#and you cannot stop your brain processes from.being fucked
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#sometimes your mh is just... bad#and you cannot stop your brain processes from.being fucked#and you know they're wrong and bad#but you cannot stop it#all you can do it sit there and feel like shit#over something that wouldnt be causing problems if you weren't in dark mode#but here are just like ew#disgusted at yourself#wanting to do irrational things#thinking irrational things#with no way to stop it#and cant even go to sleep bc theres no rest while you're like this#and you know its wrong and bad and you feel like shit#but theres no way to get out of it#and you know you dont truly feel like this when you're normal#it's like it' not even your feelings#wtf#wtf is this#i dont even#just another night where i spent 4 hours obsessively tearing out my hair and trying not to sh#not bc i didn't necessarily want to#that part wasnt even the irrational part#that's been... whatever#but simply bc i know it wouldnt even bring me relief from my current problem anyway#anyway#ignore me
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