#perspective is odd because i am a system

[intrepidhyena]

Everything must move on

I guess maybe its time.

I just never know what to put first.

We would have fought any storm for you. Crossed any ocean (you promised us we would).

Theyd give almost anything To hear you laugh again and be the reason for it - to see you Really smile. To hear you talk about Soulmates.

I hope we never see you again.

I hope we do, so I can tell you all the things that start with Fuck You

But that would make us the person you were afraid we were and I dont want to prove your shitty accusations right.

They want you to know theyre sorry for all the things they did that hurt you - for the days their wounds bled claws and vitriol and snide remarks.

But we were the medic, right? We werent SUPPOSED to bleed. It Must have been our Fault. Right?

(It wasnt our fault).

(It shouldnt have taken 2 years of therapy to beleive that).

FUCK YOU.

I want You to know how sorry You should be for everything you put them through. I want you to remember every well intentioned lie, every promise you never kept, every hypocritical holier-than-thou speech you gave them - and i hope you KNOW you were the very thing you purport to hate.

i want you to know what You did.

You can take your ‘ love ’ and shove it up your ass. Because youre the reason they will Never trust anyone like that ever again.

Everything we ever let go of had claw marks in it. We dont like giving up. (If giving up was an option we wouldnt be here). (So its not an option, there is no other choice). The trick is - dont hold onto anyone.

They will never believe that people Mean their promises. They will always be expecting the rug pull. The someone-better. The slowly yawning distance only bridged by your denial.

That part's just Sad.

Of course they stopped talking to you - you made it clear you werent listening. Everyone elses stories were the truth and they were a Liar and you forgave your Favorite but you never let us forget our mistakes.

You expected us to forgive Yours. But you Stood behind your Favorite when They decided how the world should be. Made to order for them because fuck trying to understand each other, right?

I still cant fucking beleive you did the same thing to us that you Villanized us for not stopping from happening to you.

Makes me want to laugh like something with too many teeth, painted in black and red.

Getting away from you was the best thing we've ever done. We maybe never would have met each other if it hadnt happened that way. Its some stupid irony That we are the best version of us we've ever been and we are so many things you hate. I hope youre dissapointed in us. I hope one day You walk past us on the street and you feel your soul clawing towards theirs but you dont recognize us.

I hope one day we forget you and you stop smiling in our nightmares. I hope one day they stop seeing your ghost everywhere.

Ive started burning your mail. Change your fucking address.

[hannie-dul-set]

the ethics of belief — [p.sh].

SYNOPSIS. you’ve been noticing some signs that park sunghoon seems to have a problem with you, and you’re resolute to getting a straight confirmation or denial from him rather than taking the signs as they are and believing in the worst. it’s less troublesome that way. you’d much rather believe what he’d say than spend the remaining two and half-years mulling over something that doesn’t even matter. 

meanwhile, park sunghoon also harbors his own unvoiced beliefs about you and your person. the issue arises when that belief starts to fester under the seams of certainty and doubt— a firm credence denied from the opportunity of validation. 

and that’s when the belief of oneself usually starts to fall apart.

PAIRING. park sunghoon x female! reader. GENRE. college! au, classmates! au, strangers to one-sided enemies/academic rivals to friends to lovers to exes to [redacted], romance, angst, hurt/comfort, humor, drama, inspired by my nth reread of the manhwa “cheese in the trap.”  WARNINGS. swearing, an initial unhealthy dynamic that gets better with time, misogyny, daddy issues LMAO, dishonesty, ulterior motives HUAHA, self-sabotage, talks of insecurities, so much academic dumps and word vomits, the mc’s are political science students that enough deserves a warning, more tba. WORD COUNT. est. 15-20k. preview 2.5k.

TAGLIST. i will be completely transparent and say that i may or may not even get to finish this HAHAHAH nevertheless, if you’re interested, just shoot an ask/dm/reply!

NOTE. i am.....up to something yet again HHAHAHHAHA. was really inspired to write something like this after rereading cheese in the trap!!! it took me while to decide which kpop boy i should subject to my whims this time, and idk why i even bothered mulling it over when hoon was literally the perfect fit for this perfectionist, passionate, paranoid male lead 😔😔. quite different tone than the fics i usually write (quarter life crisis time). anyhow, i hope this piques your interest! enjoy!

preview under the cut.

“YOU’RE SITTING ON THE COUCH, WHEN YOU HEAR A KNOCK. The police have arrived to arrest your spouse— for murder. This accusation comes as a total shock, but their fingerprints were found on the murder weapon. Your spouse insists they’re innocent. Should you believe your spouse, even though the evidence against them looks damning? This, class, is a classic example of an ethical dilemma.”

There is a guy from your major that you’ve recently come to notice.

“Discussed by Alex Worsnip, this question covers the ethics of belief through various lenses, including evidentialism and pragmatism—”

Well. It’s not as if you’ve never noticed him before.

“It was W.K. Clifford who coined the term the ethics of belief in his 1876 book under the same name. He forwarded the evidentialist view of belief in determining the correct, or moral, way of viewing a situation or problem— that is, by believing things based on the evidence at hand. However, this is not the only perspective we can use to anchor our respective belief systems.”

It’s just that for the past two months you’ve known him, you’ve noticed that his behavior around you has been quite…odd, in comparison to the rest of your peers.

“Now, let us go back to the problem I’ve presented earlier. Hmm. Let’s see the attendance list—”

He was the first person you were introduced to during the pre-academic-year-get-together when you came back after spending the previous semester in a government sponsored exchange program to the U.S. In fact, it was very hard not to notice him, considering that the moment you arrived at the event— late, because you had to spend the entire day unpacking your studio the hours prior— he was a new face surrounded by a notable amount of people from your year.

And your first impression of him was simple.

“—is Park Sunghoon present?

(“This is Sunghoon! Park Sunghoon! C’mon, say hi!”

A tall, good-looking, well-off, popular guy who apparently also has a great personality. Sim Jaehyun’s introduction of Park Sunghoon seems to have maxed out on adjectives. He apparently also transferred to this program— Bachelor of Arts in Political Science— at the same time you left for your exchange program. He, after one once-over amidst the crowded scene, is someone you’ve concluded that you’re better off simply retaining as an acquaintance and a classmate because of the very adjectives Jaeyun described him with.

Popular, after only a semester of being here. Carries with him a crowd of people. That’s far too troublesome for you to voluntarily deal with.

So, for your own benefit, the smart decision is simply to never go further beyond being on polite terms with Park Sunghoon.

“Nice to meet you.”

“Ah. Yes, hi.”

“Now, don’t be awkward! Everyone already knows each other except for the both of you. You two should put in the effort to get closer.”

There’s a slight lag to Park Sunghoon’s smile. You smile back, scanning the rented venue for Kim Yeondu— closest friend since first semester and is trying to recruit you into the Strava cult— else you’d be a few minutes, few tequila shots too late from saving her from embarrassing herself on the first unofficial day of the semester. Nam Deokhwan seems to have already gotten the ball rolling and passing around drinks. Choi Nari is yelling at you three to come join for a group photo.

An exhale from you, you tighten your smile and flicker your gaze back to your new acquaintance, who looks like he’s also ready to get this awkward introduction over with. Jaeyun is the only soul in this three-person liminal space that’s even somewhat enthusiastic. 

At last, Park Sunghoon extends out a hand for a shake. “Let’s get along,” he says.

“Sure,” you politely reply.)

“Present, sir.”

Your eyes trail off from your notes, all the way to the other side of the lecture hall, several seats away from you to look at the only individual standing amidst the sea of seated students. “Your spouse has been accused of murder with damning evidence.” Prof Yoon flickers the slide back to the previous one, the question printed on the projector screen. “Should you believe them or not?”

There’s a polite smile on his face— an easygoing yet comfortable air. His posture is as straight as it can get. His profile is something artists would want to transfer onto canvas. “I would believe the evidence presented against my spouse’s testimony, Professor Yoon.”

You click the end of your pen, pointing the inked tip towards the paper with a hum.

“Care to expound?”

Sitting next to you in the hall is Yeondu, who has her eyes locked straight onto Park Sunghoon as he begins his answer. “The phrasing of ‘should you believe’ them rather than would implies a moral obligation of belief. In this scenario, what I’d want to believe does not matter. Even if my spouse had been, for example, loving and kind throughout the course of our relationship, the existence of police-discovered evidence that they had committed the crime of murder would overpower any emotionally-driven feelings of belief that I’d have.” You hear her sigh a little. Dreamily even, with her elbows propped up on the table and palms cupping her cheeks. “Evidence points us towards the direction of the truth, therefore there is no question but to believe in it.”

“Jesus, I have not registered a single word he said, but fuck, he sure sounds hot as hell when he talks smart.”

You laugh a little. You’re not one to deny that Park Sunghoon is indeed smart, handsome, and has the voice of an angel. But none of those are the sources of his difference in his behavior towards you. At least, you don’t think it is.

“Very good, Sunghoon. Your take is a clear evidentialist perspective towards the dilemma.”

A prompt from your professor, Park Sunghoon nods and returns to his seat, eliciting some murmurs from everyone else around. You set down your pen. You straighten your back.

“I’d like to hear if anyone has a different answer.”

You raise a hand.

“Yes?”

All eyes are on you—

“Thank you, sir. While the evidentialist point of view might seem the most rational, I’d like to argue otherwise.” 

