#i want so terribly fucking bad for it to be good
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luvyeni · 2 days ago
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DRUNK LOVERS GAME 𝕼. ( 박원빈 )
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𝓲𝓲 ㅤ𓈒ㅤ𓈒𓈒 ( 박원빈 x fem!reader )   ─── ❛ genre ⸝⸝ smut. content warning. sexual tension, drinking, language, unprotected sex, strangers to lovers word count. 3.6k 「 req? ⦂ yes/no 」 library  !
synopsis … playing a sex drinking game with … even though this is the first time yall met.
𝕼 ㅤ𓈒ㅤ𓈒 yeni’s note .ᐟ based on a card game i saw on tiktok shop 😭
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‘We’re hosting a sleepover , tonight and since you’ll be here you have to participate’ should’ve been a red flag , why as college students would you have a sleepover?
correction; sleepover meant your roommate’s were inviting their boyfriends over to spend the night and they had a friend who was single and your roommates had the bright idea of setting you two up for the night. “come on , he’s super cute.” isa stood in your doorway. “don’t you have a boyfriend?”
“yes , but i also have eyes and i can see that wonbin is super cute.” she flopped down on your bed. “and you’re hot too , and you’re both single.” she said. “you two are a perfect match.” you turned around in your chair to face her. “im not having sex with him just so you can have sex with yours without feeling bad that i have to hear how loud you are being.” you turned to your other roommate chloe who was now standing in your doorway. “you either.”
“we never said you had to have sex with him.” isa said. “just don’t be a bitch to him, be nice and make him feel welcomed.” both of your roommates now sitting on your bed. “does he even know he’s about to be set up?” they looked at each other. “well sorta , seunghan felt bad leaving him alone in the apartment , so we told them to invite him over and we’ll introduce him to someone.” chloe said. “you being that someone.”
you sighed , you really didn’t want to do this; but where were you gonna go? it’s 10:30 and all your friends are gonna be occupied so you can’t go drink. “fuck it , fine i’ll entertain the guy my friends and their boyfriends sold me to for the night.” you said standing up. “okay now go get changed.” you stared at them. “and why would i do that?” you looked down at the fresh pajamas you just put on. “these are clean i swear.”
“yn you’re wearing minion pajama pants and a shirt 7 sizes too big for you , who’s shirt is that?” isa said. “it’s my dads , i think.” you said. “it has holes and stains on it.” chloe scrunched up her nose up in disgust. “you said i didn’t have to seduce him.” you stood hand on your hip. “yeah you also don’t have to run him away purposely ; take the damn thing off and change into a shirt little appealing and with less stains and holes.” your grumbled , going into your closet. “im keeping the pants on.” you turned around showing them the tank top. “appealing enough?”
“perfect that tank makes your boobs look nice and plump.” you rolled your eyes; taking your shirt off throwing it to the floor. “my comfy shirt replaced by this tank all in the sake of a boy i’ve never met.” you put the shirt on. “good.” they both gave you a thumbs up. “the pants are terrible , but he won’t be paying much attention to those especially when your boobs are literally all perked up like that.”
you helped set up the the food and blankets up for the movie. “these blankets here; yeah throw them away in the morning i want nothing to do with them after you all use them during the movie.” you shook disgusted. “don’t think like that yn.” isa said. “yeah , we’re all adults we’ll just get up and go into the room.” they both smirked while you looked mortified. “im gonna throw up.” you said; just as someone knocked on the door. “oh yn go get that ; isa is still doing that over there, and i have to go to bedroom to get some more things.”
you got up from the chair; going over to the door, opening it , the three boys standing in front of you; you’ve met sungchan and seunghan in passing , but you’ve never fully hung out with them. “hi.” seunghan said. “yn right?” you nodded. “yeah , they don’t have another roommate that i'm aware of so that would be me.” the one behind them chuckled. “come in, they're finished setting up.” you said , stepping to the side to let them in. “hannie!” you watched isa stop what she was doing to run over and hug the boy, chloe coming out to greet sungchan. “what’s that?” you pointed to the bag in her hands. “oh nothing , just something for later.” she said ominously. “oh that’s frightening.”
wonbin was fine with staying home; he really was, but his roommates had other ideas. “it’s just for one night.” sungchan said. “and yn is a nice girl.” seunghan said. “you just said you’ve only said hi and bye to her.” he said. “yeah and she was nice each and every time.” the younger boy said. “they don’t want her to feel left out in her own apartment , and it’s not like you have anything to do.”
and that’s how wonbin found himself in your apartment; staring at a girl in minion pajamas. “nice pajamas.” you looked down , back at him. “thank you.” both your friends forget about the both of you. “im yn.” you held your hand out. “you can shake it , i don’t bite.” he smiled , taking your hand shaking it. “see , unharmed , come on.” you said guiding him to the living room. “sorry my friends pushed me on you.” you said , chloe slapped your shoulder. “yn don’t say it like that , be nice.” she said , wonbin laughed; you were funny he had to admit, blunt but funny. “that was being nice , it wasn’t an attack on him.” you shot back. “she’s not always this bad.” she said. “she’s 10 times worst.” isa said sitting on seunghans lap. “trust once she’s had a drink she’ll soften up.”
“well let’s hope she does.” he said, staring at you as you walked; you were cute, talking to yourself in the kitchen as you prepared the drinks for everyone. “go help her.” sungchan said , he nodded , sitting his bag down following you into the kitchen. “do you need help?” you turned around to face the boy. “sure , you can be useful.” you handed him the bottles of soju , you held the cups , walking back into the living room. “thank you yn.” seunghan said , you nodded , sitting on the floor to give them space on the couch; wonbin sat down next to you.
the six of you sat around the table; eating food, drinking and joking around together. it was all fun , and wonbin wasn’t bad at all either. he was super nice and sweet , he poured your drinks , and got you food. he ever laughed at your horrible jokes when your friends didn’t. “he’s a better friend than you two are and i’ve known him for 3 hours.” you said, your friends rolling their eyes. “he even complimented my minion pants.” wonbin laughed next to you, you really did soften up once you had a drink. “he’s my new friend you two can go.”
“yeah? wonbin you agree with this?” seunghan said , his arm around isa. “of course.” wonbin responded , his knee bumping against yours, you both hadn’t even realized how close you’ve become. “so you both wouldn’t mind coupling up for the night to play a game?” chloe said. you both turned to each other. “are they trying to trick us?” you asked. “what game.” wonbin said , taking a sip of his drink. “it’s a drinking game.”
isa pulled the box of cards from the bag you saw earlier, you stared suspiciously at the box as she sat them on the table. “drunk lovers drinking game?” you read the box. “are you serious?” you scoffed. “why do you buy such nonsense?” your friend smiled. “late online shopping with a bottle of soju , now we have this.” she said. “let’s play.” everyone agreed , wonbin turned to you. “you wanna play.” he asked , you shrugged. “what’s the worst that could happen?”
“lick your partner below the waist or drink twice.” your eyes widened as you watched sungchan lift up isa’s shirt , licking right below her waists. “what the hell is this game.” you snatched the box off the table , reading it off. “what does it say?” wonbin said. “there’s two decks of cards , the pink ones are more tame and the black ones are….” you trailed off. “dirty.”
how the hell were you and wonbin gonna play this game? “chloe it’s your turn.” your friend picked up a pink card. “share your thoughts on an open relationship or drink once.” she read , sungchan sat up. “don’t you dare pick that drink up. “what !? i wasn’t.” she said. “don’t you two start fighting.” isa said. “go on.” sungchan said. “obviously i hate it , if you ever think of asking to go open it up , the cops will only find your ear.” she said turning to her boyfriend. “and what do you think about them?” she said , wonbin watched you look at the couple on the couple who clearly were in love with amusement , he then looked at the card game — which one was he supposed to pick , the pink one was based on relationship questions; he hardly knew you , as sweet and attractive you were , he’d only known you for 3 hours.
and he couldn’t pick up the black one; once again he knew you and what if he gets a super dirty one. “okay yn , you go.” you looked around the table; the pink ones were the obvious safe choice. “just chose the pink one.” wonbin said; you picked the card up , reading off it. “maintain intimate eye contact with your partner, first one of you to laugh had to take a drink.” you read , okay it’s not so bad. “oh yn is laughing first forsure.” isa said.
you and wonbin faced each other; you could already feel your face heating up, wonbin was extremely attractive and his eyes were naturally sensual and intimate. “i don’t know wonbin looks like he’s gonna break first , his hands look a little shaky.” it felt like forever before you just couldn’t take it anymore , you let out a shaky awkward laugh , looking away. “told you.” isa said , wonbin smirked , watching you take a shot , fanning your hot face. “yn you need a minute?” chloe smirked , you gave her the finger. “wonbin your turn.”
he went to reach for a pink card , when sungchan put his hand in front of it. “come on switch it up man , they already did two pinks.” he moved his hand over to the black deck , praying he didn’t get something drastic. “read it.” seunghan said; he turned the card around to red , his face turn it red. “what does it say?” you asked , he showed you the card , your eyes widened. “we can’t do that.”
“what does it say?” chloe asked , everyone looking interested in the answer. “recreate your partners favorite sex position.” wonbin said. “well.” isa said. “yn what’s your favorite position.” your eyes widened at the sudden invasion of your privacy. “we-well.” you scratched the back of your neck. although he was just as floored as you , he still was curious. “it’s missionary , but that’s not the point we can’t — lay back.” wonbin said , everyone turning to him. “huh?”
“yeah huh?” sungchan said; it might’ve been the alcohol talking , or maybe it was you being all flustered; but he just said fuck it. “i said lay back.” he repeated. “bu-but —if you don’t you have to take five shots of soju.” isa threw at you , the group on the couch oohing in a dramatic way. “what , the card says two.” you shot back. “my game , my rules.” you were gonna kill her. “go on.” chloe said. “you can do it.”
you couldn’t; you really couldn’t — but you did , you laid back on the floor. wonbins hands came up to your calf’s , pushing your legs apart , slotting himself in between; his hands on both sides of your head, he was now hovering above you; his gold chain dangling in front of your face. “how long do we have to do this.” wonbin asked. “the card says a minute.” he looked down at you ; taking in your face, your eyes were shut tight , hands in little fists. you could feel his lower half pressed against yours meanwhile he was thinking about ever unappealing thing he could think of so he wouldn’t get hard. you finally opened your eyes , and he prayed the time would finally come before you could feel him. “okay , times up.”
the two of you quickly unattached yourselves from each other. “wow both of you are extremely flustered right now.” chloe laughed. “shut up , just go.” you said , unable to look at anyone; especially the boy next to you who was the exact same way.
the rest of the game was not easy; in fact it seems like the game got even worse; the cards got even raunchy, even the pink ones seemed too much for you. “okay yn that’s the last card and it’s yours.” sungchan said , and it was a black one. you turned to wonbin who was already missing a shirt due to his last card pick , now that you weren’t complaining too much about , but you could already see his skin beet red; the godforsaken gold chain laying on his bare chest. “hey yn stop staring and go.” isa teased , making them laugh. “shut up.” you picked the card up. “give your partner a hickey.”
wonbin felt like he was going through the wringer already with this game; and this , your lips on his neck — how the hell was he gonna get through the night with a fucking hard on? the soju was gone so you couldn’t drink. “it’s the last card , let go out with a bang before we watch movies.” chloe said , wiggling her eyebrows. “o-okay.” you turned to wonbin. “how the hell do i do this?” you said to yourself. “just , come here.” he pulled you into his lap. “oh look how fast they’re moving.” seunghan said tipsy from the alcohol. “shut up.” wonbin said. “you’ve given a hickey before?”
