#and there was never any repercussion
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Reading ur tags about aizawa being kind of a jerk makes me think like, I hope it's some kinda twist that he's just repressing his feelings and lashing out with anger/resentment/being a jerk because he didn't use any outlets for dealing with his friends deaths
Cuz it's true his vibe changed, I just hope it's for a reason
And doing something like that^^ wouldn't justify it, but it would make it feel realistic imo
Mans is emotionally constipated and has gone through a lot of trauma, so though it doesn't surprise me exactly that he's being a jerk, I hope there's a breaking point or something
Yeah, I mean, that maybe is it, since it happened around the shirakurogiri arc, but I honestly don't know if Horikoshi thinks that deeply about his characters.
I will be happy if it's eventually addressed and he can be a good character again, but I kinda doubt it will? It's not him as a character I have a problem with it's the writing it just feels . bad.
I also don't know if Midnight's death will actually ever be addressed in any meaningful capacity. There was no reason for her to die except for a moment of shock value.
My solution for all of this is make the Loudspeaker AU canon.
#aizawa IS shown to care about Mic#so why suddenly change him so he doesnt#i feel like the explanation for his behaviour would only ever be 'thats just how he deals with grief '#and like ok. but. thats not good x#maybe show how his friends are effected by him neglecting their feelings if thats the hill you wanna die on#this is like if i wrote a story where the mc is upset about something so he stabs his mum#and then i just say 'yeah that's just how he deals with trauma'#and there was never any repercussion#that may be an exaggeration but#you can't just have a character be horrible n say its ok cause he sad#sorry for being based x#im not that mad about this i promise ive touched grass before#i just like to complain sometimes#this is why Vigilantes and the light novels are superior#maybe i just dont like Horikoshi lol he do give me the creeps a bit#he's probably a nice guy but i get some weird vibes
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#this is crazy ooc he would never say any of this#ranfren#ranfren fanart#randals friends#nyen catman#nyen ranfren#nyen fanart#comic#lol#i just bombed a test because i spent my study time drawing. in order to remedy this (in order to remedy my experience of the repercussions#which is all that matters really)#i decided to spend a little bit of time doing some drawing#this is so shit lol
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jay not asking coach about letting lonnie onto the team bc he doesn’t want to do anything coach might disagree with…….
#‘coach trusts me…’ like what if i cried#man i wish they made more of a thing of jay being TEAM CAPTAIN#<- i’ve made a post before abt how easily he gives it up & jay not liking positions of power etc etc#but i do think he treats the role like it could be taken away at any moment#coach TRUSTS him. holy shit coach trusts him#the first positive adult figure in his life trusts him to take care of the team#train them and critique them and lead them to victory#and coach probably wouldn’t have cared abt lonnie being on the team#but jay is sooooo hesitant to ask#coming from the ‘if you want it take it and if you can’t take it break it’ guy#like this is the one thing he doesn’t want to risk breaking…….#and then obviously he gives it up!!!!!#he gives up the thing coach TRUSTED HIM WITH bc it was the only way to let lonnie on the team#& mr ‘my only dislike is women being unhappy’ was like I CANNOT REST UNTIL LONNIE IS ON THE TEAM#it’s suchhhhh a sweet gesture not only from a hashtag feminism standpoint#but also character wise for jay#like this precious thing that coach has trusted him with but didn’t really want that much anyway…..#it’s going to mean more to lonnie if she had it. even though it means everything to jay#oh it makes me crazy#damn my mum was right. i think too deeply about things#im like i analyse things a normal amount and then i’m writing essays about 1 line from descendants 2#I AM UNWELL#anyway. jesus christ#descendants#jay son of jafar#EDIT i’m not finished actually#do you think jay fears the repercussions? what would happen if he went against coach’s word?#bc sure. he knows coach is nice. he knows auradon isn’t like the isle#but. ‘you don’t want to be at my house at dinner time’…….#he is still scared of his dad. you know. he can never get the lamp he can never do anything right
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I ain't done talking about the Elemental Alliance Actually (And some Predecessors)
This post is for the timeline of how things happen in my stories *Unless told otherwise, like in a crossover or if they setting is wildly different* and is most likely ( A Girl can dream) not canon compliant.
This is just for the main elements as no one else is really fleshed out yet. I'm getting there.
