#i used to adopt many friends like this bc i wanted to help everybody

[teddytoroa]

lrt to be honest now if i meet someone and they're extremely self loathing i just dont foster that relationship and avoid them. And i left all my friends that did that over the years and now only befriend folks who are like...at least trying to be better. if you're depressed im sorry but we're all fucking depressed and traumatized and just trying to make it through and sometimes that means not adopting relationships with people who are going to make our lives worse. yes thats maybe cruel but like. if someone is just a huge downer all the time why the hell would i want to spend time with them. its different ofc if its a friend who wasnt like that who then falls into that behavior bc then somethings Up, but if i meet someone new and they just talk about hating themselves all the time and act extremely traumatized and panicked and people pleasery its like. annoying. i dont have the ability to help these people and if i get involved im just gonna end up drained and miserable. sorry your life sucks but im not dealing with that. adios.

[batarangsoundsdumb]

guess fucking what? my inbox is so fucking full right now i'm unloading all of this shit in one post.

For the 11th gotham memes: gothamites react to bruce being jacked in a tiktok he made with kids, like super yoked, ripped as hell

fucking hilarious thanks. i think i did it in one meme post, but i genuinely don't remember which one

i dunno which of the batfam would do this but one time i was sleeping over at a friends house and ended up on the floor bc the bed was so very small and i just stayed there because the rug was soft

that's a drunk jason move i don't know what to tell you

tim and jason are "i listen to pop punk" solidarity. whenever jason highjacks the batmobile theyll go on long ass car rides blaring mcr and paramore and then never talk about it again

as they should!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! tim: no jason it's my turn using the aux cord i gotta put on my jams jason: don't you dare put on weird shit tim: don't worry, you're gonna love this *plays fearless (taylor's version)

hear me out hear me out, red hood stans 🤝 nightwing stans t h i g h s

holy shit yes.

SNL au: Bruce breaks character when pretending to superman and says something like "I'm not superman! You've seen his gps!! It's from 2001!!!" @sabeanybabe

superman flies past the snl building the next day just to say 'actually it's from 2005, i'm not a heathen'

does your back hurt from carrying the batfam fandom

it hurts more from the exotic rock collection i keep in my backpack, but thanks for the concern.

I love your posts by why would you always leave the best parts in the tags?

as a treat for the people that check the tags ;) (and also because i'm committed to the short post aesthetic)

somehow your playlist was everything i never knew i needed. i mean it. this is my new favorite playlist.

and don't you dare get a new favourite playlist!

babe ur stoner tim playlist is exactly too perfect, earth is literally blessed by ur existence

babe thanks so much! i love my stoner tim playlist because it's just my usual playlist but people think it's an artistic choice that i put taylor swift and britney spears in there, when it's just what i unironically like listening to

JANDKSKDK BILLY RAY CYRUS ON THE STONER TIM PLAYLIST I LOVE IT IT

again it's not even an ironic choice, i know every single word and i genuinely like the song

The last chapter of Fundamentals of Casework has me crying at work. Thanks I love it @dudelookitsalesbian

oh babe, i'm sorry, but also, not sorry i love chapter 4 so much it's my lovechild with the 'mental illness' tag

soooo....stumbled on your tumblr by some stroke of fate??? read your DC fanfic first. which is PHENOMENAL btw. then found all the batmemes; the funniest thing EVER bc everyone forgets about regular old gothamites. kept scrolling and your blog pops up as recommended. clicked on the ao3 for shits and giggles and waddaya know?!?!? it's YOU!!! you're LEGEND!!!! ever seen that meme? it's a video of a cat that got into a baseball field and the two announcers get really invested in his escape attempt and start giving a play by play of the cat instead of the game. memeable moment: "GREAT stuff from the Cat!!!"

i seriously think about this ask every single day and it's so fucking funny to me that i've never seen the meme you're referencing, but i still find myself going 'GREAT stuff from the Cat!!!' whenever i see something funny. but wow i'm glad you liked this steaming pile of garbage

Fav dc character overall? And fav batfamily character?

don't ask me to pick between the loves of my life, but i can tell you i've cried about every single batfamily member and also wally west (my beloved)

What's your opinion on fans having a problem with batfam being "too big"? And some even claim that batfam is just "Bruce Alfred Dick Damian" and the rest of them are just "friends and allies" (source: reddit) Personally, I like batfam because of this reason but idk

stupid. a family can never be too big. i'm not that big a fan of like huge batfam stuff with everybody from every single universe, because as much as it's funny for bruce to have like 30 kids, it just feels a little too OOC for me.

This is the best tag I've seen involving the batfam, thanks for thinking of it

This is canon now @nctxrejects

lmao yeah i think at that point alfred has had to sit through like at least a dozen coming out talks and just has a pride flag collection in the attic that he pulls out whenever a kid comes out

idk why batfam hits different as compared to any other superhero family

bc it's found family and usually the other superhero families are almost all genetically related in one way or another

I don't know if you watch the umbrella academy but I saw your last post about batcest and saw the similarities. But the thing is (although I think it's weird) in TUA, they addressed it by saying "they were raised as weapons, not siblings" or something along those lines, which is simply not the case with batfam.

yeah i watched tua but i also thought it was ridiculous and they still treated each other as siblings so i didn't like the luthor/allison thing, and am glad they stopped doing that shit bc it fucking sucked.

Hot take: Batcest shippers are the same people who believe adopted siblings are not actual siblings

smoking hot take: batcest shippers are the people who watch 'my sister got stuck in the washing machine' porn

Duke was adopted by Bruce?

not technically no, but do i, tumblr user batarangsoundsdumb, look like i care?

True story but I had to change my freaking name because it used to be "Damien" and most people would go "OH LIKE DAMIAN WAYNE" like please I'm just tryna live

true story, but i don't actually think of damian when i hear the name damian, literally the first thing that pops up is damian darkh like bruh what?

apparently dc comics company supported comic stores by giving out new titles and stuff during the beginning of the pandemic to help them run and I just think that's wholesome

ah yeah that's so fucking cool, still don't like dc, the company, because this world is a capitalist hellhole and we're all owned by warner brothers or disney with no in between.

ayo looking at tumblr head canons and finding out bruce is actually a terrible father is a punch in the gut

lmao yes, in like 50% of comics bruce is a terrible father and it gives me whiplash

oooh I just saw the jason todd vs winter soldier post and the real question is: batman vs iron man

while iron man has like hundreds of cases of armor, batman could throw out an emp and have the guy dropping out of the sky in 2 seconds.

dickfast = fastdick = quickdick = quickie

magnum hot take

hey bata(?) just thought I'd let you know I have copied the obnoxious emoji and Billy Ray post for use on simping men going forth

thank you 😘🌷 (@spacebarsidecar)

why would you do that to your followers???? i get why i did it, but why would you???

what is scarecrow made the nightwing funko pop himself, like those diy-ers that paint over other ones

oh god no, horrible take, horrible take, that's a disgusting thought oh no

I see your HC that Bruce and Oliver fucked and raise you this: Dick and Roy ALSO fucked

yes they did and it was a horrible moment for jason to find out dick has fucked both of his best friends

"at this rate bruce adds like 1 child to his family every decade or so" Duke is introduced in 2013, Damian as Damian, not as an unnamed child, in 2006. And he is already 14 years old, Robins rarely remain Robins after 16 😬 It looks like a new Robin and Batkid will appear in a couple of years

i mean i can't wait? but somebody will probably die first tho, we're due for another major character death. my money's on either cass or duke this time.

BRO you're so right all of your Bruce's ex headcanons are amazing but they aren't ships, that's kinda wild. Like I don't want any peeks into how their relationship was I just want to see everyone make fun of them

lmao YES it's just i love bruce being a slut, like good for him.

I am in love with your posts your honour thank you

omg thanks are we like,, gonna kiss now?

The justice league needs to have a meeting to discuss how many of their members/partners have slept with bruce. Because through a combination of cannon & fannon (if DC wasn’t homophobic) we have AT LEAST: 1) clark 2) lois 3) oliver 4) dinah 5) john

Thats not counting villains or random civilians @dudelookitsalesbian

yes yes yes, they'll have a yearly meeting about how many of their collective exes could be out for revenge and batman's list just keeps getting longer.

tim was like "i'm drake now" and everyone was like ahh so your fursona is a dragon and tim was like pffffft no. ducks.

and what about it?

when steph's fighting livewire and she zaps her with lighting and nothing happens and then they both just. stand there awkwardly for a second and talk. yeah i couldn't stop laughing at that batgirl steph is the BEST

oh yeah that was fucking hilarious and i think it would be so cool and sexy of dc to give steph a little comic series,,, as a treat

Hi I absolutely adore all of yours "Bruce and Oliver very badly pretending they didn't fuck each other" memes

lmao i do too

I need you to know that “Bruce Wayne had frosted tips” is one of my favorite Bruce takes of all time it’s so galaxy brained. you’re right and you should say it

he also painted his hair blonde once when he was travelling and in conclusion, this is why he's being blackmailed by the gotham gazette.

you know my thing about gordon being branded as the only good cop in gotham is its a load of shit like arguably he's a good person and not working to screw people over or anything but the fact that he also works w. batman makes him a shit cop. like yea batman is better than the mob but its still illegal its still an abuse of power he just not making bank

babe, all cops are bad cops. (but yeah youre absolutely right, working with vigilantes makes you a shit cop, but also working against vigilantes just makes you an asshole cop yanno?)

ruh roh i think i’m about to add “so not yeehaw” every time i don’t like something

that's a very good vocabulary upgrade

somehow i feel like steph already knew. like babs obviously knew but i feel like bruce got high/drunk in front of steph and started telling his boarding school stories and steph was just like “oh you fucked up i’m never gonna forget this”

steph and bruce have weird uncle/rebellious niece dynamic and they just hang out sometimes and bruce will be like 'i once broke my arm when i tripped over a hedge when i was drunk so oliver drove me to the hospital on an electric scooter' and steph will just have to sit there with that knowledge in her head.

Hello I just wanted to tell you you are So right in all your steph opinions bc she is, in fact amazing and I think that's very sexy of you. Ps. Your Bruce/Oliver fic is hilarious

babe, thank you so much and yes steph is amazing and i love her and she deserves the world and she's the best member of the batfam hands down. also thanks

In Supersons we see a couple of kids that are implied to be Damian and Jon's children and the boy has laser eyes and can fly, so I asume he's not adopted. The girl, who calls Bruce grandpa, can also fly, btw. So it's canon (probably by accident) that Jon can have kids and he must have married one of Bruce's kids. (I'm hoping for Damian, mostly because any other of his children would be waaaaaaaaaaaaay too old.) @artemisa97

lmao that was probably an accident seeing as jon is a 17 year old superhero in the year 3000 (by the jonas brothers)

You know, I'm a die hard fan of your memes, but I gotta say one thing: if Gothamites actually took gas mask everywhere with them, then the Scarecrow would just be a weird dude in a weird costume, and not a villain oh so scary. DC really should just takes notes from you.

bold of you to assume there's no gothamite anti-maskers

How does it feel being the funniest person on this app?

horrible, next question.

I can't listen to Green Day or Billy Joel without thinking of your post about how Bruce got arrested at a Billy Joel concert @nightwings-kid

yeah that's your mistake, i on the other hand can't enjoy billy joel without thinking about the glee rendition of 'uptown girl'

I've FINALLY been watching the Batman animated series and I gotta say, after watching "the gray ghost" I am CONVINCED that Batman is a closeted super hero geek who was 100% freaking out the first time he met Superman and is just REALLY good at hiding it.

superman: so what do you do in your free time? batman, thinking about the superman fanfiction he's writing on the batcomputer: i have no free time

bruce and oliver be like boyfriends to co-workers 401k (do the justice leagues get 401ks??? not that bruce and ollie would need them, but-)

lmao yes just 400 thousand words of bruce realising 'oh dip oliver is such a fucking dumbass' (also i don't know what a 401 k is but i assume they don't?)

Gothamites would totally boo superman as he saves Gotham while batman is out. @meenje

he's like 'okay think about that next time you want to be saved from an alien octopus'

I just took long break from dc comics and I come back to see ric grayson ??

i think it's very cool and sexy of dc to see dick and just think 'you know what? let's just give him a traumatic brain injury' and then didn't develop his character in any real way

SPEAKING OF RIC GRAYSON, gothamites making confused memes out of ric grayson is much needed

'dick grayson is my taxi driver? can anyone explain what the fuck happened he looks like an italian plumber?'

i hate to say it but batfam are def "marvel characters" in that sense they are characters who are human but become superheroes unlike most dc characters who are gods trying to be human maybe this is why I like batfam

fair enough

[manunelle]

{Ikerev} How many kids would they have? {Headcanon}

I’m kind of creating this post to organize my thoughts, because I want to write more about this in another post where I’ll write about how they are with their children and how I imagine their personalities. Please be aware that I imagine a different MC for each suitor, so the kids exist in the same universe lol

🖤 Black Army 🖤 

Ray Blackwell

One boy.

He was adopted by Ray and MC at age of 3. His father was one of Ray’s soldier who unfortunately passed away in duty. Since he had no mother or relatives that could take care of them, MC and Ray took him in. 

He prefers MC over Ray, but admires his dad very much!

Sirius Oswald

oh boy

This man and MC had 5 children! :) 

I kind of enjoy the thought of Sirius retiring because he wants to spend as much time as he can with his family. 

They have three girls and two boys. The order goes like this: Girl ---> Twins (boy and girl) ---> Boy ---> Girl. 

Would name his kids after flowers. 

The kids get along very well! They are really protective of each other and of their parents.

Luka Clemence

One boy as well. 

His kid is really sweet! He’s really friendly and everybody loves him at school. 

Is kind of a younger brother to Jonah’s girls. 

Talking about Jonah, he’s the best uncle ever. Always brings gifts and gives advices about anything that is troubling the boy. 

He’s doesn’t have a favorite parent. He’s close to both!

Fenrir Gospeed

Had two kids, a son and a daughterl. 

The firstborn is the boy, and the girl is six years younger. 

To his and MC’s surprise, the boy is a magic user! They discovered it when MC was bathing her baby when suddenly he started floating and giggling around. Imagine Fenrir and MC screaming and jumping around, trying to reach their son, who is having the time of his life. 

The girl is not a magic user, so she causes less trouble than her brother. She’s friends with Ray’s son.

Seth Hyde

One girl.

She has Seth’s hair and MC’s eyes, and likes to dress cute clothes and to play with her teddy bear. 

She’s reeeeaaaally shy. :< 

She probably prefers Seth over MC, but she doesn’t make it obvious. Of course, she likes her mother very much as well. But Seth’s hugs are something else. :> 

❤️ Red Army ❤️ 

Lancelot Kingsley

The next King of Hearts is a girl! 

She looks mostly like Lancelot, but her hair shape resembles MC’s. 

She’s really carismatic and smart, which means that she can hold a conversation with an adult without difficulties. 

She’s a friendly and curious little girl, always asking about how and why things work the way they do. 

As a magic user, she’s really interested in Harr’s work and gets along well with his daughter. 

Loves her dad! She looks up to him a lot and is not embarassed of asking him for advices and hugs.

Jonah Clemence

Our queen has two daughters. 

They are only 2 years apart, so they get along very well with each other. 

Honestly, they have Jonah completely wrapped around their little fingers. This man would go to the fucking moon if they wanted something from there. 

Despite being spoiled rotten, the girls are really gentle and caring with those around them. thank u so much mc

Because the younger sister is shyer, Jonah teaches his firstborn from a young age that she should always be nice and take care of her younger sister. 

They love baking! Imagine the MC and her two daughter baking cookies on the kitchen to present the man of their lives later. ;A; so cute

Edgar Bright

Edgar has one girl and one boy. 

Due to her fragile health, his daughter, the firstborn, won’t be able to become the next Jack of Hearts. She always smiles and says that it doesn’t bother her, but she gets self concious when hearing adults commenting about it. She also feels bad for passing the burden of being the heir to her younger brother. 

The boy is calm and serious, which is kind of weird bc his face looks way too much with MC’s. He’s really protective of his parents and his sister. Loves animals, just like his dad! He’s smart and strong, but is really aloof. MC and Edgar are always worried about him bc he doesn’t seem to want friends. 

The girl is bffs with Lancelot’s daughter and Kyle’s son.

Zero

One daughter! 

She has MC’s hair and his eyes. She’s really pretty! 

She’s friendly and is always smiling. Since she’s younger than the other kids of the Red Army (Kyle’s second son is actually the youngest, but he is still a baby lol), they kind of treat her as a young sister, always hugging and patting her head. 

She’s really curious around everything. Actually, her personality resembles Lancelot’s daughter’s a lot. 

Loves watching her father training with the soldiers! At the end of every session, she goes running towards him demanding hugs.

Kyle Ash

Two boys. They have an age gap of 12 years.

His firstborn had a really fragile health as a child, to the point of having to take constant shots and Kyle having to perform different treatments on his child. Seeing their child suffer was really difficult for Kyle and MC, and at some point they even thought that he wouldn’t survive childhood. However, aroung age 8, the signs of this disease started decreasing and he got better. 

Kyle is still worried about his son, so he always keeps a close watch on him to see if those symptons will come back someday. 

Because they were always busy taking care of their older son, MC and Kyle decided to not have other children. So it was a big surprise when they discovered MC’s second pregnancy. 

Surprisingly, their second son has no health problems. As a baby, he’s really serious and likes to nap a lot. 

Both boys look a lot like Kyle. The older one looks the most, while the younger has MC’s eyes. 

Mousse Atlas

Has one son. 

The boy is a MC’s appearence copy with Mousse’s personalit copy. 

Just like his dad, loves napping. 

Naps everywhere. 

Everywhere. 

Once, when dusting some shelves, Luka found him sleeping in the Black Army’s library. 

How in the hell did this kid get here? 

He always goes missing. Like, at one moment he’s standing right next do MC and in the next second he disappears. Dude??? 

Actually, he’s a magic user, which explains him disappearing all the time and reaching things that are in a place way higher than him. However, he doesn’t tell it to his parent until he’s sixteen bc he’s afraid of disappointing them (bc he heard from some idiot that magic users are way too dangerous).

💚 Neutral 💚 

Harr Silver

He has one daughter. 

She has his hair and MC’s eyes. 

Since she’s a magic user, she and Harr are always excitingly talking about magic books and researchs. He also teaches her about spells and skills unrelated to magic, such as cooking and fishing. 

She’s really shy, and because kids used to bully her at school and adults ignored the situation, she has a really hard time socializing with people that are not her family.

