#i wanna have my own life and i wanna be happy with someone
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gregmarriage · 5 months ago
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okay, but literally, sometimes? the only way you can be happy? you’re gonna have to disappoint your parents. yeah, sorry x
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puppppppppy · 4 months ago
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wish they would just let me live on wuhu island man.. kicks pebble and sighs
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softshuji · 10 months ago
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Any men out there wanna pretend to be my bf to get my parents off my case about marriage? I am so so serious right now.
#my mom gave me a really really lonf lecture and upset me because her and my dad want me to start thinking about settling down ans getting#married. again. cos this comes up all the time. ans I reiterated that i do wanna marry and have kids. i know im 26 years old why do they'#think im also not aware of this??? like i suddenly forgot my own age and have my head in the clouds all the time. and i got so heated cos i#said they only believe in that in theory. in reality neither of them have accepted the idea od my leaving home or the idea of mw being with#a man. and they start freaking out if they even find out i talk to them so to say they want me to get married is so fucking naive#ans when i mentioned this and that they're more than ok w mt brothers talking tp women she said that if i wanted to settle down she could#talk to dad and they could “go about finding someone for me” and I've never been so pissed#i got so upset. why does everyone keep saying this to me. as if anyone my dad knows could ever be a half decent man#and the truth is they don't care if im in a happy marriage they've accepted that i won't be they only care that im gone and saving face in#front of family. that's all. it's always reputation it's always “what will people say?”#not once did love come up. not once did shw even imply that i should marryfor love#or that they hope i love someone and marry them. because they're more happy with the idea of me marrying for the sake of it than#they are at the idea of me finding genuine lovw#im not a fucking broodmare im not here to push out babies for the sake od reputation.#and then i said nor being married isn't the end of the world and she said “it's important that you settle down”#and i said im unwavering in my principles. she can call mw high maintenance like she loves doing but I'm not wavering on the#kind of man i want to be with and when i do marry him i want it to bw genuine. because be loves me and vice versa not because im ticking off#somethin from a damn checklist to appease them. and if being unwavering on my principles means staying unmarried then so be it.#my obligations are to god and myself and that's it#and y'know what??? i am in love with a boy already#and yet they don't care that i wanna be in love at all. no im just a puppet to follow a certain narrative in life live according to evergone#else has and that's it.#im done.#and then she tried to apologise by getting me a slice of cake and that somehow made me feel worse.#i dont want an apology. i want to be heard and actually listened to for once. i want someone to ask what i want. to actually give a shit#and love me cos it's me. not cos im some thing to further an agenda. or some toy or puppet that does your bidding.#is it so much??? to just want to be loved in return? to marry and live according to how i want to?? ans not want anyone to make these#decision's for me?#ruined my whole day.
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lemonynuggets · 3 months ago
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Can i take u to england?
yeah
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gay-fordeath · 6 months ago
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#dont call anyone im safe im fine im just venting. tw for suicide/self harm/kind of intense language. ideally no ones reading this tho#bro i cant keep living like this#i dread waking up every day so much that i dread even falling asleep#i got insomnia medication in my system and my brain is still like nope absolutely not#i cant keep up at my job even when i am rested enough#i get headaches every other day#my instant mental reaction in the face of stress is to hurt myself (i have not)#like fuck. i work for the disability department of an insurance company#i know for a fact that (probably) every contract stipulates we wont cover disabilities as a result of self inflicted injuries#which is supposed to prevent ppl from taking advantage of the system or whatever#and im always like if someone goes to the lengths of actively injuring themselves to the point of disability#in the name of 'getting out of work'#that person is not 'taking advantage of the system' THAT PERSON IS FUCKING MENTALLY ILL#AND I WOULD KNOW BC I AM ONE OF THOSE PPL#do not come for me on some shit about wanting to disable yourself being morally questionable i cant be concerned abt that rn#i gotta focus on the fact that i hate my life so much id rather break my own right hand than continue it#its an improvement from the active suicidal ideation but its still a symptom of the passive ideation#fucking hell. im too self aware so i absolutely feel like im faking it or making shit up so i can be lazy and not work and whatever#but FUCKING CHRIST theres no way. if i had a choice i wouldnt let myself feel like this.#i just got to a point where i can live alone and support myself. i was so happy and so proud of myself. I don't want to lose that#but god every phone call i have to make for work makes me want to hurt myself. every early morning (and there arent many!!! i mostly work#from home!!!) makes me wish i was dead. i have to sleep for hours after work more often than not. i cant really maintain my living space#theres fucking. mold and discoloration and shit on a bunch of my clothes and some of my bags and shit!!#cause i cant fucking keep my room clean and my basement apartment got fucking humid over the summer and so much moisture got trapped#i constantly have dirty dishes getting moldy before i get to them#i just dont have the fucking energy. i want to take better care of my space. i want to be more social. i just want to go to sleep without#fucking dreading waking up. i wanna go a full week without a headache. i want my stress response to be something other than the intense and#overwhelming desire to cut myself. if i start again i dont know if ill be able to stop and i know i wont be able to keep it to my arms/legs/#easily hidden parts of my body. last breakdown i escalated to my face and i know ill pick up from there.#fuck
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zero-a · 2 years ago
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people will go all "just be yourself and love yourself! :)" and then go "if you don't act the way i want, you gotta reprogram your entire way of thinking then reach into the very core of who you are and what makes you you, discard it, and replace it with this better, friendlier, more empathetic version that's coincidentally far more convenient for me to deal with than any other possible compromise we can make that you can do for me but doesn't stretch your mind to nothing but thin bands of what you'd consider 'You' :))))))"
#mine.txt#just thinking about all those 'think positively!' and 'romanticize your life!' posts#like on one hand i can see their merit cause self-hatred though instinctual is ultimately detrimental to your mental health#but on the other hand...some of them (a lot of them) are really just unashamedly asking other people to completely change themselves huh#all in the guise of ''positive thinking'' ''self-love'' and ''betterment'' no less#i suppose i shouldnt be surprised considering most people can barely grasp the concept of someone who Genuinely has muted emotions#as a natural state instead of a depressive symptom#not to mention the human quality of escalating things#so ofc tumblr which seems to currently be in its mental health recovery phase would naturally lean in so hard towards ''radical happiness''#but man sometimes i really do just wanna shake the person from behind the screen and say#'no! dont you understand! this is just how i am! stop implying that everybody who doesnt feel joy at simply waking up is a miserable hag!'#sometimes they dont even imply it they just straight up say it 💀#im honestly fine (as in idc) with seeing them but they remind me so much of those toxic positivity bitches that sell you random hoaxes#and tell you that youre ''ruining their vibes'' when youre not just beaming like the sun every waking second#well idc most of the time that is#sometimes they just trigger my szpd (and my dpd weirdly enough)#with the szpd obviously i dont like being told what to do and what to feel and having some rando assume things about me#but with the dpd its like#oh i must be doing something wrong ofc this stranger on the internet knows more about emotions and feelings than me#cause im a dumbass who doesnt Feel things therefore i must do what they say even to my own detriment#this mainly applies to those guilt-trippy ones so ive learned to steer clear of them#possibly even block the op
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blizzardfluffykpop · 10 months ago
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recently reminded myself how much i loved day6 and i've just been having sm fun rediscovering old favorites and listening to new songs and just falling in love with them all over again-
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sk3l3t0n444 · 1 year ago
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i wanna play animal crossing but i get really stressed about the amount of stuff i can do and how i dont know what i should do and it always reminds me that i should be working on shit :(
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nebulaleaf · 2 years ago
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uaaaugh i need to unpack but i can't get off the floor. why do anything...
