#i want just the implications
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
I wonder.. if I could fix the fallout show for myself simply by editing out what exactly Cooper Howard learned while listening in on the Vault Tec meeting...
It would be just him going "Come on, Barb. Set ´em straight." n then him trying very hard not to cry as he learned what they were discussing.. without cutting into the meeting itself.
We learn nothing new except that the revelations of some very fucked up things disstressed this serious man to tears.
Perfect.
#fallout show#no barb being the one to sugest that#no robert house#no sinclair#no big mt#no vault tec being soooo connected to it all#i beg of youuuu you dont have to spoon feed us eeeeverything#i want to not know some stuff#i want just the implications#secrets#mysteries#and conspiracies
37 notes
·
View notes
Text
"Do you miss the time when you used to do no harm?"
Old habits.
Merc behaviour is based on a nice little comment @up-in-flames-writing left on one of my comics :)
Rambling and more silly drawings below.
Loosely based on the Solemn Vow's public blurb:
Art lovers will cherish the bust of Hippocrates, commemorating a time when the Medic still thought doing no harm was a good idea.
I am absolutely convinced that Medic carries dextrose drops with him. German pharmacies throw these after you when you buy anything at all. I went to check if this one specific brand I know of had been around since the 60s and 70s and yes, it was.
Small acts of kindness I can see Medic doing is giving everyone one of these if they are tired. I'm talking about Engineer mostly.
Or they snack on them when solving practical problems together, like during the teleporter bread tumor incident.
#team fortress 2#tf2#tf2 medic#tf2 scout#tf2 heavy#tf2 spy#tf2 archimedes#tf2 sniper#tf2 pyro#tf2 demoman#tf2 engineer#*Vaxx leans out of the head canon window with this one*#A lot going on in the second half; if it's hard to follow: I'm trying to contrast medic keeping candy in his office despite no kids around#against his disregard to the hippocratic oath/suggestion#Why would he keep doing this general-practicioner-core thing but not the bare necessity for keeping his medical license?#I want to convey that him losing his license was nothing surprising because#in his mind the oath was always ever a mere suggestion hence it wasn't actually a big change in his values#the punchline is that there's no contrast: keeping candy in the office is just as much of a habit as is not following the hippocratic oath#When I found out about the Solemn Vow's description text I spent minutes thinking about the implications behind that#Herr Doktor what happened in your life; did nothing happen at all; did you change or were you always like this and just came to realisation#what made you stop being wholesome and choose violence
5K notes
·
View notes
Text
When the ghost who read to you as you died activates all of your Must Protect instincts
#payneland#edwin x charles#dead boy detectives#dbda#join me as I try to ignore all of the sad implications hidden on this one#even though I was the one who hid them there#like edwin being scared of spiders#sure but charles thinking about his death as something pathetic?#comparing the way he was murdered by his own friends#to this other boy who escaped HELL?#who is kind and knowledgeable and clearly not weak#unlike charles himself who will never be worthy?#give my boy some self esteem issues#wait i'm not ignoring the sad implications#ignore that I just wanted to show that charles probably thought Edwin was pretty aces
2K notes
·
View notes
Note
YOU MANIFESTED THE TWEEL CARDS CONGRATS
YOU'RE WELCOME EVERYBODY!
