Text
i accidentally deleted a bunch of photos that were super important 2 me i am so fucking distraught i feel sick
#ive tried multiple ways to recover them and nothing is working i cant stop crying o(-<#no silly cat image can possibly represent the feeling i felt when i realized what i had done#i am so sad i am so mad at myself#i dont know. what to do#i feel so hollow#i want to sh but i cant even#i hate that pictures r the only way i can save memories#i hate how bad my memory is#im too stupid#i cant remember anything#and now ive destroyed all of them
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
originally for my ask/rpblog!
#you cant REALLY tell but goro's ears r red in his 2nd panel#TY FOR THE ASK!!! these were really silly and fun LMAODSJKGSDFW#i still want to come up w scenarios fr the other thieves but my smlal brain... soon... ueueue#drawing on my laptop sucks so bad btw the lag is insane even with only like 30 or so layers GET ME OUT#cele draws#sumire yoshizawa#akira kurusu#goro akechi#shusumi#akesumi#royal trio#(its also defijnintely sh/uakes/umi but wont tag since no jokercrow in here but IT IS. IN MY MIND PALACE!!!)#persona 5 royal
181 notes
·
View notes
Text
act i scene i: older, childless, bachelor Barbarian!Bakugo finds you six months pregnant hiding in an empty stable during one of his clan raids--and instead of slaughtering you as a much younger him might've done...he throws you onto his cart of treasures and decides to take you home so he can start the family he never had with you and your child as his bride and baby.
#bakugo#i actually wrote a bunch out for this but i dont like it and it's too long so here you go#if i work on it some more tonight ill reblob this with it#but for now heres the premise (it's dark srry):#sh*t gets weird ofc#im imagining you got preggo at the last raid you went through but managed to survive#so it's not like you want the child anyway#and when he raids your village like lowk you dont care bc it isnt your home . plus youre not even expecting to survive#since you have no husband and are incapacitated with baby#so youre just waiting to die essentially but then this sexy barbarian saves you thinking hes being ... nice#bakugo is like. well now is a good time as any since idf like anyone in my village#and youre just like dam this sucks#anyway LMFAOOOOOO then youre in his house having this baby and the whole town is invested in this tea#and not only does bakugo have to win you over ... he has to convince u life is worth living#and that he's really gonna be the dad to your baby#you try running away after giving birth and ofc u cant do it and he has to rescue you#and youre so upset#but he washes you up and scolds you in his tongue for being stupid#and hes not gonna keep u forever if its not what u want but#he really does want the baby and you if youll have him#and everyone is rooting for him and likes u so much#even tho ur like a feral mama cat#jfalsdjkfladksjf#gen#shii posts#pregnancy tw
63 notes
·
View notes
Text
Volo showing off his worm to Emmet
Tw : Lore /hj
With Volo having severe dementia i do think that he would forget everything about pokemon battles and such as he used his powers for a very long time and slowly forgot about how pokemon battles worked. He is also not used to human interaction which makes it hard for him to understand what others are saying to him and hard to bond with humans as he strongly despises them. Volo currently doesnt have a main pokemon team but he brings along the ones that he has a good bond with (example, his Togekiss that he raised since he was a little goober), he doesnt use his pokemon for battling but rather just spending time with them, like ya know, like a family? (ah yes, bringing Arceus, Giratina, Palkia and Dialga as if its a completly normal thing for god himself LMAOOO)
Volo is just a single mom, leave him alone, he just wanna be with his kids than some goofy ahh humans💔
i might edit this later cuz my eyes are about to close like the gates (might also fix the drawing cuz i was in a rush)
#pokemon#pokemon au#volo#emmet#giratina#dreepy#pokemon volo#pokemon emmet#i drew these mfs again and i cant stop help me#hi yes hello welcome to lore. we have volo with dementia and emmet who constantly wants to witness god among him#kinda funny aint it💔#its almost 12 am as im writing this sh-#should i even tag the ship or wha#trainwreckshipping#they will not kiss your honor they will armwrestle
117 notes
·
View notes
Text
im feeling it tonight so this one goes out to all my girlies (gender neutral) with addictions. recovering from addictions. who don't want to recover from addictions. who are relapsing or have relapsed. who have moved from one addiction to the next. who cant recover from addictions. this one is for people with addictions other than drugs. shopping. sex. internet. food. self harm. all the weirdest and worst addictions that people may or may not consider normal. for all of you also trying to live in a world where addictions are so demonized, i see you. i love you.
