#i wanna cry even tho i wrote this

[sysig]

Handplates and haircut and more Handplates after that (Patreon)

[arlertwhore]

pairing: paige bueckers x fem! reader warning(s): ladies, red warning so yk i'm not playing — NASTYYYYY dirty talk ahead, mating press, lowkey highkey breeding kink, daddy kink, crying, deepness / cervix-play, strap, i think thats it but one more warning for that dirty talk.

synopsis: baby daddy paige in da building! don't even wanna say too much 😅 brave girls read! word count: 695. Author Note: guys i have no recollection of when i wrote this which is what makes it sicker...i can just tell i was in the throes of ovulation & baby fever tho (as i usually am) 😓

“Take it, baby, fuck—”Paige growled, giving your cunt unimpeded deep strokes, the blonde thrusting into you with relentless speed, a proud grin spreading across her sexy, sweat-slicked face as she pounded you into the mattress. "Fuck, ma, look how much she likes that dick, hm?"

"Yeah, shit P, oh! Shit daddy, fuck me like that, fuck-" you whined, your voice breaking as your body trembled with pleasure, hips bucking up to meet each of her piercing strokes, completely overwhelmed by the sensation.

Paige shifted back, hoisting your ankles over her shoulders and folding you deeper into the mattress, her brows furrowed and bottom lip bitten down in intense concentration as she positioned you in the mating press. —She was so close to your drenched pussy—sweaty body flush against yours, nipples coated in your slick sweat pressed together, and she had somehow managed to fit all the length of her strap impossibly within you, buried to fucking hilt. She was screwing you with an intensity that felt like life itself, yet it was as if she was simultaneously killing you.

She was way stronger, way bigger, and had the stamina to keep up at it for multiple rounds: with the determination in her movements and the determined look on her face, you knew there was no chance of her letting you up soon—especially not when you could feel every single inch of the plastic inside your soaked, dripping cunt, and the faint pulse of her vibrator against your g-spot. "Deep, baby, deeep... aw shit," she groaned as she plunged into the depths of your cunt, her movements audible and slick, cock messily slipping in & out of you like a fountain. Your arousal dripped dirtily all over both your thighs, coating both Paige, yourself, and the sheets beneath you. Your toes clenched tightly, a shout escaping you, far too loud for a 3 a.m. night in your condo. She filled you, true to her word, her thrusts deep and unyielding as you clung to her back—perhaps for comfort, even as she was the one ravaging your pussy. Your purple nails raked into her skin—her favorite color—leaving marks as you desperately pulled her closer, your arousal splashing onto her as she pounded into you.

"Ah! AH! Fuck, Paige... please!" you cried out when you felt the tip of her strap hitting a spot—one you never even knew existed, as you had NEVER had anything prodding this deep inside of you before.

"Where you feelin' me, baby? Hm? Show me where I'm at," she whispered against your cheek, her labored breath mingling with the clapping of slick, heated skin.

Your hands shook as you tried to gather the strength to point, but your mind was spinning. When she spat at you, commanding like a dominatrix, "Where?!" you couldn’t help but obey. "Here! Here, right here, Paige!" you moaned, clutching your lower abdomen, feeling the outline of her strap. She released her grip on your legs briefly, guiding your hands to press down against it. Each thrust emphasized the jab and knock in your gut, sending a euphoric mix of pressure and pleasure through your body.

You made a sound—something between a cry and a shout, lost in the overwhelming of pleasure and passion.

"Imma make that pussy cum again, baby, okay?" she purred, her voice low and almost sweet, making your cunt clench desperately around her strap, anticipation building with every rock of her hips into yours. "Okay? Talk to me, baby—wanna cum on my dick? Want me to fuck my cum into you?" she coaxed. You sobbed, a desperate moan escaping from the depths of your loins—you could barely breathe, and she was thrilled, her blue eyes shining with dark satisfaction.

"Y-yeah, I want your kids, P, mhm!"

She grinned deviously, increasing her pace, each thrust filled with purposeful intent. "Yeah? You want daddys kids? Give my baby something to do while I’m away?"

"I want you, yeah," you gasped at her, and she smirked at that. "I’m gonna make sure you feel me even when I’m gone this week, baby." And just like that, you were cumming, back to square one enduring her pleasuring wrath. MASTERLIST

AUTHOR NOTE #2: i can't even yap right now.. how are we doing ladies? post-war thoughts 🤔😔💭 i've been gone for so long missed ya byeee!

[phenikas]

:)

[ln4madness]

guys help i have no idea how this tumblr thing works (i used to write on wattpad ok)

NOT PROOF READ (I’m abt to fall asleep)

————————————————————————————

“LANDO NORRIS WINS THE MIAMI GRAND PRIX!!!”

tears streaming down y/n’s face as she hears these words. there’s not a better feeling in the world than knowing your boyfriend has just won his first ever formula 1 race.

Y/n is still in the garage as everyone is out there celebrating Lando’s win. Not wanting to get squished to death in all those team members.

Eventually Y/n does run out of the garage to celebrate with Lando, if he will even spot her in the swarm of people wearing papaya.

Lando spots Y/n and immediately runs over to her. “I WON!!!” He screams as he hugs Y/n and picks her up, spinning around. “YOU WON BABY!!!” “YOU WON” “MY BABY IS A RACE WINNER! IM SO PROUD OF YOU LAN” Lando let’s Y/n down as he cups her face, wiping the tears off her cheeks. “Don’t cry sweetheart, I WON” he laughs. “These are happy tears lan, don’t worry, the happiest.”

He pulls her in a kiss as his hands move to behind her neck and hers tangled up in his curls.

“so so so proud of you love” Y/n says in between kisses. “couldn’t have done it without you my love” Lando says as he pulls away and looks at her.”

“Okay now go, celebrate with your team, they’re waiting, go go go” she says as she motions for Lando to go celebrate with his team once again.

As Y/n goes back to the garage, an interviewer runs up to her.

“Y/n, hey, how are you feeling?” “Omg I feel so so so good, can’t be prouder of Lando” She says with a huge smile on her face, still stained from all the tears. “Yes we are all extremely proud of Lando, his first f1 win, he’s been working and waiting for this for years. Any idea of how you guys are gonna celebrate this?” The interviewer asks, throwing y/n off a little as she hasn’t even thought about what’s gonna happen after this.”

“Oh god, I haven’t even thought about it, I mean we’ll probably go out like we usually do after a good race. Gonna see how Lando feels, he must be tired after this, but yeah we’ll probably go out with the other drivers, get drunk and just have a good time.”

“Sounds fun, alright, see you later Y/n” The interviewer says as y/n goes back to the garage.

————————————————————————————

The ride back to the hotel is filled with screams of excitement and many many “I’m proud of you”s and “I love you”s

“So, how do you wanna celebrate?” Y/n asks as her and Lando enter the hotel room.

“We HAVE to go out and go crazy at the club” Lando says as he plops down on the bed.

“Aren’t you tired?” Y/n says as she lays down beside him. “I am yeah, but never tired enough to go out.” Lando says as he looks at y/n and kisses her.

