the strangers into your inbox. i’ll assume this isn’t actually the complainer-direct, as i do have a lot of respect for them. now, as for my facetious metaphor—

i’m incredibly sympathetic to the gods not wanting to die! no one wants to die! existential threats, and extending that, existential threats to your siblings? that’s basically the most sympathetic there is. i would also probably kill for my little sister even if she was terrible; that’s the awful truth of family.

but the matron of ravens is intentionally removed from this motif very early on. she separates herself from the “family drama” and her calculus is very different than the rest of the gods. it’s not just about survival for her, it’s about securing what she’s worked for. laura bailey doesn’t waste lines and when the raven queen describes wanting to experience “the infinite” i think you’re meant to go Hey Wait. she’s ambitious! this isn’t just about existing for her, it’s about a power she has fucking put in the effort to obtain.

i was being silly when i used new money because I’m silly about everything—as a rule my posts are mostly for the laff— but joking analogies of that vein did not start or end with me. aabria iyengar speaking ex-cathedra as ms. coramar-seelie described the matron as a “class traitor”. what does it mean to have been a person and then throw in with the gods?

i do think there is much more than pure ambition to the matron’s actions—her status as a goddess of fate, someone who sees the strings tying it all together is clearly very important in any analysis of her—but the ambition is there. laura bailey made the executive choice to highlight her condescension, her need to continue to experience not just life but godhood rather than focusing on pure self-preservation. it doesn’t make her unsympathetic, in fact it’s one of the more fascinating things about her. but it does open her up for some jokes! i’m sorry they’ve caused such controversy. please enjoy this image of the raven queen dressed up like the monopoly man.

[greyias]

A while back, I signed up for the mailing list of this one recipe website mostly for little recipes to be delivered into my inbox. And over the past few months, instead of recipes being delivered to my inbox, I'm getting absolutely unhinged food blogging world drama. And I keep meaning to post about it, because as a true outsider to whatever the hell this is, it's absolutely bonkers that I'm witnessing this slow moving trainwreck, but then I get distracted and forget to post.

But some of the highlights include:

she (food blogger) is currently in the middle of some sort of litigation with someone she partnered with to make some food product that hit store shelves?

the emails started as really bizarre vagueblogging that to someone uninitiated in whatever the fuck is going on, sounds completely unhinged

the food blog's author is like really into Harry Potter (yes in 2023 😬). Like whatever you're thinking, it's more than that

this is only relevant because every time she talks about this ex-business partner, she makes extensive HP analogies, references, and memes. Yes the ex-business partner is somehow every single HP antagonist, sometimes a dementor, depending on the week

Sometimes the e-mail subjects actually sound like it has to do with food (today's was "overproofed sourdough"), to the utterly baffling (I no longer want to be (just) your "almond mom")

Usually once per e-mail she has a random aside of "dear reader you must be confused" (which yes), but then goes to say something that only leaves me with more questions

I think this actually started like late last year when the ex-business partner somehow got ahold of this food blogger's mailing list, because I have this vague memory of getting some WTF e-mail regarding this food business from the other person and be like "Who the hell is this? Report spam" and moved on with my day?

I have not unsubscribed, because even though it's largely incomprehensible and I have no idea what's happening, I still reach for an imaginary popcorn bucket to read the latest inscrutable text. And I know all of the above was incomprehensible, but I wanted to share just a small slice of the confusion gracing my inbox every few weeks.

[tropylium]

…actually I don't think it's "bare reblogs" that's an issue, it's "posts that are asserted and do not involve discussion". already people who will sometimes reblog discussion chains read as more trustworthy; and then people who write reams of personal posts but never post public responses to what has been said to them also have a similar air of unpleasant uncommunicativeness; even if I were to agree with what they say!

the latter type of people usually will put out at least indirect vagueblogged responses though; so still the most annoying experience of trying to interact on social media are the people who will reblog discourse™ seemingly from a consistent viewpoint, but seem to make no effort themselves to understand or stand behind it, almost as if it was being posted "just in case". I've tried engaging with some ex-mutuals doing this in the past and it's infuriating to get nothing else than something like "oh I don't agree with most of it actually but I think it's coming from a good place". pure tool behavior

and there are of course many ways to get burnt about discourse, or to have high base-level humility about it, that would result in not wanting to push your own views, that's not a problem per se; but still I'd expect that to lead people to simply engage less, make their own posts instead of posting them in direct response, or simply not engage with a topic if they don't like discussion; not to pretend that constantly reblogging some given topic is "not engaging"

there is even a well-known special case of this, viz. the principle "don't constantly put bigotry on people's dashes just to argue with it"; but the general version seems to elude common recognition

properties of a good tumblog as I like them

minimum 50% aesthetics

of which maximum 50% pictures / videos of humans

nonzero % music

more sourced content than reposts

at least some content tagged for reference

maximum 30% text posts

of which maximum 50% bare reblogs (tag commentary counts as not bare)

maximum 1% posts that order you to do anything

absolutely no posts telling who can / cannot / should / must engage with them

[holdharmonysacred]

Hypothesis to test: People coming up with increasingly buck wild Moral reasons to dislike a character is the fandom discourse equivalent of people lying about having food allergies so that people shut the fuck up about them not liking a given food.

[cobra-creampuff]

Why is there a Second Act Breakup?

A little (long?) while ago I saw a post by somebody who said they weren't typically a romance fan but had been reading a lot of romance lately because it was so readily available to them. They said they mostly liked it, but they couldn't understand the point of the ever-present Second Act Breakup and were frustrated by it.

Listen. I know it was rhetorical. So that's why I'm answering that question generally rather than directly. Not to vagueblog lmao but. Here are some reasons the Second Act Breakup is utilized in romance.

