#i want to end my life
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What do you mean Fugo isn't coming back what do you mean he doesn't show up anymore FUGO PANNACOTTA FOR THE LOVE OF OUR LORD AND SAVIOR GET ON THAT FUCKING BOAT RIGHT NOW OR I'LL SWEAR I'LL LOSE IT IF YOU DON'T SHOW UP IN THE NEXT EPISODE I WILL COMMIT A CRIME THAT WILL PUT ME IN JAIL PERMANENTLY SO I DON'T HAVE TO WATCH THIS SHOW WITHOUT YOU FUGO I SWEAR I FUCKING SWEAR FUGO WHEN I CATCH YOU WHEN I CATCH YOU FUGO-
#my friend: he doesn't show up anymore and i tell you now bc it'd be worse for you to watch this thinking he's coming back#i want to end my life#NOT THE ONE CHARACTER I LIKE#i mean i like all of them BUT NOT MY FAVORITE C'MON#i don't wanna keep watching#*keeps watching*#i know why he doesn't go with them like it fits his character perfectly#however. just. just turn him into a villain or something#OR KILL HIM#but he's literally ghosting me#i'm getting ghosted by a fictional character#jojo's bizarre adventure#pannacotta fugo
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i want to cut deep into my thigh and damage my skin so badly i end up in a hospital.
#actually bpd#actually mentally ill#actually borderline#vent#tw harm#tw sh#tw self destruction#tw self destructive behavior#tw sh implied#i want to end my life#suicidal tw#bpd blog#bpd fp#bpd thoughts#obsessive yandere#bpd#obsession#actually obsessive#glitcheneedlespost#im not ok#im depressed#depression thoughts#clinically depressed
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Finally now that the comic is fully public on comicfury, I get to share it with all of you here, too <3
If you enjoyed, please consider supporting by buying a PDF of the comic on itch.io: https://tawnysoup.itch.io/home-in-the-woods
#I'd rather not clutter the caption so I'll ramble a little in the tags#HitW is short but special to me as it represents and encapsulates some hard life experiences I was going through at the time of its creatio#Ofc in a more metaphorical manner! but. I have been very much enjoying reading people's comments and speculation as its been posting#the interpretations are so meaningful and varied and i love that and really want to encourage anyone to reflect on what it means to them#for me making this comic was a way to process and move past trauma. i feel like it ends anti-climactically but i wanted to be true to#where i thought things were actually going in my life moreso than to veer towards impact. ultimately im glad i managed to finish it#and for it to finish going public right before the new year? maybe i can see this as shedding that old pain in time to become something new#so thank you for reading for supporting and for still being here. lets wake up to 2025 with wind in our sails#Home in the Woods#my art#my comics#original comic#cw guns#cw blood#cw body horror
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#putting this here in case anyone decides to go looking for more info about my particular guy here#1) soccer player 2) gay 3) started for italy met and got engaged to his future husband while there and adopted a girl#4) ends up spending the rest of his life in germany bc he got traded but he WAS able to get gay married there#because it's legal in germany and not italy. ENGAGED FOR LIKE 15 YEARS BTW!!!!!#5) husband dies at 110 and then my guy dies 7 years later also at the age of 110#6) I don't want to start a new life in the game because I played as him for hours and don't have the heart to wipe the slate clean#yusuf yacob you will always be famous. to me. sorry for making your penis injury gain interest#and sorry your mother died after being charged by a hippo
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i say if you’re gonna have the mysterious entities speak in rhyme you might as well commit (EDIT: part 2!)