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gotta-bail-my-quails · 5 months ago
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the k in my name stands for king
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lilowoof · 10 months ago
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OUGH, these feelings of loneliness have been so strong lately.... going from having someone to talk to here n there to just radio silence kinda hurts, ngl X'D
I've done this song n dance before and IDM waking up to no messages or not having ppl close to me to chat to but still! Having a taste of closeness with ppl, only for it to be ripped out of my hands, by my choice, or theirs, or both just...... It hurts!
Thankfully I do have some great pals whom I can reach out to if needed so it's not like I am 100% alone XDD I guess I'm just trying to readjust to the current situation. And I know that I have the power to reach out to ppl and also to check out events in town to meet ppl! It's hard for me to do those things but I have the power to, gotta give myself grace and take things one step at a time, as I usually do!
I just wish it didn't hurt so badly haha!! (also this is not an invitation for ppl to dm me (unless u really want to for some reason). I just like writing down my thoughts so I can dissect them better and of course not bottle things up, etc etc)
#don't get me wrong: most of the time I adore just being in my own head and alone!#but when I wanna talk to someone about stuff that is happening.....good or bad. and having no one#THAT's when it hurts the most#doesnt help that this year was kinda just like yay more ppl to hang with- oh they either dropped me as a friend#or prefer to hang with others who are better players (for salmon at least). AH WELL#I really want to go back to the dating apps just so I can TRY to meet ppl even if it doesnt work. AND MEETUP TOO I gotta get on that#tho I do need to reach out to ppl privately to play fish game with since I tend to just wait for ppl to come to me and#thats not the way to go.... if only I was a god tier player so more ppl would reach out LSDGKNSDHG JKJK IM happy with those that do poke me#and of course chatting with ppl in servers helps too but it sucks when they arent avail or what I say gets ignored :')#BUT YE. while I AM sad over all of this.... I do have the power to make the change so hopefully the executive dysfunction allows for it#I want to think about how much I wanna live#not about how much I want to fade away and die. ya need some good ppl in life and since I dont have that in the fam. I need the friends :D#actually all of this stemmed from the realization I had on priv that I basically have no family to lean on. like. at all. no connection#or trust#and to not have any pals that can fill that role too!!! YEAH IT SUCKS! but I will try to mitigate the pain. work is easing up so I have tim#hahaha I kinda feel better typing this all out! that was the goal after all
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cloakedsparrow · 8 months ago
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Dick: Okay, I think we’re gonna have to do ‘Good Cop, Bad Cop’.
Jason: Yeah. It’s tropey but it works.
Dick: Exactly. Wanna flip for Bad Cop?
Jason: You’re kidding.
Dick: Or we could play Rock, Paper, Scissors, Lizard, Spock?
Jason: Dude, I can’t be Good Cop. I kill people, remember? You can’t kill people and be Good Cop.
Dick: Those were traffickers and mob lieutenants. These are Rogue goons.
Jason: What, like that matters?
Dick: Yes, that matters. They don’t care that you took out some mobsters. They care that you revived the Joker after beating him to death and then let him go.
Jason: I didn’t revive him, I just didn’t let him die yet! And I didn’t let him go either! That was Batman! I was gonna kill the psycho!
Dick: Yeah, well, you still kept him alive and the goons probably know it. Just like they know I was happy to leave him dead when I killed him.
Jason: What?
Dick: You heard me.
Jason: You…?
Dick: Killed the Joker? Yes. I thought he killed Timmy and then when I confronted him, he said your name and…I didn’t stop hitting him until he choked on his own blood.
Jason: Then…how is he still alive?
Dick: Batman revived him.
Jason Fucking what?
Dick: Yeah.
Jason: Well, now I definitely can’t be Good Cop. I’m way to pissed for that shit.
Dick: Well, so am I.
Jason: Fuck.
Dick: Fuck.
Jason: So now whadda we do? Try to beat it outta him?
Dick: No, he'll lock down. That's why I suggested "Good Cop, Bad Cop" to begin with.
Jason: So we need a Good Cop.
Dick: Okay, I’m gonna call Timmy and see if he can come play Good Cop.
Jason: Good plan.
Dick [talking into a secure (& Batman-proof) phone]: Hey, Robin, you busy?
Tim [on speakerphone]: Kinda, yeah. What’s going on? You sound weird.
Dick: Hood and I need to get some intel from a goon, and we’re thinking “Good Cop, Bad Cop” is the way to go but neither of us can pull off Good Cop right now.
Tim: Shit. I’m in Bangkok right now-
Jason: The fuck are you doing in Bangkok?
Tim: Speedy needed help with a thing.
Dick: In Bangkok?
Tim: No. She’s in Korea.
Jason: So, again, why the fuck are you in Bangkok?
Tim: Because Lady Shiva’s here and she’s perfect for what Speedy needs, so I’m calling in a favor she owes me.
Dick: You’re calling in a favor from Lady Shiva because Speedy needs help with a thing in Korea.
Tim: Yep. You got it.
Dick: No, that’s- You say that like it doesn’t require any further-
Tim: Can you hang on for a second? There’s an assassin tailing me.
Dick: Shit. Do you need us to send someone out there?
Jason; Starfire should be done with her thing by now. She's not on your shit list, right?
Tim: No, I like Kori. But I’m good now. My assassin got the other assassin.
Dick: You have an assassin?
Tim: Kinda? She defected from the League of Assassins and is up for hire but she always gives me priority since she feels like she owes me a life-debt.