Strengthening the Characters Individually

Contrary to the most obvious assumption, a romance book is not actually only about the relationship. That's the story, sure, but it's only interesting because of the characters - so the characters are what the book is really about.

The first act of a romance is used to put the characters together and begin building the relationship. In the second act, we want character development. That is, not just character growth (i.e. change, be it positive or negative) but exploring character depth.

When the characters are separated - by a breakup, distance, whatever else - that gives us more room in the narrative to expand them.

A second act breakup also lets us show that the characters can still be individuals even when the focus of the story is their relationship.

For example, in Marry Me (a movie not a book, but they generally follow the same genre conventions) part of the reason for the second act breakup is that Kat is nominated for her first music award for a song she wrote and must perform with her ex. This conflict allows for Kat to continue to have priorities in her life other than her love interest, here her career and personal accomplishments.

For another example, in Beauty And The Beast Belle and Adam have to break up so that Belle can choose Adam. Even though they've already gotten to know each other as equals, no longer captor and captive, and have demonstrably fallen in love Belle still has to leave and come back to show her autonomy as a character and that her feelings for Adam are true. It also keeps her character consistent with regards to romance not being her highest priority, her strong relationship with her father, and her bravery and self-sufficience.

Switching Character Focus

Often, the first act of a romance focuses on the hero and what makes this relationship worth writing about in their life. At the second act breakup, we have a clear plot-relevant reason to switch to the love interest. It's now the other character's problems' turn.

This is most obvious in romances where a main source of conflict stems from the exes. Act one would be conflict from the hero's ex, and then act two is about the love interest's ex. But it can be anything!

To use Marry Me as an example again (I just saw it, so it's fresh on the brain), in act one the main character conflict is Kat's history of being wronged by her partners and her recent and explosive breakup. In act two, the focus is on Charlie's insecurity and fear of heartbreak. Kat's conflict with being in love with Charlie has been surmounted, and now it's time to deal with Charlie's conflict with being in love with Kat.

The second act breakup also makes room for side characters to take bigger roles, or to have their own relationships.

Switching from External to Internal Conflict (or Vice Versa)

Much the same as the character focus switch, the second act breakup provides a way to change focus from an external conflict to an internal conflict, or vice versa.

Say act one is about the hero thinking the love interest is out of their league, but there is also the conflict that the love interest's family disapproves of the match. Trying to explore both of those conflicts to their fullest potential concurrently will be very muddled and make for an unpleasantly complicated read. A second act breakup provides a way to focus on one, and then switch to the other.

In Marry Me this switch is from the external act one conflict that Kat's and Charlie's lifestyles clash and they have to find a way to coexist and relate to each other smoothly, to the internal act two conflict that Charlie thinks he is not glamorous enough for Kat.

A Complete Arc for the Antagonist

As previously said, a romance is not just about the main relationship. The other characters and the conflict(s) keeping the relationship apart in the first place all need to find satisfying conclusions. Especially in a romance with a clear villain, if the story ended right when the main characters got together that would leave the rest of the plot unresolved.

The Shape Of Water doesn't really have a second act breakup, but it does have distinct act one vs act two conflicts with the act two conflict being to complete the villain's storyline, so I'm going to use it for my example of this anyway.

In act one, the primary conflict is that Elisa and Amphibian Man are different species. In order to fall in love, they have to overcome a language barrier, the taboo of an interspecies relationship, and later the potential of incompatible anatomy. Those conflicts are, narratively speaking, solved in the (literal) consummation of their relationship. Technically, the conflict of his captivity is already solved as well!

But it wouldn't be very satisfying if the story ended there, even though they are happily together. We need Shannon to come between Elisa and Amphibian Man again so that he can be definitively defeated.

Occam's Razor

Last, but not least, the simplest - and most important - answer.

Why is the second act breakup a romance genre convention? Because romance fans like it.

If you're not a romance fan and you don't "get" it, well that's because you're not a romance fan and you don't get it. It has nothing to do with the value or function of the plot device itself and everything to do with your personal taste!

[sydmarch]

ok this is all ancient history considering i haven’t talked to my ex in like a year bcus fuck that guy but something reminded me of this one incident and got me pissed all over again on behalf of my past self so excuse me while i go off a bit