(posting an unprecedented Part 1 of At Least 3 bc i actually have the entire script and most of the storyboarding for this done already)
#yknow. got an idea. had a breakdown. bon appetit#this was the creative impulse i was referring to on sunday#my art#my poetry#secret life#secret life spoilers#slsmp#grian#geminitay#briefly#trafficblr#also#mostly bc i am proud of it and partly bc i want people to know it’s on purpose:#grian is not trying to rhyme at all in this part. he is being deliberately unhelpful#he lowkey tries to fuck it up on purpose in that second to last panel but the secret keepers just switch rhyme schemes#the one time he completes an end rhyme is because he lost his temper#anyway yeah this was motivated mostly by me wanting to see if i could do it
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at some point it's just like. do they even fucking like the thing they're asking AI to make? "oh we'll just use AI for all the scripts" "we'll just use AI for art" "no worries AI can write this book" "oh, AI could easily design this"
like... it's so clear they've never stood in the middle of an art museum and felt like crying, looking at a piece that somehow cuts into your marrow even though the artist and you are separated by space and time. they've never looked at a poem - once, twice, three times - just because the words feel like a fired gun, something too-close, clanging behind your eyes. they've never gotten to the end of the movie and had to arrive, blinking, back into their body, laughing a little because they were holding their breath without realizing.
"oh AI can mimic style" "AI can mimic emotion" "AI can mimic you and your job is almost gone, kid."
... how do i explain to you - you can make AI that does a perfect job of imitating me. you could disseminate it through the entire world and make so much money, using my works and my ideas and my everything.
and i'd still keep writing.
i don't know there's a word for it. in high school, we become aware that the way we feel about our artform is a cliche - it's like breathing. over and over, artists all feel the same thing. "i write because i need to" and "my music is how i speak" and "i make art because it's either that or i stop existing." it is such a common experience, the violence and immediacy we mean behind it is like breathing to me - comes out like a useless understatement. it's a cliche because we all feel it, not because the experience isn't actually persistent. so many of us have this ... fluttering urgency behind our ribs.
i'm not doing it for the money. for a star on the ground in some city i've never visited. i am doing it because when i was seven i started taking notebooks with me on walks. i am doing it because in second grade i wrote a poem and stood up in front of my whole class to read it out while i shook with nerves. i am doing it because i spent high school scribbling all my feelings down. i am doing it for the 16 year old me and the 18 year old me and the today-me, how we can never put the pen down. you can take me down to a subatomic layer, eviscerate me - and never find the source of it; it is of me. when i was 19 i named this blog inkskinned because i was dramatic and lonely and it felt like the only thing that was actually permanently-true about me was that this is what is inside of me, that the words come up over everything, coat everything, bloom their little twilight arias into every nook and corner and alley
"we're gonna replace you". that is okay. you think that i am writing to fill a space. that someone said JOB OPENING: Writer Needed, and i wrote to answer. you think one raindrop replaces another, and i think they're both just falling. you think art has a place, that is simply arrives on walls when it is needed, that is only ever on demand, perfect, easily requested. you see "audience spending" and "marketability" and "multi-line merch opportunity"
and i see a kid drowning. i am writing to make her a boat. i am writing because what used to be a river raft has long become a fully-rigged ship. i am writing because you can fucking rip this out of my cold dead clammy hands and i will still come back as a ghost and i will still be penning poems about it.
it isn't even love. the word we use the most i think is "passion". devotion, obsession, necessity. my favorite little fact about the magic of artists - "abracadabra" means i create as i speak. we make because it sluices out of us. because we look down and our hands are somehow already busy. because it was the first thing we knew and it is our backbone and heartbreak and everything. because we have given up well-paying jobs and a "real life" and the approval of our parents. we create because - the cliche again. it's like breathing. we create because we must.
you create because you're greedy.
#every time someones like ''AI will replace u" im like. u will have to fucking KILL ME#there is no replacement here bc i am not filling a position. i am just writing#and the writing is what i need to be doing#writeblr#this probably doesn't make sense bc its sooo frustrating i rarely speak it the way i want to#edited for the typo wrote it and then was late to a meeting lol#i love u people who mention my typos genuinely bc i don't always catch them!!!! :) it is doing me a genuine favor!!!#my friend says i should tell you ''thank you beta editors'' but i don't know what that means#i made her promise it isn't a wolf fanfiction thing. so if it IS a wolf thing she is DEAD to me (just kidding i love her)#hey PS PS PS ??? if ur reading this thinking what it's saying is ''i am financially capable of losing this'' ur reading it wrong#i write for free. i always have. i have worked 5-7 jobs at once to make ends meet.#i did not grow up with access or money. i did not grow up with connections or like some kind of excuse#i grew up and worked my fucking ASS OFF. and i STILL!!! wrote!!! on the side!!! because i didn't know how not to!!!#i do not write for money!!!! i write because i fuckken NEED TO#i could be in the fucking desert i could be in the fuckken tundra i could be in total darkness#and i would still be writing pretentious angsty poetry about it#im not in any way saying it's a good thing. i'm not in any way implying that they're NOT tryna kill us#i'm saying. you could take away our jobs and we could go hungry and we could suffer#and from that suffering (if i know us) we'd still fuckin make art.#i would LOVE to be able to make money doing this! i never have been able to. but i don't NEED to. i will find a way to make my life work#even if it means being miserable#but i will not give up this thing. for the whole world.
