#Darrel Curtis sr

[dallasgallant]

Aunt Clara had for years labored under the delusion that I was not only perpetually 4 years old, but also a girl

As soon as I was reminded of this movie I just had to put Pony in the bunny pajamas lol. His dad lets him go take it off after his mom gets a photo.

Unseen is Darry and Soda collapsed on the floor and laughter. Pony never lived the Christmas of 1960 (or 62 depending on timeline) down. Ever. But they never told the guys, it was their personal thing to torment him with lol.

[curtis-brothers-hug]

Ponyboy: “my older brothers always took whatever they wanted. Like when we were gettin’ in the car, I knew where I was gonna end up sittin’, so I’d pretend like I wanted that. ‘Backseat! In the middle! My feet on the hump! I called it!’ I think my mom was kinda worried about me. ‘He’s calling the hump, Darrel. He shouldn’t want the hump.’ ‘As long as they ain’t fightin’, hump’s good, right Ponyboy?’ ‘Uh huh, right Dad!’”

[yourmusicmuse]

Okay so I found this picture of Pinterest and highkey. It has me CRYING. And let me tell you why!!!

Both Soda and Darry are compared to their dad in the book, and while I can't really recall at the moment if any of them were compared to their mother, I'm gonna go at the personal headcanon that Ponyboy was compared to her quite a lol in a similar way to Soda and Darry being compared to their dad. But see here- their mom is blonde. Soda in the book is blond, but I feel like it's an entirely different ballgame when Ponyboy bleaches his hair. When Darry and Soda reunite with him and after the pure joy and relief that he was alive...I just imagine a sense of unease. Seeing him with the blond hair- the comparisons to their mother hadn't completely clicked until then. It makes them feel...a lot of things. But above all, there is a harsh mixture of grief and love. For both their mother and Ponyboy.

[made-my-peace-with-all-the-bad]

I’m thinking about little Darry. About how he was probably five years old when he first really found out what football was. On Sundays, his dad would sit and turn on the game. It wasn’t until one specific day that Darry came up and sat next to him. And he started asking questions. That’s how he first got into it. And Darrel Curtis Sr was thrilled. Because his first son, his little boy, wanted to watch football with him. That was something he loved sharing with Darry.

So when Darry said that he wanted to start playing, Darrel Sr taught him everything he knew. He had Darry up and running drills early in the morning and passing a ball at night. And Darry loved it. He loved the sport, but he also loved bonding with his dad. And he was good. He was really good. So, he went on to play in high school. And became a captain. And then he got a scholarship. When Darry got that in the mail, the first person he ran to was his dad. Because his dad was the reason he had this passion, this talent, and this joy, so he had to be the first to know.

The first Sunday after his dad died, Darry woke up and went to go turn on the game, only to realize that he’d be watching it alone. He would never watch another game with his dad ever again. And the same was true when he pulled out the football he’d been throwing with his dad for a decade. Suddenly his go to toss partner wasn’t there. But life carries on. Football still gets played. Balls still get passed. And every Sunday, for just a split second, Darry forgets. For just a moment, he can imagine he’ll walk into the living room to the TV playing a game, food being made, and his dad’s joyous smile that his son wants to enjoy this with him.

[claritys-silly-things]

It’s that time again yall

Headcanons! It’s a long one this time

Emetophobia tw

- (I think I can classify this as modern) Rip sodapop curtis you would’ve loved saying “I’m just a girl 🎀”

- Soda never liked haircuts. When he was a small feral child his long hair would get tangled a lot, but he’s tender headed as FUCK so he would scream and cry when his momma brought the brush out. Darry put sodas hair into braids sometimes just for fun and soda didn’t mind bc it kept his hair from getting tangled, and then it didn’t hurt to brush. He’s always had really soft hair and it grows super fast.

- Jealous little soda asksjks (this was about soda being jealous over pony getting attention as a baby but I don’t wanna edit the original ramble I wrote down)

- When ponyboy was born he just kind of STARED. No crying or anything just 👁️👁️. Even Darry cried when he was born. Soda cried a lot.

