#i wanna stab something
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gender dysphoria go brrr
#i am. not doing great.#i wanna stab something#i fucking hate having a body#why cant i be a being of pure energy instead#bill cipher you truly are gender goals at this point /hj
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Me at netflix :
#netflix#fuck you fuck you fuck you#shadow and bone#you cancelled it so you can make endless first season of show that won't get any audience#but your popular shows?#they can fuck off#you have a problem#i wanna stab something
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I'm getting deja vu
#for context i just realized this is one of the many quizzes i took when smth like this happened to me the first time aka last time#spoiler alert they rejected and insulted me lol and now this time time i fell for a straight girl instead of an ace spec#which is obvi worse hehe and we arent even super close anymore cause distancing shit happened#feelings are hard#like- IS IT ROMANTIC OR PLATONIC#auegh#i wanna stab something#i need to stop falling for straights istg#this is not good for my mental health#and of course its a friend again#istg i have a problem with the best friend thing#this time i dont think a byler fic can convince me that if i confess we'll still be friends#fuck you byler writers for making me delusional#sorry for the rant#shitpost#personal#i hate being in love it feels so weird
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Guys, I'm never doing a realistic car ever again. And I'm charging more next time too. XD
#jack of clubs art#art#cars#i wanna stab something#ive been staring at this screen for forever#i just finished it#i shoulda charged like 100 dollars#i did 65 😭😭#cuz i thought itd only be like 4 hours!!!#apparently not#ugh
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vampire au where they can only drink the blood type they were before they were turned. other blood has an almost poisonous effect, burning them from within like acid and drinking too much of it can kill them
in the old days, before the knowledge of blood types, it made humans they could feed on absolutely precious. they're kept safe, pampered and doted on; a vampire’s most prized possession
attacking another vampire's human is seen as the highest insult; not only is it a slight against them, it also carries the implication of "i want you to starve"
it's also used as the cruelest of punishments; starving a vampire for months, until they're feral with hunger just for their torturer to throw in a random human, watching them desperately suck down poison, their instincts begging them to keep drinking even as it kills them
ghost is one of the few who survived it; thrown in a pit so deep, he saw stars in the middle of the day, left with nothing but the dried bodies of the humans roba drained without care, others with their throats slit, blood he can't drink spilled out around them
a taunt of the one thing he needs but will never get
but ghost hasn't survived this long just to give up here
he refuses to die in this stinking, rotted pit
ghost is a force of nature as he descends over roba's manor; killing any who wander into his path until the halls run red. until he gets his hands on roba and tells him a secret:
vampires can feed on the blood of any vampire, regardless of blood type
it becomes a legend in vampire high society; if you starve another, you'd best make sure they actually die
otherwise you might end up piled in a dining room, the vampire you left for dead lounging on a throne of corpses with his fangs lodged in your throat
ghost decimates roba's empire, burning it to the ground until no one dares to speak his name in fear of incurring his wrath. it's incredibly taboo for a vampire to feed off another but ghost's too powerful for anyone to challenge him and the other vampires are too scared to try. scared of what he's willing to do, the lengths he'll go to; not that they'll ever admit it
soap is the first human he ever brings to court; delicately bathed in the finest silks and jewels, his throat always bare so he can show off ghost's ownership, his bite framed in lace
he's not like the delicate waifs the other vampires show off; he doesn't cling to his master, demure and submissive. he shows off his teeth as often as any vampire, fully willing to rip out the throats of any who insult him or ghost
a feral master needs a just as feral pet
#this also has me thinking of the different ways vampires would test blood before they drink it#obviously they wouldnt go straight for the bite just to get a mouthful of poison#have you seen the interview with the vampire movie and that scene with lestat and his sharp ring cuff thing?#ghost would absolutely have something like that#i see him having a full skeleton gauntlet type thing that cuffs onto his wrist and fingers#and at the end of his fingers hed have the claws#using them to shallowly stab johnnys throat#just enough for a drop to run down to his collarbone for him to lick up#goddamn#soft stop writing half your aus in the tags challenge#its hard okay i like to keep the post clean but then i get supplementary ideas so they go here#i only wanna present one idea at a time but i need everyone to picture soap dressed like one of the brides from van helsing#anyway high vampire!ghost and his beloved human pet!johnny au when#also peep the coraline reference lmao i had to#coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt#we’re a team. ghost team#soapghost#ghostsoap#ghoap#simon ghost riley#ghost cod#john soap mactavish#soap cod#cod mw2#save post
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Avatar Love talk 3: Game vs Action
Follow up from (and also defending Kyo in this vid)
Yangchen: I plead the fifth on what Kuruk said. No idea why you two think you got your horny ass desires from me. Kyoshi: I'm not the one who sensually listened to the sound of Kavik writing with a pencil, but go off? Yangchen: Again, pleading the fifth! Anyway I still think Kyoshi has the least amount of game. Kyoshi: Really? We're still on this? Can't we talk about something else? Wan: Like your mommy issues? Kyoshi, pushing his face away and knocking him down: Ok, defending my "game" it is. Yangchen: Kyoshi, really, just accept it. You can't flirt for shit. Kyoshi: Again, I don't need to. Yangchen: You keep saying that! How do you expect to get anyone if you can't or don't flirt? Kyoshi: I walk into the room and look at them. Maybe smile, if I'm feeling feisty. Yangchen: That's not going to work- Wan: It worked for you, Yangchen. Yangchen: *deflated* Kyoshi: Oh so it's "flirting" and "super game" if Yangchen does it, but if Kyoshi does it then I'm just lucky? Wow. Hmmm. So fair. Yangchen: Kyoshi, you had two years with Rangi and Yun and I had five minutes with Kavik. We are not the same. Kyoshi: Listen, Yangchen, I think we've got it all wrong. It isn't about game or flirting. It's about action. I know how to get my girl going- Wan: Yangchen knows how to get Kavik going too! Yangchen: SHut UP, Wan! .......Yeah I know how to get Kavik going too, blow steam in his ear, fling him off a bison, what's your point????? Korra: Wait, fling him off a-? Kyoshi: Oh no no, Yangchen. That's not what I mean. You see, I'm probably going to go down in history as "World's best daughter-in-law." Whenever I sincerely talk about how I'm going to take care of Rangi or Hei-Ran, and Rangi melts into a literal puddle at my feet. Korra: So, like, you're amazing moral character is how you flirt? Kyoshi: No, it's not flirting. It's doing. Actions. Like I said before, they like me for who I am. And maybe because I have a good smile too. Kuruk: Being good looking does help. Yangchen: Ugh, where are you going with this? Kyoshi: I'm getting to it. What I want to say is, 'What's so great about having game, when the real measure should be the results?' Yangchen: *rolls eyes* 'Results.' Please, Kyoshi. We all know I had Kavik wrapped around my finger. Kyoshi: So you got with him? Yangchen: I-well uh- Kyoshi: Tell me, Yangchen. Which one of us actually GOT their boo in the end? Hm? Yangchen: .......... Kyoshi: Only actions and outcomes matter, Yangchen. What's so great about your "game" if you can't even "win"? Wan: I haven't seen a burn this severe since that volcano took out Roku. O-O Voice on the phone: 911, what's you're emergency? Korra, on the phone: I just witnessed a murder! I mean both parties are already dead-can the dead die twice?????
