#When I tell people my biggest dream is having a small apartment and getting money from selling stuff online

[lemonynuggets]

Can i take u to england?

yeah

[salaciousdoll]

· · · ℜ · · · Hot Chubby Virgin takes 4 Big C0cks · · · ℜ · · ·

Click the Video

.·:*¨¨*:·. starring Yuushi Totsumoto, Toji fushiguro, Shouta Aizawa, Benimaru Shinmon x Fluffer!reader

Gist: You went from a fluffer to p0rn ★ in just a small amount of time, funny how life changes.

ᰔᩚ ━━ Warnings: Smut, This is a crossover so almost everyone from these anime including aot are mentioned here, Levi is 6’0 here (even though it has nothing to do with the plot), pwp( half of it is plot), reader is chubby/plus size here, body worship, reader is a virgin, blood is mentioned because Aizawa is taking your virginity, mating press, cervix kissing( please know it doesn’t feel good in real life so I heard but this is fictional so who cares), consensual, gang bang, anal play( butt plug, anal, and anal licking), bodily fluids( spitting, squirting, creaming), impact play( slapping, sucking, biting, etc.), degradation kink, random oc’s because of this industry, Toji and benimaru are some little meanies, Yuushi is the only one with a porn ★ name and it’s Yoshi, Praise kink, Oral( receiving and giving), wlw scenes( you are involved as a fluffer), gagging, creampies, breeding kink activated, the men are head over heels for you, Meryl is the news reporter from mha( for those who don’t know her), porn talks, you go from a fluffer to a porn ★, touya is needy for you( Eren and Mr.compress too), age gap, dark content themes, virginity lost, anal virginity lost, rough fucking, daddy kink but I think only mentioned one time, and finally after care.

ᰔᩚ ━━ Word Count: 19.8k

ᰔᩚ ━━ Dolly Note from Salaciousdoll: Hi, my strawberry moon-pies🍓, I’ve been missing out on making fanfics for you guys so this is me officially trying to make my way back into the writing field. So I really hope y’all enjoy this one. I felt like the smut was meh but that’s okay. Also I don’t really know how this works so if it’s inaccurate please tell me!

Working as a fluffer is a dream to some if they have a porn addiction. You, on the other hand, disliked it because you had to sit and watch as the porn actors fake moan and groan.

This was not the plan to spend your first year of college. In fact, this wasn’t your plan at all considering you have a career plan set in motion for when you got out of school. A career you study and read up on all the time. A career of your choice, which is obviously not this. In fact, very far from it but the way college books and tuition is costing, you had no choice but to call this job’s phone number when you saw it on the website pop-up ad.

Fluffers needed

Age: 21+

50/hr

Flexible schedule

Experience in using your hands

call 800-321- 7773

Such a dumb Ad, yet you still took a chance and called. Luckily, it wasn’t a scam and you met all the requirements except the hands part. You didn’t really know what a Fluffer was when you called on impulse. You just saw the rate per hour and had to get it in. As soon as the director heard how pretty your voice is, no matter if it’s deep or soft or medium tone, you were called into an interview. Weird but you still went and glad you did: money wise.

Going into that blind could be traumatizing to some, but not to you. Growing up, you were around hyper sexual people all the time so this lane wasn’t new to you, however massaging or jerking off people to get them hard and wet was new to you. You could be considered apart of the sex work industry yourself to many since you had to get women nipples to stay hard and had to oil them down as well, which includes every crevice and corner of their body.

Sex work has its high and lows and man you did not want to enjoy the lows considering the fact that it out weighs the highs. Men don’t really experience the lows like women do. For example, Midnight and Petra always face harassment online and in real life, can’t forget the biggest of the women– Princess Habana. She was a touchy one with you, but you didn’t mind especially when she asked permission first. Plus, She’s fine as hell to you. All the women in this industry were.

You always looked forward to Hange switch scenes and Mirko scenes. The women and men they pleased always come to you with their heads in the clouds. Habana “victims” always come with sweat all over them, red faced, or out of breath– hinting that they didn’t take too many cuts. Probably why she was the top pornstar here. Real and uncut is her profession. Petra was a sweetheart and that’s why she gets views, the innocence in her non-virgin eyes were a turn on for lots of perverts. The new girl was training under her by the name of Historia. You could tell she’s just like Petra in a way, perfect for this disgusting industry.

Midnight was a panty dropper and heart stopper in this industry, she sometimes helped with fluffering when you’re busy licking and playing with someone else ie. Kayoko tits. Kayoko was an older lady you admired from a distance so when she came to you after having her a personal fluffer for years, it shocked you. You weren’t the only one who was shocked, Obi, her highly requested partner for her scenes, was too.

Going back to Midnight, You thought about her protege, Mount Lady. Mount lady was someone she trained and sometimes did scenes with. You always had to sit through their bickering as you oiled them down when they had pool scenes together with or without a male co-star. They’re too much alike for them to stand being with each other without a camera in their face. Honestly, you couldn’t do it so props to them for stepping into their professional shoes when the cameras roll.

Now if you want to talk about all the big stars in this company, it’ll have to be Hibana, Kayoko, Obi, Charon, joker, Leonard burns( one of the Directors and CEO), Takehisa, Benimaru, Konro, and Vulcan. Midnight, Mt lady, Mirko, Shouta, Hizashi, Toshinori, Enji, Touya, Tomura, and Keigo. Petra, Hange, Mikasa, Eren, Jean, Erwin( Director), Levi, Nile, and Miche. Shoko, Utahime, Toji, Gojo, Geto, Choso, Naoya- though a lot of controversy cpming from his videos-, Higuruma, Shiu, and Nanami.

Those names hold weight in this industry, each having different categories they engage in.

For reference, Levi engages with gaping, flogging, and more. It was interesting figuring these out as you watched the scenes. You had to give Hizashi credit for informing you in one ear and Gojo credit for talking in your other ear as you sat in the background in your own designed chair with your name on it. You were in the middle of them as they kept speaking on and on while trying to throw in a few jokes here and there, had to do it in whispers otherwise Levi is going to call cut and everybody knows what comes next.

You watched as Erwin stared intensely at the scene with his steel blue eyes. Honestly, the man scared you the first time you saw him. Luckily his soothing, deep voice scratched the fear out of your mind. Bringing yourself back to reality, you saw the Lovey, the woman he was fucking mouth opened in a real O which means he was actually making her feel good. Anal looked painful but as long as it showed him gaping her hole she didn't care. I mean, she’s been wanting this since shaking hands with Levi. You could see it in her green eyes. A ginger with a big ass and pretty green eyes, what a star in the making.

Eyes like diamonds as they looked into the camera pointed in front of them. Levi groans and gruff moans were heard as he fucked her open some more as she was on all fours with her chest to the floor and her ass up, giving the viewers and directors exactly what they want. The 6’ feet man didn’t care about anything at the moment and you could tell. Reading body language was fun because you could see he was really enjoying her pretty, freckled ass— the ass grabs let you know too. The carpet was turning her knees red and she didn’t even care.

“ Fuck, Levi! Aahnnn~”, Lovey moans as mascara begins pouring down her face and lips bruised from her sucking his cock earlier.

“ Shit, m’gonna. Holy fuck!”, Levi moans before he cums deep inside of her ass with two deep thrust.

“ Cut! Lovey, Levi, are you two alright to do another shoot on the bed?”, Erwin asked with his deep baritone voice.

Levi huffed out and pulled out his now deflated cock, “ whatever you say Erwin. Just bring me {reader}. Good job, new girl. Just be more loud with the moans in order to sell it even more.” He helped her shaking body up to the bed and caught the towel Obi threw as he walked past to go do his scene with his favorite, Valentine. A red haired woman with pink highlights in her hair hence the name. She was a beauty, brown skin, nice smile, tits, and legs. All around perfect to a lot of men and women. She was a sweetheart to you and you could tell she loved it when she did scenes with him or Takehisa or Nanami. Girl got a specific type, you could almost put your finger on it.

“ {reader’s last name}! You’re up! Levi needs you, he’s in his room.”, Leonardo says as he takes the position Erwin was just in. Erwin must have had to eat his lunch or something. That’s the only time this happens.

You hurried up and got up, sitting your clipboard in your chair and heading to the room with his last name on it: L. Ackerman ✩

You walked in to see him talking on the phone with someone, probably his wife. You didn’t know. You just knew you had to do what they hired you to do.

You grabbed his soft cock in your hand and started stroking him up and down in slow circles just like he liked it.

Levi groaned as his head flew back in pure satisfaction , “ A-alright, I’ll see you tonight. I should be done after two more scenes and then I’m all yours.”

You knew how skilled your hand has gotten overtime while working here, so this was nothing to you and him. He was used to you and didnt want any other Fluffer helping him.

You were so much into your head that you didn’t even notice that he hung up the phone and threw it down on the bed before lifting up to look down at you in between his legs stroking him up and down. Levi wanted to smile at you but his face wouldn’t let him. He wanted you in these scenes, fuck it, he wanted you in every last one of his scenes yet they wouldn’t let him pick you no matter how much he vouched for you since they didn’t have a lot of women in the industry like that. Rare that this company doesn't but that’s not important right now. What’s important is that you’re in between his legs right now.

Levi placed a hand on your chubby cheek, “ And you wonder why I request you out of all fluffers to help me, it’s because you’re so goddamn good at this. So, thank you, {reader’s name}. You’re good to go now. I think it's hard enough to get back on the scene.”

You smiled at him and nodded your head, getting up to open the door before hearing him call your last name, “ They are going to have plans for you. Sooner than later.

You looked back at him, “ Sounds like the infamous Levi Ackerman is worried about me. I’m flattered. I think I’ll be fine and plus it’s not in my contract to have scenes so I’m sure whatever they have planned is probably something to do with Fluffering.” With that being said, you left his room and walked to the bathroom to wash your hands.

Leaving back out the bathroom, you bumped into a figure. Luckily, you didn’t fall like cliche movies instead you were pulled in when the figure saw you stumble. Pulled in by the waist by strong arms, 17 year old you was screaming right now.

“ Sorry, didn’t pay attention to where I was walking. My apologies, baby doll.”, A deep but melodic voice says while you open your eyes again to meet silver-green eyes.

His creamy, buff arms felt so good around your voluptuous body. He confidently held his arms around you while looking for your eyes to meet his eyes again after hurriedly wandering them around in what seems to be a small panic to him.

His chuckles were vibrating his chest— shaking under the touch of your finger tips. You hurried to take your hands from his chest and backed up rapidly so you wouldn’t offend him.

“ No need to do that, doll. Can I ask you a question?”, Toji asked with a small smirk on his face.

You gulped and looked at him, “ um, I really have to g—”

“ So we’re not gonna talk about what happened two weeks ago? You’ve been timid with me ever since. I’m a grown man, {reader}. Just let me know how you feel, nothing will go wrong, I promise.”, Toji said as he took a step forward. You surprised him by not backing up to let him cage you in just like he did last time which caused him to get a kiss on the lips from you.

Lips as soft as chewy butterscotch candy. He wanted more of you. He had to get more of you, eventually. Sadly, he knew he wasn’t the only man who had their eyes on you. He knew Yuushi and Shouta did too.

Those two were annoying to him. He felt like you didn’t even like speaking with them or even helping them, so why do they keep eyeing you whenever you walk past. Toji heard that someone else accidentally moaned your name as he fucked a girl similar to you. Apparently, the guy was on par with him. The guy was stacked it seems. Benimaru was the only one he can think of that’s on par with him.

Popularity was going through the roof with a lot of employees here but there seems to be two main people in the categories of threesomes, orgies, Gang bangs, and etc. Which is himself and Yuushi.

The guy was a loner for the most part and stays in his own room unless they come and tell him he has a scene. He never cared about being in the spotlight, he just wanted to pleasure women. Pleasuring women has been his thing ever since his ex-girlfriend. The woman who introduced him to this industry, just to die and leave him all alone.

Now Benimaru was another but similar story. The guy was a loner off set but when he’s in front of the camera, he turns into a completely different person. Almost like he has a second persona when that’s not even the case. He just knows how and what to do without listening to people. You admired the way he did stuff at his own pace and that’s what Toji didn’t know. He didn’t know that you watched him and Yuushi, often comparing them to Shouta and Benimaru. They all had something similar that attracts you. You couldn’t put a finger on it.

“ Toji, it was one kiss. I’m sure you kissed a lot of other women in this industry. Now excuse me I have to go on the other side of this big ass studio for Touya ass. See ya later and don’t purposely cum inside of whoever you fucking just to see me again. It’s annoying catering to you five times a damn day.”, you said as you walked around him. You were on your way down to Touya when you heard your name being called by Shouta.

You walked to him as he sat on the couch chair holding a bottle of oil. “ You know what to do, { reader’s last name}.” You rolled your eyes and let out a small smile across your lips, “ I keep telling you, Shouta. You don’t have to call me by my last name anymore. I’ve been at this company for almost a year now.”

Shouta looked into your eyes with his black tired eyes, “ I respect you, {reader’s last name}. I don’t want to find myself crossing the line of unprofessionalism.”

Your lip stretched and your teeth showed as you felt your head tilt back following a loud laugh afterwards. You pulled it together after a few seconds, “ Please unprofessionalism my ass, you have a lot of nerve Mr. Aizawa.”

“ Thought you said we weren’t supposed to bring that up, look who’s bringing it up now.”, Shouta says in a low voice making the deep tone drop lower causing your vagina to tingle.

“ You know what, let’s just get this over with shall we?”, You asked as you opened the bottle to put the oil on your hand. “ You’re not going to stand for me so I could put this o-”

“ No, I want to rest my feet plus I’m sure whoever you were heading to is going to wait for you regardless. After all, you’re the famous Fluffer around here.”, Shouta says as he leaned back in the recliner couch chair.

You huffed and got closer to him to place your hands on his chest, trailing your hands further down his torso, you felt all his abs and was in love with this job all over again. Only this part you were in love with. His robe was blocking your way of seeing all of him, but you had a feeling he did that on purpose, especially with the way he was watching you.

Aizawa bit his lip at the feeling of your cold hands laced in baby oil gliding down his torso ultimately massaging him on the way down. He didn’t really need your help with this considering he’s a vet in this industry so he would know how to oil himself down, but he wanted to feel your chubby fingers massaging him instead.

Aizawa eyed your boobs protruding out of the strapless pink corset-shirt you wore, he then trailed his eyes to your belly which turned him on even more. He liked that you were careless of everyone’s opinions on bigger people wearing clothes like you wore. He could always hear some newbies talking about you and what you wear. He loved and hated how jealous and hateful they sound because he knew it never gets to you. You oozed confidence and that’s what made him completely turn his attention to you and only you.

He then eyed the light jeans you wore and wanted to rip them off. He thought about things he wanted to do to you until he felt your hands on his thighs causing him to let out a short moan. Your hands were so close to his erection and you were so damn professional about it. Now who’s actually crossing that line.

Keeping a straight face was a part of your job and Shouta was making it hard for you. You so badly wanted to laugh at his erection poking your hand as you oiled him up around that area. Laugh in response of being turned on or embarrassment, you weren’t sure.

Soon you made it to his legs and feet, stopping to put more oil on your hands before rubbing more oil on his body. After a minute, you were done and he stood up causing you to be at eye level of his erection, luckily his robe was in the way or else your eye could’ve been poked.

You looked up at him with your pretty eyes. He loved to see every day he came into this forbidden place. He wanted to see you on your knees like this for him everyday. He was about to lean his head back once he felt your breath blowing on his cock causing it to move up and down in excitement.

“ Fuck, {reader’s first name}.”, Aizawa moaned as his damp hair covered his eyes. His hand came up to his mouth in disbelief of what you were about to do until he felt you get snatched away.

“ Hey dickface, she isn’t on your time now. She’s on mine cause I asked for her. And you, when I ask for you I expect you to be there, not on your way to becoming a pornstar for this old dirtbag. Real low, even for you.”, Touya says as his tattooed arm was placed around your neck dragging you with him.

Aizawa let out a huff and groaned into his hand, “ she almo—”

“ Got you too. Surprised at you, Aizawa. Didn’t think you’d fall for it.”, Toji says as he leaned against the wall.

“ How long have you been there, you do realize creeping on people is illegal.”, Aizawa said.

Toji chuckled and turned to walk out but stopping again to speak, “ We’re in a business like this. Please save the holy and thou talk for someone who cares. Now, You do know she looks at both of us right?”

“ What the hell is that supposed to mean? We’re the top pornstars in this business. Of course, she’ll look at us. We’re not speci—”, Aizawa says, rubbing more oil on his arms, finally getting rid of that robe.

“ Speak for yourself, Aizawa. Maybe a man of a few words, but I could still observe and see that she’s eyeing us longer than the rest.”, Yuushi said as he walked up.

They all were so used to seeing each other naked that Aizawa being naked or Yuushi being half naked wasn’t a thing to shy away from in disgust. “ So she stares at us longer, now what?”

Aizawa was tired of them already and they just showed up. These two were just as much as Gojo and Yamada. In fact, everyone was annoying except you in his books.

“ Now we wait and see if the opportunity will come to us. I’m sure it will, considering the actor we were all supposed to do scenes with might not make it because of a plane delay , but again, we will see.”, Benimaru says as he walks past the door the two buff men were standing at.

He stopped to look at all three of them, “ Look, she’s the star Fluffer around here and we all have some sort of relationship with her but let me be clear right here and now. I don’t want to do this scene with either of you. I would rather work alone but since a huge amount of money is involved, I have no choice. As for the pretty one, she’ll be with me in no time, on and off set, doesn’t really matter..” With that he walked off leaving the other three to dwindle on his words.

“ I can't stand that guy.”, Yuushi said as he walked away.

“ That’s all? He’s a funny one. Well, I’ll see you later Aizawa.”, Toji said as he hit his door threshold as he left. Aizawa kept replaying the scene of you on your knees blowing on his dick over and over again. He needed you quickly.

Meanwhile, you were now swirling your hips on Touya’s cock causing him to whimper and moan out your name, “ mmm shit, just like that.” You chuckled prior to swirling your tongue on his nipples and playing with the other one with your index finger.

You unlatched your mouth from his nipple— the saliva creating a skinny, long string, “ That’s enough, pretty boy. Can’t have you cumming before the scene.” Touya groaned and rolled over on his side once you got up off of him, “ Really. You’re such a tease, see why my brother spoke about you.”

“ Natsuo talks about me? I thought that he didn’t like anything I did because he’ll say he got it from here.”, Your imitation of his voice caused Touya to chuckle. Touya came up to you with his hard on cock in his hand, “ Oh that just means his ass didn’t want to be embarrassed in front of little ol’ {reader}. Meaning you did great, doll.”

Touya kissed you on the cheek and walked out the door to finish his scenes for the day. You huffed and fixed yourself. Honestly, you needed a break and that’s exactly what you are going to take. A lunch break.

Your heels clicked against the tiled floor as you walked past the loud moans and groans of women and men in different rooms. Door open or closed. You heard one girl moaning Mirko’s and Hange’s name. Oh how you wanted to be her in there. You were about to make your way out the door when Erwin called your name making you stop where you were. “ Are you on your way out for lunch, {reader’s name}? If so, take my card, it’s the least I could do for causing you to stay longer than expected last Thursday.”

You were about to decline when he gave you the look you hated from him. His blue eyes were drilled on you and you hated it. So, you walked to him to see him standing a few feet behind Leonardo as they both watched the scene of Aizawa and Shoko both fucking Emi. Aizawa was fucking her mouth while Shoko was slapping her tits and digging inside of her pussy with her strap-on. Her gags were so pretty and sensual. No wonder she’s been getting requested more, that’s what you heard from the grapevines: Suguru Geto.

You eyed the way Aizawa was fucking Emii’s mouth so rough and sexy. The spit dripping down her mouth was everything you wanted. You needed him and soon his eyes met yours for a split second which turned into a minute.

“ Alright cut!, Aizawa what’s the deal? Why are you not focused?”, Leonardo said in a gruff voice. You didn’t stay for his response since he only took his eyes off you when Leonardo finished asking the question. It was like you were stuck under his gaze and you didn’t like it -you loved it-.

You walked out the door to get lunch with Erwin’s black card. You were about to walk to your car when your phone rang. You hurried to dig into your bag to pull it out and put it on speaker, “ what your bitch ass want?”

Your brother's chuckles were dancing to your ears, “ Shut up bitch, mom wants you at dinner tomorrow, she is still trying to set you up with that man. We both know he wants my ass. I don't know why she ignores the obvious signs.”

You got into your car and your phone automatically connected with the Bluetooth hooked to your radio, “ I don’t know either. He stares at you most of the time and I know your thirsty ass got his number.”

“ Ah ah, your ass gave me his number so don’t play. Anyways, she just wants her grandbabies since I can’t give it to her since I’m Pansexual, which in her damn eyes it’s the end of her trying to push grandbabies agenda on me, and sis can’t give it to her since she’s, ya know.. So, like always, you're her last hope.”, Your brother says with a yawn following.

You were about to pull off until a knock was heard on the passenger side of your window causing you to jump. The person let out a deep chuckle, “ Mind if we catch a ride with you, starving over here.”

“ Jin! Reiner! Of course. Hop in. Due note I’m going to chipotle but I think there’s more food spots in that little mall.”, You say as you unlock the doors to your car letting them get in. “ Hey bro, I’m gonna call you later, see you at dinner tomorrow.”

“ Make sure you ask one of them t-” click, you hurried to end the call on him because he was about to say something outrageous. Both blondes had their eyebrows lifted up and you nervously laughed it off.

“ brothers am I right? Haha.”, you said as you pulled off to your destination.

“ What exactly was he about to say? He must be a little shit.”, Jin says to which you nod in agreement.

“ Hey but only I get to call him that.”, You joked while pushing his shoulder. Jin laughed and held up his hands, “ My bad, sweetness. By the way, Atushiro has been annoying dabi and shigaraki ever since he found out they hog you. They say he’s getting more annoying than the Eren guy.”

“ Eren’s been annoying them of all people, why? Why won’t Atsuhiro come find me himself?”, You asked as you turned a corner.

Reiner sighed, “ Because he feels the same way that Sako feels, it’s weird. What hold do you have over these people? Rhetorical by the way.”

You shrugged anyway, “ those two really don’t hog me the way you all think they do.” Both Jin and Reiner looked at you with the same face making you laugh, “ Okay maybe they do.”

You continued driving and laughing, “ Besides, don’t act like you two don’t be needy as well.”

Reiner sat up between you two, “ Don’t hold that against us, {reader}. You’ve gotten way too good with only a year in this company, why wouldn’t we be needy.” You coughed and looked away from his gold eyes and turned to face the now green light.

“ Let’s just get this food and go back because I think I wasted 10 minutes already.”, You say, getting flustered. Reiner smirked a bit and leaned back with his legs cocked wide open. Jin laughed and poked fun at you on your way to Chipotle.

Once you got there, you ordered what you wanted and once you all ordered, you all stood on the side and waited until you got your food.

“ Oh my God, Jin and Reinerrr! My favorites.”, A woman with a group of girls says, coming up to them with a huge smile on their face. You stepped out of the way and let them sign her tits. She must watch a lot of their porn to want their names on her toys in permanent marker.

You laughed at Jin's face. He looked like he was shy and it was funny watching the sweat roll down his face. You were about to say something smart until they called your name letting you know your food is ready. Reiner and Jim both grabbed your hand, not before bidding the women farewells. You let them hold your hand as you three made your way to pick up the food, Reiner offered to pay so this was a freebie for you. Jin grabbed the bag and you three went to the car to go back to work.

“ That was something. This is why you have to wear glasses in public. I thought y’all knew that.”, You say, having a point.

Jin huffed, “ Don’t be a smart ass, we forgot. Well, I did. Can’t speak for himbo boy here.” He was drinking his soda he got from the machine after asking for a cup for water. Just lying and thieving.

“ Himbo?! Yeah no. I didn’t forget just didn’t know people would recognize me in chipotle of all places. Most people don’t approach male pornstars like this so it was surprising.”, Reiner said, eating his chips.

“ Logical but still not good enough since you’re a part of the biggest company with multiple pornstars in the top 20. You’re number 15 Reiner, be serious here.”, You said while Jin laughed at Reiner’s face.

The ride back to your job was smooth and funny. Reiner was talking about how beautiful one of the women that stopped him and Jin was and how he should’ve gotten her number. Jin was calling him a pussy and making fun of him for being a “ pussy”.

You three walked into the building and they both kissed your cheek before walking off. You suddenly got pulled by your arm and dragged over to Utahime by MeiMei.

“ Get her off with your touchy magic. I’m staying and watching.”, Mei Mei said to which you shook your head.

“ Uhnt uh. You’re not watching, you perv and I’m on my lunch break so give me ten minutes Utahime and I’ll be right with you. How long before you do the scene with this freak behind me?”, You ask as you smack Mei Mei hand, that stretches out to touch your waist, away from you.

You heard her laugh like it was funny and then smiled at Utahime. She looked up at you since she was sitting on the bed with her arms behind her, “ That’s totally fine, no rush, pretty. Just need you to have something in your stomach before you assist me. Do not want you to starve when you’re helping me.”

You smiled and nodded your head before turning to walk out the door at the same time Mt lady was coming inside the room. You two almost bumped into each other, luckily you didn’t. You smiled at her and waited for her to pass you. As you were finally walking out the door, Mt lady grabbed your hand and smiled at you, “ You coming back? I really hope so, I need you to prep me for my scene.” You nodded your head and walked out to find a quiet place where you could eat your food in peace and you knew the perfect place.

Your storage room. You called it yours because you have yet to find someone else occupying it when you go in there. Hopefully, it’ll continue like that. You opened the door and cursed yourself for speaking too soon, you saw a man’s silhouette and was about to turn around until the lights turned on revealing Benimaru, the vet in this business, started when he was freshly 20 and now he’s 32 years old. That’s what you read up online after curiously searching for him since you were beginning to be infatuated with him.

He was sitting there eating his food, now staring at you as he chewed his food. The not blinking should’ve been concerning to you, but that just made the room more hotter or was it him. You had a great feeling it was his gaze. Red heterochromia eyes, one red and the other one red with streaks of white. You wondered if he got his eyes from his mom or dad.

“ You’re gonna sit down or not?”, Benimaru said as he pointed at the seat beside him. You sighed and just when you were about to sit down, he slid the chair next to him. Closer. You were surprised and he could see it in your face, you were surprised and he was pleased by your small reaction on your face.

You two ate in silence, chewing were the only sounds you two could hear. You cleared your throat and opened your mouth to speak when he suddenly interrupted you, “ How do you like this job so far? Never got to ask you earlier than now.”

He chomps on the rice ball he got from the market as you put your palm on your face, “ It’s…” Benimaru stared at you as he stopped eating as if that helps with hearing you better. “ It’s… okay. Pay is good, it’s still a new transition for me since I never thought to be in this field of work. It’s still different but interesting.” You looked at Benimaru and instantly locked eyes with him, you started to play with your bangles and bracelets on your wrist to distract yourself from emitting heat from your cheek.

“ What about you? Do you like your line of work? You seem to become another person when the director yells action.”, You said while putting rice in your mouth.

Benimaru stared at you for a second, admiring the way your cheeks grew bigger as you ate your food. He couldn’t wait to bite them as he split you open. He cleared his throat and sat up, “ I used to love this job up until my third year doing this. I actually wanted to quit, believe it or not. Don’t really care… It was Konro who managed to convince me to stay in this field. Only a year ago, I started to love this complicated job.”

“ Why a year ag—”, you asked before he interrupted you.

“ You really wanna know? Don’t see why you would want to know, but I’ll tell you anyway. It’s because I met someone who piqued my interest in this forbidden career.”, Beni says as he bites into his food again.

You raised an eyebrow and opened your mouth to say something when someone opened the door, another worker with his loud walkie talkie, “ You’re on Benimaru in 45 minutes, make sure your muscles are massaged properly for this scene. Oh hey, {reader}!”

You waved as Benimaru got up with a sigh. He looked down at the one rice ball he had left and placed it on the side of your chipotle bowl, “ Here, take it and try it.” You were surprised because he never shared his food with you like that. You stared up at him from where you were sitting and smiled at him whispering a thank you. He nodded at you and walked away from you. You didn’t see the softness in his eyes when he looked back at you on his way out the door because you were looking at your phone— still eating from that bowl.

“ It was nice.”, Benimaru whispered as he made his way to his scene. He thought it was nice to speak to you. He wanted to hear your voice more but duty calls first, at least for right now. He also would've gotten a massage from you, but he knew you were on break so he whistled at another Fluffer and they followed behind him.

You, on the other hand, was now chewing the rice ball and almost moaned at how good and different it was to you. You suddenly got a text from Yuushi asking for you. You smiled at his pleas and eagerness for you to be his Fluffer instead of Arima, who was the best Fluffer before you got there. You never understood why they want to keep you on your toes but whatever. You’re just glad that you actually managed to finish your food today without being dragged by Eren, Jean, Tenko, Or Vulcan. Very refreshing.

You got up to throw your food away and went to the nearest bathroom to wash your hands. When you were done, you grabbed a paper towel and dried them off prior to throwing it in the garbage and leaving the bathroom. You made your way to Mt. Lady and Utahime first before you got to Yuushi— passing by multiple open scenes with pornstars fucking other pornstars. Beds banging against the wall, tables scratching across the floor, and most of all, the moans and groans complementing those movements. This was your life. The life you chose to live.

You had to get yourself off in the bathroom plenty of times, like the time Miche and Higuruma was fucking Ms.Midnight. Both pounding into her holes like they were on a mission to see who’s better and faster. You remember crossing your legs as you stood in the back watching the scene. Her moans were only adding on to your horniness. The most seductive and pretty moans you ever heard and they seemed so real. Their gruff moans and groans were loud as well. What you didn’t notice is Toji smirking at you during that time since he was on his break and decided to stop by here to see what’s all the commotion here. He knew you were horny, your thighs were the dead giveaway.

So now going into the room where only Utahime and Mt Lady were at, you witnessed them two making out and you so badly wanted to join especially the way Mt.Lady was fondling Utahime’s breast with one hand and the other hand was making their way up to her onyx hair—yanking her head back to trail her lips over her throat. This was very intimate for the scene to not start yet. You cleared your throat loudly and they broke away from each other but not before Mt. Lady sucked on Utahime’s neck one last time.

You laughed at Utahime’s ditzy expression, “ Damn, you two have some good ass chemistry. So sorry for interrupting, but I have to help you two fast because Yuushi requested for me and you know how much of an nonchalant ass he could be to other people when he doesn’t get his way with me.” They both nodded, both being on the other end receiving his nonchalant asshole ways because you didn’t turn up for work that one time.

“ Well we already prepped each other here so you can make sure we’re wet enough , here.”, Mt lady says as she lifts up her skirt showing her tanned pretty pussy. You smirked at her knowing she doesn't really need help to figure out if she’s wet enough or not. She just wants your lips on her. “ You sure you want me to because I just got done eating and— fuck it. Lay down.”

She gladly laid down for you and spread her long legs for you, you got between her as Utahime watched closely while having her legs cocked open as her Dainty fingers played with her pussy. She always wanted you like Mt Lady had you right now. On your knees with your eyes on her while you eat her out and she would gladly do the same thing to you with no problem. In fact, she would gladly die in between your thighs if she could.

You blew on her pussy as your eyes locked with hers. You smirked before licking a stripe of her pussy making her breath hitch. You’ve become a master of licking pussy due to licking theirs in order to get them wet enough for their scenes. Your mouth closed around her clit, sucking it into your mouth softly making her legs shake a little. She let out a throaty whimper, lifting her hips up and down to get you to lick her the way she wanted and needed.

You kissed her clit after popping it out your mouth, hearing Utahime’s moans as you heard the squelches of her wet pussy being fingered fucked by her own fingers. Mt Lady’s head flew back when you flicked your tongue rapidly over her clit while pushing one finger into her pussy— feeling her juices drip on your finger. You knew she was wet enough, both of them really, but you still wanted to tease them, so you trailed your tongue down her pussy and into her hole, replacing the finger you once had in her, swirling your tongue around making her clench your hairstyle in her hands as she said your name through the pants she released from her pink lips.

“ Mmmahh! Your mouth.. your tongue is so mmmgh!”, Mt lady moaned as you flicked your tongue up and down inside of her. She tasted so good even after you ate, but unfortunately, you had to stop this before she cums before her scene and you never supposed to let them do that. That was a clear rule in the contract.

You dragged your tongue out of her and over her pussy one last time prior to getting up off your knees and leaning down to kiss Utahime so she could lick and suck Mt.Lady juices off your lips. And that she did. She tongue kissed you so passionately while whimpering, “ I need you, stay a little bit more.”

You so badly wanted to stay, but you couldn’t. Duty calls. Utahime licked around your lips before planting another kiss on your lips, “ Gosh, you're so damn perfect. Too perfect for these damn men.”

You laughed as the door opened and an annoying but attractive voice spoke, “ Awwn, what about me, {reader}.” MeiMei, you forgot about her but you assumed she got help elsewhere and you were right.

You scoffed as you stared at her before turning your attention to Mt lady and Utahime, “ That was nice for a moment girls. Make sure you two let her know if she takes it overboard. Mostly talking to you, Utahime… I will see you guys around.”

You were about to walk out the door until MeiMei's voice spoke out, “ Ignoring me is only gonna turn me on even more, princess.” You rolled your eyes and continued walking out the door. Once the door closed you fixed yourself up before walking on the other side of the building for Yuushi.

Once you got there, you heard four other voices and recognized them. You wanted to turn around and act like you were helping someone like Keigo or something. The four voices you never wanted to be in the room at the same time with. You breathed in and out your hands on the door, twisting it and was about to open when you heard Aizawa’s voice, “ What do you mean she couldn’t make it? where’s she?”

“ Calm down, her plane is delayed until tomorrow. So we may have to reschedule this scene to tom-”, the director of their scene, Gido, says before he’s interrupted by Toji.

“ That can’t work, I have a big scene to do. Maybe we could find a replacement.”, Toji suggested.

“ No, that would mean we would have to take pictures and go over the scene, which ultimately means working overtime. I’m sure you guy-”, the director says, getting interrupted again.

“ Do not speak for me. I don’t care if we go overtime. I have the perfect candidate in my mind. She’ll be perfect since she already knows how everything works here.”, Benimaru says as the other hummed in agreement.

You forgot you were holding onto the door when suddenly it flew open, revealing Yuushi staring at you with Benimaru, Toji, Aizawa, and the stage crew in the back.

The director was walking over to you, “ Hey we don’t ne-”

“ Yes, we do. She’s the perfect candidate he was speaking about, Gido.”, Yuushi says while holding eye contact with you. Your hands were beginning to get clammy as you processed his words inside of your mind. Once it clicked, you hurriedly shook your head, “ No, No. I am a Fluffer, that's all.”

Toji walked past Yuushi and placed his large arm around your shoulders, bringing you closer to him, “ Oh come on, {reader}. I think you have exactly what we all need. You didn’t even give it a chance.”

“ I’m not cut out for doing things in front of a camera, Toji. It’s nerve wrecking and besides I’m not rea—”, you say, your words lingering until Aizawa got what you were saying.

“ You’re a virgin. That’s why you’re not ready.”, Aizawa says as he watches you look down at the ground in sheer embarrassment. Honestly, he expected you to not be considering the skill you possess and how you flirt and dress.

Toji lifted your head up to face him, “ Can I kiss you?”

The director lit up as he processed Aizawa’s words. “ Actually, you guys are right. She’s perfect for this role. The entire scene is based on the Daughter’s bestfriend fucking the step-father and his friends. What’s better is she’s an actual virgin. This is perfect! Come on, let's get you prepped.”

He dragged you over to the bathroom and you were expressing how this is very new and different and how you didn’t even make a decision. Benimaru heard you and yelled for the director to stop for a second. He walked up to you placing two hands on your face, “ You have the option to decide if you want to do this or not. No one and I mean no one is going to force you to do anything you don’t want to do. That’s not how we work over here.”

You looked into his eyes, almost hypnotizing yourself. You slowly nodded your head, “ Yes. I wanna do it.” You just wanted them four, you didn’t even think about you being on camera anymore because all you thought about was them.

Benimaru hummed and smirked at you, “ Atta girl. Go get measured and prepped for photos and whatever else you need for this scene. We will gladly guide you on what to do, just listen to us.” You nodded your head and got dragged away not even a second later. The director dragged you past the bathroom area and in front of a lady ready to take your measurements.

You felt like a doll as they measured you before your shower– they dressed you up after the shower. You requested a shower because you didn’t want to be sweaty down there while possibly getting the best dick of your life. As soon as you got out of the shower, Gido’s assistant was waiting with her eyes shut and a big bath-robe held open for you to glue your body to. Stepping into the towel, You opened the door to get a pajama set shoved in your arms and some refreshments for moisturizing your body the perfect way for your first scene.

Walking into another area, you still haven’t seen the guys yet. You didn’t have time to worry about them because now the Assistant and another fluffer/ Pornstar named Meryl, who was your co- partner for this storyline. She was supposed to be your best friend in this story line. One thing you’ve learned about this industry is that people can have more than one role in this business. She had two roles now. Meanwhile, The assistant’s hands were magical. They felt so good and you could tell this used to be a fluffer from how skilled she was.Her rubbing circles on your nipples was enough to get them steel and hard.

You honestly liked getting so dolled up and pretty; this may be your favorite part out of all of this. It will vary as time passes. A makeup artist was doing your makeup as well. Feeling the makeup brushes and blenders patting at your face so gently was the best, it felt like you were getting ready for a big movie that could’ve broken the box office with insane numbers. You snapped out of your little fantasy when you heard Meryl’s sweet sultry voice, “ Okay, so you only got five lines throughout this entire opening act. After that, You’ll be talking with Yuushi, who's acting as my step-father. Remember to make this sound as natural as you can. After all, this is your debut video for this company. No more hiding behind the scenes, pretty girl.”

You laughed at her teasing you until Tina, one of the makeup artists, scolded her for making you laugh. You were about to respond when you heard his assistant speak, “ Don’t scare her too much, Meryl. I could tell she’s going to be a natural at this.”

“ They’re right, you know. But I need you ladies to do less chit chatting for now. Need those two to go over their lines with each other.”, the director said as he handed you two the script.

You took the paper from the director’s hand. You look over the paper and look through it nodding at some of the lines you have. It's not much like Meryl said— good.

“Okay, are you ready? It’s only me and you right now, forget everyone in this room right now. Focus on my eyes if that’s not enough. I want you to do so well because I want scenes with you too, babydoll.”, Meryl says as she winked at you.

You smiled and looked into her eyes with a nod letting her know you’re ready. She smiled at you and looked down at the paper before looking at you, “ Hey, wanna spend the night, my step dad isn’t home so it’ll just be us here.”

You looked down at the paper before looking up into her eyes, “ sure, I could use a foot break, l-l, oh shit!” You lifted the paper up to your face to hide your obvious embarrassment.

