jack-of-aces
The Jack of Aces
2K posts
Figure it out.
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
jack-of-aces · 4 days ago
Text
And are these “competitive wages” in the room with us right now?
5 notes · View notes
jack-of-aces · 6 days ago
Text
Hey anyone else remember that part in Fahrenheit 451 where they sent the metal police dog after the main character and when the main character escaped notice, they sicked it on some random guy just walking around, because everyone was watching the manhunt on TV and the government wouldn’t allow for it to look unfinished or like they were incompetent by letting their mark escape.
27 notes · View notes
jack-of-aces · 12 days ago
Text
Emeralds are difficult to acquire and difficult to eat…
1 note · View note
jack-of-aces · 12 days ago
Text
Grapes are easy to acquire and easy to eat!
2 notes · View notes
jack-of-aces · 25 days ago
Text
Pressing random tiles in minesweeper. Just to feel something.
0 notes
jack-of-aces · 1 month ago
Text
Nonono, Champagne is the city. You’re thinking of Champagne’s Monster.
0 notes
jack-of-aces · 1 month ago
Text
I can't stop thinking about this reddit post on soapmaking dude
Tumblr media
I cannot express what an insane recipe that is. No one else could grasp it either
Tumblr media
Like beeswax doesn't. It kinda just stays as beeswax in the soap. The lye has nowhere to go with it. That liquid seeping out of the soap? The brown and clear drops?? That's lye. That's straight up lye. This mf made the soap equivalent of the Chernobyl elephants foot.
67K notes · View notes
jack-of-aces · 2 months ago
Text
rubbing my penis
37K notes · View notes
jack-of-aces · 3 months ago
Text
And remember, engineering graduates. The number one rule of any ship design is make it entirely explode if it gets bumped the wrong way. Like hitting your funny bone.
3 notes · View notes
jack-of-aces · 6 months ago
Text
I have a live grenade in my pocket and I’m not afraid to
3 notes · View notes
jack-of-aces · 6 months ago
Text
Someone matched my freak 13 dead 79 injured
1 note · View note
jack-of-aces · 6 months ago
Text
Guy who dries his dishes on a spin cycle like
[horrible cacophony of shattering ceramic and mechanical motors]
2 notes · View notes
jack-of-aces · 6 months ago
Text
[dumping kerosene on your lawn] Don’t you hate it when people set your house on fire?
1 note · View note
jack-of-aces · 6 months ago
Text
The really fucked up thing about it is the game looks fun based on the demo. That’s a game I want to play. Unfortunately when I download it it’s actually an ad player that occasionally has minigames.
0 notes
jack-of-aces · 6 months ago
Text
If you’re there when I die I’m taking you down with me.
i never understood when people say we're all born alone and we'll all die alone.
Never mind that I have a twin,,, who is ever born without a mother?? It's a simple fact of life that we literally can't be born alone??
5 notes · View notes
jack-of-aces · 6 months ago
Text
Neither of my parents were present for my birth.
i never understood when people say we're all born alone and we'll all die alone.
Never mind that I have a twin,,, who is ever born without a mother?? It's a simple fact of life that we literally can't be born alone??
5 notes · View notes
jack-of-aces · 7 months ago
Text
“You wouldn’t say that about your sewing machine—”
I command the sewing machine. It caters to my whims. The sewing machine holds no sway over my being as it knows without it I will hand sew as I always have. It knows not the toaster’s pride. You know nothing and will perish come winter.
I don’t even check the toaster settings before I start it. If my toast burns that is between the toaster and God.
4 notes · View notes