literally he just never respected anything about any of my identities like it’s been months since i uninstalled tinder but seeing his profile back then got me SO fucking annoyed that his cishet ass has the gall to put “lgbtq” as one of his primary interests when he deadnamed me regularly for MONTHS after i told him what i wanted to be called. & i was totally all like oh well he’s forgetful & it takes getting used to and we don’t see each other irl often bcus of the pandemic so i get it, until he was showing me something in our thread of texts on his phone & i saw that he after MONTHS he had never updated my name so i was like wtf!? you never edited that? we text every day you look at this shit all the time no wonder you can’t fucking remember. & he was like oh you want me to change it? like YES i want you to change it you fucking stupid brain dead moron are you joking?? not too long after that i had a dream where he called me my deadname & i knocked him to the ground and started kicking the shit out of him while yelling that’s not my name you’re so fucking stupid. why did i not just dump him after having a dream like that lmfao!!! but that’s not even the worst of it man what REALLY got to me.. so it took me literal YEARS of being like “hm mayhaps you have autism based on xyz, you should do some research” but being in too much denial to face it before i finally decided to do some digging, realized everything made sense & then had like an emotional breakdown over it bcus i had internalized so much ableism. and then ages after that before i felt like i could even consider telling anyone about it bcus i was convinced no one would love me if they knew something was ‘wrong’ with me lol but eventually i decided i needed to tell him bcus we would both do harmless but annoying shit due to being nd sometimes yknow, but where i would try to be understanding bcus i knew he had a really hard time w his adhd a lot of the time he just wouldn’t take me seriously or would joke abt things i did that i’d told him i didn’t appreciate him joking abt etc so i was like well maybe if he knew then the understanding would go both ways but even tho he KNEW how much being vulnerable doesn’t come easily to me when i told him the only vibe he gave off was that he didn’t really believe me & kept trying to talk me into getting professionally diagnosed even tho i listed off a dozen reasons why i absolutely am not interested in that. but that’s not even the part that pissed me off more than anything!!! bcus a few months after that we were hanging out at my place & he started telling me about the horribly annoying producer he’d had to work with the day before & said he was “autistic i guess or like definitely had something wrong w him socially” & went on to rant abt how this guy was so annoying & incompetent including lines like “i’m here to do my job, not to teach special ed” & all this shit i literally didn’t know what to say i couldn’t believe what i was hearing i just sat there quietly like hmm ok then & came on here to vagueblog abt seething with rage so all night the vibe was off & a few hours later i finally felt like i could bring it up so i was like hey, what you were saying before about the producer really wasn’t cool. & this dude just dug his own grave even deeper w an apology worse than any youtuber the first thing he says is “yeah i realized as soon as i was done talking that i messed up & i could tell you’ve been mad all night” HELLO?? ok then why didn’t you apologize immediately?? & THEN after we’ve been arguing for a bit he says “yknow i don’t even know if he has autism i just used that as a dig at him” & i’m like you used THAT as a DIG while talking to ME??? most brain dead man on earth. & that still isn’t even why we broke up i thought “maybe he’ll learn from this” lmao it took finding out he had been keeping a major secret & lying to me for A YEAR for me to finally cut him loose!! jesus christ i know i was in my depressed and suicidal era back then but why did i put up with any of this shit. anyway! glad to be rid of him

[peace-coast-island]

Diary of a Junebug

A visit to Coral Beach

What a fun time at the beach! Coral Beach is such a lovely place - from the clear blue waters and colorful mosaics scattered throughout the boardwalk, it's one of those places ideal for vacationing based on appearance alone. No photoshopping necessary when it comes to taking pictures here!

I'm surprised that I haven't visited the beach sooner since it's about an hour away from the camp. In fact, there's still so many places nearby that I haven't been to yet. The trip was kinda a spur of the moment kind of thing Pancetti, Audie, Snooty, Lyman, and I planned at the last minute. By chance I ran into an old friend who's vacationing there too and now she's coming back with us.

So we spent a couple days at Coral Beach exploring the sights and enjoying the resort and then tomorrow we're heading back to the camp. Of course, I also spent the time catching up with Desi, who's been enjoying the seaside scenery.

Desi Rivera's an aspiring singer-songwriter who hopes to make it big one day. Right now though, she's jumping off the ladder and starting from scratch. It's a risky move, but I think it's a necessary one. Given her talent and ambition, I know that Desi will come out stronger than ever.

I met Desi at summer camp years ago. Even though we only spent one summer together, we kept in touch for a while after that. The summer camp thing was something our parents made us do and to be honest it wasn't really our thing so they didn't push us when we told them that there wasn't going to be a next summer. The experience wasn't terrible - I did make a friend after all - but summer camp and I just didn't click at all. Now that I think about it, it's kinda interesting that as an adult I'm running a camp right now - though this and summer camp are totally different.

Since Desi lived in the town nearby we often ran into each other. As we got older contact became sporadic but we occasionally said hi to each other when our paths crossed. Then as adults we regained contact on social media and have been keeping up with each other since then. Desi often posts covers and original songs, which is how she got her online following. She could've easily made it big if it weren't for certain people.

Desi's journey as a singer-songwriter is sure to become an interesting one. Ever since she could talk, Desi knew she wanted to be a singer. She always had a nice voice, one that became more refined as she got older. Talented songwriter too, with an honest and poetic way with words. And it's a damn shame that her talent has been consistently overshadowed and sidelined for white mediocrity.

Yup, I said it - mediocrity. No disrespect to Meghan Tyler and Too Cool - I mean I can see their commercial appeal, but for the most part, their music is bland and forgettable. Music tastes aside, it is pretty impressive that Desi was in the same circles as people like Meghan and Joe of the Shayne Brothers.

Desi first met the two at a camp for aspiring musicians, the well known Camp Music. She was one of many talented nobodies who wanted a glimpse at stardom. Meghan Tyler is the daughter of pop star Ann Tyler, and it was her who ran the camp, the typical queen bee. I happened to cross paths with Meghan and her friends online (unrelated reasons) and they always gave me a vibe of a high school clique. I interacted with her indirectly a couple times but then actively avoided her when her friends stirred up drama. It's one thing to vagueblog about an ex-friend who screwed you over, it's another to ruin someone's reputation by claiming that they faked their trauma just because you had a petty falling out with them.

Then there's Joe Shayne, best known as the lead singer for the Shayne Brothers. He was amazed by Desi's voice and took an interest in her. The two started off kinda rough with Joe pushing his boundaries and Desi rightfully calling him out on his entitled behavior. The whole thing was kinda like a Cinderella story with Joe trying to figure out who was the singer he overheard while passing by while Desi tried too hard to impress him after realizing who he was. By the end of the summer, they began dating, becoming regulars at Camp Music for the next several years.

Despite what the others were saying, Desi and Joe were going strong for eight years. Desi was associated with the Shayne Brothers, which was a blessing and a curse. As much as she liked Joe and his brothers, she didn't want to be known solely because of her connection to them. They were going to get engaged until last year when Desi broke things off. According to her, things had been kinda rough for a while but they tried - probably a bit too hard, in her words - to stay together. They're still friends but Desi thinks in a year or two they'll drift away, which I think is what she wants.