She hurried to console you by grabbing your wrist, “ No No that was good, you just need to work on remembering your lines. Right Mr. Gido?”

“ Yes, Normally people would’ve had to look at the paper five more times before they uttered that sentence on their first try. Proud of you for that bit so now I need you to take it home for me. You can do that for me, {reader’s name}?”, Gido says as he holds a clipboard to his eyes. You nodded as if he could see you from behind the clipboard and looked down at your lines again, memorizing them and locking them into your mind for the next ten minutes. That's how much time they gave you since Meryl had to get her makeup retouched. You turned the page to see your next lines, which was when you were gonna be talking to Yuushi and his buddies during their card game late at night. It looks like it’s supposedly at 3 am. You blushed at some of the lines on the outside, luckily the makeup artist could only feel your skin getting warmer with excitement and not everyone else. But on the inside, You were screaming like you were a little girl getting your first doll of your kind. So excited for this scene that you almost forgot that you had to get there first.

Soon the makeup artist was done and when they turned you around, You were astonished at how natural and warm it looked. You smiled at yourself in the mirror and watched as another woman fixed your hair. You were so glad Gido had women as makeup artists and hairstylists. You didn’t want to look too light for your own complexion or hair looking not so great because some people don’t know how to do your hair type or hairstyle right when it comes to this industry or any industry for that matter.

You watched as the woman fixed your hair or type of hairstyle into whatever style you wanted. It was beautiful and made your face shine brighter because it enhanced the shape of your face entirely. You smiled at yourself and your glowing face. God, you looked like a pretty bratz doll and everyone heard you whisper that to yourself which earned laughs and hums of agreements.

They got you out of the chair and pulled you into Meryl’s dressing room, getting you dressed for the photoshoot which is going to go straight into the shoot of the video. Once you were informed of that, You knew doll time was over, now it’s time to take this seriously. Your mind was running wild with thoughts of doubt and worry. You were even scared that you would mess up a lot and cause the men's boners to go away because of how many stopping points you were worried to make. Meryl was in there getting dressed when you heard the door shut indicating that you were alone with one of the biggest pornstars in the industry.

You stared at yourself in the mirror thinking ‘are you really about to do this right now’. You were brought out of that thought by a mocha hand just below your boobs, “ Relax, { reader}. I'm with you and at any time, you could stop and we’ll just have to wait on Yuki, long wait, but I would want you to be comfortable then to complain about waiting until tomorrow to do these scenes.” Meryl skin felt so good on your own skin. The warmth she and you have together was enough for you so as she traced her hands up and down your arms to soothe your mind, you leaned your head back against her shoulder. Careful to not lean too far back because she's shorter and weighs less than you. You two were on a chair bench in her dressing room.

“ If you’re too nervous, I could always tell them to wait for Yuki to arrive tomorrow. All you have to do is say it, sweet heart.”, Meryl said as she stared at your neck in the mirror. She followed her first mind and kissed your neck, “ or maybe a little warm up could help you while you put on your clothes. Your choice.” You let her keep kissing your neck with small pecks. You finally whimpered out a small “ yes… please”

Meryl’s blonde hair draped down your shoulders as she planted one last kiss before she tapped you to lift up for a minute to let her get up to lay you down on the long couch. She placed your clothes on the side prior to unwrapping the damp bath robe from your body revealing your full-figure in her pretty blue eyes. Her eyes narrowed and smile brightened. “ Your body is so damn cute, gorgeous. I mean, we all knew that from the pretty, skimpy outfits you prance around here with. You're tempting women like me and Men like them all the time. I may do scenes with the majority of men but I'm willing to change some things around for you if you actually do consider officially doing porn. Do you have any idea how much you’ll pull in with this body especially in the, I hate to say it, BBW category?” You giggled at the attention she’s giving your body as she boldly gushed over it. She made you feel like she was analyzing an art piece submitted to an art gallery. On one hand it was glorious and on the other, it was a little weird because you never had someone so in tune in describing you while tracing her hands over every part of your body. It’s almost like she was worshiping your body.

Meryl kissed down your body with wet kisses, you covered your face in embarrassment and she shook her head and brought your hands from your face, “ no, na uh. You have to be confident in this, pretty. You can’t cover up your face when Aizawa eats your pussy. He’s the best pussy eater next to Kukasabe. And trust me, He’s gonna make you look at him as he does it. It’s his specialty.” she shrugged her shoulders before stopping to breathe in the smell of your natural smelling pussy and almost moaned.

She had to snap out of it because she could feel she was getting obsessed with you, so she just took one lick at your pussy with her tongue making your tense up and shake. “ Don’t worry I'm not going to be the one eating you today, so relax. I don’t wanna repeat myself anymore.” Your body relaxed like she said and you were a little weirded out because you never reacted that way when someone demands something of you.

Meryl grabbed your clothes, placed your shorts by your feet for you to step in and you did. As she pulled them up, she eyed your pussy one last time and licked her lips before pulling them up, just a little over your fupa, showing a little of your little rolls on your stomach. She watched you lift up so you could put the pajama shirt on. It was the cutest pajama set: black tank-top shirt with the bubble-gum pink words “ Scrumptious Doll” on it and black with white polka-dot mini shorts with bubble-gum pink on the outline hugging your thighs and ass just right. It dont even matter if your ass is big or little, it’s gonna show regardless.

As you looked in the mirror, Your tits looked yummy in the natural push up bra this tank top had. The lower outline part of the tank top had pink lace making it appear so much cuter. You fixed your tank top to show more of your boobs and fixed the bottom. Meryl bent down in her own light blue pajama shorts she had on and helped you put your pretty manicured feet in the house shoes they brought you too. It was uncanny how they found this in less than 30 minutes but you’ll digress.

Meryl grabbed your hand as you both walked out the door ultimately about to change your life for better or worse. This was a gamble on your part and you knew it. Gambling was never the thing for you, but you are about to make it yours now. You two walked on the set where the bed you were about to be split open in sat. It was a cute little get up for a set.

The set room had pink Victoria secret stripe walls and the bed was a queen size bed that had black and pink bed set on it. The headboard had a perfect size mirror attached to it and so did the ceiling one. This was very detailed, almost like it was requested instead of just given to them like the usual. The pretty carpet in front of the bed was fluffy and a gorgeous white.

Meryl grabbed your hand and guided you to the bed, “ Okay let’s get the camera’s working, people. I’m gonna guide her through taking photos so no need to yell and spook her off with that yelling you love to do, Gido.”

You smiled at her pointing at the director without a care in the world. You also watched his reaction and laughed at the eye roll and shrug. She turned to you and smiled at you, “ I want you to tell me if anything is too uncomfortable for you during this section. Now I want you to lay back for me.”

Just like that, you snapped into work mode again and instantly laid down for her to get on top of you looking into your pretty eyes as she did— like a certified seductress. You felt yourself getting wet as she licked her lips at your cute serious face, “ Now open your legs for me.” She was straddling your now open legs showing off her ass as she looked back at the camera. A click was heard and you knew there was no turning back from this, so you had to suck all of the nervousness out of your mind during this entire fiasco. In response to your thoughts, you placed your hands on Meryl’s ass, squeezing it and she let out the most beautiful whimper meaning she was sensitive.

“ Perfect, now just take a bit further for me!”, Gido yelled from where he was with a smile on his face. He was loving the shot of your fat pussy tracing through the tight shorts they gave you. He was loving the way you grabbed Meryl’s ass with your pretty manicured hands as well. The color of your nails looked so pretty against Meryl’s skin complexion. Yours as well.

Meryl kissed you and you both whimpered at the contact causing Aizawa eyes to widen as he walked in to see what the director is so giddy about. He was supposed to wait since they made a pact to only see you during the scene just five minutes ago ,but he couldn’t wait.

He watched as you two continued to liplock with each other, obviously losing each other in that sensual kiss you two shared. He could tell Meryl wanted you for herself and she was gonna make sure to get a scene with you just not now. Aizawa was brought out of his trance when midnight walked next to him whistling at the scene.

“ She’s going to enjoy herself and I’m not apart of it! I always wanted to be her first scene when she finally stopped being such a scaredy cat. Shame it’s going to be you four. May the girl survive enough to do a scene with Meryl and I. And maybe Yuki when she gets here. She seems like her type.”, Midnight says as Aizawa intensely watches as you now look at the camera with no sense of anxiety inside of you. The way your thick thighs and legs looked as they were cocked open. Your shorts pooled at your feet whilst Meryl stuck her tongue out to place on the opening of your pussy through your pretty pink underwear.

“ You act as if you three aren’t worse than us. You won’t even let the girl get a break unless she uses the safe word you create for her.”, Aizawa says as he eyed your facial expression noting that you’re gonna be an excellent actor.

Meryl took your hand and guided you to the edge of the bed and pushed you down to which you arched knowing that’s what they wanted. A year of watching other pro stars having to do this comes in handy. The director set up as you arched perfectly. He was beginning to grow hard at the thought of you bending over for him. He didn’t give a damn about the cameras right now and that’s a first. Gosh, he wanted to see you fucked, so he’ll have to speed this up. Whispering to himself was his thing, this time it was about you, “ Such a perfect fucking arch for a virgin. She’s perfect.”

Meryl took in your form with a smile and placed her hands on your wide hips seeing herself fucking you straight with her choice of a strap. She shook her head of the potential moans and names that spew from your lips and finally hooked her finger inside of your pantries pulling them to the side to reveal your pretty pussy to them. Trimmed just right to see that it’s naturally fat and pretty. The slick of your pussy stuck to Meryl’s hand and your panties a little bit. You were wet and Meryl’s mouth was getting watery—- she wasn’t the only one.

The room was silent and you could hear a pin drop. You started to get nervous from the silence until you heard the camera clicking away and sighs were let out, well what you thought was sighs. They gasped and breathed out a long breath filled with shock and excitement. Your pussy was slightly darker than you and was the prettiest pink once Meryl opened you up for the camera, camera men, directors, and Co-stars to see. Your hole was small meaning you were definitely a virgin and was gonna be heard to get inside. Luckily, Aizawa is going first. He knew he was going to have to go slow inside you and that’s more than enough to make him hard again. He couldn’t wait to open you up for the guys to fuck you as well.

Your hole was practically winking at the camera as it showed your pussy clenching and unclenching onto the cold air. The air felt so good on your warm, wet pussy and you were so into your thoughts that you didn’t realize that your hips were wiggling causing your ass to jiggle as well. Anytime you moved, your ass jiggled and they all loved it.

Soon the director got three more shots of you in different positions, one was you and Meryl watching tv with your stomachs on the bed and legs kicked up behind you, before they called the co-stars in the film over. You sat up when they all walked in the room. Toji was the first to walk to you and kissed you with no hesitation. The director's eyes widened at the straight forward call Toji made. The others sighed in annoyance at Toji doing what he wanted.

Your lips locked with Toji in a slow passionate kiss, a kiss the camera man was glad he got. Thing is, Toji wasn’t supposed to actually kiss you. He was supposed to hover his lips over your two-toned pink lip gloss ones. He broke the kiss with another peck lingering as he finally pulled away from you. Your foreheads pressing together as his green eyes looking into {your color} eyes,” So fucking pretty for me right now, couldn’t wait to see you.”

“ Yeah yeah you aren’t the only one in this scene so move over.”, Benimaru says as he stroked his cock through his pants. You looked over at him with puffy lips and pretty eyes. He was actually happy that they chose you for this scene, you’re the only one that could keep his dick hard especially with the look you’re giving him.

Aizawa came up behind Toji and sat on the bed next to you to place subtle kisses on your neck and ear, “ He’s right, {reader}. You look stunning can’t wait to see your facial expressions as I fuck you.” You gasped and that earned you to get Yuushi’s cock in your face creating the perfect shot like you were surprised by his size and indeed you were. He was long and girthy with two veins running across his dick. The pink mushroom tip looked so suckable especially with the pre-cum dripping down his tip and onto the top of your tits in the tank top you were now being fondled in by Benimaru’s hand.

You brought your lips to Yuushi’s cock and looked up through your pretty eyelashes causing him to run a hand down his face whispering, “ Fucking Hell.” You looked so fucking pretty with his tip in your hot mouth. He snapped his fingers and curled two fingers in a gimme motion and the cameraman instantly brought the camera to him. Yuushi grunted when you swirl your tongue on his tip, still holding eye contact with him and now the camera pointed to your face. He snapped two photos before giving it back to the camera man, “ Sorry, I just had to get the most bed shot.”

Toji brought one of your tits out of the tank top and flicked a tongue over it making sure the camera captured it. You were about to bring your hand to your mouth to stop your moan when Aizawa grabbed it and continued to suck and lick on your neck. Benimaru dropped down in between the opening of your legs since Toji and Aizawa were on both sides of you.

Another cameraman focused on getting Benimaru pulled your panties to the side, inhaling your scent and almost growling like an animal. He never thought to make that sound before but he couldn’t resist. He wanted and needed you now, so he brought his lips to your pussy and used two fingers to open you up to him revealing your pink clitoris. He placed his pink muscle on your clit causing you to jump and moan around Yuushi’s cock again. He got on top of the bed and placed his cock back into your mouth throwing his head back like he did a fresh line of coke. He needs you badly. He wanted to stuff his cock down your throat and tell you to take it like a good girl.

The director wasn’t even calling the shots anymore, instead he was watching the chemistry you brew between all these men and he loved it. It was great for the scene you all were engaging in. It’ll look a little real. The director told the cameramen to get four more pictures prior to having the men separate from you and Meryl to get back on set. She looked so red and sweaty which meant she was either getting her pussy eaten by Nemuri or fingering herself to the scene. She got you dressed again and fixed you up to make you more presentable. The men only had you lingering in their thoughts as two of them paced back and forth in the other room in this big ass apartment type room.

Shouta and Benimaru were sitting down at the card table while Yuushi and Toji vented to them about how much they needed and wanted you.

“ Did you see the way she looked at me, she doesn't know what she’s doing.”, Yuushi says to himself, the tent in his pants visible to all of them— not that they minded.

“ Fuck that, did you see them juicy ass tits. Can’t wait to fuck them. Can’t wait to fuck her. How long is this scene again?”, Toji asks, stopping at the foot of the table.

Benimaru sighed and shook his head at the thought of you, “ It’s supposed to be an hour long, why? Got somewhere to be Toji.” Toji used to always roll his eyes at Benimaru calling him Toji instead of Fushiguro since he’s older than Ben but he learned to accept his rebellious ways.

“ No, I’m just planning on taking her after the scene.”, Toji says and the others look at him with glares. All speaking at the same time.

“ Nope.”

“ Na uh.”

“ Not gonna happen.”

Toji smirked at them, “ Who’s gonna stop me? She’s the only one that can, the rest of you don't matter.”

Meanwhile, back to where you’re at, they handed you the script to go over it again. You didn’t need a fluffer so they just told you to go over the script with Meryl again and you did, for about an hour. You knew it was probably 5 pm right now since it was 2:55 when you first got here.

You memorize your lines inside of your head like you had photographic memory— you didn’t. So far you were glad you only had a couple of lines to say before you got to the scene.

“ Are you ready, pretty girl? No need to be camera shy or nervous. In fact, I don’t think you should even be camera shy considering earlier, darling. Maybe we could do some scenes together in the future.”. Midnight said coming up to you and Meryl.

You blushed and you could feel the heat on your ears and cheeks, “ Oh please. That was light work, this is the real deal now. If I like the scenery then yes we can have scenes in the future. Just know so far I’m loving it.”

Midnight smiled at you before placing a kiss on your cheek, making sure to wipe the lipstick off afterwards.” such a newbie response, well welcome to the team, honey.”

She walked away from you and Meryl but not before kissing Meryl on the lips. Meryl blushed a deep red and you couldn’t help but to giggle at her. You could tell she fancies Nemuri.

Nemuri walked past all the directors and such taking their places and finally walked past the men on her way out, “ Such a gorgeous girl, treat her right because I want a scene with her next.” With that she left and left them in confusion and curiosity.

You on the other hand were getting ready to shoot the scene and you’ll go on in 1 minute.

“ Okay so go over it one more time. Okay, hey wanna spend the night over my house, my step dad isn’t gonna be home so it’ll be just the two of us.”, Meryl says with more expression and tone in her voice.

You nodded your head, “ Yeah sure my feet are killing me and I do not want to walk back home. First though, are we watching scary movies?”

“ Hell yeah, I have all the scream movies, Micheal Myers, and even got..’ then we get interrupted by Yuushi cutting in and you lock eyes with him and that’s how the chemistry moves throughout the film. Seeeee it’s easy you have nothing to worry about.”, Meryl says as she smiles at you.

You smiled back at her and got into position just a little bit behind the threshold of the door . You weren’t inside of the set up room any more although you missed it, you’ll see it again in no time. Your back was to it for now.

“And action!”, Gido yelled.

You both smiled at one another as you “walked out” the room. Meryl turned to you, locking eyes with you. Her eyes were filled with reassurance letting you know to not be nervous. “ Hey, wanna spend the night. My step dad isn’t gonna be home tonight so it’ll just be me and you tonight. You can’t say no because you’re wearing the right kinda clothes too.”

You smiled and nodded your head, “ Yeah sure, I would love to ask a question, are we watching scary movies tonight?”

The director smiled once you got the lines right and the tone right. You were definitely gonna be his favorite to work with if you actually want to pursue this career.

“ Hell yeah we are. In fact, I have scream 1, scream 2. Scream 3, is there a scream 4?” to which you shrugged at as expected, “ Ah just know I have a collection of scream movies and Micheal myers. Hell, I even got—”

“ got what?”, Yuushi asks as you two walk in the dining room area.

You eyed him like they told you to do and he eyed you back. The director pointed to you to zoom in on your eyes and how they seductively pulled the audience and Yuushi in. Gido whispered to himself, “ A fucking star.”

“ What are you doing here? You said you weren’t going to be here tonight.” Meryl walked over to Yuushi, standing before him.

“ I don’t get a hey, hello, how was your day dad, etc.”, Yuushi says to Meryl before looking at you still standing far from him to eye him. Yuushi smirked at you and said a line that wasn’t in the script, “ You’re so gorgeous.”

“ Cut!”, the director says, bouncing up out of the chair, “ You know damn well that wasn’t the line Yuushi. Do we need a five minute break or something?”

Yuushi chuckled and scratched the back of his head, “ You can’t expect me not to say out of pocket shit when you have someone like {reader} in front of me. So no, we don’t need five minutes just cut that out of the video and voilà, you got a deal. Come on, Gido. I wanna get to the fun part.”

The director pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed, “ Run it again. Action!”

Yuushi got right back into that smug expression on his face and nodded his head to you, “ Who’s this? I didn’t know you had friends coming over.”

Meryl waved you over to them and you walked over to them, greatly showcasing an anxious emotion on your face and the director and the four cameramen were living for it. You truly had the pornstar look and acting packed down so far. But for you, it wasn’t an act, you truly felt anxious as you stepped closer and closer to them.

Meryl grabbed your hand as she eagerly sucked in her lollipop before handing you one from the bowl on the table they were sitting at. You didn’t know if you should eat it or not but you took a gamble and popped it into your mouth, slow and smoothly. Still holding eye contact with Yuushi as you did it. The camera captured all of it especially when you heard the whisper yells of the director, “ Get in on her. That shot is amazing up close.” “ Yeah, just right. Just perfect.”

“ Remember the friend I told you about, well this is her….”, Meryl says, debating if she wanted to use your real name or not. That’s what you forgot, a pornstar name. She used her ownl name but what would you do? Did you want a new name or stay using your government name?

“ Ah fuck! Cut!!”, the director got out of his chair again. “ I know you’re stuck because of the name so quickly find a pornstar name you think fits best for yourself and I want you two to come up with a name that fits her as well. Tacky and late but we could make it work. Work with me, people!”

How about {reader first name} Valentine! It sounds great and moanable.”, the makeup artist shouted out. You stood there in disbelief of how fast she came up with that. The director snapped his fingers at her and turned to you, "you make the call because it’s gonna be your name you’d have to stick with if you’re gonna actually pursue this career, darling.”

You thought about it and nodded your head because it did sound good and your name was already moanable, you knew because it’s been moaned so many times by people in this industry when you catered to their needs before the shoot. Yuushi smiled because he was glad you kept your first name. He wanted the world to know he’s moaning his dream girl name.

“ Alright! That settles it. Meryl take it away!”, Gido yelled as he sat back down in his chair now eating a cake they handed him.

Meryl snapped back into action, “ Remember the friend I told you about, this is her. { reader} Valentine.” She smiled at you before looking excitedly at her “ Step dad”.

“ Yoshi. It’s nice to meet my daughter's friends.” Yuushi, who goes by Yoshi Mack on the scenes, stuck out his hand for you to shake. You followed his action and held and sucked on the lollipop with the other hand. The more you stared at him, the more his dick was getting hard. Your eyes were perfect and beautiful for the scene. Yuushi turned to Meryl, “ I’m surprised you’re not at the dorm this weekend.”

Meryl rolled her eyes, “ Yeah. No. Not this weekend plus I miss my bed. The dorms are small and dumb. Anyways, don’t bother us while you’re here. Kay? K.” Meryl took your hand and dragged you away, the camera capturing the way your ass jiggled and another one captured Yuushi’s reaction.

“ And scene! Great job everyone! Especially you, my beautiful new star.”, Gido says as he comes up to you to hold your face like a delicate vase in his hands. He was a good looking guy up close. Long black hair, Dark gray eyes, and a toned but slender body.

You were supposed by the sudden gesture and felt a hand on your lower back, “ Let the girl go, Gido. You’re making her uncomfortable by squishing her cheeks like that.” It was Benimaru's voice and you wondered how long he was watching you act. You turned to him in surprise before smiling at him. He nodded his head and looked away from you in fear of showing his cheeks getting pink.

Gido dropped his hands and snarled at Benimaru before speaking, “ Just do your scenes. You, my darling, could prepare to interrupt their scene and get ready to lose the most valuable thing you should hold close to you. If at any point you want to tap out of this. We will. Granted it’s gonna be a hassle taking pictures and doing scenes again but, we could make it work with the next star.”

“ I will definitely let you know, Mr.Gido. Now excuse me while I prepare for this scene.”, You said as you smiled at him before walking off. Beni watched as his eyes followed your ass as you walked away and he purposely knocked his shoulder into his as he walked to the table to sit down. He didn’t want anyone looking at his girl, even if you aren’t his official girl.

You, on the other hand, were pacing back and forth memorizing your lines as you read them over. You didn’t want to mess up not once just like you did in the first scene. You were kinda glad, Yuushi was the only one that changed his name because remembering four new names was gonna be a hassle. You also had to think and couldn’t believe your first scene was gonna be your first gang bang scene and on top of that, you’re a goddamn virgin. Three freshly new things you were gonna be stripped of. The nervousness that comes with this is kicking in and you’re not feeling it. Meryl could see you slowly beginning to panic and immediately ran over to you to take you into her little dress up room.

“ Okay okay, I need you to breathe for me, don’t want you to go into a full panic attack right now.”, Meryl says as she grabs a paper to fan you with rather rapidly too. You nodded and started doing your counting as you breathed in and out. Slowly your heart was getting back to normal and your head was released from the tension it was starting to get. Tightness slowly going away from your muscles as well.

Once Meryl saw that you calmed down a little, she hugged you from behind. Trying to fully wrap her small arms around your body to engulf you into a warm hug. She kissed your head and whispered that it’s gonna be okay and she’ll be right there. All you needed to hear. Out of everyone here, she was your comfort. Weirdly enough since you never really spoke to her until today.

After ten minutes of silence and calm breathing, you were ready to get this over with. You wanted to go home to think about your decisions and etc. a peace of quiet time for you is always at night. You thanked Meryl as she walked you back to the bedroom where you two are gonna pretend to be asleep since it’s technically in the middle of the night in this scene.

You two laid in the surprisingly comfortable bed facing each other. She looked into your eyes and you giggled at the closeness between the two of you. “ This is so awkward.” She laughed and nodded her head, “ Good thing, we just gotta close our eyes while those buffoons are as loud as they usually are.”

You smiled at her joke and she realized you relaxed and closed your eyes for the scene. Your breathing was calm and slow as if you were really sleeping. She made a note to compliment you on that later because she was impressed. She studied your movements and did the same. The director yelled action and everyone started their roles. The room was dark, you could tell from your eyes being closed.

You heard Toji’s voice yelling, “ I won! It’s over! It’s over!” You heard the card being placed on the table roughly and moved to make it seem like you were waking up. The director pointed at you telling the cameraman to capture you waking up very closely.

“ Oh screw you, you fucking cheated, dick face.”, Benimaru says improvising that last word making Toji chuckle knowing that he meant to say that.

Aizawa grunted as the chair scraped across the floor making more noise, “ I’m gonna go get another beer, don’t have time for this.” You noted that he was just his regular self here, surprisingly that was helpful to know.

Yuushi grunted and took out a cigarette, lighting it up and inhaling and exhaling the smoke prior to speaking, “ Oh please, he didn’t win shit. He cheated.”

You groaned and rubbed your eyes as you got up from your “sleep”, putting your cute fuzzy house shoes on and making your way out the room and down the hall and stairs— going into the living room.

Toji was the first to notice your presence and smirked, “ And who is this? Never knew you were into younger girls, Yoshi.”

You stared at him as Yoshi spoke, “ No she’s my daughter's best friend. So keep your dirty paws and eyes off her.”

“ No, let her speak. What is your name, rudeness?”, Benimaru asks as he eyed you up and down.

“ It’s {reader} Valentine. Who’s asking?”, You ask with an attitude they told you to have after being woken up from your sleep. You nailed that perfectly because the camera and the director could see Benimaru was beginning to become irritated.

Benimaru scoffed, “ You’ll know my name soon enough. I ask the questions here, not you.”

“ Well I would like to know who’s asking the questions, where's the harm in that?”, You asked with a hand on your wide hip.

“ She’s a bratty one. Tell me, sweetheart. Were we too loud for you? Told Toji to stop being loud anyways.”, Aizawa says, coming back into the room with a beer in his hand. His long hair was tied back into a man bun and his joggers were black and baggy. The shirt that clung to his sleeper build was everything you needed to see to get a surge of confidence.

“ Yesh you were, so could you please keep it down. I’m trying to sleep sir.”, You said as you rubbed your eyes and yawned. It was a real one too, most could see it was and the director was stunned because how can someone yawn on accident right on cue too. He was amazed at you so far.

“ Make us be quiet.”, Yuushu said as he stood up. Walking slowly to you like a predator stalking its prey.

“ What?”, You asked as you stopped rubbing your eyes.

“ You heard me. Make us shut up cause otherwise I’m happy to make you stop complaining.”, Yuushi says as he stood before you looking into your eyes.

His smirk was getting to you and the way his voice was going lower and lower as he spoke making his voice deeper as well. You squeezed your thighs and shook your head before turning around only to get stopped by Yoshi’s hand on your wrist, he brought your back to his chest and walked you to the table presenting you in front of the men.

“ Come on pretty girl, make us shut up for the rest of the night.”, Yuushi whispers in your ear as he pressed your thighs to the table, making you place your hand on the table. Your body leaned causing your tits to jiggle in front of Aizawa low and dark eyes staring intensely at you.

“ What about Mer-”, You asked before Yoshi cut you off with his big veiny hand gripping your neck. Your head tilted back in response and he took the initiative and decided to kiss you on the lips causing your fingers to grip the table. The camera captured every single detail in this scene. The crew members were so silent that it seemed like you five were the only ones in this room and somehow you liked it.

Yuushi wrapped his bulky arms around you as he bit your lip causing you to gasp in which he stuck his warm, thick tongue in your mouth— swirling it around yours. He loved the taste of the flavor sucker you ate earlier, surprised it was still lingering on your tongue as well.

“ Fuck, her fucking tits are so damn pretty. Want to see them free.”, Toji said as he ripped the tank top you had on releasing your nipples into the cold air causing them to become hard. Aizawa’s dick needed to be free from his joggers before he burst inside of them. He didn’t know how you did it, but you always managed to make his cock hard without doing much.

Benimaru stood up to move the table out of his way of getting to you. Walking up to you, he gripped your boobs as you continued kissing Yuushi, moaning and whimpering into the kiss. The camera was catching all of this and everyone was too stunned to speak because everything looked real and passionate.

Benimaru swirled his tongue over your nipples while Toji bent down to slide your shorts off your hips and down your legs revealing your pretty ass pantries with a huge wet spot on them. He chuckled because he knew this was a raw reaction, you were soaking for them. The camera got up and close to reveal the wet spot to the audience as toji spread your legs apart.

Yuushi lets you breathe by breaking from the kiss but not before placing a sloppy peck on your juicy, wet lips. Yuushi smirked at your eyes getting watery and low, he never thought you would be a crier. Oh he and Aizawa are gonna love you. He whispered in your ear, “ Are you okay?” It was so low that the camera couldn’t even catch it. You nodded your head and he smirked, “ She’s sleeping so it’s just you and us here and now. Say the word. She won’t ever have to know, sweetheart.”

You whimpered and nodded your head to which earned a small smack from Aizawa standing on the side of you and Yuushi. “ Need your words. Need to hear you say them like the little slut I know you are.”

You loved the small, rough slap on your cheek and his eyes widened, in fact, all of their eyes widened. You were a little masochist, an undercover one at that. “ I want you. I want your cocks, pleaseeee.” All four of them smirked before Yuushi picked you up bridal style to take you into his set up bedroom, the camera crew was already set up at. The director followed after the First camera crew capturing them all walking up the stairs with you— built suspense. The director knew it was out of his hands for now because of how real and passionate everyone was, which makes him think you all secretly wanted this to happen at some point. He just sat down and drank his coffee as he watched the scene now show you being thrown on the blue covered bed as you giggled. You all went off script a long time ago so he just let this happen.

The second camera crew got the reaction of biting your lip at the men taking their clothes off price by piece— leaving their draws on. You frowned and pouted as you were deprived from seeing their dicks. “ I want all of you. Every single inch of you guys.” You pointed at their draws and the camera crew followed your movements, “ this isn’t giving me what I wantttt.”

“ You’re a whiny little thing aren’t cha?”, Toji Said as he rubbed a finger over your nipple. He reached up to your chest to play with your nipple.

”We don’t care what you want now, lay back and shut up. You wanted us to shut up and you can’t even do that. Disgraceful.”, Benimaru says as he climbs on top of you. You looked at him with your eyes and he almost came right then and there. You opened your mouth and he hurried and took his hard thick cock out of his underwear and shoved it to the back of your throat causing your eyes to water and your gags to be heard violently. You loved the way you were gagging around his cock. Shit everyone loves the way you sound.

“ Yeah that’s it, pretty girl. You’re doing so good for us.”, Benimaru says as he takes his cock out of your mouth. The spit disconnected as he took his dick out your mouth to let you breathe. “ Have you learned your lesson yet?”

You shook your head and gladly opened your mouth to take him inside of your mouth again and he gladly stuck his dick in your mouth again. You felt your panties being slipped off and as they slipped them off, your pussy was drenched in your wetness. You felt on top of the world as you experienced pleasure from all directions. The juiciness of it all was everything Aizawa needed. The camera as well.

Aizawa stuck his tongue out to lick a stripe of your pussy and groaned at the taste of your pussy on his tongue. He placed French kisses on your pussy before opening up your folds with two fingers and diving into eating and slurping on your pussy. The sexual sounds he brought out of you was everything Benimaru needed. Every moan vibrated on his dick and he loved it. You had a crazy lock jaw on his cock as well. The hollow of your cheeks was being gathered on camera and the viewers were gonna love that.

Aizawa moaned as he tongue fucked your pussy with rapid speed. The circling of his tongue was deep inside of your pussy and he knew you loved it when your dick sucking and moaning sound grew louder— that’s how he knew you were close too. Aizawa didn’t really know what to expect when he made you cum. Was you a squirter or creamer, either way he’s gonna drink and suck it up. He didn’t care, he wanted your taste to last and linger in his tongue.

Aizawa placed a finger on your pussy hole as he sucked and swirled his tongue over your clit. His finger was so thick and long that it started to hurt you as he moved it on the inside. You placed your hands on Benimaru’s thighs to let him know that you needed to breathe and he smacked them away to which your eyes rolled to the back of your head. You were living the way he treated you but down below, you were slowly opening up your hole for Aizawa to finger you. Granted it still hurts just a little bit but somehow it felt good as well.

“ shit! She’s hugged around my finger like a damn coat. So damn beautiful.”, Aizawa says before pulling back to spit on your pussy and your hole while Yuushi and Toji held your legs open as they stroked their cocks to the sounds your mouth and pussy makes.

“ Holy fuck, Aizawa. Hurry up, I want to taste her too.”, Toji says in desperation. Aizawa moved over and made room for Toji in between your legs. Toji gladly accepted it and now both of their tongues and aizawa’s finger was fucking your pussy so good.

Your tits jiggled as you tried to move your hips up and down. Benimaru hair was sticking to his face as he fucked in and out of your mouth creating little spit bubbles as he did it. The faster he fucked your mouth, the wetter your mouth got. The bubbles were proof of that. Snot was even making its way down your nose, luckily Yuushi wiped it in time for it to get Benimaru's dick in your mouth, not that he cared. He loved when bitches got messy for him.

Your tears only added to his euphoria as he pisoled into your mouth. His dick created a throat bulge as he moved in and out, “ Oh shit! Fuck! Such a disgusting bitch taking my dick like this. Uhhhn.”

You needed to wrap your hands around something as you got your pussy devoured by two men who were locking tongues as they licked and slurped up your juices. The camera captured every last one of yall from how spacious this room is as well. It was Yuushi’s designed room.

You wrapped your hand around Yuushi’s cock dragging it up and down just like you always do when you were a fluffer. His eyes rolled to the back of his head as you did the twist he always loved. “ Shit, that’s it, baby girl.”

You continued to stroke him as both Toji and Aizawa sucked on your clit who tried to both do it at the same time and somehow it felt so damn good, good enough to scream on Benimaru’s cock inside of your mouth. Your spit was layering his cock just right, some of your spit dripped down your mouth and onto his balls and your chest. You were sloppy and he loved it. Loved it enough to cum with two more strokes. You on the other hand squirted on toji and aizawa’s lower half of their face. Aizawa gladly opened his mouth to catch some of it, while Toji was sucking it into his mouth.

“ Ahhh. Fuck, { reader}. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Hughhh.”, Benimaru fucked your mouth one more time as his cum flowed down your throat. It was warm and a little gooey. Other than that it tasted healthy.

Benimaru stayed there staring at your mascara rubbing down your face with your tears and knew you were perfect for this role. He even managed to stay semi hard in this role. Usually when he came that was it. You were someone special.

Benimaru got off of your as he stroked his cock to make himself fully hard and it worked because he was staring at your tits thinking about fucking them while you get pounded by the rest. Yuushi stopped your hand before he could cum. While, Toji and Aizawa kissed your pussy one last time as you panted and whimpered from the contact.

“ So fucking good.”, Toji grunted out as he slipped his undergarment down, revealing his heavy and long cock. Aizawa did the same, revealing his long and semi-thick cock. Fuck they were all huge and too much for you.

“ Wait.. I’m a virgin.”, You say which was your line as well.

“ Don’t worry, we’ll take care of your tight virgin pussy.”, Yuushi says as he gives you a peck on the lips.

Aizawa dragged you down to his legs. He stood over your body, watching your chest rise up and down in anticipation of what’s happening next. He looked at Yuushi, “ You’re okay if I go first, Yoshi.” He nodded and waved his hand, “ Don’t care I just wanna break this brat down.”

Aizawa placed his cock on your pussy and the lone camera man who took photos captured that moment perfectly while on the sidelines. Aizawa breathed in and out as he slowly moved his cock up and down your pussy giving you a pussy job. You moaned as your back arched off the bed. Toji knew you needed a distraction from how bad it’s going to hurt so he kissed you and Benimaru and Yuushi followed the lead. Aizawa nodded at them, basically thanking them for easing your mind. He didn’t want to hurt you or see you hurt. Neither did they.

Aizawa held your lower stomach with one hand as he guided his bulbous tip into the opening of your pussy. He slowly pushed in and your eyes snapped open and began to water. It hurts so much. Aizawa knew your hymen wasn’t broken yet so he was gonna have to ease more of him into you. And he did. Pushing into you felt so good and tight, he almost couldn’t move from how tight your pussy is. “ Fuck, hold on for me, sweetheart.”

Toji swirled his tongue inside of your mouth as he kissed you, he rubbed your neck with his hand as he did. He wanted you to know that you’re okay right here with them. You’re safe as well and you got the hint only when Yuushi whispered, “ ease up for him brat, you’re safe so don’t make this harder than it needs to be.”

Aizawa leaned down to kiss the upper part of your stomach to let you know he cares for you. Aizawa felt more liquid dripping down his cock and stood up again to look down and see the blood meaning your hymen was officially broken.

He slowly moved inside of you until he was hurried to the hilt, “ Fuck, this pussy is so tight and warm. I could stay in this forever.”

Toji kissed and licked your tears away from your face as Aizawa started to fuck you slow and passionately. He swatted your hand from pushing him away and started to move A little faster inside of you when you opened up to him. The director sat up and pointed to your hole being fucked open by Aizawa’s big dick. You were moaning so loud in Toji’s mouth. The blood was slowly disappearing and changing to your normal juices, which means he could go faster now.

Aizawa’s hands gripped your thighs, finger nails digging into your thick flesh as he fucked into you faster. His dick was just one cm away from your cervix and he took that as an opportunity to go even faster.

Your pussy was clutching around his dick making everyone’s eyes widen as he pulled back to let everyone see how much you gripped on to him. Fuck, everyone was in love with the way your pussy looked on and off camera. It’s like you were made for taking cocks like theirs.

“ Daddy, oh my goddduhhhn, it feels so good.”, You moaned out once Toji let you breathe. Aizawa paused and sharpened his eyes, “ Daddy huh, what happened to sir or was that all an act. Such a naughty girl.”

Your tits were moving up and down so prettily and your stomach was moving as well. You were so damn pretty to all of them.

“ I’m sorry, please fuck me sir, daddy, I don’t care just fuck me!”, You moaned out as you stared down at where you two were connected. He was living in and out so beautifully. You sat up on your elbows and he took that as an opportunity to spread your legs further and yank your hair into his hands, getting a good grip to fuck you as he held onto your hair so tightly that it added to your pleasure, weirdly enough.

The way you bit your lip to hold back a moan told everyone else that you enjoyed the way he was fucking you. Your eyes were rolled to the back of your head and you almost looked possessed as you babbled incoherent sentences and pleas.

Yuushi grabbed the lube out of the dresser and put some on the anal toy before bending down to place it inside of your hole, opening you up slowly. You screamed at the feeling of your second hole being opened up, “ It hurts. It hurts.”