#'reminds me of that one kyoshist video' this one is partially me defending Kyoshi and her 'lack of game' TT0TT#i mean I'm just following the narrative of the posts but yes I wanna defend my girl#rangshi#rise of kyoshi#shadow of kyoshi#chronicles of the avatar#i'm sure yangchen and kavik got together#kyoshi just wants to back her into the mother of all corners#“either admit you aren't as good as you say you are or admit you and kavik got together which is it gonna be?”#kyoshi#rangi#this isn't me throwing yangchen under the bus I just wanna bully her a bit and put some pressure#please confirm they got together please I'm begging TT0TT#i know the easy counter of 'world's best daughter in law' can be countered by hei-ran getting stabbed#but I think only putting that on Kyoshi (even if she blames herself) is a little too rough/harsh (she didn't really agree with the plan tbf#yeah didn't disagree either but like there where a 1000 things going on and oops she still chose HeiRan in the end)#plus I want to make Yangchen sweat first so we're going to ignore it for now 8U#avatar love talk#korra#wan#yangchen#Kyoshi and Yangchen are going to be bitching at each other for a bit jkfdlsjafld#kyoshi always did say that action mattered the most uwu#'are you really quoting the book for something so silly' yes#yun said kyoshi had a beautiful smile so 8U
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Neil: Wait, you can't kill me! I have a husband!
Kidnapper: And what makes you think I care about that?
Neil: Oh no this isn't a plea for mercy. It's a warning.
Kidnapper: Wha-
Andrew *breaking down the door, knives in hand looking marginally pissed*: Neil.
Neil: Oooh, you're in trouble now.
Andrew: Bold of you to assume I'm here for him. I warned you what would happen if you got kidnapped again junkie.
#Kidnapper: Plot twist#Kidnapper: Like you wanna team up bro? i was just gonna hold him hostage for money but he is kind of annoying.#Kidnapper: Dude would not stfu. kept trying to convince me I'd make a great backliner if i wanted a career change#Kindapper: Then he started insulting me when i told him i was a baseball fan#Andrew: *stabs him*#Neil: You really dont have any patience huh?#Andrew: I married you didnt i? i have the patience of a fucking saint now stfu and untie yourself#Neil: youre hot when youre playing white knight#Neil: Ooooo does this make me your princess?#Andrew: *slaps duct tape on his mouth*#Andrew: At least he was useful for something#lowkey makes me wanna write a fic now#this is so stupid im sorry#andrew minyard#all for the game#the foxhole court#aaron minyard#david wymack#dan wilds#matt boyd#renee walker#alison reynolds#neil josten#kevin day#nicky hemmick#aftg#andreil
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WOAH Bruce not only feeding that assumption in steph but planting the seed of it by saying something about Jason while he’s behind her and they’re looking at the memorial case together. Like this being after a build up of like you said him being harsh with her training “you didn’t match those fingerprints fast enough they could’ve matched 50 in 40 seconds you took almost twice that” but being kind while he’s physically touching her. Bruce standing behind steph, not to the side but directly behind, with his hand on her shoulder and the hand drops down to squeeze her arms and steph looks down at it and turns around and kisses him. I think if steph sent a post coitus pic to Bruce he wouldn’t even get mad he’d just get horny thinking about them together. Thank you for the photo steph can I get one in your robin costumes next time
(based on this post and this post) oh my god. your vision anon. i was going to just build off of this with headcanons but the scene you described i cannot get out of my head so uh have a fic that's 6k and far longer than it should've been with vanilla sex that somehow is very dead dove anyway, also crossposted on ao3. ily i would guard you with my life- <3
When Stephanie thought about Bruce, she remembered skin that tasted like salt and brimstone. She remembered warm hands that held her more gently than she'd probably ever be held again. She remembered a cold voice that was more cruel to her than anyone had ever been.
Which, given who her father was, Stephanie personally found that to be a pretty fucking impressive feat.
She remembered a lot of things about Bruce. So many memories sat on her tongue and threatened to spill out whenever she opened her mouth.
Memories like Bruce's hand on her shoulder, giving her another lesson she never got to use before dying.
"You didn't match those fingerprints fast enough," Bruce said. He was unforgiving, and Stephanie didn't have to be looking at him to know his features were painted in disappointment. She scowled and focused harder on the slides in front of her, ignoring him. When she didn't answer, he twisted the knife deeper. "Tim could've matched almost fifty in forty seconds. You took twice that."
It was always Tim being dangled like a carrot in front of Stephanie's face. So many times had Stephanie wanted to twist around and snap at Bruce that he wasn't the only one who lost someone when Tim had to quit being Robin. Bruce wasn't the only one with a gaping hole in his chest that couldn't be filled.
At least Bruce had Stephanie trying to fill his loss. It wasn't like anyone had stepped up for her.
Stephanie's grip on a fingerprint slide tightened until she was sure the glass would crack. "Did Tim have you breathing down his neck the whole time, making unnecessary commentary?" Her snark could cost her this role she fought so hard for.
After hours of useless training that didn't even involve punching things, Stephanie wasn't sure if she cared about that.
It took a silent, brooding moment before Bruce answered. "In the field, you won't always be afforded an undisturbed working space. But you also can't tune out distractions that could cost your life."
If she could, Stephanie would punch Bruce. If she thought her fist had the slightest chance of actually connecting with his face before he dodged or deflected it, there would already be a satisfying crunch of bone against bone echoing through the cave. Just the mental image of it made Stephanie almost smile.
She took a slow breath.
"Point taken," Stephanie said carefully. She set the glass slide down, flexing her hand that still itched for violence. Another cruel comment was on her lips when Bruce's hand started massaging her shoulder. The touch was so gentle it forced tension out of her muscles, and Stephanie sighed. "Are we done?"