—including Park Sunghoon’s

“I do not disagree with the moral burden of who I should believe. And in this case, I should believe my spouse. Not because of love or the fact that we are in a relationship. Regardless of the individual, the principle that everyone is presumed to be innocent until proven guilty beyond rest still stands.” You begin. You direct your attention towards Professor Yoon as you continue speaking. However, your peripheral notices something interesting. “Given that the situation is provided that the evidence is simply presented in testimony by a police officer outside the court, it is still yet to be verified and judged by the court of law. The same goes with my spouse. Therefore, until the law declares them guilty or otherwise for the crime of murder, I would choose to believe my spouse over anything.”

Park Sunghoon had been preparing to raise his hand. And he does. “May I ask her a question?” he asks. Professor Yoon nods at him to go ahead, and— when Park Sunghoon turns his head to direct his attention towards you— it fails to slip under your notice.

That annoyed look in his eyes. Bothered. Discomforted.

“Do you argue that we have the ability to choose what we believe?”

That’s the very reason why you can’t help but notice him more than you’d like.

“We have no control over the beliefs we carry. If we have that ability, then the concept of doubt would not exist, and this dilemma would not exist, either.”

Another round of murmurs arise. You nod and smile. “That’s a good point. However, I still stand with my argument.” What is up with that look of irritation? What is his problem? “We may not be able to control our beliefs at will, but our belief systems are shaped by our principles, morals, and experiences, are they not? My principles of justice alongside the experiences of a healthy and loving relationship would lead me towards believing him above anything else. This is not an argument based on emotion. Upon marriage, a moral obligation towards your spouse is conceived.”

You see him flinch. His brows furrow, a counter-argument already brewing in his mind.

“Should the time come that your spouse is indeed proven innocent, and your belief stood against them, then I’d say that you have failed your moral obligation.”

Unfortunately, the opportunity to fire it is stripped away the moment he opens his mouth. “That is a very good argument. I believe Mr Park Sunghoon has more to say, but unfortunately, we don’t have enough time to discuss things further. You two may take your seats.”

It seems like both you and Park Sunghoon get the similar idea to give each other one last glance before sitting back down. You, offering a smile and a nod of acknowledgement after sharing a fruitful discussion. Him, masking that previous expression of annoyance by mirroring yours, followed by an immediate turn around— head snapping back in front as if he couldn’t bear to look at you any longer.

Seriously. What’s up with him?

Yeondu scratches something onto your abandoned sheet of paper the moment you release a breath and sink back into your seat. Whoa, that was an intense exchange, she wrote. Pay attention, you scribble back with a soft hum. Though, you’re not exactly one to talk because although you’re looking at Professor Yoon and trying your best to listen to her talk, the recently concluded exchange with the man in front has gotten your mind wandering.

“As much as I’d like to hear discussions of other common ethical dilemmas such as the trolley problem, it seems like we only have around five minutes left for today’s class. However, this isn’t our only opportunity for discourse.”

All evidence points towards the idea that Park Sunghoon has a problem with you.

“Next week is the College Field Day, so we won’t be meeting. The week after that, we will be having a debate.”

But you’re not one to jump to conclusions. So until you get a confirmation from Park Sunghoon personally—

“Please see the screen for your groups. I will be posting the guidelines and propositions on our MIS immediately after this class, so please be guided. Once you’ve checked your groups, you may be dismissed. Thank you.”

—you’d much rather hold your suspicions at bay for the time being.

“Ah, fuck me, I’m with Deokhwan! What about you, where’s your— oh! There you are. You’re grouped with Jaeyun and—” It seems like there’s a magnet constantly pulling your vision towards one side of the lecture hall today. Park Sunghoon seems to have read the list at the same time as you did, registered the names listed, and looked over to you at the same time as you did. “Sunghoon! God damn, did Prof Yoon even randomize this? This is crazy. Thank god we’re not fighting against your group.”

At the same time as Professor Yoon takes her leave, the rest of your classmates also slowly trickle out of the lecture hall, while some have opted to remain inside. Park Sunghoon and the rest of the people surrounding him seem to have opted to leave. He already has his bag slung over his shoulder, chatting alongside Jaeyun and Nari and Jongseong and a few others.

You’re still unsure if you’re simply being sensitive, or if he does indeed have an issue with you. Quickly, you gather your things as well. Yeondu shoves her ethics book into her tote bag and locks arms with you. “Anyway, where should we eat? Jiyeon said there’s pork cutlet on the menu today.”

Uncertainties are troublesome. It gets your brain churning more often than you’d like, expending energy more inefficiently than you’d like.

“Do you mind waiting for a second?”

And you’re not very fond of troublesome things.

“I’ll go meet with my group mates first.”

So wouldn’t it make the most sense to just ask him directly?

Yeondu tells you to take it easy, but lets you off with a wave. You march up to the group moving towards the middle aisle dividing two sides of the lecture hall seating. They walk down the pitched flooring, on the way to the bottom of the hall. You cut off that opening. Park Sunghoon’s steps stutter mid-speech at your sudden appearance. Jaeyun releases a surprised whoa. “Park Sunghoon,” you greet. He blinks his widened eyes in response. “Jaeyun, too. Sorry for the interruption. Are you guys heading out for lunch? I was hoping to schedule a meeting time for us first so we could start researching for the debate.”

The initial surprise subsides in the air. Jaeyun breaks the awkward silence with a laugh. “Whoa. You’re way too diligent, dude! Prof Yoon hasn’t even posted the propositions yet.” He nudges his friend for some backup. However, Sunghoon— seeming to only have shaken off his stupor a few moments ago— agrees with you, instead.

“She’s right, Jake,” he says, nudging back his friend, and Park Sunghoon’s eyes trail away from his friend to you, a practiced, polite smile covering his face. “How about we meet later after class at the campus cafe? That way, we’d have more time to sit down for a discussion.”

“Hey, you guys can talk this out later! I’m starving!”

You notice Sunghoon’s smile stiffening for a second. Only for a brief second and you look over to the scene behind his shoulder— a group of evidently impatient and irritated friends, mostly emanating from Nari, who’s leering right at you. You ignore them. You respond to Sunghoon with an expression mirroring his own. “Sure, that’s fine with me,” you say. “My classes end at four.”

“We both finish by four-thirty!” Jayun shutters in, throwing an arm around Sunghoon’s neck, grinning widely with the conversation finally coming to an end. His gaze is already glued to the door. “Alright, we’ll see you later. C’mon, guys. Lunch, lunch, lunch!”

Jaeyun passes you by with a friendly pat on the shoulder. Jongseong nods at you and walks ahead. Among the rest of the group walking past you, you feel one of them bumping into your shoulder, by accident or otherwise, yet even that falls far under your notice in comparison to the first person that passed you by.

It was from the corner of your eye, but you’re sure that Park Sunghoon’s smile disappeared with the roll of his eyes the moment he took the step down and walked past your sight-line.

You caught that. Without a doubt.

“You done? C’mon, let’s go eat!”

Yeondu skips over to you after your mini-meeting, tugging you by the arm out the door, but your mind remains on the two levels of the lecture floor aisle. In spite of the evidence pointing towards Park Sunghoon’s masked distaste towards your person, your personality, your existence— whatever, it’s not the time to ask him about it yet.

Until then, you’ll have to table your judgements and how you intend on dealing with him.

the ethics of belief. © hannie-dul-set, 2025.

[phantobats]

What I'm saying is that you can't say that kids on TikTok who like Red Hood because they support his crusade against crime by proxy of liking his character, without also acknowledging that Batman harms criminals and is a billionaire, which is also inherently against leftist morals. Billionaires cannot be ethical, and physical harm outside of self defense cannot be justified. Batman glorifies harm. Batman romanticizes billionaires. You justifying it by being a "Bruce Wayne apologist" and saying that he donates to charity as if that fixes his exploitation uproots your own argument.

When have I ever encouraged people to emulate Batman's actions or approach?

While I do love the character of Bruce Wayne, I am fully aware of the flaws inherent in his methods and persona. His status as a billionaire and the ethical contradictions surrounding that have been critically explored within the comics themselves. At times, his wealth serves as a narrative device, allowing for his gadgets and resources to make sense within the story. However, my interest in Bruce Wayne is not tied to his wealth or status. It lies in his character—his inner conflict, dedication, and the questions his actions raise.

This is a critical distinction. Most Jason Todd fans, on the other hand, are drawn to him because of his specific approach to crime—an approach that frequently glorifies vigilante violence and even murder. In TikTok comment sections or other spaces, this admiration often goes beyond fiction, with people yearning for someone like Jason to take these methods into the real world.

But let’s unpack that. Supporting Jason's methods—murdering criminals or controlling the drug trade—means supporting the death penalty and organized crime, both of which I’d argue are fundamentally at odds with leftist values. The death penalty disproportionately harms marginalized groups and fails to address the systemic issues that lead to crime in the first place. Similarly, controlling the drug trade instead of dismantling it perpetuates harm to communities, particularly those already vulnerable to exploitation. Neither approach addresses the root causes of inequality or injustice; they just perpetuate cycles of violence and harm.

As for Bruce, while his status as a billionaire is inherently problematic from a leftist perspective, he does at least attempt to use his resources for systemic, long-term improvements. Is it enough to offset the inherent exploitation tied to his wealth? No. But there’s a significant difference between someone using ethically dubious wealth to attempt community aid and someone engaging in outright crime and murder under the guise of justice.

Ultimately, my critique of Jason Todd fans who glorify his methods stems from this: cheering for violent crime or authoritarian control doesn’t align with leftist ideals either. So, while both characters have ethical contradictions, romanticizing Jason’s approach feels far more dangerous in how directly it translates into harmful real-world ideas.