Aizawa bent down to kiss you as he fucked into you. In between the kisses were whispers of reassurances, “ I know baby” “ Open up for Yoshi slowly for me.” “ Breathe”

Aizawa lifted his sweaty upper body off yours and had his hand still gripped into your hair giving you two more strokes until he let go of your hair causing you to fall on the bed and arch your back.

The sting was a little bit still there but it felt good when Aizawa swirled his hips making his cock swirl in circles inside of you. “ hnghhh fuck, I want more. Wan’ cocks. Need your cocks” they have officially broken their pure and innocent { reader} and they loved it. You were now a babbling slut who’s about to sleep all of their cocks inside of your hole.

Aizawa pulled out a bit so the camera could see how fluttering your hole is and the shape it was forming now. The butt plug looked so damn good on camera too. Aizawa tapped your pussy with his cock one time and pushed inside of you, now climbing on top of the bed. His hands gripped your legs and held them up so he could press you into a mating press. Yuushi pulled the butt plus out slowly and you moaned inside screaming meaning your hole was semi prepared to take his cock.

Yuushi bent down to spit on your ass hole prior to sticking his tongue out to lick around the ring. You shuddered and tried to move up and down since Aizawa stopped a bit to let Yuushi inside of you behind him.

Yuushi then shoved his tongue inside, savoring your taste and loving it. You never got your pussy and ass eaten until today. They were so damn freaky and nasty. You liked it.

Yuushi stood up and placed the tip of his cock on your hole prior to putting a little lube on his cock. He pushed in slowly and your scream got captured on Toji’s cock in your mouth as he stood on the side. His cock was shoved down your throat and your moans were muffled, “ Oh yeah, this mouth so fucking good, suck me just like that whore.”

Your tongue swiped back and forth under his dick and over his vein makjj in my him stagger just a bit, “ A vixen. A fucking vixen with a mouth like a vice.”

“ Pussy too.”, Aizawa says as he went back to fucking your pussy. White and pink juices from the blood and cream were beginning to form around his cock and he loved it.

“ Ass too. The Tightess pussy and ass we haven’t fucked in years. Shit!”, Yuushi says as he fucked into your ass more faster now. You were in love with how Aizawa was holding your legs down while his balls bounced against your ass. You were sure that his balls were touching Yuushi’s cock fucking your ass open and yet neither of them cared. You liked that as well. You were in love with how Toji’s dick was moving in and out of your mouth, when he went out of your mouth he circled his hips before snapping into your mouth creating lewd noises you knew was gonna make so much noise when this video dropped.

Benimaru was getting a hand job from you and that was almost enough. He knew Aizawa was on the verge of cumming and he was gonna slide right into you when he pulled out. “ She looks so slutty, you make me wanna fuck you all day and night.”

“ No fucking breaks.”, Toji grunted out as he looked down to see your fucked out face taking their cocks.

“ Unless you yell the safe word, strawberry. Wanna fuck you until you can’t walk no more.”, Aizawa says as he fucked you three more times, “ Oh fuck, that’s a good girl for making me cum. Shit!”

You moaned when you felt him empty himself inside of your fluttering hole. Aizawa laid on you for 6 swings before slowly pulling out. Your legs were shaking and Toji slapped it making you cry out. In response he chuckled, “ We ain’t done.”

Just when you thought to relax your legs, Benimaru climbed up on the bed and position his dick over your hole and pushed in, loving the way your mouth detached from Toji’s cock or scream out, “ Aughhhnn keep fucking me, Mr. Yoshi and sir.”

The director was astonished that you acted like you didn’t know Benimaru name as you got fucked by him. You were still trying to follow the script and he admired that. Oh, how you are gonna be fun to work with.

Benimaru slapped your tits as he slammed his dick up and down into your pussy, “ It’s Benimaru to you. Fuckkk-ahhh, you’ve been holding this pussy back from me and I don’t like it.” You whimpered because you were so turned on and still you needed more cocks. You brain was even turning to mush as Yuushi and Benimaru kept fucking into you. Both moving at a fast pace.

“ I- I haven’t pleaseuhhhh. Keep fucking like that, get me pregnant. Hahhh breed me.”, You were moaning those words like you meant it and you didn’t but they thought you did so they went even harder.

Nothing but groans, moans, and skin slapping sounds were echoing around the room. This felt so surreal to everyone watching and involved. You were so busy getting fucked out that you couldn’t see, the crowd of people watching you take all of their cocks now since Toji had his thighs on each side of your head, drilling into your mouth and Aizawa had your hands playing with his wet and cream filled cock.

The crowd consisted of the directors, crew members, and other co-stars like Touya, Eren, Levi, Obi, Konro who was smiling, Mirko, Midnight, Gojo, Mic, Miche, Shoko, Etc. they were enticed by how pretty you sounded and how real it sounds.

They all loved the way your body responded to these four. Benimaru gripped your boobs as he fucked your pussy, kissing the cervix so painful but good. You felt like an onahole and you never thought you would’ve liked that feeling.

“ Fuck I think I’m gonna cum. She’s such a fucking good girl. Shit, I’m cumming baby.”, Yuushi groaned as he fucked and came into your now gaping hole. Granted it was small but it was still gaping.

Benimaru nails were digging into your boobs making your groan in ecstasy, his body was so sweaty and red and he knew your legs were hurting and shaking but that only added to his pleasure of knowing he’s making you this way, he showed off when he swirled his hips and bounced one more time before cumming inside of your pussy, “ That’s it, lemme breed this pretty pussy, isn’t that what you wanted.” He smirked when you nodded your head as you came in his dick from his pounding and Yuushi’s pounding. You came at the same time Toji came.

“ Fuck this fucking mouth, ha hughhhnnn. Fuck!”, He yelled as he slammed his dick in your mouth, staying there for a minute. It looked like you were suffocating for a bit before he slid his soft cock out of your mouth letting you breathe.

Benimaru slid his cock out of your pussy letting the camera catch his, Aizawa’s, and your white fluids leak out of your abused pussy.

Yuushi did the same, not prior to slapping your ass making your whimper at the contact. Your ass felt sore and your pussy and legs did as well.

Aizawa came on your face almost catching your eyes, “ Fuck, came two times today. Fuck!”

You panted as the camera leaned over your head to get a shot of your fucked out face and body before the camera man threw his thumb up letting everyone know it’s a wrap.

Everyone smiled and congratulated you on shooting your first ever porno as Toji was willing you down. You whispered tiredly, thank you for making Toji smile. Toji then picked you up and the rest of the men followed him out the room and down the stairs to the other main door and out the scene room completely.

“ where are we going?”, You tiredly asked as you felt your body going up and down as he walked to the bathroom. The bathroom with the bath and shower thankfully.

“ We gotta get you a clean and comfortable doll, can’t have you passing out because of the lack of proper aftercare. So just lay back and relax.”, Tojii said as he handed you to Yuushi. You didn’t know how much these men lifted, but you knew it had to be a lot to carelessly carry you around.

You closed your eyes as you felt a kiss on your forehead and then another one on your cheek.

“ You did so well, sweet heart.”, Aizawa whispers.

“ nah I would say she did amazing for her first time with everything. Thank you for letting us be your first.”, Benimaru said and Aizawa nodded his head.

You smiled with your eyes closed, “ I made the right choice.”

They knew you were on your way to slumber but they smiled at what you said until they heard your phone buzz in your pocket. Toji, who had your clothes, took your phone out and read the text message.

“ Well well well, guess we’re all going to a dinner tomorrow boys.”, Toji says as he showed them the text your mother sent you as a reminder for attending her dinner so she could set you up with what should be your brother fling.

All of the men smirked, some let out a small one. Cough cough Aizawa. They were glad that finally got you and they weren’t planning on letting you go.

𓊆ྀི❤︎𓊇ྀི Bonus

“ Come on pretty girl, give me one more.”, Toji whispered in your ear as you sat on the bathroom sink in your parents house trying to cover your mouth. You didn’t want your parents to know how disrespectful you were being right now.

Your moans were muffled as he kept your legs spreaded for his entire body to fit inside of them. His dick felt so good with you wrapped around him. He almost wanted to pound you for hours using this same position, filling you up nonstop.

“ Fuuuchhhhmmm!”, your moans were gibberish and muffled to the point you thought you were learning a new language. Toji heard the squelching sounds your pussy made and grunted in satisfaction knowing he had their girl all to himself right now.

“ Give me what I want baby, let go for me and let me cum in that pussy of yours.”, he grabbed your neck with one hand and your hair with the other. Yanking your head back, he nipped at your neck desperately letting out his grunts and moans you were getting him to release from his throat.

“ I can’t. Ohhmmmm I can’t, I can’t.”, You maimed as your eyes began to water from how much the pleasure was taking a toll on your mind. His dick felt like it was punching inside of you with how loud the slapping of skin on skin was becoming much louder. His thrusts were building up in power and your pussy was getting more wetter.

Once he let go of your hair, still panting and moshing your name in your neck, he reached down to your fat pussy— rubbing your pussy in calm circular motions. You screamed into your hand once the water came spraying out your pussy whilst your body was shaking violently.

You could feel Toji smiling against your skin as his teeth grazed your skin. He knew he could make you do more and that’s what he was about to do as he pumped his dick inside you. When he pulled out, he’d drag his dick out slowly before pushing back inside of you while his hips moved in a circular motion. He’s too damn good and you knew you were about to cum.

“ i thought you said one more timeeeeahhhuhh.”, You maimed out as he continued to fuck and tease your soaking pussy.

Toji laughed in your neck before bringing his eyes to meet yours, “ my fault princess, I forgot. This pussy of yours is soul taking, can’t help it.” He stopped rubbing your clit and brought his hands to your ass, and grabbed it with both hands. Squeezing your ass in his large hands that had two cold silver rings on them, you were in heaven. Toji pushed all of his cock inside of your hole making your cream push out on his dick.

“ Fuck I’m gonna flood this pussy with my cum baby. Need to cum’ wanna cum. Fuahhhckkk.”, He moaned in your ear one last time before he came inside of your pussy shoving all of his thick ass size into your hole. He gripped your ass cheeks like he never wanted to let go, his eyelashes fluttered as he closed his eyes when he came inside of you. You felt his finger nails going into your ass and moaned at the impact and the feeling of him filling you to the brim. Both of you guys were panting and breathing loudly as the silence engulfed the bathroom.

Toji looked back down at you because he had his head tilted back a little. He admired your beauty for five seconds prior to kissing you. As you two swiped your tongues over each other, a loud bang was heard and Yuushi’s voice followed, “ Next time you two run off, make sure it’s not obvious. Now wrap it up because I have to pee and her father is wondering where she’s at. I think her mom knows what’s going on because she keeps directing the conversation whenever he asks and she also keeps smirking at all of us, it’s getting weird.”

You laughed against Toji's lips knowing very well why your mother was looking at them. She wanted to pick out the father of an unborn child she wants you to have. You couldn’t even think about inviting them because your brother insisted you did when you told him about losing your virginity to them. Toji chuckled and kissed your lips one last time, “ Thank you, princess.”

ᰔᩚ ━ Tagging: @dejtheauthor @simpingfor-wakasa @happygoluckyalexis @mastermindenoshimaalicia and plenty more

ﾟ•┈© all right reserved to salaciousdoll, she does not give permission to steal, plagiarize, and translate.

[dalekofchaos]

The bastardization of Life Is Strange

I thought things couldn't get worse than the D9 Predatory business practices, toxic work environment, rampant misogyny, homophobia, transphobia and protecting a fucking Nazi Expose.(this apparently wasn't the red line for some folks and still insisted on buying the game anyway)

Well, it's not worse than that, but now?

The entire game has been leaked.

You can't make this up.

They made Life Is Strange, a Indie developer's passion project into MCU Lite.

Safi is a shapeshifter and the final choice in Double Exposure is "will you join forces with Safi" and Max joins the dark side or some stupid shit like that. Or refuse like the Max Caulfield I know would actually fucking do. Who wrote this fucking shit???

“i'm going to find other people like us, max, people with powers. i spent my whole life thinking i was the only one, knowing i could never tell anyone because they would look at me like THAT. but now there's you. you... and me... time traveler and a shapeshifter”

literally why is there even an option to side with her in the first place, she's clearly out of her mind, if there ever was a "morally bad and morally good decision" like d9 wants to assign to the endings of lis1, THIS WOULD BE THAT what a crock of shit.

How did Life is Strange go from melancholic, artsy slice of life to fucking Avengers? HOW!?

at the end max gets a nightmare just like in LIS 1

Texts are assumed to be apart of the nightmare

Silver lining. One final Chloe message after alienating the core fanbase and D9 think scraps will make up for it?

In hindsight.....they warned us what they were planning.

Dude took the "Elsa join the X-Men" meme a little too serious and literal.

But wait, it gets worse.

....I FUCKING APOLOGIZE. I once dreamed of all the protagonists coming together. But not like this. NOT FUCKING LIKE THIS!

BUT WAIT. IT GETS FUCKING WORSE!!!

Life Is Strange going from one studios passion project to the fucking Avengers is the biggest fall of grace I've ever seen.

There was a charm, chemistry and likability of the original game.

It was never about a character having superpowers. It was about finding oneself in the world, friendship, love, tragedy and making the hard choice. LIS 2 is about brotherhood, family and learning to make the best possible choice to give your brother the best life. TC is about trauma, family, finding a better life, corruption. It was never about the powers. That was a background noise and a small part of the overall story.

You know, the worst part of all this is that Hannah Telle sold her principals and credibility for DE.

Thinking about things better and from certain comments I've read about her, such as the nervous breakdown, it leads me to believe that Hannah is a hypocrite just because she's nervous.

Think about it: early 2016 she says she likes Grahamfield. But in 2018 for Farewell she says she likes Pricefield and her favorite ending is Bae because she knows Max couldn't live without Chloe (and Farewell made her come to that conclusion) and now saying she couldn't think of anyone else doing Max... dude... better say you need the money, and you didn't want to deal with the angry fandom and that's why you changed ships.

It bothers me (or rather I see it as hypocritical) that they say "nobody bothers Hannah, poor thing" poor thing? But she accept all that! She's accepting not even saying "Chloe" in interviews anymore. Poor thing, why? I mean, they can attack the other AVs but not Hannah? What the hell privileges does she get when NO ONE DESERVES to be harassed. Damn, even Max's Japanese AV is afraid of being harassed when she goes to play DE!

At least Ashly Burch has some principals. She knows her worth and when the direction of the story is shit. She stands up for her fellow VA and the only reason BTS was remotely successful is because she was a story consultant and Farewell because she stood up gor her fellow SAG VAs.

Ashly even said that she prefers Bay and sees Chloe more with Rachel. And there she is, living with her principles. It makes me think that if Hannah accepted the whole DE disaster, it's because she agrees that Max is like that and she liked everything and that to me is worse, that Hannah sees the complete bastardization of Max Caulfield and Life Is Strange as a whole and went "yes, this is the complete direction I can see for Max and I completely accept this superficial soulless garbage, why no I am not a complete and utter hypocritical sellout".

I take back what I said about the Pricefield breakup being realistic because it was done out of malice to hurt Ashly Burch for standing up for herself and having an ounce of self-respect and principals and alienate Chloe's fans. Fuck SE and fuck D9.

Anyways I stick with my headcanons.

Post-Bay. Max and Warren are successful Photojournalist and Science Professor, married and living their best lives while keeping in touch with their friends from Arcadia and visiting Chloe's grave on her birthday and the anniversary of her death.

Post-Bae. Time shenanigans happen which results in Max saving Rachel and because of saving Rachel she saves Chloe and Arcadia Bay. Max, Chloe and Rachel ride off in the rainbow and get their happy ending. Max is a successful Photojournalist, Chloe is a mechanic and owns her own Tattoo Parlor and Rachel fulfills her dream as an actress and model. They often visit Arcadia to visit old friends, run into Alex and Steph, even join their band for a few gigs and are just living their best lives.

[eyes-of-rock]

Gambling With The Heart

chapter one

Eric Singer X OC

Jewel took the gamble of her life when she moved from a small town in Canada to Las Vegas to pursue her dream of making a name for herself as a professional poker player. She’s all alone in a new city until a chance meeting with Eric Singer changes that.

Jewel’s POV

Two weeks ago, I took the biggest gamble of my life. I moved from my small town in Canada to Las Vegas.

I have two great loves: poker and classic metal and rock. I have no musical talent, so I decided to pursue being a professional poker player.

I was fascinated when I saw my dad and his friends playing it at our kitchen table. I fell in love right there and then. I dedicated my life to learning and playing the game. That dedication paid off because I was good enough to win every tournament back home.

That’s good, but winning tournaments in Atlantic Canada isn’t how you make a name for yourself. It's not how you make it to the next level. The only way to do that is to play in tournaments in places that matter.

Naturally, the closest place to my corner of the world was Vegas—the gambling capital of North America. I had my eyes on Vegas for years. It's been a dream of mine to make it here and play since I was a kid.

I finally took the biggest gamble of my life, packed up my whole life, and moved here. I knew in my heart it was the only way to make it. It's the only way I'd honestly be happy. It's a risk, but it's one I had to take. I know I'd regret it if I didn't.

Am I scared? Yes. I'm terrified. If this all goes south, I have no one to run to here. Everyone I know is a country away. Yet, I am pushing that fear down.

After all, I'm good at hiding my emotions. You have to be to be a good poker player. You can't let anything slip through. You can't let anyone at that table know anything you're thinking.

You not only have to be stoned-faced, but you also have to learn to read other people. Which I also happen to be good at. It is a curse because no one can hide anything from me. I know right off the bat if they are up to something. It saves me a lot of trouble but makes it hard to find people to let into my life.

I'm playing in my first major tournament, which is coming up in the next few days. This will determine if I have what it takes to play with the big boys. I have faith that I can do it. After all, people consistently underestimate me. I doubt it will be any different here.

In the meantime, I still have a couple of days worth of work ahead of me. I took a job as a card dealer. That way, I can still pay the bills and make extra money if I don’t win immediately. It's a fun job; you can make extra money on tips.

I'm sitting in a restaurant alone, having lunch on my day off. I figured I had to start getting used to doing things alone. Plus, I felt like getting away from my apartment and trying to unpack my whole life. So I'm sitting here people-watching and waiting for my food. Trying to pretend I'm not lonely. At least no one can tell by my face.

I glance across the restaurant as three people sit at one of the empty tables. It's two older men and a woman. The two men look familiar to me. Like I know them from somewhere, but I can't place where.

One has long, shoulder-length dark hair and a dark goatee that matches. He also has an erring and wears a dark denim jacket, t-shirt and jeans.

The other one has longer hair. His is lighter blonde at the top but fades into a darker blonde at the bottom. It suits him well. He's wearing some bracelets on one wrist and a nice-looking watch on the other.

I don't know much about watches, but I've won some when people have gotten desperate. I always pawn them off for the money, except for the first one I ever won. It was my first game, so it meant a lot to me. That one I kept as a good luck charm. I’m always wearing it.

They look like they’re rock stars. So that's for sure how I recognized them. I just can't place what band or bands they are in. This is going to drive me insane.

———————————————————————

Eric's POV

“Now that kiss is over, have you considered trying to find someone again?” Lisa asked me as she read over her menu.

I think it's a known fact by every person I know I have the worst luck regarding women. Every relationship I've had has ended for one reason or another. Most of them don’t last more than a few months.

After a string of failures, you just kind of give up. I'm not someone who gives up quickly either, but sometimes you just have to accept it's not happening. You aren't going to have that life, even if you want it. There is no point in trying when you know how it will end; with the girl finding someone better or finding something about me, they can't get past it.

“Here we go again.” I sigh. I know Lisa means well, but we’ve had this conversation before.

“We’re just worried you might be lonely,” Lisa says.

I hate people worrying about me. I can handle myself just fine. I'm okay with being alone. I've accepted it, plus I'm not alone. I have friends and my cats.

I look over at Bruce.

“Can you make her stop worrying about me?”

“No, because I worry about you too,” Bruce admits.

“You don't need to. I'm fine,” I say, dismissing him. “If I wanted someone, I could find someone.”

That statement isn't completely true. I'm sure I could find someone; can I walk up to her and lay it on? No. I'm not that kind of guy. I can’t flirt to save my life. I completely lock up and just start rambling about something random. That turns off most women, to begin with.

“Really?” Lisa says, sounding unconvinced, “I don't think I've ever actually seen you chat up a girl before.”

“I've known him 30 years, Lisa, and I have never seen that.” Bruce agrees with his wife.

“What do I have to do to make this conversation stop?” I ask, groaning, “Do you have to witness me failing with a girl? Would that make it end?”

“We just care about you, Eric.” Lisa says, “I just don't want you to end up alone.”

“Stop being so cynical,” Bruce says, “Maybe me and I can help you find someone.”

“Do you have many single female friends I don't know about?” I ask sarcastically.

“Um,” Lisa says, looking around the restaurant, oh, I don't like where this is going.

“What about her?” Lisa said, looking over toward another person in the restaurant.

I glance over to see who she's looking at. There’s only one person it can be. A pretty young woman with dark hair. She's sitting alone and can't be older than twenty-five. There is no way this pretty young woman would want anything to do with me, an older man.

“If I go and talk to her, will you two quit it?” I ask; I already know how this is going to end. So I might as well get it over with to enjoy my lunch in peace.

“Yes,” Bruce says.

“Fine, I'll go talk to her, but I'm only doing it, so you two shut up,” I tell them as I get up and walk over to where she's sitting.

———————————————

Jewel’s POV

Out of the corner of my eye, I notice the blonde guy getting out of his seat. Then I see him coming over towards me. Why is he coming over here? Oh my god. Maybe he noticed me looking at them? I wasn't staring; I was just trying to figure out who they were. I guess I'm about to find that out.

“Hey…..uh….nice watch.” He awkwardly says, pointing to the watch I wear for good luck.

“Thanks, I won it in a poker game,” I tell him, holding up my wrist.

“You won a 10,000-dollar Heuer watch in a poker game?” He asks me, sounding taken aback by that; it takes a second for what he just said to sink in.

Did he say that this watch I won in my first tournament, which I've been wearing daily, is worth 10,000 dollars?! What in the fuck- I mean, I knew the guy who lost it was drunk, but I didn't think he was that drunk. I've been wearing a 10,000-dollar watch as a good luck charm, thinking it was worth 1000 dollars at most.

“This watch is worth 10,000 dollars?!” I gasp in total shock.

“Yeah…wait, you didn't know that?” He says, looking intrigued by how I never knew that.

“I don't know anything about watches,” I admit,

“The guy who lost it to me placed it down as a last-ditch effort to stay in the game on an all-in worth about $500.” I explain, “I guess he was way more wasted than I thought.”

“He must have been, you got that watch for a fucking steal.” He says, looking astonished some guy would bet this watch on $500.

“If you know nothing about watches, why did you keep it?”

“Oh, it was my first major win, so I kept it to commemorate it,” I tell him, “It's kind of my good luck charm.”

“Well, you lucked out; that's also a hard watch to come by.” You can just tell Watches is this man's passion. He seems very knowledgeable, and his face lights up when discussing it. It's honestly cute.

This still doesn't solve the mystery of how I know him, though.

“I fucking guess so.” I laugh, “I guess I won more than I thought in that game; I'm Jewel, by the way.”

“I’m Eric.” He tells me with a smile, “Are you a professional poker player?”

Eric. Hmmmm. There are a lot of guys in rock named Eric. It doesn't narrow it down too well, yet I feel I'm getting closer. It's too bad he didn't give his last name.

“Well, yeah, kind of. I'm not at a high level yet, but I'm working towards it.” I tell him, “What do you do?”

“I’m a drummer, watch collector and sports nut.” He tells me.

Drummer. That's when it clicks. He's fucking Eric Singer of KISS. Fucking hell. I feel embarrassed it took me this long to put it together, considering they’ve been one of my favourite hands since I was a kid. In my defence, Paul is my favourite member.

“Oh, you’re Eric Singer! That's how I know you.” I say out loud, proud I figured that out by mistake. Jewel, that's an inside thought, you dumbass.

“Yeah, that's me.” He laughs.

“Can I ask you something?” I ask him.

“Sure,” Eric says.

“Who's the guy you with? I know him somehow, too, but I can't place him.”

“Oh, that's Bruce Kulick. He was in KISS probably before you were born.” Eric tells me,

“Oh god, that's embarrassing.” I confess, “Considering he's my favourite KISS guitarist.”

“He does look much different than he did back in the band.” Eric jokes, “So you’re a KISS fan and a poker played?”

“Yeah, that about sums me up. You’re just missing the fact that I’m Canadian.” I laugh.

“Oh really? Canada is a beautiful country; I bought this watch in Toronto. Did you come here to play poker?” He rambles in the cutest way possible.

“Yes, I did,” I tell him, “About two weeks ago.”

“Wow, you’re new to Vegas then. If you want, I can show you around sometime. I'm not from here either. I’m from Ohio but lived in Los Angeles for a long time; I loved here a few years ago, though.” Eric offers.

I don't know anyone here, plus who the hell would say no to Eric Singer showing you around Vegas? That's like some experience people would pay for. Plus, he's very friendly and talkative. So I’d probably learn some excellent stuff; I also like listening to him talk.

“Okay, I'd like that,” I smile at him.

“I’ll give you my number.” He smiles back.

“Okay, I'd love that,” I replied, taking out my phone so he could enter his number.

“Okay, I'll be right back.” He says, getting up and rushing back to his table with Bruce Kulick.

The woman at the table, who I assume is Lisa Kulick Bruce’s wife, reaches into her purse and hands him some paper and a pen. Then he quickly writes down what I'm thinking is his phone number.

“Here you go,” Eric says handing me his phone number on the piece of paper. I can't remember the last time someone gave me their phone number written down. It's so charming.

I tare off a corner of the paper and reach into it to my purse, grabbing a pen. I write down my new number, my American number, double checking in on my phone and hand it over to him.

“And here’s my number.”

“Thank you.” He smiles taking it from me, “Just call me and let me know when you'd like to meet.”

“I will,” I tell him, then he turns and walks back to his table. Just in time for my lunch to arrive.

Well, I've been here two weeks, and I managed to get Eric Singers' phone number without even trying. I'm looking forward to seeing him again. Maybe I'm not as alone as I think.

[lesbiancouplescounseling]

Does Lesbian Couples Therapy Really Work?

That’s a pretty good question… Does lesbian couples therapy really work?

And the short answer is (drum roll)…

Yes!

But I’d bet my comfy Birkenstocks that the question that keeps circling through your worried brain is more like…

Can lesbian couples therapy save my relationship?

And the answer to that (more relevant) question is…wait for it…

Yes! If certain important factors are in place.

Don’t worry. Having the key factors in place doesn’t mean that all the stars in the universe have to align just right.

Or that you and your babe have to have all your shit together before you start lesbian marriage counseling.

Or that there’s an endless list of boxes to check before you can get help.

HOW, THEN, DOES LESBIAN COUPLES THERAPY REALLY WORK FOR MY RELATIONSHIP?

Actually, there are only two (count them…one, two) key elements that need to be in place for lesbian couples counseling to both save and vastly improve your relationship.

First, both you and your partner will have to come to the table with an openness to therapy and change.

Second, you’ll need to work with a well qualified couples therapist that specializes in lesbian relationship therapy.

If those two things are in place, I promise you can go from an oh-my-god-my-relationship-is-about-to-fall-apart nightmare to your dream relationship.

Go ahead and let that relief sink in.

And if you want to reach through your screen and give me a virtual Thank You hug, I’ll take it.

Okay. Let’s flesh-out the two factors that lead to an affirmative answer to that question…

HOW DOES LESBIAN COUPLES THERAPY REALLY WORK?

1. SHOW UP TO THERAPY AS A COUPLE THAT’S MOTIVATED FOR CHANGE

I can tell you, after working as a couples counselor with hundreds of couples over the past 2 decades, it’s become crystal clear that the couples who get better, that fall in love again, are the ones that really embrace therapy and change.

One of the biggest mistakes I see couples making when they come to therapy is that they’re each hoping the therapist will get their partner to change. And when you hang onto that fantasy, couples counseling won’t work.

For lesbian couples therapy to work for you, it’s essential that you wrap your head around the fact that you, too, have some changing to do. Not just your partner.

Don’t freak out! I’m not talking about changing who you are as a person. Or even making huge changes that you can’t possibly sustain.

The changes I’m referring to are usually small. And they are always doable.

But…

They require a heaping tablespoon of your very own motivation.

No kidding. If you aren’t willing to fully show up to therapy, dig deep, and tap into your motivation to change a few things…

Well, I hate to even say it, save yourself the money you’d spend on therapy. You’ll probably need it for a divorce lawyer.

That may sound harsh. But I’m just shooting straight. (Or should I say, I’m shooting gayly forward? ;-))

Back to motivation for change.

I’ve got two questions that will help awaken your motivation.

Ask yourself…

What if nothing changes in my relationship?

Take a minute to answer that question honestly.

I wonder, is the pain of nothing changing (which may likely lead to a break-up) greater than the pain of change?

If so, you’ve just tapped into a well of motivation. Haven’t you?

A second question to help amplify your feeling of motivation is this…

How will you benefit from making the changes that are required of you to improve your partnership? And consider how those changes will benefit the other people you love.

So, one of the two big keys to successful couples therapy is to find the motivation within yourself to show up motivated to become more self-aware, to own your own part in the problems, to see yourself and your partner as a team, and to face your growth edge.

2. PICK A TRAINED COUPLES THERAPIST THAT SPECIALIZES IN LESBIAN COUPLES COUNSELING

Here’s the thing…

Not all therapists are equal.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying that some therapists are more awesome and valuable human beings than others. That would be a mean thing to say.

I’m not talking about equality in terms of intrinsic human value.

When I say that not all therapists are equal, I’m pointing out that some therapists are much more skilled than others at providing great lesbian couples therapy.

If you’re shopping for a couples counselor to help you and your same-sex partner, there are two important qualifications you’ll want to make sure the therapist has.

First, be sure to find a therapist that is a licensed marriage and family therapist, or that at the very least has had loads of training in couples counseling.

See, most psychotherapists, counselors, and psychologist market themselves as doing all types of therapy including individual and couples therapy.

What most folks don’t realize is that a huge percentage of those people haven’t actually gotten much training in couples counseling.

Yikes!

Most graduate school counseling programs only include one or two marriage therapy courses. The exception is graduate programs in Marriage and Family Therapy (MFT).

MFT programs are chalk full of courses, clinical training, and supervision specifically related to couples therapy.

And let me tell you, individual counseling is a different animal than couples counseling. It’s kind of like the difference between driving a golf-cart and an 18-wheeler.

So when you’re shopping for a therapist to help save your relationship, be sure they’ve had lots of training, supervision, and experience in couples counseling.

That’ll insure the best odds that your couples counselor will have the skills necessary to lead you and your partner from the edge of demise to a place of security and happiness.

The second qualification you’ll want to know your therapist has is a specialization in working with women in same-sex relationships.

This way you’ll be sure the therapist has a deep awareness and sensitivity to sexual minority (lesbian) issues and norms. Please don’t underestimate the importance of that.

It’s not enough for a therapist to say something like “I don’t judge gays. And I have a niece that’s a lesbian.”

In order for you to say yes to the question, does lesbian couples therapy work, your therapist must:

provide a gay affirming environment

understand the pitfalls of their own hetero bias

have a working knowledge of the unique clinical issues that lesbian couples face

And that’s a tall order for a straight therapist. Not impossible. But not something that simply appears magically.

Just last week I got a call from a lesbian in her 40’s about scheduling couples counseling. She told me that they had gone to another therapist, but felt completely uncomfortable. Especially after the therapist said, “Well, I know this works for heterosexual couples. And I think it’ll probably work for you, too.”

No. No. No.

Save yourself the heartache and the money. Find a therapist that specializes in working with lesbian couples.

A shortcut to finding such a therapist is to locate a couples counselor that identifies as lesbian or queer.

Problem solved.

So if you’re in the Denver area and you’re looking for a lesbian therapist to help you and your partner turn your relationship around, you’ve landed in the right place.

The therapists at The Lesbian Couples Institute are highly trained couples counselors and we’re part of the lesbian community. Give us a call today if you’re looking for help.

[myinternetaddictworld]

Kiss It Better {P.P}

MINORS DNI 18+

This one is kinda longer than my last posts so if you’re looking for a longer read here ya go. Smut toward the end for my favorite little freaks 🤭

CW: college! peter x reader, oral sex (f receiving) body worship, multiple orgasms, possessive peter if you squint

You were never one for relationships. You figured because you always moved around so much growing up, there wasn't much of a point to getting close to anyone. You figured it would just hurt less to keep to yourself. Since graduating high school, your mom moved once again, this time to New York City. This was the biggest city you had lived in yet. Money was so tight, that rather than starting university right away, you decided to work and help your mom out as long as possible. You referred to it as a "gap" year but really you weren't sure how long this little break was gonna last. All you knew was that you needed to find a job and you had to do it fast. Luckily you found one; a cashier at a small bodega near your apartment.

The owners were nice and although the money wasn't that much, they promised you more after your first three weeks. You liked the environment and the local customers were surprisingly sweet. Most of them were nice older people usually coming to pick up their morning newspaper and maybe a lotto ticket. Your favorite customer, however, was a tall, curly-headed brunette who looked around your age. He would always come in and grab the same four items: a bacon egg and cheese bagel, a bag of barbeque Lay's, an Arizona iced tea, and a bag of M&M's. He must've been a regular for a while because your manager knew him by name; Peter. The two of you both enjoyed small talk from time to time. You even started having little inside jokes that he would shyly bring up every chance he could get.

One day, you supposed he finally got the nerve up to ask you for your number because he seemed super nervous when he did. From that day on, you two became really close friends. His aunt May even loved you, often inviting you over for dinner. You would be lying if you said the two of you hadn’t “fooled around” a bit in the months you’ve been in New York. The first time it was your idea. You proposed it after a fun night out clubbing with the boy. With the small amount of alcohol in your system, you embarrassingly mentioned how attracted to him you were as well as the few wet dreams you had about him. Peter didn't oblige so you found your partially exposed back pressed against the cold interior of the bathroom stall. It was messy—very messy but you loved every bit of it. From that point on the two of you were classic friends with benefits. It's not like the two of you fucked every chance you got, but when the both of you were in the mood and available, you always took the opportunity.

"Hey sleepy head," he said walking into your empty store.

"Hey," you grumbled out, placing some juice cartons into one of the now empty refrigerators.

"Jesus, good morning to you too," he laughed.

"Sorry, just not having the best morning," you say tossing the plastic container that held the cartons in the trash.

"Sheesh, sorry. Do you wanna talk about it?"

"Don't you have work in like half an hour?" you say, looking at him.

"Please, work can wait...plus I wanna know what's wrong with my favorite person."

The comment made you smile.

"...I'll tell you later," you say. Peter frowns.

"Seriously, I'll meet you at your place when I get off," you said, looking at the cash register in front of you.

"Okay...but promise me you won't mope around all day or otherwise I will too,"

This comment makes you let out a small laugh.

"Alright, I promise Parker. Now go, before you miss your train again."

He smiles, before leaning over the counter and placing a small, chaste kiss on your forehead.

"Okay, okay I'm out the door." he says quickly grabbing his items and placing his money on the counter. With a small ding of the door alarm, Peter is gone.

You loved when Peter and you shared small domestic moments like that. Of course, he wasn't your boyfriend, but he was the closest thing you had ever had to one. When the two of you first started messing around, you were also the one who insisted on not putting a label on it; more just enjoying each other's company. He hesitantly agreed. Despite the "no label/ just friends" agreement, Peter was still one of the sweetest guys you had ever been with. Always opening doors for you, insisting on taking you to his favorite restaurants, and even buying you little gifts here and there.

The real reason you were so upset was that your mother broke the news to you that this would be your last week in New York. She had gotten laid off from her job and there was no way she could make next month's rent in time. Even with the money you were making, there was no way the two of you would be able to afford to stay. In any other case, you would be slightly disappointed but quickly get over it. In this case, you were angry. New York was the first place you felt you fit in and most of all you were nowhere near ready to lose Peter. The thought of you ate at you for the rest of your shift. You hadn’t even realized how fast time was passing. It was now 5 PM and time for you to leave. You let your manager know you were on the way out and gathered your things.

The city looked nice as you walked to Peter’s apartment. Once you arrived you knocked at the door that Peter quickly answered.

“Hey bug, May is working a little late tonight but I could order us pizza if you’re super hungry,” he said as you made your way into his apartment. He had just gotten out of the shower; you could tell because his hair was wet and his lower half dawned a bath towel.

“It’s okay, i’m not really hungry right now.” you say smiling.

“Come here,” he says walking over and pulling you into a hug. His damp hair brushed against you, making you laugh.

Despite this, you loved his hugs. You loved how he always smelled of vanilla. His hugs made you forget everything bad in the world.

“I missed you today,” he said while pulling away.

“I missed you too,” you say secretly missing his embrace.

“So how was work? Do you feel any better from this morning?” he says motioning you to follow him to the couch.

“Uhm, yeah a little,” you say awkwardly taking a seat next to him.

“You sure?”

You nod. He pats his lap urging you to lay on him. You oblige. He begins playing with your hair. You enjoy sitting in this comfortable silence with him.

“Can I have a kiss,” you say, shyly.

“Of course, Princess.”

You sit up and Peter pulls you on to his lap. He leans in and kisses you. Your stomach does cartwheels. You deepen the kiss as you wrap arms around his neck. He’s the first to break the heated kiss.

“Someone’s excited to be with me, huh?” he teases. You laugh.

“It’s okay, I’m a little excited too…” he says as he shifts beneath you. He’s hard, you can feel it through the towel.

“Wow Peter, it’s been like .2 seconds and you’re hard?”

“Hey, you’re the one sitting on my lap, how can I not get hard?” he says, leaning back. You

“Okay, okay.” you’re right, you giggle. You climb from atop of him and lay on the opposite end of the couch.

“Take me big boy,” you say jokingly. Peter crawls over you, leaning down to kiss you again. This kiss different from the first one. This one needy and desperate. It had been weeks since the two of you hooked up. You were busy with work and he was busy with school. Both of you could agree this was much needed.

The kiss soon moved from your lips to your cheeks and eventually to your neck. Peter knew your body better than anyone else you had ever been with. He quickly found the sweet spot of your neck which earned a quiet moan from you. He lightly tugged at the fabric of your shirt. You help him by grabbing the material and pulling it up before he finishes pulling it completely off. His head dips down to your chest, kissing each of your breasts and reaching back up to your lips.

"Mhm--there's just something about taking your work clothes off of you," he says, now hovering just above your face. You laugh and playfully roll your eyes.

Peter stares deeply into your eyes. His eyes fixated on your face makes you a little nervous.

Pete...is there something on my face?" you giggle

"What? No." he responds

"Then why are you staring so hard, dork," you say trying to get him to stop.

"You just looked really pretty then," he started.

