#i used to write poetry here and there a few years ago but since the pandemic i wrote basically nothing

[roaringroa]

i thought i couldn't get any gayer and then i started writing poetry again

[some-triangles]

I've been on tumblr since 2011, and this is technically a sideblog. My creative focus shifted over here, to - I guess what could loosely be referred to as fandom space? It was Homestuck's fault - many years ago, and I more or less consciously decided to shift the original blog's purpose from writing little bits of poetry about weird birds to finding bird videos on other platforms that I thought could go viral and reposting (stealing) them. (Always credited, of course. I'm not a monster.) This worked pretty well, and now I have 6000+ followers over there. Since I never use it to promote anything or for any purpose beyond birdposting I feel OK about this as an experiment. I mostly use it to people-watch.

The latest video I have gaining traction over there is one my friend Rat sent me (one of many friends who either found me through birds or Homestuck and each is equally plausible) in which a pelican at a petting zoo is forced to cough up the gosling it was attempting to swallow by a handler who has clearly had to deal with this many times before. She then frogmarches (birdmarches?) it away by its beak. Good stuff, and very on brand, as I've been warning people about the horrors of pelican vore for ages. (I even got my very own pervert for a while, an anon who kept badgering various bird blogs to write about what it might be like to be swallowed.) When something I post starts doing numbers I like to watch the notes and tags, because it fascinates me how people like to make the same jokes, over and over and over. Not even their own jokes. I have never fully understood this but it's undeniably foundational to the way the internet works. Like, I get dropping References in conversation - social glue and all that, fun and funny - but in a public forum? Where you could literally check and see how many people have said the same thing before you got to it? Baffling. Universal.

Anyway. We started slow with this one, and we had some discerning folks doing Democracy Manifest bits - succulent avian meal, and all that. As references go it's a pretty good one, as it has its own wikipedia page and everything, and it's timely with Jack Karlson's recent passing. There were a few I am Forcibly Escorted From tags, which is nice, since you don't hear that one much these days. A bunch of quotidian "she's so done" or "like a toddler being dragged by his ear" observations, mostly uninspiring, although the specificity of one person's "my mom dragging me into the church bathroom to whoop my ass" was worth sharing. A little bit of the classic concern trolling you get with any animal video - why indeed is this bird being kept in the same place as all these edible little guys? But, inevitably, because it is the perfect time to use it, most people went with "put baby in pelican mouth."

And the thing about this is that I know the person who wrote the original "put baby in pelican mouth" post. We met through tumblr. She was absolutely inspired by my pelican posting to write that piece, and I know that because we ended up dating. It ended badly, and I still have regrets about it, and now, every time I make a pelican post, I am treated to a choir of strangers - literally hundreds of them - repeating a joke which was written by my ex-girlfriend. It's straight from the ironic punishment division, really. But birdpost I must, and tagwatch I must.

Anyway, Nikki, if you're out there, hope you're doing well.

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

hi it's the good omens mascot here's some shit about me that might be relevant

I appear to have accidentally caused chaos so I figured you might as well know about me since I'm responsible for it. And also so that you know who you broke, thanks ineffable fandom.

I have been called the prophet by some of you all. This is not entirely untrue, but I would like to add as I did in one post, that Apollo also gave me the curses of art, (very emotional) music, (sometimes good mostly dreadful) poetry, (same parentheses apply, except that the dreadful is on purpose) writing and (used to be good now dreadful) medical knowledge, and so yes, you did accidently adopt a messenger of an ancient Greek god.

Yes, this entire entry into your cult happened from start to now happened in 48 hours.

This will seem less bizarre when I give you context about me and fandoms. I changed career paths (after three years of intense study that cost me my sanity) from science to the arts because I was inspired by drarry fanfiction of them leaving their ministry jobs and following their dreams. Yes I tossed three years and my loss of sanity away in one week of decisions. I'm now a designer. Thanks Draco.

I read so much drarry fanfiction that my mum had to take me to the hospital for injured wrists. I wore wrist and elbow supports and was in constant pain for a few months. I was only later introduced to autoscroll. Yes, I am a fool. Yes, I am unaware of how to human.

I'm broke and cheap enough that I feel guilty buying bottled water, but for Christmas I spent the equivalent of around 150 bottles of water getting a Bakewell tart custom made (they don't sell them where I live). Why? Because in one single fanfiction, it is Draco's favourite food. I would never spend that kind of money on a dessert for any real human being.

That is to say, you all are not ready for when I REALLY fall for Crowley. I don't saunter vaguely downwards for people. I bypass earth and crash into hell, leaving a smoking pit in its infernal ground.

I swear I'm not as dumb as I seem, I just have ZERO general knowledge, and am terrible with faces. I can tell you what the graffiti on the walls of Pompeii from before 70 AD said but I don't know who my previous president was, and personally I think that's very classy of me.

Some of you seem concerned about my sleep schedule. Worry not, I sleep in four installments, night, morning nap, afternoon nap, evening nap. I sleep more than you all, that I can promise. I sleep more than my doggy sister.

About the streams and the timezones, I have no idea how to make it so people can watch, because I frequently mix up east and west and last morning I mixed up the Pacific and Atlantic ocean. I don't know at what point the Eastern hemisphere becomes the Western or how any of it works. I also thought Wakanda was a real place.

But hey fun fact, in 2020 diclofenac sales were dropping in Iceland. I know this because I wanted to make sure to use the correct painkiller in one sentence of a story I was writing. It was completely irrelevant. But hey any of you writers here probably feel my pain. I don't write fanfiction, but I am an author and I write original stories. And honestly what is more useful, Icelandic diclofenac sales from three years ago or timezones?

A career test once told me to be a standup comedian.

Yes that's me Asmi, just your regular dumbass lad who is slightly unhinged, serving himbo twink energy, hello hi nice to meet you all. PS: the poll results are out and Doctor Who won, so tremble, DW fandom.

[cody-00]

This advice leaves me floored. If I read these panels a few years ago, who knows how my college journey could have gone.

A workshop class of mine had an assignment similar to the one in Blue Period where I had to discover a poetry collection of my liking. Then, I had to write a few poems in conversation with the author and a written response mixing analysis of the collection and the thought process behind my poems. Once that part was submitted, the class gave a brief presentation of their project. My confidence throughout the course was low for a few reasons. I've never been well-read in poetry but took an upper-level course out of necessity, thus being surrounded by smart, earnest, and more experienced peers. Furthermore, I knew a classmate secretly found me obnoxious towards the end of the previous semester in another workshop class, making me paranoid about whether I misread the quality of goodwill of my most basic actions and if many others felt a similar, justifiable distaste towards me.

Nothing felt quite right after sampling a list of collections recommended to me by my professor based on my style. I settled on one where some poems clicked, some didn't. Here's where the third reason for my insecurity kicked in: it was poetry within my home region—a place I have a complicated relationship with.

A hatred of where I grew up made the idea of escaping to an out-of-state college attractive, but lack of funds and merit landed me in an in-state university. Instead of being bitter about it, I changed my approach. I acknowledged that I was possibly an edgy young adult who needed a change in perspective from more like-minded people, leading figures, and academics within the region to truly appreciate my home.

That hunch still doesn't have a great answer (especially since I didn't follow my intended approach with as much determination as I should have), but my efforts led to a weird yet relevant consequence: the exposure to differing attitudes and perspectives from my own made me feel like an outsider to the very place I grew up in. Identifying and calibrating any of those people's attitudes and experiences with my own felt like a struggle, and knowing their prestige made me question the authenticity and accuracy of my self-concept. Putting my feelings into terms used by Blue Period, I feared that my perspective was no better than (and the same as) a tourist despite being a local my whole life.