Putting this under a read more because I will eventually turn these into like short stories after noticing im... writing their entire backstory... uh oh Im going in too deep.
Man if I could draw ya'll would be getting so many doodles... one day.
We're just going back a generation and a half, since some of the Elemental Alliance that we see get their powers sooner/later than others.
The oldest in the EM Alliance, besides Garmadon, Wu, and Misako (I'll talk more about Misako later on in this post, as a treat. She's part of the Alliance too, after all <3) is Whint, Master of Ice.
Whint is in his late nineties when we see him in flashbacks, with Elemental Masters having expanded life spans.
People did not like the idea of Elemental Masters for a LONG time, and actively sent out people to hunt them. Either to kill them out of fear, or take their power for themselves.
When Whint found out about his powers as a young teen, he knew he was in trouble. Like every master of ice before *and after* him, he had visions and the gift of sixth sense. He would run on for several decades, trying to live in small villages and towns, and then in the Birchwood Forrest and the surrounding area when he noticed that his presence put people in grave danger.
He would leave pure devastation in his wake when he knew he was being followed by enemies. This is actually how Garmadon found him. He had been trailing Whint for nearly a week, trying to find the right time to show himself, as he had transformed into a falcon to follow him. After being nearly overwhelmed by enemies, Garmadon decided to show himself and save Whint.
After a lot of convincing, Garmadon finally got Whint to follow him back to the Monastery.
Whint is in his late sixties when he joins the brothers and some of the other elemental masters.
The Master of Lightning was just as tricky to find as Ice, if not more so. The Masters of Lightning never stayed in one place long, always retreating back into the desert. They never tell anyone their name, they never reveal their face, and they never reveal their intentions.
On average, the brothers and Misako have noted that the Masters of Lightning seem to have the shortest lifespan of the four main elements. With Lightning being the hardest to control, and with little to no training, by the time the three finally found a living master, several had already died mere years between each other.
A young teen by the name of Edna Walker had found the Master of Lightning herself. He was extremely tired, and had accidentally used his power in front of her while fixing up a vehicle he planned to steal.
Instead of ratting him out, as the town was full of people willing to do anything to get their hands on an elemental master (for money), she just grabbed him and drug him out of town.
While Edna thought on how to get him away from the desert safely, the two ended up forming a bond, with her being the first person to not actively try to hurt him.
Edna noticed that he never told her his name, only to be told he didn't have one, that he knew of. With that, the boy decided that his name would be Ed. The two were inseperable after that, and when Edna heard rumors of the brother's monastery, she took him there.
Imagine their surprise when they see an extremely skinny, very tired Master of Lightning show up on their doorstep.
*This is in order, they recruit Ed a few years after they recruit Whint, so Ed and Edna are... Hm... in their late 70's now?*
Years later, the two have a child and name her Libber. She receives the power of Lightning when she is thirteen years old.
During the time at the monastery together, Whint and Ed become close friends, and Whint is named the Godfather of Libber.
She is absolutely spoiled by her parents and you KNOW IT. She has such a bubbly and energetic personality and her parents are just so happy for her,, they know she'll be safe with the others.
Her and Lilly become best friends when she joins, as they are the youngest in the Offically Formed Elemental Alliance. (She is 19 and Lilly is 12, if the timeline is timelining thanks Ninjago Timeline)
Cole (Sr.) was the easiest next to Ray and Maya to find and recruit. He tended to hang around the monastery but was uncommitted to the cause. After much persuasion over the years, he finally commits to it.
He and Whint have to deal with a bunch of traumatized kids by the time they join. He helps build defenses around the monastery with his power and is the reason the Mountain of a Million Steps is Like That Somewhat (TM), actually.
He and his wife have a daughter, Lilly, and then his wife (Not named yet I'm sorry) dies from an illness.
He brings her around the monastery from time to time to get her adjusted to seeing other elemental masters, and then dies when she is twelve.
(I already spoke on Lilly. She got her own post Lets gooo)
Ember Smith, mother of Ray and Previous Master of Fire, led her own monastery not too far from the brothers. She was extremely strict on her teachings, and taught both Ray and Maya when they were young. Ray recieved her powers when he was still quite young, and she taught him how to harness them through brutal training.
