#i wanna die this fucking sucks so bad
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eddiethehunted · 1 year ago
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falling into old Very Bad Habits sucks so bad bc i know im doing it but my brain will not allow me to fix this
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sparkdoesart · 5 months ago
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Isat siffrin and loop short animatic thing for my au~
Spoilers for the secret ending!
So much i wanna talk about with these two~
But alas, I'll keep it to myself for now,
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slutdge · 3 months ago
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ill just be minding my business and then remember how fucked the experience i had with cps was and just how fucked cps is in general and actively harms the children its supposed to be there to help and get so mad i dig a hole into my skin with my nails so deep it starts drawing blood
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sensitivegoblin · 2 months ago
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Stupid period vent
If youre a cis man; kiss a uterous haver on the forehead today
Cus fuck this feels like a mental parasite
#:(#i hate getting my period :(#im so emotional#fuck a stupid tiktok has me hyperventalating over hpw i miss my mom and i was 4 again#my dad doesnt come home for another 3 hrs......#i need a hug so badly i wanna call him and ask him to come home but i shouldnt#.....fuck i think i might need to#i hate that i was literally fine until that stupid tiktok....#have you guys seen the cat Mao cartoons on tiktok? i always get sucked and forget theyre always emotional#this one was about a mom cat and a kitten and the mom cat died#i hate my mom and think she did horrendous things to me i shouldnt be screaming how much i miss her#fuck.#i dont wanna keep growing up and watching everyone die or leave#fuck im spiraling so bad#the safe thing might be to call my dad but i really really shouldnt make him leave work#i can never do the right thing im so fucking broken#i really need a hug and a joint#if i dont message you back im ok: i just feel very uncontrollable rn#going back n forth between anger and heartbreak#ALL OF THIS OVER A FUCKING TIKTOK#im so fucking stupid..#ill be okay i just hate being alone when im thinking about my mom/dark stuff#im not even sewerslidal im just extreamly emotional and its scaring me#if im not ok by 3pm ill call my dad#i feel nothing one minute and then i feel everything and rinse repeat#i just hate that i get triggered so easily#i already feel a lil calmer im just tired n need a hug#i know that im safe my body just physically does not feel safe#so im like trapped in my head#but if my dad was here hed be able to pull me out
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rosesradio · 3 months ago
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i think my university fucking bit me wtf
#it started last semester or maybe even last year but they infected me with an anxiety that completely rewired my brain#i have general anxiety disorder & i’ve had the occasional ‘something bad is gonna happen’ day where im anxious the whole day for no reason#but then it changed to this like. academic anxiety that got so bad i was like. nauseous all the time throwing up i had to go to a counselor#and now i’m straight up paranoid. like idk maybe i’m not using the word right but i’m convinced every day all my worst fears are gonna—#just happen one after the other. my tumblr will be revealed to my family. my toxic ex will come back into my life—#my money for school is revoked things like that.#because adult life is just so confusing and convoluted and works against people#and my anxiety just goes through this loop of ‘everyone dislikes you/hates you/thinks you’re annoying’ so -> ‘you’re gonna get in trouble’#so -> ‘your life will be irreparably damaged and/or you will die’#the ‘you’re gonna get in trouble’ bit especially gets me because it’s like bitch how!! i follow laws!! i cheat a bit less than the average—#student! any time someone has a concern with like my work performance or something they politely tell me#why do i have the anxiety of a fucking hunted animal over these things!!#i wanna be numb actually i miss that time. it still sucks but at least i don’t make myself sick#things would be so much easier if i was a house spouse who cooked & cleaned (with no kids) & didn’t have a job or go to school#ofc managing a house has its own challenges and i don’t wanna undermine that but ykwim#i want this fuckin eye of sauron off my ass already 🧍#and don’t even get me started on the ‘you have to do this little task in this specific way or else everyone you love will die’ thoughts#that’s a whole other mess#tw vent#rose.txt
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nomairuins · 5 months ago
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i literally likw felt sick hust now bc i thought abt gay people and ive just realized as i was about to hit post that this sounds homophobic. it was pure envy unfortunately
#i need to have a gay moment or im going to die in real life. guys its so hard#mfw i never leave the house and im extremely closed off and distant from people and i never talk to anybody and im a shutin: When will i#meet my love.#ITS NOT GONNA HAPPENNN MY LOVE WILL NOT MATERIALIZE INSIDE MY STUPID GARAGE. PUNCHES THE WALL#also you may think connor youre not closed off you literally yap constantly about every single thought in your head. Yes. but thats to you#guys as a whole so it doesnt count#one on one conversations im so scared im like acat hiding under a bed. genuinely shaking crying#BUT I DONT NOT LIKE ONE ON ONE CONVERSATIONS I MISS THEM BADLY. i used to talk to online friends Everyday. and ugh. obvioisly.#i just like. idk. i wanna make friends but i feel like im so bad at being a person that its wah too much work to befriend me#i dont mean that selfdeprecatingly i mean like. i need the other person to make the first moves always which sucks bc thats a bad thing to#expect of someone but if i ever made the first moves i. well i just couldnt my brain would shut down its a whole thing. connor doesnt speak#unless spoken to etc. and again ik i yap on here#but thats bc this is like my diary. dms or discord or whatever Is a conversation.......sigh#but ya. and with time i think id warm up and be able to initiate congersation and reciprocate properly but thats a long time to make someone#wait. bc i also when ppl do reach out i like. im like . like w my old coworkers we were i think friends but i was like Im the only one who#thinks that they dont actually like Me so whenever they talked id be like Theyre just doing tjis to be nice or out of pity#which is a rude thought to have abt someone inknow but its like. idk .. im nonsensical#but it takes me a while to like. actually understand somebody is trying to be friends bc im obtuse as fuck#and im like Well theyre saying hello to me and amiling whenever rhey see me just to be nice or possibly bc they hate me <- stupid guy on 🌎
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thegirlwholivesin-delusion · 11 months ago
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Why tf is tumblr my only coping mechanism
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opens-up-4-nobody · 1 year ago
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...
