#learning to love living has made everything so much more complicated in purely negative ways

[sideblogformentalhealtshit]

Regaining my will to live was probably the worst thing to ever happen to me

[toujoursmiraculous]

Thoughts and Reaction to SIMPLEMAN

A day late but that's what happens when good subs aren't out until the next day, and you're busy that day. This episode is so sweet and wholesome that it was worth it, for sure. I'm still not sure which one is Ella and which one is Etta. They're always addressed together so I just don't know, but I'd like to. ;-; (Note: Looked it up on Wikia, the one in pink with seafoam earrings is Etta, the one in seafoam and pink earrings is Ella) See Nino knows. Nino's concerned about Marinette babysitting three kids already. He lives with one all the time, times that by 4 and WOO that's crazy. Sweet of her to want to ensure her best friend has some time to relax with her boyfriend. Oh. OH those poor Kwami! Especially Fluff and her ears being pulled like a game of tug-of-war! I can see it now, Fluff now traumatized by young kids. So if Alix ever has any in the future, they better grow up knowing about Fluff right away or she's in for a horror show. PV TRAILER AND MUSIC! I'm such a fan of the music and the PV that when my sister told me about it, it made me even more excited for this episode than I already was. And I was very excited already! Manon: So? Aren't you going to answer it? She knows what's up. So Adrien's calling asking Marinette to help sew on a wing? Because nobody else there can do it? I dunno, sounds kind of sus to me, Adrien. Are you sure you're not using that as an excuse just to see your "friend"?

Marinette's biggest problem is thinking so far ahead in her brain that when she goes to speak, she's either way far ahead of herself or gets everything mixed up as it comes out of her mouth. If she just lived in the moment and didn't plan (which being Ladybug that's probably very hard not to do outside the costume), she'd be able to do this and overcome that fear of rejection as well. She seems to have that part fairly taken care though. When Gina said she was in China to learn Kung Fu and met a girl that reminded her of Marinette, instantly thought about Fei. How could it not be her? Rolland gets asked to babysit, immediately is like "Let's do something fun and dangerous!" Tom must have had an interesting childhood with Rolland and Gina. o.o Clearly Rolland doesn't realize who the heroes are based on. Or just completely forgot he met them when Bakerix. xD Adrien's so sweet with Marinette, even if he can't understand a single thing she says. That's adorable. But a really good way to thank her could've been "Would you stay and watch the photoshoot, and then maybe we could go do something fun/get something to eat after?" BOOM. Problems solved. But I have a feeling this may come back later, and maybe that would turn out better. Marinette's grandparents tend to give Hawk Moth/Shadowmoth the most sass and trouble in comparison to other Parisians. XD Rolland is so sweet to these kids, and they are so caring towards him. It's so wholesome! Just think: if that helicopter wasn't crashing behind her, she would've screamed she loved Adrien. So close. Simpleman is the chillest akuma. Being all "Hey kids, even though I'm akumatized, let's go out into the city!" and the kids are like "Yeah, okay. Hey let's get ice cream!"

Him protecting them from all the flying pizza boxes that guy was throwing around everywhere was super sweet too. LB and CN: Things are complicated. So we should find Shadow Moth directly. Let's run around the city screaming for him to come find us so we can fight him! I seriously think if Chat Noir or Ladybug brought up the fact that their identities made things complicated, they would've revealed themselves right then and there. LOL at the old school fighting and them behaving like young children xD "NO!" "I'm NaNa, ClaCla is no longer with NaNa! Paris is really messy! BuggyBug, KittyKity, help us!" Oh this is going to be so hilarious in the English dub with the voice actress who also voices Nathalie. XDDD A bouncy ball is very complicated for Ladybug. That a literal 5 year old can figure out. Wow this villain's power sure did a number on her. xD I find it all the more stressful actually, that Chat Noir and Ladybug can remember what they were doing the whole time they were affected by the akuma. That means if Marinette said she loved him, or they revealed their identities, there would be no going back or being able to make an excuse for it. Can we just talk about how those kids could understand that the reason he wants things to be simple and is upset that the world is so different, is because it scares him and he doesn't think he's capable of learning and changing with the world? A majority of adults these days can't even take two seconds to try to understand someone else's situation(s) before judging and being outright nasty people towards them. Yet these kids were able to do so. And a lot of kids actually are like they are in real life. Some may see this as an episode just for kids to appreciate, but there's a lot in here that's aimed at adults, too. Adults need reminders and these lessons just as much, if not more so than young kids. It's adults that lose their way and needed to be reminded of it, as they have a greater immediate impact on the world. I've seen so many people judge Rolland, make assumptions about him which is almost always the very worst things they could think of. But this episode shows how caring and willing to learn and understand he really is, he was just hiding behind his fear of change and not being able to keep up with it. Some lessons in this episode for the adult viewers are: -You're never too old to learn, get over your fears, try new things, become a better person, and see things through new eyes. -Don't over-complicate or overthink, but don't be lazy and think keeping everything simple will actually in reality be the answer, sometimes it can make things worse! -Kids tend to see the world as things are, not what they think it should be, or believing they're the center of the universe like adults tend to do. -Being wise means knowing that regardless of your field, educational background, age, or lived experiences, you don't know everything, there is always more for you to learn about everything out there. The kids in this show are quite wise, as they know that there is so much they don't know and how they treat learning new things. They also know how adults tend to understand, or act like they understand everything, so we as adults aren't used to it when we don't and react negatively to that because it scares us when we don't know. In that way, this episode was very brilliant! Also that hug at the end, oh you can bet these kids are going to want to go visit Grandpa Rolland, and honestly I'd love to see bits of them here and there, their bonds are adorable and they've changed his life in such a positive way. Also the pure Ladynoir without another hero or Alya or any kind of upsetting situation was honestly such a breath of fresh air! Maybe not the kind of Ladynoir people wanted, but it made me happy. Marinette acknowledged her problem is she's scared of Adrien rejecting her. First step is admitting it! Can't blame her for not being able to do what she wanted, she only just realized the issue after all. It's going to take a little time now to work on it! Is it just me, or

does it seem Adrien's almost trying not to laugh when she was messing up and then asked if he liked fishing? XD Maybe it was the actors tone with the facial expression but it seemed that way! But the way he just watches her run away and does that adorable little chuckle... Oh Adrien, we really need you to start realizing why you keep doing that. "She (Ladybug) reminds me of your grandmother and you know what? You look exactly like her (Ladybug)." Well. Oop. He's onto you! Apparently Rolland isn't blind, as not a single character suspected her from her personality or appearance to be Ladybug so far. Even Adrien only began piecing it together due to circumstances (and his own personal wish that Marinette is LB, you can't convince me otherwise this isn't true). This is going to come back later, possibly Dearest Family? Overall such a good episode with a lot of things in it, if you decide to watch without high expectations or biases. After all the angst lately, it was certainly needed as a nice change of pace.

[charlotte-headcanons]

Flower name prompts for Charlotte Katakuri and Cracker

Chrysanthemum, Hibiscus, Marigold, Ivy, Violet and Zinnia.

Of course! Thanks for requesting! So excited to get to those flower headcanon asks 💕 enjoy!

CW: violence, death, angst

Chrysanthemum: How does your muse express romantic love? How do they feel about love as a concept?

Since we headcanon Katakuri as aroace, we'll talk about platonic love here, if that's alright! To him, love is all about feeling safe and comfortable. The best indication of his love is when he becomes trusting enough with someone to lean onto them slightly, close his eyes, and rest, spending time with them in comfortable silence. To those he likes, Katakuri will also often bring random trinkets: little gifts, things that he liked or that made him think of the other person. A pearl taken from a defeated pirate crew, a seashell, a picture he found pretty - he'll always give these kinds of things to the people important in his life, hoping that they will like them too.

Cracker is a complicated case. Although he kind of wants romantic love, he doesn't have yet much experience with it, and therefore (although he wouldn't admit it) he's constantly scared of fucking up. While overconfident and loud usually, around someone he likes he changes into a timid, awkward mess. A not obvious but crucial way in which he expresses affection is simply listening to the other person attentively. He's a gloat and yell kind of guy normally, who rarely listens, so once he actually pays attention to the other person...you know he's in pretty damn deep.

Hibiscus: How does your muse view the gentler, daintier things in life? As things worth preserving & caring for, or as things only bound to wither and disappear?

Katakuri likes and protects anything soft and gentle. He will take a step to the side if it means avoiding trampling over a flower, he will pick up a slug from the road to bring it to a safer location. He's a gentle giant, wholesome on the inside, although he has to always make sure he isn't seen doing those things, as it wouldn't work together with his threatening public image he adopts to keep his family safe.

Cracker is like a polar opposite of that. He's a menace wherever he appears, and as we saw in canon, he's absolutely not against destroying an entire forest (with his pure vibes I guess?? The fuck was that technique) just because he can. He'll sometimes pick on those weaker than him, and generally believes that if something's easy to break... Tough luck, natural selection, bitch. The gentler things and people in life need to get the fuck out of his way. Otherwise, they get squashed.

Ivy: What are your muse's views on marriage? Do they believe it is something strictly for love, or an institution rooted in business & social benefits? Do they desire or have they desired to be married?

Answered in detail here! Of course, both are pretty disillusioned in marriage and know well that it doesn't always happen out of love. Katakuri finds it to be a good thing for others but not really something for himself, Cracker on the other hand, would like to get married but only if it's his own choice.

Marigold: Is your muse prone to jealousy? How might they handle envious feelings?

Katakuri is not jealous often, but he does experience envious feelings sometimes. All the time he's lowkey jealous of those who get to live normally, for starters. Rarely, but sometimes he gets jealous over his favorite siblings too: since he doesn't have much free time, whenever he has time to spend with them but they choose to spend time with someone else, he feels something like a sting. He's a quiet-jealous type. Outwardly, he won't say anything, even telling them that it's okay to reschedule. However, he'll (mostly unconsciously) punish himself and them for it by throwing himself into more work and having even less time for them.

Cracker's jealousy is frequent and explosive, especially if he has a crush on someone. His high levels of envy result from his insecurities in the romantic domain; as overconfident as he is, he knows he lacks experience, and hence finds anyone else with experience to be a dangerous rival. He's a territorial guy and will absolutely stare daggers at anyone he deems dangerous, and often no reasoning will work to convince him that he has nothing to worry about.

Violet: How does your muse respond to betrayal?

Betrayed Katakuri is a Katakuri that shuts off. If required by Mama to kill the traitor, he will do so, and then sulk for months. During this time, he'll slip way more into his perfect persona and avoid vulnerability even harder than he did until now. Keeping it all inside, he'll buzz with negative emotions, and snap easily - instantly apologizing to those he snaps at and feeling guilty about it, but not being able to help it. For a visual representation, this meme describes it about perfectly:

For Cracker, it all depends on how close to him the traitor was. If they weren't that close, he'll angrily beat them up to a bloody pulp until they stop breathing, rage for a while, and call it a day. But if he genuinely trusted them, god save Totto Land. He'll make all hell break loose, destroying everything around him out of anger, and might even cry a bit; something that doesn't normally happen to him often.

Zinnia: How has the loss of fallen comrades and/or loved ones affected your muse? Has it taught them anything or given them any new perspectives?

Katakuri can say he's lucky enough to not have lost anyone very close to him yet, being normally able to help it thanks to his precognition and hyperfocused on avoiding risks to his loved ones ever since Brulee got hurt. Of course, he saw plenty of crew members, homies, and Totto Land citizens die, but fortunately, it wasn't yet anyone he'd be really broken over losing. Seeing death all around has kind of numbed him to the idea of dying himself one day (he's completely at peace with that thought) but he's still as terrified of others dying as ever. It feels like his failure every time because if he can foresee something but cannot prevent it... Then it's really on him, right?

Besides that, he has learned to appreciate the lives of those weaker than himself through seeing them fight for survival and die. Seeing their ambitions, seeing some of them smile in their death and other call out the names of their families, it all made Katakuri realize that even the smallest of people have their own great struggles, hopes, dreams. This is something not many of his siblings pay attention to, but Katakuri greatly appreciates regular people and normal everyday life, trying to protect them as much as possible.

If he lost someone very important and close to him, though, Katakuri would basically react the same way he reacted to Brulee getting her scar, except 10 times more strongly. He'd take on even more responsibilities, get overprotective, and try to be in 10 places at once to not ever let something like this happen again. Besides that, he'd visit his loved one's grave way too often, spending every moment of his free time there and actually talking to it to ease the grief he'd feel.

Likewise, Cracker isn't really that close to so many people, so he also didn't yet lose anyone he'd strongly care for, but he saw plenty soldiers and civilians die; and actually caused some deaths, even within his own ranks. To him, seeing weaklings die is kind of a power trip. Death doesn't humble him, it actually feeds his ego: after all, if he's the one surviving, he must be amazing and special.

However, if someone close to him died, Cracker would be devastated. It wouldn't teach him anything good, instead, it would only make him seek out revenge and get obsessed with destruction due to just how pissed at the entire world he'd be. He would be sad, of course, but he wouldn't really know how to accept this emotion, so he'd react with pure, unbridled rage instead.

Thank you for the ask! 💕

[maxwell-grant]

Charlie Chan. Who is fascinating, because he was created explictly to be an anti-Yellow Peril character. Unlike most Chinese characters of the time, he's both intelligent, physically capable, and unambiguously heroic. In the novels, he's simultaneously proud of being Chinese AND proud of being an American citizen. He gives orders and instructions to white people, and the narrative treats this as perfectly normal and acceptable. There's a bit in the first book, when an attempt to trap the..(1/2)

(cont'd)There's a bit in the first book where an attempt to trap the protagonist fails, because a message supposedly from Charlie clearly isn't because Charlie's English isn't broken, it's like poetry. Etc. The movies made him more stereotypical, & played by white actors in yellowface, but still, he's a heroic Chinese man, who is as capable and patriotic as any white man. Nowadays, he's thought of as racist caricature. Which he is, but still, it makes one think.