“of course.” you said , just not to a boy you met five hours ago , and especially not a boy this attractive. “move your head to the side.” he felt your lips on his neck and he swore he almost let out a moan; and both your friends were cheering you both on. he clenched his fist to keep himself from letting out a noise as you sucked on his neck. after like 2 minutes of you sucking on his neck you finally pulled away, a red blotch appearing on his skin , you quickly climbed off the boy. “okay , game over.” you said. “let’s watch the movie.”
you grabbed all the empty bottles; running into the kitchen to throw them in the trash. wonbin grabbed the extra trash following behind you to leave the couples to clean up the card game. “you okay?” he said , you nodded , not turning around. “i-im fine.” you stuttered out , you finally turned around. “put your shirt back on.” you said. “why are you flustered still.” he smirked. “no , it’s cold.” you said , running past him back into the living room, he laughed to himself throwing the trash out, making his way back into the living room.
“you’ll thank us later for this.” isa said. “will i? how will this benefit me?” you said. “look at wonbins eyes and tell me he doesn’t want to fuck you , that’s how it will.” you two broke up your little circle , making your way back to the floor. “here.” he sat down next to you , handing you a blanket. “you said it’s cold.” he said. “i said you’re cold.” you mumbled to yourself. “yeah , i am.” he said, moving closer to you , putting the blanket over both of you. “but now im not.” he smiled , just as the lights went out.
you could feel the warmth of his body against yours as you watched the movie , you could barely keep your eyes on the tv instead your attention was on wonbin. you felt a pillow to the back of the bed which made both of you turn around; isa and seunghan making their escape. “where the hell did chloe go?” you said. “oh they left like 30 minutes ago; you two were too busy watching the movie.” seunghan said. “more like watch each other.” isa said. “good night.” you waved them off , standing up. “where are you going?” wonbin spoke up. “im going to my room.” you said. “no stay.” he said , grabbing your wrist. “the movie isn’t over.”
you sat back down on the floor next to him; looking forward at the tv ; but you could tell he wasn’t looking at the movie — he was looking at you. “i know you can feel me staring at you.” he whispered. “i-i can.” you said. “why-why though?” you finally turned to him. “why are you looking at me?”
“because i think you’re pretty.” he confessed; your heart skipped a beat. “thank you; you’re not to bad yourself.” you tried to sound confident , that was until he leaned in , his face close to yours; his eyes traveling down to your lips. “because i think you want to kiss me right now.” he said , you gulped nervously. “i want to kiss you.” he said. “so bad.” he whispered , his lips practically ghosting over yours. “so fucking mnph.” you closed the short gap between you two; you didn’t know what came over you; maybe it was the alcohol or the game , but you couldn’t hold back anymore. “shit.” he pulled away with a chuckle. “that was a real desperate kiss.” he teased. “almost like you’ve been waiting for it.”
“get up.” he said , moving to the couch. “come here.” he beckoned you over. “take these off.” he said. “you take them off.” you gathered all the confidence you could to say that; he smirked , sitting up from his manspreading position. “okay.” he pulled you closer towards his face , planting a kiss on your waist. he slowly undid the tie on your pants; he stared up at you as he pulled your pants down your legs. “such cute pants , but you’re wearing these slutty panties underneath.” he said , you bit your to contain a moan as he teasingly pulled back the elastic of your panties , letting it snap against your skin. “such pretty noises.” he pulled your panties down. “and an even prettier pussy.”
he pulled you down; you straddled his waist. “you showed me your favorite position right?.” his thumb on your clit , rubbing figure eights. “wo-wonbin.” you moaned , but he shh’d you. “we gotta be quiet,” he said. “can you be quiet?” you nodded. “good , now let me show you mine.” he held your waist , and he stood up lightly to pull his pants down just enough to free his cock. “fuck it’s so hard.” he groaned , his tip was red. “been feeling this way since i felt your little pussy throbbing for me earlier,” he said. “is that what you wanted?” he cock pressing against your hole. “for me to feel how desprare your pretty cunt was for her to be filled up.”
he guided you down on his cock; your cunt gripping him like a vice. “oh fuck.” he leaned back against the couch , head thrown back. “that’s it -fuck- work my cock.” you began to move your hips , grinding your hips back and forth. “won-wonbin fuck.” you grabbed his shoulders to steady yourself. you weren’t planning on going this far with him but here you were , both of you struggling to keep quiet as his cock dragged along your walls. “fuck baby , we gotta speed this up.” he groaned , his hair stuck to his forehead. “shit , let me take over.”
he grabbed your waist , bouncing you on his cock. “oh my god.” you gasped , your head falling in between his neck where you left the hickey. “mhm , fuck leave some more.” he moaned as you suck on his neck. “fuck , your little cunt feels so good.” the slapping noises drowning out the movie. “keep doing that.” you moaned against his skin , you felt so good bouncing on his dick. “fuck , wanna feel you cum around me.” he said. “you gonna cum for me?” he brought his fingers where you two were connected , rubbing circles. “m’gonna cum.”
“cum for me.” he pressed his lips against yours to swallow up your moans as you came around him. “oh fuck.” he pulled away. “fuck im gonna cum.” he said in a hushed tone. “sh-shit.” he lifted you off of him , his load shooting from his thick cock , covering your thighs; your body fell against his chest as you came down from your highs. “hey.” he whispered. “we gotta clean up.” he said. “let’s go to my room.” you said , you wanted more. “you want more?” he smirked , you nodded.
“well then you’re gonna explain to them in the morning , cause i don’t care how much noise you make , i wanna hear how good im fucking you.”
“how did you have a better night than we did?” isa said the next morning. “you two were at for 2 fucking hours , our couch yn on the couch we sit there.” chloe shrieked. “you two couldn’t make it to the room , you were on the floor when we left.” isa said. “it just happened , don’t blame me.” you threw your hands up in defense your phone buzzing , wonbins name popping up you smiled. “look at you , who’s fault is it then if not yours?” you shrugged , picking up your phone to answer.
“soju and drunk lovers game.”
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servndipityz · 17 hours ago
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namgyu with alternative reader? perchance.. smut🫶🫶😁
a/n ── i'm so nervous about this one! i hope i didn't do a terrible job on portraying alt culture (i know nothing about it). i kinda tried to make it not super specific so anyone can feel identified. again, sorry if it's lowkey bad. it's also my first time writing smut, believe it or not, but i've had years of experience reading it so i don't think it's that bad. enjoy :)
STRIPPED
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warnings ── smut, +18 MDNI!!! porn w plot. drug usage, sex under the influence, sex in a club, fingering, orgasm denial, degradation, light choking, kinda brat taming? p in v, unprotected sex, creampie.
word count ── 4.6k
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he'd ended up there. of course, he'd ended up there. only someone as unlucky as him could wind up at some fucking goth party. or punk. or… whatever. he didn't really care about the whole thing—the dramatic makeup, the dyed hair, the incredibly loud music blaring through the club. none of it.
nam-gyu had envisioned a chill night on his free day, but no. of course, his co-worker had to get sick. of course, nam-gyu owed him money for the pills he'd given him last week. of course, he had to cover for him that night.
and, of course, it was alternative night at club pentagon. usually, his co-worker handled these kinds of nights—special events, themed parties, all that.
what did nam-gyu know about alternative culture anyway? he wondered the same thing as he weaved through the crowd, making sure everyone was having a good time, keeping an eye on bar sales.
so far, he'd been stepped on twice—not too bad, except when it came from one of those platform boots everyone seemed to be wearing. those hurt like hell. but at least the night was going smoothly. for now.
so good, in fact, that nam-gyu figured it was time for a drink. he'd been working for hours, making sure this party ran smoothly. he owed that co-worker a lot of drug money, and this was the only way to settle it. it’s not like he’d ever do this out of the kindness of his heart.
he made his way to the nearest counter, resting his elbows on the cool marble as he waited for someone to take his order. he couldn't help but wonder how anyone could actually dance to this loud-ass english music that sounded more like screaming. he'd take the regular techno dj any day.
meanwhile, you finished pouring a vodka red bull and handed it off to yet another customer. that's when you noticed him.
he stood out—not in a good way.
hunched over the counter, inspecting it like he might find some cocaine stuck in it (which, honestly, he probably would if he looked hard enough), looking like a wet rat. his clothes gave him away. who even let him in like that? plain black shirt, black jeans, a couple of rings.
he looked up as you approached.
his first thought was that your leather top made your tits poke out. his second was that, without all that emo makeup, you'd actually be pretty cute.
his third was what the highest-alcohol-content drink he could order was.
he opened his mouth to ask, eyes flicking to the bottles behind you—
but you spoke first.
"you're ruining the vibe, man."
he frowned, caught off guard.
you just raised an eyebrow, speaking over the loud music. "i said, you're ruining the vibe."
"i'm not doing anything," he scoffed, annoyed. he just wanted to order his damn drink. last thing he needed was some lecture.
"exactly," you said. "you don't belong here. what are you even doing?"
not like you actually cared. you were here to do your job, bartend, make money, go home. but this guy—standing there, stiff shoulders, sharp jawline, judging everything and everyone, probably without even realizing it—looking at you like that, eyes dragging over you like you were some kind of curiosity—
yeah. he rubbed you the wrong way.
being alternative, you already got judged enough. the last thing you needed was someone doing it at an alternative party.
he frowned even further. "i'm here to work. not that it's any of your business."
that caught you off guard for a second. "you work here?" your head tilted, curiosity slipping into your tone. you leaned over the counter, the neckline of your top shifting just a little lower. who knew—if this guy was someone important, you had to use all your charms. especially after being so rude. "i've never seen you around, and i always bartender at these kinds of parties."
his gaze flickered down your cleavage before snapping back to your eyes. but you saw it. the way his jaw clenched, the way he suddenly looked more annoyed than before—like he was mad at himself for looking.
