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itstheghostofmypast · 6 months

Text

Meow (Ch-4)

Choi San x (f)Reader

Summary: He had spent an entire millennia in solitude, waiting for her to come back to him, bearing this curse that was a constant reminder of his ignorance, his mistake, and his guilt. He had forgotten how fate had always been cruel to him, punishing him for all he had done, and so be it, meeting her in the 21st century should have brought him joy- there was only one problem, his love for her may not have decreased a drop, but she may love Poofy more than she ever loved him.

Genre: Fluff/Angst

Word Count: 15k

Est Read Time: 1 hr 15 min

Warnings: death of a major character, abuse, war, PTSD.

Rating: Mature

Networks: @cromernet @k-labels @san-network

Masterlist I Chp-3

He watched her walk out of the room, making sure to close it behind her, giving him some form of space, though he could hear the way she let out a sigh, so she was still afraid- no, perhaps uneasy at best. Well, he did leave some impression on her, invading her home, taking up her private quarters for two weeks, having her take care of him, such carelessness, San, it was not like you to burden such a delicate flower- visibly scoffing at the train of thought he huffed, laying back down as his head collided with the soft pillow breaking the blow, honestly, he had wanted it to hit hard enough to knock him out, for the way the Moon had fated him with a human was as exhausting as the time she had blessed him to be the protector of this land. However, he now preferred the latter any day. The more important and disturbing question that lingered at the back of his mind was the fact that neither of his brothers had looked for him during this time. Well, usually, he wouldn't let them wander around alone, especially in unknown areas that Yunho had not mapped, but he did feel like they could've sent the wolves to look for him. Or maybe they did and he didn't know? What if they couldn't find him?

The door slid open, causing him to close his eyes, and pretend he was asleep, he was still cautious of her, she had yet to prove her innocence. She may have been only taking care of him to gain a favour or his trust, only to exploit him later, or worse, ambush him, betray him, shattering the heart that had now begun beating for her- oh this was going to be a problem, he huffed, trying to keep his eyes closed and expressions relaxed.

She walked in with the tray, mindful of her robes, glad she had worn the light pastels with the gold highlights, a good first impression is important. Making her way around the bed she placed the tray on the small table, turning to face him, only to find him asleep.

"Oh...my, he must still be tired," she whispered, leaning closer to expect the damage, her original plan was to change the bandages after he finished eating, but since he was asleep now, she could just do it whenever he woke up. Her ears picked up his little huff, eyes flickering from his shoulder to his face, was he in some form of pain? Shifting ever so slightly she moved a bit closer, closer to his head, with deft fingers she brushed a few strands of hair out of his eyes, noting the shift of expression when she gently carded her fingers through his hair, actually she was trying to aim for his kitty ears, but she needed to take it slow.

He bit his lower lip at the gesture, trying to control himself, his body had begun to respond to her actions, it was no longer following his will and that scared him. He knew that around your other half instinct would often take over but she was not aware of their 'fated relationship', what if he ended up losing complete control and giving into his desires, one which were infatuated by his heart and burning passion for her. Perhaps he should open his eyes and scare her away again, the further she stayed the bet- a loud purr emitted from his throat, causing his eyes to snap open as she froze, fingers still in his hair, giving him a sheepish smile- though the fear swirling in her eyes almost gave her away- almost.

"What...are you doing?" A strained whisper broke past his lips, finally shattering the silence as he tried to even out his breathing, his purrs growing louder when she began to scratch below his ear, petting him like a cat, "My apologies...but you have really cute ears...Poofy."

Clearing her throat she slowly pulled back, praying to the Moon that he did not notice her flushed face, truth be told she had never laid eyes on a man more beautiful, so alluring and charismatic. He intrigued her, made her turn back to the curious little girl she was, the same girl who found Yuyu hiding behind the bushes at their home, who brought Yuyu to meet her mother and forced him to become her playmate- but there was something different about Poofy, the way his piercing gaze lingered on her, she could feel the way he was scanning her, sizing her up, drinking in her presence when she had first introduced herself, it was...different.

He gripped her wrist whilst she was about to pull back, maintaining eye contact, admiring the way her face was near his, pretty sure with a tug he'd have her fall on top of him- perhaps another time. Slowly bringing her hand back to his head he placed his hand on top of her, letting out a quiet purr before closing his eyes, "You may proceed, tiny human."

Smiling at the gesture, she tried to ignore the tingling sensation of his hand on hers, he was so warm, she'd never really held hands with anyone before- technically this wasn't holding hands, well in a sense, oh god, this intimacy was going to driver her insane. Was it common for his kind to be this physical, Yuyu would always hold her hand too, well then, Yuyu was Yuyu, he was different, he was sweet and playful, and he was one of the few important people in her life- was.

That night she found herself sitting on the futon, back pressed against the wall, her fingers in his hair, playing with the strands, caressing his ears, with his head in her lap- truth be told she didn't remember how or when he'd way onto her lap. Still, he was snuggling closer and his loud, soothing purrs were lulling her to sleep, it had been long since sleep had come to her on its own, often she'd need to drink her sleep-inducing drops, prescribed to her ever since that day, without them she would lay on her cold, large bed for hours, listening to the silence, letting the bitter reality of her meaningless existence prick at her bones, tempting her to take matters in her own hands often. Still, then she would remember the promise, too afraid to take any action that might ruin the chances of her ever reuniting with Yuyu. Her fingers danced across his hair as she looked down at him only to find him staring back at her, causing her breath to him, he was...so...shameless, not an ounce of unease swirling within his brown orbs, staring up at her shamelessly, like he had every right to do so, he was doing it again, he was trying to read her, study her. She didn't want to break eye contact, but she was amazed and appalled by his audacity, the proximity and intimacy had her heart hammering against her ribs, bouncing around, yet, he was so calm, so relaxed and so warm, her eyes flickered to his lips, not wanting to look at him anymore, only to notice his lips slightly quirk upwards, before he spoke, "You think a lot, tiny human, your thoughts keep you awake and they're keeping me awake."

"You really are rude, Poofy." She huffed, only to squeak when he nuzzled his face in her lap, trying to push him off but he glanced at her, "Is this how you treat your patient, Princess of the East?"

Princess? She never told him- how? What?

"How do you...know?" She whispered, only for him to sigh, reaching for her hand that had stopped on his head, gently shaking it causing her to jerk out of her daze, she never knew she stopped it, only to start again when he sighed sleepily, "A conversation for tomorrow, Princess of the East, for now, tend to my wounds."

She could only shake her head in response, he really was something else, so closed off yet so clingy, like they had known each other for millennia, maybe if they had, things might have been different for her, for Yuyu, for her mother.

The Moon really did give her another Poofy.

The next morning, she had woken up by a loud snore, eyes snapping open at the volume, how could someone snore so loud- oh heavens. Her face warmed up at the thought of it, unfortunately, she couldn't even blame the sun, squinting at the light as she made her down the vast field. With her basket in hand, she was busy making her way to the other end of the field, near the trees, in need of some willow catkins, his wound was healing but the inflammation was still there, which is why she had made her way out of the cabin early in the morning, well because of that and the fact that if she had continued to lay on top of his chest, she would have combusted- not only was it extremely unladylike of her do to so, she has no memory of snuggling up next to him, all she remembered was him falling asleep in her lap and she had rested her head against the wall, closing her eyes for just a second.

A rustle from behind the bushes had her freezing up, she slowly turned her head to glance at whatever hid behind, only to let out a small squeak when a giant brown bear slowly walked out, though his eyes bore a form of gentleness she had barely seen before. She had no plans of getting mulled by a bear today, so she followed what all the books on survival she had read taught her, stay still, and pray to the Moon that the beast lose interest in her and leave. Though after ten minutes of standing there, unmoving she felt the sudden urge to sneeze- oh no. With an ungraceful sneeze, she fell backwards, the flowers cushioning her fall but before her, the bear stalked towards her slowly, and like the scared little girl she was deep down inside she sat there, closing her eyes, hoping it’d be quick. Though it never came, cracking open an eye she found its head stuffed in her basket, and that’s all it took for her to decide that this was the best time to escape.

Slamming open the door to the cabin she ran inside, not even bothering to close it, only glancing behind her to make sure it wasn't following her, then colliding with another body, with a squeak followed by a loud thud she gasped, pushing herself up on her hands, only to come face to face with a frown.

"I admire your brave advances Princess, but I believe I am not your type." He smirked, fingers twitching to grab hold of her, though he held himself back. Truth be told he had been looking for her as soon as he had woken up, and although he couldn't find her, he had decided to do something else, snoop around.

Unfortunately, if one were to break in, they'd find nothing out of the ordinary, other than the fact that this belonged to a peasant, a peasant woman, which is why mid-searching his goal had changed, to find all the places someone could break in from, especially given the knowledge that a woman lived here alone. This was not a safe arrangement for any woman, let alone one of her statures. Eleven, in total there were eleven places within this cabin where someone could break in, he needed to talk to her about it.

Apologising she slowly moved off him, only to lay on the floor, trying to calm herself down as she stared at the ceiling, lying next to him, she was too scared even to register his joke, too scared to ask him how he was feeling or how he had even moved? There were no bears in this part of the forest, hell, there were almost no predators in this part of the kingdom, that's why they had moved her here right? Not only because they wanted her to stay away from political matters but because it was safe too, right? They'd never...harm her?

He sat up quietly, turning his head to find her blankly staring at the ceiling, well, he could hear the little voices, squeaking around, but he was unable to make out any form of coherency, perhaps he still had a lot to learn from Hongjoong and Yeosang, the two could read thoughts, probably knit a whole gown with them and the person wouldn't have picked up on it- if he had actually listened to Hongjoong's lectures he could've plucked out these thoughts feeding off her life force, draining her serotonin- alas, that was not a trait he possessed and using words was always a quality possessed by Yunho or Wooyoung, but if he were to try...for her...just for her- wait, why should he try for her, what has she ever done other than saving him? More importantly, she is a mere mortal and royalty at that, a proper, spoiled, pompous and arrogant creature, of course, she would be no different from those who had visited their temple, demanding the land and its beauty- pitiful creatures of ignorance, starting a war to take back what was never there's, this false sense of power than consumes them disgusted him, they disgusted him and she disgusted- his eyes flickered to meet her meek gaze, to notice the rosy hue spreading across her cheeks, licking her lips as she sat up, staring at him, before mumbling, "Are you...hurting, Poofy? You're scowling?"

Truth be told she had stopped thinking about her family problems as soon as he had gotten up, somewhat proud of her medicinal skills, he was healing and he was healing quickly, sure, his supernatural powers had helped speed up the process but she was glad that she could be of use, of use to someone at least. Another new occurring issue however was the way he'd look at her, his eyes would be so serious and cold, a story untold swirling within his dark orbs that were often fixed on her face, her form and perhaps even her soul, but that never scared her, because with this cold stare accompanied a pout, one that would have her giggling inside, she had never seen a man so masculine yet so...cute?

"I'm..." he tried to focus on the distant noise radiating from her, but it had begun to fade away, he had noticed this the first time she had introduced herself to him, every time she'd be sitting quietly the noise would grow in volume and frequency, often resembling the shrieks and howls of the demon fleets he fought off with his brothers at the brink of dawn, the trials the Moon had put them through to prove their worth, which is why he was often like this around her, though he could feel no ounce of satanic residue off her, what was more concerning how when she would become to converse with him, they'd quickly disappear into nothingness. Instead, he'd be staring at a warm, calm presence, just carefree in motion and living, much like how he noticed about the field sunflowers, swaying side to side as the wind would lovingly caress them, easing away all their frustration and worries, leaving them to look up at the sun and bask in its glory, just like that she'd smile at him, as tranquil as the summer sea, waiting patiently for him to speak his mind, "I'm just a bit hungry, Princess. "

That is exactly how the War Chief found himself back on the futon, in front of him a table filled with food for him, though he eyed her coming and leaving the room with more food only for him to grab hold of her wrist when she was placing a cup of juice, "Either eat with me or stop bringing more food."

She flinched at the contact, something he noticed but didn’t react to, nor did he loosen his grip, only tugged her down, making her sit near him. Clearing her throat she slowly moved to increase the distance between the two, but sat there with her hands on her lap, looking at him eat quietly, “Is it good?” she asked, trying to strike up a conversation, she had begun to follow her mother’s recipes, although no one at home would eat them, which is why she wanted his opinion, perhaps she could be able to make food like her mother did, the same food that attracted Yuyu to their palace.

“I haven’t had meat this tender in a while,” he cleared his throat, putting down the chopsticks, “I’ve been on my own for months, making rounds of dark patches, so I cook whatever I can hunt or just have a small snack,” turning to look at her quizzical look he sighed, “Dark patches are concealed areas, after the great war the earth was divided up, land was sectioned, our maps were rendered useless, now there are three types of territories-

“Oh, I know that.” She cut him off before quickly covering her mouth, dipping her head as an apology, “My apologies, please continue, that was out of my place.”

True, she knew, she had a lot of knowledge about the kingdom, before and after the great war, but the war had happened centuries before she was born, though she could read, her mother had taught her how to, and she could write as well, a quality her father disapproved off, especially after she had begun to show interest in the way the kingdom worked, from political matters to military actions. Truth be told, the war had always fascinated her, to think the human army had fought off the beasts that roamed the land freely, she too much like everyone else had believed them to be beasts, ones cursed by the Moon, even though her mother had often convinced her how that was untrue, she did not believe her mother’s claims and chose to believe what her ancestors and her father both talked about, how the beasts were pure barbarians that destroyed all that came in their way, or at least she thought she believed it till she had met Yuyu. Unfortunately, she was now afraid that her sudden interest would offend him, having him dismiss her like her father or brothers did, that very thought led her to bow deeper, an apology at the tip of her tongue but he cut her off.

“What are you doing, Princess?” he asked, out of genuine curiosity, this little human was definitely interesting, the Moon had really searched hard to find a cracked nut for him- so much for being the Moon’s favourite, “Why are you apologising? It has been long since I’ve met a human who knew about the history of the world, continue, I want to know if what you know is closer to the truth or have you been fed by the corrupted version?”

She peaked up from her lashes, noticing how he gave her a reassuring smile, before slowly sitting up straight, clearing her throat, unsure if he was serious, or not, but deciding to continue anyway, “Centuries ago, the land was split into three portions; man, beasts and demons. Humans were well, normal and unimportant, mortal beings such as me, we were at the bottom of the food chain, not directly linked to the Moon, but were under her supervision nonetheless, for she loves all the living equally,” he smirked at her statement, well, she did love the living, but he was definitely her favourite, “then came the two who were either cursed by the Moon or blessed, originally, human scriptures held the truth about the two clans, the Lurkers, those who were cursed by the Moon, often man or beast turned into Lurkers, they held within them essence of dark magic and were fuelled with the same passion of demons, and then the second clan was on top of the pyramid, the beasts, also…known as the guardians, such as yourself, you were blessed by the Moon, given traits similar to an animal that became your spirit, I knew one who was a canine, back then he was a puppy, I know not who or what he is now and …you’re the second guardian I’ve met.” She smiled at him, proud when looked at her with a look of sheer surprise, truth be told he was impressed by her knowledge, which pushed her to continue her little history lessons, “Now our scriptures hold lies, truthfully I used to believe them, choosing to ignore my mother’s stories, she had knowledge of the original scriptures hidden in the palace, our current scriptures claim how the beasts and Lurkers attacked humans, but the truth is that the Lurkers and humans worked together to bring down the guardians to take their lands and they almost did, until they turned on each other, the guardians used this as an advantage, they say that day the sun and the Moon stood together in the vast sky, the two dragons, lunar and solar guided and protected their armies below, one that was led by the Canidae, one that was led by the Ursidae, and one that was led by Felidae- they say the Felidae was the strongest batch, led by a giant black beast, its fur was as dark as the silent, deadly sky but its golden eyes were as bright as the piercing sun, some say it resembled a panther, that day the guardians won, but once again chose to honour the Moon’s decision of choosing them as the guardians, putting forth the request of showing mercy upon the Lurkers and the humans, so the humans were banished from certain areas, though they held more land now, and the Lurkers were…cursed into becoming goblins.”

She looked up from her hands to face him, to only squeak at how close he had moved to her, he was very much in her personal space, and again, instead of letting her move back, he gently pinched her chin, forcing her to face him as he studied her, “Tell me, princess, you know so much about us, yet you were afraid at the sight of another guardian today?” Her face contorted at his statement, she had met no other guardian today she had met no one else at all, no one but the bear- a small gasp escaped her lip as her curious eyes met his mischievous gaze, letting her pull his hand away as she gripped his wrist, whispering, “The…bear…but how did you know I met…someone?”

He let her hold onto his hand, somewhat surprised by how she didn’t pull back, perhaps she had not realised it, usually, she’d pull back like she was repelled by his presence, “I saw you leave with a basket, you came back empty handed and scared, the look in your eyes was not one held by a woman being chased by a man, I have saved many women as such as usually they are in fear of those bastards following them, you were not which meant it was a creature you thought was not smart enough.”

“Oh my…” letting go of his hands she covered her face with her hands, letting out a shaky breath, mumbling to herself, “What if they think I’ve done something to you- I was so scared, usually no animals come around here, the East is covered with the forest, but no actual animal life, if you have noticed, so I- especially not predators such as that- I am so sorry, maybe I should’ve talked to it-

He cut her off by pealing her hands off her face as he held her cold hands in his warmer, larger hands, “Who was it?”

“A…bear.”

“You met…” he paused for a moment, eying her, he still didn’t trust her enough to let her in, soulmate or not, that issue was still to be decided, “Jong,” he decided not to tell her his real name either, “ that is his animal spirit, I believe they sent him to look for me, as you know I was out cold for two weeks, before that, I had been out on my own for months, but I would send letters often.”

“I see.” She sighed, only to realise he was holding her hands, clearing her throat as she slipped out of his grasp, she got up, only to trip off his tail and squeak as she fell onto his lap, glaring at the way he smirked at her, truth be told he was still put off by the fact that she was a human, but her knowledge about the truth may have peaked his interest, that and the cute reactions she’d give when he’d tease her were of clear amusement.

“Very funny,” she huffed trying to move but he wrapped his arms, around her, making her squirm, “S-stop, this is in-inappropriate!”

“Aww, but I thought you liked sleeping on my chest” he chuckled, before it turned into a boisterous laugh at the way she whined, pushing off him trying to hide her blushing face. Ironically it was not her who had snuggled up against him the previous night, but when he had woken up, he had noticed the uncomfortable position she was asleep in, sitting there with his head on her lap, which is why he had helped her lie down, only to end up staring the futon with her, but her constant whimpering and small cries had him wrapping his arms around her, forcing the bitter thoughts away, trying to follow the method taught by Yeosang, to pluck away all the negative thoughts and memories, at least temporarily so she could sleep in peace, he was mindful enough to not interfere with her memories, choosing to respect her privacy, her past was a secret only for her to hold, he knew and respected that.

He let go of her, laughing when she mumbled how annoying she was, and declaring her exit with a, “You need to rest, I’ll clean everything up.” For a princess, she sure did live a domestic life. He couldn’t help but smile to himself, watching her stack up the dishes, taking in her side profile, he’d be lying if he were to say she was not one of the most beautiful creatures he had laid his eyes upon, perhaps the most beautiful human for sure- or was this feeling a result of her being his other half?

“Poofy?”

“Hmmm?” his eyes locked with hers, taking in the insecurities swirling within her gaze.

“You- you won’t disappear right?”

He took a moment to process her question, watching how she bit her lip, staring no longer at him but at his tail, then at the plates. Perhaps he took a minute too long because as soon as the silence began to grow, she cleared her throat, trying to keep her voice steady and gave him a small smile, “Forget what I asked- I’ll go bring your ointment-

“I will not.”

The way his words cut her off had her expressions relax, her typical faux smile turning into a thin line, as she stared at him, trying to take in any signs of insincerity, but she could find none, or perhaps he was too good at hiding them. At the back of their minds, both knew he had to go, she had no idea about ‘the one’ and he had yet to decide if he deemed her worthy to be her other half, even if the Moon had dedicated her to him.

“You- seriously you lost her?” Hongjoong sighed, looking up from another scroll to find the man staring at the floor, acting all guilty, of course, he did not tell his king how he had gotten distracted by the catkins in the basket she had left behind.

“I fear Jongho needs a good beating.” They heard a little chirp, causing the youngest to roll his eyes, and snap back, “I lost her because she has no scent you fool.”

That statement led Yeosang to look up from his book and finally speak up, "What do you mean?" He asked the youngest, every individual had a personal scent, perhaps she was masking hers somehow, "Was it masked?"

Jongho shook his head, tossing the basket to Yunho who caught it, staring at the weaved basket, trying to find any traces of her, but he couldn't, odd, he clearly remembered her having a particular sweet scent as a child, one that had lured him to him- like of sugar syrup.

Mumbling something to himself Yeosang walked out of the chambers, leaving the rest confused, though Seonghwa sighed, before looking at Hongjoong warily, "I told you she's no good, we don't even know what condition he's in, what if he's hurting? What if she's torturing information out of him?"

"CAN YOU PLEASE STOP! THIS IS PURE TORTURE!"

He wailed, causing her to roll her eyes at him, ignoring him as she spread the ointment, snorting when he hissed like a cat at her. "How can someone as big as you cry like a child? It barely even stings." She chuckled, pulling her hand back when he sat up and glared at her, resting on his right elbow, "How can someone as pretty as you cause so much pain?" He finished before his cheeks flushed at his confession, eyes meeting hers for a split second before both averted their gaze, he cleared his throat and laid back down quietly, while she continued to spread the ointment on the healing stitches.

"I-I'll be gentle..." she whispered, not looking at anywhere but the stitches, though she felt him relax under her touch, earning a meek, uncharacteristic, "Thank you."

