#perspective is odd because i am a system

[intrepidhyena]

Everything must move on

I guess maybe its time.

I just never know what to put first.

We would have fought any storm for you. Crossed any ocean (you promised us we would).

Theyd give almost anything To hear you laugh again and be the reason for it - to see you Really smile. To hear you talk about Soulmates.

I hope we never see you again.

I hope we do, so I can tell you all the things that start with Fuck You

But that would make us the person you were afraid we were and I dont want to prove your shitty accusations right.

They want you to know theyre sorry for all the things they did that hurt you - for the days their wounds bled claws and vitriol and snide remarks.

But we were the medic, right? We werent SUPPOSED to bleed. It Must have been our Fault. Right?

(It wasnt our fault).

(It shouldnt have taken 2 years of therapy to beleive that).

FUCK YOU.

I want You to know how sorry You should be for everything you put them through. I want you to remember every well intentioned lie, every promise you never kept, every hypocritical holier-than-thou speech you gave them - and i hope you KNOW you were the very thing you purport to hate.

i want you to know what You did.

You can take your ‘ love ’ and shove it up your ass. Because youre the reason they will Never trust anyone like that ever again.

Everything we ever let go of had claw marks in it. We dont like giving up. (If giving up was an option we wouldnt be here). (So its not an option, there is no other choice). The trick is - dont hold onto anyone.

They will never believe that people Mean their promises. They will always be expecting the rug pull. The someone-better. The slowly yawning distance only bridged by your denial.

That part's just Sad.

Of course they stopped talking to you - you made it clear you werent listening. Everyone elses stories were the truth and they were a Liar and you forgave your Favorite but you never let us forget our mistakes.

You expected us to forgive Yours. But you Stood behind your Favorite when They decided how the world should be. Made to order for them because fuck trying to understand each other, right?

I still cant fucking beleive you did the same thing to us that you Villanized us for not stopping from happening to you.

Makes me want to laugh like something with too many teeth, painted in black and red.

Getting away from you was the best thing we've ever done. We maybe never would have met each other if it hadnt happened that way. Its some stupid irony That we are the best version of us we've ever been and we are so many things you hate. I hope youre dissapointed in us. I hope one day You walk past us on the street and you feel your soul clawing towards theirs but you dont recognize us.

I hope one day we forget you and you stop smiling in our nightmares. I hope one day they stop seeing your ghost everywhere.

Ive started burning your mail. Change your fucking address.

[hannie-dul-set]

the ethics of belief — [p.sh].

SYNOPSIS. you’ve been noticing some signs that park sunghoon seems to have a problem with you, and you’re resolute to getting a straight confirmation or denial from him rather than taking the signs as they are and believing in the worst. it’s less troublesome that way. you’d much rather believe what he’d say than spend the remaining two and half-years mulling over something that doesn’t even matter. 

meanwhile, park sunghoon also harbors his own unvoiced beliefs about you and your person. the issue arises when that belief starts to fester under the seams of certainty and doubt— a firm credence denied from the opportunity of validation. 

and that’s when the belief of oneself usually starts to fall apart.

PAIRING. park sunghoon x female! reader. GENRE. college! au, classmates! au, strangers to one-sided enemies/academic rivals to friends to lovers to exes to [redacted], romance, angst, hurt/comfort, humor, drama, inspired by my nth reread of the manhwa “cheese in the trap.”  WARNINGS. swearing, an initial unhealthy dynamic that gets better with time, misogyny, daddy issues LMAO, dishonesty, ulterior motives HUAHA, self-sabotage, talks of insecurities, so much academic dumps and word vomits, the mc’s are political science students that enough deserves a warning, more tba. WORD COUNT. est. 15-20k. preview 2.5k.

TAGLIST. i will be completely transparent and say that i may or may not even get to finish this HAHAHAH nevertheless, if you’re interested, just shoot an ask/dm/reply!

NOTE. i am.....up to something yet again HHAHAHHAHA. was really inspired to write something like this after rereading cheese in the trap!!! it took me while to decide which kpop boy i should subject to my whims this time, and idk why i even bothered mulling it over when hoon was literally the perfect fit for this perfectionist, passionate, paranoid male lead 😔😔. quite different tone than the fics i usually write (quarter life crisis time). anyhow, i hope this piques your interest! enjoy!

preview under the cut.

“YOU’RE SITTING ON THE COUCH, WHEN YOU HEAR A KNOCK. The police have arrived to arrest your spouse— for murder. This accusation comes as a total shock, but their fingerprints were found on the murder weapon. Your spouse insists they’re innocent. Should you believe your spouse, even though the evidence against them looks damning? This, class, is a classic example of an ethical dilemma.”

There is a guy from your major that you’ve recently come to notice.

“Discussed by Alex Worsnip, this question covers the ethics of belief through various lenses, including evidentialism and pragmatism—”

Well. It’s not as if you’ve never noticed him before.

“It was W.K. Clifford who coined the term the ethics of belief in his 1876 book under the same name. He forwarded the evidentialist view of belief in determining the correct, or moral, way of viewing a situation or problem— that is, by believing things based on the evidence at hand. However, this is not the only perspective we can use to anchor our respective belief systems.”

It’s just that for the past two months you’ve known him, you’ve noticed that his behavior around you has been quite…odd, in comparison to the rest of your peers.

“Now, let us go back to the problem I’ve presented earlier. Hmm. Let’s see the attendance list—”

He was the first person you were introduced to during the pre-academic-year-get-together when you came back after spending the previous semester in a government sponsored exchange program to the U.S. In fact, it was very hard not to notice him, considering that the moment you arrived at the event— late, because you had to spend the entire day unpacking your studio the hours prior— he was a new face surrounded by a notable amount of people from your year.

And your first impression of him was simple.

“—is Park Sunghoon present?

(“This is Sunghoon! Park Sunghoon! C’mon, say hi!”

A tall, good-looking, well-off, popular guy who apparently also has a great personality. Sim Jaehyun’s introduction of Park Sunghoon seems to have maxed out on adjectives. He apparently also transferred to this program— Bachelor of Arts in Political Science— at the same time you left for your exchange program. He, after one once-over amidst the crowded scene, is someone you’ve concluded that you’re better off simply retaining as an acquaintance and a classmate because of the very adjectives Jaeyun described him with.

Popular, after only a semester of being here. Carries with him a crowd of people. That’s far too troublesome for you to voluntarily deal with.

So, for your own benefit, the smart decision is simply to never go further beyond being on polite terms with Park Sunghoon.

“Nice to meet you.”

“Ah. Yes, hi.”

“Now, don’t be awkward! Everyone already knows each other except for the both of you. You two should put in the effort to get closer.”

There’s a slight lag to Park Sunghoon’s smile. You smile back, scanning the rented venue for Kim Yeondu— closest friend since first semester and is trying to recruit you into the Strava cult— else you’d be a few minutes, few tequila shots too late from saving her from embarrassing herself on the first unofficial day of the semester. Nam Deokhwan seems to have already gotten the ball rolling and passing around drinks. Choi Nari is yelling at you three to come join for a group photo.

An exhale from you, you tighten your smile and flicker your gaze back to your new acquaintance, who looks like he’s also ready to get this awkward introduction over with. Jaeyun is the only soul in this three-person liminal space that’s even somewhat enthusiastic. 

At last, Park Sunghoon extends out a hand for a shake. “Let’s get along,” he says.

“Sure,” you politely reply.)

“Present, sir.”

Your eyes trail off from your notes, all the way to the other side of the lecture hall, several seats away from you to look at the only individual standing amidst the sea of seated students. “Your spouse has been accused of murder with damning evidence.” Prof Yoon flickers the slide back to the previous one, the question printed on the projector screen. “Should you believe them or not?”

There’s a polite smile on his face— an easygoing yet comfortable air. His posture is as straight as it can get. His profile is something artists would want to transfer onto canvas. “I would believe the evidence presented against my spouse’s testimony, Professor Yoon.”

You click the end of your pen, pointing the inked tip towards the paper with a hum.

“Care to expound?”

Sitting next to you in the hall is Yeondu, who has her eyes locked straight onto Park Sunghoon as he begins his answer. “The phrasing of ‘should you believe’ them rather than would implies a moral obligation of belief. In this scenario, what I’d want to believe does not matter. Even if my spouse had been, for example, loving and kind throughout the course of our relationship, the existence of police-discovered evidence that they had committed the crime of murder would overpower any emotionally-driven feelings of belief that I’d have.” You hear her sigh a little. Dreamily even, with her elbows propped up on the table and palms cupping her cheeks. “Evidence points us towards the direction of the truth, therefore there is no question but to believe in it.”

“Jesus, I have not registered a single word he said, but fuck, he sure sounds hot as hell when he talks smart.”

You laugh a little. You’re not one to deny that Park Sunghoon is indeed smart, handsome, and has the voice of an angel. But none of those are the sources of his difference in his behavior towards you. At least, you don’t think it is.

“Very good, Sunghoon. Your take is a clear evidentialist perspective towards the dilemma.”