On one hand it's kinda sad since they've been together for so long. And from what I've heard about Joe, being with Desi helped him a lot as before he met her he was on his way to becoming a short tempered almost has-been. Basically, she made him shape up and consider his future seriously. But aside from their love of music, Desi and Joe were from completely different worlds. In the years since they got together, they've grown into two different people. The two have spoken openly about their breakup and it seems like it's for the best. Sometimes things just don't work out in the end and that's okay.

As for Meghan, Desi always had a complicated relationship with her. Being the fish out of water, Desi tried to impress Meghan, even if it meant dumbing down herself to please Meghan's ego. There was always some sort of competition between them with Desi constantly feeling like she has to prove herself. While Meghan did help Desi out with her connections and fame, Desi never felt she earned her recognition, another reason why she wanted to start from the ground up.

For years Desi was part of Meghan's band, Too Cool. While Desi occasionally had some solos that charted, she and the other members were always overshadowed by Meghan. She considers the whole experience a mixed bag, one that started out exciting but in the end the bad outweighed the good.

A few months ago, not too long after leaving Too Cool, Desi did an insightful interview for a magazine where she spoke honestly about her ups and downs with the band as well as her breakup with Joe. I always felt that she deserved better than Too Cool, especially after reading the interview. From being constantly referred to as "the Mexican one" even though she stated multiple times she's Cuban, to being told to sing slightly off key in order to make Meghan sound better - no wonder she wanted out. It's an eye opening read on the ugly side of the music industry, particularly on how WOC artists are treated.

Following her departure, another member and longtime friend of Meghan, Maria Silva, also left the band for similar reasons. She too had also spoken out about the racism she experienced, having been constantly referred to as "the Chinese one" despite being Filipino. I don't know Maria too well but she comes across as genuine and I wish her well on her solo endeavors.

Right now Desi's taking a break on music, though not entirely. She's been writing songs and making demos but it'll be a while before she releases something. For now Desi wants to celebrate her freedom, starting with a long, well deserved vacation. Then once she's had enough rest and relaxation, she plans to jump back into the music scene with a bang, this time on her own terms with her calling all the shots.

Desi's been teasing me and the campers with what she has in store. In light of the racism she experienced with Too Cool, Desi wants to embrace her Cuban culture more than ever, starting with the music. Mainstream pop radio hits aren't her thing anymore, so she's going for a new sound inspired by her Cuban roots along with her usual pop rock style she's got going on since she began writing songs. She's also considering the idea of doing an album in Spanish, though that'll depend on a lot of factors.

It's nice to see her so excited and passionate about her music - that's one of the things I love about her! Like I said, Desi's got talent and ambition, and I know that she'll successfully make a name for herself without Meghan or Joe's shadows. I mean, the demos I've heard already sound a million times better than pretty much everything Too Cool has done - imagine how the final product will be! Once the album comes out, I'll be one of the first in line to buy and download a copy.

We met up with Desi by chance at the hotel, her room being upstairs. She's been traveling around, crossing off places where she always wanted to visit. So far she's crossed off four places from her list. After Coral Beach she was debating on Hero's Tunnel and Swan Park since they're right next to each other. Since the camp's along the way, I invited her over and hopefully during her time there, she can make up her mind on where to visit first. I know she'll enjoy the camp, especially Saltwater Shores since she's a beach gal.

Coral Beach is such a beautiful place. One of the first things we did when we got there was to pose in front of the fountain and toss a bell in for a wish. Then we checked into the Coral Beach Hotel, where we got a lovely view of the ocean and fountain.

The architecture of the hotel is so pretty, it reminds me of an old village on a tropical island. Along the boardwalk are charming little shops and cafes where we got to enjoy shaved ice and fine handmade souvenirs. I got a set of cute floral teacups, a dot grid notebook with a pretty mosaic cover, a gorgeous seashell necklace, and a painted ukulele.

We went swimming and snorkeling in the ocean, where we got to see the pretty coral the place is known for. Nature can be so fascinating sometimes - the coral really does look like fancy lace! I also collected a bunch of pretty seashells like pearl oysters, which are pretty rare, as well as pink oyster shells and obsidian shells, something I've never seen before. Desi suggested that we go parasailing - her new favorite activity as of recently - so that's what we did and it was a lot of fun! We also went surfing, watched a performance at the theater, shared cocktails during happy hour, and explored the gardens.

Today we went to a mosaic workshop and made some cool decor. Then we went to a ceramics shop where we watched how bowls were made, which was pretty cool. After that we had a late lunch at Sash, where we had poke and butter mochi. Next door was a bookstore where we browsed for a while and then we spent a couple hours at the beach before heading to the hotel for dinner.

Since we aren't leaving until tomorrow afternoon, we had some time to kill so we spent it at the pool, lounging around. Desi says she's looking forward to seeing the camp and meeting up with Daisy Jane. It's so good seeing Desi relaxed and having a great time, especially after what she had to put up with during her time with Too Cool.

It's getting late now and I still have a little bit of packing left to do. The ocean's so pretty at this time of night, the way the light of the stars reflect on the water like sparkles. I can't wait to come back in the near future.

[words-writ-in-starlight]

writing tip

Time for more vagueblogging about that dude who wanted to hire me.

Listen.  If you are working in a universe where some Major Societal Change occurred, please consider how long it takes for a society to change completely.  