“Just wanna lay here with you for now.”

————————————————————————————

alright this is the first thing I’ve wrote in YEARS so it’s pretty shit and English isn’t my first language so there’s that. Hope you liked this tho🧡

[froggibus]

Hi! I really love your writing and the father hcs of genji, reaper, and cassidy really got me thinking…

could we get a breeding fic of one of those three? your pick, ofc. hope you’re doing well btw!!!

- anon 🤍🕷️

Trying for a Baby - Cole Cassidy

Pairing: Cole Cassidy x f! reader (reader uses female pronouns + has a pussy)

Genre: smut/NSFW

Word Count: 1.1k

Summary: Cass wants to try for a baby, and he wants to do it right now

CW: smut, breeding, mentions of pregnancy, impreg?, nipple play, oral, fingering, p in v, unprotected sex (I mean what did you expect lol), creampie, finger sucking, kinda cum play?

so I have NSFW requests for both reaper and genji rn do i decided to go with Cass (even tho I really wanted to do all three). I haven’t wrote a smut request in so long tho so hopefully this isn’t horrible

————

When you and Cassidy decided to have a baby, you didn’t think he meant right now. But sure enough, the cowboy was gripping you under your thighs and whisking you away to the bedroom.

“Cass,” you giggle and slap his shoulder, “I didn’t mean right now.”

“I did,” he shrugs and nips at your neck, facial hair tickling the sensitive skin.

He tosses you onto the bed, cold air brushing your sensitive skin as you tumble to the mattress. You shake your head at him, laughing at his antics. The cowboy joins you on the bed, tugging his shirt off before leaning down to kiss you more.

He tastes like the cheap whiskey he’d been drinking mixed with cigars, and you’re addicted to it. You open your mouth and let him shove his tongue inside, his teeth catching your bottom lip. 

You wrap your legs around his waist and your arms around his shoulders, pulling him as close to you as possible. He pulls away with a gasp, amber eyes staring at you intensely. 

“You’re sure you wanna do this, pumpkin?”

You nod eagerly, your voice coming out breathy and weak, “s-so sure.”

He grins at that, moving his lips away from yours and down to your neck. He sucks and nips at your collarbone while his calloused hands trail up your stomach. 

As soon as his thick fingers make it to your sensitive nipples, you whine and arch your back into him. He slips a hand under the small of your back, forcing you closer to him. 

His warm mouth wraps around one of your sensitive nipples, the sheer heat of it makes you drool. He moves on to the other side, teeth gentle grazing the sensitive skin there. You try to whine and move but his grip is so strong, he effortlessly holds you in place. 

He starts to trail kisses down your stomach, sucking the skin until it’s wet and blowing on it just to laugh at the shivers it elicits. His hand makes it to your panties, fingers caressing your slick through the fabric. He almost laughs at how wet you are. 

“C-Cass,” you throw your head back, arching your hips towards his hand. 

He plants a sloppy kiss to the waistband of your panties, making eye contact with you as he bites the fabric. He winks at you, using his mouth to rip them down to your thighs. 

You shiver as the cold air makes contact with your throbbing heat. You can feel his finger hovering just above his clit, feel his hot breath between your legs. 

It feels like years before he taps your clit with the pad of his finger, rubbing harsh circles. You whine from the friction and the sensitivity, only egging him on more. 

His mouth makes it to where you need him most, lips attaching to your sensitive clit. The pleasure forces the air from your lungs, your hand reaching down to tangle in his hair and tug him closer. You can feel him smile into your pussy. 

He slips a finger inside of you, sliding in easily from how wet you are. It only takes a few thrusts before you’re almost crying and panting, thrusting your hips against his face and trying to fuck yourself on his finger. 

It’s not enough, though. You don’t want his finger, you want him. You want him to fuck you into the mattress, to bottom out with every thrust. You want him to fuck you until he cums and then keep fucking his cum inside of you, you want him to fuck you until his cum takes and he successfully breeds you. 

“Please just fuck me,” you whimper. “Need it so, so bad.”

He pulls away with a grin, amber eyes darkened with lust. “You’re that desperate for me to breed you, hm? Just wanna feel my cum fucked deep into you, is that it?”

You bite your lip and nod eagerly, spreading your legs as far as you can. You want him to know he has complete access to you, complete permission to use you as he pleases. 

He drops his pants in an instant, throwing them and his underwear to the floor. His cock is painfully hard, already dripping precum. You lick your lips at the thought of tasting it. 

He rubs the head of his cock through your folds, the hot slick and saliva that gathered there smearing across his cock. He moans from the feeling. 

“So wet already,” he groans. “So wet from the thought of me cumming inside of you.”

“Stop teasing and just—”

He thrusts into you, cutting you off with a moan. His thick cock pushes its way inside of you, splitting you open around his girth. Despite how wet and ready you are, you never get used to how big he is. 

He lifts your legs onto his shoulders, pulling out and bottoming out once again. Every thrust is punctuated with you moaning in unison. Waves of pleasure travel up your spine with every movement. 

You can feel his big cock inside of you, the tip rubbing against your cervix. The pressure builds more and more, and with every hit of his thick cockhead against your bruising cervix, your eyes are rolling back in your head. 

Cass wipes a trail of drool from your mouth, gathering it on his finger and shoving it past your lips. You don’t even think, you just start sucking on it. 

Just the sight of you all wet and hot for him, sweaty and needy and sucking on his finger, has him close. He picks up the pace, one hand squeezing your hip dangerously tight to keep forcing himself as deep as he can go. 

“G-gonna cum soon,” he breathes, “gonna fucking cum inside of you and give you a baby. You’d like that, hm?”

You can’t even speak, your words failing you. You can vaguely hear yourself babbling about how deep he is, how good he feels, but you’re barely aware of anything around you. A few more thrusts and you’re cumming, cunt clenching around him and muscles spasming. 

His hips start to stutter, his thrusts getting sloppier. He completely bottoms out inside of you, using your hip to hold you flush to him. You can feel hot spurts of cum deep inside of you, rope after rope filling you up. 

He pulls out with a sigh, rolling off of you. “Fuck,” he pants. 

“Fuck,” you agree. 

You can feel his cum starting to drip onto your thigh, but Cass isn’t having it. He collects the excess on his fingers and shoves them back inside of you, plugging the cum inside of you. 

“We’re gonna have a baby,” you laugh weakly. 

He kisses your nose. “Yeah we are.”

[gavisfanta]

could you do one where gavis gf crashed his car and he comforts her?

WORRY LESS - GAVI

summary: gavis girlfriend crashes his car and he comforts her.

warnings: noneeee

"Ay hermano, you wanna come over?" Pedri asked Gavi just as they walked out of the training facilities.

Gavi just opened his mouth as he heard his phone ringing in his pocket. So he immediately looked at the phone screen and saw your name pop up, without even thinking he accepted the call.

"Hey Amor, what's up?" Gavi asked and then heard you crying from the other side. Pedri stood still as he looked at Gavi confused. "Are you okay?"