A prompt from your professor, Park Sunghoon nods and returns to his seat, eliciting some murmurs from everyone else around. You set down your pen. You straighten your back.

“I’d like to hear if anyone has a different answer.”

You raise a hand.

“Yes?”

All eyes are on you—

“Thank you, sir. While the evidentialist point of view might seem the most rational, I’d like to argue otherwise.” 

—including Park Sunghoon’s

“I do not disagree with the moral burden of who I should believe. And in this case, I should believe my spouse. Not because of love or the fact that we are in a relationship. Regardless of the individual, the principle that everyone is presumed to be innocent until proven guilty beyond rest still stands.” You begin. You direct your attention towards Professor Yoon as you continue speaking. However, your peripheral notices something interesting. “Given that the situation is provided that the evidence is simply presented in testimony by a police officer outside the court, it is still yet to be verified and judged by the court of law. The same goes with my spouse. Therefore, until the law declares them guilty or otherwise for the crime of murder, I would choose to believe my spouse over anything.”

Park Sunghoon had been preparing to raise his hand. And he does. “May I ask her a question?” he asks. Professor Yoon nods at him to go ahead, and— when Park Sunghoon turns his head to direct his attention towards you— it fails to slip under your notice.

That annoyed look in his eyes. Bothered. Discomforted.

“Do you argue that we have the ability to choose what we believe?”

That’s the very reason why you can’t help but notice him more than you’d like.

“We have no control over the beliefs we carry. If we have that ability, then the concept of doubt would not exist, and this dilemma would not exist, either.”

Another round of murmurs arise. You nod and smile. “That’s a good point. However, I still stand with my argument.” What is up with that look of irritation? What is his problem? “We may not be able to control our beliefs at will, but our belief systems are shaped by our principles, morals, and experiences, are they not? My principles of justice alongside the experiences of a healthy and loving relationship would lead me towards believing him above anything else. This is not an argument based on emotion. Upon marriage, a moral obligation towards your spouse is conceived.”

You see him flinch. His brows furrow, a counter-argument already brewing in his mind.

“Should the time come that your spouse is indeed proven innocent, and your belief stood against them, then I’d say that you have failed your moral obligation.”

Unfortunately, the opportunity to fire it is stripped away the moment he opens his mouth. “That is a very good argument. I believe Mr Park Sunghoon has more to say, but unfortunately, we don’t have enough time to discuss things further. You two may take your seats.”

It seems like both you and Park Sunghoon get the similar idea to give each other one last glance before sitting back down. You, offering a smile and a nod of acknowledgement after sharing a fruitful discussion. Him, masking that previous expression of annoyance by mirroring yours, followed by an immediate turn around— head snapping back in front as if he couldn’t bear to look at you any longer.

Seriously. What’s up with him?

Yeondu scratches something onto your abandoned sheet of paper the moment you release a breath and sink back into your seat. Whoa, that was an intense exchange, she wrote. Pay attention, you scribble back with a soft hum. Though, you’re not exactly one to talk because although you’re looking at Professor Yoon and trying your best to listen to her talk, the recently concluded exchange with the man in front has gotten your mind wandering.

“As much as I’d like to hear discussions of other common ethical dilemmas such as the trolley problem, it seems like we only have around five minutes left for today’s class. However, this isn’t our only opportunity for discourse.”

All evidence points towards the idea that Park Sunghoon has a problem with you.

“Next week is the College Field Day, so we won’t be meeting. The week after that, we will be having a debate.”

But you’re not one to jump to conclusions. So until you get a confirmation from Park Sunghoon personally—

“Please see the screen for your groups. I will be posting the guidelines and propositions on our MIS immediately after this class, so please be guided. Once you’ve checked your groups, you may be dismissed. Thank you.”

—you’d much rather hold your suspicions at bay for the time being.

“Ah, fuck me, I’m with Deokhwan! What about you, where’s your— oh! There you are. You’re grouped with Jaeyun and—” It seems like there’s a magnet constantly pulling your vision towards one side of the lecture hall today. Park Sunghoon seems to have read the list at the same time as you did, registered the names listed, and looked over to you at the same time as you did. “Sunghoon! God damn, did Prof Yoon even randomize this? This is crazy. Thank god we’re not fighting against your group.”

At the same time as Professor Yoon takes her leave, the rest of your classmates also slowly trickle out of the lecture hall, while some have opted to remain inside. Park Sunghoon and the rest of the people surrounding him seem to have opted to leave. He already has his bag slung over his shoulder, chatting alongside Jaeyun and Nari and Jongseong and a few others.

You’re still unsure if you’re simply being sensitive, or if he does indeed have an issue with you. Quickly, you gather your things as well. Yeondu shoves her ethics book into her tote bag and locks arms with you. ���Anyway, where should we eat? Jiyeon said there’s pork cutlet on the menu today.”

Uncertainties are troublesome. It gets your brain churning more often than you’d like, expending energy more inefficiently than you’d like.

“Do you mind waiting for a second?”

And you’re not very fond of troublesome things.

“I’ll go meet with my group mates first.”

So wouldn’t it make the most sense to just ask him directly?

Yeondu tells you to take it easy, but lets you off with a wave. You march up to the group moving towards the middle aisle dividing two sides of the lecture hall seating. They walk down the pitched flooring, on the way to the bottom of the hall. You cut off that opening. Park Sunghoon’s steps stutter mid-speech at your sudden appearance. Jaeyun releases a surprised whoa. “Park Sunghoon,” you greet. He blinks his widened eyes in response. “Jaeyun, too. Sorry for the interruption. Are you guys heading out for lunch? I was hoping to schedule a meeting time for us first so we could start researching for the debate.”

The initial surprise subsides in the air. Jaeyun breaks the awkward silence with a laugh. “Whoa. You’re way too diligent, dude! Prof Yoon hasn’t even posted the propositions yet.” He nudges his friend for some backup. However, Sunghoon— seeming to only have shaken off his stupor a few moments ago— agrees with you, instead.

“She’s right, Jake,” he says, nudging back his friend, and Park Sunghoon’s eyes trail away from his friend to you, a practiced, polite smile covering his face. “How about we meet later after class at the campus cafe? That way, we’d have more time to sit down for a discussion.”

“Hey, you guys can talk this out later! I’m starving!”

You notice Sunghoon’s smile stiffening for a second. Only for a brief second and you look over to the scene behind his shoulder— a group of evidently impatient and irritated friends, mostly emanating from Nari, who’s leering right at you. You ignore them. You respond to Sunghoon with an expression mirroring his own. “Sure, that’s fine with me,” you say. “My classes end at four.”

“We both finish by four-thirty!” Jayun shutters in, throwing an arm around Sunghoon’s neck, grinning widely with the conversation finally coming to an end. His gaze is already glued to the door. “Alright, we’ll see you later. C’mon, guys. Lunch, lunch, lunch!”

Jaeyun passes you by with a friendly pat on the shoulder. Jongseong nods at you and walks ahead. Among the rest of the group walking past you, you feel one of them bumping into your shoulder, by accident or otherwise, yet even that falls far under your notice in comparison to the first person that passed you by.

It was from the corner of your eye, but you’re sure that Park Sunghoon’s smile disappeared with the roll of his eyes the moment he took the step down and walked past your sight-line.

You caught that. Without a doubt.

“You done? C’mon, let’s go eat!”

Yeondu skips over to you after your mini-meeting, tugging you by the arm out the door, but your mind remains on the two levels of the lecture floor aisle. In spite of the evidence pointing towards Park Sunghoon’s masked distaste towards your person, your personality, your existence— whatever, it’s not the time to ask him about it yet.

Until then, you’ll have to table your judgements and how you intend on dealing with him.

the ethics of belief. © hannie-dul-set, 2025.

[phantobats]

What I'm saying is that you can't say that kids on TikTok who like Red Hood because they support his crusade against crime by proxy of liking his character, without also acknowledging that Batman harms criminals and is a billionaire, which is also inherently against leftist morals. Billionaires cannot be ethical, and physical harm outside of self defense cannot be justified. Batman glorifies harm. Batman romanticizes billionaires. You justifying it by being a "Bruce Wayne apologist" and saying that he donates to charity as if that fixes his exploitation uproots your own argument.

When have I ever encouraged people to emulate Batman's actions or approach?

While I do love the character of Bruce Wayne, I am fully aware of the flaws inherent in his methods and persona. His status as a billionaire and the ethical contradictions surrounding that have been critically explored within the comics themselves. At times, his wealth serves as a narrative device, allowing for his gadgets and resources to make sense within the story. However, my interest in Bruce Wayne is not tied to his wealth or status. It lies in his character—his inner conflict, dedication, and the questions his actions raise.

This is a critical distinction. Most Jason Todd fans, on the other hand, are drawn to him because of his specific approach to crime—an approach that frequently glorifies vigilante violence and even murder. In TikTok comment sections or other spaces, this admiration often goes beyond fiction, with people yearning for someone like Jason to take these methods into the real world.