I'm not nearly as acquainted with Charlie Chan as you are (and I definitely suspected he was less racist in the original books because that's nearly always the norm when it comes to pulp characters) but yeah, that "Which he is" is forever going to be the most unfortunate and saddest part of it all when it comes to Charlie Chan. For all the virtues that can be bestowed on Charlie Chan, for everything great that the character had going for him and inspired, the fact that the least offensive image of the character I could find to put here for illustration's sake is from the Hanna-Barbera cartoon kinda exemplifies the big elephant in the room when it comes to Charlie.

Charlie Chan is a great example of two things: One is the way progress is never a fixed quantity and often what was progressive and forward-thinking in it's time can become something outdated and backwards and downright offensive given enough time, and the 2nd is my constant stressing that this is all the more incentive to reclaim the pulps and either highlight or fix aspects of them, instead of dismissing every aspect of them based on the preconception that everything about it's history is unforgivably bigoted and must be handled with the nuance of a sledgehammer.

I stress time and time again the need to highlight and understand the prejudices that went into pulps, because either ignoring them or wielding them as a weapon to attack them does no favors to anyone. The pulps weren't exceptionally bigoted - look at literally any medium in it's time period and you'll find bigotry and prejudice and hatred - and they were exceptional in the number of POC heroes and heroines. Pulps were a medium of experimentation and cheap entertainment that gave way to much, much more varied kinds of protagonists than were permitted in films, serials, novels, comics and radio serials of the day. Imagine if no one was allowed to bring up and discuss superheroes without mentioning the Superman Slap-a-Jap posters or the Captain Marvel story so horrifingly racist it was recounted by an American ambassador after it deeply offended a friend's son and a major influence on the 1950s anti-comic trials. "Pulp fiction had deeply, unforgivingly racist depictions that deserve intense scrutiny and cannot be ignored" and "Pulp fiction was significantly ahead of every other medium at the time in regards to authors and editors striving to publish stories about heroic POCs, this cannot be dismissed and is something that needs to be perpetuated" are not exclusive facts. "A product of it's time" is not an excuse and never was, but it's a fact nevertheless.

Every time someone speaks favorably of Charlie Chan in any capacity, they have to start with a long preface of everything positive that the character had going for him. Yes, he's a deliberate subversion of the Yellow Peril, he's a heroic protagonist, he's plump and good-natured and humorous but far from a joke, he's friendly and pleasant and well-educated and wise, he's a good dad and family man and a terrifically sharp detective who's so good at his job he gets called to solve crimes all over the world, and none of these traits are apparent to people who have to google the character and repeteadly see a white man in awful make-up into every single image of the character, who watch the movies and cringe at the broken English. It's hardly relevant in the face of all the Asian-American critics who acknowledge the character's virtues but rightfully point out that this fortune-cookie spouting caricature, acting subservient to whites and whose virtues are based around his proximity to a white American ideal, doesn't represent them and they shouldn't pretend it does.

Which isn't to say that to like Charlie Chan is "wrong", a lot of East Asians love Charlie and the character's obviously got fans in Asian Americans. It's a complicated subject and I obviously cannot begin to vouch in a subject so heavily based around perceptions I cannot experience. And I deeply detest the idea of speaking for others on their particular experiences on this kind of matter, which is something Americans do a lot everytime they talk about representation in media.

So instead, I'm going to tackle this on a roundabout manner by going on an unrelated tangent to bring up an example of representation that isn't quite representative of what it's supposed to be, has a lot of issues that have been dissected by critics among the people it was supposed to represent, and none of that stopped the character from being popular and beloved and from being claimed anyway. And it's a Brazilian fighting game character, which means it's completely within my ballpark.

Yeah, obviously Blanka doesn't look like anyone who lives in Brazil (whatever resemblance he bears to redheaded jungle protectors of Brazilian folklore is purely accidental). Obviously neither Jimmy nor Blanka are Brazilian names or even exist in the Portuguese lexicon. Obviously there are issues in Street Fighter's approach to representation across the board, sure, and I'd actually say Laura is much worse than Blanka in that regard (again, my opinion, obviously not universal), but the fact remains that Blanka is and has always been pretty controversial. Obviously there's Brazilians who took offense to Blanka and they weren't wrong to do so, and I obviously do not speak for everyone here, that goes without saying.

Obviously the idea that Brazil's major representative in a global cast of characters, the first big name Brazilian character in videogames, is going to be a freakish jungle monster who roars and bites faces has problems, as is the fact that all the others get to be regular people representing fighting styles from their countries while Blanka doesn't. None of the Brazilian SF characters represent Capoeira, which is kinda shitty to be honest. And there's a whole stereotype of Brazil as a backwards land of beasts and savages that Blanka's creation played into. There's no shortage of ground to criticize Blanka's representation and Ono actually apologized in an interview once, but then he learned one teensy little thing:

Street Fighter is very popular on Brazil. Would you like to leave a message to the fans from there?

"Ono: Yes, I'm aware. At the time of Street Fighter II a lot of the arcade machines produced went there, so I knew we had lots of fans there. A message to Brazilians, well, I'd like to apologize. I know Blanka's a weird character and I don't want any Brazilian to feel uncomfortable with that.

When Blanka was conceived, we knew there were forests in Brazil, and so we thought he could look like that. I was actually kinda nervous knowing I'd meet Brazilian journalists. Still, this is the first Street Fighter in ten years, so we'd like all fans to play, including Brazilians, which are many.

Thanks. Well, but you should know that Brazilians love Blanka

"Ono: Ah, good! I was scared of getting beat up if I ever went to São Paulo! (laughs)"

(That's from a 2012 tv special called The Greatest Brazilian of All Time where over a million viewers voted to elect whoever they wanted, and Blanka was going to win. He was polling ahead of Aryton Senna and PELÉ, fucking Pelé, yes this happened. He wasn't even disqualified for being a cartoon character, it was an open poll, he was disqualified due to canon stating he had been born in Thailand, which I think may have been retconned since then. Again, A MILLION BRAZILLIANS voted for this contest, and Blanka was going to win.)

Blanka is great and sweet and lovable, he made the best out of the incredible shitty hands fate dealt him and became a cool and strong green man who shoots lightning and flies, a self-taught warrior who rides whales and planes to fighting tournaments, and he loves his mom and friends and kicks ass and after he's done he dances in joy and gives the kids of his village piggyback rides, and Brazil loves him. He doesn't represent any existing person or fighting style, he's rooted in a negative stereotype and incorrect assumptions, he's not even really Brazilian, and he's our boy and nobody can take him away from us.

No criticism of Blanka, no matter how in-depth or even right it is, is ever going to affect that, because regardless of what was wrong or misguided and offensive about him, we claimed him and loved him so throughly that Capcom kept playing up Brazilian representation in every subsequent game post Alpha, and because of Blanka's impact and reception in such a big game, Brazilian characters have become a staple of fighting games, and that's how we got much more diverse representatives in those games. Fighting games have more Brazilian representation than LITERALLY ANYTHING ELSE on media not produced here. It started as BAD representation, with way less thought put into it than Charlie Chan, and it still mattered to a lot of Brazilians who reclaimed it and made it better than it was ever intended to be, and as a response to it, it gradually became better. 

Progress is not a fixed quantity, it's an uphill battle, and it's not unwinnable. Everything's gotta start somewhere.

The Good Asian is a ongoing comic that I think does the best job I've seen yet of handling an Asian American detective protagonist, which is not really a high bar in the first place, and more to the point, The Good Asian illustrates the 2nd part: the reclaiming. The Good Asian deals a lot with the realities that a 1930s Asian-American detective would run into, the strained circumstances and relationships between said character and the world around him, because it's born from an author who took a look at Charlie Chan and Mr Moto and the like and recognized the potential in those stories that could not be fulfilled in it's time period by the people writing said stories. 

The Good Asian pays little reverence to Charlie Chan, but it acknowledges that it cannot exist without Charlie Chan, and it reclaims the Charlie Chan premise at the hands of someone more adequately equipped to tell a gripping story that goes places none of Charlie's contemporaries would ever go. Regardless of how good or bad of representation Charlie Chan was, Charlie Chan mattered and was beloved and inspired a better example for others to improve on or rebel against.

I desperately wish that I could google Charlie Chan without having to look at a guy in yellowface, and the ONLY way that's going to happen is if the character ever gets meaningfully brought back and reclaimed for good by people who can meaningfully tackle the character and present him as he should have always been presented.

And then, I imagine it would be a lot easier to show people on how swell Charlie really is. A true, positive role model and hero, who no longer has to look like a gross cartoon to be able to exist at all. Who can finally be what he was always meant to be, and always was deep down.

[luciafrost]

“They name the most powerful storms after women for a reason.”

Name: Lucia Demetria Frost Gender: Female Species: Mermaid Birthday: January 29th Age: 115  Sexuality: Demiromatic, Bisexual Zodiac: Aquarius  Moral alignment: Chaotic Neutral Positive Traits: Fervent, Knowledgable and clever. Negative Traits: Formidable, autocratic and machiavellian. Occupation: Princess & Assistant Marine Biologist  Skeleton: Amethyst Faceclaim: Ester Exposito ♪ character history

THE OCEAN

Born one half of a set Lucia should have been destined to share her life with someone who understood her more than anyone else. Instead she has never met her sister and ruling became the only thing she held close to her heart. A hollow replacement for a relationship that could have changed her entire course of life. She grew into a powerful ruler and fierce protector of what was hers in the northern waters. She was exactly what the goddess wanted of the mermaid princesses when she made them and warned them of danger. Different from the other rulers of the seven oceans. A thing she should have been proud of really but instead it left her feeling a longing for something more. A bitterness that hardened her against not only her foes but life and living in general. Her time in the ocean is nothing but endless cold days of ruling and responsibility. A deep lonely place that she both loves and hates with all of her heart.

ON LAND

The prospect of being on land was both intriguing and horrifying to Lucia. She was a ruler of her waters and people and that was important to her. The mere idea of leaving that behind scared her more than whatever was plaguing Assyria. Death was not a source of worry for her. Instead the idea of having the only thing she’d ever cared for ripped away was what made her cold blood turn to pure ice. She’d always longed for something more than the life she was given but the chance to have it was now real and it was a true challenge. Being on land has made her feel even more lost than she ever has before. Lucia is holding herself back on enjoying the change she has finally been given. The chance to be someone else is so tempting but she’s falling back on old habits. Without being a ruler she doesn’t believe anyone would respect her and so she wants to climb her way back to some semblance of power here in Port Vale.

PERSONALITY

On the surface Lucia is often seen as cold and menacing to those around her. She has a gaze that causes many around her to cower or avert their eyes. She is haughty and confident in who she is and holds herself with a grace and regality to match that. Her strength is what has gotten her as far as she is. Without the strength of character she may not have thrived as a ruler and warrior for her people. She’s careful and calculating when the circumstances call for it. Lucia is also highly intelligent as she’s spent much of her life alone and focused her energy on learning everything she could to maintain her upper hand on the things around her. She values being as independent as she is despite a deep loneliness in her soul that she keeps hidden away from everyone. Underneath the armor of strength and ice she uses to protect herself Lucia is a truly caring ruler. She wants the best for everyone around her often at the expense of her own happiness. Her emotions have always been a hard thing to approach as she’s chosen to ignore the ones that she deemed weak or useless. Lucia is an intensely complicated person at her core but most people don’t bother to see past what they think is her cruel exterior. Restrained to the point of stunting her own emotional development Lucia is still a work in progress with so much more to offer if others would just take a chance on her.

HEADCANONS

She wears a heart of the ocean sapphire pendent at all times and has had it for as long as she can remember. It’s the closest she has ever been to having her sister near. She never takes it off. 

[scorpionite-astrology]

SUN IN Pisces ♓️

Ruler: Neptune/Jupiter ( ancient astrology ).

Stone: Rose Quartz and Amethyst.

Nickname: The vessel

The lost mermaid who longs for a home in the real world. This being is someone complicated made by desires, fantasy, dreams and hopes who are felt in their heart. They have a delusional approach to life and their perception of things is abstract. They experience the world like images they build in their mind. A colourful personality with strong desire to express their feelings on what they feel is right. Their signature characteristic is their empathy, which they also use as a weapon. Another trait is their ability to shape their personalities in what they feel to be at the moment. They can go from the sexy person to the nerdy one in a blink of an eye. One of the most underestimated qualities is their ability to find logic in chaos. For that reason they are great at solving other people’s problems and especially those who lead a chaotic life. They identity however is rarefied and influenced by other people’s energy. In a group they tend to replicate the mannerisms and lifestyle of their friends. This can lead to lose their identity, thinking something they are actually aren’t. They long to find their place in the world and to feel like they are human being. They crave acceptance but find hard to detach. They think their light is always outshined, which is not true. You truly make people feel seen for that reason you become our light. Your shadow side is gloomy. You can become disillusioned and bitter. You could have the tendency to curse and damn everything around you as well God or any other entityies you believe in, labeling them as the main cause of your misfortunes. You could become like a polluted ocean. You could engage in behaviors that are risky not only to your health like heavy drinking and use drugs, but also for who does love you. Another remarkable bad traits could be you feeling that you deserve better from the world, which is also can be true, still walking in this line of self-destruction is not a good way to protest actually you are helping it. I must say that you can be also very generous, but at the same time opportunistic.

Sun in Pisces in the 1st house:

You try to assert and bring life to your character in a quirky yet bubbly fashion. You want that your personality shines for what it is instead of camouflaging yourself. Even if you will find some resistence in your way with people who don’t understand you, like Luna Lovegood you can bounce back again and find strenght in your sensitivity and being aware that you are being yourself.

Sun in Pisces in the 2nd house:

You are a giver and find yourself in taking care of who you love like a very doting grandmother or grandfather. You don’t care about expenses if that makes your family happy. For you the most important things are your people and their needs. This matter for you is as important as paying bills. Can treasures stuff like stones and other things that you see as having magical properties.