Dick: Again, you sound like you think that statement doesn’t require any further explanation.
Jason: So you hired your assassin buddy to kill the other assassin?
Tim: What? No. Of course not. She didn’t kill him. We’ll question him later. She never kills on my jobs since she knows I don’t like it.
Dick: What about other jobs?
Tim: That’s her business. We aren’t all control freaks, you know.
Dick: That’s-
Jason: That’s good, Little Red. Good that you have healthy boundaries.
Dick: I have healthy boundaries.
Jason: Sure you do.
Tim: Okay, you’re gonna have to argue that on your own. I’m supposed to help my friends out with something after I get Shiva to help Speedy, but I have to handle this interrogation first. So how about I just send my friends the twenty-five plans I drew up and ask Bunker if he minds helping you out before he joins us? He should be able to get inside Gotham in less than ten minutes.
Jason: Oh, Bunker’s perfect for Good Cop.
Tim: Right? They’ll spill everything and probably give him their grandma’s secret family recipes on top of it.
Dick: Wait. Back it up. You have twenty-five plans drawn up? What are you guys up against?
Tim: Nothing we can’t handle. Young Justice figures, why even bother with a plan B if you aren’t gonna cover the whole alphabet?
Jason: There’s twenty-six letters in the alphabet, Little Red.
Tim: Yeah, but plan Z is always the same, so we don’t bother listing it anymore.
Dick: Is it ‘get an adult’?
Tim: Of course not.
Jason: When you were a Teen Titan, how often did you call in an adult when you probably should have?
Dick: Okay, that’s fair.
Jason: So what’s plan Z?
Tim: ‘Fuck it, we ball’.
Dick: That’s not a pl-
Jason: That’s perfect. I love it.
Dick: No. Don’t encourage him.
Tim: Thanks, Red. So do you want me to ask Bunker about helping you? I’m kinda on a time crunch now.
Jason: Yes, please.
Tim: Okay. He’s on the way. Is there anything else?
Dick: Whe-
Jason: No, we’re good. Have fun storming the castle!
Tim: ‘Kay, bye!
Jason: Bye!
Dick: The fuck-
Jason: Bunker and I can handle the interrogation here and Timmy and his assassin friend are gonna be busy with an interrogation there for a bit. If you take off now, you can probably catch up with him and go all big brother like you’re dying to.
Dick: You sure?
Jason: Yeah, I’m sure me and Bunker can handle this asshole.
Dick: Thank you.
Jason: Yeah, well, you did kill the Joker. That’s gotta count for something, right?
Dick: I’ll tell you all about it after I make sure Timmy doesn’t get himself killed or lose another organ.
Jason: I’ll hold you to- Timmy lost an organ?
Dick [already calling Kori to get him to Tim]: Later. I’m on a time crunch now!
Jason: I’m holding you to that!
Jason: *sighs* No one in this family knows how to share.
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neverendingford · 2 years ago
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#thinking a lot about morality and utility versus absolute and picking fights with my father and christian friends about the nature of people#morality sometimes does have to be learned. I was a significantly more shitty individual back in 2015 when I got on tumblr#but I learned that community is important. they violence in defense of others is justified required and admirable#I learned that emotions that are commonly considered negative can always be channeled into something constructive#that tumblr post about a selfish warlord protecting her kingdom because THEY'RE MY PEOPLE AND YOU CANNOT HARM THEM#it sticks with me because the transformation of “negative” emotion into a force that creates and grows and thrives and protects#sure. tumblr is mental illness dot com. but the ones who have lived this long? they turn it into recovery and thrive dot com#tumblr is the hellsite and this volcanic soil is fertile. we grow life out of these ashes.#the ones who haven't killed themselves or been killed are the ones who know what it means to survive.#the ones who found the way out. the ones who are willing to fight to wake up happy. to defend what they know it's precious#I learned that loving people can be a selfish thing#if friendship makes me happy then should I not make friends? if being kind makes me happy should I not then be kind?#I hug a crying person because I care about them but also because it makes me feel better to care.#I feel happy when I am protecting other people. when I am caring for someone.#I feel fulfilled when I drive to a friend's house and get them away from their abusive family for even just one night.#I care about others but I also care about myself. christianity told me to sacrifice myself. to burn myself on a pyre of divinity#tumblr dot edu told me “love yourself or die trying”#I wish I had periods so I could paint with my own blood without having to cut myself open.#I genuinely wanna learn how to draw blood so I can paint with my own blood without resorting to knives#poetry feels so much more meaningful when it's crafted from my own flesh#a thousand words written in meat and bone can never say what my actions will.#I try to describe in a chorus of screams and cries what I can express with a single squeeze of my fingers against your palm#I reach out to hold your hands as you cry and a new wing appears in the Library of Babylon.#you laugh and kiss me gently and bookshelves spring into being to describe the electricity that passes from your heart to mine#I want to love as relentlessly as the ocean. others can be soft like a river. I can only beat like a storm against your windows#how can I discover this ache in my heart? how can I pluck it out and tie it to these pages that I might not feel it throb in my chest
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sharlsworld · 10 months ago
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lando smau where theyre lowkey but he’ll find a way to slip small crumbs of her in every post somehow
⋆⭒˚.⋆ private not secret - ʟɴ4 ☆
✿ lando norris x reader
✿ a few of the times lando norris managed to sneak his girlfriend into his posts and the time he won his first formula 1 race
ᵃᵘᵗʰᵒʳˢ ⁿᵒᵗᵉ ୨୧ my brain is fried so i’m sorry if this isn’t what you wanted 💀
🝮
landonorris
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liked by pierregasly and 752,014 others
landonorris see you next time china 🇨🇳
hearts4lando bro thought he could slip a flick of y/n and we wouldn’t say anything
carlando everyone say thank you for the crumbs
⤷ danielricciardo Thank you king! 🤴
alexandrasaintmleux Missing my girl 😞 bring her back to me
⤷ landonorris how about no 😊
⤷ landonorris i’m coming baby - alex’s girl
⤷ alexandrasaintmleux I’ll be waiting 😉
⤷ charles_leclerc So I guess I’m stuck third wheeling my girlfriend and my girlfriend’s girlfriend when I come back
⤷ landonorris always 😇 - alex’s girl
landolovesyn i love y/n so much 🥹
georgerussell63 Y/n is my idol I wanna be like her when I grow up
⤷ landonorris your 5 years older then her??
⤷ georgerussell63 Well then I wanna be like her in my next life damn.