But let’s unpack that. Supporting Jason's methods—murdering criminals or controlling the drug trade—means supporting the death penalty and organized crime, both of which I’d argue are fundamentally at odds with leftist values. The death penalty disproportionately harms marginalized groups and fails to address the systemic issues that lead to crime in the first place. Similarly, controlling the drug trade instead of dismantling it perpetuates harm to communities, particularly those already vulnerable to exploitation. Neither approach addresses the root causes of inequality or injustice; they just perpetuate cycles of violence and harm.

As for Bruce, while his status as a billionaire is inherently problematic from a leftist perspective, he does at least attempt to use his resources for systemic, long-term improvements. Is it enough to offset the inherent exploitation tied to his wealth? No. But there’s a significant difference between someone using ethically dubious wealth to attempt community aid and someone engaging in outright crime and murder under the guise of justice.

Ultimately, my critique of Jason Todd fans who glorify his methods stems from this: cheering for violent crime or authoritarian control doesn’t align with leftist ideals either. So, while both characters have ethical contradictions, romanticizing Jason’s approach feels far more dangerous in how directly it translates into harmful real-world ideas.

[celerydays]

Hi! I have been following you for some time and I notice you draw more and more Sebastian and Ominis doing stuff that makes me... uncomfortable.....

Sebastian and Ominis are best friends, why people are obsessed with drawing them into weird gay stuff? Seriously.... Why can't be friends.... without all Sebinis... Just stop it...

Normally I would delete messages or simply ignore the things that make me feel uncomfortable–

But, you're on anon and this is my ask inbox, so I can only assume you want an actual, public response. So alright. Fine.

Like I said: normally I would just remove odd, uncomfortable, or even outright rude messages without making a whole thing of it. I curate my own online experience and I try my best to live by that rule.

However, I've now gotten multiple unsolicited DMs over the course of a couple of months expressing the exact same sentiment (and nearly word-for-word as this ask, so I highly suspect I already know who you are). I have duly ignored or glossed over them hoping that the person/people would take the hint to simply stop engaging with the same message over and over again. But an anon ask is my last straw, I guess.

So if you are the same person as in my DMs, I'm finally giving you a response (and if you're not the same person – which I highly doubt – then I'm speaking to both of you).

Firstly, I want to say that I am sorry that your worldview is so limited that this is your stance and feelings on gay/queer ship content for Sebastian and Ominis.

Next, I ask that you please:

Don't make your homophobia anyone else's issue but your own. Don't come into DMs/ask inboxes/comments to make your discomfort with the content I create my problem. I don't know what you hoped to accomplish by sending this message but it's unlikely that you'll find the same feelings or sympathy from the person who is actively creating queer/sebinis content.

Curate your own online experience. Once again, do not make your content consumption anyone else's problem but your own. The "unfollow" button is there. Tumblr has a tag filtering system and I try to tag my art and content as accurately as possible. If you do not like something/it makes you uncomfortable, then do not continue to consume it. And if you still decide to stick around for whatever reason, then please keep your thoughts/opinions on this matter to yourself because I can promise that I don't actually care why you would continue to be here and looking at my art if it makes you unhappy.

Widen your worldview and try to reframe your perspective. Consider that Sebastian x Ominis is just as canon as Sebastian x f!MC or Ominis x f!MC. As much as we like to ship our various MCs with the canon characters, MC never actually amounts to canonically being confirmed as anything but being just friends with everyone. Using the "they are just best friends" / "why can't they just be portrayed only as friends" could literally be applied to just about any other non-canon/non-confirmed ship between friends regardless of gender. If even one of them, Ominis or Sebastian, was portrayed as cis female in canon, I would suspect that you would better "understand" why a ship between these two "friends" may exist. Then also consider a cis male MC; it's possible you may suddenly reframe all the interactions between Ominis x m!MC or Sebastian x m!MC in your head to be "totally platonic/friendly". Your issue is certainly not with their canon relationship vs. fandom portrayal (but I think we both know that).

Educate yourself. Go outside and meet and talk to people, I dunno. It is 2024 my dude. I don't even know how you're on Tumblr – the most queer-friendly social media site – with those kind of narrowed views and stigma.

I would like to finish by saying: I don't wish you the best. What I do wish is for you to learn, grow, and be better than this.

And also please stop sending me messages of this nature, because the next ask or DM I get like this, we're moving on to blocking at this point. And if your purpose was to get me to stop, I can tell you that these messages have only fueled the explicit sebinis smut maker in me. 😤

[crumblinggothicarchitecture]

I love your lyrics critics!! absolutely love to see you tear apart T Swifts "genius writing"

here's a line that deeply bothered me from her new album

"I was a functioning alcoholic until nobody notices my new aesthetic"

bc like. yeah she probably is an alcoholic, from what we've seen but. treating alcoholism, addiction, mental health issues etc like an "aesthetic" is EXACTLY the kind of shit she does (literally seems to be what her chosen "aesthetic" for TTPD is) and it's so disgusting I'm shaking

Yeah- I am not sure Taylor Swift really understands the severity of the themes with which she plays.

The line "I was a functioning alcoholic until nobody notices me new aesthetic" just screams attention-seeking behavior. Not that it is a new phenomenon for Swift to be attention-seeking at all times, but I do worry about it.

Not to mention the broader context around that quote is :

I was supposed to be sent away But they forgot to come and get me I was a functioning alcoholic 'Til nobody noticed my new aesthetic All of this to say I hope you're okay But you're the reason And no one here's to blame But what about your quiet treason? ("Fortnight" 2024).

The surrounding use of "to be sent away" meaning that she was supposed to be forcibly institutionalized, and then "they forgot to come and get me" makes no coherent sense. She is saying that they were going to institutionalize her, until, what? They forgot?

Who is "they" and why did "they forget" the line goes nowhere in the song- and never reconnects with any thematic purpose or imagist-esque impression, thus rendering it incoherent. It's completely unconnected from the rest of the narrative- it's just sloppy writing.

Not to mention the first four lines are a guilt trip- saying, essentially, " I am mentally unwell, and it is your fault, I am an alcoholic, and it is your fault" but then pivoting into "but I'm so glad to see that you're okay"

This is the same conceit as her "Picture to Burn" (2006) and "Mr. Perfectly Fine" (2021). She can't even think of anything more original than the classic break-up fake-sadness-turned-gulit-trip trope.

It's an answer, too, to her song "Long Story Short" (2020).

But what I really want to talk about is the last line reading "But what about your quiet treason?"

In the word treason- she is essentially stating that her partner has betrayed her in some spectacular way- rendering the antecedent lines all the more sinister. She is saying that her mental and physical well-being is the responsibility of the other person, thus when she falls apart and they are to blame- it is a treasonous act. They were supposed to be the thing that "fixed" her, or "held her together." This is a poisonous message- it's a guilt trip.

Partners can be emotional support systems yes- but the way she writes this song fully objectifies the other person, as she never includes the other perspective in the song, it has the effect of rendering the other voiceless- furthering their objectification, stripping them of personal autonomy. The partner Swift is singing about becomes nothing more than her emotional crutch- that has failed to do what tools-like a crutch- are supposed to do. I just think there is something so odd about both claiming sever alcoholism, and throwing a bit of a pity-fit, while she is also clearly stripping another person of autonomy, and blaming them for running away from her, all in the same breath.

Like that song gives me a headache- not because it's sonically awful, but because it's told from the perspective of an abusive person.

[etoilesbienne]

Okay on the reset, there's multiple things going on here.

I think it's fair for the heavily active CC to be frustrated their personal stuff was sidelined and interrupted with the reset, I get it. All that progress stopped. I also have full faith in all of the active CC to be able to bounce back and be capable of return in their own way. I trust this of BadBoyHalo and Tubbo. Pierre might have different concerns, but he's been doing content for a decade, I think he'll be fine.

On the other hand, I think this server reset was kinda necessary. Especially from the perspective of more new players being added soon. Like, even Tubbo when added was struggling to find things to do at first because he'd suggest something, and then people would point out someone else already did that like two months prior. To quote a friend, if Tubbo was struggling to find things to do, what's left for players like Lenay?

Keep in mind, the last time the admins tried something to level the playing field between active players and inactive players was Lucky Ducks. Which killed a lot of motivation for members who did like grinding hard to obtain materials. Lucky Ducks was just giving them that stuff without any work. This reset is the last resort in my opinion.

The other thing that interests me is that Etoiles mentioned that he knew about this reset coming (or something similar) for at least three months now. This is odd with the perspective of Pierre and BBH both reacting so badly, like they didn't know this would be happening. Because of both of these scenarios, I think there are two things that could have happened: 1. Etoiles vouching for a reset meant he talked to the admins more one-on-one over this. 2. The admins mentioned a server reset, and never detailed what that would revolve around. I personally think the second is more likely, as QStudios are somewhat... notorious? For being a little nebulous and not the best at communication for all streamers at once.