"No," Bruce was icy, lacking any emotion. "We need to go over your lackluster decoding skills again." His other hand came to rest on her other shoulder, massaging in tandem. It was an electric touch she wanted to lean into.
"For fuck's sake!" Stephanie threw her hands up, then dropped her head into them, rubbing her temples. "What has it been, four hours? We haven't even eaten."
The shadow Bruce cast over her just seemed to grow, engulfing every inch of Stephanie's existence. "This job isn't one that comes with luxuries. And it's a job you asked for," he reminded her. His thumbs were working into Stephanie's neck, perfectly pressing out a stiffness she'd been harboring for weeks. She couldn't stop herself from pressing into the touch. "If you lose even once... you lose things you can't afford to lose. Things I can't afford to lose."
Stephanie looked up from the desk. Her gaze snagged on the memorial case that loomed over her every time she walked into the case. The name that was carefully carved into the plate at the bottom of a boy she never even got to know.
Because he was what Bruce lost.
"You're not going to lose me." Stephanie turned her head to face Bruce, giving him a much kinder look than she'd been wearing just seconds ago. One of Bruce's hands drifted down to hold her bicep. "You know that, right? I know what you've already lost, but I can be better than that."
It was gently possessive. Like, at any moment, she could evaporate, and he would be alone again. For all his flaws, Bruce sure as hell knew how to tug on Stephanie's fragile heartstrings.
"You have no idea what I've lost." Bruce's voice actually broke, like he was a marble statue cracking, every grove held a story. Real emotion, real pain beyond her comprehension. That was a rare thing. Stephanie studied the way his face shifted. She tried to remember all the training he'd given her about noticing small changes and what they meant.
Sorrow and pain in his brow. Worry and tension in the thin pressed line of his mouth.
Love in his eyes. A familiar love Stephanie knew better than anyone.
But he wasn't looking at Stephanie. He was looking at the memorial case.
"Oh," Stephanie realized out loud, eyes going wide. "I didn't know- oh. I'm so sorry, Bruce."
Bruce's gaze snapped away from the case all too abruptly, as if he'd revealed far too much to Stephanie in a single instant. His eyes were guarded again, and he stared down at her with a tense expression, stroking her skin with his thumb.
It was stupid, that Stephanie had never considered this... thing with Bruce to be a unique thing. Maybe she liked the naivety of feeling special in how Bruce showed her attention. She was never going to be the only Robin, definitely never going to be the best Robin, but she had always assumed she was the only one Bruce loved, like that.
The lining of jealousy calling her bones was put out by sympathy for Bruce. The loss of Jason was worse, if that was how he and Bruce were. It was more than losing a sidekick.
It was losing a lover.
Was Tim the same? Probably. Undoubtedly, Stephanie decided. And Dick, the way Bruce talked about them. She'd always known Tim and Bruce were weirdly entangled in ways it wasn't her business to understand, but now, the pieces clicked further into place.
And in one way or another, Bruce had lost all of them.
Now here she was.
No wonder her training was thankless. She could die or leave him at any moment, in Bruce's eyes.
Stephanie properly turned around, spinning her chair. Facing him fully, none of Stephanie's concern was hidden from Bruce. He answered it with a frown, running his fingers through her hair and cupping her face. Stephanie looked at the hand as it lingered on her body. Like Bruce couldn't force himself to pull away. Like he knew he was being selfish, putting her in danger.
But Stephanie wasn't fragile. She had what other Robins didn't. Experience on the field, doing this on her own without Batman. Who knew how strong she could be under his touch, how she’d blossom.
Stephanie stood up and touched Bruce's face. She had to stand on her toes to do it, but she kissed him. Gave him the moment he always needed to go from stiff and overthinking to melting into Stephanie's touch. He kissed back and licked his tongue into her mouth, like she was a decadent food he was savoring.
How he always tasted the same, salty and earthy, Stephanie would never know. She'd add it to the tally of mysteries about Bruce Wayne.
Bruce's hand drifted down to Stephanie's waist. Then, like something out of a movie, He brushed aside all the fingerprint slides, letting some clatter to the floor so he could pick her up around her hips and set her on the table. She was raised up enough that she didn't have to strain to reach his mouth now, letting them deepen the kiss.
For a while, they stayed like that. Kissing and hands wandering. Stephanie slipped her hand under Bruce's cotton t-shirt, feeling against hard muscle and a bandage over a deep cut that had needed stitches only a few days ago. A part of Stephanie wanted to push her fingers under the medical tape, just so she could feel where the cut was. Press her fingers up against the painful wound, exploring where Bruce's flesh ripped open and paid the price for his sloppy actions, as he would put it.
But she didn't. Stephanie did her best to keep the more inhumane parts of herself out of reach from Bruce so he wouldn't scrutinize them and make her feel like more of a failure.
Bruce ran a hand up the inside of Stephanie's thigh until he found the zipper of her jeans and just rested his thumb there. His other hand was cupping one of her breasts in a hold that wasn't nearly tight enough for Stephanie's tastes. It was such a cruel thing, how he was rough and unforgiving with his words, but treated her like a doll about to break whenever he fucked her.
Just once, Stephanie would give anything to fuck the Batman and hear words from Bruce Wayne. Not the other way around.
If she told Bruce that, there was a non-zero chance he would throw her in Arkham for it. He'd told her at length how relationships with women like Catwoman failed because they wanted him to be gentle in places he couldn't be.
He found gentleness for Stephanie in those places, though.
Bruce trailed kisses down Stephanie's throat. She tilted her head back to give him better access for sucking colorful marks into her skin, making her shudder. Her body begged for more where her voice failed her.
"Are you hungry?" Bruce asked, his voice vibrating against her skin.
Stephanie's head was swimming. "What?"
She swore she felt him smile against her throat. "You pointed out we haven't eaten. Do you need dinner, Stephanie?"
"Oh, you bastard." Stephanie smacked his arm, and he let her. "Later. We can order Chinese or something after this."
"Good." Bruce's voice dropped a dangerous octave. He always found some covert way to ask for her consent without directly asking for it. Just another part of his mind games she would never understand.
His hands pushed under her shirt. He pulled away from the kiss long enough to pull it up over her head, exposing Stephanie's plain white bra. She fantasized about being the type of girl who wore fancy lingerie for an older man like Bruce, but that wasn't something for Stephanie's shallow pockets.
She knew she could ask Bruce. He'd probably fall over himself for the chance to buy her lingerie. He always said yes when it came to money things, and even offered her a debit card attached to one of his smaller accounts. Which, in Bruce's language, meant an account with only a couple million instead of hundreds of millions.