The same self-skepticism crept in when analyzing my chosen poetry anthology. Inevitably, a fork in the road laid before me: do I express antagonism despite my ignorance in the field, the possibility of furthering distaste upon me amongst my peers in my resistance and implied negativity, and a cultural image that seemed so firmly established to where it threatened to undermine my own; or do I commit to an effort in understanding the work so deeply that it surrenders my ego?

The first option… I couldn't bring myself to do it… It felt too arrogant. All those fears compelled a conclusion that there must have been something wrong with me that needed to change. As a result, I tried to put myself in the poet's shoes by mimicking the collection's style. I thought that could have allowed something to click and, if not, I was at least maintaining respect for the poet.

My professor gave feedback on my submission. It's essentially the same idea Blue Period teaches and warns its readers about, with added salt to the wound of the implication that my presentation still hinted ambivalence despite not wanting to. Here's the screenshot:

Did Blue Period allow me to understand the meaning of my professor's advice? A final project for the course required revisions of a few poems of choice out of a variety written throughout the semester. I picked one of the poems from this assignment since a route for improvement looked clear. Despite understanding what my professor meant, the real possibility that those changes were motivated by catering to the one deciding my grade for the course erodes any confidence towards the ideal interpretation of substantiating a newfound maturity in my artistic approach. To clarify, I'm not criticizing my professor—the fact that she identified the repercussions of my problematic approach feels like a miracle. Yet, reading these recent Blue Period chapters let me go a layer deeper.

It's not a straightforward lesson, though. My story doesn't quite align with Yatora's, and identifying the differences allows me to learn from the story with more nuance. Yatora loves Bacon and knows more about him, contrasting with my attitude towards my poet of choice. More pressure was put on me in this regard, for there is a more unsavory aspect in criticizing a poet one has no real attachment towards versus one whom respect has already been made clear. My professor also notes a silver lining that comes with a willingness in trying learn from an author that one doesn't gel with.

Furthermore, Blue Period likes to show how complex and ambivalent navigating through the world of art can be, so I can't dismiss the possibility of the manga throwing a wrench in what seems to be one of the series' most straightforward lessons in a later chapter.

There's great comfort in being able to relate to something I thought was, if not nonexistent to others, left unsaid. Being able to capture this feeling is a testament to the realism in the manga's exploration of art and character work. Blue Period gives a reassurance and almost ironic realization that, even if I struggle to relate to stories near where I live, I can identify with even the most niche feelings and circumstances in stories on the other side of the world.

If I could have done things differently, avoiding antagonism still would've been the right choice, but I'd be looser in how I drew inspiration from my selected poet. Funnily enough, this stumble and the subsequent lesson could have been avoided. I initially disqualified a different recommended poetry collection (i.e., Obit by Victoria Chang) due to it only being accessible digitally. I read it a little before the course ended anyway and loved it. It's tough to call whether how things turned out was the most enriching path compared to a hypothetical scenario where I found and chose Obit instead, but I'd like to think so.

[lyralit]

4.1.24 - the importance of learning new things

As much as I think academic & work focus is incredibly important going into the new year, one of my other goals is to practice doing more: to learn all of the things I want to do, in addition to work, in addition to writing. I want to know how to do thousands of little things, and I think the longer we wait, the less likely we are to do them.

Picking up a new hobby doesn't have to be buying a dozen textbooks and spending hundreds of dollars on lessons because you might have the slightest interest: it can be from whatever you have here, now, and you'll never learn if you don't get started.

Some of the things I've been getting into (as I've mentioned before) are baking & crocheting. it just feels so cozy and nice & I love the idea of comfort.

here is a list of things I want to / you should try that's new!

learning a new language. fifteen minutes a day, I kid you not. I'm learning latin on duolingo and I don't ever think about it, but when I do it (25 day streak 💪🏻), I'm starting to notice my improvements

consuming good media. and that's not scrolling for half an hour on tumblr. it's books—deep ones and silly ones and ones about romance and dragons and apocalypses. it's movies! I watched keira knightley's pride and prejudice twice in the last few months, and also three men and a baby which is something I never thought I would watch, but it was quite funny I think. and I learn from it: I cannot write humour or romance for the life of me, so it's basically studying to write (is the self-gaslighting too evident?)

learning to crochet. I made a silly little headband today, after scrolling through pinterest and desperately wanting one. I started crocheting in december to give as gifts (I completed none of my wips, much like when I write) and used the tools I had around me: an old rainbow loom hook and whatever string I could find. now I'm proud to say I can read somewhat fluently crochet acronyms.

baking. I keep saying this. I know. but when I tell you a two years ago I was exploding cupcakes in the oven and last month I made bakery-style cookies...I made bread! a loaf of bread! (in a bread machine, but it's so good and I instantly made another. there is one in the bread machine right now). honestly it just made me feel that much better about improvement, and trying new things, and that is the mindset I want for the new year.

learning to code. in all honesty, I never thought I was a compsci - engineer kind of person. then this year, out of sudden (masterminded) urges, I joined a bunch of tech and robotics initiatives, and maybe it's the sense of community (I can rejoice in finding another nerdy group) but now I am happily chauffeuring myself to these meetings 4h a week. I'm looking into pursuing more into the fields of eng and science. and I'm learning some code from one of the friends I've made!

starting a blog. ...I know most of the people who linger around my blog stay for the writing content (the last posts have turned this writerblr into a digital diary, and I'm only half sorry for that). but since I've joined tumblr (almost three years ago now!) I've got to meet so many wonderful people (including you!) and want to try so many things.

and I get it. it's overwhelming. so here are some starting goals that maybe I'll try also.

start doing art. -> make a card for someone as a gift.

learn a new sport & start exercising. (I'm trying out track & field in the spring, so stay tuned to figure out how that goes) -> see if someone will come play ball with you. do 1 or 2 youtube workout videos a week.

film videos of your daily life. it doesn't need to be for posting! -> edit together clips you've taken for a last year recape.

start a scrapbook. -> print out photos and dig up construction paper. decorate a page.

make a poetry journal. -> go on pinterest to read poetry! pin styles you like and set fifteen minutes to writing.

make a regular journal! -> write once a day. just try: goals for the day in the morning, or a recap at night.

try your hand at gardening. -> research plants that grow well in your region. see if any of the seeds you may have at home are useful. water your lawn. buy a plant and try to keep it alive (set reminders, leave it in front of your sink)

learn to make candles. -> watch a youtube tutorial. see if you can play around with candles you already have.

play chess. -> see if someone will play chess with you. no? chess.com is right there. go make an account. go find a stranger.

learn to play an instrument off youtube. -> maybe you have a piano sitting around, or a guitar you've never touched. you don't even need to master it. pick a song you like and google that. no instrument? maybe there's a way to play drums with home items.

go for a run. -> once a week. a set time. just shoes and the outdoors. too cold? go to a gym and use a treadmill. maybe that's not possible? skip rope.

start / join a book club. -> just you, or some close friends, or people online. a book a month. talk about it.

** on that note, would anyone like to join a tumblr book club? slide into my asks and maybe we can get a blog list!

thank you for reading again <3 until next time.

k.