Ultimately I do think the server reset was a good decision, it encourages playing for people who were never able to get their foot in the door, and hopefully will make the server more active in the future. I also think the incentivizing for players to be farther apart ala Karmaland while create is off for the first few days is a good idea too, we don't need another Roier chunk that lags the hell out of the server being so close to spawn.

I think there's other parts that are less than desirable because they work poorly in practice (disabling all backpacks above iron unless purchased via... the new money system. The new money system in general. Punishing players for doing a bunch of backpacks as a storage system as if that isn't a fair playstyle because it's literally just a bunch of blocks on hand, it makes things more convenient I truly do not get the weird punishing behavior about backpacks. Not telling the players the list of nerfs/changes beforehand. Come on, I would love a Tubbo changelog reading stream. He'd have so much fun doing that.), however overall I am willing to wait another week or two to see how the admin team responds and fixes changes as they see them be interacted with. It's been three days, and there were a hell of a lot of changes.

[larkingame]

so, i don't usually crosspost these posts, but this week's update on patreon is available to everyone and I know I have a bit of a larger following on tumblr, and I'd really like everyone on the same page so I'm dropping all I have to say here too.

good evening friends!! i hope you're all doing well! welcome to the first update of 2024. momentous for me personally, because this is the year we finish larkin. i am making this post available to all patrons, (paid or not) because I'd really like to start 2024 on the right foot with everyone aware of the road ahead. i am so determined to get it done you have no idea. this is my year. 2024, i christen thee: the year of the vampire cowboy.

okay, so big things ahead, lets talk about the update, explore some of the features we have in the game, plans for this weekends release, the schedule and a couple other things.

so, if you've played at all with the new version of the game, you'll take notice that it's a little bit different than my first image of the game. at first larkin was just a straight interactive fiction following the likes of cog like games, with choices and avenues and split stats and the like. but now, as of 2024 (crazy) we're seeing a game that is more reminiscent of a ttrpg, like dnd or cyberpunk, with stats, classes and dice rolls. admittedly, the very first encounter of the game is well (it's a little rigged) the game, of course, could not really get started if the preacher gets cooked before they've even made it to nevada, so, the odds are a little bit stacked in the players favor this round, but at least, it gives you a little bit of a taste of whats to come. to dive into the specifics of what's important with this first encounter (or just, how to avoid getting your ass really kicked) these first few rolls give bonuses to players with high dexterity and athleticism—-but that's not to say you need to make your character beefed up in these departments. each stat will get their time to shine later down the line.

but let's talk about what i'm really excited to discuss: classes. so with the new version of larkin, i've introduced a system of classes that operate somewhat like your standard dungeons and dragons class, but with a little bit more of that classic background from the original ttrpg mixed in—coloring the way your character sees the world of the game, sort of how a race might effect a dnd character--(a dwarf player is going to have a much different worldview than say, an elf.) for this i was heavily inspired by games like dragon age origins and baldur's gate, and while I do have those original background ready to be dropped a little bit later on the game in relation to your character's perspectives on the abrams family, I really like how these have come to form.

in total there are seven new classes: con-man, outlaw, healer, thief, gambler, showman and slayer. each of these classes warps the perspective of the player character, giving them new motivations, dialogue options, and affects their relationships with the other characters in the game and the world around them. to illustrate this, I'm thinking of making a little bit more of an in depth explanation screen to be added to saturday's update to really get that point across, but I'm still toying with how I want to phrase the specifics of it. what i might do is something similar to baldur's gate with little pop-up tutorials that can be turned off/on depending on how you'd like to play.

to give an example of some of the more in depth motivations/choices each class offers lets talk about the thief and the outlaw classes. the thief class i am especially excited for, because like the con-man class and similar to a few others, it really allows your character to be very money/materialistically motivated. it opens up routes later in the game, like romancing one of the sokolovs—with motivations reminiscent of gold-digging (hehehe very excited for that—i think it will be very fun to write—because you have this idea of a cold hearted player who is entering into a relationship with them strictly for business, versus a cold hearted player who is in it for the cash but also. might be falling in love with one of the sokolovs? ((a lot of fun dynamics afoot here.)) the outlaw class is also one i'm excited to work with because it really puts something of a strain on the preacher and wyatt's relationship—-mostly because you see a strong division in terms of their ethics—the preacher in that case is very 'do what you gotta do to survive,' whereas wyatt believes (key word—believes) he's living by some sort of moral code—that he's failed to instill in the person he views as his child. so like there are layers here boys. layers of resentment, failure—to connect, to teach, to bond. a final tidbit about the slayer class before I move on: if you would really like to play into the enemies to lovers trope with one of the vampires, I would highly recommend giving your player this class ((that's all I'll say))

so: saturday, that takes us to the bar, where each class will get a unique scene, similar to how the scheming tactic section worked in the original game. we're gonna finish up the encounter with the first vampires, meet our guild pursuers and move to the bar. I'm planning also to implement the character customization here—(sort of a way to prep before the player heads out to the bar.) most likely won't get to all classes by saturday's code, but after that, I'm planning to release again on next wednesday, so we're keeping on track. I'd really like to give a full picture of customization for the player character, with all the original options for physical appearance (i might keep clothes vague for now though and let you dress your character later on, until you get a taste of the inventory/bartering system-—you have to deal with MY poor fashion choices for a little bit.) but that being said, about character customization, if there's something that's lacking here and you'd like to suggest an addition I'd be all ears. This is what I'm planning to implement so far:

skin tone

body type*

hair color

hair texture

hair length

hair style**

height

skin details (acne, scars, vitiligo, rosacea)

facial hair

make-up

piercings

eyewear (glasses, no glasses, eyepatch, prosthetic eye)

gender-affirming customization (for ex. use of binding)

* a note on the body type section, I kind of had this idea of digitally drawing some silhouettes of different heights, shapes and sizes, and allowing the player to click through arrows to select a rough estimation of what their body-type might look like. I'm going to do an art dump later this month, and I have a few sketches of what I'd kinda like to do with that, but I'm still toying with it, because even that could be a little limiting in terms of options. if any of you had thoughts on that, I'd love to hear them.

**I think it might also be cool to kind of have drawings of different hairstyles available to the characters, arranged in the card formats like the previous gender options in that same red colored sketch format.

speaking of art though--and this is purely tangential so I apologize, I'm sure you've taken notice of some of the art being repetitive--for the moment that's purposeful. I'm planning to commission some work for the cards to be implemented in a later update--so what you're seeing are just placeholders for now.

okay! with saturday's notes out of the way, plans for the rest of the week. I need to finish the timeline and then I need to make it readable to people other than myself. it is currently incomprehensible and of the few people that have gotten their eyes on it only one (1) could make sense of my mad ramblings. (shout out to friend of the game bianca from exiled from court if any of you are familiar with her or her stuff, we are  big bianca fans here.) After that I need to do some edits with the new update and such, and poke at the code.

Tonight after I post this, I'm specifically working on sending a few more emails to betas (know that sending emails is. my personal hell because of intense social anxiety. BUT we must persevere. emails will be sent tonight.) after that, I have to work on the phillip/kc/sam schedule + calendar for this month, just to keep the three of us on the same page. I'm in the process of looking at some stamps.com printers for sending out packages with this next round of physical rewards and ordering the merch (hehehe)

okay. super long update for our first one of the year, but I am so excited to get to keep working with you guys :) i'd like to thank you all for your continued support and I can't wait to show you more of the little universe i've crafted :)

until friday! i'm gonna be posting some cyrus asks/scenarios for you all to enjoy, so look forward to that! <3

[thethirdromana]

Books I read for the first time this year - 2024 edition

I did this last year, and even though no one read it, it was fun so I'm doing it again.

The Moonstone by Wilkie Collins I loved The Woman in White so much that I had to have more Wilkie Collins right away. It is aggressively of its time, but very readable and gripping all the same. And I found the ending deeply satisfying. I should read more Wilkie Collins.

Julia by Sandra Newman This is the story of 1984 retold from Julia's perspective, with extra bleakness and a somewhat odd take on the ending. I think this would have benefitted from me having read 1984 more recently. I'm glad I read it; I don't think I will ever read it again.

All Systems Red by Martha Wells I merely liked this, and feel oddly guilty for not loving it as much as the rest of tumblr seems to. Possibly this would have benefitted from me bingeing the series instead of stopping at one.

Mansfield Park by Jane Austen In the spring I decided it was time to read the two Austen novels I hadn't read before. I enjoyed Mansfield Park, though it's not destined to replace Sense and Sensibility as my favourite Austen novel. This is because Edmund, unfortunately, is a drip.

Klara and the Sun by Kazuo Ishiguro I loved Remains of the Day so much that I thought I should read more Ishiguro. There's the usual unreliable narrator and glimpses of hidden darkness that you'd expect from Ishiguro in Klara and the Sun, but it's a lighter read overall, which is to say it didn't devastate me in the way that the Remains of the Day did.

Persuasion by Jane Austen One of these novels that's so totemic it feels weird to review it. It's like saying I quite liked the ocean; the ocean doesn't care.

I quite liked it, though.