"i'm not thrilled either," he mumbled, clearly uninterested in conversation. "just covering for a friend. now, could you actually do your job and get me something to drink?"
you bristled at his tone, raising a brow as you turned to the shelves of bottles. "jeez, someone's grumpy. what can i get you?"
in reality, nam-gyu wasn't grumpy. well, he was, but that was just how he was. it was just... for some reason, you made him nervous. the girls he usually dealt with at clubs were boring bitches trying to get a VIP card or whatever drugs he had in his pocket.
you were the opposite. rude. annoying. and he didn’t like that. but for some reason, it made his blood rush somewhere else, clouding his brain.
"just give me a shot," he said after a pause. "something strong."
you turned your head slightly, a smile playing on your lips—the kind that sent a shiver down his spine. you walked back to the counter, reaching for a bottle hidden underneath.
"drinking on the job?" you asked while pouring the liquid into a shot glass, then casually grabbing a second one.
nam-gyu let out a short, amused huff. if drinking was the worst thing he’d done on the job, he’d be in a much better place. but he watched curiously as you poured the second shot, his eyes flicking up through his lashes, brow slightly raised.
"what?" you asked playfully. "if you’re doing it, so can i."
you finally set the bottle back and raised your glass. he mirrored you, his eyes never leaving yours. there was something in his expression—almost a smile. you entertained him.
"cheers," you said, clinking your glass against his before downing the shot in one go. he followed suit, setting the glass back on the counter, suppressing a grimace at the sharp burn of alcohol.
“so,” you said, clearing your throat slightly after the shot. “who’s the friend you’re covering for?”
nam-gyu said the name, and your eyes widened.
“that junkie, huh?” you smirked. he chuckled. “yeah, i know him. he’s a little more talkative than you, though.”
nam-gyu narrowed his eyes. “what’s that supposed to mean?”
“nothing. it’s okay to be shy.” your voice was innocent, teasing, calculated. you'd decided that you'd had enough, that you might as well have some fun. “anyway, my shift’s almost over. wanna get out of here?”
“i’m not shy.” he sounded offended, then glanced away, considering your offer. “and i told you, i’m working.”
you huffed. “fine. just needed someone to smoke this with." you reached into your back pocket and pulled out a tiny zip-lock bag filled with greens. "guess i'll have to find somebody else."
now that caught his attention. maybe almost as much as your exposed skin did. suddenly, he was interested. but also suspicious.
“what do you have?” he asked, leaning slightly over the counter, his voice lower, more serious.
“your junkie friend gave it to me for a gig i did. said it’s good shit.” you shrugged, playing it cool, acting uninterested—like you didn’t know exactly what you were doing. and he took the bait.
“why would you wanna share it with me?” he still sounded wary, but there was something else in his tone now. curiosity. maybe even something close to interest.
you groaned dramatically. “look, i’m heading to the staff room. you coming or not?” you said, already turning away, signaling to your co-worker that your shift was over.
now, nam-gyu didn’t need weed. not exactly. he could probably find ten of those zip-lock bags hidden in his place, forgotten in favor of other, harder drugs. but he also wasn’t the kind of guy to say no to free drugs.
especially not from such a petty girl.
you grinned to yourself as you felt him rush to walk behind you, trailing after you through the club like he didn’t know the way like the back of his hand.
as you reached the hallway leading to the staff room, nam-gyu couldn’t help but let his gaze linger on your half-ripped fishnets, the way they framed your legs under that short black skirt. was he here for the weed or for you? he wasn’t really sure, and he didn’t care much.
you finally reached the door, slipping past a few couples too caught up in each other to notice, and he shut it behind him. the staff room was small, dingy, and reeked of bleach and cigarette smoke, but you still sank onto the worn-out sofa next to the table like it was the most comfortable place in the world.
you leaned back, stretching your legs out just enough for your skirt to ride up slightly. not too much—just enough to make him notice. and he did.
nam-gyu stood near the door for a second, like he was reconsidering this, before scoffing to himself and dropping onto the couch beside you. he was close, not touching, but enough that the warmth of him was noticeable. enough that when he exhaled, you could feel the faintest brush of his breath against your shoulder.
"roll it," he said, nodding at the bag in your hand.
you raised an eyebrow. "you're really bad at asking nicely, huh?"
he just looked at you, serious. "you’re really bad at shutting up."
that made you laugh. he was watching you now—really watching you—as you pulled out the papers, fingers working effortlessly, licking the edge just to see his reaction. you weren’t disappointed. his jaw flexed again, his eyes dark, tracking your every move like he was trying to pretend he didn’t care. like he wasn’t already leaning back, manspreading, trying to act like he had the upper hand here.
cute.
you tucked the blunt between your lips, lighting it, taking a slow drag before passing it to him.
nam-gyu hesitated, just for a split second, then took it, bringing it to his mouth. his fingers brushed yours in the handoff, and it was stupid how that tiny touch sent something sharp down your spine. or maybe it was just the way he inhaled, head tilting back, exposing the sharp line of his throat as he exhaled, smoke curling lazily from his lips.
you licked yours.
the weed hit, slow and warm. the music outside was muffled, the sounds of the party fading into the background, leaving only this—dim lighting, the scent of smoke and alcohol and something else, something charged.
"you always do this?" nam-gyu asked after a beat, voice lower, lazier. "lure random guys into the staff room for a smoke?"
you smirked, tilting your head. "only the rude ones."
he huffed, shaking his head, but you saw the corner of his mouth twitch like he was trying not to smile. he passed the blunt back, his fingers lingering just a second longer this time. you let them.
the room felt smaller. warmer.
"you always this uptight?" you asked, taking another slow hit. "or just with me?"
nam-gyu let his head roll against the back of the couch, watching you through heavy-lidded eyes. "you always this annoying? or just with me?"
you exhaled smoke, letting it curl between you. "you like it."
he didn’t answer. but he also didn’t look away.
you were both leaning back now, legs almost brushing, breaths slow and measured like you were both pretending not to notice the heat building between you.
nam-gyu wet his lips, head still resting against the couch, eyes flicking to your mouth before he caught himself and looked away. like it was a habit. like he was trying so fucking hard not to slip.
you took one last hit before stubbing out the blunt in the ashtray beside you. then, shifting slightly, you turned toward him, letting your knee press against his thigh. deliberate. slow. testing.
"you're staring," you murmured.
he scoffed, but it came out weaker than he probably meant. his hands clenched into fists on his thighs like he was keeping himself still on purpose.
"you’re high," he muttered, looking away.
"so are you." you tilted your head, voice dropping, playing with the edge of your ripped fishnets like you weren’t watching the way his gaze followed the movement of your fingers. "and what, does that mean i can’t see the way you’ve been looking at me all night?"
nam-gyu exhaled sharply, dragging a hand through his hair. "i haven’t been—"
"you have," you cut in smoothly, shifting closer, feeling the warmth of his body now, solid and tense. "you’re mad about it. i can tell."
his jaw clenched.
"tell me," you purred. "are you mad because you don’t like it? or mad because you do?"
his fingers twitched on his thigh. his breathing was heavier, controlled, like he was still fighting it. fighting you.
so you leaned in, lips just close enough to ghost over his ear. "it’s okay," you whispered. "you can touch me."
and that was it.
nam-gyu moved so fast you barely had time to smirk before he grabbed you by the back of the neck, his lips crashing into yours, hot and desperate, all teeth and pent-up frustration. his other hand found your waist, yanking you onto his lap, and fuck—he wasn’t holding back anymore.
he was done fighting it.
and so were you.
his lips were all heat, all pressure—nothing hesitant, nothing soft. you barely had a second to adjust before his teeth caught your bottom lip, his fingers gripping the nape of your neck like he wanted to own you. his other hand, firm on your waist, yanked you flush against him, and fuck—he was hard.
not that he acknowledged it. not that he’d ever admit that you’d done this to him.
your knees bracketed his hips as you settled onto his lap, rolling your hips down just enough to feel him. his grip tightened, nails digging into the meat of your waist. he hissed against your mouth—half warning, half surrender.
“you don’t play fair,” he muttered, lips grazing your jaw now, teeth scraping skin, testing.
your fingers tangled into his hair, tugging hard enough to make him grunt. “neither do you.”
his hands dropped—one to your thigh, sliding under your skirt, fisting in the torn mesh of your fishnets. the other traced the curve of your ass before shoving you down against him again, this time deliberate, a slow grind that made both of you exhale sharp.
his breath was uneven, warm against your throat. “you think i haven’t noticed?” his fingers curled, gripping tight enough to bruise. “the way you’ve been—” a sharp pull at the fishnets, a rip, cool air hitting skin—“fucking teasing me?”
you laughed, half-gasping when his tongue flicked against the pulse at your neck.
his fingers dipped, pressing against the damp heat of your panties, no patience, no hesitation. his other hand was now tangled in your hair, keeping you locked right where he wanted—breath hitching as he rubbed slow, teasing.
then his hand moved, fingers slipping beneath the fabric, warm against your skin, sliding between your thighs. the first touch was barely there, just a single fingertip running along your slit, slow, teasing.
you squirmed, but he didn’t let you go. “look at you,” he murmured, mocking, the pad of his finger dragging over your cunt, pressing just enough to make you shudder. “all that attitude, but you’re already—” he exhaled sharply, felt it before he even had to say it—so fucking wet.
"fuck," he muttered, more to himself than to you, his forehead resting against yours for a second like he was trying to collect himself. but his fingers were still moving, sliding along the slickness of you, testing, exploring, spreading it just enough to make you squirm.
"yeah?" you murmured, voice breathy, teasing. "you like that?"
his only response was a low, quiet curse under his breath before he pressed his fingers in deeper, the tips just barely pushing inside before pulling back, slow and torturous. he was watching you now, eyes dark and half-lidded.
and then, without warning, he slid one finger in, slow but firm, curling just enough to make your breath catch. your nails dug into his shoulders, and his other hand tightened on your hip, holding you steady.
"fuck," you whispered, rolling your hips into his touch, chasing it, needing more.
nam-gyu chuckled, low and smug, and then he added a second finger, stretching you just a little more, fucking you slow and deep with just his hand. the angle was perfect, his fingers pressing against that spot inside you that made your toes curl, made your breath come faster, needier.