seriously though I was probably like. 60-80% thinking we'd get at least one tweel for chapter 10. but I was NOT expecting it so soon! both of 'em! in August! a shame we're not getting a Coral Sea event after all...but I guess I can be resigned to that and ALSO excited for getting shiny sparkly glowing(!!!!) mertwins along with Azul fighting his inner demons and going right for the eyes! AHHHH I CAN'T WAIT
(also heeeey I recognize that rowboat... 👀)
#art#twisted wonderland spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 part 10 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 part 10 spoilers#omg they're real#hey twst as long as you're pandering directly to me#che'nya card for riddle's chapter??????#it's not going to happen. but. WHAT IF#anyway i suppose they could get this one out a bit faster since the tweel sprites already exist#let's hope for a non-ob octozul cameo too! 🤞#as much as i want to see him though i do think it would be extremely funny if his dream were just#everything's the same in the coral sea except he's in human form the entire time#no real reason he just feels like it#chapter 10 though! the hype!#floyd is one of the characters i can't even begin to imagine what his dream might be#(the other one is ace) (i got a couple theories for him but floyd i just have NO idea)#i know it might just be for the diptych but i am VERY intrigued by the implication that the twins might be having the same dream#they're both dreaming about the time they teamed up to ruin some couple's cute rowboat date#and you know what. i believe it.
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
okay but WHYYY is no one talking about louis and daniel WHYYYYYYYYYY is no one talking about the greatest grandpa4grandpa relationship known to man and i don’t even mean romantically i mean in the most basic human platonic level their relationship is FASCINATING.
like louis SAUGHT HIM OUT after FIFTY YEARS he FOUND HIS BOY, this horrible infant who DID NOT UNDERSTAND A THING HE TOLD HIM, who saw his raw, decades-old pain and wanted in on it, AND HE GOES BACK FOR HIM BECAUSE HE KNOWS HE’S CHANGED. he can understand now. he can help him find the truth.
and like, they’re both absolutely terrified by each other because they’re both uniquely skilled at getting under each other’s skin and finding that truth (and also because… louis could just up and eat daniel anytime but shhhh…) and it’s because they UNDERSTAND EACH OTHER. louis’s interviewing daniel as much as daniel’s interviewing him, just. pulling teeth from each other’s head, trying to pull out all the rot with such violence and cruelty (from both of them!! daniel is a cockwallop!!) but they want to help each other they CARE ABOUT EACH OTHER.
LIKE THIS????
THIS FUCKING SHIT?????
GAGGED ME. RUINED ME. I HAD TO STOP AND TAKE A WALK AROUND THE ROOM.
(the gifs are from @loumands account btw. great work my guy)
#look he still calls him danny idk what else you want from me#also like. they absolute gay on gay violence like oh my god#besides the obvious too like they’re both playing this game of homosexual chicken where daniel’s picking apart louis’ perception of lestat#and louis is just THROWING armand in his FACE like girl you are not exempt from this fucked up love trapezoid#FULLY IMPLICATED#anyway i love them they’re like those two old gay muppets to me#louis de pointe du lac#daniel molloy#louis x daniel#interview with the vampire#iwtv#iwtv s2#iwtv spoilers#DANLOU#DANLOU IS THEIR SHIPNAME THANK YOU PEOPLE IN THE TAGS
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
One wedding and three funerals
Background paintings under the cut
#tomgreg#succession#tom wambsgans#greg hirsch#shiv roy#roman roy#kendall roy#yeah no im not tagging everyone thats too much#this is me going 'how much implications themes and symbolism can i fit in one painting'#yes i gave rose shivs haircolor. if we ever find out how she looks like and its not like this im just gonna pass away i guess#but yeah i hope yall connect the dots#i put waaay too much thought and work into this. i was googling pictures of all the actors as kids just for reference (sigh)#honestly kinda wanted to make tom and greg link pinkies as like. a pinkie promise. but that was too hard to draw in this angle#at least not without obstructing the view of the ring which is important to see so ya#my fave is actually the tomshiv wedding pic i went off with that. i love them... they should have run away to become sheep farmers fr fr#anyway im so glad im done with this UGH!! finally i can draw smth else without being like oh noooo i need to finish this#i see a lot of you wondering why there is no portrait of logan but one of ewan#it's bc the placement of the painting represent their standing. logans portray would not hang next to the stairs#his present portrait hangs at the end of it. all the way up at the top. alone and withering away#basically the picture you see underneath ewan to the right? its where toms parents would be. the right side of the wall is tom and gregs#and the left one is the roy siblings theirs. since they grew up rich rich. and tom and greg didn't#but ya thats why ewan hangs here and logan does not :)
