#i want to hug them so hard all their trauma goes away

[the5n00k]

Character analysis essay: (kind of, it's mostly me just rambling)

The Ghost and Molly McGee and the concept of unconditional love and acceptance

‼️Spoilers ahead for both seasons 1 and 2!‼️

The Ghost and Molly McGee is one of the most special animated tv shows I've ever seen for several reasons but none quite as special to me as this. A ton of shows, especially on Disney channel, boast of their friendships between the main characters and their hijinks they get into but none have quite impacted me like the friendship between the two titular characters Molly and Scratch. I mean when I first watched this series in July after the season 1 finale, I expected to have a brief period of obsession, a few drawings, and then I'd move on. As you can tell by my blog, that did not happen. (For better and for worse)

People dismiss this show because of the more grounded slice of life episodic approach it takes but honestly I feel like that's it's strongest aspect. It allows the characters to have more moments where they can just slow down and connect. There's no urgent threat (save for a few episodes) that needs to be addressed or the world will end. The characters get to talk, react, and grow because of its slower pace. I say slower loosely because this show will also throw jokes at you harder and faster than an automatic tennis ball server but it knows when to take a moment seriously when it needs to. (This is also why season 1 Amphibia is my favorite and y'all can fight me for it.)

Now onto my main point; Molly and Scratch's relationship.

They start out rough. REALLY rough. They're not good for each other in the slightest. Scratch is mean and constantly trying to sabotage Molly and Molly is controlling, dragging Scratch along on her daily tasks even if he expresses how much he does not want to come along. But no matter how terrible they treat each other, there's still a level of care.

Take First Day Frights or The Unnatural for example. Scratch is more than willing to watch Molly fail until he sees her getting picked on, something he's experienced almost every day of his afterlife, possibly his living one too. He has this connection to her early on, he has this empathy. He'd never expressly admit it and he still tries his hardest to make her give up MANY times throughout season 1 either for his own amusement, thinking the effort isn't worth both of their time, or simply because he has to keep Brighton miserable. But seeing her upset always sets something off in him. And while he doesn't verbally admit he cares about her until the season finale, he does eventually acknowledge her as his best friend (although in that instance it was more to spite Libby) and acknowledge himself as part of her family. The most notable episodes that highlight their more stable relationship are season 1, 18-20 (for those unaware, that would be Out of House and Home/Home is Where the Haunt is, Scaring is Caring/All Night Plight, and The Jig is Up/Molly Vs the Ghost World)

Moving onto season 1 Molly now, she was controlling and seemed to enjoy annoying Scratch in almost a sibling-like behavior, poking him, teasing him, playing with his "hair" but the further you get into the series, the less annoying these feel and the more endearing they become. She also begins to respect his boundaries more, summoning him less and kind of letting him do his own thing in the general area while she has her own plot going on. (Goat Your Own Way and gags ... The Internship) And even after the curse is broken, she seems willing to let him move on away from her if that's what he really wants. She's more interested in his happiness now than her own. Letting go of that control is HUGE for her considering how much emphasis she put on him being her first forever friend. She didn't even expose him to Libby until she got his permission. I brought it up once and I'm bringing it up again dammit.

These two broken, mistreated, flawed people who found each other by complete coincidence would do anything and go to the ends of the earth for each other. And they did.

Moving onto season 2 I was terrified they would regress in some way from this. It was such a high note and a perfect end to their arc all throughout season 1, but now there was this new status quo. They were used to each other now. They could feel like completely different characters at this point. But they weren't, in fact they're even better.

They fight, they argue, they disagree on A LOT of things, but at the end of the day they're even more supportive and loving of each other than ever before.

They're not tearing each other down anymore, they're actively building each other up. Making the other a better person. Cheering them on. This even extends to the B characters like Libby and Darryl, they feel like a close-knit family. Even when they argue, the first thing they see when they say each other again is "I'm sorry" which is HUGE for Scratch, acknowledging fault was (and still is to some degree) really hard for him. They love each other no matter what. They've still got their issues, Molly still feels like she needs to burn herself out to make others happy and Scratch is still calloused and mean towards new additions to his social circle but that just makes them feel more authentic. I don't want them to be perfect. Watching them improve yet still struggle with the same issues they had at the start of the series makes them feel so real. For being a show that's mostly episodic with loose continuity, the development its characters go through is so slow burn sometimes you don't even notice it just binging the series. But if you jump back and forth between an early season 1 episode to a late/season 2 episode, it is STAGGERING.

Molly doesn't love Scratch because he stopped being mean. Scratch doesn't love Molly because she stopped being an overbearing ball of energy. They've loved each other in spite of that. They see past these flaws to their source and relate to the feelings they stem from. At their core, Molly and Scratch are exactly the same; social outcasts seemingly doomed to never having lasting connections. They just responded differently to what they had to go through, their two extremes are even similar in some ways with over possessiveness and insecurity. When Scratch was defending himself to Libby, he couldn't even name any of his redeeming qualities. And Molly still thought Scratch wanted to leave her in spite of everything. They're so torn from their experiences and that drives them closer together. I'm tearing up writing this.

They're broken but they're healing. They're best friends forever. One without the other would not be the same person. Although they aren't codependent, they've gotten along fine on solo adventures without the other needing to step in and solve their problem. They're healthy in their toxic behaviors because they call each other out. I don't consider a relationship toxic if there's noticeable improvement and growth. They're mature in their immaturity, their friendship is so simple and sincere. They enjoy each other's company and don't care who knows it. They're weirdos and so is everyone else they're friends with. Save for maybe Geoff. I don't think a single soul hates Geoff. I'm getting off topic but their friendship is something I always wanted.

They know they're broken, they know they're flawed and selfish at times. But they're trying. And that effort is sometimes all that one can ask for. The dream team for all eternity.

[writing-until-i-drop]

What's In A Name? Chapter Two

Meg Harding and Kate Carter were inseparable until their friends died five ago, then she ran to New Orleans to save lives as a paramedic. But when Javi calls on his two oldest friends to help him collect data, counting on their matching natural instincts for tornadoes, Meg goes home for the first time in years. That's where she meets Tyler and the rest of the Wranglers, the YouTube storm chasers her dad likes to watch, and finds herself fitting in more with them than with Storm PAR. Meg only plans to stay for the week but will it be easy to leave when the dust settles?

If a certain cowboy has a say in it, nothing about leaving is going to be easy.

A/N: A failed tornado chase and a long night at the bonfire.

AO3 Link

Previous Chapter

Welp. That had been a shit show. Kate had panicked before Meg and Javi could get the PAR on the ground, nearly driving off without them. Javi had been frustrated out of the gate but quickly realized just how pale their friend had gotten, the trauma clear in her eyes. Neither of them needed to ask what she had been thinking, it was clear as day that Kate had been reliving the EF-5 that had taken their friends.

Meg had been shaken being so close to a tornado again but she had come to terms with the situation a long time ago thanks both to her line of work as a paramedic and to the views on life and death in her adoptive home of New Orleans. 

By the time they pulled into the shitty motel they’d be staying in for the night, the parking lot was filled with chasers throwing a little party, drinking, smoking, and dancing. There were even a few bonfires going, which Meg was sure the owners of the motel loved. 

“Haven’t we stayed here before?” Javi asked as the trio strolled towards the motel, Meg scrunched her nose, trying to recall if they had stayed at this specific shitty motel before. 

“Yeah, Javi,” Kate chuckled, “We’ve stayed in every motel in Oklahoma.” The three of them laughed, they really had stayed in a lot of motels while chasing storms for Kate and Parveen’s research.

“Remember we used to have Addy check in?” Javi reminisced, “Then later, we’d all sneak into the room just so we could all save ten bucks?” Kate and Meg were nodding along to the memories and Kate slipped her hand into Meg’s intertwining their fingers like old times. “We’d have Addy do it because she just looked-”

“So sweet,” The trio said together, laughing.

“She was also a cover hog, Kate and I would always end up cuddled up together to stay warm.” Kate snorted,

“And Parveen’s snoring?” 

“Oh my god, not even industrial earplugs could block him out,” Javi added and they trailed off into a comfortable silence. “Hey, um, do you guys want to hang out later?” Javi asked and before Meg could agree, Kate was already shaking her head.

“We’re a little tired, Javi,” Kate spoke for the two of them like she always had. It didn’t bother Meg but she also wished that Kate was more open to having some fun after what they had been through that day. “Maybe another night?” Javi’s face fell but he recovered quickly, smiling at them.

“Yeah, alright, goodnight.”

“Night, Jav,” Meg hugged him tight, giving him a peck on the cheek. “Take a shower, you stink,” 

“Yet somehow you still smell fresh as a cow’s ass, Meg,” Javi teased, ruffling her already messy hair. Kate pulled her away from Javi towards their shared room, quietly humming a tune Meg didn’t recognize. “It’s good to have y’all back!”

“I’m not back,” Kate shook her head with a smile. Javi’s eyes landed on Meg who was grinning, shrugging,

“You’ve got a week to convince me, Jav.” That lit his face up like a kid on Christmas.

They were halfway up a set of stairs when Tyler’s voice stopped them.

“City Girl, Louisiana,” The rest of the Wranglers shouted in greeting. Seeing them up close and personal, Meg was reminded not only of her friends but of her family, the chasers who she had grown up around and it made her smile. This was why her dad and the crew liked watching the streams so much, they saw themselves in the Wranglers and now that’s all Meg could see. A fondness grew in her heart for them. “The cells to the west will choke each other out, they said. The one to the east will put on a show.” Boone had a shit-eating grin on his face, obviously drunk as he hung off the side of Tyler’s truck.

“Well, it didn’t throw you off the scent,” Kate bit out with fake amusement.

“Hey, that’s what makes Tyler famous,” Boone gestured to his friend, who flushed at the compliment, turning his attention back to the weather instrument he was fixing.

“On YouTube?” Kate teased sarcastically but Boone was too far gone to get the nuance of the situation.

“Uh, yeah, yeah. We’re on YouTube.” He looked towards the rest of the crew, “We got what? About a million subscribers now?” The Wranglers whooped in excitement.

“Yes, sir,” The one Meg recognized as Lily chimed in, focused on her drone. Ben, the reporter from earlier in the day, came closer with his little notepad.

“Um, Kate and Meg what? In case I mention you in the article I’m writing,” Kate physically pulled away from the situation, trying and failing to look relaxed.

“Um, just Kate’s fine.”

“Starts with an H if that helps, Ben,” Meg gave him a tight smile, unwilling to share her famous surname in a parking lot full of chasers. Ben dutifully noted the information.

“They’re tricky,” Tyler remarked. Boone took over again, leaning dangerously far off of the truck.

“Actually, you made a good call earlier. The other cell looked stronger but the cap never broke.”

“What’s a cap?” Ben looked painfully confused and Meg felt bad for him, being so out of his element. Dexter’s explanation didn’t help much so Meg added in,

“Think of it as a shield in the atmosphere that prevents a tornado from forming.” That’s how Preacher had explained it to her as a kid, she saw the lightbulb go off in Ben’s head as he scribbled it down. “Are you hurt, Ben?” The man touched his temple where there was a bit of dried blood,

“‘Tis but a flesh wound, my dear.” Meg rolled her eyes, dropping her backpack on the ground and hopping the railing, landing deftly on the ground with the Wranglers with her heavy medical bag on her shoulder. 

“Let the professional be the judge of that.” Meg knelt, digging out an alcohol wipe and a few bandages while the conversation flowed around them.

“Where did you guys all meet?” Kate asked, “Did you all study meteorology at U of A?” That got a laugh out of the rowdy group, none of whom had formally studied besides Tyler.

“This is going to burn for a second probably, alright, Sweetie?” Ben winced as she swiped away the dried blood. The wound wasn’t big, already scabbed over, so Meg put a regular bandaid on it, one of the bandaids she kept for kids with a smiling kitten on it. “Right as rain. Anyone else need a checkup?” 