But Stephanie always said no. She needed some side of her life to keep to herself without Bruce influencing it.
She needed Bruce to know she could still hold herself above water without him.
Her fingers buried in his short hair, carding through the soft, dark strands that still had the scent of his sandalwood shampoo. If he grew his hair out, it would probably have a faint curl pattern, like the pictures Stephanie had seen of Martha Wayne, from back in the day. It was a shame he kept it so short.
"How are your ribs?" Bruce asked, his fingers brushing over the still purple bruise and making Stephanie wince.
"Fine," she insisted, wiping the pain off her face. She had been the one stupid enough to take a punch from a Riddler goon, of all people. She didn't need Bruce pointing out her failures now.
He didn't look like he believed her, but he didn't push it. Bruce just bent over to press soft kisses over the marks, like he thought his love could heal her. If it could, it would've by now. Just the thought made Stephanie shiver and relax more into his touch.
One of his hands snuck behind her to undo the clasp on her bra. Stephanie shifted her shoulders, and it fell to the ground.
Bruce latched his mouth around one of her nipples. Stephanie groaned and pulled his hair. He always let her be rough, if she needed it. Her nails left angry red marks down his back, and she held onto him so tightly there were bruises. Maybe it was wishful thinking, but Stephanie was pretty sure Bruce liked the marks as much as she did, proof that she'd laid claim to him as much as he'd claimed her.
Their relationship was one of reciprocity if nothing else.
It was a maddening tease to have Bruce's mouth on her flesh. He kneaded her other breast with a strong hand that had crushed bones, brushing across her nipple until it was standing upright and there were goosebumps on her flesh. She wanted to stay like this forever, having the goddamn Batman worshipping her skin.
She needed more, though.
Stephanie unbuttoned her own jeans and shimmied them down. They were barely past her hips when Bruce grabbed her wrist.
"What have I told you about patience?" Despite everything, he used the same tone he would've if he was scolding her about rushing into a mission too quickly.
"You're a bastard," Stephanie was breathless just from the few touches he'd given her. Heat was pooling between her legs and she needed to alleviate the pressure somehow, like expressing an infected wound. Sometimes, Stephanie's cunt felt less like a sacred hole for pleasure and more like a bleeding gash that she needed Bruce to provide triage for. He fucked her with the same intimacy that he dressed her stab wounds, finding the gaping flesh and pressing into it until there was finally relief.
Bruce probably didn't see it that way. Stephanie didn't care.
He dared to laugh against her skin, deep and rough. "Relax. Trust your body. Trust me." His voice was so steady and firm, it was hard not to lean against.
Stephanie huffed, but bit her tongue. "At least take your shirt off. Fair is fair."
A gruff hum came out of Bruce, but he complied, pulling away to shuck the garment and give Stephanie one of her favorite views. Like watching a sunset over the Gotham horizon, every time she saw Bruce's naked skin was just a little different. The same gorgeous sight, but if her eyes wandered she would find all the new little scars, the older scars that were fading more, the ever-shifting wall of muscle that didn't look one bit human.
Stephanie groped his chest, running her fingers over coarse hairs that Bruce sometimes shaved, and sometimes didn't. She preferred the natural look, the same way she preferred when he went a few days without shaving. It made him just a touch animalistic.
He went back to devouring her skin with his mouth and hands. Stephanie was at Bruce's mercy as he kissed, sucked, and licked his way across the dips and valleys of her body. He was reverently gentle over her scars with soft kisses. Then he sank his teeth into sensitive places Stephanie never knew she had. The skin under her breasts, the stretch marks over her hip dips that had never quite gone back to normal after she gave birth.
The world spun around them and somehow, Stephanie was the only thing that mattered to Bruce.
When Bruce seemed pleased with the soft marks he'd covered her in, his hands finally pushed Stephanie's pants down the rest of the way, and he helped her kick them off with her shoes.
Then, he got on his knees.
Stephanie's eyes were wide, and her face turned a soft shade of red that matched the hickeys on her chest. "I haven't waxed-"
Bruce arched an eyebrow at her and pushed her knees open. "I don't care."
She didn't know what it was about Bruce, but Stephanie was always too shy about her body around him, expecting him to scrutinize it for the same faults he found in the rest of her. The first time they kissed, she started waxing that same night, from her pubic mound to her asshole, just so she would be smooth for him. She shaved more often, bought a nicer perfume, and tried her hair in styles she never would've worn before. It made Stephanie feel childish, but she could never stop herself.
She needed to be good for him.
Proving the point in his words, Bruce started kissing Stephanie's thigh. He left marks there, too, working his way closer and closer to her cunt. Stephanie could feel her heart rate spiking as the cold air hit her vagina. She was digging her nails into his scalp, too deeply, she realized. But like always, Bruce didn't seem to mind.
Finally, he made his way to his destination.
Bruce's tongue was hotter than a brand over Stephanie's cunt. She gasped and jerked. Every time, it never failed to make her dizzy. It was a reminder how inexperienced Stephanie was at sex. She offered to give him head and without fail, Bruce always said no.
Yet, he did things with his mouth that Stephanie didn't know were fucking possible.
Bruce licked his way inside of Stephanie, pressing his tongue as deep as it would go and flicking upward. A groan ripped out of Stephanie, and she was practically grinding on Bruce's face for more.
He used his hands to pull her folds open for better access. If Stephanie tried closing her legs, Bruce just pushed them back open with his elbows. He forced her on display for him, whining and squirming for desperate pleasure from his mouth.
"Bruce," Stephanie moaned, eyes fluttering. It was a simple pleasure, but an overwhelming one, hard to even look at Bruce without losing herself to it. Every time Stephanie looked down, those piercing blue eyes were locked on her, drinking up her reactions.
It was fucking intimidating, was what it was.
He moved his mouth upward and Stephanie shattered. Chapped lips wrapped around her clit and sucked until Stephanie's eyes were rolling into the back of her head. He flicked and twisted his tongue in ways that shouldn't have been humanly possible to send sparks up her spine. It was like getting shocked over and over again.
His fingers pressed inside of her hole, arching up. It was nothing like being finger banged by a horny teenage boy behind the bleachers and all the other clumsy sexual interactions that crowded Stephanie's youth. This was a touch with experience, fingers curling inside of her with movements that went for precision instead of speed or force. Like Bruce knew he didn't have to rush Stephanie's pleasure, he just had to find the right spots to tug at until he unraveled her.
