#i want to get better

[finxdiaryxo]

how i feel after eating one thing and saying I overate

[urlocalsadkid-l]

do i feel bad about how much i’m having for dinner? yes. should i feel bad? no. it’s my first meal of the day so i deserve to have what im having. four chicken tenders from my workplace, three eggs, and part of a brownie. i deserve to eat, i deserve food, i deserve to enjoy what i am having. i don’t deserve to eat only once a day, i don’t deserve to go hungry, i don’t deserve to not eat. i deserve food.

[charcharrealsmooth]

Lowkey fell back into an old ED for the past bit of time and I don't want it to be how it was back then, it sucked, so I'm gonna try to do more things with Aphrodite because that actually makes me happy, yeehaw

[delicadelittledoll]

❝ She is terribly afraid of dying because she hasnʼt yet lived. ❞

— Frank Kafka (adapted)

[miss-wizard]

can someone just take care of me please

[the-ren-and-stimpy-fan-club]

My first ever animation!!! Enjoy!!!

[lovethisfatcryptid]

I guess I'm just the kind of person who cries with relief when completing a task. That's who I am now.

[mr-gentleman-scientistt]

I bring a sort of genuinely really struggling mentally vibe to the function that well adjusted people don't really like

[bi-prince]

how do i know which tense to use? Technically i KNOW what I've got to do but when im trying to fill in the blanks its like im rolling dice and the stakes are high

[recovery-nuovame]

My meme™️

[sheer-descent]

i hate being self aware!!! It’s actually the worst thing ever!!!

I hate watching myself become overrun with anger and with hate, and project so much on to my loved ones, and then lash out at them.

I hate that I know I overexplaining does nothing but make things worse, and then still doing it aways.

I hate that I never know when to stop, when to give up. Because all I’ve ever been taught is to keep going and persevere, but that mindset damages all my non-work relationships.

I hate that I can’t ever seem to get myself out of these moments of fire and anger until it’s already been done.

I hate that no matter how much I try to make amends, there’s always a crack in me that causes an oil leak, so when I feel the tiny match burning, it becomes a massive house fire.

I hate that I keep trying to get better, and I just keep falling into the same cycles, and I don’t know how to get out.

I hate seeing myself do these things when I know I shouldn’t.

I want to get better, but I don’t know how. And it’s so hard.

[queerunpleasantdanger]

.

[muddycherub]

I was hoping and dreaming like a little kid the past few days. I had so little doubt only realistic questioning but with hope. So quickly I've shifted from prioritizing reconnecting and bonding with friends and family to believing they don't really care much and would act differently if they did. That I'm never getting out and if I do I'll just end up killing myself no matter where I am. I finally found comfort that I'd always be there for me but now I would do anything to get away from myself. The notion that even if my circumstances are completely fixed and ideal I will still have this awful awful feeling and I'll still always want to die at night. Except for those moments I'm a child again, dreaming and hoping and praying to God even though I don't believe they exist. I want to feel the security of God again. I can't help but be logical and it makes me miserable.

[somethingusefulfromflorida]

You ever get the feeling that you're just riddled with tumors and your whole body would light up like a Christmas tree in an MRI but you don't want to go to the doctor because it would be prohibitively expensive to gamble wrong and learn you're fine and now in six figure debt for no reason?

[delicadelittledoll]

Poor Little Rich Girl

a young, jobless woman that stays in bed, reads, talks to the phone, smokes cigarettes, does fancy makes up and tries on some clothes from large wardrobe.

[palletteofhyperfixations]

well,

HERE IT IS. The video I promised you. This is my first actual video, the rest are sorta failed attempts to get a following(aka shorts) but I hope you enjoy this one! And maybe give me some feedback? I would love to up the quality of the vids