"I'm so sorry" You sobbed as Gavi nearly got a heartattack while listening to you.

"Y/n where are you?" He tried to remain calm.

"I'm- I'm at the police station." You managed to get out and Gavi's eyes widen. "Near Lobregat." You added.

"I'll be there in a second. I love you." He hung up the phone and then rushed over to Pedri's car.

"You need to drive me to the police station right now." Gavi sat into the car immediately after Pedri unlocked it. The canarian sat behind the wheel and fastened his seatbelt while he looked confused at Gavi.

"What happened?" Pedri asked while speeding a bit to the police station.

"I don't know, she was crying and she said sorry." Gavi sterted to fidget around anxiously with his hands as he managed to stay calm for the next 3 minutes it took them to get there.

"I'll wait for you." Pedri gave the Sevillano a thumbs up while he turned off the car.

Gavi hurried inside and then walked up to the front of the desk. "Hey I'm here to get my girlfriend." He told the woman dressed in a police uniform.

She quickly looked up at him and then started to walk into the hallway. Gavi followed her and as she opened up a door and let him inside a waiting room he saw you sitting on a chair.

Immediately he hurried over to you and as you stood up he pulled you into a hug immediately.

"I'm so sorry." You cried into his black hoodie while he caressed your back with his hands.

"What happened?" Gavi asked before a policeman went over to him.

"You're the rightful owner of the car?" You pulled away from Gavi as soon as the police man asked that.

"Yeah," Gavi answered confused.

"And you're her boyfriend I assume?" The man wrote down everything in a small book meanwhile Gavi just responded with a nod.

"Another car crashed into your car while she was driving. She seems to be okay we got everything checked up and she's completely fine. The damage on your car is mild but the windshiled is completely broken and theres a massive dent on the side of the car that doesn't affect any other parts of the car tho." The policeman explained and Gavi's mouth fell slightly open.

"Are you sure you're okay?" He asked you again and saw that your hands were shaking so he took one of your hands into his.

"I understand, where is the car now?" Gavi started rubbing your hand with his thumb and you sobbed again.

"It's in our garage, she requested for it not be left there sincs you're famous and she's well known." As soon as the police officer said that Gavi wrapped his arm around you and pulled you closer.

"Can we go home now and I'll come back tomorrow, she's still shocked so I want to take care of her at first." Gavi explained to the officer and he nodded his head.

After Gavi signed a couple of papers you two were free to go and when you stepped outside he pulled you into a hug.

"I'm so sorry Gavi." You still cried into his hoodie.

"Trust me that car means nothing to me, I just care about your safety, are you okay do you have a headache? Should we go to the hospital to get you checked out?" Your boyfriend worried about you.

"I feel so bad, that's gonna cost a ton of money to repair." You covered up your mouth with your hand but he shook his head as he cupped your face.

"I don't care about that stupid car, I only care about you. Because I could have 20 of the same car but I only have one Y/n, so I'm just glad that you're okay." Gavis words made your eyes widen and you pulled him into a hug again.

"I love you so much and I'm so sorry." You whispered.

"Amor you were forgiven the second you said sorry for the first time. I'm not mad. I don't care about that. I'm just so glad that you're fine."

[lisannastraussisanangel]

would love to hear ur headcanons for the canon couples (Nalu, Gruvia, Jerza, Gajevy) as first time parents

Fun fact: I actually wrote a fic about them adopting children (well Jerza, Nalu, and Elfever) if anyone is interested in that :)

Nalu

Lucy is literally stressed out the whole time

Natsu is pretty chill but his protectiveness has tripled

Lucy is the strict parent and Natsu is the fun one, but he will back Lucy up when needed

Unfortunately because of his heightened senses, Natsu really struggles with the baby crying. It's way louder for him and even hurts when he's holding the baby (too close to the ears)

Natsu struggles to sleep too. One because of the baby waking him up, but also because he is super protective and wakes up multiple times a night just to check on the baby (Lucy also doesn't sleep through the night but Natsu more so)

Lucy cheats and summons her spirits to help look after the baby. It really helps the new parents get time to rest (and also her spirits love the little baby so its a win win)

While they take turns working, Lucy usually stays home more. She knows Natsu needs to get out all his energy and she has no problem being a stay at home mom (at least for a little bit)

Gruvia

Juvia is literally always crying. Everything the baby does causes Juvia to burst into tears

Gray is in love. He's literally always cooing over the baby

They fight over who has to be the strict parents because both of them wanna be the fun one. Usually Juvia ends up as the strict one

Gray worries so much about the baby that he spends most nights sleeping in the nursery. Juvia keeps a spare blanket and pillow in there now, just so he can be more comfortable

The entire house is covered in toys (and other baby things). It has completely taken over their lives

Neither of them wanna work because they want to spend as much time with their baby as possible (unfortunately they have to so they take turns and only take simple jobs)

Juvia knits cute little onesies for the baby. She makes little dolls too. The dolls match the onesies. Its adorable

Jerza

Erza is super prepared and can literally handle any baby issue (throw up, diaper, teething, etc). She's got everything

Jellal on the other hand is always panicking. The baby hiccups? He's freaking out about if he has to go to the ER

Erza bought so many clothes for the baby. She treats them like a little doll and is always playing dress up

They are both the strict parents. Not terribly but they raise their child to behave (tho both are known to give in to the puppy dog eyes)

Jellal cries a lot. He cried when he found out Erza was pregnant, cried when the baby was born, cried when they brought the baby home, etc (he never thought he'd have a life like this)

For the first couple months after the baby is born, Jellal tries to do as much as possible because he wants Erza to rest (she did do all the hard work for nine months so it's only fair that he steps up after birth)

Somehow their home is always clean and they both always look well rested (well Jellal has permanent eye bags but that's just his normal sleep depravation). No one knows how they are so put together with a newborn

Gajevy

Gajeel is that dad that is always talking about his baby. He's always showing pictures, will turn any conversation into a baby story, and in general cannot go five minutes without talking about his baby

Levy did so much research before the baby was born. She bought literally anything and everything the books recommended

Unfortunately that means when something happens that wasn't in the book, Levy panics

Gajeel also has issues with his heightened senses. Levy takes pity on him when it comes to diaper changes (Gajeel has thrown up from particularly foul ones)

Gajeel tried to do that thing where you make the baby listen to music in the moms stomach, but it was his singing. Levy would come up with every excuse in the book for this not to happen

He does sing to the baby now, but Levy finds it adorable and likes to listen (his voice is more suited for lullaby's)

Levy reads to the baby every night. Her book picks vary from actual kids books to textbooks but the baby doesn't know the difference anyway

[ebsmind]

𝐥𝐨𝐦𝐥 ❀ tom blyth x fem!singer reader

summary : reader and tom break up so she does best and writes a new album

warning(s) : heartbreak 💔

a/n : IM BACK FROM A HIATUS 💃🏻 i know that the tom blyth love has died down but i love doing social media au’s so much so idc 😅