Basically?  George Lucas was wrong.  I’m sure that’s hard to hear but it’s true.  The Jedi do not go from Space Cops to a dimly remembered myth of a religion in twenty years, no matter how good your propaganda is, because of a thing called living memory.  Here are your approximate time frames you’re going to be working with if you’re dealing with this kind of setting:

Here And Now, the time where your novel is set

Living Memory, the things that are remembered by the people who are still alive, probably everything from the present back through most of a century, although that one’s a moving target based on lifespan and circumstances like war or famine

Mythic History, the things that are talked about in the tone of “once upon a time”

You are also dealing with:

Before The Event

After The Event

You can use propaganda to make people “forget” things in terms of being unwilling to speak about them, but no propaganda program is perfect and societies have a lot of momentum behind them.  Living Memory is still crucially important to take into account, and things that are present in Living Memory shouldn’t be relegated to Mythic History because it feels discordant as hell.  This means that, if everything Before The Event, whatever that major change was, is Mythic History, everyone who was alive at the time of The Event should be dead now.

Ex: Vader isn’t a fucking sorcerer, y’all, he’s using the Force and there’s literally no justifiable reason for anyone even nominally well-acquainted with galactic events to think otherwise.  There were a lot of Jedi and they were commanders in a big ass war about two decades ago, nothing in Star Wars bothers me more than this.  There was a while there where you couldn’t swing a space cat without hitting someone who was within two degrees of separation from a Jedi, it’s ridiculous to think that everyone wrote them off as myth that fast.

(Listen, I know the real world is in a rush to forget important things like the Holocaust, but A: societies have momentum and a lot of ours is antisemetic in nature, among other things, B: that kind of denial is bullshit and we all know it’s bullshit, C: the Axis lost WWII so that’s not the kind of societal overhaul we’re talking about here, and D: sometimes reality really is stranger than fiction, we’re trying to write a believable novel not a history textbook.  No one would believe you if you wrote a novel where over 16 million men shared an identical Y chromosome passed down from a conqueror eight centuries ago, nor if your main character conquered an island by making it a peninsula, but here we are.)

Anyway, here’s the point: if you want to completely rewrite a society to the extent that the way things were Before The Event is completely foreign to the civilization at large, you are not going to have a main character who was twenty years old when the civilization changed over.  You’re just not.  You need hundreds of years of consistent and competent erasure to instill that kind of total disbelief that, for example, no one ever believed the world was flat.  Or that the Jedi existed.  We are not talking about one lifetime.  We are talking about at least everyone who was alive during The Event being dead and, ideally, another generation having kicked it, too--say 25 years to a generation, so, like, minimum 125 years.  You have to remove Living Memory from the equation if you want to talk about things Before The Event as Mythic History.  The more time has passed After The Event, the more justifiable forgetting the way things were Before The Event becomes.  

If you simply can’t have that kind of time frame, for whatever reason, then you need to go full V for Vendetta and the authority figures need to be ready and willing to kill anyone who even hints at the way things were Before The Event.  Not just anyone who stands up against them, anyone who even indicates that they have not followed orders and completely forgotten how things used to be.  Living Memory must be eradicated artificially in this situation, both through propaganda and through literally killing the memory--and I’ll point out that it’s ultimately unsuccessful, because Living Memory is pretty pernicious.

But, uh, all that being said...

Hot take?

If you’re trying to, oh, say, establish a society where women have completely subjugated men to second-class citizen status, you’re gonna need more than twenty years.

[th4nkyoub3n]

I try not to vagueblog because I don’t want people to worry if I’m being petty about them. I’m not censoring the url about the person I’m going to talk about because I want them to block me on Tumblr. I don’t like seeing their avatar. I keep seeing it around and I don’t like that.

I feel like, if I described monkeysky to monkeysky, they would’ve called themselves an asshole. Since, well, they really hated purif/ied-zo/ne, the ex before them.

I guess I have a manipulative way with words. I’m self-aware enough to know when I’ve done something wrong, and with that awareness I know how to downplay my own faults. I don’t lie, but I might omit key details because I don’t want to be hated. I make sure to add a disclaimer about how I’m making myself sound better. I assume other people do this too, or at least would if they knew how, but human memory is faulty.

That being said.

I love the way I said on the phone that our relationship was uncomplicated, and that made you snap because you were insecure about how you were worried that other people didn’t seem to realize that you were a real and complicated person. In hindsight, yes, it was a complicated relationship.

I love the way you think things through before you type them, and yet claim you don’t think out every single way a phrase might be interpreted. Sounds like you were full of shit, huh?

I love the way you said “I wouldn’t be ashamed,” when I joked that I’d call myself your boyfriend as punishment, because I thought there could be nothing more shameful.

I love the way you were unwilling to talk about me being your boyfriend, despite what you had said.

I love the way you said you didn’t want a birthday present yet later bragged about the presents you got from your friends.

I love the way you always seemed like you were angry with me.

I love the way I had a teenager mediate our relationship disputes, and how the mediator said you were infuriating to negotiate with.

I love the way I was always crying when I was in the relationship, and I couldn’t explain it to others, but once it was over so was the crying.

I love the way you said that nobody owes anyone anything.

I love the way you kept giving me preferential treatment and kept relying on me for emotional support, after we started talking after the break-up. I love the way I started crying again because I couldn’t handle the pressure.

I love the way you lost everything that made you funny. I love how you repeated the same boring jokes.

I love the way you said Ichabod, the main character of my novel in progress, was an unlikable character, and that I should change him. I think I said that he wasn’t supposed to be likable, but the truth is that I love Ichabod. Is that weird? Is it strange that I think Ichabod deserves to be liked despite how Ichabod does not like himself? That I want to write him in a way that challenges the empathy of the reader? I mean, after all

I loved you.