[sadstrever]

i’m still 114lbs. i feel sick. yesterday was an awful day, i came home and had an out of body chew and spit session. i wish there was more research on this part of ed’s, or just more people who talked about it because i can’t be alone in this. i refuse to believe i’m the only sick person who does disgusting shit like this. anyways the reason why i call it an out of body experience is because it’s almost like binging-just without all the swallowing of food. i came home and immediately started doing it and filled up 1 and 1/2 2 liter bottles with food. i spent 5 hours doing this without even realizing and pretty much emptied out my whole families fridge. the guilt i felt afterwards was worse than a binge in my opinion. not only did i totally waste SO MUCH food, make a huge mess, ended up with disgusting bottles of mush in my room, i also have to face the consequences of my family coming home to an empty fridge. but when they got home they were happy that i “ate.” god i’m such a fucking piece of shit.

anyways after all that i took 4 laxatives to try and get the guilt of wasting the food out of me. i woke up in the morning today in terrible pain but still had to go to class, cuz what am i supposed to tell my parents? “yeah i haven’t eaten in almost a month and basically just threw all the food we have out in the trash and i also took 4 laxatives, can i please stay home tehe?” so i went to 1 class and ended up leaving because the pain was so excruciating. straight from class i went to the gym and somehow burnt 900 calories because i guess that’s what guilt does to me. i had to take the bus 2 hours home afterwards(bus delays and i went to a new further gym location this time), high out of my mind. i’m home now and my stomach hurts but the laxatives finally did their job. i don’t want to keep doing this. 4 years ago i said i’d recover and then i didn’t. since then i’ve forgotten about recovery (with the exception of a few random moments here and there that i block out immediately), i am so used to living in this fucking misery that i didn’t realize how abnormal my reality is. i don’t want to be a bad person anymore. but i can’t stop lol.

this is what bothers me about the girls who romanticize this disorder SO MUCH, when much of the time they haven’t realized how difficult it can become. i know i’ve done this, even now sometimes as a coping mechanism. but man, i’m sick of it.

i have a friend who writes poetry and she wrote a poem about eating disorders that make me so fucking angry. the thing is, i’ve known her for years and she’s always had the best relationship with food out of most of the people i know. she’s naturally pretty thin(not too thin but normal) and she’s very open about her struggles. i know every single one of her stories, i know she’s diagnosed with adhd. that’s HER disorder, that i don’t understand so i DONT write fucking POETRY about it. a few months ago she kind of forced me into opening up about my eating disorder. after i did, suddenly she started writing these stories about her eating disorder-very very very suspiciously similar to mine. i obviously didn’t tell her everything but i told her about how long this has been going on and just my emotions about it. seeing her start to adapt my fucking disorder into her poetry disgusted me. she glamorized the fuck out of it and made me feel so stupid for ever opening up about it. she’s naturally skinny so she got a bunch of support from our friend group from it and i’m just upset man. i’m sick of living in misery while other people can use the idea of living in pain for attention.

i promised my best friend that in 3 weeks i’ll go back to therapy and try my best to recover. it’s not true. man it’s never fucking true. it’s never fucking over. unlike ms.deep-poetry-girl i can’t just fucking write this and log off and then eat a good warm meal and talk to my parents without them mentioning my body. i can’t wake up tomorrow morning and hug them without worrying that they’re gonna feel my bones. i can’t wear shorts anymore without people noticing the bruises. i can’t go to school and keep my focus because i have nothing to feed my brain. i can’t let anyone get close because soon enough they’ll be just like YOU. OR they’ll hate me for not wanting to get better. i can’t love myself like you do because of the disgusting things i do each day. i can’t wake up thinner and suddenly stop hating myself. FUCK YOUUUUUUUU GOD IM SO SICK OF IT GOD. whatever im done. just sick and tired.

[evilwickedme]

Ugh so. I last got new glasses somewhere around November/December 2021. Very shortly after, a little over a year ago, I literally fell straight on my face and the glasses bent severely - a technician or whatever they're called was able to get it more or less fine, but not exactly perfect, and it's always bothered me since (specifically above my left ear, where the frame presses against my skull, causing persistent pain). However, since glasses are super fucking expensive, I didn't buy new ones. Recently this prescription has also started giving me headaches, clearly indicating it is time for a new one. But I straight up cannot afford new glasses rn. I've discovered my insurance will subsidize a decent amount of the cost of a new pair at one specific store that is convenient for me anyway, but not enough to genuinely make a new pair affordable. So I'm just. Using my glasses less and less. Taking them off almost the moment I get home and using my phone super close to my face, which is terrible for my eyes but at least doesn't make my head hurt. I've also had a persistent migraine problem after a several month break from migraines - it's probably caused by recent high amounts of stress, such as the money troubles I've had over the last couple of months, but I don't think the glasses are helping.

Basically what I'm asking for here is... Money. There's a ko-fi linked in my linktree in my bio. Here's the thing - while I'd appreciate money for free, literally anything will help, I'm also absolutely willing to do commissions. I can write you poetry, a short fic for any fandom I'm familiar with (to be discussed on a case by case basis), hell I'll edit your school paper as long as it's in an area I have any knowledge on (or at least check it for typos). My DMs are open and you can feel free to send me a message once you've donated and we'll discuss. Commissions will get priority over my current wips, with the exception of the spider gwen fic which is supposed to be a reward for the blorbo bracket.

There is a target goal up on my ko-fi page of 350, but even if I get nowhere near that, I will take anything with me to get a new pair, probably in late June. It's just become unbearable.

I would, of course, appreciate a signal boost, although I don't want anybody to feel obligated. Please understand that you will see this post several times over the next few weeks, tho. Love y'all.

[cas-readsandwrites]

~~ Masterlist ~~

Thank you for stopping by! This blog and my writing projects are a giant work in progress since starting up writing again about six months ago. I don't keep a posting schedule though I do try to stick around and be active, but it comes and goes with seasons of life. Feel free to peruse, drop me a message, or suggest something new for me to read!

The Last Of Us

Traipse - in progress!

For @justagalwhowrites Birthday Challenge for our favorite TLOU main character. Prompts: Nightmares and Feral Joel. Setting: TLOU HBO series, set within the period of 5-20 years after the outbreak. Characters: Joel x OC Female, Tommy, Tess. Projected length: 10k+ Author’s note: This is literally the worst birthday present I could give anyone. Content warnings for canon-typical violence, character deaths, suicidal ideation, substance use. It is not a happy ending. It’s gonna be kind of long. Someone toss me down a well after this.  Credit to the lyrics of Traipse by Tremonti for story title and chapter titles 🖤 AO3 link

Welcome

Setting: TLOU, right after S1 finale, back in Jackson Characters: Joel x OC reader, Ellie Length: 2.5k Rating: This one is all-ages fluff (…for now?) Stands as a one-shot for now, might grow in the future!

[untitled] - prompted by a reblog *shrug*

‘Verse: TLOU, TV series, set before the show timeline Characters: Joel x Female Reader, only physical description is “not petite” so all you smol Joel lovelies can just imagine him effortlessly handling you. Length: 1.7k Rating: M, 18+ only, unprotected P in V, consent is sexy, practice safe sex IRL friends! One-shot, complete

The Mandalorian

Grogu's Dream - my very first fic shared here, dedicated to my subreddit friends and those who encouraged me to get back into writing and fanfic <3

Here

Setting: The Mandalorian, doesn’t matter when, Din exists, that’s all we need to know for now! Characters: The Mandalorian x female reader (AFAB, no mention of breasts) Length: 1.8k Rating: Minors do not enter! M for mature. Here be smut. That’s all it is. One-shot, complete

Prospect

To Leave The Green - Ezra & Cee, for @burntheedges roll-a-trope challenge prompt: groundhog day

Setting: Prospect. Set between the shootout where Ezra and Cee first meet and the end of the film… and how do we know it didn’t actually happen? That the Ezra we see in the film hasn’t already lived it a millenniary of times? “I like to think about what happens between what’s already been written, so I add new scenes sometimes, because then I get to spend more time in their world.” -Cee  Rating: PG-13, not quite as bad as the movie’s R, less language, similar content. Length: 2k One-shot, complete AO3 link

Narcos - coming soon :)

Star Wars misc

May the Fourth challenge

‘Verse: Star Wars, Rebels, set within S2 finale Characters: Chopper, Kanan, Ezra Length: 1.4k Rating: PG Oneshot, complete

The Old Guard

Nile - in progress! newest Nov 4 '24

A slice-of-life dive into the characters' lives, following Nile's 3rd-person POV. Set immediately after the end of the movie and will stretch a few decades into the future as Nile settles into her new life and we see a glimpse of how the guard adjusts to gains, losses, and life between harrowing conflicts. There will be a few nods to the graphic novels throughout but this is mostly my "what happens next" after immediately finishing the movie. Part 2 of 3 up now! Rating: We'll stick with the movie's R for language, canon-typical action/violence. AO3 link

Originals

Bravery - poetry prompt from @arianathepoet : Write about someone who taught you to be brave; what does bravery mean to you and how did that person teach you to embody it?