"Fuck, Bruce!" Stephanie grabbed onto the end of the table and thanked every god that she didn't have super strength, because if she did, the metal would've crumpled under the force she put behind her grip. "You... you're going to drive me fucking insane... Bruce-" She canted her hips up to chase more pleasure. Her body was greedy, making up for how shy her mind wanted her to be.
There was a gleam in his eyes when she managed to look down again. She could see how smug he was about knowing it was only his touch that could reduce her to this, naked with pleasure dripping out of her.
She was going to make a mess of the table. The last time she did that, Bruce gently guided her to her knees and pressed her face into the slick puddle until Stephanie got the message without a single spoken order. Licking up her own cum while Bruce had fucked her behind, a hand around her throat.
That memory was one she still jerked off to. It was too rare for Stephanie to get those wilder, kinkier inclinations out of Bruce, no matter how much she begged for his dirty fantasies she knew he was thinking about every time he looked at her.
One day she'd convince him to do whatever he was thinking about the time he stared at her a little too hard when she was trying to get out of those handcuffs.
The thought of that alone had Stephanie's pleasure rushing toward its crest, and her noises got higher and more desperate. Bruce couldn't say anything, with his mouth locked around her clit and still working it so well, but he stroked her thigh with his thumb as if he was encouraging her to let go.
It may as well have been an order.
And Stephanie obeyed.
She pulled hard on Bruce's hair and clamped her thighs tight around his skull, holding him there. Bruce didn't force them open this time, he just let her body take what it needed. Stephanie was almost positive a third finger pushed inside of her to join the first two filling her as she hit the peak of her orgasm.
A scream tore free from her lungs. She kicked uselessly, one foot accidentally hitting one of Bruce's shoulders. He was a concrete wall, though, not moving or even flinching from it. He just kept licking and sucking and looking through his dark curls to stare at her as she howled. Stephanie tried to say Bruce's name, she tried to tell him how good it felt, but all the words got lost in translation. All she could do was hold onto him and ride through every electric wave, hoping he understood.
Of course, he did. He always did.
Just as Stephanie reached the peak of pleasure and tipped into overstimulation, Bruce pulled off of her clit. He looked almost disappointed by it, staring briefly at her soaked, pink folds. Like he wanted to stay there and make her suffer and beg for reprieve.
If Stephanie had any sense to her, she would've pouted about him not doing just that.
At least his fingers stayed inside of her. They weren't moving anymore, but they were a warm pressure, keeping her full and satiated as her body went boneless. Bruce studied her and watched Stephanie hold herself up with her arm to keep from flopping onto the table and passing out right there.
"Fuck me," Stephanie said, already knowing that Bruce was debating it. Sometimes he fucked her after he ate her out, sometimes he didn't- no matter how she begged for it. Even when she could see the tent in his pants. The time she'd begged particularly hard, he laid her out on his bed and told her to stay still and just jerked off on her tits, as if to prove some kind of point she didn't understand.
She did understand, though, how fucking hot it had been to have his spent pleasure against her skin. Perverse and disgusting, but hot. She had scooped it up with her fingers and sucked them clean in front of him, the only time she ever got to taste his cum. It earned her a scowl as he carried her into the shower, practically dropping her into the tub.
Of course, she did manage to get Bruce to properly fuck her in the shower. So it was a happy memory, no matter how Bruce's disapproving stare the whole time tried to taint it.
A healthy collection of memories. And still, Stephanie's greedy hands wanted more. She wanted, craved more than just his fingers inside of her.
"Please," Stephanie added when Bruce was quiet for too long. She did her best to appear submissive and doe-eyed, looking at him through her lashes and spreading her legs. "I want you to feel good, too. Let me take care of you." When the soft, sultry tone she used didn't do anything to make him budge, Stephanie sighed and grabbed his wrist, pressing her thumb against the pulse point to feel his hammering heartbeat. "Take what you need, Bruce. I'm not going anywhere."
Bruce groaned and Stephanie felt it in her core.
He pushed himself to his feet, fingers still buried inside of her. When he grabbed for one of the drawers to a nearby desk, Stephanie practically preened, knowing she'd won.
"We don't need a condom," Stephanie said. She tried this argument every time. It never worked. She never stopped trying. "I have an IUD and we both get tested regularly-"
"It's not up for debate," Bruce nearly growled. He pulled a condom out and ripped the package out with his teeth. Stephanie squeaked at the sight.
"Let me put it on, at least?" Stephanie said, trying to get her voice out of the higher register he'd startled her into.
Bruce didn't put up a fight as Stephanie opened his jeans with her hands and pushed them down just enough to pull his cock free. He handed her the condom and watched with rapt attention as she stroked him a few times. It got no reaction from Bruce, and Stephanie didn't expect one. She just enjoyed the feeling of his stiff, hot flesh underneath her touch. All the little places only Stephanie got to touch and hold.
She worked him until his cock was twitching, and he grabbed her thigh again and squeezed with warning. Hypocritical bastard. He got all the time he wanted with her body, but she was always rushed when she got to touch him, sliding her hand over his cock and rubbing a thumb over the slick head.
The condom was rolled on as Stephanie imagined putting it on with her mouth. She'd practiced the skill on a dildo more than once in anticipation of the day she finally got to show it off to Bruce. She licked her lips at the thought.
"Good," Bruce grunted when the condom was snugly on his length. It was a coveted, rare praise that made Stephanie almost choke. And somehow, he said it like it was nothing. Like he didn't even mean to. Like he was unaware of how it made her react.
She liked to pretend it just slipped out because he was so caught up in her, but the realist in Stephanie knew that, like everything else about Bruce, it was calculated. Still, she took what she could get.
Bruce tugged Stephanie closer to the edge with his grip on her thigh. It was practically manhandling, and she couldn't stop the moan at the rough treatment that begged for more. Instead of giving her more, Bruce just gave her a sour look and pulled his fingers out of her cunt, and pushed them into her mouth to keep her quiet.
To make her taste the pleasure only he could bring her.
Stephanie mewled and sucked on Bruce's thick, calloused fingers as he lined himself up with a guiding hand. The push in was a blunt pressure, then a fullness that made Stephanie lean back until Bruce wrapped his arm around her shoulders to give her support.
Their bodies were flush together. He buried his face into her neck and breathed in her scent while she tasted his skin, savoring the flavor she only found on him.
Salt and brimstone.
Bruce fucked her at a controlled pace. He never let go to push her body to the limit the way she knew he could. But with how overwhelming it was to be fucked by him, maybe that was a thing. Bruce was thick and long, driving air out of Stephanie's lungs every time he drove in.