"--Not that you don't look beautiful all of the time, it was just right there..." he trailed off.

"Wait," he said pushing himself off of you.

"Pete~~" you whine, seeing him walk out of view to presumably get something.

"Stay in that position," you hear him yell from his bedroom. He shortly returns with his prized film camera.

He holds the camera up and quickly takes a photo.

"Peter, I wasn't ready for that," you continue to whine.

"Yes, you were." he says walking toward you to show you the picture. The picture was actually beautiful. It was you, laying on Peter's couch with your back slightly arched. Your hair messily framed your face and the slight sunset lit one side of your face.

You blush as Peter continues to hold the camera in front of you. This must be how he sees me all the time? you think. The thought lingers in your head for a bit.

"So, you like the picture then? You keep blankly staring at it," he laughs.

"Yes, Peter. I love the picture," you smile.

"...and I love you," he says placing the camera down and looking at you.

Once you had fully processed what he had said, your brain went into panic mode. Peter just told you that for the first time. You sat there with wide eyes and your mouth agape.

"I know we agreed on no 'boyfriend or girlfriend lables' and no 'I love yous' but I felt like saying it and have for a while so I figured I say it. You don't have to say it back or even feel it but I just thought you should know..." he trailed off, turning his eyes to his feet.

You felt your eyes begin to well with tears.

"I'm sorry if I made it awkward, it's just I'm not so used to the whole 'friends with benefits' thing and I really like you. That's why I said you didn't have to say it back. We can keep whatever relationship--or non-relationship we have going on." he continued.

By this point, tears were pouring out of your eyes. Peter finally took the time to focus his attention from the floor back up to you.

"Oh my god, I didn't mean to make you cry. I'm so sorry--ugh please don't cry. Uh-- I didn't mean it!" he says, quickly leaning down to wipe the tears from your cheeks.

"You didn't mean it?!" you say, now almost sobbing.

"No I did mean it, I just don't want you to cry because I said it." he said, his voice wavering. His words felt rushed, apologetic.

"Peter, I'm not crying because you said it!" you say, sitting up and pushing him slightly away from you.

"You're not?" he says, immediately taking a seat right next to you.

Your hands came up to your face to catch the continually falling tears.

"No," you sniffle out.

"Do you secretly hate me?" he said.

"What?! Peter, of course not!" you say slightly raising your voice.

"Then why are you crying?" he says, moving your hands from your face and replacing them with his own.

"I'm leaving," you say, barely above a whisper.

"Huh? Like right now?" he says, his eyes widening.

"No, like New York." you say, avoiding eye contact.

Peter's lip twitches slightly.

"Funny joke." he says. You feel his eyes burning a hole into you.

"I'm not kidding. Mom's been laid off and rent is due in a week. She's already drawing up all the moving papers." you say, averting your eyes at his. Peter sits there in silence.

You continue to stare at him, trying to gauge his reaction.

"This is not how I saw this playing out," he said finally breaking the silence. Your glance softens as you see his lip began to slightly quiver.

"Maybe May and I could help, just for the next few months--"

"Peter, we both know I can't accept your money."

"Yes, you could! I want you to have it."

You shake your head.

"Please--" he whispered out.

The two of you sat there, in silence again.

"Guess what though?" you say reaching your hands up to the sides of his face.

"What?" he says disappointedly.

"...I love you too, Peter Benjamin Parker." Peter's lips bust into a small smile.

"You're gonna be really hard to forget, you know that?"

You lightly gasp.

"Well, I would hope you wouldn't forget me."

"Forgetting feels easier than missing you every day. You sigh. Your body can’t produce anymore tears but your eyes still burn.

“You don’t have to miss me just yet…I’m still here till next Friday… I mean we can still enjoy each other’s company till I leave,” you say, your voice inflecting a more of a question than a statement.

“Yeah, I know.” he says placing his hands over yours.

Peter cocks his eyebrow.

“Are you seriously still trying to fuck after this depressing ass news?”

You laugh, hard. The laugh almost made you forget the pain you were feeling prior.

“Would you kill me if I was?” you say.

“No, it would just leave me with a bunch of unanswered questions and trauma,” he joked.

“What?” you say, giggling.

“I just mean…” he hesitates. He clears his throat so his words come out more serious.

“If you weren’t leaving, would all this still be just fun between us? Like would we just go back to being ‘friends with benefits’?”

You sigh.

“Peter…I knew I would dread this day if it came.”

His kissed his teeth.

“So the answer would be Yes? Got it, in your world apparently ‘friends with benefits’ say I love you to each other.

“Stop, okay!” you begin.

“I never said anything. Peter, I really do love you. I’m in love with you. If I were staying, I’d be attached to you at the hip. Hell, you’d be begging me to leave you alone,” you say. The earns a small chuckle from the man.

“I would like that—or let me rephrase. Would’ve have liked that very much.” he says, pulling your hands away from his face and interlocking them with his.

“Me too.” you say staring at him fondly.

“Who says we can’t make long distance work?”

“Peter we don’t even know where we’re moving to yet—plus…long distance never works. You’re gonna be so busy with school and I’m probably gonna find another job. We’ll eventually grow apart and start resenting each other.”

“Not if you go into it with that attitude. I’m willing to do what it takes.” he says.

You think for a moment.

“I say we try it and if we hate, we call it off. Or I come and see you every break I have. It’s at least worth a shot, right?” he says, his eyes glistening with hope.

Peter has always been an optimist. This quality of his shined even on the darkest days.

“Okay.”

“Yeah? Okay?”

“Mhm.”

“Okay as in we’re doing this whole boyfriend-girlfriend situation?”

“Yes Peter!” you laugh.

“Really? Like for real? he says, confirming one more time.

“Oh my god, Peter you’re my boyfriend.” you say.

His eyes light up. He quickly grabs your face and peppers kisses on your lips and both your cheeks.

“Thank you, thank you, thank you,” he says, in between pecks.

“For what?” you say blushing.

“For…saying you’ll be mine.

He finishes with chaste kiss on your lips.

“Now that we’ve sealed the deal… don’t you think it’s only fair to commemorate this moment?” he says suggestively.

“Now who’s just trying to fuck?” you laugh.

“Hey, you were trying to do it way before we agreed you were my girlfriend,” he stated

“Touché…” you giggle.

“Now, if you’ll let me,” he says, pushing your back onto the couch. His lips joined with yours as he climbed on top of you. Your arms reached around his neck, to once again deepen the kiss. Peter’s hands began to wander your torso before finding their way up to your chest.

“Mhm— take this off baby…please,” he said reaching his hands underneath you to help unclasp your bra. He had gone through this motion so many times before that he could basically do it with one hand. He slowly pryed the piece of fabric off of you, revealing your bare chest.

“God, I will never get tired of seeing these,” he said dipping his head down and kissing the tops of each one. Your fingers found themselves in the back of his hair, tugging; urging him to go lower.

“I know, I know baby. I can smell how wet you are. Just let me appreciate you a little more. Show you, you’re mine.” he let out softly before finally placing his mouth around one of your now sensitive nipples. You gave an airy moan. Peter began alternating between kissing and sucking each one, gaging your reactions to each action. His hands continued wandering as he made his way to the zipper of your jeans. He slowly unzipped them and slid his hand in.

“God, baby your panties are soaked,” he groaned out.

“My pretty girl, you’re so good to me.” he said slightly menacingly.

He continued his work on your chest while slowly lightly rubbing his fingers up and down your clothed slit.

The grip you had on his hair was only tightening as he worked his magic.

With one small ‘pop’ he came up from your chest and kissed your lips.

“I wanna fuck you so good right now that you still remember it when you leave,” he says, looking down at you. You smile, once again bringing your lips up to his.

“Mm— let’s get you out of these too,” he says breathing into the kiss. His hands pull your jeans off from under you, tossing them onto the floor. Your panties and Peter’s towel are quick to follow.

Peter pushes himself down, placing small kisses on down stomach. He stops when he finally reaches your wet heat. He places one last light kiss on it before singling out the tiny bunch of nerves that lay right at the top. His tongue wastes no time moving in ways that make your head spin. Peter takes his time with this. All the sexual encounters you two have shared have usually been rushed and messy. It wasn’t supposed to be pretty. But not tonight, tonight Peter was giving you a show. The lewd noises you were make probably made it sound like you were giving him one too.

He alternated between softly sucking it and rubbing his tongue across it with just the right amount of pressure. His eyes never left yours. His hands, of course, continued the work on your chest that his mouth was once doing. His mouth dropped a little, as his tongue found its way in and out of your opening. You felt a ball form in your stomach. You began clenching every time his mouth found a new pleasurable spot. He knew you were close and was determined to get you there. He dug his head deeper into your heat, maintaining the motions from earlier. The new pressure was enough to send you over the edge. Your legs began to clench around his head, earning a deep moan from him.

“Shit Peter—” you cried as you rode out your orgasm. Peter’s head remained in between your legs as he tried to bring you to another orgasm.

“Ah—s-so sensitive Pete,” you whine out. Your hands tug on his hair. With one long lick, Peter pulls his mouth off of you, leaving a long line of saliva dripping as he pulls up.

“Oh my god, Pete.” you say trying to catch your breath.

“You okay?” he laughs.

You nod.

“I wanna return the favor…” you say trying to push yourself up.

“Later,” he said pushing you back down.

You furrowed your brow.

“It’s not that I don’t want you to, I just wanna take care of you right now.” he says, climbing atop of you again.

You smile, pulling him into another kiss.

“I also don’t know how long I could last if you went down on me right now,” he laughs. He lightly grinds against your leg, most likely to remind you of his still prevalent boner.

“I want you to get off too,” you say softly.

“Yeah?” he smirks. Your hand finds it’s way to his member, slowly stroking it up and down. Peter groans into your ear.

“Fuck baby,”

“Cmon, fuck me Peter…please,”

“Don’t have to ask me twice,” he laughs.

——————————————————————

Heyooo i’ve been gone a minuet but i just started my second year of college and things are getting kinda hectic lmao. Hope this one isn’t that bad, i may write a second part possible with more sexy time. Also if you couldn’t tell i def have a thing for Peter fresh out of the shower lmao. Let me know what you think!! <3 follow for more; requests are open!

[lonelyl00n]

Je T'aime | Yandere! Joy

Summary: When your childhood bully won't let go of you.

Warning: manipulation, abuse of power, controlling relationship, jealousy, mention of killing

wc: 1.5K

This is was inspired by my favorite song Je T'aime by Hey. When I found out that Joy did a cover of that song, I got the creativity to create this. I wanted to get all of this out of my head, so it may feel a bit rushed in some areas.

You were in the library when you felt someone put their hands over your eyes. “Guess Who?”

“Hmmm.” You joked as you tapped your finger on your chin. “Is it…Namjoon?”

Your eyes were uncovered the second you said that. You laughed at Joy’s angry expression. “I told you not to mention him.”

“Sorry, sorry. What brings you here.”

“What do you mean what brings me here? It’s our night out.” Joy gasps.

“I’m sorry Joy, I don’t think I can do it tonight. Namjoon was supposed to be tutoring me, but I’ve been waiting for like thirty minutes.”

“I’m one of the smartest kids in the school. I’m in the Top 10 you know. Why didn’t you ask me?” Joy pouted.

You laughed at her outburst. “First of all, your parents would sue the school if you weren’t in Top 10, so that doesn’t really mean much.”

Joy's father was the CEO of a famous luxury brand, while her mom is a retired actress who was popular in the late 80's and 90's. Her parents had more money than you and your family could ever dream of. Growing up bouncing around from different relative’s basements made a lot of the kids at school growing up, make fun of you.

Especially Joy.

In 4th grade, is when she would begin to make your life a living hell. She would steal your lunch money and give you foods that she knew you were allergic to. She would constantly call you fat and make rude comments about you to her friends.

It got worse in 10th grade, when she made an announcement over the PA system that whoever talked, touched, or even looked at you would get beat up. She bought you and her matching rings at cost more than $1000, and would make you wear it all the time. She bought you clothes, gave you money, and even managed to convince her parents to buy your family an apartment with three bedrooms and a balcony.

 She basically owned you. You weren’t allowed to go out on the weekends because of her security guards guarding your apartment door. When you did try to leave the apartment, which you never succeeded, you would be taken by the guards to the Park Mansion and have to sit on Joy’s lap as you two watched a movie, as punishment.

You hated the power she had, you always did, she even forced you to go to the same college that she was going to, by threatening to hurt your Aunt Irene.

You reluctantly agreed to her ‘idea’, not wanting to hurt your family members that helped your family so much.

So now you followed Joy around the campus like a little puppy, while everyone else thought that you guys were just close friends who liked being near each other.

“And second of all.” you continued. “We are supposed to be working on a project together.”

Joy furrowed her eyebrows while thinking. A project? With a boy?! She thought she had already told all of your professors to not give you any partners at all. Especially a boy.

“I know what your thinking.” Y/N claimed, seeing the looked on Joy’s face. “But we went to London for a whole month, and this was a month-long project. I can’t do it alone.”

“Fine, then I’ll help you.” Joy suggested.

“But Namjoon has to get this grade too.”

“Why do you worry about other people so much, come on let’s just start this.”

You and Joy spent all night, researching, printing, and decorating your poster board. By the time you guys were finished it was 2 a.m.

“Well, that was quicker than I expected. I guess I’ll have to make a new reservation for tomorrow.” Joy sighed. “Let’s go home.” She said as she intertwined your hands and walke out the library.

As part of the deal, Joy had you move into a luxury 2-bedroom apartment that was about an hour away from campus. Joy demanded insisted that you shouldn’t use public transportation anymore because now, with the help of her money, you were worth a lot. Throughout your high school experience, Joy never let you get a driver’s license, so she has the pleasure of driving you to and from campus, always knowing your whereabouts.

You looked out the car window without having anything to do. As punishment for talking to a boy, Joy had taken your phone claiming that the only person you needed to talk to was always right beside you. “What do you want to eat.” She asked you.

“McDonald’s.” You say robotically. McDonald’s was the only fast food place that Joy allowed you to eat. It was the place she found your family at in 10th grade.

It was on a rainy day that your Aunt Irene had kicked you, your parents, and your little brother out of her basement for being a burden, which you didn’t understand because just a week ago your Aunt had said you all staying there was the best thing to happen for her since her illness was starting to worsen.

So, with no where to go and barely any money, your parents took you all to McDonald’s to split one box of 20 piece chicken nuggets, and 4 small drinks for each member of the family.

As you were told by Joy, her family's trailer had broken down on the way back home from the airport, so Joy offered to walk to the nearest building while her parents berated the driver. The nearest place just so happened to be the McDonald’s you and your family were at.

You instantly recognized Joy when she walked through the door, just like how Joy instantly recognized you. She sat a table across from the booth your family was at, and pulled out her phone. Gosh, were you so amazed. You had never had a phone before. Your parents only had one that they shared, and you didn’t have friends (because of Joy’s rules) to let you use theirs. Joy smiled at you awe-filled eyes and continued talking on the phone.

You didn’t even realize that you were staring at her until your mom slapped your wrist and told you to stop. When the phone call ended, Joy stood up and walked towards your table. You looked at the ground, afraid that she too would scold you. “Hello L/N’s. I’m Park Sooyoung.” She started. You heard a gasp in front of you and looked at your parents, who were looking at the entrance doors. A tall man wearing a suit, and a woman carrying a Chanel bag. Walked through the door.

Joy looked back and laughed. “Oh, those are my parents.” They came up to your booth, both shoke hands your parents and stood behind Joy. ”We wanted to give your family a place to stay, would you let us.” You mother, being the biggest fan of Joy’s mother growing up instantly nodded, while your father thought about it for a few seconds before evening his Wife’s beautiful smile. A smile he hadn’t seen since their wedding day. He agreed as well.

That night was significant to you because not only did your family get a place to reside, but it was also the first time that Joy was nice to you. Since that day she started treated you better, still not letting you talk to anyone else, but she was nice.

Although Joy would never tell you this, it was that night that she fell in love with you, completely.

After eating. You and Joy got into the bed that you two shared. Yes there were two bedrooms in your apartment, but you couldn’t sleep in a room by yourself.

You had slept in a room with somebody your whole life, it felt uncomfortable. So on the first week of living here, you asked Joy if you could sleep with her, even okay with sleeping on the ground. Joy let you into her bed, and sang you to sleep.

That became your routine every night after that. However tonight was different, you feel asleep the minute you got into bed. Joy snuck out of the bed and turned you alarm off. You didn’t need to go to school tomorrow, you wouldn’t have time anyways. Her makeup crew that were going to come today were rescheduled to come tomorrow. The day she had been waiting for since that night was going to happen.

 All of you and her family members were going to be at that restaurant and would watch as she would get down on one knee, just like in the romance movies, and propose to you. Just thinking about tomorrow made her heart flutter. Yes, she was furious about the change of plans today, but she would never take it out on you. Instead, she took it out on that Namjoon guy behind the library. Ugh! Just thinking about him getting close to you was sickening. She had her men take care of his body for her.

She kissed your cheek and whispers in your ear, “I love you.”

Everything was set in her plan. She loved you, and you…would have no choice but to love her. You were hers after all. Hers to love.

[lovelyspencers]

Both Sides Like Chanel

“I see both sides like chanel,

see on both sides like chanel.”

Synopsis: Spencer and fem!Reader have been dating for a while now and there is something that Spencer hasn’t trusted anyone else with that he wants to share with her

Content Warning: mentions of drug addiction, allusions to sex, brief mention of internalized homophobia

Word Count: 3.3k

A/N: this is my first fanfiction and I’m not entirely sure how tumblr works yet but it is my mission to do something about the lack of bi!Spencer representation

Compared to his colleagues and friends, Spencer was a fairly private person. He liked to keep things to himself because his life centered around repetitious disappointments. So, he was content that his private life was not set on a stage, his misery displayed for everyone to see.

But then he fell in love with you the minute you walked into the bullpen and bumped into him, leaving your belongings all scattered on the marble floor. Spencer was never one for touch but when he took your hand to sweep you off the ground, butterflies filled his stomach like the air on a humid summer’s day.

After a few years of friendship, his adoration for you grew as easily as ivy on an abandoned house and it was on New Year’s Day that the team celebrated in Rossi’s mansion that his slightly intoxicated self decided that he was not able to hold it in any longer.

You had sneaked off to Rossi’s backyard after Garcia had gotten a bit of too affectionate and randomly started kissing everyone.

Both of you were slightly buzzed, your head laid in his lap as he explained the constellations to you. He wished that the sky above you was the only thing that filled his mind, but when he looked at you with your skin slightly flustered from the alcohol and your lips pursed as in deep thought, all that he could think about was how much he wanted to kiss you.

It wasn’t the first time, the thought floated around in his mind. It had been so crucial in fact that the thought of your lips softly pressed on his played in his head like a film reel every night, unable to give him the sweet escape of sleep.

So, when the blank sky was filled with multicolored fireworks, the moonlight illuminated the complexion of your face and cheers erupted from the silence surrounding you without a second thought, he leaned in to kiss you.

You tasted like champagne and the strawberry lipstick you obsessively put on whenever you got anxious and to Spencer, he felt as if he had found the missing puzzle piece he’d been seeking for all his life.

And then like they always did, his thoughts began rushing through his mind like cars during rush hour and he instantly pulled back.

You were gonna hate him and then he would lose the only person he trusted with all his being and maybe you’d tell Penelope and everyone would laugh at him for believing that someone as amazing as you would ever-

But before his poisonous thoughts got the best of him, you grabbed the sides of his face and connected your lips with his again, filling the entirety of his body with pure bliss.

“I’ve been waiting so long for you to do that.” Your voice vibrated against his lips and he couldn’t help the smile that graced his face in the process.

The two of you could have kissed for only seconds or even hours because as he finally experienced what it felt like to be utterly yours, none of the things surrounding you mattered to him in the slightest.

All that mattered was that his biggest dream of your heart belonging to him entirely finally came true and he had no intention to ever let it go.

But even the most perfect moments couldn’t last forever and in this case, it was disturbed in the figment of the people the two of you considered family.

At first, you both didn't notice the footsteps on the grass, too caught up in trying to pour every stolen glance and hidden adoration in the simplicity of a kiss.

It wasn’t until cheers filled the silence around you that you hesitantly broke apart and were greeted with the sight of the team who all had smirks plastered on their faces.

To his delight, you didn’t entirely pull away from him like he thought you would instead you got off his lap to lazily wrap your arms around his torso. Subconsciously he pressed a kiss to your temple erupting even more amusement from the people watching you.

“About damn time.” Emily was the first to break out of her trance. Soon, congratulations were shared and the team tried to discreetly exchange money since they seemed to have some kind of bet going on. Even Hotch had a rare smile on his face and it was without a doubt the most beautiful start in the new year he could have ever wished for.

“I love you,” you muttered as you hid your face in his chest, and though there was no way the team could have heard what you told him, the smile on his face told them everything they needed to know.

“I love you too.”

He wished more than anything else that your love story could have ended that way and you lived happily ever after but this wasn’t a movie and the truth was that relationships were work. Work he was more than willing to put effort in but work nonetheless.

You loved each other dearly but you weren’t perfect and neither was he. Most of your fights revolved around his fear of vulnerability and even though he spent years building a wall around his heart so no one could ever shatter it again, he loved you far more than his self preservation so he tried his hardest.

And there was one particular thing, he always wanted to tell you or anyone who he felt earned his trust.

Throughout his life, his trust had been broken many times. So without even realizing it, there was a barrier between the two of you that prevented him from loving you to the fullest and he hated it.

But unlike Derek who immediately spread his problems around like it was just some gossip printed on the sixth page or JJ who kept Emily’s well-being to herself despite him coming to cry to her for months, you never betrayed his trust.

Even more so, you didn’t have that look of pity in your eyes that was equally as painful as daggers in his chest when he told you about his drug addiction or the schizophrenia of his mother.

You were easily the person on earth that he trusted the most but that didn’t mean that there weren’t some things that he still kept to himself.

But as he said, he wanted to change that and if one person was deserving of his honesty and vulnerability it was you.

Spencer had told you about his father leaving, the horrors he had to face that still haunted him in his dreams, his kidnapping from Tobias Hankel, and the cruelty of a childhood as a child prodigy.

While what he wanted to tell you wasn’t nearly as heavy it still felt like dead weight continuing to weigh him down.

Every time, he came close to telling you the truth, he got scared like a child in the dark and switched topics to something that didn’t matter at all.

Spencer also knew that you were aware that something was off. Before you started dating ten months ago, you had been best friends for years so he can positively say that you know him better than anybody else.

But today he had a plan.

You had been wanting to watch ‘Love, Simon’ with him for weeks and he had tried to avoid it for obvious reason but today he’d watch it with you and maybe then he’d gain the courage to talk to you.

He was aware of how illogical his fears were, after all, you had always been open about your bisexuality and had seen you beat up homophobes on various occasions (while Hotch hated it, it was on the long list of things that Spencer loved about you).

But he feared that maybe you wouldn’t want to be with someone who liked men and women or maybe that just didn’t fit with the type of man you were looking for or maybe-

Nope, he wasn’t doing this to himself. You were the kindest, most open hearted and loving person he knew and he had told you far more break up worthy thing than his sexuality.

When he had told you about his past drug addiction, you pulled up the sleeves of his shirt and kissed the fainting scars there and helped him get rid of the small stack of Dilaudid that he had kept hidden in his closet without any sign of judgment.

When he had told you about his mother, you pulled his head on your lap and started playing with his hair until the tears on his face dried and pinky promised him that you would stay with him even if he inhabited his mother’s illness because there was nothing that you would ever let drive a wedge between the two of you.

When he had told you about his childhood and confided in you for the relentless bullying he had to endure after you had found an invitation to a high school reunion in his mailbox, you had peppered him with kisses the entire night and showered him with compliments and love.

Not to mention that you convinced him to go to the high school reunion where everyone seemed equally as impressed by the beauty that his girlfriend possessed and the nature of his job. And every time, you sensed that he was uncomfortable you held his hand and wordlessly pulled him away, because you simply understood him like that.

The first night you slept over, he was more anxious over you sleeping next to him than the actual act of having sex with you (which said a lot because in a moment of desperation he had even asked Derek for sex advice) because he knew that the nightmares would jolt him awake again.

But it was so easy to be with you and when he pulled your body into his and showed you just how much he loved you in the most intimate act there was, all worries (and crappy advice that Derek had given him) left his mind and were quickly replaced by pure bliss and escasty.

And when he woke up shaking because some monsters don’t stay hidden in the dark, you were right there to comfort him until he was able to safely fall asleep with your arms wrapped around his waist.

Spencer was jolted back to reality when there was a knock on his door and he immediately wrapped you in a bone crushing hug before pouring all his worries and love into a kiss.

“We literally saw each other at work today. Did you really miss me that much already?” Your laughter that had become Spencer’s favorite sound ever since the first time he heard it filled the room, and he had to fight the urge to drop his plans and just worship you and your body for the entirety of the evening instead.

No, he was a man on a mission and he had repressed this conversation for way too long.

“I always miss you.”

And it was true, embarrassingly so. When you were on a case, Hotch decided against giving the two of you a shared hotel room, and every time, he had to fall asleep without your body heat next to him he felt as if there was some part of himself missing.

You gave him a peck on the cheek before you intertwined your fingers with Spencer’s and lead him to his couch where you rather ungracefully plumped down.

He joined you and your head immediately landed on his lap as a silent invitation for him to play with your hair which he happily obliged to.

“Can we watch ‘Love, Simon’ today?”

“Yes! I’ve only been begging you to watch it for years,” you laughed while grabbing the hand that wasn’t massaging your temple and holding it in yours.

He laughed too but it was filled with anxiety and you heard it because of course you did. Others might no be able to make out when he was uncomfortable but you always knew when to press him and when to leave him alone.

“We don’t have to watch that movie if you really don’t want to, babe,” you said as you propped yourself up to sit next to him again, all while never letting go of his hand.

“It’s not that. I just-”

Well, it’s now or never.

“I’m bisexual,” he blurted out, surprising himself with the sudden statement, and when he hesitantly locked eyes with yours there was none of the judgment or disgust he feared.

There was just love and understanding like there always was.

You were just about to say something before he gave you a look that clearly signaled to just let him talk for a bit and you answered the silent request with a soft smile and a gentle squeeze on his hand.

“I don’t know, I just used to have this crush on a boy when I was younger and I was confused because I only ever saw heterosexual couples, you know?” You nodded and that reassuring smile on your face never seemed to falter even a little bit, you looked almost proud of him.

“And then I got older and I started liking women too and I was even more confused because like who exactly do I like now?”

Sometimes during meetings in the briefing room or on the jet, you randomly held hands and squeezed them three time as a reminder that you loved each other without having to actually say it and that’s what you did during the brief amount of silence.

“When I was in high school liking boys was always associated with something bad so I just assumed that it was bad and tried my hardest to just suppress it.”

Spencer squeezed your hand three times too and took a deep breath. Seemed that even a genius like him could miscalculate and in this case it was the toll this secret had on him.

“But then I got older and realized that there was nothing wrong with being attracted to the same sex, and so I kind of accepted it even though I still had no idea what my sexuality was. It was just one of those I’ll deal with it later type of things.”

When he looked into your eyes again, you looked at him with so much tenderness that he felt as if his heart might burst out of his chest, even if that was biologically impossible.

“I had a boyfriend when I was in college, his name was Ethan and I loved him but it just didn’t work out. I never told anyone because I was afraid I think?”

He remembered the time of sneaking around and lying to his mother when she spotted a hickey on his neck during one of her visits, the frustration because all he wanted was to show the world the love they shared like every other ordinary couple.

But he also remembered the clandestine meetings, muttered I love you’s that were for no one else to hear and the feeling of falling in love for the first time.

“And then I was confused again because I still liked women too and then I met you and I fell in love with you the second I laid eyes on you honestly and then I thought that maybe it was just like a non-sexual thing but I am sexually attracted to you, I mean we have sex. I like having sex with you!”

You chuckled but it was not out of malice or disgust it was just there, floating in the air filling his body with a warmth that not even his thickest sweater could provide.

“Baby, breathe. It’s just me.”

You brought his knuckles up to your mouth to press a kiss to each of them and that simple gesture managed to calm Spencer’s nerve immensely.

“You were so open with your sexuality and I guess it just kind of made sense? And I know that some women have problems with men who like men and maybe you’re disgusted with me because I used to be with a man and I’m like not the manliest man and and sometimes I think about painting my nails because it seems kind of fun and-”

The thing about Spencer’s rambling was that he couldn’t stop. He wanted to especially when he saw the annoyance on everyone’s faces but you were always there to listen to him, even if you had no idea what he was talking about but as you felt his anxiety worsen with every word that left his lips, you interrupted him for the first time ever.

“I’m not disgusted at all. I love and accept everything about you and that includes your sexuality. Thank you for being open with me, I know hard that can be with for you. I’m very proud of you.”

You emphasized your statement by pulling him in for a kiss and that was the first time that Spencer noticed that he was crying, but you kissed him with all the tenderness in the world, wordlessly wiping away the tear that rolled down his cheek.

“You’re the most perfect man I know. I don’t care if you’re not the most manliest man to me you’re perfect and the love of my life,” you whispered against his lips and Spencer could only reply by deepening the kiss and trying to get you as close to him as humanly possible.

There was no rush or expectations, you were kissing as if you had every time in the world and the kiss was a silent promise that you still loved him no matter what.

And for the first time in what felt like ages, Spencer could finally breathe. Silence filled the room but it wasn’t uncomfortable by any means. You had placed Spencer’s head on your chest and played with his hair while occasionally peppering him with kisses, only a few reassurances and I love you’s accompanying the stirring DVD player.

“Did you mean what you said about wanting to paint your nails?” you asked after a few minutes passed and Spencer had wrapped his arms around your waist as if you were the anchor to a sinking ship.

Spencer chuckled not even remembering what he said during his ramble. “I guess so. Why?”

The thought did cross his mind from time to time, especially when he saw your impressive collection of various nail polish. He never cared much about other’s perception of his masculinity and Spencer realized that his fair of not being manly enough for you was nothing but utterly stupid.

“Do you want me to do it?”

He shyly nodded and a smile filled your face as you took his hand to examine it, probably debating in your head which colour would fit him most.

And as you left the room to search for the most beautiful purple you could find, Spencer sat in the living room, happiness spreading through every fiber of his being because for the first time he knew what it felt like to be unconditionally loved.

Both of you weren’t perfect but there were no more secrets left lurking in the shadows and he knew that as long as you wanted him, he’d always be yours.

You were the first person to truly accept and love him. All of him, and he never wanted to lose that.

As he sat in the living room, you sitting on his lap and looked at your fingers as you painted his in a dark shade of purple, he decided that it wouldn’t be long until the most beautiful ring he could find would adorn your ring finger.

[issaxcharlie]

Ghost Of You 2/2

Pairing: Ghost! Luke Patterson x Fem Reader

Summary: Luke, Reggie and Alex have to assimilate their loss. For Luke of his girlfriend, and for the others of their best friend after suddenly learning that she didn’t have the future they imagined, and instead died 23 years ago.

Thank you to @cookiebuba for being the head of the entire idea and trusting me with it, and to Emy for almost holding my hand to force me to write🤣💜

PART 1 HERE

“It can’t be.”

“Luke, I-”

"No, Julie. You are not telling me that the woman of my life, the purest person who has ever stepped on this world, not only lost her partner and her best friends, but was only able to live her life for two more years and then ended in a horrible accident. It's as if life wanted to torture her before taking her too.”

“Love of ?... Zeppelin shirt you wore when you ran away. Of course.”

“I- It can’t be true, please tell me it’s not true, Julie.”

“Luke... she loved you so much.”

He falls on the floor. The impact is strong, as if his legs have stopped working.

"I know." He whispers slowly, his gaze empty as multiple tears fall from his eyes.

The rest of the gang threw themselves to the ground around him and hugged him with all their might, trying to unite his broken pieces without any success. Alex and Reggie each crying silently over the loss of their sweet friend.

“What day did she pass away? Alex whispers.

"Let me search, one moment." Julie gets up quickly and checks on her laptop to find a little note about the singer's death.

"The rising singer Y/N Y/L who had just released the biggest hit of her career passed away this afternoon in a terrible car accident after leaving the cemetery where her late boyfriend, Luke Patterson, was buried. Y/L was there in commemoration of the 2 years of the loss of the aspiring musician, who died from a sudden tragic intoxication along with the rest of his band. Something to rescue from this tragedy is that at least she's already reunited with her eternal love. May both rest in peace.”

“This can’t be. My Y/N can’t be gone. Not her, not like that.” Luke is still in denial, unable to believe that his little girl suffered such a terrible ending.

“Maybe she’s not. There's still a chance that she's also a ghost.”

“Yeah, Julie’s right. We need to look out for her, we can't write her off without trying to find her first.” Reggie's eyes sparkle with hope, rushing to cover Alex's mouth in case he says anything other than motivating.

Luke takes his flannel and disappears immediately. Both Reggie and Alex stare sadly at Julie who simply whispers a "go, he needs you." They nod and teleport to their friend.

As expected, Luke is in front of the window of an old music store. He met his girlfriend here so many years ago, the day his parents agreed to buy him his first guitar.

The store had a small section where customers could try out some instruments and she was playing the guitar they had there and singing for the small audience. It seemed like it was something she did often because both the workers and certain customers seemed familiar with the girl.

Luke was captivated by her from the first moment. The energy and passion that radiated from her in every move was unreal. He had never seen anyone happier, much less singing with a borrowed guitar from a small downtown store.

The store is completely abandoned, so without saying anything he comes in and walks towards the small stage.

The ghosts of two 12-year-old kids singing together into the microphone invades his memory. If they only knew.

"Do you remember what was the first thing she said to you?" Reggie and Alex sit next to him on the floor, looking straight at the very small stage. They both try to imagine what their friends must have looked like singing here together the first time. Luke totally invading little Y/N's presentation trying to captivate her with his 0% music experience and 100% of enthusiasm.

Luke laughs through tears. "You have the voice of a country singer."

Alex starts crying when he imagines her. He met her just a few weeks later so he knows exactly how she must have looked and sound.

Reggie smiles while shedding a tear, remembering all those afternoons Y/N convinced Luke to join them in their country sessions. He knows that's why Luke hasn't wanted to know anything about country or his songs since they got back. They remind him of his sweet girl.

“I was so offended. I still didn't know anything about music but I had already decided that I would be a rocker. If I hadn't already been so dazzled by her I would have left without looking back.”

“And what did you answer to defend your honor?”

"You think so?" The three of them start laughing while still crying. A heartbreaking mix of pain comes from their chests.

“C’mon guys, next stop.”

The three of them were teletransporting around the city during the day without any success. Luke's desperation increasing for every place the songwriter wasn't.

At night the three decide to go back to the studio. Luke is heartbroken, bloated after crying all day, eyes red and sore, and whatever it was that was driving him to continue, off.

His friends couldn't do much for him either because each was living the loss in their own way, concentrating on living their own pain until they could process it.

Julie wraps them in blankets on the couch and tries to fill them with love, making sure to hug Luke tightly, who seems about to fall apart.

“Does anyone want to talk about her? Maybe it could make you feel better.”

“She was my entire soul, the words and melody in each of my songs. I just, I love her more than anything in this world. I would give anything for her. My guitar, my voice, my songs, whatever it took for us to be together. I know it doesn't seem like it at this point, but we belong together.”

“We know you do, man.”

“I didn't tell you but I dream about her almost every night since we got back. It is always the same dream. She is in bed, leaving my side intact. She's wearing one of my shirts and hugging my favorite one while sobbing. She falls asleep listening to the ballad I wrote for her soaked in tears and no matter how hard I try to wake her up, I can't get her to see or hear me. I can’t get her. After a few minutes she gets up still asleep and begins to dance as we did so many times, but alone. Then she stops and starts crying again inconsolably. And that's when I wake up."

"I'm so sorry, Luke. She deserved so much more." Reggie walks over to hug him, his head resting on his arm while he sobs.

“We couldn't even say goodbye to her.” Alex cries, his eyes completely red.

“We already know that she visited your graves, perhaps we could do the same, dedicate a few words to her.” Julie offers in an attempt to help them find some peace.

Luke looks devastated, but he nods his head as tears continue to fall from his face, the ring that his girlfriend gave him going in and out of his finger. Alex hugs Julie while she strokes his hair in an effort to calm him down and Reggie runs up to get a notebook and pencil to start planning what to say to his best friend tomorrow.

The three of them hang around all night, crying, writing, hugging, remembering the spark of Sunset Curve. In the morning before going to visit her, they realize is exactly the 25th anniversary of that tragic night that changed the lives of the four forever. Luke nearly punches a hole in the wall upon hearing the sad coincidence.

Her grave is right next to Luke's, who has never been here before and can't help but feel a bit anxious.

“Don’t worry, I’ll start.” Reggie tells the guitarist as he takes a step forward, a small smile on his lips.

"Hello, princess. Long time, huh? I'm Reggie, by the way. In case you don't recognize me from the slight change in my hair. I am trying a little more gel, I want something more elegant and classic. What do you think? Yes, I also thought you would like it.” Julie and Alex smile at hearing him talk to her as natural as possible.

“I tried very hard to think of what to say, because if there is anyone who deserves my best words, it is you. And three things came to mind that I want to share with you.

First, the color yellow.

Yellow like the guitar you were saving for two years to buy. You did everything. You were a babysitter, you walked dogs, you worked in the school library, you sang with your old acoustic guitar in every cafe, basically everything that will let you win some money.

And the day before you could finally go buy it, my dad broke my bass in a moment of anger in one of his typical fights with mom that got really out of hand. At least he didn’t hurt her, huh? But when you're a kid you don't even think about the possibility that something like that could happen, you just focus on the broken instrument in your hand. I ran out and ended up on the stairs of your house with my face soaked and one of the broken pieces in my hand.

You hugged me and promised that everything would be fine. That I was always going to have you four and that we would always be family. You assured me that good things happen to good people. And I believed you, you know? You were always right. But now that I'm here, that I know you didn't have the happy ending you deserved, I'm honestly not so sure anymore.”

Luke and Alex start crying again, each hugging Reggie from one side. Reg tries with all his might to continue through the tears, while Julie looks at them with a broken heart.

“The next day when I came back from school a new bass was on my bed. You talked to Mom so she could take the credit for the gift, but coincidentally was exactly the bass that I fell in love with a year earlier when we went to check if your beloved yellow guitar hadn't dropped in price. Luke revealed to me a few months later that you had to borrow money from your mom in order to complete the exact money for that one.

How generous do you have to be in order to do something like that? how noble? How loving? How selfless? You were always more than I deserved. I was supposed to be like an older brother for you, but it was always you who took care of me. I have Julie and Carlos, and I'm trying to be with them as you were with me. I had the best step sister in the world to teach me, and I hope I can do you justice.” Julie starts crying too after hearing his words, and resists the urge to going to hug him because she knows that they need their space to let go all the suffering that they carry.