[geometragic]

How I Run My Blog

TAGGED BY: The awesome @fallasea​ and @unladylikc​ ! Thanks a bunch for tagging me ! ^^

TAGGING: @extravachance @votalia @crimsonroyalty @barmxcidal​ @dracdad @yamatablooded @shapetrickster @evergardcn @anikiofthesea @sengokuspirits and anyone else who’d like to do this meme ! ^^

SPEED:  I tend to reply pretty slowly most of the time, because I want to write quality replies for my partners. And because school and the lab and my personal life all keep me pretty busy and stressed. XD Normally, I tend to reply after 1-3 months, but recently, I’ve been good about replying within a week or two. ^^

REPLIES:  Hmm...as far as word count goes, I tend to aim to write about the same number of words as my partner has written. Sometimes I go over that word limit by a lot, but you’ll never see me drop under it. I have a personal thing about matching my partner’s length, but I don’t really care so much whether my partner matches mine, especially if I’ve written way too much. XD As far as the writing process goes...I write up a rough draft for a reply first, and then after a break of at least a few hours, I edit the rough draft, finish it, and queue it. In addition, I usually reply to things in the order in which I receive them.

STARTERS: I used to do starter calls twice a year (once over winter break and once over summer break), but now I’m too lazy to even do that much. XD If you want me to write you a starter, the best way is to come into my inbox / Tumblr IM, preferably with an idea. We can discuss ideas, and then when we reach an agreement about what the starter should be about, I can go ahead and write it. When I write starters, they tend to be 1-2 paragraphs in length, although with certain starters and certain muses I’ve been able to write 3-4 paragraphs just to start off with.

As far as other people’s starters go...I’m fine with pretty much anything, whether it’s plotted or unplotted, including random starters and one-liners. ^^ I suppose that the one type of starter that I dislike, though, is a pre-established relationship starter. Given Katsuie’s personality, he’s not the sort of person who makes friends / has an ex / flirts with other people / etc. I also dislike pre-established relationship starters because there’s not a specific memory for my muse to think back upon while he’s interacting with another person’s muse. There’s just this vagueness of ‘and then we were friends / lovers / rivals / enemies / etc.’ Also, I know that a lot of people dislike first-interaction starters because sometimes they get stale and boring, but I’ve found that you can have a lot of really unique first interactions from them, too. ^^

By the way, you’ll know when I’ve seen your starter when I’ve given your starter a like. ^^

INBOX: I try to send both IC and OOC memes as much as I can. I don’t tend to post memes myself that often, though. I simply don’t trust myself to get replies to memes out in a timely manner, unless it’s for a short meme. XD Right now, the inbox is open to everyone —– anons, non-mutuals, and mutuals. ^^

SELECTIVITY:  For right now, as it states in my rules, my blog is selective and semi-private. Semi-private means that I’ll thread with anyone, but I’ll give preference to interacting with my mutuals. 

...I say that, but in all honesty, I’ve gotten a lot more picky when it comes to finding rp partners over the past several months. XD I probably should describe my blog as ‘highly selective’, but that phrase is associated with a lot of negative things, so I’ve avoided using it for now. ^^; I’m also considering becoming private, since 99% of the people whom I write with right now are private, so there’s pretty much no point in being semi-private. I’ll think about both of those things more before I actually make changes to my rules, though.

When it comes to looking for new rp partners, there are a few things that I do. First of all, the blog needs to have a rules page and an about page. I don’t feel comfortable following someone who doesn’t have at least a rules page, because I don’t want to be blamed for breaking a rule that I never knew about. Second of all, the blog layout needs to be readable. If the blog has a rules page and about page but I can’t read them, or the scroll bar for their blog is broken, then I won’t be able to read their pages / threads. Third, I look to see if they have an ic interaction of decent length (150+ words) on the first page of their blog. This tells me whether they’re active and whether they can write multi-para-length or novella-length threads, which are my preferred types of threads. It also tells me whether they only write with a ship partner and / or significant other, or whether they’re open to writing with other people who aren’t ship partners and / or significant others. Looking through someone’s posts also tells me whether they tend to involve themselves in drama / reblog callout posts / vagueblog about other people / etc.

Since my own muse comes from an unknown fandom, I’m pretty open in regards to which fandoms I’ll roleplay with. Even if I’ve never heard of the series that your character is from, there’s still a chance that I’ll follow your blog, if there’s something in your muse’s background and / or personality that gives me at least a vague idea for how your muse could interact with Katsuie ! ^^ In regards of what style of writing I like to see...I can’t take purple prose or constant one-liners seriously. XD So when I look for new partners, I tend to look for ones who write in a more straightforward way. Also, I look for partners who tend to write multi-para to novella length threads, since those are the type of threads that I’m most interested in writing. ^^

If someone’s blog is inactive for a month or I feel like our muses don’t click, I tend to unfollow and / or soft-block. By the way, if you feel like our muses don’t click or that we, as muns, don’t click, then feel free to unfollow or soft-block me as well ! I’ll get the message. ^^

WISHLIST: You can find the wishlist tag here ! As for specific things that I’m thinking of at the moment:

More male friends ! I don’t know if it’s because of my preference for female muses or what, but strangely enough most of Katsuie’s interactions over the past year or two have been with female muses. It’d be nice to see him form some friendships with male muses, too ! Seriously, I can only think of one or two male muses whom he’s friends with right now. XD But honestly, Katsuie could use more friends in general, too. Whether they’re male or female or a supernatural being who has no use for the concept of ‘gender’. XD

I honestly feel kind of pathetic for admitting this next one, but...I’d like more romantic ships for Katsuie, as well. Seriously, I realized the other day that the last time that I even discussed a romantic ship with someone involving Katsuie and their muse was about a year ago. XD Now, given how Katsuie is, I understand that it’s not at all easy to ship with him. On the one hand, he’s pretty standoffish and cold to most people when it comes to romance, since he practically considers himself married to Oichi. XD On the other hand, when he does fall for someone else...once he reaches that stage of infatuation, that’s when the yandere side of him comes out and makes the relationship a mess. XD Still, though...I’d like to explore more ships with him, if it’s possible. ^^

HONEST NOTE:  Finding rp partners on this blog can be really tough sometimes, so I’m truly thankful to all of you who have followed this blog and have had your muse(s) interact with Katsuie in some way ! ^^

[ex-terfs]

So far I've had:

TERFs justifying death threats ("don't take it too seriously"; "they deserve it"; "it's our revenge").