He pulled his fingers free from her mouth, and she mourned the loss with a soft noise. His hand trailed down to press against the bottom of her stomach. She didn't know where the hell Bruce learned the trick, but the slight pressure on the outside of her body somehow made the thrusts more intense and filling. It made sure his cock assaulted her g-spot with every stroke and her back arched.
"Bruce, Bruce," Stephanie chanted his name, clawing at his back, not caring that her nails were catching on sensitive scars. She felt like she couldn't think. She locked her legs around his waist to pull him impossibly closer.
Her back arched until her head was practically hanging upside down, all while Bruce kept his face buried against her collarbone. So he couldn't see where her gaze fell and what made her stuttered noises get more guttural.
The memorial case danced in front of Stephanie's eyes, even from this upside-down shaky view, grounding her to the moment even as she was soaring through pleasure.
Stephanie didn't know much about Jason Todd. She didn't know his hobbies or his favorite books. She didn't know what jokes would make him smile and what worries clouded his head when he was trying to fall asleep.
But she knew they shared this. She knew, in this way, they were always going to be connected. Bruce had been buried deep in Jason the same way he was buried in Stephanie, chasing his pleasure. And just like Stephanie, Jason must've liked it.
How could he not, when being loved by Bruce was like being on a direct path of a meteorite? Fleeting, but brilliant in the chaos.
Stephanie tried to remember what Jason looked like, from the pictures. She tried to imagine how Bruce liked to fuck Jason and what Jason looked like under Bruce. How his dark hair got sweaty and his ocean-blue eyes squeezed shut. What type of noises he would make and what kinds of pleasure he liked.
Did Bruce suck him off? Eat his ass out like he ate Stephanie out?
Did Jason love the fall into absolution the same way Stephanie did?
All the mental images overwhelmed her as the Robin suit danced in front of her eyes, bright colors blurring together. The thought of Jason bent over the same table Stephanie was getting fucked on made her moan and her eyes squeezed shut.
In another universe, maybe they got fucked by Bruce at the same time. Two Robins for the price of one to finally get Bruce to go over the edge and take what he wanted from both of them.
For now, though, Stephanie would have to do the work for both of them. For all the Robins and this torch she carried.
She clenched down around Bruce as best she could. Her second orgasm was already too close. Usually she needed Bruce to stroke her clit to work her to the edge, but now, lost in all her fantasies of a boy she never knew, Stephanie was lost to it. She started to shake.
"Close," Stephanie warned, even when she didn't need to. Her noises were hitched and broken, lost in every thrust.
Bruce didn't speed up, but he did fuck her harder, giving her just a fraction of more force from his strong hips. It pulled a scream out of her, and Stephanie shattered.
The pleasure took its hold on her. Toe-curling and mind-numbing and every other cliche Stephanie thought only happened in porn. She clamped down around Bruce, so tight she didn't know how he managed to keep fucking her.
"Stephanie," Bruce whispered, so softly she almost convinced herself she hallucinated it. It was the only sign she got that Bruce had come, burying himself to the hilt just as her orgasm came to an end. He shivered and exhaled, and nothing else. No loud noises, no sexy dirty talk.
Just unspoken simplicity. Stephanie could appreciate it for what it was.
She nuzzled into him, pressing her head against his and holding him tightly. It would've been a hug if he wasn't still buried inside of her. She even dared to stroke his hair, like a mother soothing a child after a nightmare.
After an orgasm was the rare time Bruce allowed Stephanie to take care of him in these little ways, and she never squandered the chance. She hummed softly, carding her fingers through his curls and rubbing his back.
It wasn't a long moment.
"Chinese?" Bruce asked, pulling away from Stephanie's skin.
Stephanie rummaged around inside her worn mind, trying to find her cockiness. "Worked up that much of an appetite?" She gave him a sharp smile.
"If you don't give me a straight answer, I'll order Pizza Hut," Bruce threatened.
"Oh, gross." Stephanie made a face, afterglow sufficiently killed. "They have the worst pizza, don't you dare."
Bruce gave her a rare smile. He leaned in and kissed her one last time before they had to separate and be real people again.
That was where the memory faded off, for Stephanie. It bled into all the other little almost-domestic moments she had with Bruce.
It was a memory that stuck out because it was the first real time Stephanie had ever thought about Jason. And now, it was a fitting one to mull over as she was curled up against Jason’s chest, enjoying an entirely different afterglow.
And a much more sore body.
Because Jason didn't hold back all the things they both wanted more than anything.
"Say cheese," Stephanie said, holding up her phone to take a selfie.
Jason, whose head was propped up by his arm, looking perfectly serene, cracked an eye open. "What are you doing?" He sounded suspicious, watching as Stephanie twisted and turned the phone, trying to find the perfect angle.
She needed to make sure both of their bare chests were in the picture, with all the bruises and marks covering them.
She needed to make sure there was no mistaking what the photo meant.
"I'm sending this to Bruce," Stephanie hummed. She didn't smile for the picture, but there was an unmistakable smugness in her eyes as she snapped a couple of pictures, giving her options to pick from before pulling the phone back to her face.
Jason snorted. His grip on her hip tightened. "Why?" He didn't protest the idea.
Stephanie just shrugged. "It'll piss him off."
"You like kicking hornets' nests that much?"
"You've got no room to talk. How many heads were in that duffel bag again?" Stephanie gave him a deadpan look before going back to her phone. She debated on a message to send with the selfie, before ultimately deciding on none.
After all, Bruce was a man of few words. Surely he would understand.
Jason made an annoyed noise but didn't argue. "Tell me what he says back," he said, closing his eyes again and adjusting to get more comfortable in bed. This was his base they had chosen to fuck in.
The first place they fucked on was a rooftop. But of course, the lighting there wasn't the best for a selfie, so Stephanie had to hold off on taunting Bruce.
Sleeping with Jason was a lot more dangerous than sleeping with Bruce had been. She heard all the warnings and stories about what he was capable of and how he wasn't the sweet boy he'd once been.
Maybe she liked the danger. Maybe she needed someone who would finally stop treating her like a doll.
And just maybe, she needed to gloat.
The message was marked as read nearly as soon as it was sent. The three little dots indicating Bruce was typing appeared and disappeared no less than a dozen times. It made her smile, imagining him sputtering and cycling through emotions as he tried to figure out a response.
Just as Stephanie was sure she wasn't going to get any response, a message appeared on her screen.
Thank you for the photo. If you plan to send more, I still have your Robin suit. You can wear it in the next one.