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🦋 wherever you are, we’ll meet again.
#my art#arcane#vi#jinx#powder#vi arcane#jinx arcane#powder arcane#god i miss them so badly#i just wanted them to be so happy together man#please god bring our family back together#i’ll never make a sad arcane drawing. im not built for that life#google show me arcane sisters happy ending
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i love you royal trio (minus akechi)
#i was listening to the world we knew by frank sinatra while drawing this to inflict maximum emotional damage 😔#royal actually shot me fifty times in the chest and slaughtered my entire family#i’m actually inconsolable over the ending what the fuck do you mean akechi chooses to die of his own volition rather than be manipulated#god it’s just. his character actually makes me violent and insane. they’re going to drag me kicking and screaming to the psych ward#he never had an ounce of control over his life. not even once. he was CONSTANTLY being yanked around like a marionette#until he was disposed of as another pawn in shido’s plan#and then out of some cruel irony he was resurrected even though he did not want to be alive#for once in death he would have found peace—only for that to be taken from him too.#and bc he thinks he’s worthless and his life is so easily gambled away he doesn’t view it as a major dealbreaker when maruki brings it up#“do you really think something as trivial as my life should stand in the way of your decision?” yes you fucking asshole#what do you mean he’s literally fated to die in every timeline? definition of doomed by the narrative#there’s not a single version of his story that doesn’t end with him being slaughtered#GODDDDD he makes me violently ill i hate goro akechi so much he’s so fucking selfish HOW CAN YOU NOT SEE THAT THIS DEAL IS TEARING ME APART#i was so tempted to get the bad ending just so that he was alive ☹️#he looked so happy. he was surrounded by people who loved and treasured him.no shido. control over his life. the ability to choose his futu#TEARS IN MY EYES MARUKI WAS THE ONLY VILLAIN WHO WAS LOWKEY MAKING SENSE 😭😭😭😭😭#my toxic trait is that i think maruki was right all along 😔#ALSO SUMIRE AAUUGGHHHH 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#the survivors guilt literally eating her alive until the point where she gaslighted herself into thinking she was her sister. insane.#royal was so good bro i’m so glad i endured 200 hours of hell just to play it#terrible terrible ending with everyone going their separate ways and ren ending up in juvie for months#akechi actually being dead in the good ending is so fucked up 😭😭 i thought there was some way maruki could bring him back regardless#not ren hallucinating him in the last cutscene too 😭😭😭😭 “i still see your shadows in my room” ahh ending#persona 5 royal#persona 5#ren amamiya#akira kurusu#sumire yoshizawa#goro akechi#lotus draws
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teddy 🤝 bowie 🤝 billy
#no bc phil interacting w animals is everythinggg to me ;-; and wait. the way all their names end in an -ee sound. the dots are connecting#tfw all i wanna do is keep giffing but i have to go sleep and work 😔#dan and phil#phan#amazingphil#phil lester#danandphilgames#dpgdaily#dnp gifs#my gifs#A Day in the Life of Dan and Phil and A Tiny Horse#Giving The People What They Want#The Battlefront Show - Ep8 w/ Amazing Phil#compilation
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Gem and the scotts vs the Mounders + scar finale
#secret life smp#slsmp#goodtimeswithscar#pearlescentmoon#smajor1995#bdoubleo100#impulsesv#smallishbeans#geminitay#gem and the scotts#the mounders#i hate the composition actually#but it was too late#and i wanted to get it done#anyways great ending#loved both teams#my art
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snoopy.exe 💻⌨🖱
Snoopy #10
11/10/2024
#peanuts#snoopy#art#10#gif#first gif!#wasn't sure about the frame timing but i think i settled on a good speed in the end#one thing about me is that i looooove a hand-drawn version of a digital interface#idk why but it's just so yummy to me. hand-drawn screenshots have me like (SICKOS voice) YES HA HA!#tbh i have no idea if an .exe file can even do that but whatever!#also notttt sure about that shade of yellow but yellow is my default and favourite colour sooooo#not pictured: the mouse cursor i briefly considered drawing before realising i didn't want to animate that LOL#imagine if british people spelled cursor like 'cursour'... it's giving ferb in the doofenperry kpop stan twitter au#also for once in my life the outlines are just proper black instead of off-black bc i think that's very computer interfacey
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BigB is making me lose my mind.