Collections

@pascalsanctuary fics of the day

WIPs and sneaky-peekies

Upcoming Joel Birthday Challenge ; and more ; another

I Won't Leave You

If Javi Calls ; and more

WIP Tag Game

Nile's Story from The Old Guard

TLOU Music AU

[holdinbacksecrets]

hii lovely, do you have any fic recs?

actually while we’re at it, your writings and the things you reblog are just beautiful, do you have any book recs too?

i have so many! and thank you for sharing kind words 🖤

my bts side blog is @sayeuphoria and my fic rec tags are ‘sticky feelings’ and ‘sweet like honey’

i’ll also make a little list of my favorite fics and ones i go back to regularly. the majority of these are 18+. mdni

also, please interact with fics you love. reblog them! reblog them with tags! reblog them with comments! send an ask or message to the author! but please reblog. you know how good it feels to take yourself out for a little treat? that’s how reblogs feel, and they make writers want to keep writing. it warms the hearts of writers to know someone was touched by our work, and a part of a piece that we’re really proud of ended up being someone’s favorite part of the fic. plus, don’t you want others to read your favorite pieces?? reblog to help people find them 🖤 it’s a potluck, and if you aren’t bringing a dish (which is totally fine), at least be willing to slice and serve some cake!

Rattled by @gukslut i first read this series over the summer of 2021, and i think about it on a weekly, sometimes daily basis. i reread it every six months. it’s an absolute gem, impeccably written. one of my favorite jungkook’s i’ve ever read

My feet to follow, and my heart to hold by @daechwitatamic i read this series as it was being posted last year, and i used to wake up so excited on the morning of a new chapter. this namjoon unleashed something in me, and i’ve been left craving love more than i used to. i love the presence of poetry too.

Guarded by @xjoonchildx this series was the first mafia au story i read and fucking loved. i’ve gone back to it so many times. i love the way hoseok’s perception of oc changes as the story progresses. oh so good and satisfying.

these blurbs by @darlingjoon tore me in half and stitched me back together

i’m a sucker for angst, and i love all the angst my lovely friend @taetaespeaches writes, especially for yoongi. perfection, but i’m going to drop some of my favorite titles of her fantastic, beautifully written work:

“i thought you left.” yoongi

“You know that I would ruin myself over and over again for you.” yoongi

“I didn’t think you’d care if I came back.” yoongi

“You’ve been my future since we were teenagers.” taehyung

“Let me hold you. Let me take care of you.” taehyung

“I may or may not have met someone.” taehyung

“You think I’d leave you if you falter?” jungkook

my @here2bbtstrash favorites:

deep end namjoon. this fic changed my life.

the shape of your body jimin

the spins jungkook

Love cafe by @chocosvt this jeonghan piece!!!!! AHHHHHHHH! the whole piece is amazing, but there were some scenes that were especially sweet and endearing. i remember sending a friend screenshots of dialogue freaking out.

i was so excited to share @by-moonflower-deactivated202401 bc their writing is incredible, piercing, and feels so nostalgic, but oh shit 😭😭 just learned they deactivated ☹️

book recs:

i’ve read almost everything by taylor jenkins reid, and i’ll recommend her books forever.

last year i read the book of azrael by amber v nicole and loved it. it’s a dark fantasy romance. i haven’t read the sequel yet.

this year, so far, i’ve read days at the morisaki bookshop. it’s a quick read but very sweet and comforting, with life lessons just beneath the surface. i’ve also read heavenly bodies by imani erriu. it had me screaming and kicking my feet. i posted about it here a few days ago. i’m reading the sequel right now.

dub finding ceremony by alexis pauline gumbs is a book i read my senior year of college, and it inspired a lot of writing for my independent studies prose class. braiding sweetgrass by robin wall kimmerer is another beautiful read.

[pencap]

Hey your poetry is so pretty and evoking and I've gotten back into practicing fiction writing in recent years but in my own criticism I don't think my prose is very evocative. It gets the job done and I think my stories are readable and enjoyable, but I don't think my descriptive language is particularly striking and I would like to improve on that! Sometimes I read and the author has used such creative brilliant metaphors and descriptors etc and it comes across as artistic genius. So, if you have any tips and time to share them I would love to hear about how you select your descriptors, if there's any advice you've heard before on this, etc. <3 feel like my brain simply can't come up with creative language after my decade long break lol

Hello, darling! Thank you for the kind words. I don't exactly have a formal process, but I can share some of what works for me.

The simplest, truest, and least fun advice I have is just this: practice. Practice, practice, practice. The more descriptive writing you do, the better you'll become at it. It's much easier said than done, I know--it's been months since I've posted anything here myself--but it's unfortunately true.

But beyond that, in terms of strategies, I have a couple. I think "evocative" can mean a lot of things, but it sounds like you're specifically thinking about description (as opposed to, say, emotionally evocative) so I'll focus on that. I'm gonna reference january 2nd a bunch, just for concrete examples.

Having a clear image to start with always helps. So when I wrote january 2nd, for example, I had a vivid mental image of an empty beach at dawn, practically abandoned 24 hours after thousands of people crowded together to watch the first sunrise of the year. The stretched out horizon, the dark blue twilight overhead and pale hazy dawn on the eastern edge, the shy peek of the topmost edge of the sun, the soothing ceaseless rush of the waves, the clear expanse and white-foam edges of the water, all of it. The loneliness of it, sure, but also the freedom of it. The quiet and the peace.

It also helps ot have a why. What are you trying to achieve with your description? Often in poetry I'm going for a specific emotional or visual effect, so I try to focus as much as I can on the pieces that resonate for that. In january 2nd, it was the horizon in particular. Nothing in the poem actually mentions a beach, even though that's part of my mental image, because the beach wasn't as important or effective. The sky and the horizon is what worked for the emotional tone, for me. Specifically their openness. Not the light, not the darkness, not the water, but being open, so that's what the first stanza revolves around.

If you're going for "fresh" / "interesting" / "unexpected" / etc. I like to play around with one of three things. One is transferring descriptors from one target to another. (In january 2nd, I take crowded from jostling people on the beach and transfer it to the horizon.) I think these are most fun when you take human(-adjacent) descriptors and put it on inanimate objects / the environment, but that's just my taste. Another trick is to try for hyphenates, which didn't come up in january 2nd. But two of my recent favourites are in Precious: sleep-warm and heartbeat-quiet. sleep-warm is about evoking both the cozy comfort of sleep and the warmth of holding a living, breathing animal in your hands. heartbeat-quiet is about both the volume and the intimacy and the repetitive rhythm of it. The thrid trick is simple and boring and exhilarating when it works, and that's playing around with synonyms. I remember sacred weight of the untouched being difficult. Is it sacred or precious or treasured or holy? Is it untouched or new or young or innocent or unsullied or pure? Try them out and pick the one that feels right, or at least feels the best.

Sometimes I'll think about sound, though not in janary 2nd. soothing ceaseless rush a few paragraphs ago was a deliberate sound-based choice, though. That repeated s-sound feels and sounds like waves. Sometimes I'll think about rhythm, although that's a bit more important in poetry than prose. Sometimes I'll think about length--of the overall description, of the specific phrase or sentence, of the words themselves. Rule of three feels good to me and you'll very often see me write things in triplets (young and fresh and new), frankly a bit more often than I wish I did. Short words can bring emphasis, or abruptness, or simplicity. Long descriptions can be more flowing, fluid, relaxed.