Sun in Pisces in the 3rd house:

You are more keen about informations that you analyze with your gut. You can be very good at deciphering and feel when there something that is missing just by pure intution. You could find easier to text then to talk with people.

Sun in Pisces in the 4th house:

You find your home not even in your physical home but in your mind and inner world. You could like to isolate yourself and be contemplative. Like to reflect and wonder. You could have a dad who was the kept one. Your family could descend from a witchy or psychic lineage.

Sun in Pisces in the 5th house:

You could be someone who is cordial but elusive. Someone who is really fun to be around but prefer cultivating their talents which include crafting arts. Can feel a strong magnetic pull toward children and teaching them stuff or to tell fairy-tales to impress them. The father can be the figure who inspired them to never give up on their passions and could have tought them how to draw or play an instrument.

Sun in Pisces in the 6th house:

The native can easily put others’s needs before their own. You can be pleasant, cheery and helpful. At times too much which can compromise your health. You can easy stress yourself out even if you don’t want to believe it. You can be the more realistic PIsces and the one who accustomes more to the harsh realty. You try to be the optimistic one even when confronted with hardships and negativity.

Sun in Pisces in the 7th house:

The native is an hopeless romantic and can be sacrificing. They could envision their life like a fairy tale and prone to not feel alive if they don’t have a companion. It’s not rare that this native can be too much depedent on what his spouse or lover thinks. Sometimes this behaviour stems from losing the affection of someone if they don’t act as someone ask them to. It could be also an indicator  that your father may left you to seek other things.

Sun in PIsces in the 8th house:

This individual is gifted with great emotional intelligence which can use for bad and good. Is someone who can be darkned by the house itself. The native can react badly when confronted with lies and create more damage. They can also have fear to be not strong enough in relationships and to fail in build a loving relatioship. They could sabotage their relationship by being manipulative and making themselves look the victim. They could find hard to discern behaviours and deceive themselves by looking only the bad side of it. They can be pessimistic, however if they learn to be more obejctive and to keep their thoughts in check they can be a great supporter of others. Judgemental.

Sun in Pisces in the 9th house:

Visionary and a reader. Well-rounded and open minded. Someone wise and patient. It’s someone who likes to expolre ideas and to feel the world like an alien who is for the first time on earth. As much they would like to explore and be in nature, they could find moving and travelling scary. They could get lost easily and bewildered in the mass. Attracted by movies and libraries. Some them can use precognition if other aspects confirms psychic abilities.

Sun in Pisces in the 10th house:

Who I want to be, who am I and what I need to ���be” to be. Those are the questions that probably are inside the native. They don’t know what they are and usually morph in many characters until they find that their personality which is a kaleidoscope and multilayered.They can be influenced by the views of other people and defined by it. The native seeks to become one with the world to portray their life like a movie and be known for their being “something else”. Dreaming big is their trademark characteristic. It wouldn’t be strange if they in their childhood desired to be a princess or king as a job.

Sun in Pisces in the 11th:

This individual in order to feel alive must have a group or mission to identify with. The native is humanitarian, compassionate and is moved easliy. Has a soft spot for people who are slaves, suffering or ill. They can feel obliged to take other people’s cause. They also can be seductive and innovative. They are interested in all social stigmas and are very hospitable. Even if they are one of the most selfless people you may ever met, still this doesn’t mean that they will trust you or let you in their world. They can be extremely reserved but will be outspoken regarding ideas that will help improve the world.

Sun in Pisces in the 12th:

Their vibration is probably the nearest to the veil and the other world. They can seem so distant, closed and complex because they belong more to something that hasn’t anything to do with the living. They can be extremely sensitive to any energies and are fascinating. They are ghostly and listeners. Their eyes dart around suspiciously and confused. They find hard to explain themselves because for them is like having one foot to one side and the other on the other side. They can be called as having the head in the clouds, but you will never know what they are experiencing there chaos, imprisonment or freedom. They have a soft spot for people who have mental illnesses which really often they think to have a link with. They could have felt to have something wrong since childhood and that could also emphasized by their family who didn’t believe them. The word that probably they could be identified with is outcast.

[blissfullylostinarabbithole]

Duckling Pt. 7

Pairing: AU!Teen Wolf x Reader x AU!Avengers, Derek Hale x Reader

Word Count: 1.6k

Summary: Peter learns why he should never, ever approach the owner of the yellow Skylark.

A/N: This one’s a short, little filler, but not to worry! The next part will probably be up by the time you finish this one!

A/N 2: Plot requester didn’t remember the name of the film this is based on, so if you recognize it, let me know!

<< Prev  .  Next >>

Nat hadn’t spoken to Brock since that game. He’d gone over to the house, actually walking up to the door, and asked to see her on a few occasions. She turned him away every time. She knew she was a hypocrite for getting as angry as she did, knowing she wouldn’t have cared had he attacked any other player on the team. It didn’t matter, though. She was actually pleased she was rid of him, much to her own surprise. More than anything, she was relieved that no one saw anything at the game. Still, she didn’t relax; she couldn’t. Not only would there be other games, but she knew it would only be a matter of time before someone ran into you. It was a small town, after all, at least compared to New York. All she could hope for was that no one recognized you when they did. 

The only bad thing about breaking up with Brock was that now she was back at square one; no boyfriend, no friends, and nothing to do. She considered pursuing something with Clint, but it seemed to her that every time they spoke, it was because she initiated it. 

Word spreads fast in school, so she knew everyone knew she had left her old group of friends behind, yet no one stepped up to try to befriend her. She thought for sure Clint would, but he didn’t. At first she thought maybe it was because he was Brock’s teammate, and it would complicate things or cause problems amongst the team, but it looked like Brock was getting the same treatment. It shocked her, as she didn’t think his usual crowd could ever do anything but worship the ground he walked on. She didn’t care, though. Brock was no longer her concern.

For the first time in a long time, Nat didn’t want distractions. She wanted something real. It hit her when she saw not only the concern of your teammates, but the concern of some of the academy’s players, too. She saw how T’Challa had commanded his players to back off when Derek beat Brock, and when Clint actually spoke to you, making sure you were ok. It made her realize just how lonely she really was.

She didn’t understand it until she saw Derek, though. He was even angrier than she was when Brock tackled you, and Clint’s words came flooding back to her.

When you see them together, you’ll know.

The relief on his face when he realized you weren’t hurt morphed into pure adoration. As he looked you over, needing to be sure you were alright, her own heart broke at having never seen that look on Brock’s, or anyone’s, face. Whatever Derek was, whatever he did or whatever facade he put up, it’s not who he was when he was with you. Meanwhile, she never dropped hers in front of anyone. No one had ever made her feel the way you seemed to make each other feel.

Now she’d seen you together, and she knew.

She never stood a chance.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

As much as Peter missed his friends and his old hangouts, he was starting to love his new home. He had a smart, beautiful girlfriend, an awesome car, and little to no city traffic to prevent him from enjoying it when the time came.

He was in the driveway again, listening to the radio in his ‘new’ Chevelle. It was about the only thing that worked in the old car, but that was the way he wanted it.  Sometimes the twins would join him, making engine sounds and pretending they were on a trip. Other times, he’d end his dates with Shuri there, talking until it was time for her to go home.

The sun had just set, and the light was quickly diminishing. Her brother was due to pick her up any minute, so they sat in the car, relishing the last few moments they had together. They were speaking animatedly about their plans for spring break, which Steve had surprised them with a trip to the southern part of the state, and invited Shuri to come along. She had squealed that she’d always wanted to go to Disneyland. 

A yellow car sped by, and Shuri pursed her lips at the gleam in Peter’s eye as he watched it shrink in the distance. He turned back to her, and his smile faltered at the worried look on her face.

“What’s wrong?” he asked. “You don’t like the Skylark?”

She shook her head. “It’s not that.”

“Oh, well, what is it?” He could hear her mind working, trying to decide if she should say what she was thinking. “Do you know who owns it?”

“No, not really. I know her name’s Y/N Lang, and she calls it Honeybee.”

“Aww,” Peter gushed. “That’s cute. You think she’ll let me take a picture of it? My friend Ned back home would-”

“No!” Shuri interrupted, clutching tightly on his arm. “You mustn't speak to her!”

“W-why not?”

Shuri sighed, deciding it would be better to tell him what she knew, rather than risk Peter putting himself in danger. “Because of Derek Hale.”

Peter knew that name, he’d even seen the guy around town once or twice. Most people seemed to be afraid of him, from what he could tell. “What’s he got to do with anything?”

“He’s her boyfriend,” she leaned in, whispering as if it was some big secret. “Things don’t go well for people who cross their path. I’d say ‘Just ask Matt Daehler’, but...”

Peter’s brows knit in confusion. “Who’s that?”

“A boy who was found drowned in a creek last year. A shallow creek. My cousin said it happened just days after he spoke to her. Derek was the prime suspect.”

Peter visibly paled, swallowing hard at the information she’d given him. “But, there wasn’t any evidence, was there? Since he’s free right now. Why did they think it was him?”

“Look, we don’t even know Derek. My cousin thinks all the rumors are true, but my brother’s not so sure.” She hesitated again, but she quickly relaxed, resigning herself to just getting it all out there. He’d hear everything eventually, it might as well be now. “His family died in a fire a few years ago. Only three people survived: him, one of his sisters, and an uncle who said it was a miracle he was able to get out. Then, two years ago, his sister was killed. Had their uncle been trapped in the house, the only surviving member would be Derek.”

“Wait, so people think he killed his own family?”

“That’s the rumor,” she said. “It’s not just family, but girlfriends, too! Before his sister, his girlfriend was found in the woods. Then it was an ex last year. Throat ripped right open. Then when Matt died, and people started saying he was seen talking to Derek’s current girlfriend…”

“They assumed he did it.”

A loud knock on Shuri’s window startled them, making them both scream. They could hear T’Challa laughing, and they climbed out of the car just as Bucky ran out the front door, clutching a large hunting knife in his hand. 

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

There weren’t many times you were seriously angry at your sister, but this was one of them. You’d all been ready to go, and were only waiting on your dad to double check the back door was locked before leaving, when Cassie spilled juice all over herself.

Now your dad had to get Cassie cleaned up and changed. You’d offered to do it, but he already had her halfway up the stairs and told you to sit tight. You swallowed thickly, turning back toward the living room.

Hope smiled at you, but you could see it didn’t reach her eyes. You offered your own strained one in return before taking a seat on the couch across from her.

“So,” she began awkwardly, “will Derek be joining us tonight?”

“Oh, um, no. He has… other things to take care of.”

She nodded in understanding, only letting silence linger for a moment. “Everything’s going well at the garage?”

“Yeah, he’s… he’s good.”

“That’s good. And you? Are you happy at Argent’s?”

“Can’t complain.” You hadn’t noticed when your knee began to bounce, so you pulled your legs up and sat cross legged instead. 

“I hear your team made the semi-finals. Excited?”

The minutes dragged, and though you resolved to try to make things less awkward with Hope, it didn’t seem like it was any different than before. You suffered through small talk, silently begging your dad to hurry up and get down there already.

It felt like hours had passed by the time they descended the stairs, finally ready to begin your ‘family’ outing. They were a regular occurrence, but it was the first one Hope attended.

It wasn’t too bad, once it was the four of you again. You pretty much just focused on Cassie, keeping interactions with your dad and Hope to a minimum. It was easy enough to do, and easy enough to not let negative thoughts creep to the forefront of your mind. At least, it was until you fell a bit behind, and noticed how sweet the three of them looked together. 

They held Cassie up, swinging her between them as she laughed. You tried to be grateful that Hope seemed to genuinely care about them, but you couldn’t help the gnawing feeling in the pit of your stomach that made you question if there was room in that picture for you.

Your father’s laughter pulled you from your thoughts. As you picked up the pace to catch up, you realized it didn’t matter whether or not you fit in. You only had a little more than two years of school left. After that, you’d be off to college, or moving in with Derek, and you wouldn’t have to feel like the odd one out anymore.

Permanent -  @melconnor2007 @ria132love @psychicwitchphilosopher @sireennotsiren @silence–in–the–library @thefridgeismybestie @hymnofthevalkyrie @abbybills22 @mvasquez492 @ek823 @nicky10876 @sophiealiice @madeof-ink @dugan365 @magnitude101999 @way-ward-whale @i-am-the-fandom-warrior @seabasstiantrash @eden-the-human-garden

Duckling - @lgkoval@charmed-1998 @broco8 @sailor-earth-1 @sincerely-kizzy 

If I missed you, let me know!