Stephanie's eyebrows shot up in surprise. She elbowed Jason in the ribs and showed him the screen.
Jason grunted and looked down for a moment, silent. "I'd fuck you in your Robin suit," was the only input he offered.
"Only if you're wearing yours too," Stephanie rolled her eyes at how unhelpful he was.
Jason gave the thought a hum, considering. "Ask Bruce if he still has it, and I'll think about it."
She had no idea if he was serious or not. It was always hard to tell, with Jason. She had no idea if Bruce was serious either. Maybe he was playing some kind of cruel joke on her too, trying to outsmart her in some game of chess just because she'd dare to mock him with the picture.
At the very least, she could be pleased she got under his skin either way.
Stephanie smiled and typed out what Jason had said, hitting send.
She always did like calling people's bluff. Whatever the outcome was, one thing was sure.
The game was on. And Stephanie wasn't stopping until she got the last fiber of Bruce's control to snap.
#necrotic writings#brusteph#jaysteph#implied brujaysteph#nsft#cross posted on ao3#this possessed me idk what happened#i was so sure it'd be 2k how do i keep doing this#it's brusteph hours babey.#get in losers we're here for bruce's 5d chess version of grooming.#as always many thanks to vega for being a beta#does this fic stand on it's own outside of the headcanons? idk#but it was fun darnit#i wanna write the followup where bruce fucks them both in their robin costumes#but for now. i'm just chilling#might watch the penguin or something#how do you explain that a fic can be vanilla but also have steph fantasizing about wound fucking.#how's that one work.#as well as her comparing getting fucked to having a stab wound treated#like it's vanilla but is she??? no.#no she is not.
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rewatching bbc merlin really has me like buzzing in my mind with so many thoughts. Like I'm kinda watching it backwards atm going from S5 to S4, I think I will jump around 3, 2, and 1 but just,,,, there is so much especially in S5 that makes me !!!!!!!
Honestly, I feel like this fandom has to give the writers more credit. Like they did a damn good job, and to me, it's such a good tragedy. Especially how S5 plays out, it takes everything and just tears you down, and down, and down. It's perfect, perfect with flaws! But still perfect
#bbc merlin#merlin#yeah idk on that note about the writers - this fandom is way too harsh#like i know we all have ideas on how it should have gone#but i think we lose how it's still a story that they planned from the start to end like that#they did their job they set up from the beginning and it is good as a tragedy imo as someone who has studied tragedies#hot take but the characterisations are consistent - i mean like as consistent as they get for a 5 series show#they did better than most and i dont feel like any characters get like their previous characterisation assassinated#that includes Arthur and Morgana btw they clearly have arcs that work well and where Arthur's is a slower progression - Morgana's is like a#lit match - slow at first but when it gets going it's going and then gone - it's wonderful#i mean look at s5 it literally starts by talking about Arthur's bane aka his fatal flaw aka his hamartia#which is himself and i dont think it's as much as the overdone hubris but rather Arthur's love and trust for others - but that like in many#tragedies can be debated#okay something else that can be debated is the peripeteia - i think a good example of it is the Disir episode because that's when Arthur's#fate becomes sealed anything after that point is fruitless because the Triple Goddess has decided he must die because of his rejection of#the Old Religion - it's a reversal of fortune in a sense that Mordred is alive to play his part in Arthur's death - as Merlin puts it. You#could see it more as Merlin's peripeteia rather than Arthur's but still#if we wanna debate it more Arthur's peripeteia would probablyyyy be when Mordred stabs him because that's when his death becomes imminent#it's a reversal of fortune because he's dying from that point forward rather than a strong king he is a man dying#the anagnorisis is another point to make. You could say for Arthur his anagnorisis is all of the finale - like this constant realisation of#Merlin and his magic and realising all that he missed all that he didnt see and now it's too late because he's dying#I'd say Merlin's anagnorisis comes with the whole Mordred and Kara ordeal and how he realises his mistake and how it's gonna cause the#downfall of not just himself but Arthur too#then catharsis - see i think it's the only part where the tragedy falters because do we get catharsis from Arthur's death and Merlin's#immortality - where he's still at the lake centuries later?#i think in some ways yes and in other ways no because I don't think BBC Merlin is following an Aristotle's tragedy#i think catharsis comes more from Morgana's half of the tragedy - seeing her die - and i think further catharsis comes from knowing it's no#over forever that there will be a second chance for redemption for both Merlin and Arthur#but it is a more difficult one for sure#anyway point is that S5 specifically has a tragedy storyline that is very well done and we should credit that more tbh
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i'm gonna be stuck alone with my dad till sunday n now i have to drive him to root canal so he's gonna be extra grumpy pissed in pain aaaa
#; probably being slapped by a dog (ooc.)#i don't even know what to tag this as i'm hungry and tired and was not emotionally prepared for this#i wanna move out so bad ohmygoddd if he makes another comment on something i'm watching i'm going to STAB HIM
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Affection Language
a knife called grief
You have left your house, you have left those people behind, but what are you going to do about the memories which have taken root in you? You can run but not without them. You want someone to sit with you on this cool marble floor while the sun burns everything. You want them to cut your rotten heart and theirs too. You want to sit with it in front of you, let them see you with all your flaws, which haven’t been your fault but you have been made to believe so, and you want them to love you anyways. Because you know you’d do that for them.