- Adding on, Darry and pony were pretty quiet babies. They still cried for food and stuff sometimes but not a lot. Soda was a LOUDDD crier, and a frequent one too. It was the type of crying that sounds like it hurts the baby’s throat cause they’re shrieking their head off. Also soda would cry for, like, the first year of his life if he was ever handed to his dad.

- If Johnny survived the fire and got a wheelchair, he’d be running over people’s feet. Constantly. Just because. Or bc they asked for it. Either way, the moment he gets a hang of that wheelchair it is OVER for yall. And probably before that too.

- Ponyboy gets the same. Goddamn. Thing. At EVERY restaurant. Partly because it scares him to order anything else, partly because he’s picky asf. He makes sure it’s there on the menu and has his order memorized by now. “Chicken tenders, fries, and a Pepsi please.” He’s tried to ask for other things in the past like eggs, cuz he likes those, but the moment they asked him “how would you like them done” he just stared at Darry because he didn’t know what all the different types of eggs were, and now he’s scared bc he’s taking longer, and the server is still there, so he just got sunny side up eggs and they were slimy and he wanted to go home and cry (based on a true story sadly)

- Basically pony has anxiety and probably autism (so me)

- Ponyboy likes avocado. That’s it that’s the headcanon. It’s like one of the only healthy-ish things he’ll eat.

- Soda gets suuuper nauseous really easily, and pony gets carsick on occasion. So the first time pony went to a theme park, his family was scared that he would throw up like soda. They go on a ride and he’s like “yall im fine dawg.” Soda is jealous bc pony can go on rides unaffected (soda will still go on rides anyways, he just throws up afterwards)

- Pony is the most PALE ASS BITCH you’ve ever seen. He burns soo easily. His face gets red really quickly, no matter what’s going on. The only time he gets the slightest bit darker is when he burns and tans. Two-bit has been like “you ain’t white you translucent” multiple times because in the right lighting you can see pony’s veins. It’s even worse because soda and Darry tan so wonderfully, and pony looks like he had an allergic reaction if he doesn’t reapply his sunscreen when he’s supposed to. I feel like Mrs Curtis is the reason for this, she didn’t tan. Mr Curtis did tho.

- Pony has mild (severe) ocd

- Marcia’s last name is smith she is white-Hispanic on one side and Native American on the other thank you for coming to my TED talk

- Marcia is Cuban and Native American

- Marcia’s full name is Marcia smith that’s it that’s the end

It’s funny cuz I listed these things like three times and just forgot about the other two

- Twobit is Brazilian end headcanon

- Mr Curtis had autism and Mrs Curtis had inattentive adhd

- Mr Curtis was half Mexican on his mom’s side and half Irish on his dad’s side. Mrs Curtis was full Italian-American.

- Darrys the typa guy to make pony and soda turn off a show or movie if it talks about possession or like demonic stuff/soul stealing stuff

- (Modern au) Darry will get a text from ponyboy about something, like “can I go in your room rq” and he sees it but doesn’t actually open the text message until later and like, two hours later he’ll just respond “no” and thinks it’s the funniest shit ever

[specific-dreamer]

my baby, my baby (you’re my baby)

Summary: darry visits his dad and rants. he also cries. </3

Darrel loves each of his kids (and stray kids) equally. No matter how hard Steve tries to pry it out of him, he does not have a favorite.

He loved when Johnny came over for dinner and he’s able to convince the kid to spend the night, he loves when Soda and Steve came home with new stories about their day at the rodeo, he loved when he came home from work and Ponyboy would rush to tell him about the book he’d just finished, he loved attending Ace’s recitals, and he loved when Dally comes over just to sit in their company when he could’ve been causing a ruckus around town instead.

He is, however, a little more partial to his first born than the others. No hard feelings, he still loves his other kids, but Darrel Junior was his first child; the reason he’s the father he was a father, so he’s always going to have a soft spot for him no matter what he does.

Besides, it doesn’t hurt that Junior is the only one who visits him and Karen on a normal basis. Darrel huffs to himself has he sits on top of his grave. Since dying, he’s somehow gained an internal watch, so he knows it’s 3:47pm exactly; when Junior visits it’s usually around 4pm.