[sanstropfremir]

I absolutely LOVED reading your kingdom review. You gave me such an insight in things I never even considered, especially since our rankings are so different from each other. The Boyz was my favorite, the narrative was about RTK. How they felt bad for having to compete against their friends but eventually the groups only lifted each other up and it helped TBZ grow into the group they are now through the hardships and mental dilemma, falling into the next challenge right after they reached the top. It should have been more obvious though, I agree, it wasn't really visible for anyone who didn't know. I was wondering how you felt about the dancing in general? my reason for not ranking BTOB high was lack of choreo (and Peniel's verse), same goes for SF9. Mostly because I don't feel the hype when watching, it doesn't keep my focus on the stage. As a baby-performer myself, my goal is to make the viewer curious about what's next. is that the wrong way to look at it? that's what I've always been told, building the tension up and down to create focus. would love to hear your feedback on that! thank you so much for sharing, we need more reviews of people who actually know what they're talking about.

i'm glad that you got some insight from it! like i answered in the previous ask im here to hopefully bring some more depth and understanding for people that care and are curious!

you unintentionally proved my point about tbz’s performance: that is way too complicated! even the most talented solo dancers i can think of would have trouble distilling that down to something readable in 100 seconds, much less a group of like, a dozen people! the introductory stages are meant to show us the character of the group and their abilities in the most concise way possible, it's not the stage to do deep philosophical and emotional introspection. for a full stage? absolutely, go hog wild! but for this stage it was too ambitious and ultimately was ineffective to anyone that isn't a fan of them specifically. 

by dancing in general do you mean like, every group? i put most of my opinions on the dancing where i had them in each of the individual rankings but honestly? unless there is something that really stands out positively or negatively, a lot of ‘average’ kpop dance looks the same to me. i know it’s not, obviously, and if pressed i probably could do a more serious breakdown, but dance is only one element of performance. it has equal weight with all the others in my mind, and therefore i notice when it is either 

very good

does something unique

very bad, or

interferes with another element

which is the same as how i evaluate every element, if that makes sense. 

hmmmm. i thought about this a lot in the shower and turns out i had more opinions that i expected so i'll put them under a cut.

firstly, i don't think lack of choreo should be penalized or considered an ‘incomplete’ performance. at the end of the day, these are bands, and a part of their brand/product they sell is the music. complex choreo does not need to be attached to that to make it a successful performance. also, btob did have choreo. any movement on stage is technically choreography. but this terminology can cause confusion so usually non-dance choreo is referred to as ‘blocking.’ but they also did include the song’s original point choreo at 1.41. the blocking in their performance was well thought out and suited the arrangement, by placing spatial emphasis on each part of the song that needed it. obviously it comes down to personal taste if the performance is ultimately ‘successful,’ because all art is subjective, but just because something isn't as visually complex as something else doesn’t mean it doesn't have the same level of thought. think of it like this: one is a super clean-lined post-post-modern grey/white living room, and the other is a kitsch goth basement. both share interior design principles and have obvious care put into the space, but they are vastly different styles that appeal to different tastes.

part of the job of production designer/AD is to decide what gets emphasis. a question you're always asking yourself is ‘is this important to the story that we’re trying to tell?’ and btob/their AD made a very smart choice with their introductory stage because it says a lot about them and their abilities in a short amount of time. that stage said ‘our foundation is strong, we have the training and experience and confidence to be up here and not rely on visual tricks.’ because they know they physically cannot do the things the 4th gen groups can; they're a decade older and they only have four members, it's just not feasible. something you learn with experience is the power that specific and pointed emphasis holds, which segues into my answer to your last question. i don't necessarily think that ‘building hype’ is the wrong way to perform something, but i do think it is a flawed way to approach creating a performance.

i think that ‘hype’ is flawed concept at its core, and one that focuses on the idea that there’s always being something more, something next, beyond the work itself. now there’s nothing wrong with playing with tension within the internal structure of a piece, that's exactly how constructing a narrative happens. however, the flaws come once we extrapolate beyond the boundaries of that individual work. the idea of ‘whats next’ implies that you have to constantly be promoting, have a sequel coming, building hype etc so people will keep engaged with your work. which is deeply capitalistic in nature and operates on the assumption that art exists purely as a product to be sold. and in order to keep selling you need to keep making a bigger and better and more spectacular product. and this is not the case at all. marketability is not the essence of art, it merely a factor of creating it under this insufferable system. kpop in particular suffers from this because the industry is specifically fabricated to produce capitol. we can have discussions all day about idols and their artistic integrity but at the end of that day, they are all cogs working with a system that was specifically made up by essentially one person to be culturally exported and to just print buckets of money. so in following that train of thought, there is a constant attitude of bigger and better because shock value (whether positive or negative) gets social media attention and therefore it sells. and it has become exponentially easier (and also seemingly required) to make things that are bigger and better than ever before. i remember being blown away by the projection floor at the sochi 2014 olympics because something of that scale and complexity would never have been possible without literally having the funding of the olympics. now that technology is easily accessible to anyone with an amazon account and the time to learn how isadora works. in comparison, it took 2400 YEARS for just the job of a ‘theatre designer’ to be even become a job at all.

because of kpop’s fan culture it is especially prone to ‘hype’ behaviour. in general with the accessibility of the internet and social media, everything has turned into a competition, and who can generate the most buzz ‘wins’. but ultimately that has taken away the general public’s ability to recognize that you can enjoy something quietly and you can enjoy something slowly. that the enjoyment of something doesn’t need to be all exclamation marks and keysmashes and trending hashtags on twitter. there is value in a work engaging in an emotion within you that is not just excitement. most of the artists and companies that i consume the work of i don’t do so because their work makes me excited, i do so because i liked the experience of engaging with that work. several years ago i saw the eternal tides by legend lin dance theatre, which you can watch a really short clip of here. that is not slow motion, that is actually how slow the dancers are moving. and 90% of the show is performed like that. and its two hours long. and it was one of the most incredible performances i've ever seen. if i ever get the chance I will go see another one of their shows again, not because i care about how they can top that experience i had, but because i know they can produce that experience, and that is enough to make me want to seek them out again. the speed of the internet has also loosened the general public’s understanding of just exactly how long creating a performance work can take. the lead dancer in the eternal tides was with the company for eight years before she and the piece were ready enough to be performed. large scale operas, musicals, and plays often have a year or more of pre-production before they even get to rehearsal. smaller theatre companies workshop new pieces for years at a time. performance is hard and it takes time. you can eliminate some of that with sheer amounts of money and people, which is what the kpop industry has done, but it speeds up the cycle of consumption to a degree that is not sustainable, especially for companies and creators who do not have that kind of access. performers and performance makers often don't put enough trust in their audiences. if they like what they see, they will come back. they dont need to be constantly bombarded with content at all times.

now that i’ve said a bit about why i think hype is a flawed concept, let's bring it back to kingdom. sf9 did something very interesting with their stage in that they actively chose to limit their dance time. and this plays very well off the performance film stage that taeyang did a couple of weeks ago. taeyang is talented and confident (for good reason), and his solo was incredible. but when it came to the intro stage, instead of trying to one-up the solo stage, the group instead said ‘well people are going to be looking at us because taeyang is insanely talented, so let's show them that we ALL have the confidence and the attitude to be up here.’ no need for flashy theatrics, they had the foresight to do something that would make them stand out from the rest of the groups. even if i was just casually watching the stages without doing any analysis on them (like i did for rtk), i would still be able to distinguish them because they had the stones to stand around for half their stage time. now i recognize them and would like to see what else they can do. same principle as what btob and also what ikon did. there is a fine line between anticipation and hype that gets equated in media consumption nowadays, but the two are not the same.

i think the tldr on this is that you dont need to ‘build hype’ or ‘go all out’ to make an interesting work. just focus on telling the narrative that you want to tell, and the people that recognize that will come. i could have a lot more things to say about peoples shrinking attention spans and the constant stream of information that we consume on a daily basis that devalues the labour done by artists in the eyes of the public and promotes hustle culture that is burning out and damaging creators at a rate that is both exponential and frightening, but that’s probably for another time, because this is SO LONG

[twinklebysecretlights]

face mask

1.     Are Face Masks a fashion item?

Face masks, in this day and age, have become an absolute necessity. They are now as much in demand as basic everyday essentials like food and sanitary products. Keeping in mind the very sobering issue of the fast spread of corona virus, it is, undoubtedly, of utmost importance to not use the same mask regularly.In fact, it is recommended by doctors to change it every day. This brings forth the problem of mass producing and then recycling tons of face masks, which is neither very practical nor environmental friendly.

 With the introduction of reusable masks, that complication has been resolved. These reusable masks not only help the environment but also reduce the money spent on them, both by the seller and the consumer. The other major advantage of these reusable masks is the facts that people don’t have to change them every day.This allows themto focus on the aesthetics and designs of the masks.

 Over the last few months, designing face masks has become a major trend.New and more creative kinds of masks are being brought into the market every day. No one likes to wear a surgical mask with their very carefully thought out outfit. It is, to put it simply, both irritating and disappointing.

 Designers and Marketers have been producing and advertising beautiful and ingenious masks.They can be worn in coordination with everyday clothes as well as embellished and adorned masks to be worn on special occasion. Disney themed face masks, patterned face masks and even solid colored face masks are all very popular among both kids and adults. The main reason for this is that life cannot stop because of this virus. We must learn to live with it and enjoy our happy times and occasions while we have the opportunity to do so, and making sure that we are doing so safely.

 These face masks allow the perfect solution to this. Now, you can both prevent the spread of the virus and enjoy with your loved ones! Also you can buy them online and also on ebay, and in many cartoon designs and colors as well.

 2.     Face Masks for Children:

If you have children, then you know how hard it is to stop them from going out to play or to not indulge them with a treat every now and then.  But with the Global pandemic, it has become even harder to keep kids safe. It is not possible to pause childhood, or to keep children trapped inside homes at all times. It is detrimental for both their mental and physical growth.

 Children need freedom and interactions with kids their age. It is foundational for their development but parents also need to make sure that their children are safe and that they do not endanger themselves or their families. How they should go about that is the main question.Children are prone to take off their masks as soon as they find their parents even a little distracted.

 Even on errands or on a trip to grocery store, for which you cannot leave your kid behind, you need to make sure your kids have their masks on at all times. Children have a habit of touching everything. They also lick their hand or touch their face, which is a definite way for them to contract the virus. Even if you make them wear a mask, it is not a for sure guarantee that they won’t touch their face of take the mask off altogether.

 There is a very simple solution for this, which is to buy kids face masks that the kids actually love. Designers and businesses have started designing masks that attract kids, with their bright colors and illustrations of the most popular cartoons and characters, like toy story, Barbie and much more and the best aspect of these face masks is that they come with a filter. Because of this, kids are excited to wear their masks and tend not to take them off or touch them too much as they are afraid of ruining them.

 3.     3 Reasons to buy a designer face mask:

It is a fact that Kids like pretty things.They are generally very attracted to bright colors. And if they fall in love with a cartoon, well, then you need to prepare yourself to see that cartoon everywhere, from bed sheets to mugs, clothes to bags.They will want that carton to be in every aspect of their life. It may take some time for them to grow out of this phase and then they might fall in love with some other character and the cycle will keep on repeating even after they become young adults.

 If you’re a smart parent then you know you can take advantage of this obsession and make them do their homework or chores. All you need to tell them is that you’ll buy them their favorite toy or the bag with their favorite character, or even a character doll, and they’ll rush to do the chore or try their best at school.

 If you have been keeping in touch with civilization, then you know about the trend of designer face masks. Here are a few reasons why you should definitely invest in one for your kid:

·         It will keep your kids safe: Face masks are a definite necessity if you want to keep your kids safe during this pandemic.This is because it hinders the germs from getting in contact with the mouth.

·         They are pretty:As a parent, making sure your kid is dressed well, is one of the most demanding tasks. Coordinating an outfit is an entire chore in itself and then if you make them wear the monotonous face masks, the effort will be wasted. In that case, these designer masks are a definite must, as they are available in multiple colors and designs and will actually match the outfit!

·         Kids won’t take them off: Kids have a tendency to take their masks off if it makes them even slightly uncomfortable. This is very dangerous if they are in public. Buying them a cartoon face mask which they like is a sure shot way of stopping them from doing so.

·         They can be bought online: One major plus point is that you won’t have to go out and buy these masks from the store. You can simply order or ebay face masks. These cloth face masks are for sale on many outlets.

   4.     Difficulties in making children wear face masks:

Kids are very pure and generally unaware of the negativities around them.  They tend to not realize the seriousness of the situations that may have adults quaking in their boots, which is what makes them so special. Children have the ability to face difficult things with simplicity and innocence and a general straightforward approach to life. As opposed to adults who complicate every aspect of life. This is their most endearing quality of children.

 One such issue is the Corona Virus, which has been proliferating with lightning speed, and spreading fear and sorrow in its path. It does not spare anyone, targeting people irrespective of their age. One precaution that everyone has been recommended to take is to wear a face mask and kids are no exception to this rule. Though they generally don’t take it very somberly and put themselves and their loved ones at risk by exposing themselves to the virus.

 They do this by taking the mask off because they find it restricting or they feel uncomfortable or awkward wearing it. Kids generally will not wear something that they are not used to or do not like. During the initial few months of the pandemic, there were only the surgical face masks available or masks that were monotonous in color, which children loathed and generally did not keep on.

 Now-a-days, Designer face masks have been in vogue for the very reason that they attract children and hence lower the chances of them taking it off. These cloth face masks are very comfortable and have movie or animated character and designs illustrated on them. They not only add to the aesthetic value but also allow children to have fun with their appearance while at the same time, remaining safe and healthy. Kids face masks for both boys and girls are available in different colors and patterns now.

 Investing in these designer face masks for kids is definitely a good and intelligent decision and will save you a lot of money. Children are also less likely to throw them away or forget them in some public space. Furthermore, They are reusable so you won’t have to buy them in bulks.

 5. Face masks as creative outlets:

Everyone wants to look good. It’s a fact of life. People develop their individual styles through clothes and makeup, coordinating colors and given preferences to some, while ignoring other colors. These choices of appearances are a form of expression and everyone wants full control over what they are presenting.

In the last year or so, another addition has been made to the clothing that we have to wear and that is the face mask. It is a compulsory item that everyone needs to wear in public or even in private gatherings. Imagine a beautiful painting, with lots of color and trees, flowers, a captivating landscape and then in the middle of it is an empty circle. Wouldn’t the painting look incomplete, if not outright awkward?

This is exactly what it’s like to wear those simple blur and green face masks, which belong more in a hospital than in public. They bring down the entire aesthetic value of the person’s appearance and are very difficult to fashionably pull off.  

A good way of solving this problem is through the reusable face masks that can be designed according to your preference and choice. This gives the wearer full freedom and creative ground to explore. They can express themselves more openly through them and not feel like these masks are ruining their outfit.

These cloth face masks have filters, which provide double protection and also are pleasing to the eyes. Just like people experiment with their makeup, now they have the ability to experiment with their face masks, with brands showcasing ingenious designs and color palates.

Cartoon face masks are also available for kids, with animated illustrations on them. Boys face masks usually have popular animations like toy story and cars characters on them, whereas girls face masks have Barbie and Disney characters on them.