Loves cats! As a toddler, Loki gave her a cat plushie and she is really attached to it. 

Gets along with Sirius’s oldest daughter and Lancelot’s, but I’ll talk more about this in another post. 

Likes to sleep with her parents. It’s hard to get up in the morning bc she is pratically glued to the one she is hugging.

Loki Genetta

One son. He’s the youngest among the 17 suitors (bc Loki is fucking 19 years old in canon universe, duh). 

The boy is always stealing MC’s attention, always glaring at Loki. Loki glares back because he’s a man-child. 

Actually, they get along very well when the issue is not MC, and the boy trusts Loki a lot, sharing secrets and asking for help when in need of assistance. 

His looks and personality are a carbon copy of Loki’s. 

Always follows Ray’s son and Fenrir’s daughter around. 

Oliver Knight

One daughter, and Oliver loves her so much!

She looks a lot like MC, both in looks and personality. 

Being a bit naive, she’s always getting in trouble. Thank god her friends are always ready to rescue her! Is bffs with Sirius’s second daughter. 

Boys love her. Girls too. As a teenager, she’s always having to turn down confessions. She tries to be gentle, but some people are just too bold for her to deal with. That’s when Sirius’s daughter and son (the twins!) enter and deal with whoever is bothering her. 

She kind of has a crush on Sirius’s oldest son, but is too embarassed to admit. 

Oliver knows, but doesn’t want her to know that he knows. It’s kind of tough to hide, bc when the boy shows up at his house he’s always fumming with jealousy. 

Blanc Lapin

Mister Blanc has one son.

He’s calm and smart. 

Loves tea parties! Dad’s carrot cake is the best.

Loves his mom. Loves his dad. Loves his friends. 

He’s a sunshine. Everybody loves him. 

Dean Tweedle

Has only one daughter. 

Her looks and personality are a perfect mix of her parents’. 

Sleeps only if her dad reads to her. Otherwise, she stays the whole night staring at ceiling with a bored expression. 

Is really smart and responsable. She’s the perfect “senpai” at school. 

Is bffs with Sirius’ oldest daughter. 

She and Dalim’s son look really alike, so people are always mistaking them as siblings. Dalim and Dean always get annoyed at this.

Dalim Tweedle/Dum

Has one son.

Just like Dean’s daughter, his looks are a mix of his parent’s, but his personality is a bit different. Despite being really curious, he’s really quiet and hesitant of asking questions aloud. 

Is a magic user. 

Sees Dean’s daughter as a big sister. Is always attached to her hand when they meet and follows her around like a shadow. 

Probably prefers his mom over Dalim. 

[bokutouch]

Hi!!! I was wondering if I could get an eternal matchup pls??

- my names Olivia and I’m 17.

- I go by she/her pronouns and I want to be matched with a male character from Haikyuu!! please.

- My birthday is January 6th, 2004 and I’m a Capricorn Sun, Cancer Moon, and Libra Rising (my Mercury is in Sagittarius, my Venus is in Aquarius, and my Mars is in Aries if you wanted to know the rest).

- I’m 5’2, I have brownish-red hair and blue eyes.

- I spend a lot of time doing school work because I’m really driven by it and I’ve had good grades a majority of high school. When I’m not doing schoolwork I enjoy listening to music or going on a walk! I really like going on sunrise/sunset walks bc they’re always really pretty! I try to do community service in my free time because I really enjoy helping others out. I'm currently a summer camp counselor but I hope to be a lab tech one day :)

- If I were to go on a date with a partner I don't really mind what we do, but I like book dates, movie dates, and especially museum dates!! In a partner I'm looking for someone who shares the same interests as me, is kind, has a good sense of humor, and most importantly can understand and work through my emotions with me. I get really bad mood changes so if he can work with me through that I really value it. My love languages are acts of service and quality time.

- I think that one of my fatal flaws is that although I appear kind and respectful when I’m out in public, I have pretty severe anxiety, depression, and anger issues so I struggle with that a lot. I also get really defensive and stubborn when someone says something that annoys me so i kinda never stop talking lol.

- To finish off I’m an ISFP and Enneagram Type 9v1.

- I hope you have a great day! Ty if you do this! ❤

Hello olivia, thanks for coming to my brand new rocket ship!! 🚀

first of all I apologize bcs I'm not really educated about astrology,

so I'll just use your other description as best as I could okay??

I SHIP YOU WITH AKAASHI KEIJI!

"why akaashi?" you might askㅡ

first of all, some part of you reminded me of bokuto.

and some part of you definitely reminded akaashi of bokuto too. it's not a bad thing really.

Akaashi looks at you and think, "ah, she is my home."

because "home" supposed to be comfortable, because home supposed to be familiar. Being with you bring him peace. You are his home, his tranquility, his safe haven.

Most people told him, "God- you are such a boring person, Akaashi." and as the time goes by, he is starting to believe that tooㅡ but thats until you come into his life.

You're one of his classmate. And not gonna lie, at first akaashi only know you as the quiet girl who always buried her nose in books. "If I am boring, she must be a lot more boring than me." that's what he thought of you, bcs really everytime he sees you, its always you and your books. He understands the importance of having good grades, but should you really be doing that everyday?

The first time you two have a really long talk was when one day akaashi saw you still sitting inside your shared classroom, all alone bcs it's almost 6 pm and of course everybody left already. Nose buried deep in books like you always do, but this time he could hear you humming a song- it's a song that he also enjoyed listening to. He never sing in front of other people before, but for some reason he wanted to join your little secret concert at that time, so he did. He sing along to your little hummingㅡ 1 song turn into 2, turn into 3, and you still didn't notice him at all. He laughed a little because "what's so interesting in that clinical laboratory science book that she doesn't even realized I've been here for almost 10 minutes already."

He tapped your shoulder two times, and you jumped at that.

"H-hey? Um, sorry, I just.. I've been waiting here for you to finally notice me but I guess that book is really interesting, huh?" he smiled at you, feeling a little bad after seeing your reaction at his little tap tap on your shoulder.

"Oh, yes... I want to be a lab tech in the future, so um you know, just preparing." you awkwardly smiled back at him.

"Well, uh.. I know you definitely going to be an amazing lab tech one day. I saw you reading tons of books related to that job everyday in class, so... I believe your hardwork will be paid off."

"wait... that was so nice of him." you stared at akaashi who's currently fidgeting with his fingers.

"Thank you for saying that, Akaashi. That really means a lot to me. People have been telling me that my dream job is just that, a dream. Hearing you saying that someday my hardwork will be paid off really motivate me to prove them wrong. I swear I'm gonna rub it on their face once I got the job." you grins at him.

And at that, Akaashi heart beating a little bit faster than the usual. Was it your thankful speech for him? Was it your cute little grin? He doesn't really knowㅡ one thing he knows for sure though, he wants to keep talking to you. From today, tomorrow, and as long as you would let him.

"Hey, uh... it's going to get dark soon. Do you maybe want to go home together with me?"

You could see how nervous akaashi was after asking you that question, so you just nods and start fixing your books into your bag. Right before you zip up your bag, you remembered the main reason you are still in the classroom at that hour is because you were planning to see the sunset on your way back home, "Wait Akaashi, I actually want to see the sunset today..."

"Oh? I usually go home as the sun set due to my volleyball practice. The sight look really pretty if you see it from on top of the hills behind our school. Do you want to go there? I can show you the best spot."

Of course you accept his offer enthusiastically. So yes, that day is the beginning of your friends to lovers type of relationship with Akaashi.

Akaashi confessed to you first.

His friend circle are full of annoying people. They all be like,

"COME ON AKAASHI!! CONFESS YOUR UNDYING LOVE TO OLIVIA ALREADY."

"AKAASHI, DO YOU WANT TO SEE OTHER GUY SNATCH HER UP? HUH? ANSWER ME. AKAASHI!! AKAASHI!! WAIT UP!! "

"AKAASHI, WHAT IF OLIVIA DECIDED TO FALL FOR SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE YOU ARE BEING SUCH A PUSSY AND WON'T CONFESS TO HER?"

"AKAASHI THIS" "AKAASHI THAT" "AKAASHI" "AKAASHI"

so during your usual study date day, he just decided to straight up ask you to be his girlfriend.

"W-what?" you just sat there for a whole minute because... what if things gonna feel different once you two put a real label to your not so friendly friendship? What if being friends with Akaashi is a lot more better than being his girlfriend? What if he ended up leaving you because he doesn't like the real you? There are so many ugly things that you hide from him, would he still love you the same after seeing all those imperfection? so many what if(s) going inside of your head, so little time to actually process each one of it.

"Umm, you can say no, you know...." all the messy thoughts inside your head stopped right away after hearing that.

"NO! wait, Keiji- I mean, not no to be your girlfriend, its no to me saying no to be your girlfriend." God, its hard to be in love. You can't control your heart, your brain, and now your tongue. God bless your soul, olivia.

"So.... is that a yes to be my girlfriend then?" Akaashi looks really small in that moment. He is still not sure if he can finally kiss you or not. Only being a friend to you for these past 6 months kept him from doing a lot of romantic stuff with you. Kissing you, holding your hands for no reason, hugging you any time he wants to, actually go on a study date with you instead of a childish study day. So now he really won't waste a single time if you answer his previous question with a "Yes" ;

After having a long talk about your imperfections, all your insecurities, and also tons of frustrated tears coming from your eyes, you finally say yes and there you have your new title as Akaashi Keiji's new girlfriend. He definitely got his long waited kiss from you too 🌻.

HEADCANON(s)!!

Bokuto once joined you and akaashi's museum date and he broke a statue hand after trying to handshake the statue. He grabbed the broken hand and show it to you and akaashi with teary eyes. Can't do nothing but running for your life and never comeback to that one particular museum 😭

You and Akaashi have the same love language, "Act of Service" ; So the two of you enjoy giving each other little massage here and there.

Just like you, Akaashi love being helpful for others too, so he really enjoyed the time he spent accompanying you to all your community service agendas. People that you two have been helping together ship you guys so much, especially the elderly couple. They keep saying "You two will make it until old days like us two."

After a long time dating eachother, you two decided to adopt a cute siberian husky that you named "Bobo". Akaashi rejected that name at first, because "Honestly love, I don't like how you picked a name so close to Bokuto's name. Our dog deserves better." You gasped at that, "How dare you, Keiji. This is our son! And his name is Bobo. I don't take no for an answer."

RUNNER UP(s) !!

OSAMU MIYA

SAWAMURA DAICHI

SHINSUKE KITA

alright this getting too long haha.

I hope you enjoy the results, love 🦋

[faedawayyy]

watch out, fresh meat coming thru....

AUGUST BAKER

fc: maggie Lindemann age: 23 years old, third year profession: singer   mbti/hogwarts/sign: esfj/gryffindor/scorpio   sexuality: bisexual siblings: jude, carmen and garret

wealthy friends who are nice to her but like, remind her she’s not one of them and she so desperately wants to be. she’d definitely steal from them too. maybe they don’t catch on and even when they do, don’t realise it’s her. 

girls and guys in older years or even parents and teachers who visit the motel to sleep with her. it’s consenting and she wants the cash. it wouldn't be a situation she's forced into. 

an ex that couldn't put up with how obsessed she is with trying to be just like everybody else so they ended. she's probs bitter. 

MEREDITH JACOBS

fc: victoria pedretti age: 24/fourth year profession: actress mbti/hogwarts/sign:infp, ravenclaw, aquarius   sexuality: heterosexual siblings: stanley jacobs 

people in her class (acting) who know there’s something weird about her but can’t put their finger on it. maybe they’re friends with her but keep their distance. 

someone with a crush on her who doesn’t realise how detached she is from reality at most points. they could become really close friends or be scared off by it. 

maybe an ex fwb or boyfriend who hasn’t quite let it go yet. it could be pretty toxic and I feel like would put her under stress.

STANLEY JACOBS 

fc: lucas bin age: 21/second year profession: athlete mbti/hogwarts/sign: intj, gryffindor, leo sexuality: heterosexual   siblings: meredith jacobs 

younger guys who kiss his ass bc he’s a dick and it’s easier to be nice to him than have to deal with his bully-ish kind of ways. he pushes jude around a lot and I feel like for it to work, he needs friends who kinda just stand by and watch rather than help?

a fwb he’s a bit possessive over. i don't think he's an anthony but he definitely gets jealous and triggers his anger quite a bit. sos.

someone who “gets” him, a good friend or older mentor kind of type who just knows how to get him to wind down and actually communicate properly. probably his one true friend tbh bc they never bullshit and are always honest to him.

NOAH MICHAELS

fc: brad simpson age: 25/fourth year   profession: musician/band member mbti/hogwarts/sign: entp, hufflepuff, cancer sexuality: bisexual siblings: n/a

people in similar clubs to him or just people he’s connected with so quickly. he’s just somebody whose really easy to talk to so I feel like he’d have quite a big group of friends already?

anyone who wants to be a part of the band (gonna use the vamps lmao) 

maybe a flirtationship. I KNOW he’s bi but I'd appreciate m x m because I don't have many! or maybe a guy he’s crushing on a lot but they’re just not in the place

CHARLEIGH DAVIS 

fc: zendaya coleman  age: 23/third year  profession: actress  mbti/hogwarts/sign: infj, ravenclaw, virgo sexuality: pansexual  siblings: n/a

the guy she had a baby with. it happened through a mindless one night stand and it landed her in a lot of trouble. parents kicked her out which landed her in the foster shelter thing owned by stanley’s great aunt. she ended up putting the baby up for adoption but maybe he doesn't know that or that there ever was one hfjkg 

someone helping her break into acting. she has raw talent but doesn't know where to start. maybe they get her the st judes audition in the first place but she slowly becomes their rival rather than their ally/friend. 

genuine friends tbh, she needs them 

CAMILA MARIE 

fc: addison rae age: 19/first year profession: dancer  mbti/hogwarts/sign: esfj, hufflepuff, cancer sexuality: heterosexual siblings: n/a

married very young and the situation got abusive VERY quickly. she’s living in the same youth shelter place as some of my other newbies and is in hiding for sure because she’s terrified this guy will find her again but before she goes to the shelter, she’ll be at the motel owned by the bakers for a while. maybe a friend who brought her to VS and knew her from before? 

dance rivals OR friends, i don't mind either way 

someone who likes her but she’s just not ready for it given the circumstances 

someone related to the guy she’s married to but they’re on her side and actually give her some form of comfort?

MITCHELL LOVELL

fc: nick robinson age: 24/fourth year profession: dancer and actor mbti/hogwarts/sign: infp, slytherin, aries  sexuality: heterosexual siblings: n/a

another one in the shelter. basically his parents were addicts their entire lives and ended up kicking him out/calling him a liability/it got too unhealthy for him. he’s been living there since he was 16.

he was definitely groomed into gang culture; healing and supplying drugs from a young age so maybe anyone linked to that? buyers? fellow sellers? etc. etc. mitchell would've thrived because it was the one place he felt he belonged/was useful 

an ex-girlfriend. he'd never be abusive even though he’s a bit of a dick but he IS unpredictable and maybe she never felt secure with him. he wouldn't blame her tbh, the self esteem is SO low.

he’s still stuck in the cycle of being self-destructive so a VERY PATIENT FRIEND

[pazii]

Aaaaa okay I just got inspired to work on my unnamed honkai/genshin oc so sorta long post incoming??

I've been using Jay as a placeholder name for her bc self insert lmao but uhhh she should have a Japanese name I just haven't decided what yet (I might just name her Blue Jay/Jay in Japanese lmao)

Jay's hometown is Nagazora and she was rescued by Schicksal when the Honkai destroyed her town

She decided to train as a valkyrie and met class monitor Fu Hua during her time at St. Freya (basically a school for training people to fight the Honkai)

Jay had a lot of conflicting feelings about her life up to that point, bc all she wanted to do was have a normal life, go to school, get a job, maybe adopt some cats and that's it, but now she got roped into a fight for humanity?? Pls she just wanted to vibe

So she struggled a lot w her examinations. She always aces the written portion but has a lot of trouble doing the actual fighting. She tends to get nervous and forget everything she's learned

Sorta the opposite of Kiana (the mc of the honkai storyline) whose fighting style is more "they can't kill me if they're already dead!!" Kiana tends to go in guns blazing and constantly fails the written portion of the exam so Hua decided to pair the two together and have them help each other out

As the next exam season drew near, Kiana had managed to pick up what Jay had been teaching her about the Honkai, but Jay had yet to make much progress in her fighting abilities

One day, Fu Hua finds Jay crying in her room before a training session w Kiana. Jay admits she feels like a failure to everybody bc she survived the Honkai eruption while all of her friends and family died, and yet she can't even do the bare minimum to fight back. Hua kinda pats her back awkwardly while Jay spills all of her feelings (bc Hua isn't that great w emotions lmao) and afterward she offers to give Jay some private tutoring in the martial arts she learned from her father

So Jay and Hua began meeting every day to train, and slowly but surely, Jay improves!

And over time, Jay starts falling for the stoic class monitor with a secret sweet side

Yes Jay has her gay awakening when Hua pins her to the wall during training

Jay would also eventually find out about Hua's past. I don't want to spoil too much so I'll just say that Hua has lived for thousands of years, but because of something that happened in the past, she's unable to recall most of her early memories. However all the abilities she's honed over the years are intact and she passed many of those techniques onto Jay

Fast forward to chapter 22 in the story, [redacted] happens (no spoilers lmao) but something went wrong and the space around Hua destabilized (this is diverging from canon rn). Jay grabbed Hua's hand right before the two were flung into the Sea of Quanta (a space between worlds)

After an unknown amount of time, Jay awoke in Liyue, with a pale pink feather in her hands but Fu Hua nowhere to be found. Since then, she had been searching for her beloved throughout Teyvat, with the hope that she can finally confess her feelings when they're reunited

During that time she became friends with Zhongli (who gave her similar vibes to Hua bc they were both calm and very wise), Childe (who insists on fighting her all the time bc of her unique combat style), and Hu Tao (whose voice reminded her of Kiana they have the same CN voice actor lol)

Jay hasn't told anyone why she's looking for Hua, just that Hua was "a close friend" but anyone observant enough can see that Jay's eyes fill with love and longing whenever she talks about Hua

(Also side note, when Jay first sees Kazuha she mistakes him for Hua bc he has the same hair as her lmao)

I can totally see Jay being intrigued by Tai bc of his phoenix vibes 👀 Hua used to be known as "Phoenix" way back in the day and also had fire powers lol

Also @ Scaradango anon I think Jay would probably run into Liu Gui when she first wakes up in Liyue!! Maybe she directs Jay to Liyue Harbor and tells her a bit about Teyvat? :0

I don’t know much about Honkai so I can’t fully appreciate the story but it sure is interesting!! I should probably play Honkai just so I can understand lol Really love your OC!!