Junior’s early today though, Darrel thinks to himself hearing footsteps approaching. There’s not much else he can do but wait for Darry who bends in front of Karen’s grave and leaves her a flower first. If he were alive, Darrel’s heart might’ve clenched. Karen’ll be sorry he missed Darry, but she’s watching over the other boys right now; it’s alright though, Darrel will fill her in when she gets back.

Darry’s head was bent too low for him to get a good look at first, but now that he’s turned towards Darrel’s grave he can see the tears streaming down his face. If he still needed oxygen, he’s sure his breath would’ve caught.

“Hi, Dad,” Darry’s says taking a seat on the ground. Darrel can’t help but notice he’s got his knees pulled to him like he’s trying to protect himself.

He frowns and pulls himself to join Darry on the ground. Hey, kiddo. What’s the matter? He knows Darry can’t hear him, he learnt that the hard way a while ago now, it still brings him a little bit of comfort though.

Darry sniffs. “I don’t know how you and Mama did it.”

Did what?

Darry gestures in the air, “This parenting shit- stuff, I meant stuff, sorry.” Darrel laughs a little; his baby’s twenty years old and still apologizing for cussing.

If he’s honest, Darrel isn’t even sure how he did it. It was in large part thanks to Karen, of course, she kept him steady whenever he floundered. Junior also helped too, though. He doesn’t like to throw the word around, but for all intent and purposes, Darry was a perfect first child.

“The other night,” Darry continues. “I guess Ponyboy had a nightmare or something, I don’t know, but I heard him asking Soda why I hated him.” His voice breaks at the end and Darrel is forced to watch as Junior sobs into his arms.

It’s futile he knows, but after a moment of watching he hugs Darry anyway. Almost as if he could actually feel the hug, Darry stiffens before looking up and staring straight through Darrel. Spooky, he thinks.

“I don’t hate him, I promise.”

I know you don’t.

“I love him a lot, but it’s like he purposely grates my nerves. He knows I’m stretched thin and it’s like he’s trying to see how long until I snap. And that’s not fair! I don’t know how to be a parent, I don’t how to raise a fourteen year old!”

Darrel isn’t sure when it happened, but a flip was switched as Junior started to rant angrily. He doesn’t leave the cemetery too often, but when he did he noticed the two often riled each other up; it was never one sided. He can’t exactly correct Darry though so he hums instead.

“Daddy, you know when you first, um,” he winces. “left, Pony didn’t talk for a week. Okay, that’s fine, I can handle that, but he stopped eating too. I tell him, ‘Pony you have to eat something, you can only go so long without eating before you die from starvation.’ And I kid you not the only thing he says to me that entire week was ‘You’re not dad, Darrel, you can’t tell me what to do’. I never said I was! I just didn’t want him to die too, is that so bad?”

Darrel blinks. That was a lot, and he’s not really sure where to start processing it. He sighs airlessly, It’s not bad. You were worried about him and had his best interests at heart I get it. Is he eating now at least?

Just as fast as it came, the anger seems to leave Darry all once as he lies back on the grass with his hands over his face. “I don’t even know if he eating for real, yet. I’m not home enough to know; I eat my breakfast in the dark, go to work, come home when everyone’s asleep, eat dinner in the dark, go to bed, rinse and repeat.”

Darrel winces. Even he didn’t work those kind of hours and could’ve handled them. Darrel liked his solitude every now and then, but not Darry. No, not his Junior; his Junior is a people’s person through and through, there’s a reason he won boy of his year.

Rubbing Darry’s ankle he says, I know you’re working your ass off, but I’m real proud of you, baby. I know it don’t look it now, but it will all pay off.

There’s a pause, and if he wants he could trick himself into believing his boy heard him, before Darry says something so quietly Darrel has to strain to hear. “I know it’s wrong, and I try not to, but sometimes I wish I let them get taken. I love them, really I do! But Soda wants to drop out of school and Pony hates me and he thinks I hate him back, and don’t even get me started on Dallas— I don’t think there’s a been a weekend where we haven’t haven’t argued or he hasn’t been in jail. I’m trying my best, but I keep screwing up and that’s not fair on them.”