tagged by: @nameaprice feel free to fill out too
#‡ ooc#‡ dash games#i will tag ppl next time but if you wanna fill it out you should totally tag me#i feel like saying talons flaws havent been their fault at all would be doing a disservice to their choices and accountability.#like yes theyve been put in poor situations again and again but instead of looking for ways to better themself they have chosen wrong-#every single time. never changing their nature and only working off of base instinct or what theyve been told to do by marcus#anyway getting back to the quiz results yes to the 'wanting someone to love you even with your faults' but getting to that stage of-#vulnerability is the issue#so they dont see being vulnerable and opening up to someone as a good thing because that is weak and its not always guaranteed the other-#will not stab their heart (ha) given the oppotunity. or that talon wont do the same if it gets them something
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I love being chill and normal (threatened to stab my brother then punched my bedroom wall)
#anyways !#he gets to shower before I do even tho I have to be at work at seven tomorrow in person and he works from home#and I have to keep fucking driving him places like I have to get up super early on my day off on Saturday to drive him to the fucking#airport so he can travel up north and I have to just bring him to the airport and I’m not going up north I just have to drive back home and#it’s going to fucking kill me to do#and I’m so stressed and burnt out and on my period and I have to get up so early tomorrow for work and I’ve woken up in the middle of the#night the last two nights just to throw up so I really just want to shower and go to sleep so I can get up and go to work and then get back#home again and do nothing but be tired and wait to work again ughhhhhhhhhh#and I got on a discord call that 📞 was in and hearing her voice hit me like a truck and I started frustration crying about everything from#the last week so thank fuck some of these emotions are out of me a bit cause I was seriously going to hurt someone if my brain didn’t shutup#also for the record I didn’t say I was going to stab him someone on tv said something about stabbing someone and I said that’s what I wanna#do to you and he got all offended
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im being subjected to torture! (healing tattoo is in the itchy phase)
#rrrambles#and my landlord has done something to the wifi and now tumblr ks blocked#so im using my data to bring you this news#im very happy with my tattoo#(it's naked women dancing around my leg and it is epic)#but god i wanna stab myself rn just to get away from the feeling#but im being very brave abt it and not touching it#tattoos#tattoo
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Things it feels like college is required for:
- job that isn't grocery store employee
- not wanting to kill yourself 24/7
- parent's respect and pride
- not being consumed by loneliness
#cicadas vent tag#sorry for venting so much lately. it might have to do with the fact i havent taken my anxiety meds in a while but im not sure#i just. shdjfhrje#i hate school#i know every teenager says that but its true i hate it here#homework sucks so much ass and i just really really dont wanna complete it#and i know thats such an ass excuse but it really does feel like stabbing myself over and over again#but if i dont ill get punished. and my gpa will drop#god i dont even know my gpa#it probably sucks ass#and with college's standards going up ive really got to buckle down this is the year that means something#if i dont get into app state i dont know what ill do#kill myself probably#at that point theres no point to me living
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Reading ur tags about aizawa being kind of a jerk makes me think like, I hope it's some kinda twist that he's just repressing his feelings and lashing out with anger/resentment/being a jerk because he didn't use any outlets for dealing with his friends deaths
Cuz it's true his vibe changed, I just hope it's for a reason
And doing something like that^^ wouldn't justify it, but it would make it feel realistic imo
Mans is emotionally constipated and has gone through a lot of trauma, so though it doesn't surprise me exactly that he's being a jerk, I hope there's a breaking point or something
Yeah, I mean, that maybe is it, since it happened around the shirakurogiri arc, but I honestly don't know if Horikoshi thinks that deeply about his characters.
I will be happy if it's eventually addressed and he can be a good character again, but I kinda doubt it will? It's not him as a character I have a problem with it's the writing it just feels . bad.
I also don't know if Midnight's death will actually ever be addressed in any meaningful capacity. There was no reason for her to die except for a moment of shock value.
My solution for all of this is make the Loudspeaker AU canon.
#aizawa IS shown to care about Mic#so why suddenly change him so he doesnt#i feel like the explanation for his behaviour would only ever be 'thats just how he deals with grief '#and like ok. but. thats not good x#maybe show how his friends are effected by him neglecting their feelings if thats the hill you wanna die on#this is like if i wrote a story where the mc is upset about something so he stabs his mum#and then i just say 'yeah that's just how he deals with trauma'#and there was never any repercussion#that may be an exaggeration but#you can't just have a character be horrible n say its ok cause he sad#sorry for being based x#im not that mad about this i promise ive touched grass before#i just like to complain sometimes#this is why Vigilantes and the light novels are superior#maybe i just dont like Horikoshi lol he do give me the creeps a bit#he's probably a nice guy but i get some weird vibes
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Quick PSA about this blog
The anon and I sorted it out over DMs so all is good now!
I'm not a huge Tetocest fan or anything, I just like it when someone draws really nice drawings of them and they happen to be Teto x Teto, so the chance of me drawing Teto x Teto is kinda low but not zero. Like I wrote in my chart, I mostly treat them as a cute pair of sisters, and that chart was a Miku x Teto chart because Negidrill is my OTP.
If I ever make Tetocest art, it's not with the assumption that they're sisters or related or seeing each other in a familial way. I'm grossed out by incest of any kind, and I'm also grossed out by pseudo-incest. Tetocest (selfcest) is literally Teto x herself/a different version of herself, not a relative or anything, so I wanted to make that clear.
I'll be tagging all my stuff that isn't quick doodles/text, so if you're anti-Tetocest or Teto x Teto or something, you can blacklist that tag or avoid me altogether because I don't hate it. The chance I'll draw actual Teto x Teto that isn't cute platonic love is like 5% though, 'cuz I like Miku x Teto more than anything and that's my main priority.
If anyone has beef with anything I like, I absolutely encourage you to unfollow me or avoid me because this is where I post art of MY interests and I don't want to be treated like a criminal in my own space.
My Miku x Teto is NOT proship (I always ship them around the same age) and I don't support proship or anything weird/immoral. I'm fine with criticism if I do something wrong but please don't be aggressive towards me because Mktt is extremely precious to me and I don't want to be chased away from my own space. You won't believe my ability to self-isolate lol but I'm not afraid of being alone, even if my love for Mktt will never die (especially not 'cuz of anyone).
For now I'll continue to draw/write Mktt/Voca/UTAUloid art at my own leisure with my own headcanons and interests, and I'm not doing it for attention. I'm doing it out of love for the characters.
Thanks for reading! ^^
#tldr; i'm not a diehard fan of tetocest but#i dont hate it either#mktt is still my otp#dont trash my interests pls since i'm in my own lane#that is all!#btw i might be low activity for a week or two cuz finishing something i procrastinated thru mktt#but after that i wanna go all in on mktt art!! i love ngdrll a lot#it makes me extremely happy so if people trash it or attack me then i'll get defensive/heated#im sharing stuff out of love and spreading the love but if i am only greeted with hate then#i wont disappear but u will not be given access to my stuff or me. like?? please.#looking forward to miku's bday! i havent figured out if i can do anything for her yet!#dont hate on anon btw it was a misunderstanding#they're anonymous anyway so u cant namedrop but i want to put this behind me now#mktt stop putting me thru rollercoaster emotions challenge (failed)#it's cuz i love them so much ok. sob 😭#u would get it too if you loved them as much as me#it's like being stabbed btw whenever anything bad happens lmao.#idk how that feels but all i know is the pain is felt and sharp and sad#it's not an addiction or an obsession. i just love them. end of.#hopefully forever#if u were me u'd get it but im not writing my backstory heh#i dont love them in a pathetic/unwilling way. it's all 100% choice and conscious#the really strong emotions however. those i do not choose lmfao.
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