[calamity-bean]

oh miss calamity, my beautiful queen. i was wondering (if you haven’t already!) if you could write a meta about why yen wants her womb/a baby so bad? personally i think it’s because she “wants everything” and that ability is something she doesn’t have, not that she necessarily wants to be a mother, and she has lived so long and that’s something she hasn’t done yet? but i love your mind and would love to hear your perspective! thank you ☺️

Thanks for the ask! It’s an interesting topic, and a potentially very complicated one, I think, because Yennefer herself seems to me to have a lot of complicated and sometimes contradictory drives.

I should start by saying I haven’t read the books yet (*re-re-rechecks my place in the library’s request queue*) or played the games. While I gather that Yen’s infertility also features in the novels, I don’t know how their treatment of the topic compares to the show’s, so I’m coming at this purely in the context of the Netflix series. Apologies to book/game fans who undoubtedly have a more comprehensive understanding of her character than I do.

With that said, I agree with you that Yennefer’s desire to have a child is about more than just, y’know… having a child. Beyond motherhood per se, I think it reflects a more general sense of longing that she’s hoping to satisfy by achieving this one specific thing. I think part of it is indeed that it’s something she doesn’t have (and has been told she can’t have), not because a child would be a novelty but simply because Yen likes, in general, to demonstrate agency over her own life and choices; but on a deeper level, I wonder if what she’s really longing for — the core desire she’s trying to fulfill here — might be connection. A departure from the isolation that she has, to some extent, purposely imposed on herself, and a relationship that is based on loving and being loved as a person rather than as an object of beauty or provider of power.

I don’t fault Yen’s self-isolation, or her ambitious nature in general. When we meet Yen in 1.02, she is abused, unloved, poor, perceived as ugly — and utterly without control over her own circumstances, leaving her dependent on the very man who mistreats and then sells her. Is it any wonder that she wants so fiercely to be powerful, to be beautiful, “to be seen and adored with everyone watching” (episode 1.03)? I don’t think this comes down to vanity; I think it reflects a desire to not need to be dependent on anyone else ever again. Look at the way she rejects Istredd’s domestic fantasies about their future together; the way she rejects Tissaia “throwing her a lifeline” in 1.05; the way she rejects Geralt’s help with the djinn! “You heroic protector, noble dog, permitting my success so long as you command it yourself!” We often talk about wanting power like it’s a negative thing; it connotes greed, vanity, a destructive, immoral acquisitiveness. But Yen prizes power over herself and her surroundings because she knows too well what it is to be powerless. Everything she does, she wants to be able to do by herself.

And on the surface, she succeeds. She makes herself into the sort of person who stands apart from all others; who can get pretty much anything or anyone she wants and need depend on no one else in turn…

Yennefer, 1.07: “And it was fun to be wanted. The object of desire. After where I came from, I lapped it up. But they all loved the power that came with my position at court. Not my power.”

…But by 1.04, Yen’s found that — as is often the case in life — the things she thought would make her happy have not. Her work as a court mage is desperately unfulfilling, and I think Istredd had a point when he said that “no amount of power or beauty will ever make [her] feel worthy of either” (1.03), because Yen feels that the “love” her beauty and power earn her is shallow and misplaced — i.e., that “love” is not really for her. People love what she can give them … but what about her, as a person? Do they even see her as a person at all? Or do they see only the impressive persona she constructed in order to become who she thought she wanted to be?

And then Queen Kalis shoves a baby into her arms.

“To this baby, I am the whole world,” Kalis says (1.04), and despite Kalis’s own dissatisfaction with motherhood, I think Yen is struck by the idea of being so important to someone in such an all-encompassing way — not as a useful, desirable sorceress, but simply as an ordinary person in an ordinary familial relationship. Though she initially seems a little alarmed to be asked to hold a baby, her willingness to ultimately risk her life for the child contrasts sharply with Kalis’s willingness to sacrifice it for herself. For all her talk of how harsh the world is, Yen is not as callous as she might act. Tough, yes, and sometimes a tad cruel, but nowhere near heartless. I think of the way she interacts with the girls at Aretuza in 1.07 — how she teaches them and tries to warn them from making the same mistakes she feels she did — and I see in Yen someone who does want to care for someone other than herself.

There’s definitely a reactionary element at work here too. Yen knowingly gave up her womb in order to get the things she thought would fulfill her. They failed to live up to her expectations, so now she resents having been asked to pay that price. So to some extent, this is rebellion — a stubborn desire to spite Aretuza for demanding that price and to prove that she can, as you say, have everything. “They took my choice,” she tells Geralt in 1.06; “I want it back.” This definitely fits with her need for independence and control over her own life, but I think the desire for genuine connection — and to choose with whom she is connected — is still a big factor. I think this relates to why she’s so devastated to learn that Geralt may have bound them together magically through the djinn: in her eyes, the magic removes all of her agency from the equation, making her feel that this relationship she thought was based on choice and genuine connection, rather than in any kind of obligation or transaction, was “not because of anything real or true.” And when she warns the girls at Aretuza about infertility, isolation is the primary consequence she describes:

Yennefer, 1.07: “The ability to create life, real life? They take that from you. And then send you out so the only family, the only loyalty you have is to them.”

Yen is proudly self-sufficient — but feels isolated. She doesn’t want to need anyone — but she wants to be needed, and not merely in a way that means being admired as a useful object rather than truly seen as a person, nor in a way that requires her to compromise her own independence or personhood in order to suit the wishes of others. And like anyone, she wants to feel that her life has had a purpose, that she’s done something meaningful with her time. She once “believed that it would all be worth it” — that her work as a court mage would be her “legacy.” Would motherhood —  or, more broadly, family; or, more broadly still, meaningful personal connection — fulfill her the way magic has not?

…I don’t know.

It’s interesting — I’ve seen some posts on this aspect of Yennefer’s characterization, but much of what I’ve seen has come at it from an out-of-universe standpoint: i.e., “How do we, the audience, feel about the fact that this character was written with this motivation?” I think good points have been made about how centering a female character’s arc around motherhood plays into stale, gendered tropes, and about how Yen’s infertility (and other aspects of her arc) potentially reflect misogyny and ableism, etc. And I think those issues are worth discussing, though I’m not really going to get into them here, given that I’m clearly long-winded enough as it is.

But even from a purely in-universe perspective, there’s irony here, right, in that this whole theme is all still wrapped up in the idea of women as vessels: vessels of children, vessels of sexual desire, vessels of power. “And even when we’re told we’re special, as I was, as you would’ve been, we’re still just vessels for them to take and take until we’re empty and alone” (1.04). Yennefer resents her role in life and feels she’s only loved because she’s useful/desirable to others — yet Kalis, too, resents her own role and feels that it’s Yennefer who is looked at “for who you are, not for what you can give them.” Yen is not Kalis, and not every woman — not every person — wants or needs the same things … But in such a patriarchal setting, is a woman’s choice basically limited to what kind of vessel she wants to be perceived as, rather than whether she wants to be a vessel at all? And is the desire for a child merely another reflection of how much Yennefer craves external validation — to be seen and adored — despite how much she also wishes to be self-sufficient? Is the critical idea here not that Yen would be the child’s whole world (as Kalis put it), but the child would be Yennefer’s whole world — a meaningful vessel into which to pour her heart?

I don’t know! There’s a lot going on here thematically, and a lot going on in Yen’s motivations. All I can really say in conclusion is that I hope I made a lick of sense in trying to untangle it and that I haven’t completely missed the mark.

[imagitory]

Just thought I’d share a little of my progress in the game Harry Potter: Hogwarts Mystery! Right now I’ve just started year 5, and yeah, while the game definitely isn’t perfect, I’m having fun! If you want to read more about my character, I put in a cut! (Sorry about my character holding hands with your character Alana’s bae, @weasleyismyking540​ -- if I could’ve picked Chiara as Carewyn’s other half instead, I would have!)

My character, Carewyn “Cursebreaker” Cromwell, although she resembles me quite a bit visually, isn’t exactly like me, but one thing that she and I do share is a love of fashion! She changes outfits all the time depending on what she’s doing, from wearing all black when she was tailing Rakepick to wearing the Weasley sweater she got from Bill when she was trying to become Prefect. The outfit she’s wearing in her screenshots and in the biggest sketch I did is her usual “adventure” outfit, though she will break out the black version when she needs to be stealthy, like when she sneaked into the Forbidden Forest in fourth year. She also managed to become a Prefect, despite her disregard for the rules! In my head, I imagine it’s largely due to her maternal streak, rather than any astounding respect for rules and regulations: even if she’s a Slytherin, she likes protecting and looking after other people, especially social outcasts, since she herself has had to deal with a decent amount of people misjudging her. 

Backstory -- Carewyn is the second child and only daughter of the half-blood Cromwell family. Her father, Evan Bach, was a Muggle who left his family when his son Jacob received his Hogwarts letter and his wife, Lane, revealed her magical ancestry to him. After that, both Jacob and Carewyn took on their mother’s maiden name, Cromwell. Carewyn was a late-in-life surprise for her parents, being born only two years before Jacob started at Hogwarts. Jacob disappeared when Carewyn was eight years old, and ever since, Carewyn has been starved for news about her lost brother. Part of her worries that Jacob -- a Ravenclaw who was kind of obsessed with learning and achieving every single thing he could -- has gotten roped in with some bad people or, worse, that he might not even want to be found, so as to not shame her or their mother or to keep them from harm. Whatever his reason is, though, Carewyn knows she has to find out what happened to Jacob and remove the shadow of the Cursed Vaults looming over her if she has any hope of living her life the way she wants. Carewyn is close with her mother, Lane, but has greatly downplayed her involvement with the Cursed Vaults so as not to worry her.

Carewyn’s biggest flaw is her pride. Although she’s made a lot of friends at Hogwarts, she has difficulty showing vulnerability and tries to be perfect in absolutely everything she does. If she doesn’t think she can do something, Carewyn tends to ignore it and/or pretend it doesn’t matter. To complicate matters, when she started at Hogwarts, she actually dreamed of doing all of the normal things Hogwarts students do, like joining clubs, the Quidditch team, and the Frog Choir, but because of her brother Jacob and the Cursed Vaults, she’s had to basically put all of her more selfish ambitions on the back burner. After writing to her mother for advice, Carewyn selflessly gave up her spot in the Frog Choir -- something she really, really wanted -- to Merula with the thought that since she earned the spot once, she could always get it back the following year when there would be room for both her and Merula, but even that ended up having to be put off because of her quest to find the Cursed Vaults. Carewyn enjoys watching and playing Quidditch, but is reluctant to commit to the Slytherin team because she’s afraid of letting them down. Carewyn is actually kind of a stick in the mud too! Unlike her brother Jacob, Carewyn is a meticulous organizer and planner who believes everything has its place, and despite liking Tonks and Tulip quite a bit personality-wise, she can’t stand the idea of most pranks, thinking they end up really mean-spirited and kind of stupid rather than anything funny. (This of course only makes her a fantastic target for pranks among her friends, who think she needs to lighten up!) Appropriate to a Slytherin, though, Carewyn can also be a little manipulative -- despite having a very strong moral compass, she isn’t above putting on an innocent face, playing mind games, or out right lying if it’ll help her reach her goals. She likes to look her best around everyone, both in her fashion sense and in how she behaves, and she hates it when her more negative impulses or insecurities peek through. Her biggest insecurity is her lack of control about her own life. Because she feels like she’s the one with the most drive to find the Cursed Vaults and break their enchantments, Carewyn has subconsciously assumed all responsibility for the fall-out and blames herself if anyone else is put in danger because of her search for her brother or because of the Vaults. She wants to control absolutely everything in her life, but the most she can control nearly all of the time is her attitude, her workspace, and how she presents herself, so she does so. Her greatest fear would be a threat she’d have no hope of controlling or overcoming -- namely, Voldemort.

Relationship-wise, Carewyn’s closest friends are Chiara, Bill, Talbott, Charlie, and Barnaby. She also really respects the eccentric Captain of the Slytherin Quidditch team, Orion, and fancies Ravenclaw’s own “Style Wizard,” Andre Egwu, who shares her love of Quidditch and fashion. The thing Carewyn likes best about Andre is how passionate he is about his interests and therefore how much fun their conversations are. Fortunately Carewyn’s interest is reciprocated -- Andre and Carewyn attended the Celestial Ball together and have now been on two dates, one at Madame Puddifoot’s and one in one of the Hogwarts Greenhouses after a Valentine’s party hosted by Gilderoy Lockhart that neither of them remember very well. (META NOTE: As mentioned, I probably would’ve paired Carewyn with Chiara if ANY of the dating events would’ve let me, but I really like Andre too. And after choosing him for the Celestial Ball, it only felt right for Carewyn to stick with him, as I see her as a very monogamous sort, relationship-wise.)

Carewyn latched onto Chiara very quickly because of her “outcasted” status as a werewolf, and since then, she’s sort of become Chiara’s own personal Sirius Black, using her hawk Animagus form to keep Chiara company when she transforms. The Weasley family (Bill especially) sort of filled the hole that Jacob left in Carewyn’s life, but because Carewyn loves magical creatures, she really enjoys talking about dragons with Charlie and everything else with Barnaby. (Barnaby really enjoys whenever Carewyn sings to the creatures she’s working with to try to calm them down.) Carewyn was also pleasantly surprised to find out that Talbott enjoys poetry, given that she loves the arts (music especially), so she encourages him wholeheartedly in his writing, even if her enthusiasm kind of weirds Talbott out a bit. (He likes it, though.) Carewyn clashes most with Tulip (largely because of Carewyn’s aforementioned dislike of mischief), Ismelda (her sadistic streak turns Carewyn off big time), Skye (Carewyn was really upset when Skye started telling rumors about Erika Rath without any proof!), and Professor Rakepick (who Carewyn at present doesn’t trust at all, but will be play nicely with if it’ll help her find out what happened to her brother). (META NOTE: I also adore that Carewyn and Rakepick have some physical similarities, even though that wasn’t on purpose -- it just makes for great visual symbolism, considering that Rakepick is clearly trying to groom Carewyn as one of her apprentices!) Carewyn is also pretty protective of Ben and now Penny, since her younger sister Bea has gotten trapped in a portrait thanks to the Vaults’ most recent curse.