“You a doctor?” Lily asked, both brows raised.

“Nah, just a paramedic but I can fix you up if something’s bothering you.” 

“Well, I hit my bicep on the camper door, I think you should kiss it better,” Dani said with a grin, teasing her. Meg rolled her eyes but happily crossed their set up to the impressively muscular woman. “Right here, Doc.” She flexed, pointing to a perfectly tan spot on her arm.

“I agree with your diagnosis, here,” Meg kissed the woman’s arm, “All better?” 

“Here hurts too,” She pointed at her cheek and Meg obliged. “Thanks, Doc. All better.” 

“I guarantee you, these guys have seen more tornadoes than anyone else on this lot combined.” 

“Not likely,” Meg snorted softly. Dani gave her a questioning look, “Not my first rodeo by a long shot, Sweet Thing.” 

“Really, do tell, Doc,” Meg shook her head, “I ain’t nearly drunk enough to start telling stories.”

“Dexter, get this fine-looking woman a beer,” Meg looked up at Kate who was shaking her head with an easy smile on her face, used to Meg making friends anywhere they went.

“Where are you chasing tomorrow?” Lily asked Kate, who looked like she was going to answer when Tyler interrupted her. Dexter dutifully handed Meg an unopened can of Budweiser.

“Oh no, no, no, not falling for that again. Kate’s from New York, you can’t trust a word she says.” Meg snorted, covering it up with a cough, thanking Dexter for the beer. Tyler must have never heard a New York accent before because Kate’s twang, as much as she tried to hide it, was so clearly southern.

“Well, you can always trust a guy who puts his face on a t-shirt,” Kate snarked with a grin, getting yet another laugh out of the Wranglers. “See you in the room, Mud Bug.” Kate shouldered Meg’s bag and headed up the stairs.

Dani pulled a folding chair out of the van and motioned for Meg to join them, Boone, who had been focused on Kate, joined them after a few seconds.

“You seem like a cool cat, Meg. Don’t tell me you got one of those fancy degrees too,” Meg shook her head, taking a sip of the cold beer with a sigh.

“Just a bachelor's in public health.” 

“So you were sniffing the dirt for fun?” Tyler called down from the top of his truck,

“Said I never studied, doesn’t mean I haven’t been around more twisters than in your wildest dreams,” Meg called back, getting a pat on the shoulder from Dani. “Here, Sweet Thing, my first tattoo,” She pointed to her bicep, where there was a large illustration of a tornado with Dorothy’s sensors flying in it.

“Shit, that’s cool, what’s in it?” 

“Y’all know about Dorothy?” Dexter perked up, spinning around,

“I do!”

“What’s Dorothy?” Ben asked, pen poised over his notebook again. Meg would have to text her mom about this, it would make her coo with laughter imagining her daughter enthralling a group of chasers and a reporter with stories about her and her husband’s old project.

“It revolutionized tornado data,” Dexter spoke excitedly.

“Yep, two Muskogee State PhDs and their team came up with the idea to send sensors up a tornado’s funnel, which recorded real-time data about the tornado. Allowing them to create a better early warning system.” 

“Bill and Jo Harding,” Dexter added, “They’re legends in the field.” Meg had a sneaking suspicion that Dexter would have a heart attack if he ever met her parents. “Can I see it?” He gestured to her arm and she held it out for him. Dexter snapped a photo of it with his phone with Meg’s permission.

“Seeing a twister suck up those sensors is a godly experience,” Meg teased, taking a long drink of her beer as she watched her words sink in.

“You’ve watched Dorothy be deployed?”

“Many times, like I said, not my first rodeo. Kate and Jav’s seen it too once or twice.” Boone’s face soured,

“What are you doing with that crowd anyway? Storm PAR ain’t great company to keep.” Meg filed that information away for a later date, not wanting to ruin the moment.

“I ain’t here to be with them, I’m here for Kate, who’s here to help out an old friend.” Boone seemed satisfied with that answer, 

“Shit, you got a lot of tattoos.” 

“This ain’t even all of them, Boonie Baby,” She realized her mistake as soon as the nickname left her mouth. Lily was the first to round on her,

“You watch our streams?” 

“I’ve seen a few minutes here and there, darlin’, enough to know who y’all are.” Tyler climbed down off of the truck, giving her an appraising look that had Meg turning pink. 

“I was right, Louisiana, you are a tricky one.” Meg rolled her eyes, “What’s so funny?” 

“Not from Louisiana, Arkansas,” Boone chuckled at his friend’s expense, patting him on the shoulder. “Take another guess.” 

“Texas?” 

“Say that again and I’ll slash your tires, Sweetie Pie,” Meg was a proud Sooners fan, her hatred for the Texas Longhorns running deep. Tyler barked out a laugh, shaking his head. 

“An Oklahoma girl then, I should’ve known.” Ben looked confused again, so Meg bailed him out, explaining the college football rivalry. “So, if this isn’t your first rodeo, what was?” 

“You always goin’ around askin’ girls what their first tornadoes were?” Meg teased,

“Only the pretty ones.” Meg’s blush deepened, “So, what was it, Oklahoma?” Meg finished her beer,

“Got anything stronger?” Boone happily fetched her another can, this time it was purple with a high APV rating on the bottom. He perched himself on the edge of the table Lily was working on, Tyler coming to stand at his side.

“My parents loved to chase a storm, any storm, and when I was five we were out to dinner when dad realized something big was about to break. So, they threw me in the car, and off we went. It came down right in front of us, maybe a hundred yards down the road. We were stupid close to an F-3,” 

“EF-3, you mean?” Tyler tried to correct her, eyes widening when she shook her head.

“This was 2001, Sweetie Pie, now hush, I’m telling a story.” 

“Yeah, Ty, hush,” Dani huffed. Meg took great pleasure in Tyler’s blush and the way he looked away from the group to hide it.

“It was beautiful, watching it uproot the trees along the road, eating everything in its path. I tried to get my mom to open up the sunroof so I could climb out and see it better.” 

“You weren’t scared?” Ben asked, writing notes. Meg had never been scared of a tornado in her life, something her parents accused each other of teaching her. Not even after the incident, she respected them and the damage they could do of course.

Mother Nature was not someone she wanted to mess with but she had always just found the storms to be chaotic, wild, and absolutely thrilling. Being scared of dying was another question, one she hadn’t been asked and wasn’t going to answer. Her wrist started to ache and Meg switched the hand holding her drink.

“You know when you see a lion at the zoo? It’s kind of like that, you know it’s a killing machine and could and would rip you to shreds without breaking a sweat but you also can’t help but admire how majestic and beautiful it is.” 

“God, look at his face,” Lily scoffed, looking at Tyler. Meg glanced his way and found him staring back at her with a look she couldn’t read but one of his friends seemed to understand.

“But you’re a paramedic, not a chaser?” Ben prompted, drawing her attention away from the cowboy.

“That’s right, storms are the love of my life but helping people, that’s what I’m good at. But enough about me, who else has some stories? Laissez les bons temps rouler!” 

“Hell yeah!” Boone tapped his can to hers, “I like you!”

Next Chapter

Taglist: @theforevermorereject @beltzboys2015-blog @writingrose @sinners-98-world @nerdgirljen @candlejuice

Want to join the taglist? Just ask!

[icycoldninja]

Hii I luv your writing and I re read the sometimes j for funzies!! :D

How would the DMC guys react with their partner having anger issues stemming from childhood trauma? They can be working on their temper with the DMC men encouraging hobbies or activities to alleviate stress.

Their childhood could be dysfunctional and now as an adult they have unresolved issues with negative emotions making them frustrated/annoyed/ irritated over small things.

For example the s/o can be minding their own business but one small thing can make them huffy in irritation. They don’t mean to act like that, but it’s like instinct to raise their voice.

Thank you so much! Please enjooooy!

Sparda boys + V x Reader with anger issues headcannons

¤ Dante ¤

-Dante knows what it's like to be angry all the time. Back in his day, he felt the same way, only he hid his anger with jokes and goofiness.

-Helps you calm down whenever you get too riled up, and somehow knows all these different activities to take your mind off things.

-He certainly turns his silliness to the max to cheer you up.

-He understands dysfunctional childhoods like no one else, and makes sure to give you all the comfort, hugs, and cuddles he wished he had when he was in pain.

-He could never get bothered with you, even if you snap at him out of the blue.

-Encourages you to try squeezing stress balls when you start to get upset.

■ Vergil ■

-Vergil is very calm, and retains that cold aloofness even after you blow your top.

-He recommends punching a punching bag to vent your anger.

-Since he has a home gym, access to a punching bag is not that difficult to obtain.

-On rare occasions when you are away from a bag that you can punch, Vergil allows you to punch his palms as hard as you can, since it is unlikely that you would hurt him.

-He's not the best at verbal comfort, but his hugs are warm and strong.

-Will give you food after an outburst because he knows anger makes one hungry, and vice versa.

□ Nero □

-Nero is prone to bursts of rage just like you are.

-Sometimes you get into fights over this very fact.

-Still, Nero knows you are the way you are because you went through some shit, just like he did, and knows not to take anything you do too personally. If only you thought the same.

-Often suggests using exercise to calm down, which results in you guys going for runs or long walks together.

-Will listen if you want to get anything off your chest, but he's not that good at giving advice.

-Remembers that sometimes he wanted hugs when he was angry, so he goes and gives some to you when you're angry. Peak logic.

● V ●

-V is a very calm person, so he handles you with ease.

-A hug from V and a few comforting words are usually all it takes to calm you down, if not completely, then substantially.

-Encouraged you to try making an anger diary, where you write down all the things that make you mad.

-Shadow is surprisingly helpful, too. Who knew petting a fluffy monster would soothe your soul?

-V does get a little hurt by your abrasive comments, but Griffon reminds him you're not you when you're yelling.

-V just tries to be there for you, because while you are very grouchy, you can be sweet and loving, too.

[bringinubackto2014]

How the creepypasta's would be in a relationship.

Jeff The Killer

•He's probably the worst to date tbh. I don't see him as a misunderstood uwu boy, no he's manic. He'd get less assholey the longer you were together though, but in the beginning expect being insulted more than greeted

•He wouldn't be physically affectionate either. Maybe you'll get to hug him once or twice, but for the first year or so if you try to initiate something expect to be pushed away. But maybe once he trusts you (it'll take years) then he'll cuddle you once in a blue moon.

•A goodish thing about dating him instead of the others, he doesn't get jealous, and if he does its only a little bit. He probably wont care too much if you do leave him, but if he grows it love you A LOT he'll just kill whoever tried to take you, simple as that. (just an extra thing I feel like he'd want to give you the mouth scar he has to claim you as his)

overall rating 5/10, it would suck dating but he's hot so ill give him that

Eyeless Jack

•He's really quiet, so don't expect verbal praises or compliments too much. But he's definitely more loving than Jeff. But he probably loves way more easily, it'll take a good 9 months for him to realize that he doesn't ever want to kill or eat you, and that he's found someone he cares for.