[iconsumeheadcanons]

persona characters autism headcanons!

hi im autistic and i started my day with sun so now im !!!!!!!!! some of these headcanons are from elsewhere on tumbr, but i dont know where :(((  so i am hoping someone out there knows that n that everybody knows that i love them <3

(also go check out mollypaup and i think hypeswap if you havent already! they post some good stuff autism+adhd hc too!!! i think.. oh! and thieves-in-the-palace!!!)

P5

Joker

there was some artwork from someone on tublr..where they pointed out that he doesnt really talk outside the metaverse so--hes hyperverbal as joker and just near nonverbal as akiren

he stims ALL THE TIME. that phone thing, the pencil thing, the little tappy tap of his foot, pulling at his bangs when hes embarrassed/smug. someone get him a fidget spinner. he’ll prob learn to do tricks with it

he probably sucks at focusing in class, like i know its just the game design but hes always surprised out of his daily “star out the window at the nearby office building” when his teachers ask him questions

mona mentions when the pt is at Wilton for the first time (after they run into shido) that joker eats like shit, and that could have multiple causes at the start of the story of course, but when i first played i thought that joker was a picky eater and that the variety (and amount of food) at the buffet would be an Ordeal...

tho mona makes that comment bc joker looked pale after having a little ptsd moment from shidos voice, but i didnt know that the first time i played

maybe when joker makes a face at ryuji putting so much ginger in his gyudon? joker probably does not like pickled ginger lol

his favortive foods are all spicy, which is why the curry he makes for his friends is always ‘overly spicy’, and why kasumi makes him a curry bento and joker kept going “...?” .... “....?!”

overly reflective glasses have been a great plus for him bc now he never has to make real eye contact every again!

mona Soft. play with Ann hair. maybe Braid. nice

puns (Gorou the Goroumet)

he has so many options to be straight up rude sometimes in game. he probably no clue on his own, which is why he defaults to Not Talking. people probably mention his constant scary face, which is just him being nonexpressive, squinting at all the fucking bright lights, and Tired

executive function who? we do everything last minute folks

high pain tolerance, which is why he was the kid that was always climbing trees in elementary school to get basketballs unstuck from the branches

his sixth sense lets him see treasure and possible places to climb/crawl bc 1. Shiny? Steal it. Steal it Now. and 2. Could i fit in that? Time to Find Out

probalby a bit of a klepto too oops. he’ll return it tho!! but he has to do it dramatically or he’ll die

cant sit properly to save his life

smells and touch are Great, they can keep him grounded when his brain goes off to police or dead rivals or guilt or

if a friend hung out with him and gave him total reigns of the agenda, he would choose to nap on the floor while his friend does something off to the side quietly

hyperfocuses on handy tasks (i.e. lockpicks, coffee brewing, cleaning, his part time jobs) and some things like movies and books. everything else is a tossup

his (normal) navigation app is his most used app bc he still doesnt know where hes going, even though he only goes to the same few places in the city

hates being sweaty, literally cannot stand it. probably double exhausted during the summer

but Needs Compression so hes often Struggling

Futaba

paraphrase from p5d “i have no motor skills so i cant play rhythm games :(” need i say more? (i will regardless)

echolalia all the time, from anime, memes, the PT

those headphones she wears all the time? noise cancelling ear protectors babey

only talks about her interests, “normal” talking is Not Easy, but she is still communicative w others despite her worries. shes not “hard to understand” at all but she feels the anxiety nonetheless

only talks informally, cannot talk ‘politely’ with out imitating someone around her

shes had meltdowns and anxiety attacks in game :( i relate so hard

Technology. thats it

def had an egypt phase that pops up every few months. probably came from yu-gi-oh

has Immune to Bright Lights buff.  joker is very jealous

“Time to make like a tree and leave!” and 30 other iterations

video game metaphors are the only ones that makes sense to her

probably relates hard to robot characters in anime for their general androgyny and confusion about human emotions and connections

probably gets told that shes “too smart to be on the spectrum” by teachers >:( she fails their classes on purpose

wakaba’s autistic too that just how it is

the Connection that she establishes with Joker is so Warm. my life goals include adopting an older brother like futaba has lsdkfjslkfj

also eater of 5 foods only, i mean, she brings cup ramen to the beach. i just really admire her...

hides in small spaces for comfort

doesnt she have like uhhhhh hyperthymesia or something like that?

Yusuke

art

his entire social link is learning how humans work, which i relate

talks seriously all the time

“sarcasm? who is that? are you saying I was sarcastic?...how?”

cant remember to take care of his body, and madarame did not help with that either

lot of uncomfortable staring, hes overdoing the eye contact thingy

infodumps all the time, doesnt know hes doing it

needs a lot of support even if he doesnt think he deserves it. no one ever complains about helping him out tho

visual stims my friends

he didnt know that you could look up pictures on the internet but he does know you can stream live videos of waterfalls and fluffy animales!!

I am certainly in the mood

for something salty today.

he and joker are scared of math. numbers do not interact

Yusuke, futaba, and akiren are a trio and i know this bc their first day of non-thievery interacts is Akiren clearing Futabas room w/o permission, futaba hyperfocusing on destroying medjed, and yusuke rearranging futabas figurines so they are more visually appealing

morgana is a support friend for all of them bc igor knows they need it

P4

Souji/Yu

yes, he mostly wears gray semi formal clothes bc parents tell him to, no, he will not changes this

Schedule or Death

“sorry, could you repeat that?” “huh? oh yeah, i was saying that--” “yeah that’d be cool.”

cats, fishing, he just likes to be quiet. you can literally spend a day at the beach just to think if you want, and that is what yu want

has a lot of scripts for things (of which he shares with nanako!) but if he runs out he just stops talking..

inaba is a godsend bc its so fucking quiet and warm

he Yearns to hold his friends hands, but he shies away from a lot of touch (excepting yosuke, teddie, and nanako)

Cooking and Cleaning makes the world better. he and joker vibe together with this

unlike akiren, he strong arms any executive dysfunction into Be Productive or Else. his punishment is feeling the pure anxiety of having to make up for ‘lost time’. (another symptom of his workaholic parents)

writes everything down, notes are very neat, has pages dedicated for bad doodles when hes not feeling his usual Super Classroom Focus

Cannot handle secondhand embarrassment (most often caused by yosuke) and will quietly slip away to random cats or origami folding

hungry, crunch crunch folks. probably needs chewelry bc he used to chew on his shirt collars when he was younger.

cleans up after everyone in the food court, constantly worries about them accidently hurting themselves. likely spends half of group conversations watching peoples hands

he canonically eats expired food, nanako plz help your brother

really clumsy, but people only notice after they decide that he is a cool person

video games are too chaotic for him

exhausted every night from the pure amount of masking he does, if a friend spends the night (or is like yosuke) they will know his more comfortable weirdo self (tho everyone knows hes a weirdo eventually)

hyperempathetic, sometimes just understands animals and children better than peeople his age or older

Yukiko

her jokes

she and souji get in ‘trouble’ together, she and joker commit crimes together

she and chie have to coordinate outfits, its important

actually understands metaphors, but does not understand people

like me, had no clue that creepy kid was flirting with her

she is very angry when she has meltdowns that might involve slamming doors and shouting. her parents call these ‘tantrums’ and ‘unfitting for a polite daughter’ but really thats because her meltdowns tend to be caused by arguments w her family after a long day of school and TV world traipsing

the metronome meme, except hers goes between Loudest Person in the Room to Quietest Pin Drop in the Planet. she is completely unaware of this

her atmosphere brightens when chie appears. that is not only the lesbian energy within her, but also because chie is like her Favorite Person

Cannot wear Pants. No (tho she wants to try it! but she puts them on and her soul instantly squashes)

happy flappy lesbian! watch out!

Naoto

the pouty face. all the time lskdfjlasdkf

hes really snappy sometimes and i love that for him. he and akechi should fight just to see what would happen (please read Bang Bang Shoot Shoot on AO3)

“do not touch me or my hat, thank you”

no one has ever seen him shutdown and no one ever will (except for his grandpa)(and kanji)(and rise)

probably likes certain food textures and will stand for nothing less, probably feels embarrassed about his preferences with friends

constantly jumps between ‘everybody hates me so i should act like them so they dont hate me’ to ‘i refuse to be anything but very comfortable as myself, and i dont care that im making you upset sir’

he and souji are the king and queen of subtle stims, but for unhappy reasons :(

does not make jokes. cannot joke around. understand? yes, do? no.

loose clothes are the only good clothes, but all tags and obtrusive seams will be obliterated by kanji tatsumi

not very empathetic so he probably comes off as an asshole to strangers (like when he throws away his classmates confession letters without reading them) but he tries so hard to sound comforting when his buds are struggling.

his understanding of others emotions/reactions come from his learning as a detective, which seems cold+clinical to others, especially compared to souji, whos completely unexpressive but very introverted people person

P3

Hamuko/Minako/Kotone

big personality!! very people-oriented!! koromaru and her are buddies!! when shes having a real bad time, shes very quiet and expressions turn off

interrupts herself in the middle of conversations all the time. no one knows where shes coming from. her brains is thousands of km ahead of her body

bouncey legs, swingin arms, twirlly skirt, little somersaults! when will she stop? never!

very obvious music stims with her hands and arms! people are like “oh there she goes! happy as usual!” shes listening to minatos heavy metal playlist

switches from exhausted to excited within milliseconds. no one can predict, not even her

SEES has to ask her for context all the time cuz she’ll just continue shit from 2 weeks ago without warning

professionals will assume shes very childish bc of how chipper she is, but she is beyond mature for her age and only feels comfortable enough to have serious conversations if a person has proved themself able to handle it

collects every little thing. her room is a mess and she has to get rid of most of it every time she moves :(

hates cleaning! smells bad, feels bad hhhhhgggg

dont let mitsuru-senpai see her bedroom

gets lost in the middle of conversations with others bc shes thinking about a story connected to one(1) word that was said earlier

 no sense of time and place, she just sees her friends and goes “ah, this is the right place, then” but junpei and akihiko are also lost so now theyre all screwed

Minato/Makoto/Sakuya

no talkies, no walkies

his story in the movies is him literally learning how to function around people he cares for

doesnt get jokes, expressions, body language, empathy, subtlety, metaphors, physical contact, or eye contact. aigis is probably the only person he truly understands right away

he is still nice to people because he doesnt see a reason not to be, but also he has very limited energy so only his senpai and old people get his most polite-kindnesses

cannot describe feelings for the life of him. the team wont know hes injured or sick until hes passed out

everything is too loud, time to drown it out with my loud ass music

rocking and chewing stims, ryoji is the first person to point him out for these subtle stims (not accusingly of course, just general pure curiosity and love for the uniqueness of humanity)

likes to cover his face with whatever is available, lives like a bat in a dark dry cave

will wear anything that has pockets and his blue/gray/black palette

sleepy at all times bc he never has much energy

when he was younger he probably needed a lot of support, especially after his parents died, because he wouldnt communicate like a neurotypical and would shutdown for hours in the middle of school without warning. probably missed a lot of lessons and field trips out of pure overstimulation

eating at all times. no preference, just whatevers closest

his meltdowns probalby include humming whining noises and curling up in a ball, which makes people want to touch him, but that is the LAST thing he wants. put a blanket on him! play some music! do not talk and do not expect him to speak

aigis is the only person who can touch him normally bc her hands are cold and he likes cold

never nude, feels mmmmmmmmm without clothes and probalby wears a full robe in the hotsprings

will not do things that take more than one step w/o someone else walking him thru it, which Same

[nicostolemybones]

Please share some of your favorite head canons

This is a question I have been dying to be asked for so so long now! I don't always use every one of these headcanons in my fics, bc I like to explore different possibilities and ideas, but these are headcanons that I have anyways! Imma categorise them, this might get long:

Lgbtq+

Trans Will Clarisse and Annabeth

Bi Percy Annabeth Jason Clarisse and Will

Pansexual, genderqueer Piper

Oriented aroace lesbian Reyna

Lesbian Thalia

Oriented aroace gay Leo Valdez

Gay asexual Nico

Angst

Nico being triggered by pink triangles (like imagine him at some party and there's pink bunting and he just starts panicking and having flashbacks, or seeing them on a notebook pattern, and most people don't understand why he has such an 'obscure' trigger

Will who suffers from compassion fatigue and existential meltdowns and who believes he has blood on his hands

Leo with a lung disease from all the smoke and chemicals and dust he works with (I know a fair bit about lung issues due to family having them)

Nico's trauma actually having an impact on him in general (I refuse to believe his trauma stopped manifesting when he got a boyfriend), like the insomnia and flashbacks and fading and the whispering shadows and phobia of the dark

Will being an all year round camper because either his mom is homophobic or neglectful, or he doesn't feel safe in the area he grew up in

Jason who is constantly afraid of his own strength and of becoming a weapon, or worse, being just like his father

Reyna who worries that she's unapproachable and unloveable because she has so many barriers up

Percy who slowly becomes so scared of water and of drowning that he's afraid to use his powers in case he hurts someone, and who struggles to shower sometimes because some days he's too scared he'll drown

Piper who is so scared of losing who she is that she has to ask her friends to tell her things about herself sometimes. She writes it all down on post it notes so she doesn't forget who she is

Piper who, after her claiming, constantly feels like she's too curvy, too pretty, looks to grown up, who doesn't feel comfortable to wear certain clothes she likes in case their too tight, because she's absolutely terrified of being sexualised she's just a teen

Hazel who develops the Midas touch, perhaps a curse, who can't even hug her own brother lest he turn to gold. She's terrified that she'll wake up one day and she'll truly have a heart of gold

Frank who struggles with body dysmorphia. Frank who used to be perfectly okay with his chubbiness until his transformation, Frank who doesn't understand what was wrong with his body, Frank who sees himself as a muscled freak, Frank who, when he starts to gain weight again, is terrified that he won't be good enough for anyone else. Frank who shapeshifts because it's harder to feel bad about a body that isn't even human.

Annabeth who is so scared of losing her intelligence that she revises way past her limitations. Annabeth who gets addicted to energy drinks and studying because not only does sleep give her nightmares, but she's terrified of not waking up, or waking up and forgetting. Annabeth with superstitious rituals to stave off dementia. Annabeth who can recite the periodic table backwards and can multiply triple digit numbers in her head because she's overworking herself because she's scared that if she stops she will forget

Thaila who gets such bad nightmares she sleep floats and wakes up terrified because she's so high up so she bolts down all her windows out of the fear she'll fly away and fall to her death

Fluff and miscellany

Nico and Hazel swing dancing to records played on a gramophone

Will teaching Nico to read and sharing music with him

Nico playing clarinet or violin and drawing

Will cannot sing but he tries dammit

Percy who rescues baby seals and turtles and volunteers at the local conservation centre and adopts a tiny baby shark that turns out to be not so tiny that he puts in the lake

Annabeth who loves kids and becomes a teacher and a writer, writing dyslexia-friendly books

Will who teaches at camp but the learning style is completely individualised

There's a big box of stim toys in the infirmary

Jason who rediscovers how to have fun, who picks up so many hobbies and interests he can't count and damn it's fun to not be a soldier and just be a kid

Knitting club

Autistic Solangelo

Multilingual campers teaching each other their native languages

Workshops at camp to help campers reconnect with their culture (Piper's idea)

Reyna and Thalia being the lesbian aunts of camp, who everybody thinks are cool af. Thalia being an edgy butch punk and Reyna being a badass femme with a sword

Clarisse who goes to bars just to spot creeps and keep people safe (nobody argues with her)

Hazel and Nico playing mythomagic and being close siblings

Nico who slips into Italian when excited, who forgets words in English and just uses the Italian word, who sometimes gets the grammar wrong, and nobody makes him feel bad about it

Nico who can cook because his mama taught him, and Will who once managed to melt a plastic plate on the hob, tried to make toast and caused a fire, and once ate a tub of slime because he was hungry

Nico sewing

Will knitting

Piper running body confidence and fashion workshops, but rather than just instagram make up and branded clothes, she also encourages campers to wear whatever the hell they want. Jumper with 100 patches on it? Valid. Boys in skirts? Valid. Girls in suits? Valid. Enbies experimenting with gender presentation? Valid. Wanna look like a feral forest dwelling cryptid? Valid. Want to look like a princess at a ball? Valid.

Will and Piper and Clarisse as friends who run an adventurecore blog and go hiking and cause general chaos together

Nico and Leo being close friends who make edgy jokes and talk about their moms and talk to each other in a weird mix of Spanish and Italian from what they've taught each other.

Frank who runs self defence classes and offers to pretend to be people's boyfriend to help them escape creeps. He doesn't care if he has to pretend to be gay, or if he has to pretend to be a girl, he'll do anything to protect people from creeps.

Will has a pet chicken

Nico hisses at people

Everybody respects that Nico is touch averse

Clarisse and Drew, who used to be bullies, who have genuinely changed and genuinely do good. They help people to recognise patterns of bullying in both themselves and others, they talk to the bullies and help them to reform, they help people to realise that bullying can be traumatic and you don't have to forgive a bully. Clarisse and Drew who open a Safe Space corner

[minijenn]

Universe Falls Chapter 78

Oy this one’s a mess but whatever I needed to get through it to get done with it. Plus heyoooo one chapter left after this one till RMD yeah boiiiiii. Anyway this one is, ok... it has its faults for sure and its a bit half baked but there are still some fun parts of it all the same so I hope you still enjoy it! (and again for formatting please read this on AO3 or FF.Net, Dumblr is the worst when it comes to formatting). Enjoy!

Previous: https://minijenn.tumblr.com/post/617233070438907905/universe-falls-chapter-77-part-3

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Chapter 78: Monster Falls

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“Now, now, Yellow, just hold onto your hand ship. These things take time! You just gotta be patient!”

“I’ve been patient for over 5,000 years now! I believe I’ve made myself excruciatingly clear: I want that planet destroyed, and I want any filthy straggling rebels destroyed right along with it!”

“Hey, we’re on the same page here, Yellow! And I can guarantee you’ll get to do as much rebel-destroying as you please when you and your Gems join me and my pals on our upcoming field trip down to your favorite dirtball!”

“Ah yes, an excursion that’s taking far too long to actually happen! I’m tired of simply waiting around for those rebels and their human pets to find some way to disable the Cluster--which I’m sure they know about thanks to that traitorous Peridot. If you won’t wipe them out like they deserve, then I’ll do it myself!”