[crumblinggothicarchitecture]

I love your lyrics critics!! absolutely love to see you tear apart T Swifts "genius writing"

here's a line that deeply bothered me from her new album

"I was a functioning alcoholic until nobody notices my new aesthetic"

bc like. yeah she probably is an alcoholic, from what we've seen but. treating alcoholism, addiction, mental health issues etc like an "aesthetic" is EXACTLY the kind of shit she does (literally seems to be what her chosen "aesthetic" for TTPD is) and it's so disgusting I'm shaking

Yeah- I am not sure Taylor Swift really understands the severity of the themes with which she plays.

The line "I was a functioning alcoholic until nobody notices me new aesthetic" just screams attention-seeking behavior. Not that it is a new phenomenon for Swift to be attention-seeking at all times, but I do worry about it.

Not to mention the broader context around that quote is :

I was supposed to be sent away But they forgot to come and get me I was a functioning alcoholic 'Til nobody noticed my new aesthetic All of this to say I hope you're okay But you're the reason And no one here's to blame But what about your quiet treason? ("Fortnight" 2024).

The surrounding use of "to be sent away" meaning that she was supposed to be forcibly institutionalized, and then "they forgot to come and get me" makes no coherent sense. She is saying that they were going to institutionalize her, until, what? They forgot?

Who is "they" and why did "they forget" the line goes nowhere in the song- and never reconnects with any thematic purpose or imagist-esque impression, thus rendering it incoherent. It's completely unconnected from the rest of the narrative- it's just sloppy writing.

Not to mention the first four lines are a guilt trip- saying, essentially, " I am mentally unwell, and it is your fault, I am an alcoholic, and it is your fault" but then pivoting into "but I'm so glad to see that you're okay"

This is the same conceit as her "Picture to Burn" (2006) and "Mr. Perfectly Fine" (2021). She can't even think of anything more original than the classic break-up fake-sadness-turned-gulit-trip trope.

It's an answer, too, to her song "Long Story Short" (2020).

But what I really want to talk about is the last line reading "But what about your quiet treason?"

In the word treason- she is essentially stating that her partner has betrayed her in some spectacular way- rendering the antecedent lines all the more sinister. She is saying that her mental and physical well-being is the responsibility of the other person, thus when she falls apart and they are to blame- it is a treasonous act. They were supposed to be the thing that "fixed" her, or "held her together." This is a poisonous message- it's a guilt trip.

Partners can be emotional support systems yes- but the way she writes this song fully objectifies the other person, as she never includes the other perspective in the song, it has the effect of rendering the other voiceless- furthering their objectification, stripping them of personal autonomy. The partner Swift is singing about becomes nothing more than her emotional crutch- that has failed to do what tools-like a crutch- are supposed to do. I just think there is something so odd about both claiming sever alcoholism, and throwing a bit of a pity-fit, while she is also clearly stripping another person of autonomy, and blaming them for running away from her, all in the same breath.

Like that song gives me a headache- not because it's sonically awful, but because it's told from the perspective of an abusive person.

[kariachi]

Okay, but I am not acknowledging the fucking "oh firelizards return to where they were laid to clutch" shit from canon, for a few reasons.

1- How do they know?

Seriously, question of the day, how does a firelizard that hatched in High Reaches know they were laid in Ista, to give an example? It can't be that their minds reach that far, we've got no example of that and even if we did how the fuck do you know you got laid by these bitches and not those bitches. So is it a genetic memory thing?

2- How the fuck are these golds coming back in even decent shape?

The greens I can understand, they lay their eggs and are done with it, but the whole Thing with golds is that they're very maternal and guard the shit out of their eggs. They're also a highly social species that would have a whole fair helping them in the wild, which they're not gonna have if they just popped in from a whole other part of the planet. So by all rights those ladies should be starving themselves, running themselves ragged. The golds that return should be in awful shape and there should be those that don't return at all. But nope, not even a concern. Yeah.

3- How the fuck is this supposed to work with what we've seen of firelizard social structure?

Specifically, we never see two wild golds in the same fair. We never see two wild fairs in the same location. The only times we see golds in the same place is in captivity and in dragons, and even then how well they get on varies wildly and easily dives straight into violent territoriality. When we see wild gold nests, they're never in proximity to other wild gold nests. But we're expected to believe that an exponential number of fairs return to the same beaches every year to clutch? By this standard the little gold from Menolly's story should have been sharing the cove with her mother, and sisters, and aunts, and cousins, and-

4- Firelizard survival methods don't support this.

Okay, I need you to look at species who do shit like this. Take a look, they all have one of two traits so far as infant survival.

A) They're seasonal breeders that produce a whole hell of a lot of children while providing no parental care, relying on sheer numbers to ensure success and banking on the fact everyone is doing the same in the same place to increase the odds of their own young surviving.

B) They're seasonal breeders that gather in massive colonies to breed, producing few young and giving them more care while counting on the fact everybody is producing babies at the same time to increase the odds of somebody else's baby getting eaten instead of theirs.

Now let's look at firelizards. They gather in individual breeding groups, but not in colonies or really any form of multi-breeding-group clustering. The greens produce multiple small clutches that receive no care. The golds produce a single large clutch that is meticulously guarded. We have reason to believe that green and gold offspring both receive dedicated care upon hatching. We have no reason to believe they're seasonal breeders, doubly so with greens, so these babies are spread out over the course of a year or several.

So they're not making massive numbers all at once and leaving them to luck. They're not seasonally gathering in large groups to shield and tend small numbers of offspring. They, by all accounts, form individual groups with their own seeming territories within which they produce variable numbers of young into whom the group puts in work. Not a system that leads to fucker evolving a 'return to the place of my birth' instinct. If anything it's a system that leads to wider dispersal over time.

And the seasonality thing is important, because without it you could almost make an excuse for greens (there's no excusing golds), but given they just Rise whenever, they simply aren't getting any fucking benefits from the system.

There is, from a Watsonian perspective, no reason that firelizards would have this trait. In fact, there's every reason for it to be counter to what we know about firelizards, wild and in general. And the way it's portrayed simply doesn't make sense within the confines of the settings- where the vast majority of tame firelizards (that's a question, how long does a population have to remain wild before they stop being classed as 'feral', given the firelizards were force-domesticated and then took over) would have no reason to know where they were laid over where they hatched, and there seems to be no repercussion on the golds for fucking off without a fair to guard a clutch they, what, abandon afterwards? Seriously, what happens to these gold clutches, we don't hear anything about golds coming back with offspring but also the golds seem to come back too soon to have raised them up?

Meanwhile, from a Doylist perspective, the entire concept is a poorly utilized attempt to keep firelizards 'special' so that they can continue to be used as a symbol of in-universe status and how how Important a character is. Something that could have better been done (though I think bothering at all is a waste of potential) by having tame firelizards produce few or no successful clutches, a problem to be solved over time as people learn about them. Could even be something they get from AIVAS, just being like "yeah no stop feeding them so much meat, you rich bastards, it's messing with their nutrition" or some shit. Ancient firelizard knowledge lost to time.

[larkingame]

so, i don't usually crosspost these posts, but this week's update on patreon is available to everyone and I know I have a bit of a larger following on tumblr, and I'd really like everyone on the same page so I'm dropping all I have to say here too.

good evening friends!! i hope you're all doing well! welcome to the first update of 2024. momentous for me personally, because this is the year we finish larkin. i am making this post available to all patrons, (paid or not) because I'd really like to start 2024 on the right foot with everyone aware of the road ahead. i am so determined to get it done you have no idea. this is my year. 2024, i christen thee: the year of the vampire cowboy.

okay, so big things ahead, lets talk about the update, explore some of the features we have in the game, plans for this weekends release, the schedule and a couple other things.

so, if you've played at all with the new version of the game, you'll take notice that it's a little bit different than my first image of the game. at first larkin was just a straight interactive fiction following the likes of cog like games, with choices and avenues and split stats and the like. but now, as of 2024 (crazy) we're seeing a game that is more reminiscent of a ttrpg, like dnd or cyberpunk, with stats, classes and dice rolls. admittedly, the very first encounter of the game is well (it's a little rigged) the game, of course, could not really get started if the preacher gets cooked before they've even made it to nevada, so, the odds are a little bit stacked in the players favor this round, but at least, it gives you a little bit of a taste of whats to come. to dive into the specifics of what's important with this first encounter (or just, how to avoid getting your ass really kicked) these first few rolls give bonuses to players with high dexterity and athleticism—-but that's not to say you need to make your character beefed up in these departments. each stat will get their time to shine later down the line.

but let's talk about what i'm really excited to discuss: classes. so with the new version of larkin, i've introduced a system of classes that operate somewhat like your standard dungeons and dragons class, but with a little bit more of that classic background from the original ttrpg mixed in—coloring the way your character sees the world of the game, sort of how a race might effect a dnd character--(a dwarf player is going to have a much different worldview than say, an elf.) for this i was heavily inspired by games like dragon age origins and baldur's gate, and while I do have those original background ready to be dropped a little bit later on the game in relation to your character's perspectives on the abrams family, I really like how these have come to form.

in total there are seven new classes: con-man, outlaw, healer, thief, gambler, showman and slayer. each of these classes warps the perspective of the player character, giving them new motivations, dialogue options, and affects their relationships with the other characters in the game and the world around them. to illustrate this, I'm thinking of making a little bit more of an in depth explanation screen to be added to saturday's update to really get that point across, but I'm still toying with how I want to phrase the specifics of it. what i might do is something similar to baldur's gate with little pop-up tutorials that can be turned off/on depending on how you'd like to play.