Yeosang slid the door open with such force that everyone in the room felt the tremors within the wall, "Look." He huffed, walking in, his blonde locks shining, emitting a warm glow - it had been a while since they'd seen his aura, watching him in his angelic glow, this was either good news or perhaps horrible news.

He walked up to the center of the room and placed a plant pot on the table, painted purple, it was San's. The once dirt-filled pot now had a little sunflower standing in the centre, its small petals glowing, much like the healer, "That's why you can't find her scent," he turned to Jongho, but much like everyone else the youngest was staring at the tiny flower in awe, the bittersweet reality seeping in, San had found his other half, and she was human.

"She...oh." Seonghwa's eyes snapped up at Yunho, taking in his defeated look, an irritable feeling bubble within him, San and Yunho had a stupid, juvenile bet, which one of the two would find a soulmate first, to be their 'one', although he never assumed San's one would be linked with Yunho, wonders of fate were still above her comprehension. Nonetheless, this foolish cat and dog race may prove to be troublesome.

"Wooyoung" his voice boomed, even Hongjoong felt the intensity of his thoughts, something was bothering Seonghwa, it had been for a while, not only did he send San to a dark patch without backup, but he had been the first one to notice his lack of letters as well, what was he looking for? Truth be told, although both the king and his advisors were dragons, one with the heart of the dear Moon and the other with the heart of the mighty sun, he never understood Seonghwa well enough to pick up on his little side quests, to him he was a mystery, much like the endless sky.

"Hmm?" He perked up at the call of his name, looking away from the little flower to the eldest, taking note of his glowing eyes, before letting out a tired sigh, "Fine, I'll go look for him..." he turned around though the firm grip on his shoulder had him wince as he mumbled an, "And talk to him."

Washing the last dish, she placed it on the rack, shaking the water off her hands before staring outside through the window, sighing as she welcomed the cool breeze, she loved nights like these, not a cloud in sight, only the stars twirling around their mother, the Moon, all watching down on her, keeping her safe, keeping her sane.

Sighing she leaned against the sink, thinking back to how Poofy had called her pretty. Truth be told, she was often complimented on her looks, though most compliments seemed superficial, either trying to appeal to her father or for some political agenda, though both were completely pointless, for her father she held no worth, she was useless, and in terms of political control- well, she wouldn't be sent to this cabin out in the middle of nowhere if she were of any use or value, now would she? She was called pretty by only one other person before, Yuyu, and although she had felt the depth of his statement, felt the admiration, what she felt today was different- the way her heart had fluttered around in the cage of her bones, she felt her entire face warm up, and she knew for a fact that her hands were shaking after that statement, especially against his skin. He had decided not to speak to her after that, perhaps a guardian such as himself wanted nothing more with a mortal like her- technically he too was not immortal, sure he was centuries old but guardians too had a lifespan, only the longest out of the three species. Even when she had whispered how she was finished, he only quietly thanked her before looking the other way and mumbling, "I would like to rest, leave tiny human." He had stopped calling her Princess as well, she really did wonder why.

He lay there staring at the ceiling, the embarrassing memory of his confession flashing before his eyes, causing him to jerk himself back to reality and hiss in anger. On a serious note, he couldn’t believe he let it slip, it was just so out of the blue, especially when she was teasing him, her growing confidence around her was somewhat causing his self-control to slip out of his grasp and although he was somewhat enjoying it, he could not give himself the leverage of this love for two reasons; she was a mortal, she would grow old and would need constant companionship, as a War Chief who was also a guardian, he was always busy, always gone for war or for mapping quests, he could not provide her with the constant love and affection she...deserved? Or could she provide him with the undying devotion and time he was entitled to- though deep down he knew the only issue was the time given to them, not the love, if she was giving him her attention when they were mere strangers, perhaps she would shower him with more. The second and more pressing matter was that she was royalty, human royalty and humans had an innate sense of selfishness rooted within them, so what guarantee did he have that she would not leave him for another more powerful or she would not deceive him? Would she not be more loyal to her own kind? Her own father? Her siblings or even her nation, if she were to attain the throne. She had the wisdom and knowledge, and with a few years of grooming, she'd be fit to take the throne. With a huff he turned his side, taking in a deep breath but he instantly regretted it, she had laid here beside him the night earlier, her scent was all over the place, and his pillow was the epicentre at the moment- shit.

"Ow." She hissed, putting the needle down, apparently, the embroidery was harder than she expected, that and the giant slash in his vest left by the dagger was more of a nuisance. Frankly, she was surprised how he never asked for where his clothes went, not his vest or coat, now that she got a closer look she could see the small crest imprinted right below the collar at the back of the coat, an infinity symbol, with a diamond on the centre- was this real?

A little chirp caught her ear, followed by the nearby rustling of leaves. Usually, she wouldn't sit out on the porch, but the weather was just perfect tonight, and his constant, loud snores kept on reminding her of his alluring presence. Placing the vest on her lap she looked around, the few lit lanterns were not enough to show her what lay beyond the porch, normally she was afraid of the slightest of sound, any and everything would scare her, the dark, the violent wind, any storm passing by would have her shivering under the covers, especially when she was sent away to the cabin for long periods, such as this, it was never a pleasant experience, but then ever since he had arrived, it would feel as if the sun had finally decided to step out from behind the looming, dark clouds that were slowly suffocating her, as if she finally had something to turn to, to look up to, to bask in the glory of someone so warm, someone so soft, someone so safe, someone so - another chirp had her stand up, and slowly walk towards the end of the porch, stepping onto the final step before she'd touch the dirt path, a lantern in hand.

"Wh-who is it?" She called out, only to be met with silence, "I- are you...one of them?" She asked again, at this point she didn't know who she was calling out, but something at the back of her mind kept reminding her that it didn't matter because he'd come to rescue her, the Moon would bear witness to that.

Something moved beside her causing her to squeak, and move the lantern towards the source, only to find a pair of golden glowing eyes, her breath hitched as she took a step back, only to realise it was a fox. She had never seen one up close, a small gasp escaped her and she moved closer, before stopping when it flinched, emitting a growl, only for her to clear her throat, "I-I won't hurt you...are you...are you here for Poofy?"

At the name the fox visibly looked confused, she could even make out the small frown he had, his tail tapping against the dirt, only for her to chuckle, "He won't tell me his real name, I need to know if you're actually one of them or an animal- I don't want to disturb him otherwise."

The fox moved closer and she froze, maybe this wasn't such a good idea. Her worries died down when she felt him boop his wet nose against her hand, ducking his head so she could pet his head, which led her to giggle. "Wow, your fur is really soft" she mused, making sure to scratch behind his ear, which led his tail to tap faster, "You're really affectionate, aren't you? Poofy didn't even let me pet him for around three weeks of being here."

The fox pulled back and looked at her then at the cabin, letting out a chirp, he moved to slowly push her with his head causing her to gasp, "So pushy, all right, all right. I'll go get him." With that, she picked up her things and turned to give the waiting pretty fox one last look, before going inside.."Poofy?" She knocked before entering the room, making her way into the dark room, rolling her eyes at the sound of his snores, he was one heavy sleeper. Moving closer she reached for his head, slowly scratching below his ear, causing him to purr, stirring awake when she leaned closer to whisper, "Poofy, your friend is here to see you."

Cracking open an eye he whined, "Who is it?"

"A fox."

"Stay here." Instantly he sat up, causing her to yelp and fall back on her behind, looking up at him in utter shock, "What? Why? I thought-"

"No." He leaned closer, before grabbing her face, squishing her cheeks lightly, enough for her to whine and try to push his hand away.

"Have you forgotten what state you found me in? Hmmm, Princess, when you found not a cat, but a man on your bed?" His smirk deepened at the way her eyes widened at his question, face flushing at the flashback of how when she had come to check up on the cat the next morning, she had almost screamed at the top of her lungs, on her bed lay a man in the nude- oh.

"Mhmmm, now be a good little princess and stay here." With that he let go only for her to cover her face with her hands, whining and complaining about bringing up a topic she had not touched on purpose, she had been trying to avoid it, even going as far as stealing one of her brother's pants for him- though she had to mend it, turns out guardians are bigger in size than an average man.

Closing the front door behind him he stepped out, his bare feet padding across the wooden porch, only to stop at the top of the three staired staircase, staring at the fox sitting at the opposite end.

"Took you all long enough." He huffed before tossing a sheet at the fox, watching it land on its head, only for it to chirp and whine, shaking it off, before looking up at the man with some sort of guilt- the foxie face as he'd say, a much better look than the puppy dog face, most would agree.

"Put that on, nobody wants to see a naked Wooyong."

"Especially her? Hmm, Poofy?"

A pleasant smile graced his features as his brother stood where the fox once stood, tying the sheet around his lower half all tight, though San would've preferred if he had draped it over himself completely, he had brought a fairly large sheet, there was no need to show skin.

"Especially her."

Wooyoung let out a giggle, "So it's true, she really is the one, huh?" He smiled, though it soon morphed into a frown at the way his brother was staring at the Moon, "What's wrong, Sannie?"

Typical Wooyoung, to delay the task handed down to him, only to deal with the emotional turmoil his brothers were going through, perhaps that is why the Moon had assigned him with the role of a subordinate and not a leader of any kind, though he was more than happy to take it, nature had always been his companion and he would happily spend his days lounging around in the sun, rolling around in the grass or even dipping into the crystal cool lake for a swim than being part of any other war.

Sighing he walked closer to his brother, gesturing for him to follow. The two had begun to walk down the dirt path, into the very sunflower field where she had found him, on the brink of death. They needed to have the conversation away from the cabin, away from prying ears. "She is...but she is human...and she is royalty, a princess. She possesses the knowledge about the truth, but...I fear I- she might betray us, all humans do and-'

"Is that all you fear, San?" The younger one asked, turning to a sunflower, admiring the way nature worked, the sunflowers here were bigger, the head of the flower was as big as his hand, while the flower in San's pot was still small, was it to grow and bloom when their love would too?

"I," pausing for a moment he shook his head, "Of course, that's all, humans have been a source of worry and perhaps this is only a test the Moon has given me, to check if I can resist and stay steadfast to her truth."

"Then why haven't you come back yet?"

His question caught him off guard, watching the younger one with a look of scepticism, what was he implying, "Are you...questioning my loyalty, Wooyoung?"

"No, but I need to know why you are pretending to be sick, your tail and your ears, this is all for show, isn't it? I don't think it would take a War Chief, The War Chief of the Guardian Army, blessed by both the Moon and her brother the Sun, more than a month to heal, now would it Sannie?" He turned to look at the taller man, listening to the silence around them, on his way here he had noticed how no other life form but flora existed, no animals or insects, none, it was unnatural, it was as if a certain presence was keeping them away and he was sure this had been happening long before San had arrived, he was also sure that San had noticed this, but chose to ignore it. Within a second his nails morphed into claws, stabbing into the large sunflower, instantly earning a growl from the man in front of him, "What's the matter? Cat got your tongue?" With that he ripped off the head, turning to look at the growling beast only to be tackled by him onto the ground as his grip tightened around the damaged flower, while the latter squeezed his throat, hissing at him, "Don't hurt the flowers."

"Why?"

"You know why!" His grip tightened as he yelled.

"She knows Yunho."

Immediately his grip loosened, slowly moving off him, features morphing back to a calm state, "What?" He breathed out, thinking back to how Yunho, when he was a mere healing pup, would escape from the temple, coming to the human world where he had befriended a human girl, for a long time he'd claim this human was his other half, though all of them would dismiss the thought, passing it off as a joke.

"She....come home Sannie, Seonghwa is calling for you, talk to Yunho, sort it out, I-" his fingers loosened the grip on the flower, "There's a sunflower growing in your pot...Yeosang wants to see you to- they're all worried about you, I'm worried about you." He sat up, staring at his brother who was sitting on his knees, staring up at the Moon, he was about to call him again, until he noticed the way his shoulders were trembling, and how he was biting his lip, trying to contain the overflow of emotions, of the confusion and frustration."Let's go home, Sannie."

"Poofy?" She sighed, slowly sitting up, and looking around the room. The sunlight blocked by the curtains was the only way she realised how late she had slept for- wait she was in her bed? Pushing the covers off her she stumbled out of the room into the small hall, "Poofy?" Calling out once more she looked around the cabin, before walking out barefoot, slamming the door open and onto the porch, squinting at the sudden increase in brightness, the sun sure was happy today.

"POOFY?!"

Her calls were becoming more frantic, more desperate, her small steps turning into sprints as she ran down the sunflower field, calling out his name. He couldn't leave like that, he said he wouldn't, also he wasn't healed yet! He was still sick and- she stopped at the sight of her sheet on the ground, a shaky breath escaping her as she knelt down to pick it up, only to spot a crushed sunflower head next to it. Her gut twisted at the sight of the poor flower, reaching for it instead as she cradled it in her hands, looking at it with blurry eyes, whimpering out a quiet, "There, there, you're safe now, you're not hurting anymore, you're loved."

"You can stop kneeling you know-"

"No. Let him, it's his punishment after all." Seonghwa scoffed from his seat, eying the way their king was pitying the overgrown, spoiled, obnoxious cat- not once did this foolish child think of how worried he was. How he was worried he was hurt, lost or worse, no instead, he was busy trying to mingle with a human-

"Since when did Seonghwa get the throne?" A deep chuckle resonated in the room, causing the youngest to raise his head off the floor, giving him a small smile, though the healer earned a scoff from the advisor.

"Sit up, lover boy, we need to talk." He said patting his shoulder as he placed the purple pot on the table that divided Hongjoong and San. Taking a seat on the cushioned floor beside the War Chief, "So, explain yourself, though I'd skip the erotic detai-"

"Nothing as such happened, Sangie." San quickly cut him off trying to ignore the way the king was now frowning at him, "I swear I didn't do anything- we didn't do anything!" He clarified quickly, "I'm not an idiot."

"I doubt that." Seonghwa mumbled causing Hongjoong to interject, "Enough. Please, can we please get to the bottom of this before this gets any more frustrating?"

"Okay, so this," Yeosang moved the pot closer to San, "Is what grew overnight, so, tell me, what happened that this happened overnight and don't lie or hold back important information."

San looked at him and then at Hongjoong who encouraged him to continue, watching how everyone had entered the chambers, including Yunho, though he remained at the back and sitting next to the door quietly. He had been lost in thought since the day they had found out about San's soulmate.

"I was attacked by two of the Xikeys, came out of nowhere." He began only to be interrupted by Mingi, "Two small goblins? They caught u off guard, how?"

"Bet he was staring at a butterfly." Wooyoung snickered, causing the light laughter to resonate, only once it died down they were met with silence, all eyes turning to the War Chief who was staring at his hands, blushing like a tomato.

"For the love of- Demote him. Please." Seonghwa huffed, running his fingers through his silky locks, trying to calm himself down, "Are you serious?"

"I-it was a blue monarch butterfly, it's been so long since I've seen one." He mumbled before pouting at Hongjoong, "There were so many of them, and - and there was no other animal there, like the forest was empty, surrounded by flowers and these butterflies so I was confused about that too, it's awfully silent there."

"He's right." Wooyoung added, only for Jongho to add, "About both things, there are no other animals there and it is deathly silent. What was in that area before the human kingdom took over the land of the East?" He turned to Yunho, all of them, except San, he was still staring ahead, not yet ready to face the map maker.

"I'm not sure, I think it belonged to an old Lurker, Azmer if I remember correctly." He announced, noting how everyone was quietly staring at him, "I'm not sure where San went to particularly, perhaps that area wasn't under his rule, but-"

"Azmer was the only one of the ten Kings of the Lurkers, it's said that he refused to part take in the war because he believed all three nations could live in harmony." He sighed, only to lock eyes with San, who was now staring at him. A playful smirk graced the map maker's face, "What's wrong Sannie? I'm sure she would have told you if you asked her, "What did you learn about her in the past month?"

"Yunho..." Hongjoong warned, picking up at how the feline of the group was growling, turning around in all his pride as he stared at the mapmaker slouching against the wall from his cushioned seat.

"I did not want to learn anything about her-"

"Then why were you still there?" He cut San off, "You don't want her as your other half either, she's been through enough rejections as is and-"

"Funny, she mentioned a puppy who disappeared, I guess you rejected her too." He smirked, observing the way the colour drained from the other's face, frankly, this puppy's smile had been a pain ever since he had come back.

"At least she remembered me."

"Yet, I'm the one she's paired up with-"

"You don't deserve her!"

"And you do, mutt?!"

"ENOUGH"

The hall went quiet, both Wooyoung and Yeosang exchanged a look, then glancing at Hongjoong, who was staring at Seonghwa, his fangs poking out, as he walked towards San and grabbed him by the collar, pulling him closer, "You were gone for a month, you wasted a month, risked our defence like and learned what? Nothing?" He hissed, feeding off the fear emitting from the younger ones' eyes, as the lunar dragon turned his head to the map maker, "What do you know?" the timber of his voice having Yunho dip his head in obedience, he tossed the War Cheif aside, watching him fall back onto the floor as he reached for the flower pot, fingers caressing the petals before his elongated nail clipped off a petal, earning a whine from the panthers. His emerald orbs flickered towards the Guardian, who was now kneeling once more, bowing to the lunar dragon, "P-please, my liege, do not hurt her." He whispered, his forehead pressing against the carpeted floor, hands fisted beside his head, no pride present within his being, something everyone noticed in the room. The War Chief had been known for his pride and prejudice, yet here he was, begging for - well, he didn't know either, perhaps he was just begging for love, to be loved, to share the ample love he had within him, to feel whatever he'd read about in those little stories he'd read as a kitten.

"Seonghwa..." Hongjoong sighed, noticing his little kitty-cat trembling in all his mountainous glory, though he knew when his brother, the dragon birthed by the Moon, was much softer than he was deep down, though his anger knew no bounds, something the Solar dragon feared.

"Yunho." Hongjoong turned to the map maker when his brother ignored him, not out of spite, but because he was too busy trying to read the man before him, he could sense the inner turmoil, he could tell this fool was holding back, perhaps he too would have done the same in this situation, but he should have been able to see past his emotions, to look at the truth objectively, not to let his emotions get the better of him, San had never neglected his duties, he had never let anything distract him.

"She's....Azmer's granddaughter." Yunho sighed, eying Mingi who gasped but quickly covered it up with a cough- the action had the youngest two choke on a laugh, earning a glare from the green-eyed serpent, quietening them down.

"San, did you...find something odd about her?" He finally asked the man who was still kneeling with his forehead pressed against the floor, it somehow bothered him how readily San was willing to throw away all he had for her, yet he knew nothing about her if he was not devoted to the Moon, he would've said that she had made a mistake, blessing San with an angel in disguise.

"Get up," Seonghwa mumbled before going back to his original spot, against the window, staring out at the setting sun, knowing that Mother would disapprove of him treating his brothers like this, she'd talk about mercy and lecture him about compassion once more.

Sitting up on his knees he placed his hands on his thighs, facing the room, his eyes not meeting a single pair that was on him, "She has nightmares...almost life-like, " he sighed, thinking back to how she was whimpering in her sleep the night she had slept next to him, she would struggle against the sheets, trying to rip out of his grasp when he had tried to calm her down, only to end up using magic to settle her unease, "There are voices, she hears them while she's awake too and they only stop or die down when I speak to her or when she's not sitting in silence....at first I thought I was imagining things, then I thought she was a witch but...they're always around her, it's so noisy, "he mumbled, a wave of guilt splashing over him as his eyes widened for a split second, something noticed by Hongjoong and Yeosang who shared a look.

"What is it San?" Hongjoong asked, leaning closer to the table, "What did you just remember?"

"She..." he turned to look at Yunho, "made me promise...not to disappear."

"She has Lurker blood." Yeosang finally intervened, walking over to where Seonghwa sat, looking out at the pale purple sky before reaching for a scroll on the shelf beside the window, "Lurkers turn the way they are because they are cursed, while the Moon wanted to show them mercy, her brother, the Sun believed they should be punished, so each Lurker is doomed to hear the screams of not only their ancestors but the victims' as well," opening the scroll he placed it on the table to show to Hongjoong, however, everyone had hudled around the king, a small smile gracing the King's lips, regardless of the seriousness of the matter.

San was reading the scroll when he felt a hand squeeze his shoulder, causing him to turn his head and meet Yunho's apologetic gaze, one he returned with a small smile.

"I...had to use the spell you taught him," he turned back to Yeosang who nodded, raising a brow, "Funny, how you said you'd never need it when I was teaching you."

"So, she's a Lurker, stay away from her, or kill her, either way, the king will use her for her own benefit."

The harsh words had the War Chief biting his lip, trying to keep in the growl. Shaking his head Hongjoong finally stood up, and turned to look at his advisor, "Advice that advocates war and violence is not what a king needs, your personal grievances are noted, but San can not deny the path the Moon has chosen for him."

Seonghwa turned to face the king, a scowl gracing his angelic, handsome features, "Fine, my advice is he goes, but as a cat, she should not know he is there. He had his time with her and learnt nothing about her, observe her from afar." With that he stormed out of the chambers, his silk robes tailing behind him, swishing like his actual tail, slamming the door behind him.

San turned to look at the sighing King, only to pout at him when he raised an eyebrow at his War Chief and then the rest of the council, "All of you, prepare for San's quest- and please do not do anything that would put us or.... her at risk."

Taking in the fresh air he sighed, his elbows resting against the window sill as he looked far ahead at the forest below, the Moon watching him from above. Truthfully, he had missed his room, his soft bed and covers, his personal space- but oddly enough he missed the small futon of her more, his softer bedding was not warm enough, it did not carry her scent or her warmth, his room seemed too big for him now, too bland and empty. Seonghwa was right however, he knew nothing about her, but how knowledgeable she was, well informed, well, she could stitch and sew, she knew how to cook and clean, she even knew how to create her own medicine- she was very soft as well, warm too, her skin felt so cold against his, like the cool splash of water in the burning heat, was this enough to claim he knew her though?