*Ember wasn't apart of the EM Alliance but she is still quite important to its development*
She was killed in an apparent 'accident' at her monastery, with no one really knowing the truth behind it.
With Ray taking over, he and Wu were already quite close friends alongside Maya. Ray and Maya did Not start dating until their early 20's, though they did grow up together. (They did not have Kai and Nya until their late 20's-early 30's)
Ray had been surrounded by elemental masters and others who knew how to fight his entire life so settling in was much easier for him, although he was still grieving his mother.
Went to work forging weapons for the team, alongside Maya. With their Craftsmenship, they were practically unbeatable.
Practically.
Maya received her powers when she was six years old. She did not have her power passed down by a parent, as the previous master of water never had children, never really communicating with anyone else, let alone another elemental master.
They were so much of a recluse that the brothers and Misako could never discover who they were. Ember, however, seemed to know something that the others didn't and trained her alongside Ray. She learned how to harness how power quickly and how to be a destructive force.
Despite her strict upbringing she actually isn't very strict herself, and goes with the flow. "Oh I have these elemental powers now. That's cool! Ray and I match now!"
Little Maya definitely didn't have to put out fires around Ember's monastery when Ray's powers got out of control No Sir.
Now onto the Brothers.
These two classify their powers as elemental, though since they're the sons of the First Spinjitzu Master, everyone is pretty sure it's more than that.
When going to recruit Elemental Masters for the past few hundred years, Garmadon would go after the more estranged, dangerous, people while Wu would go after the ones that could be easily convinced.
Destruction and Creation are what their elements are listed as, though they tend to not use their powers in fear of causing more harm than good.
With the EM Alliance they let their Oni and Dragon features show out more, with Wu having a tail and more draconic features, while Garmadon had more Oni features. They usually used them to fight, as both had long sharp claws and teeth.
The two gave each other confidence, whenever they strode into battle or any distressed event, but with Garmadon's venom and the situation at hand, the relationship still was very stressed.
(The letter doesn't happen in any of my aus or stories btw. Im just... so sick of Love Triangles Please)
Misako is the one that tended to keep everyone together. She would accompany elemental master on missions that they needed to know more information about, and could fight very well.
Now, on to the... Misako Backstory.
She is effectively immortal, for reasons I cannot go into here as it will be explained a story I plan to write... somewhat soon. The brothers met her when they were children themselves.
Due to tragic circumstances, unfortunately.
Though this does help when she has to deal with booby trapped sites and the like, as even if they hit her she would just heal pretty quickly.
(Ala Salem from RWBY, but not evil. Actually a Lot Like Salem's situation from RWBY, if this gives any hints.)
Now here's the tragic run down in bullet points!!!
I have put Morro's whole ordeal about a Hundred years before the EM Alliance was formed. Garmadon was also off with Chen at the time *Dark Magic increasing Life Span as well* Wu hasn't stopped thinking about him even for a day.
The brothers/Misako were all teens when they started searching for their first generation of elemental masters, as their father had just died and they were desperate to find people to help them protect Ninjago.
The order of the EMs dying goes: Ember, Cole (SR) Libber (Technically but not really <3) Whint (Right after Libber) and then Lilly. (With the other Ems either dying as well or scattering after the war/time twins)
Ed and Edna have forgotten all about Libber somehow, and most of their past has been... replaced... by different memories.
Lilly got to visit Ray and Maya Twice before she got very sick. This means Cole and Kai technically DID meet, but lol ain't no toddlers remembering that. Ray and Maya also go missing shortly after and!!! No one knows!!! Because they've all distanced themselves by force or by fear
Misako wanted to raise Lloyd on her own so badly that it still eats her up inside that she left him at Darklys. She wanted to save her family so badly and technically she did and then in the end it didn't matter anyway and now it matters again all of a sudden and the last she saw of her husband he tried to murder her and *rambles*
Whint ran off when Libber was reported missing. He went to her parents first, only to learn that they don't remember him, and they definitely do not remember their own daughter.
This was made worse when he realized that his suspicions of Cliff selling her out were true when Ed And Edna showed him Jay, now thinking that the woman must have been the one to leave her child at their doorstep.
While going back to report to Wu he notices that he is being followed, and in an act of desperation runs into the Birchwood Forrest to try and lose them.