to give an example of some of the more in depth motivations/choices each class offers lets talk about the thief and the outlaw classes. the thief class i am especially excited for, because like the con-man class and similar to a few others, it really allows your character to be very money/materialistically motivated. it opens up routes later in the game, like romancing one of the sokolovs—with motivations reminiscent of gold-digging (hehehe very excited for that—i think it will be very fun to write—because you have this idea of a cold hearted player who is entering into a relationship with them strictly for business, versus a cold hearted player who is in it for the cash but also. might be falling in love with one of the sokolovs? ((a lot of fun dynamics afoot here.)) the outlaw class is also one i'm excited to work with because it really puts something of a strain on the preacher and wyatt's relationship—-mostly because you see a strong division in terms of their ethics—the preacher in that case is very 'do what you gotta do to survive,' whereas wyatt believes (key word—believes) he's living by some sort of moral code—that he's failed to instill in the person he views as his child. so like there are layers here boys. layers of resentment, failure—to connect, to teach, to bond. a final tidbit about the slayer class before I move on: if you would really like to play into the enemies to lovers trope with one of the vampires, I would highly recommend giving your player this class ((that's all I'll say))

so: saturday, that takes us to the bar, where each class will get a unique scene, similar to how the scheming tactic section worked in the original game. we're gonna finish up the encounter with the first vampires, meet our guild pursuers and move to the bar. I'm planning also to implement the character customization here—(sort of a way to prep before the player heads out to the bar.) most likely won't get to all classes by saturday's code, but after that, I'm planning to release again on next wednesday, so we're keeping on track. I'd really like to give a full picture of customization for the player character, with all the original options for physical appearance (i might keep clothes vague for now though and let you dress your character later on, until you get a taste of the inventory/bartering system-—you have to deal with MY poor fashion choices for a little bit.) but that being said, about character customization, if there's something that's lacking here and you'd like to suggest an addition I'd be all ears. This is what I'm planning to implement so far:

skin tone

body type*

hair color

hair texture

hair length

hair style**

height

skin details (acne, scars, vitiligo, rosacea)

facial hair

make-up

piercings

eyewear (glasses, no glasses, eyepatch, prosthetic eye)

gender-affirming customization (for ex. use of binding)

* a note on the body type section, I kind of had this idea of digitally drawing some silhouettes of different heights, shapes and sizes, and allowing the player to click through arrows to select a rough estimation of what their body-type might look like. I'm going to do an art dump later this month, and I have a few sketches of what I'd kinda like to do with that, but I'm still toying with it, because even that could be a little limiting in terms of options. if any of you had thoughts on that, I'd love to hear them.

**I think it might also be cool to kind of have drawings of different hairstyles available to the characters, arranged in the card formats like the previous gender options in that same red colored sketch format.

speaking of art though--and this is purely tangential so I apologize, I'm sure you've taken notice of some of the art being repetitive--for the moment that's purposeful. I'm planning to commission some work for the cards to be implemented in a later update--so what you're seeing are just placeholders for now.

okay! with saturday's notes out of the way, plans for the rest of the week. I need to finish the timeline and then I need to make it readable to people other than myself. it is currently incomprehensible and of the few people that have gotten their eyes on it only one (1) could make sense of my mad ramblings. (shout out to friend of the game bianca from exiled from court if any of you are familiar with her or her stuff, we are  big bianca fans here.) After that I need to do some edits with the new update and such, and poke at the code.

Tonight after I post this, I'm specifically working on sending a few more emails to betas (know that sending emails is. my personal hell because of intense social anxiety. BUT we must persevere. emails will be sent tonight.) after that, I have to work on the phillip/kc/sam schedule + calendar for this month, just to keep the three of us on the same page. I'm in the process of looking at some stamps.com printers for sending out packages with this next round of physical rewards and ordering the merch (hehehe)

okay. super long update for our first one of the year, but I am so excited to get to keep working with you guys :) i'd like to thank you all for your continued support and I can't wait to show you more of the little universe i've crafted :)

until friday! i'm gonna be posting some cyrus asks/scenarios for you all to enjoy, so look forward to that! <3

[ewaneneollav]

i want a spear hurled through my navel & my guts pulled out with an anchor so that theyll fall on the floor & various dust & lint & dirt will gather on them & ill be completely exposed to whatever the world wants to have drift into me, as opposed to my near inability to intake information, to sit down & read the book that would expand my being past my tiny perspective

because "the unexamined life us not worth" living & if i go through life with none of the expansion of my being i might have undergone then was i just dead the whole time! ? so im faced with life or death, & when i sit down at the book that should push me & make it easy, i should be hungry. but i just shut down ! i don't understand

i wonder at times if this is a condition that would be reasonable to medicate or if there is just a very destroyed faculty i need to rebuild

on every level, i want to live. idont understand how life & death can feel so actively at odds in the body of one person

possibly my reading is distracted by a quiet sense of grief at having not already read what i am presently reading ; not that i expect myself to have magically known & preemptively experienced all possible media from the outset ; but it

its kind of the same grief as the grief i have about dissociation

---------- dissociation:

i think i dissociate in the way that my nervous system cannot help but to retract from an overall fabric of reality that it has felt to do nothing but hurt it deeply & continuously. at least, that is how it became after a certain point in my lifetime. maybe it is not that way anymore, but reality itself is still felt as a threatening actor, & my nervous system is a terrified cat permanently hunched in a corner, incapable of fleeing any further but nonetheless ensuring it's as far away as it can be & not a millimeter less

i have grief for all the unreclaimable duration of my life that i've spent feeling unreal & until i do feel real this grief doesn't cease accumulating still, at a rate of one second of grief per second. when i am finally real i will have to grieve & grieve & grieve & grieve & grieve & this is already my life & its already happening this way & theres no other life for me to go back & have, this is my world

[thethirdromana]

Books I read for the first time this year - 2024 edition

I did this last year, and even though no one read it, it was fun so I'm doing it again.

The Moonstone by Wilkie Collins I loved The Woman in White so much that I had to have more Wilkie Collins right away. It is aggressively of its time, but very readable and gripping all the same. And I found the ending deeply satisfying. I should read more Wilkie Collins.

Julia by Sandra Newman This is the story of 1984 retold from Julia's perspective, with extra bleakness and a somewhat odd take on the ending. I think this would have benefitted from me having read 1984 more recently. I'm glad I read it; I don't think I will ever read it again.

All Systems Red by Martha Wells I merely liked this, and feel oddly guilty for not loving it as much as the rest of tumblr seems to. Possibly this would have benefitted from me bingeing the series instead of stopping at one.

Mansfield Park by Jane Austen In the spring I decided it was time to read the two Austen novels I hadn't read before. I enjoyed Mansfield Park, though it's not destined to replace Sense and Sensibility as my favourite Austen novel. This is because Edmund, unfortunately, is a drip.

Klara and the Sun by Kazuo Ishiguro I loved Remains of the Day so much that I thought I should read more Ishiguro. There's the usual unreliable narrator and glimpses of hidden darkness that you'd expect from Ishiguro in Klara and the Sun, but it's a lighter read overall, which is to say it didn't devastate me in the way that the Remains of the Day did.

Persuasion by Jane Austen One of these novels that's so totemic it feels weird to review it. It's like saying I quite liked the ocean; the ocean doesn't care.

I quite liked it, though.

The Temeraire series by Naomi Novik The first of several recommendations from tumblr. I read the whole series one after another without a break. The amount that I enjoyed each novel was directly proportional to how much it was the Aubreyad with dragons - so the first and final books were my favourites.

Project Hail Mary by Andy Weir Lots of people have this as their favourite Andy Weir novel but I am not among them. It was just a little bit too cuddly for me, I think, and I was also well into Time To Orbit: Unknown at this point (a web serial, so I've not included it on this list), which is in a similar style but better. The title pun is great, though.

The Mystery of a Hansom Cab by Fergus Hume This is an early detective novel from before people had really figured out how the genre should work. An interesting read but not a particularly satisfying one.

The Dispossessed by Ursula Le Guin An incredible book, but I found myself wishing I could have read the version of it that Le Guin might have written later on in her career, when she came to focus less on male characters.

The Riverside Trilogy by Ellen Kushner and Delia Sherman This was another tumblr recommendation and I loved these, with the sole exception of the ending of the Fall of Kings. Queer love, sword-fighting and some of the most lavish and enticing descriptions of food that I've ever read - this is a significant percentage of I want in a novel.

The Documents in the Case by Dorothy Sayers and Robert Eustace I can't believe I hadn't read this earlier. I love Dorothy Sayers, I love the way she observes people, and I particularly love the way this novel brings a slice of the 1920s bohemian world to life. This means I have now read all of Dorothy Sayers' novels and should probably getting cracking on the short stories.

A Taste of Gold and Iron by Alexandra Rowland Another tumblr recommendation! This felt a lot like reading fanfic - the tropes (enemies to lovers!), the writing style, the way the characters bounced off each other. I enjoyed it, though I did find myself wondering how readers who weren't used to fanfic norms would feel about it.

Spirit Level by Richy Craven This was a debut novel by someone who I've followed on Twitter (and subsequently Bluesky) for ages. It's a comedy novel about a man who can only see the ghost of his dead friend when he's drunk. I found it more sweet than funny.

Jeeves and the King of Clubs by Ben Schott Jeeves and Wooster fanfiction, but with an official licence! Entirely readable, but the best of AO3 is better.

The Song of Achilles by Madeline Miller A gorgeous retelling of the Iliad from the perspective of Patroclus. The prose is lovely; the ending, a little wobbly.

Tall and Dark by Suzannah Rowntree Sometimes I download novels onto my Kindle, forget any of the context, and pick them up without any prior info. Usually that's great, but it served Tall and Dark badly. I thought that it was going to be the kind of novel that the opening made it seem (a governess who can see spirits fakes being a medium in a non-fantasy setting) instead of what it was (a romp with fantastical monsters). The monster romp was fun, but I'd probably have enjoyed it more if I'd read the blurb and been prepared for what to expect.