“Whoa-ho-ho, no need to be so hasty! You wanna  nip those Crystal Chumps and their human buddies in the bud? You got it. Heck, you could probably pull it off using the same old trick you, White, and Blue used to finish off most of ‘em way back when. Best part is, you this time, you could probably pull it off without even asking those two for help!”

“...You mean use my power… alone? I fail to see how that would-”

“Not alone! I’ll lend you a hand instead. Between the two of us, all it’ll take is a direct hit straight on their “base” or whatever ya call it, and they’ll never know what hit ‘em!”

“Hm… I suppose it is worth a try. Especially if it will finally wipe the last of those despicable Crystal Gems and their wretched leader out of existence once and for all.”

“Yeah, sure, that’s absolutely what it’ll do. So, what are we waiting for? Let’s give those chumps a real blast from the past…”

“Thanks for coming over and helping me with my spring cleaning, you guys!” Steven grinned down to Dipper, Mabel, and Connie from his spot up on the loft. The kids had spent the better half of their morning sorting through Steven’s belongings to help him decide what to keep and what to throw away or donate. A rather mundane task compared to what they usually tended to get up to, but a surprisingly enjoyable one all the same. 

“I think you mean summer cleaning, Steven,” Connie chuckled as she neatly folded up a shirt. 

“...Huh… yeah, I guess I do!”

“Not that any of this stuff even needs cleaning,” Mabel said as she carried a box of various nick nacks up onto the loft. “I wish I could keep all my Crying Breakfast Friends merch as organized as you do, Steven!”

“So do I,” Dipper remarked to Connie more than Mabel. “Especially since her “merch” usually ends up on my side of the attic.”

“Well, Pearl once told me ‘the cleaner the room, the happier the human’, so I--oh no!” Steven stopped short with a sudden gasp as he lifted one of his several stuffed animals. “MC Bear-Bear! You’ve got a tear-tear!”

“Not MC Bear-Bear!” Mabel exclaimed just as dramatically as Steven showed off the relatively tiny tear under the bear’s armpit. “He was too young! Too pure!”

“It’s a stuffed bear, Mabel,” Dipper deadpanned. 

“A beautiful bear with so much to live for!”

“I should have been more careful,” Steven added onto the round of laments. “We’ve lost too many good bears this way. Well don’t worry,” he said to the bear as he held it close. “You’re hurt, but I’ll look after you.” With this, the young Gem planted a gentle kiss on the bear’s head, and as a result, his healing spit swiftly did its jobs, magically mending the tear back together until it looked like it had never even happened at all. 

“Huh, well that’s one way to patch up a tear,” Dipper noted, genuinely impressed. 

“Yeah! Way to go, Steven!” Mabel cheered. “Ya know, I have more than a few stuffed animals of my own that are due for the ol’ ‘Magical Healing Kiss’ treatment too… if you’re up for it, ‘Dr. Universe’.”

Strangely though, Steven didn’t answer as his focus was still on MC Bear-Bear, his expression much more thoughtful and serious than it had been a moment prior. His silence wasn’t lost on the others as Connie spoke up to address it. “Uh… are you ok? You sure are staring MC Bear-Bear down pretty hard there…”

“Huh?” Steven blinked, looking between his three friends before turning back to the bear once more. “Well… I was just thinking… We’ve done a lot this summer--saved the town, the whole world, even, but… there’s still something we haven’t done… Guys,” his tone was earnest as he glanced up, resolved. “We haven’t helped any of the corrupted Gems…”

Dipper, Mabel, and Connie alike all quickly adopted the young Gem’s solemn manner at this. “No, I… I guess we haven’t,” Connie admitted with a frown. 

“To be fair, we have been pretty busy,” Dipper countered. “Besides, it’s not like anybody really even knows how to-”

“I know how!” Steven interjected, raising his hand. “I-I mean, if my healing powers can fix up humans and Gems and even MC Bear-Bear, then I don’t see why they wouldn’t work on corrupted Gems too, right?”

“You really think it could?” Mabel asked, curious. “Cause if you’re right then that’s a lot of monsters you’re gonna have to smooch…”

“Which sounds… sort of dangerous,” Connie noted worriedly. “Maybe you should try a test run first?”

“That’s a great idea!” Steven hopped up from his bed just as the temple doors slid open just in time. “Guys!” he called, tripping over the side of the loft, only to land squarely on the couch between Dipper and Connie. That hardly stopped him however, as he rushed over to the Gems as the others followed not too far behind. 

“Hey, what’s up, little Ste-cup--and amigos?” Amethyst asked, offering the kids a casual grin. 

“Guys! I used my healing spit to fix a rip on MC Bear-Bear!” Steven proclaimed, holding the stuffed animal up for them to see. 

“Oh, uh… that’s… nice?” Pearl said an uncertain smile, though clearly she wasn’t sure what the cause for the young Gem’s excitement was. 

“Good job,” Garnet smiled, sending him a thumbs up. 

“That all you wanted to tell us?” Amethyst asked, crossing her arms. 

“Not even close!” Steven continued. “What I really wanted to tell you is that we were all talking and, well… we wanted to see if we could try-”

“No,” Garnet staunchly cut him off. 

“Uh… Steven didn’t even ask you anything yet,” Dipper pointed out, confused. 

“And even if he had, it was gonna be something you should totally say yes to, by the way!” Mabel added enthusiastically. 

Yet even so, Garnet shook her head. “With my future vision, I can see that you’re going to ask me if you can try healing one of the monsters in the bubble room.”

“So… that’s a no then?” Connie inferred. 

“Can you see if we can get you to change your mind?” Steven ventured, offering the Gem leader a pleading smile. Soon enough it was one that Mabel, Connie, and Dipper all picked up in turn, each of them eager to assist the young Gem in his altruistic plan, even if it was a rather risky one. And though Garnet seemed to hold her ground at first, against all four of the kids hopeful smiles at once, she ultimately found she was no match whatsoever. 

“Why did you agree to this?” Pearl asked Garnet as they all filed into the temple’s bubble room moments later. 

“I lost a battle of wills,” the Gem leader said plainly. 

“So, who are we healing up first?” Mabel asked, eagerly running into the room as she pointed out a handful of bubbled Gems. “Ooo, what about this one? Oh! Or we could try her, I bet she’ll be a ton of fun when she isn’t corrupted anymore!”

Despite these spirited suggestions, however, Steven already had his sights set on one bubbled Gem in particular. With a floating leap, he was easily able to catch the bubble and bring it down to its level, looking over it with a small, hopeful smile. “And gotcha!”

“Hey, isn’t that…?”

“Yeah,” Steven answered Dipper’s unfinished question with a sincere nod. “It’s Centipeetle. If I can help any of them, I want to help her first.”

“Oh, isn’t she that monster we fought at the beginning of the summer?” Connie asked, intrigued. 

“Yeah, but also she totally saved us from turning into dino-chow,” Amethyst pointed out. “Oh, speaking of chow, don’t forget about these!” She summoned her whip to pull down another bubble, one that had been hanging next to Centipeetle’s with a familiar bag of chips in it. 

“Chaaaaps!” Steven exclaimed excitedly as he unbubbled the snack. “They’re her favorite! Okay,” he said, taking in a deep, determined breath as he looked to the others. “Everybody ready?”

Garnet nodded, giving him the go-ahead while Amethyst and Pearl braced themselves, stepping protectively in front of Dipper, Mabel, and Connie just in case. With everyone in place, Steven gently popped the pink bubble, allowing Centipeetle’s spherical gemstone to hover free from it, glowing all the while as the monster began to take its form. 

“Come on, dude, do your thing!” Amethyst encouraged eagerly. 

“You’ve got this, Steven!” Dipper added just as supportively. 

“Put that sparkly spit of yours to the test!” Mabel chimed in with a bright cheer. 

“B-but be careful about it!” Pearl advised anxiously. 

Amidst all this, Steven landed a hearty, wet lick across his hand and, just as Centipeetle’s monstrous body was starting to fully take shape, he placed that hand squarely on her gemstone. The stone sparkled radiently, Steven’s healing magic flowing through it as Centipeetle’s silhouetted form shifted completely. Her long, mandibled body grew smaller, much more humanoid as her many tiny legs became a single pair of normally-proportioned arms and legs each. By the time her transformation was seemingly complete, Centipeetle collapsed to the ground, resting on her hands and knees as everyone else started at the incredible change she had just undergone in dumbfounded awe. 

“I-is it working?” Pearl dared to ask, catching the apparently healed Gem’s attention. 

However, as she suddenly turned around, it was clear to see that Centipeetle hadn’t been as healed as she might have seemed. She retained her thick mane of white hair, as well as the singular eye that was her gemstone, but just below that was a smaller version of the fanged beak she had when she was fully monstrous. In addition, she had kept a few other insect-like features, namely her pinchered abdomen protruding from behind her, but other than that, she looked decently healed. Physically speaking, at least as she let out a loud, unintelligible shriek of alarm. 

“Boy, did it ever work!” Mabel grinned, sharing Steven’s immediate excitement over Centipeetle’s strange new form. 

“What? No, it didn’t,” Dipper noted incredulously. 

“I mean, it sort of worked…?” Connie said with a diffident shrug. “She isn’t completely a monster anymore, but…”

“Centi! You’re back!” Steven filled the awkward bout of silence that followed this in. Despite the whispered warnings both Amethyst and Pearl sent his way, the young Gem hurried forward to greet the former monster, chips in hand, though he quickly stopped as soon as Centipeetle met him with a harsh, sudden hiss. “Whoa! What’s the matter?” he frowned, approaching her much more carefully as she cowered away from him. “You want some Chaaaps?”

“Uh… I don’t think she remembers them…” Amethyst spoke up as Centipeetle let out another angry squawk. 

“Forget the chips then,” Steven pushed the bubbled bag of Chaaaps back up into the air as he addressed Centipeetle patiently. “You remember me, don’t you?” Though she didn’t react as fiercely to this, Centipeetle still tilted her head in confusion as her singular eye stared him down unknowingly. “I… have a bad feeling this didn’t work how I wanted it to work…”

“You think?” Dipper said, crossing his arms. 

“Aw, well… at least you still tried,” Connie smiled sympathetically. “And hey, something’s better than nothing, right?”

“I don’t know what you guys are talking about,” Mabel placed her hands on her hips. “I think Centi looks better than ever!”

“Better… but not all the way better,” Steven said, taking another step toward the confused semi-corrupted Gem. 

“W-wait! Don’t go closer!” Pearl cautioned nervously. 

“Maybe she just needs a little extra love!” Steven suggested, refusing to give up so easily. Fortunately, Centipeetle didn’t lash out to attack him as he leaned in to plant another brief kiss on her gemstone. However, it did little to heal her as she instead reeled back, closing her eye tightly as she covered it with both hands, growling in both pain and annoyance all the while. “Oops! S-sorry…” Steven let out a small, anxious chuckle as he reached out to help Centipeetle back up. 

“Hm…” Garnet mused as she watched Steven and Cenitpeedle’s interactions from afar. “This is the best we’ve ever seen it work.”

“But it didn’t work,” Pearl countered. “I guess it’ll take more than a kiss to heal damage from the Diamonds…”

“But why?” Steven turned to the Gems with a fretful frown. “My healing powers have been working great lately. I-I should be able to do this.”

“It’s alright, Steven,” Pearl reassured earnestly. “Remember, she’s not cracked; she’s corrupted, and that’s something different, something nearly… impossible to describe. U-unless it’s by a Gem who’s actually been through it.”

“But, ya know, most of the Gems who have…” Amethyst nodded up at the countless bubbled Gems above them. “Aren’t really doing a ton of describing these days…”

“It’s sort of like… if MC Bear-Bear didn’t just tear the fabric of his arm,” Garnet explained as accurately as she could. “But the fabric of his mind.”

“Whoa…” Mabel gaped, mistified by such a deep explanation. 

“That’s… kind of horrifying,” Dipper shuddered, unnerved. 

“I guess it’s times like these when being a human really has its perks,” Connie said offhandedly. “At least something like that couldn’t happen to any of us.”

Garnet adjusted her shades upon hearing this, her future vision nearly catching a glimpse of something, though it flashed by far too fast for her to really make anything of. So instead, she shook her head to clear it before addressing the apprehensive young Gem once more. “Steven, I’m impressed with your ability to bring the Centipeetle this far, but it’s time to let her rest again. Amethyst-”

“Uh, sure,” the purple Gem shrugged, summoning her whip again. “I’ll poof her.”

“W-wait!” Steven protested, hurrying to shield Centipeetle as she curiously looked over her new form through a reflection on the wall. “She’s not a monster anymore!”

“Here,” Garnet pulled Steven close, pressing his face against her as she extended a hand out to the other kids as well. “You don’t have to watch. Same goes for the rest of you kids.”

Though Mabel was really the only one to take her up on that offer, Steven suddenly pushed himself away from the Gem leader to rush back over to Centipeetle. “No, please! She can walk, a-and talk! Just like you guys!” Surprisingly, Centipeetle chimed in with a contented squeak, her maw forming something that almost seemed like a smile as she turned back to face Steven. “See?”

“Aw, how can you guys say no to that face?” Mabel said, sending the Gems the same pleading look Steven was. 

“Yeah, she doesn’t really seem like she’s that dangerous anymore…” Dipper agreed. 

“Definitely not as dangerous as she was the day the four of us met,” Connie said with a small, fond chuckle. 

“See? Centi was the one who brought us together in the first place,” Steven said, motioning between himself, Connie, Dipper, and Mabel. “M-maybe she wasn’t the nicest back then, but she’s our friend now! I helped her--we helped her this much; maybe we can help her more. We have to try, I made a promise! Please?”

The Gems exchanged an uneasy glance at this, none of them too keen on the idea of letting a corrupted Gem, even a semi-corrupted one like Centipeetle, simply run around unrestrained, especially around the kids. And yet, even despite her strange form and unpredictable behavior, for the most part Cenitpeedle seemed much calmer and more civilized than she had been before, even if she was still rather skittish and couldn’t quite communicate in anything other than squawks and hisses. But what really broke through their hesitancy was the kids, all four of whom were staring up at them pleadingly in their shared resolve to do whatever they could to help Centipeetle even more than they already had. 

So the Gems let out a unified relenting groan as they lost a second battle of wills, much to the kids’ mixed relief and excitement. Still, that didn’t mean that the Gems didn’t have any dissention toward this newfound haphazard arrangement. “S-so what are we going to do with her?” Pearl asked, wincing as she stole another glance over at the semi-corrupted Gem. “Let her move in?”

“Aw, yeah!” Amethyst cheered, in favor of the idea. “Corrupted roommate!”

“Oh, Amethyst, be sensitive,” the white Gem rolled her eyes. 

“Oo! She could stay down at the shack!” Mabel suggested enthusiastically. 

“Wait, what?” Dipper looked at his sister incredulously. 

“Yeah! I bet Mr. Pines will love having Centi as a house guest!” Steven readily agreed. 

“I bet he won’t,” Dipper interjected once more. 

“That’s what makes it funny,” Amethyst chuckled, amused. 

“Well… it’s better than her staying here, I suppose…” Pearl muttered, aside. 

“Wherever she stays, whether it’s here or at the Mystery Shack,” Garnet spoke up, evenly catching all four of the kids’ attention. “You kids need to be careful with her. She can stay unbubbled, but you must understand: some Gems are beyond our help.”

While the kids didn’t exactly have much of a plan to help completely cure Centipeetle of her corruption, they were still largely optimistic that they could all the same. Though the Gems still had some reservations, Steven managed to convince them to allow the semi-corrupted Gems to accompany him and the other kids down to the Mystery Shack. And though she was certainly much more tame than the animalistic way she’d been before, it was clear that Centipeetle still wasn’t exactly used to being out and about as the kids did their best to coax her out of the house alone. 

“It’s ok, Centi,” Steven urged patiently as he held the door open for her. “We’re just gonna take a nice walk down to the Mystery Shack. How does that sound?”

Centipeetle let out an uncertain chirp at this as she lingered behind the doorway, nervously peering out from it. Her curiosity soon turned to terror, however, as a sudden breeze happened to blow by, tousling the semi-corrupted Gem’s hair and catching her off guard completely. She stumbled back, eventually falling to the floor as she shrieked in alarm, even as the gentle wind started to die down outside. 

“Whoa, hey! It’s ok!” Connie hurried to the Centipeetle’s side to calm her down. “That was just the wind. It’s nothing to be afraid of, even if it’s something you can’t see.” 

Centipeetle eased up at this, clumsily picking herself back up to stand as she attempted to venture outside once more. This time when the wind blew by her, however, she cowered much less than she had before as she actually managed to step out to join the others on the porch. “Yeah! Way to go, Centi!” Mabel cheered, though her excitement was completely lost on Centipeetle as she shrunk back in fear once more. 

“Mabel, not so loud!” Dipper chastised. “You’re scaring her.”

“Oops! Sorry! I meant--way to go, Centi!” Mabel tried again, this time in a cheery whisper.

“Ok, Centi--Oh,” Steven stopped short as he led the way down the stairs. “I guess that’s not really your name. What should we call you?” Centipeetle answered in a series of unintelligible chirps, one that left all four of the kids staring at her, dumbfounded. “Oh, right, can’t talk…” Steven rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. 

“Maybe we could try to guess your name,” Mabel suggested. “What about… Lindsay?” 

“Mabel, that’s not a Gem name,” Dipper said flatly as Centipeetle shook her head. “It’d probably be something more like… Oh, I dunno, she’s green, so… Emerald?” 

Once again, Centipeetle made a face, obviously not a fan of that name either. “Well, there are plenty of green gemstones out there,” Connie noted. “I picked up a book on different gemstone types awhile back for… reasons. So, off the top of my head, I can think of… Jade, Tourmaline-”

“Peridot, but we’ve already got one of those!” Mabel chimed in. 

“Demantoid, Aventurine, Nephrite-” Centipeetle suddenly cut off Connie’s list with a loud squeal, which she paired with hopping up and down on the balls of her feet as soon as she reached the bottom of the stairs. The kids exchanged a curious look at this, none of them really knowing what to make of it until Steven spoke up. 

“Well, that can’t be it,” he frowned, not noticing Centipeetle’s disgruntled sigh. “We’ll just stick with Centi for now, ok? Just like we did before. Do you remember any of that?” he asked Centipeetle with a hopeful smile. “That time you saved me from a crow, or how you took on that pterodactyl baby, or how we helped the Gems electrocute--uh, actually, do forget that one.”