15K notes
·
View notes
Text
sorry guys they finally showed me peak fiction . Its called “phantom of the paradise”
#phantom of the paradise#potp#winslow leach#swan potp#nightmaretheater#these were all done on the same canvas and i spent over 20 hours on it. Its just that good you know#Sorry this movie is making me VICIOUSLY IRREGULAR. its just that good. You have to watch it Now#i hope you dont mind the billion belts i have gifted winslow. she deserves them#lalalalal i love redesigning characters a little teeny weeny bit#Honestly. I want to draw swan more. I hate him so much but hes like really interesting. Im going to put him in situations#I miiight have changed a few details . giggle#…:i just had to give him a cool mark & blonde eyelashes Giggles#anyways i love ur shiny metal teeth winslow *thinks about the metaphorical implications and dehumanization for 10 hours*#So hard to draw her helmet sometimes… But i will willingly struggle . It is Okay!#anyways. Watch this movie now or suffer my curse
3K notes
·
View notes
Text
When neither of you have a condom but he promises to pull out, swears he can do it and tries so fucking hard to be a man of his word— and he is. Clinging to that final piece of resolve as he fights the allure of your warm, wet cunt. Moving his hips back as he begins to pull his slick-soaked cock from your ruined hole, ready to fist himself and spill his cum all over you.
But you make every ounce of his resolve crumble all around him when you tighten your thighs around his hips, lock your ankles behind his back, giving him no choice but to drain his balls and fill you with everything he’s got to give.
#those ‘I don’t have a condom’ tropes are literally becoming my fave thing now#idk if it’s cliche or specific or whatever#but there’s something so hot about character being like ‘I don’t have a condom’ and trusting them enough to pull out#but when you finally feel them inside you the last thing you want is for them to pull out#and they’re FULLY aware of the implications and that you could get pregnant but neither of you care #tw:breeding#trigger:breeding#tw:dubcon#trigger:dubcon#I’ve got too many husbands to be specific now#but just know I was fully thinking of Togame
1K notes
·
View notes
Note
spare some spy hcs? 👀
OKAY. ok. so i have been putting off answering this ask because i’m admittedly very shy and very afraid of sharing my headcanons. and also because i have A LOT OF THEM.. but here we are!
here are my headcanon spies :) René works for RED and Jacques works for BLU!
where to start, where to start… i have a LOT of headcanons for them, i’ll be talking for FOREVER here. i’ll just start with story because why not! xP
René’s parents were also agents/spies, so he was always destined to be one as well. And he lives up to his parents’ legacies! He’s most notorious for destroying gangs and mobs and the like from the outside in. He was brought to America years ago to take out a dangerous mob boss, but unfortunately found himself infatuated (and involved) with the boss’ daughter. Luckily for him, the boss’ daughter wanted the guy dead, too.
René’s story is honestly a lot more fleshed out than Jacques’, but here goes anyway:
Jacques’ father was a very rich and powerful man in politics. Jacques himself was the result of an affair, and to keep it hush-hush, his father decided to raise him. Raise is a strong word, though— but he did help his father gain intelligence and blackmail on opposing political parties. Jacques proved to be a promising spy since childhood.
If anyone has any suggestions/ideas for Jacques’ story, let me know haha x) he didn’t have the greatest upbringing per se…
last thing on this section i wanna talk about is the Scouts. René is related to both of the Scouts; he’s RED Scout (Jeremy)’s biological father, and he’s BLU Scout (James)’ adoptive/step-father. Jacques has no relation to either scout, but acts as a guardian figure to BLU Scout.
anyway, this is the part where i continue talking about other miscellaneous headcanons! and these come with doodles :)
You couldn’t catch René DEAD without his mask, or his suit! He’d neeever take them off around other people (‘other people’ is mainly just Scout. For obvious reasons.) Meanwhile, Jacques is pretty lenient in letting his teammates see his face! Everyone on BLU’s seen his face at least once.