A knock on the door had him turn from his place of brooding, watching it open as a familiar face stepped in, with a smile, in his hand he carried a plate of apples, "Yeosang said these are special, he grew them in his garden with Jongho, they'll help replenish your strength. "

With pursed lips he nodded at the taller man, gesturing towards the small table at the other end of the room before turning back to look outside.

Yunho sighed at the way he was ignoring him, honestly, there was a point when these two were inseparable, but perhaps as they grew older, the feline turned more quiet, more reserved, perhaps even more shy than he claimed not to be, Yunho was the opposite however, the mapmaker was completely different. Ever since he was a young pup, he’d be adventuring around and about, even when they were mere children, young soldiers of their respective armies. Hongjoong did say they were different because Yunho belonged to his army, the Solar Dragon, while San was part of the Lunar Serpent’s fleet.

“Why did you leave her?”

His question caught the mapmaker off guard, having him quietly stand next to the man, closing his eyes when he felt the win caress through his hair lovingly, truth be told he loved nights like these, cloudless nights where the Moon would shine bright on them, watching their every move with her tender love.

“I…had no choice.” He whispered, opening his eyes to look ahead at the endless sea of dark green, the forest, the land that was under Hongjoong’s kingdom was more than what the Lurkers and the humans had combined.

“What do you mean?” San asked, turning to face him, trying to take in more information, perhaps to find something that would ease his guilt, “She looked…she feels…is it because she still likes-

“She never liked me Sannie,” he turned to him with a small smile, “Never like that, otherwise her little flower wouldn’t be grown in your pot.”

“I didn’t mean to-

“I know,” he cut off the feline, who was somewhat ashamed to look at him as if he had taken what belonged to the pup, “I know you didn’t, I never doubted that. When I had met her, she hit me with a stick, right over here.” He pointed at the top of his head, “I was growling at her before that- she was a real menace you know, the eldest of the four siblings, she was supposed to attain the throne after her father…”

“I don’t think she’s getting it now though, they’ve tossed her into this cabin…no one even comes to check up on her- she’s all alone, where is her mother?” he sighed, walking towards the table he sat down on a cushion, picking up a golden apple, Jongho and Yeosang had been trying for a while, to grow the ancient golden apple of health.

“She…passed away, a few days after I stopped visiting her.” He rubbed his palms together, walking over to sit opposite to him, taking an apple of his own, “When I met her, she followed the same story her father had told her, she was a vile child, I actually met them by accident, my paw was stuck in the fence and I first thought she had come to help me out, but she stood there with a stick, pointed at me and,” snorting he split the apple in half, eying how San was listening to him intently, like a curious kitty, “She ‘ordered’ me to become her pet, and I refused by growling, for which she hit me with the stick, it went on for around 20 minutes until her mother popped up out of nowhere. Bless that woman, she saved me…took care of me.”

Nodding at him San looked at his hands before letting out a chuckle, “She’s…different now, very shy…very timid and so scared, it’s like she’s just barely hanging on.” He could never imagine his little sunflower as a child like that, to him, she would always be the gentle-natured angel that found him, at the brink of death.

“When I transformed back she had threatened to report me, even threatened her mother, that was the first time I saw her mother angry, she had really…knocked some sense into her- I even met Azmer once, he used to come to teach her magic, though it was almost similar to the kind Yeosang possess, she could heal, she could grow, she even understood nature- though I used to think that part was a lie, until I plucked out a flower once for her, and she had started crying, full on sobbing about how the flower cried to her about how I hurt it,” he sighed, turning to look up at the Moon out of the window, “honestly, I started liking her the day she said that, she was still a menace no doubt, but her grandfather and mother put in a great amount of effort to mould her for a better queen, my lov-” he paused when his ears picked up the way the other man’s breath hitched, “admiration for her increased when Azmer told us about the prophecy, a child of human and Lurker, would bring peace across the land, tying all three nations together, the child would be offered to a guardian,” he turned to face San again who was staring at him in shock, truly amazed, so the Moon had not blessed him randomly, but this was a prophecy, “That’s why, for a long time- well, until today I thought it would be me.”

“But…I…” he paused for a moment, trying to form a coherent sentence, one that was not too insensitive, “Is not that a child of damnation?” He knew Yunho knew what he was talking about, a similar prophecy surfaced many years ago, “A child of a Lurker and human would cruse the land, bringing chaos among the guardians, wreaking havoc across the three nations.”

“It’s a… double-prophecy, if…as Azmer said, she was to choose the path of the Lurkers or one decided by the humans, such as her father, she would be fulfilling the Yin prophecy, if she were to take her own path, she would be fulfilling the Yang prophecy- for which she was promised a sincere other half, one who would stand by her to no end.” He sighed, standing up as he dusted his hands, eying San who was looking up at him curiously, “Go to her, observe her like Seonghwa has told you, not because we don’t trust her, but so you can see how much her mother and grandfather groomed her, how she is going to fulfil the Yang prophecy and what better partner to have than the great War Chief, the Moon’s blessed soldier, my very best friend and dearest brother…you.”

San sat there silently, letting the gravity of the situation weigh down upon him, slowly her actions and her insecurities began to make sense, and her promise, she had lost Yunho whom she must’ve assumed was her other half, perhaps his arrival had helped her realise it was not Yunho, but him, for whom she was meant to wait be-, his head snapped up at the door, words coming out quicker than he could stop them,

“Why did you leave her?”

Yunho’s hand was on the doorknob when his question had him freezing in spot, a long sigh broke past his lips that settled with a frown, “One of her brothers, Lauster, overheard us one day, and he reported it to the father…the king. The king had exiled the old Lurker, and a few days later news broke that their grandfather had died…supposedly attacked by a group of goblins, the queen was devasted and horrified, she had made me promise to protect her daughter when I’d grow older but also told me not to return until I was strong enough…so I did.” His forehead pressed against the cool mahogany as he closed his eyes, trying to keep the tears at bay, clearing his throat so his voice wouldn’t betray him, only San was no fool, he could tell what was going to come next was horrible, “The next day…the Queen took her life- I…I know that’s not true, that’s why she doesn’t stay at the palace for too long, she hides in that cabin, you think she is banished there but that’s her safe haven. Her mother would tell her how Azmer’s cabin could protect her from those who’d want to harm her, one way or another, perhaps that’s why they cannot get rid of her, though the Lurkers in her mind, the ones leaching off her soul was something even Azmer couldn’t control,” he opened the door before whispering, though he’d know San could hear him with his sharp hearing, “Her other half- well, you already told us you could stop the voices, make sure they never get to her, San.” With that he walked out, gently closing the door behind him.

San slowly got up, walking over to his cupboard, opening the cupboard he reached behind his clothes to take out a small box, from within he took out a red handkerchief, staring at the cloth his thumb stroked the small embroidered sunflower at the corner,

‘Why is it always a sunflower?’

‘Hmm…because they're warm and pretty, Poofy, they are easy to grow, they adapt well and always turn to the light, the darkness can never attract them.’

‘You know, just an; I like sunflowers, would’ve worked too.’

‘You can be real mean sometimes, you know that Poofy.’

So, that’s what she meant, she grew the flowers herself, she wanted to be surrounded by the light, she wanted to be surrounded by the warmth that was promised to her, the warmth and light that would pull her out of the claws of the Lurkers within her, and he was supposed to provide her with that help, yet, he had abandoned her- not anymore.

Three days, he had been watching her for three days and all she’d do was sleep, clean, eat and repeat. There were moments of the day when she’d stay in the washroom, in the tub a bit too long so he’d have to go up to the window, and discreetly open the windowsill with his paw, to peak in, only to find her crying in the wooden tub. At night she’d sit in front of the mirror, brushing her hair in silence until the tears would begin to slowly cascade down the apples of her cheeks, dripping onto her silk gown, to say that he had not wanted to jump into the room to pull her into his arms, or into the tub to squeeze out all the pain and agony would be a lie, yet, this time he had decided to obey orders, to obey Seonghwa. Even Hongjoong had told him to stay out of her way, to stay hidden in the shadows so he could observe her, to note any abnormalities, perhaps she had put up an act for so long while he was at her residence, though his notes so far just told him she was a sad little girl being tormented by her thoughts, thoughts that he could push away if the dumb king and his dumber advisor had not instructed him otherwise.

It was not until the seventh night, that he had decided to take matters into his own hands, to make his presence known, at least to some extent. Her nightmares had become too extreme, he had thought of intervening that night, but before he could step into her room through the open window her shrieks had him flinching, waking herself up. What horrified War Chief was how she ran towards the kitchen, slamming open a drawer to take out a knife, taking in a few deep breaths she pulled up her other hand, staring at her wrist, her eyes void of any emotion as she mumbled to herself, "There, there, you're safe now, you're not hurting anymore, you're loved."

But before the edge of the knife could touch her skin something crashed in her room, causing her to flinch, letting the knife go in the process, flinching once more when it clattered against the wooden floor. Sighing to herself she rubbed her eyes with her palms, mumbling a curse she walked back into her room, only to find the window completely open. She turned to her cupboard which was slightly ajar, oh no, was someone inside? Perhaps she should have listened to Poofy when he was lecturing her about the safety measures, she should take to ensure no one breaks in. Grabbing the nearest object, a cane- oh, her grandfather’s cane, perhaps this cabin really was alive, always protecting her, well it better protect her now. She slowly walked towards the cupboard, slamming it open and swinging the cane around like a blind woman, hitting everything she could- only to calm down after a minute and realise she had been yelling and beating nothing but her own clothes- oh. Grumbling to herself she marched over to the window, slamming it shut then locking it, stupid wind, turning around she looked at the bed, only to gasp, before her, on her bed, laid spread out his uniform, Poofy’s uniform, particularly the coat she was working on when he had gone, with the half-embroidered sunflower across the gash on the cloth.

“Poofy?” she called out, looking around before quickly opening the window again and looking out for any signs of him, only to be greeted by her usual sunflowers, nothing unusual- wait, her eyes widened at the realisation, they were not facing the sky where the sun would smile down upon them, no, her flowers were turned to face the forest, right across from her, the entire field of flowers, the sunflower heads were facing the evergreens that separated her cabin from the rest of the world. He was here, he had to be.

That night she had no nightmares, instead she had dreamt of her grandfather and mother, both having tea in this very cabin, sitting on the porch as they stared at the sunflowers under the sun. Perhaps the thoughts inside her head could sense his mighty presence too, perhaps they did fear him after all. She had woken up a bit better that morning, putting in the extra effort of bathing in scented water, picking out her prettiest outfit, and her hair brushed and styled to perfection, ironically, the cathead pin had found its place back in her hair, the bell chiming with every move.

Since that day, she would sit on the porch during the day, somehow making sure all of her time was spent outside, tending to the flowers, cleaning around with the door and windows wide open, not a care to spare, because he would protect her, he was bound to. She’d even sit outside when the sun would ease into the sky, tending to his torn coat and vest, making sure to stitch it up well. At night, before finally retiring inside the cabin, she would place a plate of warm food, looking around the sunflowers, trying to spot two pointy ears or at least a tail, but she never could, yet, every morning she’d come outside to find the plate empty, and beside it a little gift, once it was a small origami heart, the next day it was a flower crown made from her sunflowers, she was please to know how the flower had allowed him to use them, telling her how this mysterious man filled with admiration and what they called love would use nimble fingers to skilfully pluck them out. Another day it was a purple silk ribbon, one she began to wear in her hair each day.

By the next full Moon, his gift for her the next morning had her fall to her knees, a silver pendant with a sapphire heart, placed neatly in the handkerchief she had given to him. She had run across the entire field that day, to look for him, wanting to find him, to confront him, yell at him for abandoning her like that even though he had promised to never leave, yet she could not find him, not a tailor pointy ears in sight. Out of spite, however, that night she had left him no meal, and next morning she had woken up to no gift, much to her disappointment, what was his problem!? Why was it so difficult to communicate with him? And just like that the meals stopped and so did the gifts, the only things that remained were that she would no longer suffer from nightmares and she was still trying to fix his coat, only this time, she no longer did it outdoors, fine, if he wanted to play hard to get, she could give him the silent treatment too.

San sighed, sitting on top of the branch usually gave him a good view, of not only the field and cabin but the window inside as well, it was a pleasant view, a view he truly appreciated, making him thank Mother Nature, making him thank the Moon-

“You’re a real perv, aren’t you?” the deep voice had him flinch, quickly standing in battle stance only to scoff at the taller man before shoving him off the branch, watching him land on his feet, following in behind.

“It’s my view, not yours.”

“San, I don’t think watching her bathe is anyone’s view”, Mingi sighed, rubbing his neck, of course, the idiot would be doing this, he was greedy and perverse when it came to attention as well, “So,” he decided to change the topic, “How is it going? Seonghwa and Hongjoong don’t know, but Yeosang sent me to check up on you, is everything okay?”

Sighing the man shook his head, rubbing his face, “She’s giving me the cold shoulder…she knows I’m here and-”

“How?”

He turned to look at Mingi, “Look, before you say I wasn’t allowed to do so, she was…she was about to do something reckless okay and I had to stop her somehow so I made my presence known and I helped her with her nightmares, that led to another thing and…she left me food so I left her gifts, it- it's like an exchange policy you know! It’s a cat thing- I think dogs do it too and then she stopped so obviously I stopped but I guess she’s mad about that?” He finally stopped to look at the librarian who was looking at him with great disgust, “What?”

“San…women…well…I…you’re an idiot.”

“Thank you, I’m sure your books make you very smart.”

“They do, they also teach me to communicate.”

“What?”

“Talk to her, you buffoon,” he sighed, before turning around, “Talk to her before you or she does something else that’s beyond stupid, listening to Seonghwa or Hongjoong for matters of the heart is idiotic, the dragons have been blessed by the love of all, including the Sun and the Moon, they didn’t have to earn it, like us, like you…or like her.” With that the man walked into the forest, disappearing behind the dense trees, a distant howl being the only sign of his departing presence.

Sighing to herself, she hung the fixed suit onto the handle of her cupboard, admiring her work, the large sunflower on the shoulder smiling brightly at her, much like the littered, smaller embroidered sunflowers, trailing up into his breast pocket on the left side. She had originally thought of just fixing the gash, but with the time she had, her creativity had gotten the best of her, which led her to give his clothes her little touch. Not that he’d know, since he had almost disappeared once again, her only assurity of his presence was that the nightmares had stopped, so perhaps he was still around, or maybe she had just outgrown the Lurkers within her?

The sound of a loud knock caught her attention, who had come to visit her at this hour? Walking out of her room she walked towards the door, Azmer’s cane in hand as she called out, “Who is it?”

“It’s us, you leach.”

Of course, it was midmonth, the time when her father would send either her brother or brothers or sometimes the royal guards with the food rations, sometimes clothing if needed, often she’d prefer the presence of the last option, at least the guards showed her some respect.

Opening the door, she moved aside, watching them enter like this cabin was theirs to claim. Lauster walked in with all his faux glory, his robes dragging across the floor as he stared around the cabin in disgust, “Really sister, if I were you, I’d get hitched, this filth is no place for someone related to us.” Pulling back a chair he sat down cross-legged, eying the way his sister stood with the cane, “Is our useless sister now a limp?” earning a chuckle from the younger two.

“No, but if you’d like I can turn you into one,” she smiled at him, earning a scowl, then she turned to the other two, “And I’d appreciate it if you’d show some respect, Jinju, don’t you think so, Maghroor?”

The younger two looked at their brother who scoffed, before snapping his fingers, “You really think you’re getting the throne aren’t you?” Maghroor stood up, slowly walking into her room when Lauster continued, “Haven’t you heard the news sister dear, father had come up with a great proposition, you are to be wed to the son of the first king of the Lurkers, I heard Ghalazat is a great guy, all big and strong- heard he breaks girls like you easily-

“Are you out of your mind?” she asked, walking closer to him, only to be stopped by Jinju, standing tall in front of her, “You really think we’re afraid of you sister? Father cast you aside the moment you let that whore of a mother we had and Azmer fool you with their little fairy tale.” The youngest hissed, leaning closer to her, only to bounce back, his hand on his stinging cheek as he sucked in a breath, glaring at her, with blurry eyes.

“Choose your words wisely, weasel,” the androgynous tone of hers caused the second oldest to freeze in spot, to scare her was part of the plan, but this was something they had not prepared for, deep down they were unsure of what she would do if the Lurker within her won. She was their father’s favourite not only because she was the firstborn or because she was smart, but she was the only child of his who was part Lurker, and although he had tried three more times, none of his sons had inherited the gene.

“C-come now sister, we were only joking.” He laughed, pulling back his youngest brother, “No need to get upset, I’m sure Jinju would apologise if you were to ask, he never meant to call Mother a whore.” He smiled, trying to calm down his sister who was frowning at him, glaring at them.

“No, I think he was right.” The third voice intervened, as Maghroor stepped out of her room, smirking at how the colour had drained off her face, her voice switching back to its usual octave, a whisper breaking through, “No…”

“Hmmmm? What was that?” He asked, dangling the coat in the air, “Come on whore, use your words, we know you can.” He smirked before tossing the coat to the eldest of the brothers, watching the way her eyes widened, almost afraid they’d break something, “Do you know what this is, brother?”

“No,” Lauster frowned, grossed out by the embroidery, “Who does this belong to, hmmm? Sister dear?”

“Put that back,” she hissed, moving closer, only to be slapped by the youngest, with greater force than she had used, causing her to stumble against the chair and fall onto the ground, as she stared up at Lauster with blurry eyes, too focused on Poofy’s clothes to care about the pain, that is until Jinju grabbed her by the hair, tugging on her strands, causing her to let out a strangled cry, “He asked you a question, wench.”

“None of your business, I said put it back-”

“Oh…I’ve seen this crest before”, Lauster hummed, turning to Maghroor, “This coquette’s been sleeping with the enemy.” Maghroor let out a faux gasp before turning the vest around in his hold, clucking his tongue at the crest, “You’re right brother, and here we were, giving our angelic sister to a noble prince, do you think he’d want a filthy, used slu-

“That’s not true!” she yelled, struggling against the youngest, finally shoving him off as she ran to her brother, wanting nothing more than to protect her work, to protect her dignity, a part of her wish if Poofy was here, he could come save her, but the fact that his clowns had been here, tormenting her only meant she was wrong, it was never Poofy, perhaps some homeless thief or a goblin fooling with her.

Her thoughts came to a halt when a blunt force knocked the air out of her lungs, causing her to fall to her side, the throbbing pain in her head made her vision blurry, and the ringing in her ears echoed as the blurry figure of her brother crouched down to look at her, brushing away the hair from her face, before gripping her cheeks hard, “Then why do you have this, hmmm? You sneaky little liar.”

“What punishment is given to a liar I wonder?”

“Oh brother, don’t you mean a whore?”

“True, true, Lauster, Maghroor is right, she is a whore that has been lying to the king, what punishment do you think is fit for something as unworthy and useless as,” the youngest paused, only to press his foot against her back, causing her to let out a muffled sob, “our filthy eldest sister.”

“Perhaps we should cleanse her before she is given to Ghazalat, I’m sure he’d be fine with a whore that can’t speak.” Maghroor suggested, tossing the vest onto the floor, as he walked towards the hearth, using the shovel to scoop out a good amount of burnt wood, admiring the simmering amber ashes, “For all the lies she has told her kingdom.”

“Mark her with our crest.” The youngest cheered, pulling out a dagger, before reaching down to rip a portion of her gown, exposing her back, their menacing laughter echoed when she covered herself, ensuring none of her chest was exposed, only for him to press his heel onto her back, pushing her crouching form onto the floor, laughing when she let out a strangled cry, pleading them to stop, “For bringing dishonour to her kingdom.”

“Let’s add one more,” Lauster hissed as he met her glare, her tear-filled eyes boring nothing but hatred, “I’m sure her husband-to-be wouldn’t mind a blind plaything, he shouldn’t have to suffer the same agony we did, that arrogant look she gives us,” he hissed, pulling her up by her hair, knowing her arms were busy covering herself so she couldn’t put up a fight, “This look of arrogance and pride you hold, sister, is it worth it? Is it worth the guardian you whore out for in the night?” he raised his palm, waiting for the youngest to place his dagger on his open palm, waiting for his sister’s response. She had never allowed them to torment her like this, to abuse and belittle her, her arrogance and self-pride had always been far too important for her, not changing her ways even when her father had pleaded with her, standing there in the meeting of the royals, demanding to end the war, embarrassing her king, her kingdom, yet when asked to apologise she only escaped to the cabin, promising the man she’d take over once he was dead- but she couldn’t now could she? No, this plan of his was wonderful, Lauster had been told by a Xikey of the great Prince who was looking for a match, one that would help him fulfil the Yin prophecy, this way, he’d get rid of her and obtain the throne, he thanked every entity out there when his father, the king had agreed.

“Well, sister, is he worth it?” he asked, shaking her head, pulling her back to consciousness when he noticed she had almost slipped into unconsciousness, only to be met by that fierce gaze once more,

“He is…I’d rather die than betray, San.”

“So be it.” He snarled, making sure to teach her a lesson she could never forget, his figure radiating with glee at the sight of her eyes closing in defeat, her mind racing back to him, Poofy no- San.

Taglist: @edenesth @yessa-vie @the-kpop-simp @mlysalt @spooo00oky

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sp4ceboo · 26 days

Text

CHAPTER 3 ~ PAINKILLERS & PLEAS

beneath a crimson sky masterlist | ch 1 | ch 2 | ch 3 | ch 4 | ch 5

pairing: stray kids ot8 x afab!reader

genre: apocalypse au, dystopian, dark, adventure, action, thriller, fighting, eventual smut, romance

a/n: lil update for yall before i start getting busy

chapter warnings: somewhat vividly described gore, possible lazy editing on my part

chapter word count: 3.2k

Over the next week with them, you find that the boys’ unwarranted kindness makes it easier to fit yourself into the rhythm that all their hearts beat too, despite the odds.