Although the so-called “Most Powerful Witch at Hogwarts,” Merula Snyde, would love it if she were Carewyn’s main rival at school, Carewyn’s kind of gotten tired of the old song and dance Merula’s done with her these last five years and now tends to just ignore her terrible behavior. When Merula is willing to play nice, Carewyn’s glad for her help, but she honestly just isn’t interested in indulging Merula when she’s being awful anymore (which is often). And as much as Carewyn may think of Merula as immature and irritating, she knows that Merula had it rough growing up and that the two of them have a few things in common, like their love of music, and her mother (who was a Ravenclaw like her brother) would counsel her to choose the more peaceful route over active hostility. Carewyn wouldn’t call Merula a friend exactly, but she’s more of an ally of an enemy purely out of necessity, and for that, Carewyn shows Merula the base level of compassion and respect, but nothing more.

Carewyn’s favorite professors are Flitwick -- who taught her about Wizard Dueling and teaches her favorite class, Charms -- and McGonagall -- the one teacher who she respects above all others and would never have the heart to lie to. Being a Slytherin, Carewyn also trusts Snape’s judgement, even if she gets little of the standard favoritism from him: she was all too eager to try to help him spy on Rakepick. She also adores Care of Magical Creatures and probably would enjoy History of Magic more if Professor Binns didn’t teach the class, since her mother Lane works as a magical historian.

Carewyn’s love of magical creatures has prompted her to adopt several pets and magical creatures on the Hogwarts grounds. Her most constant companion is her orange tabby cat Mimi (named for the halfhearted “meows” she gives), but Tulip also gave Carewyn a toad she named Sir Robin the Brave, or “Robin” for short (kudos to anyone who gets the reference!!). At the magical creature preserve, Carewyn has trained a Niffler named Wicket, a Fairy named Belle, a Welsh Green Dragon named Esmeralda, a Porlock named Tumnus, and an Abraxan Winged Horse named Arjuna. Carewyn’s connection with her Abraxan is also beautifully reflected in her Patronus, which is also a Winged Horse.

I’m looking forward to seeing where my curse-breaking baby goes from here! For those of you who have advanced further in the game than me, I can’t wait to catch up with you!

[atlas-of-a-human-soul]

The wrong girl, pt.4 (E.D.)

Summary: Ethan finds himself stunned once Y/N shows up at his door.

Warnings: angst, swearing, fluff

The Wrong Girl - Masterlist

"You're here!" Ethan exclaimed, stopping in the middle of his heated rant with himself and furious pacing back and forth his living room.

Y/N swallowed thickly, biting her lower lip as she cast her eyes to the older twin who had made a wreck out of her life.

"And I come bearing gifts." She pushed herself to smile, trying not to stare at his murky brown pools of chocolate he calls eyes.

Ethan looks at her hand, noticing the Starbucks goods she equipped herself with, raising a brow with uncertainty.

"Dairy free, I remembered." Y/N rolled her eyes as his lips immediately spread wider in response, a little too happy she kept his quirks so close to heart even after all this time. After all the grief she gave him for giving up such an important food group, he didn't think she'd account for it.

"That's great, but, uh, not to be a party pooper, but you're here?" Ethan steps toward her, just a small step that lessened the distance between them insignificantly in the actual sense, not nearly enough to make her feel uncomfortable. He was handsome from the depth of his eyes to the gentle expressions of his voice.

"Do you", she trailed off, itching to leave already as his continuous questioning of her current whereabouts made her anxiety skyrocket because she was right where she wanted to be, she just didn't want to talk about it, "not want me to be here?"

Widening his eyes, Ethan stumbled, losing footing and nearly falling head down. At the same time, Y/N screamed his name, terrified he's about to bang his head on the coffee table Grayson built, cracking his skull in the process. He's always acted like he doesn't have all his pieces together, but that would ensure it's true.

"You okay?" Her voice trembled, her hands shaking and the drinks she held onto were a moment away from spilling all over Ethan's precious carpets. He quite literally spent five trips to the store before he chose a carpet and he loved them way too much for it to be healthy, but it was just another quirk of his she learned to not only accept but love as well.

"I want you. Here, I mean. But I do want you. As in I want you with me. All the time. Everywhere." He looked up, his hands still at the table and the floor, keeping him steady while she seemed impassive to his proclamation.

"Everywhere?" Her eyebrow shot up, her lips curling to the left as her playful side came out.

"The bed, the shower, the car, the kitchen table, our pool, yeah. Everywhere." Ethan played along, honestly missing the flirtatious moments they shared when they just met. She looked like fun from the start and he wanted to know every part of her complicated soul. 

"Well, if you get my stuff from your yard, I'm sure we can make a few arrangements." She replied, pressing her lips together as her eyes flickered to her feet and remained on the drinks.

Ethan didn't miss a beat, jumping to his legs and finally diminishing the distance between them, taking away the drinks only to return to her and grab her face in his hands.

He was the kind of guy that wouldn't take an order but never needed to; whatever he was supposed to do, he did it. He told bad jokes and danced with moves humanity hasn't had the pleasure or horror of seeing for some time - and in her embarrassment she had never loved him more.

"You're moving out?" He asked out of breath, hearing his heart just as clearly as he could see her.

"Yeah. But, um, since I moved in with him, my old place is already gone and I have nowhere else to go." She sighed deeply, feeling overwhelming shame because she couldn't believe how stupid she was.

"I think I wanted to hurt you most of all. It's just that I'm so fucking bad at love and I made so many mistakes", but she doesn't get to end her rant, for he does it for her when his lips capture hers in a passion filled kiss that pulled her to her tiptoes just so their lips wouldn't part, even for a single moment. She could not have pulled back even if the world was ending. The first touch of his lips sent an aching shudder through her; his arms immediately closed around her, pulling her against him. Hardness surrounded her, his muscled arms caged her. His head angled, the pressure of his lips increased. They were hard, like the rest of him - commanding, demanding and a heartbeat later they were warm, enticing, seductively persuasive.

Y/N stilled, quivering, then he tugged and she plunged forward, into the unknown his lips offered. It was not the first time she'd been kissed, yet it was. Never before had there been magic in the air, never before had she been taken by the hand and introduced to a world of pure pleasure that a kiss could bring - so intimate, so heavy that most men couldn’t achieve completely naked.

His kiss left her giddy. Pleasurably giddy. What little breath she managed to catch, he took. The tip of his tongue traced her lips, a beguilingly artful caress. She knew she'd be wise to ignore it for he was leading her into realms beyond her knowledge, where he would be the leader, dominant one who would teach her things no one before him could despite trying.

A most unwise situation, a dangerous situation.

His lips firmed, heart welled, melting all resistance. On a sigh, she parted her lips farther, giving into his arrogant demand. He took what he wanted, shaking to her core.

However, humans are built so they need air and once their oxygen ran out, they separated, panting and smiling like teenagers.

Stunned, her wits reeling, she searched his face. One black brow slowly arched; his arms tightened.

"Was that okay?" Ethan chuckled, wondering if he crossed a line but he could hardly contain himself.

"Depends if it was because you love me or if you did it just to shut me up"

"Can it be both?"

"Yeah."

"Are you hungry? I can order something." He offered, still not moving as his lips brushed hers with every breath.

"Yeah, but not for food." She breathes out, all but whimpering with need for him even though she wasn't completely honest with him. In fact, she believed it would be better if he didn't know she had a few secrets left.

"I'm going to get your stuff first and we can definitely elaborate on that after." Ethan winked. His voice has a husky drawl and every step he takes is in slow motion to his front door with her just behind him and she knows he’s walking slow so she doesn’t have to run after him, but he’s rather confused once he finds only a duffel bag on his doorstep.

"Why is there only a duffel bag here?" Ethan frowned, unsure with what he's seeing because he knows he and she had so much stuff in her apartment it baffled him how she even got everything over to Jack's.

"Yeah. Uh, don't worry about it." Her tiny voice made him whip around, getting heated all over again and not for her body like he expected.

"What is happening right now?" He asked through gritted teeth, hating how she flinched with his tone and it only made his heart drop further when he realized his Snowflake looked way too fragile for him to be sharp with her.

When your world explodes from the inside Ethan is the man you want next to you. He feels the shock-wave and stays on his feet. Whatever he had to do disappears as he refocuses on what needs to be done. He'll cover every angle and stay right there until you can breathe, walk and talk at the same time. Then he stands back and lets you get back on with your life, never mentioning your crisis again and not wanting to discuss it further if that’s what you wish. But once the storm has passed his tolerance for backward steps is all but non-existent and negativity is banned. His shoulder is only for crying on when you can't stand alone, after that he expects you build inner strength, resilience. That’s what she loved most about him, because he would pick her up when she falls and help her piece herself together, but once she’s whole, he will not treat her like she’s made out of glass.

"Well, Jack and I...he doesn't know I'm here." She paused, drawing in a few quick, short little breaths as if she's trying to gather courage to speak. "Or that I'm not coming back." She finished, making Ethan break his own promise as his sharp tone pierced her defenses and she took a steal back just by seeing the fire in his eyes.

"You didn't break up with him?!"

GIF credit: @erosdolan

Tags: @accalialionheart @fallinginlove-16 @xalayx @heyits-claire @dolandolll @godlydolans @dolanstwintuesday @ethanhes @peacedolantwins @blackpinkdolan @dolandrabbles @softiegrant @inlovewithethandolan

[staroflightning]

Omg I love No Good Nick! I think it's interesting from a psychological standpoint, seeing Nick easily manipulate the other characters. Also the way her character grows and changes as she finds security and realizes she has s loving family.

It’s such a good show!! I absolutely know what to mean. I love how it’s presented as just a typical sitcom at first, but the more you watch, the more the characters are presented as actual complex human beings with flaws and mistakes and strengths and emotions (both good and bad), and the deeper the story gets. No one character on the show is perfect. Nick isn’t a bad person, she was manipulated, but she isn’t a purely good person either, because she’s done some pretty bad things. Molly does her best to help people, but her poor reviews on Franzelli’s restaurant drove a single dad out of business, and in s2 she held onto her pride and refused to admit she was wrong and ended up making the problem worse, when all it would’ve taken was a “I’m sorry, I was wrong”. Jeremy is my favorite character, but even he has his flaws, because he was honestly a prick to Nick in s1 and he’s very prideful (a little too much sometimes), and he has a habit of trying to plan everything out and not knowing what to do when his plans fall through. He had his entire life planned out with his “resume from the future”, but it all went away when Nick got him expelled, and he had to learn how to live spontaneously and not rely on plans. Liz is a great mother, but her competitive nature causes problems, both for her and for others. Ed is loving and caring, but he’s also naive, and his blind trust in Nick got him hurt in the end. Alternatively, Ed’s first priority is his family, but that’s what caused him to turn down Tony Franzelli’s loan, and that’s what led to the Franzellis wanting revenge. Even Tony Franzelli is complex. For the longest time, I had mixed feelings over Nick’s dad, because at first, he seems like a loving father. He calls Nick “Nicky”, uses a loving tone of voice with her, frequently talks to her, and she has loads of happy memories with him from her childhood. But as the show goes on, Tony Franzelli seems less and less like a good father, until Tony is straight-up manipulating Nick into hurting the Thompsons even after she has deliberately expressed that doing so makes her feel like a monster. Besides, Nick is right when she says that the Thompsons never made Tony go to the mob for money or rob a convenience store.

Every single bad deed on the show has a reason. Even if the reason isn’t always right. The Thompsons working together to take down Franzelli’s was bad, but they did it for their family. They justified it in their own heads. Nick scamming the Thompsons was bad, but she did it for revenge / for her dad / for the Harbaughs. Nick sabotaging Molly, Liz, and Jeremy was bad, but she did it out of anger for what they did to her and her dad.

No one character on this show is without fault, and no one character on the show does bad things just for the sake of doing bad things.

What I love about the season two finale is that Jeremy points this out. When the rest of the Thompsons are angry at Nick for what she did, Jeremy reminds them of what they did to make Nick want revenge on them in the first place, and he reminds them that they aren’t any more perfect than she is. Yes, what she did was wrong, but they drove her dad out of business and essentially ruined her life.

I love this show because it’s so complex, and it’s realistic. Everyone is flawed and complicated, and everyone does bad things that will negatively affect other people, but they always do it for a reason. It’s always justified in their own head. This show really puts into perspective who is a “bad person” and what it even means to be a “bad person”. It’s amazing writing.