ALSO in this mini series, taylor swift never wrote TTPD! the read did but im changing a couple things up! like this takes place in december of 2024 and instead of the album being called “the tortured poets department” it’s called loml! you’ll see how it plays out but i just hope everything makes sense!

ynuser i love you, it’s ruining my life

view comments

user1 girl are you OKAY???

user2 oh no that’s not good

user3 so the breakup is confirmed?

user4 tom what did you do…

user5 the end?? GIRL WHATS HAPPENING

user6 NEW ALBUM NEW ALBUM NEW ALBUM

↳ user7 now is NOT the time to clown 😭😭

celebupdates looks like our favorite couple has called it quits after almost two years of dating! what are your thoughts?

view comments

user1 no no no

user2 this next album is gonna HIT

user3 poor y/n :( i knew she loved him a lot

user4 he’s been seen with a girl in new york and it’s NOT looking good

user5 rachel imma need you to talk some sense into tom bc WHAT THE FUCK

user6 i thought they were endgame 💔

ynuser i can do it with a broken heart out on january 3rd

view comments

rachelzegler lights camera bitch smile!

❤️ by creator

user1 oh she’s HEARTBROKEN

user2 isn’t that one of her tour outfits??

↳ user3 omg it totally is

user4 this is so about how they broke up while she was on tour

user5 someone give this poor girl a hug

user6 “even when you wanna die” GIRL WHAT DID HE DO TO YOU???

user7 she’s gonna announce an album on his birthday there’s no way

ynuser my new album loml comes out on february 2nd 🖤

view comments

rachelzegler i watched you put ur blood, sweat and tears into this album 🖤 so proud of you my little poet

↳ ynuser crying. i love you.

user1 there’s no way it’s love of my life…

user2 IT WAS UNNECESSARY????

taylorswift proud of you! you deserve so much love my sweet girl 🖤🪶✨

↳ ynuser ily momma 🫶

user3 she’s about to end tom i fear

user4 releasing this on his birthday is CRAZY

user5 it’s a smart marketing move tho

user6 i bet tom’s new girl is PISSED

user7 I WAS SO RIGHT OMG

sabrinacarpenter 🫂

tomblyth what the monkey on the wall said ❤️

view comments

user1 men ain’t shit

user2 so this the girl you left y/n for?

user3 he cheated on her there’s no way

↳ user4 she def knew about y/n too

user5 rachel hasn’t said a thing about tom im worried he fucked up real bad

user6 he loves her??? poor y/n

ynuser oh

user7 Y/N??!?

*post has been deleted

[sucuretcannelle]

hi! i briefly remember you saying that you're into if's, so i was wondering what your favorites are

Sighs and shakes a red cup full of ice

Nobody thinks I'm a nerd till they hear the way I talk about interactive fiction...no one knows...

Anyway I started playing IF's in like December. Time flies

This is kind of in order? Of like enjoyment. HOWEVER take this with a grain of salt because I was sitting here trying to rearrange them (except the top 3) for 40 minutes. If it was mentioned, it's good 🙂‍↕️

1. The six that thrive by @the-six-that-thrive-if —

the way I was playing this bro. I wouldn't let myself sleep until I was done with the demo and not because it felt like I had to, but I knew I would be PISSED if I went to bed without absorbing all the content (Dante give me a chance PLEASE 🙏🙏🙏). Anyway the hierarchy system reminds me of the one that I have for the way I wrote hell and I was like 🫵 OMG THATS SO COOL.

Key factor that I appreciate: Dialogue, descriptions, and transitions. Dante is deadass so funny I'm not even playing bro. Buddy how do you write like that, lmk. Also the official art has me gnawing at the bars of my enclosure

2. College Tennis: Origin Story by @collegetennisoriginstory — I ACTUALLY HAVE A FUCKING PROBLEM BRO. LOOK. IN MY HEAD, I WAS IGNORING THAT THEY WERE PLAYING TENNIS SO I WAS VISUALIZING VOLLEYBALL. SO AT SOME POINT I READ THE WORD RACKET AND I WAS LIKE WHAT ARE WE PLAYING???

Key factor that I appreciate: Skill checks, attention to side characters, amazing use of character tropes. Idk how to describe it but the writing felt so CLEAN. Like so organized and orderly. Plus I wanna study all of the characters under a microscope

3. Superstition (omg first IF I ever played) by @13leaguestories — I played this while I was sick and that's literally all I did for 2 days besides eating and sleeping. Am I okay? Yeah cuz it happened in December but like I was OBSESSED. And ashamed. My friend told me i would be into Zillah and she was right. I haven't recovered. I promise I'm in therapy.

Key factor that I appreciate: The fact that there was always something going on. Literally at least 3 things were happening at the same time, all the time, and it kept my lil depressed ass stimulated. Who could ask for more

4. Infamous by @infamous-if — this game makes me scared of commitment cuz I can't have Orion and Griffin😐 I might be biased because. I sing! So I was just really connected to this story immediately. Either way, one of my favs cuz the writing is saurrrr good, makes ya feel

Key factor that I appreciate — Infamous is generally well rounded, so I don't feel like it's LACKING in anything. Me gusta.

5. Mind blind by @mindblindbard — I have a problem so I'm a stereotypical Rosie fan. But anyway I personally loved this one because of the world building, even tho I'm a character-focused girlie. Plus the game is so funny for no reason

Key factor that I appreciate— I actually really like the MC in general. Which is funny to say, because they're supposed to be you, but MC's are different from game to game, and I like this one

6. Soulmates Inc by @soulmatesinc-if — idk with some games, it's just the vibe. Like the vibe is right so I'll read it (which like...it's hard for me to find games where the vibe is what drags me along. Tis really good)

Key factor I appreciate — Wyatt. omg who said that...I also love this game's take on soulmates. It's simple, but original, and I fw it

7. Nine Blood Dances by @nineblooddances-if— I'm boutta cry, how did you end up here twice without me noticing bro. Idk this one and TSTT have like, vibes that are connected by a small string, and I did play this one first if that matters.

Key factor that I enjoyed: It felt very structured, and again, clean. I really don't know what this feeling is

8. When Twilight Strikes by @evertidings — I love ALL the characters because damn near all of them pissed me off once. That's actually impressive /pos. Anyway Rylan hit my line

Key factor that I enjoyed: watching my relationship descriptions change. Some left me devastated stop... Like sorry A you're driving me nuts...

Honorable mentions:

Apartment 502 by @apt502-if — I can't wait to see the future parts cuz like I like it but I cant analyze any of the characters yet. But trust me I'm ready 📝

The Kings Hound by @the-kingshound — Same typa situation was Apartment 502... I'm waiting...patiently 📝

[claritys-silly-things]

It’s that time again yall

Headcanons! It’s a long one this time

Emetophobia tw

- (I think I can classify this as modern) Rip sodapop curtis you would’ve loved saying “I’m just a girl 🎀”

- Soda never liked haircuts. When he was a small feral child his long hair would get tangled a lot, but he’s tender headed as FUCK so he would scream and cry when his momma brought the brush out. Darry put sodas hair into braids sometimes just for fun and soda didn’t mind bc it kept his hair from getting tangled, and then it didn’t hurt to brush. He’s always had really soft hair and it grows super fast.