He breaks into sobs again, this time so strong his whole body shakes. Darrel can’t even do anything to comfort him, his stupid ghost body isn’t corporeal. The best thing he can do is stroke Darry’s hair and hope he knows his daddy is here for him. He hates seeing his kids cry and he’s never been more angry that he’s dead.

Between sobs Darry says, “I wanna leave. So I can’t mess anything else up.”

No, sir. You’ll get the hang of things soon enough, it’s a new adjustment and y’all’ve just gotta find your footing. I know it’s hard, but y’all will find it.

“I’m not gonna,” Darry protests. His baby is red in the face and breathing real hard, but Darrel is thankful is eyes are finally starting to dry. “I want to leave but I don’t want to leave them.”

So, what are you gonna do, Junior?

“I don’t know,” he answers. “I wish you were here, you’d know what to do.”

Darrel winces. Actually now-

“Well, never mind. You wouldn’t be dumb enough to get in this situation to begin with.”

Harsh, but he’s probably right. Darrel watches as the gears turn in Junior’s head. He loves all his kids equally, yes. But Darry’s always been his favorite to watch because when he isn’t focused he wears every emotion on his face. He can see exactly when Darrys made his mind up long before he stands up and dusts off his pants.

“You drive a hard bargain, but fine I’ll stay.” Darrel barks out a laugh as Darry checks his watch. It’s 6:29pm, he’s been here for nearly three hours. “Shit, I said I’d make dinner.” Somehow, when Darry looks up he’s staring Darrel in the eyes. “I’ve gotta run, but I’ll see you later.”

Alright, stay tough out there. I love you, kiddo.

Darry’s eyes widen a minuscule amount and he grins as he ducks his head. “Yeah, I love you too, daddy.”

[curlyshepardconfirmed]

I feel like above all else Darrel Curtis Sr. was a girl dad but then they had Darry but he girl dadded so hard that they had Sodapop

[wassupmygays]

thinking about how darry curtis was "the spitting image" of his dad. his namesake.

thinking about how, growing up, he couldnt go a month without hearing "kid, you look just like your dad!"

thinking about how that statement used to fill him with so much pride, but now it just fills him with guilt and longing and fear that he wont ever be able to live up to the man that was Darrel Curtis Sr.

thinking about how, as the years go on now after that fateful winter, he hears that statement less and less. because less and less people remember his dad now that he is gone

[brat-pack-it-up-boys]

Elaborating on my headcanon that Dallas can’t drive for shit

When he was first trying to learn at 15 he fully hit and almost ran over Steve

Darrel Curtis Sr was in the passengers seat while this happened like

[damthosefandoms]

whatever you do, don’t think about the fact that darry never got to watch a single super bowl with his dad.

[girlishwhimsies]

SODAS SCHOOL YEARS YALL BUCKLE UP

he would LOVEEEEEEE pre k and kindergarten!!! idk if he would actually get to go to pre k since yknow. 60s. but he would be so excited like wdym he gets to go to school with all of his friends and they get to do crafts and get read stories! highlight of his school year.

thennnnnnnnn it all starts to go downhill. 1st grade. when they are all expected to really start reading and writing and they keep telling him to write with his right hand and his handwriting is too messy even with his left hand and all the letters just feel wrong and no one gets it. he would keep getting in trouble for just refusing to do his work and “acting out” and he would always be taking off his shoes cause they just feel too weird and he doesn’t get how everyone else can adjust so easily!!! although whenever he gets in trouble or has a meltdown he gets sent to darry’s classroom since he is in 5th grade (@damthosefandoms my absolute angel has an entire timeline for what grades all the greasers would be and it is my saving grace) and he loves that. just ough he is not doing well