This post got pretty long, but anon, if you want to DM me, I’d love to talk more about No Good Nick with someone who watches the show!! I have a lot of feelings about this show

[sncwbaz]

idk what ur opinion is on it but ur the first acc I thought to message after I finished wayward son but leik.. I don’t think I’ve ever been so disappointed in a sequel like:(()( it was so depressing and toxic ??? and like to me it was so ooc for them to be like that like yes I’d understand some communication issues considering their past but there’s no doubt in my mind they’d get thru it and be as happy as they could together like:(;( I’m sad bro

hello! i’m so sorry you had such a negative experience with wayward son :(( 

(my answer is super long omg i’m sorry. it’s basically me just going into a whole character study and explaining my view on where the characters are at in wayward son and such and i’m sorry if it’s too much aksdjhksaj. please don’t take this as me going “i don’t have the same view as u and here’s why i think ur wrong” but pls take this as “i’m sorry u had a negative experience, here’s me explaining my view in hope that maybe you’ll be able to view wayward son in a bit more positive light”. pls know i think ur totally allowed to be disappointed and upset!! i just hope to ease your pain a bit, sorry if i failed miserably) 

when i started reading the book my heart Broke when i realised where the characters were at. however, as i kept reading the book i adjusted to it and personally i now really love the book for a lot of the things it did/explored. 

i don’t think it was out of character for them to be in this place. i mean.. both simon and baz have an extremely complicated past (both together and separate from the other, their pasts are… not great). 

simon has so much to work through; actual 18 years of trauma. and since he’s never in his life learned to communicate anything (he’s never even learned how to communicate with himself: he hides from any thought that he considers too complicated to unpack), he’s kind of having a rough go at working through all this. carry on ended on a positive point in simon’s ‘recovery’. but recovery is never just nice even steps upward. recovery also comes with extreme lows. wayward son starts in an extreme low. 

simon has lost his idea of self so completely that he doesn’t know how to be a friend or a boyfriend anymore. he doesn’t know how to face himself and he doesn’t want to be confronted by who he has become. this is why being with baz is so hard for him, because being with someone so intimately asks for a lot of vulnerability from someone.. and to be vulnerable with someone you have to completely show yourself. simon isn’t in a place where he can handle showing himself like that. not to baz, not to himself. you also see, in wayward son, that the moments he is intimate with baz, it’s in/after moments where simon did feel more sure about himself/ moments where he truly felt comfortable: so at the faire for example, but also after having been able to fly over the desert all day. these were moments where simon was just comfortably being himself and thus also comfortable with being intimate with baz. 

i think that it makes so much sense for simon to have such a complicated relationship with his sense of identity. in carry on this is already touched upon when baz asks if simon knew he was gay. in response to this, simon explains that he doesn’t know if he’s gay, because he never allowed himself to think about it. during simon’s time as the chosen one, he didn’t let himself be anything but the perfect picture of the chosen one. anything that didn’t fit that picture, he didn’t allow himself to think about. he never truly got to know himself. his identity revolved around what the mage needed from him. and now the mage is gone and no one is there to tell simon what simon needs to be, and he’s never learned how to Just Be, which leaves him in this completely lost state. 

to me it makes sense that simon cannot communicate this to baz (or penny). he’s never once in his life been taught what proper and healthy communication is. and penny and baz both suck at communication too. (penny cannot hear anything she doesn’t want to hear–which is explored in wayward son. and baz i’ll touch upon later)simon’s never actually properly been raised by anyone. he’s lived in different foster cares, and from what we know of those he’s never felt like he was safe there (he drops some hints about it in carry on. i’m pretty sure he says he always sleeps fully clothed in those cares and that he’s been in fist fights with any kid there who looked at him wrong). in wayward son we find out that trauma has blocked out most of his memories from living in foster care. so we can assume he never truly got to develop as a kid in a healthy way of communication in any way shape or form, there. it makes sense for simon to not feel secure of himself, which explains a lot of his behaviour in wayward son and which made it feel very in character to me. 

then there’s dear baz. he actually seems to be doing better in wayward son than he was in carry on. as simon says in wayward son, baz really has come into himself. baz seems to be more sure of himself than he ever was, which makes sense, now he doesn’t have to live up to this image his family created for him as  much anymore. but if there’s one thing baz still struggles with it’s being vocal about what’s going on inside his head. 

baz has been taught to hide big parts of himself away for pretty much all of his life. starting with being a vampire, then being gay, then being in love with the last person he probably should be in love with, might we also add that he’s always actually been a soft hearted boy, but had to take the role of an antihero? we might. through his family he’s become very adapt at shushing anything remotely troubling up. which is something he still carries with him. he’s also learned not to ask questions. if there’s he has a question about anything that also might make someone uncomfortable, he’s learned to just not ask. (which explains why he avoids making simon talk about his feelings. he doesn’t understand what’s going on with simon, but he’s been taught not to ask questions if he can sense they may cause people to feel uncomfortable, so he remains quiet.)

besides the fact that they both SUCK at communication, their past together has only ever revolved around fighting each other. it’s the only way they knew how to be around each other. and long with all that has changed since the mage died, this changed too. 

add all of these factors together and i think it is very in character for them to be at the place they are where we start with wayward son. 

this doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt to watch them like that through. 

but i think that, knowing where these characters come from, they really had/have a lot to work through, with everything that happened in carry on. and i personally am glad that rainbow has decided to take the time to really give these characters the time they need to work through this, instead of having them magically be okay and ignore all the trauma they had to face in the past. 

it’s horrible to see them in a relationship that’s not truly heathy. but i think think they will grow into a healthier relationship. i really have hope that they’re working towards being more sure of themselves, which will help them become more sure (and thus healthy) in their relationship. i think that once simon gains more confidence in who he is, and once he stops running from every thought that makes him uncomfortable, he’ll learn how to speak his mind a lot better. (and i think simon really is growing to such a point. at the end of the book he came to the realisation that pretending he’s still part of the world of mages isn’t doing him good and that he is going to try and find work and become more independent, which is a choice that still made him sad, but it also felt right to him. having those thoughts were very confronting for him, but he didn’t push them away. the decision made him cry, but he also said it made him feel clean, which shows he’s confronting himself–finally–to move forward, no matter how painful)

rainbow rowell is not letting go of these characters yet. she’s not just gonna leave them like this, i fully believe this. i have hope that she’ll allow these characters to grow and recover to a point where they can have a fully healthy relationship (because i also really don’t believe simon and baz are incapable of a healthy relationship btw!! there were many moments in wayward son that showed them just being comfortable around each other, where it was purely simon’s insecurities that got in the way, and not the way they fit as people: like when baz was teaching simon how to drive. they really aren’t a bad match. they’re just in a bad place and don’t have the proper tools to help each other. but they’ll learn and grow and they’ll get there!!) 

i think that what this book did was show a deep low in their recovery process. this deep low is a necessary part of recovery. i think the way rainbow wrote about traumatised young adults was super respectful and accurate. i think she did it with a lot of respect for who these characters are and where they come from, and that she’s not finished with them yet. this is only the first step. but a very important one. 

the only thing that truly stresses me out about this book is the open ending. because oh man if we have to wait 4 more years to know how this continues i might just fully collapse. 

but yes, i think that, even though this book was harsh, it was a necessary step in their recovery. and i think that, besides the sadness of them being in such a low point of their relationship, this book still had many amazing moments that reminded me of why i love these characters so so much. 

i really hope you’ll start to feel more at peace with this book some day, and that you’ll find things in it that you can love it for. (not because i think that everyone should love this book, but because i genuinely wish for you that you could love this book)

i’m sorry for this super long answer, but i didn’t just want to answer “i’m sorry u didn’t enjoy the book, i had a different experience though”, because that felt unfair. 

lastly, here’s a link to a post where you can read a letter that rainbow wrote to us readers about wayward son, that might make you feel a little better too (it at least made me feel a little more at peace with the open ending) 

[tessacxstello]

hello im (F, 24) an idiot and forgot to post tessa’s (F, 22, fictional) intro!

pls bare in mind most of this was written 5+ years ago n i haven’t written tessa since 2015...... but lets get this show (LOCKWOODRP) on the road (DASHBOARD). 

tw school shooting, tw bipolar disorder

art hoe. always covered in paint. why?? she bad at painting

the mark rothko jackson pollock kind of bad tho wher people are like.... omg.... revolutionary..... its a badly drawn vagina

fuckin loves astrology, but cant take it that seriously bcos one of her bfs was a gemini so there’s some lenience there. but she WILL blame her hormones and mood swings on the positon of mars

embodies pure sunshine. 

one of those really annoying people that can go through the most traumatic shit and still find a positive spin. 

cares so much for others but does not really care for herself n it’s meant she just bottles up all this shit n when someone asks her how her day has gone she just falls on the ground like tht bit in midsommar when florence does that loud wheezy noise and sits down 

has never really had much money at all. learns to make-do with what she has. loves upcycling!! her bookshelf is made from cardboard which she’s reinforced by pappering it over with pages ripped out of thrifted books. her sofa is an old car boot which she’s repainted, put on wheels and stuffed w cushions so that it’s actually bearable to sit on.

her knitted cardigan? its made out of wife material.

knits all the time. will crochet you a christmas scarf. if ur lucky you might get a knitted jumper with a penis in a santa hat

still sleeps with cuddly toys n then wonders why ppl dont think she’s mature enough for a serious relationship

very passionate about Sister Doing It For THemselves!! raised by a single mom who worked her ass off so that tessa could do fun activities after school, have lelli kelly shoes, and go to college (not necessarily in tht order of importance)

tessa was born out of wedlock as the result of an affair between her mom (a journalism intern in her early 20s) and a new york times editor. 

the editor offered to pay tessa’s mom off to have an abortion, but she was like fuck u and told the papers he’d done that and used the money to cover the cost of her internship which they refused to pay her for

and because of the scandal, he ended up going through a pretty messy divorce with his wife, and losing custody of his kids. so as a child  tessa was seen as the cause of a divorce and received mutliple letters from the editors wife (to tessa personally!) and his kids saying how she had ruined everything, but her mom moved them to another town so tessa didn’t have to deal with that crap. 

her mom worked 3 jobs to put her through school, so in return tessa pushes herself incredibly hard to succeed. needs a break and a hug and to get laid to be honest. 

an old soul. likes old films, old music, old people. only recently got an iphone 5s so not really with this century yet

very sweet and soft and kind but also a fucking mess and won’t listen to anyone else’s opinion. she’ll take comfort, but not advice. 

feminist buddhist bisexual vegetarian for human rights and animal welfare. standing on a soapbox shouting about the climate in the quad, shoving flyers into your hands. flyers everwhere. she turns up at your grandmas funeral and shoves one into her mouth. she’s stolen the mic from the vicar to talk about pandas.

says “mother of pearl” and “heavens to betsy”.

had an affair with her married piano teacher and he’s now facing a custody battle and his wife is leaving him and tessa has completely internalised that guilt despite her being the victim in the scenario

aesthetics: paint splattered jeans, loose curls spilling from a scrunchie, thrifted blouses in bright yellow, guzzling coffee in the library at three am when a term paper’s due, shoddily illustrated campaign posters to save endangered species, polaroids plastered to your bedroom walls with scribbled dates on the frames, jumping into a stack of autumn leaves, jumping off piers in the summer months and stripping off your wet clothes on the beach, digging your thumbs into peaches to leave a bruise, smoking with the extractor fan on to hide the smell, bath bombs, letting the girls at lush rub samples all over your skin, cacti with knitted bobble hats, decorative pillows and sun and moon blanket throws, basic bitch fairy lights hanging from every single window, painting the name of the boys you’ve loved inside your wardrobe door.

studies fine art and philosophy, and wants to become either a lecturer or the first woman president. vibe wise, very similar to leslie knope, missy from big mouth, and basically the naive everygirl with a high opinion of themselves trope

gets drunk off like one double vodka lemonade because she’s small and she’s a pretty messy wild drunk. it’s when slutty tessa comes out, and the next day she’ll thoroughly regret every choice made and decide she’s never drinking again and cutting out all men and starting daily sudoko

on the cheerleading team and is a flyer, which she sees as a HUGE responsibility and she works really hard to make sure she’s on it for her team. one of those get up at 7am and go to the gym before school types its sickening

she had a really traumatic time at high school because there was a shooting in her school. she was in the next classroom when it happened, and she lost one of her friends in the shooting. she had to take two months off school, was diagnosed with depression and put on anti-depressants because of it. in her 2nd year of uni she was rediagnosed with bipolar disorder and anxiety, which she’s now on medication for. she can be really good for several months at a time and feel super creative and determined (she actually finds manic periods helpful for her creativity n art, n sadly sometimes doesn’t take her meds in these periods to push herself more which is obvs super bad.....). but when the bad periods come they can also last months n she had to take a semester out of school last year because of her mood, so she should be a senior by now but she’s retaking junior year

she attends weekly stress-management sessions prescribed by her doctor which she finds pointless.

very childish in the sense that she can only see her own point of view and kind of views herself as the “protagonist” and thinks her ideas are super important and life changing and she IS Destined for Greatness! despite being pretty much average af

pinterest board.

STATS

age: 22

height: 5'2"

positive traits: kind-hearted, gregarious, selfless, philosophical, open minded, idealistic, courageous, feisty, charismatic, loyal, adventurous.

negative traits: stubborn, hot-headed, reticent, escapist, self-destructive, easily led, naive, troubled, complicated, stepford smiler, envious, overdramatic, explosive.

distinguishing Marks: heart-shaped birthmark on the right of her chest, splattering of freckles across the cheeks during summer months, full lips, large eyes, porcelain features, long wavy hair, tattoo of a bird and a cage on her ankles and a basic bitch arrow tat on her wrist (srry to anyone with an arrow tat).

skills: jack-of-all-trades, talented pianist, perceptive, knows the correct way to throw a punch, good survival instinct, is able to remain calm in stressful situations, endures, artistic, excels in academic studies, hard-working and self-motivated, expert liar and talented actress.

likes: wolves, vintage thrift store fashion, old leather-bound books, left-wing democratic politics, cigarettes, poetry, John Hughes movies, cold coffee, hot tea, the sound of laughter, staying up til 4am having deep conversations, Tchaikovsky, having deep conversations about life, stationary, DC Comics, horoscopes, winged eyeliner, cats, knee-high socks, house music, abandoned buildings, studio ghibli, the smell of the earth after rain, Wes Anderson films, herbal tea, old people, solitude, esoteric things, the smell of freshly baked bread, Charles Bukowski, the moon.

fears: death, oblivion, global warming, losing those she loves, isolation, clowns, guns, enclosed spaces.

nicknames: Tess, T-Dog, Tessie, Socrates, Princess, Sunshine Girl, Florence Nightingale.

alignment: Neutral Good

MBTI type: INFP

BIOGRAPHY

tw school shooting

Her story begins with Cordelia Costello, a twenty-three year old college drop-out, turned beautician, turned columnist, turned intern at a local publishing company. She was a youthful, beautiful, siren of a women, always surrounded by an aura of enigma and an entourage of men. It was no surprise to the gossips in the office that within six months working at the company, Cordelia had added to her list another title – mistress to Franklin Hozier, the Editor of the New York Times. After two blissful months and three hundred and twenty seven orgasms, Cordelia decided she wanted a baby. Franklin laughed in her face. Feeling isolated and used, Cordelia continued her affair with her boss’ boss for another month, before deciding to take matters into her own hands.