•He's super strong and tall, maybe around 8 feet. But he has a sleeper build (idk if that's the right term), this dude looks skinny but he could crush your head with two of his fingers if he wanted to. So he always has to be gentle, he'd be really scared of touching you at first

•Before he found love in being affectionate with you, he would offer you organs (how sweet), to be honest, he'd probably want to propose by giving you a ring stuck in a kidney. (He's a true romantic)

overall rating 7/10 he's great but your gonna have to drive everywhere since he's blind and the smell of human organs get a little gross sometimes

Ticci Toby

•He says that he doesn't trust people at first, that might be true but when he met you. oh God his trauma spilled out so fast. He didn't mean to spill it but it just kinda came out

•Once he found out that he could trust you he loved you with all his heart. He gets really shy but he'll compliment you all the time under his breathe. He wouldn't anitiate hugs/cuddles or anything and it'll take him a while to get comfy with it. But once he does he'll never want to stop holding you

•He has a lot of anxiety attacks and mental breakdowns. Do NOT touch him when thats happening, he can't control himself. So he'll either hide in the woods or sit in Jack's room until he feels better

overall rating 9/10 he's pretty much perfect other than the breakdown things, but he goes on TikTok and I feel like he goes thought depressed vent pages (like the ones made by kids who got yelled at their parents once.) and he quotes them a lot so its kinda annoying

Jane (she's mine guys sorry)

•Kinda like Jack she's very quiet and distant. It takes FORVER to get her to trust you so until then expect one sided convos. Once she does open up she'll express her love verbally, but rarely and she speaks so quiet its hard to hear

•She's a writer, she'll write you love letters, in the beginning she'll hide them, but eventually she'll let you read some. Only some. She'll also write poems as well, she would make a whole book of poems she wrote for you.

•It'll take months for her to take her mask off, she'll need constant reassurance about her face and her scars. If you do her makeup in the style of her mask (gothic kinda) she would marry you. right then and there

overall rating 10/10 nothing is wrong with that perfect woman

[narcissarina]

Darkened Desires

Prologue and Chapter 1: The sun || Chapter 2: The moon || Chapter 3: The moon

Pairings: Mafia!Scaramouche × Barista!Reader

Word count: 1,206

Tw: praise kink, degradation, kidnapping, tourture, dub/non-con, forced breeding, dismembering, gore, deaths, age-gap, corruption, use of force, trauma, use of drugs, stalking, mentions of human trafficking on the near chapters, slowburn.

Warning: This fanfiction may contain kidnapping, torture, dub/non-con, forced breeding, dismembering, age-gap, corruption, vigilante Scaramouche, use of force, trauma, use of drugs, stalking, and more. This fiction will continue grow darker as chapters goes by.

Your mental health matters.

CHAPTER 4:

THE SUN

My mind plays back to the other day, the man with purple hair approaches me and tip me a 100$ with me giving a minimal effort, I didn’t even do anything and what I did isn’t something special, right?

Every now and then I would feel my stomach dropping, like my guts is telling me something but I couldn’t pin point that assumption, is he a dangerous person? I thought to myself, my head full of question and my mind swirling to one point to another.

It makes my head hurt and I want to bang my head against a hard table or wall.

“The fuck are you doing?” I flinched as I got startled from Estrella’s sudden presence—snatching my thoughts away and give my full attention to her, I play out a smile and clasp my hand together, “nothing.” I assured, but she knows that there’s more to it when I’m getting a little twitchy all of a sudden.

“Don’t lie, I know there is something bothering you.” Her soft voice hints deep concern, I sigh and wrap my arm in my head, taking a deep groan and sigh.

I couldn’t escape her, nor could I lie to her. She’s my friend and I love her with all my life. I bit my lips in a thin line and deeply inhale and exhale, “remember those guys in the black expensive tux the other day?”

She nodded, “uh-huh, what about them?”

“They just give me this icky feeling, I don’t know.” I wave my hand and pinch my own cheek, face on the table as I lightly tap my forehead against the harden wood of the table. I wish I could bang my head here as hard and loud as possible, but that would be making me a fool out of myself.

“What kind of feeling?”

“Like, a feeling where you felt like you put yourself in danger type a feeling.”

Estrella nodded, legs crossed and her drink in hand—taking a sip and look at me. Before she could speak, another voice was heard beside us, “Hi!” it was cheerful and full of life, I turn my head and see another one of my friends. I turn up and smiled, standing from my seat and gave her a big warm hug.

“Oh my god, hi to you too!” I greeted her, my hands behind her back as we embrace on a tender hug, “it’s been a while.” She said and sat beside Estrella, “your arrival is the most unexpected too, Vhinella Azmy.”

Vhinella Azmy.

I haven’t heard of her for a long time, it brought a smile to my face when I knew that she’s finally free of her schedule, “well, you know me.” Vhinella spoke in a teasing tone, “schedules been packing and work is a little.” She motion a circle mid-air and made an ick expression, telling how she feels about her work and schedule.

“I heard you guys talking about something, so..” Vhinella starts, legs crossed and shift in her seat at her right, “what happened?” she finally asked, I groan and slam my head yet again on the hard wooden table, causing my friends drink jump a little.

Estrella took a sip and sigh, filling Vhinella in on what happened on the other day and how I felt like someone is watching me, even in my own home. Vhinella had a straight serious face as she listen and process all what Estrella told her.

Silence was loud as Estrella filled her up with the story, their attention and gaze shifted to me. I don’t even want to look at them, I’m at my lowest. If they think they see me, no they don’t. I’m invisible.

Vhinella offered us a ride and go on shopping with her, she says that it’s “her treat” and that she’ll be spoiling us today, she’s a great friend really. Trying to lift up my spirit and gossiping with Estrella, trying to impress me on who has the most juiciest tea to spill.

We went to arcades, shopping malls, pick clothes and buy some little plushies, and before we knew it, it was already 7:45 pm. Estrella excused herself first, grab a cab and went home, Vhinella offered me a ride on my way home but I want to decline, instead—she’ll drop me off somewhere so that I could get some nightly walk.

I got off the car and goes to her car window, she rolled her window down and smiled at me—reaching out to pinch my cheek and gave it a little slap, “be careful, ok?” she hums, her voice deep with concern. I smiled and boop her nose, feeling a little playful.

“I will, don’t worry.” I assured her as she drove away, I watch her car fade away far, far away. My surroundings seem a little empty, but it was common in this neighborhood since it’s now nighttime, fewer cars and people.

This is part is what I love most here, nighttime.

The night is peaceful here, gives me a peace of mind. It oddly relaxes me even though I know that I might get in danger, but I didn’t care. I just want one last walk before going home. Where I live in a butt-fuck nowhere surrounded by trees.

While I was busy humming to myself, I come across an alleyway, it was dark and eerie. I see two silhouettes, one is on the ground and one is standing before that person. Light’s flicker and I saw a good glimpse of two people, to see what they look like. I breath hitches and hit in the corner.

The man from the other day, that was him—standing before a blooded and unmoved man before him,

God damn I knew he screams danger.

Shit, I don’t know what to do. Fuck, fuck, fuck. I should’ve taken Vhinella up to her offer, I’m screwed and fucked.

His head snapped, he felt my presence as I quickly and quietly slam my back against the wall. I stood still for a good few seconds before looking back again, he isn’t there… and so is the dead body.

I am fucked.

A hand reached out behind me, covering my mouth.

I struggled, he pressed me against the cold wall, his front pressing my back, I struggle from his grasp. I wanna scream, cry and fight but no avail. I’m not built like that, I beg him inside my mind—thousand thoughts swirl in my head at the same time. Tears dropping from my cheeks, but he spoke.

“Shh… Atta girl,” his lips almost touching my ear, “should’ve kept walking, tsk.” He said, then I felt him inject something on the crook of my neck while telling degrading praises in my ear.

“be good.”

“stop resisting, or I’ll do worst.”

“Pretty girl, there, there.”

Last words I heard from him as my mind went blank, my head felt heavy and fuzzy and my eyes closing. I tried fighting it off but the urge was too strong to fight off.

“You knew that it should not have come to this.” He said, grinning before carrying me in his arm before fully closing my eyes shut.

I blacked out.

Link:

Chapter 5: THE SUN

[d3sertdream3r]

I’ve noticed a lot of rancid takes about Taliesin’s characters that are annoying me, so I’m going to rant for a minute. 

Tal has perfected the art of creating paradoxical characters, and I think a lot of people end up getting lost and confused in the layers. This is not a “if you don't get it, you’re dumb” type of thing. It’s just that I wish people would truly ponder his characters and why they’re the way they are because they’re not the stereotypical protagonists that North American entertainment focuses on. They’re not strictly kind and generous, intelligent and charming, or hateful and arrogant. They’re all of the above. 

A lot of western media features characters that are fairly cut and dry and easy to understand. There isn’t a ton of complexity happening, and from what I’ve seen, the majority of the people hating on his characters and role-play style are from areas where they aren't used to Tal’s type of character. They’re not used to characters having multiple characteristics that seem to contradict each other all at once (even though that’s how people are in real life). I’m guessing that’s part of why they don't like them, but who knows. 

Caduceus is the least paradoxical of his characters, which is why I think most people say he’s their favorite of Tal’s characters. He is the personification of a fluffy blanket and a warm hug. What’s not to love?? Percy, Molly/Kingsley, and Ashton on the other hand, are all much rougher around the edges. The point of them is to provide the opposite of comfort for the audience; they're meant to make people a little uncomfortable. They hold up a mirror to the audience and force us to look at the parts of humanity that we try to avoid. Not the pure evil of mankind that Matt’s villains often show, but something even more sad and hard to swallow. 

Audiences tend to like characters that deal with trauma through humor and/or charm. People benefit from these types of characters by laughing at them or lusting over them. There’s nothing wrong with this by any means; that’s all part of the fun of fandom! However, characters that deal with their trauma in ways that are more raw and painful tend to be disliked. 

Percy is filled with constant fear that his past will haunt his future. He is convinced that wherever he goes, the darkness will follow and the pain awaits. He has horrible nightmares and lives with incessant paranoia, yet faces the deadliest monsters, demons, gods, etc with nothing but his wit and a gun. He can't stop inventing, not just to glorify himself but to protect everyone. He’s so many things at once, which is what makes him so real and complex and fascinating. 

Molly/Kingsley’s story is about wondering who you truly are and not meeting expectations of those you care about. Imagine that you’re not the only one comparing yourself to someone else; all your friends are too. You’re trying to figure out what defines you while feeling like everyone you know wants you to be someone else. His story is also filled with questions about nihilism and whether or not anything truly matters, including identity. 

Ashton represents the endless loneliness of abandonment and feeling like no matter what you do, those you love will never care about you as much as you care about them. He pushes people away and acts like he doesn’t have a care in the world while simultaneously doing everything he can to grip onto his friends. He is jealous of Laudna for the way she died because it showed how loved she was, and how sick is that? To be jealous of someone’s death? To try and force someone to admit that they haven’t gotten over their issues because you can’t accept that it’s possible to overcome yours? What's wrong with you? If it’s possible for people to do that, why can't you? What’s wrong with you? Why is it so hard for you when it seems so easy for others? What’s wrong with you? They represent not just the physical, but the emotional chronic pain that most people don’t have to think about every day. 

I have so much more to say about these amazing characters, but that would take an entire novel. They emotionally bleed all over the place. While they can still be lighthearted and humorous at times, they’re often really messy in various ways. But that doesn’t stop them from being so loving and wonderful at the same time! 

TL;DR, Taliesin’s characters are incredible and I’m so grateful that he is willing to play them in such a raw and real way for those of us that aren’t always funny or charming enough about our trauma to make society like us. 

[dzvelinaskebiyars]

You have other requests and I understand, but, first of all, lemme give you a hug ໒꒰ྀི´ ˘ ` ꒱ྀིა

Second of all, since my birthday is today...So uh, Kazutora with an s/o who is stoic, has eyebags, is poor, is a year older than him (also goes to a different school and is part of another gang, a high command(?) )

S/O was also sexually abused (if this part makes you uncomfortable you can skip it)

S/O also ended up in jail, 10 years, just like Kazutora himself (its just Kazutora went first and a month later, s/o did)

S/O is someone blunt, has a grounded self despite her issues, she knows how to keep things in order ~s/o is often saving Kazutora from killing himself from doing stupidities~

(If you need height, s/o is 1.50 and if you add adult timeline headcannons, you can tell they already have established relationship)

First of all, happy birthday!! Secondly, thank you so much for requesting! Thirdly, HUGG<3

A newly formed gang, Valhala, definitely would need a support from other gang before they would pull themselves up. So Valhala and your gang formed a deal and that's when you met Kazutora Hanemiya.