2nd grade is even worse!! darry is in middle school so he doesn’t have him anymore and now they are doing even more reading and writing and math and he just doesn’t get it. he thinks it’s so unfair that his brother was able to do well and since he is darry’s brother they are so confused on why he isn’t doing as well as darry. he can’t focus on any of it and he just has so so much energy and so all the teachers label him as a trouble maker (read undiagnosed adhd) soda legir SOBS in the morning begging not to have to go. his teacher is mean and he doesn’t like his classmates and he feels so alone. mrs curtis’ heart breaks every time she has to get soda to the bus cause he just looks so sad

the rest of elementary goes about the same and suddenly he has homework and mr curtis tries to help him every evening but soda is just crying and can’t focus and just wants to go to bed and not worry about school anymore. he asks his parents if he can drop out but bro is legit like 10 he cannot drop out lmao. pony does so well in school too like darry and soda doesn’t get what he is doing wrong. why is he the dumb brother

middle school he just fully commits to being the class clown. if you can’t be smart then you gotta be funny in order to distract from the fact you flunk every single test and all of these new subjects are so stressful that you can’t even think half the time. he is counting down the days til school ends. he doesn’t cry before school anymore but he is so nauseous every morning and can’t even eat breakfast cause he knows it’ll just be another day of teachers look at him disappointedly and he has to act like he doesn’t care!!!! he doesn’t even do the work half the time anymore what’s the point. they force pass him.

high school is more of the same, he really starts giving up at that point. he can feel his parents worry and disappointment radiating off of them, and every time he sees darry and pony get honor roll he secretly breaks a bit more inside. why can’t he be like that. so he keeps making people laugh, starts skipping when class gets too hard, and plans to drop out. another drop out in a long line of greasers who did the same. he can’t face telling his parents the fact he is going to drop out so he keeps going. after their death he finally does it, it’s not like they are around to hold him after he fails another test or wipe his tears away after a hard day anymore. so he drops out

but he does Not tell darry. he keeps going and just sneaks back home after he goes to work. he can’t admit it to him yet but ofc he finds out. darry doesn’t even know what to say, but he has to let soda make his own choices. but he won’t let pony end up the same so he constantly makes sure pony does his homework

soda with adhd and dyslexia i love you so much you deserved SO much better

[dallasgallant]

POV you’re Mrs. Curtis 1950s-mid 60s. This is a regular occurrence

Imagine just having a gang of little boys bring critters into your home constantly and you don’t even know how they manage or where they’re even finding them. Darrel sr. Is not helping. He is encouraging this.

Possum, raccoon, rabbits, armadillo, squirrel somehow, stray dogs, coyote they thought was a dog, probably would do a deer or a mountain lion if they could

Just converted and mud holding some poor creature like it’s a caught fish way too proud of themselves.

Johnny’s best with rabbits. Dallas would fight a bear given a chance . Steve can and will wiggle himself under a house after something .Twobit would jump in a river. Pony is good at climbing and fast. Soda does good calls. Darry tracks and knows basic animal facts.

[curtis-brothers-hug]

I definitely share the headcanon that Darry doesn’t catcall or harass girls, and he’s one of the only ones in the gang - if not the only one - who doesn’t.

But he did it a few times, back at the beginning of high school. Because all his new friends were doing it, and he wasn’t so perfect at fourteen and fifteen, and it was the early 1960s.

Until one time he joined his friends in catcalling a girl walking down the street outside the malt shop where they were hanging out. And that was the moment his dad pulled up to drive him home.

Darrel Curtis Sr dragged his eldest son into the car and absolutely laid into him. (“If you wouldn’t say it to your mama, you don’t say it to any girl, ya hear me?!”) It was one of the only times Darry can remember his father being utterly furious with him.

[to-know-how-it-ends]

thought I'd make a collection of my hcs to add to so they're accessible (mainly for me) in one place so here y'all go

Brill on Valentines

Cherrycola Nicknames

Pick Up My Paycheck

Brill and Soda Foils

Brill/Curtis Parallels

Yom Kippur Darry

Brillsoda

Bageling

On Brill and Marcia and Flowers

Brill Starts Pulling His Punches

Melvin is Bev

Soc Ranking

Bevbrill Breakup

Marcia’s Family

Progressively Bittersweet Jewish Curtises

Random Jewish Outsiders Hcs

Outsiders Tu Bishvat

New Money Brill

What’s in a name: an ongoing Jewish outsiders series

Sodapop Curtis

Clark Brillstein

Karen Josephine Curtis

Darrel Curtis Sr.