"you’re so fucking tight," he murmured, more fascinated than anything, watching the way his fingers disappeared inside you, the way you clenched around them. he twisted his wrist slightly, his palm pressing against your clit as he fucked you with his fingers, setting a rhythm that had you grinding against him, chasing that pressure.
your moan was quiet but desperate, and he smirked, eyes flicking up to yours.
"you always this easy?" he murmured, his voice taunting, dark.
you opened your mouth to snap something back, but then he crooked his fingers just right, pressing deeper, and your words dissolved into a gasp, your head tipping back. his lips were on your throat a second later, sucking, biting, leaving marks you’d have to cover up later.
his pace picked up, fucking you harder with just his fingers, each drag of his palm against your clit sending another sharp wave of heat curling low in your stomach. the room was quiet except for the sound of your breathy moans, his heavier breathing, the slick sounds of his fingers working you open.
"you gonna come?" he murmured against your skin, his voice rough now, strained.
you swallowed hard, your fingers tightening in his hair, nails scraping against his scalp. "fuck—don’t stop," you breathed.
nam-gyu felt it—felt the way your body tensed, the way your thighs shook against his hips, the way you were right there, so fucking close. he could see it too, in the way your mouth parted, in the soft, breathy little gasps escaping your lips, the ones you were trying to swallow back like you didn’t want to give him the satisfaction.
but he wasn’t that generous.
just when you thought he’d let you tip over, when your body clenched down around his fingers so tight he could barely move them, he pulled away.
just—gone.
the sudden loss was so sharp, so fucking unfair, that you let out a frustrated, needy little whine before you could stop yourself, your hips rolling forward, chasing after the feeling, after his hand, anything. but nam-gyu just sat back, bringing his wet fingers up to his lips, slipping them into his mouth with a slow, deliberate hum.
"mm," he mused, tongue flicking over them, eyes locked on yours. "not bad."
"are you fucking kidding me?" you were panting, legs still shaking where you straddled him, your body on fire, needing more, needing anything. your eyes flashed, your hands curling into fists against his chest like you were two seconds away from either punching him or ripping his shirt off.
he just smirked. "what?"
"you—" you gritted your teeth, your nails digging into the fabric of his shirt. "you’re such a fucking asshole."
nam-gyu chuckled, low and lazy, his hands dragging up your thighs again, thumbs pressing into the soft flesh just to remind you he still had you exactly where he wanted you. "maybe, but you're still here," he murmured. "still dripping for me."
"yeah, because you didn’t let me cum, you dick," you snapped, rocking forward again, grinding against him, feeling the hard, thick press of him through his pants. he was just as worked up as you were, and you could tell—he was trying to play it cool, but his breathing was heavier, his fingers twitching against your skin like he was barely holding himself back.
that made you smirk. "ohhh," you taunted, rolling your hips again, slower this time, watching his jaw clench. "that’s why, huh? you’re hard as fuck and don’t wanna finish before i do."
his eyes darkened, his grip tightening on your hips. "watch your fucking mouth."
"or what?" you leaned in, brushing your lips against his ear, letting your breath tickle his skin. "you gonna do something about it?"
that was it.
one second you were teasing him, playing your little game, and the next you were flat on your back, your spine pressing into the shitty, worn-out couch, his body caging you in. his hand was already shoving your skirt up, fingers hooking into your panties and dragging them down your thighs, not even bothering to be careful.
"you talk too much," he muttered, voice rough, breath hot against your jaw.
"and you do too little," you shot back, just to push him, just to make him snap again.
it worked.
his hand was on your throat, not squeezing, just there, just pressing, just reminding you that he could if he wanted to. his other hand yanked at his belt, the metal buckle clinking as he undid his pants, as he shoved them down just enough to free himself.
fuck.
you’d felt it before, pressing against you, teasing, but now you saw it. thick, flushed, leaking at the tip, the kind of length that made your thighs press together instinctively, made you bite your lip even as you refused to let him see you flustered.
nam-gyu saw it anyway.
"knew you wanted it," he muttered, running the head of his cock along your slit, dragging it slow through your wetness. "acting like a brat, but your pussy’s already begging."
"shut the fuck up and—"
he pushed in, just an inch, just enough to make you gasp, make your nails dig into his arms.
"yeah?" he exhaled sharply, his jaw tight, like he was already holding himself back. "that what you wanted?"
you barely had time to adjust before he thrust forward again, burying himself deep, stretching you in one slow stroke that left your back arching, your head tipping back against the couch.
"fuck—"
nam-gyu groaned, low and almost desperate, his forehead pressing against yours as he bottomed out, as he let you feel every fucking inch of him.
"you feel that?" he murmured, breath ragged, his hips rolling just a little, just enough to make you whimper. "how tight you are? how you’re fucking squeezing me?"
you couldn’t answer. you couldn’t think. all you could do was feel—the way he filled you, the way he stretched you, the way he stayed there for a second, teasing, waiting, making you want it more.
you swallowed, trying to catch your breath. "you gonna move, or you just like teasing your own dick?"
his laugh was low. then he pulled back and slammed into you, knocking the breath from your lungs.
"fuck—"
your back was pressed against the couch, legs spread wide, thighs trembling as he held you open. his body caged yours beneath him, one hand pinning your wrists above your head, the other gripping your hip, keeping you still as he drove into you with rough, unforgiving thrusts. his cock filled you completely—thick, hot, deep—dragging against every sensitive spot inside you, making you gasp with each desperate slap of his hips against yours.
"you gonna be good now?" his voice was low, ragged, dark with amusement. his grip tightened, fingers digging bruises into your skin. "or you still wanna run your mouth?"
you tried. you really did. you opened your lips to snap something back—something mean, something cutting, something to remind him you weren’t easy to break.
but all that came out was a choked moan as he grabbed your chin, forcing your gaze to meet his.
"that’s what i thought," he murmured against your lips, his breath hot, his mouth just barely brushing yours, teasing. "bratty little thing—talking shit. but look at you now."
his hand wrapped around your throat, fingers pressing just enough to keep you in place. not squeezing. just controlling. just owning. his other hand slipped between your bodies, two fingers finding your clit, rubbing slow, teasing circles over the swollen bud.
"fuck," you gasped, your hips rolling up instinctively, chasing that pressure, that friction.
nam-gyu chuckled, low and smug. "yeah? you like that?"
you wanted to tell him to fuck off. you really did.
but then he twisted his fingers just right, his cock hitting that spot inside you at the same time, and your body jerked, your moan breaking into something desperate.
"that’s it," he murmured, his lips brushing against your jaw, his pace still brutal, relentless. "don’t fight it. you wanna cum, don’t you?"
"yes—yeah," you panted, nails scraping against his wrist where he held your throat.
he pulled back suddenly, dragging his cock out until only the tip remained, making you whimper at the loss. his fingers abandoned your clit, and before you could protest, he did something worse—something filthier.
he spat.
the wet warmth of it landed directly on your pussy, slick and obscene. your whole body jolted.
"fuck—" your breath stuttered, your back arching as heat shot through you.
nam-gyu groaned at the sight, at the way you clenched, the way your body reacted so instantly, so helplessly.
"you like that, huh?" his voice was thick with satisfaction, his fingers dragging through the mess, smearing it over you, rubbing it in slow, teasing circles.
you shouldn’t. you really shouldn’t.
but the heat in your stomach coiled even tighter.
"say it," he ordered, his voice rough, his cock pushing back inside you, stretching you open again, slow and deep, making you feel every inch. "tell me you fucking love it."
your pride cracked. your body betrayed you.
"fuck—i love it," you gasped.
nam-gyu groaned, his breath hitching, his pace quickening. "good girl."
and then his fingers returned, rubbing messy circles over your spit-slicked clit, matching the rhythm of his thrusts, pushing you higher, harder—
you were already close. too close.
"fuck—fuck, i’m gonna cum," you choked out, hips jerking against his hand, against his cock, chasing it. "please—please don’t stop—"
and this time he didn’t.
he fucked you through it, his fingers never letting up, his pace relentless, driving you higher, harder, until it finally snapped—
your orgasm hit like a fucking wrecking ball.
your body clenched down on him so tight he cursed under his breath, his rhythm faltering for the first time. the pleasure crashed over you, your whole body shaking as you moaned through it, loud and wrecked, the sound swallowed by the shitty little staff room.
"fuck—fuck, yeah, that’s it," nam-gyu groaned, his grip on your hips bruising now, his thrusts rough and desperate as he chased his own release. "god, you feel so fucking good—"
he buried himself deep, his breath stuttering, his cock twitching inside you, and then he was coming, his grip tightening, his forehead pressing against your shoulder as he groaned low into your skin.
for a second, all you could hear was the ragged sound of your breathing, the quiet hum of the party outside, the distant bass thudding through the walls.
nam-gyu exhaled, slow and shaky, his fingers tracing lazy circles against your waist, still holding you, still pressed against you.
then he pulled out, groaning at the sight of his cum spilling out of you, dripping between your thighs.
he smirked, dragging a lazy finger through it before pressing it against your lips.
"open," he murmured.
you did.
and fuck, the look in his eyes when you sucked it clean—
you were so fucked.
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animation-by-jam · 2 days ago
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[Vent]. My thoughts. I'm not indigenous, so I can not relay the experience as if I could, and their voices matter more than mine. My heart goes out to the people of the letter. I'm writing as a fan who wants to just let out my feelings.
I don't know if it's just me. But I don't know if I can watch another rtvs stream with the whole crew until the rest of them issued their apologies over what happened or actually do something about the hurt they caused. It's obvious by the fan reaction that they're not just friends on the internet anymore and can't just shield themselves to be awful with criticism. Especially over fucking racial discrimination critique.
Especially Mike. Like everyone's initial responses and apologies at the time were bad, but man, that one was just REALLY BAD. Like if it wasn't limited to a discord server, the average rtvs viewer would have just been appalled by the comment and done worse reputation wise level bad. Not even the most dedicated sweep under the rug fans could argue that wasn't good. (Though I did scroll to read the entire situation, and few people tried). But, nope. It was bad. I still don't understand how he could go immediately to a 100 with that. I could give him the benefit of the doubt and say he probably had a shitty day (gamer moment level of exuse. I can't defend that), or idk he was just too aggressive with wanting to defend his friends. But, at the end of the day, that's an excuse, and the words were still typed and caused hurt. The action was still taken, and unfortunately, even *if* he feels terrible over it, he can't take it back. What's done is done, and just make up for it now.