“Second, my leather jacket.

When we started the band we made a 100% commitment to being rockstars. And a very important part is the look. You accompanied me on a walk around the city looking for the right outfit to literally go sing to the people who were lining up in front of the clubs.

Anyone could have left me alone on that for multiple reasons, not even these two wanted to face the trouble. But you followed me without thinking twice.

The afternoon was over and we still haven't found anything. Our feet couldn't take it anymore and we had 10 minutes to run to the club. But we stopped by a little store that had a black leather jacket in the window and you said, Reg, this is it.

You excitedly took me by the hand and when I tried it on, the rest was history.

Then I tried to get the whole band to use them but these two boys without fashion sense didn’t want to. You, on the other hand, supported me and wore your leather jacket during all the Sunset Curve performances we had, convincing me that they were our good luck charms and that if we both used them everything would be amazing. Oh god, I miss you so much.

And third, a star.

I thought you were a star when I heard you sing for the first time.

I thought you were a star when you and Luke managed to write the whole Sunset Curve album in 2 months.

I thought you were a star when you bought me my bass, when you made Alex feel better after one of his strongest attacks, when you filled Luke with love and support when he needed it the most.

And I believe it now that I know you are gone.

If you are in heaven, you have to be a star. And not just a star, the brightest star of all. I promise to look for your light every night to wish you sweet dreams. I will also sing you some country since you were the only one who appreciated my incredible sound, I hope it makes you smile.”

“That was beautiful, Reggie. I’m sure she loved it.” Julie finally reaches out to hug him as Alex prepares to be next.

“Hey. I don’t even know where to start.

I- I guess I should start saying I could never pay you all the times you were there to pick me up when I needed someone the most. I went back to dancing a little again. It's not the same without you, but somehow it makes me feel you close. I also met someone, oh Y/N, he’s so special, I'm sure you would have loved him and I would have loved the opportunity to introduce him to you. You were always there.

You were there to support me when I decided to learn drums to cope with my anxiety. You sang the song I was practicing over and over to keep me company and reassure me that what I was doing sounded good.

You were there to support me when I told you I like to dance. We spent hours choreographing different iconic songs and just laughing and enjoying creating more memories together.

Not shocking at this point but you were also there for me when I confessed to my parents I’m gay and you gave me strength all those times that I wanted to fall because they no longer saw me the same way.

You were always my safe place. And I regret with all my heart that I couldn’t be yours.”

Alex breaks down. She kept them on their feet during her darkest days and they paid her off by causing her the most horrible pain imaginable. Julie and Reggie surround her in their arms while sobbing. The last one of the band standing moves closer to the grave and drops to his knees.

“I’m so sorry, my love. I’m so fucking sorry.” Luke tries to be strong, but tears start falling like waterfalls from his eyes, his face red in a mixture of despair, sadness and anger.

“I will never forgive myself for leaving you alone. Baby, I've been without you for only 1 month and I’m going crazy, even with the boys and Julie by my side. I don't even want to imagine what you must have been through those two years. My soul is shattered just thinking about it.

At first when we returned I imagined you were happy after having fulfilled all our plans with someone else. And I thought nothing could hurt me more than that, but obviously I was wrong. Because although it hurt me that I couldn’t be the one who was with you, thinking that you had been happy gave me the peace to be able to continue. Now that I know that life took away your opportunity, the only thing I feel is anger.

Anger towards me, anger towards destiny. Anger at not being able to be together even after death. Since we discovered where you are, I have only been able to think of cross over and finally be with you again.

Or at least go back to the night before everything turned into a nightmare. Fall asleep with you in my arms one more time.

I swear I even miss your snoring and you biting my cheek after your goodnight kiss, as you would say, in a gesture of love.”

“Hello again, my love.

I can't believe 25 years have passed. First of all, I want you to know that I'm okay. Or well, the equivalent for ghosts that are destined to haunt the earth alone for all eternity. I made a friend for several years, Rose. I told you about her, remember? I know you guys would have been good friends, she was a ridiculously talented musician. Since she died I no longer had the strength to go back to the studio, but for a long time I enjoyed her company in one of my favorite places. She promised to tell you that I'm waiting for you. I will wait whatever time is necessary, okay? I love you so much, baby.

You three are always on my mind, and I think I can finally accept that the pain is just never going to go away. But lately something super strange has happened to me, let me tell you.

Throughout these years, in the darkest days, I see you. But, they were always memories.

A month ago, I started to see you having other kinds of experiences and I honestly don't know how to feel about it. Am I going that crazy? I selfishly hoped that you too were ghosts for so many years. I looked for you 5, 10, 15, 20 years. And just as I decide to give up, my head imagines you all over the city.

The first time I saw you singing Reggie's jam on the beach. You guys looked so happy, love. It filled my heart with peace for a few seconds, knowing that somewhere up there you are enjoying life singing together all day.

Then I saw my beloved Alex with a cute boy. My heart melted, I can’t even explain how much I wanted to run to hug him and gossip about it.

Baby, he looked so peaceful. I always wanted that for Alex. I didn't know whether to be happy or cry because that didn’t actually happen, so I did both.

The penultimate time was a few nights ago when I was walking in front of the Orpheum and I heard your voices. How wicked my mind is, right? A knife to the heart would hurt less.

And now, I can't even get close to your grave because I'm imagining you all again.”

Y/N doesn't know what to do, if she gets close enough will they disappear? What If they don’t? Will she bear to see them up close? She has been dancing with their ghosts in her dreams for so many years, but It’s not the same as doing it when she is fully awake.

She is about to run out of there in fear when the silhouette of a fourth person catches her attention. She doesn't know why, but it immediately reminds her of Rose. Could it be that she is imagining her friend too?

Curiosity is stronger than fear, like all those times when she got into trouble with her boys. She walks carefully towards her grave which is next to her beloved Luke.

“I swear I even miss your snoring and you biting my cheek after your goodnight kiss as you would say, in a gesture of love.”

“I don't freaking snore, I told you a million times already... and now I'm talking with my imagination, great.”

The band turns in shock towards the fifth voice. That's when she can see the girl's face and realize who she is.

“Julie? But, how?”

“Y/N?” Alex whispers on the verge of passing out.

She starts to panic, just before the boys can do something about it, a new person appears behind her.

“Hey, you took a long time." She turns around and jumps into the arms of who has become her only friend in recent years.

“Phoenix, thank god.” Her body continues to shake but she clings tightly to her friend while crying uncontrollably.

To say the ghosts are confused would be an understatement. And apart from that, the guitarist is having many conflicts with the jealousy that he is feeling at the moment. They haven't seen each other in 25 years and when they finally do, she runs into someone else's arms and clings to him like her life depends on it.

What does that mean for them? Is it too late?

“Beautiful, what's wrong? Who are they? Oh, wait. You guys were at the club a few weeks ago, you're friends with Willie, right?”

Luke feels like dying all over again hearing him call her that. She continues to shake but finally lets go.

“What? You can see them?”

“Shouldn’t I?” He looks at her skeptical and shifts his eyes from her to the ghosts.

“I- Oh my god. I'm going to pass out.“

“Baby, look at me.” Luke’s voice is a mix between a plea and a demand. The terror of knowing that perhaps he has already lost her without having had the opportunity to fight for her clouds his judgment and tears begin to fall from his face again.

25 years. 25 years fighting not to forget his voice. 25 years having him only in dreams, in memories, in melodies. 25 years waiting for him. 25 years on her own.

She turns slowly to meet those honey-green eyes she craved for so long to see, a painful smile from Luke makes her smile through tears.

She carefully lifts her right hand and gently draws it to his cheek, almost exploding at the feel of it.

“You came back. Oh my, It’s really you.” She jumps to the guitarist, entwining her legs at his hips, her arms tangled with all her strength around him, her head buried in his neck inhaling his scent. Tears coming out as if to drown her, all the pain and suffering that she faced all these years finally leaving her body.

Luke wraps her tightly in his arms, still unable to process what’s happening.

Alex and Reggie begin to smile without fully assimilating what is happening, while Julie begins to jump of joy.

“Babygirl, I'm sorry to ruin the moment but I have to rush to the club. Will you be okay here?"

“She's always safe with me." The guitarist growls, and Y/N starts laughing when she hears it.

"The jealous, protective baby in the beanie is right, don't worry Nix. I’ll go and find you later."

Phoenix nods with a smile and disappears. Julie begins to scold Luke while Reggie and Alex approach to touch the cheek of their best friend, still in the arms of the guitarist who does not seem to have any intention of letting go.

“We should go home to catch up. Reggie and I will accompany Julie, it seems that you two should speak alone first." Luke doesn't think twice and disappears with her in his arms.

“Good things happen to good people.” Reggie whispers as he hugs his friends and they start walking home.

Luke and Y/N reappear in the studio and they are both shocked for a few seconds. The girl trembles again in fear of dreaming.

“Hey, come here baby. Shh, I’m here, I promise.”

“Don’t leave me ever again, please.” He can see that it is very difficult for her to understand that is really happening, and to think that she lived without him not 2 but 25 years makes him want to cry again.

“I won’t. I promise, beautiful. Never again.” Luke wraps her in his arms, but she lifts her head from his chest to push her lips against his. The kiss is urgent, but they both instantly recognize each other and fit in perfectly. Luke picks her up again and gently lays her down on the couch, both desperate to feel the other, to recognize every inch.

“I missed you so much baby, I love you more than anything.” Luke whispers between kisses, not willing to have her an inch away from him.

“I love you my love. I love you, I love you, I love you.” She says while kissing the love of her life, happy for the first time in 25 years.

Before things get to escalate, the rest of the band shows up in the studio followed by Julie who clearly walks through the door.

"Let go of her man, it's our turn!" Y/N gets up quickly from the sofa while her boyfriend complains and she throws herself at both of them who pick her up as best they can and spin her in the air.

They put her down and Julie and her stare each other, both raise their arms and meet in a quick but sweet hug.

“You said my name back there, how?” The question that she has stuck since she met her finally coming to light.

“I met your mom many years ago when I came to visit the studio and realized that she could see me. We were friends for many years and I had the opportunity to see you grow up, but I always made sure to be upstairs when you came in in case you could see me too.”

“Well, now I understand how Carlos felt when he found out that we lived with ghosts. And It sounds like mom watches over us both from heaven.”

“Yeah, I’m sure she does.” Both girls smile and hug each other once more.

“I can't believe I endured 25 years without having those beautiful arms around me.” She whispers as they both lie on the couch, Luke has her completely cornered in his arms.

“I’m so sorry, baby. It breaks my heart that you have suffered that much for so many years.”

“It was not your fault. You lost as much as I did that night. Besides, I always knew that you would find me sooner or later. We belong together.”

“We do. I, I k-know we have way more to talk about but, who was the dude from the cementery?”

The insecurity in his voice is evident and Y/N can't help but smile. His emotions are complex, real, and nothing can make her happier than that.

“I’ll tell you all about my friend later, okay? For now... dance with me? I want to dance with the real deal.” He smiles and they both stand up, hugging each other as they slowly move through the studio as they did many times before life separated them.

The Luke in her arms is her Luke, the same one she has been waiting for so many years, finally back in her arms. And just as she thought when she lived, she will dance with his ghost for all eternity.

Thank you for reading✨✨

Taglist: @writerinlearning, @ghostofmgg @strangerthanfanfiction713, @thebloodthirstyvampress, @kinda-really-lost, @kcd15, @magnet-girl, @aliandthephantoms, @stxrkspidey, @pinkrockstar19, @s0uz4s, @shycupcakealissa @cookiebuba, @fangirlangioma, @sageellsworth05, @twist3dtinkerbell, @sunsetcurvenotsunsetswerve, @caitsymichelle13, @ifilwtmfc, @luckylouiebug, @bibliophilewednesday, @totomoshi, @siennanoelle01, @lunashadow6955, @bookfrog247, @morganayennefertyrell, @kiss-themoongoodbye, @rachelle3musicals, @imsydneywalker, @really-dont-forget-it @agentstarkid @talksoprettyjjx @kaitieskidmore1 @lukeys-giggle @katie-navarro @crybabyddl @cocopuffs0211 @marvel-ousnesss @blackhood5sos @tessxblxckthorn

Goy tags: @eternalharry @xplrreylo

[toomanystoriessolittletime]

mix up

Summary: A mix up with the buildings laundry was all it took to get what you always secretly wanted.

Pairing: Javier Peña x OFC (can be read as reader insert)

Wordcount: 4k+

Warnings: lots of cursing, smut (Oral; female receiving; sex), sex toys, also fluff, bad flirting as ususal

A/N: In my mind, this was a drabble. Apparently my brain had other ideas. The biggest thank you to @f0rever15elf​ for being my beta on this <3

Masterlist

Taglist in reblog

Pushing the laundry bin with your dirty laundry out of your apartment, you checked if you had  everything before you locked the door of your apartment behind you. It was laundry day. Thankfully the apartment in Bogata came with a laundry service. Not that you were not able to do your own laundry, you simply didn’t have time for it. The last thing on your mind while chasing down Escobar was doing your laundry. The job took every single second of your life, even in the few times you were off from work, even in your sleep. Walking down the long hallway, the last door you passed was Javier’s. You heard him curse something in spanish before the door opened and a similar laundry bin was placed in front of his door. You tilted your head as you looked at him, crossing your arms in front of your chest, a little grin on your lips.

“What?” He asked looking down at himself. 

“Nothing.” You hummed. “I love that color on you.” You winked before you walked out.

“Fuck you too.” He chuckled as he followed you.

“What? I do love it. As a matter of fact I own some pink stuff I wear occasionally.” You unlocked the car and he jumped into the passenger's seat.

Javier and you were co-workers. He had joined you in the hunt for Escobar only shortly after you arrived here from DC. You would say you even became friends. As possible as it was to become friends with him. There were only a handful of people who knew the lengths you had to go through at this job. Of course, he had tried to get into your pants first but the both of you decided it would be for the better to keep this strictly non physical. At least that’s what you told yourself. 

Though secretly you felt yourself wishing it was you on the receiving end of his “affection” as you lay in bed alone at night, while he was fucking some prostitute on the other side of the building.

“I’ve never seen you wearing anything pink, Guapa.” He pushed his yellow aviators up as he reached for the pack of cigarettes. You started the engine and looked at him.

“Oh Javier… There are many things you haven’t seen me wear.” You winked. You could see when the penny dropped and he shook his head, with a small grin. 

“Fuck. I didn’t even have my coffee yet and you put pictures of you in underwear inside my head?”

“I never said it was my underwear. But… That’s payback for making me listen to the moaning from your apartment last night.” You finally got the car on the road.

“Jealous?” He asked, holding his cigarette by the window. You mentioned once that you weren’t a big fan of smoke but didn’t mind it. He had made the effort to turn himself away from you from that day on when he smoked.

“More curious.” You said honestly.

“How so?” You stopped at a red light, turning your head to look at him. 

“We both know you are paying most of those women, so how real is their… valuation with you if you know what I mean?” You were genuinely curious. You had two relationships before and both of them didn’t really care for your pleasure. You had been responsible for your own orgasms all your life and you were wondering…

“Oh they aren’t acting Guapa. I know what I’m doing.” He winked at you and threw his cigarette out.

“Every man says that.” You shrugged, rolling your eyes.

“Well… You’ll have to trust my word. The only way you could be sure was if I showed you, and we both agreed that nothing will ever happen between us, right?” He asked. You nodded and looked away from him, starting the car again, when the light switched to green. You didn’t notice him looking at you as you continued to drive.

“If we wouldn’t be working together, would you?” He asked as you parked the car in front of the embassy and killed the engine. The car ride had been silent since the red light.

“Would I what?” You asked pulling your purse out from the backseat.

“Let me show you that I definitely know what I’m doing?” He asked, his voice deeper as he looked into your eyes. You looked back into his and wondered if anyone had ever noticed the small caramel like spot in this right eye.

“I guess that’s another thing you will never find out, Peña.” You had a small smile on your lips, hoping to cover up your nervousness. He looked at you knowingly before he let his tongue dart out to wet his lips. You swallowed, your eyes flying to his lips before you looked up and he bit his lip.

“Shame,” he whispered before he opened the car door and got out of the car. You closed your eyes, ignoring the throbbing between your legs as you watched him go into the building.

“Fucking hell,” you muttered, shaking your head to follow him inside.

Weeks went by without either of you mentioning the conversation between you. At some point, you thought you imagined the whole thing. You continued to work together. You both took care of Steve when Connie left to go back to the states unannounced. You couldn’t blame her. You’ve been wondering yourself if what you were doing would end in catching Escobar in the end. 

Javi and you were a pretty damn good team at work. He always had your back which was a gift you truly cherished. When you had first met him and Steve, you would have bet a lot of money that they would be just like the other assholes you had worked with before. But they weren’t. Of course Javier continued to flirt with you. That’s just who he was. But he also did acknowledge your intelligence and knew when he had to shut up and actually listen. You grew so comfortable with each other that just one look from the other would tell if it was a good day, or a bad day. 

Today had been a bad day for you. 

Not only was the lead you had chased the day before a dead end, but you just felt exhausted. Like the last weeks of working constantly came crashing down at you all at once. So you called in sick. For the first time… ever. You ignored that one of the reasons you felt so shitty was the fact that Steve and Javier had been gone for 3 days now. 

A knock on your door made you groan but you made your way to open up anyway, thanking the lady with your clean laundry with a smile before you closed the door and brought it into your bedroom. Deciding to put the clothes away right now instead of letting them stay on your bed as you usually did, you frowned when you saw a very pink shirt on the bottom. You let your fingers run over the fabric. It was Javi’s shirt. The one you teased him about.

Biting your lip, you looked down at it. You should give it back to him. You knew that. But he would be gone for at least another two days and you felt lonely. You opened the buttons, pulling the shirt you were wearing off and got his shirt on. You looked at yourself in the mirror. You had never worn a shirt of a man before, and when you pictured it before you weren’t thinking about a pink shirt, or Javi’s, but somehow you liked the way it looked on you. Smiling to yourself you pulled the fabric closer and you could swear you smelled his aftershave even though it was freshly cleaned. You did spend more time than you would ever admit to anyone thinking about him. The way he walked. The way he ran his hands through his hair when he was frustrated. How you could see his chest hair when he was wearing his poorly buttoned shirts. Closing your eyes you shook your head.

Coworker. He was your Coworker. 

Your very attractive Coworker who you caught undressing you with his own eyes more than once. In the quiet of your apartment you often dreamed what it would be like. Him touching you. You knew he could have anyone, yet he chose to pay for sex. He didn’t seem like he was looking to have any relationship, and you couldn’t blame him. But what if he chose you? What if he wasn’t your Coworker? What if he was just Javi? Your neighbor. What if you weren’t in Colombia chasing down drug lords? 

You pictured him coming home to you and taking you on the kitchen table. Would he go down on you? You bet he would. He seemed like he enjoyed pleasuring his woman. His woman. You wanted to be his woman. Even though you knew he wasn’t looking for someone. He told you before on a very drunken night out that he sucked at relationships. He just needed someone to make him forget, someone…

A knock on your door interrupted your thoughts again. Looking at yourself you considered answering whoever was at the door dressed in this shirt but decided against it and put on your bathrobe. There was another knock at your door.

“One second!” You called pulling the bathrobe closer around your body as you unlocked your door.

“Javi?” You asked, surprised. “I thought you’d be back on Saturday.” You pulled the bathrobe around you closer, suddenly feeling too naked to be standing in front of him, even though your whole body was covered.

“You’re okay. Thank.. Fuck. You’re okay.” He sighed relieved looking at you.

“Why wouldn’t I be okay?” You frowned, a little confused. 

“I went to the embassy and no one knew where you were and…” He closed his eyes.

“I called in sick. I’m okay. I promise.” You said quietly. He ran his hand over his mouth, his other hand on his hip as he looked at you, his eyes tired.

“Are you okay Javier?” You asked a little confused at him just showing up like that. “Why are you back already?”

“Dead end. Didn’t see the point of staying there.” He shrugged.

“Okay. Then you should go to..”

“What are you wearing there?” he asked and nodded towards you.

“Uhm…” You looked down at yourself and tried to hide your surprise at seeing a bit of the pink shirt out. You looked up at him again, and you could see his grin.

“Is that pink I see?” His grin got wider. You sucked your bottom lip in.

“I told you I wear pink. Occasionally.” You shrugged. He nodded and continued to look at you before he stepped a little closer. You could see in his eyes that he was trying to work out what was going on and you noticed the moment he made the connection. His eyes darkened and you cursed yourself for not changing out of his shirt before you answered the door. 

“Is that… my shirt?” He whispered deeply. A shudder ran over your body. His hand came up, reaching for the collar that you apparently hadn’t tucked in as well as you thought you had. His finger brushed over your throat as his other hand slowly opened your bathrobe. One of your hands held your shirt together that you didn’t bother to button up. You shouldn’t have put it on in the first place. 

“Fuck, you’re wearing my shirt,” he cursed. You looked up at him, breathing deeply. You weren’t wearing anything but some panties beneath it. He looked down your body before he looked up at you again, his hand running up your neck to the back of your head.

You should take a step back, turn around and get away from him. Cause the way he was looking at you made your knees weak. 

“Javi, I can explain…” You mumbled, but he only shook his head slowly. The look he gave you made your poor explanation die on your lips.

“Tell me to stop,” he whispered as he stepped even closer. You felt the coldness of his leather jacket as he pushed your bathrobe from your shoulders and you shivered.

“Close the door, Javier,” you whispered. He looked at you, taking you in before he turned around and closed and locked the door. Pulling off his leather jacket he let it fall to the floor as he stalked towards you.

“I will never be able to get this picture out of my head.” He said as he walked you backwards until your back hit a wall behind you.

“You… You don’t have to get this picture out of your head.” You whispered.

“No?” He asked. One of his hands coming down on your hip as his other hand brushed some of your hair away that had fallen in your face. You shook your head at him.

“If you want to see me in your shirts, make sure to leave them with me after…” You bit your lip.

“After?” He leaned down and you felt his breath on your face.

“After you’ve fucked me.” You whispered and sighed when his lips crashed down on yours. You grabbed onto his back, pulling him closer as he licked into your mouth. Parting your lips without resistance you moaned when you felt one of his hands slip down your back.

“Been dreaming about this for years.” He groaned against your lips as he kissed down your neck, pushing the shirt you were still wearing open and you saw his little smile when he saw your boobs.

“Me too.” You whimpered as his teeth scratched over your neck. 

“Tell me.” He whispered, softly sucking on your pulse point on your neck before he kissed down your collarbone.

“Wanted you to feel against me. Wanted to… Ahh..” You cried out when his lips closed around one of your nipples.

“Tell me.” He groaned and looked up at you, not releasing the bud and sucked. You wouldn’t be able to continue to stand on your own feet if he kept that up.

“Wanted to taste you. Wanted you to taste me. Wanted you to…”

“Fuck you?” He asked, releasing your nipple with an obscene sound. You just nodded.

“Been wondering if you taste as good as you smell.” He whispered and kissed down your stomach.

“May I?” He knelt in front of you, his dark eyes wild as he looked up at you. You hesitated.

“I… No one ever….” You sucked your bottom lip in, shy all of the sudden. He seemed to understand immediately, cursing under his breath.

“You should be worshipped. Fucking losers. All of them.” He shook his head and got up from the ground.

“Will you let me?” He asked softly. There was nothing but affection in his eyes and you felt yourself nodding. You shrieked when he picked you up in his arms, moaning when he kissed you as he carried you to your bedroom. Carefully he set you down and you looked up at him. You wondered what this would change between you. Because you wouldn’t be able to go back to being just friends after this. 

“You’re not just a fuck, hermosa.” He seemed to answer your thoughts. 

“Let me feel you.” You said as you got up to stand in front of him. He didn’t stop you as you pulled his shirt out of his jeans and began to unbutton it, kissing his chest before you pulled it off. He groaned as you teased his nipple.

“Lay down on your back and let me take care of you.” He kissed you quickly and you complied, wanting to take the pink shirt off when he stopped you.

“No. Keep that on.” He smirked and you giggled.

“Whatever you want,” you hummed.

“Be careful what you wish for.” He said quietly as he looked down at you. A shiver ran over your body at the look he gave you and you could feel just how wet you were.

“What if I like playing with danger?” you asked. He furrowed his eyebrows before his hands opened the fly of his jeans. You swallowed, your eyes not leaving his as he pushed his jeans down. It was like he was challenging you to look and when you did you released a breath you couldn’t remember holding in. Of course he wasn’t wearing anything beneath his tight jeans.

When he was standing completely naked in front of you, he leaned down to slowly peel your embarrassingly damp panties down. He kissed up your leg, his mustache rubbing over the skin and you giggled when he kissed the skin behind your knees.

“Someone’s ticklish.” He mumbled against your skin.

“Maybe.” You smiled. He kissed up your inner thigh and unintentionally you wanted to close your legs but he didn’t let you.

“Let me look at you hermosa,” he whispered, looking up at you. You were only able to nod slowly. 

“If this is how I die I won't complain.” He murmured before his tongue darted out to taste you. You wanted to look at him but the way he nibbled, licked, and sucked made you throw your head back, moaning loudly. You grabbed the bedsheets, trying to ground yourself as he sucked at you clit.

“So fucking good,” he groaned against you and you cried out. 

“Fuck, keep going…,” you moaned. One of his hands on your stomach held you down while his other hand grabbed one of your boobs, kneading them, pulling at your nipple.

“Cum for me baby.” He whispered, his tongue dipping inside of you.

“Fuck….” You arched your back, heat rushing through your body as you almost blacked out when your orgasm washed over you.

This was unlike anything you ever felt before. You were so out of it you didn’t notice Javi stopped until his mouth was on your neck before he made you look at him. You felt his cock between your legs and you shakily breathed out, a blissful smile on your face as he leaned down to kiss you softly. You didn’t know nor did you care how long he kissed you, you just knew you never wanted to stop.

“You did enjoy that, right?” He asked and you punched against his chest, making him laugh.

“You’re awfully full of yourself, Agent Peña.” You shook your head and he cocked an eyebrow. 

“What if I want you to be awfully full of myself?” He smirked.

“You did not just say that.” You snorted, shaking with  laughter beneath him.

“Sorry,” he laughed with you, looking down at you.

“No you’re not.” You grinned and he chuckled. 

“Do you though?” He asked, quieter now as his laughter subsided. You arched your eyebrow in question. “Want me to fuck you?” He kissed down your jaw, as he rolled his hips against yours.

“Is me naked beneath you not clue enough? I thought you knew that you were a good Agent and knew what you’re doing...” You teased, your hands wandering down his back, pulling him against you. He bit into your shoulder and you moaned.

“Oh I’m gonna show you that I know exactly…” He kissed you. You groaned as you felt the tip of his cock at your entrance. “How to make you cum.”

“Condoms... “ You gestured to your bedside drawer. He nodded, disappearing from your point of view before he was back, a dirty grin on his face.

“This is gonna be fun.” He whispered, holding a condom and your vibrator up. You blushed looking away from him.

“No need to be shy, hermosa.” He ripped the condom package open and pulled it over his hard cock. You felt his hand between your legs and you looked up at him, before two of his fingers entered you, his eyes never leaving yours.

“So If nobody ever made you cum by going down at you…” He kept fingering you slowly, adding another finger and you moaned quietly, feeling so full already.

“Did anyone ever make you cum?” He asked, his thumb slowly circling your clit and you were about to cum again when he stopped. You pouted.

“Huh?” He asked. 

“Yes Javi. I made myself cum.” You groaned and he shook his head.

“Not anymore.” He hummed before you slowly felt himself push into you. You stopped breathing, looking up at him, embracing the delicious burn you felt as he split you in half. The sounds he was making would haunt you in the best way possible.

“So fucking tight,” he groaned and you released a breath when he was fully inside of you. He stilled, probably wanting you to get used to the stretch but all you wanted was..

“Move. Javi.” You pleaded and that was all he needed to hear.

“Feels better than I imagined.” He pressed, slowly fucking into you. He put your legs around his waist as he leaned down to kiss you. Holding him close, you let him fuck you, rolling your hips to meet his thrusts. Never in your life did you feel that full. He kissed every piece of skin his lips came in contact with and you grabbed onto his back, surely leaving marks as he moved faster. 

“Please…,” you moaned.

“Please what Hermosa?” he rasped, sucking on your shoulder.

“Harder.” You whimpered.

“You want it harder my needy girl?” he asked. You were only able to nod as he pushed away from you, pulling your legs over his shoulders. He held on to your legs before he began to ram into you.

“You want it harder. You get it harder. You get everything you fucking want.” He groaned.

“Fuck yes.” You moaned, holding onto the mattress beneath you. Closing your eyes you just let him do whatever the fuck he wanted. Never in your life had you been fucked like that. The familiar buzzing of your toy let you snap your attention back to the man curently fucking the life out of you and you almost jumped when the vibe made contact with your clit.

“Shit…,” you cried out, surprised when your orgasm washed over you within seconds.

“Fuck fuck….” Javie groaned, fucking you through your orgasm, throwing the vibe away.

“Can you give me one more?” He asked. You shook your head, still trying to breath properly, when he pulled out of you and turned you so you were straddling him.

“Ride me baby.” He smiled up at you. You leaned down, kissing him longingly before you carefully sat down on his cock.

“You’re so fucking beautiful,” he said in awe, looking up at you as you slowly rolled your hips, still oversensensetive from your orgasm. Both of his hands sneaked under his shirt you were still wearing, massaging your boobs.

“You gonna give me one more, hermosa?” He moaned quietly, pushing himself up, his arms coming around you, his chest against you as he moved his hips against yours.

“Javi…” You whimpered, holding on to his shoulders.

“Tell me what you need…” 

“Kiss me,” you whispered. His lips were on you in the next moment and you shook as you felt your third orgasm approaching.

“Cum for me, Javi,” you whispered, clenching your walls, one of your hands pulling at his hair. He moaned against your chest as you felt him swell before he twitched and that was all it took for you to cum again. 

Out of breath you held on to each other, your head on top of his, his lips still attached to your boob.

“We should have done this sooner,” he chuckled and you smiled as you looked at him.

“We should have,” you agreed. You felt him soften inside of you but not you nor him were ready to let go of one another. You kissed him softly.

“We could do this again, you know?” You said carefully. You knew you wouldn’t be able to share him with anyone, he had to know. He looked at you.“But I’m not sharing what’s mine,” you added. 

“Yours, huh?” He asked, a little smile on his face. You nodded.

“I like the sound of that.” He said before he kissed you deeply. 

[thetaleoflevi]

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Company

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Pairing: Levi x Reader

Content Type: SFW, Modern AU, Fluff

TW: Mentions sex for a split second, smoking, heartbreak, mentions death

Description: Reader gets stood up and gets a ride home from her waiter, Levi.

Word Count: 3.4k

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There you sat in that booth. Alone, starving both socially and physically. You were at a restaurant waiting to meet the man of your dreams. You met him on a dating app and the chemistry was too good to be true. He was charming and funny. He comforted you and brought peace to your mind about your biggest insecurities. His personality checked every single one of your boxes for what you described as a “perfect man.”

One thing you failed to remember was his inability to make time for you. He always said he would call you at a certain time and you believed him every. single. time. You waited hours just so that he wouldn’t. He didn’t even text you an excuse for why he had left you hanging.

Why you believed him this time was beyond you. You were waiting for him like you always were. It’s been two hours already. It’s ten o’clock and you are alone, sipping tap water through a skinny black straw. “Ma’am, I’m here to let you know that we close at ten thirty. Are you sure you don’t want to order anything? Not even to-go?” The male waiter looked at you with sympathetic eyes. His name tag read ‘Levi’ in uppercase letters.

You sighed disappointedly and stood up, plopping the napkin that rested on your lap the entire time onto the table. “No, I’m okay. Thank you for all the water refills. This is for you.” You gave him a thirty dollar tip, which you thought was bizarre until you remembered that this was a high-end establishment and people usually tipped amounts in the hundreds. “Thank you, Miss. Have a good night.” He put the money in his apron. “You as well.” You replied squeezing out of the booth and exiting through the large, bulky-knobbed doors.

You were starting to regret wearing such a dress out in public. It was a long burgundy dress that hugged the curves of your body, with straps that hung off your shoulders. Your decision to ditch your jacket was not appreciated with the cold breeze that whistled through the night. The open area on your back had goosebumps that spread to your entire body when you sat down on some steps and leaned on a wall covered in cold, blue square tiles just outside the restaurant.

You were unsure if you should walk home or call a taxi. Both seemed unsafe with the apparel you were sporting. ‘I think i’ll wait here for a little,’ you thought to yourself. You looked down at your phone to see a message from your supposed date. “Sorry. I had to work a little later today. Raincheck?” You scoffed and blocked his number as fast you could. Later you would stupidly regret it when you felt lonely, but for now that was the best choice you could’ve made.

You hugged yourself as the ruthless breeze continued to mock your sleeveless arms. Suddenly a door to your right opened, and out came the waiter who attended you. He was holding a take-out box and the black apron that was tied around his waist before now hung on his forearm. He looked down and flinched in surprise when he saw you sitting on the stairs against the wall.

“Miss, what are you still doing here?” He questioned leaning down to talk to you at eye level. “Don’t ask me that question. I’m too embarrassed to answer.” You closed your eyes for a second and the second after you opened them he was seated next to you. “Cigarette?” He extended an open box towards you. “Don’t you know those things are deadly?” You asked, discreetly voicing your pass on the offer.

“You’re right about that…” He confirmed, pulling one out and stuffing the box into his pants pocket. He put it between his lips and lit it, inhaling for a few seconds before slowly exhaling. A medium sized cloud of smoke left his lips. “…but we’re all going to die someday. We can’t be afraid of the inevitable.” You nod in agreement. “You’re right about that.” You say, returning his line.

Your whole body shivers when the wind strikes your bare arms again. The man next to you notices and looks at you with slightly widened eyes. “I’m so sorry, you must be freezing. Let me get you a jacket-“ “No, no. I’m alright, really.” You interrupted, waving your hands in front of you. “I’m going to get you a jacket. Please, wait here. My car is right across the street. I’ll be back in an instant.” He put out his cigarette and stood up. “Levi, I’m okay.” You say calmly, grabbing onto his arm before he could leave. When he stopped, you slowly retracted your arm.

“I like you. You pay attention to detail. Most people would have ignored my name tag.” He gave you a soft smile. He must have been new to smoking because his teeth still looked nice and he didn’t sound like an eighty-year-old man. “What’s your name?” You stood up so that you could talk to him without having to tilt your head up so harshly. “Y/N.” He nodded in acknowledgement. “Pretty name. So listen, Y/N. I don’t want you to freeze out here. You can’t walk by yourself or take a taxi home this late at night. If I let you do either of those things, I would feel responsible for any horrible thing that could happen. Please—and I’m asking in the most respectful way I can—let me take you home.”

He cringed at himself when he saw how you laughed at the way he phrased his question. “That still sounded bad, huh?” “Yep.” You responded with another chuckle. “Well, you get what I mean. Let me drive you to your house.” You rolled your eyes in defeat. “Fine.” “Great.” “Awesome.” “Spectacular.” “Stupendous.” You were both bickering like children before you finally made it to his car.

“How does a woman like you get stood up on a date?” Levi asked curiously, shaking his head in disbelief. “What makes you think I got stood up?” You say in a playfully defensive manner. He gave you the ‘i’ve-seen-it-happen-like-a-billion-times’ look for a second. “Yeah, I got stood up.” You admitted sheepishly. “Tell me about it. The guy must really be somebody to let you down like this. If I were him, I’d be begging for your forgiveness for hours.” You turned to look at his wide-eyed expression. A slight tint of pink was visible on his cheeks with thanks to the moonlight.

“I-I mean, I wouldn’t do it for hours, but I would definitely beg for your forgiveness.” He facepalmed at his forwardness. “Just tell me about this guy before I pull over and let you drive yourself home.” Levi’s flustered state was the cutest thing you had ever seen.

“Okay, just don’t make fun of his name. Even if he deserves it.” You muttered the last part. “His name is _____. He-” Before you could continue introducing _____ to Levi, Levi had burst into a snickering fit. He was trying so hard not to laugh, trying to remain respectful while you told your story.

“Rude! Anyway,” you continued,“Apart from his name, this man would have been what you would describe as a soulmate, if it weren’t for his awful routine of letting me down when he promised he wouldn’t. He’s funny, he’s handsome, and he was SO good at comforting me. That all goes to waste when you can’t make time for someone. That’s how he went to waste.” The car went silent for a few seconds.

“I know how that feels. Something similar happened to me a few years ago. There was this girl I was crazy about. She was so beautiful and elegant in everything she did. She was a complete opposite to me. We were supposed to get married one winter, but she called it off a few days before the wedding—something about her mom being really sick.” He looked ahead at the road with a look as if he still resented her after all these years.

“It wasn’t until I saw a post— a picture of her and her family in a cabin in the woods. Her mom was alive and well and her new man was doing just fine. The part that left a scar on my heart wasn’t even the fact that she left me for another man days before our wedding. I could’ve dealt with that if she had told me that she had fallen out of love with me and wasn’t going to marry me. But the part that left a scar on my heart is that lie. It had me wondering what other lies there were hidden in our relationship.” Once again the car went dead silent.

“We’re here.” Levi said as he put his car in park. “Thank you for bringing me home, Levi. I don’t know how to repay you. I gave you all the money I had in cash.” Levi chuckled at this. “You don’t owe me anything, but, if you really want to repay me, how about giving me your phone number?” He opened the contacts app and created a contact for you in his phone. He handed it to you so you could put your phone number in.

“Why would you want my phone number?” You ask, taking his phone and typing in the digits. “I really enjoyed your company today, Y/N. Maybe we’ve just been talking to the wrong people this whole time.” He said placing one hand back on the steering wheel. “You think so?” You ask as you hand his phone back to him. He smiled at the numbers printed on his screen before his screen clicked off. “I do.” He says turning his body to face you.

The silence is deadly. It’s intoxicating. Intoxicating enough to plant bad ideas into your head.

“Do you maybe want to come in for some coffee or tea?” Twelve words that would decide whether the two of you still believed in love.

You noticed the way his lips threatened to form a smirk. “We’re not having sex, i’ll tell you that right now.” You say putting a hand on the car door. “That’s not at all what I had in mind.” He said with a cheeky smile. “Good. So are you coming in or not?” You released your grip on the door and backed up a little. He turned off the car and exited, meeting you on the sidewalk. “I’ll have some tea, please and thank you.” You smiled and led him to your house.

You closed the door behind you and watched as Levi let his eyes wander around your house. “It’s small, but I didn’t expect anything too luxurious either. Considering the fact that you tipped me a mere thirty dollars and you’re single. Is this enough for you?” Levi inquired, exploring the walls and looking at the occasional pictures on your walls. You furrowed your eyebrows as you filled a tea kettle with water to heat up on the stove. “First of all, I gave you thirty dollars for serving me four glasses of tap water. Second, how would you know about the way I live based on my relationship status? Third, yes, this is enough for me.”