The Night Raven by Sarah Painter More women who can see ghosts, but this time in an urban fantasy context. I was not really in the mood for urban fantasy when I read this, which did a disservice to another readable book.

A Pale View of Hills by Kazuo Ishiguro This was Ishiguro's first novel, where he hadn't quite figured out the fine line between an unreliable narrator who hides things from the reader, and just not telling you what the fuck is going on.

The Buried Giant by Kazuo Ishiguro I did not finish this, but I got about two-thirds of the way through before giving up, so it's going on the list. This is where I went from "I like Kazuo Ishiguro" to "I like some of Kazuo Ishiguro's novels". Amazing that it's possible to make an Arthurian romp set in the early Middle Ages (two of my favourite things!) so dull.

On the Beach by Nevil Shute This was the best novel I read all year. It's the story of a small group of people in Australia, waiting for a cloud of nuclear radiation that has already killed the rest of humanity to reach them. Other writers might have shown people having crazed reactions to the end of the world; Nevil Shute shows ordinary people responding in dignified and quiet ways. It was utterly devastating.

So Disdained by Nevil Shute This was a lot lighter than On the Beach and generally fun, though the heroic role played in it by Italian fascists was uncomfortable.

Circe by Madeline Miller Good, if a little bit less well-constructed than The Song of Achilles, though some of that has to be down to the source material.

The Autobiography of Mr Spock by Una McCormack It's a truly impressive feat to synthesise the assorted contradictory Spock lore into something that makes coherent sense. Una McCormack sees the world of Star Trek as a darker place than I prefer to, and as a dedicated Spirk shipper, maybe I was never going to be entirely happy with this. It's very well-written but perhaps not quite for me.

The Anglo-Saxons by Marc Morris I realised I'd got to nearly the end of the year without reading any non-fiction. This was a great way to address that. I already knew a fair bit about the Anglo-Saxon period but this was a very enjoyable way to fill in the gaps.

Gideon the Ninth by Tamsyn Muir I gave in to the need to know what everyone on tumblr seemed to be raving about. Lesbian necromancers in space was always going to be a winner with me, though at times it was a bit Warhammer 40k-esque (mountains of skulls! rivers of blood!) for my tastes.

Lessons in Chemistry by Bonnie Garmus Overtly feminist fiction is usually my bag, but I didn't vibe with this. It's patronising towards its autistic-coded protagonist, and I wish it didn't spend quite so much time emphasising how hot she is. I could have done without the sapient dog, too.

Learned by Heart by Emma Donoghue Lesbian historical fiction featuring Anne Lister? Obviously on to a great start. The plot was a little constrained by the messiness of historical events, and there were a couple of bizarre modern references that threw me out of immersion when I reached them, which was particularly odd given how meticulous most of the research was. But I'm nitpicking: this was a gorgeous novel overall.

[gleamingtempest]

What do you think David’s MBTI, Tritype, and other possible personality typings would be by the end of Chapter Two? On PDB, opinions are largely polarized between INFJ and ESTP. Personally, I’m curious why there’s such a divide—for me, ENFJ feels like a more plausible option. It’s odd that almost no one votes for this type, and I’d love to hear your thoughts—feel free to challenge my perspective I’m no expert LOL

(I think since Fe users are deeply attuned to societal norms and the "shoulds" of human connection (like how David did in Ch1, of course he wasn’t that agreeable but acted normal because it was the right thing for a Fe dom to do); if they perceive meaninglessness or futility in these systems—like Min’s execution—they might reject external values altogether; which might manifest as cynicism toward group dynamics or a sudden retreat from Fe’s usual people-pleasing role.

I'm not too well versed on MBTI unfortunately. My understanding on why most people identity him as an INFJ instead of ESTP is due to how performance ties into his character. The duality between his idealism and cynicism is emphasized a lot so people take that to mean that everything David did before chapter two was literally a lie which he was consciously telling instead of another facet of his personality we were seeing.

I suppose that is still up for interpretation but I am inclined to agree, yeah. It seems a bit simplistic to boil him down to a cynical person who was lying to manipulate others and I'm under the impression that's the intent of the story being told.

In terms of Enneagram, I'm a bit torn I suppose. I can't really tell if he's fixated on Xander due to loyalty or idealism. If it's loyalty he's a 613 I would say(?) — I don't really think it is though. Based on what we know at least he shouldn't have had that intense of a reliance on Xander for security. I think it's more apt to say he's fixated Xander the ideal, not Xander the person.

Following that assumption, 1 or 4 are the two which immediately come to mind for me. David doesn't really seem rigid enough to be a one though honestly. 416 is where I lean. Maybe 415(?) I'm not really sure.

I haven't actually thought about Enneagram for a while so I appreciate the opportunity to brush up on it a bit. Some of my thoughts are probably a bit lacking as a result though. The lines between certain types have blurred in my head unfortunately.

In any case, I hope this was insightful, helpful or engaging. Thanks for reading. Take care and be well. 👋 Cheers.

[orpheushead]

introspective nonsense but it’s interesting when the majority of your friends are systems because i’ve started considering personal identity as only a fraction of a greater whole, except—i am not part of a greater whole. it’s very empty up here, except it’s Not empty, because there’s no space to fill in the first place. but it’s still odd. i’m part of the majority in Society but the minority among my friends. my brain doesn’t cordon off emotions and ideas and whatnot and assemble them into a person Made to hold onto them. i just hold onto them and they have nowhere to go. i’m not saying this to be like boohoo i dont have a severe trauma disorder im just reflecting on how i think im in an interesting position and how it’s shifting my perspective on identity

[watermelinoe]

hii. I feel really odd doing this but I have nobody to ask for advice in real life and I can't post to reddit because surprise surprise all the radical feminist/gender critical subreddits got taken down, and you seem like a kind intelligent individual who might have good thoughts

so, my best friend whose fake name will be Aspen, and who in all honestly I've been completely in love with since we were seated next to each other in seventh grade pre algebra when I was eleven years old (I have never told them although I'm kind of awful at hiding it) is female but identifies as non-binary, and uses they/them (which is what I'm using here because I use those pronouns for them in real life and it feels odd to change that just in this ask). I was raised by a radical feminist philosopher, and I am itching to say who but then my cover would be completely blown, and I share almost all of her views, including the gender-critical ones.

the thing is that when I met Aspen and became absolutely enamored with who they are as a person and for about a year after that, I too identified as nonbinary and was very anti-radfem. I have since detransitioned and gone back to my birth name and everything and Aspen has been incredibly supportive, but I have never told them how my views have shifted about "transgender" politics. I have brought it up without explicitly stating it, we had a conversation where I genuinely inquired about how they felt their "gender identity" was different from simply being a gender non conforming woman and how being trans is supposedly different from identifying with the gender roles of another gender. they did not dismiss me and we actually had a productive conversation which really shows you how kind and smart they are. I think I introduced some new perspectives that may or may not end up being actionable on their part because as of now they haven't brought it up again though they did definitely seem receptive and genuinely thought about it.

obviously, I think that their gender identity and subsequent trans politics have been heavily influenced by general patriarchy and societal values, but as most radical feminists do, I do not at all believe that this is their fault. but I feel like I can't try to help them without alienating them or making them feel as if I don't love them or that I believe them to be broken in some way, especially given that they've identified this way since before I knew them and were very severely bullied for it growing up. for me, their identity and politics do not change the fact that they're my first and only love, and hands-down the kindest and most compassionate person I've ever met.

I adore them and I do not know how to balance that and my commitment to radical feminism, both of which I would fight to the death defending but which seem to inherently contradict each other, and I feel like I cannot do this juggling act forever and need to somehow make them understand what's behind their identity, keeping in mind their background, without breaking their heart and their trust in me as a person and a friend.

I'm so sorry to leave this in your askbox and you are not at all obligated to respond to it but you seem like someone who might have some insight

xM

i think this is comparable to loving someone who is deeply religious when you are an atheist. do you see yourself single-handedly deconstructing their faulty belief system? you can't make someone come to the conclusions you want them to, especially not a deeply held and essentially spiritual belief that is not rooted in reality. of course you can love someone despite a fundamental difference in beliefs, but you can't expect to change them, and that's okay. your commitment to radical feminism isn't evangelical, you're not responsible for converting other women and you're not only allowed to associate with other "believers." the connections we make with other women, meeting them where they are, are material and vital. it's fine to gently press back against her beliefs, and you should feel comfortable being open with yours.

[tiredapocalypse]

yesterday, we were arguing about psychology

someone said that if you study it, then you're going to get a new perspective and understand why the field is like that and why you shouldn't be so doubtful of it, that it's not psychology's fault that some bad apples exist and ruin it for their pacients

i study it. it's the 4th year. im getting a master's degree in clinical psychology, just like them. but the more i study, the more in contact i am with it, the more i realize how unfair this whole system is, how, no matter how good your intention, the fact that it's based in outdated ideas is going to end up hurting people, one way or another. everytime i go to class, someone, the majority of people, is ready to point a finger at a child and blame them for making their parents' lives hell, especially if there's the slightest hint of autism. do they even think about how they might harm them?

i swear, everyday i get sicker and sicker and want to run away from there. i'm not against therapy, it can be helpful and save lives, but the way it happens? how expensive it is? how little focus there is in social issues and how sometimes we can't do anything because the root of someone's problems is in society? and let's not talk about the amount of ignorance some people have. i have seen people being racist, transphobic, support abusive relationships, and none of that is seen as bad or odd. i've been dead named by future therapists, whilst the teachers insisted that we need to support everyone regardless of their views. acceptance above all, they preach, but where is it? at the end of it all, we need to fit into tiny boxes of what society finds "normal", or else we aren't "cured".

i don't hate psychology and, as much as i bitch about it, i don't hate psychiatry. but there's a serious need for change and we need to start at the roots of our beliefs and why we insist on using flaky or outdated practices .