He's never heard of again until Wu comes to Birchwood Forrest himself and finds Zane.
Wu, in the beginning did NOT want to recruit The Main Four (Kai, Jay, Zane, Cole) as he believed they would be better off doing whatever they were doing before being unaware of their history and their true power.
In the end his fear of losing Ninjago to his brother and Misako convincing him that their parents/predecessors would not want them to live ignorant of their power/lives, he sets off to find them. Deadset on atoning for what he believes are his mistakes.
Anything I didn't put here are way too spoilery for the EM Alliance fic I plan on writing (and I haven't mentioned the time Twins/some of the others in the alliance for the same reason)
In my stories I DO make the Emperor and Empress like straight up evil, trying to keep the EM's under their thumb, or else.
"They're very private people" and the fact that we don't really have a clear timeline of Ninjago's history... like it skips from the FSM being around to the EM Alliance. And thats all we really see, because yeaah it's not relevant but what if its because it was kept a secret what if... (Things that will be talked about more in an offical au post when... when I actually get a cohessive plot down) and Mystake even filling in some of the FSM's history and how Ninjago actually came to be... Considering no one knew of the... civilization in the sea that predated Ninjago. And the Keepers.
Anyway they are so interesting and tragic to me and *twirls hair* why can't I write this much in fics that I am currently working on I'm crying.
#Whint Ninjago#That's... thats his most popular name? I think#Ive only heard Whint and one other name that I forget atm#you will NEVER find Misako or Wu slander on this blog#or any slander on any other character that people tend to hate i think.#i will write about the repercussions of that tho#that you Frozengear shippers for the name for Whint#thank*#ninjago#ninjago ed#ninjago edna#edna walker#ed walker#Libber Walker#can't wait to dig into Walker Family Drama#lilly ninjago#lilly brookstone#cole sr ninjago#yeah im tagging him like that just in case#wu Ninjago#garmadon Ninjago#Lord Garmadon#ninjago misako#misako montgomery garmadon#Maya Smith#Maya Ninjago#Ray Smith#Ive reached... the tag limit *salute*#thanks tumblr mobile i can't get rid of the freaking poll but ok
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I think a lot of people don't support punitive justice on a governmental level (good), but they don't understand why punitive justice is overarchingly a bad thing, so they still operate with the idea that it's still the Best Option, but only when they can wield it.
Of course, there is a difference between a government having access to punitive justice and individuals or a small community having access to it, but the mindset is still strikingly similar. I've seen it time and time again where one's desire to destroy after even a small slight outweighs anything else, and that's alarming, actually. Yes, it's understandable, but I still don't think it is a healthy impulse or knee-jerk reaction for every minor affront.
#politics#i'm sure i talked about this before but it still strikes me as important#how exactly will everybody be helped by using the absolute extremes of 'justice'?#and because people only know punitive extreme forms of 'justice' that seems to be the only frame of reference they have...#...so when somebody proposes other methods of justice it is seen not unlike abuse or assault apologia or something extreme...#...because the nuance isn't there to recognize levels of severity in an action where punitive justice isn't going to work#and i'd argue that people are generally more invested in the perpetrator/s of abuse rather than the victims/survivors left in their wake#so people frame the discussion as Protecting Victims as a Class but really#ARE you helping us? and if so - what are you doing beyond going After Our Abuser/s?#people think it helps us to Go After The Abuser/s. much less do they think about *us* as people and what we need i think.#maybe its selfish of me but i know my abuser will never face any repercussions beyond people judging them slightly for what they did to me..#...so me personally i would rather people take their fury with my abuser (in my real life) and maybe invest it in myself and others...#...maybe hell will be waiting with open arms for them when they die. but i'm still going through hell because of them so i feel it's even#maybe i've just ~given up~ but i want to help people rather than immediately going After People#not everything CAN be solved with an eye for an eye. not everything SHOULD.
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HENRY KISSINGER DIED??
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Listening to women right now is very important. We are witnessing other women step forward and speak about their experiences with Wilbur. As men, we need to be listening, because it's never just one woman.
However, we also must not forget the value of our voices. We as men need to step up and say that this behavior is unacceptable. We need to talk about it. We need to call out our friends and our brothers for this behavior.