- Jealous little soda asksjks (this was about soda being jealous over pony getting attention as a baby but I don’t wanna edit the original ramble I wrote down)

- When ponyboy was born he just kind of STARED. No crying or anything just 👁️👁️. Even Darry cried when he was born. Soda cried a lot.

- Adding on, Darry and pony were pretty quiet babies. They still cried for food and stuff sometimes but not a lot. Soda was a LOUDDD crier, and a frequent one too. It was the type of crying that sounds like it hurts the baby’s throat cause they’re shrieking their head off. Also soda would cry for, like, the first year of his life if he was ever handed to his dad.

- If Johnny survived the fire and got a wheelchair, he’d be running over people’s feet. Constantly. Just because. Or bc they asked for it. Either way, the moment he gets a hang of that wheelchair it is OVER for yall. And probably before that too.

- Ponyboy gets the same. Goddamn. Thing. At EVERY restaurant. Partly because it scares him to order anything else, partly because he’s picky asf. He makes sure it’s there on the menu and has his order memorized by now. “Chicken tenders, fries, and a Pepsi please.” He’s tried to ask for other things in the past like eggs, cuz he likes those, but the moment they asked him “how would you like them done” he just stared at Darry because he didn’t know what all the different types of eggs were, and now he’s scared bc he’s taking longer, and the server is still there, so he just got sunny side up eggs and they were slimy and he wanted to go home and cry (based on a true story sadly)

- Basically pony has anxiety and probably autism (so me)

- Ponyboy likes avocado. That’s it that’s the headcanon. It’s like one of the only healthy-ish things he’ll eat.

- Soda gets suuuper nauseous really easily, and pony gets carsick on occasion. So the first time pony went to a theme park, his family was scared that he would throw up like soda. They go on a ride and he’s like “yall im fine dawg.” Soda is jealous bc pony can go on rides unaffected (soda will still go on rides anyways, he just throws up afterwards)

- Pony is the most PALE ASS BITCH you’ve ever seen. He burns soo easily. His face gets red really quickly, no matter what’s going on. The only time he gets the slightest bit darker is when he burns and tans. Two-bit has been like “you ain’t white you translucent” multiple times because in the right lighting you can see pony’s veins. It’s even worse because soda and Darry tan so wonderfully, and pony looks like he had an allergic reaction if he doesn’t reapply his sunscreen when he’s supposed to. I feel like Mrs Curtis is the reason for this, she didn’t tan. Mr Curtis did tho.

- Pony has mild (severe) ocd

- Marcia’s last name is smith she is white-Hispanic on one side and Native American on the other thank you for coming to my TED talk

- Marcia is Cuban and Native American

- Marcia’s full name is Marcia smith that’s it that’s the end

It’s funny cuz I listed these things like three times and just forgot about the other two

- Twobit is Brazilian end headcanon

- Mr Curtis had autism and Mrs Curtis had inattentive adhd

- Mr Curtis was half Mexican on his mom’s side and half Irish on his dad’s side. Mrs Curtis was full Italian-American.

- Darrys the typa guy to make pony and soda turn off a show or movie if it talks about possession or like demonic stuff/soul stealing stuff

- (Modern au) Darry will get a text from ponyboy about something, like “can I go in your room rq” and he sees it but doesn’t actually open the text message until later and like, two hours later he’ll just respond “no” and thinks it’s the funniest shit ever

[skzpvol]

. . . ⇢ ˗ˏˋ THE BRIGHTEST STAR - bang chan ࿐ྂ

pairing: nonidol!bang chan x gn!reader

genre: angst, no comfort (i warned you)

warning: mentions of suicide, cursing, the entire drabble is full of hurt

words: 0.8k

synopsis: Chan visits you again. What will you say to you this time?

a/n (1): this drabble is triggering, so please if you are sensitive to the warnings DO NOT read. Your health is my priority and remember that you are not alone, you will never be. If you need someone to talk to, I’m here. English is not my first language, so tell me if I made some mistakes.

«hi my love, i’ve missed you. Do you remember what day is it? It’s our anniversary and I really can’t believe that we’ve come this far. The younger me would be so proud to hear I’ve been with the love of my life for six years now. And I would do anything to spend this special day with you. Actually I don’t really want to celebrate. It would be useless if I’m alone. 

«I bought your favorite flowers today. Hope you will appreciate them. Do you remember the first time I bought you flowers? They were roses and you were so scared to tell me you were allergic. I felt guilty but when I saw you laughing I thought it was all worthy. Even tho I tried to kill you, hearing and seeing your laugh for the first time was like being transported to heaven. I immediately felt lighter and happier. You’ve always made me the happiest. It’s a shame that happiness is gone now. But it’s not your fault, if anything it’s mine. 

«the boys miss you too. You know, one week ago we met all together for the first time after the accident and I tried, I tried so hard to distract myself. I did everything I could, they did everything, but it was all pointless. I told them I was fine, that I felt like I was already moving on, but they were all lies. I can’t help it. I don’t want them to be worried. They’ve already suffered enough and I don’t to be another burden. 

«I wrote you a song. Yes, another one. It seems like you are still my biggest inspiration. I really want to sing it to you, but it’s not finished yet. You need to wait just a little more. I promise you, the next time I’ll come with the lyrics. Just wait for me. 

«why y/n? Why did you do this to me? Was I not enough? Did you feel like you couldn’t trust me? Why? Why did you not search for help? I would have been there. I would have listened to each of your worries. I would have stayed with you. I would have told you that everything was going to be okay, that you were not alone. So why did you never told me how you were really feeling? Fuck- why? I know that it’s anyone fault, but I feel like I’m the only culprit. I know that i should not be mad at you, but I am. I’m madly angry. I wanna scream, cry and at the same time let everything go. But you will still not come back to me. So why should I try anyway?

«I’ve always seen suicide like a way to die for cowards. I’ve always thought that people who chose it were selfish. But who am I to think about it like that now, if I wasn’t even capable of helping you? I’m the real selfish because in 6 fucking years I wasn’t be able to look into you, to look through you. You were suffering and I didn’t do anything. I tried to blame you when you told me you needed me, so who am I to fucking say you are the selfish one? I’m a mess. I’m a disaster. 

«the last time I saw you, you were happier. I remember that I even asked you why. You just told me “today is a beautiful day” and before I left you said “I love you, always will��� for the last time. If I only knew. I read somewhere that a star burns brightest in its final moments and I get it now. Every time I look at the sky I always wonder if you are finally happy. When I look at the glowing stars I always think it’s your way to tell me that you are there. You are there and you are okay. You are protecting me. 