Centipeetle tilted her head in confusion, though her singular eye suddenly shot wide with alarm as she stumbled back into the porch staircase. The kids didn’t understand where this newfound bout of fear was coming from until she pointed a shaking hand past them to the animal that was peacefully grazing several feet away. “Oh, that’s only a deer,” Dipper explained to Centipeetle. “Don’t worry; it won’t hurt you. In fact, it’s more likely to run away from you than do anything else, see?” Sure enough, by now the deer had noticed the group standing nearby and had taken off, bounding back into the woods it had come from. By now, Centipeetle’s fear had turned into intrigue as she attempted following the deer, only to stop short as she stumbled across something else that caught her eye instead. 

“Whatcha got there, Centi?” Steven asked, walking over to where the semi-corrupted Gem had knelt down. She chirped brightly as she pointed out a patch of pink wildflowers, apparently fascinated by them as she turned back toward them. “Oh! Those are some really pretty flowers! Here, hold tight for just a second.” Centipeetle continued to curiously watch as Steven picked a few of the flowers, tying them together into a simple, yet fashionable crown, which he proceeded to place on the semi-corrupted Gem’s head. “Tada! It’s for you! Do you like it?” 

Centipeetle did seem to enjoy the flower crown as she cooed happily, though she kept trying to really look up at it to no avail. “Oh, you wanna see how you look?” Mabel inferred, grabbing her hand. “Well, c’mon! You can check out your fab new style right here.” She led Centipeetle over to the nearby stream, allowing her to get a full and proper view of how the flower crown looked on her. The semi-corrupted Gem managed a satisfied smile as she looked at her reflection, though that reflection was soon broken by the small fish that happened to briefly jump out of the water. Centipeetle flinched, afraid, as she fell back into the grass, her flower crown landing right beside her. “Aw, Centi! No need to freak out!” Mabel chuckled as she repositioned the flower crown on her head. “That was just a cute little fish! It can’t hurt you. Well, unless we’re talking about some of the big boys out in the ocean, cause something like a shark isn’t exactly the kind of fish you wanna-” She stopped short upon meeting Centipeetle’s nervous expression once more. “Uh… you know what? Never mind.”

“Boy,” Connie grinned as the semi-corrupted Gem peered back into the stream for another look. “She sure is curious, huh?”

“She must not have gotten to see a whole lot of the Earth before she was corrupted…” Steven frowned sympathetically. 

“Speaking of which, I’ve been thinking,” Dipper interjected. “If we really want to help her uncorrupt completely, then maybe what we need to do first is figure out how she was corrupted in the first place and work from there.”

“Didn’t Pearl say something about ‘damage from the Diamonds’?” Connie mused. “What kind of damage could they have done to cause something like… well, what happened to her?”

Centipeetle turned at this, though she quickly froze, her eye going wide as she stared at something beyond the kids gathered before her. A piercing, downright terrified screech escaped her, catching the others completely off guard as they all turned their attention back to her. “What’s the matter?” Steven asked, placing a gentle hand against her arm, which was trembling every bit as much as the rest of her body. “Are you ok? A-are you remembering something?”

Centipeetle reacted harshly, clutching her head tightly as she closed her eye, screaming all the while. She somehow managed to get back to her feet, looking to the sky once again as she finally pointed a shaking finger at what had her so scared to begin with. 

Despite the summer skies being crystal clear, a large, bright golden star had seemed to take up a place within them. It shined brightly, clashing with the familiar blue atmosphere, and while the mere sight of it outright horrified Centipeetle, the kids largely had no idea what the cause for alarm really was at all. “Uh… what is that?” Dipper asked, somewhat unnerved. 

“Maybe it’s like one of those jet plane thingies you always see in the sky super early in the morning?” Mabel suggested. “Only the pilot on this one woke up way later than he should have.”

“That doesn’t look like any jet I’ve ever seen, even from a distance,” Connie shook her head. 

Steven, meanwhile, was largely distracted by Centipeetle, who was looking around in just about every direction, seemingly trying to find some way to escape. “Whoa, Centi, i-it’s alright,” he advised, grabbing her hand. “You don’t have anything to be afraid of when you’re with us!” The semi-corrupted monster was hardy listening however, as she looked back to the “star” once more. It flashed brightly, but briefly, and that alone was to throw her already palpable alarm into an all-out panic. With a manic screech, she pulled her hand out of Steven’s and took off, running off into the forest as fast as her newly-reformed legs would carry her. “W-wait!” the young Gem called, intending on running after her until Connie reigned him back in. 

“Uh, S-steven?” she grabbed his arm, directing his attention up to the “star” once more. By now it was practically burning yellow in the sky, yet it hadn’t moved, hadn’t done much at all until it suddenly dialated dramatically. 

And then, before anyone had any time to say or do anything else, it exploded. 

A bright, blinding golden light flooded the entire area, spreading out far and wide across all of Gravity Falls at a supersonic speed. It overtook nearly everything, from the temple to the shack to the forest to downtown, even as far as the lake and the outlying countryside, all centralized solely on the tiny timberwood town itself. In its wake it covered everyone, humans, Gems, and magical or mythical creatures alike (though only one group among those three would emerge from it unscathed). And as it shined upon them all, if its overpowering, devastating radiance hadn’t momentarily defeated them, they might have heard the briefest bout of twisted laughter, accompanied by a single voice raised in vengeful song. 

And just as quickly as the light had come, it was over. It faded, leaving the sky crisp and clear and blue once again. Slowly, nature reawakened after being so sharply silenced as gentle birdsong filled in the late morning air once more. That quiet din was what first roused Steven, who sat up slowly, placing a careful hand against his now-aching head as he did. And yet, before he could even really get his bearings back, the first thing he happened to notice was that his hair strangely didn’t feel much like hair at all. Rather, it had a much softer, lighter texture, almost akin to flower petals, which made the fact that his fingers were seemingly much sharper than he knew they should have been all the more bewildering. Confused as he was, he tried to stand, though as soon as he got to his feet, he received a sudden, involuntary boost into the air. Briefly, he thought he’d accidentally activated his floating powers, until he happened to notice the series of sturdy green vines that were somehow propping him up. 

“Huh?” Steven frowned, glancing back only to see that the vines didn’t just seem to be coming from behind him, but from him. They sprouted from his back, and a few of the more thorny ones had twisted themselves around his arms and legs, though those thorns didn’t dig into his skin, which was an odd shade of pale pink. “W-what is all this…?” he wondered to himself, briefly glancing up from himself to look around. The first thing he realized was that Centipeetle was nowhere to be found, having run off into the woods just moments prior, a thought that worried Steven far more than his current peculiar condition did. “Oh no! Centi!” he gasped, alarmed as he searched for any sign of her. “Where are-”

“Ugh… Steven…?” The young Gem immediately stopped short as soon as he heard Dipper’s voice somewhere nearby. Despite his attempts at turning around, the vines suddenly did so for him as they somehow moved on their own accord. Still, Steven ignored how startling the vines, the thorns, and even the surprisingly sharp claws he now had were, in favor of checking on the others instead. 

“Dipper! Are you ok--Ohhhhh my gosh!” Steven’s jaw dropped in shock as soon as he actually looked at Dipper, who had just started to partially pull himself up off the ground. 

As he did, however, he clearly noticed something was off, particularly about the texture and shape of his nose and ears. “W-what is…” Dipper trailed off as he tried to properly sit up, only to not receive the sort of usual feedback he would have expected from his legs. “Why… why can’t I-” He cut himself off with a sharp, frightened gasp as soon as he so much as caught sight of the lower half of his body. Because by all accounts, it looked identical to that of a deer’s, complete with not just two, but four long, lithe, thin legs, brown fur spotted with specks of white on his back, and even a tiny tail that was currently twitching out of immense agitation. As he fully took in this inexplicable shift, Dipper let out a tight, terrified cry that didn’t sound exactly human, though he didn’t seem to care as he gripped his front set of legs to confirm that they were, in fact, actually his. “W-what’s going on?!” 

“Whoa, Dipper!” Steven exclaimed in equal awe as he leaned forward as much as the vines would allow. “You’re like… some kind of deer-centaur! A deertaur!”

“Ok, two things,” Dipper said crossly amidst trying to position his new, rather awkward set of legs to stand. “One, I’m pretty sure that’s not what this is called and two... WHAT? WHY? HOW? What happened to me?! What happened to you?! What’s with all the vines? Why does your hair look like a bouquet?”

“It does…?” Steven frowned, reaching up to thumb one of the “petals” that now apparently made up his hair. “Huh.”

“Seriously, what happened?” Dipper reiterated as he made his first real attempt at standing up. And yet, as unused to his strange new form as he was, balancing on his feet, or hooves, rather, proved to be quite a challenge as he unsteadily wobbled before ultimately falling right back to the ground clumsily. “And why a deer?!” he let out a small, frustrated huff through his now pert, black nose. “It’s not even like they’re even my favorite animal or anything! This makes no sense!”

“W-well, if it’s any consolation,” Steven began with a small, reassuring smile. “You do look pretty cute like this.”

Dipper flinched at this, but said nothing in response as he crossed his arms and glared away, blushing, at least until he picked up on something else. “Hey, wait a second, where’s-”

“Oy, what smells like fish…?” Mabel suddenly spoke up as she finally started to wake up herself. She let out a long yawn, not noticing the dumbfounded looks Steven and Dipper were both sending her way as they realized she’d also gone through an unnatural transformation. For her own part, however, it took Mabel a moment or two to register that transformation as she sat up and stared directly at the scaly pink finned tail that had taken the place of her legs. “Huh… Well that’s new,” she noted, glancing over her now-webbed hands before balking at her tail again with a huge gasp. “OH MY GOSH!” she practically screamed, stars in her eyes as she hugged her tail excitedly. “I’m a mer-ACK!” Mabel sucked in another sharp gasp, an involuntary one this time as her breathing grew short and shallow, her eyes widening in panic as she gripped her throat frantically. 

“Mabel!” Steven and Dipper both exclaimed in concerned alarm. On impulse, Dipper rushed to get up to help her, completely forgetting about the current state of his legs until he inevitably ended up tripping and faceplanting right back into the grass again. He didn’t let that stop him however, as he prepared to try again, he happened to catch sight of something Mabel apparently hadn’t as she haphazardly threw off her sweater so she could breathe easier. “Gills…” he gasped in realization. “She has gills! She can’t breathe! Steven, she needs water! B-but I can’t-”

“I’m on it!” Steven readily agreed, his vines moving in accordance with him this time. It was almost as if they knew exactly what he was thinking as they kept him propped up, essentially “walking” him over to Mabel, who was still gasping and choking on air that wouldn’t do anything for her now. While Steven tried to help her himself, the vines did that for him too as their tips gently coiled around her arms before they swiftly pulled her into the nearby creek, submerging her completely. 

Both Steven and Dipper waited for an anxious beat for Mabel to emerge from the relatively shallow water, though when she did, she let out a rejuvenated sigh of relief as she perched herself against the side of the creek. “Ah! Much better!” she grinned happily, splashing more water against the small pink gills on her neck. “Guess I just needed to wet my whistle! So, whaaaaaaaaaaaaa-?!” By now, Mabel finally noticed just what had happened to Dipper and Steven, and as soon as she did, a huge, delighted smile broke out across her face. “Ohhhhhh, Steven! Dipper! You guys look so adorable!”

“Uh, thanks?” Steven chuckled.��

“Ugh, this is just gonna keep getting more and more embarrassing, isn’t it?” Dipper scoffed, dryly. 

“Embarrassing? Bro-bro, what are you talking about? This is amazing!” Mabel proclaimed, flopping back into the creek behind her so she could admire her tail fins noce more. “Check it out! I’m totally a mermaid! Oh, if only Mermando was still here! We could be the cutest mer-couple ever, and have mer-babies, and live in a mer-castle under the sea! And sing mer-songs all day!”

“Yeesh,” Dipper rolled his eyes at his sister’s flights of fantasy. “You would enjoy this, Mabel.”

“Hey, has anyone seen Connie?” Steven asked, glancing around in newfound concern. “I haven’t seen her since all this happened. Do you think maybe she could have gone after Centi when she ran off?”

“What are you talking about, Steven? I’ve been here this whole time!”

Steven, Mabel, and Dipper alike all froze up at this, each of them looking around for Connie upon hearing her voice, only to find no sign of her anywhere. That is, until she happened to reappear out of nowhere right in front of Steven. All three of the other kids let out a startled round of alarm at this, though Connie didn’t share it as she let out a small sigh of relief instead. 

“Ah, finally you guys can actually see and hear me!” she exclaimed as she hovered up into the air a bit. “I’ve been trying to talk to you for the past several minutes, but it’s like you all just kept staring right through me!”

“Aw, sorry, Connie!” Steven apologized earnestly. “We didn’t mean to! But I couldn’t see you until now, much less hear you!”

“C-Connie?” Dipper spoke up, trembling slightly until he caught himself doing so. “A-are you… I-I… I don’t know how to say this, but… I-I think you might be-”

“Oh! A ghost!” Mabel guessed bluntly. “I got it right, didn’t I?”

“What? A ghost?” Connie shook her head incredulously. For her part, she largely looked the same as she always did, though like Mabel, her legs had been traded in for a tail, albeit one that wasn’t anywhere near as fish-like. But even beyond that, she had taken on a pale blue parlor, her entire body being more or less completely translucent as it radiated with a dull, unearthly sort of glow. That, paired with the fact that she was able to float above the ground freely, added up to far too much evidence for anything else to really be true, as much as Connie wished something else was. “Oh my gosh, I-I think you guys are right! I-I really am a ghost! B-but why? And how--wait, no, I don’t even want to think about how! A-anyway, w-what happened to you guys? To all of us?!”

“I think I know what happened,” Mabel said as she pushed herself up out of the stream a bit. 

“Really?” Dipper asked, skeptical as Steven began to use his vines to help him properly stand. “You know what happened to us when none of the rest of us do?”

“Of course, I do,” Mabel grinned proudly. “We all got turned into totally awesome magical creatures! I mean, think about it: I’m a super sparkly mermaid (with a tail in my favorite shade of pink, might I add!). Connie’s a really cool ghost why can fly and turn invisible-”

“I don’t know if I’d call either of those things ‘cool’ in this instance…” Connie frowned as she accidentally phased her intangible hands into each other. 

“Steven’s, uh… w-well he’s some sort of flower… guy… person… thing…” Mabel ventured, uncertain. “B-but that’s awesome, since pink is totally your color.”

“Oh, you think so?” Steven grinned, looking down at his light pink arm with a newfound sense of fondness. 

“And Dipper is a super cute deertaur!”

“Again, I’m 100% positive that’s not what it’s called,” Dipper spoke up as he stomped one of his hooves down in annoyance. “Also, would everyone please stop calling me cute?!”

“Maybe once you stop being cute,” Mabel chuckled with a teasing smirk. 

“Which will be never!” Steven added much more earnestly. 

“Ugh, look,” Dipper began, addressing the enthused pair evenly. “I don’t know if you guys realize this, but this is serious. We just got turned into monsters, or magical creatures, or whatever, completely out of the blue. Something like this doesn’t just happen, not even here in Gravity Falls. Something caused this, and we need to figure out what it was so we can find a way to undo it and get all of us back to normal.”

“Aw, but I like being a magical mermaid!” Mabel pouted. 

“Do you like not being able to breathe outside of the water?” Dipper countered flatly.

Mabel flinched, recalling the frightening experience she’d just been through moments ago, an experience she certainly wasn’t keen on going through again anytime soon. “I… see your point.”

“Maybe that star had something to do with it…” Connie mused, looking up to the now-empty sky. “It was the last thing any of us saw before we woke up like this, right?”

“Oh, yeah,” Steven agreed as his vines formed something of a seat for him to recline on. “Oh, thanks!” he said to the vines themselves before returning to the matter at hand. “Plus, Centi seemed to be really scared of that star. She might even know what it was! Maybe if we can find her, then she can-”

A sudden thunderous clamor cut through the conversation like a knife, a clamor that came from the temple, to be precise. The chaotic noise only amplified as the front door burst open and, as opposed to any of the Gems, what seemed to be a monster jumped outside instead. It wasn’t very large, though it was just a bit bigger than the kids, with a purple, bulky four-legged form and a full, thick mane of lighter lavender hair. It unleashed what sounded like a wild howl as it pounced off the porch, its clawed front arms allowing it a square landing on the ground. It didn’t seem to have any eyes, with a set of bright purple horns in place of where they would have been, but it still managed to spot the kids gathered just a bit down the hill from it. The monster’s toothy maw split into an expression that was almost akin to a grin as it made an animalistic sound that sounded a bit like a laugh, though it was still completely unintelligible. Its apparent excitement prompted it to stampede toward the group at a rapid pace, much to their shared alarm,, and at least in two cases, outright fear. 

While Mabel and Steven simply gasped in surprise as the monster rushed for them, Connie completely disappeared into thin air, not even making a single sound or uttering so much as a word as she did. Dipper, on the other hand, froze up, his eyes wide but his expression otherwise largely vacant and unreadable. And as the monster drew even closer, he suddenly took off, somehow completely capable of using his new legs, which he couldn’t even properly stand on mere moments ago, galloping at full speed into the nearby woods. Mabel let out a startled cry as she watched him easily leap over the stream she was sitting in before he disappeared into the forest just before the monster could arrive.

“Wait! Dipper!” she called, frustrated by her inability to get out of the water to go after him. Both her and Steven were met with an all-new concern, however, as the monster suddenly slammed down right in front of them, focusing on the young Gem in particular as it reared low with a small growl. 

“S-Stay back!” Steven warned, summoning his shield to ward off the beast. The monster leapt at him anyway, however, barreling into him and knocking him to the ground, even despite his vines trying to keep him upright. The young Gem braced himself for a vicious attack as his shield disappeared, yet instead, he was met with a sudden, wet lick from the beast’s large tongue. “Huh?” Steven frowned, looking back up to the monster, who still had him pinned down, but was now panting happily. Though he was already confused, his bewilderment only grew tenfold as he happened to notice the very familiar purple gemstone resting on the monster’s chest amidst her unruly tufts of hair. “Wait… A-Amethyst?!”

The beast nodded vigorously, finally stepping away from the young Gem as her long, messy tail wagged excitedly. While his vines picked him back up above the ground once more, Steven exchanged an uncertain glance with Mabel before he looked to who he could only assume had to be Amethyst once more. “D-Did… you shapeshift to look like this?” 

Amethyst shook her head, apparently unable to properly speak. She turned her attention back up to the temple, where another monster seemed to be stomping out, though it was much easier to discern the identity of this one from its appearance alone. 