He changed the subject nervously as he walked into the small room that was your kitchen and dining area, “You have good taste in tea. I’ve been trying to find this specific brand for days now. I see you’re the one cleared the shelves.” He opened a cabinet to reveal boxes on boxes of tea from your favorite tea brand. “It’s kind of an addiction.” You say quietly. He chuckles as he closes the cabinet and stands next to you.

“The water is ready. How do you like your tea?” You held a small white teacup. “That’s alright, I can make it myself.” You give him the teacup and move away from the stove to give him access to the kettle. “Feel free to rummage through my fridge and cabinets for anything you want to add to your tea. I’m gonna go change into something less attention seeking.” He nodded as you walked away, eyeing the way you held the length of your dress to prevent yourself from tripping.

You first went to your bathroom to remove the minimal effort you had made to try makeup. After, you changed into a plain white t-shirt, some gray sweatpants, and some fuzzy socks. Apart from the fuzzy socks, it was a boyish look, but you preferred it over booty shorts and camisoles. You went back to the bathroom to remove the bobby pins that were in your hair, letting every hair that was pinned previously fall into place.

“I’m sorry, have we met?” Levi said teasingly as you made your way to the living room. “Funny.” You replied, sitting far from Levi’s end of the couch.

“So, why did you invite me into your house?” The dark-haired man asked after taking a sip of his tea. You didn’t expect such a question, making it difficult for you to come up with an answer that was quick and sincere. You went with what rolled off your tongue easiest, which wasn’t a safe thing to do with a question like that. “I wanted company.” The sincerity was definitely there.

You brought your knees up to your chest and hugged them. “I waited those two pathetic hours at the restaurant because I wasn’t expecting to come home alone again. Somebody promised to be there.” Levi tilted his head at your words. “Well you managed to do the first part. I’m here. And I may not be the person you expected, but I can do those same things he did better.” He set his cup down and watched as you chewed on your nails, as if it was the most fascinating thing he had ever seen.

You stopped once you felt the annoying feeling in your chest tone down. “I think you should stop smoking. Lung cancer isn’t pretty.” He picked up the teacup in the strange manner you had noticed before and took another sip. “Give me a really good reason and i’ll consider it. Don’t make it a scientific one either, like cancer and shit like that.” He set the cup down on the table once again. He crossed his legs as he waited for you to give him your great reason for preventing an entire addiction.

“I want to have enough time to befriend you. I can’t do that if you’re slowly decreasing your lifespan.” You lowered your knees to sit more comfortably in a cross-legged position. He stood up and walked closer to your end of the couch and ended up sitting a foot away from you with your legs touching.

“Why would you want to befriend someone like me?” You could see the tiredness in his eyes. From the short distance between you two, you could finally appreciate the attractiveness of the man in front of you. He had the prettiest gray eyes that you could see your reflection in. He had beautiful inky hair that was styled in a way that made him look professional, not to mention, handsome. The bags under his eyes hinted that he was potentially an insomniac, but who were you to judge? You frequently partake in sleepless nights as well.

“You’re a good guy, Levi. I can see myself falling in love with you and your chivalrous charm. Though you’re still a stranger, I invited you into my home because you’ve gained some of my trust. Unlike the disgusting men i’ve talked to before, you still haven’t asked me where my bedroom is. You’re not pushing me to do anything I don’t want to, and frankly, you don’t bring me the slightest bit of discomfort. You also haven’t let me down tonight. Not once. You brought me water every time I almost finished my glass and you got me home when in my head I didn’t know how I was going to get there.”

He had the most grateful look in his eyes, like you had saved his life from an endless void. “Can I kiss you?” He asked in almost a whisper. Your heart went from relaxed to racing as soon as you heard the word ‘kiss.’ You were visibly nervous and Levi caught on instantly. “Is it too soon?” So many questions had been asked today yet none of them had your heart threatening to show itself like the last two.

“Do you really want to?” You asked obliviously, continuing the line of questions. “Yes, so badly.” He reassured.

You pulled him closer to you by the collar of his white dress shirt. His lips softly locked with yours, enveloping you with warmth internally and externally. There was no lust poured into this moment. It was a scene that demonstrated the mutual appreciation of two souls who thought love was not to be counted on. You could smell the deep scent of black tea on his lips as you brushed your lips out of his hold, only to be brought back for more.

His hand landed on your waist, bringing familiar goosebumps to your skin. You weren’t on earth anymore. You were roaming the clouds outside the gates of heaven. This innocent display of affection brought tears to your eyes, which rolled down your cheeks and left gray spots on your white shirt. Your hold on his collar loosened when you brought your right hand to his cheek, caressing it gently. Levi’s hands rode your sides up and down slowly over your shirt, wishing he could feel the warmth of your skin on his fingertips.

You both pulled away slowly, looking into each other’s eyes with pure admiration. His thumbs instantly went below your lower lash line and cheeks to dry the tears that had escaped your eyes. “What’s wrong?” His eyes went soft as you held his hand in place. “I’m so damn deprived of affection. This is the first time i’ve kissed—touched someone and let them touch me like this in over two years.” You bring his hand to your lips and kiss the palm.

“I thought you and _____ were close.” You rolled your eyes internally at the thought of that guy. “We’ve never met. Today, uh…” You let out a weak chuckle. “…we were supposed to meet in person for the first time.”

Levi furrowed his eyebrows slightly in disgust and hatred for the man. “Nobody deserves you, Y/N. Not even me. You’re too good for people. Don’t let this guy place a value on your worth when he didn’t even bother to meet you. He’ll never know what it’s like to kiss your lips, or to inhale your debilitating scent. He missed out, and i’m glad he did. No offense.”

You chuckled at his sweet words. “You’re too kind, Levi.”

The conversation between you two continued for hours. It varied from what an ideal man would be for you and what an ideal woman would be for him, to what plans you both had for the future. You never thought you’d be sharing so much with a person that you met literally hours ago.

The night ended for you two at two in the morning. “Thank you for staying for so long, Levi. I appreciate the wholeness you brought to my house.” You walked behind him as you followed him to his car. “I’ll be using your number often, so don’t forget about me.” His hand found it’s way to your cheek again and shielded you against the cold wind. “You’re still not wearing a jacket, Y/N. Unbelievable.” He teased.

He opened the back right door of his car and brought out a forest green hoodie. “Put this on.” He requested, putting it in front of you. “No.” “Y/N.” “No.” “Y/N, please. For me?” You sighed, annoyed at the moment at his protectiveness. You slipped the hoodie on, it looked just slightly oversized on you. “Thank you. Now your turn.” You rolled your eyes playfully and muttered,“Thank you,” under your breath. “Huh? What was that?” “Thank you, gosh!” He chuckled as he pulled you into a hug. You could feel his shoulders shake which made you smile like an idiot.

“You look so cute, and now I have an excuse to come back. Whoops, I ‘forgot’ my hoodie.” “You’re a goofball.” You reply, planting a kiss on his cheek, then one on his forehead. “I should get going. If I don’t leave now, I’ll want to stay with you all night.” He kissed your forehead, the breeze cooling down the spot instantly. “Goodnight, Levi.” A gentle smile formed on your lips. “Goodnight, Y/N.” He got into his car and drove away until you couldn’t see the lights anymore.

I won’t smoke anymore cigarettes, Y/N. For your sake.

[shades-of-stony]

ABO Stony AUs! (Part 2)

As promised, here is part 2! [link to Part 1] I’m not sure if I’m gonna make part 3 but there are still a bit ABO fics left. 

A King For Christmas by iam93percentstardust

Summary: In 1867, Tony Stark flees New York after refusing to marry the alpha his parents chose for him. His money runs out in the small kingdom of Dacia, ruled over by King Steven of the Rogers line. Somehow, and he’s not entirely sure how, he ends up accepting the position of nanny to the king’s four children: Harley, Peter, Sarah, and Morgan.

Tony bonds with the children easily but their father is harder to get to know. Steve is still grieving his wife’s death four years earlier. His continued mourning has turned the once bright halls into dark and somber shadows of their former glory. Tony isn’t entirely certain what he can do but he knows that he has to do something or else the whole country, so attuned to their leader, will sink into despair. He begins by reconciling the king with his young children.

Meanwhile, the children have decided that it’s high time their father fall in love again—and Tony is the obvious choice. They concoct elaborate plans to force the two together, hardly realizing that Steve and Tony are falling in love, not through their shenanigans but through the quiet moments they share bonding over the love they have for the children.

What, Like It’s Hard? by JehBeeEh

Summary: Omega Tony Stark has it all, until his alpha boyfriend breaks his heart. In an effort to win him back, he follows the alpha of his dreams to Harvard Law School, where he discovers there might be more to being the first omega at the prestigious school. He also meets another alpha that might just make him forget the one he drove across the country for.

Two-Point Perspective by FestiveFerret for sabrecmc

Dear omega,

Congratulations! You've been selected. Alpha #95847872 has been assigned as your pre-bondee. A group bonding ceremony will take place on the 14th, unless other arrangements have been made by your alpha or their family. A valid bonding license must be submitted to Omega Services within 45 days of this letter or all services will be cancelled and any transferable benefits will not be applied to your alpha's package.

If there is some reason why you cannot be bonded on this date, please apply for an extension by calling 1-800-555-6827 within 7 days of receiving this letter.

Sincerely, National Omega Services

I Love You (From the Bottom to the Top) by RomancebyFaye for Reioka

Summary: Steve and Tony have a great relationship. They may have only been dating for a few months, but the truth is, they had been in love for years before that. Their relationship is only getting better from adding this new intimacy and Steve is very satisfied with how open Tony is in the bedroom. He’s giving and generous, sometimes to a fault, just as he is with everything.

And then Steve comes home early and catches sight of something he wasn’t meant to see. The shock he gets from the sight of watching his alpha ride a toy might not have been meant for him, but it doesn't stop him from wanting.

Now, if he can just figure out how to tell Tony how much he wants what he witnessed without putting his foot in his mouth…

Or Tony offers Steve something in the bedroom and Steve misunderstands the offer.

Until he doesn’t.

A Prime, Divided by avengersasssemble

Summary: Facing his and his infant son's possible death sentence, young prince Tony runs away to the only place where his father would dare not follow: the Northern Territories, known to house the most savage and brutal Alphas--including their bloodthirsty leader, the Prime Alpha. Forced to navigate fatherhood and diplomacy while being unable to speak the Northern language, Tony has to make decisions to save his son, even at his own expense.

Oversight by ShyOwl

Summary: It really wasn’t Steve’s fault that no one knew he was an omega.

I Love You 3000 by NazakiSama166

Summary: After the death of his husband, the only thing Steven Rogers could think of was going on and dying in one of his missions, and Steven was happy to get his wish.... that was until he woke up in a strange universe when people can shift into wolves and men can get pregnant... Oh, and did he mention that Tony was there too and was in love with his younger jackass self? And let's not forget about Peggy...

Life just loves to mess with him...

Dear Enemy by AvengersNewB

Summary: Alpha Steve and omega Tony are SHIELD agents who don't always see eye to eye, but some benefits on the side help them work things out in the most non-traditional way. Steve's jealousy after an unfortunate encounter with Ty Stone, however, makes things complicated.

Love Match by FestiveFerret

Summary: Tony had but one goal for the season: secure a marriage proposal from an alpha with the position and means enough to remove him from his father's house. Love was wholly irrelevant to the matter. 

Stuck in a... by  Annie D (scaramouche)

Summary: Steve gets into a serum-enhanced rut. Tony figures that there’d be a long list of people who’d volunteer to help Steve out, but there’s only one person Steve wants.

A Late-Night Snacks, and Other Good Ideas by  Annie D (scaramouche)

Summary: Steve's heightened senses means that he always knows when Tony's in heat. One night, he finally does something about it.

citrus and lavender by JehBeeEh  

Summary: Steve laid Tony on his bed as delicately as he could manage. Which was ridiculous because he knew, logically, that Tony was absolutely fine. JARVIS himself had told him. And that’s 100% why he had fought Natasha so hard on Tony not needing to go to medical when they came back, even though he probably could use the check up. Yup. That was definitely the only reason he had insisted on bringing Tony back to the penthouse. No other reason at all. If you keep this up, you just might start believing it, he thought to himself ruefully. Tony wasn’t his. He had made it very clear that he didn’t need some alpha in his life to mess with everything he’d worked so hard to accomplish. Especially not Steve Rogers.

Found Love in a Hopeless Place by crispybacon

Summary: Steve really, really did not want to tag along with his brother to the bar, no matter how many times the jerk nagged him that he needed to get laid. Just because Bucky’s known his Omega since kindergarten, and the pair have loud obnoxious sex in their shared small two bedroom apartment, didn’t mean Steve needed to stick his knot in any Omega that looks his way.

That’s not the kind of Alpha Steve was.

Or, Steve goes to a bar and meets an Omega with a complicated past that changes his life forever.

This is Not a Drill by sabrecmc

Summary: “Can I—can I see him? I mean meet him. Uh…welcome him to the team?” Tony clarified, probably not very well, he knew.

“Well…there’s a bit of an issue with that,” Fury said, and Tony figured this was where Fury got to whatever it was that had really forced his hand and made him call Tony in, knowing how much the man detested having to do so. “You see, well. He was suspended in the ice for nearly seventy years,” Fury began. Tony nodded along, because he could do math.

“I’m sure he has a lot of adjusting to do—“ Tony started.

“Seventy years,” Fury repeated, cutting Tony off and leaning back in his chair and making it rock slightly. “Of no suppressants.”

“Oh,” Tony managed to choke out past the lump that had suddenly formed in his throat. “Oh.”

Everybody's got a hungry heart. by Perlmutt for ShadowsintheClouds

Summary: Tony Stark has never experienced a true heat due to the suppressants he's taking on a daily basis. Society accepts him as a beta, together with his friends and teammates and the alpha he's secretly in love with. But some things are just too big to be kept hidden forever. An unfortunate turn of events forces Tony to reveal his biggest secret to the world...

Baby, Just Say Yes by betheflame for starksnack

Summary: In a world where Tony's life looks a lot like Taylor Swift's, Steve realizes there always more to omegas than meets the eye.

Apple Pie and Sunshine by betheflame, starksnack

Summary: Even though they've loved each other for years, Steve and Tony have each convinced themselves that their one-night-stand was a fluke. Thing is, it also resulted in Tony getting pregnant and as the birth approaches, perhaps it's time to use their words.

blue since the day we parted by funkyspacegirlfriend

Summary: When he's twenty, the man Tony thinks will be his alpha and mate walks away, leaving Tony with a gift he'll never regret.

The same alpha reappears fifteen years later in the form of SI's new military liaison.

In my Favorite Dreams (I feel your heat) by Corsets_and_Cardigans for wingheads

Summary: Steve is on his morning run in DC when a ghost from his past comes back into his life. And he's not alone. *** “Steve?” Sam’s voice cut through the veil of the past, the crushing weight of memory that stole his breath. “What’s wrong, buddy?”

His staring must have finally alerted another parent, a woman eyeing him warily while tugging on Tony’s sleeve until he turned around. His eyes were just as expressive and wide as they were ten years ago, piercing the cold morning air straight to Steve’s own.

“Tony.”

“Wait. Tony Tony? The Tony? The Tony that Bucky busts your chops over Tony?”

His voice cracked, wrent into pieces at seeing his omega who wasn’t his anymore, body flaring in pain. Years worth of aching denial like a hot fireplace poker to his soul. “Yeah.”

“Okay then, who’s the kid?”

The Couch by Perlmutt

Summary: Steve overstepped a mark, when he accidentally called Tony, his mate, tiny. Because his omega was very self-conscious when it came to his height. So he needed to show him that he thought Tony's perfect just the way he was, if he didn't want to sleep on the couch for the next week. Luckily Steve was the man with a plan...

be the summer in my heart by billyscissors

Summary: After Obadiah betrays the Southern Isles, he offers Omega Prince Anthony Stark as tribute to appease the Warlord of the North

[astranva]

Dream With Me

Word Count: 3.8k

Warnings: Some explicit language? Not really though.

Category: Pure fluff!

Summary: One thing Harry loves about his girlfriend is her ability to make up the most interesting bedtime stories for him every night. How does it make her feel when he narrates one of her own to the world?

Or

The one where Y/N makes up bedtime stories for Harry and he records one for the world to listen to.

        When you tour the world, sing and prance on stages, write, model, play the guitar and piano, get interviewed, have people follow you everywhere, it’s safe to say that the best time to relax and let loose is when you sleep.

Harry enjoyed staying home with his girlfriend more than anything. Relaxed, chill days were his favorite; days when she’d be on the couch reading or on her laptop playing whatever video game she decided to try with people from online, he’d be lounging lazily beside her, his breath steady and calm when she’d run her fingers through his hair momentarily or when he’d be subconsciously playing with hers.

Days when their apartment would smell like pastries after she’d try baking something she saw on the television, or when it would smell like her favorite homecooked meal that Harry’s eyes would almost glimmer with happiness when she’d sneak and steal from the food he was cooking, watching her closing her eyes and a smile making its way to her face the moment she does, and he’d know that he has done a good job this time, again.

Harry loved the domestic life as much as he loved his job as an artist and entertainer. The euphoria he got the moment the crowd sang back to him, is one that he felt he achieved as well when he was with his girlfriend of 2 years when she’d be dancing to his songs in his clothes. The happiness he felt when someone would hug him and tell him that he means so much to them, is one he feels within just her smile in mornings or the soft, random kisses she’d give him. The bashfulness that would engulf him when someone would tell him that he’s good looking, was one that he felt when his girlfriend would tease him by wolf-whistling when he’d show her a new outfit or suit or just going anywhere really.

Don’t even get him started on how he feels with every single “I love you” she promises him because he was sure there would be no feeling close to what he feels when he hears those words from her, and especially her.

But there was something else about her, too, that nobody could give him but her – her stories.

Touring the world and doing what he does is hectic, of course, it is. It can be stressful, pressuring, and just plain tiring. So when he goes back home later than her after her job, and he goes straight into her arms, she knows he’s going to need a story to sleep better.

He’d nuzzle his head in her neck, smelling the scent of her shampoo with a whiff of her bodywash, his arms around her waist, hers around his neck, her hands moving to gently and lightly scratch his scalp.

“How was your day?” Harry would mumble, closing his eyes and letting her softly sway them in their place.

“Was alright,” she’d answer softly, “How was yours?”

And the sigh he’d release would be enough of an answer – tiring.

“Take a quick shower, yeah? Are you hungry?” She’d pull back to look at him, a soft smile on her lips as she asks him.

Harry would shake his head, “No, still feel too full from lunch.”

“Let me grab you an apple though. Lunch was a long time ago.” She’d pat his chest, “Go. How do we feel tonight? Do we feel like rescuing dwarfs or ending capitalism?” She’d grin, and it would instantly make him grin.

“Anything is fine. Just want to sleep with you beside me.”

On some days, they’d lie on their bed and she’d make up a story about how there were 3 dwarfs who lived in a mansion with everything miniature-sized and would climb each other and wear a coat and a fedora whilst outside. Why? “You can’t tell me you never wanted to try that, Harry!”

Then on other days, she’d tell a story about a boy named Harry with a rapidly growing fish in his backpack. Ring any bell? She remembers starting that series a long time ago with him, adding twists, comedy, and metaphors along the way until Harry decided to surprise her one day with an idea for his music video;

“Hey, baby, remember the fish in my backpack? We’re using that in Adore You! See you soon! Love you xx” he had texted.

Other days she’d make him think with the most random questions and assumptions.

“History is biased, Harry. When will the world stop considering Christopher Columbus a discoverer and instead take accountability for what he did to the natives of the land? What if Christopher never happened?”

And he’d be looking at her as she talked, one of her hands playing with his hair while the other moved all over the place for emphasis and to show how absolutely wonderful and amusing that mess of her mind was.

Some days, she’d be too tired. Drained from a day at her work, she’d be lazily playing with hair as her story was told in some sort of slurs.

“And then-And then they held hands, got on their horses and- no, they got on their skateboards,” she’d chuckle sleepily, “And they ran away. They didn’t have children because they didn’t want children and figured that the world was too ugly for that right now, so they adopted a blind dog and a deaf cat, and lived happily ever after.” She’d be out the moment she finishes, and Harry would be smiling at that and his heart thumping with love for her and love for how hard she has been trying to keep the ritual of a bedtime story alive, even when she was too sleepy and tired. It could be a 1-minute story and he’d feel better, and lighter.

It was one day when Harry went back home, turmoil evident and clear on his face. She noticed how tense his body was, how he clenched his jaw and saw him rubbing his temple as he took off his cardigan and was proven right when she put her laptop on the couch beside her and Harry took a breath before letting her know what happened;

“Fucking paparazzi. Do they think that’s an actual job?”

That day, he had showered and changed into one of her oversized hoodies (he was sure it used to belong to him) and shorts before joining her in their living room to find a tuna club sandwich waiting for him with a small cup of orange juice, his girlfriend under a blanket which she had retrieved when he was showering.

He told her all about the drama he faced that day over his tuna sandwich, giving her “thank you!”s every single time she agreed with him on how annoying they were.

“I get that people are different and that the economy is shit and everybody’s doing anything to get money but trying to trip me so they could get a photo? Why?” He rhetorically asked, shrugging.

“I agree, like,” her eyebrows furrowed as one of her arms reached out as if she was talking to somebody else but him, “Treat people with kindness, you assholes!”

And then there was a pause before Harry began to giggle, all the way to a loud laugh and struggling to catch his breath. She joined him, choosing to tackle him in a hug, hugging his head close to her chest before kissing his forehead, “Nobody is allowed to make you mad, you hear me, Styles? Now finish up, I think I know what to say tonight.”

She had taken a seat on Harry’s piano right after she uttered her last word, Harry turning his body around as he watched her with excitement and amusement. She cleared her throat, “This next song is dedicated to my mans,” Harry laughed, taking his phone in his hand and recording her as a keepsake, “It’s a song I worked very hard on. Stayed up all day and night.” She played offkey notes on the piano, “Harry, love,” she said slowly as she turned her head around to look at him, laughing when she found him recording her with the biggest grin on his face, “This one is for you.”

He had taught her how to play the Happy Birthday theme song on the piano when she joined him on tour once and began laughing when he heard her playing exactly that but with her own lyrics.

“Y/N makes me good stories, Y/N makes me good stories, Y/N makes me good stories,” she pressed the wrong key, letting out a tiny “oop” before continuing, “And she will make me sleep better toooonight.”

After, what she called a “skit”, they both brushed their teeth, did their night-time skincare routine, and were finally in bed.

Taking their usual position, Harry was on his side, looking at her with one arm draped around her waist. She was on her side, looking at him, one hand playing with his hair.

“Let’s try something different,” she suggested softly. “Close your eyes.”

Harry smiled at her, squinting teasingly which caused her to chuckle softly.

“Close your eyes, you baboon.”

So he did.

“Follow my instructions. Take a deep breath in,” she instructed, watching and hearing him follow her, “And then out. In.” He did as was said, “And out.”

Harry felt like almost sleeping from just how soft and gentle she was being, with the couple of deep breaths that he took, it felt like he could really feel how soothing the setting was; his hair played with, on clean sheets that smelled like the vanilla detergent they both loved mixed with her own scent, her presence beside him. It felt like heaven.

“Have you ever wondered what happens when you sleep?” She rhetorically asked, “Where you go, and what you feel; the places that you seek. When you start to drift away, your mind becomes a book,” she paused, “That writes itself then fades away before you wake to look.”

Harry almost swooned at what she said, embracing the calmness her words, voice, and overall presence radiated.

“Tonight, we’re going to think about anything you’d like.”

His mind instantly flashed to a scene that he had been dreaming and thinking too much about. The beach, him and his Y/N, wet with water and laughing before 3 kids were squealing and running around them. Call him a sap, but he saw a future with her and he loved kids.

“But let’s visualize some scenes. Clear your mind, love.” The hand which played with his hair stopped momentarily before he felt her knuckles softly caressing his temple and down to his cheek, making his reflexively smile which instantly put a smile on her face. “Let’s head to places more celestial.” She whispered.

“Imagine you’re there beneath the stars, which when you pause to think about it, actually, you are.” A sweet, gentle kiss followed her statement on his nose, watching him scrunch it with a wide smile and a hot face with a blush.

“You are, too.” He whispered, inching closer to her.

“Hush.” She said jokingly but blushed, before continuing the story which she had actually been thinking about for a while but saved for the right time.

She went on, describing sceneries for him and watching his lips tug into smiles as he listened to her, his face showing her different emotions despite having his eyes closed.

“Travel with me to moonlit valleys, blanketed with heather, the kind of landscape you and I could dream about forever.”

Harry was sure that if he wasn’t so sleepy, he’d be grabbing his journal to jot down everything she was saying and make it into a song, but he couldn’t cut their moment short. He didn’t have the heart to.

His Y/N continued, letting him relax more and more with every word she said.

He probably smiled the widest and felt like his heart would beat its way out of chest when she spelled out the word “love” to him, pecking different parts on his face with a kiss as she did.

“L,” she pecked his nose, “O,” she pecked one of his eyes and giggled when his face scrunched up in surprise, “V,” she pecked his temple, “E,” she pecked his cheek, “Love.” She kissed him softly and quickly.

And when she told him to think of “the ones he cherishes the most”, Harry couldn’t help but let out a low sigh of contentment as he imagined a garden with his family, friends and in between them, right under a spotlight, stood his Y/N in a flowy white floral dress, smiling so lovingly at him.

That night, Y/N watched Harry’s body get more relaxed by the minute, breath getting steadier until she realized that he had fallen asleep, his arm limp on her waist and his leg draped over hers.

“Goodnight.” She whispered.

He woke up before her the following morning, with a smile that proved that he, in fact, had a good and peaceful night's sleep. When he woke up, he realized that she was spooning him; one of her arms holding him tight, her leg over him, her head leaning against the back of his as he held her hand which was draped on his stomach.

Harry had to pause and reflect. Yesterday’s bedtime stories were probably one of her best and he was sure that if his Y/N decided to take that to the next level and write it down and read it to help ease those with a difficulty sleeping or anxiety, she would be helping out more people than she would imagine.

He stayed in his place for a while, scrolling through his phone and watching the previous night’s video without sound so that he wouldn’t disturb her. He watched how she laughed in that video, how domestically free and shamelessly herself she was, how she effortlessly managed to carry the weight of that day’s burdens off of his shoulders and throw it away.

Y/N woke up not long after and Harry felt it when he heard her let out a groan before she stretched, him instantly turning around to see her. “Good morning, beastie.” He joked as he always did to her in the morning.

“Morning, beauty.” She replied sleepily with a smile. “How was your sleep?”

“I’m certain that you’re a magician, Y/N. I’m sure of it.”

“Oh shoot. Caught.” She teased, wrapping herself around him by climbing and lying on top of him, feeling his arms wrap around her. “But really, how was it?”

“It was amazing. What was that last night?” He asked gently.

“What? You didn’t like it?”

“Like-Y/N, I loved it. That was some therapeutic shit right there.” His chest vibrated with chuckles, “Seriously. I think I want you to record that.”

Her eyebrows rose up and as did her head as she looked at him, “Really?”

“Yes!” He nodded eagerly.

“Wait, I have to show you something now that you mentioned it.” She grinned before climbing off of him and getting out of bed and walking towards her bedside table, mumbling about how she could’ve “shifted closer and gotten it without having to get out of bed.” She opened her drawer, taking out the notebook Mitch had gifted her for some reason last Christmas. It was a medium-sized notebook which had koalas on it with the title being “I’m 100% koalafied to become president!”

She sat beside Harry, who sat up and looked at her with both confusion and excitement as she shuffled through the pages.

“Here,” she stopped at one page, “That’s like, an outline? I don’t know what you call it. But I decided I’d write a bedtime story for you and that’s what I read to you yesterday.” She looked like a kid who had just won first place at a spelling-bee competition as she gave Harry her notebook.

His eyes fell on the title, “Dream with me.” He said softly.

“It’s cliché I know, forget about it.” She said bashfully, waving her hands around.

“No, it’s not,” Harry shook his head, “I did dream with you. Darling, this is incredible.”

“Yeah?”

“Yes!” Harry laughed excitedly, putting the notebook aside, “Write more, will you?” He asked softly as he opened his arms, letting her move to place herself on his lap and wrap her arms around him.

“Don’t treat me as if I’m a professional. You’re overfeeding my ego.” She joked.

“And why not? You are the best bedtime storyteller I have ever seen.” He said lowly.

“You think too highly of me, Harry.”

“Not too high,” He shook his head with a smug smile, “Just enough to appreciate how bloody talented you are.”

And that began a new ritual. It then became usual for Harry to find his girlfriend perched up anywhere, her koala notebook supported on a cushion on her lap as she wrote away stories which she told him every night, deciding on the perfect ones according to different times and moods.

One day, an idea popped in her head.

Due to the pandemic and how they were both staying safe and going out only when absolutely necessary, Y/N knew how chaotic and sad the world was. She knew some chaos needed to happen, knew that some chaos was revolutionary which is why she decided against staying home and silent and was with Harry during the BLM protests, knowing that something had to be done and that something wasn’t to sit and mope.

But everyone deserved the breather. Everyone deserved to let out a breath and to catch a good night's sleep.

It was when she stumbled upon a video on YouTube that was a 39-minute video of just Harry talking with rain in the background and she saw the comments from fans that she gasped and almost sprinted to Harry.

Harry, sitting in his recording and music room, was sat on a chair with his guitar, strumming and humming when his girlfriend barged in and began to ramble. “I’m sorry I didn’t knock but it’s so important! There are so many people we can help, or like, you can, and it’s super easy, you already have the equipment and ev-“

“Y/N!” His eyes widened as he called for her and put his guitar aside, “Honey, calm down. It’s okay. Let’s talk. Come here.” He held his arm out.

She blushed and began laughing quietly at herself as she seated herself on his lap, brushing back her hair. “Sorry, sorry, too excited.”

Harry smiled, “And I absolutely love it but I’m having just a liiittle bit of hard time understanding.”

She laughed before taking a deep breath and straightening her posture, “Alright. You know how awful everything has been? How-How busy and noisy the world has been for a while?” She asked and Harry nodded, “Well do you know that your fans have a video of you on YouTube with many interviews in there because they love your voice? And they added rain and everything, reduced noise.”

“Oh, wow.” He tried to conceal his blush by laughing.

“I know! You know how good your voice is so why don’t you give the world a little something?”

Harry furrowed his eyebrows, “I sing?”

“No, they know that. They have your songs and covers and everything but you talking?” She raised an eyebrow at him with a suggestive smile.

“Baby, I really don’t think I’m getting anything.”

“Read them something! A bedtime story.” She suggested with an excited smile and a gleeful tone.

“Like you do to me?” He asked, wanting to understand better.

“Yeah, exactly like that. You can upload it on your website or see if any app is willing to partner, whatever you want.”

“Do you think people would like that?” Harry asked again, wrapping his arms tighter around her to bring her closer as he looked up at her.

Y/N smiled and gently cupped his face, “They’ll absolutely adore it.”

Harry hummed, in thought. “Yeah well, I can’t do that on my own.”

She nodded, “You have connections. Jeff has connections, you can find a part-“

“No, love, I mean I can’t do it without you.” He grinned up at her, watching as her face then showed confusion, “Not without your beautiful, absolutely wonderful stories.”

Her eyes widened, her head tilted. “What? No. These are for you. Told you I’m no professional, Harry. I’m sure there are faaar better people.”

Harry rolled his eyes, “Nonsense. We do this together or we let people have trouble sleeping.”

“You manipulative piece of shit.” She shook her head with a smile, leaning her head back, Harry chuckling.

“Dream with me.” He said after a moment, “I can read Dream With Me.”

She looked at him for a moment, her smile widening before she nodded, leaning down to capture his lips in a kiss. “I love you.”

Remember what I said about the indescribable feeling he got when she said those three words? It was there.

And she felt it, too, when he replied with a promise of his – “I love you, too. So much.”

---

Harry had contacted Jeff, who had contacted some people before finally landing on a partnership with Calm. There were two conditions in this work;

Harry would record from his home.

He would be reading his girlfriend’s story.

Now imagine owning a company of that sort as Calm and having Harry Styles contact you with these two conditions. Yes.

It took a couple of days. In the comfort of their own home, Harry and Y/N had him record then they would tweak some stuff then they would listen and try again. They were aware that music would be added, and Y/N was way too excited to listen to the final product.

In his denim hat, black t-shirt, striped cream-colored pants, using his Vans as slippers – which Y/N always cringed at and told him that it would ruin his shoes – and the script in his hand, Y/N stood on the side, admiring. He had allowed his scruff to grow, which she definitely wasn’t complaining about. A bracelet she made him when they were only friends years ago on his wrist, its colors washed out from when he’d shower or swim with it. Headphones were on his head, but she knew he could hear her if she said anything.

When she took her phone out to take a picture, Harry’s eyes moved to her before moving back to the script with a smile.

“Maybe all the memories that we’ve gathered here tonight are all dreams now remembered or wishes in plain sight. No matter what, they’re with us now, for this night and forever. And every time we close our eyes, they’re yours and mine to treasure. Goodnight, and sleep well.”

Harry then turned to look at her, eyes gleaming with happiness and calmness, as her hands were clutched together against her chest, watching and listening.

“I love you.” He added.

913,746 likes.

yourinstagram: Goodnight❤

[atlabeth]

death by a thousand cuts - asami x fem!reader

i listened to this playlist while i wrote this in case you wanna feel my pain while you read this 

summary: in which you and asami fall out of love.

wc: 3.1k 

a/n: good god i am so sorry

warning(s): so much angst. breakups. falling out of love. crying. there is no happy ending 

based off of death by a thousand cuts by taylor swift | gif credit

breaking up with asami sato was the hardest thing y/n ever had to do.

she had never met anyone more.. perfect. 

her raven hair that she loved to tangle her hands in, the emerald green eyes that sparkled whenever she smiled, her infectious laughter that never failed to brighten y/n’s day. the confidence she carried herself with was extremely attractive, and it was one of the first things that caught y/n’s eye.

she never understood her long-winded rants about engineering or what was going on in the business world, but she would listen to her girlfriend read the phonebook if it meant she could hear her talk about something so passionately. the way that she put her full heart into everything she did, the way she loved so fully, it was impossible not to fall for her. 

asami was the smartest, kindest, most beautiful woman that y/n had ever met in her life, and it tore her apart to have to let her go. if someone took a knife to her heart a thousand times then ripped it out of her body, it still wouldn’t hurt as much as losing asami. 

but that was the thing about falling out of love. it wasn’t her fault, it wasn’t asami’s fault. it just.. happened.

and it was terrifying.

at first it wasn’t obvious. they were both college students with full lives, so they knew things were going to be busy. y/n was doing an unpaid internship at her dream job in hopes that she would be able to work her way up the ladder, while working another part time to keep herself afloat. asami had always said if she had any money troubles she would be more than willing to help, but y/n preferred to be able to support herself. she never denied an opportunity for her girlfriend to spoil her though. asami was working with her family business and it took a lot of time up as well. combine that with their classes, it was a miracle that they had any free time at all. 

but they made time. any spare moment they had was spent together. they always made it back to the apartment at the end of the day, and they would stay up far later than they should’ve to make up for the time apart. whether it was cooking something together at 2am and making a mess of the kitchen or telling each other about their day or just laying together in bed in each other’s embrace while they fell asleep, they did it together. 

together, together, together. 

there was no better place to be. because when they were together, asami and y/n could face the world. 

people envied them. hardworking women that managed to do it all, high school sweethearts that had been madly in love for years ever since they met their junior year. they danced around the topic of marriage, never fully stepping onto it, but both knew that it was something they wanted. they both thought they were going to be together till the end, so they had plenty of time before they took the plunge. 

y/n didn’t know that asami looked at engagement rings in her spare time, trying to think of one that her girlfriend would love, something that would be able to express how badly asami wanted to spend the rest of her life with y/n. 

asami didn’t know that y/n had a folder of numbers for wedding planners, caterers, musicians, lists of people that would work at a wedding or a reception. the thought of proposing was on her mind constantly, and she wanted to be able to express how badly she wanted to spend the rest of her life with asami. 

but things started to change.

late nights got later, and they no longer ended every day at the apartment. asami had to start going on business trips — future industries was in trouble, and she had to do everything to keep it afloat. this business was her livelihood, her family’s life work, and she couldn’t let it go. y/n understood and was nothing but supportive at first — she knew who her girlfriend was, and she admired her work ethic. 

but the time apart did something to them. just like their love slipping away, it wasn’t noticeable at first. small. but it grew, and the cracks started to form in their perfect relationship. 

asami had been called away on another business trip, this time to the fire nation to try and negotiate some kind of deal between another company. it was taking much longer than expected, so calls like these had become a regular. they would usually start after y/n got home from work, and they would just.. be with each other. sometimes they talked for hours, sometimes they just sat and got their respective tasks done — it was easier when they knew that the other was there. 

y/n was in the worst mood today. she had spent the last ten minutes ranting about the horrible day she had at work, and how she didn’t earn nearly enough to pay for the classes that she took, and textbooks should not be this expensive, and unpaid internships were bullshit. asami was being the same helpful angel as always, but for some reason y/n couldn’t stand it today. 

“y/n, if you’re having money troubles, you know that i can help you. i want to help you, all you have to do is ask! you don’t have to work these insane hours and stress yourself out.”

“asami, how many times do i have to tell you that i don’t need it? how many times have i told you that i want to be able to forge my own path? i don’t- i don’t need you to baby me.” she regretted the words as soon as they left her lips. they had come out so much harsher than she meant and it was obvious by the moment of silence that it had hurt asami. they didn’t have many arguments, so when they did their jabs hit hard, even when they were the smallest of things. 