⤷ landonorris you are my hero george russell you’re such a icon - alex’s girl
⤷ charles_leclerc Oh we’re still doing this?
⤷ landonorris we never stopped?? 🤣 - alex’s girl
beloved.hamilton no it’s the fact y/n has her own account but always takes lando’s phone and replies on his account 💖💓💝
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landonorris
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landonorris WWE FUCKIJG DID IT. P1 🏆
yn so proud of you 💗
⤷ landonorris i couldn’t have done without you and all you do for me baby ❤️
oscarpiastri Well done man 👏👏👏
georgerussell63 Congrats mate!!
lando_luvr4 him running to y/n before anyone else got me in tears 🥹🥹
maxverstappen1 🥳🥳🥳
carlossainz55 Well deserved ❤️
mclaren We made it boys! 🧡👏🏆
chilipowder55 i took a nap and got woken up to be told LANDO WON HIS FIRST EVER F1 RACE???
maxfewtrell So proud brother 🧡
landowantsrizz ok but what does WWE have to do with this?
landolovesyn YOU DID IT LANDO IM CRYING HAPPY TEARS RN
all4lando i already know what him and y/n are doing tonight 😭
lnfour LFGGGGGG
estiebestie everyone shut up i’m so happy right now
charles_leclerc Lando we can be world champion!
team_quadrant *SCREAMING*
🝮
landonorris
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landonorris a night of celebration 🥳
charles_leclerc “alex wants to know the next time her and y/n can have a sleepover”
⤷ landonorris it’s like we’re just their side hoes or something 😞
⤷ alexandrasaintmleux Or something? you are - alex’s girl
⤷ landonorris babe come back i miss you where did you two go
⤷ alexandrasaintmleux You’ll never find us
⤷ charles_leclerc They just took the bowl of pasta and ran 💔
pierregasly the clam before the storm
maxfewtrell Come back soon I miss you 😘
sharls_lerklerk y/n and alex stealing the pasta and hiding with each other 😭
alex_albon it was amazing seeing lando going feral when y/n wouldn’t come out of hiding 😭
⤷ carlossainz55 Truly a sight for sore eyes
georgerussell63 I wish someone was as down bad for me as lando is for y/n
⤷ carmenmmundt Girl. Don’t even.
danielricciardo Crazy crazy night 😂
⤷ flowers444yn i need to know what happen now
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landonorris
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liked by judebellingham and 1,082,439 others
landonorris feels good to be back 🤍
landolovesyn y/n appearance!! 🥰
landonowins i’m only here for y/n tbh
⤷ lilymhe me 2
⤷ francisca.cgomes me 3
⤷ alexandrasaintmleux Me 4
⤷ carmenmmundt Me 5
⤷ lilyzneimer Me 6
⤷ landonorizz everyone loves y/n
carlando lando nowins & lando norizz are retired. lando norris has won in life.
carlito55sainz if you look very closely you can see me jumping off the balcony 😂😂
operationsainz55 this love is the typa love you find in movies & books
lewistearmeup the dark aesthetic then the light pictures of y/n 😭🥹🥰💘💖💗
lovely_leclerc my heart can’t take all this love and cuteness anymore stop
ynstan4lyfe awhh so cute i’m sleeping on the highway tonight 🥰🥰
🝮
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earthchica · 4 months ago
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Funny How Time Flies
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terry richmond x black, fem!/plus size reader
summary: you are a shy, introverted person who wants to break out of your shell and experience fun at least once in your life. During a mutual friend's group trip, you meet Terry and have the best sex with him. Once the fun is over, will you and Terry stay in touch?
warnings: explicit smut (18+), light use of daddy, foul language, dirty talking, dom/sub, oral (f), pussy slaps, fingering, unprotected sex, nicknames (beautiful, baby, baby girl), words: (3k)
note: hey, I'm working on another mini-series, but this one is sweet, wholesome, and freaky! let me know your thoughts and if you want to be tagged in future parts. please enjoy!
series masterlist
You’ve been shy and introverted your entire life, often feeling tired of this loneliness. Your daily routine typically consists of working, exercising, and returning home, which leaves little opportunity for social interaction or adventure.
While you go out when you want to, most of your time is spent at home with your loving dog. Despite that, you know something is missing—particularly, a boyfriend and a more vibrant social life.
The anxiety stemming from your shyness made it difficult for you to step outside your comfort zone. You want to seek more experiences beyond the walls of your home and be more outgoing.
When your friends Sasha and Maya invited you on a group trip, you accepted. They were surprised but happy and reassured you that you wouldn’t feel left out or awkward during the trip.
Sasha, in particular, couldn’t contain her excitement, as explained by her boyfriend, Bryce. He was bringing his old marine friend, Terry Richmond.
You met the girls at the airport and greeted them with hugs. Sasha explained that Bryce and Cameron needed to find Terry, which made you feel nervous. She told you a little about him, but ultimately, you would have to form your own opinion about him.
"Oh, here they come! Finally,” Sasha replied, gesturing towards three tall, fit men in the distance.
Bryce was a tall, dark-skinned man, while Cam was kind of brown-skinned since he was lighter than Bryce. Then your eyes led to him. Who must be Terry?
At that moment, you felt an undeniable spark of love at first sight. Terry was slightly taller than Bryce and Cam and had a lighter skin tone.
He was so handsome, with good hands, good lips, and, good god, a nice body!!! He was fine, and you wanna intertwine him.
"Good, made it back on time and found big dawg," Bryce nudged Terry on the arm, laughed, and then moved over to Sasha.
"Yeah, bro was at the wrong damn gate/terminal," Cam said, walking over to Maya and greeted her with a kiss on the forehead.
"My fault; it's been a minute since I've been at the damn airport; y'all know I don't travel a lot," Terry chuckled lightly as he caught you staring, prompting you to look away.
"Well, we're glad you found him. Now...um, Terry, I want you to meet someone," Maya said with a smile.
He raised his eyebrows curiously and she motioned towards you and introduced you to Terry by using your name.
“Hey, there!” He said, giving a polite wave, and you just stared at him. Everyone looked at you, awaiting your response, but nothing came out until Sasha nudged you.
“Hi,” you said, waving back with a small mile. You held his gaze for a moment, feeling a flutter of nerves in your stomach, before shyly turning your eyes away.
The flight to Cancun, Mexico, is currently boarding for its scheduled departure at 1 PM. Passengers are advised to have their boarding passes and identification ready and to proceed to the gate promptly.
"Okay, that's us. Who's ready to get Lit?" Maya clapped her hands, easing the awkwardness and creating a more hype vibe.