The Temeraire series by Naomi Novik The first of several recommendations from tumblr. I read the whole series one after another without a break. The amount that I enjoyed each novel was directly proportional to how much it was the Aubreyad with dragons - so the first and final books were my favourites.

Project Hail Mary by Andy Weir Lots of people have this as their favourite Andy Weir novel but I am not among them. It was just a little bit too cuddly for me, I think, and I was also well into Time To Orbit: Unknown at this point (a web serial, so I've not included it on this list), which is in a similar style but better. The title pun is great, though.

The Mystery of a Hansom Cab by Fergus Hume This is an early detective novel from before people had really figured out how the genre should work. An interesting read but not a particularly satisfying one.

The Dispossessed by Ursula Le Guin An incredible book, but I found myself wishing I could have read the version of it that Le Guin might have written later on in her career, when she came to focus less on male characters.

The Riverside Trilogy by Ellen Kushner and Delia Sherman This was another tumblr recommendation and I loved these, with the sole exception of the ending of the Fall of Kings. Queer love, sword-fighting and some of the most lavish and enticing descriptions of food that I've ever read - this is a significant percentage of I want in a novel.

The Documents in the Case by Dorothy Sayers and Robert Eustace I can't believe I hadn't read this earlier. I love Dorothy Sayers, I love the way she observes people, and I particularly love the way this novel brings a slice of the 1920s bohemian world to life. This means I have now read all of Dorothy Sayers' novels and should probably getting cracking on the short stories.

A Taste of Gold and Iron by Alexandra Rowland Another tumblr recommendation! This felt a lot like reading fanfic - the tropes (enemies to lovers!), the writing style, the way the characters bounced off each other. I enjoyed it, though I did find myself wondering how readers who weren't used to fanfic norms would feel about it.

Spirit Level by Richy Craven This was a debut novel by someone who I've followed on Twitter (and subsequently Bluesky) for ages. It's a comedy novel about a man who can only see the ghost of his dead friend when he's drunk. I found it more sweet than funny.

Jeeves and the King of Clubs by Ben Schott Jeeves and Wooster fanfiction, but with an official licence! Entirely readable, but the best of AO3 is better.

The Song of Achilles by Madeline Miller A gorgeous retelling of the Iliad from the perspective of Patroclus. The prose is lovely; the ending, a little wobbly.

Tall and Dark by Suzannah Rowntree Sometimes I download novels onto my Kindle, forget any of the context, and pick them up without any prior info. Usually that's great, but it served Tall and Dark badly. I thought that it was going to be the kind of novel that the opening made it seem (a governess who can see spirits fakes being a medium in a non-fantasy setting) instead of what it was (a romp with fantastical monsters). The monster romp was fun, but I'd probably have enjoyed it more if I'd read the blurb and been prepared for what to expect.

The Night Raven by Sarah Painter More women who can see ghosts, but this time in an urban fantasy context. I was not really in the mood for urban fantasy when I read this, which did a disservice to another readable book.

A Pale View of Hills by Kazuo Ishiguro This was Ishiguro's first novel, where he hadn't quite figured out the fine line between an unreliable narrator who hides things from the reader, and just not telling you what the fuck is going on.

The Buried Giant by Kazuo Ishiguro I did not finish this, but I got about two-thirds of the way through before giving up, so it's going on the list. This is where I went from "I like Kazuo Ishiguro" to "I like some of Kazuo Ishiguro's novels". Amazing that it's possible to make an Arthurian romp set in the early Middle Ages (two of my favourite things!) so dull.

On the Beach by Nevil Shute This was the best novel I read all year. It's the story of a small group of people in Australia, waiting for a cloud of nuclear radiation that has already killed the rest of humanity to reach them. Other writers might have shown people having crazed reactions to the end of the world; Nevil Shute shows ordinary people responding in dignified and quiet ways. It was utterly devastating.

So Disdained by Nevil Shute This was a lot lighter than On the Beach and generally fun, though the heroic role played in it by Italian fascists was uncomfortable.

Circe by Madeline Miller Good, if a little bit less well-constructed than The Song of Achilles, though some of that has to be down to the source material.

The Autobiography of Mr Spock by Una McCormack It's a truly impressive feat to synthesise the assorted contradictory Spock lore into something that makes coherent sense. Una McCormack sees the world of Star Trek as a darker place than I prefer to, and as a dedicated Spirk shipper, maybe I was never going to be entirely happy with this. It's very well-written but perhaps not quite for me.

The Anglo-Saxons by Marc Morris I realised I'd got to nearly the end of the year without reading any non-fiction. This was a great way to address that. I already knew a fair bit about the Anglo-Saxon period but this was a very enjoyable way to fill in the gaps.

Gideon the Ninth by Tamsyn Muir I gave in to the need to know what everyone on tumblr seemed to be raving about. Lesbian necromancers in space was always going to be a winner with me, though at times it was a bit Warhammer 40k-esque (mountains of skulls! rivers of blood!) for my tastes.

Lessons in Chemistry by Bonnie Garmus Overtly feminist fiction is usually my bag, but I didn't vibe with this. It's patronising towards its autistic-coded protagonist, and I wish it didn't spend quite so much time emphasising how hot she is. I could have done without the sapient dog, too.

Learned by Heart by Emma Donoghue Lesbian historical fiction featuring Anne Lister? Obviously on to a great start. The plot was a little constrained by the messiness of historical events, and there were a couple of bizarre modern references that threw me out of immersion when I reached them, which was particularly odd given how meticulous most of the research was. But I'm nitpicking: this was a gorgeous novel overall.

[theregardedminecrafter]

As someone watching from q!Charlie’s/Gegg’s perspective, is definitely interesting to watch people talk about those who openly speak against working with the federation naive/idealistic when it really doesn’t feel that way. (Warning: there will be rambling and ranting and what feels like disjointed thoughts)

(I am mostly going to talk about Charlie because he is the one I watch so I understand him the best.)

The first exchange after the debate that Baghera and Charlie had was Charlie commenting that no matter who was voted in they would be doomed and her almost immediately agreeing.

I’m pretty sure Charlie is fully convinced he isn’t going to make it to voting day. For more then what felt like 90% of the stream he and Gegg were holding a totem. Even when Bad gave him extras and assured him he should only hold them in case he feels endangered. The only time he stopped holding a totem was in between the end of the debate and Bad handing him more totems in a reminder of The very fragile single life that the self aware very accident-prone Charlie has and when he was back in Eggsile, his lonely little beach.

While he is trying to stay alive, Gegg’s platform isn’t really to become the president. The point of running is to spread the message. He even admitted that not only does he think none of the people running are fit for president, including himself, but that the role of president is entirely forced onto them by The Federation. And is just another way to control them.

Being an Anarcho-Socialist, all government is sorta on Gegg’s list. Charlie did say that Gegg would definitely probably light himself on fire if he were to become president when Forever asked.

Also Charlie is very very aware of the power imbalance the federation has on them. (note: the life system he keeps stressing about) I don’t consider him the most haunted man on the server for nothing.

This man has however literally dealt with both the devil and angel Rubius toying with him and his family.

And one of the only times Charlie has dealt with Cucurucho was in a situation where Charlie was in caves deep beneath his eggsile, with his location off so noone can find him, stumbling into Cucurucho who then vagued him about his daughter(she was dead at this time but because of where he was he didn’t know that) and when Charlie got pissed and started to pressure for more open concrete answers, Cucurucho held him at gunpoint and shot around him. And Charlie made it clear that he knew Cucurucho wasn’t there to kill him and was unafraid. And after having El Mariana’s pov of Juanaflippa’s final death seemingly forced into him like a flashback.

He then tries to murder Cucurucho, got shot and then revived by it, tries to kill it again, and then swears to find a way to kill Cucurucho after it leaves. (Even though he acknowledges that it seems to know everything/is omniscient and how it took nothing from his sword)

After all, Charlie is someone who has lost everything he cared about more then twice over, he has had nothing to lose.

Which is probably why the whole openly fuck The Federation attitude he and Gegg have make sense to me. It doesn’t matter how strong they are because Charlie has always been stubborn and fighting against all the odds. He and Gegg refuse to be silenced and want the people to think and will cling at the chance to do that until either of them (in their own mind) inevitably die. The election might be rigged and there might be a target on his back, but he is very clearly aware of that and acknowledges that.

This is not an election for Charlie and Gegg, it is a stand against it and all of what The Federation stands for.

Thank you for listening.

[sophieinwonderland]

I Can't Believe That Pearl's Plurality is Syscourse Now!!!

Steven Universe Spoilers Ahead

This is such an extremely over-the-top reaction to me saying someone with multiple selves in their head is plural.

I would highly recommend rewatching A Single Pale Rose if you don't think Pearl has dissociative barriers. She's not just wearing masks or keeping secrets.

To recap, the episode has Steven looking for Pearl's phone after getting a text message from her.

When Steven mentions getting a text from the phone that was put inside Pearl's head, Front Pearl denies that the text was sent and is legitimately shocked and horrified at first that this is going on.