“Garnet?!” Mabel and Steven exclaimed in shock as the creature the Gem leader had turned into jumped down from the porch to join them. There was no mistaking her, namely because of her pair of heads, one of which bore semblance to Ruby in coloration, though the only feature of her face was a fanged maw, while her other head was clearly Sapphire with her singular eye and long blue hair. The rest of her body was much more akin to Garnet herself, though quite twisted, her arms massive and muscular as they reached down as long as her much shorter legs did, her huge clawed hands acting more as her main form of transportation as she slowly lumbered forward. She towered high over Amethyst and the kids, letting out a low, inhuman groan that almost seemed to be a greeting, though despite her admittedly mangled appearance, she seemed just as calm as she always was. 

“Garnet… Amethyst...” Steven looked between the monstrous pair, quite shaken. “W-what happened to you? And… where’s Pearl?”

This question was met with a sharp, high pitched squeak from above as a large shadow briefly covered up the sun. That shadow had been cast by a large, majestic bird-like creature, one that nervously touched down to join Garnet and Amethyst. There was no question this was Pearl, from the tell-tell gemstone on her now-eyeless head, resting just above the long, pointed beak she now bore. Her form was sleek and graceful, with a thin, curved, swan-like neck, wide, sweeping peach and white feathered wings and a set of long, narrow legs that carried the same spiraled design as her spears. Pearl let out another unintelligible shriek, one of apparent surprise as she caught sight of Steven and Mabel, her wings flapping anxiously, at least until she heard Amethyst’s amused gruff cackle beside her. The white Gem shrieked shrilly at her in annoyance, though she merely kept on “laughing”, at least until Garnet silenced them both with a heavy, commanding grunt. 

“No way…” Steven shook his head incredulously. “I-it really is you guys! A-are… are you… corrupted?” 

All three of the Gems reacted to such a claim in shock, Pearl fiercely shaking her head as Amethyst tilted her head, confused. Garnet remained still and silent, though after a moment of thought, both of her contrasting heads finally nodded, much to the shock of her teammates. An argument of various squawks, roars, and groans erupted at this as the Gems “communicated” with each other, though neither Steven nor Mabel could even hope to make out what they were trying to say. 

“This is so weird…” Mabel frowned, leaning against the creekbank. “Aren’t corrupted Gems supposed to be all wild and crazy? Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl are just… acting like themselves.”

“Maybe they’re not entirely corrupted?” Connie purposed as she suddenly reappeared, catching Steven and Mabel off guard. “O-oh! Sorry! I really gotta learn how to control this whole randomly disappearing thing better…”

“But… why do they still look like monsters?” Steven wondered, catching the attention of his guardians. “I know you guys can’t really… talk right now, but… you can still understand what we’re saying right?” All three of the Gems nodded, though what little their malformed expressions alone could convey told they were just as baffled and concerned as the kids themselves were. “So… you’re all basically half-corrupted then… just like Centi! Man, I really wish she hadn’t run off earlier; she’d be so much in figuring all this out!”

“Speaking of running off…” Mabel said, turning back toward the forest. “It’s ok, bro-bro, everything’s cool! You can come out now! There’s nothing to be afraid of out here.”

“I-I wasn’t afraid!” Dipper protested as he peeked out from the tree he had taken refuge behind. “I-it was just really loud and a lot of things were happening at once and I… might have panicked. J-just a little!”

“Well, deer do have a reputation for having a pretty sharp flight response whenever they get startled, so that might explain it,” Connie pointed out. 

“Ugh, great…” Dipper sighed as he fully emerged from the forest. “Just another reason to find a way to get us all back to normal as soon as possible. Especially for you guys,” he said, flinching as he looked to the Gems in particular. “You three look--uh… y-you look great!” he played off whatever he was going to say with a nervous laugh. The Gems didn’t quite buy it however as Amethyst teasingly stuck her tongue out while Pearl squawked, apparently flustered as she nudged one of her wings with her beak. 

“Wait a minute,” Connie interjected. “If that star, or whatever it was, somehow transformed all of us, then… maybe we weren’t the only ones affected by it…”

Everyone else took pause at this alarming thought, especially as they all happened to look down the hill toward the Mystery Shack. As they did, Dipper and Mabel in particular exchanged a nervous glance as they both considered exactly who else could be going through the exact same thing they currently were experiencing. “You don’t think…?”

Unsure of what they’d find, once the group of monster-turned kids and externally-corrupted Gems arrived at the Mystery Shack, Connie volunteered to head in first since she could more or less slip in unseen to scope things out. The only problem that arose with this came from Amethyst, who suddenly, impulsively decided to join her right as she floated toward the gift shop door. Connie stopped just as Amethyst rammed into the door horns-first, easily breaking down as she stormed in, eager to find Stan and show him her new form, much to the alarm of everyone else outside. Pearl let out a frantic squeal as Garnet slammed one of her heavy hands to the ground in an attempt to reel Amethyst back in, though the purple Gem, rowdy as ever, hardly paid them any mind. Likewise, the kids also watched with concern as she rushed inside, ensuing a chaotic clamor almost immediately as she haphazardly crashed into several display cases and quickly catching Stan’s attention, just as she’d intended. 

“Augh!” the conman shouted furiously from inside. “What in the--wait, Amethyst?! N-no, no, no, no! You better not--” He was cut off by another huge crash, one that promoted Pearl and Garnet into action while the kids stood by just a bit past the door. 

“Oh man, I wish we could see what’s going on in there!” Mabel exclaimed, leaning out of the small swimming pool Steven and Dipper were filling up for her. “I bet Grunkle Stan is totally freaking out!”

“Uh… I don’t know if that’s entirely accurate…” Connie frowned as she peered into the shack just as Amethyst scurried out of it, laughing all the while. Likewise, Garnet and Pearl both stumbled back themselves as Stan tried to burst out of the shack, revealing that, much like the kids, he’d gone through a rather monstrous transformation himself. 

By all accounts, it seemed as though the conman’s skin had turned to moving stone based on its rough, gray texture. Beyond that, both his fingers and his tones bore sharp, talon-like claws as he sported a small set of stony horns just above his now acutely pointed ears. But his two most notable new features were his eyes, which seemed to shine a bright, almost ominous kind of yellow, and the wide set of pointed wings on his back, which were currently caught on the doorframe, essentially holding him in place as he angrily tried chasing after Amethyst. “Ugh, again? Seriously?” the conman growled in annoyance as he somehow managed to retract his wings in a bit. “I’m already sick of these stupid things. And as for you, Amethyst, I--aye, yi, yi…” Stan trailed off, shock overtaking his expression as he noticed Pearl and Garnet’s changed forms too. “Yeesh, and I thought I had it bad between the new wings and the horns. You three look terrible!”

Pearl let out a harsh, offended hiss at this, though Garnet didn’t really respond. Amethyst however, let out a teasing roar, one that Stan didn’t seem to follow at all. “Uh… what, are you guys done speakin’ English or do you just expect me to understand ‘monsterese’ now?” he asked dryly. 

“Uh, actually, Mr. Pines,” Steven spoke up. “They can’t really… ‘talk’ right now…”

At this, Stan stole a glance over at the kids, only to balk in bewilderment at each of them in turn. “W-wha… what the heck happened to you kids?!” he asked, stepping over toward them. “Dipper--or Steven, I don’t care who since either of you if not both is usually behind anything wacky or magical happening around here--explain. Now.”

“We would if we actually understood what happened to begin with,” Dipper replied, crossing his arms.

“Well you better figure it out!” Stan snapped, irritated. “Cause I don’t know how you expect me to send you runts home to your parents with you looking half like a deer while your sister’s flopping around like a fish outta water.”

“Aw, it doesn’t sound anywhere near as magical and cool when you put being a mermaid like that…” Mabel cringed as she popped her head out of the water after refilling her gills. 

“You won’t have to send us home looking like this,” Dipper countered, resolved. “Because we’re going to find a way to undo all of this and get everyone back to normal.”

“Yeah!” Steven, Mabel, and Connie all chimed in support of this plan. 

“Oh really? That’s awesome, dudes!” Soos exclaimed as he stepped outside of the shack. Upon a first glance, he seemed to look just as he always did with no peculiar transformation in sight, at least until a piece of his arm quite literally melted right off. 

“Uh… Soos?” Steven spoke up, all four of the kids looking to the handyman in immense concern. 

“Oops,” Soos scooped up the strangely mouldable clump of his arm and easily slapped it back on as if it had never fallen off to begin with. “I’ll tell ya what, being made of clay may seem like it has its perks, but it’s starting to get way less cool the more times a chunk of me randomly melts off…”

“Could you at least stop melting all over the shack?” Stan asked dryly. “The last thing I wanna do is clean up bits of Soos off the floor.”

“Sorry, Mr. Pines,” Soos apologized as he smoothed up the side of his cheek before any clay could drip off of it. “I guess clay and a hot summer day aren’t a great mix…”

“Ugh, consider yourself lucky, man,” Wendy spoke up as she came out of the shack herself. “At least you’re not covered in fur…” 

“Whoa, Wendy!” Mabel exclaimed in fascination as Dipper, Steven, and Connie looked to the cashier in shock. “Are you-”

“A werewolf? Ugh, yeah, I guess,” Wendy rolled her eyes as she absently scratched behind one of her now rather dog-like ears. Sure enough, her entire body was covered in thick red fur to match her hair color, and alongside that she bore a bit of a snout with a wolfish nose and plenty of sharp, fanged teeth to match the sizable claws on her hands and feet. Yet despite her rather canine appearance, she was still perfectly able to walk upright, which was apparent enough as she leaned against the side of the shack, annoyed. “All those movies with the hot shirtless werewolves totally oversold this, by the way. The real deal totally sucks between being hot and itchy all the time. So if you guys are dead set on getting us all back to normal, then more power to you.”

“Don’t worry, we will,” Connie assured, though her confident smile quickly fell. “If only we knew where to start…”

“Maybe Great Uncle Ford can help,” Dipper suggested. “After filling up three whole journals, it’s safe to assume he is the resident expert on magical creatures around here. Where is he anyway?”

“Ugh, please don’t get me started on Ford and all those stupid riddles he’s been throwing around since this whole mess startled,” Stan huffed crossly. 

“Riddles?” Steven asked, confused. 

“Precisely, my boy,” Ford interjected as he rounded the far corner of the shack. For his part, his appearance had taken on something of a lion-eque motiff, with golden-brown fur, a long, thin tail, large (but still six-fingered) paws, and even a rather feline nose. But what set that motiff apart were his wings, just as wide as his brother’s, though bright and colorful and feathered instead of grey and stony. He only briefly regarded the Gems and the kids’ changes in appearance, seemingly not alarmed by them at all as he continued just as calmly. “For instance, what do you call a creature that’s steeped in ancient Greek and Egyptian mythology and has a penchant for presenting all who cross its path with puzzling riddles?” 

“Annoying?” Stan ventured, sending his brother a bored look. 

“No, Stanley,” Ford countered flatly. “A sphinx. Which seems to be what I’ve turned into. Maybe you’ll have an easier time figuring this one out: what’s the term for a creature that’s made of animated stone and also happens to be what you’ve become?”

“I’m sticking with my first answer and saying annoying,” the conman reiterated, glaring back at his unwanted set of wings. 

“A gargoyle, Stanley, a gargoyle,” the author huffed, exasperated. “Come on, that one wasn’t even hard at all.” 

“Yeesh, if you’re gonna be a wisecracking know-it-all, then can’t you just get to the point about it?” Stan rolled his eyes. “Do you have to keep at with all these pointless riddles?”

“...Yes,” Ford said bluntly before turning to the kids. “Anyway, children, do you know what a living, human-like being made of an earthen material such as mud, rocks, or in this case, clay,” he nodded over at Soos. “Is called?” The kids exchanged an uncertain glance at this, though it wasn’t long before the author filled in with an answer to his own riddle once more. “A golem. A clay golem in this particular instance, I believe.”

“Oooohhh so that’s what I am,” Soos mused, fascinated. “And I was just gonna keep calling myself “Soos: Clay Edition” but a golem sounds way cooler.”

“Furthermore,” Ford posed another riddle. “A creature with the arms, head, and torso of a human, but the body and legs of a deer is called a…?”

“A deertaur!” Steven and Mabel both chimed in with an enthusiastic answer. 

“Ugh, for the last time, you guys, that’s not what it’s called!” Dipper protested, his tail flickering in aggravation. 

“You’re absolutely right, Dipper, that’s not what it’s called,” Ford pointed out with a knowing grin. “You’re actually a cervitaur.”

“Eh, that doesn’t have nearly the same ring to it…” Mabel said, looking to her brother dubiously. “Grunkle Ford, can you do me next!”

“Mabel,” Dipper cut in, shaking his head. “We already know you’re a-”

“A creature that’s half girl and half fish would be known as…?”

“A mermaid!” Mabel immediately guessed. “I know because I am one! Right now!”

“Correct,” Ford nodded, pleased. “Now… hm… this one is a bit trickier. A physical spirit tied to… well, traditionally trees, but I suppose just about any form of flora works, as is the case with Steven here, so that would make him a…?”

“Uh… Mabel guessed flower guy earlier so, I’ll go with that?” Steven suggested, though he really had no idea himself. 

“Actually, my boy, you’re what’s known as a dryad,” Ford corrected. “Or more accurately, the male form of a dryad, a drus. A rose drus, from the looks of it…”

“...It had to be roses, didn’t it?” Steven muttered to himself as he rubbed his thorn, covered arm apprehensively. 

“Now, rounding things off, a creature that’s wolf-like in appearance, but-”

“It’s a werewolf,” Wendy interrupted boredly. “Already figured that out as soon as I realized I had a tail, man, it’s not that hard.”

“Ah,” Ford said somewhat awkwardly before continuing. “Then how about an immaterial spector that’s-”

“A ghost,” Connie readily filled the answer. “Sorry, Mr. Ford. We… kind of already figured that one out too.”

“...Very well then,” the author noted as he glanced over at the Gems. “As for you three, I… can’t quite seem to think of anything-”

“Oh, thank god,” Stan said, breathing a sigh of relief. 

“Are… are they… corrupted?” Ford asked the kids in particular. 

“Sort of?” Steven shrugged. “They’re still themselves though, right, you guys?” The Gems let out a variety of unintelligible answers at this, but all of them seemed to confirm this to be true. 

“Fascinating…” Ford adjusted his glasses as he looked over each of the Gems’ semi-corrupted forms. “All of this is just so… fascinating! I could fill up an entire journal alone with all of the scientific discoveries to be found here! And while I’m on that note, another riddle! What’s-”

“No!” Stan quickly cut him off, leaping forward with a powerful flap of his wings to practically tackle Ford to the ground. “You are not asking another one of your dumb riddles on my watch!”

“...Well, you could have just asked, Stanley,” Ford huffed, pushing his brother off him. “You didn’t need to be so extreme about it.”

“Oh, hey!” Steven cut in, pointing to a familiar van driving toward the shack. “Looks like Dad’s on his way here!”

Sure enough, Greg’s van pulled up to a sudden stop in front of the group gathered outside the shack, with the former rock star poking his head out the window frantically. “Steven!” he exclaimed, startled by what had happened to both his son and the others. Greg himself had also undergone a rather alarming transformation, as he was seemingly wrapped in browning bandages from head to toe, with what little skin showing between those bandages looking drastically pale and almost lifeless. Yet he hardly seemed to care much for his own appearance as he threw the van door open to check on his son and the others instead. At least until one of his bandages got caught up in the door as he slammed it shut. “Aw, not again!” he huffed, pulling the bandage out before hurrying over to Steven. “L-look at you!” he exclaimed, practically having to look up at his son thanks to the vines still holding him aloft. “Are you ok? Is everyone ok?”

“Yeah, we’re all fine,” Steven nodded. 

“E-even the Gems…?” Greg asked, sending them a worried look. 

“Yeah, they’re ok too,” the young Gem mustered a small smile. 

“Ah! Here we go!” Ford piped up with a brand-new riddle. “What would you call an undead creature typically wrapped in cloth bandages to try and preserve the decaying body?”

“U-undead?!” Greg balked, glancing down at himself fearfully. 

“Join the club…” Connie spoke up as she hovered nearby. 

“A mummy! Greg’s a mummy! Geez!” Stan swiftly answered, shoving his brother out of aggravation. “What did I say about the riddles?!”

“Oh, honestly, Stanley! You don’t have to be such a brute!” Ford took a swing at the conman with his claws, only for them to hit solid stone instead.

“And you don’t have to be such a pain!” Stan countered, utilizing his wings to gain the literal upper hand over the author before he could lash out again. Ford didn’t let him get away that easily as he also managed to take flight, and soon enough both brothers were engaged in a midair chase that everyone briefly stopped to watch before returning to the matter at hand. 

“So yeah, like Steven said, we’re all doin’ pretty good,” Soos reiterated obliviously. 

“I-I can’t believe this whole monster thing happened to all of you guys too!” Greg exclaimed, running a hand through the hair that was sticking out from under the bandages. 

“What do you mean ‘too’?” Dipper asked, confused. 

“Haven’t you seen the news?” Greg asked, incredulously. 

“Oh, yeah,” Wendy spoke up as she pulled the latest town news report up on her phone before holding it up for everyone to see. “Check it out.”

“This just in,” Shandra Jimenez, who seemed to have been turned into a harpy, reported urgently. “Monster madness has taken over Gravity Falls! Residents all over town have reported being suddenly transformed into magical or mythical creatures.” Sure enough, the accompanying footage proved this to be true as every citizen shown seemed to be some sort of monster or cryptid or creature, each in some varying level of surprise or panic over their new forms. “The cause for this town-wide transformation is still unknown, but experts believe the large flash of bright light that encompassed the entire area earlier today might have had something to do with it. For now, residents are advised to continue on with business as usual until some sort of cure can be found. We’ll be back with more details at 5, but for now, I’m Shandra Jimenez, and it’s time for my hourly preening session.” With a loud squawk, the anchor signed off to pick at the feathered wings that had taken the place of her arms and putting an end to the news briefing in the process. 

“T-this is happening to the entire town?!” Dipper asked in disbelief. All four of the kids exchanged a startled glance at this as they realized this problem was much more widespread and far more serious than they first thought. Which, of course, would only make finding an elusive solution for it much more difficult than they had originally hoped. 

“Yeah, it is, and somebody better do something about it! Soon.” 

“No way…” Dipper gasped as he was the first to notice who was emerging, or rather slithering out of the nearby forest. “Pacifica?!”