When he first looked at you, he immediately thought that you weren't mentally stable. Eyebags, bit skinny, poor hygiene and etc.

Because of the deal, you both had to get closer but I guess it turned into more than a deal.

Kazutora became part of your daily routine and a person you trusted the most. He became someone you relied on and before you knew it, this turned into romantic feelings.

Kazutora would always walk you to home, school, shops and literally anywhere you were going to.

He was always jealous type tho. He disliked every single one of your guy friends and always would whisk you away from them.

Kazutora offered to burn cars for your birthday, he has never gotten more "wtf is wrong with you" look from you before. Then he explained that's what he did for his 11th birthday.

Whereas you enjoy breaking people's bones more, Kazutora enjoys peeling people's nails off.

Kazutora would call you "pretty" "beautiful" "gorgeous" as petnames not gonna lie.

The relationship between you two tho...Let's say it's the true definition of toxic relationship. Since both of you are unstable, it's just very hard to offer each other comfort. The lack of communication also messes it up, and Kazutora's trust issues and fear of abandonment doesn't help either.

You aren't comfortable with intimacy at all because of the past experiences and trauma. Kazutora is pretty understanding about that. Not like he wants intimacy that early as well.

But when he found out the bigger reason of why you hated intimacy so much, he found your r*pist's address, peeled his nails off, broke his bones and beat him up to death. He came to your house with biggest and proudest smile.

___

Kazutora: What about this. I'll take you to camping for a date. Us sharing fun stories while the fire provides warmth for us.

You: What about you to burn me instead and provide yourself with warmth?

Kazutora: Your kinks are getting out of hand,gorgeous...

___

You two pretty much served so much cunt that you ended up in jail for 10 years...Now that's where you really had to stop Kazutora from ending his own life.

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

I'm sorry if it's not to your liking! I'm writing this while walking in the forest w my family so, this seriously might not be good😭

Happy birthday, again!

[stackofpossums]

Could I get a Hc for how the M6 would react to finding out Mc's past is worse than they thought? Like finding the shop is the point their life goes from awful to okay to eventually great. Before then? You can leave it as vague as you'd like.

(I have an Mc who was an executioner/pet similar but different from Muriels executioner/gladiator role being Their scars are from the person in charge and all their opponents were never given a chance. Another Mc who tried to live up to others expectations for him. Eventually forced to leave his home or die at 10 because his sister tried to murder him for a power he didn't even want. My third Mc who had abusive parents and learned from a passing by sparrow that they need to run away to save themselves.

What if before the shop Mc's life was actually horrible? So like to the point they never told anyone, not even Asra. Only telling stories about after they had moved to the shop to live with their aunt.)

I just finished a big assignment so Mc who has a dark past let's go:

Asra: He already knew MC past was dark and was kind of glad they didn't have to remember that when they lost their memories. Then they got their memory back. And oh. OH. He never knew it was this bad. At first, he's a little upset that MC never felt safe enough to confide in him. He quickly realizes, "No, it wasn't him." He's grateful MC chose to confide in him now, and he's going to do everything in his power to support them. He'll hold them and comfort them while they talk if MC is comfortable with that. The salamander has already lit the stove so he can brew some calming tea. Therapy has been scheduled. He is fully committed to helping MC heal as much as possible, mostly out of love, but there's a tiny part of him that feels guilty for not knowing sooner.

Julian: He thought he had it bad. He didn't know it could be this bad. He may be a doctor, but... for quite possibly the first time in his life, he knows he isn't qualified to fix this. He's gonna set MC up with the best mental health care. Until then, he's going to attempt to theraptize them himself. He encourages MC to talk not only about their past but also about how it made them feel, how they're feeling now, what challenges they are having, and anything and everything else they want to share. He's going to respond with hella words of affirmation, making sure MC knows how much he cares about them and that their safe now.

Nadia: Patiently listens to MC's story, no matter how gruesome the details are. She'll hold them tightly when it becomes too much for them to bear. There are no words to describe the hurt she feels for them to her very core. Afterward, she is setting them up with the best mental health support money can buy. Only the best therapists, medications, if MC wants to try them, or anything else. Anything MC thinks will help them is theirs. No expense is too great for her beloved MC. She's pretty venengeful, though. It'll be tough to convince her not to make the lives of anyone who's made MC suffer hell. She'll relent eventually, though, because she's knows if MC doesn't want that, it won't be helpful.

Muriel: Out everyone here, he understands it the most. It's a little hard for him to listen sometimes because he remembers times in his life where he felt just as hopeless as MC. He's here for MC, though, and makes it his mission to make sure MC NEVER feels that way again. He shares the techniques he's found for dealing with trauma, as well as helps MC find what works for them. He pushes them to keep going when he notices they are struggling. He comforts them when it's too much. He celebrates with them for every challenge they overcome, no matter how "small." It's the least he can do for them after everything they've done for him.

Portia: When MC first opens up about their past, their a bit afraid they're going to get squeezed to death by Portia's hugs. She's the other LI mostly likey to try to go after the people's who hurt her precious MC, she solves problems with fists flying. But that's okay. She's sneaky. She's going to make sure anyone who hurt MC wakes up to a fun surprise. Other than that, MC can always count on Portia for a listening ear. She will comfort MC through any story they need to tell and wants to help them find closure however she can.

Lucio: Oh. Oh no. No one gets to hurt his MC. No one. Who shall he defeat in battle for you? That won't help? Oh... well... what can he do? Lucio would do ANYTHING to make things better for MC. Just say the word. Hugs, he's here. No hugs? That's fine, too. He's here to listen. He knows a thing or two about unpleasant pasts. But you have each other now. MC has had his back despite everything he's done. It would be criminal not to do the same.

[moody-alcoholic]

Alternative ending.

So I finished my fic (READ IT HERE) but I actually did plan an alternative ending very early on then scrapped it.

Since the fic is over I present to you.. 'I cried while writing this the first time: alternate ending'

CW: Heavy spoilers for the fan fic. Death, dying, death of 141 member, ungodly amounts of angst, first draft dribbles (I did not edit this).

1.5k words.

Context: Gaz was shot in the field and transported to hospital 141 are waiting for him to come out of surgery.

When the doctor comes out we all stand up. He takes his scrub cap off. I look in the room they’re wheeling him in. So he’s alive.

“We managed to repair the damage to his lung which helped us stabilise him, then we realised he was in DIC, his lung and spleen suffered massive damage which caused him haemorrhage into his abdomen we tried to repair it but unfortunately he took a turn for the worst and coded again…” I looked back at him.

“What about…” I didn’t want to say it. “Is he going to be okay?”

“We won’t know for sure for a few hours. We’ll keep him on the vent run tests. Best case scenario he wakes up. Worst case there is no brain activity.”

“What’s DIC?” Price asked.

“Its rare but after major trauma like a gunshot the body can use up all it’s clotting abilities in the blood. Once we were able to repair the pneumothorax.. Sorry, the collapsed lung he stabilised….”

“It was my first ever field chest tube, I’ve only ever been taught to do them in a controlled environment.” I said quietly watching the nurses hook up all Gaz’s monitors.

“When will we know more?” Price asked.

“I will send the nuro consultant by a few hours maybe…”

He trailed off. I went into the room closing the door behind me. I went over to the bed and picked his hand up. I slumped down in the chair by his bed. I was exhausted I squeezed his hand watching the monitors give out baseline readings.

“I’m so sorry Gaz.” I say, I let the tears come I’m so overwhelmed I just want him to wake up. I hold his hand stroking his arm. I hear the door open behind me. I put my head down on the bed hugging his arm. I sob feeling Ghost’s hand rub my back. I feel my nose get blocked as I cry into his hand. I apologise over and over again. Ghost and Price stay, eventually I tire myself out and feel like I can face them again. Ghost is sat next to me, he offers me some water but I refuse. Price takes the sofa at the end of the room and eventually falls asleep putting his hat on his face. I stay awake going over in my head over and over everything I did wrong. I feel sick dizzy watching the monitors give out readings. Every time the door opens I jump. Price moves his hat and when he sees it’s just a nurse goes back to sleep. When the nuro consultant comes in I feel numb.

“I am very sorry we cannot detect any brain activity…” I stop listening snatching the chart out his hands turning away. I don’t know anything about these readings. I just needed to see it. I look at Gaz in bed tubes sticking out his mouth, pumps keeping his heart beating, hes not there any more though. I look back at the chart. I drop the clipboard throwing myself into Ghost’s arms. I hear his heartbeat in my ears I grip him as hard as I can. I feel sick. I lost him I actually lost him. I have no tears left to cry. I’m exhausted. He’s gone. Gaz is gone.

I felt a hand on my shoulder. It woke me from my restless sleep. It was Price.

“I can take watch.” He said.

“I’m okay I want to be here.” He pulls up a chair.

“Has their been any change?” I shake my head and pass Price an envelope.

“He named you to make medical decisions for him, that’s the letter.” I watched as Price opened the letter then looked away. There were a few moments before he spoke again.

“Is there anything more we can do?” he asked. I sighed this was always the worst part.

“His latest scans still show no brain activity, I’m sorry captain.” I looked a Gaz if you were to take away all the tubes it would just look like he was sleeping.

“Brain dead?” Price asked. I nodded looking at him, his eyes were heavy.

“He’s an organ donor, he’ll still save lives even after he is gone.” I say I knew it was little comfort but I thought maybe it would help.

“I’ve lost two brothers in 2 years.” Price sniffed. I put my hand on his shoulder.

“This is it now Noah is in prison Makarov is dead.”

“Terror never stops, a new leader picks up the gauntlet, we never stop fighting.” I let him have a moment not quite knowing what to say.

“Could you do it?” Price asked, “Turn off the machines, declare him dead.” I nod.

“Tonight then.” He says getting up. “I’ll let Ghost know.” I waited until he left the room before turning back to Gaz.

“Ready?” I ask Ghost standing next to me and Price on the other side of the bed. I hold a glass of scotch, Price insisted we all drink, for Gaz. Price nodded I handed my drink to Ghost and began turning off machines. I moved one of the monitors so only I could see it and silenced it. The last thing I did was disconnect the breathing tube, and take it out his mouth, laying it beside him. I took my drink from Ghost and leaned against him. I made sure we would be alone for this no one was to come in. He wrapped his arm round my waist.

“I always thought Gaz would be the last to go.” Ghost said “He should have been he was a better person then us all.” I looked at him his expression is sad. I watched Gaz’s breathing slow.

“He was a great soldier an amazing friend, I love the way he made me laugh.” I say holding my glass up. Price went up to the bed and looked at Gaz.

“Sergeant Garrick was a hero, he did this job not just for himself but his family too. He always had our backs he was an asset to 141. He was the glue that held this team together.” He looked around the room and held his glass up.

“Gaz.. Tell Johnny we’re sorry.” The Price finishes his drink. I do the same. Ghost takes the bottom of his mask of and drinks. I look at the monitor. Flatline. I have time I think I hold Ghost tight his arm squeezes my waist. We just stand in silence for a few minutes.

“How will we know?” Ghost asks. I pull away from him and take my stethoscope to my ears. I pause for a moment. I hate doing this. I listened to his chest both sides then felt for a pulse on his wrist and neck. Nothing he was gone.

“He’s gone.” I say wrapping the stethoscope round my neck I looked at my watch so I could write down time of death later. Ghost’s arms find me and he pulls me towards him. We stay in silence all saying our own private farewells. I hoped there was a heaven, I hope John is waiting for him. I lean into Ghost closing my eyes.