Each morning you wake up to heat radiating either side of you, indicators of Minho’s back inches behind you and the length of Chan’s thigh pressed against yours through the double layer of your blankets. Jeongin is always the first to wake, and Hyunjin the last - no more late night tears occur with him. You wonder if Minho or Seungmin or even Chan have told him not to be alone with you, just in case.

Changbin, you find, is a little more serious on the exterior than he was when he was a child, though you’re not sure if it’s from being forced to survive or general maturing or even the time he’s spent serving in the army - he was lucky to be on leave when the Pestilence came. One thing you deem as odd is that he seems a little less vigilant of you than you’d expect him to be, but then again, nothing is exactly as you expect it to be. His eyes still hold no recognition for you. Somehow it makes the kindness in them harder to stomach.

You manage to avoid inciting Minho’s protective wrath, garner a few spare smiles from the still wary Jeongin, and crack Jisung’s shell enough to talk briefly about his music production. Best of all, you earn Felix’s friendship. His smiles feel like a trail of crumbs leading you closer and closer to a place where you might have the chance of belonging.

You’re eager to earn their trust, not only because it would give you someone to trust in return, but also because you’re beginning to realise just how close you were to driving yourself crazy when you were on your own. You want to prove you’re useful, if not to them, to yourself.

You want to know that there’s a reason, other than luck, for you to have survived thus far.

So when the opportunity presents itself, you seize it. Changbin is surveying his neat arrangement of cans and bottles in the corner, his lips moving silently as he calculates how much longer they’ll last, when he announces it: you need to go on a supply run. Chan offers to come first, you next, causing Felix to perk up and volunteer too, which leads to Seungmin saying he’ll join as well before a narrow eyed Minho can.

Now, you stand just outside the lab, all your masks pulled up over your faces. You’ve got an empty rucksack over your shoulder and the knife that Minho handed to you, along with a threatening look, stowed safely in your pocket. Absently, you fiddle with the rucksack’s straps, craning your neck to look up at the disturbing, crimson sky.

“We could clear out the convenience store I met you guys at,” you suggest when Changbin doesn’t immediately lead you in a particular direction. “Unless you had anywhere else in mind,” you add hastily.

“The petrol that leaked will all be used up,” Chan points out. “We won’t have that safety measure.”

“It’s close, though,” Seungmin replies, agreeing with you, to your surprise. “We won’t be long.”

“Changbin?” Felix asks.

He shrugs. “I’m the only one who hasn’t been there. You tell me.”

All four of you look over at Chan, who makes a face and gestures for you to lead the way. It doesn’t take long for you to get to the petrol station, just like the first time. You still have to skirt your way around the dead body twenty metres from the lab, you still have to turn the corner round the Korean BBQ shop.

As you do, your eyes widen, because the place looks almost unrecognisable. The electronic sign that would have displayed the petrol prices has been almost fully melted from the fire, which must have caught one of the other pumps so suddenly it exploded - the whole shop front is blackened, the glass blown in. Ironically, it looks like something from a zombie movie.

“Guess I need to be sent to jail for arson,” you mutter.

“Wait, you did this?” Changbin asks.

Felix huffs. “I told you I wasn’t exaggerating.”

You feel heat rising up your neck and shove open the door, careful as you step over the shards of glass littered all over the scorched linoleum floor. There’s several small scuff marks on the floor, too small to be human footprints. Idly, you wonder if any of the feral dogs have learnt to open tin cans as well as survive without their owners.

Cold wind gusts in through the broken door, whistling between the high shelves and ruffling Chan’s hair. Involuntarily, you shiver. It’s strange to see a place that you’d visited so many times reduced to this state: food on the lower shelves has been knocked down, plastic bags ripped open, the contents half eaten and rotting, no doubt the doing of wild animals. A crow flaps by and settles on one of the registers, eyeing you and snapping a beak stained with a type of red you don’t want to think about.

“Grab whatever you can,” Chan instructs once he’s stepped in after Seungmin. “Changbin and I will get the water.”

You nod, wincing as glass crunches beneath your shoes and following Felix and Seungmin deeper into the store, the latter peeling off after a while to pile some tinned vegetables into his bag, the former turning to talk to you.

“Shall we try in the back?” He asks. “When I came through here to look for an exit, it looked like they had a lot of food in storage.”

“Sure,” you answer, pushing open the already ajar door, squinting against the darkness within.

You make it several steps in before the stench hits you. There’s no doubt that something or someone has died in here; the smell of rotting flesh hits you like a punch in the face, and you clap a hand over your face while beside you, Felix retches. The next thing you notice is the trail of blood, as if a body was dragged in here from somewhere else in the store, and your heart plunges.

How could you be so stupid? How could you be so distracted by the burns and glass on the floor and gathering food that you didn’t see the streaks of dried blood, rusty on the ground beneath your feet?

Then comes a jingle, and you catch a quick flash of silver: light, reflected off something fixed to a shadow on the floor, and as your eyes begin to adjust, you realise with a jolt what it is. A metal tag, dangling from what must have once been a lovely blue collar that is now stained almost black with dirt and what you’re beginning to realise is blood. A lot of fucking blood.

The shadow attached to the collar growls.

Felix makes a choked sound, and the wind howls in and pushes the door open more, further illuminating the room and revealing what exactly the dog was feeding on - one of the store workers, long dead from what must have been the illness. The blood staining its muzzle is nothing like the old smears on the floor, not brown but the startling red of the sky.

You curse under your breath as several more growls sound, more dogs appearing from behind the storeroom shelves. The two of you won’t stand a chance fighting against them. These are the dogs that survived without their owners, who probably weren’t even trained properly, who would definitely prefer fresh, still warm meat to the rotting human they dragged into their new home.

Backing away, you fumble for the knife in your pocket. The first dog growls, and you can see the muscles in its haunches bunching, as it prepares to launch itself at you. You are completely and utterly screwed.

Adrenaline rockets through you. A stupid, entirely unhelpful thought shoots through your head: this is what your ancestors felt like before they tamed the wolf. Though not exactly - the one difference is that these dogs are not wild and they don’t have the instincts of a wolf to capably hunt for themselves, which means they’re hungry and you’re food.

Lurching to the side, you scrabble for anything on the shelf to your right, knocking over half the cans with a huge clatter, and launch the first thing your fingers come in contact with at the dog, just the second before it leaps.

The can of cat food glances off its shoulder but hits hard enough that your throat thankfully doesn’t get torn out.

Whirling around, as fast as you can in the seconds remaining before the dog recovers and attacks again, you grab Felix by the arm and shunt him as hard as you can towards the door. He stumbles, cursing, but makes it through and you sprint for the door too.

Felix’s eyes widen. You turn just in time, almost overbalancing in your haste, blindly stabbing out with your knife.

Fortunately, your blade hits home, and you narrowly miss probably losing a leg.

Less fortunately, your calf gets shredded into ribbons.

Agony tears through you, almost brings you to your knees, but your momentum sends you forward, out of the storeroom. Swearing colourfully, Felix catches you and kicks the door shut behind you, and it shakes with the impact of what must be the other dogs hurling themselves against it.

Seungmin hurtles around the corner, closely followed by Changbin and Chan. You grit your teeth, your eyes watery, fighting back the scream that builds in your throat, knowing your nails are biting into Felix’s arms and hurting him but unable to stop yourself. Changbin takes one look at the blood streaming down your leg and strides over, easing you out of Felix’s hold and hooking an arm around your waist so he can keep you upright.

“We need to get out of here,” you gasp. “I don’t know if the door will hold.”

“What happened?” Seungmin demands.

“She saved my life,” Felix replies. “I’ll explain later. Let’s go.”

You attempt to take a step forward, still clutching Changbin’s arm for support, and realise that it’s not such a great idea at all when spots fizzle to life right before your eyes, pain shooting through your leg as if someone’s replaced your shin bone with a hot poker. A stifled sound rips itself from you as you straighten, trying to fight back the wave of nausea that fills you when you glance down.

Blood runs down your legs and collects in your shoe, soaking your sock. The wound is messy, all torn flesh mixed in with shredded cloth, and you can see the puncture marks from the dog’s teeth, neat circles that tear away in long gashes. You sag against Changbin.

“I’ll carry you.” He phrases it like a suggestion, but you get the feeling he’d do it even if you refused.

Mutely, you nod. You’re half certain you’ve gone into shock.

He picks you up with ease, careful not to jostle you as he holds you with one arm under your legs and the other at your back. You tip your head to rest against his shoulder, trying to focus on the firm feel of his chest against your side in a failing attempt to ignore the blaring, insistent pain in your leg.

The brisk pace that Seungmin sets as he walks ahead with Chan while Felix explains means that to keep up, Changbin can’t hold you steady enough to completely avoid jarring your leg; you can’t remember when, but he’s tied a tourniquet for you from his shirt sleeve, tight enough that pulses rather than an onslaught of pain come throbbing down your leg with each step he takes. The distance from the store to the lab stretches far longer than it was on the way there.

“I’ve decided to become a cat person,” Changbin mutters. “Even though I’m allergic.”

You manage a strained laugh, knowing he’s trying to distract you. You already know he’s allergic. When he came over to your house after school, he’d always insist on petting your cat, even when his eyes and nose streamed.

Changbin laughs too, but it’s nothing like his real laugh, just a hollow sound that might have somewhat put you at ease if you didn’t know he was faking it. He twists sideways so he doesn’t bash your feet against the door frame into the lab. Sweat begins to bead on your forehead.

Looking worried, Felix’s face appears beside you, and he pulls off his mask, grabbing your hand tightly and squeezing it, unable to hide the concern roiling in his eyes despite the wavering smile he gives you. His face has paled a little, making his freckles stand out starkly, like brown constellations across a honey sky. They fade as your eyes go blurry.

“I’m sorry I didn’t move sooner,” he says, gnawing at his lip. “If you hadn’t had to push me out the door, you might have gotten out before the dog jumped.”

You force your eyes to focus on him. Over his shoulder, there’s a commotion as Seungmin and Chan enter the lab, no doubt relaying the story. “It’s okay, Felix. I froze up too. Seeing the body… it was awful.”

“Yeah. Yeah it was,” he nods. “Thank you.”

Hyunjin rushes over, his face draining of colour when he sees you. “Oh, shit.”

The others crowd around too, before Changbin orders them away and helps you sit down. Wordless, Minho kneels beside you, a muscle in his jaw feathering as he cuts away the rest of your ruined trouser leg, peeling off the scraps of blood soaked fabric from where they stick to your skin with laser focus. You think you glimpse a hint of concern in his eyes, but the pain has made you dizzy.

Everyone else steers clear, though Felix and Hyunjin send you worried looks, and Chan talks in a low voice with Seungmin and Jeongin. You get the impression that an injury as serious as yours has happened before, and they know to leave Minho alone as he works to clean your leg and bandage it, keeping Changbin’s tourniquet in place.

He doesn’t speak, either to put you at ease or to tell you how bad it is, so you take it as a good sign. Hiding your face in the crook of your elbow, you lie back and grit your teeth. You don’t want to look at your calf. You don’t want to know the damage.

Eventually, he sits back on his heels and cleans his hands on one of the less soiled wet wipes he must have been using to sanitise your calf. Getting up without a word, he turns and searches the rucksacks until he finds what he’s looking for, taking out a few pill packets and popping out two from each before returning to your side and holding them out to you with a freshly opened bottle of water.

“Painkillers,” he informs you. “Probably enough to knock you out for a bit, once they kick in. And antibiotics, since dog bites get infected a lot. Hopefully they’ll work if it transmitted the Pestilence, too.”

He watches you choke them down.

You don’t point out that if antibiotics worked on Pestilence, a lot more people would be alive right now.

Minho bundles up a spare blanket and eases it under your leg, his voice curt. “Keep it elevated. Try not to move too much.”

You blink as he walks off. He doesn’t really have anywhere to walk off to, so he just inserts himself between Jisung and Jeongin, who are sorting through the supplies he, Chan and Changbin managed to grab before you all left, his jaw still clenched.

Chan sits down beside you, a dark expression on his face as he takes in Minho’s handiwork, fiddling with his masks before he stills his hands, shoves the masks into his pocket, and gives you a hard look. You get the feeling that you’re about to be reprimanded, and you don’t really like the idea, but you can’t exactly get up and evade him.

“What you did was stupid.”

Yup, there it is.

“But it was also brave,” he adds, surprising you.

“There’s a fine line between brave and stupid,” you reply dryly.

He huffs a laugh. “That’s true, but I just wanted to thank you. It’s a pretty big deal to get bitten by a dog for some guys you didn’t know a week ago.”

You look at him. Belatedly, you realised that this - Chan saying that he values what you did - is him extending the olive branch. Before, you could tell he was still unsure about you, but there’s a certainty that sparkles in his eyes now, a confidence that fills you with a burst of hope that catches you off guard with its suddenness. There’s a chance that you might have caught the disease and that you might spread it to the others if you have, but he’s willing to take that risk because you are someone he wants to keep around, someone he knows he can trust with his life and with his friends’ lives.

You can feel the painkillers beginning to work, your eyelids drooping and the acute pain of the dog bite being washed away by numbness, but they don’t hold back the startling rush of clarity that clears your head: you didn’t hesitate this time, and you won’t hesitate the next.

“I’d do it again,” you tell Chan, so softly he has to lean forward to hear.

A strange look passes over his face. He gets up but pauses for a moment. “Let’s hope you won’t have to.”

You close your eyes so you don’t have to see him walk away. Your head is fuzzy, and you can no longer feel the sharpness in your calf - it’s turned into a dull ache, weak enough that you could forget it’s there. You don’t want to forget it’s there.

There’s a shuffling sound beside you and you crack your eyes open again. Felix is there, looking like an angel with his blonde hair and freckles and sweet, worried face. Reaching forward, he takes your hand again but says nothing, and you cling to him, suddenly irrationally afraid that they’re going to leave you while you’re sleeping. You try to focus on his face in an attempt to fend off the tidal waves of fatigue crashing over you.

“Felix,” you whisper. “What if I get the disease?”

He squeezes your hand, hard enough for you to wince, but you don’t let go, needing to hear what he says before you give in to sleep.

“You won’t,” he says.

It sounds more like a plea than a promise.

taglist: @estella-novella@0bticeo@lixies-favorite-cookie@smashleywow@realrintaro @extremechaoswarning @4l17h4 @hyunjinsjeans @insufferablyunbearable @lovemepie67 @needsumcomfypillowstosleep @loumin908 (let me know if you want to be added)

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3liza · 1 year

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i get asked a lot if certain breast sizes or shapes are "normal" and let me tell you right now, the answer is basically always "yes"!

we only see one shape of breasts on tv (think C-D cup "HBO titties") and maybe two or three types in porn if you see porn, and maybe 3-4 types in contemporary and historical art. and this sucks because it makes everyone else feel like their boobs are weird. they're probably not weird.

because breasts are made mostly of fat, which is squishy and only partially influenced by muscle and skeletal attachments, they can be basically any size or shape, and they CHANGE more or less constantly throughout your life. they are sensitive to hormonal, environmental, body compositional and pressure-based influences. they will continue to change size and shape until you die. i have a mild collagen disorder which makes me stretchier than other people in some ways and my breasts will change shape visibly if i don't wear a bra for a day. some people's breasts are so dense they wouldnt move at all even if you kept them squished or pulled for many hours at a time. human fat and skin is SO malleable and variable and it's a big reason we're such an interesting-looking species.

this link is a little website with some pictures of SOME different shapes of breasts, and for as varied as it is, it's actually still very limited in scope. it's focused on helping people find bras that fit but you can ignore that part if you want and just get an idea of some different shapes boobs can be, in a non-porn and non-medical context. they can be even more shapes than this. this gallery is intentionally in b&w and has been contrast-balanced to make everyone about the same color but different breast shapes are strongly genetic and will pop up in different locales and lineages. your boobs will often resemble those of your relatives (but not always).

it takes a long time for breasts to reach their "adult" shape, and it happens closer to about age 25-27 for many people than 18-20. a lot of medical literature will repeat the claim that women are "physically mature" by the age of 15-18, and this just isn't really true. if you are on HRT, please keep in mind that the average cis woman can start experiencing hormonal puberty when she's 9-12, and major changes can keep occurring until she's 25 or older. I'm AFAB, and my boobs went through a final growth change when i was 27! and i started the first stages of puberty (way before my first period, which is called "menarche" [men-ARK-ee]) when i was about 9. that's not outside the bounds of normalcy at all, average age of first period is about 12.5 years, and puberty itself starts a few years before that.

some of the later Tanner stages are related to gravity as well as fat accumulation, and sometimes they require a certain period of time to "settle" the very high, pointy puberty breasts down into more adult breast shapes. this takes time. the timelines doctors give HRT patients about breast growth are really weird to me as someone who grew breasts myself. sometimes i see people on HRT get worried about their breast growth not being big enough or adult enough after only a couple years, when the average cis woman's breasts take much longer than that (remember: started age 9, finished age 27!!) to mature and settle, and i just want people to not worry too much. i post about this regularly because i want people to see it. I've heard from many trans women that their actual doctors told them that they would get most or all of their breast growth within 2-3 years. that's not true for everyone, possibly for most people.

and by the way, breasts are almost never perfectly symmetrical. they are sisters, not twins. most people have one breast that's visibly larger if you look closely, and often even if you don't look closely. many people have one breast that's even a cup size larger, or more. some people only grow one breast at all, and don't have fat tissue on the other side. sometimes you start with mostly-matched boobs but they become different over time. all these situations are "normal", in that they occur to many many people and are almost never related to health problems or functional concerns.

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geekgirles · 5 months

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Since all I ask for now is that Amalia gets to call the Osamodas out on their hypocrisy and betrayal, I think it's important to point out Armand never wanted Aurora to rule.

I say this in light of her father claiming she is the rightful heir to the throne when we all know she's actually not.

And I don't just mean her claim on the throne isn't legitimate because a) she's not even a Sadida, or b) she was Armand's Osamodas wife, not even his daughter, which would give her claim some credibility, but because it's clear to see she was never meant to truly be the Sadidas' queen, not even their regent.

I know this all sounds contradictory with the fact that, by virtue of marrying Armand, the Crown Prince, she eventually became his queen, but the thing is, it's plain to see not even Armand wanted her to rule the kingdom on her own, which is what her family is trying to accomplish—although there's also a very high chance they intend to rule through her, rather than let her make her own decisions.

As @vinillain and I have discussed through reblogs, it seems to be implied Aurora was never really meant to rule: not only wasn't she a candidate for becoming her own people's queen, but it is clear to see she was only meant to be given an important position in court but with none of the responsibilities expected from such duty.

This can be seen in her role in seasons 3 and 4; despite being Armand's wife and loving him, she never really acted like a true queen. In season 3 she acted conniving and pretended to have Amalia and the kingdom's best interests in mind when, deep down, all she cared about was strengthening her and her family's power over Sadida politics. And in season 4 she remained passive, aloof, and emotionless throughout. At no point was she shown to feel genuine concern for her husband's people even in the face of an imminent threat.

The most active role she's taken ever since she debuted was playing matchmaker for an unwilling Amalia and trying to find more about the Eliaculus.

From what we've seen so far it's easy to conclude she was always meant to be Armand's consort, but never his actual partner. She was essentially sent to the Sadidas to act as their king's arm candy. Whatever power gap was between them, she never made any efforts to breach it and show her worth.

For all she and her family look down on Amalia, Aurora herself never matured enough to become a suitable ruler, whereas Amalia eventually grew into her mother's mantle; even when his father was still alive, she had already become Queen of the Sadidas.

And I think despite his love for her, Armand knew this. He knew she could never rule the kingdom without him; knew she never should rule his kingdom without him.

Despite his many flaws and not-so-stellar moments, Armand was raised to be king. He was never stupid. He knew the inner workings of politics in and out and how to navigate them.

This is apparent in his interactions with the Osamodas King.

While he maintained a cool head throughout, it was clear to see Armand saw right through his father-in-law's ill-veiled condescension towards his people and his desire to control his kingdom. Which is why I wouldn't be surprised if he had never truly trusted Aurora despite coming to love her.

Because of everything his people had gone through, Armand was perfectly aware his kingdom was practically of no importance to the other races, for they never sent their support when they needed it most. So it wouldn't be far-fetched to assume Armand knew all along the Osamodas' intentions behind marrying him to Aurora went beyond simply providing him with a queen.

Which is why I believe he never intended to let Aurora become regent if he was no longer around.

But my greatest evidence are his last words to Amalia as he was about to sacrifice himself and he put her to safety. I don't have the screenshots for it (so I'd appreciate if anyone could provide them), but he essentially told Amalia she would be their next queen.

That's it. That's all he said. He never said, "Please, help Aurora out", or "You two are co-rulers now", or even "You have my permission to fuck Yugo senseless". He told his sister it was up to her to rule their people, not his wife.

Meaning, between her being the last remaining Sheran Sharm, the second in line when her brother was still alive, and Armand's words, Amalia is the kingdom's rightful ruler, not Aurora. It was never Aurora.

#wakfu #wakfu season 4 #wakfu webtoon #wakfu spoilers #wakfu analysis #wakfu the great wave #wakfu la grande vague #armand sheran sharm #amalia sheran sharm #yugo the eliatrope #aurora

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blouisparadise · 9 months

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Upon request, today we have the fourth part of our rec list of bottom Louis fics where Louis and Harry are friends who become lovers. If you'd like to check out the previous rec lists, you can find part one here, part two here, and part three here. If you enjoy our rec lists, please be sure to like and reblog this post to help spread the word.

Happy reading!

1) Truth Or Drink | Explicit | 5,548 words

Harry isn’t nervous. Of course he isn’t. He has done much more intimidating things than this. He has had sex with at least 100 men, and a few women along the way, while being filmed and watched by another 20 pairs of eyes. But for some reason the thought of doing this sounds a hundred times worse. He can feel his insides churning and sweat is starting to form on his palms. Sure, sex is Harry’s job and it has been for as long as he can remember. He doesn’t mind having a crowd of people watching him anymore, and everything is always quite professional. At the beginning things might have been a bit challenging but now it’s almost second nature. This, though, is more distressing than anything he has ever done before.