Almost every and any element of language can be leveraged for descriptive power. You'll rarely if every use all of them at once, but it's fun to try many of them out. Maybe you'll figure out versions that feel easiest or best for you.

Alright, I think that's long enough! If you had a specific line or poem in mind, I'm happy to break it down further. Caveat that some of the pieces on this blog are quite old and I might not entirely remember what went through my mind years and years ago, of course.

[topazadine]

Five Common Anxieties of Newbie Writers, Demystified

A simple post for today to address common concerns I have seen from younger writers over the years, which includes:

"Everyone else is so much better than me; I'm behind."

"I can't share my writing or someone will steal my idea."

"I am in direct competition with other writers; their gain is my loss."

"I shouldn't read while writing because it will ruin my unique voice."

"If I don't explain everything in meticulous detail, people won't understand my vision."

As always, this is my experience and my opinion as someone who has been writing seriously for about 15 years and reading, well, since I was a tiny baby. I also have several years of experience tutoring younger writers at both the K-12 and collegiate level.

Here goes!

1. "Everyone else is so much better than me; I'm behind."

You are not behind. Even if you start writing in your 60s, you are not behind. That's because there is no such thing as being behind in writing; you are where you are, and you'll only get further if you keep going.

Of course you're not going to write like Brandon Sanderson, or Tolkien, or Stephen King, or whoever when you're 20, because you're twenty. You just got out of high school two years ago and haven't even graduated college! These writers have decades on you and are naturally going to be better because they have had more time to learn.

Comparison is the thief of joy. You will not be happy if you are always comparing to yourself to every other writer and bemoaning your lack of experience.

As I have said multiple times throughout my blog, I encourage you to try to write 1 million words before you even think about publishing anything. Do fanfic, because then you can't publish it and you know you're just practicing. You will likely look back at where you started, with your first story, and go, "oh thank god I didn't try to publish that. I wasn't anywhere near ready."

And even then, you still will not be behind, because there's no one track toward success in publishing. You are just where you need to be right now, and you'll keep going where you need to go as long as you keep writing.

2. "I can't share my writing or someone will steal my idea."

I have seen a lot of this on writing subreddits. People will ask questions, but be intentionally vague about their plot because they are worried about someone else filching their idea and making it their own. However, they will refuse to share nearly anything useful, making it impossible to answer their question with any specificity.

Now yes, theft does happen. There was a horrendous story recently where an agent stole one of their author's ideas to give to another author, who then published faster because the agent had left Author 1 in Revision Hell on purpose. I'm not saying it never happens.

But the thing is that it is not the idea that makes any story special, it is the execution.

My Eirenic Verses series centers around poetry magic. That's the whole gimmick. But poetry magic has been done before to great effect by several other authors! There's a book called The Poet Empress out on sub that I'm hoping and praying will get published because I want to read it; everything about this story sounds AMAZING.

From the blurb, this book is vastly different from my own, which is a great thing. Both of us came up with this concept and took it in unique directions, giving readers more options for engage with poetry magic in completely different ways. And I love that!

Don't worry too much about people stealing your ideas. After all, your idea has been done dozens of times before already, even if you haven't been able to find an exact copy of the plot. We are all riffing off ancient plot forms and tales.

3. "I am in direct competition with other writers; their gain is my loss."

The joy of reading books is that you can read hundreds in a year if you want to. It is not like car sales, where people buy one single car every few years.

People buy books that they don't even intend to read; how many of us have dozens of books in our TBR pile that we'll probably never get to?

Yes, it's possible to lose out on competitions or publishing slots to other writers, but that is the nature of the economy, not the fault of any other writer. Placing yourself in opposition to a well-respected writer, especially one in your same niche, does you no favors.

Other writers are your peers, not your antagonists. No matter what you are writing, no one will do it quite like you, so you shouldn't worry if someone else's story is somewhat like yours. That just means that there is overlap between your audiences, and you should support them even more so that people like both of you.

The best way to be successful is to build community. People support those that they like and who are nice to them.

4. "I shouldn't read while writing because it will ruin my unique voice."

Your 'unique voice' is a mishmash of every other writer you have ever read because that is how learning works. You have absorbed the lessons of every other book you've put before your eyes (or into your ears), picked out what you liked, and left the rest. So yes, you do have a unique voice, but it is based on other writers, and the more you read, the more you refine that voice.

My favorite authors are Emile Zola, Willa Cather, Emily Dickinson, William Carlos Williams, Robert Frost, China Mieville, Terry Prachett, and Herman Melville. As a child, my favorite books were the Redwall series and The Unicorn Chronicles. My favorite nonfiction series is The Inspired Traveller's Guides by Sarah Baxter.

You can find all of those influences in my work, but you can also find dozens of other authors I have loved throughout my life. There are books that still haunt me today whose titles I can't even remember, just the concept or a specific scene.

My writing voice has become so strong because I like so many different kinds of writing and I have synthesized them all together. I learn something from every single book I read, even if it's just what not to do.

You can't become a strong writer if you don't read. It's essential to developing your voice. The more you read, the more you develop your voice, and the more that you can resist the urge to completely change your style based on what you are currently reading.

But you can only get to the point of having a strong, coherent voice by reading. So don't shy away from it.

5. "If I don't explain everything in meticulous detail, people won't understand my vision."

Here's a brutal truth: it doesn't matter whether other people see exactly what you see in your work. What matters is that they enjoyed what they saw. No one is going to have your exact same vision unless you turn your book into a movie.

Everyone's journey through a given book is influenced by their own life experiences. For example, if you asked a French person to describe a castle, they are going to say something completely different than what a Japanese person would say. What an Indian person envisions when you say "sword" is going to differ from what an English person thinks about. And that is fine and good!

You do not need to put your reader in a chokehold and make sure that they are seeing exactly what you see. This can be a huge turnoff to readers, especially if you do not present things in the proper order, because now they are constantly having to revise their setting with the new details you are providing.

Here, for example, is a description from my first book, 9 Years Yearning:

Every few steps, he ran across another example of a High Poet's work: ostentatious stone structures with smooth stucco sides, dramatic depictions of wild animals and fantastical beasts jutting from their surface. Others were more sculpture than home, tiny pebbles that slotted together to make a swirling mass of windows and doors. Goldnin, being one of the more well-heeled cities, had many wealthy merchants more than willing to spill quillim for a poetry-infused property.

Everyone who reads this is going to see different "wild animals" and "fantastical beasts." They are going to imagine the pebbles as different colors; maybe one person thinks they're all different shades that make gradations, while another wants them all to be tiny chips of quartz that sparkle in the sun.

I am fine with this. A story is a scaffold to allow readers to adorn with their own imagination, creating a personalized experience. I have given the reader some specific elements but left the rest vague so that they can envison what they want, and I'm okay with it not being exactly what I intended.

Once you have put a story out into the world, you're done interpreting it for the reader. It is now theirs to enjoy. They can do whatever they want with it, just like you can go buy something from the store and spraypaint it neon orange if you want to.

Your job is not to grab the reader by the face and tell them what you want them to see; it is to provide enough detail that they can see what they want to see. Giving up ownership like this allows you to make a story that isn't oversaturated with detail but still enables readers to have fun with it.

I hope this helped to ease some of your fears about writing. The most important part is to have fun, relax, and continue to learn all the time!

If you enjoyed this, maybe you will consider purchasing my book, 9 Years Yearning! This gay coming-of-age romance follows two boys in a military academy as they learn the arts of love and war. It includes poetry magic, strong sibling bonds, and all the awkwardness that young romance entails.