Sasha wrapped her arm around your shoulders playfully, giving you a knowing look through her sunglasses.
"Look at you, drooling all over Terry already; I told you he would be your type," She teased, and you playfully hit her arm.
Soon enough, you were all on the plane, and of course, you were sitting next to Terry. He was talking to you, but you felt so nervous that your responses were short.
You both had a lot in common: you were single, didn’t get out much, and were on this trip to have fun. You couldn’t believe that a handsome man like Terry wanted to talk to you despite your shyness.
Terry was eager to talk to you from the moment he first saw you. He felt a strong connection and wanted to get to know you better. He was really glad he decided to go on this trip because your sweet and shy nature made him want to break you out of your shell.
“You're kind of the shy and quiet type, huh?! I like that; some people say I'm reserved, so I guess I can relate,"
"You don't seem like it; you seem like an outgoing person." You look at him for a second. His captivating hazel-green eyes burn into yours, causing a flutter in your chest.
"Well, I sometimes can be both; I'm a little reserved when I don't know the person, but if I know you, I'm more open, I guess," Terry explained, a hint of a smirk playing on his lips.
"What makes me so different?" You asked in a playful tone, building some confidence.
Terry laughs and smirks, "I guess you're that special!"
You felt like your heart exploded the way he looked at you, obviously attracted to you. You just nodded, looking away, trying to hide your smile.
“Hey....come on, I was just getting used to hearing that pretty voice of yours,” Terry said, leaning in, and your breath hitched.
You and Terry chatted throughout the entire plane ride. Although you were still a bit shy, you found yourself being more talkative than before, which felt positive.
Perhaps Terry was just what you needed for this trip. Once your group arrived at the stunning villa, you marveled at its beautiful interior.
“Alright,” Maya announced, her enthusiasm infectious as she gathered everyone to discuss the week's activities. She carefully ensured everyone felt included and excited about them.
Maya suggested you all chill and settle into our bedrooms for the afternoon. You began rolling your heavy suitcase down the hall, its wheels clicking softly against the floor.
“Do you need a hand?” Terry asked, approaching with a friendly smile and ready to help you with your suitcase.
"Yeah, thanks." You said with a small smile, walking to your bedroom door and walking in.
"You can put it right there, " You said, pointing at the chair before you and indicating that he should place it there. Terry glanced at you curiously as if he were too nervous to ask a question.
A moment of silent communication passes between you. Terry stepped forward, closing the distance, and you felt your heart race.
You instinctively wanted to shy away, but you fought against the urge, reminding yourself to be brave.
“I hope this doesn’t sound too forward, but I would love to take you on a date tonight. I am drawn to you and want to crack your shy shell and see what’s inside. Of course, only if you want me to," He expressed with a hopeful smile.
“I would love that, Terry,” You said with a smile. Terry smiled back, gave you his number, and set the date plans.
He walked out, winking at you as he left the bedroom. You bit your lip and excitedly squealed, jumping dramatically onto the comfortable bed.
-
You told the girls about the date, and they were so excited that they went upstairs to your bedroom to help you out.
“I don’t think I can do this; it's been so long since i've been on a date, and all together, I'm shy as fuck” You said, getting your nerves up.
“Babe, it’s fine. You need this, and Terry is an amazing guy. We wouldn't have brought him on this trip if we didn't know he would be perfect for you.” Sasha says, ease your anxiety a lot more.
“Sasha is right; just have fun and let go, but not too much; you might get dicknotized,” Maya smiles playfully as she hands you a sexy yellow dress that catches the light beautifully.
"This will look amazing on you," She added, her eyes sparkling excitedly. As you slipped into the dress, your nerves faded, replaced by a sense of pride.
Maya's perfume filled the room as she sprayed on you; it had a familiar and comforting aroma.
Sasha, the fashionista, was styling your box braids and applying your makeup while you looked in the mirror.
"Remember," She said, glancing over her shoulder, "confidence is key. Just be yourself."
After saying bye to Sasha and Maya, you closed the door behind you and took a deep breath. You were walking downstairs and Terry stood there at the bottom, clearly waiting for you.
His eyes widened, taking in every detail. You couldn't help but giggle at his look of awe. He seemed captivated by your radiant beauty, his gaze lingering on your elegant curves.
“Wow, you look beautiful,” Terry said. You smiled and looked him over, noticing he was wearing a black button-up shirt and shorts.
"Thank you. Um..you look beautif-I mean handsome!" You cursed at yourself in your mind, feeling totally embarrassed, and Terry found it cute.
"Thanks! Are you ready?" Terry asked, holding his arm out with a smile and you happily accepted.
Both of you walk leisurely down the path, arm in arm while listening to the gentle sound of waves crashing against the shore accompanies you as you make your way to the charming ocean-view restaurant that overlooks the sparkling waters.
You and Terry walk inside, and the warm glow of the intimate setting welcomes you. You find a cozy table for two awaiting your arrival. Moments later, a friendly waiter approaches, ready to take your drink orders.
While waiting, Terry struck up a conversation that flowed effortlessly. His warm smile and engaging demeanor made it easy to share about yourself. With every exchanged joke and smile, you found yourself becoming more comfortable, as if he had a talent for bringing out the best in people.
His smooth charm was evident; he made you feel special and understood, gently encouraging you to step out of your shy little shell and embrace the moment because the air between you crackled with sexual tension, growing palpable by the minute.
The waiter approached your table, balancing a tray of drinks that shimmered in the dim light. He set them down before you with a polite smile. After taking your food orders, he left you both.
Terry, his eyes sparkling, leaned in closer, a playful grin spreading across his face.
“While we wait, how about we play a game of ‘Would you rather?’” Terry proposed, the excitement in his voice making the suggestion feel inviting.
"Okay," You replied, intrigued and ready to dive into the game.
“Okay, would you rather…” Terry started, propping his chin on his hand as he contemplated the question.
“Would you rather live deep in the ocean or explore the vastness of space?”
You paused for a moment, considering the options carefully. “Hmm, that’s a tough choice. But I think I would choose space,” You finally replied.
“Mmm, interesting! What makes you lean toward space?” Terry inquired, leaning forward with curiosity.
“I have always been interested in space and astronomy. If I could, I would be an astronaut, and the experience would be exciting,” You said, taking a sip of your wine.
"Wow, I would love to learn more about that, but it's your turn," Terry said, his eyes lighting up with curiosity and a warm smile spreading across his face. The "Would You Rather" game had been going for a while and had taken a slightly naughty turn.