Men that hurt women will not listen to women, but they will listen to men. If we truly want to support women right now, we need to be vocal about our support. We need to show up and acknowledge the reality—Shubble is not the only woman that has experienced this kind of abuse.
There are many women in our personal lives that experience this abuse. Abusers could be our closest friends, family, mentors, and leaders. We cannot let our guard down. We cannot sacrifice our morals to keep the peace. We must remain vocal. This behavior cannot be socially acceptable.
We say that we support women. We say that we will support domestic violence survivors. But when the abuse is staring you in the eyes, we remain complacent. This is not acceptable.
#this is one of two posts#i wanted to make another point but it felt clumsy in this one#i used to work as a line cook in fine dining#very male dominated industry#a lot of very tough and hyper masculine personalities#being any less of what we thought men should be would damage your reputation#but real strength came in unwavering opposition#it came from telling your misogynistic coworkers to go fuck themselves#that theyd never have your allyship behaving like that#there are repercussions#there are physical altercations#but the women in my life are worth it#and i will not disrespect them with my silence#unrelated to the post but i still wanted to say#shubble said that she paid for everything and wilbur never even bought a single dinner#yall#a real man would pick up some overtime#hed take you to a mcdonalds if he had to#hed hold your hand and take you on the bus#whatever he could afford#but hed buy you a fucking dinner#because he cared to work for you#if any man in your life wont buy you a dinner or hold the door open for you#hes a pathetic man#not worth your time#he needs to get his shit together single#raise your standards to men that are willing to sacrifice something for you#thoughts of dante#wilbur soot#shubble
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it’s so weird and bizarre to me the concept that there are people out there who’s friends & family BUY their art off them. when i was growing up my art was an obligation to others and it led me to a lot of repressed resentment for the people around me. like when id ask my mother what my sister might want for her birthday she’d just tell me to draw her something. or just my family asking me to make them things in general. like they were all very presumptuous with it and their right to it and it caused me to drop art and hate it for a not insignificant amount of time until i had properly distanced myself from them and was finally able to create for myself and not for them
#phox.txt#like my family would never in their life even think about giving me a cent for my work but they would and have tried to force shit out of m#and then gotten mad/disappointed when i couldn’t provide like a circus pony or some shit#i had to heavily censor everything i did as well because they would regularly find my sketchbooks and go through them any time i wasn’t#actively guarding them#and that forced self censorship is something i still struggle with to this day#still trying to convince myself that i am allowed to make and do whatever the fuck i want and that there won’t be repercussions for anything#deemed inappropriate or just not suitable for who i was supposed to be
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the world if guys who catcall immediately went to jail for it like anti-feminists believe
#dont take this seriously im anti carceral and all im just drunk posting at the family dinner#meemaw there are guys who kill women and never face any repercussions for it
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"I heard we had some visitors." He smiled, devoid of warmth. "News does travel fast here. I do hope you've enjoyed your time in Haven?" "Far as insular communities go, I'd put it in my top three," Trinne replied breezily.
I've mentioned I love my girl, right?
#trinne ily never change#let's snark at the cult leader#surely THAT won't have any repercussions#trinne amell#owap
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…
#ooc ;#tbd.#I just have to vent a little… I don’t really like that GH used ai to gen the faces for most of the characters. like I get it’s purpose#to create vague implications of people that look familiar but unfamiliar at the same time.#but … u can just give that prompt to an artist… we can do that… we always have#he should have used a realistic style artist who can create near photorealistic depictions of people. to INTENTIONALLY DESIGN the characters#like… intentionality in design is so crucial? why just… accept a vague depiction of what you want. because it’s free?#idk I’m an artist and none of the common ai image gen tools are ethical AT ALL#they all use STOLEN WORK… INCLUDING PRIVATE MEDICAL PHOTOS OF REAL PEOPLE#so like yeah it works good… so does stealing#stealing works great if u never have any repercussions lol#sorry rant over it’s just…. wills hair is so confusing it makes no sense and I can never get it consistent#BECAUSE IT DOESNT HAVE A HAIR STYLE BC ITS AI FUCK YOU#god. ai ruins everything I love literally#it’s so stupid. hire artists??