She tries to find the phone but can't.

She had no memory of sending Steven the text because she didn't do it, and only realized what was going on when Steven got a second text while she was there without her knowing. She's not pretending to not know. She's not lying. We've seen her acting in other episodes and she's not that good at it.

This is a clear example of inter-identity amnesia.

When Steven goes inside Pearl's head and meets what we'll call Keeper Pearl, (as a reference to her keeping all of their things and as a gatekeeper to the rest of the system,) this Pearl references the other Pearls as different entities, showing she has a 1st person perspective that acknowledges the others as being separate from her...

Keeper Pearl: It should be right here! Unless... some other me took it.

Keeper Pearl also doesn't know who has the phone.

As she explains when Steven asks if there are more of her there, she gets to be surface because she's good at compartmentalizing.

Keeper Pearl: Oh no, not here. I made sure of that. I am very good at compartmentalizing everything. That's why I get to be surface, and they have to be put away.

Pearl has compartmentalized different selves. Aside from Keeper Pearl, the others are all based on time periods and are frozen in their respective states as a result of some sort of trauma.

90's Pearl is traumatized by Rose's death.

War Pearl is unable to cope with the aftermath of their fight against Homeworld.

War Pearl: We're the only ones left… Homeworld… They were all leaving… We thought we'd won…. There was a bright light and everyone was- …Why did I do it?

If you notice, that picture is in what would become known as the strawberry battlefield.

In Rose's Scabbard, we see Pearl talking wistfully of fighting beside Rose and "winning" while strolling through that same battlefield as Garnet is describing the horrors of the war.

Pearl: But we won! Your mother led us to glorious victory! The odds were against us, and our hearts were uncertain. But we chose to fight alongside Rose, and here we made our stand against our Homeworld!

She's proud, not showing any concern or sadness at the loss of their friends. Her interpretation of events, as being a victory against their enemies, is completely at odds with how War Pearl feels.

This is the "emotional amnesia" the anon claims isn't there. Besides the actual inter-identity amnesia we see between the inner Pearls, there's this emotional disconnect between the Pearl in that scene and what we see of War Pearl's own feelings after the battle.

After all of this, if you still Pearl think having multiple self-conscious entities with an awareness of each other in a shared inner world is just part of "everyone's normal human experience," I think that might say more about how you view plurality, and singlethood for that matter.

What we see in Pearl's head is not a normal singlet experience.

[ntntrnsfrmtn]

A Fourth Way

I started a community on Tumblr where I also posted this, for Black Americans and allies who look around the USA today and are discouraged by the three ways the African diaspora in the country lives today in relation to the larger capitalist system, which I will describe, and who are willing to strive for an achievable fourth way to be.

Giving a little information about myself first, I am not Black, but I am someone who cares about these issues, had an idea that I believe is worth sharing and would like to be an ally. I do not want to be the one to lead this effort, if this turns out to be something people want to strive for then the leadership must come from within the Black community, so I will step aside as soon as any Black supporter of this idea wants to take over. I am also not here to judge anyone not interested, nor am I afraid of being judged as an outsider. I only want to put this idea out there to be judged on its own merits, and people can do whatever they want with it, if anything at all. While my perspective lacks the insights of an insider, an outsider's perspective has its own advantages too.

Before getting into what I mean by a fourth way, I should first describe what I see as the current three ways. I apologize that this part will be a little long.

The first of these, which will be the least interested in this proposal, is the very large portion of the Black community whose ambitions lie within the capitalist system. They pursue the goals generally known as the American dream, and strive for all of the things that it includes such as a conventional western education, a well-paying corporate job, and owning private property. Some within this group may be happy with the system, while others may resent it for the disadvantages they have within it, but no one within this group wants to leave the system altogether. If there are reforms they want, they are reforms that would help them advance within the system. If this description reads like I'm judging this group, I'm not, I believe all individuals have every right to pursue what makes them happy. Since we all live in a capitalist system, I see nothing wrong with people trying their best to thrive within it.

However, this is not the case for all Black Americans. Anyone familiar with the history of the African diaspora in the USA knows that their ancestors were forced to come to the country as slaves and were savagely oppressed and brutalized both before and after emancipation. In many ways the oppression continues to this day. While all other Americans, except for Native Americans, are willing immigrants and descendents of willing immigrants who are here because of their embrace of the system, Black Americans (obviously, I'm referring to the descendents of slaves, not more recent willing African immigrants) were never willing participants. They were violently ripped from their cultures and their indigenous systems, and are now stuck here. So, despite the existence of the first group which genuinely tries to work within the system, it should be no surprise that there are other groups.

The second way is the one which is simply being left behind by the system. They live in poverty, sometimes in crime, they might like the idea of having all of the things that go with the American Dream, but they believe the system is stacked so heavily against them that there's no point in really trying. Many people within this group view the first group with disdain, seeing them as trying to "act white" or something along those lines. As children they may have felt social pressure to not try too hard academically, and as adults they may view people they know who manage to thrive against the odds in the system as betraying their community in some way. I won't pretend to be an expert on this group, but what I do know is that they don't want to be in it, they don't trust the capitalist system as a way to get them out, but there's no viable alternative to that system. It's a system that has been hostile to them throughout history, so no one can blame them for having a discouraged attitude.

The third and final way is the one of actively fighting, or wanting to fight, against the system. The relevant organizations come in many variations, including leftists like the Black Panthers or others like the Nation of Islam, along with their supporters, but what they have in common is a goal to forcibly liberate themselves from the system and establish a new one. It's an understandable goal when you consider their history. Unfortunately, they have no real chance of success, because it would ultimately involve winning a military struggle against the United States government. Even if there is a chance at success, it could only come after a very long time and a lot of people suffering. I'm certain that many people living this way realize this, which is probably why Black militancy is so much lower now than in previous decades, and so people belonging to this group are mostly activists who support a desire to fight the system, without doing much to actually fight it.

So, having identified the three ways of living in the system as trying to rise within it, languishing behind it, or hopelessly fighting against it, it should be clear that, as I mentioned earlier, there simply is nowhere for Black Americans to turn for a real chance to thrive except to a system stacked against them. The African diaspora deserves at least somewhere to turn for an achievable alternative, even a small one, which is where I came up with this fourth way, which is to live parallel to the system.

If you're wondering what that means, I'll give probably the biggest example from white society: the Amish. These are self-reliant people who live their own distinct, centuries-old cultures, within their own communities. They aren't entirely separate from the larger system, but they can't be said to be a part of it either. It's a generally happy, supportive community which exists peacefully beside the rest of society. They live in their own system, without a need to forcefully resist the capitalist system.

This is a model which can very achievably be extended to the African diaspora in this country. It would obviously have to come in a different form than what the Amish have, and I believe that the best way to achieve this would be to look toward their West African roots, since this is where the descendents of enslaved people trace their heritage to. It's true that West Africa is home to many cultures and it's impossible for individual Black Americans to precisely trace their heritage to the specific cultures their ancestors came from, but it's also true that there are records of which cultures the enslaved population came from in general. For example, it's known that Yorubas and Igbos were taken in large numbers.

So, like the Amish live by their own customs, in their own types of homes, speaking their own language, wearing their own attire, eating their own food, maintaining their own customs, living off their own production, I propose that a group of the African diaspora picks one major culture a large portion of enslaved people were taken from, so that after so many generations almost all can be reasonably confident they have some heritage from that culture, and do all of those things the Amish do but for that West African culture. To reclaim and revive the culture their ancestors were stolen from, this would need to be the pre-colonial culture, not the modern westernized version of the culture. There would be a lot of research needed, but there are a lot of resources available.

The three main things that will be needed are enough people willing to participate, enough time to train themselves in the culture, and money to buy land to build this community on. After this, the community will need to be financially self-sustaining through agriculture and selling products such as art, jewelry or any valuable products traditionally made by the chosen culture. The need for finances means it won't be entirely separate from the capitalist system, but like Amish society it will be radically different. The money in the beginning stage would be difficult, but this isn't nearly as insurmountable as the third way's revolutionary aspirations. For a small community, it might be as simple as getting a few wealthy, sympathetic donors.

Even optimistically, this will not be a big enough movement to be a solution for a large portion of the African diaspora in the country. The majority of people are far too attached to modern conveniences to consider a pre-colonial traditional African lifestyle. What it could become, though, is proof that an alternative to the capitalist system is possible, proof that a stolen culture can be reclaimed, and a supportive community that any Black American can choose to turn to and be welcomed into if they've had enough of the system. And that, even if small, is far better than the non-existent alternatives that exist today.