But like I said, even with other mods and members doing the work behind the scenes. And I really hope to god that they do actually address this shit publicly. The longer it could go on, the more people will feel so betrayed (rightfully), and the more fans it will reach to demand something. Like this isn't the hlvrai days anymore rtvs, they have fans that can donate thousands to charity and sell out merchandise within hours. They want to unify the brand together? so they have to GET IT TOGETHER. Act maturely next time. If they aren't able to properly rectify a situation with a problematic sponsor or collaboration in time, then just apologize and listen to people's suggestions. God damn. How hard was it to read a letter that wasn't attacking them. And if anything, they tried really hard to give them so much benefit since it was from Fans. And even if not from fans, still don't treat indigenous people like this (common sense, no?). I know some of the crew are white and, or at this point, privileged to do what they can and probably never had to deal with the unique oppression indigenous people do as most humans never will. But, still. They have to get over it. Read the letter and understand it, and stop trying to act like any criticism is the end of your world/jobs. It will be if most of them don't learn from this incident.
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I have some thoughts on this article (and DEI in general) I'd like to write out, but I'll put it under a cut so it doesn't clog up anyone's feed.
"It was to be an obituary for ‘diversity, equity, and inclusion’ (DEI) a movement that ironically ended up serving as a cover for racism, homophobia, and sexism in the workplace, the media, and academics."
I usually keep my opinions on DEI to myself, because I know it's a controversial topic, and just by disagreeing with DEI concepts I get accused of being conservative, because none of y'all have working brain cells. But that right there sums up my issue with DEI. DEI, to me, is another case of good intentions gone bad.
"I was going to tell you about the time DEI was used to justify saying that turning up on time was the domain of white culture - no one else turns up on time, only white people, and expecting someone to be on time is racist."
It also led to math being deemed as racist, even though math was invented in Ancient Egypt and Mesopotamia, and fine tuned in the Middle East during the Islamic golden age (none of which are white or European). I even read somewhere that one American school district even made the case for not teaching Black students to speak English. I want someone who is pro-DEI to explain to me how that ISN'T racist.
"I was going to bring up Students vs. Harvard, the famous Supreme Court case that ended affirmative action in student admissions, after it was found that affirmative action was being used to racially discriminate on a systemic level against Asian Americans at elite universities."
DEI (and identity politics in general) have made Asians out to be like a subgroup of White people because their cultures strongly encourage academic prowess and achievement. I guess we forgot about the violent anti-Chinese sentiment in the late 19th/early 20th century and the Japanese concentration campus during WWII.
"I could have talked about the tech job fair for ‘women and non-binary people’ that was filled with men."
DEI and trans activism are interconnected, so I'm sorry, but all I can think of when I see or hear the words "diversity, equity, and inclusion" or "DEI" are the rights, language, spaces, and resources of women being given to men in shitty wigs.
"But everyone’s already said that. Underneath all the fancy verbiage of ‘DEI’, we had white women like Robin DeAngelo quite seriously arguing for segregated racial affinity groups and treating black people like aliens."
While I do think oppressed groups deserve to have their own spaces away from their oppressors, I've read horror stories of it being taken too far and essentially reinventing segregation. There's a difference between starting a school club for only Black students and putting Black students into a different class than their White peers.
"School districts in San Francisco argued that black children couldn’t do algebra, and that algebra was racist white supremacy, and therefore schools should be segregated."
Oh yeah, see, the "math is racist" thing I mentioned above.
"Gays and lesbians were either shoved back in the closet or fired if they objected to being told that sexuality was a spectrum and they could change to being heterosexual."
So this and the handing over women's everything to fetishistic men are why I hate DEI. I fucking hate it and this is why. DEI is misogyny and homophobia to me.
"Being racist towards Jews was now noble ‘anti-colonialism’, because a random synagogue in [insert country] caused the war in Gaza, so it deserved to be covered in swastikas."
What's going on over there is terrible. Both sides (the men) are committing horrific atrocities for no good reason. But the quick rise in antisemitism I've seen is concerning. How many times are we going to go through this before everyone learns their damn lesson? You want to pretend you're "progressive" and more enlightened than your parents/grandparents when antisemitism is almost as old as misogyny?
"It got used as a cover for straight white people to say the most ludicrously racist, sexist, and homophobic things imaginable and then be praised for being progressive for saying that black people are inherently less intelligent, the only way to fix racism is more racism, lesbians should suck dick, gay men should cut theirs off, women should put up with being raped in prison cells by male sex offenders and those evil money-grubbing Jews are secretly running the world. It turns out if you use the right canards from whoever your critical theory best boo is, it’s completely fine to be slightly to the right of Adolf Hitler."
I've always wanted DEI to be something that leveled the playing field for women and people of color. That gave us equal footing in the workforce and the government. We should be teaching women's, African, Latin American, and Asian history in schools. But instead, it turned into this.
"It meant that suddenly networks used by gays and lesbians to connect in the workplace were infiltrated by straight people."
I went to an online lesbian workshop where I saw the faces of over a dozen lesbians of all ages. We talked about our generational differences and what we can all do for each other. I kept my camera off because I was sobbing. I know one lesbian and she's my coworker, but she's a huge TRA, and I'm at the point where I can't stand to be around those type of people anymore. "Progressives" destroyed the gay and lesbian communities. They took our spaces, our resources, and even our words. They're the reason I'm all alone, that I'm too afraid to come out to anyone, that I've given up hope of ever meeting a woman. DEI is homophobia to me.
"If you objected to this, you would find a chat to human resources about not being inclusive scheduled in your Outlook calendar."
If you're lucky.
"It’s finding out everything is suddenly under the banner of diversity, equity and inclusion, and that consequently you’re the wrong sort of diversity: a lesbian with boundaries and an opinion, which for these people, is the worst thing ever."
As a lesbian, in theory, I check some of the "diversity" boxes. In practice, I don't, because I'm the "wrong" type of lesbian (a.k.a I don't take dick, even if the dick haver calls himself Misty).
"When you’re faced with this, you have to grin and bear it if you want to stay employable."
I have to distance myself from my coworkers because I will lose everything if they find out my politics do not align with theirs. I have to go in there every day and pretend I like these fake performers who would destroy my life if they knew how I really felt.
"Let me tell you what ‘DEI’ in the workplace is like as a gay person. You have to go in the closet."
I've been able to make my closet space comfortable, at least. It's quiet with lots of pillows and blankets.
"You cannot ardently defend your rights outside of work, and if you use a pseudonym to do so, you had to understand how to protect it, or you were going to be doxxed and lose your job."
I use fake names and don't give out any personal information and I'm still extremely paranoid.
"You turn up to the ‘LGBTI+’ work networks, hoping to meet gay colleagues, but there are none, and now Bob from Accounting is calling himself Lilith and wants to connect with you as a fellow lesbian."
Or Hetty Betty the Admin starts calling herself "queer" even though she's dating a man and has never once expressed interest in women.
"You don’t want to be used as a validation vending machine, or a prop in some straight person’s fantasy about ‘living the queer lifestyle’. You feel like a zoo exhibit at every ‘networking meeting’ for the ‘LGBTQIA+’, as you’re the only real deal in a room full of pretenders, and you stop engaging. You find Bob in the bathroom, attempting to lower his hairline. He tries to talk to you about lesbian girl gossip. You just wanted to sneakily watch five minutes of the Packers game on the toilet in peace, but now there’s a man in your bathroom being a creepy fuck and you’re not allowed to complain about him being there."
I avoid all things "LGBT+" like the plague, because that's what they are. Plagues of homophobic, ugly, smelly straight people.
"You listen to some woman with a husband and three kids at home telling you about how she’s a queer authority, and therefore is righteously delivering you inclusivity training. She’s queer because she dyed her hair purple and bought some Birkenstocks, but she’s never seen another woman’s pussy in her whole damn life, and you keep your damn mouth shut because you don’t want to be fucking fired."
This is my work life and I FUCKING HATE IT!
"If you were butch, suddenly there was a gaggle of straight women assuming you were like them - a gay trans man. When you were fairly clear about your lesbianism, it started to turn hostile. See, your average butch lesbian woman can pass as a man on first inspection without much effort. Their masculinity comes naturally, and some of the attraction for many femme women is the inherent contradiction, the masculine female, somehow still completely masculine even when the adornments come off and reveal the female body underneath.
This provokes jealousy - you become an object of envy and hatred - to the woman pretending to be a man, you are doing what she wants to do - perform masculinity - not only effortlessly, but fully embracing your womanhood while doing so. To the man pretending to be a woman, you remind him of what he will never be, no matter how hard he tries, because you are living proof that womanhood has nothing to do with whatever kind of drag society pronounces as ‘feminine’. Living proof of the old gay maxim that you’re born naked, the rest is drag, you are a walking, talking argument against the veracity of trans ideology. Simply by existing, you undermine their arguments. Thus you must be bullied, if not into hating your own body, and into transition, you must be dehumanized, debanked, unemployed, a pariah, excluded, branded with scarlet letters, held aloft as a great evil. Diversity, equity, and inclusion does not apply for women like you, who really should just transition so we’d all stop being confused."
The medicalization of gender non-conformity is one of the worst aspects of DEI and "progressives" in general. The audacity of these monsters to sit there with fake smiles on their ugly faces as they act like they're morally superior and enlightened to everyone around them, only to go full on 1950s conservatives the second they see a woman with short hair.
"It does not matter if you kowtow or if you say the right words in order to stay employed. The jealousy, the envy, the simmering hatred of one who contradicts their entire belief system simply by existing, that’s something that knows no bounds. You are living wrongthink no matter how many times you respect the pronoun pin, and they will try their best to destroy you in any way they can."
They hide this monstrous face behind buzzwords and fake smiles. Once you see past the facade these self-proclaimed "progressives" have built, you can never look at them the same. I count my lucky stars every day that, for the most part, nobody has shoved their politics too much down my throat, and mostly accept that I don't talk about anything political at work. How much longer this will last, though, I do not know.
"Now anyone who was counted as ‘diversity, equity and inclusion’ faces the accusation that they were only hired based on their identity characteristic and are by default assumed to be incompetent."
This is where the authoress and I may disagree, because I haven't seen much evidence of the so-called "DEI hires". I don't believe this is DEI's biggest problem. In all the search committees I've been on, I've seen this happen once, and it certainly wasn't for a woman or a person of color. It was for a veteran. Some states require you to interview veterans if they apply, regardless of their qualifications. I once had to interview an extremely unqualified veteran for a position in my department. Where's the uproar for that?
"It says it’s ‘LGBTQI+ inclusive’, but all the gay characters ring hollow - then you realize that if you were playing as the opposite sex, they’d all be heterosexual. That’s not really representation, you think. It means there are no actual gay characters in this video game. A playersexual character is not a homosexual character."