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hey uhhh i went thru ur oc post history and u said gus set himself on fire?? pls context
I love this character because whenever someone asks about him I always have to take a deep breath and get comfortable and suck a breath in through my teeth. I treat him so poorly
More Gus lore, because that specific event is actually tied to the very first event that would fuck him up forever, so I can't really talk about it without going in depth.
This is explaining the core tenent of Augustijn's story, which is guilt and its dangers. Basically, where that constant guilt came from, and how it...turned out for him...
It turns out okay. Just...takes 200+ years, an apocalypse, a divorce, and his son dying! 🥳Yay🥳
Tw; Religious trauma, child abuse, suicide, drug use, cannibalism, mental illnesses, and yet another suicide attempt.
So, some background, Gus's mom, Emma, was a fanatic catholic and generally Bat Shit about religion. As you might imagine, this is the Direct Source of both Gus' questionable worldviews, traumas, and his biological inclination to uuuhhh bad Head Times.
Emma was raised mildly religious, but she...took to it too hard? Her family was not the cause of her obsession, Gus's grandparents and uncles/aunts over there actually cut her off at one point, because she was starting to worry them but reaching out led to her lashing out. So, they just...backed off. Emma herself was a simple, homebody woman, who wanted to be at home raising her kids, and tending her garden. She would have been this way even without the religious thing.
But Emma and her side of the family were prone to addiction, see? And religion became her point of fixation and obsession. This could have still been okay, if not for the church she went into. A catholic church in the Hague that was known by all for being kind of fucking out there, even by other hardcore Catholics. This was one she went into, and even her grandchild 240+ years later would feel the ripple of this decision.
Emma goes into church and gets gnarly ideas about how life works. Its a woman's duty to have kids and raise them, to be good to her husband and her house, to listen and obey her men. Sin is inevitable and everyone does it, only those that admit and accept punishment can get another chance at Paradise. God knows every action you take and he does not care for the context, he only cares about the action. There is no "well, but" under the Lord.
Emma has mental illness, some kind of depression and anxiety, so this Big Brother Watching And Judging fucked her up. Especially since her church, in particular, was physically abusive if you did not confess to anything during confession. They thought if you had nothing to confess, you were lying.
At this point, she's met and engaged to Theodore Reinier, a rich heir to a European manufacturing company. He's pretty, a gentleman, and best of all, rich, so she can have as big and luxurious a garden as she wants. She likes him. She does not love him. She's in her twenties and unmarried with no kids, and her poor family needs to be taken care of. So she marries him. Theodore is smart enough to see this for what it is, and kind enough to allow it. He lets his wife do her own thing and treats her as a friend, rather than a lover. She hates this, she wants to be a wife (she doesnt). She wants kids, he gives her one. Augustijn. This birth goes rough, and she's told no more children.
Theodore makes one rule; August goes to a different church, or he does not go at all. Theo really didn't like Emma's church and he certainly wasn't exposing his kid to that shit.
Emma pretends to agree and takes Gus to That Church. Theo doesn't attend, so he doesn't know this is happening until much later. Gus gets all the same nasty shit Emma does. Theo learns of this when he sees Gus covered in bruises from confession beatings. This puts a huge rift between him and Emma, and he pulls all the strings he can to have her church shut down.
Emma grows to resent and hate Theo and Augustijn for not being the perfect husband and child she deserves as a good, God fearing house wife. Augustijn is left to his nannies, Emma hides away in her private garden, fuming. Theodore tries to bond with his son, but Emma's poisoned that well.
Emma tells Augustijn about demons, to fear them. She specifically tells him about church grims, demons that hunt around churches in the form of a dog to drag sinners to hell. She says this as she's admiring her new obsidian dog statues for her garden.
Eventually, Emma goes yellow wallpaper and loses her mind, and is sent to therapy and put on medications. Augustijn loathes his father for his mother's state. Theodore just wants his friend and son okay. But Emma, as she's out in town, coming back from therapy, she stops at a friend's house while the friend isn't there, and hooks up with the woman's husband. Friend's husband was stern, strict with his wife, God fearing, and generally an obnoxious 50s ideal shithead husband. Everything Emma wanted. This wasn't out of nowhere, it was brewing in the background. She knew both of them from her old church.