[rockofeye]

A Note on Voting

Though early voting has been happening for awhile, tomorrow is the official federal Election Day in the United States. Some folks have asked what I as a vodouizan think.

It is my belief that the primary general concern of the lwa is liberation for all their children and, after that, all of the world. There is no liberation where inequity exists, and the state of the world in inherent inequity, powered by capitalism and it's diseased offspring, White supremacy. The model and lived reality of Haitian Vodou presents us with a look at what a world where capitalism does not carry ultimate weight and where White supremacy does not have the loudest voice looks like. It's not a beatific vision because we live in a truly imperfect world no matter how much we strive to drive out the colonial voice.

We are in a terrible situation in the US. Our current election between an out-and-proud fascist who has slowly been losing his mind live on TV for the last six months and a cop with a smile who can't find her way to condemn sending US bombs to a genocidal state bent on killing children. There is no viable third party system when the third party candidates are endorsed by David fucking Duke and are Trojan horses for Republican interests, dressed in a rainbow hat and hemp shoes.

Our political system is both out of control and deeply broken. There is no candidate that represents my interests or the interests of my family and communities. There is no liberation of the ticket and there won't be, no matter how I squint at it.

So what do we do?

In my professional life, I am a committed harm reductionist, which I view as a form of liberation. I help people design solutions that preserve their lives, even when the decisions they are making seem at odds with that. We plan how to inject drugs without dying and how to engage in sex work without getting arrested. We look for what is workable and what gets us to the next day.

I use that in talking about voting. What is going to get us to the next day with the least amount of loss? What is most workable?

A vote for the Republican candidate is a vote that will put hundreds of thousands of immigrants in danger. It will remove health and social safety nets, and it will enshrine White evangelical Christian nationalism as the national system of governance. Public education goes, birth control goes, divorce goes, public health services go...and on and on. Their playbook has been public. If the Creamsicle colored would-be dictator manages to die or gets hit with the 25th amendment stick, the Stepford Senator gets the seat and, from a personal perspective, that is who I am actually scared of.

From a community standpoint, Haitians (and others) will die as a direct result of both the fear mongering and plans for mass deportation of non-citizens (which includes everyone from folks who crossed the border without paperwork to legal permanent residents) back to a country currently so fragile that a case of strep throat can be a death sentence.

Is the Democratic candidate going to radically change the quality of life for any of us? Likely not, but I think she is workable. I think she can be pressured and frankly publicly harassed into addressing public interest issues. I think, at the very least, she has a manner of humanity and can at least accept that human suffering exists and that the answer is not threats to shut down television networks or state that opponents should be shot. I am nervous about her border policies, but I also think it is less likely she is going to start executing people at the border, like her Republican peer has suggested.

Lots of folks refuse to vote for the Democratic nominee because of her refusal to condemn genocide. I don't disagree and I wish I could justify that to myself, but what scratches me in the back of the head is what if this mess comes down to hundreds of votes? What if the national count is less than a five thousand vote margin? How will I feel or live with myself if I don't suck it up and do it, and Project 2025 becomes law? What happens to all the people I know who want to vote but are unable to?

So, I will take a deep breath and vote what part of my square peg conscience I can fit into the round hole on my ballot. I will vote down the ticket in the same way, because the Senate and the House are as important, if not more.

If this massive moment of social anxiety is soothed by the outcome, it can't be seen as the end. It is a stopgap and an opportunity to demand real, tangible change. Ties must be cut with genocidal states and sanctions placed. Funds must be directed to assist our unhoused neighbors. The process of immigration must be made simpler and the obligation of a world superpower to receive those fleeing the countries we have destabilized must be recognized. Children need to stop being killed by US bombs and we need to stop poisoning our world.

This will be a time of accountability in the word towards liberation. It will be an invitation to be a co-conspirator to the vision of abolition embodied by Haitian Vodou and the lwa, and it's really up to us whether we pick it up and run or if we collectively fuck it up again. I'm hoping for our resiliency in the faces of these systems of oppression.

No matter the situation, the lwa bring hope, and I hope for the opportunity to not live under violent fascism. Living under passive fascism is hard enough. I'm hoping for a less wrenching outcome than many of us fear, and I will be saying my prayers and sitting as anxiously as many of you. Have a drink or a snack and be secure in the knowledge that our liberation is our responsibility, and they can't stop it.

Be blessed.

[deadn30n-arch]

FAREWELL, WILLOW TREE. ( CH. 1 )

a note from the author: hello! this story is an SVSSS ( Scum Villain Self-Saving System ) and Honkai Star Rail crossover inspired by a storyline created through rp with my friend @yingren / @vainrot. ( if you aren't following east i highly recommend it, i love him dearly and he's a great inspiration for me ♥ ) it follows the plot of Jing Yuan && Ying Ren initially being transmigrated into Cang Qiong Sect. later, they return home with Liu Qingge && Yue Qingyuan being reverse transmigrated onto the Xianzhou Luofu themselves. the pairings are Yue Qingyuan/Jing Yuan and Ying Ren/Liu Qingge. this story is written from the perspective of Yanqing, who was 'adopted' by Liu Qingge and partially trained by him in our canon.

tw for: character death & mild depictions of gore in later chapters.

please keep in mind this was written purely for mine and East's enjoyment. comments are absolutely welcome, but i am not looking for constructive criticism on my writing style. thank you! keep in mind, also, it's been more than ten years since i last wrote fanfiction. the pacing and wording might come off a little odd even after heavily editing this, i'm so sorry. ;_; non-mutuals and personals may interact. font has been condensed to <small> text.

i just watched as the door closed for good, because i couldn't keep it open. (song)

“ from this day forward, i am an enemy of Xianzhou Luofu. you and i are no longer tied to one another, General Jing Yuan. “  these were the words boldly spoken by Liu Qingge as he held the sharp edge of Cheng Luan against Jing Yuan’s throat. the crowd of onlookers watched with a mixture of disbelief and horror, perched on the edge of uncertainty, wondering what would happen next. would Jing Yuan turn the tables? would he exchange places with the man who ruthlessly betrayed him, after being given every comfort he could’ve asked for? or would he bend the knee and allow Liu Qingge to escape unscathed?

Liu Qingge was a fierce master. a skilled swordsman from another dimension  –  he possessed insurmountable strength and once won the hearts of everyone in the Luofu with his unique power alone. cultivators were a myth in this land  –  the only other person closest to holding that title was Jing Yuan’s retainer, Yanqing. so it came as no surprise that Cloud Knights soon trained diligently beneath Liu Qingge day in and day out, young children flocked to learn the basics of martial arts, and even the Yanqing had become nestled under his wing, on the personal request of Jing Yuan himself.

he was given a home, a training ground, and could request almost anything he wanted and have it fulfilled without question. so everyone couldn’t help but wonder  –  what had driven this infallible master to turn and sink it’s teeth into the hand of the one that took care of it? nobody could figure it out; everyone always saw Liu Qingge as a pillar of righteousness swathed in a shawl of justice.

Yanqing, most of all.

the child was standing there near his shibo, Yue Qingyuan, watching with eyes wide as saucers. those twin golden pools, too, had become soaked in disbelief. he refused to believe that Liu Qingge, the man he looked up to in every aspect of the word, would ever dare to hold Jing Yuan hostage like this. it didn’t make sense  –  it wasn’t possible! he had to be dreaming. yes, this was certainly a dream…

it all happened so fast, nobody could determine just how Liu Qingge did it, not even Yanqing with his sharp eyes. Jing Yuan was the most guarded person on this ship, yet, unexpectedly he was suddenly overwhelmed by Liu Qingge in a split second and had one of his hands pinned behind his back, a sword braced against his neck. the slightest bit of movement and it’d slice through skin.

what was most perplexing was the calmness in Jing Yuan’s eyes. like the surface of a tranquil pool left undisturbed. he stood there like this wasn’t anything out of the ordinary  –  like the man he once praised wasn’t about to relieve him of his head. it left most of the crowd feeling unsettled, but many of those onlookers trusted their general, and believed he would find a way out.

silence reigned for what felt like an eternity, until a deep baritone rumbled through the air, splitting it in two.  “ it’s time to go. “  this voice was unfamiliar to most, but some knew it better than the back of their own hand. some had spent hundreds of years with it at one point…

the sound of footsteps came from the west, and everyone turned their heads at once to see none other than the stellaron hunter Ying Ren approaching slowly. his movements were unhurried, languid, and his expression bore no discernable emotions for anyone to pick out. nobody could tell what he was thinking, or why he’d come.

with those words, Liu Qingge lowered his blade and suddenly shoved Jing Yuan forward. the general actually stumbled a few steps, but was caught by the gentle hands of his husband, who looked as if he were grieving. it was a widely known fact that Yue Qingyuan and Liu Qingge hailed from the same star, and Yue Qingyuan even helped Liu Qingge train his disciples from time to time. this is why many referred to him as ‘shibo’. they were very close, the best of friends. he stared at Liu Qingge’s impassive expression and pursued his lips.  “ shidi, you really shouldn’t do this. “

“ shouldn’t i? who says i can’t? you? “  Liu Qingge shot back.  “ pardon my rudeness, zhangmen-shixiong, but you aren’t a sect leader anymore. you’re just his lapdog. i don’t have to follow your orders anymore. “  Liu Qingge’s words were as sharp and cold as icicles. he wielded them like a weapon and jammed each one into Yue Qingyuan’s chest. with a turn of his wrist and a twirl of his blade, he sheathed Cheng Luan and turned his back on Yue Qingyuan and Jing Yuan  –  on everything he’d once held in high esteem, and cast his eyes on Ren, who now stood mere inches in front of him.

the tension was so heavy, nobody dared breathe. 