Gay and lesbian representation in media is so bad that I don't want it anymore, and I have progressives - not conservatives - to thank for that.
"You try playing something else. All the options to make your character look like you are gated behind calling your character a male, even if they have a ‘body type 2’. You need to select the correct pronouns to wear the leather jacket and if you choose to do so, the game offers to give your avatar ‘top surgery scars’."
Not even that sometimes. One of my favorite video games has all the characters refer to you as "they", regardless of the sex your character is, but you can still tell they intended for the PC to be male, even when trying to be "inclusive" (though in my opinion, it was more the laziness of not wanting to pay voice actors to say a line twice then a desire to be "woke").
"If you say something, suddenly you’re a right-wing chud, not a lesbian who wants genuine representation that was written by an actual lesbian, not a straight man in a dress playing pretend. You think, maybe it’s a corporate thing, these DEI games. You go looking for indie games, but searching ‘lesbian’ on Itch.io brings up two pages of autogynephilic fetish porn games about being a ‘gay mess’. Every time you hear about a ‘lesbian creator’ on social media, you look them up only to find a man staring back at you."
I despise "lesbian" media. DESPISE IT. I know liberals are stupid, so they can't comprehend that it's not right-wing to want genuine representation. And it's either a creepy man with the autogynesmile or a straight woman LARPing as "sapphic" (another term I fucking HATE).
"You try finding other people who are equally incensed about this, but it turns out the most prominent critics are the actual right-wing chuds."
That's my situation. The only ones willing to hear me out and not ostracize and punish me are right wingers. We live in the Twilight Zone now.
"The real problem with all of this, according to them, is that there’s actually women, black people, and homosexuals in media to start with. That’s all woke nonsense, and we need to return to only having straight white men in all forms of media, the workplace, and everything else, before all this woke nonsense took hold and ruined everything with ‘DEI pandering’."
And that's usually where my conversations with them end. It's nice to be able to vent about trans bullshit, but their reasons for hating it are usually so different then mine, so I end up still feeling alone, unheard, and depressed.
"That straight white men, regardless of what they call themselves, are implementing all of this 'forced diversity' or benefiting the most from the hallowed DEI status of 'transgender' is beside the point. Women and minority gamers didn’t ask for ‘body type 2’, they asked for the opportunity to play protagonists that were like them. That’s not ‘DEI pandering’. That’s asking for the same opportunities that their white male counterparts have."
It's true. It's male-driven. Even the annoying as hell diehard female DEI supporters are only this way because they've been told it's the "kind" and "progressive" thing to do.
"It’s now at the point that you know that anything that openly advertises how safe it is for ‘LGBTQI+’, or how inclusive it is, is by default something that will be actively homophobic. Whether it’s a workplace, a retail store, a political party, a film, a video game, a book, a bar."
Yup. I see that ugly "Progress Flag", I know the place is crawling with homophobes. I see any version of that stupid fucking acronym, I steer clear, because it's not for me, it's for straight people.
"You know the more they preach how inclusive they are, the more sexist, homophobic and racist they are in reality. This disease has made itself present in every single cultural aspect of modern life."
Yes, holy shit! It's something I've observed over and over again. I've noticed so many times that the ones who go on and on about being kind are usually the worst people you'll ever have the misfortune of meeting. To quote the Suffragists, "deeds, not words". Those who are actually kind and inclusive don't feel the need to talk about how kind and inclusive they are.
"There is no venue for liberal criticism of any of this, let alone gay criticism. You’re either totally on board with DEI or a drag queen on TV is a harbinger of the pedophile apocalypse."
I hate the binary thinking so much. Your made up "genders" can be "nuanced" or "complex", but political beliefs can't?
"You face the Sophie’s Choice between insidious homophobia, or outright homophobia."
Honestly, I'll take "ok that you're gay just don't talk about it" homophobic from conservatives over "unlearn your genital fetish you gross TERF" homophobia from liberals any day.
"Your cultural world gets smaller, because mass culture has decided it doesn’t want people like you in it, because if you’re a homosexual with boundaries, you’re a bigot. You spend your working life walking on eggshells around Bob from Accounting, especially when he turns up to work dressed like a hooker."
And Hetty Betty from Admin who preaches tolerance while being completely intolerant of anyone who doesn't think like her.
"and paint women and racial minorities as inherently under qualified and incompetent compared to their straight white male colleagues who, in their minds, only got where they were on pure merit."
Talk about a lack of self-awareness (the White men, not the authoress).
"No woman or black person or gay person or someone who’s all three ever got to a high position based on their own merit, instead they got there because of ‘diversity, equity, and inclusion’. They were quota hires. ‘DEI hires’. They’re not real people, real workers, who worked hard to get where they are. It was just handed to them based on their identity. No one wants to be tarred with that brush, but that’s the brush the modern shitlib has successfully tarred every minority group under the sun with. Fuck you."
I hate hearing conservatives yap on about "DEI hires". Quotas are actually an effective way to get women and racial minorities hired. And even if the woman or person of color isn't 100% qualified, so what? Most things can be taught, and so many unqualified white men get hired all the damn time. Everyone's priorities are so fucked.
"In the end, a bunch of privileged and rich straight white people ruined culture, destroyed the gay community, ruined people’s lives, and completely destroyed affirmative action as a concept, all to make themselves feel better. The only thing that’s been achieved is reinforcing old bigotries and setting women and minorities back twenty years. That is the lasting legacy of ‘diversity, equity, and inclusion’."
And that, to those of you who actually decided to read my ramblings, is my problem with the Left and with their initiatives like DEI. They don't actually care about anyone but themselves. They only say they want to help the marginalized to make themselves look good. Women, people of color, gays, the poor - we are nothing but props to them. Pawns to use in their games against the right. I realized this a few years ago, and my god, I can still feel the knife in my back. It makes me want to lose all hope. I can see it in every "caring" action my "woke" coworkers take.
I sit there and listen to them try so hard to make themselves out to be so humble and selfless in their desire to help others, all the while patting themselves and each other on the backs to an insufferable degree, acting like they've saved the world. It comes off as so insincere. I don't even speak at these meetings anymore, because I want my actions to speak for me. Why don't they?
"Let me know when this is all over, and I can go back to being a lesbian at work, and I can play video games as a woman instead of a Body Type 2, and lesbian conversion movies stop being ‘great queer representation.’"
We were there once. It was for a short time, but we were there. We could bring it back again, if we really tried. Maybe someday I'll be proud to be a lesbian again.
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Now that DEI has been sent off to DIE, an obituary to ten years of closeted hell.
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mommyslittlebird · 18 hours ago
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Fairytale
Stepmom!Wanda x Reader
Request: i had a thought of where wanda / step mom wanda comforts reader after a bad day and a lot angst and fluff too
CW: Stepmom/Stepdaughter, themes of depression, spoilers for the Disney movie Tangled (??)
Word Count: 2k (whoops this was supposed to be a drabble. Whatever.)
A/N: Thank you for the request! This takes place when R was 18 before she left for school, so a prequel to the main story of Her Special Girl.
A/N: Fuck my original A/N here that said this one isn't good. This one is cute and I like it.
It was pouring when you finally got home from work. You walked into the house in your uniform, soaked from the rain.
You saw Wanda in the kitchen, fixing dinner. She’s a wonderful cook, but in your current state the food made your stomach turn. You felt nauseous. You hadn’t eaten all day at work, but you still couldn’t imagine eating anything.
Your dad was at the table reading a newspaper. He didn’t acknowledge you’d come home.
“Hey, little love!” Wanda chimed excitedly, but her face falls when her eyes meet yours. You looked terrible, eyes sunken in, dark with exhaustion. You couldn’t even bring yourself to give her a smile. “What’s wrong, sweetheart?”
You didn’t respond, trying to escape to the privacy of your bedroom before the emotions of the day spilled out of you. You dashed up the stairs.
Your dad set down his newspaper with a frustrated thud. He moved to get up and reprimand you for ignoring your stepmother, but Wanda stopped him.
“Vis, you just make sure my pasta doesn’t burn. I’ll take care of it.”
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She found you in your room, curled up in the center of the bed. You were still wearing your wet and dirty work clothes, but you’d thrown on one of Wanda’s hoodie. It practically swallowed you with how big it was. The sight melted Wanda’s heart.
“Sweetheart?” She called into the room. You turned over in bed, hiding your face in the hoodie. She came to sit next to on the bed, rubbing gentle circles on the back you’d turned on her. She could feel then that you were crying. You were silent, but she could feel the erratic way you were breathing as your chest heaved. “What’s wrong, baby? It’s okay. Mama’s here. Mama’s got you honey. Just tell me what’s wrong.”
“I don’t know,” you cried weakly. “I don’t know what’s wrong. It’s just… everyday is like this. I just wake up with this feeling of despair, and then I go to work and everything is so loud and there’s too many smells and I have to pretend to be happy while I make everyone’s coffee, but I’m just so so tired. I feel like my mind and body are screaming and crying for someone to help me, but this is just my life and no one is coming to save me.”
Wanda pulled you into her lap, not caring that you were still soaking wet. She shushed your cries and rocked you back and forth, letting you ramble and sob into her arms. She tucked your wet hair under her chin, pulling you to her chest so you could feel the gentle beating of her heart. “Shhshsh, let it all out honey. You’re home now. Mama’s got you.”
“All I can do is escape to this white knight fairytale where things are different, and I have friends again, and I don’t have to go on like this. But I’m just being repeatedly ripped out of that fairytale and pulled back into this awful reality I have no choice but to live in. I’m a high school drop out, all my friends left me, I hate my job but I’m just going to hate any job that takes up so much of my time. I can pretend all I want that things are or will be different but this is real life and I’m miserable! I’m miserable and I’m going to be like this until I die!” You sobbed, breathlessly heaving into Wanda’s chest.
Wanda felt her heart shatter into a million pieces. She wished she could be your white knight, take you somewhere far away where you didn’t have to worry about all of the awful things happening in your life. She couldn’t imagine what your situation must feel like right now, hopelessly trying to claw your way out of a well you’re stuck at the bottom of. There were things she was working with you on. You were going to get your GED at the end of the year, but it was still going to be another year before you could even start applying to colleges. The road was going to be long, but she was confident you’d pull through.
That wasn’t what you needed right now, though. You didn’t need to hear her say that just maybe, in a whole two years, you might be able to get your life back on track. You needed something now. You needed something to get you through the night.
“How about this,” she proposed, holding your teary face in her hands. “You take a nice warm shower and get all nice and clean while I go downstairs and finish dinner for your dad and the boys. And then I’ll come back up here with some mac and cheese and some chicken nuggets and we have a special girls’ night?”