[colleybri]

Answer the questions and tag 5 Fanfic Authors

Tagged by @mosylufanfic :)

1. How did you get into writing fanfiction?

I’m relatively unusual here, I think, in that whilst I’ve been writing it since my teens I have had a good twenty year break up until a few months ago. Years ago, I just started writing it for my own pleasure - certainly no internet or easy ways to share it back then. More recently, I can attribute my return to one thing and one thing only: my love of the series Andor. An obsession that came out of nowhere in September 2023 when I watched it for the first time and it resonated with me in a way nothing has come close to in quite some time. After several months of writing various analyses of it I felt the urge to get creative.

2. How many fandoms have you written in?

Not many - most recently, Andor - obviously - and with the obvious overlap of Rogue One. Going back: I started out on E.T. (early teens then so that will date me accordingly :) ) - moving on to Aliens, The Silence of the Lambs and The X Files. Some novels then too: Narnia and Clive Barker, notably.

3. How many years have you been writing fanfiction?

As above, really. I’m in my mid 50s now - which I imagine makes me one of the older ones here. I dabbled most recently in the late 90s, with The Phantom Menace slashfics that were hugely popular back then - one of my friends was a superb writer (her stories were considerably better than the film itself ) and absolutely churned them out on whatever forums were around. They were a wholly new thing to me and I hadn’t even seen the film, but I dabbled a bit anyway :)

4. Do you read or write more fanfiction?

I write more at the moment, but I’m gradually trying to catch up with the reading. I missed Andor when it was first released and therefore the glut of fics from that time. But I’m getting to know the writers I really like and rediscover my own interests, genre speaking, along the way.

5. What is one way you’ve improved as a writer?

It’s really hard to compare as I haven’t got much left hanging around from my earlier years, but I would say that with several decades of teaching Lit under my belt now I do care a lot more about characterisation than I ever used to. It used to be all about the plot. I’m finding myself very drawn to subtext-heavy dialogue, internal monologues, drabbles and even poetry - the last being something I never thought I’d touch with a barge pole. I’m not saying I’m any good, just that I enjoy the challenge. That’s the main thing, in fact. These days I’m happy to embrace a challenge rather than shy from it. 

6. What’s the weirdest topic you researched for a writing project?

That would be what human flesh tastes like. For a Silence of the Lambs fic, obviously. The answer is apparently “pork crossed with beef” so I guess a genuine ragu lasagne would scratch that particular itch if anyone’s curious. 

7. What’s your favorite type of comment to receive on your work?

At the moment, as I’m pretty much starting from scratch and trying to find readers, absolutely anything. Probably excluding ‘don’t give up the day job’. 

8. What’s the most fringe trope/topic you write about?

Probably the cannibalism thing. Though that’s no doubt more mainstream nowadays…. I haven’t even looked at all the Hannibal (tv series) fics out there. 

9. What is the hardest type of story for you to write?

Anything long - the longest thing I ever completed was a 250 page novel but I was 14 at the time and haven’t come close since. Haven’t the stamina these days. Same with reading – I prefer one shots.

10. What is the easiest type?

Missing scenes or scene commentaries - not so much easy as such but probably my favourite forms, so they come relatively easily once I really put my mind to them. I find analytical essays the easiest of all, if I know the text well, but that’s no doubt a teacher-thing. I’ve made myself a regular feature on the Reddit Andor sub, probably to the chagrin of some :)

11. Where do you do your writing? What platform? When?

Looking at other answers to this one, I’m a bit perplexed. I have an elderly iMac and write on that. Hell, I used to do everything in long hand. Thank God I learned to touch-type. I guess I use Googledocs when forced to use my laptop. I’m fortunate to be semi-retired, so I generally find the time.

12. What is something you’ve been too nervous/intimidated to write, but would love to write one day?

Something longer, I guess. Hard to tell. I was and am intimidated by Smutfics, but had a go at a challenge recently and was quite pleased with the result. Not something I’ll be writing often though - not the main event, anyway. Love the buildups, and there’s some really great erotica out there, but I do get pretty stuck using the same vocabulary if I’m not careful. I’ve done a few humorous variations and quite liked those too. I’m British, lived in Bath for many years so like to imagine Austen’s ironic take on sex scenes quite a bit. 

13. What made you choose your username?

Nothing very deep - it’s to do with where I live. I’m a keen birder and Colley is an old West Country (England) word for a blackbird. 

Apologies in advance for tagging you - I’m sure some or all of you have been ‘done’ already! I don’t know a huge range of writers yet and I’m new to Tumblr and Discord. Absolute social media dinosaur as I am. 

Tagging @beladonna02, @ceruleanphoenix7, @faceofpoe, @jake-and-amy-are-married, @vadercat

[savagewildnerness]

25 and 33!

Thank you for the asks!

25: Fave season and why?

This is actually a very difficult answer for me! Both as I don't hugely prefer one season over the other and as my experience of watching each season was really different!

I adored Anne Rice's Vampire Chronicles from a child and teen and was excited to hear the show was being made... but I am also always equally terrified when any thing I love is adapted.

Sidenote: I saw a play on stage - a production of Amadeus a few years ago, a film I'd watched obsessively as a child... and I was initially excited it was going to happen and booked (1) ticket... but when it got close I felt like "I don't want to go! I'm not excited anymore because what if I hate it and then I not only hate it but it ruins my memory of the film I loved?!" Anyway, I saw the play and adored it so much I ended up seeing it like 40 times or something, LOL... I still wish I had a time machine to experience that play live again now. They incorporated live musicians (not dead ones hahahahaha) on stage too and OH MY, HOW I FELT THE MUSIC ALONGSIDE THE EXQUISITE ACTING. Oh, how I sobbed and sobbed and sobbed even watching it for the 35th time!!! I share to compare...

So, with IWTV - I knew it was happening, but I didn't follow production of the show and I didn't follow when it aired in the US. Every so often I kept thinking *When is this show coming to my country, because I *do* want to watch it* and eventually it arrived in Autumn 2023...

But even then, I went into it, thinking "Maybe I'll hate it." My predominant feeling before watching was FEAR. Not excitement or curiosity. Fear.

Then, Lestat watched Louis as Louis pulled a blade and put it to Paul's throat and in that INSTANT I felt "THERE IS MY LESTAT!". I didn't even think it. I felt it in my blood and bones and soul. And what with wondrous Jacob too, I was sold. Like ugh - the church at the end of episode 1. The music. Oh MY! But I was way past the era of the initial online excitement or chat around the show. I just binged the whole series till episode 5. I actually then found episode 5 incredibly difficult... and it was worse because by episode 4 into 5 I had fallen so in love with the show and, since it wasn't too long ago, I can clearly remember myself sitting, watching episode 5 and getting to the end of it and thinking. Oh. It is RUINED. I do not even want to watch any more. And it was a few days before I could bring myself to watch the rest of the series.

Of course, I watched the rest of the series. But I actually needed to rewatch the whole series then one time, after a few week's break before I could truly enjoy episodes 6 and 7 in full. I really did find episode 5 in S1 that hard.

So, with S2 I'm obviously here with you all, utterly addicted! I watched in a very different way - able to discuss episodes afterwards and immediately process things with this wonderful community!

Hmm... I would say that I like both seasons relatively similarly, but for different reasons:

S1 - I think overall, the resonance of it as a whole works better for me, and obviously the delicious chemistry of Sam and Jacob; Lestat and Louis and the Romance of Louis' immortal turning, bookended with the Gothic Romance of Lestat's murder is Shakespearean exquisite beauty to be. And Lestat's speech on the balcony, speaking Anne Rice's words... I just adore it SO much. Like UGH. My heart - with Lestat knowing Louis plans to kill him, but not truly believing he will until the second it happens, because he could never do such to Louis and surely Louis can't either... but then of course he must and Lestat's acceptance of it as an act of love and mercy from Louis. Vibrate my soul!!