«I cry. A lot. Even now, I can’t stop crying. The guilt it’s really hard to bear. I can’t even look in the mirror without feeling disgust towards myself. And you would probably be disappointed too if you saw me like this. You want me to be happy, but I can’t. Not without you. And I’m sorry. I’m sorry that I didn’t look out for you when you needed me the most. I’m sorry that I wasn’t there when I was supposed to. I’m sorry that i was the worst boyfriend you could ever ask for. I’m sorry. Please forgive me. 

«will I ever be able to see you again? I really hope so. But I’ll make sure to look at the sky every single night and look out for the brightest star. Because you are there, aren’t you? 

«please wait for me, I still have to sing you a song. You will be proud of me, I promise.

a/n (2): hiii, how are you? I’m finally on school break! Sorry if I’m being inactive BUT, apart from school that is really stressing me out, I’m working on a bunch of things (a long ass fic and a smau :)) ). I probably already said this, BUT I’M GOING TO SEE MY STRAY KIDS IN JULY AFTER TWO YEARS, AND I’M THE HAPPIEST. I cannot really wait. Btw, thank you for reading and i hope you enjoyed it. I also ask you to like it and tell me your opinion about this to help me to improve. Have a good day / night 🫶🏻

[angelic-jeonghan1004]

Hi! I really wanna request something for andteam!

andteam during a fight?

If so I would appreciate you accepting my request!

Hiiii anon 💞 ofc you can!! I hope you enjoy 🥰 I’m going to write this in sections but struggle with motivation so pls come into my inbox to let me know if you’d want maknae line! sorry I’m a lil rusty it’s been a while since I wrote anything💔

K:

I view him as one of the least level headed, so in an argument I think he’d be a bit hurtful in what he says

even tho he’ll want to keep his cool he won’t be able to stop himself from making passive aggressive or backhanded comments

If he said something super mean I don’t think he’d be ready to double down out of stubbornness

unless you actively started crying or showing signs of going to leave

then he’d immediately regret everything

Cue word jumble of apologies and he’ll want to reach out to you and hold ur hand if you allow him but will understand if you don’t.

Would most likely exit the room to cool down so he doesn’t say anything else he regrets

Would come back in about an hour to try and figure the problem out with a better mindset and apologize again right off the bat

Would hold you very tight that night

Fuma:

Unlike K he is VERY level headed and would be very articulate with his wording

Hates when you are the cause of his stress and especially hates being the cause of yours as he wants to always be your protector and who you go to instead of be what you have to go to others about

Arguments with him are not regular and when they do happen he tries very hard to under your point of view and apologizes if it’s from something he did that made you upset

If you made him upset he’d be quick to communicate what didn’t sit right with him

He’d be the least likely to say rude comments to you since he doesn’t like putting you down in anyway

Euijoo:

He is a sweet guy with a tender heart he doesn’t like arguing

But when you guys do argue he’s very gentle and particular about his words but May sigh and sometimes his tone may sound condescending

If your argument gets heated he will be quick to put the argument on pause and have you guys chill in separate areas to think since the last thing he’s letting you guys do is say stuff just to be petty or hurtful to the other person

Let’s say you go into ur shared bedroom and he stays in the kitchen he will grab a glass of water and then go up to your room and ask to start the conversation up again

He’d give you the water and take a few deep breaths first before continuing and turning it from a fight to a conversation

Nicholas:

He is hot headed

He will not be thinking about your emotions exactly if you step on his toes he may genuinely get mean

He will only back down when you cry or if ur voice starts to break like K

Then he will probably either leave the house or go into a dif room to reevaluate what just happened

When he comes back he’ll apologize and itd be genuine but sound a little awkward

Will ask if you’ll let him talk to you about the situation again and he hopes you will do you guys can get it over with and since he’s had enough time to think of genuine responses and not condescending ones but understand if ur not wanting to

will let you sleep on the matter but will ask if you can sleep in the same bed

He just needs to hold you to know you’re not leaving

[mariaace]

HIIIII MARIAAA How are you??? If you're not busy or nothin or whenever you get around to it ofc, you should do the one of the Instagram thingies for Fyodor, Nikolai, of r Sigma if you haven't ^^ they're super cute and creative!! 💖 if you have or don't wanna feel free to ignore lol

Hellooooo I'm good?? Very stressed, but good hbu?? And yes ofc I'll do them and I'll tag you in the other two. This one is for Fyodor (your man) i hope you enjoy it<33

Fyodor Insta Series

Liked by Dostoevsky, Koliaa_ and 76.5K others.

Caption:Fedya... I'm lost

Comments:

Dostoevsky:Again, my darling?

↪Koliaa_:AGAIN?? HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU GOT LOST PHHDKD

↪the.one_and_only:You are literally lost every time we're somewhere without using your portals🖐🏻

↪Koliaa_:HEY! NOT TRUE

↪Dostoyevsky:It is true tho.

↪Koliaa_:FEDYA!!

Casino_owner: Where even is that?

↪the.one_and_only:I literally wrote I'm lost how tf am i supposed to know?

↪Casino_owner: Not what i meant🤨

↪Dostoyevsky: Why would you know anyway?

↪Casino_owner: It looks pretty

↪Koliaa_:Yeah not like you.

↪Casino_owner: I sighed so loud.

↪Dostoyevsky: Yeah i heard that.

↪Casino_owner: WHAT??

Liked by Koliaa_, Casino_owner and 63.5k others.

Caption: LOOK HOW PRETTY!!

Comments:

Koliaa_: And they say romance is dead🖐🏻

↪Casino_owner: It looks pretty dead to me

↪the.one_and_only: haha very funny. I hope you become pretty dead

↪Dostoyevsky: Say what now darling? Give me a few minutes.

↪Casino_owner: NONOONONONOO WAIT WAIT

Nakahara.Chuu: We are the roses from?

↪Dostoyevsky: I can show you where if you want

↪Suicide_miniac: Was that a threat??

↪Dostoyevsky: No?

↪Suicide_miniac: OH SO YOU THREATENED ME, BUT NOT HIM??

↪Dostoyevsky: I respect him more than you, yes.

Liked by Casino_owner, Koliaa_ and 84.9k others.

Caption: I love candles.

Comments:

Koliaa_: More than me?😣

↪the.one_and_only: I do not even love you??

↪Suicide_miniac: HA!!

↪Nakahara.Chuu: Nobody loves you either

↪Casino_owner: What is happening in these comments?

Ginn_Aku: Your page is so aesthetic i love it.

↪the.one_and_only:Thank you so much<33

↪Akutagawa.: You're friends with them??

↪Ginn_Aku: Yeah!!

↪Akutagawa.: How come I didn't know??

↪Suicide_miniac: You don't know a lot of things

↪the.one_and_only: Can you already kill yourself? It's taking you quite the time

Liked by Dostoyevsky, Koliaa_ and 104k others.

Caption: It sounds as beautiful as him.

Comments:

Suicide_miniac: So he can't play properly?

↪the.one_and_only: I'm coming to hunt you down.

↪Nakahara_Chuu: I'll help.

↪Suicide_miniac: CHUUYA????!!!?!?

↪the.one_and_only: Accept it. He has better standards tha whatever you are.