[watermelinoe]

hii. I feel really odd doing this but I have nobody to ask for advice in real life and I can't post to reddit because surprise surprise all the radical feminist/gender critical subreddits got taken down, and you seem like a kind intelligent individual who might have good thoughts

so, my best friend whose fake name will be Aspen, and who in all honestly I've been completely in love with since we were seated next to each other in seventh grade pre algebra when I was eleven years old (I have never told them although I'm kind of awful at hiding it) is female but identifies as non-binary, and uses they/them (which is what I'm using here because I use those pronouns for them in real life and it feels odd to change that just in this ask). I was raised by a radical feminist philosopher, and I am itching to say who but then my cover would be completely blown, and I share almost all of her views, including the gender-critical ones.

the thing is that when I met Aspen and became absolutely enamored with who they are as a person and for about a year after that, I too identified as nonbinary and was very anti-radfem. I have since detransitioned and gone back to my birth name and everything and Aspen has been incredibly supportive, but I have never told them how my views have shifted about "transgender" politics. I have brought it up without explicitly stating it, we had a conversation where I genuinely inquired about how they felt their "gender identity" was different from simply being a gender non conforming woman and how being trans is supposedly different from identifying with the gender roles of another gender. they did not dismiss me and we actually had a productive conversation which really shows you how kind and smart they are. I think I introduced some new perspectives that may or may not end up being actionable on their part because as of now they haven't brought it up again though they did definitely seem receptive and genuinely thought about it.

obviously, I think that their gender identity and subsequent trans politics have been heavily influenced by general patriarchy and societal values, but as most radical feminists do, I do not at all believe that this is their fault. but I feel like I can't try to help them without alienating them or making them feel as if I don't love them or that I believe them to be broken in some way, especially given that they've identified this way since before I knew them and were very severely bullied for it growing up. for me, their identity and politics do not change the fact that they're my first and only love, and hands-down the kindest and most compassionate person I've ever met.

I adore them and I do not know how to balance that and my commitment to radical feminism, both of which I would fight to the death defending but which seem to inherently contradict each other, and I feel like I cannot do this juggling act forever and need to somehow make them understand what's behind their identity, keeping in mind their background, without breaking their heart and their trust in me as a person and a friend.

I'm so sorry to leave this in your askbox and you are not at all obligated to respond to it but you seem like someone who might have some insight

xM

i think this is comparable to loving someone who is deeply religious when you are an atheist. do you see yourself single-handedly deconstructing their faulty belief system? you can't make someone come to the conclusions you want them to, especially not a deeply held and essentially spiritual belief that is not rooted in reality. of course you can love someone despite a fundamental difference in beliefs, but you can't expect to change them, and that's okay. your commitment to radical feminism isn't evangelical, you're not responsible for converting other women and you're not only allowed to associate with other "believers." the connections we make with other women, meeting them where they are, are material and vital. it's fine to gently press back against her beliefs, and you should feel comfortable being open with yours.

[lakesbian]

I’ve gotten a couple people reading worm lately, and they keep running into the Weaver section and getting mad. They understand it from a Watsonian perspective; Taylor’s goals, the endbringers, and Dinah’s plan all make it make sense in universe why a girl continually failed and betrayed by The Man would try to resuscitate The Man. But i’m having trouble justifying it from a Doylist perspective. The story thus far has been about people who fall through the cracks (Pact reference!). People who society fails and who have their own myriad of reasons to distrust authority. Why would Wildbow make such an abrupt swing towards bootlicking? Or am i misunderstanding something about Worm?

worm isn't The Most Revolutionary Cop-Hating Media Ever but i don't think you can justify calling the weaver arc "an abrupt swing towards bootlicking" unless you're under the impression that whatever taylor does is de facto supposed to be seen as The Unimpeachably Correct Choice™️. immediately prior to deciding to be weaver, she has multiple experiences that really drill into her this idea that i discussed in a much older post:

the amount of grace or aid socially extended to you depends on how much power you have or how useful you are. when the principal actually helps taylor with emma right before she’s outed, it’s not because the system is suddenly working properly, it’s just because the system now favors taylor. when the kids who stand up for taylor in the cafeteria tell her why, the reasoning they give isn’t that it seemed like the right thing to do, but that she had done something for them or their families in the past. she’s not being helped in the cafeteria because bystanders are suddenly invested in doing the right thing, she’s being helped because she was useful. sure, she’s on top now, and that can feel pretty satisfying, but that doesn’t change that she’s only being helped because she’s on top. none of the structures which frustrated her at the start of the story have changed, only her position with them has.

which i assume you get, because you started the ask by talking about how it is plausible and in-character for her to attempt to resuscitate The Man despite being betrayed repeatedly by The Man! so i'm not sure where you're feeling it's unsatisfying on a thematic or narrative level; worm isn't presenting that taylor has suddenly regained idealistic hopes of Being A Hero and stopping The Bad Guys, nor is it asserting that the PRT is actually good and awesome because she's deciding to join it. taylor became "the authority," realized that staying where she was would only be continuing to benefit her (now in a position to receive the biased benefits she loathes that society doles out) without making any further improvements/societal changes she desired, and decided to join a different system of authority she thought would better allow her to prepare people for the end of the world. none of this is thematically at odds with how the PRT has been portrayed as a deeply harmful system, with how taylor has slipped through the cracks and been failed by society, etc., so i just don't see how you can draw the conclusion that it's bootlicking unless taylor being a warlord also means that wildbow is endorsing organized crime or taylor body-jacking thousands of people means wildbow is endorsing mass removal of bodily autonomy

[tiredapocalypse]

yesterday, we were arguing about psychology

someone said that if you study it, then you're going to get a new perspective and understand why the field is like that and why you shouldn't be so doubtful of it, that it's not psychology's fault that some bad apples exist and ruin it for their pacients

i study it. it's the 4th year. im getting a master's degree in clinical psychology, just like them. but the more i study, the more in contact i am with it, the more i realize how unfair this whole system is, how, no matter how good your intention, the fact that it's based in outdated ideas is going to end up hurting people, one way or another. everytime i go to class, someone, the majority of people, is ready to point a finger at a child and blame them for making their parents' lives hell, especially if there's the slightest hint of autism. do they even think about how they might harm them?

i swear, everyday i get sicker and sicker and want to run away from there. i'm not against therapy, it can be helpful and save lives, but the way it happens? how expensive it is? how little focus there is in social issues and how sometimes we can't do anything because the root of someone's problems is in society? and let's not talk about the amount of ignorance some people have. i have seen people being racist, transphobic, support abusive relationships, and none of that is seen as bad or odd. i've been dead named by future therapists, whilst the teachers insisted that we need to support everyone regardless of their views. acceptance above all, they preach, but where is it? at the end of it all, we need to fit into tiny boxes of what society finds "normal", or else we aren't "cured".

i don't hate psychology and, as much as i bitch about it, i don't hate psychiatry. but there's a serious need for change and we need to start at the roots of our beliefs and why we insist on using flaky or outdated practices .

[rockofeye]

A Note on Voting

Though early voting has been happening for awhile, tomorrow is the official federal Election Day in the United States. Some folks have asked what I as a vodouizan think.

It is my belief that the primary general concern of the lwa is liberation for all their children and, after that, all of the world. There is no liberation where inequity exists, and the state of the world in inherent inequity, powered by capitalism and it's diseased offspring, White supremacy. The model and lived reality of Haitian Vodou presents us with a look at what a world where capitalism does not carry ultimate weight and where White supremacy does not have the loudest voice looks like. It's not a beatific vision because we live in a truly imperfect world no matter how much we strive to drive out the colonial voice.

We are in a terrible situation in the US. Our current election between an out-and-proud fascist who has slowly been losing his mind live on TV for the last six months and a cop with a smile who can't find her way to condemn sending US bombs to a genocidal state bent on killing children. There is no viable third party system when the third party candidates are endorsed by David fucking Duke and are Trojan horses for Republican interests, dressed in a rainbow hat and hemp shoes.

Our political system is both out of control and deeply broken. There is no candidate that represents my interests or the interests of my family and communities. There is no liberation of the ticket and there won't be, no matter how I squint at it.

So what do we do?

In my professional life, I am a committed harm reductionist, which I view as a form of liberation. I help people design solutions that preserve their lives, even when the decisions they are making seem at odds with that. We plan how to inject drugs without dying and how to engage in sex work without getting arrested. We look for what is workable and what gets us to the next day.

I use that in talking about voting. What is going to get us to the next day with the least amount of loss? What is most workable?

A vote for the Republican candidate is a vote that will put hundreds of thousands of immigrants in danger. It will remove health and social safety nets, and it will enshrine White evangelical Christian nationalism as the national system of governance. Public education goes, birth control goes, divorce goes, public health services go...and on and on. Their playbook has been public. If the Creamsicle colored would-be dictator manages to die or gets hit with the 25th amendment stick, the Stepford Senator gets the seat and, from a personal perspective, that is who I am actually scared of.

From a community standpoint, Haitians (and others) will die as a direct result of both the fear mongering and plans for mass deportation of non-citizens (which includes everyone from folks who crossed the border without paperwork to legal permanent residents) back to a country currently so fragile that a case of strep throat can be a death sentence.

Is the Democratic candidate going to radically change the quality of life for any of us? Likely not, but I think she is workable. I think she can be pressured and frankly publicly harassed into addressing public interest issues. I think, at the very least, she has a manner of humanity and can at least accept that human suffering exists and that the answer is not threats to shut down television networks or state that opponents should be shot. I am nervous about her border policies, but I also think it is less likely she is going to start executing people at the border, like her Republican peer has suggested.