Liu Qingge flickered his gaze out toward the crowd  –  among them were countless cloud knights, as well as many of the young children who often clung to his robes. his eyes were so hard it made quite a few of them tremble. they were all wondering the same thing; was he always this heartless? did he care at all for any of us?

just when the anticipation had reached it’s climax  –  when it felt like nobody could stand waiting any longer, Liu Qingge did the most astonishing thing yet.

he took hold of Ren’s hand.

“ let’s go. “  these two words, coupled with this brazen display of intimacy, gave all the insight everyone present needed to know. Liu Qingge was in collaboration with the stellaron hunters. and not just any stellaron hunter either, but one of the greatest enemies of the Luofu  –  Ying Ren. confusion burst like the buzzing of bees; murmurs spread faster than fire on dry wood, and people began to tremble in fear or shuffle away, attempting to put more distance between themselves as the two in front of them. Liu Qingge hardly paid any of them mind.

he let Ren lead the way and the two of them began to retreat in the opposite direction, away from the scene, until the ear-splitting screech of steel meeting steel rent through the air.

it took everyone a minute to realize that Liu Qingge had once again unsheathed Chen Luan just in time to dispel a soaring blade that was aimed straight for his back. a couple more sped toward him, but he parried them with ease. as if they were nothing more than flies buzzing around his head. 

a child now stood in front of him. there was fury in his eyes, and pain too. the pain of betrayal. Yanqing held fast his sword, never letting it slip, and pointed it straight at Liu Qingge’s heart. he looked to be on the verge of tears, eyes rimmed red, but no wetness slid from their golden depths quite yet.  “ shizun. you can stop pretending now. “  he ground out between grit teeth.

Liu Qingge only stared at him apprehensively. he asked; “ who’s pretending? “

“ you are. you aren’t this kind of person. “

“ i’m not? “

“ no. “ “ and who told you to decide that for me? you’ve spent all these years under my tutelage, and still you’ve just proven you’re actually stupid. “ those words cut through Yanqing with the same kind of pain he might’ve felt if Liu Qingge had actually thrust Cheng Luan through his chest. his pupils shrank and his mouth fell slightly agape. Liu Qingge was an incredibly difficult man to deal with, the strictest of masters, but even he would never say these cruel things to Yanqing. even when Yanqing pestered him with a slew of questions, or texted him multiple times in a row, or caused him any manner of headache. the master Yanqing knew was hard as steel on the outside, but capable of the same warmth as sunlight clinging to fresh blossom petals. 

he could yell at Yanqing, but he could also be patient with him. he would push him to practise beyond his limits, but then treat him to a nice meal he even played the guqin for him sometimes while they sat beneath the willow tree behind Liushu Pavilion. that was the real Liu Qingge, not this frigid beast in front of him. not whatever was burning holes in his flesh with that intense stare.

a tear teetered and slid from the corner of Yanqing’s eye as his face screwed up into something ugly. he wanted to blame Ying Ren for all of this, he’d long since been aware of their secret affair, but he tolerated it because Jing Yuan did. because he knew a vague summary of the history between Jing Yuan, Liu Qingge, Yue Qingyuan, and Ying Ren. he thought it’d be fine as long as Ying Ren didn’t cause too much trouble for Jing Yuan or Liu Qingge.

but he never imagined it’d go so far. he didn’t think Ying Ren would turn his shizun away from the entire Luofu. he was simply incapable of accepting otherwise.

and he wouldn’t ever know this was all rehearsed from the start. a plan.

it wasn’t actually Ying Ren’s idea  –  it’d always been Liu Qingge’s from the start. this was something he had discussed in length with everyone but Yanqing. Jing Yuan, Yue Qingyuan, and Ying Ren knew of Liu Qingge’s plan  &&  knew why he chose this path, but he had specifically forbidden them from letting Yanqing ever find out. in his mind, it was better he’d be perceived as a traitor, than drag out the thin thread of disappointment Yanqing felt whenever he saw Liu Qingge and Ying Ren hidden away together. he didn’t want to break the boy’s heart, he actually had a soft spot for that child.

when Liu Qingge looked at Yanqing, he was reminded of his own youth and the days of peace he spent under his own shizun’s guidance. and while he, himself, was incapable of perfectly emulating the grace and gentleness of Ye Muchen, his predecessor, he still found ways to dote on Yanqing in a manner befitting of his own personality. he always adamantly refused to acknowledge Yanqing as his disciple, yet deep down inside, if this was Bai Zhan Peak  –  he wouldn’t have hesitated to choose him as the next in line to being Peak Lord.

the child was incredible in his own ways. he now carried the strength and skills of not just the Xianzhou Luofu’s Cloud Knights, but Cang Qiong Sect’s Bai Zhan Peak too. in truth, Liu Qingge would’ve liked to have imparted a bit more of his knowledge onto him, but the loneliness in his heart just couldn’t be withstood anymore. he’d had his fill of a peaceful life on the Luofu, it was time he joined his husband at last.

it was time he voluntarily turned himself into a criminal for the sake of love.

Yanqing finally stammered out. “ s-shizun… “

“ don’t call me that. “  snapped Liu Qingge.  “ there’s nothing between us anymore. we aren’t master and disciple. i’m not fit to be called that by you. “

Yanqing looked stunned by this. i’m not fit to be called that by you. Liu Qingge wasn’t demeaning Yanqing this time, but himself instead. Yanqing tried to open his mouth, but was met with a beam of spiritual power flung his way. this thin sword glare barely scraped past his face and carved a deep groove into the floor of the ship. it was only a fraction of Liu Qingge’s spiritual power, but it was enough to terrify those who watched this scene unfold.

“ if you’re dissatisfied with my decision, then train hard enough so you can defeat me. after you’ve taken my head, you will inherit my legacy. “ 

Yanqing stiffened where he stood when he heard that. he hadn’t been frightened by that burst of spiritual power; he knew better than anyone Liu Qingge wouldn’t kill indiscriminately. he was strong enough that if he really wanted to, he could’ve taken every life present here, including Yanqing’s. but he was holding back  –  perhaps to make a point. Yanqing was struck dizzy by those words. they reminded him of a conversation the two of them had not so long ago, when Liu Qingge had handed Cheng Luan over to Yanqing and instructed him to practise with it.

” but shizun, this is your sword? why am i using it? “ Yanqing had said, wide-eyed.

Liu Qingge only observed him in silence after that question,  before deciding to answer it with another question of his own. “ do you feel it? focus on what’s in your hands right now. “

“ huh? “  Yanqing struggled to understand what he meant by that until he turned all of his attention to the blade. only then did he become aware of the immense spiritual qi circulating through it, and flowing up into his own body like a river. “ i… i do! “ he’d exclaimed, awe-struck.  “ is this what shizun’s power feels like? “

Liu Qingge nodded at him in affirmation.

“ i’ve instructed Cheng Luan to accept you as it’s master. though you’ll never be able to use it to it’s full potential, the blade will answer you. after i’m gone, you will inherit Cheng Luan, as well as haoyu, my master’s guqin. one day, you will inherit my legacy.”

what he said in the present was identical to what he said back then. but if Yanqing had known that ‘inheriting his legacy’ meant potentially taking his own master’s head, he never would’ve enthusiastically agreed and spent the whole afternoon practising with Cheng Luan. he would’ve stubbornly defied his shizun’s words and shoved the blade back into his hands. Yanqing didn’t want this, he didn’t want any of this–

everything was wrong. nothing was as it should be. things weren’t supposed to end up this way…

Yanqing wanted desperately to step up and yank Liu Qingge back over to his side, grab his grey-blue sleeve and beg that he change his mind, yet he hadn’t the strength to beat him. if he engaged him now, he’d lose miserably. so he could only watch helplessly as Liu Qingge again turned his back on him, and disappeared into the distance. 

with his figure grew smaller and smaller by the second, Yanqing felt his heart crumble into pieces.

[ibukirewritten]

Illuminated Fortune: The Tale of Kagetsu - A Breeze of Silver, Dancing Leaves of Red: Episode 6

Content Warning: Kidnapping

“If I only resist injustice in ways that benefit myself…”

← Previous Episode | Masterlist | Next Episode →

[ For improved formatting, try reading on your desktop. ♪ ]

Season: Summer

Location: Warehouse

Keito: (These bastards are just using me as a pawn…)

(From how it sounds, Taki must have posed some kind of obstacle in their attempts to purchase the land that his home is built atop.)

(Those comments about coming to Okinawa and mobilizing… Were they all in reference to Taki? Did this situation influence his choice to suddenly come here?)

(They thanked him… Does that mean he capitulated to their demands…?)

(These people are holding me hostage to pressure him into submission.)

(…I’m… their tool…)

(Was this… what Taki warned me of that night…?)

Flashback

Location: Rhythm Link Meeting Space

Ibuki: Bye-bye, Hasumi-san. 

Keito: Until tomorrow, Taki. Goodnight.

Ibuki: Ah, by the wa~y, don’t keep your head down too much, ’kay~?

You might find you’ve wandered into a cage~.