A big part of why René refuses to strip down is also due to the fact he has a LOT of tattoos. No doodle for this one because I’ve yet to decide on what tattoos to put on him (ideas are very welcome!!), but yeah! Most of the tattoos were ‘forced’ onto him/he had to get for jobs and ‘fitting in’ with bad crowds, but a good few of them were of his own accord, too.
Jacques doesn’t have tattoos, but he has a myriad of another thing: scars! Lots and lots of scars on this guy. Faded and old, sure, but they’re there. Most prominent ones are the one around his neck (from when the RED Medic beheaded him) and the ones on his forearms (those are from the LAST time he was imprisoned— looong story…)
René doesn’t cook very often for his team, but when he does, everyone’s always BLOWN AWAY by this guy’s cooking! René’s really bad at taking compliments, though— (“Cooking food that’s remotely edible isn’t a compliment, it’s basic survival.”) —but rest assured he’ll be thinking about it for the next month. Jacques, however… Do NOT let this guy into the kitchen. Ever. The BLU base has a special fire extinguisher “In Case Spy Decides To Turn On The Stove”
oooh, this one is an hc and a HALF to me. René much prefers working alone. It’s just in his nature, being isolated and whatnot. He likes to deal with things by himself– maybe he doesn’t want to burden others? On the contrary, Jacques NEVER works alone. It’s a trait he’s had even before being hired to BLU. You never know when things could go wrong, so it’s best to have someone else to fall back to… or someone else you can blame!
these hcs both have something to do with how René and Jacques show their trust in other people :) it’s a bit convoluted but it gets there:
René is, amusingly, very bad at remembering names. Almost laughably bad. There have been many-a-story of his days before RED where he’d get a target’s name wrong, even after he’d repeated it in his head dozens of times over. Names are difficult for him, so if he remembers yours, it means you mean a lot to him! He prefers using his teammates’ names rather than their titles. René is unaware of how charming this specifc trait is to his coworkers (they saw how much work and effort it took for him to memorize their names, they’re just happy with how far he’s come!)
Jacques has a… to put simply, very complicated relationship with food. But the one thing he’ll never turn down is sweets. His favorites especially being chocolate bonbons. Jacques has a hard time eating in front of others, let alone sharing his food! But if he genuinely likes and trusts you enough, he’d have half the mind to share with you. Admittedly, he hasn’t brought himself to share with most of the members of his team yet, except for a select few. Mostly BLU Medic and BLU Sniper.
—
and of course, eventually, EVENTUALLY, these two also become friends! it took a little bit but believe me, they both respect each other’s skill in their job :)
AHHg i could go sooo much longer about them— from things like their physical traits (how much teeth they have? it’s a pressing question) or different periods of their life (why did rené have to leave his family? why was jacques imprisoned for the last time?) BUT this post is so… so, so long. My fingers hurt from typing
If you’ve managed to read through this Beast, THANK YOU RAAHH!!! thanks so much for asking this, too. i hope to spare more hcs someday. hehe ^_^
#team fortress 2#tf2#spy tf2#tf2 spy#era.png#id in alt text#VERY LONG POST !!! very text heavy aaouhg#ok its taking all of my courage to make this post but i promised myself i’d get it out before i-#-turned nineteen LFJDKG. so. here they are :) rené and jacques my pookies…#UMM… idk what else to say here. thanks for asking and if you read this: THANK YOU ALSO ^_^#tumblr does NAWT want to format this post properly im going to pull my hair out#smoking#ask to tag#JUST IN CASE !!! there’s some slight implications of stuff here and there so if anyone needs anything tagged then feel free to lmk!#i also evidently have. a LOT of hcs regarding the BLU team. coughs. dont worry about that right now. Dont worry about it#era.txt#anon
630 notes
·
View notes
Text
I’ve remembered that colors exist