#tw addiction#tw sh related#tw relaspe#mental health#addiction#s/h#cant tell anyone im addicted to cvtting without some asshole reaction srsly#i cant help it. i kinda dont want to help it. but its the truth and you need to accept that even if youre not happy about it#im notna drug addict but even so its the same story with overdosing#“stop it” and ??? how ??? why ??? when?? it feels good so why should i stop??#at least give me a valid reason damn it#and every time since the first the guy who just tells me to stoo gets this weird pitiful expression and i hate it#use your energy on someone who can help and/or who is more likely to benefit from these things#use your energy on someone who wants ti quit not stay bad/get worse#i get that youre worried but i am not the person who is going to value your worry over my own overwhelming urges
28 notes
·
View notes
Text
guess whos not going in at all this week, actually
#MY MANAGER EMAILED LIKE 2 HOURS B4 I HAD TO GO IN#she finally changed my schedule (1 day) to the night shift today#(i emailed her to be safe just kinda casually reaffirming im going in at the new time & then asking if any other shifts wanted 2 be changed#bcs that sounds great to me whstever option she goes with#she ignored that question & i get a new email from her asking if i completed a training. lets called it DOC#basically a long time ago she said 'i will send you DOC instructions soon' .. a few days pass and i get three 50 paged packets#one is called NAVIGATING DOC#im like oh ok cool that must be the DOC training shes talking abt bcs the other 2 packets were abt various trainings#NAH BRUH. APPARENTLY THE DAY IM SUPPOSED TO GO IN. SHE MESSAGES ME SOME ENTIRELY ALIEN PROGRAM#and is like 'u completed this right? cus if u didnt u cant come in today.'#LIKE?? MAYBE I WOULDA IF U SENT THE SHIT#but it's also like. dam i shouldve emailed prompting her to send what she said she would n clarifying BUT FUCK#WHY DO I GOTTA?? IM NOT THE MANAGER#she literally told me the name of the program rn thru email so i type it in and see like four hour long modules to complete#mind u i aint never even been informed a WHISPER abt this new program. nothings even labeled DOC TRAINING#but my struggle is. was i notified this?? and i just didnt see??? was i supposed to clarify with her what the DOC training was exactly??#the only thing ive heard abt doc training b4 this is 'i need to send u DOC training soon' in EMAIL. so i expected an alert#abt THE DOC TRAINING... in an EMAIL notification. WHAT THE HELL IS THIS#idk man#i dont even care bro like im busy as hell & the work is just to build clinic hours so i dont care abt the money factor#it's just like. can we get this first day jitters thing over with already?? im so over this bro#yaddayadda i emailed her an apology n ill be on that ASAP shit. but i did let her know i am basically justnnow seeing this site#n if there was any email or notif that couldve/tried to inform me of its existence 2 pls let me know / figure out how to find it#so the issue doesnt occur again & i dont have to keep botherinher which im so srry of bcs med is stress n shes just trying to get by#but still bro im a lil miffed bcs she probably thinks im stupid now and now im wondering if i AM#bcs WDYM ONLINE MODULES. AINT NOBODY SAID SH IT EVEN ABT THE EXISTENCE OF THEM!!! i wouldve pressed harder 4 clarification#if i knew it was an ONLINE MODULE i had to look out for on some randomass site i didnt even know the name of until now#instead of the EMAIL UVE BEEN 'COMMUNICATING' WITH ME ON#ARREGHHHHHHHH IM NOT STUPID. I SWEAR IM NOT STUPID FUCCK MY BAKA LIFE
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
went on a walk fully intending to kill myself but ended up buying bandaids
i guess i’m gonna have to stay around for a while
#planned to throw myself off a building but couldn’t find the building#im such a failure#cant even kill myself right#wtf why cant i just do it#988blr#self h@rm#baby cvts#cvtaddict#i wanna die#suic1de#sh cvt#sewer slide#$h#cvtt!ng#i wanna cvt#wanna die#i want to disappear#my post
15 notes
·
View notes
Text
I deleted the gofundme. There were no donations and now it’s too late. I feel like I failed my baby. His sister is all over him checking on him, but I had to leave him at my parents’ house and they promised they’ll update me on his condition. I’m absolutely devastated. I didn’t think I’d lose either of them this soon, especially not from something that seems to take so many people from my life.
I love you, Tigger. You were the greatest protector, the most adventurous indoor cat I’ve ever met, and such a wonderful brother to Flower. She’ll miss laying in the same cat bed with you and cleaning each other, and I’ll miss being woken up at 2 am by you breaking my door open and knocking everything off my shelves. I’ll miss seeing you sunning in your favorite alcove, or watching the birds outside from your cat tower. My little brother will miss you laying with him when he has nightmares or when our parents are reading to him. My mom will miss having to scold you to get off the table or on top of the fridge, only for you to climb back on. My dad will miss his tv buddy, his seat warmer. I will miss my best friend, my childhood protector, my baby I cradled in my arms from when you were a kitten.