Before long, the waiter arrives with both of your meals, setting them down on the table with a flourish. As the delightful aromas fill the air, you take a moment to appreciate the dishes before returning to Terry.
Intrigued by the connection you two are building, you changed the subject wanting to know about Terry's interests and experiences, eager to learn more about his passions.
Terry paused mid-sentence, his gaze falling on your necklace, which had come unhooked. With a gentle smile, he leaned in close and secured the clasp.
You found yourself momentarily lost in the warmth of his touch, savoring the soft caress against your dark brown skin, a delightful contrast that sent a shiver of warmth through you.
Terry pulled away, a smirk playing on his lips, and effortlessly transitioned back into talking as if nothing had happened. You couldn't help but notice his subtle game; it was working on you like a charm.
Your desire was intense, and your craving seemed to deepen with every word he spoke. You were utterly captivated, wanting him more than ever before.
After dinner, you both walk silently side by side on the beach. Your hands nearly touch until Terry grabs yours and holds it, making you smile.
You slowly look up at him, and you find that his eyes are already fixed on you.
"What?" You asked.
"Just admiring how gorgeous you are," Terry stopped you from walking by wrapping his arms around your plump waist.
You touched his chest, thinking you both would finally kiss. But Terry was teasing you again. He lifted you slightly, catching you off guard and causing you to drop your purse and heels.
“Oh my goodness, what are you doing, Terry?” You gasped, struggling to escape his firm hold on you.
“Let’s get in the water; I bet it’s cold,” He said, trying to pull you closer.
“No, Terry!” You squealed, quickly breaking free from his grasp and running away from him with your tongue sticking out.
“Hey!” he yelled, chasing after you. When he finally caught you, he wrapped his arms around your waist from behind and started tickling you.
You bounced up and down with laughter, trying to escape his grip. Just as Terry was about to say something, he accidentally tripped over something in the sand. Both of you fell together. You looked at him, and he looked at you.
You both laughed as Terry rolled off of you, pulling you onto his chest and kissing the top of your head, making your heart flutter. He eventually helped you out of the sand and retrieved your purse and heels.
Feeling a surge of confidence, you leaned in and pressed your lips against his, surprising him with the suddenness of your action. As you pulled back, a shy smile crept onto your face, and you turned your gaze to the side, feeling excitement and nervousness.
In an instant, Terry reached out, his fingers gently cupping your cheek, drawing your attention back to him. His eyes searched yours, a blend of sweetness and warmth reflected in them.
Then, without breaking his gaze, he leaned in closer, his lips brushing softly against yours as he kissed you, igniting a flutter of butterflies in your stomach.
You let out a muffled moan, feeling his hands gliding over your ass with a gentle yet teasing touch. Your breath caught in your throat, pulling away while feeling him firmly grasping it.
"Do you wanna continue this back at the villa?" Terry asked, his eyes darkened with desire as he looked down at you.
"Yes," you said, nodding firmly as you still held the gaze. Your voice remained steady, even as a whirlwind of emotions surged within you—excitement, desire, and a hint of nervousness mingled together.
-
Once stepped into the bedroom, Terry pressed you against the solid door. His lips met yours in a passionate, rough kiss, feeling an electric spark hit and made your heart race.
"I've been waiting to take this dress off you since I saw you in it," He murmured in your ear, running his hands down the bodice of your yellow dress.
"And it's just driving me wild," He whispered, which made you shiver.
"Well, take it off if you're brave enough," You spoke boldly, which made him smirk.
You gasped as he lifted you in his arms and carried you to the bed. You still couldn't get over the fact that he was so strong to pick you up, which was a turn-on for you.
He picked you down as both of you stood at the edge of the bed; he was kissing your neck, and his lips peppered on your dark-brown skin, pausing here and there to suck on the sensitive flesh.
His hand reached behind your back to find the zipper of your dress, pushing it down to your feet. You step out of it, and his hands touch your exposed breasts.
As you stood there, a wave of insecurity washed over you, causing you to shy away slightly. Just when you thought about retreating and hiding yourself, Terry stopped you. His gaze was steady and inviting, searching your eyes.
"You're beautiful, baby. Don't hide from me!" He whispers genuinely, making you feel warm inside. You kiss him as his hands grip your breasts.
You let out a soft moan, pulling away and popping his black button-up shirt open. You admired his abs and slid your fingers down his chest.
Terry shivered slightly at your touch; you had the same effect on him as he had on you. Both of you practically ripped each other's clothes. You gently laid yourself down as Terry hovered above you.
You pulled him down for another kiss as he cupped your right breast in his hand while his lips moved away from yours. His tongue dragged across the dark area of your areola.
"Such nice big tits, so good to suck," Terry growls and grabs both of your breasts with his hand, squeezing and sucking them, causing you to whimper.
"How does that feel, baby?" He asked, pulling away from sucking your nipples as his right hand traveled down to your wet folds, and circled them.
A loud moan escaped your lips, felt him push two fingers inside of you, prompting you to cover your mouth to avoid being heard by the others.
"Nah, baby girl, none of that. You have no idea how desperate I want to hear you moan for me. If you don’t let yourself make any sounds, I’ll have to find a way to draw them out."
"Yes-yes....ohhhh....It-it feels good....ahh......so good," You moaned, feeling him moved below and rested between your plump legs, glancing up at you. He spread them wide, getting a good look at your pussy.
"Mmmm, a pretty girl with a pretty pussy" He said before placing his hands on your legs and dragging his tongue between your wet folds.
"Yes....fuck....ahh fuck" You moaned, arching your back and grabbing your breasts as he repeated the action with more pressure, his tongue sliding against your bundle of nerves.
"Mmm, tastes so damn good, girl" His hands were holding your wide hips as he continued to suck and lick you dry, drawing desperate soft moans from your mouth. 
Terry buried deeper between your plump legs, which was driving you crazy. The pleasure you were feeling going through your body was so overwhelming.
"Ahh fuck, Terry fucking eat this pussy, mutherfucka" You moaned, and your fingers gently caressed his head, relishing the closeness of him.
Terry chuckles. "Mmm, there you go, keep talking nasty to me, baby. I see I'm bringing the best out of you, the freak in you," He said before resuming devouring your pussy.
Another loud moan escaped your lips as the pleasure built within you, clenching around his fingers while you felt yourself getting close.
"Are you gonna cum, beautiful?" He asked, moving up to look into your eyes and began to finger fuck you fast.
"Yes, Terry, oh shit.....fuck-fuck don't stop fuck." You cried, suddenly cumming hard, eyes rolling in the back of your head.