Emma goes home, and finally having a reason for the guilt that's always plagued her, elects to acknowledge her sin. She drowns herself in the pond of her garden, stared down by three dark, ruby-eyed dogs, overseeing her passage into the afterlife. Her young son comes into the garden to meet his mother, after she's been gone all day, only to find her in a red pool. He looks up into the eyes of the dogs. He remembers nothing of this incident, blocking it out and having been too young to understand.
Years pass, and Augustijn turns to drugs as well, though his come from the darkest parts of the Hague, rather than a doctor. He turns to sex, to crime, to anything he thinks will either corrupt him so much he doesn't care, or will finally make his guilt feel justified. He wears his mother's cross necklace through it all, and sees her beloved dog with every sin.
Augustijn goes to America for college, to Harvard, studying to become a pastor himself. (This is maybe the most terrifying part of him, the fact that he almost got it). But he doesn't feel satisfied with it, has a moment of clarity and realizes he isn't fit to preach anything. The grim certainly doesn't think so. He instead follows his only friend, Isadora, into the military. The US government allowing their soldiers to do chems means his failed drug tests don't matter.
Augustijn becomes a sniper. He has always hurt people, excelled in it, but taking life frightens him, because he knows he has no right to decide who lives or dies, not like this. But he's in China, and he's told to kill. He does, and he's very good at it. His teammates marvel at just how scrappy and determined he is, like a weed, a mold.
The Biandukou Pass Incident occurs. He eats his entire team, trapped in a Chinese mountain range during a blizzard.
Delirious from almost two months of surviving on nothing but psycho and human flesh, Augustijn is let loose back into Boston, honorably discharged. His lingering hallucinations from his Daytripper addiction, mixed with psycho withdrawal, trauma, guilt, shame, the fear of God—everything culminates. He looks up and sees the figure that has haunted him since that one, awful day; the church grim, staring expectantly.
His mother drowned herself, so he thought it fitting if he set himself ablaze.
#ss; alter#I hate to put a word to his specific illness because you always get people like 'this isnt what i think this is like so pls die'#but i imagine he'd be diagnosed with hppd#hallucinogen persisting perception disorder. basically lingering effects of hallucinogenics after use#the point of emma is that she did not ever see past the shit#Augustijn gradually learns how to reject his guilt and view himself objectively#and comes to see how he was hurt and how he hurt others. and accepts that he has a right to feel hurt but an obligation to be better#emma doesnt. she never would have even if she survived her attempt#its like. you only feel guilt because its a concept put into you#and emma taught him guilt. always feel dirty and shameful.#but. she didnt feel guilty. not really. she was confident in all of her actions and never once hesistated#she thought it was guilt just because she knew how it would look to other people. thats not guilt thats awareness.#she wasnt guilty she feared repercussions.#meanwhile her son grew up always ashamed and horrified at himself and was desperate for any kind of comeuppance#not to make it okay because he knew it wouldn't. but because he deserved it#accountability and justice are also big concepts in gus' character. the idea that someone becoming better and earnestly doing it#is better and more worthwhile than them suffering for their actions. this comes up with the Institute and Isadora#anyway if any of you come at me bitching about portaying a woman as abusive im biting#'joe no one does fhat' they literally do. its happened to me before. yall say you support womens wrongs until theyre abusive moms#anyway. fun fact; being beaten during confessions is why gus cant admit when hes done wrong for like 30 years. its a trauma/trigger#gus really is just. 'how do i process what happened to me without losing my mind'#and he lost his mind. but he does everything he can to find it again. because he doesnt want to feel this way anymore
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Not to dropkick a hornets nest or anything but I think a lot of you have really lost the plot on the whole internet privacy thing.
#mine#text post#posts about nothing for no one#I don’t want to expand too much because this isn’t a fully formed thought#but like#it kind of seems like a lot of people are simply committed to never paying for anything ever#or having any sort of repercussions for online activity at any point#which like. fair enough. but framing it as some existential fight for human rights#and not Capitalism: The Escape Room feels a little lame to me#you cannot all possibly be high level internet criminals with developed ethics systems#a tracked ad or two is cosmically horrifying to a degree but it’s not a threat of violence
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hi i was the sagutoyas ask. yes, it’s absolutely terrifying that the warriors community finds stuff like this to be drama or discourse. drama does not involve putting a minor into uncomfortable situations, or at risk of their mental/psychological health. these things are traumatizing. and i think a lot of it is because of the fact that this is so common within the warriors community; but that doesn’t make it okay. it’s terrifying that us as a community are making it seem normal that this stuff happens, because it’s not okay. it’s strange that one a popular wc animator does inappropriate things to a minor, adults in the fandom finally speak up about protecting minors. but, that’s the way i saw it personally. overall, it’s a terrifying reality the power dynamics a famous youtuber can have. you still see people defend sagutoyas and i think that’s something concerning. i have a feeling that most of these people defending her are minors themselves, and i think that’s scary.