↪Koliaa_:PFAAA PAHAKAJAJEHFBK

Koliaa_: I also wanna hear😣

↪the.one_and_only: No.

↪Casino_owner:You a hater or something?

↪Dostoyevsky: And you are a toddler or something?

↪Casino_owner:...

↪Suicide_miniac: KDBDMDKDHHDKEJ

Liked by Dostoyevsky, Suicide_miniac and 57.8k others.

Caption: Once i become a little witch, it's over for y'all

Comments:

Ginn_Aku: I wanna read it too!

↪the.one_and_only: I'll give it to you after

↪Koliaa_: Yeah, cuz they're reading with Fedya right now🙄

↪the.one_and_only: Cry about it

↪Koliaa_:😭😭

Suicide_miniac: It looks interesting

↪Dostoyevsky: Why are you always in my partner's comments?

↪Nakahara.Chuu: Yeah btw??

↪Suicide_miniac:🤷🏻 It's fun here

↪Casino_manager: He doesn't have what to do

↪Suicide_miniac: Who's saying it

Well i hope you like it<33

@luvfy0dor-main @dazailoveschuuya @transmascaraa

© mariaace 2024 pls do not copy, translate, steal or claim any of my works!

[vintageaustin]

goodbye kiss

austin butler x reader.

summeray: the reader and austin meet again, and spend one night together

warnings: angst cussing alchol depresion pregnancy cheating mention of sex not acteul sex tho

authors note: i personally really love this and i hope you guys do as well, enjoy kids, there are so many songs combined into this song let me know if you can find them!!

Massive thanks to @austinbutlerslovers and @elvismylove04 for the help🩷

It was Friday night, and like usually, you felt alone. You didn´t mind feeling alone, but... there was something about being so lonely that you didn´t even notice you were crying till now. The road was long, sure, and you tried to have fun in the meantime.

So even though it was a whopping 57 degrees in Vegas, you decided to go out and maybe look for someone who was just as damaged as you are. You liked taking a walk on the wild side. It made you feel alive, and feeling alive was better than feeling nothing at all.

Your heart broke with every step you took. You had never really been in love, you thought as you wandered the streets of Las Vegas, except for that one boy. You were hoping that at the gates they´d tell you that he was yours. He was born in August. You just met him too soon.

As you got lost in your thoughts, you bumped into someone. I'm so sorry I wasn't paying attention to where I was walking, you said softly. The stranger chuckled, and you, on the other hand, still hadn´t looked up. "It´s okay." He laughed gently. That voice that laugh, you recognized it. 

"A-austin, you whispered as you looked up. There he was standing in front of you, but something was different; it was like the light faded from his eyes. He wasn´t doing okay, and well, neither were you."W-what are you doing here? You stuttered, and he smiled softly looking.

Down at you, ¨I was looking for you" he whispered.

You looked at him a bit, taken aback. "For me?" you asked, kind of confused. To be fair, you and Austin broke up a while ago. Though you never stopped loving one another, you never really talked again after you broke up. "You're dad, he, uh, he called me." You looked at Austin and turned around, walking away.

"You´re dad!?" The little voice in your head was screaming. You hadn´t talked to your parents in ages, and now they send your ex-boyfriend over to check up on you??. How sick is that!? Your thoughts got interrupted as Austin called you multiple times, "Angel!? Wait up, cmon, let me explain!" he said. And you shook your head. "I don't wanna hear it aus, you either don´t mention them and we have a fun night and forget about this tomorrow, or I leave," you said, kind of cold and huffed. 

Looking at those striking blue eyes, Austin chuckled and nodded. "Wanna get drunk in my hotel room then?" You smiled softly and nodded as he grabbed your hand and started running down the street to the corner store. The two of you got a cheap bottle of vodka and whiskey. Then make your way back to his hotel room.

And you couldn´t help but think maybe the two of you lived in silence for too long. You were broken, and he ran allong like he was supposed to, and maybe the days the two of you had were gone, rock and roll sent the two of you insane back then... You couldn't help but wonder if it would do that again.

You got snapped out of your thoughts as Austin spoke up. "Do you want a drink?" he asked as he took a hold of your waist gently. You nodded and smiled. I'd love to" hear you whisper as Austin leaned closer and smiled. "I got you," he chuckled, kissing your cheek. He went over to the mini bar and poured the both of you a shot. As you got half way through the first bottle,.

You and Austin were talking about your lives now and reminiscing about the good old days. Those 20 minutes felt like forever, but you learned a lot about him. You learned he had a girlfriend, yet he remembered the day he wrote "mine" on your upper thigh so well.

This night was doomed from the start; you shouldn´t be here; he was taken, and this was wrong; no words could save this; he was drunk, and you were pissed. You sighed softly and got up. You walked over to the door and leaned against it. "I should go." You said soft enough that he could tell that you were hurt. As you looked up, he was walking over to you. "Angel," he said barely in a whisper as he looked into your soul with those striking blue eyes.

He made you look up at him as he took a hold of your chin. "Don't leave," he said barely in a whisper. "I just got my angel back,” he mumbled as his eyes fell down on your lips, and he started leaning in closer and closer until you felt his soft lips on yours. The kiss was rough but sweet. Was this your goodbye kiss? You thought to yourself.

One night, after that, you go your way, and I´ll go my way, you said, and Austin nodded and picked you up. Kissing you again, he laid you down on the bed. He was so gentle with you, and the both of you were so drunk. You knew it was wrong, and so did he, but you loved him, and he loved you.

So one thing led to another, and you woke up in Austin in his arms the next morning. You looked around and sighed softly. "Shit" you muttered and looked over at Austin, who was sleeping peacefully. You got up carefully and took a quick shower before getting your clothes back on. 

You wrote him one last note before you grabbed your stuff and left his hotel. "I hope someday we´ll meet again—forever, your angel." that´s what she wrote.

He tried calling you; he tried finding your apartment, but there was no luck.

You knew one day you'd meet again because, a month after you slept together, you found out you were pregnant.