"Yeah, that's it, baby girl. Fucking cum for Daddy," Terry said, still fingering you and then smacking your pussy as wet gushing came out of you, causing you to cry.
"Shit, look at that, baby. And I did all that with my tongue and fingers; I can't wait to see how your pussy takes my dick" He said with a chuckle, licking his fingers, and you watched him coming down from your intense high.
You kissed him, slightly tasting yourself as he cupped your breast in his hand while your hand slid down his chest to his throbbing dick; you got a good look at it and gasped at it.
"Like what you see?" Terry whispered in your ear.
"Yes, it's so big," You moaned, moving your hand up and down his length as you kissed him again but deeply. A very deep moan came from his mouth when you got a little faster.
"Fuck, girl, I need you…" Terry said with a slight moan, which made you smile. He moved on top of you and slowly entered your folds, causing you to go bananas.
You were loving the fullness of his thickness inside of you as he began thrusting, drawing soft moans from you. Terry asked, looking down at you to see if it was good, but you nodded.
"Come on, baby. Don't get shy on me again; tell me how it feels?" He asked, his hands on your waist sliding down to grasp your wide hips, pulling you closer so he could bury himself deeper.
"Yes, Terry fuck me, fuck it feels good!" You moaned, wrapping your plump legs around his waist tighter, allowing a new, delicious angle that you both liked.
Your moans became louder and more frequent as his thrusts came faster but still as gently and passionately as ever.
"That's it, girl....let everyone know i'm fucking this pussy good, You like it, you like how I am fucking you" Terry moaned while his rhythm never stopped looking down at you with so much desire and lust;
"Oh yes, Daddy fuck me, it feels so good," You cried, looking up at him as he lifted your legs to his shoulders and pounding into you faster and harder but much more profound.
"Take that fucking dick like a good girl;" Terry growled, tightening his grip on your legs.
"....fuck are you about to cum, baby?" Terry moaned, feeling the warmth of your walls, clenched around him.
"Oh....yes, fuckfuckfuck..I'm-I'm cumming-" You moaned, digging your nails deep into his arms and scratching down.
"Fucking let it go, baby."
"AHHH!!" You screamed, coming hard again and Terry wasn't too far behind, cursing, pulling out; your legs immediately fell to his waist as his hot cum spurted all over your belly, making you slightly giggle.
"Shit," Terry cursed, lowered himself, and propped up on his left arm as his head buried in your neck.
He entirely collapsed on top of you, and you wrapped your arms around him. You slid your hand up and down his sweaty back while he gave you small, lazy kisses on your face and neck.
Terry rolls off you, and both of you calm down from your high. You bite your lip and turn to prop yourself up to look at him.
"That was—" You couldn't decide what word to use. It was beyond amazing, it was...
"Mind-blowing, yeah," He agreed, looking at you and lifting himself up to kiss you.
"Up for another round in the shower?"He asked, pulling away and caressing your hip.
"Yes!" Both of you smirked at each other and got out of bed to walk to the bathroom; Terry made you cum two more times that night.
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arlestial · 7 months ago
Text
❝lavender haze❞
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synopsis : Rin begged Ego to let you assist to one of his training games. But he wasn’t quite fond of your interactions with a certain player..
pairing : Rin Itoshi x genderneutral!reader •— Blue Lock
tw : A mix of fluff and comfort, with the slightest bit of angst (jealousy themes, possessiveness)
word count : 2700~ words
author-note : Hi !!! It's been so long, I missed writing so much... I finally passed my final exams, and I'm now in vacations; I’m going to Austria today. My blog is like- a blue lock obsession at this point lmao but ngl i like it that way. Btw, I’ve seen the movie and I'm just plain disappointed ? It was short asf, and the animation... well, we don't wanna talk about it. Reblogs and comments are highly appreciated :) sorry if it’s bad btw !! Anyway, take care of yourself ♡
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A rare, smug smile appeared on RIN ITOSHI’s lips; a smile that immediately triggered his teammates, who looked at each other, dumbfounded. They weren’t used to observe him with such an expression written on his usual stern features; as soon as he left the locker rooms, whispers emerged in the sweaty air, begging for an explanation.
"No way he did," Isagi contested with a frown and a disapproving tone, much to Bachira’s dismay.
"I’ve seen it with my eyes," The other retorqued, "Believe me. He smiled, dude. I’ve never seen him smile before."
"We’re gonna get fired from Blue Lock. I swear— he wouldn’t be happy if it wasn’t terrible. He’s a sadist."
"No worries, my dear Isagi. We’re going to elucidate this mystery together," Bachira replied with a proud smirk of his own; Isagi sighed at his friend’s antics.
"Maybe it’s personal."
"It’s never personal enough for us not to be nosy !" The dual-haired boy nearly gasped, "Our duo is unstoppable."
With more or less desire to intrude Rin’s life, Isagi joined Bachira into a rather quick — and disappointing — mission, to solve the mystery around the cold-hearted guy’s smile, a smile they had the chance to witness.
"Ah. Itoshi asked Ego to let his partner see the next training game. I didn’t know he would be this enthusiastic once Ego accepted."
Anri’s revelation should’ve been a relief for the two men — they wouldn’t be expelled of the program. Thus, Isagi had been surprised and confused when he noticed Bachira’s quiet attitude.
"Aren’t you supposed to be delighted you discovered the truth ?", The raven-haired boy asked, curious, as they walked in the corridor to join their rooms again.
"I didn’t even have time to feel the thrill of the investigation," the other whined.
"At least we know he has a partner. It’s… let’s just say it’s surprising someone like him could ever get someone."
"Someone like me ?"
The sudden third voice scared the two men off, and they jumped. Of course, it was Rin. Always there at the worst moment. Isagi gulped.
"H-Hey, I didn’t mean it like that—"
"What Isagi was trying to say, is that we’re not picturing you as the lovey-dovey type of guy, you know ? Not a good boyfriend or something."
If Isagi could facepalm right now, he would, "Thank you for your help, Bachira, it’s even worse now", he replied in a murmur.
"Who said I couldn’t be the "lovey-dovey type of guy" ?", Rin huffed in his usual cold tone, "and a good boyfriend ?"
"Everyone," the two others responded at the same time. Rin rolled his eyes in annoyance.
"So, y’all just sat down and talk about who could be a good partner or not ? That’s probably why you’re still fucking losers at soccer."
Bachira held Isagi back, amused by his eagerness to show Rin "who’s the real loser between them". Rin walked away confidently, and above all, enlivened by Ego’s answer. He would be lying if he said he wasn’t looking forward to it, the butterflies already flying eagerly in his stomach in anticipation.