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt leo#rise leo#back to black and white for me#just wanted to play with colors and Leo got to be my guinea pig#genuinely I just kept putting layers on top of each other until I was like hm okay#this is why I stick with greyscale 😭#too indecisive for color#turtle art tag#the trans implication was for once accidental but my subconscious is RIGHT actually-#he wears the colors well what can I say#anyway you know it’s not me without tags so here we go#the bros represent the four different times of day SO well#Mikey is Dawn Leo is Day Raph is Dusk and Donnie is Night#you can also argue switching Mikey and Leo around too but I like Leo as day simple bc his blue and stripes work with it#blue for clear blue skies#red stripes for dusk yellow for dawn#‘where are his swords’ in the void#man I wanna draw Leo in blue pink and white more often those really are his colors tbh#not JUST for my trans leo agenda either#on that note Mikey would rock fuchsia#and splash colors like that kickass jacket he had in CDMtT#Donnie would do great in lilacs or silvers#and Raph would kill it in gold#tan too would be so pretty on him and paired with gold? 👌👌👌#not me wanting to draw fashion for them 😭#on a further note April in emerald greennnnn#midnight blue or marigold for her too would be gorgeous#I could go on all day tbh
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
[ WIP ]
Bring a goat to a courthouse...
#Can't tell me that the ore snatchers replacing the ghast head with a goat head isn't a threat.#Like c'mon that's the biggest sign of a threat I have ever seen and it's COOL#IMAGINE the implications!! The storyline!#Doc is on his fucking skyblock adventure- comes back more tired and angry than ever -- completely unhinged -- and remembers this.#Next thing we know he fucking SNAPS. He said he didn't want to be a villain this season... Well you're in luck buddy- you're a villain now.#Funniest thing is that he barely did anything. People just keep poking him. And honest to god? Good.#Good that this old man isn't getting isolated from everything else in his swamp 4k blocks away.#He's been more social this season than he's been any other and last season he was NEXT TO SCAR.#Now that he's 4k blocks out everybody seeks him out it's lovely#okay now for the actual tags#docm77#art#hermitcraft#hermitcraft smp#fanart#hermitcraft fanart#hermitblr#hermitcraft s10#artists on tumblr#animation#hermitcraft art#hermitcraft season 10#hc s10#dad kisser doc donnerstag#artist#hermitcraft doc#hc10
615 notes
·
View notes
Text
"I think Rhaenyra is primarily motivated by a deep desire to be known and seen." (x)
"She definitely yearns for the old physical intimacy that they shared. It’s different from what she shares with her current husband and her children. A different form of contact." (x)
"I feel like Rhaenyra is a character who really, really struggles as an autonomous agent. She actually requires at least one person to make an ultimate act of devotion in order for her to find confidence and independence." (x)
"Honestly, I think initially there was just such a desire to connect. I think what you see initially is intimacy, and an intimacy that Rhaenyra shares so rarely." (x)
_
Bonus:
#hotdedit#houseofthedragonedit#rhaenicentedit#rhaesariaedit#rhaenicent#rhaesaria#house of the dragon#rhaenyra targaryen#mysaria of lys#alicent hightower#please don't attack me for this - the implication here is not that her connection with mysaria is merely an extension of alicent#but there are real parallels there that are quite beautiful#combing through emma's commentary on rhaenyra and relationships...#there's actually great parallels to made not just with these two but with daemon as well#but i truly cannot be bothered to take that one for the team#there were more parallels i wanted to make - eg alicent smiling after rhaenyra was talking about wanting to be a knight#edit: i added it i couldn't resist#eg rhaenyra straightening up after she caught alicent looking at her at the funeral on driftmark#but they were more miniscule and not quite the point :p#my gifsets
406 notes
·
View notes
Text
The idea that uni protesters are "elitist ivy-league rich kids larping as revolutionaries" on Twitter and Reddit and even here is so fucking funny to me if you actually know anything about the student bodies at these unis. Take it from someone who's going to one of the biggest private unis in the US, 80% of the peers I know are either from the suburbs or an apartment somewhere in America, children of immigrants, or here on a student visa. I've heard about one-percenter students, but I've never met one in person. Like, don't get me wrong, the institution as a whole is still very privileged and white. I've talked with friends and classmates about feeling weird or dissonant being here and coming from such a different background. But in my art program, I see BIPOC, disabled, queer, lower-income students and faculty trying to deconstruct and tear that down and make space every day. So to take a cursory glance at a crowd of student protesters in coalitions that are led by BIPOC & 1st/2nd-gen immigrant students and HQ'd in ethnic housings and student organizations and say, "ah. children of the elite." Get real.