S2 - I just love the poetry of S2. The poetic writing in episode 1 and the music in E1 - the way S2 began was just so beautiful to me. I cried a lot more during S2, often as I found DreamStat unbearably moving and/or poignant (either in and of himself or in his relevance to and what he expressed from Louis... and in E1, towards Claudia.). The You & Me scene - scenes like this where there is such exquisite acting taking place without even the need for words to articulate it. Lestat's letter; when Dreamstat vanishes. Assad's Armand also often made me cry. In the Louvre! The ache at the heart of Armand wherein he has so much love to give truly, yet doesn't understand how to be loved or how to love and so this pure love instead twists into the most terrible, terrifying thing, like a knotted tree! Also S2E5. S2E5!!! OMG what perfect TV! And I adore in an abstract sense how utterly Anne Riceean that episode is, despite being mainly created for TV, with not that many of Anne's actual words in! (And I adore Jacob doing takedown of Lestat using Anne's words, especially that they used the bit that truly would wound Lestat most from the books - when he calls Lestat's playing emotionless!!!!!)

So in terms of emotion, I would give S2 the edge. In terms of overall arc, I would definitely say S1. I'm going to say it: I know a lot of people loved E7 & 8 the most in S2 and as you can tell by my 100-plus gifs, I adored the Loustat reunion... but The Trial didn't fully work for me. Which isn't a negative comment. It isn't that I didn't like it. There's just so much I don't understand about it. Which is fine - Louis doesn't understand the trial in IWTV... yet there is more feeling to The Trial in the book of IWTV from what he sees in Lestat - things he hasn't described before... Whereas here - I don't understand fully why or how Lestat is in Paris; how much is his own free will (before and after the trial); I don't fully understand Armand's feelings and motivations and desires. I don't understand what, if anything has gone on between Armand and Lestat. I don't fully understand Lestat and Armand's feelings or motivations or drives and so then it is hard to fully feel from it all. I also thought we'd get a lot more answers regarding memory with all the memory is a monster hints and it felt like all that was opening up in S2E5 only to... just not really happen much more or go anywhere big enough for me after that...?!

Yeah... a super-long answer to this question, in which I didn't really answer the question...

What do you all think/feel? I'm curious!

33: Any hobbies?

Well I guess I use music in my work, so we can't call it a hobby, but I have never done any personally creative thing with music and do not in any way consider myself a musician, so I do love to try to be creative musically, alone, as a hobby if I can drag myself from the pit of *you are an awful human who ought not exist* I obviously love film and TV and I love going to the theatre. I love to read. I used to be a dancer, aged 3-18. I really miss that. I don't dance now. I did ballet, tap, jazz, contemporary, Romanian, modern and Scottish dancing!

I actually think there is something to be said for doing hobbies you are terrible at though! Then you can try to find the joy in a thing as you did when you were a child, with zero expectation, as you still have the skill level of a child too! I did like to draw as a little child (only till age 8-ish and that's where my skill-level ended) but I always hated painting, even in school. I was scared of paint and how you can't control it! Sometimes, now though, I find it fun to paint. There's no expectation as it isn't something I can do. But I really recommend to anyone to try a hobby you're terrible at - it can be freeing.

Pretty embarrassing to share this when there are so many actual INCREDIBLE artists on Tumblr (I am in awe of you all), but I'll share it in order to truly show you I cannot art and also to say - do these things - it can be the truest escape. Like, if I try to create music, I know enough to know how terrible what I am doing is. But I know I am terrible at art and that is FINE! It's just for fun!

Say hello to my wee ghost in the sky friend! This was actually inspired by the film A Ghost Story. Actually, you know, Daniel Hart is the creative involved in Interview with the Vampire whose work I have known the longest! I first heard (& ADORED!) his music in the film Ain't Them Bodies Saints.

Anyway, that's more than anyone ever wanted to read on these two questions, I'm sure!!!

[kiisuuumii]

@kiisuuumii's writerly questionnaire !

thank you @lead-to-code for tagging (ily kara <33)

i'd love to see yall's answers (only if you'd like to share of course !) @noahsbong @yearning-rambles @thesorcererpoet

about me:

1. when did you first start writing?

i was maybe between seven and nine ? to be honest, i can't really remember when it was, but i remember the first few things i wrote were story quizzes on a (now gone </3) website called quizilla (it was naruto rp....................)

2. are the genres/themes you enjoy reading different from the ones you write?

not really, now that i actually think about it ! ive always been the type of writer that only liked writing angst, and even outside of writing (fan) fiction (which tbh i dont do very much of anymore), so much of my poetry either comes from heavy emotion or features it so sdghjksd

3. is there an author (or just a fellow writer!) you want to emulate, or one to whom you're often compared?

theres one mutual, actually, who i actually wished i could write more like. in a very self-deprecating way, but ive since become very comfortable, and maybe even happy (!), with my style of writing ! so, no, i'm not really looking to emulate anyone in particular, and no one's ever made a comparison between my work and someone else's so no to that one too :0

4. can you tell me a little about your writing space(s)? (room, coffee shop, desk, etc)

i usually write on my phone, in the notes app or in my drafts here ! and ill usually only write in a (head) space where i can really think, undisturbed, for at least 30-45 mins. so i'll usually be out in my backyard under one of my calamansi trees ! though, lately, ive been occasionally writing at my desk on desktop tumblr :>

5. what's your most effective way to muster up some muse?

fall in love with someone

once i start thinking about how everything around me is alive, i start remembering that i, too, am apart of nature—a lucky enough set of sequenced mutations, to make me—just a eating, breathing, shitting animal. how lucky this set of mutations is to take it all in, the emeralds in the trees, and the beat of a chipmunk's heart, how scared we all are.

that or love

6. did the place(s) you grew up in influence the people and places you write about?

people, no, but places, yes. i grew up for most of my childhood in the desert, and i have /always/ hated summers, because i'm kinda heat sensitive, and i sweat easily, and i hate it i hate i hate it djhks

but, a year ago, i moved back home, and, honestly, since being back home, ive come to appreciate the desert a bit more sgkjds i used to think they were ugly and uninteresting, but there's so much more there if you look a bit harder imo

7. are there any recurring themes in your writing, and if so, do they surprise you at all?

honestly !! i think there are plenty obvious ones, but i really wanna talk about /the lack of/ sexual themes in my work !! i wanna write more sexetry or whatever, but it feels really embarrassing to sdghks i really like writing them too, but again !! it just feels embarrassing !! ;w;

my characters:

1. would you please tell me about your current favourite character? (current wip, post wip, never used, etc)

not to copy of kara dskjfs but i love my first (and my current) d&d chara !! her name is maeve umerie, and shes a drow wild magic sorcerer / (planned artillerist) artificer !! shes so packed full of trauma and self-harming behaviors and addictions that i dont even know where to start <33 (i promise i love her i would actually be so devastated if she died before i could give her a proper happy ending </3)

2. which of your characters do you think you'd be friends with in real life?

i have this fantasy novel thought that ive floated in my head since maybe september-october of last year, and, in it, i have a character named levin hel, and AUGH hes just a sweetie :^( hes the son of a blacksmith-gunsmith duo who know a thing or two about magic, and is the apprentice to the son of the wizard who saved his life (who's name is nox, and he's an asshole ! but also i love him so much ;v;)

i need go go back to all my notes and stuff on it, bc i invested A LOT of time worldbuilding for it, but yea levin's a very kindhearted person, very much wanting to be like nox's father :'''^) </3

3. which of your characters would you dislike the most if you met them?

i would absolutely hate to meet maeve mother. she's horribly self-serving and emotionally manipulative. she rules the house with an iron fist, and anything less than the best is worthless. she uses everything at her disposal to get what she wants, family or not.