#cat#my cat#tigger#cancer#grief#loss#mourning#goodbye#i cant even cry anymore#i cant feel anymore#theres been so much grief lately that im just#empty#i dont even want to be alive anymore#i dont want to hurt anymore#i sont want to always rhink about dying or being alone#i have never wanted to relapse in sh so badly#im trying so hard but i just eant to give up#im drowning and theres nothing i can do to save myself
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
with the way how my life works i deserve to have some sort of substance abuse to cope with the shitty things i go through but god made me gay for twinks instead
#i know its better but come ON im stressing the fuck OUTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT#cant do drugs. cant drink alcohol. cant smoke. (not even a religious rule thing i just dont like them)#want to sh BUT THIS BITCH IS SCARED OF SHARP OBJECTS AND BLOOD#pining over evil men is infinitely safer but i feel like i want more.#not to mention im sex repulsed irl. and im not looking for a relationship with a guy#what is this#I HATE THIS#personal#vent
13 notes
·
View notes
Text
something something kill myself
#i thought insane posting would make me feel a little better#but no now i just wanna slice her name into my skin down to the bone and bleed out and die#idec abt holding it back its 2 am.honestly life has gotten 10x as meaningless as it was before since our anni was basically ruined#and yknow what my life will always always be meaningless and yknow why?#because the one thing i am meant to live for the ONE THING that couldve made it all worth it doesnt physically exist in this reality#how am i supposed to find any point in life if my one true purpose is PHYSICALLY IMPOSSIBLE.#just imagining was enough for me when i could comfortably live inside my own mind but the outside stressors are too much now#its getting too much to bear and i have no home to go to when i want to just take the weight off my shoulders and relax#no im never home i dont have a home my home doesnt exist#but i just want to go home. i want to go home. i want to go home i want to go home i want to go home i want to go home i want to go home#i want to go home i want to go home i want to go home i want to go home i want to go home i want to go home i want to go home please#but i cant#i cant have anything to make it better#i cant even have a hug from the person i love most. or a smile or kind words or anything#i have nothing but me my phone and a framed poster of her that i have nowhere to hang up#and nowhere to go but flying off the roof of a 30 story building#i have nothing. my life is nothing. i am nothing.#sui tw#sh tw#whatever whatever goodnight
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
#just gonna get high n try not to sh i think#i wish i owned a hammer#that could fix me#i just want to be put in a hole locked in a hole#i can tell im going to overeat n ruin everything#ive already done so much bad#i cant do anything right#even me saying this is wrong#i think someone should come beat the shit out of me actually can i get any volunteers
8 notes
·
View notes
Photo
greg laughing the loudest at matsson’s shitty sh*vorce joke right in front of sh*v makes him braver than any us marine
#tomgreg#i cant breathejefkef#the fact that he looks to tom first and then laughs like that PLEASE#they are not slick. he litro said he was going to ken and roman matsson hates me YET he went over to them when tom and sh*v were both#there?? with matsson? and was conveniently there to laugh loudly at the idea of sh*vorce?#the joke wasn't even good.#it's. hm. yeah i'm sus lmfao. or delusional but the point is it's weird.#AND THATS ALL? LIKE GREG WANTS TO STAY BUT IS YANKED AWAY BY TOM#SO HIS PURPOSE WAS WHAT?? TO BE SUPPORT FOR TOM ONLY IF SH*V IS THERE AND THEN MATSSON JUST#HAPPENS TO MAKE A DIVORCE JOKE#and tom looks at him Like That while he's laughing like well done. and then pulls him away like OKAY THAT'S ENOUGH NOW#SORRY im absolutely insane but hm. hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.#tom might just be happy that greg is schmoozing matsson like he originally wanted but either way. greg went over there For tom#so i'm happy.#also shiv looking at greg after he says good to see you RRRRRRRRR#everything is so much and i'm insane so its good times
35 notes
·
View notes
Text
.