TERFs dying to know who I used to be (lol keep trying, fellas!).

TERFs vagueblogging about me — implying that I'm now a "handmaiden", that I "don't know" what radical feminism is, & that I was "never a TERF in the first place".

"Handmaiden"? Me, a woman who has never had a boyfriend & doesn't want one anyway, am a handmaiden? Orrr am I now a handmaiden just because I have different opinions?

And I "don't know" what radfem is? When actually, I've read second-wave radfem books & articles probably more than you, who gets info only from Tumblr & Blogspot. Enough books to know that second-wave radfems feel ashamed of you, esp when you bully women.

And I was "never" a TERF? When actually, I played by your rules for 2 years — which I had to police my own speech & behavior just so I could be accepted. I used to follow & like your blogs, YOU used to follow & like my blog; I used to admire your fights with the "trans cult" & your conspiracy theories. People can change, you know. Just like you call yourself an "ex-Libfem", I call myself an ex-TERF/ex-Radfem. Y'all keep acting exactly like the Christians who think there's no such thing as an 'ex-Christian' — just proves how your beliefs are a dogma.

[thedivinemsem]

I came across this quote recently and realized its very true in my life.  Karma always comes through for me - sometimes I don’t recognize it at first because I’m focused on not getting what I wanted.  

That’s how its been for a few months now...I think I’ve posted before about being in a dark place...but its family stuff so I need to “vagueblog”.  Anyhow, this week was absolutely the worst - it was one thing after another and I actually imploded a bit.  But in hindsight, its probably good that happened, because if there was any doubt as to how the situation has affected me.......there isn’t any more.

And I was reminded again how lucky I am to have people who love and support me.  They validate my thoughts and remind me that I am a good person who does her best and deserves to be treated as such.  

It’s only recently I learned the term gaslighting....but it is definitely something I’ve experienced more than once in my life and I need to learn to recognize it for what it is - lies intended to hurt and perhaps manipulate.  I’m an easy mark because a lot of my past has been banished to the mists, and so I need to trust others to speak the truth and help me remember.  

Enough of that.  As I said, I was in a very dark place and I can’t honestly say that I”m clear yet.  But I’m trying my best to move onward with the least amount of alcohol and tears possible.  Which leads me to the wisdom of Mick Jagger - “We can’t always get what we want, but if we try sometimes, we get what we need”.

For the past few years, I’ve done a young friends taxes.  This is the son of a friend of mine that I realized today I have known since he was a toddler.  They were my neighbors and I watched that young man grow up.  He became a father long before he’d planned, and circumstances were such that he needed to take custody of his daughter at a pretty young age.  His parents helped him a lot, but i know firsthand how quickly you have to grow up and how difficult it can be - and I had an ex with a family more than willing to share the burden....while he didn’t and doesn’t have any of that extra support.

So we connect, he comes over, and properly distanced, I do his taxes for him.  He tells me about his girlfriend and how they have moved back into the neighborhood he grew up in.  That she has a daughter as well and I can tell from his face and tone of voice that he’s really happy.  I’m thrilled because he’s a good man who hasn’t had an easy time of it for many reasons....and he deserves success and happiness and all things good, including a large refund.

Fast forward to today - he messages me and asks what I’m doing. I figured he messaged the wrong person and so when I answer I tell him I’m free but I also ask if he really meant to message me, lol.  His reply is that his family is going to the park up the street from me and would I like to come join them and meet everyone. 

So I go and his girlfriend is wonderful - they do those looks between them where I can tell that he adores her and I think she feels the same.  Her daughter looks just like her - and in the same way my friend’s daughter looks just like him.  The little one is five and blonde - and the older one, who I’ve met before is eight with dark hair.  They go to play on the park equipment while we play Pokemon Go - but of course they come over and are interested so I give up my spare phone and we wander through the woods letting the kids catch Pokemon and then do some battles and its awesome.  Its the first time I’ve been around kids in a year.....and they are almost the same age as my own grandkids and one is blonde and one is dark.

And I have no doubt that it’s the universe showing me that I have made a difference in someone’s life - enough that he wants to show me his happiness and include me in his world.  

Its the first time in more than eight months that I’ve been allowed to interact in person (socially distanced, of course) with anything remotely resembling a family and it is exactly what I needed to help me out of the darkness.  A reminder that love, not blood, makes a family....and a reinforcement that I am loved and valued.  

No, its not what I wanted - but its definitely what I needed......and I am grateful to the universe.

[jack-of-aces]

Okay, so I might vagueblog about my current WIP a lot, so here’s an explanation.

The WIP is a television comedy. A basic plot summary below.

“There is no way, in any universe, that I am getting back with you.” That’s what Hearts said, upon running into his ex for what he hoped was the last time. Unfortunately, Finn seemed interested in testing that theory. Flying from this universe to the next, there must be somewhere where they’d end up together. Right?

Character list: (Ages subject to change across episodes)

Hearts: The main character. 19 years old. Gay male.

Lee: Hearts’ love interest. 24 years old. Pan male.

Ryan: Hearts’ best friend. 18 years old. Bi male.

Carrie: Lee’s work partner. 26 years old. Aroace female.