‘I’m so sorry Gaz’

Scotland

1 week later

I bought a tray of salad out to Simon who was sat at the table talking with Price who had insisted on grilling. I sat down next to Simon and took a beer, I smiled and kissed him. It was dull but we didn't care I had planted sunflowers next to the forget-me-nots. I didn't know if they would survive in the harsh Sottish highlands but they reminded me of Gaz. Price turns for a second and I see the grill filled with meat.

“How much are you making?” I ask in shock.

“Well it should keep you going for a while.” He says flipping a burger.

“What months?” I ask jokingly. Simon laughs too. Its nice to see him come out his shell more. He does not wear the mask around the house anymore, we decided to make the house our home. No safe house just safe for us. I cant help but love him more the more I spend time with him.

“What?” He asks taking another sip of beer. I smile and kiss him.

“What are you going to do now?” I ask Price taking a sip.

“Laswell as some work for me in America, while we wait to see what happens with Noah’s syndicate, see who comes out of hiding.” He explains. .

“What about you two.” He asks I look at Simon.

“Got house renovations to do, maybe take a vacation.” I say, looking at him smiling.

"Just waiting for your call Captain.” Simon says, I cheers to that. This was nice I lean into Simon him placing his arm around me. I hear the door bell ring, I get up to answer it.

“Food is almost ready!” Price says as I walk away.

“I’m sure there will be some left.” I say heading to the door. I wasn't expecting anyone. I opened the door and looked in horror.

“Hello Williams.” Noah said.

END

I know that when someone is an organ donor they have to stay on a vent.. this was a first draft

[caffeinated-beverage]

CanLiet please ^^

Sleep headcanon, sad headcanon, happy headcanon, sex headcanon, bedroom/house/living quarters headcanon, romantic headcanon, family headcanon, friendship headcanon and quirks/hobbies headcanon

☾ - sleep headcanon: As you know, Ąžuolas is prone to trauma-induced nightmares & night terrors, and waking up in the middle of the night in a panic. Matthew tries to console them when he notices they're having a nightmare by speaking to them calmly, but not waking them. He has also noticed the time he usually has his night terrors, and tries to wake him up shortly before that time. And when Ąžuolas wakes up panicked from his trauma nightmare, he tries to console him by speaking to him calmly and trying to get him to do square breathing. And once he calms down enough, he might get him some coffee (caffeine doesn't give Ąžuolas energy, it just makes them calm LOL (theyll still be able to sleep afterwards)) & cuddles, until he goes back to sleep.

★ - sad headcanon: When Ąžuolas is sad, Matthew makes them their favorite hot chocolate: extra thicc, with no toppings. Basically just liquid chocolate. And then he cuddles with him. And when Matthew is sad, Ąžuolas makes brownies and watches anime with him.

☆ - happy headcanon: An example of a time they were both happy, was this one day when Ąžuolas was spending time at Matthew's house in winter, and it was very very snowy outside. And, while they were both out in the snow (along with Ąžuolas’ pet wolf, Pupa), Ąžuolas sneakily balled up a snowball, and chucked it at Matthew, hitting him riGHT IN THE BACK OF THE HEAD (don't worry, there were no rocks, and it really didn't hurt LOL). And so, Matthew turned around with a smile on his face and said, “Oh, so it's like that then??”. Ąžuolas ran away from Matthew, laughing their ass off as he bombarded them with snowballs, and Pupa barked and tried to catch & eat the snowballs Matthew was chucking at them. Their snowball fight here lasted a loooong long time, until Matthew said “okay, okay, enough, I'm getting chilled now” and headed inside, Ąžuolas following him indoors to chill for the rest of the day. And ofc, Pupa insisted on staying out in the snow for the rest of the day, but they eventually got her to come inside when it became night.

✿ - Sex headcanon: (TW NSFW) Ąžuolas is a bottom, and Matthew is a switch. 

■ -  Bedroom/house/living quarters headcanon: Matthew was very open to letting Pupa (Ąžuolas’ pet wolf, remember?) snuggle on the bed with them at night & sleep there with them. Spoiled dog xD Matthew even agrees to let Pupa sit/lie down on the couch, chairs, etc., despite how massive she is, because she's just such a cute & sweet girl, and deserves to be spoiled like that lol 

Pupa spends a lot of time curled up in front of the fireplace tho

♡ - romantic headcanon: They both prefer to have a comfortable date at home, both of them in their pajamas, and watching a movie together on the couch; just Ąžuolas, Matthew, and Pupa. They do also go out for dates, sometimes; usually a casual one, though. Like, for example, spending time at the park, feeding bread to ducks, going for a swim together, going to the movie theatre, etc.

♥ - family headcanon: While Ąžuolas DOES want kids, Ąžuolas isn't ready to bring that up yet, and Matthew isn't ready to have kids yet, either. So, for now, they just have Pupa ^_^

☮ - friendship headcanon: Back when they were just friends, they both were crushing on each other soooo hard for a while, before Ąžuolas gathered the courage to confess to him. Ąžuolas nearly VOMITED from nervousness & was sweating like a pig, but Matthew gave him a big hug & confessed to him that he felt the same. Ąžuolas cried all over his shirt for a while, and they soon scheduled when & where their first date should be.

♦ - quirks/hobbies headcanon: Matthew's main hobbies are cooking, baking, and gardening. Ąžuolas’ main hobbies are cooking/baking, herbology, & mycology. Also, I'm sure you know this since I am p sure I have mentioned it a few times, but Ąžuolas is autistic. Ąžuolas’ special interests/hyperfixations are herbology, mycology, & basketball. He doesn't play professional basketball tho, but he likes to play hobby basketball sometimes, and loves to watch basketball on tv, and play basketball video games, which he's got a collection of rn! 

My headcanon for my Canada is that he is neurotypical btw, but he is still very understanding & supportive of Ąžuolas! Esp because Matthew is a licensed therapist himself, and imo, a licensed therapist SHOULD KNOW these things 😤

[sehtoast]

The Blanket (Homelander x OC)

800 words | depowered homelander, memories of trauma, angst, hurt/comfort, nightmare mentions, crying bed snuggles | Fic Directory

“What the fuck is that?” 

He stands there, stock still and shocked, staring at the bagged bundle of fabric being held out to him. Homelander knows exactly what it is. But he can't… he can't believe it. 

“Where the fuck did you get that?” He grits. Why would Ben do this? Why? Why remind him? 

“It was in the prop archives. I thought you might want it…” Benjamin's excited demeanor fades and he pulls the bag a little closer to himself. This isn't the first time he's smuggled pieces of Homelander-y memorabilia home, but he's never gotten a reaction like this before. “I can put it ba–” 

Homelander all but swipes it out of his hands. “D'you have any idea– do you even know where this came from?” He hisses. Touching it barehanded was so much worse. 

It made it real. It always makes it real. 

He doesn't bother looking up at Benjamin shaking his head. Of course he wouldn't know. John grips the blue blanket in his hands as hard as he can. So familiar and so fucking painful… 

“Was mine in the lab,” he mumbles unwillingly. Didn't even want to say it, but he knew he should.. He can practically hear Ben's regret settle in. 

“Shit, Johnny, I–” Ben begins, but Homelander cuts him off. 

“It was supposed to have been thrown out years ago… Those fuckwits kept it!” He shakes it in his hand with a fury. He drags the other through his shaggy dark hair to self-soothe, but it does nothing for him. Homelander chucks the blanket onto the couch bitterly and storms back to the bedroom, kicking the door shut behind him to leave Benjamin, regretful and saddened, to think about what he did. 

The bug gives him time before daring to follow. The door creaks a bit, but the lump under the mountain of blankets barely moves. 

This is how he runs away these days. Once upon a time, he'd simply propel himself into the sky and fly anywhere else. He can't do that anymore, though, so he hides. Goes to the place he feels safest. 

The muffled sniffle doesn't escape Ben's notice as he crawls in beside him, slipping under the blankets and pulling them over his own head, too. 

He slings an arm under John's and rests his hand on the opposite shoulder, pulling him flush against his chest. Homelander clings to his arm, anchoring himself as he suppresses his cries. 

“I'm so, so sorry, pumpkin…” Ben coos. He plants a kiss to the nape of Homelander's neck. 

“All that bullshit– all that fucking bullshit, and what was it even for?” John whispers tightly. “Least when I was me, it was worth something…”

Ben doesn't know what to say. Maybe, though, that was best. Maybe the only thing Benjamin needed to do was hold him close and be there. 

He hugs him tight. Lets him sniffle and cry and let it all out. So many times now, John has told him that he’s reconciled with his childhood. So many times, Homelander has sworn up and down that he's accepted it and it doesn't bother him anymore. The cruel reality, though, was that there would always be times when it bites him anyway. Flashes of memories, itches on his skin that remind him of shattered scalpels and diamond-tipped syringes. Tight spaces that reawakened the little boy locked in a box. 

That trauma would always be part of him. He's grown around it, but it catches up every so often. 

Eventually, he turns and hides his face against Ben's chest. He pushes the blankets down from over their faces and breathes a deep breath of cool air. He feels tired. 

He always feels tired after times like these. His body exhausts so easily now. Ben's fingers dance through his hair and his eyelids feel so heavy. 

He's afraid to fall asleep. Scared he'll dream of the bad room again. He touched a part of it today; he's bound to end up back in there. If not now, then later. If not later, then tomorrow. 

“I've got you.” Ben promises. 

Was it that obvious? Would it always be?

He threads a leg between Ben's and pulls one closer to squeeze. Another point of contact. Another anchor. 

“Stay..?” He asks softly. He knows the answer– he knows Ben– but he's been denied so many times in his life that he still feels the need to ask anyway. 

“Of course, pumpkin.” Ben murmurs sweetly. “I'll wake you up if you get fussy, okay?” 

Relief.

Even if he ends up in there, even if it gets bad, Ben will be there.

His little spider will be there. 

[slide-of-peace]

Hello I hope you are have good day and if alright

I saw in your villain blog about a child who have a Batman backstory

And it gutted me 🥲 so much and I was wondering how the other hero’s reaction to tha, any hero will do

The heroes end up Adopt the Traumatized child

And now the child have fear of guns

Maybe a little bit of salt to wounds , how about the child looking exactly like child version Bruce , as in a spitting image of him ,

Damn you just wanna get hurt. Okay lol. I'm tempted to just do Batfamily but I'll try doing it with other heroes, too. Also, I'm not sure about adopting the kid, but they will have a close relationship.

Batman

Oh, so you wanna for him to relive his trauma?

The moment he sees it memories hit him and he freezes. It's like he sees the moment from Gordon's eyes.

But he gets himself together when he sees the kid. He needs to make sure they're okay.

Slowly hushes them and takes them away from the scene as he brings them to Gotdon.

Will visit them as Bruce for a talk so the kid knows he's not alone. Him adopting another traumatized kid doesn't suprises anyone, especially since the scene was too similar to his own.

Holds their hand when they're scared of gun in the movie. He understands them. Doesn't pushes until they want to get help with it.

Alfred

It's like a punch.

He only saw Bruce when he was at police station, so seeing how the crime scene looked before police got there was heart-wrenching.

And the kid. It's like seeing young Bruce again. He needs to get them out or he's gonna have heart attack.

Has hard time letting kid go at police station. He doesn't want them to be afraid. And doesn't want to ask Bruce to check on them, worried it'll open old wounds.

Once Bruce finds out, however, he wants to talk to the kid. He sees how Alfred takes care of them like he did with him. So he proposed to Alfred that he should adopt them since he's so worried.

Thinks he's too old but he does it eventually. Now he has little helper around the house.

Already hide his gun from Bruce so does the same for kid.

Flash

Just stops in his tracks.

He heard the cries and immediately runs towards just for it to shock him.