Like all of the others, Pacifica’s appearance had drastically changed, primarily by the way of her legs being replaced by a long, light gold, snake-like tail. That reptilian theming continued with her hair, which was no longer really hair at all but a horde of snakes, each of them alive and autonomous as they moved about on their own accord. The heiress-turned-gorgon clearly cared little for her own snakes as she pushed the unruly reptiles back as they hissed and maneuvered about freely. Yet her frustration quickly fizzled into shock as she spotted the group of various creatures and monsters in front of the shack, though she focused most of her concern on her boyfriend in particular. 

“Oh my gosh!” Pacifica exclaimed, clumsily slithering over to her as Dipper tried to meet her halfway every bit as awkwardly on his still rather unsteady legs. “D-Dipper, you… look-”

“Please don’t say adorable,” Dipper interrupted, deadpan. 

“...I was gonna say like a deer, but…” Pacifica couldn’t help but crack a small smile at this, revealing her new set of sharp fangs. “You definitely look better off than I do right now…”

“What? N-no!” Dipper countered, trying to reassure her as best he could as he suppressed a nervous cringe as one of her snakes drew in a bit too close to him for comfort. “You, uh… you look…”

“Don’t lie,” the heiress warned coldly. 

“...S-snakes,” Dipper finished, unable to really say much else as he realized he was slightly trembling again. 

“Yeah, snakes,” Pacifica scowled, reigning her snakes back again as several of them started crowding around Dipper, their almost hungry stares making him quite uncomfortable. “Please tell me you’re working on a way of undoing this whole mess…”

“Of course, we are,” he said, suppressing his sudden anxiety as he took her hands to comfort her. “We’ll figure something out, I promise.”

“AW!” Mabel suddenly gushed from her pool. “Even like this, you guys are still the CUTEST couple ever! What I wouldn’t give to have my camera on me! Though then again, maybe it’s better that I don’t… I don’t think it’s waterproof…” 

“Oh, come on, really?” Pacifica asked in disbelief as she glanced over at Mabel. “You got turned into a mermaid? I wish I could have been that lucky…”

“Tell me about it,” Connie sighed as she suddenly materialized right beside the heiress, startling both her and her snakes in the process. 

“Ok, everyone,” Dipper addressed the others, outside of Stan and Ford who were still engrossed in their petty brawl above. “Let’s get back on track. We need to start looking for some way to get all of us back to-” A high, loud screech abruptly cut him off as it echoed through the air, though it didn’t take long for everyone to discover the source of the noise as it came from above. Stan and Ford’s ongoing argument was only briefly interrupted by the arrival of a winged creature that suddenly blazed right past them both. That blue, jellyfish-esque creature was apparently holding something with its thin set of lengthy tentacles, a much smaller, bright green, six legged spider-like monster. While a pair of such peculiar creatures would have normally been cause for alarm, as the jellyfish gently set the spider down on the ground before coming to hover just above it, it soon became very apparent to just about everyone exactly who these creatures, or partially corrupted Gems really were. 

“Wait a second…” Steven said, focusing on the familiar gemstones on each of the monsters. “Isn’t that-”

“Oh my gosh! Peri!” Mabel practically squealed with delight at the spider-like form Peridot had taken on. “You look so CUTE! You’re like an itsy-bitsy Gem spider! If I could get out of this pool, you better believe I’d be giving you the biggest hug right now!”

Peridot let out a flustered hiss at this, her large, dark eyes narrowing in apparently frustration and embarrassment as she stomped her two front, disjointed legs down in annoyance. An apparent testament that the green Gem still retained her annoyance at being referred to as small, even in her now largely-corrupted form. 

At the same time, Dipper was completely caught off guard as the jellyfish creature suddenly flew over to him, remaining completely silent as several of its long tendrils reached out toward him. Immediately, his relatively new panicky instincts washed over him as he froze up, staring at the monster with stark, fearful, yet quiet alarm. The creature quickly noticed this and drew back a bit, seemingly confused and concerned, though it was still unable to make so much as a sound to convey either of those things. 

“Uh, Dipper?” Steven placed a steadying hand on his shoulder as his vines carried him over to him. “I… think that’s Lapis…”

At this, Dipper quickly snapped out of this forceful bout of shock, recognition filling his features as he spotted the teardrop shaped gemstone that was clearly visible through the jellyfish’s somewhat transparent blue body. “L-Lapis…?”

Lapis “nodded” as much as she could in her current form, slowly reaching her tendrils out once more so she could better see how Dipper had changed too. This time, he allowed her to, albeit a bit anxiously as one of her naturally wet tentacles found a gentle spot against the side of his face. “Uh… s-sorry,” he said, backing up a bit. “This is just… really weird…”

Though Lapis didn’t really respond to this, Peridot certainly did in a series of plaintiff hisses as she skittered around in apparent frustration. “Yeesh, even like this she’s still a loudmouth,” Pacifica noted to Connie and Mabel, aside, both of whom couldn’t help but agree. 

“So, you guys got corrupted--er, s-sort of corrupted too, huh?” Steven asked Lapis and Peridot, who both nodded in what almost seemed like resignation to this fact. The young Gem let out a small, fretful sigh as he took a moment to glance over the pair, as well as other Gems’ rather monstrous forms. Likewise, he took another moment to take stock of what had happened to his father, to Soos and Wendy and Pacifica, to Stan and Ford, to Mabel, Dipper, and Connie, and even to himself. For whatever reason, they had all undergone some kind of unknown, and in most cases unwanted, transformation, one that had disrupted their lives and left them all with more questions than answers as they tried to adapt to what had so suddenly happened to them, a plight that faced  the entire town and everyone in it, Gems and humans alike. And while Steven knew Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl weren’t particularly equipped to save Gravity Falls from such a plight as they usually would have, he figured that someone else would just have to step up and do exactly that in their stead. 

“All right, enough is enough,” Steven said, his tone stern and serious as he looked to Dipper, Mabel, and Connie. “We need to do something about this.”

“That’s what I’ve been saying this whole time,” Dipper huffed, his tail twitching in slight aggravation.

“I know…” Steven admitted as a few of his vines curled back in embarrassment. “B-but this time, let’s actually do it! We can find a way to undo this and get all of us, everyone--the whole town, back to the way they’re supposed to be, I know we can! So, are you guys up for another mystery?”

“You bet!” Mabel eagerly chimed, slapping her hand over Steven’s as he extended it to the others. “Mystery Kids!”

“Mystery Kids,” Connie agreed, hovering her hand over the others even though she couldn’t really touch them herself. 

Dipper sighed, though he did so with a warm, resolved smile as his hand joined the pile. “Mystery Kids.” He paused right after this, however, as he stole a glance over at Pacifica, who stood on the fringes of the group, glancing away awkwardly as even her snakes seemed to hang low and quiet. She started, however, as she caught sight of Dipper silently motioning her to join them. Considering her less than stellar history with the other members of the group, she hesitated, but she ultimately folded upon meeting her boyfriend’s soft, reassuring smile. 

“M-Mystery Kids…?” Pacifica ventured as she slithered over to the group and placed her hand atop theirs. Steven, Mabel, and Connie all offered her the same eager, welcoming smiles, which helped to set her at ease just as much as Dipper reaching up to lightly, supportively squeeze her hand did. 

With another daring cheer, the four--now five--Mystery Kids solidified their brazen mission to uncover the truth behind what had happened to Gravity Falls and find a way to solve it. A lofty, brazen goal to be sure, but one they felt largely equipped to handle; after all, they’d faced impossible odds like this more than a few times before. 

“Ok,” Dipper said as they all retracted their hands. “Let’s get started.”

“Good luck, dudes!” Soos encouraged with a bright wave, though his hand ended up melting off his wrist before it splattered onto the porch. “...Oops.”

“Uh, you guys might wanna hurry up on that,” Wendy noted as she watched the handyman reclaim his hand with a concerned frown. “I don’t know how much longer Soos can hold out with it being this hot out. Or how much longer I can hold out either for that matter…” she growled, scratching away at her own thick fur. 

“Wait, hold up,” Stan cut in as he finally came in for a landing, Ford following not too far behind him as their disagreement had reached a stalemate. “The entire town is cursed or something, and we’re just supposed to rely completely on you kids to get us all back to normal? N-not that I don’t trust you four, but you gotta admit you’re a little wet behind the ears. In some cases, literally,” he nodded over at Mabel. 

“Guilty as charged,” Mabel chuckled, showing off her now fin-like ears, which were, sure enough, soaking wet. 

“Stanley, don’t be so inconsiderate,” Ford scolded. “After all, who has accomplished impressive feats of discovery and problem solving through pooling their respective talents together on several occasions over the past few months alone?”

“We have!” Steven proudly proclaimed.

“Exactly,” the author nodded, ignoring his brother’s irritated glare over yet another riddle. 

“Well, you kids have definitely got my vote of confidence,” Greg soundly agreed amidst resecuring a loose bandage around his arm. 

“Thanks, Dad,” Steven grinned, leading the way toward the forest. He stopped short, however, in front of the Gems, all of whom, including Lapis and Peridot, regarded him affectionately as best as they could, even if they had to do so without using words. “Don’t worry, guys,” he assured them with a hopeful smile. “We’re gonna fix this, no matter what it takes. I promise.” Though none of the Gems could properly express it, their pride was clear through the round of various indiscernible, yet clearly happy cheers that rose up among them. Their warm support only gave a boost to the young Gem’s smile as he turned back to the other kids. “Ok, you guys ready to go--oh…” 

His question was answered before he even finished asking it, for while Connie was able to freely hover just about anywhere with few problems, Dipper and Pacifica were still quite unsteady on their hooves and tail respectively and Mabel was essentially confined to her tiny kiddie pool (which her long tail was actually halfway sticking out of). “Uh… right,” Steven let out a small laugh, realizing that the others didn’t have an autonomous set of vines to tote them around like he currently did. “We should probably figure this out first…”

The solution when it came to transportation was actually pretty simple, and a large part of that came down to Steven’s several sets of sturdy vines. As intangible as she was, Connie couldn’t really do much to help, but Steven hardly minded as he allowed both Dipper and Pacifica to cling onto a few of his vines, as well as each other, for support as they began to make their way through the woods. Mabel had been a bit tricker, but they’d eventually devised an idea upon finding an old pair of skateboards stored in the back of Greg’s van. It took a bit of doing (namely in getting Stan and Ford to cooperate long enough to work together to lift Mabel’s pool onto the boards) but eventually the pool itself was fully mobile and ready to be pulled along by a few more of Steven’s vines (of which he fortunately had plenty to spare). And just like that the small, but enthusiastic group set out on their daunting quest, though exactly how they were supposed to go about it still wasn’t exactly clear. 

“So… what are we out here looking for anyway?” Connie finally posed the question that all of the others had been thinking. 

“A way to get everyone back to normal,” Steven replied with a steady grin. 

“Ok, but like… how?” Pacifica asked, just as confused as Connie was. 

“Uh, well…” Dipper began, exchanging an uncertain glance with Steven. “We… don’t really know what we’re looking for exactly. To be honest, a lot of the times when we do this, we just tend to look around for a bit until a solution just sort of comes to us.” At that exact moment, the entire group came to a grinding halt as something, or rather, a certain semi-corrupted Gem to be exact, abruptly fell out of the canopy of trees just in front of them. “...Like that.”

“Centi!” Steven exclaimed as he reached a vine out toward the disoriented Gem to help her up. “You’re back! A-and… whoa, you look just like you did before!” Sure enough, Centipeetle hadn’t been transformed whatsoever like all of the other Gems had, for she still retained the same semi-corrupted appearance she’d had since Steven had tried to heal her. Likewise, she still seemed to have a rather skittish mindset as she cowered away from Steven, not seeming to recognize him or any of the others in their strange new forms. “Hey, i-its ok!” he said, pulling his vines back a bit so he couldn’t scare her any further. “It’s just me: Steven! I know I look a little different right now, but you don’t have to be scared, ok?”

Centipeetle eased up a bit at this, looking Steven up and down before calming down as she met his comforting smile. She let out a somewhat confused chirp as she walked over to him, and that confusion only seemed to grow as she looked over the other kids as well. 

“So this… “Centi” is a friend of yours?” Pacifica asked Dipper to gain a better sense of context. “Yikes, it looks like she got hit by this whole monster thing really hard…”

“Um, actually, she looked like that before any of this happened,” Dipper carefully pointed out. 

“...Oh,” Pacifica glanced away awkwardly. “My bad…”

“I don’t understand,” Connie spoke up as she flew closer to Centipeetle, who flinched away from her slightly. “I know she’s already partially corrupted, but why didn’t she fully turn back into a monster like the other Gems did?”

“Good question,” Steven said, watching as the semi-corrupted Gem sauntered past him. “You got hit by that light too, didn’t you, Centi? Do you have any ideas about what might have happened?”

Centipeetle didn’t respond as she was instead far more fascinated in the small pool Mabel was sitting in. Or rather, the pool that Mabel had completely submerged her entire head under for far more than just a few mere minutes now. 

“Oh my gosh, Mabel!” Dipper gasped, not hesitating to stumble over to her as fast as he could. Though her tail was hanging over the side of the tiny pool, the rest of her body lay face-up under the shallow water, her expression completely blank as she stared up at nothing at all as her gills “breathed” in the water surrounding her at a steady, synchronized pace. “Mabel!” Dipper reached into the water, grabbing her by the shoulder to rouse her from this bizarre trance. It worked as she gasped, darting up with a start and unintentionally splashing her brother in the process. 

“W-whoa!” she exclaimed, pressing a hand against her head. “Uh… sorry,” she offered Dipper an apologetic grin as she noticed he was now dripping wet. “Not sure what happened, I guess I sorta zoned out there. Oh hey! Centi’s back!”

“Ok, can we not backtrack here?” Pacifica asked, somewhat impatient. “We’re supposed to be finding a way to fix all this, remember?”

“Right,” Steven soundly agreed with a hopeful smile. “And I think Centi might just be the key to helping us figure that out.”

Centipeetle tilted her head, letting out a curious coo at this, yet a few of the other kids weren’t so convinced. “Uh… Steven? I know you still want to help her, and we do too, but… we sort of have bigger problems to deal with right now, don’t you think?” Dipper asked apprehensively. 

“But Centi was corrupted, just like the Gems sort of are now,” Steven pointed out. “And whatever corrupted them transformed the rest of the town too. So maybe whatever did that did this too!”

“But we still don’t know how corruption even happens to begin with,” Connie noted with a frown. 

“Maybe we don’t, but Centi might!” Steven turned back to the semi-corrupted Gem. “What do you say? Do you remember anything from before you--I-I mean… from long ago?”

Centipeetle took a moment to ponder this question before she answered it with a surprisingly enthusiastic nod. Likewise, she began to explain, albeit in her usual language of inhuman squeaks and squawks, none of which any of the kids could even begin to decipher. 

“Well, this isn’t gonna work,” Dipper remarked flatly. 

“Oh! I have an idea!” Mabel raised her hand. “If her memories are still in her head, we just gotta draw them out. Literally! Through the language… of ART!”

“...Or she could just write it all down,” Pacifica countered much less dramatically. 

“Yeah, that would probably be a little easier,” Connie nodded. 

“Now, if only we had some paper and a-” Steven stopped short as Dipper suddenly pulled both a notepad and a pen out of his vest. 

“I never leave home without them,” he said with a proud grin. “Especially since you never know what you’ll run into next around here. It never hurts to be prepared.”

“Dork,” Pacifica teased, lightly elbowing him, which he was more than happy to accept given the flirtatious nature of the gesture. 

“Ok, Centi, check this out,” Steven said, writing his name onto the first empty page of the notepad. “Ste-ven. That’s me! Can you do that?”

Centipeetle nodded, taking the pad as she began to scribble something down onto the page. When she was done and presented her work to the kids, however, the series of jagged, mangled lines she’d drawn didn’t bear semblance to any legible words at all. 

“...You know, maybe having her draw might not be such a bad idea after all…” Connie said somewhat fretfully. 

“Yes!” Mabel cheered. “Art always wins!”

“Ok then, let’s try this,” Steven sketched out a quick stick figure sketch of himself so Centipeetle would understand what they wanted her to do. “You can tell us whatever you want to through pictures! You try it.” 

Centipeetle reclaimed the pen and pad and began to do exactly that, sketching something out in record time before showing her work to the others. “That looks like… some kind of spaceship…” Connie inferred, hovering above as she glanced down at the Gem’s rough, yet understandable drawing. “Is that how you came to Earth?”

Centipeetle nodded, flipping the pad to a blank page as she started doodling something else. “Ooo, they look like you!” Mabel pointed toward the trio of stick figures that bore a passing semblance to the semi-corrupted Gem. “Centi, did you used to roll with a super cool crew back in the day?”

Centipeetle let out a happy chirp at this, pointing to herself with something of a proud smile. “You were a captain?!” Steven gasped, stars in his eyes. “That’s amazing! Sorry, I mean--that’s amazing, sir!” he chuckled with a playful salute before he happened to catch himself. “Oh, right, you guys don’t salute like that. It’s more like… this, right?” The young Gem awkwardly tried to cross his arms, though he couldn’t quite position them in any sort of comfortable manner. “Ow! Oh, this looked so easy when Peridot did it....” It didn’t take long for Centipeetle to catch onto what he was trying to do as she showed him the corrected cross-armed salute. “Oh yeah! Like that!” Steven nodded as the semi-corrupted Gem let out another noisy chirp before she resumed drawing out her tale once more. 

“Ok, so… you’re saluting someone…?” Dipper guessed as they all gathered closer to watch Centipeetle draw. “Is that your commander or something?” The semi-corrupted Gem nodded, pointing back to her drawings with another pointed squawk. ‘

“She gave you an order,” Connie continued inspecting the drawings. “And you and your crew got on your ships and--oh, lots of ships. Heading through space to… Earth.”

“You landed and started building stuff,” Steven mused as Centipeetle sketched out the start of Homeworld’s colonization of the planet. A colonization which soon turned to a violent conflict. “But then… the Gem war! You joined the fight…” Centipeetle’s drawings grew a bit more aggressive and hectic as her hand started to shake. She swiftly crossed out several of the Gems she had drawn, symbolizing their brutal ends that happened so long ago. “You and your crew kept going…” Steven faltered as Centipeetle suddenly ripped half of the page she was working on, tearing away her fellow crew members away from her. “You got seperated, but you were still fighting. Then, new orders from your commander… to retreat. Everyone’s running-” The sketches shifted to a massive crowd of Gem soldiers fleeing from some unknown, unseen threat. And among that crowd was Centipeetle, lost in the shuffle and hopelessly confused as to what was really going on. “But from what? You don’t know. Where’s your crew? Where’s your ship? You stopped.” Centipeetle froze in her drawing, captivated by the sky as a large star, three stars rather, appeared in it. “You heard something--from the sky, a sound. A song? And then…”

Centipeetle tore the last page away entirely to a completely blank one. She covered that empty page with her hand as tears started to slip out of her eye and splash down onto the paper, dampening it as she let out an agonized sob. “C-Centi?” Mabel spoke up, concerned. 