#sometimes your mh is just... bad#and you cannot stop your brain processes from.being fucked#and you know they're wrong and bad#but you cannot stop it#all you can do it sit there and feel like shit#over something that wouldnt be causing problems if you weren't in dark mode#but here are just like ew#disgusted at yourself#wanting to do irrational things#thinking irrational things#with no way to stop it#and cant even go to sleep bc theres no rest while you're like this#and you know its wrong and bad and you feel like shit#but theres no way to get out of it#and you know you dont truly feel like this when you're normal#it's like it' not even your feelings#wtf#wtf is this#i dont even#just another night where i spent 4 hours obsessively tearing out my hair and trying not to sh#not bc i didn't necessarily want to#that part wasnt even the irrational part#that's been... whatever#but simply bc i know it wouldnt even bring me relief from my current problem anyway#anyway#ignore me
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
seems like my heart does nothing but break lately
#oh my god dont read the tags. it breaks for everyone :( but on a more personal level#for my gf whos sinking deeper into something n i cant even help bc im a wreck myself but i am so so scared to lose her#still havent even been able to book a psych appointment n i rlly dont know where to go with all these ..em*tions#Guys i rlly dont understand one thing. how come one random freak whos in ur life at some point can derail a whole person like eons later#jeopardise their whole future just by crossing some lines for funz i really dont understand this#not fair not fair at all this is evil#and becasue u got unlucky someone wanted to be disgusting u have to carry the consequences#i rly still cant even say it i still cant even write it#i dont even know how . irl the only perosn i told in some capacity#is dealing with her own trauma and i hate that jsut being understanding is not enoughlike#Wow Lmao Its just Funny How it Shapes You. & U Can Never bury it forever becuz it will always catch up to you😂😂😂😂😂😂#AND THE PAST CAN NEVER BE ERASED 😃😃😁😁😂😂😂🔫🔫🔫🔫🔫🔪🔪#at least my gf has been taking steps to deal with it for.3 yrs and i just never even#LOL i feel like such a coward but the sh*me and the g**lt associated with the Thing..r so overwhelming i cant even admit it#what would i even do at the psych appointment like straight up what am i gonna say Lol#hai iam here to process something i dont actually remember probably becasue i was a child but imnot sure. n id rather#kms than tell u how i know 😂. So thats also why my heart breaks. for that little girl who was a ball of shame i guess and no matter#how much i cognitively.like rationally know its not my fault the ball of shame n guilt is still there#n it swallows me every time i vaguely start 2 think about acknowledging the Th*ng#or whatever. And thats just my end of the deal but my gf has it worse genuinely bc she remembers everything n still has to see the freak#n it went on for yrs n her family doesnt know n heres the worst thing hes a beloved family member a sweet boy with struggles of his own#well i hope he walks into traffic for doing what he did to her
11 notes
·
View notes
Text
love being so intoxicated I pass out at 4 pm and wake back up at 7
i am so functional and not at all spiraling
#bpd#bpd vent#bpd fp#bpd favorite person#actually borderline#actually bpd#trauma#substance use#substance abuse#I guess its better than sh#cant even talk to anyone bc i dont want to hurt the ppl this is about#ripping myself in half internally with zero reprieve if im capable of conscious thought#no one will ever accept both sides#whether they want the lovey dovey emo boy or the hypersexual possessive yandere no one ever wants both#just kill me#just end my shit and let me stop feeling#I can't do this#i can't keep feeling this way#just wanna be numb again
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
venting dont mind me xp ✌
#if i dont get out of my parents house im going to die#either by my hand or my mothers#i refuse to be forced into the role of woman becuz my mother cant get over herself or accept other peoples suffering#so i either leave or i die#i am never more depressed than when im in this house and it gets worse everytime i return#every second of oeace is a facade careful held up by smiles and jokes while ignoring who i am to please others#and ignorjng the genuinely genocidal beliefs of my parents against myltple peoples#at least one of which includes me#why cant life be easy#when is it .y turn to tbrive#in this hluse i am no older than a middle schooler no more mature or happy#everyday i dream of relapsing sh-ing just for some control of the pain i experiemce something anything#maybe someone will finally listen to me and se ehow ioset i am see how smothered i am and the sting will pull me back down to earth again#but no who would see would understand#my brothers or my parents none of them would kniw why even if i said it to thwir face#i dint event even want to think of what my mother woukd say#shed use it as an excuse to further deny my transness surely#say how horribke and spirtful and manipulative i am against her#that i ddi it to hurt her#i am trapped as a doll in a house only allowed to be agreeable no politics no emotions other tan#contentness and love and adoration for my family#or else i am unloveavle and horrible and sick#i cannot tell my mom she has uoset me becuz it would be unfair i am silent instead#i am to take her anger and rage as a perfect recepticle and no matter how well i handle it#i am thanked with resentment amd scorn amd terfisms#i can neither disagree woth her beliefs nor avoid discussing them to keeo the oeace all she wants is comoliance#i refuse to do that tho ill take hee scorn on that one thing i refuse to xomprimise my beliefs verbally to save my own skin#ill just be quiet#im sure id be a better recepticle for her dead so she can dress me up as a girl one last time#the dead cant argue or disagree with you its everything she wants from me
6 notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