#also idk how to tell you this but even if it were true. wealthy children potentially sacrificing their educational careers to protest is#a good thing actually. idk how to tell you that caring about people from other nations is good#personal#“this war has nothing to do with most students cuz nobody's getting drafted” idk how to explain to you that we should be angry#that our tuitions of 10s of thousands of dollars that we pay every year for an education is being used to fund a genocidal campaign#also the implication that if you go to a uni institution you are automatically privileged by participation no matter your bg#i didn't /want/ to go to this school. i was supposed to go to a school with an art/animation program. but i realized my immigrant#parents have been working their whole lives to get me here. and turning the opportunity down would be a disservice to their sacrifice#this is getting into convos of “what 2nd gen kids owe their parents” which is different for everyone but. yeah#i just get pissed off at seeing people misrepresenting student bodies as “wealthy” and “privileged” and “elite” when it's such a blatant li#i remember a year ago a friend told me they can't fly home to hong kong for winter break because the plane tickets are too expensive#so they have to find temporary housing around the area#last quarter for a film doc class my film partner made a doc on a small group of marxist grad students from india discussing praxis#during a rally a few months ago in response to police presence the coalition invited palestinian students to speak about their experiences#and lead songs and read poems they wrote. these are STUDENTS. are they elitist too?#this is not to disregard my own personal privilege either.#this whole narrative's just to rationalize a lack of empathy to me. seeing a 19yo student get shot by a rubber bullet and your first#reaction is “HAW! HAW! bet richy rich didn't see THAT coming when she put on her terrorist hood!”#newsflash. these big uni campuses are HAUNTED by the violence of past protests and revolutions and police brutality. we know.#why do you think these coalitions have been making reinforced barricades at record speed
881 notes
·
View notes
Text
whenever a fanfic says that Mello is wearing a t-shirt I know they probably mean something like this:
but all I can imagine is this or this
Bonus Comic:
Bonus Bonus Shirtless Mello:
#my art#death note#mello#near#mello death note#near death note#death note brain rot#I can't imagine Mello wearing anything practical#Maybe it's just that I can't turn off my costume designer brain but it my mind he must always be doing the most#also yes the long sleeve shirt is the one he left Wammy's in that he diy-ed to be slutty#Also also Mello is offended by specifically by the implication that he's a virgin#I want to tag this meronia but idk if it counts??? I guess just assume that anytime I draw them together they were kissing moments before#i drew a Near to go with him that also has flat colors with fully rendered pants but this post was already getting too long
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
i would like to discuss the coffee situation in the lighthouse.
this is the apparent coffee station in the kitchen. little coffee maker, a couple of unlabeled bottles of additives (i assume), and a bunch of cups including these cute little decorated ones that scream ren faire souvenir
oh and also: two giant open baskets of coffee beans underneath the table. (and a sack of Unidentifiable Brown, but let's ignore that for now because i couldn't get any good pictures of it. it's not the same texture, anyway, so i can't confidently say it is More Coffee.)
that's a lot of coffee beans. that is A Lot Of Coffee Beans for eight people, even if they make 3-4 pots a day. at least one of those pots is for lucanis insomnia purposes, a few cups are for neve to boil into a cognitohazard, and the rest of the team might have a cup or two in the morning, but i don't know enough of their coffee habits to say for certain. 3-4 pots is a generous estimate. so what do they have over 20 pounds of coffee beans for? are they using all of those before they go stale in an open basket? lucanis is a coffee snob, i refuse to believe he's buying all of that if he doesn't think they'll use it while it's still fresh.