yeah its just terrible. i truly see it as people just handling serious situations in a very terminally online way. like they are so used to their anonymity and communicating through fandom. and it's gradually becoming the norm (and i think the heard/depp thing is a prime example of how these things are affecting real life) which is frightful. additionally, the fact that victims are treated poorly due to the way these situations are approached is just fucked up.
#not a confession#text#anonymous#asks#ask to tag#i can already see them working on their looong#text post regarding the situation#then disappearing off the face of the earth#and ppl are ok with that#rather than this person facing repercussions#and its the fact that this happens so much#not just in the wc fandom but online#and these people are never in any legal trouble#its shitty
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personal rambling in tags
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#I don’t even know how to explain my mental state lately#I’ve never felt hotter I’ve never felt worse about my body I’ve never been more private I’ve never had more people in my life up my ass#even more intense than the feeling of being unfuckable and my anxiety flare-ups whenever I feel particularly aware of my body#is the fear that people are getting bored of me#that I’m just not enough to hold their interest anymore‚ or that they’re tired of hearing about how I’m doing‚ especially when it’s bad#sorry for treating this like a diary#but I just don’t know. it feels like everyone is getting bored of me because I’m an exhausting person#and I hate being 25 I hate being the age that my brother was when he bought his first house with his now-wife#I hate feeling like everyone is watching me all the time but no one is interested#I wish I could just… disappear for a year without any repercussions and do the things I need to do and then come back
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This is why I reject the idea that fanfiction isn't "real" writing. If you're a writer who's joining an existing project - be it a comic, a TV show, a game series, whatever - you need to have a very specific skillset:
You need to be able to study characters that aren't yours and figure out who they are on a deep level - not just personality and motives, but the way they talk, the way they emote, things they would or wouldn't do and what it would take to make them act differently.
You need to be able to work within the confines of existing history and worldbuilding, and evaluate whether something you want to add makes sense in the context of the world.
If you're going to introduce something that contradicts existing worldbuilding, you need to be able to justify it in-universe.
If you want a character to do something that contradicts their previous behavior, you need to show how the character justifies it to themself, or why they don't recognize it as a contradiction.
I'm not saying every fanfic writer has these skills, by any means - some fic writers don't care about canon compliance, some prefer to create their own versions of the world, and yeah, some just aren't very good writers. But if you're one of those writers who does work within the existing canon, and you get good at it, you're way more qualified to take over an ongoing story than some "real" writer who has never written canon-compliant fanfic in their life and is more interested in telling their story than continuing the characters' stories.
hey its me comic writer who constantly mischaracterizes characters because i turn them into ocs and two-dimensional self-inserts i'm gonna make your favorite character more accessible to new readers by regressing their growth, retconning longstanding canon, and ultimately making the timeline impossible to follow thus discouraging new readers while also inconveniencing dedicated fans by destroying the character they love so much hope you understand
#I specify canon-compliant fanfic because I know of at least one comic writer who did write fic before becoming an official writer#But as far as I know it had very little to do with canon and was just for personal entertainment#Which is fine but it doesn't develop the skills you would need to take over an ongoing story#And he did not show any interest in respecting preexisting canon when he became an official writer#Or in respecting the other writers' ongoing stories for that matter#“Oh yeah this plot point would have major repercussions for a huge number of characters.”#“But you'll never see them deal with those repercussions at all because they have a different writer with their own story in progress.”#“Also I'm borrowing this character from the other writer for a few issues.”#“But I can't go three pages without a joke so this really serious character who's kinda struggling mentally is gonna be a bit goofy.”#“Don't worry; we'll ignore that really major event in his recent past that gives him something in common with the villain here."#“He would fight the villain anyway so who really cares about self-reflection or nuance.”
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