He want to take a kid away away but he knows it would just give them a shock, so he slowly comes closer.

Calmy talks to them, saying he will take them in a safe space.

Get kid to the nearest police station, telling officers what happened.

Changes his costume and goes to crime scene to do his job. Can't forget about the kid so he goes to meet them afterwards.

Superman

Kid doesn't want to talk so he tells them about how he found his mother and it seems to earn kid trust.

Sees how they turn eyes away from police guns so just tells them to not walk around kid with them.

Kid and him become pen pals, making them little less lonely.

He blames himself. How could he just hear it now? Why didn't he hear the man threatening them?

At the moment all he cares is to take care of a kid.

He hugs them taking them away. Kid doesn't want to be left so he doesn't argue.

Just talks to police to go to crime scene. Once therapist comes to talk to the kid they sit on his lap as he assures them.

When the kid almost cries when talking about gun he tells them not to worry. He can stop the bullet.

He visits the kid sometimes just to talk and check how they're doing.

[blinkaftermidnight]

Leatin Falling Apart idk

Read on AO3.

Nothing happens on the island, but after the island, it kind of just makes sense that Leah and Fatin end up together. They’re all they have back home – well, as far as understanding, like, the insane amount of island-related trauma goes – so they text a lot and hang out a lot, and it doesn’t come as a total shock when Fatin kisses Leah out of nowhere (in the parking lot of the movie theater after they wasted two hours and over twenty bucks). But maybe it’s a bit of a shock when, after Fatin pulls back and quickly apologizes, Leah kisses her, too.

And they work. Everything goes smoothly, even when they return to school for their senior year, even when Fatin’s parents cut her off financially, even when Leah’s mental health steadily deteriorates as the trial inches closer and closer. They still work (as a couple, obviously, but also as, like, each other’s person or whatever) during the trial, which begins shortly after they graduate. They’re still going strong when Dot and Shelby arrive in Los Angeles. Everything is still fine when Dot teases Fatin over getting soft, and when Shelby quietly tells Leah that she’s so proud of all the progress she’s made.

And Leah doesn’t remember when she and Shelby became kind-of friends, but it was probably around the same time she and Rachel became kind-of friends. When Rachel arrives in Los Angeles – knowing that Leah and Fatin are together because of social media and because Leah texted it to her, like, almost right away – she immediately rolls her eyes at Leah – then hugs her – then says, “You could’ve had anyone and you chose Fatin?”

“I chose Leah, actually,” Fatin pipes up. “She just happened to choose me back.”

Leah rolls her eyes but can’t argue with that, and when she and Fatin grin at each other, Rachel shakes her head. (But when Fatin isn’t looking, Rachel smiles at Leah.)

Nora flies in separately, and though she stays in the same hotel in Los Angeles as everyone else, she books a room on a different floor. Dot accuses Rachel of telling Nora she couldn’t stay near them, but Rachel denies it, and Leah might be the only one who truly believes her.

Toni and Martha fly in a day later – the day before they’re set to start testifying – and they’re all there to witness Toni and Shelby’s awkward airport reunion. Like, Toni and Shelby hug, but even Leah and Rachel had a more intimate moment in the airport the day before, and there’s nothing but friendship between them, so it’s weird to see Toni and Shelby be so…distant. And after a few moments in the embrace, Toni clears her throat and steps back, jamming her hands into her pockets.

As Martha goes around to hug everyone, she admits to Fatin (but Leah overhears it), “I never would’ve guessed that you and Leah would get together, but I’m so happy for you.”

“Girl, if you’re worried that I’m not gonna help you find a man because I’m shacking up with a woman, then you’re –”

“No! I’m just – really surprised and really happy for you.”

Fatin waves her off, says, “We’re going out tonight before this shit show begins, and we’re gonna get you a man. You’re gonna be glowing more than usual in court tomorrow.”

Martha’s eyebrows raise, and Leah gives herself permission to keep eavesdropping, because Toni and Shelby are still being unbearably awkward, and Dot’s trying to, like, help things along, and it’s hard to watch.

“You’re going to take me…to find a man…but you’re with Leah?” Martha questions.

Fatin scoffs. “Leah knows I won’t stray.”

And Leah does know that. That doesn’t mean she’s thrilled about the idea of Fatin taking Martha clubbing – but at least Rachel and Dot make it known that they’re totally in, and Leah doesn’t feel compelled to go, even before Fatin whispers to her, while they’re heading back to the hotel with Toni and Martha in tow, “You don’t have to come with us, if you don’t want to. And if you really don’t want me to go, I’ll just tell Martha –”

“It’s fine,” Leah whispers back, because Martha’s sitting directly behind them, giggling with Shelby. “Go have fun. Just remember we have to leave bright and early tomorrow.”

And Fatin grins and presses her lips to Leah’s jaw and intertwines her fingers with Leah’s, and Rachel groans exaggeratedly and says, “Don’t do that gay shit when you’re sitting next to me!” and Leah feels herself relax as everyone busts out laughing. When the laughter dies down, Rachel assures them she’s just joking. (Even though they already know it’s just a joke, but the fact that Rachel felt the need to remind them that she’s messing around is something new.)

And everything is still fine – better than fine, still good – that day before the trial. Leah watches Fatin struggle to choose an appropriate outfit from her three (three) suitcases, and she humors Fatin and chooses her favorite out of literally ten different options. And Leah starts to think maybe she should just suck it up and go with them if Fatin’s going to put actual effort into her outfit and hair and makeup (and Leah knows that Fatin does it for herself and not for anyone else, but it still nags at her, just a little bit). But Fatin reminds Leah that she’ll be back before one, and Fatin doesn’t get changed immediately. She strips down and joins Leah on the bed and tells her she needs to be quiet if she doesn’t want Dot and Rachel to hear them through the wall.

So everything is okay. Fatin gets back to the room at 12:57 in the morning, ditches her dress and leaves it in the middle of the floor. She slips into bed behind Leah, whispers an apology for waking her, presses her lips to Leah’s neck.

“Did you find Martha a man?” Leah mumbles. And Fatin smells like alcohol and sweat and a strange mixture of cigarettes and weed, but Leah doesn’t tell her to go shower. Leah hums, finds herself leaning back into Fatin as Fatin’s arm settles around her waist.

Fatin chuckles, “Yeah. And we found Dot a man, too, which I wasn’t expecting at all. I’ll tell you everything later. Now go back to sleep. Big day tomorrow.”

Except the first day is only sort of a big day, because it isn’t the actual first day of the trial. No, the trial’s been going on, and none of the Unsinkable Eight have been allowed inside the courtroom yet (aren’t allowed until after they testify), and Martha’s up first. Maybe there’s no rhyme or reason to the order they testify in – or maybe there is – but Martha goes first. And they testify over the course of days, and the days blend together. Leah is selfishly glad that Fatin testifies before her, because that means Fatin’s allowed in the courtroom when Leah testifies. Leah can stare at Fatin the whole time instead of at Gretchen Klein. And the whole night after she testifies, she sobs in Fatin’s arms in their hotel room, and Fatin lies awake with her until the sun rises, and the two of them still just work.

But then the trial ends. (It’s a relief, but it’s fucking terrifying, because now what?) Everyone stays in Los Angeles at least until they hear the verdict, but the night before the verdict will be read, Leah hears Toni and Shelby fighting through the wall – the other wall, because Leah has never heard anything from Dot or Rachel. And maybe Toni and Shelby would hear Leah and Fatin arguing right about now, too, but it’s thirty minutes past the time Fatin said she’d be back to the room, and when she does get back (an hour and twelve minutes late), she’s drunk and she passes out on the other bed – the one Leah’s not in – almost immediately.

The guilty verdict feels hollow when Shelby and Toni use the rest of the girls as a buffer – same as Rachel and Nora have been doing. It feels hollow when Fatin’s hungover and doesn’t understand why Leah’s upset with her.

*

Later, while Fatin’s packing up all her shit and complaining about her headache, Leah registers for classes at UC Berkeley. She sits cross-legged on the hotel bed they’ve shared every night – except last night – for weeks, and she watches Fatin cram her belongings into her multiple suitcases. Leah watches Fatin grab her shit, toss it onto the bed next to Leah so she can pack it. As Fatin chugs a bottle of water, Leah sighs because – even if Fatin pees at the airport when they drop everyone else off – they’re going to have to stop somewhere during their drive back to the Bay. And for the first time ever – since the day they officially got together – Leah wonders if this is going to work.

And Leah shouldn’t be trying to psych herself out, but as she confirms that she’s fully registered for classes in the fall, she does the math. She’s eighteen. She survived a three month stint on an uninhabited island (and Linh’s death proves that, yeah, they really were in a life or death situation), so it’s not crazy to think that she could live for another, like, sixty to seventy years. And even taking into account their shared trauma and all the bonding that came with that – can Leah really see herself spending the next sixty-plus years with Fatin Jadmani?

Leah is eighteen. (And she might be in love with Fatin, but they haven’t talked about that, and after Jeff, Leah isn’t so sure she knows what love is, but this seems like it and it’s fucking terrifying, so that’s a question for later.) So the thing is: Leah doesn’t know much of anything. She knows she survived the island. She knows that she – at the very least – really likes Fatin (and maybe even loves her). And she knows she’s starting college soon. And Leah thinks that’s about all she should be expected to know. But it’s still going to bother her, not knowing if she can spend an entire lifetime with Fatin –

“Babe, you’re staring at a blank screen.”

Leah blinks, refocuses on her laptop, which has gone to sleep. So Leah’s staring at a black screen, and Fatin’s staring at her. And just like that, Fatin pushes Leah’s belongings she’d piled onto the bed out of the way, takes a seat next to Leah. Fatin has that look on her face. The look that she’d get on the island – that look she always gets when Leah withdraws too deep into her own mind.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Fatin asks. Her voice is as gentle as the hand that lands on Leah’s thigh, and Leah flinches.

“You came back late,” Leah mutters. (She tries to push the uncertainty about their future away. There’s no way she’ll be voicing that to Fatin. Definitely not right now, not after they’ve won in court.)

It takes Fatin a moment, but she explains, “Our first Uber never showed, so we wasted almost a half hour waiting on that, and the driver of the Uber that did show was slow as fuck.”

“You came back drunk,” Leah says.

“I came back drunk, and Dot came back drunk, and Rachel came back drunk. That’s why we had to wait on an Uber.”

“You should’ve texted.”

“I’m sorry.”

Leah nods. She closes her laptop, sets it aside, and brushes Fatin’s hand off her thigh. Fatin’s eyes won’t leave the side of her face. Leah exhales, rubs at her eyes, and when Fatin pulls her hand away from her eyebrow, Leah doesn’t resist.

“Something else is bothering you,” Fatin observes.

“Toni and Shelby fought all night.”

“Well, that’s shitty, but it’s not what’s bothering you.”

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

And Leah doesn’t remember the last time she said that to Fatin. They’re coming up on their one year anniversary, so it was probably, like, two or three months into this thing? And Fatin had rolled her eyes and told Leah to just lay it on her and they’d figure it out. And Leah laid it on her and they figured it out. But now, Fatin doesn’t say anything. She just links her fingers through Leah’s and holds both of their hands against her chest.

“We have to get going soon,” Fatin says after they sit in silence for at least five minutes. Leah nods, pulls her hand back, and gets all her things together. Fatin uses the bathroom before they leave the hotel. She uses the bathroom at the airport – before they say goodbye to all the other girls and right before they leave. And Leah still has to pull off the highway so Fatin can pee at a McDonald’s. As they’re pulling back onto the highway, Fatin complains that her headache’s coming back.

*

When they hit their one year anniversary, a few weeks after they hear the verdict (and a few days before Gretchen’s set to be sentenced), Fatin admits, “You know, this is the longest relationship I’ve ever been in. And I haven’t even completely fucked it up yet. Isn’t that insane?”