#sorry i cant shut the fuck up today. i think i just feel worse on the weekends bc i kno i shoulf b relaxing#ppl r telling me to relax. take a break. let me kno how i can help. let me kno if theres a problem. bc my behavior is apparently ya kno like#visibly somethings not right. but how tf am i supposed to relax when i have so much to do#so im stuck spiraling like dont work but also think insistently abt working. but get nothing done. its horrible#mostly rn im stressed abt all the grading i havent done and the work on my masters data i havent done#but its like. something in my head is on fire and it's burning thru all my cognitive energy. i am just trying to keep existing#how tf am i supposed to find the energy to read 45 lab reports? im like illiterate#and idk i just feel bad about coming into a new lab being so sick. i just dont like being a problem#it also does not reflect well on my future career that im being such a flake on things. like sorry if i have to work on my research#assistant data rn i might die ✌️ ugh. itll b fine. i just need to find a way to effectively manage my head#and i keep hearing my dads voice in my head talking abt personal responsibility but like i dont even kno how to employ that. i could suck#it up and double down on productivity but that way leads to burnout and self destruction. do i doubke down on relaxing?#i dont kno how to do that. like u would probably just have to drug me. which is y i do not partake in substances. that way also leads#to self destruction. so what am i do to? cross my fingers and pray for a fluctuation in my general mood?#hope that aliens invade and that an incoming invasion sharpens my focus onto only one single thing?#idk. but my sister is finally working on the fish i askrd her yo draw me. so i gotta think of how i wanna get it tattooed#bc shes not an art person and its an act of indulging chaos to get an imperfect image tattooed onto me#so i might have to do some things to make it make me not insane. i asked for this bc i like causing myself problems. also i was in a#slightly altered state of mind when i asked lol but i stand by it haha. anyway. idk things r just annoying and hard rn as i knew they would#b. and im good at catching myself before things get dangerous but it sucks that i feel like a ticking time bomb of destruction. ugh.#unrelated
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1ovestay · 6 months ago
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wont lie im having a terrible fucking time with it! fuck applying for jobs what if i end it all instead
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nomaishuttle · 1 year ago
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ohhh fml i was like maybe i cn stya up a bit late after all its weekend tomorrow. no it fucking isnt today was thursday i have work tmrw everything is evil always
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wemwem · 2 years ago
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Kyman Antis deserve absolutely nothing in life :
Because why the fuck would you tell someone to kill themselves over a fucking ship? You don't like it? Move the fuck on. You shouldn't give a damn if I like the ship for not. My interest in Kyman shouldn't be a fucking concern to you. Fuck Kyman Antis for real.
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unholycourier · 9 months ago
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biggest shock to me in fnv was convincing veronica to join the followers but bc i was a couple points off i couldn’t tell fool the brotherhood so their next logical course of action was massacring the followers post outside of freeside as if the doctors would build weapons of mass pre war destruction.
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widevibratobitch · 9 months ago
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when will i fucking learn to not look into the comment section under a fat woman's photo :)
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bumpscosity · 10 months ago
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i keep thinking abt The California Themed Theme Park To Be Located In The Already California Themed California. i want that on my gravestone
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vaguelyhumanshaped · 1 year ago
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Dear (Sir or Madam,)
After (careful) consideration,
We (regret) to inform you that you have not been (selected,)
We have decided to (pursue other candidates,)
We carefully regret your application,
(Honestly, you should have known,)
We regret (your decision,)
(You chose this life, no?)
(Why did you fail again?)
(The fear? The anxiety? The dread?)
(You dared to deign yourself worthy?)
(You decided to not plan ahead,)
(You were never able to plan ahead)
(You didn't plan to live past 12)
(Your career was a stillborn)
(It was never gonna hatch)
We have decided to leave you,
No paths, no forwards, no advance
Do not pass go, you will receive nothing,
You never put effort to anything,
We regret (you,)
(Were you not informed that you'll never be enough?)
(Careful, dear.)
(You can't fall from the sky icarus,)
(Your father never had the time to build the wings for either of you,)
(Never had the tools, the knowledge,)
(By your lazy, overworked hands, you are condemned,)
(By your ragged breath, the sweat filled brow, and the dirt under your nails,)
(By the rough in your gut, the grit under your tongue, and the grease in your veins,)
(You are to be your own minotaur,)
(Trapped, cannibalistic, vile)
(You can rot yourself away,)
(Pursuing anything that crosses your path,)
(Chewing through lives that could've been yours,)
(Hoping for answers in the marrow of their bones)
Dear(est),
(That wasn't a very good choice, was it?)
We do hope you understand.
Regards,
(A life not made for you)
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aropride · 1 year ago
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my friend's boyfriend is selling a tv and if i felt like making another big purchase i would literally buy it to watch frozen on i HATE having to use my laptop to watch movies/tv
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