Lots of folks refuse to vote for the Democratic nominee because of her refusal to condemn genocide. I don't disagree and I wish I could justify that to myself, but what scratches me in the back of the head is what if this mess comes down to hundreds of votes? What if the national count is less than a five thousand vote margin? How will I feel or live with myself if I don't suck it up and do it, and Project 2025 becomes law? What happens to all the people I know who want to vote but are unable to?

So, I will take a deep breath and vote what part of my square peg conscience I can fit into the round hole on my ballot. I will vote down the ticket in the same way, because the Senate and the House are as important, if not more.

If this massive moment of social anxiety is soothed by the outcome, it can't be seen as the end. It is a stopgap and an opportunity to demand real, tangible change. Ties must be cut with genocidal states and sanctions placed. Funds must be directed to assist our unhoused neighbors. The process of immigration must be made simpler and the obligation of a world superpower to receive those fleeing the countries we have destabilized must be recognized. Children need to stop being killed by US bombs and we need to stop poisoning our world.

This will be a time of accountability in the word towards liberation. It will be an invitation to be a co-conspirator to the vision of abolition embodied by Haitian Vodou and the lwa, and it's really up to us whether we pick it up and run or if we collectively fuck it up again. I'm hoping for our resiliency in the faces of these systems of oppression.

No matter the situation, the lwa bring hope, and I hope for the opportunity to not live under violent fascism. Living under passive fascism is hard enough. I'm hoping for a less wrenching outcome than many of us fear, and I will be saying my prayers and sitting as anxiously as many of you. Have a drink or a snack and be secure in the knowledge that our liberation is our responsibility, and they can't stop it.

Be blessed.

[circular-bircular]

Christianity and Plurality

I want to preface this with a few different things. 

Firstly, I don’t fully identify with the label plural, even if I used to; I struggle to see my plurality as “plurality,” even if I do technically fall under that label. I’ve been working on finding a good alternative, but at the end of the day, I still associate with certain plural ideals and symbols, and regardless of how much I’d rather not associate with that community, I am forcibly put into that community due to my disorder. I feel qualified to talk about plurality from a personal experience lens, but as always, do not take my word as the one and only truth.

Secondly, I have wavered somewhere between Christian, Agnostic, Atheist, and various other styles of “ex-Christian who is traumatized by the religion.” I’m not entirely sure what label to apply to my religious ideals, particularly as, I didn’t think I’d be figuring this out due to… syscourse, of all fucking things. Through all of this, I think I’ve determined I am Christian, just… loosely.

Lastly, connecting to the syscourse point: I really don’t want to make this post. The only reason I am is because I haven’t seen people who share my perspective speaking out, despite knowing that many do, and I figure… If I won’t, who will? As a Christian who struggles with modern Christianity, and a system who struggles with modern Plurality(™), I feel the need to speak up about all this drama lately regarding the topic of a Plural God, and how it is negatively impacting me. I want to speak my truth, y’know? 

So, let’s talk about it.

When I was still going to church weekly, I was part of both the children’s worship and the more adult sermons. I watched the sermons for adults before heading downstairs to work with the children and see their lesson. By and large, I appreciated the latter far more than the former, as I felt it got to the core of the religion without frustrating semantics and vague ideas. 

In all of these spaces, when the topic of the Holy Trinity was mentioned, it was… odd and definitely confusing for me, especially as someone who struggles with AND without things being seen in absolutes. I’m unsure what denomination I fell under (my parents refused to inform me, saying we’re all the same under God) but the approach was the same for the three different churches I recall attending.

The Holy Trinity (the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit) was a triad of things. The Father was God, the Son was Jesus, and the Holy Spirit was what came after Jesus’s death. However, it was secondly the phrase, “My God is three-in-one,” referring to the idea that God is present in all of those ideals, having given the world Jesus, and having predetermined Jesus’ sacrifice to save us from our sins. Lastly, the Holy Trinity was a concept and belief, and that was what was focused on the most. See, the denominations I was raised in specified that belief in God and the Son and the Holy Spirit were just that: a belief. That our belief in God is what made us worthy of salvation, and thus, the Spirit of God was in all of us. 

It was known to me that God was not also Jesus and was not also the Holy Spirit. They were separate, but each part informed the other, and our understanding of those three separate parts formed one unified belief.

With this new rise of the comments that God is an endogenic system… It feels incredibly disjointed from the childhood beliefs I’d learned and absorbed. Suddenly, my belief is something that isn’t factored in; the Holy Spirit is now something solid and tangible, an entity rather than my faith in Christ and the Lord. The best comparison I’ve been able to come to is how people play with Greek myth, making it more modernized while ignoring the original premise and meaning behind the myths -- No, no, Persephone wanted to marry Hades, really (ignoring the kidnapping of Greek maidens and the betrayal inherent to motherhood, yada yada yada yada).

If God were an endogenic system, suddenly, Jesus’s sacrifice is the death of God as well (as headmates share the same body). Unless people are attempting to say that Jesus’s death was only innerworld, in which case, we’re now saying, “The death that led to the salvation of humanity from eternal damnation was entirely in the innermind of God.” 

It removes the human element of everyone else in these biblical stories. It removes the human context, the failure of humanity (and the successes) from the core essence of Christianity and centers instead solely on this idea of plurality. 

Then we get to the Holy Spirit, and it all breaks down more. Now the endogenic headmate of God is inside of me? Now you’re stating that my belief is on the same level as my parts; but it’s not. God is not in my head — he’s in my heart and soul. He’s not an alter. 

I will say, this is no fault of those who are sharing this headcanon, but I want to add it to provide context for why people may be feeling particularly heated about this topic. I’m currently in a very stressful time in my life, and this discussion of a plural God has made me start thinking about all of this at an incredibly poor time. Made me start thinking about the concept of the Holy Spirit being an alter, rather than the presence of God’s love in me, and how it’s suddenly more concrete. This has been sending my demonic and angelic alters into quite a tizzy, especially as one of those demons (Numb) is a protector who is certain I’ll be splitting a fucking Jesus introject.

Needless to say, this wouldn’t be good for us.

But do you see how the spiral arises?

I will say, I don’t feel that the belief that God is an endogenic system is inherently bad, and having a belief in God that could negatively impact someone else’s view of God or even just them as a person is not on that person’s shoulders. Again, I only mention the splitting thing because I want people to understand that these topics are stressful — and not just for “ridiculous anti-endos.” 

I’m also not saying it’s bad to play around with the concept of God and adopt new beliefs that are outside the norm. Quite the contrary; I’m sitting here with the belief that God is a genderless being using He/Him and They/Them in conjunction, that Jesus qualifies as trans and queer, and that Joseph and his technicolor dreamcoat put on a stellar drag show for the Pharaoh, his lover. I know plenty of Christians who would have a heart attack at these ideas.

The issue I do have is that those who are saying that God is an endogenic plural are not doing so (excuse the pun) in good faith.

When I say that Jesus is trans, I do not do so to “raise awareness of transness in Christian spaces” or to “own the bigots and reclaim Christianity.” I do so because I genuinely believe it to be true, and I like to share that truth. I share it to help others gain more perspective about religion, not about transness. I also share it with those I know would receive it, as I don’t want to push others away from the concept of transness or Christianity by offending them -- religion should not be the starter course of acceptance.

And yet, in all of the discussions I’ve seen of this topic, it has not felt that anyone is actually saying this because they truly believe it. It doesn’t feel like people are saying this to share their joy and wonderment about finding themselves in their religion. It feels instead like people who are purposefully trying to bait anger or confusion in order to manipulate people into learning something, or even simply to be cruel. As a teacher, and as someone who was also manipulated by the church, I can attest that manipulating people in this way doesn’t… help. Why are people purposefully seeking anger? This literally goes directly against the edicts of the God you’re theorizing about. 

In the past few weeks, I’ve seen more vitriol at the “colonizing homophobic Christian bigots” than I’ve seen for years, particularly as I’ve tried to avoid any mentions of my religion in public after years of abuse (both from my religious parents, and from non-religious peers). I try to avoid it because people form assumptions about me if I mention my religion, even in passing. Let’s not forget the poll that stemmed from this that lumped all Christians under the straight white label, an issue that persists and that queer Christians have tried to fight for goddamn years. 

And all of these people are going on about a plural God. 

It just feels… disconnected. Like the people saying this don’t actually say it to connect to God, but rather, to tread on those religious beliefs for their own agenda. It feels like people using my religion for their own means, without actually caring a lick about the meaning behind what I believe. 

And that’s why I’m hurt. 

I ask kindly that people consider not using a religion they don’t believe in for their crusade for more acceptance of Endogenic systems, or at least, to do so with the intention of actually interacting with the religion as more than a simple mythology. Please try to consider the context of these stories, the power behind these beliefs, and the impact that imposing modern systems (another good pun) on these beliefs could have.