Leah was almost asleep (in Fatin’s bed, since Fatin’s family is in Italy), but her eyes pop open. And the only thing she can think to say is, “So what’s your second longest relationship?”

Fatin laughs, covers her face with her hands, then says, “Like, three months? I think.”

“You know I’m in no position to judge you for that.”

They haven’t talked about Jeff since they were on the island. And Leah doesn’t intend to say anything more than that. She knows Fatin will know exactly what she means.

“I need to hear you say it, though,” Fatin says softly. “I need to hear you say that I haven’t fucked it up. Unless you can’t –”

“You haven’t fucked it up.”

(Fatin has fucked up. Many times. And so has Leah. But she hasn’t fucked their entire relationship.)

Fatin exhales in relief, like maybe she was actually afraid Leah was about to tell her she’s a giant fuckup and their relationship is over.

[14thcommander]

she lives in daydreams with me | mikasa ackerman x reader

summary: mikasa has always been the coolest girl you know- it isn’t until you go away for college that you realize your feelings are way deeper than simple admiration.

cw: 18 PLUS ONLY! internalized homophobia, queer angst, small town shenanigans, yearning, hints of mental illness and trauma, mutual pining, coming of age vibes.

author's note: i'm genuinely so excited and scared to put this out in the world. this fic holds a huge place in my heart, as well as the topics i wrote about. thank you to the amazing @strawberrystepmom for beta reading it for me! ily

dedicated to @utahimeow

You take a deep breath before exiting your car. 

As you approached your front yard, with a heavy suitcase in hand, you started naming five different things you could see – then, five things you could smell. The way your chest seemed to tighten when you rang the doorbell didn’t go unnoticed by you, although you did fully ignore it. Coming back to your hometown has always made you feel like cattle arriving at the butcher’s. 

The drive is easy, familiar – even though you only come home a couple of times a year, strictly for important holidays. It isn’t that you hate where you come from, it’s more complicated than that and, frankly, sometimes you wish it was that simple. 

Catching up with your parents seems to be the less difficult part out of all of it: their questions are simple, easy. You can’t quite tell if their interest in you only goes so far, or if they are scared of what you may answer them. Either way, it’s a routine you’re already used to.

“School’s fine, mom.” You reassure, hugging her tightly. She mentions something about how quickly time passed since you first left for Trost University, and you hum in agreement. It’s been around four years, and, although you visit on Christmas, your mom repeats the same questions. It’s a mom thing, you figure.

“How are your friends, sweetie?” Your father asks, helping move your suitcase into the house. His words are supposed to be caring, normal even – although you can’t help but feel your throat tighten with the threat of tears. 

“They’re all good.” You answer with a smile, hoping he wouldn’t ask further – and he doesn’t. This one would be hard to explain.

Despite feeling emotional about being in your old home, you can admit there’s some part of it you actively enjoy. It’s less noisy than the place you rent at downtown Trost, and, on summer nights like this one, you might be able to see a few fireflies in your front yard. It’s almost comical, how Shiganshina seems to be frozen in time – or, perhaps, you’re the one who’s been going through constant changes. 

Greeting your family members, playing with your childhood dog and sleeping in your old twin sized mattress are part of it. You feel like an external visitor when you walk up the stairs, even though you’re still very much aware of which steps snap under your weight and which doesn’t.

Your phone buzzes when you’re brushing your teeth to go to bed, an hour or so after excusing yourself from your mom’s inquiry – how’s school? Are your friends nice? Your father says Trost is a great place-

connie springer: 

long time no see, stranger

Your heart skips a beat. The toothpaste in your mouth almost burns your tongue, as you stand in front of the foggy bathroom mirror before spitting in the sink. What does your friend-from-high-school-who-you-haven’t-talked-in-a-year wants from you, at almost midnight? 

you:

hey connie, how’s it been? 

connie springer: 

eh, same as usual. u?

you: 

i’m alright

connie springer: 

cool

stori was asking for your number, can i send it to her? 

You frown at the message. None of this situation makes any sense, especially given the fact Historia Reiss definitely has your number and you text each other – as well as Ymir – on an almost daily basis. 

you:

yeah, sure

You breathe deeply, exiting the bathroom and entering your childhood bedroom, feeling suffocated by the past – polaroids, fairy lights and books on top of books don’t fail to bring back memories of which you so desperately want to forget. You cannot bring yourself to spend another night plagued by thoughts you wish wouldn’t clog your brain – your therapist wouldn’t be proud of that, you think. 

Unlocking your phone, you look for Ymir’s number, refusing to debate with yourself on whether to call her. 

“Hey.” She answers after a few seconds, seeming to expect your call. “Before you say anything, I know. Also, I’m with them right now.” The last words are whispered, muffled by loud music playing in the background – some trendy Doja Cat song indicates she’s at a get-together at one of your mutual friend’s house. You’re not upset: no one else knows you arrived at Shiganshina today, however you give a day or two before you’re spotted in public and everyone else finds out.

“Ymir, what the fuck is going on?” You question, sounding more scared than angry. Your breathing is shaky, and your friend can hear your worry through the static. She’s been that, done that and won’t judge your behavior – even though it seems a bit uncalled for.

“It’s okay, don’t worry. Historia’s birthday is next week, and we had to pretend to have lost your number since you changed it cause, you know…”

You do know. Historia and I have to pretend we’re not in touch with you, out of respect for what you asked us a couple of years ago. Your eyes shut, and you sigh. 

“You’re safe, they don’t know yet… but I don’t think you can keep running from them any longer. Jean is one step away from pulling up to your folks’ place with the whole gang.”

You snort in response, imagining a scene of your friends stuffed in Jean’s jeep. This is what you get from hiding, you guess. You hear someone calling Ymir from the background, which she doesn’t pay any mind to.

“Yeah, I understand.” you reply. “Thank you for the support, really and, um… see you soon, I guess?”

Ymir smiles genuinely at your words, lowering her head to watch the scene of Sasha running after Connie from the balcony. 

“See you soon.”

-

The sight of the local grocery store doesn’t ease the sinking of your stomach – in fact, it only makes it worse. 

Your father texted you during your morning run letting you know you ran out of eggs, and he’s in the mood for pancakes. It was your unspoken duty to get them for him, and this time you don’t whine like when you were a teenager. Moments like this with your family are more appreciated by you, now that you’re no longer around them.

Getting out of your car, you place a pair of headphones on your head and select one of your carefully made playlists. You enter the store, nodding to the customer who gets out and passes you by – a friend of a friend, maybe. Small town culture. 

“Morning.” You greet the cashier, a teenager bored out of his mind, but still greets you back. 

You walk down a couple of aisles before finding the one you were looking for. You smile to yourself, feeling proud of the muscle memory ingrained in your body. Even after all these years, you still remember small details about Shiganshina. 

The moment is short lived, given the fact someone calls your name – a raspy, almost angry voice. 

Of course Levi Ackerman, out of everyone, is who you end up bumping into. 

“Hey.” Your voice is small even when you take your headphones off. The short man eyes you up and down, opening his mouth like he was about to say something. 

“Kid, how have you been?” A stronger, more demanding voice comes from behind the both of you. “We haven’t seen you in ages.”

Wherever Levi Ackerman goes, Erwin Smith is surely with him. 

“Erwin, hi. I’m alright, just busy with school… you know how it is.”

Your tone is playful, almost as if you’re talking to an old friend – and, well, you kind of are. Levi is Mikasa’s older cousin, who took care of her ever since an early age. You remember he had a full time job, while still attending Shiganshina’s community college. He has always worked hard, for both him and Mikasa – and, when things got rough, their crazy uncle would drop by and help with groceries and rent.

And Erwin is, well… Erwin. Always with Levi, following the brunet wherever he goes. Roommates, is what the people around town call the pair – even though you, as well as other people, know better than that. 

Levi resists the urge to roll his eyes at your response, and you should be aware he’s known you enough time to get a lie straight from your lips. Despite the joyful tone you offer them, he can tell this is rehearsed. 

“Erwin, did you get the dog food?” The shorter man inquires, and his partner in crime sighs playfully. Baby blue eyes look into gray ones, as they seem to exchange a message that only they could understand. 

“Ha, I almost forgot it. And kid, don’t be a stranger.” He winks, before exiting the animal products aisle, walking towards the store entrance.

This is the second time someone says don’t be a stranger under, what, twelve hours? You resist the urge to curse under your breath, lowering your head to hide your gaze from the eldest Ackerman.

“Listen,” He starts, voice barely above a whisper – even if you’re the only two people in the aisle. Your sneakers squeak on the floor when you move your legs in order to fully face Levi. “My cousin is too much of a stubborn brat to let you know that she misses you.”

You sigh. Your brain short-circuits with information and flashbacks: the last time you saw Mikasa in person was over a year ago, and frankly, you don’t think you’re ready to see her again. Even though you know she’ll be at Historia’s birthday celebration. 

“She said that?” You ask, voice coming back to its normal tone. 

“Of course not, it’s Mikasa we’re talking about.” He replies, and before you can ask him then how the fuck do you know that, he answers it for you. “She talks about you whenever she gets the chance, though. So does the lanky blond kid.”

“Armin?”

“Yeah, think so. Either way, take care, kid.”

That morning, you left the grocery store with a carton of eggs and an even more bruised heart. 

-

You were watching reruns of a 2000’s television show a couple of days after the grocery store incident, when the doorbell rang, as your dog barked at the sound and got up from its place between your legs.Your parents had left to visit your uncle a few towns over, and miraculously didn’t make you tag along – perks of being an adult, right? You mom had said. 

“Coming.” 

You open the door to be met with the sight of your close friends. 

“Oh, it’s you.” You mumble, rubbing your eyes as shy rays of sunshine enter the living room – you had closed the curtains a few hours ago, in order to remain in the dark. “Come in.”

“You know, ever since moving to Trost you kinda became a bitch.” Ymir says, entering your house as Historia giggles beside her. “I dig it.”

You smile as your dog barks at your friends, which causes the brunette to call him a little shit just like his mom. 

“Mi casa es su casa.” You announce once you enter the kitchen, a place that holds many memories: preparing snacks for movie nights, cooking with your mom, helping your dad fix a cabinet or two…

“Speaking of Mikasa…” Ymir teases, as Historia sits on a stool near the kitchen isle, laughing at her partner’s incredulous choice of words. “It’s about time you talk to her.”

“True.” Reiss chimes in, in a soft manner. “She asked if you’re attending my birthday trip.”

“Trip?” You exclaim, opening the fridge and looking for cans of soda. 

“Yeah, if you can consider going to Jean’s lake house for a weekend to be a trip.” Ymir huffs playfully, grabbing random ingredients from the cabinet. “Anyway, you have to go or we’ll have to kidnap you.”

You close the fridge, clumsily holding three cans of Pepsi in your arms. You place them on the counter, laying your elbows on the cold marble. 

“Of course I’ll go. Wouldn’t miss Stori’s birthday.”

She smiles, letting out a soft awn sound. 

Ymir places the ingredients on the kitchen island – two bars of chocolate, brown sugar, flour, vanilla essence. It’s a scene you’ve seen many times before, but it doesn’t fail to make your heart fill up with warmth and love for your friends. 

“If you don’t talk to Mikasa willingly, I’ll make sure you will eventually. Got it?”

You laugh, despite her tone. You’re well aware it’ll happen sooner or later.

“Yes ma’am.”

-

The drive to Jean’s lake house, a few days after spending the night baking with your close friends, is less awkward than you thought it would be. 

“Psych major huh?” Connie teases, playfully elbowing your ribs. You smile, playfully rolling your eyes. 

“Yeah. It’s less glamorous than it sounds, though.”

Ymir takes a turn, brown eyes focused on the road ahead. The sun was starting to settle, bathing the world in an orange light.