Generational Names

[made-my-peace-with-all-the-bad]

My arm has been twisted and I now offer the people of tumblr my 1800 word Darry yap:

Thinking about Darry and his parents. More specifically, Darry and his dad. How they must’ve been so close. How Darry loved both of his parents to the moon and back, but he just had a special bond with his dad. He knew he could always rely on him, so since he was three, he’s always wanted his dad. If he woke up from a nightmare, if he was sick, if he fell and scraped his knee, he always wanted his dad. How he felt so guilty about that for a while. It wasn’t until he was eight and realized that Soda was always reaching for their mama that he started to feel a little better. He felt like it was ok that he reached for their dad when his brothers reached for their mom.

How Darry grew up carrying so much pride in the fact that his father gave him his name. He loved that a piece of his dad was always with him. He also knew how proud his dad was of him. How he knew Darry would do some much in his life. He saw the way his father’s face filled with joy when Darry showed him his first football jersey with the name Curtis on the back. He remembers opening up a college acceptance letter and scholarship and immediately running to his dad. How Darry had handed him the letter and his father’s eyes had filled with tears. How that was the first time Darry saw his dad cry. He remembers how his dad had put a hand on his shoulder to reassure him right before the state championship game and told him that no matter what, he was proud of him. He remembers that after his dad had went to go find his mom and brothers, he’d made a silent promise that he’d do everything he could to win. And he did.

He also remembers the night before he was going up to his college dorm. How he’d sat in his room, his backpack open and completely empty. He’d looked around at the room he’d grown up in, and he was scared. He was terrified. How he’d walked over to his dresser and picked up a framed picture of him and his parents and brothers right after the championship game. Darry’s hair was sweaty against his head, but he had the biggest smile on his face. Ponyboy and Soda were hugging him, also with big smiles. His mom looked so proud of her son. But the only face he could focus on was his father’s. How his dad had a smile that rivaled Darry’s. Darry felt his chest swell with emotion looking at the photo. And suddenly, there were drops on the glass that covered the picture. Then, his father was standing in the doorframe. But by the time Darry had blinked, his dad was sitting next to him on his bed. His dad just reached out and let Darry, his first son, the boy who carried his name, the boy who made him a father, cry into his shoulder. Because he shouldn’t be this stressed about leaving. He should be excited, lord knows Darrel Sr would’ve been if he’d gone to college. But here he was, venting out all his fears while his dad just reassured him that he’d be fine. And he had Paul too. Even if he wouldn’t see his family every day, he still had a piece of home with him, after all, Paul was going to be his roommate so he’d probably see him so much they’d be sick of each other.

But then, his dad died. And suddenly, Darry was standing in the living room of the house he grew up, 15 feet from his dad’s chair, being told that his parents were gone. Dead. Suddenly, he was telling the cop that he would become his brothers’ legal guardian. Suddenly, filling out the paper work and writing down his name made nausea swirl in his stomach and made his head hurt. Because that wasn’t his name. That was his dad’s name. But that didn’t matter right now, what mattered was keeping his brothers safe and home. So he just filled it out and gave it to the state. He dropped out of college. He got a full time job at the same place his dad used to work. And he was slowly becoming Darrel.

Darry left the house six times during the week Pony was gone. Five of those times were to go to work because bills didn’t care if your baby brother could be dead somewhere. The other time was to go to the cemetery. Normally he would’ve taken Soda, but he couldn’t this time. Because he wasn’t even out of the car before he broke down sobbing. He cried in his car for a little bit, before deciding he needs to do what he came to do. So he got up, and walked over to the headstone at his mom and dad’s grave. He sat down and just started apologizing. He told them he was so sorry. He was so sorry that he couldn’t protect his brothers. He was so sorry that their baby ran away and it was his fault. He was so sorry for hurting them. He told them he didn’t know how they did it. He told them he wished they would come back. He wished they’d never left in the first place. He wished that Pony would come home. How he knew he didn’t deserve it, but he wished it brother would come home. Maybe not even for him, but for Soda. He told them that he couldn’t stand the fear he’d seen fill Pony’s eyes after he hit him. He looked at the gravestone with his parents names carved in it, and he told them he never meant to fuck up this bad. He told them that maybe it’d be better if Soda and Pony were with someone else. Maybe he just wasn’t cut out to be taking care of them. He told them that he knew Pony hated him, he knew Pony thought Darry hated him. Darry swore he didn’t, he loved his brothers more than anything. He didn’t even remember when he started crying, he just tasted the salt of tears in his mouth. So he shut his eyes tight in an attempt to stop them, because who the hell was he to cry? He did this, why should he get to be upset over it?