Flashback End

Location: Warehouse

Keito: (Taki was shocked to run into AKATSUKI here, so there’s no way he could have foreseen this happening. Even so, that sentiment he expressed at the time…)

(Did I inadvertently endanger myself by ignoring my surroundings? Did I… somehow resign myself to this role of helplessness?)

(His words seem pertinent, yet I am vigilant. I’ve been looking out for AKATSUKI, taking measures to defend us against Rhythm Link’s suppression and sabotage attempts.)

(That determination to protect AKATSUKI was what facilitated the decision to bring Taki into my circle. When he ran off, I chased after him on my own volition.)

(It would be plainly false to say I've cast aside my own agency...)

(Still, I have this unshakeable feeling that the things Taki said to me then—the complaints he leveraged against me, even—may be the insight I need to realize what has happened here...)

(I really tried to defy the constraints closing in on me. But was it somehow misguided…? I’m more powerless than I was before.)

(...When Taki questioned why I align myself with ES, I thought he was just a rebellious child being contrarian. But the hurt and anger in his eyes when he hurled those allegations at me yesterday… That was genuine…)

(I think I finally understand.)

(A little while ago, I swore to myself I would protect Taki. But I had failed him already, without even recognizing it.)

(That is why he is disappointed in me.)

(I wasn’t just projecting my ideals onto him. I was… complicit.)

(I told Taki I would uphold the very institution that is promoting—no, engaging in the oppression of his homeland.)

(Last night, I wondered why he was so troubled during that conversation when I spoke of nothing but AKATSUKI. But, that must have been precisely what upset him.)

(He thought he had found an ally, someone who was similarly at odds with the despotic ways of Ensemble Square.)

(Taki called our relationship one-sided, because, from his perspective, I let him down.)

(The aid AKATSUKI extended—offering exposure in the industry and attempting to steer his etiquette to help him fit in—was not what he was seeking.)

(What he instead discovered was that I was content enough with a system that has brought him and people he cares about suffering.)

(During SS, Ensemble Square practically invaded Okinawa.[^1] I was present for that. And now, even AKATSUKI is entangled in the fallout of its meddling.)

(“Playing rebellious…” That guy said that to mock me for refusing his twisted praise. But, in a way, isn’t it a little true?)

(If I only resist injustice in ways that benefit myself… and if I never get to the root of the problem…)

(I won’t go along with this.)

(I have to escape. I have to make things right.)

[ ☆ ]

← Previous Episode | Masterlist | Next Episode →

Footnote 1: See "Submarine" from the Main Story for more details.

[circular-bircular]

Christianity and Plurality

I want to preface this with a few different things. 

Firstly, I don’t fully identify with the label plural, even if I used to; I struggle to see my plurality as “plurality,” even if I do technically fall under that label. I’ve been working on finding a good alternative, but at the end of the day, I still associate with certain plural ideals and symbols, and regardless of how much I’d rather not associate with that community, I am forcibly put into that community due to my disorder. I feel qualified to talk about plurality from a personal experience lens, but as always, do not take my word as the one and only truth.

Secondly, I have wavered somewhere between Christian, Agnostic, Atheist, and various other styles of “ex-Christian who is traumatized by the religion.” I’m not entirely sure what label to apply to my religious ideals, particularly as, I didn’t think I’d be figuring this out due to… syscourse, of all fucking things. Through all of this, I think I’ve determined I am Christian, just… loosely.

Lastly, connecting to the syscourse point: I really don’t want to make this post. The only reason I am is because I haven’t seen people who share my perspective speaking out, despite knowing that many do, and I figure… If I won’t, who will? As a Christian who struggles with modern Christianity, and a system who struggles with modern Plurality(™), I feel the need to speak up about all this drama lately regarding the topic of a Plural God, and how it is negatively impacting me. I want to speak my truth, y’know? 

So, let’s talk about it.

When I was still going to church weekly, I was part of both the children’s worship and the more adult sermons. I watched the sermons for adults before heading downstairs to work with the children and see their lesson. By and large, I appreciated the latter far more than the former, as I felt it got to the core of the religion without frustrating semantics and vague ideas. 

In all of these spaces, when the topic of the Holy Trinity was mentioned, it was… odd and definitely confusing for me, especially as someone who struggles with AND without things being seen in absolutes. I’m unsure what denomination I fell under (my parents refused to inform me, saying we’re all the same under God) but the approach was the same for the three different churches I recall attending.

The Holy Trinity (the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit) was a triad of things. The Father was God, the Son was Jesus, and the Holy Spirit was what came after Jesus’s death. However, it was secondly the phrase, “My God is three-in-one,” referring to the idea that God is present in all of those ideals, having given the world Jesus, and having predetermined Jesus’ sacrifice to save us from our sins. Lastly, the Holy Trinity was a concept and belief, and that was what was focused on the most. See, the denominations I was raised in specified that belief in God and the Son and the Holy Spirit were just that: a belief. That our belief in God is what made us worthy of salvation, and thus, the Spirit of God was in all of us. 

It was known to me that God was not also Jesus and was not also the Holy Spirit. They were separate, but each part informed the other, and our understanding of those three separate parts formed one unified belief.

With this new rise of the comments that God is an endogenic system… It feels incredibly disjointed from the childhood beliefs I’d learned and absorbed. Suddenly, my belief is something that isn’t factored in; the Holy Spirit is now something solid and tangible, an entity rather than my faith in Christ and the Lord. The best comparison I’ve been able to come to is how people play with Greek myth, making it more modernized while ignoring the original premise and meaning behind the myths -- No, no, Persephone wanted to marry Hades, really (ignoring the kidnapping of Greek maidens and the betrayal inherent to motherhood, yada yada yada yada).

If God were an endogenic system, suddenly, Jesus’s sacrifice is the death of God as well (as headmates share the same body). Unless people are attempting to say that Jesus’s death was only innerworld, in which case, we’re now saying, “The death that led to the salvation of humanity from eternal damnation was entirely in the innermind of God.” 

It removes the human element of everyone else in these biblical stories. It removes the human context, the failure of humanity (and the successes) from the core essence of Christianity and centers instead solely on this idea of plurality. 

Then we get to the Holy Spirit, and it all breaks down more. Now the endogenic headmate of God is inside of me? Now you’re stating that my belief is on the same level as my parts; but it’s not. God is not in my head — he’s in my heart and soul. He’s not an alter. 

I will say, this is no fault of those who are sharing this headcanon, but I want to add it to provide context for why people may be feeling particularly heated about this topic. I’m currently in a very stressful time in my life, and this discussion of a plural God has made me start thinking about all of this at an incredibly poor time. Made me start thinking about the concept of the Holy Spirit being an alter, rather than the presence of God’s love in me, and how it’s suddenly more concrete. This has been sending my demonic and angelic alters into quite a tizzy, especially as one of those demons (Numb) is a protector who is certain I’ll be splitting a fucking Jesus introject.

Needless to say, this wouldn’t be good for us.

But do you see how the spiral arises?

I will say, I don’t feel that the belief that God is an endogenic system is inherently bad, and having a belief in God that could negatively impact someone else’s view of God or even just them as a person is not on that person’s shoulders. Again, I only mention the splitting thing because I want people to understand that these topics are stressful — and not just for “ridiculous anti-endos.” 

I’m also not saying it’s bad to play around with the concept of God and adopt new beliefs that are outside the norm. Quite the contrary; I’m sitting here with the belief that God is a genderless being using He/Him and They/Them in conjunction, that Jesus qualifies as trans and queer, and that Joseph and his technicolor dreamcoat put on a stellar drag show for the Pharaoh, his lover. I know plenty of Christians who would have a heart attack at these ideas.

The issue I do have is that those who are saying that God is an endogenic plural are not doing so (excuse the pun) in good faith.

When I say that Jesus is trans, I do not do so to “raise awareness of transness in Christian spaces” or to “own the bigots and reclaim Christianity.” I do so because I genuinely believe it to be true, and I like to share that truth. I share it to help others gain more perspective about religion, not about transness. I also share it with those I know would receive it, as I don’t want to push others away from the concept of transness or Christianity by offending them -- religion should not be the starter course of acceptance.

And yet, in all of the discussions I’ve seen of this topic, it has not felt that anyone is actually saying this because they truly believe it. It doesn’t feel like people are saying this to share their joy and wonderment about finding themselves in their religion. It feels instead like people who are purposefully trying to bait anger or confusion in order to manipulate people into learning something, or even simply to be cruel. As a teacher, and as someone who was also manipulated by the church, I can attest that manipulating people in this way doesn’t… help. Why are people purposefully seeking anger? This literally goes directly against the edicts of the God you’re theorizing about. 

In the past few weeks, I’ve seen more vitriol at the “colonizing homophobic Christian bigots” than I’ve seen for years, particularly as I’ve tried to avoid any mentions of my religion in public after years of abuse (both from my religious parents, and from non-religious peers). I try to avoid it because people form assumptions about me if I mention my religion, even in passing. Let’s not forget the poll that stemmed from this that lumped all Christians under the straight white label, an issue that persists and that queer Christians have tried to fight for goddamn years. 

And all of these people are going on about a plural God. 

It just feels… disconnected. Like the people saying this don’t actually say it to connect to God, but rather, to tread on those religious beliefs for their own agenda. It feels like people using my religion for their own means, without actually caring a lick about the meaning behind what I believe. 

And that’s why I’m hurt. 

I ask kindly that people consider not using a religion they don’t believe in for their crusade for more acceptance of Endogenic systems, or at least, to do so with the intention of actually interacting with the religion as more than a simple mythology. Please try to consider the context of these stories, the power behind these beliefs, and the impact that imposing modern systems (another good pun) on these beliefs could have.