“Reiner is too, right?” Historia attempts small talk, looking at you from the rear view. Her acrylic nails gently tap her bright phone case. 

“Uh, yeah.” You answer, suddenly feeling a bit sour. It’s conflicting: you don’t want your Trost life and your Shiganshina “former” life to be tangled together, although it seems inevitable. “He’s uh, he’s in my class.”

Ymir snorts. 

“That guy realized he’s gay yet?”

“Ymir!” You exclaim, even though her words earn a genuine laugh from you.

“Babe, you can’t say stuff like that.” Historia gently scolds her girlfriend, giving you a don’t mind her look. “What if he hasn’t told anyone about it?”

“Oh, please.” Sasha chimes in, through mouthfuls of potato chips. “He posts Berthold on his private account almost every day.”

Connie laughs – no, cackles actually. She’s got a point. The blond has a tendency to post pictures of his lover every now and then, drinking coffee together or having dinner at downtown Trost. 

“True that.”

At that point, your soul almost leaves your body upon realizing your friends, who know nothing about who you are now, have access to Reiner’s private social media account. It shouldn’t shock or bother you in any way – unless they put the pieces together. 

-

You arrive an hour or so after the rest of the group. 

There’s loud simultaneous calling of your names, someone calling Ymir out for being late as always (which she responds with a middle finger), Connie running towards the welcoming sofa placed in the middle of the living room. Looking around the scene, you smile, feeling like you were watching a movie. 

You see your friends interacting with each other, as you grip the handle of your duffel bag a bit harder. It feels like you’re a fly on the wall, frozen in time, doomed to watch life happen around you as your feet sink further into the hardwood floor. Armin is the first person to notice you – or, at least, the first person to be vocal about it – snapping you from your constant daydreams. 

He says your name, approaching you with a bottle of beer in hand. His kind blue eyes seem softer, not hidden behind his blond locks anymore. 

“It’s been so long, it’s good to have you back.” He offers, and you hug him.

Armin doesn’t mention the visible changes: your haircut is wilder now, but it still feels like you. There’s a few tattoos adorning your arms, peeking through your shirt. You stopped getting your eyebrows done, but it suits you better. The clothes you’re wearing are stylish, that much he can tell – although not in Shiganshina. 

Leaving for the big city really has changed you. It looks like Trost allowed you to grow into this new version of you – or, if Armin is reading this right, you’ve always been like this: Shiganshina just never allowed you to exist like this peacefully. 

“Yeah, you’re right.”

It’s been too long. Long enough for you to become someone else, you think.

“C’mon, let me show you your room. You’re staying with Sasha, I think” He says after you greet the rest of the group – which takes up about  half an hour of small talk and lies from your part, and questions from them. Yeah, Trost is amazing. Psychology is a great choice, I know. Visiting is hard, with constant exams and all that. I’m glad you guys understand. 

Armin leads you towards the stairs, before turning around and making a wait gesture towards Mikasa. 

It’ll be a long weekend.

-

Twilight is long gone, and the sky is washed in its regular black color, beautifully adorned with stars that are only visible in this sort of place. It’s the type of night that calls for drinks and exciting conversation. It’s less overwhelming than you thought it would be like, due to the fact you aren’t the only one who has been gone – although you’re the one who’s been hiding for the first time, avoiding your hometown friends like the plague. No one seems to address it, though, and for that you are grateful. 

You’re a few shots in, finally starting to let loose. It feels magically nostalgic to have the whole group together. You haven’t met up like this in ages, due to most of your friends leaving Shiganshina behind to follow their own path. It seems like you’re the only one to hide and rarely come back, though.

“Truth or dare?”

A nostalgic night calls for nostalgic games.

Ymir’s voice sounds meaner than usual, almost as if she’s taunting you with her words alone. The chatter around you dies down a bit, as a few people – mostly Armin and Jean – stop what they’re doing – stalking Sasha’s new boyfriend on social media – to watch your answer. 

You can feel your heartbeat picking up, as you unconsciously press your fingernails against your palms, creating half-moon shapes. You can feel Ymir’s laughter bubbling inside of her, regardless of the choice you make. But mostly, you can feel Mikasa’s eyes on you, and it feels like you’re the lamb who accidentally entered the lion’s den. 

“Dare.”

A variety of things happen simultaneously once the word leaves your mouth, before you could even rationalize it. Connie whistles and, as you previously imaginez, Ymir cackles – which causes Historia to shush her, attempting to protect your honor. 

You can’t bring yourself to understand why you chose dare, in the first place. Although, it felt freeing to let someone else choose your fate for you, even if it’s just a teenager’s game. Perhaps, what you’re not willing to admit to yourself yet, is the fact you know Ymir might help you make the decision you’ve been laying off for some time now. 

-

Mikasa has always been the coolest kid you know. 

Ever since you became acquaintances during freshman year, when you had braces and didn’t know how to properly do your makeup – Mikasa has had a special shine about her. You remember briefly bonding with her over the same bands you liked, given the fact she would wear metalcore band shirts like it was the school’s uniform. With her dark hair contrasting against her pale skin, and a pair of doe eyes that made all of the boys melt instantly, it was obvious she would end up like this – not popular, but cool. 

You can even recall a moment of jealousy or two, as the hairy green monster clawed at your chest repeatedly. The feeling of your eyes burning at the scene of Mikasa and Eren making out at prom, dancing together as if the world belonged to them, is something that you have engraved in your mind, deeply so. Going to college, meeting new people, having new experiences everyday – that helped you with the process of finding out who you really are, who you’ve been all along. 

It wasn’t until you turned twenty two, about to graduate university, that you realized you were never jealous of Mikasa because she got the boys’ attention – you were jealous she was dating someone who wasn’t you. 

-

“Hmm, let’s see…” Ymir’s voice echoes through the living room, filled with outdated but expensive furniture. “I dare you to spend an hour in the basement.”

You snort. That seemed like an easy task, which makes the butterflies in your stomach die down a bit. You get up from your spot between Reiner and Annie, ready to spit a smart comment to Ymir, when her voice cuts through your eardrums again, causing your blood to freeze.

“With Mikasa.”

[frozenwafflesagain]

I spent the first hour of my 25th birthday thinking about Ben Hargreeves, as one does.

And thus I present…

A Collection of Ben Hargreeves Thoughts And Theories

- INSANELY misunderstood in my opinion

- There is a difference between how Ben was as a child versus who he is as a (ghost) adult

- The Hargreeves all remember the child Ben was, while Klaus knows who Ben became and loves him for it

- Ben as a child: sweet, quiet, kind, gentle, polite, snarky, serious, timid, fearful, still, obedient, know-it-all

- Ben as an adult: loyal, determined, jaded, unapologetic, realist, tough love, practical, sad, sarcastic, caring, desperate, annoyed

- Everyone says Ben was “the best of them” when they were teenagers; I imagine that he was always there for whoever needed it with a kind word or just a hand to hold. Ben just wants to help, I think that’s one trait that stayed with him into adulthood.

- He was afraid of the Horror growing up, obviously. He didn’t want to use it, we can assume from this that he never took pleasure in the death and destruction it brought. He literally says “I didn’t sign up for this.”

- Seemed to go along with Klaus’ pranks, even enjoy them. He might have had a bit of a wild side as a teenager that faded a bit after he died.

- We know he was scared to move on to the afterlife when he died. I think it was because he didn’t want to leave his family yet.

- He stayed with Klaus all those years, and he didn’t have to. He CHOSE to. I think he wanted to stay with Klaus, give him someone to hold on to and watch out for him no matter how frustrating it got.

- But even though he wouldn’t abandon Klaus, Ben very clearly got angry and frustrated and annoyed with him, and understandably so. He had to watch Klaus waste away the life he didn’t get to have.

- When he says as much to Klaus when they’re at the motel, I don’t think this was Ben choosing to rub the reality of his death in Klaus’ face. I don’t think he was doing it to be malicious, because that’s not Ben. I think that he was trying to give Klaus something else to focus on while he was reliving his trauma. Tough love - yeah, what he was saying was undoubtedly hard for Klaus to hear, and I’m sure Ben was airing out his own grievances, but I think it was in the name of distraction more than anything else. If Klaus could think about what Ben was going through instead of focusing on the memories, that could help him in the end.

- In regards to the S2 possession: I chalk that up to poor writing and poor characterization. Ben ASKING Klaus to possess him makes sense to me, but everything else that he does without consent I see as a failure to understand Ben’s character. After everything they went through as kids, after everything Ben himself went through, after the things he probably saw happen to Klaus on the streets, I simply refuse to believe that Ben would have “no regrets” about taking control of Klaus’ body like that. The person the writers have set up Ben to be prior to those scenes would NEVER have been okay with that. Honestly, in my mind, those Ben scenes are not canon.

-That being said, his decision to save Viktor makes perfect sense. As much as he clearly wanted to stay with Klaus, he knew he would finally make an impact on his sibling’s lives if he could get to Viktor and help him control his powers. Again, he showed Viktor tough love along with compassion: he didn’t let him give up.

- But wanting a hug as he goes? There’s the Ben they all knew as kids.

- I think he probably regretted not getting to tell Klaus the truth in his last moments, which is why he asks Viktor to do it. He didn’t want Klaus to carry around the guilt he must have felt at the idea that he made Ben stay. Ben, despite growing harder and more jaded in death, is still kindhearted.

- Predictably, dying greatly affected his personality and the way he saw things as he stayed with Klaus.

[nestaismommy]

some people are saying that the ic belongs to the found family trope. that made me laugh so hard im legit crying bcs how is that dysfunctional group a family? if we can even call it a group. amren is a cunt to everyone. shes not close to any of them. mor is there manipulating cass and az. only feyre and the batboys act like a family if were going this far. you want found family? the valkyries. my queens

Literally!!

Rhys likes to act as if they are family and then goes and betrays Mor by having her meet with someone who is involved in the trauma she had experienced, and her damn abuser. And while she was crying her ass off, literally hitting Rhysand, he just stood there, with no emotion on his face. And same with Azriel. How can someone be this cruel to their own family? He didn’t even comfort her. He didn’t do anything but stand there and watch her break because of something he did. And Azriel knew, and he didn’t fucking tell her. It’s disgusting. Not just this, but right after that, Amren realizes they went to the prison and that they lied to her so Rhysand forces her to tell him about what happened to her. She said no and he straight says “it wasn’t a request” I was so damn disgusted when I read that. What’s even more disgusting is the way all of them just backed away from Amren, and fucking Azriel got behind her, with truth-teller, as if she was about to attack them all. The fact that he was ready to attack her. I hate Amren & Mor but they are part of that “family”, and the way they were treated in that specific chapter was beyond disturbing.

“Call off your dog,” Amren said with that lethal tone.

Because the shadow in the corner behind Amren … that was Azriel. The obsidian hilt of Truth-Teller in his scarred hand. He’d moved without my realizing it—though I had no doubt the others had likely been aware.

Family my ass.

Anyways the Valkyries though>>>

Remember when they comforted Nesta??

A knock sounded on the door an hour later, and Nesta stopped crying when she saw who stood there.

Gwyn threw her arms around Nesta. “I heard you might need us.” Nesta was so stunned to see the priestess that she returned the hug.

Emerie was the one to say to Gwyn, “I can’t believe you left the library.”

Gwyn stroked Nesta’s head. “Some things are more important than fear.”

Or this scene!!

Her friends regarded her curiously, and Nesta swallowed. “Let me make a wish for all of us,” she explained, gathering the three charms. A small gift —for the friends who had become like sisters.

A chosen family.

Nesta squeezed the charms in her palm, closing her eyes, and said: “I wish for us to have the courage to go out into the world when we are ready, but to always be able to find our way back to each other. No matter what.”

I hope we see more of the Valkyries