“i’m not trying to baby you, i’m trying to help my girlfriend so she doesn’t have to worry constantly about money! i mean, what’s the point of having a fortune if you can’t use it to help others? i love you, y/n, and i want to h-” 

“i don’t need your help, asami!” she didn’t mean to yell. she never liked yelling — the couple had always been able to work out their problems before with a level head and talking normally — but this just slipped out. the silence that followed after was deafening, and y/n let out a sigh, pinching the bridge of her nose. “i— i’m sorry. i have to go.” 

y/n was about to hang up, but even during fights she didn’t leave without saying it. especially when her girlfriend was in another country, she couldn’t leave without saying it. “..i love you too, asami. goodnight.” 

that was the first sign that things were going downhill. they never had arguments over something as petty as this — y/n wasn’t jealous of asami in any way, she was proud, and her girlfriend succeeding made her happier than anything — but lately it felt like mishaps like this were happening more and more often. 

y/n passed it off as stress from the job — for some reason, asami offering to help just made her take even longer hours — but deep down, she knew. something was changing between her and her girlfriend, and she didn’t like it. 

the things that she used to find endearing were now annoying. she began to tune out asami’s rants about the business world, and her confidence started to come off as cockiness. she was snapping more and more often and found it scary how easily their conversations now irked her.

the same things were happening on asami’s side. she used to love y/n’s brazenness and how she said whatever came to mind, but now it just bothered her. the independence she once admired was getting to her as well — why couldn’t she just accept her help? asami had money, she was willing to help, but she was met with the same stubbornness every time. it was tiring. 

their calls that used to occur every night and last for hours became far and in between, replaced by goodnight texts and i love you’s. and even those ceased -- it wasn’t uncommon for them to go whole days without talking while asami was away. and the worst thing? it didn’t bother her. y/n used to not be able to go an hour without talking to her in some way, but now she was just.. okay with it. 

asami could feel y/n slipping through her fingers, but she couldn’t do anything about it. because she was slipping away as well. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

they couldn’t keep going like this.

both women were ignoring the problem. it was partially out of shock, but mostly out of fear. how could they have lost their love like that? the flame that they tended together, the wild, passionate flame that was their love, had gone out. what were they supposed to do? what could they do? 

asami was coming home today. y/n would normally pick her up and they would greet each other with the biggest hug and kiss, and then they would spend the entire ride home talking each other’s ears off. but not this time. this time, asami did it all herself. drove herself to and from the airport, taking the parking fees over y/n driving her. she was surprised at how much she enjoyed the silence on the ride home, but it gave her time to think. too much time to think about what was going on with her and her girlfriend. 

but she already knew the answer. 

asami fidgeted with the key into the apartment and pushed the door open, trailing a suitcase behind her as she walked into the empty room. “y/n?” she called, only being met with the echo of her own voice. “i’m home!”

her eyes drifted around and saw the door out to the balcony was open, y/n leaning against the railing. she looked absolutely beautiful in the moonlight, but the pang she felt in her heart was just sadness instead of happiness. and just like that, she knew she was going to have to bring it up. 

they couldn’t keep going like this. 

y/n turned around as she heard footsteps, her lips quirking upwards ever so slightly as she saw who it was. “hi,” she whispered. 

“hi.” asami returned the greeting and she came to rest on the balcony next to her. neither of them said anything for a long time, but somehow they both knew. the statement hung in the air. five simple words, five words that would end it all. five words that neither of them could say, but both of them knew had to be said. 

that was one thing about being together for this long — they knew each other better than anyone else, and they wouldn’t ever be able to forget. 

“how was your trip?” y/n asked, wanting to break the silence. anything was better than standing here waiting for the hammer to drop. anything to stop those words from being uttered. 

“it was alright,” asami murmured. “we secured the deal, so future industries is safe for now. i’ll probably be gone again on another business trip before you know it, though.” 

“i’m happy for you.” that wasn’t a lie, but the thing that scared her was how she felt nothing knowing that asami was going to be leaving again. she wasn’t sad, she wasn’t disappointed, she just felt nothing. and that was the biggest sign yet. 

both of them turned to look at each other at the same time, and y/n was almost taken aback by the pure melancholic expression asami wore. in that moment, she knew. she knew because that was the exact same expression she had when she looked in the mirror in the morning. 

y/n opened her mouth to say something, say anything, but before she knew what was happening asami’s lips were on hers. her eyes shut and she instinctively pulled asami closer, hands already tangling in her hair. it was too easy to get caught up in it all again, too easy to forget. because they both wanted to forget. 

y/n wanted nothing more than to stay like this. she knew it couldn’t stay like this, she knew that holding onto their broken love was unhealthy, but she just couldn’t let go. even though there was nothing behind the kiss, she just couldn’t let it go. it was the scent of asami’s perfume pervading her senses that caused her to pull away first. 

y/n pursed her lips, feeling the familiar sting behind her eyes. she smiled sadly and breathed out a laugh, shaking her head in an effort to avoid eye contact. it didn’t last long. “we can’t put it off any longer. this— us. it’s over, isn’t it?”

“i’m so sorry, y/n.” y/n didn’t know if she was apologizing for kissing her or for their lost love — for all she knew it could’ve been both. her green eyes sparkled in the moonlight, and as she stared into them all the memories of the last couple years came back. years of happiness, laughter, nights spent together and waking up next to each other. “i.. i don’t know how it happened. it felt like one day, everything was perfect, and the next, i just—“

“you don’t have to be sorry, asami.” y/n took asami’s hands in her own as she spoke softly, and spirits. their hands fit together so perfectly that it hurt. “i felt it too. i didn’t want to acknowledge it, but.. i knew. i’ve known since that first phone call.”

“how did this happen?” she rasped, rubbing circles on y/n’s hand with her thumb with a far off look in her eyes. “did we do something wrong? i- i thought you were the one. i know we’re young, but i can’t see myself with anyone else. in every future i‘ve imagined, you’ve been by my side.” 

spirits, that made things so much harder. that was exactly how y/n felt. asami sato had always been who she saw at the end of the tunnel, the one who she thought she would spend the rest of her life with. it was a rare feeling, the love they shared, and trying to cope with the fact that that love was gone was like trying to wake up from a walking nightmare. 

“i.. i don’t know.” it seemed like the only thing she did know was that the love of her life was gone. she didn’t know how it happened, she didn’t know why it happened, she only knew that she no longer had asami sato. y/n blinked back tears and had to let go of asami’s hands. it hurt too much, knowing that she would never get to hold her hands, hold her, in the same way they used to. it hurt too much knowing that the spark was gone. she rested her forearms on the balcony, the faint night breeze blowing all around her. 

“we’ll still be friends, right?” asami’s voice was faint as she came to stand against the balcony with y/n once more, eyes sparkling with unshed tears. “we spent the last seven years together. that- it doesn’t just go away now that we’re no longer…” she didn’t want to say the words. saying it meant that it was real, it meant that all of this was really happening. it meant that she was really losing the girl she thought she would get to call her wife one day. 

“i…” she bit the inside of her cheek. “i hope so. i sincerely hope so. but i’m going to need some time before we can be.. ‘just friends’ again.” y/n pressed one of her hands into the side of her head and shook her head. “i’ll- uh, i’ll move my things out this weekend. i have a friend i can crash with tonight and until i find an apartment.” 

“yeah, of course. of course— as much time as you need.” her voice cracked on the last word and asami swallowed hard. “if you need any money, you can ask-” 

“asami.” y/n hated how her name sounded on her lips now. it used to be so full of love, happiness, a reminder of every good thing in the world. now it just reminded her of what she no longer had. it felt empty. 

she wished she felt something. y/n knew it wasn’t fair to asami, but yelling and screaming at her would’ve made her feel better than this emptiness behind her heart. anything would be better than this nagging feeling in her chest. 

she stopped talking and they faced each other, so close but worlds apart. asami’s hands itched to reach for y/n’s again, and y/n wanted nothing more than to find herself in asami’s embrace again. before they knew it, they were both leaning in. 

their lips met again in one final kiss, one final plea to all the spirits that their love would suddenly come back. that the butterflies, the electricity, the almost overwhelming happiness would re-emerge; that this was all just a cruel misunderstanding and that they could go back to being together. but as y/n pulled away, she felt nothing. and she knew asami felt the same way.

a single tear trickled down y/n’s cheek as she stared in the eyes of her former love with a sadness that words couldn’t begin to describe.

“i’ll always love you, asami sato.”

“i’ll always love you, y/n y/l/n.”

the whispered declarations were more like goodbyes, and as y/n walked back into the house, wiping away rapidly falling tears, asami was doing the same as she gazed up at the moon. their thoughts mirrored each other’s. 

“why did it have to be us?”

[moonbeamsung]

Winter Nights & City Lights

Because nothing says ‘Christmas’ like spending the big day (and not to mention the whole holiday season) in the Big Apple living with your high school friend-turned-roommate, Mark Lee.

member: mark (featuring johnny)

au: roommate!mark x gn!reader, college roommate au, christmas au, ‘the gift of the magi’ au/inspired

word count: 9.5k

genre: fluff, angst, slice of life

warnings: profanity, underage drinking, hangovers, insecurities, mentions of food and drink, money issues, embarrassing moments

author’s note: This fic is close to becoming my favorite that I’ve ever written. It’s also almost twice as long as I planned, not to mention that tumblr crashed right as I tried to post it so here I am, two hours later. Overall I had a blast writing it and I hope you enjoy reading it! Please let me know what you think, too! :,) Happy holidays! <3

taglist: @astroboy-lele​ @kisshim​ @radiorenjun​

network tags: @kpopscape​ @neo-constellations​ @starryktown​ @culture-cafe​ @dreamlab-nct​

“That parade was so cool! I mean, did you see the size of all those balloons? They were huge! I’ve never seen so many people all in one place before,” Mark chatters away like an excited child as you navigate through the crowd that always seems to grow bigger year after year, gathered along the curbs of the New York streets to watch the famed Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade.

“How are you not more excited about this?” He questions, and you stifle an amused giggle. “I’ve lived in the city for over a year, Mark. I’ve seen a thing or two.”

“Oh, right. I knew that.” The cold air only accentuates the blush on his face as he remembers that particular detail about you. It isn’t often that it’s demonstrated, however, considering you spend so much time cooped up inside of your shared apartment cramming in university work and studying. There are hardly any opportunities during the year to take in the sights of the concrete jungle you live in the very heart of, but luckily, one of your long-awaited breaks is coming up soon.

Thoughts of Christmas vacation are the only things keeping you going, along with countless cups of steaming hot coffee, as you prepare for exams in just a few weeks, weeks that seem to go by in a flurry of snow.

There’s less than three days left until your first one, but you’re nothing short of drained after pulling so many all-nighters, and you need a break. A breath of fresh air seems like just the cure for your burnout, so you slam your textbook shut and lethargically drag yourself off of the soft comforter you’ve been sitting on for the past two hours. You grimace at the deep imprint left behind.

Trudging through the living area, you knock softly on Mark’s bedroom door. A tired “Come in” sounds from the other side, and you push it open, immediately noticing his disheveled state. Eyes heavy with fatigue and lacking their usual sparkle of youthful innocence, he blinks back at you, “What’s up?”

“You look like you need a break just as much as I do,” you insist. His already-open mouth widens a bit more, “But... our first exam is on Monday, we can’t just—”

“Mark, come on, you’re one of the smartest people in our class. If anyone’s going to pass, it’s you.”

He huffs, “Maybe you have a point.”

“I do have a point, and you know it. A little walk in the park never hurt anyone, right?”

Mark rubs his eyes with the back of his hand, fingers raking through his dark locks before he musters up enough strength to push himself off of his bed and into a standing position.

“I’ll get my jacket.”

Central Park is a sight to behold on its own all year round, but something about the Christmas season makes it even more magical. You and Mark step at the same pace, your paths lined by metal benches blanketed in fresh snow. Even through the many layers of warmth you’re both wearing, the chilly air still nips at your skin. It’s Mark’s first time experiencing the holidays in New York City, and you’re determined to show him everything this real-life winter wonderland has to offer.

The story of how you two came to be roommates in the first place is an extremely lucky one. You met in high school, and had been part of the same group of friends along with six younger boys. Both Canadian, you’d been hoping to get into the same New York college since what felt like forever. The day that you received your acceptance letters in the mail was full of joy and celebration, but not even a week later, Mark got an unexpected scholarship to a local but prestigious university not far from where you lived that he simply couldn’t pass up.

Parting ways after graduation, you had thought you might never see each other again until you got a call from him. It was the day after your last exam of the spring semester in college and you were sitting on your two-person couch, feeling rather lonely. The number seemed too familiar, too good to be true, and scrambling to pick up the phone as it blared throughout your fairly small apartment, you answered with a shaky voice. Mark’s recognizable tone met your ears, and a wide smile met your face. Though he couldn’t see it, he could hear the happiness in your words.

As it turned out, his college had given him the opportunity to transfer to yours for the remainder of his four years, as their programs were closely linked and on similar levels. Graciously, he had accepted, and wanted you to be the first to know.

“So, uh... are you living with anyone?”

The question he dreaded asking more than anything else. Call him cliché, but he had the biggest crush on you in high school, much to his dismay and to the rest of his friends’ excitement. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to like you, but he feared that college could tear a potential relationship apart, regardless of whether or not you went to the same one.

As a result of this, he had never acted on his emotions. But he’s older now, and wiser, which leads him to believe that maybe it wouldn’t be so hard to maintain one, should he ever gain enough courage to ask you out.

“No, actually, I have my own apartment.”

Silence.

“...Are you looking for somewhere to stay?”

“Yes! Yes,” he replied a little too quickly, eager to accept what would hopefully be an invitation from you. He wasn’t disappointed.

“Well, my place isn’t the biggest, but you can live with me if you want to. Plus, we could split the rent between us!”

You’ve always liked Mark. He’s hardworking, kind, and humble, maybe a little too much of all these things for his own good. Even back in high school, you spent endless nights and very early mornings on the phone with him, trying to convince him to go to bed after he refused to stop studying. To reassure him that he did the right thing by ending that friendship, or to insist that he tell the teacher no one worked on the group project, so he did everything himself. You’ve been his shoulder to cry on for years, you’ve seen a side of him that he’s never been brave enough to show anyone else because they expect so much of him.

Mark knows he’s blessed to have had a picture-perfect childhood, a good family, and an education that was rigorous yet rewarding enough to prepare him for his next chapter in life. The pressures that came with being so lucky just got to him sometimes, and they made four years of high school seem more like fourteen.

You, on the other hand, didn’t quite have all the same luxuries that he did, but you still managed. He’s been there for you plenty of times, too. In your opinion, though, he’s the much more vulnerable one of the two of you, mainly to his cumbersome insecurities and shortcomings, however rare those shortcomings may be.

So in your mind, Mark Lee deserves the entire world and then some. The least you can do is share your apartment with him, either until he finds what you’re sure would be a much more desirable place to live, or if he wants to stay with you indefinitely.

What you don’t realize, and will eventually struggle to admit to yourself, is that your admiration for his perseverance and endless generosity is teetering rather precariously on the edge of blossoming into something more than just platonic.

“Sounds good, then. Thanks so much!” He had exclaimed, the sound of his pure excitement and gratefulness bringing a wave of heat to your face, and you were glad he wasn’t there in front of you to see it.

You talked a little bit more for the next few minutes, catching up and enjoying a lighthearted conversation about what you had both been up to. These sessions on the phone began to occur more and more frequently, turning into weekly, and soon daily, affairs. Mark planned to move in a couple weeks before school started again, giving himself some time to settle in and adapt to urban life in general. The calls became a highlight of your summer vacation, and every day without fail, you found yourself waiting to hear the unique ringtone you had set his contact to.

Less than twelve hours before Mark was scheduled to arrive at New York’s largest airport, you were on the phone with him just like always. The clock in your apartment chimed eleven o’clock, and as reluctant as you were to hang up, you knew you should turn in for the night. After all, the sooner you went to sleep, the sooner the morning would come. The morning you would meet him at the airport.

“So I’ll see you tomorrow?” His voice was hopeful. Slightly unsteady, but hopeful all the same.

“I guess so. What time does your plane land, again?” You confirmed the time you had scribbled down onto a neon yellow sticky note a few days earlier as he repeated the short string of numbers, nodding to no one in particular. Why did you feel so nervous? It’s just Mark, you had told yourself.

“Have a safe flight!”

He bade you goodnight in return, accidentally throwing in a “sweet dreams” before he could stop himself. When you put your phones down, you were both too busy trying to calm your racing pulses, however, so it didn’t matter. Mark collapsed onto his bed, hand bumping his duffel bag and heaving a sigh. You sank down into the couch cushion, closing your eyes and leaning your head against the back of the furniture. Neither of you could find the strength to stand in those moments, scared that your legs would give in from the unsteadiness of your nerves, your hearts, your emotions.

A singular worry occupied both of your minds from that point on until you greeted him in the JFK airport terminal the next morning, shy smiles on your faces: is it dangerous to enter into the impending situation of living together? Are you really ready to be in such constant close proximity to the object of your affections, however oblivious you might be to them?

Before his brain could talk his heart out of it, Mark had wrapped you in a tight hug, extra thankful for the welcome since you were all he had here, in the city. You wouldn’t have missed his arrival for the world, and you told him so. You also wouldn’t have missed the chance to make him flush a deep but adorable shade of red, reaching from his rounded cheeks all the way to the tips of his ears.

In your long-term rental car, you drove him back to your apartment, enjoying the quiet sounds of surprise and amazement that spilled from his lips, generated by the city’s sights. As you passed underneath towering skyscrapers, navigated bustling avenues, and caught glimpses of world-renowned landmarks that you both had seen only in the movies when you were younger, you just knew Mark’s eyes held their signature sparkle, despite your inability to see the dark brown orbs glimmer with wonder. You kept yours on the road ahead.

His first day was spent unpacking his suitcases and bags full of possessions, one of which was his most prized: an acoustic guitar.

It had been a gift from his parents when he finished the eighth grade, and all throughout high school, he had turned to music as an escape whenever he needed it. As any new musician does, Mark had played around with chords, experimenting and seeing what sounded good, and before you knew it he had composed a song. Another one followed, then another, and by the end of his freshman year he had written enough to fill an entire album if he so wished.

The guitar had heard every note, every lyric, carried every melody from his heart into the world. It had grown to be a part of him, a worldly sliver of his soul in the form of a simple musical instrument that could convey every hope and every dream, every concern or every frustration. Every love confession. Though that wasn’t saying much, since he only had eyes for you. You didn’t know it, but one of those songs was about you. For you.

You and Mark’s circle of friends tried to set you two up one day in the school’s band room after hours, with the excuse that the second-youngest of the group, Chenle, had forgotten his piano sheet music in there. They sent you to retrieve it, which you only agreed to do after being persuaded by the boy’s intimidating but still lovable pout.

With no sheet music in sight, your eyes landed instead on a diligent Mark that appeared to be the only sign of life in the room, plucking away at the strings as the sun set outside. You had sat with him for a while, neglecting your task and listening to him strum gracefully, softly murmuring lyrics that sounded like your name at one point. You didn’t think much of it, though, not making the connection behind the rest of the words coming out of his mouth and accompanying the chords. His love song was left unacknowledged by the subject of it themselves, and that was both the first and last time he ever attempted to confess to you.

He wondered if now that you were sharing an apartment, he would let something slip by accident. What would he do then?

University had other plans, though, and his fears were temporarily relieved. So fortunately and unfortunately, you were so occupied with schoolwork that trying to balance dating, or even mere thoughts of doing so, with all of your other responsibilities would have been exhausting, not to mention impossible.

Snapping out of your memory-induced daze, you realize that you nearly wandered off the path into a deep snowbank, only aware of this fact because Mark catches you by the wrist and pulls you back toward him to walk at his side. His fingers stay curled around your forearm as you approach a famous bridge, stepping to the side and gazing down at the icy waters below, calm and rippling with the chilly breeze.

“What do you want for Christmas?”

You honestly haven’t thought about it yet, so you can’t give Mark a definite answer. The same goes for him, both of you leaning against the brick railing in a comfortable silence.

In Mark’s mind though, he knows what he wants to give you: something to complement your own equivalent of his guitar, a large collection of handwritten letters and notes from your childhood and school days. Sentimental by nature, you had saved every colorful post-it note one of your friends would slip through the narrow slats of your locker, every birthday card received over the years, every thoughtful postcard from someone’s vacation.

Your favorites are undoubtedly the always-awkward Christmas cards that your friends’ families consistently mail out each December, by far the most humorous parts of your growing collection. You always found yourself chuckling at the pictures displayed on the front. Eyes bright with mirth, you would observe their forced smiles and arms slung carelessly over siblings’ shoulders, their eyes flickering between the camera and something going on behind it, probably the family pet getting into trouble across the yard. You pitied the photographers, surely beyond frustrated as they would try to get everyone to stand still for more than five measly seconds. Mouths were clamped shut and for a brief moment, the air was void of complaints of how itchy someone’s sweater was.

Then the camera would snap, capturing an image that was simply “good enough.” They’d plaster it on the card and in a few days, it would magically appear in the mailboxes of relatives and close friends. Grandparents would overlook the uncomfortable expressions and focus instead on how fast the kids were growing up. You didn’t blame them. Even in four years’ worth of cards, so much could change. In between fits of laughter, you’d stare in awe at the way your friends grew into their features, only becoming more handsome with time and some growing so tall that they even towered over their fathers. You always kept the letters they included, too, detailing the highlights of the year that was soon to come to an end by the time they dropped it into a nearby mailbox.

And like he could read your mind, Mark makes an offhand comment right then and there. “My folks texted me the other day to ask for our address. You know, for the Christmas card.”

“Oh, really?”

“Yeah,” he laughs. “Shame I couldn’t be there for the family photos this year.”

“Is it really a shame, though?” You prod, tilting your head a bit at the boy. “You always told me you couldn’t stand waiting around for the so-called ‘right lighting’ and all that.”

“Well, I couldn’t, but now that I’m not there I wish I could go back to those days. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, you know?”

“Right,” you sigh, thinking about how the same saying could easily apply to the way you felt about Mark all throughout your first year of university.

You have a box, made of a dark mahogany wood and lined with elegant golden trim, where you keep all of these letters, these handwritten memories and souvenirs from some of the happiest moments in your life. A gift from a past Christmas, your family had your initials engraved onto the front in a loopy cursive font, making it truly unique and utterly irreplaceable. And, you’ll soon come to realize, valuable.

Mark remembers it well, remembers the many times you’ve shown him its contents, remembers how his eyes sometimes land on the delicate container resting beneath the windowsill in your room, sunlight catching the accents. He knows how much those letters mean to you, and he also knows how much you love returning the favor.

That’s why he wants to give you the tools you need to do just that, and to do it well.

You’ve always been one for writing thank-you notes for any and every gift you receive, your parents having ingrained the habit in you since you were very young. Slowly, crayons turned into pencils and lead became ink. To this day you remain unfazed by the increasing amount of yellowing papers residing in the letter box, but the words imprinted on them never quite fade, strong enough to withstand the test of time.

Too many times in high school Mark would find you, hunched over your dining room table in frustration with a stack of letters beside your arm that you deemed “failed” because your handwriting was bad, or something of the sort. Usually it was the other way around, him being the one in need of comfort, but on those days your roles were reversed.

He had always wondered why you didn’t have fancier supplies that were more suited to your task, but he supposes now that maybe it simply wasn’t an option for you and your family. So a stationery set seems like the perfect gift for you this year.

On a similar note, you’ve already decided what you’re getting him: a guitar case. You happened upon a sleek leather one while browsing the website of a popular music store, coincidentally with a location not too far from your apartment.

Now it’s no longer a question of what to get the other, but how. As university students living on your own, money is scarce. Unknowingly, you both contemplate this concern as you walk side by side, returning to the start of the path that you set out on at least a half hour ago.

This stroll of yours was supposed to clear your minds, but why are they racing even more than before?

There’s no time to worry now, though, and for the next week, your thoughts are forced to shift back to the topic of school and midterms and all your academic endeavors.

Your exam week is over before you know it, and the two of you return to your apartment after the last one only to collapse onto your respective beds, beyond exhausted.

The dreary Friday afternoon clearly calls for a nap, but unbeknownst to you, Mark decides to seize the opportunity that has so conveniently presented itself to him: a chance for him to go out and buy your gift without suspicion. He drops his backpack on the carpet next to his dresser and sighs, wondering if what he’s about to do will be worth it. But it’s you, of course it’ll be worth it.

Thus, his next move is done with a heavy heart. He’s been forced by a lack of funds to come to a decision about your gift, and a difficult one at that. The only thing he can think of doing to even come close to affording a nice stationery set is to sell some things in exchange for cash. Namely, the most valuable item he owns: his beloved guitar. He doesn’t really want to, but deep down he knows that a true friendship warrants the occasional sacrifice. He’s done some research on a nearby pawn shop, and however sketchy those kinds of places may seem, it’s his only feasible option at the moment, with just a week left until Christmas Day.

After making sure you’re fast asleep, he not-so-stealthily slips out of your shared flat, his actions far from silent but even so, you don’t wake up. Mark winces at the unintended high volume of pulling the front door shut behind him, sticking his hand into his jeans pocket and relaxing when he feels his keys at the bottom of the fabric compartment. Guitar strung over his shoulder by the flimsy, fraying strap, he sets off.

With his phone in hand and directions to the pawn shop displayed on the screen, he strides through the lobby of the apartment building and pushes the revolving door, stepping onto the busy sidewalk and into the cold winter air. Shoppers crowd the pavement with hands full of department store tote bags, crinkling loudly as they pass by one another. Shoulders knock together and heels click against the concrete, just some of the many sounds of the city that Mark is still growing used to hearing.

A few blocks and several wrong turns later, he finds himself on a quieter street, standing in front of the shop. It’s dimly lit inside and looks almost abandoned, the letters painted on the window chipped and faded from the wear and weather of past years. A soft bell rings when he lets himself in, searching for some sort of employee.

From behind a cluttered shelf a tall man emerges, the shabby name tag pinned to his vest reading “Johnny.” Well, he’s not some shifty-eyed, balding man wearing a muscle shirt stained with grease. New York continues to be full of surprises.

His dark hair looks neat, the jacket he’s wearing free of any wrinkles and face young but chiseled, high cheekbones prominent.

“How can I help you today?” Johnny booms, stepping behind the counter and absentmindedly sifting through some loose change in bottom of the cash register.

Mark gulps, “I’d like to sell something.” Still not entirely sure he wants to do this, he instinctively tugs on the strap resting atop the fabric of his wool jacket.

“Well, you’ve come to the right place,” Johnny assures with a small laugh. “What did you have in mind?”

Taking a deep breath, Mark slides the guitar off his shoulder and holds it near his chest for a moment, before extending his arms out towards the counter.

“A guitar, huh? We don’t see many of these,” the tall man comments. “Are you sure? It seems pretty valuable to you in more ways than one.”

Mark’s fingertips trace the strings for the last time and he decides to just get it over with, before he can change his mind. His hands are shaky as he gently places the instrument down on the counter in front of Johnny, taking a step back once he’s done so. “I don’t have much of a choice. I need the money to buy a gift for my… uh, my friend.”

Johnny raises an eyebrow, “Just a friend? Or a special someone?”

“They are special,” Mark confirms, noncommittal to either title that Johnny suggested.

“They must be if you’re willing to give up something like this for them. Okay, that’ll be…”

Johnny tells him what the guitar is worth, matching the amount with a stack of cash and a few old coins, rusty but still holding their value.

Despite the pain of letting something so meaningful go, a bit of joy creeps into Mark’s heart as he realizes that now he can give you a gift that will hopefully become just as meaningful to you as his guitar was to him.

He thanks Johnny and bids him goodbye, step lighter than when he entered, much to his surprise.

It’s the next day when you and Mark find yourselves getting into the Christmas spirit for the first time this season. After he had returned yesterday, you were still out cold on your bed, so he chose to follow your example and do the same. The both of you had slept the rest of the day and almost the entirety of the following morning away, waking up just before noon.

With a sudden burst of energy you spring up from the sheets, overtaken by your excitement for the nearing holiday as you dig out the artificial Christmas tree you had bought last year from your closet. Sure, it may seem lazy of you, but let’s face it: there was no easy way to find a real one in New York City, let alone lug it down the streets, through an elevator and down a narrow hallway to a door it wouldn’t even fit through.

Mark hears the loud rustling of various decorations as he begins to stir, leisurely getting out of bed and checking one of his dresser drawers to make sure he hadn’t merely dreamed up his shopping adventure of the previous evening. There the stationery set sits, tucked safely at the back of the wooden cabinet.

The bookstore he stopped at on his way back last night had many different options to choose from, so he made sure to get one that both matched your box of letters and reminded him of you, with its color scheme and style. A surge of pride brings a smile to his features, pleased with his choice, and he pushes the drawer shut before joining you in the living area.

Your knees brush as he sits down next to you to help unpack the large but manageable box, taking out the tiers of the tree to eventually stack on top of one another. Working more quickly than usual (and probably necessary, there are six days left after all), you assign Mark to stringing the lights across your small balcony while you finish setting up the tree. You knew you shouldn’t have let him do it alone, though, because when you look over at his progress you find more lights wrapped around his body than the metal railing.

“Do you need a hand?” You question, holding back a laugh at the way the cord restricts his arm movements to the point where he can’t even reach for the handle on the sliding door.

From outside he opens his mouth to reply, but pauses, looking down at himself and the mess he’s made of the lights before meeting your eyes once more. His voice is muffled by the glass, but you hear him shout playfully, “I’m the tree now! We don’t need that one.” He tries to gesture to the one you’re currently decorating, but fails, and this time you aren’t able to contain your amusement.

“Let me help you,” you offer, joining him on the balcony and helping him untangle himself from the glowing strands. “Thanks,” Mark replies, sheepishly rubbing at the back of his neck. With your combined efforts, you manage to thread the string of lights through the railing with little to no mishaps, and both of you continue decking out the apartment with other seasonal items for the next several hours.

At some point during the afternoon one of you decided to connect their phone to a speaker and play some music, all Christmas songs of course. As the classic version of “Jingle Bell Rock” begins to blare throughout the living room, Mark abandons his task momentarily to walk over to you. He extends a hand down to you, sitting on the floor, and you accept the invitation to stand up with a questioning look.

“Dance with me?”

It’s hardly a platonic request, Mark realizes once the words leave his lips, but even so you don’t shy away, glancing down at your feet with a slight trace of bashfulness in the action.

He intertwines your fingers somewhat loosely, placing his non-dominant hand on your waist and beginning to sway, slowly at first but then his movements become more exaggerated, shoulders tilting dramatically to one side after the other and straying from the rhythm of the music. You join Mark in drawing out the jesting movements, losing yourself in laughter and leaning forward to bury your face in his shoulder, the heat of your breath hitting his skin through the thin t-shirt he’s wearing. In one last attempt to keep the joyful smile on your face, he steps back a bit and holds your wrist above your head to twirl you in a circle.

The electric guitar in the song fades as you collapse onto the carpet, recovering from your fit of giggles. The sun has begun to sink in the sky, you can tell by the gold and orange glow that your apartment becomes bathed in as it sets, inching closer to the horizon and eventually becoming hidden by tall skyscrapers in the distance.

Satisfied with your progress so far, you both decide to call it a day, though in truth there aren’t many decorations left to put out. A few stray ornaments and some garlands remain, still packed up in boxes that you would need help reaching. You’re also eager to get your mind off of the way your heart was palpitating as you danced with Mark, your roommate and friend but nothing more, nothing less. You have enough to worry about at the moment, not wanting to add potential feelings for the boy into the mix. Shit, you think, you still need to buy his gift.

“What should we watch?” Mark asks, scrolling through the list of movie choices on the TV screen.

“I don’t really care, anything’s fine.”

His finger presses a button on the remote to select a film at random, the intro playing as you scan the refrigerator shelves for a frozen meal. Hopefully it’s not one of those cheesy holiday romances.

Settling down on the couch a few minutes later, you with the warmed-up container in your lap and Mark holding a cup of ramen noodles, both of you fall into a comfortable chatter about the movie. Thank god it’s a comedy.

Occasionally you find yourself diverting your attention from the harsh display and directing it over to the panes of floor-to-ceiling windows, where you watch more and more lights flicker on in the distance, illuminating the urban landscape as night falls. The view is breathtaking, but so is the way your face softly glows with their warmth, even from blocks away. Not that Mark would ever tell you that, of course.

“I’m going out!” Mark hears shuffling from outside his bedroom the next morning, your voice instantly bringing him to his senses. Curious, he shoots out of bed and flings the door open to find you, one arm stuck through the sleeve of your coat and the other buried in a bag, but it’s not the one you usually bring when you leave the flat. Eyes wide and panicked at the boy’s unexpected appearance, you clutch it to your chest with a visible amount of difficulty, Mark notices.

“Where are you off to?” He squints at the brightness of the living room, the early morning light pouring in through the glass on the far wall.

“...Maybe I can’t tell you,” you respond with a huff, slinging the heavy bag over your shoulder and pulling the rest of your coat on.

“What do you mean, you can’t—oh.”

“Nice going, genius,” you shake your head, feigning disappointment. “It’s not like it’s Christmas this week or anything.”

“My bad, sorry.” Mark winces and rakes a hand through his bedhead, abashed.

“I’ll be back soon, okay?”

With that, you step into the hallway and offer a parting smile over your shoulder, shutting the front door behind you.

At least your being out of the apartment gives Mark time to wrap your gift. All he has to do is figure out how.

Johnny gets a familiar feeling when he sees you enter the pawn shop, fumbling with your things and reluctantly gazing at whatever’s in the tote you’re holding. Are you also about to make an exchange you could potentially regret?

“One second,” you excuse yourself as you step up to the counter, placing the heavy bag down and removing the large item from inside: your letter box, minus its contents. Of course you would never get rid of those, but despite the letters and notes being so special to you, the box they were always kept in is also a significant part of your attachment and the memories you hold dear.

With a thud you set it down, Johnny glancing between the hesitation on your face and the wooden container on the counter in front of him. “Let me guess, you want to exchange this for cash?”

“Yes, sir, that’s exactly what I—” You pause, biting your tongue. “Hold on… Look, I know this is a pawn shop and that’s what people do here, but how are you so sure?”

Johnny’s gut tells him he shouldn’t give away the fact that a boy wearing the very same expression and with the same sense of purpose and determination was in here just two days earlier. So he corrects his mistake with a simple “Lucky guess” and a hearty chuckle.

Without Johnny even asking, you tell him that you’re also looking for some extra cash in order to afford a gift for your “friend,” and you say the word with so much conviction and certainty that it’s almost laughable. The information given to Johnny helps him fully connect the dots in his mind, realizing that each of you are the one the other talked about.

Before handing you the money, Johnny tears off a sheet of paper from a nearby notepad and asks you to fill out your information, most importantly your address. He has to lie a bit, saying it’s for contact purposes, but his heart is in the right place nonetheless. Just in case something goes south (and the sinking feeling in his stomach tells him that it will somehow), doing so gives him an option, even if he doesn’t know what that option might be yet.

“Thank you, Johnny, and Merry Christmas.”

“Merry Christmas!” He returns your wish cheerfully as you push the door open to leave.

“Good luck finding a gift for your ‘friend,’ too.”

You feel heat rise to your cheeks when you see his teasing use of air quotes, but still smile.

On your way back to the apartment Mark texts you and asks you to check the mail, saying he forgot to do so yesterday. When you arrive in the lobby and make your way over to the cluster of mailboxes, you’re instantly shocked to find a large cardboard box shoved into the small cubby with your and Mark’s name on it. You’re already struggling to carry the guitar case you bought for him, so you decide to make a second trip later.

A few moments after stepping out of the elevator, you knock on the door to your apartment, hoping with all your might that Mark won’t actually open it and instead just answer with a “Come in” as he always does. Your wish is, thankfully, granted, but it’s quickly followed by “Wait, wait, wait!” As it happens, he just finished wrapping your gift and needs another minute or two to tuck it away somewhere until the big day arrives. “Can you stay out there until I say?”

“Sure,” you reply, “but I’m going to have to ask you to do the same.”

“How about I stay in my room while you come in and do… whatever you need to?”

“Sounds good.”

With his door closed, Mark hears the front one open and shut as you enter. Trying not to make any noise that would give away the size of the item you just bought, you finally settle for hiding the leather case underneath your bed, concealed by the drapery attached to its frame that hovers just above the floor.

Mark had hastily placed the now-wrapped (though not elegantly so) stationery set back into his dresser, so he’s already out of his room by the time you leave yours. “Any letters or packages?” He questions when he sees you.

“Oh, right!” You snap your fingers, “We do have a package but my hands were full, so I’ll bring it up right now.”

“Eggnog?”

While the box had looked fairly ordinary from the outside, upon opening it and glancing at the return address you learned it was actually anything but that. Mark’s and your parents had sent a holiday care package of sorts, including both of your families’ Christmas cards and a carton of eggnog, along with some small gifts that are meant to be saved for the morning of the 25th. Also mixed in are a few small decorations (not that you need more), some baking supplies complete with a copy of the recipe for the cookies you make every year, and a soft pair of mittens for each of you. He hopes you don’t realize that one of the items is a sprig of mistletoe.

“You don’t like eggnog?” You ask, stunned. Mark shrugs, “I don’t really care for milk but it’s the thought that counts, I guess.”

That evening you and Mark take another stroll, this time choosing to stay on the streets and admire the festively adorned buildings and shops as you pass by them. Admiring Christmas lights at this time of year is nothing new to you and Mark. In fact, when you lived in Canada you would do the same thing. The only difference is that back then, it involved driving through quiet suburban neighborhoods and not ambling through crowded city streets and alleyways on foot.

Snowflakes begin to cascade from the heavens as you make your way back around to the block where you live. Mark sticks his tongue out to catch one of the small crystals, and it immediately melts in his mouth, eliciting a high-pitched laugh from the boy. Snow is also something you both are more than used to by now, having grown up with white Christmases all your lives. It makes you wonder if the holiday season would be the same without it.

“You know what we should do?” Mark turns to you just as you’re about to enter the apartment building again. “Go ice skating at Rockefeller Center.”

“Mark, c’mon, you know stuff like that is overpriced. And besides, I can’t skate to save my life. Remember—”

“That time in sophomore year? You bet I do,” he laughs as he remembers how you clumsily fell not even two seconds after stepping onto the ice with your skates, and then refused to let go of the railing for the rest of the day. The elevator whirs to life, climbing floor after floor with ease.

“Hey,” you offer, “we can still go and watch people skate, I’m sure there’s some place to sit.”

“And we can look at the Christmas tree, too,” Mark adds, eyes brightening at the idea.

“Right. I forget you haven’t seen it in person before.” The cabin doors open with a ding and you step out, your eyes landing on the door to your apartment a few yards away.

When you turn on the TV, Mark becomes mesmerized by the movie that’s playing, since it takes place in NYC and he recognizes so many places from actually being there. He scrambles to remove his jacket and beanie, plopping down onto the couch once they’re safely hooked on the coat rack.

Watching him, you sigh. Would anything really change if you were dating? Assuming your feelings were returned, of course, but you can’t imagine that your relationship would differ much. You certainly wouldn’t go on extravagant dates, or buy expensive gifts for each other, but that’s not what love is about, anyway. With the exception of a few extra hugs and the addition of kisses, along with more forms of physical affection in general (actually, scratch that, Mark’s always been awkward with those kinds of things), you’d still be by each other’s side just like always.

As you sit down next to him and feel an arm wrap around your shoulder, you don’t shrug it off, instead embracing the warm and fuzzy feeling in your heart that you can’t blame on the holiday season this time.

Mark’s glad, too. He’s been working up the courage to do that all day.