Finn: Hearts’ ex-something (It’s unclear). 30 years old. Bi male.

Arpana: A college professor of inter-dimensional physics. 28 years old. Pan ace female.

Luna: Arpana’s love interest. 27 years old. Lesbian female.

Typical episode:

The characters all find themselves in a new universe, one that fits a different genre stereotype. Finn tries to impose himself on Hearts, who instead meets and falls in love with Lee. 

Current plan is 1 season, 15 episodes, 1 hour apiece.

You’ll probably get more on all this later, but that is the basics.

[inkravensketchbook]

If you felt attacked by my posts :

I'm more than willing to discuss offline! But vagueblogging is just escalating aminosity and making things out to be more extreme than they are. I am really fascinated by the idea of augs, so I apologize if it came off as something unsavory. That wasn't my intention - I wanted to show how I think they work and get some input from others as to what they think. Since in universe Deus ex likes to handwave a lot of things, I really enjoy trying to puzzle out how something would work if it was real. Please don't take it as zealotry for my position - I know enough to laugh at myself for making a 700 word post about an imaginary guys dingus.

[doberbutts]

I'm not a dogblr (actually not really an anything-blr, just lurking and liking) and I don't post or reblog anything (for various reasons) but I'd just like to apologize for immediately taking sides in that whole shitstorm earlier-I read a few replies and vagueblogs about you and others without actually reading the original post/responses and jumped to a conclusion (which I find is unfortunately common here tbh). After reading everything later I realized that my view of the situation was (1/2)

(2/2) limited and unfairly biased and that you hadn’t actually done any of the things you were being accused of. I really respect and admire you and am glad I wasn’t a complete ignorant shitstain and ended up reading everything that went down, because I look up to you both as a dogblr as well as a person and I would hate for something silly (and unfounded) like that to screw with that. (I also learned that I’m a lazy piece of shit who needs to look at all the facts and not just angry vagueblogs)

I have quite a few followers with empty blogs that lurk and like- hello to you too!

Thank you for that. I’m still not really sure why everything went down the way it did. The entire situation was blown way out of proportion by a handful of people that I don’t even interact with and I don’t think ever have outside of maybe answering a few ask games, so it’s strange to me how they could claim they have some sort of intimate knowledge of my personal history or of my personality. And then people who I have spoken to, made nice with and chatted about dogs, join in saying how I am always mean and elitist and rude and they’ve been waiting to run me off tumblr for a while- that’s cool I guess it’s great knowing that I can’t trust anyone on this site.

Also I like the handful of anons who were going around saying they knew me from another site where I was always rude and mean- let’s see, the only other site you would “know me” from is chickensmoothie, and the people on there that don’t like me include:

the chick who has a bajillion animals in absolutely filthy cages that she’s incapable of caring for and so several of them have died from completely preventable things (told her to improve her husbandry before getting more animals)

the chick who bred a crippled hideous ambully to another crippled hideous ambully that died at a year old and kept two puppies with severe cleft palates for breeding (doesn’t like that I disapprove of breeding a dog with no health testing to a dog with crippling swayback, or that breeding deformed puppies is probably bad)

the chick with the dogs that keep killing her livestock that keeps getting more livestock that her dogs keep killing (maybe don’t let your dogs interact with your livestock and I’ll stop saying that it’s a bad idea?)

the chick with the “registered service dog” patterdale/APBT that keeps calling her mutt a purebred because she’s more game than any pure APBT and registration ID cards make things easier for her so she doesn’t care it makes things harder for literally everyone else (because both APBT and SD teams have things hard enough as it is)

the chick in a country where “pit bulls” and all bully breeds are banned claiming that her unpapered off color bbms are purebred APBT (your blue and blue brindle BBMs are mutts that are very illegal for you to have and you don’t sound at all knowledgeable to claim them as pure)

and maybe one of my exes and their ex gf (messy breakup, messier breakup)

oh yeah and the like 5 whiny white people who were mad that I told them that they didn’t get to sit there and tell a black person what is and isn’t racism, and the one otherkin kid that tried to convince me they have it worse because being otherkin is just like being trans except they’ll never be an animal and I can have a surgery to make me a dude, and the one white vegan that said she hoped my ancestors knew I betrayed them by making Creed into a slave- but I doubt they did anything with dogblr

All of whom I haven’t spoken to for close to a year or more now because I got tired of that site’s drama and left. Yes. Wonderful judges of character, wouldn’t you say?

But it really bothers me because I know you aren’t the only person who had this reaction, and this defamation of character + harassment + betrayal was a little too out of control over two sentences, an apology, and a “hey btw could you not register your dog”. Especially not considering only a few hours earlier I’d chased an actual neo-nazi off my blog with a lot more respect than that, and if my recent “punch all nazis” posts are anything for you to go by then you’d know that I have absolutely no respect for that shit. Somehow a gay, disabled, black dude was able to handle telling a nazi to fuck off a lot better than dogblr was able to handle a situation that didn’t need to explode but it’s cool it’s fine I’m good everything’s peachy.

Because you know it’s not like we didn’t have a ~educate, don’t hate~ and ~don’t send anon hate it’s mean~ kick going on but I guess that only matters for some blogs.

And the absolute kicker in all this is that one of the folks who started the shenanigans followed me a week after I turned my blog back on and occasionally reblogs or likes my things, but never offered an apology. So I guess I’m a rude elitist mean asshole when it suits their public narrative but when it comes down to it they think they’re entitled to interact with my blog as though nothing’s wrong with absolutely no “hey so that was pretty uncalled for”. Funny that.

I apologize- I’m sure you didn’t mean to unleash the torrent of salt but I am quite bitter and am reminded of how bitter I am about this every time I see that url pop up in my notifications or sit there in my recent followers.