4. tell me about the process of coming up with one, all, or any of your characters.

im ngl most if not all of my characters are just bits and pieces of me and my wants in different aus >_> .................................

5. do you notice any recurring themes/traits among your characters?

family and/or religious trauma mhm yep

6. how do you picture them? (as real people you imagined, as models/actors who exist in real life, as imaginary artwork, as artwork you made or commissioned, anime style, etc)

for my fantasy wip, i imagine imaginary artwork, but for maeve, i have pieces i've drawn and pieces i've commissioned of her !! id love to someday get pieces of her family and other major characters in her past commissioned :>

my writing:

1. what's your reason for writing?

i will say that it's changed over the years. as a kid, and up until college, i've wanted to always be a story-teller. but, lately, i dont really have a reason for writing, other than to satisfy the thing that lives inside me that wants to write :^)

2. is there a specific comment or type of comment you find particular motivating coming from your readers?

knowing other people's reactions, getting to hear how something made them feel emotionally, or physically, or if there was a particular thought or memory that came to mind. i love knowing what people see, what my work makes people see, if anything.

that or if theres something, a word choice, or a line, that you thought was clever or struck you !!! i always love knowing people's thoughts !!!

3. how do you want to be thought of by those who read your work? (for example: as a literary genius, or as a writer who "gets" the human condition; as a talented world builder, as a role model, etc)

i want to be thought of just as another person, honestly. someone who had very human emotions, and did the only thing she knew how to do.

4. what do you feel is your greatest strength as a writer?

uhhhhh im ngl i think this is also my greatest weakness but i have a tedium to my world-building, in that i need history-book-level details of my worlds or i will die (like i drew my own map. i drew a fucking map of an entire contiment)

5. what have you been frequently told your greatest writing strength is by others?

yk,,,,, no ones given me a whole lot of specifics so im not sure,,,,,

6. how do you feel about your own writing? (answer in whatever way you interpret this question)

i said it before, but im pretty content at the moment with my poetry. though with prose, i think i could probably improve a bit sdgjksg

7. if you were the last person on earth and knew your writing would never be read by another human, would you still write?

uh yeah !!!! i write and record voice memos in my journal fully knowing no one will ever read it or listen back right now as it is so !!!!

8. when you write, are you influenced by what others might enjoy reading, or do you write purely what you enjoy? if it's a mix of the two, which holds most influence?

i gotta be honest, writing is a selfish act for me. i write because i want to, in ways that tickle my fancy dgkjds

it really is almost like an instinct for me

[gege-wondering-around]

I hope your world is a happy one at the moment! 🩵I was wondering: what are some of the things that never fail to make you smile?

Hi darling, so sorry it took me so long to answer you! hope you are having an amazing day!💗

I've been thinking about your question since it first caught my eyes a few days ago and between thinking about the answe and dancing between drivers ed and working on my WIP i got lost in time!

Anyway!

my WIPs:

Something that never fails to make me smile are surely my WIPs! Ant time i work on them (rn only on one of'em) i get so happy with myself!

I have a very horrible memory so whenever i re-read something i wrote even a week ago, i don't remeber much of it and i get always surprised by what i wrote and by how much i like it (it's also the reason why sometimes i read the same fics without even noticing it till the end!)

I was always the kinda person who preferred to write than to speak, so I've been writing (poetry, little scenes without any connections, little works maybe never finished from when i was in middle school, and my WIPs now) for basically all my life! the major reason of why i started writing a while back was to express myself, my pain and my thoughts while i was going through a hard time in my life, but now I got to enjoy this as a way of being alive and it brightens my day to be able to write such wonderful things (I'll post a fic soon, so i promise there'll be some ground for this info in a little while).

here's a little thing i wrote in my latest fic (coming soon probably)

So, I basically love writing! I also learned english because i like writing and i never like writing in my native language...

my cat:

big old boy here is my good old pal Bounty! (nobody calls him that, but whatever ahah)

He is clumsy, fat, friendly, a ball of fur and a basic dork! He loves nothing more than to give and recieve love and he has an obsession with his food (he meows as loudly as possible when he wanna eat) and he has been by my side for 8 years now, from when i first got down a bad road to now (where i'm all better) and he has never left me!

Kindness:

It's not very tangible but it just makes me glad to have fought so i'm able to witness how kind people can be! It reminds me the world isn't just cruel and unfair, but it can be kind and caring especially when we are towards each other!

and to give you an example of kindness, i'll bring out a passion of mine i dont really talk about here...

big old pal here comes from an anime called Trigun, his name is Vash.

buddy had no other goal than to be kind to everyone in every way possible despite everyone was against him cause they thought he was the bad guy cause he was different than them (let's say, he is the personification of what keeps humanity going in the show) and buddy here wanted nothing more than to help and despite carrrying this huge big boy here

he didn't use to shot to anyone, his aim was always towards the bad guys' weapons to make them drop 'em and his air the excellent!

to me, old pal above is one of the many examples of kindness i can think about but i think i can give you another we are both familiar with...

(from pinterest)

i mean, if he isn't a symbol of kindness without pulling in any "big ones" of kindness (and by this i mean a more popular person), i don't know what else to say...

my spotify playlist of the moment:

just love these songs and i just sing them all day

and here they are!

those never fails to make me smile!

hope you're having an amazing day and im about to run to your ask box to ask the same cause im too curious now to know your answer to this🫂✨

forgive any typos <3

[neewtmas]

24 days of Appreciation

DAY 2

Welcome to the second day of appreciation this month, where we shine a spotlight each day on those we appreciate in this fandom!

If you want to submit someone or something (for more info read here), you can do so here or just message me! If you wanna stay anonymous, either tell me or submit on anon.

Appreciation from me:

Today, I wanna appreciate @waitingforthesunrise, who might just be the absolut sweetest person in this entire fandom (case in point: the ask you sent me asking to submit me🥹). Your positivity is unmatched, and your presence is light and warmth, the sunrise personified basically. You were so very nice to me when I joined this fandom and made me feel welcome even though I really struggle to build friendships, online just as much as irl. I always read your poetry, even though poetry is not really my thing, but I admire you so much for being able to write it so beautifully. The poem you wrote for me some months ago? That still hangs on my picture wall. Also, remember the one time you made fanart for my locklyle fic??? Literal best thing ever. And now I always think of you when I see a pretty sunrise/sunset. ILY🧡🧡

Appreciation from others (submissions):

from @novelizt: Hi, I'm Liz! Since this season is all about sharing, I'd like to share my appreciation for a few people that made this fandom feel like family to me. I'm not really sure if there's a limit to how many people I can mention, but the list is long so I'll stick to my ride or dies First of all, @tangledinlove who made me fall in love with Anthony Lockwood. Your kindness basically cemented my place in this crazy family. You're the loveliest, and I always round back to reading your fics when I need a pick-me-up. Your words are forever tattooed into my brain. On top of that, you are one of my favorite persons I've met on this app, and I hope you know how much I appreciate you. Next, @kiyasoup and @avdioblisss who I basically share braincells with. Any notif from y'all means my day will be good. I don't know what else to say other than I love you and I hope all your dream come true 💙 Also, @mitskiswift99 who always makes me blush and sob and shriek. If I had the power to teleport and hug you, I would! My Swiftie soulmate, I love you dearly 💙 Last, but definitely not least, the feeders of my delusions, @lewkwoodnco @bella-rose29 @ukulelevillainwrites and @atlabeth !! I used to read your fics and think "damn, they're so cool" and now we're moots jsnhs Some days, I still feel like I'm dreaming. Your fics are my fuel for life. Please keep doing what you're doing. 70 years from now, I'll still be reblogging your works 💙 Yeesh, I really don't know how to keep things short. I just have a lot of love for this fandom, and I hope everyone enjoys their holidays. Lots of love &lt;3

Show your appreciation and submit someone or something here :)