Late that night, you quietly tiptoe into the living area, retrieving an old box from your move-in last year that will fit his gift perfectly, and won’t give away what’s inside. Your hands fold and tape the wrapping paper with care, tying a neat ribbon once you’re done. Sure, you had to give up something that meant a lot to you in order to afford Mark’s present, but the gains outweigh the losses. You find comfort in imagining the way his face will surely light up with pure joy on Christmas morning, drifting off to sleep with ease once you’ve hidden the rectangular parcel back underneath your bed.

A few days pass and soon it’s the 23rd, and you join Mark at the railing of the ice rink, of course on the side with solid ground. “Ice is solid ground,” Mark had corrected, but you stood firm in your words. “More like slippery ground, if you ask me.”

Luckily you had been allowed to stand here for free, because god only knows what small, simple thing someone would be charged for in New York. It’s happened to you before, and you’re not even a tourist.

Mark’s dark eyes gaze up at the 75-foot-tall tree in wonder, pupils dilating and reflecting the tens of thousands of bright lights strung through the dark green branches. They seem to sparkle with sheer amazement. Just then someone skates a little too close to the section of railing you’re leaning on, startling Mark out of his LED-induced daze and putting the most adorable look of surprise on his face.

His focus shifts to the people on the ice, wearing sweaters and jackets of every color imaginable, and the sight is still as beautiful as the looming Christmas tree above. He notices some couples, holding onto one another or skating hand-in-hand, and it makes him wonder if that could be you two someday, at a future Christmas, or if it’s an idea absurd enough for an alternate reality.

Mark sees you shiver out of the corner of his eye, and it’s his cue to suggest returning home for the evening. In a very cliché and boyfriend-esque gesture he offers you his jacket, but you decline, insisting that it’s not far and assuring him that you’ll be okay.

Back in your heated flat, you twist open the lid of the eggnog carton and pour a small glass for yourself. “Are you sure you don’t want some?” You call out to Mark from the kitchen, snatching one of the cookies you made the other day and finding a paper plate for the thin shortbread wafer, lined with elegant white icing and dusted with sprinkles.

“I already told you, I don’t like eggnog!”

“Have you even tried it before?” Mark grumbles at your nagging. You really sound like his mom right now.

“No…”

You appear at the other end of the couch, holding out a small cup with just a sip or two of eggnog in it. “Try it. You never know.”

He knows you won’t leave until you see him lift it to his lips for yourself, so he does. Immediately the sweet drink overwhelms his taste buds, and also leaves a slight sting on his tongue.

“What’s in this stuff?” He coughs, nose scrunching a bit from the strong taste. Surprisingly, though, he doesn’t hate it. Following you back to the kitchen, Mark pours a full glass this time, already gulping it down.

“Uh,” you scan the ingredients on the back of the carton once he sets it down on the counter, “milk, cream, sugar, eggs…”

“...whiskey? What the hell?”

“It has alcohol,” Mark slurs, his giggling interrupted by a hiccup. Having never drank before, he’s undeniably a lightweight, and even a little bit can get him wasted almost instantly.

“Mom and Dad must have mixed something up, because they definitely didn’t mean to send us alcoholic eggnog.”

Sure enough, back home in Canada your parents are wondering why they only have the kid-friendly stuff in their fridge.

Mark latches on to you, arm curling lazily around your waist. Great, he’s one of those people that gets clingy when they’re drunk. “Try some,” he whines, nuzzling into your shoulder a little.

“Are you crazy?”

“No one will know,” he laughs, hiccuping again. Giving in to his adorably drunken pout, you take one sip from your original glass but no more, an unpleasant buzz taking over your whole mouth.

Not looking forward to finding a hangover cure on Christmas Eve of all days, you pray that you’ll stay sober enough to take care of the tipsy boy, who’s currently pressing his face into the back of your neck and—shit, did he just kiss you there? You really don’t need this right now.

“Mark, you’re drunk, okay? Stop it,” you caution.

“But I love you,” he murmurs, warm breath fanning your skin, and you want to kick yourself for almost saying it back. Does he even mean it, though? Alcohol makes people say crazy things, things they don’t mean, so you shouldn’t get your hopes up. You unhook his arm from your torso and turn around to push against his chest, frustrated. “Let’s get you to bed.”

He seems to have just remembered something, because he ignores you and instead goes over to where the care package was still sitting, digging into the bottom and pulling out something you hadn’t noticed before. “Look,” Mark declares in a nasal voice, “mistletoe.”

You exasperatedly hang your head, desperate to slam it into the nearest wall. With much difficulty, you eventually manage to get him tucked underneath the blanket, leaving a glass of water on his nightstand for when he wakes up. “Get some sleep,” you say simply.

He tells you goodnight with a fond mumble of your name as you shut the bedroom door behind you. Rubbing your eyes, you yawn before turning off the lights and heading to bed yourself, trying to block out the events that had just taken place.

Your head aches when you wake up the next morning, and you feel like garbage, so you can only imagine how much worse Mark must be doing. Quickly chugging a water bottle, you reluctantly go to knock on his door, hearing a pained groan once you enter. He’s sitting up, chin resting in one hand and the other anchored onto the heavy comforter covering his legs.

“How are you feeling?” The obvious question with an even more obvious answer makes Mark wince. “Awful.”

“Sorry.” It’s silent for a moment, Mark pressing three fingers to his throbbing forehead and you staring aimlessly at the wall. “I knew that eggnog was a bad idea.”

“You were the one that told me to try it!”

“I didn't know it had alcohol in it!”

You sigh, dejected. Something tells Mark that your head isn’t the only thing hurting.

“Hey, I know that look. What’s wrong?” He prods, voice soft and gentle and altogether unlike how it had been last night. You meet his eyes for a moment, about to speak but biting your lip at the last second. Mark’s brain puts two and two together at your expression.

“Oh god, did I say something? Do something?”

“Yeah, actually,” you reply in a huff. “First you kissed my neck, then you told me you loved me, and then you held up a clump of mistletoe and implied that we should kiss underneath it.”

His memories of the previous evening are all a blur, so he truly would have no idea what happened if you hadn’t just said something. Mark knows he screwed up, bad.

You tense when you feel him place his hand over yours, but you don’t snatch it away. After collecting his thoughts, Mark clears his throat.

“Look, I… I know that’s not the best way for you to find out how someone feels about you. But I’m completely sober, and I can tell you that I meant what I said last night.”

“You promise?”

“Promise,” Mark replies.

“...Can you say it again, then?”

He blushes, “That I…?”

You nod, the corners of your lips lifting into a small smile.

“I love you,” Mark tells you for the second time in the last 24 hours, but this time you know you can believe him. The pain of your hangover goes away for a moment as he takes your jaw in his hands and connects your lips, just barely retaining the buzz of the alcohol but not enough to bother you. Slowly you kiss him back, sinking down onto the mattress beside him.

Mark pulls away for air a few seconds later, thumb grazing your cheek lovingly. “Does this mean we’re—”

“Dating? If you want it to, then sure,” your finger traces swirly shapes on the small of his back while you assure him that neither of you need to rush into anything if you aren’t ready.

“I don’t want things to change, though.”

“Who said they have to? I’ve been thinking about it for a while, and we’re already pretty close, you know? Making it ‘official’ doesn’t necessarily mean ‘different,’ so...”

Mark hums in agreement, “You’re right. Okay, I can live with that.”

“And I can’t live another second without food. I’m making breakfast,” you quip, reverting back to the usual banter between you and him.

“I’ll cook the eggs,” Mark insists as you both make your way out of his bedroom and into the kitchen.

“You absolutely will not!”

The night before Christmas had started out unlike any that you’d ever experienced before, with you confronting your now-boyfriend about a drunken love confession the previous day. But now, it’s ending just like every year, with you cozy and curled up in front of the television as the last few segments of the news play.

It’s the coldest Christmas Eve in years. You learned this after the meteorologist had informed viewers of the record only a few minutes earlier, inadvertently planting an idea in Mark’s mind.

Right as you’re about to turn in for the night, setting a plate of decorated cookies and a glass of milk down on the end table (as is tradition in your families, no matter how old you are), Mark holds out his arms like a child might. “Can we…?” He asks in a quiet voice, nervous to finish his sentence.

“Huh?”

The boy inhales sharply, “It’s freezing. Do you wanna sleep in my bed tonight?” His cheeks flush a deep red that’s almost the color of Christmas itself.

You’re slightly taken aback, and then you remember it’s just Mark. “Sure, why not,” you answer with a light shrug and a smile on your face.

“But no funny business,” you inform him as you climb under the sheets together, instantly happy with your choice to join him because double the people means double the body heat. “I wouldn’t dream of it,” Mark replies, pecking your lips. His wrist finds the warm skin of your neck and you flinch away.

“Your hands are cold!” He just snickers at your whining.

The two of you fall asleep more quickly than you ever have on Christmas Eve, usually overcome with nerves and excitement, but now, as two college-aged kids, you’re comfortable and not rushing the morning’s arrival at all, content in each other’s arms for the moment.

You feel like you’re 10 years old again as you rush into the living room at 8am the next day, the bright, early morning sky lighting up your entire apartment. At the base of your Christmas tree sits a humble amount of presents, composed of the two that you bought for each other plus the half-dozen small ones from your parents.

You hand Mark one of the cookies from the end table and grab one for yourself, taking a bite of the sweet treat as you sit down and motioning for him to do the same.

“Open yours first,” you say eagerly, referring to your gift for him. Mark shakes his head and points to what he got you, “No, you go first.”

“Fine, we’ll open them at the same time.” Mark nods, satisfied with the compromise and handing you both the packages.

“On three. One, two…”

The final number barely leaves your lips before you both begin tearing into the paper excitedly, Mark reaching for the flaps on the box and you unfolding the tissue paper.

When you each see what the other gifted you with, it’s completely silent, save for the TV playing a Christmas Day special in the background.

He gazes blankly at you, licking his lips as his eyes dart between the guitar case and your expression.

“I appreciate the gift, but I…” Mark pauses, unsure how to tell you this.

You don’t say a word, raising your eyebrows as a signal for him to continue.

“I sold my guitar to pay for your gift,” he breathes.

“You what? Mark, that guitar means everything to you! Why would you do that?”

“Because you’re worth it, of course!”

“Well, I did the same thing,” you break the news with an unamused expression. “I sold my letter box to pay for that case.”

His eyes become impossibly wider at that, nearly bulging out of their sockets. “Are you serious?”

“Dead serious.”

You groan and lie down on the floor, beyond discouraged. “Let me guess, the pawn shop on 23rd?”

“Yep.”

“Hey, wait a minute.” An idea hits Mark like a rush of cold air. “Maybe we can work out a deal or something.”

“Meaning?”

“We go back and see if we can trade in our new gifts for enough money to get our old things back.”

“One, I doubt it’s that easy, and two, pretty much everything is closed on Christmas Day.” You’re half tempted to laugh because of how ironic this situation is.

Mark sighs, “I guess that makes sense.”

“We can still try, though.”

Sure enough, the pawn shop is dark, even more so than usual, and the door doesn’t budge. A sign taped to the window from the inside confirms your fear: Closed on Christmas. Gloved hands pressed onto the glass, you and Mark admit your defeat. You had been bested by the giving spirit of the holiday season, almost too generous for your own good.

But it’s the message that the day itself stands for after all, for putting aside material value and doing something out of the kindness of your heart just to make someone else happy. That’s what it’s all about, and you and Mark had personally experienced it this year.

So you’re surprised to find two boxes leaning on the wall beside the door to your apartment the next morning, shapes oddly familiar. Could it be?

Just hours earlier, the hallway surveillance cameras caught a tall man striding down the corridor, carrying those exact packages under his arms. In the video he pulls out a scrap of paper and a pen from his coat pocket, scribbling a short message before tucking it underneath the ribbon of the larger parcel and leaving the building just as quickly as he came.

You and Mark’s only clue as to who had returned your items is a messy ‘J’ at the end of the note attached to the box containing his guitar. Exchanging knowing glances, you both grin, squeezing your intertwined hands with the same name in mind.

...So what if Johnny had to take a bit of money out of his own paycheck to cover the cost of the items? Besides, it’s Christmas. And his boss never has to know.

[yvainegelinemarie]

The bois tell MC how proud they are of your hardwork and they see you giving your all!!

𝚨𝖇𝖔𝖚𝖙 𝖒𝖞 𝖜𝖗𝖎𝖙𝖎𝖓𝖌: ✨ ALL my writing prompts are gender inclusive and promote love, kindness and fun for all! 

✨I know that each and every one of our boys would love and support each and everyone of you and I hope that my readings portray that comforting, accepting and loving nature through and through~ 

✨And with that I hope you Spookies enjoy~~

☪ 𝕱𝖆𝖓𝖉𝖔𝖒: Mr. Love Queen’s Choice

☪ 𝕽𝖆𝖙𝖎𝖓𝖌:13+ No Warnings, Fluff, Encouraging, A Pick Me Up. 

☪ 𝕱𝖔𝖗𝖒𝖆𝖙 : Quick Read, bullet points

𝚨𝖚𝖙𝖍𝖔𝖗'𝖘 𝚴𝖔𝖙𝖊: I have been feeling kind of low and crummy these past few days trying really hard to put myself out there to chase after a dream of mine and I wasn’t expecting to be really hit hard with so many highs and lows and when it seems like you are stepping out of your comfort zone and facing your biggest fears at 90 to nothing there are a lot of times that you just need to crawl into someone's arms and to just let them tell you that you are good enough and that they see you working hard.

So for anyone else who has been trenching through this tough year and trying out new things that may scare you half to death, I want you to know that your favorite boy see’s you kicking ass and that he’s well, proud of you. 

Even if you have one particular boy as your go to I suggest checking them all out since each of them have different types of encouragement of different types of situations. Or at least read the one you feel like fits what you need to hear the most right now (and well, of course your fav.)

VICTOR | CH03 | 0 : 00 : 01

✨For those who are struggling with reaching their dreams✨

Hell knows when was the last time you have had a good night's sleep.

You couldn’t help but to be on your toes now glued to your computer screen in your darkened bedroom.

Completely unaware of the sun slowly creeping its way through the blinds.

This project was something you had only dreamed about producing years ago,

and in 3 days it was going to be launched to the public. You have done plenty of projects before but never something as passionate and as close to home as this one was.

This project was taking out a deeper side of you that you have never shown before and deep down you knew that it was time for you to express it. But that doesn’t mean you didn’t spend the last 4 months terrified of the outcome.

Your tired eyes reread the entry over and over again as each time you only feel your heart grow more and more anxious and your eyes fill up with tears. Can I really share this with the world? What if people think that this is all fake? Will I really be able to accept the criticism?

With your mind running on it’s own you missed your phone vibrating next to you. You had already received 3 miss calls from Victor in just the last 30 minutes.

It wasn’t until the ding of the voicemail that you snapped back to reality. 

Sliding your lock screen open and taking in a deep breath, ready for whatever lecture Victor was going to throw at you next.

In the Voicemail Victor’s voice opened with a deep sigh. “You better not be asleep, especially after you promised to have breakfast with me this morning. I’ll be arriving at your apartment in 20 minutes, you better be ready du-”

His words were cut off when you were startled by your phone ringing again, seeing victor’s name pop up on the caller ID. You quickly glanced down at the time on the voicemail that was sent 23 minutes ago?! Why did your phone just now decide to remind you?! You knew now from Victor’s call that it meant that he had arrived and you, racoon eyed, sleep deprived and still in your clothes from the day before felt a rush of tears swell up in your throat.

You were so focused on this project that you completely forgot about something that you were looking forward to so excitedly just a few months ago. 

You answered Victor’s call and brought the phone to your ear. “Dummy, don’t tell me that you just now woke up?” Victor said in his usual stern and playful tone. You choked on your tears before letting out a little hic. “I-I’m sorry…” You said brokenly as you heard the sound of shuffling, the click of Victor’s seat belt unbuckling and the slam of his car door followed by a soft beep indicating him locking it. “Why are you crying?” His voice instantly became concerned as he was quickly heading into your apartment complex. 

“I-I don’t want to talk about it...it’s silly.”

“Nothing is silly if it’s making you cry so early in the morning. When I get to your apartment, tell me what is bothering you.” He said bluntly, leaving you no room to make excuses like always. Even in times like this Victor was sure that he was going to effectively fix your problem. 

When he arrived at your apartment you slowly opened the door with your head hung down low as you looked just like you did moments before, sniffling softly. 

Victor gently put his hand on yours causing you to open the door quickly before embracing you in a hug as his soft, deep voice tickled your ear. “Dummy, don’t tell me you stayed up all night working?” He said as you hugged his suit jacket tightly, feeling his heartbeat against yours, his was a bit more fast paced. He must have been really worried, you thought before he let out a large sigh. “You always do this,” his soft voice continued. “Working all day and all night when your projects are close to the end. I know that you want to make sure that everything is right...but i've told you this before, there is no need to bear all of this on your own. Let me know when you are stressed.”

You squeezed his jacket lightly as you looked up at him, tears streaming down his face. “You don’t get it Victor. “Someday I want to be just as great as you. I want to be hardworking, successful, a-and I want to be proud of what I do. I want you to be proud of me too.” Your voice sunk as your hands slipped off his large back to rub your tired eyes.

Victor let out a deep sigh before lifting your face up to his.

“Dummy, you think I got to become this successful overnight? And just because I am good at handling my money doesn’t mean that I am good at everything. After all, I didn’t check up on you enough or tell you how great you really are.”

“What do you mean?” You questioned before getting cut off by a smooth and minty kiss as Victor’s lips warmed yours. He pulled away slowly as his silvered eyes observed yours intensely. “You are already great ____. And the only way for you to get better is to have confidence in yourself. As long as you are doing everything in your power to succeed, then you will. That and I am already very proud of you dummy, so you should be proud of you too.” 

Your eyes lit up widely as you were left at a loss for words. Victor was complimenting you! “I-” You didn’t have much time to speak before you were swept up into his arms and led over to your bed as your cheeks flushed red. “U-um Victor?” You said.

 “We're not doing that this early in the morning.” He said with a sigh before placing you on your bed lightly. “Get some rest.” He added pulling back the covers on your bed.

“But what about our breakfast date?” You stuttered out as you didn’t want to miss this opportunity. 

“We can go another time. And I’ll just cook you something here while you catch up on a bit of sleep.” He said with a soft smile.

“Ah...Okay...but…” You trailed off as his smile faded away.

“What?” He said with his arms crossed.

“Well, it’s just that I really wanted to eat at that restaurant...since you talked so highly of it last time. N-not that I don’t like your cooking I like it a lot it is just that-” 

Victor then let out a deep chuckle as your cheeks flustered up.

“Dummy, I know someone who cooks as bad as you isn’t criticizing my cooking. And we will eat at the restaurant next week, as a celebration for you completing your project.”

You blinked softly in shock before brushing your hair back. “Isn’t it a bit early to be making a promise like that?” You said softly. 

“Not at all. Because I know that you will finish it, AND I know that you will do well.” He said with a handsome smile as you felt your confidence slowly start to build back up.

Victor was right, you are great and you just need to have faith in yourself that things are going to work out for you in so many beautiful ways.

After all if it wasn’t for your assertiveness and strength you wouldn’t be where you are today. 

You pulled the covers close to you falling asleep almost instantly.

When 30 minutes had passed you were woken up to the song of birds greeting the sun and the lavish smell of a french styled breakfast.

After a quick shower and a change of clothes you join Victor in your small quiet kitchen surrounded by an array of foods that you are completely in awe of. You can’t believe that you had all the ingredients in your kitchen to make this?!

Crepes cooked to perfection with your topping of choice sat neatly on your plate with a summer colored mimosa delectly placed beside it. In the center of your small table was an arrangement of different types of bread, each piece carefully sliced next to small glass bowls of butter, honey, and two hand made jams. One sweet and strawberry while the other was citrusy and tangy. 

“You made all this?” You said to Victor as you slowly sat down. 

“Of course, I wanted to make a breakfast that suits you individually. It would have been grander. But given the time and limited space. This was all I could do. I hope you like it.” He added. 

“Yes...Yes I do! It is very lovely Victor…” You say calmly while your heart beats with excitement. 

“You truly are worth something this luxurious.” Victor’s calm and creamy voice says to you amongst your meal as you can’t help but to smile and nod softly in agreement, for he was absolutely right.

SHAW | CH03 | 0 : 00 : 02

✨For those who failed and need to pick themselves back up✨

This is it, you finally decided to try to go back to college. 

You figured that having some sort of title might help you gain some more rep when you go off to meetings with other executives andddd it wouldn’t hurt to learn a new skill or two that might help you with your growing career.

But who would have known that an entrance exam and thousand word essay would be so fucking hard to write?!

You already reread the prompt question a hundred times and were still facing the devil of writer's block. Staring at the blank page for hours and hours as your mind just kept wondering off to the chorus of the last song you heard. 

Normally back in high school you would have just stepped away and tried to start writing it tomorrow...or the day after...or maybe the night of (usually the night of) but now you really didn’t have any other time to write this paper unless it was right now!

Because you still had a job to do. There is absolutely no other time that you can squeeze in to write this paper unless you are writing it right the F now!! 

You ruffle up your hair in frustration and stomp your feet Come on stupid brain!!! Just give me something to fucking write!!! You curse at yourself only to find that it slumps you into a cycle of self depreciation.

Am I really so dumb that I can’t even easily pass a college eterance exam? Even Shaw makes straight A’s and he spends all of his time running from the cops in alley ways or playing hooky at the bar all night long. 

You lay your head down on the keyboard of your laptop as the letter h just types itself quickly across the pages where your essay should be. You let out a long sigh, laying there in silence as not a single thought floats by.

You soon sit back up, convincing yourself that if you start writing out nonsense then maybe something will come to mind. You then take a long stretch before tapping your hand down lightly on the keyboard. Then you hear the dreadful click of your mouse. 

Your eyes watch in doom as the essay page filled with the letter H soon disappears and a happy “Thank you for submitting your application to Loveland University.” pops up. 

Your heart then sinks to your ass. No way...no way!...NO WAY!! 

You quickly rise up from your chair as your breathing grows heavier and heavier. You feel your eyes foaming up with tears. Your one last opportunity is now completely screwed up all because your hand slipped?!?

Covering your mouth you begin to sob uncontrollably. Everything about today was going wrong and this was just the cherry on top. 

As you stood there crying Shaw had walked into the apartment with his skateboard and backpack in hand, sitting them down at the front entrance.

“Hey, Babe. I’m home.” His charming voice startles you. Oh great, you thought nowhere near ready to approach him about this. 

“Hey?” He says again as he makes his way through the apartment. “Where are you at?” 

Once he finds you sobbing in your office his expression turned forgien with concern.

Shaw is the WORST when it comes to comforting you but you knew that he tried his best to make you feel better. 

“Woah, woah...Babe...baby, why are we crying? What’s goin’ on?” He walks over to you, his arms open and ready to embrace you in a tight hug. 

The coolness of his leather jacket chills your heated face as you sob on his shoulder. He lets out a calming sigh as his hand rubs up and down your back, letting you get out all of your much needed cry. 

When you reach your composure enough to talk you explain to him between sniffles what had happened. Your self deprecation building up more and more before Shaw shakes his head no. 

“Hey now, stop talking shit about my girlfriend okay, only I can do that.” He said as you blink at him confused. 

“W-what?” You stumble on your word as Shaw leans over to wipe a tear off your eye. 

“Well I think that you’re really cool, and smart. And if someone like me can pass that entrance exam you can too ___.” He said.

“B-But I submitted my essay by accident already.” You lower your head defeated, ready to cry again as Shaw lets out a light chuckle before ruffling your hair.

“You know that we can call the administration and let them know what happened. They will see that it was an accident and let you submit it again. Mistakes happen babe but the longer you sit on them the longer it will take to get over them. The school doesn’t close until 8. So you have 4 hours to call them and get it fixed.” He said calmly as you nodded quietly.

Shaw was right, this was a mistake yes, and also a bit embarrassing. But it is human to make them, and everyone does. And when you make a mistake like this, dwelling on it is only holding you back from achieving your goals. 

You raised your head and clenched your fists confidently. “You’re right! For once.” You said to him.

“Hey!” Shaw laughs as he pushes you lightly causing you to giggle as well. You two playfully push one another back, poking at each other and slipping out silly names before Shaw’s arms wrap around your waist.

He kisses you lightly on the lips before smiling sweetly. “You got this, I know you do.” He said as you couldn’t help but to agree with him.

And sure enough the university understood your dilemma and sent you a new registration. 

GAVIN | CH03 | 0 : 00 : 03 

✨For those who struggle to let go of the past✨

You knew how this was going to play out. After all you have seen it time and time before.

And now you can’t help but to get a little discouraged at the disappointment that this was going to bring you. 

The past already proved it to be true after all. 

Countless failed outcomes have led you only to conclude one thing.

That this dream of yours was going to end up in complete and total failure.

But even if that was the only logical outcome you could think of you still couldn’t fight the feeling in your heart that was telling you that this WAS right. 

Yet, now here you were, stuck in limbo and unable to move forward. 

You sighed looking at your notes, you had always dreamed of one day that you would get to start your own business. Now not to read you wrong, you did love working as the CEO of your fathers company but it was seeing him build his business from the ground up that inspired you to one day do the same. 

You have spent as long as you can think back to. Brainstorming ideas, doodling logo designs and daydreaming about something that you could call your own.

And now here they come, those heart-wrenching thoughts from the past ready to quiz you and make you think, am I really good enough to have this dream? Do I deserve it? 

All those past experiences of people questioning your skills, telling you that you aren’t prepared enough and that you’d never be able to be the person you dreamed of just makes you want to curl up into a ball and give up. 

Even for a moment the thought of maybe they ARE right, floods in and you feel yourself wanting to cry, believing in it just for a moment as your ego tries to back up the negativity with ‘facts’ to prove it. 

You crawl your way back into bed heartbroken and honestly just wishing that all your thoughts, good and bad, would just fade away.

You pull the covers over your face as you begin to sniffle as your throat clumps up, ready for the tears to fall from your eyes.

And right on que they do. You bundle up closer and closer to yourself, sitting in silence with the haunting memories of the past.

You soon feel the bed sink down a bit before a warm hand runs it’s way up and down your side.

You choke on your tears more, knowing that it is Gavin and there was no hiding your tears from him now.

You felt the warmness of his body tower over you as his lips pecked the top of your head through the covers. 

“When you are ready to talk about it, I’m here okay.” He said to you quietly.

Gavin continued to rub your back in the silence of your room waiting patiently for you to collect yourself enough to talk to him. 

And after a good 30 minute cry session you slowly sat up before pulling Gavin into a warm embrace. Sniffling into his neck as he just gently pressed his lips to your shoulder. “You know ___, when you are hurting like this...I don’t want you to keep it from me okay? I’ll help you through this.” He spoke to you in a gentle voice. 

You slowly pulled from your hug as you wiped your eyes and began spilling out your heart to him. Telling him about everything. Every past encounter that has left you hurt and how you like to think that you have grown and gotten over the pain but it is moments like this that it just all comes back up again and you feel like you are right back to where you started. 

Gavin’s caramel eyes watched you quietly as he listened to you greatly, taking in your pain as if it was his own. You could tell that he truly understood and got you and that he really knew how badly it was hurting you.

And after a moment he spoke up. 

“The past can be painful sometimes, but it’s there to help us learn and grow. And you can’t ever know how something is really going to play out in the future either.” He said calmly. “All you really can do is take little steps now to lead you to the future you want. Don’t let it get the best of you okay? I know that you will do great. And I will be here to support you through it all.” 

He was right, all those times that people told you that you weren't enough, or looked at you like you were crazy. All those failed attempts and embarrassing moments, they were all there to teach you that you are great! And that you are very much worthy of your hopes and dreams!

Gavin leaned over to pick your notes up off of your nightstand as he studied them closely, a sweet smile on his lips. 

“I might not know much on how to start your own business, but just seeing this idea, I know that it is going to help so many people. You should go through with it.”

“B-but what if it fails?” You say with your head down.

“Well then we will just figure out the root of the problem, fix it, and move forward.” He said as you quickly looked up to see Gavin’s handsome smile as your eyes started to water again, but this time with happy tears.

Because now here you were, taking on your dreams, with someone who has always believed in you, and who has never once questioned just how amazing you truly are.

LUCIEN | CH03 | 0 : 00 : 04 

✨For those who rob themselves of fun✨

You were so excited to sit in at an exclusive lecture that you have been begging Lucien to take you to for months now. It was an introduction class to understanding Quantum Mechanics. A subject that racked your brain,but in a good way. 

And even though Lucien’s undergraduate degree was in biochemistry;he was still fairly knowledgeable and greatly enjoyed physics, and with that happily obliged to accompany you. 

You were filled with anticipation and the utmost excitement. Swaying your feet beneath your seat with anticipation as the instructure took his place at the podium. 

He was an older gentleman with a rustic and well uniformed style. His caramel colored suit complemented his toffee skin. His visible laugh lines and crow's feet along with his brightly colored red bow tie,symbolized a man who lived a full and prosperous life. And even now with no head of hair and whispers of grey singing through his beard expressed that same song of legacy and abundance through him. 

You were thoroughly impressed by the wise looking man whose hands were clasped behind his back patiently waiting for students to fill the seats before glancing at Lucien’s young and smooth features. Only to notice that he had been watching you the entire time, lips curled with his hand pressed closely against them. 

You panic for a moment waving your hands and covering your face. “S-stop looking so intensely at me.” You say as Lucien’s princely chuckle caused your heart to ache. 

“I can’t help it...You just look so excited. Like a silly little kid in a candy store.” he said before letting out a teasing sigh. “I am a bit upset that you never look this excited when you come to see my lectures.” He said crossing his arms and looking away from you with a sorrow filled expression.

“T-That’s not true! I love going to your lectures Lucien.” You said proudly. “It’s just that..well...sometimes it’s hard to understand...since you teach such an advanced class.” You say admitting defeat as you lower your head.

“I see…” Lucien said softly looking at you once more. “Then next time I’ll be sure to explain them to you in a way that you can enjoy and understand.” He said before lightly brushing your hair behind your ear. 

You glanced up for a moment to see Lucien’s gentle smile but before you could say anything the professor at the stand began his lesson. 

The first 30 minutes of the lesson went by in a breeze as the professor recapped on the basic understanding of quantum mechanics and the movement of an electron. These were all things that you have heard from Lucien before and even information you yourself have researched and understood. You happily listened, jotting down notes between cute doodles of bunnies and flowers as Lucien would occasionally add a cute butterfly or heart to your scribbles. 

“Hey.” You said in a soft whisper swatting his hand away playfully. “You of all people should know better. Don’t draw in class.” You teased him as Lucien couldn’t help but to laugh. 

“Your bunny looked lonely. I wanted them to have a friend.” He said in a soft voice, amongst the lecture it was almost too hard to hear, as you glanced over to see that Lucien had his notes displayed as well. 

You weren’t surprised to see how minimal and organized they were. His tablet was exposed with a series of information already written out as he was just adding to pre existing notes he had already written before the lecture started.

They were all neatly organized with his straight lined handwriting and not a single ounce of color or doodle was on them. Just a simple shade of light where certain words were ‘highlighted’ as important.

They look so professional. You thought as Lucien picked up his stylist and calmly added a bit of information to them. You watched him in awe for a moment, the way he was resting his hand on his chin,the engagement in his eyes and the way he quickly jotted down the information in tune with the professor's quick voice. It was clear that he had done this for a while and that he was good at his routined way of note taking. 

When you finally snapped out of your trance you noticed how quickly the professor was on a new topic from the last thing you had written down and glancing at your notes once more than the black board ahead of you. You realized that you were so far behind that the information you had written wasn’t even on the board anymore! 

For a moment you were ready to panic until you realized your position. You weren't in school anymore so taking notes wasn’t essential.

And with that you began to zone off again, letting your egotistical thoughts build up and up. The elder man before you had spent his whole life, in your opinion, becoming something great. He went off to college, got a degree, became an educator and he knew so much!! Even Lucien who just at the age of 26 became a well renowned neuroscientist! Yet here you were...the one who took over their fathers business. You started thinking about all the times an episode idea didn’t even make it past the first meeting with Victor and how you almost lost the entire funding of your show! You sunk down in your seat, spinning the ink of your pen over one of the cute bunnies...Was I ever good at anything? You wallowed to yourself unaware that Lucien’s soft glances were reading you like a book. 

He knew instantly that you were down. The way you were slouching, the unconscious pout on your lips, your eyes shining;trying to hold back tears, and the way your feet stopped patting with excitement from under the table. 

After the lecture was over and you and Lucien were walking hand in hand down the halls he spoke up. “Was the lecture too hard for you to follow? You suddenly looked sad?” He said as his eyes were stuck on you.

You groaned before slouching your head on Lucien’s shoulder, furrowing your brow. “Nothing ever gets past you huh?” You mumble as Lucien brushes back your hair, waiting for you to speak out your worries. 

You began your rant, talking about how amazing he is and the professor and how you enjoy learning about science and sitting in on all these cool lectures but you aren’t the expert and that you feel it is pointless to learn something that you are not good at. It then lead you to feeling that you are not the best at anything. Lucien listened to every ins and outs of your problems, holding your hand tightly in his. Once you finished with a long sigh he spoke up.

“You think that I’m the best neuroscientist in the world?” He said softly as you nod. “Of course, your 26 and you own your own research center, you travel the world, who wouldn’t think that you are-”

“But I’m not.” he said softly as the two fo you stopped walking. You glanced up at him as the same calm and sweet smile stayed on his face. “If not now someone better will come along and do greater than me but even then they won’t be the best...because someone will come along and become greater than they are. After all Science is built on advancement. When something is deemed as a fact that is helpful yes, but people are much more complex. Personally I think that if you choose to see life as becoming the best at something then you are viewing everyone and everything around you as competition. But your idea of greatness is not the same as someone else's, what you may see as failure and a fault someone else sees as empowering and inspiring, and that includes how people see you. I think that you are the best at what you do but that shouldn’t matter...since you know yourself better than anyone else. I think that you should be more proud of how much you've grown. Being the best only brings temporary happiness. While growth is ever changing and there's no limit to how it should happen and what needs to be done in order to grow.” Your face softened as Lucien spoke. You felt your thoughts lighten as a soft voice in your head kept telling you that he was right. I see Lucien as the greatest and most amazing person in the world but he doesn’t… he sees. “You.” his princely voice said softly. “If I had to choose who the greatest person in the world is to me...it’s you.” He added before kissing your forehead. 

You could feel the soft rise and fall of his chest as his warm lips laid gently on your skin. His rainy scent engulfing you while your hands slowly pulled him into an embrace. He hugged you back before brushing your hair lightly through his fingertips. 

Even in this moment with Lucien you have learned so much, you have grown...a sweet smile fluttered across your lips as your heart grew with pride. “I am so proud of me, and how much I have grown.” You whispered. 

KIRO | CH03 | 0 : 00 : 05 

✨For those who are feeling lonely amongst hard times.✨

You slouched at the front door of your apartment. Bags in your hands, coat slung between your arms, hair a mess and dark circles slowly morphing you into a racoon.

You kicked off your shoes to see your red and slightly swollen feet. An emergency had happened that caused you to stop and change every course of your life for the next month and a half. Having to make phone calls between friends, family, and companies ensuring the safety and calmness of everyone around you.

You had already spent hours reassuring worried hearts that you had forgotten to give yourself a moment to breathe and process everything. And now with this short time to finally be with yourself the stress, anxiety, worry and guilt flooded through you like a river as your eyes dropped like a waterfall. 

You had been trying so hard to remain optimistic for everyone else that your own feelings were casted aside and now here you were, alone and finally able to feel them. Only for the idea of being alone to make it worse. Sliding your way down and onto the floor beginning your crying session. Soon the buzzing of your phone scared you half to death. The handsome face of Kiro and his bright golden smile popped up on your screen. Oh great. You thought seeing the FaceTime message as you quickly dried your face and answered the call.

“OHHH My (Miss) Chip(s)!!~” Kiro’s voice sang. “Hey,” he pouted. “Why can’t I see your face? It’s so dark. And you’re sniffling...Don’t tell me you caught a cold again?” he said. 

“Ah-s-sorry. I’ll turn on the lights.” Your voice cracked as Kiro’s playful expression quickly turned to worry. You flicked on the lights and turned the screen to your face, rubbing your nose with your sleeve. Seeing yourself on the small screen of your phone, there was no way for you to deny that you were crying. Your eyes a puffy red mess (and makeup smeared down your cheeks). 

“Ah...I was um..” You try to explain as You watched Kiro already up and heading for his jacket. 

“Don’t worry ____. I’m on my way, you can tell me when I get there. Have you been crying for long?” he said as his cute voice now had a alert and serious tone.

“N-No...not too long. I just got home.” You say softly.

“Don’t hang up. I don’t want you to cry by yourself. Next time you are feeling sad, let me know.”

“Y-You don’t have to come over.” you say feeling like you were about to cry again.

“Don’t say that. Of course I do. It is a hero’s job to help those in need. Especially when it’s someone they love.” Kiro said as you bit your lip softly, you couldn’t deny him of this. 

When he finally arrived at your place you cleaned up a bit as you opened the door to an tight embrace. His hug was warm and inviting as your hand tightening on his back the moment Kiro pressed your head to his shoulder. You began to cry again. “It’s okay...I am here...you can cry now.” He said in a low voice. With that you spilled out your heart as kiro held you closely, his blonde hair tickling the edge of your ear.  

Once you had calmed down enough to talk the two of you sat beside one another on the loveseat in your living room.

You expressed all of your pain that you had been repressing about the situation and although you didn’t mind that people were using you for support, you never realized how tough it would be to take on everyone's pain and have no one to help you through yours. Kiro held your hand quietly, hearing out all your worries as the rings on his fingers were slowly starting to warm up by the embrace of yours. 

Once you had finished what you needed to say Kiro gently pressed your head to his chest, his arms holding you in a loving embrace. 

“Thank you...for sharing with me your worries. I know that it’s not easy having to take on other people's burdens but you aren’t alone...and I will always listen to you and I will always be here when things get tough. I want to be that someone you rely on to lift your spirits. You are the person that I want to make the happiest. Even when you feel like no one sees or hears you struggling, just remember that I do see you.” Kiro said in a soft voice as your eyes watered once again. You hugged him tightly, nodding your head as you felt like a large weight was just lifted off your shoulders. 

Kiro reminded you that you belong and that there is so much value in how hardworking and kind you are. 

And that this strength wasn’t something you need to burden through alone. 

✨Thank you for reading and I hope that this helped any of you guys going through a tough time who just needs a bit of encouragement. 

My DM’s are always open too and I’ll gladly hear anyone out. 🖤 

Sometimes all we need is just someone to vent to. 🖤

✨Check out more of my writings on my ✨master list✨

✨ If you like my blog and want to see more of me check out my other social’s, it would mean a lot to me~~ https://linktr.ee/Yvainegeline