It started with a turkey baster.

Soon the infant cries of a baby girl graced the world, her wrinkled skin puckered and pink as her mother held her in her arms, glancing upon the most beautiful thing in her life. Once Tessa, named after Cordelia’s favourite literary heroine, entered the world, Franklin left her life and things took a turn for the better. Despite living in a rented one-bedroom apartment in Staten Island, on what little money Cordelia had saved, Tessa’s childhood years were filled with nothing but the happiest of memories. Times were tough, but what they lacked in money, the Costello’s made up in love. While Tessa was at school, Cordelia did odd jobs cleaning, child-minding, working in local nurseries, in order to save up enough money to give her daughter the best start in life.

Despite what she had been led to believe by television shows and teen movies, the first few years of High School were some of the best years of her life. Tessa threw herself into a multitude of activities that High School offered her, including the drama club, the orchestra, choir, badminton and the school newspaper. While she certainly wasn’t considered ‘popular’ at school, Tess had a wide circle of friends and acquaintances. In fact, High School was a place where she made some of the greatest memories of her life, but come her final year, it was also a place where she was haunted by some of her worst.

On the January 17th of Tessa’s senior year of high school, a shooting took place in Westville High School. For two hours Tessa locked herself in a supply cupboard, her head between her knees as she tried to stay silent despite the screams of horror from the corridor. Eighteen students were caught in the crossfire, two of which were Tessa’s best friends. Bouquets of flowers, laminated photographs, Teddy Bears in cling-film bags attached to balloons littered the streets as families and friends came to pay tribute to the eighteen students withered before they had a chance to bloom.

It took two months of therapy before Tessa could return to school. Some of the survivors could never return due to the horrors that their eyes had laid witness to. Sometimes Tessa felt like a part of her had died with the friends that were stolen from her too soon, but one thought kept her going through: she had survived, she was alive and breathing, and she could not afford to loose a second of the precious time she had been granted on this earth. Despite the nightmares that continued to haunt her each night, Tessa found in the aftermath of the disaster a new sense of motivation. She began applying for scholarships for colleges without her mother’s knowledge, in the hope that her academic success would be enough to carry her through further education. Thankfully, it was, and after three torturous months of waiting Tess was offered an arts scholarship to her dream school, Lockwood University, where she hoped she could finally start to rebuild her life.

THE PRESENT:

Life at university was like a separate world. Students came and went like moths among the whisperings and the tequila and the stars. In this new world, Tessa was exposed for the first time in her life to alcohol, drugs, and the sexual appetites of other students her age – though she politely declined all three. Instead, Tessa threw herself into the vast array of activities in the hope that by distracting herself she could escape the terrible flashbacks that continued to haunt her. Tessa joined the lacrosse team, despite never having played before, and took up cheerleading discovering a new talent; she joined the musical theatre group, and the film club, and even set up her own acapella singing society. But despite how much she tried to throw herself into student life, her past hung around her like a bad smell, and with the added pressure of the Sinking Ships zine, Tess began to feel the weight of her secret tying her down like a pair of shackles around her wrists.

PERSONALITY:

If someone was to describe Tessa in a single word, it would most likely be ‘bubbly’, ‘open-minded’ or ‘sweet’. But they would be wrong – Tessa is not bubbly, or sweet, or stubborn, or hotheaded, or fiesty, or infectious, or any of the things the world see her as, but merely a numb and lonely echo of the gregarious, halcyon girl she once was. Tessa Costello was one of life’s enigmas. No one knew who she was, for to each person she met she wore a different mask – she dripped confidence, or was painfully shy; she was an exhibitionist, or a brooding wallflower; she took things too seriously, or not seriously at all. She was an actress and the world was her stage, each person she met a different member of the audience in the performance of her life. In truth, Tessa no longer even recognised herself. Insecure, and self-destructive, she tried to hang on to the extroverted, mischievous pieces of herself that everyone had once loved, but day by day it got harder to know what lay in the vacant holes blown through her mind. While she was stubborn and hot-headed, Tessa always saw the best in people, which meant that she was easily led astray. While she had grown up learning to be street smart and astute, she was idealistic and allowed silly fantasies to cloud her mind. By nature, she was passionate, which lead her to misimagine and romanticise those she met. Despite the hell she had witnessed, and the anxiety that feasted upon her, she believed that people were innately good and that to have courage and be kind could cure anyone of their sadness – yet she was unable to cure herself.

TWITTER:

@500daysoftessa: i blame disney films and musicals for my high expectations of men

@500daysoftessa: i am in love with the boy who works at starbucks. today i asked for a double latte and he gave me a tripple, which i think is proof that my love is requited. our children will be smart and talented and beautiful.

@500daysoftessa: little known historical fact: pharaohs were burried with their hands crossed over their chests because it was a popular belief there would be countless water slides in the after life.

[yawmanzo]

Yaws Personal Reflection on Touken

When I first watched/really read Tokyo ghoul, although I shipped Touken to get together eventually by some point; I didn't really understand why they fall so hard for each other at first. Upon looking back however, a lot of that could be attributed to the very nature of both characters. Touka (read here for my reflection on her) with a harsh/lashing out and violent exterior due to the violent past in which she grew up in as a ghoul, whilst still having a gentle interior and being selfless in most cases wanting to help others even whilst getting herself hurt.

Kaneki with a gentle exterior, yet a violent interior due to his own past and misgivings that we all know of as a human and being selfish in wanting to be needed by others and unconsciously hurting others by trying to burden everything upon himself and not fully rely on others.

I've noticed how Ishida likes portraying the values of Yin and Yang between the two (depicting them as polar opposites attracting and being complementary/interconnected/interdependent with some similarities as well, he did explicitly say they are characters of a set after all when he came up with them). Passive/ Active. Strong/Weak. Black/White. Direct/Indirect. Selfish/Selfless. Human/Ghoul. Harsh/Kind.

These terms aren't purely static stances but rather semblances of self that each saw/admired/invoked in the other, both positive and negative.

Kaneki said human relationships are like chemical reactions, if you have a reaction, you can't return back to your previous state of being.

Touka was there and saved Kaneki numerous times in Part 1 when he desperately needed someone the most aside from Hide and the others, while Kaneki also saved her several times.

What I love is the evolution of their feelings and relationship that started out pretty horribly with both seeing each other in a negative light as human (living a good peaceful life) and ghoul (being an evil killing monster).

The fact that a human becoming a half ghoul developed to be able to care and fall in love with a full ghoul that hated herself, the world, struggled working and living life as a human and ghoul is really phenomenal narratively speaking. Kaneki saw past all of Touka's violent exterior anger issues and looked at the gentle interior she possessed when it comes to how much she cares about people other than herself, even as a murderer. “If you died Touka-chan, I'd probably be sad”.

That line is so simple, yet for Touka it created a lasting impression since no one in her life really in viewed that kind value upon her, also count in her abandonment issues in always being left alone (Hikari, Arata, Ayato, later the Anteiku crew at the end of part 1).

Even if she had the Anteiku crew, no one truly gave that emphatic value about her life having importance and worth as a ghoul trying to LIVE in the human world amongst all the killing and violent predicaments of murder in the world, not even her uncle Renji or old man Yoshimura, even though they did look out for her. Meanwhile for Kaneki he felt like he belonged somewhere, again his most desperate desire. He felt needed as their friendship grew in training, fighting and working together, he wasn't alone anymore.

Even after getting separated after the Aogiri arc (about 6 months) and the Re time skip (about 3 years) you could always notice the subtle mentions of how much both thought of each other, Touka wanting to see him again and especially from Kaneki’s perspective even after each personality change in always mentioning Touka and Hide separately from every other important person in his life.

All personalities have mentioned her separately from everyone else (yes even centipede), “The others, Touka-chan and Hide”.

Even with the infamous bridge scene in part 1, Hide entrusted and helped Touka to expose Kaneki. And she did, however she unfortunately fell back on her violent anger issues and communication problems in truly conveying what she felt to Kaneki due to what can be seen as her fury at him being just like Arata and even Ayato to an extent. Kaneki promised never to leave her, yet he lied and left her to become stronger and shoulder all the burdens of everyone by himself in some tragic hero manner. Yet this time Kaneki genuinely believed his own lies, wanting to sacrifice himself to protect others when he said he wouldn't leave them.

However, unknown to Touka at that time, that encounter made Kaneki want to go back to Anteiku. “Touka, can I come back?”.

Haise sees her after 3 years at the second Anteiku home “Re” and cries after seeing that Touka was still alive after all this time and the encounter is titled “Inherited feelings”. Not for the person he knew the most in terms of time span, but for the beautiful person that created such a huge impression on him at the most vulnerable periods of his life after becoming a half ghoul and not having a true grasp on both worlds and companionship.

Is it unrealistic that Touka waited over 3 years for him and still had feelings only for him? “Even if time has passed, even if our bodies have changed, even if he had forgotten me completely... As long as he comes back home, things will be alright”.

Mostly yes for the majority but not strictly no… I view everything as not strictly one way with this; the main thing is about deep impressions that both instilled in each other, kinda like Star Crossed lovers, “I have faith in him, he will return”.

Touka was even willing to prioritize Kaneki’s own happiness and well being over hers as Haise in not forcing him to come back, but waiting for him come back of his own free will, even with all the new relationships Haise/Kaneki developed with other characters like the Qs family.

Time, change and distance never stopped them from still yearning to see the other, even amongst them both living different lives with different people and settings in part 2 of Re, most notably Haise/Kaneki with the Qs, CCG, Juuzou, Akira, Arima, Eto etc. Haise often visited Re just to look at her like he did with Rize even with his suppressed memories, even at times wondering what that girl(Touka) was up to. “I wonder what that person is doing today, on a date maybe?”.

Fast forward later to Touka also wondering about what Kaneki was up to in their 121-122 conversation... “Are you a virgin?”.

Black Reaper, the most savage,harsh and suicidal personality even changed his whole stance on dying simply upon looking at Touka in Cochlea.

This was also reinforced by Arimas threats in killing his ghoul friends, and the Hide inner dialogue about eventually finding a reason to live. I viewed this as a reverse of “If you died, I'd be sad” from part 1, both were scared at the very thought of the other dying. This time Touka is the gentle and kind exterior, Kaneki the violent harsh exterior not caring about his own life until someone reminded him the value of his life and the people that still care about that life. “Your life has MEANING, to us and to ME” type of thing, and as ghouls, they are hardly given any true instances of happiness, care and love that lasts before meeting a tragic end, some fuckery or death due to the harsh nature of the world.

The fact that they got together so quickly and yes rushed, after losing cafe Re and both feeling lonely and taking comfort in each other in 125 I found really emotional.

Touka asking Kaneki “Why are you crying?” was such a sweet gesture when you remember Haise crying when he first saw her in Re, but also how Kaneki felt that he was always beat a lot by the people he loved the most. And yet he was able to fully expose himself and have an extremely intimate moment with the woman that he's in love with, and to find out that she also loves him back and didn't hurt him at all this time.

Additionally was finding out that Kaneki  was “dying” and how quickly they married after finding out about Touka’s pregnancy and her even CHOOSING Kaneki and their child over saving her best friend Yoriko (one of Kaneki's biggest flaws in choosing), for me only reaffirmed how desperate and strong each others feelings were for each other. Touka chose a life with Kaneki, something he wanted his mother to do… Choose him.

It's kinda like... “We lost each other before so many times, let's just confirm everything while we're still alive (The marriage bite mark and ring) because who knows when we'll lose these moments and our time together,” especially at how unforgiving shit can be with most TG relationships (AKA Eto’s parents Ukina and Kuzen, Touka’s parents Arata and Hikari and so forth).

Their love is flawed, rushed and has several problems yes with the time development and communication issues in execution... (I truly wish Ishida gave Touka more screen time and development in most of Re although she has developed and changed from Part 1 in her own way); but they are still growing and learning, nothings ever perfect. In fact even with that time discrepancy and change, its one of those relationships that's so genuine and loyal AF to me. Both can see the dark horror in each other, yet still love each other regardless and show genuine care to go through such lengths to make sure the other is okay in a world where such a thing for ghouls and humans is extremely rare.  Especially during all the fuckery in the previous Underground and Dragon arcs. ALL of the Kaneki personalities agreed to literally kill and eat the Oggai children along with humans and ghouls (becoming a monster) just to see Touka again in fear of her death and hopefully to name his kid one day, repeatedly chanting her name over and over.

Touka played a prominent role and went out to save her husband with the CCG, Hide, hell even the Qs... incurring so much damn physical damage via all the fighting and all the mental/emotional stress concurred spanning days to weeks whilst fucking PREGNANT, starving herself with human food, and weakened as a ghoul.

Again, love is complicated, and it's not exactly “healthy” per say from that point of view… I'd say these two need some damn marriage counseling or some shit😂, but it is MUTUALLY genuine given the fucked up circumstances. (I'm also glad it didn't fall under the common anime/manga trope of “Will they? Won't they? shipping game that stalls for time... Just do it! Especially when TG isn't a romance manga, although it has romantic elements)

Personally for me, Touken represents an overall symbol of coexistence and hope for humans and ghouls (the positive core message of TG, even though yes I know it's not the main focal point outside all the story fuckery as a whole). It illustrates breaking past the species barrier of mutual understanding along with other ships to a degree like Ukina x Kuzen, Nishiki x Kimi etc; and I find it beautiful that Kaneki finally has a tangible reason to LIVE, with his Best Waifu Touka… And now also his Best Bro Hide and everyone else.

I wish I could add more insight, but as you can see... I'm a Touken boy through and through😅