[wlntrsldler]

ugh imagine all the hate five star would get from poisoned mercury fans when their relationship is revealed 😔 how do you think five star and luke would respond to it

oh it would definitely be bad. i think especially after their second album drops and they become even more mainstream, the hate train will come in full force :(((

some stans are wild (i shudder when i remember my days on stan twt, 5sos and 1d specifically) and would probably dig out ALL the dirt about five star. they’d find the diss tracks her ex wrote about her and use it against her.

i think five star would try not to let it get to her and she’ll try to justify it by saying things like “well i signed up for this dating someone like luke” but luke would not be okay with it!!!!!!

how dare the people who called themselves fans of the band be so okay with hurting the people in their life???? but five star doesn’t wanna make the fire bigger so she asks him to drop it (and he does to an extent)

luke is FUMING tho when five star starts asking him to not post her on his socials because he finds out that people nitpick how she looked (luke thought she looked perfect so he never saw an issue). at first, he thought five star was pulling away from him and was starting to think that a relationship with him wasn’t worth all the trouble (his biggest fear) but she’s quick to shut that down.

he just wants to show off his girl :(((( especially when unc wins the ncaa championship in filed hockey because his girl is a champ!!!!!!!!! so he kinda breaks his silence and tells everyone to cut it out because he can’t stand to see his girl feeling like she didnt the deserve all the love in the world.

five star would end up crying and telling him that she really appreciated him standing up for her (even if she was against it at first) and luke would reassure her that he would crawl to the ends of the world for her (he’s a simp like that!)

the hate will always be there, but luke spams her instagram comments with ridiculous compliments (“i just barked so loud my landlord tried to fine me for having an unregistered pet” “gnawing at the bars of my enclosure” “PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE” “hand in marriage ?”) so his words are at the top of your posts and the hate comments are pushed to the bottom :)))

[astolfofo]

bruh i wrote this on a whim. but it needs to be said.

tw: manipulation, yandere. Nothing too much. It’s pretty mild, but it’s dazai so idk what to say. 

bruh if this flops im gonna actually cry tho. I actually used my brain to write this. even tho I used causual language and this ain’t that formal ughsdfhlkdsj. but also sorry if it’s really bad. I didn’t even proofread this I just copy and pasted it into tumblr. Also, if the ending’s kinda messy or if there’s like grammar mistakes... pls tell me I literally am so braindead rn i can’t read

would also tag people this was inspired by but this is actually half shitpost and that would be hella rude of me to do that so. lmfao. (translate: i don’t have the balls)

===

I see so many people thinking that Dazai would fall for someone cheerful, and bubbly, who would approach him first.

Honestly, I disagree.

I think the opposite. Maybe it’s because I see part of myself in Dazai (and Yozo from the No Longer Human), or maybe because it’s simply because I’m not a bubbly, happy, person in general (but i wanna be with him jkjk unless… ) but. I personally disagree with that headcannon, I don’t really see it happening. Obviously, there are cases of characters liking an innocent, sweet, bubbly darling (cough. Nikolai. Chuuya. Akutagawa. Atsushi.) But, for Dazai… I feel like that would be too boring for him. Not as in he wouldn’t like it that way… but it would be too easy for him, ya know? Like there’s no challenge, there’s no… interest in doing that. Why would Dazai want someone so open, so innocent, so bubbly and kind, who would listen to anything he said? That’s not even genuine, that’s fake. Everyone has their own secrets, their lies, and they create a fake mask for everyone else to see. They wouldn’t want to show their true self… because it’d make them not only look bad… but also we’d all be extremely vulnerable. And violent.

Dazai knows this better than anyone else. I’d like to think, anyways. And innocent people like that, whether genuine or not, usually would deter him because they’re… too easy to pursue. Despite being a good liar himself, I don’t think he’d want someone who would fake the niceness, because it would be obvious from the start. Dazai doesn’t strike me as someone who would enjoy breaking his darling down (that’s Fyodor’s thing bro would definitely like someone who is fake). He has some morality, he doesn’t like using mind break. After all, that goes against what Oda told him to do. However, he’d definitely enjoy mind games, he’d like to pick you apart to get to know you better. Better than you know yourself. And once he does, he can leverage you however he likes to be his ideal woman. Even that manga q and a (I’lll find the link later) said that Dazai likes all women because he can make them into what he wants. Someone who’s outright innocent and kind wouldn’t be able to achieve that effect for him. It doesn’t offer him the challenge, it doesn’t offer him any kind of challenge in just manipulating someone innocent who barely hides anything. That would be a bad thing, and even his skwered sense of whatever morals he has would disagree with it. He wouldn’t even be able to fall for someone like that. Simple-minded people, just aren’t for him.

So, in prose, I’d like to offer an alternate idea: Dazai would like a darling that’s, obviously to a similar intelligence as him (otherwise they’d be… too easy), but very distant. Not as in a “they have a mask on”, kind of way. But in a. They’re apathetic, cold, and aren’t great at communicating kind of way. I think it’s an interesting dynamic. The first time when Dazai sees them, he may not even think much of them. Neutral cold face doesn’t say many sentences and wants him to leave. Maybe a slight fear of him, that he approached them. However, as time passes by, Dazai realizes he likes them. He genuinely craves their presence. He notices the way you don’t exactly know what his motives are, he enjoys the way you flinch when he touches your hands, or blush and do not know how to respond to his comments.

He sees all of it. And he wants to see who you really are. Behind your true mask. Maybe you’re a narcissist. Maybe you’re just a kind innocent person. Or maybe… you’re just as empty and lonely as he is. Whatever you are, he’ll eventually turn you into what he wants. It’s just a matter of time.

It’s like he’s looking at a Christmas present, and trying to guess the contents inside. The curiosity kills him. He wants to look at what it is now, but he can’t. He can’t. Until it’s Christmas day. So in the meantime, he’ll do everything except pull down the thin wrapping paper, and the apathetic, cold face you put on for everyone around you. It’s rather difficult actually, you do a pretty good job at covering your true self. You’re a skilled liar, you can control any physical reactions you have towards his questions.

But that just makes it all the more addictive.

The second you slip up, even just for a tiny. Little. Bit. Dazai is able to pinpoint a lot about you. It’s almost like he tore off a corner of the wrapping paper on his present, and he’s knows a lot about what it is. It’s more than he expected. It was just one facial expression. A face of shock, to anger, and then you calm yourself to the best of your abilities again. It’s barely noticeable to the average person. But that’s the thing. Dazai isn’t average. 

He’s the smartest man you’ll ever know.

It makes you feel conflicted. And you’re aware this is probably where Dazai wants you to be. And it is. Dazai finally was able to make a dent on the thin walls inside your mind. The walls that separated your true self, from others. And he’d pick and tear down these walls continuously until he was able to see inside.

But for Dazai... it’s his Christmas day. Dazai felt like his efforts... his waiting, his long awaited efforts were finally rewarded. All it took was one little slip on your behalf, one tiny little tear, for the wrapping paper to completely fall off. And as it lays discarded on the floor, Dazai admires the gift. He admires you. Your mind is such a vulnerable place. Yet in its own way, it’s beautiful and fragile. He feels like he physically cannot tarnish it. Yet... you’re so much more different than he thought. 

You’re niether a kind person, nor a violent one. You’re not broken, you’re not depressed nor anxious nor scared. You’re not nearly what he idealizes so much, and you’re not some insane slave to your ideals. No... what was inside that box and wrapping paper all this time was similar to a piece of piece of glass. Plainly boring in its own way... yet beautiful if shaped in the right hands. 

You’re a blank slate. Sure, you have your own trauma, your own struggles, desires, and wishes but... he’ll still do as he wants to you. 

And you won’t have a single say in it. 

You’re a blank slate. A canvas waiting to be drawn on. And draw on you he will. 

He’ll admire you, he’ll protect you, he’ll... do anything and everything to make you love him. You’ll.... you’ll learn to love him.

And in return, you’ll be the only one who will see and understand his true self.