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My buddy @salemoleander made a post going over all the weird stuff with BigB’s unusual Secret and it got my mind racing. The red icon... The isolating, grindy, antisocial task... The strange phrasing… Makes you think 👀
(Even if it turns out to be nothing I WILL be headcanoning lore about it hehehe)
#secret life#secret life smp#bigbst4tz2#bigb#bigb fanart#secret life fanart#secret life smp fanart#secret life Bigb#slsmp#trafficblr#floweroflaurelin art#mcyt#mcyt fanart#mcytblr#secret life spoilers#I’m Team BigB to win it!! or at least top 5#the text on the image is a line from his Secret task#text in the caption is Grian’s dialogue after being gaslit#my theory is that it has to do with the End. I think he was digging for the stronghold :3#I hope there’s more red Secrets next week I really want this to mean something
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the feeling of being given up on by someone who fought tooth and nail to find you
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okay but what if. video game designer marinette...
#miraculous ladybug#marinette dupain cheng#this is brainstorming for one of my WIPs technically but#i increasingly headcanon marinette as realizing in university that fashion design isn't really what she thought it would be#and then having a crisis of what the heck do she wants to do with her life. and taking a long time to figure it out#and feeling like she's falling behind because all her friends know that now. and adrien even knows what he wants to do now#and he keeps reminding her of all the times she told him not to worry. that he'd figure it out in the end. but she's like IT'S DIFFERENT#and every time she finds something she finds 100 reasons she can't do it or won't like it--mostly cause she's sort of lost faith in herself#maybe i just want to project the mid 20s experience™️on her okay? KJBADFKJDKJBGFKB#BUT YEAH SHE'LL FIGURE IT OUT IN THE END#and i think she could get so into gaming. she can't decide if she wants to do more game design or art or programming aspects#so she tries out multiple different programs before settling into a job#but then she's a badass#do you see the vision?
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I'm a doctor, not a miracle worker.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wen ning#wei wuxian#wen qing#jiang cheng#Truly Massive disclaimer here: I am a Jiang Cheng enjoyer. I like his character. I enjoy that he is very flawed and volatile.#This episode of the audio drama has a lot of great breakdown scenes featuring JC - and they all deserve a feature.#But underlying this comic is a small meta comment of 'ah man I have too many comics of JC just wailing sadly'#My goal is to draw 6-8 comics per episode - I sometimes have to truncate and cut good scenes out.#Especially when a large majority is just different flavours of trauma and toxic relationships to your self-worth.#I would also like to make a note here that just because you lose the ability to do something that is very tied to your core identity-#-does not mean your life is over. It will feel like the end of the world. It will send you into a spiral of grief. It will hurt so badly.#Sometimes we do not realize how tied up our identities can be in certain things until we are cut loose.#You don't lose yourself. I promise the pain will fade in time. I promise you will find other things to tether you. I promise you will be ok#Life moves forwards. Time moves forwards. You move forwards.#Ego death just means an opportunity for ego rebirth. You are never committed to being the same person forever.#To wrap this around to JC: Yeah I love the twist with the core transfer but man I would have loved to see JC accept the loss.#Obviously it happens for a reason (story) but I can have my AUs. I can have these 'what-ifs'.#described in alt text#I'm trying it out! *please* give me feedback - I want to eventually Add image ID to all of these comics one day
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