2) Incalescent | Explicit | 5,649 words

The onset of heat is something Louis still hasn’t learned to recognize.

3) You Step Where Words Are Written, Delicate Under Your Feet | Mature | 6,495 words

Prompt 513: A fic where Louis gives Harry a footjob over his pants while they're watching TV and Harry finds out he has a thing for Louis' feet.

4) Kiss It Better | Mature | 8,080 words

Harry shakes his head with a light laugh and leans down to kiss him again which Louis happily accepts even if he is a little confused by the reaction. "Baby, not a night has gone by that I haven't thought about you in my bed, naked, and begging for my cock." Blinking up at him with wide eyes, Louis opens his mouth to say something but nothing comes out. While they did flirt a lot over the last few weeks, Harry had never said anything like that. It shocks him as much as it turns him on. "News to me." "I won't lie and say I like random hookups or casual sex, but to me this isn't what that is." Louis swallows thickly, unsure of what to say to that but once again Harry gives him an out. "So, If you want we can stay up here and I can show you all the things I've thought about doing to you." Another kiss, quick and sweet. "Or, we can go back downstairs and we'll dance all night."

5) To Love Without Reason | Explicit | 8,854 words

“Come on in, soldier,” Louis pats Harry’s chest and walks away, leaving Harry to follow behind. Harry stands in the living room, looking around at Louis’ dwelling. Family pictures placed high on a shelf, certificates of Louis’ practice, and other trinkets that make Harry entirely too nostalgic. “I have to warn you,” Louis says as he puts the kettle on, the water droplets from his hair trickling down the golden skin of his back. “The door jams if you lock it so you'll have to leave it ajar.” Harry acknowledges with a soft hum, too entranced by Louis’ glistening skin to form a coherent reply.

6) I Would Wait Forever (And Ever) | Not Rated | 10,018 words

Louis is brave but has the worst timing in the world, Harry doesn't want to lose his best friend and they just don't communicate enough.

7) If I Saw You Every Day Forever | Mature | 10,685 words

There really should be a statute on the number of dates one can go to because how much longer does Louis have to suffer through this? A modern AU in which Louis might have accidentally signed up for something he probably shouldn't.

8) Wait Until You're Sure | Explicit | 13,042 words

Prompt 465: Louis and Harry are best friends who made a pact. If neither of them has found love by the time they’re 30, then they’ll get married. It was all laughter and fun until Harry realizes they’re celebrating his 30th birthday and in a few months, Louis is gonna be 30 too. So, he struggles to find someone for Louis to avoid being together, but Louis just keeps rejecting all men Harry introduces to him (because he has feeling for him, of course), which really upsets Harry. They argue about that and Louis says something like “wow, it’s that bad to be with me?,” accepting that Harry simply doesn’t feel the same. Louis moves for a couple of months with another friend and Harry has all this time to understand his feelings, realizing that he loves Louis too and wants to be with him. But when he goes to tell him, Louis is already seeing someone else. So what’s Harry gonna do to get Louis back?

9) Candle Wax & Polaroids On The Hardwood Floor | Explicit | 13,082 words

Prompt 463: Clumsy modern witch Louis AU where he accidentally gives his roommate Harry a love potion and he has a crisis because he thinks he will get in trouble with the law for technically poisoning someone and Harry’s heart eyes aren’t helping.

10) Blackberries And Cherries | Explicit | 13,894 words

Louis is a witch and Harry is his human friend. When Harry needs help focusing on his schoolwork, the obvious solution is to ask Louis for a potion. You could say things don’t go quite right.

11) Bend The Rules | Explicit | 16,823 words

Prompt 588: Lous hires a ‘ghost cooking’ service because his family is worried he’s not eating well and he wants to impress them by showing them what an amazing cook he’s become. The service includes sending a discreet cook to your house and have them get everything ready so that you only serve and take the credit. Problem is, his sisters (can be OCs if that’s more comfortable) get to his flat earlier than planned and the actual cook has to hide in the master bathroom for hours. Louis is mortified. The cook is amused and helps him to clean and well. Gives him a thorough service. Feel free to pick your fave as the cook.

12) Swap Me For Your Shadow | Explicit | 16,829 words

If Louis thought being in love with his best friend was a knife that continually twisted into his heart before, it was nothing compared to when Harry started to go around talking about having fallen for someone else. A 5+1 fic; 5 times Louis has to listen to Harry’s vague confessions of love for his ‘omega friend’ and the 1 time Louis snaps and confesses his love for Harry.

13) Sometimes A Fantasy | Explicit | 18,654 words

There’s nothing to complain about when Harry’s walking around their flat with his cock swinging about, nothing to complain about when Harry’s pressing himself up against Louis’ naked backside when he’s reaching for a mug in their cupboards, and nothing to complain about when Harry’s got his hand firm on Louis’ arse when they’re cuddling on the couch. So, in reality, it’s really fucking weird, and Louis knows that. But that doesn’t mean he doesn’t like it.

14) Lonely Shadow Dancers | Explicit |20,838 words

“Mm,” Harry’s arms circle him, and their fumbling somehow turns into a cuddle session, “still can’t believe we’re here together.” Growing up with someone, one tends to become used to another. Used to the mannerisms and personality of them. Used to the changes and the things that stay the same. Harry hit puberty and sprung up into this cheeky curly flirt of an alpha and Louis still hasn’t found the time to get used to it. His stomach flutters and he bites back a stupid smile and wonders if he ever will.

15) The Mess We Created | Explicit | 21,099 words

An innocent one night stand changed into something more than that.

16) Not Safe For Work | Explicit | 23,295 words

I want to drown myself in Harry’s scent until I smell like him. “I think I'm open to trying that too. Sounds very good.” Louis shakes his head a little to get out of the Harry’s-scent-spiral. “Huh?” “The dish your finger's pointing at. I thought that might be what you’re choosing?” “Oh. Yeah.”

17) Sweet Like Honey | Explicit | 33,117 words

Weeks of flat shopping with their limited budget with Louis as a librarian aid and Harry as a barista and arguments about whether a balcony or extended bathroom suite were more important (Harry wanted to be able to feel the crisp night’s air and watch the sun set and Louis just wanted to take long bubble baths) led to them stumbling across the perfect fit. A small flat only ten minutes from campus with a cramped but lovely balcony and an included bath. It’s affordable too… well, sort of. But they always manage. Louis picks up more shifts as an aid, adapting a habit of bringing his Psych textbooks and homework with him to finish in between duties, and later his script so he can quietly practice lines with little distraction. Harry also increases his number of shifts at the cafe and valiantly endures the nasty customers who for some reason flock to their establishment like moths to a flame. For a while, it’s enough.

18) Once Burnt, Twice Shy | Explicit | 52,644 words

Louis and Harry are polar opposites in every way. Where Louis is a bestselling author from the city, Harry is a small-town firefighter who's never left his home. Where Louis is spontaneous and spirited, Harry is introverted and calm, never straying from routine. When an ill-fated accident and an exceptionally intelligent tabby bring them together, they are forced to confront their pasts and forge a better beginning for themselves. Will sparks fly, or will it all go up in flames?

19) Gallery Of Us | Explicit | 55,778 words

Harry knew what he was doing in life, everything laid out in black-and-white, each day pleasantly predictable. Cue lively art student, Louis, trying to find his place. An almost insufferably happy person who sometimes forgets to hide the way they feel meets the person who is diligent enough to notice and determined to make a difference.

20) If You’re Out There (I’ll Find You Somehow) | Explicit | 55,916 words

Harry looks so intensely into Louis’ eyes it’s as though he’s reaching in and touching his very soul. “I never thought… I never… I’ve been searching for so long, Louis, but I never gave up. I couldn’t stop, wouldn’t stop trying,” Harry says, bottom lip trembling as he strokes the backs of Louis’ knuckles. “I just knew that if you were out there, I’d find you somehow.”

21) It’s Golden, Like Daylight | Explicit | 61,496 words

"I actually think you might be onto something.” Harry’s eyes widened. “You mean…” Louis nodded. “As crazy and insane as this, this might just solve both of our problems.” “Are you saying you’re in?” Harry asked. “I’m in.”

22) Derail The Mind Of Me | Explicit | 77,323 words

Beside the photograph of a gaunt, pale face spattered with blood and lips torn into a Glasgow smile was a bloodied object, crumpled and stained almost to the point of unrecognition. Another photo showed the object shoved into the woman’s mouth. While Harry leaned forward to get a closer look, Louis scrunched up his nose and purposefully kept his gaze locked on his computer screen, refusing to so much as glance at the gruesome images the rest of the team examined. “What is that?” Zayn frowned. “Is that a tarot card?”

23) Ghost Note Symphony | Explicit | 96,426 words

Louis is on tour when he first hears about it. It’s all over the news – Harry Styles Attacked By Fan runs in headlines for days. It’s not even just the gossip rags, either. Actual journalists are covering the story. It would have been impossible to avoid hearing about it. Technically, Oli is the one who tells Louis about it, but it’s not exactly being covered up. Harry doesn’t answer Louis’ text asking if he’s alright, but that’s not really surprising. They haven’t spoken for months, and it’s been a lot longer than that since they’ve had a real conversation. The sting of the text going unanswered is still there, less painful than it might have been a few years ago. It’s not that it’s easy to forget about, exactly. Louis has a whole life outside of One Direction now, though. So Louis goes on with his life, figuring that if Harry was seriously hurt he would have heard about it by now. He might currently be in the same country as Harry, but being on opposite sides of it puts enough distance between them that putting it in the back of his mind is easy. There’s nothing Louis could do, even if he thought Harry might want him to. That’s why everything that happens next comes as a complete shock to him.

24) Our Endless Numbered Days | Explicit | 120,815 words

“Harry?” whispered Louis, his mouth dry, his nose pressing against the other’s warm skin. “Mh?” Harry’s humming was gentle, his fingers lightly caressing the younger boy’s arm, his chest steadily rising and falling beneath Louis’ cheek. A couple of seconds passed, and Louis looked up at him in the darkness of the cave, barely able to make out the expression on his face. When he tried to inhale deeply, his breath hitched. He struggled to find the words to tell Harry what he was thinking about. Another couple of seconds passed, and Louis listened to the reassuring beating of the prince’s heart beneath his cheek. He couldn’t. “Nothing,” he whispered, his voice weak. I think you’re half of my soul.

25) Love Will Tear Us Apart | Mature | 204,151 words

It was only meant to be a one night thing, but when the country goes into lockdown, Louis Tomlinson finds himself stuck in windsor castle, in company of his royal fucking highness, Harry, the prince of England.

Check out our other fic rec lists by category here and by title here.

#bottom louis #top harry #larry #fic recs #blp #blp fic recs #friends to lovers

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fanfictionismyaddiction · 5 days

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Falling Into Place

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 / Part 6 / Part 7 / Part 8 / Part 9 / Part 10

Word count: 816

Pairning: Aaron Hotchner x Agent!reader

Summary: Y/n navigates her new role at the BAU while witnessing a softer side of her boss

______________________________________________________________

The day carried on with a surprising quietness. You found yourself glancing toward Hotch’s office more than once, a little nervous about how Ava was holding up. But every time you checked, she was lying peacefully on the couch, occasionally curling up with the small blanket you had brought from home. A small part of you couldn't help but feel touched by Hotch's gesture—letting your daughter rest in his space.

As you sat back at your desk, trying to focus on the case in front of you, Spencer Reid sidled up to you, a soft smile on his face. "So, you have a daughter?" His tone was friendly but curious.

You nodded, smiling back. "I do. Ava. She’s four, but you wouldn’t know it from how mature she can be." There was pride in your voice, despite the lingering exhaustion that came from single motherhood. "She’s smart, just like her uncle Spencer," you added, teasing him lightly.

Reid blushed, ducking his head. “I’m sure she is.”

"She's lucky to have you as a mom," JJ chimed in, leaning on the edge of her desk. "And don’t worry about her being here. We’ve all had to bring our kids in at some point."

A weight lifted slightly from your shoulders at JJ’s reassurance. The team didn’t seem to mind, and that was a relief. But you couldn’t stop wondering what Hotch really thought. Despite his unexpectedly kind gesture, his earlier coldness still hung in the back of your mind.

Later, as the afternoon wore on, you noticed Hotch making his way toward his office. You braced yourself, expecting him to maybe check on Ava and then return to his usual aloof self. Instead, he paused outside the door, glancing at you briefly.

"I was just going to check on your daughter," he said, as though reading your thoughts. His voice was neutral, but something about the way he said it felt… warmer. It was subtle, but you could hear it.

"Thank you," you replied softly, watching as he disappeared into the office.

A few minutes passed, and then you saw Hotch stepping back into the bullpen, holding Ava in his arms. Your heart skipped a beat—seeing the stern, serious Aaron Hotchner cradling your little girl was enough to send your mind spinning. Ava’s large brown eyes were half-open, her cheek pressed against his shoulder, and Hotch’s expression had softened considerably.

“She woke up,” Hotch said quietly as he approached your desk. “She’s still not feeling great, but I think she just wanted to see you.”

You quickly stood, gently taking Ava from him. She clung to you, her little arms wrapping around your neck.

"Thanks," you murmured, meeting his gaze.

Hotch nodded, his eyes lingering on you and Ava for a moment longer. “If you need to leave early, go ahead. We’ll manage.”

You were caught off guard. The gruff, seemingly unfeeling Hotchner was showing understanding, maybe even concern. It made you see him in a new light—one that you hadn't expected.

"I’ll be fine," you replied, bouncing Ava gently as she rested her head against your shoulder. "But... thank you."

Before Hotch could respond, Rossi strolled by, a knowing smirk on his face. “I see we have a future profiler in training here,” he teased, glancing at Ava.

Hotch’s lips twitched, and you swore you saw the faintest trace of a smile.

“She certainly has the eyes for it,” Hotch added, surprising you further. His words were gentle, almost affectionate, as he looked at your daughter.

Later, as the day came to a close, and the team began packing up, you were still struck by how different Hotch had been with Ava. He wasn’t the cold, distant boss you had initially pegged him for. And though he still carried that air of authority, there was something underneath—a warmth you hadn’t expected.

As you prepared to leave, Ava clinging to your side, Hotch approached you one last time.

"If you ever need help with her, don’t hesitate to ask," he said, his voice lower than usual. There was something about the way he looked at you—a subtle shift in the way he saw you now, perhaps not just as an agent, but as a mother.

For the first time since joining the BAU, you felt a connection with him. Maybe he wasn’t just the rigid boss who didn’t like you. Maybe there was more to him than the stoic exterior. And maybe, just maybe, you could trust him with more than just your work.

"Thank you, Aaron," you replied softly, using his first name for the first time.

He nodded, his eyes flicking down to Ava once more before turning away. You watched him go, feeling a strange mix of emotions bubbling inside you. Maybe this transfer wasn’t just about a change of scenery. Maybe it was the beginning of something more—for both you and your daughter.

#fanfiction #fanfic #reader insert #aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotchner #aaron hotch x reader #aaron hotch hotchner #aaron hotch fanfiction #aaron hotch imagine #bau team #jack hotchner #derek morgan #spencer reid #emily prentiss #penelope garcia #david rossi #jennifer jareau

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bijoutarot · 1 year

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Your Lover’s Hidden Feelings 🌹

Pick An Image

Image 1

“I will wait for a sign from you”

A past lover is thinking about all the ways they should have appreciated you, cared for you, and listened to your needs. They feel that you have had enough of the games and the lies. Deep down inside if they were to say the right things to you you would be unsure how to proceed. You kind of want to talk about the matter without actually being the one to reach out. You feel like they should be the one saying something because they are the one who messed things up in the first place. This person is not only a former lover but a friend as well. Many of you started out as a friendship and then started hooking up. Now they feel like they lost both.

Image 2

“I know I messed everything up”

“You and I were too young”

Your lover is from a former relationship. This person might have been your high school sweetheart or someone that you dated in your teens. Unfortunately things did not work out between you two because they were still very immature. You were more mature than they were even though you guys were the same age when you met. Instead of letting you know the truth about the love triangle you found out in a harsh way. This broke your heart. They still feel terrible to this day because they know you have a good heart. This person regret their decisions but they blame it on their age. You might find this to be unacceptable because they are not taking accountability for their actions. They always had a problem with that. They always made excuses instead of being direct. You are now at a point in your life where you have guarded your freedom that comes with being single. You are abundant and not in a hurry to lock in with someone right away.

Image 3

“I am becoming a better person”

“I love you”

Your person is currently working a lot of long hours. They want to earn more money so they can give you the life you deserve. They see you as someone very precious and deserving of all the finer things in life. They have a business plan that will require a lot of hard work. You have not been seeming them as much as you like to but it is because they want to give you something special. They are saving money to make a big purchase. I see that they are working overtime and going in on their days that they normally be off. This is their season to grind while you will find more time relaxing. This person loves you so much it is clear they are willing to go the extra mile to impress you.

Image 4

“You were the best thing in my life”

Image 4, you have a past person that is running back to you. They miss you so much but they are afraid to contact you.they are longing to hear your voice, smell your signature fragrance, hold you in the middle of the night, and taste your cooking again. They love the way you prepare food, from the presentation down to the flavors and recipes. Life has been very sad without you. Their house is no longer a home since you blocked them. They miss having you in their environment. They do not look forward to coming home to an empty house. They want to make up with you and make it right. They want to take back the things that they said to you in the heat of the moment. Your person is seeking another chance. This isn’t the first, second, or third breakup but this time they are unsure where you stand.

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soobadnoonecanstopher · 1 year

Text

Can I Stay? (A Baekhyun Story) Part 5.

Pairing: You x Baekhyun

Rating: M (Mature Content)

Word Count: 5.8k

Warnings: Outright overly dramatic, yet tasteful and sophisticated descriptions of sex between two consenting adults with an unspecified age difference between them, no mentions of/or absence of sexual protection implied or expressed, an English story that uses the word Noona for lack of another word in English that carries the same feeling, if you don’t like this, then don’t read this story.

Author‘s note: remember all those years ago I said I’d write a Baekhyun x Noona fic? This is that fic.

Inspired by the Ray LaMontagne song Can I Stay

Links: Can I Stay? Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6

Tag List: @andimoon @his-mochi-cheeks

“Noona, I think we like each other.”

You felt the deafening silence as every single voice of reason and each and every alarm bell inside of you went still when you kissed him.

You felt the lighting strike hit close enough this time to send a bolt straight through your chest when you kissed him.

Somewhere deep inside your chest, somewhere tiny and somewhere hidden, you were vibrating. You felt the steady hum of it.

Baekhyun’s lips were so soft and when you pressed your own into his, you felt the smallest movement from him in response. His response was gentle and yielding. He gave in to you so easily as you kissed him. You took what you wanted and he gave it to you.

Baekhyun’s face was still. His eyes took a little bit longer to open and when he did his heavy eyelids resisted. With pink cheeks and lips still wet from the kiss, he lazily pulled his heavy eyes open, you were caught again in the warm deep brown of them. The hands that had held your face earlier had broken the contact with the warm skin of your face when you had kissed him. His hands were frozen now, lifted in their former place but the man was too quiet, too stunned, too motionless in the still and quiet moments after you had kissed him.

After a few seconds he closed his eyes and drew in a breath of air that stuttered on its way in and out again and he laid the palm of his hand over his chest, lightly setting it just over his chestplate, giving a slow and gentle and almost undetectable tap, tap as he breathed through it.

It only took you a few moments of sitting in the aftermath but slowly, and one by one, your thoughts and your many worries came back to you. You gave your head a tiny shake and you rolled your eyeballs around inside of your head and you could feel each one slipping its fingers running them around your rim. You were vibrating. You could feel the hum when you lifted a hand to your own chest. It wasn’t your heart beat nor your breathing.

You’d done it. The President’s son. Your charge that had been carefully placed into your hands to care and to nurture and help grow — you’d done it. Each and every carefully grown, polished, expertly placed year of your career and every single painstakingly ripped and clawed your way through the competition milestone and award you had bled for, and every single sleepless night; every single soul sucking week after week, month after month so you could get to the top; every single fucking thing you have spent your entire life working toward — you could feel the thoughts racing and with each new realization that hit you like a train your breathing puffed out faster and harder from your chest and you had to close your eyes through it. You had to turn your head away from him and you lifted a trembling hand to your face, covering your lips with the palm of your hand.

“Shit,” you said from below the skin of your hand.

Baekhyun must have been alerted by your trembling hands, or maybe it was the very same swear word uttered in nearly the exact same tone as he had used to say it this morning.

You fucked up. Just as he declared that he had fucked up and there was simply no taking this back and rewinding and pretending like it had never happened.

“Hey-” his voice called from somewhere close to you, “hey, hey, no. No, don't say that,” he was whispering beside you. You felt his arms then. He was standing up it seemed and you felt a strong and steady warmth coating you as he wrapped both of his arms around your shoulders, bringing a warm hand up over the top of your head. You smelled him everywhere in this and you found yourself pressed inside the firmness of his chest as he held you so tightly in his arms.

“No, this feels terrible, is that what I said to you after I kissed you? Jesus, I get it. Please don't say that.” His arms were squeezing you tighter and you found movement impossible and the oxygen in here pressed up against the white t-shirt he wore with the heat and the warmth of his chest under the thin fabric. You had a hand in here as well, thoroughly squished by the tightness of the hold he kept on you and you had to breathe, you had to wiggle your hand, pushing against him slightly, anything so he could loosen the hold just a little bit.

“I won’t let you go until you take it back,” he said with an impossible tightening of his arms around you. You were going to die right here smothered between this man’s pectoral muscles. There was some bargaining taking place in the back of your mind. There was some acceptance happening back there as well as you weighed the two deaths. This way: smothered by his boobs, which actually had been featured in one of your more recent late night fantasies, certainly seemed preferable to the vomit-covered splatter fall to the pavement you’d contemplated earlier. Plus he did smell very nice. You could think of worse ways to go.