But okay. benefit of the doubt here. maybe they've got some stay-fresh ziploc magic on it, and that's a month's supply for a greater amount of coffee per day than my estimates.
but wait. in the pantry. what's that?
oh my god it's an even bigger basket of coffee beans. what are you doing with 50 pounds of coffee beans. you are NOT using all that, this is more coffee than a party of 8 could even try to consume before it went stale in, again, an OPEN CONTAINER. i don't even want to consider whether those sacks next to it might have more, there's no way they could possibly have...
two more. giant baskets. of coffee beans.
there are more baskets of coffee beans in the lighthouse than vegetables. the lighthouse is constantly out of onions because the guy in charge of the shopping spends half the grocery budget on coffee beans. lucanis drinks 6 pots a day and his blood-to-caffeine ratio is 50-50. no wonder spite can smell colors.
#dragon age the veilguard#veilguard spoilers#lucanis dellamorte#not tagging the others just bc i don't want to clog tags with stuff that barely relates to them.#i'm also extremely aware that this might just be an unfortunate oversight of the set dressing.#like they only had so many assets and baskets full of stuff look better than all those empty vases and nondescript sacks on the shelves#but the implications are hilarious#i saw that big basket next to lucanis first and went 'oh my god that's so much'.#then i saw the two baskets on the shelf and went 'oh my god that's so much'#and then i went out and looked at the coffee station again and. yeah.#there are twenty eight coffee cups on the coffee station. there are Eleven in the pantry. Twelve if lucanis is drinking More Coffee in ther#i'm not lying about the vegetables btw. there's one crate of corn and one crate of squash. and five baskets of coffee.
301 notes
·
View notes
Text
that ivan loves till is the most obvious thing about them
but. does ivan know that…?
the ivan that regards his own feelings as shallow, the ivan that learned how emotions are expressed only from copying others… does he even know that the love he’s felt for so long is love? probably not. and part of the reason is the one he loves himself
because the easiest example he has of love is till's feelings to mizi. till outright calls it love, and ivan watches him so much he has to be aware of this and till’s love to mizi is totally unselfish, right. he doesn’t seem to actually want much from her—just that she's still there and still "mizi"
but ivan can't be satisfied with just watching he… wants. ivan wants till’s attention, till’s affection—
surely this selfish wanting can’t be love
...no wonder he was never able to express his feelings straightforwardly when he belittles them so much but he can’t stand not having anything either, so he does… whatever he does instead to get any scraps of attention he can, from someone he's convinced doesn't care about him at all only showing affection when till can't see it, right until he knows he's going to die
but ivan's feelings for till are all he still has of himself... to think of them as shallow...
I've seen this translated as "I should've been kinder" to him (till) or to her (sua)
but really, the one he should've been kinder to was himself
#alien stage#alnst#alnst ivan#ivantill#i have a lot of thoughts on till -> mizi too but this is long enough#just attempting to rewrite my twt rambles more coherently#idk why i wrote this so dramatically tho...#'thank you for being the victim of my shallow emotions' is going to haunt me to my grave#ivan's character is just a careful balance between his natural freak nature and his extreme depths of self-loathing#making him the most miserable guy ever#...really once you realize so much of what went wrong is thanks to ivan just hating himself too much to even think of them as friends. well#c...can we bring him back... don't die like this.....#(also you know. with the implications of how 'pets' are treated#wanting someone physically must feel... even more wrong
828 notes
·
View notes