You sniffled hesitantly, unsure if you could handle it all: the shower, the food, the company. But in the end, you nodded. Your only other option was to sit in here, alone, withering away in your cold work uniform.
“That’s my sweet girl,” she cooed, pinching you lightly on the cheek. “I’ll pick out some pjs for you and get your water running. One step at a time, angel. I know it’s hard, but you can do this.” She gave your hand a reassuring squeeze, and walked off to start your shower.
It felt insurmountable, but you got up, washed yourself off in the shower, and dried off before putting on the pajamas Wanda set out for you. On top, there was a fresh one of her sweatshirts for you to wear. You threw it on, inhaling her sweet scent with your arms up to your nose. You made your way back into your bedroom.
Within five minutes of you getting back, Wanda came knocking on your door with some mac and cheese and microwave chicken nuggets. Your stomach turned at the sight of the food. Even your safest meal felt nauseating.
“I know you don’t wanna eat, love, but you’ve gotta try and eat at least a little bit for me, okay? We’ll start with two nuggets and half of the mac and cheese,” she says.
You nodded, reluctantly taking the plate and working on your mac and cheese.
“Now, I think it’s time for a movie and some cuddles, don’t you think?” Wanda asked, already setting up the pillows and blankets on the bed. “What would you like to watch?”
You shrugged, unable to think of anything helpful while fighting your stomach for cooperation. “You pick.”
Wanda gave you a soft smile of understanding. She understood the inability to make a decision, and she was more than happy to make one in your stead. She ended up putting Tangled on the small tv in your room.
She sat against your headboard, legs spread and tapped the space in between, welcoming you to sit. When you did, she threw your favorite blanket over your shoulders and set your favorite stuffed animal, Thomas, in your lap. You rested your chin on his head.
“Do you want me to braid your hair like Rapunzel’s?” She asked once you’d gotten to the hair brushing scene.
You buried your face into Thomas. “I-I didn’t wash it in the shower,” you admitted shamefully. It needed to be washed after being in the rain, but you were out of energy.
“That’s okay,” she assured without judgement, starting a French braid on your dirty, wet hair. “We’ll put some dry shampoo in it in the morning.” She braided your hair with you curled up between her legs, tying it off with a little pink ribbon.
“If I were Rapunzel, I’d let you climb up my hair,” you said when she finished, leaning back against her chest.
She wrapped her arms around your waist, giggling at your silly antidote and kissing the back of your head. “You would?”
You nodded against her shoulder. “Yeah. Not dad though.”
Wanda smiled and giggled again. “You just want your tower to be me and you? No one else?”
You shook your head. “Just me and mama, in our tower together.”
She huffed out a laugh. “Just you and mama in a tower, huh? I can definitely get behind that. What would we do in our tower all day?”
You shrugged. “You could braid my hair, and we could sings songs, read books together, paint the walls, snuggle in our bed. We could do whatever we wanted really.”
She smiled, noting that you had said ‘our bed’, implying your dream castle only had one bed for the two of you to share. “So they would be no one to stop me from doing this?” She turned your head with her hand and placed a gentle kiss to your lips.
You looked at her for just a moment before chasing her lips again. And again. And again.
She giggled. “Okay, honey. That’s enough.” She certainly didn’t mind the kisses, but she knew you’d spend the whole movie kissing her if she let you. And she still had plans.
You curled back up in her lap. Right. You were letting yourself get lost in fairytale again. You weren’t in a tower in the forest with no one else. You were in real life, with your father and step-brothers in the rooms surrounding you. Wanda wasn’t your handsome rogue, she was your stepmother. This wasn’t a quirky pairing between a theft and a princess. This was a disgustingly taboo relationship that would ostracize you from everyone in your life if they found out.
Wanda wrapped her arms back around you, pulling you close. “Hey, princess,” she said, kissing your temple. She sensed your discomfort and could immediately tell what you were thinking. She wanted to stay with you in this fairytale for just a little longer. It couldn’t be forever, of course, but you could play pretend, for now. “We don’t have to leave our tower just yet. We have until morning, just the two of us.”
“M-morning?” You asked. Wanda always had to leave early in the night. She had to go back her room so your dad wouldn’t get suspicious.
She stroked your hair, slicking back the frizzy hairs that escaped your braid. “I told your dad that you’re not feeling well and I was gonna stay in here tonight.” She pointed to the packed air mattress on the floor. She had no plans of sleeping on it, of course, but she needed to make the lie believable.
You looked at her with wide teary eyes, unable to believe she’d do such kind thing for you, even when the risk of it was so high. She just returned the look with a soft smile and redirected your attention to the movie.
The movie was nearing the end, specifically when they finally get to see the lanterns and light on of their own. Wanda leaned forward and kissed your neck, using her hand to direct your head up to the ceiling. She turned on the fairy lights that lined the ceiling. They’d been there since you were a teenager, but you never turned them on. Most days you forgot they were there. She turned them to a setting with a gentle twinkle.
You were so overcome with love, you flipped yourself around in her lap so you were straddling her legs and wrapping your arms loosely around her neck. You felt like your entire body was buzzing with electricity when she pulled you down by the back of your neck into a kiss. A real kiss this time, not just the pecks she was giving you earlier. You whimpered against her lips.
“Shh, angel,” she whispered against you, advising you to quiet down before she had to stop. You slipped your hands under the hem of her shirt, tugging on it in a silent request. “Sweetheart, we can’t…” she said sadly but firmly. There was no way she could fuck you while everyone else was still home, no matter how badly she wanted to.
“I know,” you assured. “I don’t want to. Just let me feel you. Please.”
She looked in your pleading eyes, now twinkling in the fairy lights. She sighed. She couldn’t deny you anything. She slipped the shirt off over her head, leaving her bare under you.
You smiled, lying down on top of her and rubbing your face against her soft exposed skin. She smiled down at you, affectionately wrapping her arms around you to rub your back.
“I love you, mama,” you said, nuzzling your face into her chest with the first genuine smile you’ve had all day.
“I love you too, baby,” she said, squeezing you into her and kissing the top of your head. She couldn’t fix everything for you, but, when you needed it most, she could give you your fairytale.
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softlights-citylights · 20 hours ago
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covalently bonded
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lab partner!kuroo x f!reader headcannons
content warning none really. kuroo makes bad chemistry jokes. characters are in university. fem pronouns used.
wc 599
m.list
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on her first day in her chemistry class, everyone is assigned a lab partner and she just so happens to be paired up with Kuroo
at first, he seems weird and a little cocky
she soon finds out that Kuroo has a good reason to be. he's incredible at chemistry; its like second nature to him
he would try to find her during the lecture that paired with the lab. after spotting her in her usual seat, he would slide into the row behind her and tap her on the shoulder. Kuroo would make it a point to sit there every week and slide her notes during lecture
if she fell asleep, he would take notes for her and make a copy to give to her the next time they met
when he realizes that he likes his lab partner's company, he would drag things out. he would try to be the last group to leave the lab, just so he could get some alone time with her
if she isn't good at chemistry, Kuroo would be incredibly patient. offering to tutor her outside of class, when it was really just an excuse to spend more time with her. he would make sure that he executed every aspect of the lab perfectly, ensuring that she got good grades too
if she is good at chemistry, he would compete with her. he'd try to do more during lab, insisting that he had the experience when they were both in their second semester of college. Kuroo would make terrible chemistry puns at her and cackle at his own jokes even if she didn't laugh
he would ask for her number under the guise of helping each other with the lab reports.
Kuroo insists on working on the lab report together, even though they are graded separately. he just wants an excuse to spend more time with her.
while reactions ran, Kuroo would chat with her about anything under the sun. if they were doing pcr or waiting for a gel to finish running, he would lose track of time while talking to her.
if they were doing something a little more hands on, Kuroo would hover around her.
if her hands were full and her safety glasses began sliding down her face, Kuroo would carefully push them up with the clean part of his glove
run out of pipette tips? he's already got a new box
cant get the clamps to close? his hands are over hers, all too eager to help.
need new samples to run in the spectrophotometer? he's already started cleaning the cuvette and loading the next sample
cant get the data to show results? Kuroo would send a spreadsheet of all his excel data with little notes to help her understand his work
on the last day of lab, Kuroo would wish her luck on finals in the most nerdy way possible: by giving her a note that corresponded with elements on the periodic table for her to decipher
university has a funny way of bringing people together and pushing them apart, and he didn't want to risk falling out of her company. he wanted to make his feelings known, just in case they never saw each other again
he's well aware of how nerdy and lame he's being, but he says it anyways
Kuroo confesses with a drawing of a heart around a water molecule, saying, "it's kind of like us, we're covalently bonded"
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a/n ive had this idea in my head for a while. i graduated with a degree in biochem recently and lemme just say this shit is so unrealistic. everyone wants to get the fuck out of lab asap. i was imagining an biochemistry lab with mostly bench work
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drunkwithmouthwash · 2 days ago
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There was something that made me think for a while: if she was first intended to be Anya's partner, how u came up with the idea of her being with jimbob at some point? I would like to know bc there's a big gap there n all. I mean, a healthy to unhealthy gap. It made me curious abt the reasoning! Also I didn't rb before your post sorry for that 😩
(Sorry for late response dear)
I guess that decision was affected by my own personal feelings towards the characters during the creative process :’) The first time I watched a let’s play of MW, I was left feeling very protective of Anya and I HATED Jim with a burning passion. So, originally, Sammy was gonna be an ex-military, roughed and kinda buff, and she was going to protect Anya (here’s a rough sketch I made of that, plz don’t mind the anatomy or flawed perspective, I was experimenting 🤣)
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But as days went by… You know, I kept having MW in the brain, and started to realize that the one that had actually made a VERY PROFOUND IMPACT on me had been Jim. I couldn’t stop thinking about him, and thinking about him would make me so angry. Like, I really, REALLY FUCKING HATED him. But it got to a point in which I was like “…Wow. I don’t know how long it’s been since a character has made me feel something so intensely.” And then I started to appreciate him more for the character and the villain that he is. He is SO WELL DONE, like I bow down to Wrong Organ. So… little by little, love started to bloom from that hatred, and I wanted to use Sammy to express those feelings :’3 (Don’t be fooled tho, the love and hate I feel for him go hand in hand and neither replaces the other. I still hate him for his actions in the game and rejoice whenever I see fanarts of him getting what he deserves, lawfully or violently, but I love him as a character all the same, and who am I kidding? I do find him physically attractive, he’s my type lmao).