You did your best to nod your head. He felt the movement and responded by relaxing his body around you just enough, just enough for you to pull your head out of his shirt and lift your face and take deep satisfying cooling breath from the fresh air over your head. Your hand was still pinned right beside your face, a kind of zombie claw coming up out of the ground.

“Let me go—hmm?” you pleaded in a whisper.

“But, you’ll run away,” he replied with a severe pout.

“I don't have anywhere to run. I live here.” It felt like a weird hostage negotiation.

“You’ll find somewhere to run, you are very crafty and very smart.”

“Baek-hyun,” you squeaked out the words and he looked down at you, still very much wrapped around you, extremely close and with one of the most serious expressions set very deep inside his brown eyes. “It’s impossible,” you whispered into the tiny space between your lips and his lips.

“Whatever it is that you’re thinking inside that beautiful head of yours, I need you to stop. It’s not impossible. It’s not even close to impossible. Time travel is impossible. Moving things with your mind, that is impossible— I tried. This is just two people that like each other, nothing could be more possible than that.” His eyes searched over your face as he spoke and his lips hung open as he exhaled his breath over your lips again. The heat that traveled over your face had you gasping for air again, even though he had loosened his hold on you, you felt that pull into him again as he spoke passionately about what you were still pretty sure could not be really happening.

“Noona,” you saw the effects of your most recent negative thoughts roll over his back as he did his absolute best to push them away. His eyes sunk closed and you saw the furrow of his eyebrows as a somewhat pained expression landed on his pretty face. You didn’t like it. From this close up, you did not like to see him like this, in any state of unhappiness.

“Noona,” he repeated again as he inhaled once more, “I think my feelings are hurt.” He gave your whole body the smallest shake of complaint. You were blindsided by how cute it was and you felt your flimsy resolve shake at its foundation with the tiny earthquake he just gave you.

His eyes glanced down at you for a second and you looked up at him with that same look of uncertainty as you had before. This time you pulled your bottom lip between your teeth and you bit down lightly, not hard enough to cause any pain but definitely hard enough for something like a smile to break though.

You heard a soft whine from the back of his throat now, and he shook you again. His arms appeared to be linked tightly around your back. It was evident that you weren’t going anywhere until you both had come to some sort of agreement. You heard a deeply dissatisfied sigh from way deep down in the pit of his stomach and you only had so much you could take before you felt yourself crumble in his arms.

“Baekhyun, what? What do you want me to do about your hurt feelings?”

“I don't know. Make it better,” he grumbled. You closed your eyes and bit down on your lip again.

“How can I?” You asked under your breath and when you opened your eyes he was watching your lips as you spoke. Reading your lips whisper. Reading your struggles and your frustration in them. “How can I, how can we—” the words trailed off and their meaning hung heavy on your tongue.

Impossible.

You would lose everything.

“We just do,” he whispered back into the space that kept you both separated. “You do, and I do and we just—” He shook his head back and forth ever so slightly. There were no answers here.

Only miracles.

His lips still held a pout. His pink bottom lip stuck out just enough for the upset to still be evident on his face. The impossible situation you’d drawn attention to and his frustration and hurt feelings and all of it sat there dripping off his bottom lip.

You looked up and you leaned in. Your own mouth opened over his lips and you pulled him into you. You heard the sounds from his throat, low and groaning at the sudden kiss. Again, only this time you kissed him for the upset. To rid him of that silly storm cloud that had settled over his head with your talk of impossibilities and your thoughts of doom and gloom.

Baekhyun’s lips parted for you and as he received your kiss he offered his own, pushing himself further into you, you felt the tip of his tongue slipping along the softness of your lip, painting along the edge of your teeth, and the suction of his lips as he pulled lightly against the flesh, you felt him bite down with his teeth as he did it.

You couldn't even remember the last time someone kissed you this way, as if under a spell in which every insatiable human urge needed to be satisfied at once.

With every gasp for air there was an undeniable need for more and with every touch of his hands over your skin, every wandering of your own hands over the smoothness of his chest, you came to realize a point of no return was quickly coming to a head and if you were going to stop it, you should act now.

You had to pull away from his mouth, and you had to do it for the sake of your own sanity. You left him with his heaving breaths and his lips hung open and all of that body heat and firmness and tension that you felt all over his body and you had to physically extract yourself from it. It took considerable effort and after a few seconds of feeling all of that cool air over your skin, your mind finally began to grab ahold of itself enough for just a few rational thoughts to finally sink their way inside.

This day; this evening, it snowballed with incredible speed. You felt blindsided by it.

You must have both recognized the danger. Baekhyun leaned against the countertop with his eyes still closed and his breathing finally settling, and you were still close enough to reach out and touch him, but you no longer found yourself trapped in his arms.

You inhaled and exhaled a deep breath and the sound of it pulled his eyes to you for a moment. After a few breaths of his own you saw the smile that appeared on his lips. That pretty smile that touched his eyes and overcame him for just a second. He had to close his eyes for it. It was contagious and you felt your own lips pulling into a small smile, you exhaled a small chuckle as you shook your head back and forth.

“Are you still upset with me?” You knew he wasn’t. You still had to ask.

You didn’t want him to ever be upset with you. That feeling was so strong and overwhelmingly certain inside of you. You tilted your head with the small question you asked him and he watched you with wide blinking eyes and one of his eyebrows bounced up and back down again. His smile was back only he had quit looking at you in favor of throwing his head back and rolling his eyes over the ceiling of your kitchen.

That smile felt like a drug. The small chuckle that burst from his chest was even better and when his tongue slipped out of the corner of his mouth and he bit down on his lip and his eyes slipped once again over to you. The look in his eyes was something you hadn’t been prepared for. You knew this look and it was only trouble. There was longing in there. There was desire and there was lust and there was only one destination with him looking at you this way.

Emergency evasive actions had to be taken for both of your sake if not for the mere fact that you had only just confessed your feelings to each other less than an hour ago and you refused to allow your insane attraction to the man get the better of you.

When you dropped the eye contact and cleared your throat, in some attempt to reel yourself in, you heard him make a sound and from the back of his throat. It was half of a throat clearing, half of some animalistic growl that you tried your best to ignore and you reached for the half full beer can. You put it to your lips, poured the liquid into your mouth, and you tasted nothing of what you swallowed but at least it was something to do with your hands. At least it was a welcomed distraction from the man who at this very moment was doing the exact same thing with his beer. He’d emptied his and you watched him wander from this dangerous spot beside you around to your kitchen trash can into which he noisily dropped the can. It clanked to the bottom and at the same time you heard the boom of another thunderclap from that storm that still raged outside.

It was bound to rain all night long. You wondered if you’d be able to get any sleep tonight.

You noticed he wasn’t reaching for another beer and you figured it was because he knew he would need to drive home at some point.

Your mind wandered through the events of the evening, landing curiously somewhere at the beginning when he first showed up.

What had he told you then?

“Why didn’t you park out front again?” You remembered he’d mentioned a truck, and something else was tickling at your mind as you looked at the clock and saw it nearing 1am now. “Where did you say you parked your car?”

You were asking him real questions now and he gave his head a tiny shake as he pulled his fortitude back into his sane mind so he could have this little conversation with you.

“Uhh…,” he began, and he widened his eyes a bit to clear away the fuzz, “yeah there was a moving truck parked in the front. I thought they might need the space to load up, so I had to park inside a secure lot on the corner.” He cleared his throat after he said it and your brow furrowed as you tried to think of any other lot besides the one that you knew closed for the evening between midnight and 5am, which was part of what made it a secure lot.

You did your best with it, but that was the only lot you knew of existence in this neighborhood.

Your stomach sank just a little bit.

“Baekhyun, the lot on the corner?”

He nodded his head as if he seemed only mildly curious about why you were discussing this right now.

“They lock it up at midnight,” you said flatly. Your eyes blinked steadily at him and you bit down hard on your bottom lip before inhaling to add another fact that you knew about this lot. “It doesn’t open until morning. That’s why it’s a secure lot. There will be no way for you to get your car out until morning.”

He was watching your face with more interest now. After a few moments of him staring his brows furrowed deeply, he inhaled and hissed his response, “Why would they do that?”

He gave his head a shake, as if this made no sense.

“What did you do?” You whispered in response, lifting your hand in his direction in question and you hopelessly fought the smile on your face as best you could, but something in you found this little blunder of his to be weirdly funny. You let a little giggle escape and you lifted your hand up to cover it up.

“I just gave them my car but I thought they would give it back to me,” he whispered back at you with his hand also lifted in the same way you had done and you were laughing outright at him now.

“Guess I’ll have to take a taxi,” he said to himself and another thunder boom sounded in the distance. Your giggles quieted down and Baekhyun was looking down at your counter from the safety of the other side now, away from where you sat on this stool having your own little struggles with the thought of sending him out in a taxi in this storm.

Baekhyun was slowly tracing the edge of your kitchen counter with his fingertip. It was an aimless and mindless motion and your eyes followed the path his finger took until he took a step and reached the end closest to your front doorway. You saw his focus land on a few things you kept there. You had a little dish with some loose change. You had a few sets of keys that opened various locks, some that you remembered, some that you did not. Some baubles and some things that just happened to land there when you got home. His hand landed around a small bottle of perfume that you kept there so you could spray some on your skin or on your neck before you headed out the door in the mornings, and either his curiosity or his brazen nosiness had him lifting the bottle and uncapping it to place it against his nose for a sniff.

“Is this what you wear?”

You hummed out your response, admitting that yes, lately that was your go-to scent.

Baekhyun sprayed once on his wrist and lifted a hand to his nose, coming back with a pout on his lips. Did he not like it? Was it too cheap for his expensive tastes and he found it unpleasant compared to something that you were sure he would buy for himself?

“Smells different on me,” he said after a while and he took two or three steps to close the distance between you both, leaving the bottle of perfume back where he had picked it up.

His hand was extended and you instinctively turned your nose into his wrist to see what he meant. You smelled the notes of the perfume that you loved. You smelled it paired with his skin and it smelled pretty good you thought. You gave a questioning shrug in response and he stepped in closer to you again, pushing his hand forward so his wrist grazed lightly against your neck this time, transferring the still damp perfume onto the skin of your neck just below your earlobe.

“Here,” he said softly and he was leaning his face, pushing his nose into your hair and breathing deeply and slowly from the skin below your ear, “here, you smell so good.”

A match was struck somewhere inside of your body and you felt goosebumps spread over your skin with his face so close to the skin of your neck like this. Everywhere, your skin pulled and prickled and as if against your will, your head tilted to the side giving him access to you. The softness of his cheek brushed against your cheek as he made his way down and when he pulled that breath deep into his lungs you felt your eyes close up and the air you gasped for got stuck halfway inside of your throat. The effect made a sound come out of you. The want pushed your hands forward and you wrapped them around his waist, pulling him into you. You’d been sitting on the stool and when you pulled him his hips landed between your parted knees and there was a fire spreading very quickly.

You heard the low throaty moan from his chest and it echoed through your eardrum, vibrating against your neck where you felt his soft lips press a kiss into the skin below your ear.

You were on fire. You pulled him harder into you with your arms tightening around his waist and you gave in to the urge to let your knees part, feeling him stepping in just enough. You could feel the effects you had all over his body and when he pressed himself between your legs you couldn't help the moaning sound that escaped from your throat. You felt your control slipping. The man was making you let go of every single rule you’d ever lived by and you could feel deep down in your bones a desperation building within you.

Baekhyun lifted his face to look into yours and his eyes were half closed with that same look of heady desire deep in those eyes.

He dipped his face into yours and you felt softness as his lips placed the smallest kiss on your lips. You responded with a puff of air and he pulled his face up again, seeking out your eyes with his own dark ones.

He moved in close again, pressing another tiny kiss over your lips and he immediately pulled up again, his eyes searching all over your entire face as his fingertips smoothed the hair around your temples, clearing it from your skin before he placed another tiny kiss on your face, beside your rapidly blinking eyelid; his next kiss was peppered delicately just over your cheekbone followed quickly by the smallest kiss over your jaw.

He was back again, those eyes were back on you and when he moved in to kiss you on the lips once more you responded. You opened your mouth to him pulling the tip of his greedy tongue inside of your mouth again, needing more of his lips and his tongue and his teeth with only the need for air stopping you from speending hours and days and weeks inside of his mouth.

And then he was back at your neck, only this time instead of inhaling he had an exhaled whisper on his tongue.

A question to ask you.

“Can I stay-” he breathed, “here with you-” his words were gasping, “til’ the morning?”

You wanted him. You wanted to keep him here with you and you wanted to keep him forever.

He was looking into your face again, with half closed eyes, swollen pink lips and that dark look in his irises. You knew what his question was. You could feel the desire in every cell of your body. You could feel the heat he pushed between your legs, desperate for some relief.

Your head nodded on its own. Your body responded to him without any effort on your part at all and even if you had wanted to push him away, you were too wrapped around him to physically be able to.

You knew what this was. It was stronger than either of you could stand.

After your nod, his lips were back to your ear, whispering again, setting your skin ablaze again with those sinful sentences of his. “Won’t you take me to your room?” he asked.

Yes.

Yes I will.

Yes we can go there.

Somehow you found your legs were still working and somehow you found the courage to take those steps. It is just over here, you guided him without speaking as your mind raced, all a jumble of anxious nerves and disbelieving the fact that you were really doing this. You walked and he followed and somewhere inside of your bedroom with the lights turned off and only a small table lamp in the shape of a bird that you had purchased simply because it was cute, illuminated in the corner, you heard the smallest question from him.

“Is that a bird?” Of course he would notice it. It was the only light on in the room and it was fucking awesome. His eyes would be drawn to how sharp the lines were, how clean the design was and how fat its little belly was and how its tiny body was filled from head to tail and bursting with light. You paid so much money for it; way too much for it only to hide it away inside of your bedroom but it made you very happy and so did your bedroom.

“Noona, how can you be this cute?”

And now, Baekhyun was here too.

Standing in here with Baekhyun with him commenting on your very secret and personal silly little bird lamp had your hands trembling and your mouth had gone dry from trying to fill your lungs with deep calming breaths.

Your skin was too hot. Your body was too affected by him and you began to worry about how you might do this. It had been a very long time since you’d slept with anyone. You weren’t even really sure how long. Your last relationship had fizzled out long before you were dumped by him and that sex had always felt rather performatory and kind of unsatisfying. But what if it was you? What if you just weren’t that good at it? What if you embarrassed yourself with just how obviously and how badly you wanted him right now? Because you did. You’d never wanted anything more. A million self doubts were flying through you and you spun anxiously on your heels, turning into him, you quickly opened your mouth to speak.

“B-Baek, umm…” you were speaking quickly, “i-it’s been a really long time since I’ve b-been with anyone.”

Oh god, you sounded scared. You didn’t want to give him the impression that you didn’t want to be in here with him right now.

“I want to though, with you,” you swallowed, willing the audible shaking in your voice to settle down. “I want you.” You said the last bit as cleanly and as plainly as you could. He had to know this.

You could see his face clearly with the small light in the corner, thanks to your awesome bird, and you were sure he could see every shaking, trembling, uncertain expression that had just flown over your face.

He’d taken a step closer to you as you spoke and all the while watching your expression closely as you spoke. You had to close your eyes after a few seconds under his watchful gaze and you only realized you were holding your breath when the tips of his fingertips touched at the side of your face and the gentle touch made you gasp for more air.

“You want me?” He had a sort of wonder on his voice with the question and it pulled your eyes open to him. You could see his lips pulling into a kinetic smile, his lips moving with each of his exhales, his very slight smile pulled and slipped like it might have been powered by his heartbeat. The movements would have been undetectable had you been any further away from him.

“I’m nervous,” you confessed in a whisper with your eyes closed but with him touching you this way you could already feel something other than nerves overtaking you now.

“Baby, it’s me,” his warm breath fanned over your lips, between the kisses he gave you he also gave you promises, “and I’ve got you.”

His reassuring words overcame, “I’ve got you — no matter what, I’ve got you, my darling.”

Baekhyun’s promises coated over you from the top of your head to the tips of your toes and you felt the ease that came with them.

My darling.

His hands had moved now, he ran light fingertips over the goosebumped skin on your waist, slipping his fingertips gently below the elastic waistband of your shorts.

Byun Baekhyun, your Baekhyun, had so carefully and expertly broken down every bit of your self defenses and excuses. He’d seen you so clearly from the beginning and he’d done it in a way that only he could have done. This choice — this act with him felt inevitable. You gave in. Up until this point, it had been a difficult battle against yourself, but ultimately and inevitably, you did it.

You gave in to this feeling completely.

As if you had always been meant to do with him.

When you’d found yourself completely bare before him and he was just as vulnerable before you; you let go of all of it.

The arousal had been so much that every touch of his skin on your skin had you reeling. Your skin was hot to the touch and when his strong arms wrapped tightly around your waist and lifted you up, he did it with such ease that you crumbled in his arms. When the cool temperature of the blanket that covered your bed first touched your bare back you gasped in shock at the temperature difference and when the heat and the weight of his body covered over you in one fluid motion, your breath left you entirely.

You’d underestimated the strength he had in his body. You’d underestimated your body’s response to feeling him here, pressing between your thighs, your thighs which he fit in between so expertly and with purpose, your thighs which he’d pushed open himself with a firm knee as you both fell together into this bed. Your thighs between which he sank with hip bones at first, his mouth still connected to yours. But between your thighs he was there, with a wandering hand and silent fingertips that touched and teased and urged as he found the exact places to touch you; as he found the exact pressure and rhythm to push you close and closer to the edge of your sanity and you lost his lips from your mouth in the haze and you felt him sinking lower and lower, down between your thighs. You gave in. You let go of the tight grip you’d had on his hair as he pulled you harder into his mouth and you gave in to it; the oblivion that took you over.

You’d had no time to recover when you felt his wet tongue and wet lips at your breasts. You’d had no time to recover when you felt those hip bones back between your thighs with the heat and the pressure he brought with him. Baekhyun pushed inside so slowly at first; then came the feeling of being inundated by him and with all of the fire and the pressure and the careless abandon that came with it.

What you hadn’t underestimated, what you just knew would be a truth about Byun Baekhyun and what you had shamelessly imagined many nights since you’d begun experiencing this silly little self indulgent infatuation involving your Assistant, was that the sounds he made as he fucked you were resonant; as thundering as they were thrilling. Many of these sounds he made directly into your ear, sending the moans and whines and whimpers directly into your brain as his body rolled, pulling you on top of him, lifting you again so easily with strong arms as you sank down onto him again and again. It felt simultaneously never-ending and fleeting. Spinning, spinning, spinning forever; the spool had been wound so tight something was bound to snap soon and you could feel a climax nearing for you both.

When the oblivion returned you were overcome with more than that took your breath away. The sex itself, the climax itself was not the only thing that you felt running through your every vein, filling you up from the inside with a pervasive all consuming force. The sex itself was incredibly unparalleled to anything you had ever experienced with anyone else in your life, but there was something more that took hold of you in that very moment and you could not find a name for it as it moved through you.

Even through the eventual separation of your bodies, even through the laborious breaths that were futilely chased and the thick haze and the dense fog that you climbed up through, for some sort of return to reality; you still felt gripped by it.

It felt like falling. It felt like you would never be able to escape from this.

It felt like — felt like—

Baekhyun’s whisper made its way through the obscurity followed by lazy kisses pressed against your sticky skin with a spoken question and you knew.

Even as he himself asked you the very question that danced inside of your mind, tempting you with its heavy implications; you knew the answer.

Whether or not he asked it out loud you already knew it so completely.

But still he said it — from his own lips came that tiny question.

“Is this love?”

[To Be Continued]

Links: Can I Stay? Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6

#exo #exo fanfiction #exo smut #baekhyun #baekhyun smut #baekhyun fanfic #exo scenario #exo fic #girl dinner #boujee smut

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tired-teacher-blog · 10 months

Text

Characters : Tattoo artist Aizawa/ Florist fem reader

Featuring : Eri/ Hizashi Yamada/ Nemuri Kayama/ Oboro Shirakumo/ Emi Fukukado

Warnings and Genre : Fluff/ Romance/ Smut and Angst in future chapters/ Multi Chaptered Story

Summary : In a desperate attempt to get closer to the tattoo artist dominating every speck of your brain, you decide to pay him a visit one evening as a client seeking his service. This encounter will prove to be the beginning of something much bigger between you two, but will this new found passion be enough to stand against the difficulties your future holds?

Notes : Loosely inspired by this/ Art below is by the wonderful @/ael-draw who gifted me this gorgeous piece.

Masterlist|Second Masterlist|Third Masterlist

Chapter Count : Part 1 • Part 2 • Part 3 • Part 4 • Part 5 • Part 6 • Part 7 • Part 8 • Part 9 • Part 10 • Part 11

Mature content ahead so please be warned : 18+

How long has it been precisely? Can you truly tell?

Two months one week and six days..

Of course you can, how can you not? Those days have been your dearest and most treasured after all, and even now, you still cannot truly believe that he has welcomed you into his life and Eri's.

Your feelings for the both are growing each minute that passes, and you can no longer picture your life without either one of them.

You beam cheerfully as you look at your tattoo again, it's fully healed and looks stunning, you love it, even more so because he was the one inking it.

"Hello beautiful, I'm taking Eri over to Kayama's house now, she's excited but says she misses you. I'll see you in a bit."

Your smile widens as you read his message again, it's Saturday and you have agreed to spend the night at his place, and it is to be the first time ever that you do so.

You weren't exactly sure what it meant when he suggested it— and you still aren't, does he perhaps have something special in mind? He even insisted on sending Eri to Ms Kayama's house so you can be alone for the night.

You have never spoken about being intimate before, sure, you have kissed, held hands, hugged, cuddled, and that's about it, but something feels different this time.