And in that moment, with his eyes shut, he could’ve sworn he felt his father’s reassuring hand on his shoulder, or his mother’s warm fingers wipe away the tears running down his cheeks. Maybe it was the wind, but Darry would’ve sworn that he heard their voices reassuring him. Maybe he was crazy, but he stood up and thanked them anyway. He’d told them he loved them and that he was going to do everything he could to bring their baby back home.

Darry mentally kicked himself when he got home and saw the kitchen light on. Because that meant Soda had and he was probably freaking out at waking up to an empty house in the middle of the night. So, Darry braced himself for the worst. But what he didn’t expect, was seeing the kitchen and living room empty. Confused, he’d gone to Soda’s room, it was also empty, but it was clear that Soda had been sleeping there because his half of the bed was all messed up, like someone had been tossing and turning. It wasn’t until he reached his own bedroom door that he heard quiet cries. So he’d pushed open the door and was met with the sight of Soda, curled in on himself, body shaking while he cried. Darry was immediately sent into older brother mode while he walked over to his brother. He’d knelt down in front of him and quietly asked him what was wrong. Soda’s head shot up at his brother’s voice and he just whispered out that he’d thought Darry had left too. And the sight of his little brother looking so scared and small broke Darry’s heart even further, something he didn’t even think was possible. It wasn’t until he’d managed to calm down Soda enough to convince him that he wasn’t going anywhere, that he saw Soda holding something. It was a frame. And in it was the picture of their family from Darry’s senior year. The photo with Darry smiling the biggest he ever had. The photo with Pony and Soda clinging to their big brother because of how amazing they thought he was. And then there was his mom, who looked so proud of him that he almost started crying. Lastly, there was his dad. His dad with the proud smile, equally as big as Darry’s. His dad who had taken off a whole day of work just to drive the whole family out to see him play. His dad who taught Darry how to play football in the first place. And looking at him did make Darry start to cry. So he pulled Soda close, and they just looked down at their family photo. Their family before it was shattered and separated. Their family when it was whole, and complete, and happy.

Soda spent the night in Darry’s room after that. He refused to let Darry out of his sight for fear that he was gone or he was going to leave the minute Soda fell asleep. But when they were both tucked in Darry’s too small bed, Soda finally let himself succumb to sleep. But Darry couldn’t sleep. He was too busy thinking about his dad. How would he feel seeing Darry now? Would he be proud of how his son stepped up? Or would he shake his head in disappointment and say that Darry was hurting his brothers? Then, Darry lets his mind wander to thoughts of how things would be if his parents never died. Would he wake up to his mom laughing at her 20 and 16 year old sons sleeping in a full size bed? Would he walk out to see his dad reading the paper in his chair? Would he kiss his mama’s cheek then ask his dad if they were watching the game on Sunday? Would his dad say that he had work, but somehow still turn up in time to watch at least half of it with him? Would he be working with his dad? No, he’d probably still be at college. Maybe starting his junior year by now. Maybe his dad would joke that his son would be in the draft in a few years. Maybe he’d call his brother’s and give them relationship advice while Paul sat on his bed giggling at him. Maybe in that world, he could look at pictures of his parents without longing for one more conversation. One more rushed goodbye because he was late. One more time that his dad patted him on the back. One more time his dad gave him a proud smile and said he was glad his son wore his name.

[walmartbrandwhatever]

Soda's the type of kid that no matter what you did would somehow escape his crib and even the house or would somehow end up in cabinets without his parents knowing and scaring the shit outta them and in this essay I will-