Now, in regards to Jim and Sammy’s relationship, I’m obviously well aware that Jim is not a sweet pea, and that if they were to be together romantically, it would be a terrible, terrible relationship. Since Sammy is a self insert, I decided to have her know better than to stay with him, and, well… that reminded me of a personal experience that I had with an ex boyfriend of mine :’) Thankfully, my ex was NOT NEARLY AS BAD as Jim (it would be like comparing a newborn tabby kitten to a full grown tiger lmao), but I still knew that he was no good for me and that I deserved better, so I broke up with him. However, I was still so madly in love with him, and stayed in love with him for around 10 years 🫠 I went to therapy, “got over him”, and then cried for him again the next time I saw him. Took me a LOOOOOT to finally get over him for good, but I was able to have closure. And, well… I decided to base Sammy and Jim’s relationship on that. She knows she deserves better, and she’s not afraid to hold him accountable for the things he says and does, but deep down she’s still very much in love with him (and those feelings will ultimately doom her) YwY
Anyway, I should probably wrap this up before it keeps getting longer 😅😅 I’m so sorry
Thank you for coming to my ted talk ❤️
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catgirlhell · 2 years ago
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god as my witness, i might actually be excited for a shonen anime coming up
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lotus-pear · 1 month ago
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i love you royal trio (minus akechi)
#i was listening to the world we knew by frank sinatra while drawing this to inflict maximum emotional damage 😔#royal actually shot me fifty times in the chest and slaughtered my entire family#i’m actually inconsolable over the ending what the fuck do you mean akechi chooses to die of his own volition rather than be manipulated#god it’s just. his character actually makes me violent and insane. they’re going to drag me kicking and screaming to the psych ward#he never had an ounce of control over his life. not even once. he was CONSTANTLY being yanked around like a marionette#until he was disposed of as another pawn in shido’s plan#and then out of some cruel irony he was resurrected even though he did not want to be alive#for once in death he would have found peace—only for that to be taken from him too.#and bc he thinks he’s worthless and his life is so easily gambled away he doesn’t view it as a major dealbreaker when maruki brings it up#“do you really think something as trivial as my life should stand in the way of your decision?” yes you fucking asshole#what do you mean he’s literally fated to die in every timeline? definition of doomed by the narrative#there’s not a single version of his story that doesn’t end with him being slaughtered#GODDDDD he makes me violently ill i hate goro akechi so much he’s so fucking selfish HOW CAN YOU NOT SEE THAT THIS DEAL IS TEARING ME APART#i was so tempted to get the bad ending just so that he was alive ☹️#he looked so happy. he was surrounded by people who loved and treasured him.no shido. control over his life. the ability to choose his futu#TEARS IN MY EYES MARUKI WAS THE ONLY VILLAIN WHO WAS LOWKEY MAKING SENSE 😭😭😭😭😭#my toxic trait is that i think maruki was right all along 😔#ALSO SUMIRE AAUUGGHHHH 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#the survivors guilt literally eating her alive until the point where she gaslighted herself into thinking she was her sister. insane.#royal was so good bro i’m so glad i endured 200 hours of hell just to play it#terrible terrible ending with everyone going their separate ways and ren ending up in juvie for months#akechi actually being dead in the good ending is so fucked up 😭😭 i thought there was some way maruki could bring him back regardless#not ren hallucinating him in the last cutscene too 😭😭😭😭 “i still see your shadows in my room” ahh ending#persona 5 royal#persona 5#ren amamiya#akira kurusu#sumire yoshizawa#goro akechi#lotus draws
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cangrellesteponme · 4 months ago
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i don't think wonderland is ready for those alices
#i have so so many things i could say about this cielois madness returns au (yeah that's what i call it. it's not even meant to be cielois)#(but like. ship names are convenient aren't they)#anyway so many things. but that would be a lot so i'll talk about it if someone asks or if i feel like it later#this post's rambles will be about the outfits!!#so. i gave ciel the dollhouse dress and alois the queensland dress#i know they could have been swapped. and it might have made more sense#HOWEVER#i do not care#i can and will put alois in red just because i want to. and of course i would give him a red fit in an amr fusion au#the vibes are rancid. it's perfect. that's what him being in this au is about!!#terrible things happen to children in kuro and in alice ok#anyway. i know queensland would be good for ciel because r!ciel BUT please envision queen luka i BEG#it's heartwrenching to see lizzie look so small in the game already so luka???? soul crushing. i want it.#now. the dollhouse dress for ciel#because of funtom mostly... and the vibes... and he's more of a doll than alois is ngl...#like. i know that it fits alois more because it's heavy on the trafficking and poverty parts but. see if i care#plus the minor theme of exorcising the evil of the city through the pain of children is more ciel-coded. so yeah#and he looks so bad in red oh my god i could not give him another dress... unless it was the mad hatter one and it would have been boring#also very much not fitting#you might notice that i changed the symbols on both of their aprons#in both cases i replaced female with male obviously but#in ciel's case the dollhouse dress has so many disgusting implications and i made them worse you're welcome <3#(replaced female with male and male with one of the symbols you can see on the contract seal. yeah yeah that's fucked i know)#(it's alice madness returns. and fucking black butler. bad things be happening to children!!)#anyway#that's it for my rambles#i got too lazy to do the vorpal blade and hobby horse light trails#so we'll live with the fact that my sketch has better vibes than the final piece#kuroshitsuji#kuroshitsuji fanart
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darkwood-sleddog · 2 years ago
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once again i am asking tumblr to hold public polls for users to vote on potential changes. imagine if you were the 'respect our users opinion website'. like that could be us but apparently not.
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front-facing-pokemon · 9 months ago
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#galarian slowpoke#picture this. this was the first pokémon revealed from the new DLCs for pokémon sword and shield. the pokémon company#up until this point‚ has never done DLC for a pokémon game before. you‚ having been jaded by shitty DLCs for other games in the past#now have a distaste for the phrase‚ and imagine this can't be good. then‚ in their teaser for the new DLC‚ they add a little event#into the game where they reveal one of the new pokémon that is going to be added in the DLC#and it is a galarian form. that is identical to the original pokémon. but with a yellow head#are you imagining it. now how fucking disappointed are you. how little faith do you have in that DLC that it's going to be as good as it wa#for the most part‚ the pokémon company has demonstrated that they do absolutely excellent DLCs. proper expansions#basically an entire other game on top of the game you already have. and they typically take up the release cycle of a full game#scarlet/violet's especially. WONDERFUL dlc. i never really properly finished the crown tundra just because i was so late to the party#because i avoided buying the dlc for so long because of this experience that i've just described to you#that by the time i bought it and played it‚ it was just because SV had been announced and i wanted more pokémon to tide me over#and i never finished it. one of these days‚ i'd like to go back and finish it‚ but i'm playing through pokémon xd gale of darkness right no#and i prefer to play. one game at a time. and i don't know when i'll ever really get back to it#or if i'll ever get back to it! 'cause without resetting my save file all the way i'll just have to Remember what it is that already happen#which i'm. notoriously bad at when it comes to coming back to games that i haven't played in a while#plus i know sv is like shitty performance or whatever but the movement in that game is so much better#it feels so much more freeing than going back to gen 8 where you can still just. run. and that's it#i know nobody likes scarlet/violet but i still. like it. performance aside. like yes the performance is terrible but i still had a great#time with it. i just praised its DLC for fuck's sake! its DLC was fuckin wonderful! it has kieran in it so it like can't be bad
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quirkle2 · 1 year ago
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he's such a fuckin nerd
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rapidhighway · 8 months ago
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Ahahaaaa oh my goddd can you not make "ADHD undereating" and "ADHD overeating" into a competition of who has it worse and who has nothing to complain about, that'd be awesome
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zeb-z · 1 year ago
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talking entirely character wise. do you think today was a bit of a wake up call for bad. do you think he heard red screaming out of their minds begging for toxic gas and thought about how they’ve lost their minds just a little bit. do you think that when he was given an immediate no when he asked where the red egg was to help them defend he understood how deep of a rift he created. do you think as he sat there silent while the rest of red cheered at killing the egg statue, he wondered if he could have pushed them a little too far. do you think that maybe, just maybe, with the red sun beating down on him in that desert, the gas mask team cheering and dancing, he felt for a single moment the consequences of his actions? that maybe, if he hadn’t started out so hostile with extreme tactics, if he hadn’t been so bloodthirsty and ruthless, if he had had just a little bit of hesitation, that his own attempts at diplomacy would have gone over better? that the rest of the teams would have listened? that red would have trusted his judgement on the egg statues, or at the very least respected him enough to honor an agreement? do you think he realizes that burning his bridges may have fucked him over?
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feline-evil · 1 year ago
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Never gonna be over how unutterably pathetic and in dire need of ANY kind of companionship or friendship that doesn't revolve around their band the entirety of dethklok are. I love these horrible idiots who are so devoid of any real connections outside of themselves that they will latch onto anyone unfortunate enough to get too close to any one of them! And GOD help anyone they latch onto!!
#jay talkin#metalocalypse#im thinking about the doubles episode where they just seem genuinely happy to have 'friends'#who arent like. industry people. these men are so starved of any kind of connection#and it takes them four seasons a rock opera and a movie to realise they can find that in each other lmao#also thinking about how quickly any of them bond and become really intense abt anyone in their life#aka: NATHAN TOWARDS ABIGAIL. oh dear poor abigail oh dear#but also toki to damn near anyone and this goes for the entire band tbh as well they all do this at least once#and yeah its mainly cuz 10min eps mean u gotta progress stuff fast#but also holy shit. charles these boys want friends so bad u gotta set em up on playdates or smth#maybe it'd get some of their dumb stupid idiot energy out and they'd be better behaved. well. no they wldnt but... u can dream#i do think theres smth to be said that yeah all of dethklok are cool theyre metal superstars they r good at what they do#theyre also fucking prophesised saviours too and theyre also incredibly dangerous idiots and terrible ppl#but never forget that they are also. so so SO pathetic and isolated and dysfunctional#these men have not lived in the real world in decades and are disconnected and unsocial and spoilt and u can see that this does impact#the way they interact w the world! they need like. anything other than the band in their lives hah. they do need to pal around#im glad they find that in each other eventually!!#i dont want 2 sound like im babying them or infantilising them these r grown asshole idiot men but like. listen these shitheards r lonelyyy#everyone in their lives is like. assigned to be there and is set as beneath them in a class and workbased system#they dont rlly have ppl who r just there cuz they like em. outside of fans. and fans arent rlly a real connection yknow#their only connections come via work networking sex and violence and worship baby!!!! its fucked up!
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