Secretly, you wish your expectations are correct, you are ready to move forward in your relationship but never really had the courage to initiate anything beyond the usual, so maybe tonight.. who knows..

_ "Hi." he greets you with a grin as soon as you open the door, and you immediately jump in his arms with a cheerful squeal.

You miss him a lot, and even though you see him every evening when he comes to work, it's still not enough because you don't get to hold and kiss him like you wish you could.

_ "Hi." you sneak your arms around his neck and drag him closer for a kiss, your fingers are threading into his hair while his are resting on your hips.

His kisses are always soft and slow, melting you away and fogging up your brain, they are sweet and addictive, just like he is.

_ "So, ready to go?" his whispered words are ghosting over your neck while he nuzzles you there, and you breathe out a "yes" as a shiver runs through your whole body..

You have had dates in his house and yours before, and they've always been casual and fun, sometimes even Eri joins you when you and her insist on it, but tonight is not going to be like any other -you're sure of it- because not only are you going to be home alone with him, but you're also going to spend the night.

Your excitement and anticipation are surprisingly overpowering your nerves, you have a lot of expectations for what to come but what if you're just reading too much into it?

_ "I tried following the recipe to the letter so I hope it came out well," he chuckles nervously while pulling out a chair for you on the dinner table before joining you on the other side of it, "you should've seen Eri trying her hardest to help out, she wanted it to be tasty for you."

_ "She's so sweet," your heart swells up with joy while picturing them together in the kitchen, "it looks appetizing so I'm sure it tastes delicious."

You spend dinner time catching up on each other's news since you haven't been on a date for almost a week, messages and video calls don't count at all because they do nothing to quench your longing for him.

He's as gentle as ever, his voice, his gaze, his smile, his hand cradling yours from across the table, and just everything about this man.

However, you still wish for more of him but the longer time that passes, the further you feel from achieving that, so maybe he truly just invited you over to spend the night and that's that..

_ "Wanna watch a movie or something? I have a few options." he browses through the selection and hums while his eyes study the titles, but all you can focus on is his slender form in a simple white tank top and grey sweatpants, bringing to light the ink covering his buff arms and chest that you cannot repress the urge to run your fingers along them, and so you do.

He flinches at the sudden contact and you instantly retrieve your hand in shame, what were you thinking?

_ "I'm sorry I was just, admiring your tattoos." you try lightening the mood with a shy giggle, but his face remains stoic and your heart drops to your stomach with regret.

How long is he going to stare at you without saying a word?

_ "Aizawa, what's.." but your words are cut short as he pulls you flush against his chest, crashing your lips together without a warning and sneaking his hands under your shirt to squeeze your flesh between his fingers.

_ "It's Shouta." he sounds huskier than usual as he comments between hungry kisses, and you moan a response because that's the only thing you're capable of voicing.

Shouta.. as much as you wished to, you have never called him that before -not aloud anyway- because in your dreams, in your head, in your private time with yourself, he's always been just Shouta to you, and now he's asking you straightforwardly to use the name.

You want to say it out loud, to scream it, to whimper it, but his mouth is devouring yours still.

His body heat is flowing to yours and your eager hands are roaming his protruding pecs, digging your nails into his skin because you need the reassurance that what's happening right now is real.

_ "Shou.." you struggle against his lips and it's like a switch has been turned on in his brain, the growl he lets out afterwards weakens your legs, but he's there to pick you up in his arms and stumble to his bedroom hurriedly.

You have never been to his chamber before, never thought the day would come when you'll actually be, but your once unreachable wish is now a reality as he sinks you both on his plush mattress.

_ "Is this okay?" he whispers breathlessly against your abused lips, hovering over you while his eyes search your face for a permission to carry on.

_ "Yes, it's fine." your hands are on his chest, feeling his heartbeat quickening under your touch, but you still want more.

You're longing for his bare skin against yours, for his lips all over your body, for his fingers reaching your deepest depths, "Shouta, are we..?" you're still unused to using his name casually, but the thrill coming with it is euphoric.

_ "Only if you're comfortable with it." and he truly wishes you are, his lust for you is too obvious to miss.

You say nothing after that, but your hands answer him instead as they slowly start unbuttoning your cute lace blouse while your eyes are fixed on his eager expression.

It's a little flustering to be exposed to him, what would he think of you? Do you look pretty enough for him? What if he doesn't like what he sees? What if..

_ "You're beautiful." and his response to your unvoiced questions comes to pull you back to reality.

You smile sheepishly and welcome him back in your arms, tracing his neck and shoulders as he peppers kisses on your lips, cheeks, jawline, neck, until you start giggling uncontrollably.

He leans back to gaze at you, a gleam in his eyes as he rids you of the blouse still clinging to your body, grazing your sides and belly and licking his lips seductively before diving in to kiss you there.

_ "Sho.. Shouta." you arch off the bed seeking more of the mouth doing wonders to you, closing your eyes and biting down on your lip as his stubble scrapes against your skin.

_ "Yes, I'm right here." his voice is low and tantalizing, messing with your head and sending waves of warmth deep to your guts.

Your fingers move along his slender neck until they reach his hair, tugging it gently everytime he decides to nibble on your flesh. He's tormenting you, and your patience is running low already.

His lips travel upward, covering the expanse of your smooth skin and leaving a trail of saliva and goosebumps behind, to stop right at your breasts.

He looks up, dark irises searching yours for a sign of hesitation, but he finds none, only lidded eyes silently begging him to carry on, and so he does.

He quickly unhooks your bra and slides it off of you before tossing it away where your blouse is discarded.

He's staring, intently, and it's making you cautious about laying bare underneath him, "st.. stop looking at me like that." you whine frustratedly while shifting your gaze and bringing your arms up to hide yourself behind them, but he's faster than you are, grabbing your wrists and pinning them over your head.

_ "I'm sorry but, I can't help it." he leans in again, capturing your lips in a heated kiss, his hands leave yours to caress down your body, exploring you slowly and thoroughly until finally cupping your breasts.

You shudder in suprise and let out a moan that he thirstily swallows, his hands are big, warm and gentle, fondling your mounds and circling his thumbs around your perked up nipples.

Your breath hitches at once when you feel his growing bulge nudging your thigh, and suddenly everything becomes real.

This is happening, it's no longer just in your head..

You buck your hips against his own unintentionally, and he lets out a muffled hiss as his lips leave yours.

_ "Wait, don't do that." he groans against your neck while squeezing his eyes shut.

What's happening? Did you do something wrong?

_ "I'm sorry Shouta, I'm.."

Good job ruining the mood.

_ "No, no that's not it," he interjects with a worried smile, "you're just so enticing that I don't think I'm able to handle anymore teasing."

You heave a sigh of relief hearing his words, here you thought he might've hated your impulsive advance when in reality he has enjoyed it a bit too much, and you find yourself tempted to do it again, just so you could relish his flustered expression once more.

_ "This makes me so happy.." you whisper a response as your nails rake his arms teasingly, peering at him through your lashes with an inviting gaze.

His lips ghost over your neck and collarbone, placing the softest kisses in their path until they reach your luscious plumpness, "you look delicious." and his brazen words travel through every vein in your body.

His tongue darts out to lick your sensitive nipples one at a time, humming pleasurably as he does, and the wild sensation he's casually providing you, clouds up your brain and messes with your sanity.

He nibbles on your flesh, relishing your cute trembles and sweet sounds of his name moving past your lips as he engulfs your swollen teats into his mouth and devours you hungrily. Growls of pleasure vibrate against your skin as they leave his throat, and greedy hands move lower and lower until they reach your pants to hastily unbutton and lower them to your knees.

_ "Take them off of me, Shouta.." you request breathlessly while writhing underneath him, you're strangely comfortable with every move he's making and wish to dive deeper into this sensation.

_ "You got it beautiful." he mumbles with a mouthful of your flesh, wasting no time to yank off the garment and leave you only in a pair of silk lavender panties that's elegantly wrapped around your most delicate parts.

A gush of cold air hits your skin as he releases your bud with a shameless pop to sit up and observe you, his dark eyes blaze with passion while taking in every single detail of your luscious curves and you suddenly miss the feeling of his mouth on you, arching your back in hopes of making it clear.

He chuckles heartily and places his warm hands on your sides, hooking his fingers in the hem of your undergarment teasingly before running a digit along your covered pussy.

You twitch under his touch and he groans at your reaction before diving in to peck you there, "relax, this is fine right?"

_ "Yeah, yeah it is." you squeeze your eyes shut and spread out your legs further for him to bury his face there, biting hard on your lip and grabbing onto the bedsheets as he grazes his teeth along your panties.

His tongue is hot and tantalizing, tormanting you through the thin fabric with slow wet licks and trails on your concealed crevice.

Your fingers leave the bedding and thread through his hair as he laps you up faster, soaking the frail garment and stimulating you more.

_ "Shouta, please.."

Has it ever crossed your mind that you might possibly be this intimate with the man? Well, perhaps, but only in your mind when you'd spend hours upon hours daydreaming about him, and even then, it has always felt embarrassing and awkward to have such indecent fantasies about him, but this, this isn't embarrassing nor is it awkward and you fail to understand why, but you love it, and that's all you know.

_ "Uhum, what is it? Tell me." he whispers gruffly.

What you want is more of him, what you need is his mouth directly against your folds, but you cannot possibly voice your desire.

He smirks with a feral look in his eyes, "I got it," swiftly sliding off your panties and throwing them away, "this is what you want right?" and he doesn't even wait for you to reply before planting soft kisses on your trembling thighs and placing them carefully on his shoulders, moving in slowly to lick the outlines of the puffy lips and finally push his way to your glistening slit.

The foreign sensation is driving you mad, being devoured by him has certainly been beyond your wildest dreams, yet here you are, his lips are pressed against your lower ones and his warm tongue is slowly moving between your fluttering hole and reddening clit, twisting and rolling deliciously along your slick folds.

_ " Shouta.. right there." the knot in your belly is tightening as he draws your puffy clit into his mouth, sucking it hungrily while his satisfied humms vibrate deep within you.

His grip on your thighs tenses as you start writhing and moaning beneath him, "I can't, I'm cumming, Shouta!" you cry out a warning and grab onto his hands while a wild shudder shakes you to the core, and he doesn't pull away, not yet, not until your pulsating cunt finally slows, and your tense body falls limp.

He gently lowers your legs and arises from between them, slick coated lips glistening and heavy eyes gleaming with animalistic desire while roaming your sprawled frame.

_ "How are you feeling?" his voice is low and gentle, and his thumbs are caressing your sides as he asks.

_ "I'm.. good.. so good." and your breathing is labored as you strive to keep your gaze on him through blurry eyes, the tingling sensation running throughout your body is unbearable and your thirst for him is yet to be quenched.

You want him out of his clothes already, to touch his bare skin and feel his warmth, and the little chuckle he lets out tells you he understands what's on your mind.

He swiftly lifts his shirt over his head and drops it to the ground, his raven hair falls around his face and the look in his eyes sends a shiver down your spine.

Your heart is hammering in your chest as you reach out a shaky hand to run along his inked skin, and for a moment there you get lost in the beautiful details of the art adorning him, you see it all now, every last bit of it as nothing is concealing it away.

He grabs your wrist gently and kisses you there, right where he etched your red rose a few weeks ago, "I love this, it has brought you to my life."

_ "Shouta.." warmth is spreading throughout you whole, as the sincerity of his statement is filling your heart with joy, "me too, it's like a part of you is always with me."

You welcome him in your arms as he lays on top you, bare chests pressed together and eager lips devouring each other in a passionate liplock. You can feel his bulge, hard as a rock against your thigh, and your eagerness to have it buried deep within you is too great to contain.

You roll your hips faintly against him and swallow the surprised gasp he lets out, you can tell he's barely holding on to his sanity when he starts thrusting shallowly against you, but that's hardly enough..

He breaks the kiss to sit up again, parading the huge stiffness formed underneath the confinement of his pants, and running his fingers through his hair while observing your reaction.

This is torture that only he can end, and you actually beg him to, "please hurry Shouta, I can't wait any longer."

That's the only thing he needed to hear you utter before carefully lowering his sweatpants and boxers and freeing his raging cock, "me neither beautiful."

Your eyes widen and your breath gets caught in your throat as his veiny shaft bounces against his abdomen, he looks away as a faint blush dusts his cheeks and you find him almost.. cute, if not for the twitching length pointing to you.

You want to touch it, to guide it to your expectant pussy, but you do not possess the audacity to do so, settling for spreading your legs a bit wider instead.

He leans over to open his nightstand's drawer and rummage through it a bit before pulling out a pack of condoms, hastily taking one out and tossing the rest back.

Has he always had those or did he prepare them especially for tonight?

_ "I got these a couple of weeks ago for a night like this, but I was never going to pressure you into anything I promise." he smiles sweetly while answering your unvoiced question.

You know that though, you trust him wholeheartedly and are certain he would never force you to do anything you're uncomfortable with, "I'm glad you did Shouta, because I'm ready."

You observe fervently as he rolls on the rubber and gives himself a few pumps before aligning his length with your pulsating cunt, "brace yourself babe," he groans through clenched teeth before easing himself into you with a strangled "fuck" leaving his throat.

Your body tenses and eyes widen because of the inevitable twinge of the first intrusion, he's big, stretching you out and filling you to the brim, but he's also there for you, leaning in to kiss your forehead and guide your breathing while rubbing soothing circles on your sides, "I won't move yet, so don't worry."

You follow his instructions and take deep breaths, digging your nails in his shoulders to keep from whimpering. It's obviously hard for him to stay still but he's patiently waiting for you to give him permission to move, and the realization warms up your heart.

_ "I'm fine Shouta, you can move now." to be frank, it is a bit painful still, but your lust for him is even more aching.

He slowly pulls back to the tip and pushes in again just as slowly, his heavy breaths are tickling your face and his hands are squeezing your flesh to keep himself in check.

You cradle his cheeks and look deeply into his eyes with a dazed smile brightening your features, and the little chuckle he lets out swells your heart.

_ "What is it? Why are you smiling at me?" he teases playfully.

_ "I just, I want to ensure this is reality."

His eyes widen hearing your response, but soon, his expression softens once more and he captures your lips in a breathtaking kiss that messes with your brain.

He starts moving again, steadily and carefully, pushing in and out of your warmth as your kiss deepens, it's fiery and sensual, bringing shockwaves of pleasure to the tip of your belly.

His lips part from yours to lay hasty pecks on your cheeks and jawline before moving lower to latch onto your neck while his thrusts gradually quicken.

_ "Shouta, keep going please, just like that." the initial discomfort is finally gone and replaced with an arousing sensation, you shakily wrap your arms around him and whimper his name repeatedly as he bites on your collarbone and pushes faster and deeper.

Remnants of your first orgasm are already coaxing a second one to come, and his skillful plunges and tormenting kisses are driving you mad as your pussy squeezes around him.

_ "Ah fuck.. you feel so good inside that I won't be able to hold out much longer." he growls against your flesh as his thrusts become erratic and his fingers dig deeper into the soft flesh of your buttocks.

_ "Me too! Shouta please! I'm cumming again!" you cry out through strangled whimpers and wrap your strained legs around his waist to bring him even closer.

It doesn't take much longer after that for you to wail his name over and over again until a splintering bliss ripples through your whole being, and you're left shuddering with mind blowing ecstacy.

He sits up at once, hips snapping against yours and pounding mercilessly into your pulsating walls as you ride out your orgasm, his eyes shine across the dimly lit room as he fills up his senses with the sight of you; spent body shimmering in a sheen of sweat and a deep flush, puffy lips mouthing his name repeatedly, disheveled hair strewn over the pillow, trembling fists grasping onto the bedsheets beneath you, and he loses his mind at that instance, low groans escaping his mouth as he thrusts one last time before his hips finally still, buried deep into your warmth as his pearly seeds fill up the condom.

You welcome him between your arms as he collapses on top of you, and you can feel his heart pounding against your chest while his hot breath tickles your cheek.

You're too exhausted to move a muscle, but cannot fight the smile appearing on your face, tonight was perfect, he is perfect.

He shifts a little to slip out of you with a groan leaving his throat and a gasp leaving yours, your walls are left empty, clenching around nothing as he peels off the rubber and tosses it in the trashcan nearby.

_ "Are you okay?" he coos softly, lips brushing against your ear.

_ "Yes, you were very gentle with me." your eyes are heavy and already closing as you reply.

_ "Well, you're my lady."

You yelp in surprise when he picks you up in his arms and gets out of bed, walking straight to the bathroom with you clutching on to his shoulders, "and now all I need you to do is relax and allow me to take care of everything." he requests with a smile while putting the toilet lid down and placing you gently atop it before turning on warm water to fill the tub.

_ "I'm all yours, Shouta."

To be continued..

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x0x0josephinex0x0 · 11 months

Text

The Hope in the Fault Lines, Part 2

I was expecting this part to take much longer to write.............but here it is!! part 2 of 5 in the series. Go read Part 1 if you haven't already!! Warnings: implied sexual behavior, sick child, one scene takes place in a hospital, implied PTSD (it's never said but she has it), death of sibling, this part is a bit of a rooooooooooough time but bear with me Word count: 5.6 k for part 2

par t 1 | part 3 | part 4

Before

You bit your lip as you looked at Jeri in the mirror. “You look beautiful,” you had told her, your voice hesitant.

“You sound so convincing,” she said sarcastically, adjusting her veil and smoothing her hands over the sleek bodice of her minimalist-chic wedding dress. “What’s your deal?”

“Are you sure you want to do this?” you had asked her. “Get married? I mean, that means you’re stuck with him.”

She rolled her eyes and laughed. “Not everyone is a workaholic and commitmentphobe,” she reminded you. “I’m in love with Jisung, sweetheart. We’ve been together for two years.”

“Is that long enough?” you had wondered out loud. “I mean, what if there’s something bad you don’t know about him? What if he committed a crime or something?”

Jeri gave you her best “you’re being ridiculous” look. “You remember who we’re talking about, right?” she asked you. “Jisung gets stressed out if he accidentally forgets to signal when he changes lanes. There’s no way he could commit a whole crime.”

You had to admit that was fair. She took your hands in hers. “I know what this is really about,” she said. “And I’m not making the mistake that mom made. I know what I’m doing.”

You had smiled at the confidence in her tone. In that moment, she seemed so mature and self-assured that you forgot she was your younger sister. Somewhere in this beautiful house, you knew Jisung was coming apart at the seams, and the thought of how the man must be panicking over every single detail of the day while your sister waited calmly to walk down the aisle was suddenly very funny to you. Downstairs, the music started, and you squeezed Jeri’s hands before tucking one of them into the crook of your elbow.

“Ready?” you asked, feeling a whirlwind of emotions -- pride, worry, joy -- but giving your sister a smile.

“Ready,” she confirmed, and together you had headed down the stairs, where everyone in the wide chapel room had stood and turned their heads to gaze open-mouthed as you, Jeri’s only sibling, walked her down the aisle.

***

“Thanks for texting,” you say as you arrive home and Mingyu hands Sara into your outstretched arms. “The updates are really great. And thanks for grabbing the books! I’ll read to her tonight.”

The first two weeks of Mingyu’s employment have seen a drastic improvement in your mental state. For one thing, Mingyu keeps the house clean, so there isn’t the added weight of messiness and clutter. For another, you are able to work without the mental load of being away from Sara because you receive regular updates throughout the day. And finally, though it’s a bit embarrassing to admit, Mingyu is just a soothing presence. You only see him for a few minutes before work and after work every day, but it’s always so easy and pleasant to talk to him that you genuinely look forward to it.

Your weekend time with Sara seems to be improving, too -- perhaps she can sense you’re breathing easier, which makes her less fussy, or maybe she’s just gotten used to you. Either way, she’s becoming more like she was before the accident, which does your heart a lot of good. And you love holding her, talking to her, and hearing her little babbles and shrieks. Obviously the circumstances of your parenthood are shit, but the actual parenthood part is turning out to be better than you thought.

“Just a heads-up -- I think she might be a little under the weather. She’s been fussy and low-energy today.” Mingyu looks between you and Sara, a little worry tinging his voice.

You look down at Sara’s flushed pink cheeks in worry. “Oh no,” you say. “Um, thanks for letting me know.”

“I got baby cough medicine,” he tells you. “So if she does come down with something, it’s in the cupboard where you keep your vitamins.”

“You’re a lifesaver,” you breathe. “Thank you.” You stroke Sara’s head, which she’s buried in the crook of your neck in exhaustion. “Don’t wanna say bye to Mingyu?” you ask her softly.

He brushes a broad hand over her black curls. “Bye, Sara. See you tomorrow.”

“Oh, that reminds me,” you say suddenly. “I have to leave Thursday night for a short day trip for the magazine. It’s nothing major -- I’m only staying overnight because the city is a couple hours away and I don’t love driving at night. Would you be alright staying with her?”

He nods. “As long as you’re paying me, I’ll be here,” he jokes.

“You’re a star,” you say, and he chuckles. “I’ll pay you time and a half for overnight stuff.”

“Thanks,” he says. “I’ll let you get her to bed, then.”

He gives you a smile that would make anyone weak in the knees, and you can’t help but smile back as he leaves. Turning your attention to Sara, you inspect her face. “Hmm,” you say, your brow creasing in worry at her dull eyes and ruddy cheeks. She does look ill, and this thought seems to hover uncomfortably in the back of your mind as you sit her in the bathtub. She fusses and cries during her bath, which is uncommon -- she loves splashing around, and usually bathtime is full of giggles and smiles. You bite the inside of your cheek and wash her off, toweling her dry a bit more thoroughly than usual to make sure she doesn’t go to bed with any part of her still wet.

You bring her to bed with you instead of putting her in her crib. You used to do this because you were so exhausted during nighttime feedings, and falling asleep in the rocking chair meant an aching neck in the morning. You still remember how terrified you were that you would roll over Sara and suffocate her. But gradually you learned that you woke with any small noise of Sara’s, and your fear had subsided. Now, she slept in your bedroom more nights than she slept in her crib -- and tonight, it felt extra necessary to keep a close eye on her.