RIN ITOSHI’s belly butterflies died in an instant. It wasn’t fair. At all. He had been longing for you since weeks now, months even; he negotiated with Ego for who-knows-long, trying to find a way to make you come to a training game of his — so that he wouldn’t have to search for you in a huge crowd of exasperating, futile, and bland people. And here he was, watching you from afar talking with Isagi Yoichi. He cursed under his breath. This dude had nothing to do with you. He was nothing compared to Rin; a mere guy, with limited soccer skills and knowledge and experience and — why were you talking with him anyway ? When he was right there, waiting for you. The training have haven't even started yet, and playing with Isagi left a bitter taste in his mouth. He threw a hard glare in your direction, which you immediately noticed; you waved at him with a smile, and it nearly made him melt. It would've if he wasn't this upset in the first place. Bachira called for Isagi, and the raven-haired boy returned to the field with a smile. If he could, Rin would definitely wipe the smile off this random guy's face.
RIN ITOSHI tried not to let this affect him. But the prominent and everlasting burning sensation in his chest clouded his mind, making him loose his focus each time his eyes would fall on either Isagi, or you. And god knows how much he had missed you, how he needed to touch you now, to feel your skin just against his — to kiss you endlessly, and his gaze softened by pure reflex as he noticed you were staring at him. He felt guilty, to entertain such hideous resentment towards you, while you were just there for him, as beautiful as the day he left you in your shared apartment to join Blue Lock again after his short break. Was he jealous? It couldn't be. Why would he be jealous of Isagi? He was better than him in everything. Atter 45 minutes, when they all got a short break from the match, Rin refused to say a word. He was always rather quiet - but now, it felt a bit weird. He just stared at Isagi with a cold gaze, and the other boy frowned. When they had to join the field again, Isagi stopped Rin, a hand laying on his shoulder.
"Hey, is everything okay? If it's about the score of earlier, I already said -"
"Look," Rin cut out quickly, his tone slowly shifting to an irritated one, "I don't want to hear your fucking voice."
Isagi's brows were now even more furrowed in confusion,
"What the.. I did nothing bad, dude. If you're upset, that's not my problem. Deal with your childish feelings alone, I don't know."
Childish feelings ? It was deeper than that. Much to Rin's own surprise, he grabbed Isagi's collar, dragging him closer with a menacing look. He didn't know, did he ? How much Rin loved you, how much he required your whole attention. Maybe it was childish indeed, selfish even, to desire to be your whole world. The only one you would ever think about. If he could make you his forever, he would; and at the same time, you had every right to talk to other people, be friends with anyone, you were free after all. But that wouldn’t rub out the aching feeling in his heart, seeing you smile with someone else, having a good time with someone who wasn’t him. Maybe because in the very end, he was scared of losing you. Of you, finally realizing you deserved far better than what he could give you. He was distant, sometimes. He hurt you too much, argued with you on futile things, left for Blue Lock for months, he was a huge mess, and still, you wanted him. It was a mystery for Rin, but he wouldn’t ever complain. He was too engrossed in your love and affection, and somehow, even if he knew it was fundamentally wrong, he’d never wish for you to realize what you truly deserved. Because it wasn’t him. And he couldn’t bare to see you enjoying your life with someone else other than him.
"I’m going to end your pathetic and meaningless existence so quickly you won’t have time to take another breath," Rin spat sharply, "I’ll politely advice you not to approach them ever again — don’t want your disgusting germs to infect them, understood ?"
With these words, Rin yanked him away and joined the field, leaving a widened-eyed Isagi behind him. As soon as the game ended, the whole Blue Lock team began gathering their water bottles, heading to the locker rooms. Rin stayed behind, since he wanted to spend some time with you before your departure. When you both were finally alone, you walked down the stairs, and Rin immediately engulfed you in his arms. One hand was grabbing your side, the other resting on the back of your head, pulling you close. He sighed, inhaling your familiar perfume — it was his favorite, the one he gifted you recently — and pressed a delicate kiss to the crown of your head.
"I missed you so much," He declared, or more precisely, complained, and you chuckled, embracing him just as tightly.
"And I missed you even more," you responded, loosening your embrace to look at him. He could die for this fond look in the depths of your irises. You didn’t have to ask; his hands reached for your cheeks, tilting your head backwards to kiss you gently, yet, eagerly, a pleading for your tenderness. You kissed him back, amused by his move. He was usually the reserved type, especially in public — even if the whole stadium was empty now. Your lips parted to welcome his tongue inside, deepening the kiss even more, a slow dance mimicking his need for you. He kissed your forehead softly when you two broke away from one another.
"What happened earlier ? With Isagi. I thought you were gonna fight."
The question tensed him. Of course you had to bring it up. He stroked your cheek delicately, as if you’d shatter if he wasn’t careful enough.
"Nothing, love, don’t worry. I was just—"
"He told me about it, Rin."
You cut him, and he winced. Ah. That was a problem. He swore he discerned a tint of disappointment in your eyes, but it faded away too rapidly for him to search for it again.
"I thought we said no lies between us."
"I know, darling", he could only mutter. You gently took his wrists, then his hands, intertwining your fingers together.
"Am I not reassuring you enough, Rin ? I won’t ever leave you. Especially not for a guy I just met. You know that."
"More than enough," the memory of your smile and laugh when Isagi cracked a joke made him sigh, "it’s hard to believe sometimes. That’s all."
You nodded; with his lack of self-esteem, how was he supposed to believe you, anyway ? It was a constant fight against the insecurities crawling in the pit of his soul, however, you would never let them win. He suffered enough alone, now that you were there with him, you’d be in the frontlines.
"But it’s still true. I’m lucky to have you, Rin. Maybe one day you’d finally recognize that."
At this moment, he wanted to tell you he was lucky to have you, but he didn’t dare, especially not when he saw you reaching for him again, your arms around his neck. He let himself drown in your arms and comfort, soothed by your heartbeat — at this very precise instant, he swore his heart was beating for you. And if you wanted it on a silver plate, he’d gladly do so.
"I’m sure his joke wasn’t even that funny."
You chuckled, "maybe not better than yours, I must admit."
Not far away, two boys were spying on the scene; their investigation had been more successful than what they ever hoped for, "maybe he’s not that bad, after all."
"I thought he was going to choke me to death."
"Oh, he could."
RIN ITOSHI was a possessive man. Somewhere, he wanted you to rely on him, and him only — to be the only source of your happiness. He never had something to call his; you were the first. And he fully intended you to be the last.
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