Sure enough, around four in the morning you wake to sniffles punctuated by soft coughs. Sleepily, you lift Sara into your arms. She nuzzles into you, and you relax a bit -- clearly she is well enough to at least be aware of you. Allowing yourself to doze off, you wake up just before 5:30 and decide to actually get ready before Mingyu arrived.

You lay Sara back on the bed with a small kiss on her cheek, noting that it isn’t much warmer than it usually is (which means no fever), and take an open-door, open-curtain shower -- one where you could still see Sara’s little figure swaddled in the bed. You don’t get your hair wet, and you curl it once you get out. Finally, you actually put on makeup for the first time since your sister died.

Looking at yourself in the mirror, you realize that you barely recognize this creature staring back at you. Her hollow cheeks and dark under-eyes have been concealed by an artful hand, but the colors in her gaze betray her. Perhaps it was just because you knew everything you’d gone through, but it is obvious to you that the eyes tell all -- the crushing nothingness of grief, the bitter rage, the dimness of despair. You remind yourself to avoid looking at the mirror too closely from now on.

Sara is still fast asleep when you finish around 6:45. You decide it’s best if she stays asleep for the sake of her health, so you carefully move her to her crib just as Mingyu’s knock sounds at the door. You tip-toe down the stairs to get it. “Hi,” you whisper to him as you open the door.

He seems taken aback for a moment, but recovers quickly. “Hey,” he says at a normal volume as he strides over the threshold and removes his shoes. “You look really nice, boss.”

“Oh!” you say, still whispering, remembering the makeup and the woman you couldn’t say was you in the mirror. “Um, thanks. Uh, Sara’s still asleep.”

He nods, looking a bit sheepish at how loud he’d been, and that little pinch of worry reappeared between his eyebrows. “Did she sleep okay?” he whispers back.

“She slept through the night, actually,” you tell him. “I’m thinking we should just let her sleep as long as she wants -- her body needs rest.”

Mingyu nodded. “That sounds like a good idea. How did you sleep?” he asks you, eyeing you carefully.

“Not too bad,” you say, feeling a little anxious under the weight of his gaze. “I woke up a little earlier than normal, but I got enough.” You give him a small smile. “How did you sleep, now that we’re at it?”

He grins. “I slept great. Thanks for asking.”

“Good to hear,” you say.

You just stand there in the kitchen, smiling awkwardly at each other, before Mingyu says, “so...have you eaten yet?”

“Oh! Um, no,” you say, wondering why you’re always surprised whenever he chooses to speak to you even though you’re literally the only one in the room.

“Let me make you something,” he says. “We’ve got a lot of time until you need to leave, and I’ve never seen you eat breakfast.”

“I’m surprised you noticed that,” you say quietly.

He winks at you. “I notice everything,” he says. “So, do you like eggs?”

He goes to the fridge and starts removing things. “Yes, I do,” you say, sincerely hoping he was just teasing and he doesn’t notice how you’re blushing.

You only realize you’re staring him down when he looks at you with one eyebrow raised. “You in there?”

“Oh,” you say, yet again. You’re flustered today -- for some reason, it feels like your thoughts are taking a longer time than is average to come out of your mouth in any way that makes sense. You fixate on his broad hands chopping some garlic, and suddenly you’re speaking. “Yeah, sorry. It’s just...it’s a little stupid, but Jeri -- my sister, you know -- she was the one who always made me breakfast when we lived together in college. Even...even years later, she’d still text me occasionally to make sure I’d eaten.”

Where had that come from? Sure, it was all true -- the hard lump in your throat that made it difficult to say was evidence of that -- but why had you suddenly confessed such a thing to your nanny? You sigh. “Sorry, I don’t -- don’t really know why I just...told you that. Out of nowhere.” You look down at your hands, embarrassed.

He nods slowly, and his smile is tinged with sadness. “It’s okay,” he tells you. “I don’t mind.” He begins cracking eggs into the pan, stirring them with a pair of chopsticks to scramble them up. “What was your sister like?”

You raise your eyebrows at him. “What?” he says. “I’m curious. You don’t have to tell me, but I do genuinely want to know.”

Your mouth twists into a half-smile. “Well, she and I were like two sides of the same coin,” you say, going to sit at the island in the middle of the wide kitchen so he can hear you over the sizzling vegetables and eggs in the pan. “Inseparable since childhood, you know. She’s two years younger than I am, but it always felt like we were twins, somehow. She was...”

You trail off, thinking. Mingyu is glancing between you and the eggs on the stove, but you can tell he’s listening. Maybe it’s the quiet of the morning, and maybe it’s just him, but the dam breaks, and words spill out. “She was just as stubborn as me, but she didn’t have the ambition I have, or maybe the better word is ‘hubris’. I wanted to build something that would outlast me, but she just wanted to live somewhere quiet with her husband and a houseful of kids. But neither of us ever...ever tried to talk each other out of what we wanted. We both knew, I guess. She knew I couldn’t stand being mediocre, and I knew she hated the spotlight. And God, I loved that about her. She never resented me for my success or my money, because there was no competition.”

Mingyu takes the eggs off the stove and plates them in one smooth move, setting them in front of you as you finish speaking. He smiles at you as he hands you a fork. “She sounds great,” he says.

“She is,” you say. “Was,” you correct. Your eyes suddenly burn, and to distract yourself, you pick up a glob of eggs with the fork and blow on it, eating it. Your eyes go wide. “These are good!” you exclaim.

Mingyu gives a sarcastic little bow. “Thanks,” he says. He’s interrupted by a cry from the baby monitor -- Sara seems to have woken up.

You move to stand up to grab her, but Mingyu stops you. “You eat,” he instructs. “I’ll go get her.”

You watch him go up the stairs with the trace of a smile as you continue eating the eggs. He comes downstairs with Sara a few minutes later, and her little head is resting against his big shoulder. He’s bouncing her gently, and you are struck for a moment at how tiny she looks in his thick arms.

In minutes you’ve finished your eggs, knowing you don’t have long until you need to leave. But you do wash your plate and the pan that Mingyu used to make the eggs, despite his protests. “I may not have given the impression that I know how to do the dishes the first few weeks you worked here, but I promise I do,” you tease.

He shakes his head, amused. “I know you do, you just don’t seem like someone who should wash dishes.”

“Why?” you ask indignantly.

He shrugs. “Kind of like how a queen shouldn’t make her own bed in the morning. You’ve got me for that.”

You actually laugh at that. “Are you calling me a queen?”

He nods his head emphatically. “Of course you are,” he says with a grin.

Your smile is big enough that it’s hurting your face. “Well, thank you,” you say. “But you’re not my maid. In fact,” you continue, and grab your now-clean fork, “I think you deserve a promotion.”

In a dramatic march, you make your way over to Mingyu, who watches you with amused eyes as you stop in front of him, reaching up to tap both his shoulders with the fork before tapping the crown of his head. “You’ve been knighted,” you say seriously. And he giggles at you -- a surprisingly high, breathy sound that instantly fills you with warmth.

“I’m gonna ask all my friends to call me Sir Mingyu,” he tells you.

Solemnly, you nod. “I’m glad to know this went straight to your head.”

He laughs again, and you start to walk away. “Well, Princess Sara and Sir Mingyu, have a lovely day. The queen needs to go to work.”

He’s still grinning at your antics by the time you make it out the door.

On the drive to work, you catch yourself smiling to yourself. You couldn’t remember the last time you’d been silly like that -- it had probably been since college, and even then that side of you didn’t come out often. You had grown up far too fast, a necessity in a household like you grew up in, and the only person who really could bring it out of you had been Jeri, whom you had been that way for to try to save her from growing up too fast, too.

When Mingyu had entered your house today, he’d been your employee, but when you’d left the house, you felt that you had kind of become friends. The thought, as odd as it was, was also comforting. Because raising a child with a nanny felt clinical and business-y of you, but raising a kid with a friend was probably the closest this could get to how it should be. You make a mental note to make a raise schedule for Mingyu so that he never ever ever leaves your employment.

***

Before

You look between Jisung and Jeri with a raised eyebrow. Letting out a puff of air, you lean forward. “The things I have seen today,” you say while pinching the bridge of your nose, “are things I never thought I’d see when I asked you to house-sit for me. And things I’m expecting and hoping to never see again. Are we clear?”

Jisung’s face is bright red, and Jeri looks traumatized. They both nod.

“Although I am pretty impressed at your creativity,” you continue, feeling the need to lighten the mood in the room. “The kitchen island, Jisung? I mean, that was acrobatic of you both.”

The two of them look at each other and burst into giggles. “Okay, we’re sorry,” Jeri says, her face just as red as Jisung’s, but she can finally look you in the eye. “But can you blame us? I mean, we’re newlyweds.”

“Newlyweds who got carried away,” you agree. “Jisung, it’s okay. I’m not going to commit any murders today. You can look at me.”

“I am so embarrassed,” your sister’s husband groans. “It was my fault, I just --”

Jeri cuts in. “No, it was me, I just --”

You roll your eyes. “I really don’t care who started it. I just care that every single inch of this kitchen is sprayed with medical-grade chemicals and that you promise to never ever ever let me catch you like that again. Especially in my own house.”

“Deal,” says Jeri. Her eyes are twinkling with humor, and you have to concentrate to keep yourself from grinning at her. Because she knows what you’re about to say as Jisung hurries out of the room for the bleach.

“Damn, girl. Good for you.”

***

“Boss?” Cory’s voice sounds as though it’s coming to you from down a long hallway, and you snap back to earth with a little shake of your head.

“Sorry, Cory,” you say, shifting in your seat and reaching for your glass of water. “What were you saying?”

Cory picks at the potatoes on his plate and looks around the fancy restaurant at anything but you before fixing you with a blue-eyed gaze that is surprisingly intense. “I figured this would be the best time to confess.”

What? You’re sure you misheard him. “Confess?” you repeat.

“Yeah,” he says, and in spite of himself, he’s grinning. “Listen, we’ve worked together for seven years. We met freshman year of college, and you really believed in me more than anyone ever has in my life. I -- I’ve kept this in for a long time, actually. Years.”

“Are you telling me you have feelings for me?” you ask him bluntly.

“Well, yeah,” he says, and he blushes. “Are you telling me you had no idea?”

“I seriously didn’t,” you say, your head spinning. You take a deep breath and pray you’ll find the right words. “Listen...I appreciate you so much, Cory. I couldn’t ask for a better editor, and you’re absolutely right -- I have so much faith in you and your skills. This business, my business, wouldn’t be anywhere without you.”

He gives you a sad half-smile. “But?” he says.

“But,” you say, nodding. “But my sister just died, like, three and a half months ago. And I’m still trying to figure out what my life looks like from here. A lot is changing for me...and even if it weren’t, I still don’t think I’d be sure how I felt about being in a relationship with anyone.”

Cory seems to chew on these words as you speak. “Well, I can’t say that comes as a surprise to me,” he says after awhile. “But it was getting to be too much for me to hold in.”

“I understand,” you say, avoiding his gaze.

“Listen,” he says, and he reaches across the table to put a hand over yours. “I want you to take your time and think about it. Think about me, in that way. Figure out if it makes sense in your head like it makes sense in mine. I won’t give up on you, so take your time.”

“Okay,” you say. “I’m sorry.”

“No need to apologize,” he says -- but you aren’t apologizing for anything you said. You’re apologizing for the way you want to run out of the restaurant, far away from the yearning look in his eyes.

***

Before

“But what if --”

“Save it,” Jeri says, brushing mascara over your eyelashes.

“Seriously though. What if I --”

“You’re not going to mess it up,” she tells you. She closes the tube of mascara and then pulls the graduation cap from your bag. “Just do the speech like you practiced. You ran it through with me like a thousand times.” She pins the cap on in record speed.

“But what if I do mess it up?” you finally say.

She puts both her hands on your shoulders and gives you a look that shuts you up right away. “If there’s one thing I know about my sister, it’s that she is always prepared.”

You swallow hard at this. “Oh, God,” you breathe. “I’m not sure...”

“Why are you so nervous? You were fine yesterday,” she asks you.

“Because what if it all fails? Not just the speech,” you clarify at her quizzical glance. “All my plans, the magazine, the business...what if it all just fails?”

She gives you a gentle look. “Then we’ll start over. We always do.”

This is what gives you the strength to walk onto that stage: the knowledge that even if the worst possible thing happens, you and Jeri will always have each other.

***

There is, in your opinion, nothing worse than being exhausted and anxious. It creates the perfect storm: desperately wanting to close your eyes and escape the thoughts swirling around in your brain, but also being entirely unable to relax, which is the state you find yourself in after the dinner with Cory. So you toss and turn in your hotel room, a three hour drive from home, and wonder how Sara is doing.

Your last text from Mingyu had come in at around 7pm, and he was putting her to bed then. According to his updates, her cough had gotten worse. Cory’s confession truly couldn’t have come at a worse time, when you were already so preoccupied with Sara’s health. At 10:57pm you check your phone one final time before your exhaustion beats back your anxiety with a stick and you reluctantly sink into uneasy dreams.

It seems like minutes of sleep before you wake to your phone ringing. Your eyes fly open, but you suddenly realize your arms and legs aren’t working as you try to reach for it. Your breath speeds up, but you can’t open your mouth to scream. And spiders seem to be crawling out of the shadows on the walls.

Finally you can twitch your fingers, then move your arms, then sit up and grab your phone. Still shaking, still hyperventilating, still sick with worry, you check the caller ID and your stomach drops -- it’s Mingyu.

You quickly answer. “Hi,” you say breathlessly.

His voice is slightly muffled. “I’m taking Sara to the hospital,” he says, his tone urgent. “I don’t think she’s breathing very well.”

The air has left your lungs. You hear yourself answer him -- something about thanking him and you’ll see them soon -- and then you drop the phone. For a split second you’re frozen in panic. Then, you leap into action. You grab your keys from the nightstand, leaving everything behind but your phone and its charger, and race down the hallway to the elevator in your pajamas.

What follows is the most tense three hour drive of your life, riddled with flashbacks to phone calls from police officers on the highway. “You’re sister’s been involved in an accident,” you hear over and over in your head. “Come to the hospital.” You’re gripping the wheel so tightly that your knuckles ache, and you alternate between struggling to breathe and silently weeping. There are whole minutes, maybe more, from the drive that you don’t remember. You don’t know if you’re speeding. You don’t know what time it is. The only thing you can think is Please God, don’t let another member of my family die in that goddamn hospital.

You had hoped you’d never have to walk into this lobby again -- never have to smell the chemicals or see the doctors or talk to the front desk people and tell them who you’re there for. You never wanted to be in this same elevator, going up to this same floor, possibly to the same hallway you’d visited nearly four months earlier. And yet, here you are. It’s like your brain can’t believe it -- nothing feels real. If things got any weirder, you’d be tempted to reach your hand out to the nearest wall, half-expecting it to dissolve into smoke in your hands.

You round a corner, arriving in another one of those identical hallways, your heart in your throat, and you see him. Mingyu is standing about halfway down the hallway, talking to a doctor, his shoulders set in anxious tension, and before you can stop yourself you’re calling for him. You don’t even register his shocked expression as he turns to see you, and you don’t even realize that you’re running to him before he opens his arms to you and your collide with him.

He wraps you up tight in his grasp. “Hey,” he grunts in your ear, probably from the speed at which your body crashed into his, but his voice is calm. “She’s okay, they’ve got her on an oxygen machine. They’re giving her great care. She’s gonna be fine.”

The doctor clears her throat. “Who is this, Mingyu?” she asks.

Mingyu doesn’t let go. “She’s the child’s legal guardian,” he explains over your head.

The doctor makes an understanding noise. “I’ll let you have a minute,” she says.

Mingyu turns his attention back to you. “Breathe for me,” he says. “Big deep breaths.”

You try to obey, and the only thing you can think about is how shaky the breath sounds as it enters your lungs. “Can I see her?” you say, and your voice comes out in a raspy whisper.

“Yeah,” he says. “She’s just in here.”

He ushers you into the hospital room, where Sara lies in a little crib, her nose hooked up to a cannula pumping oxygen into her lungs. You approach her sleeping form, only vaguely aware of Mingyu’s arm across your shoulders, and bend down to brush a trembling hand over her forehead.

“She’s really going to be fine,” Mingyu murmurs to you. You look up at him, and for some reason, the way he is looking at you is what tips you over the edge. The emotions spill over, and you find yourself burying your face in his chest as you sob.

He doesn’t say anything. He just wraps his arms around you, pulling you closer into him and letting you cry. You don’t even have it in you to be ashamed of how desperately you’re clinging to him, fingers bunching into the fabric at the back of his shirt, crying the first tears you’ve shed in front of another person besides Sara since the funeral. His grip on you tightens the harder you sob, and you dazedly consider the idea that Mingyu might be trying to squeeze the sadness out of you. It’s an oddly comforting thought, and soon enough you’ve released all your emotions, the evidence of them two unflattering tearstains on Mingyu’s tee.

You take a calming breath in, pulling back to look at his face. His eyes are red, and his face is set in stony lines. It is then that you realize he’s not okay.

Several pieces of the puzzle that is the man in front of you seem to collide together in your brain at once: the way he talks about kids and the ease with which he interacts with Sara; the way the doctor seemed to know him on a first name basis; the way he’d held you almost as though he was also trying to hold himself together too. Mingyu is familiar with this particular part of this particular hospital. Mingyu has had personal experience with sick kids.

But you don’t say anything about it yet -- you know it would be too much to ask him to explain what is most probably a complicated and painful history. So you just give him a watery smile and say, “thank you for being here. And for taking such good care of her.” You pause and draw in a hitching breath before adding, “Sir Mingyu.”

He gives the tiniest smile. “I’m glad I was able to get her here in time to get her help.”

“Well, you’ve got a job until Sara moves out,” you promise him.

The smile gets bigger. “That’s a long time,” he says in a falsely skeptical tone. “You sure you won’t get sick of me?”

You roll your eyes. “Oh yeah, I forgot that you’re incredibly unpleasant to be around,” you say scathingly. “But seriously. I couldn’t have asked for a better person to take care of Sara. You need a raise or something.”

He shakes his head. “Just pay Chan a finder’s fee instead,” he jokes. “I’m sure he’d love that.”

“He probably would. And I probably owe him one,” you say, wiping the sticky tear residue from your eyes.

To your surprise, you once again find yourself wrapped up in a tight squeeze from Mingyu. “Thank you for getting here so fast,” he says quietly.

“Of course,” you say. You hesitate before winding your arms around him and squeezing him back -- perhaps hearing the unspoken truth that Mingyu needed you there as much as you needed him.

***

Before

“I’m never going hiking again,” Jeri complains, and Jisung laughs.

“You’re going to see the view, and you’re going to change your mind,” he predicts.

You grin at their banter -- this is only the second time Jeri has invited her new boyfriend along on one of the hikes, but you can tell he really likes her. And according to that last comment, he also knows her pretty well.

Cory is nearly sprinting up the trail ahead of you. “Come on, guys!” he calls. “We’re almost there.”

You’re feeling a little irritated with him because he tried to guide you in the complete wrong direction, but you try to keep that off your face as you trudge up the mountain. Sure enough, around two more bends is the summit. You are looking into a deep valley with a crystalline lake at the bottom, and the sight pricks your eyes with emotion. You refuse to cry in front of Cory, though, so you instead turn your attention to Jisung and Jeri, the former of whom is carrying your sister the remaining fifteen feet to the summit.

But when your sister sees the valley and the lake, she hops off her boyfriend’s back and scurries nearly to the edge. You have to grab the back of her backpack to stop her from overextending herself and hurtling over the edge of the cliff. “Easy there,” you say to her, but she’s not listening, her eyes shining with the sight.

“Have you ever seen anything more beautiful?” Jeri asks.

You look back at Jisung, and you can see it in his eyes -- he’s absolutely whipped for her. You’re almost surprised that he doesn’t kiss her in front of all of you. Exasperatedly, you chuckle, thinking privately that you should probably start adding to Jeri’s wedding fund.

You stay up there for almost an hour before disaster strikes, but surprisingly, it’s you who twists an ankle tripping over some rocks. You wince as the group is making its painfully slow way down the mountain, your ankle throbbing with every step. “I need a breather,” you tell them. “Go on without me.”

But as Jisung and Cory start to move away, Jeri plants herself beside you. “Go on without you?” she repeats. “But we’ll be so entirely lost without you. Don’t worry. I’ll stay with you.”

***

The hospital keeps Sara in for one more night before she’s improved enough to be off the breathing machine. You can’t help but tear up as they place her into your arms, and she reaches up to your face to pat your chin clumsily. “Hey, baby girl,” you coo. “You did so good.”

Alone, you soak in the feeling of her comforting weight on your chest for a few more minutes before gently laying her in her carrier. She fusses a little, and you speak in soothing tones: “Shhh, it’s okay, my love. We’re going home. You won’t have to be in there for too long.”

And then finally, finally, finally, you get home. Walking in the front door with Sara to the empty house feels both soothing and incomplete, and you realize as you hoist her carrier to her bedroom so you can sit in her rocking chair that your mind is on that tall, dark-haired man who laughs at your ridiculousness and held you when you fell to pieces. You had bullied Mingyu into going home to rest, knowing that if he had stayed with you like he planned, he’d be in caretaker mode. You don’t regret your choice to send him home, but you also realize that you feel that he should be here, with the both of you. The fact that he isn’t leaves a small empty space in your heart.

Still, it’s heaven enough to hold Sara and rock her and clean her stuffy nose off every few minutes. Settling back into the chair and letting Sara’s weight onto your chest, you think that there’s almost nothing that could make this moment more perfect.

And then, you cough.

#svt #seventeen #seventeen mingyu #kim mingyu #mingyu as pseudo-dilf??#mingyu angst #mingyu fluff #mingyu x reader

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