“That light…” Dipper began in dawning realization. “That’s the same light that hit the entire town! Where did it come from?”

Centipeetle whimpered once more but drew one last image upon the empty page: the familiar symbol of a trio of diamonds. “D-damage from the Diamonds…” Steven whispered, his eyes wide with alarm. 

“Uh… what does that mean?” Pacifica asked, largely out of the loop compared to the others. 

“It means… none of this makes sense…” Connie shook her head incredulously. “The light from the Diamonds corrupted Gems back then, but… it didn’t work on humans before… did it?”

“N-no, it… it only worked on Gems, like Centi…” Steven frowned, recalling what Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl had told him of corruption before. “But this time, it only affected the Gems’ bodies, not their minds like it did with all the others… And it did work on humans… So, what’s different now?”

“Bill,” Dipper said starkly, panic filling his expression as he recalled a very significant, very frightening recent revelation. “H-he’s working with the Diamonds now, o-or at least Yellow Diamond, remember? What if they teamed up to do this to us?!”

“B-but why would they-” Steven didn’t get a chance to finish his question as Centipeetle suddenly caught his attention. The semi-corrupted Gem was hacking horribly, acid spilling out from her beak-like maw as she abruptly collapsed to the ground. “Centi! Are you ok?!”

Centipeetle let out an anguished cry as light enveloped her arm, forcibly mutating it back into its previously short, insect-esque appendange. “W-what’s happening to her?!” Mabel asked, leaning out of her pool worriedly. 

“She’s reverting!” Steven exclaimed, alarmed. “Here, I’ll heal you again!” The young Gem hurried to do so, swiftly licking his hand and placing it against Centipeetle’s gemstone. She reacted harshly, however, her eye slamming shut as her arm glitched out, but ultimately stayed corrupted as the rest of her body began to do the same. “W-why isn’t it working?! How can I help you?!” 

All Centipeetle could respond with was a loud, piercing, pained screech, one that echoed through the forest and set off a series of varied responses in the process. As startled as she was, Connie was no longer able to keep herself visible as she abruptly disappeared into thin air once more, despite Steven’s desperate plea for her to stay. Likewise, as horrified as he already was by thoughts of Bill and the Diamonds and their twisted alliance, Dipper found he was completely helpless to resist his new flighty instincts overwhelming all sense of reason and logic as they prompted him to flee, running swiftly off into the forest, even as Mabel and Pacifica both tried and failed to reign him back in. 

And yet, Dipper and Connie weren’t the only ones to take off out of fear as Centipeetle started doing the same, distressed as she startled scrambling back through the woods herself. “E-everyone, wait!” Steven called, distraught as he realized things were only going from bad to worse. 

“W-what do we do?” Mabel asked, immensely concerned. 

“Uh… um…” Steven stammered, racing to come up with some sort of plan, which he surprisingly managed to do in record time. “Pacifica, can you go look for Dipper?”

“Um, yeah, I’ll try,” Pacifica agreed, more than willing to do so, even if she wasn’t entirely sure how far she’d be able to go on her difficult to maneuver tail. 

“Mabel, you… stay here.”

“Yeah, I… kinda can’t really do much else,” Mabel noted, pointing to her tail. “Oh! I know! I’ll see if I can get Connie to come back!”

“Great,” Steven nodded as his vines turned him around. “I’m gonna go after Centi. I’ll be back soon!”

“Good luck!” Mabel called after both Pacifica and Steven as they set off on their own respective missions. She paused a moment after they were gone, more than set to call after Connie in the hopes of getting her to appear. Yet just before she could, her own bizarre newfound instincts took over as she silently plunged herself back under the water of her pool, unable to really do anything else, even if she could have tried. 

Fortunately, it didn’t take long for Steven to catch up to Centipeetle given how surprisingly fast his vines could carry him. The semi-corrupted Gem had just broken through the edge of the forest, apparently heading back toward the temple, yet as Steven did the same, he was quite taken aback by what he saw happening at the Mystery Shack. 

The entire area was awash in chaos as it seemed as though almost everyone who had gathered there had also fallen victim to whatever instinctual impulses that came along with their new monstrous forms. Stan and Ford had apparently gotten into another brawl for whatever reason, though this one was much more violent and aggressive as they chased each other around the sky again. Wendy attempted to follow along on the ground, running on all fours as she growled almost ferally, and though she missed Centipeetle, she did notice Steven and tried chasing after him as well. The young Gem narrowly managed to avoid her using his floating powers to jump on top of his father’s van, though that hardly stopped the frantic scene on the ground below. Soos seemed to have tucked himself away inside the shack to avoid melting any further, and Greg was seemingly nowhere to be found, at least until Steven peeked into the back of the van to find his father sleeping soundly within it. 

“D-Dad!” Steven exclaimed, hurrying to his side, only to notice Greg’s arms were crossed squarely over his chest, much like a traditional mummy’s would have been. “Dad, wake up, please!” he shook his father’s shoulder to try and rouse him, though it didn’t do any good. “D-Dad…?”

A sudden screech quickly caught the distraught young Gem’s attention, one that came from Pearl, who he realized was standing right behind him alongside Garnet and Amethyst. While Lapis and Peridot had taken to the sidelines, unsure of what to do, the main trio of Gems had been doing their best to ease the mindless uproar between the others, though there wasn’t much they could really do with their forms as monstrous as they currently were. “G-guys, what… what’s going on?” Steven asked them, realizing they were much calmer than everyone else seemed to be. “Why’s everyone acting so weird?” 

Though she couldn’t really give a proper answer, Garnet replied in the form of a low grunt, nodding up toward the sky, or rather, toward where the apparent corrupting light had come from. “C-Corruption… yeah, we know,” Steven nodded, “We think it might have been Bill and the Diamonds this time, but they... “ He gasped as the newfound, horrific realization struck him. “They corrupted everyone’s bodies… but only the minds of the humans! That’s why they’re acting like this! W-we have to help them! B-but how?”

The Gems seemed to agree, though the only way they could really convey their idea to do so was to step aside so Steven could see Centipeetle, who was still frantically making her way up to the temple. “Centi?” the young Gem wondered anxiously. “D-do you think…?”

The Gems exchanged something of an uncertain glance but ultimately they agreed that the semi-corrupted Gem would be their best course of action right now. Something Steven couldn’t really argue with since he was largely out of ideas himself. “Right,” he nodded, his vines starting to pull him forward so he could follow her. “You guys stay here and keep everyone safe. I’m gonna find a way to fix all of this. I mean it this time.”

Even if they couldn’t exactly speak, the Gems still sent him off with a chorus of warm, proud well-wishes, voicing their firm belief in their young ward just as well as any words could have. Their faith did give Steven something of a confidence boost, but as he set off after Centipeetle he couldn’t help but feel quite worried all the same, especially now that the stakes seemed higher than ever before. What if he couldn’t find a way to return everyone to normal? What if his friends, his family, possibly even himself with time, were all eventually lost to their monstrous forms and mangled minds, just like previously corrupted Gems like Centipeetle had been centuries ago? 

These were all thoughts Steven could hardly bear to face, so he decided to embrace the opposite instead, the hope that he would find a solution. That he could fix this and save everyone, just as they were all counting on him to do, even if they didn’t even realize it. 

The young Gem burst into the house just moments after Centipeetle had, finding her propped up against the warp pad as she desperately tried using it. No teleporting light emerged from it however, much to the semi-corrupted Gem’s distress as her leg started glitching back into its previously corrupted appearance. “I-it’s not working because you’re corrupted,” Steven noted, hurrying over to her. “Where do you want to go? The battlefield you fought at? Your ship?”

Centipeetle squawked out an immediate response to this, though Steven still didn’t quite understand. “Is there something on the ship that can help you? That can help all of us?” The semi-corrupted Gem only screamed louder at this, slamming herself down onto the warp pad as she practically begged him to use it. “O-ok, just… hold on,” Steven said, grabbing her hand to calm her down. “I’ll get you there.”

Despite his own condition, fortunately Steven was still able to use the warp pad as usual. Its light enveloped them both, taking them to the very same abandoned Gem ship that Peridot had tried trapping them in what felt like ages ago now. As soon as she so much as spotted her ship, Centipeetle took off, running through the jungle as she called out for someone she only barely remembered. “Hey! Wait!” Steven ran after her, or rather his vines did, at least until Centipeetle suddenly stopped short. The corrupted Gem unleashed another agonized scream as she collapsed, clutching her head in pain as more traces of her monsterous form began to overtake her: her multiple tiny legs, her lengthy, multi-tiered body, her long, pincher-like snout. As this horrific, slow transformation continued, Steven briefly watched in frightened alarm, before he took the initiative, gently latching onto her with a few of his vines. “You want to get to the ship? Then let’s go.” As unable to walk as she was, Steven let his vines hoist Centipeetle up as she continued whimpering loudly, her form continuing to unsteadily shift as her mind tumbled into madness all the while. Yet despite her wild manner starting to flood her once more, she still somehow recognized Steven, still somehow trusted him to take her where she longed to be. And sure enough, that’s exactly what he did. 

The young Gem carefully set Centipeetle down just as all traces of her once human-like form gave way to her former corruption. She squeaked pitifully, acid dripping out of her maw as she looked to Steven almost pleadingly. He shuddered, wishing he could do so much more to help her, but for now, the most he could do was open the door to her abandoned ship and let her back inside of it for the first time in eons. 

Silently, Steven followed Centipeetle inside the derelict vessel, only to find that they weren’t alone. Two other creatures, identical to the corrupted Gem, had scaled its dusty walls and had taken up shop there, though as they noticed Centipeedle herself, they greeted her with cheerful chips of greet. “Other Centipeetles…?” Steven wondered, watching as his own corrupted companion scurried over to join the pair. “T-they’re your crew… aren’t they?” 

Centipeetle stopped short at this, turning back to Steven as she skittered over to him once more. He offered her a small, sad smile that was quick to fade as he looked between his corrupted friend and her crew. “I-I… I’m sorry….” he sighed morosely. “I wish there was more I could do to help you. T-to help everyone! All of the other corrupted Gems, and especially everyone back in Gravity Falls right now! They’re all in danger and I-I… I don’t know what to do to save them! My friends… e-everyone I know needs my help, a-and I… I can’t do anything for them…”

Tears started to well up in the young Gem’s eyes, yet before they could fall, a gentle, almost kindly chirp from Centipeetle caught his attention instead. The corrupted Gem pulled her lengthy form up a bit so she could gain some height over Steven, and then, in much of the same way he had done for her before, she delivered a soft “kiss” of sorts upon his forehead using the very tip of her beak. It wasn’t much, but in a strange way, it offered him exactly the sort of comfort he needed at a hopeless moment such as this. 

He mouthed her a silent ‘thank you’ as she turned again to join  her crew, all three corrupted Gems chirping warmly amongst each other as they reunited after centuries of painful separation. Steven stood by, watching them for a moment or two, his mind lingering on Centipeetle’s “kiss” all the while. And the longer he thought about the touching gesture, the more it made him think about how his own healing kiss had, at least in some way, truly worked to partially cure the corrupted Gem, even if it hadn’t really worked as well as he had hoped. Yet still, it had worked on some level all the same. Which made him start to wonder if it could possibly work when it came to another, newer kind of corruption instead. 

Steven wasn’t exactly sure what the result would be as he glanced over the back of his now-clawed hand, but as he looked to the vines sprouting from his back and thought about the pink petals that had overtaken his hair, he figured it was at least worth a try all the same. The moment he so much as skimmed the back of his hand with a gentle kiss, however, he found that everything went completely white and numb, until just as quickly, everything abruptly returned. 

Except plenty of things didn’t. Because instead of being involuntarily propped up on vines as he had been all day, the young Gem found himself sitting on the floor of the abandoned ship with not a single vine in sight. His skin had regained its usual pallor as opposed to the unnatural shade of pale pink it had become and his hands and hair, he found, were both just as normal as non-floral as they should have been. “I-I… I healed myself?!” he gasped, jumping to his feet, though he just as quickly collapsed to the ground. “O-oops, guess I gotta get used to walking around on my own again, b-but still, this is great!” He grinned brightly up at the trio of Centipeetles curiously watching him from above. “Thank you,” he said to Centi in particular. “I-I know my powers won’t work on you guys, but… maybe someday they will. And when they do, I’ll come back for you first, Centi, I promise.” Centi let out a bright, affectionate chip at this, one that Steven couldn’t help but return with a small, joyous laugh of his own. “B-but for now, I’ve gotta get back and see if I can help everyone else!”

Steven wasted no time in doing so, waving one final, fond farewell to Centi and her crew before he took off to return to town. And all the while, the trio of Centipeetles remained aboard their broken vessel, happy to be, if nothing else, together again, just as they had yearned for all that time apart. 

As soon as he warped himself back to the temple, Steven rushed out of it, running as fast as his admittedly sore legs could take him in place of having his vines tote him around. The chaos unfolding at the shack had hardly changed in the time that he’d been gone, withe Gems desperately trying and largely failing to reign the maddened humans among them back in. Still, as soon as they spotted Steven in his usual appearance, the Gems were all quick to hone in on him in rapt, excited, fervent attention. Still, despite the crowd, Steven steadily got to work, even if he did have a few doubts about whether or not his plan would really work at all. All the same, he started with Amethyst, landing a brief kiss against her muscled arm, one that, sure enough, enshrouded the purple Gem in light before reverting her form back to how it usually should have been. While grateful for Steven’s assistance, Amethyst did have the slightest complaints, namely that she had found her corrupted form to be rather fun and enjoyable, something Pearl readily disagreed with as soon as the young Gem healed her up next. Garnet was more than relieved to have her future vision back on hand as Steven healed her, and with her usual level-headedness, she got her teammates into action to round up the scattered humans while the young Gem healed Lapis and Peridot next. 

It had taken some doing, but between the three of them, the Gems had managed to round up Stan, Ford, and Wendy just as Steven finished off returning Greg and Soos to normal. The trio was still quite rowdy and untamed, which made approaching them a bit of a challenge for the young Gem, at least until Amethyst came up with the idea of a spray bottle on them. Miraculously, this managed to work as Steven mixed in a bit of his own healing spit into the water before the Gems spritzed the aggressive group with it, healing them in short order and leaving each of them quite embarrassed when they realized what had happened. 

With everyone at the shack healed up, Steven made it his immediate mission to find his scattered friends in the forest, a mission that the Gems were more than happy to join him on. Lapis took to the skies alongside Peridot to try and find any signs of Dipper (and Pacifica for that matter) while Steven and the others took to the ground to regroup with Mabel and hopefully Connie. They found the latter first, who had managed to reappear and nearly flew right into them while searching for the young Gem herself. As surprised as Connie was by how Steven had managed to heal everyone, they both found a unique challenge when he tried to do the same for her given her currently intangible form, one that he couldn’t seem to touch at all. That is, at least until Garnet suggested that they fuse. It was a bit awkward and difficult to do so, yet somehow, it worked, with Stevonnie taking on a partially physical form, though they did still hover above the ground while retaining something of a ghostly glow. Still, it was enough for the young Gem’s healing powers to work as they kissed their own arm, returning not just the fusion, but Connie herself back to normal once they warmly unfused. 

Since she was essentially unable to go anywhere else, Mabel had remained in her spot in her pool, staying under water the entire time so she could breath easier. Her expression was absolutely empty and she remained completely silent, even as Connie began propping her up out of the water so Steven could heal her. And as soon as he did, Mabel immediately snapped right back into her usual chatty self, even if she was a little disgruntled by her now wet skirt, socks, and shoes as she finally got out of the pool, able to walk on her own two returned legs once again. 

By then, Lapis and Peridot had returned with their report that they had spotted Dipper running off deeper into the forest. Not wanting to waste any time, Steven, Mabel, and Connie all raced to catch up with him, though when they found him, he wasn’t exactly alone. Pacifica had also managed to find him, though by now her newly predatory instincts had overtaken her as she cornered her frightened boyfriend as both her and her snakes prepared to take on their easy prey. This tense confrontation was put to a quick end as the other kids arrived to break it up, with the girls making use of the spray bottle on Pacifica while Steven managed to keep Dipper from slipping away again with a well-timed bubble so he could properly heal him. And as soon as the couple were both back in their right minds and usual bodies, they both soundly agreed to never speak of what had almost just transpired ever again. 

From there, healing the rest of the town from their monstrous plight was quite a daunting task for Steven and the others, though the spray bottle scheme did make doing so quite a bit easier. All it took was one spritz to each citizen-turned-creature and they were back to their usual fully-human forms. With the Gems and the Pines teaming up together to spread out through the town, it was only a matter of hours before every impacted resident had been healed (even if most of them had no idea exactly what the water that had done so actually contained). Still, the general consensus was a glad and grateful one amongst its citizens as Gravity Falls slowly but surely started getting back to normal (or at least as normal as the strange little town could be). 

“And that should be everyone,” Garnet noted, relying on her future vision to confirm that their mission was complete. While a handful of the others who had lended a hand had already headed back home, the kids and the Gems were the last to dole out healing to any remaining stragglers. And with the last few townsfolk healed and human again, the sun was just starting to set as the last of the group began to make their way back to the temple and the shack as well. “Good job, Steven.”

“Yeah! Magical healing powers for the win!” Mabel cheered as she ran alongside the young Gem. “Seriously, I’ve never missed having my legs this much!”

“And I’ve never missed having only two,” Dipper readily agreed with a sigh of relief. “Let’s just hope something like this never happens again. I don’t know if I can handle the whole “mindless deer panic” thing again.”

“Well, if it does ever happen again,” Connie spoke up, glancing over at Steven with a fond smile. “We know who we can count on to save the day next time, right?”

“Wrong,” Steven finally spoke up, his dejected expression more than apparent. “I couldn’t save everyone. You guys were right,” he looked up to the Gems. “I couldn’t help Centipeetle..”

“You brought the Centipeetle back to her ship,” Garnet said, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder. “You brought her back to her crew. They were waiting for her there. They didn’t want to leave her behind.”

“Wait…” Steven raised a confused eyebrow. “How did you know any of that?”

“She told us,” Garnet held up the previously discarded notepad Centi had sketched her story in. 

“Her drawings…?” Steven flipped through the book, perplexed. 

“Her writing,” the Gem leader corrected. 

“It’s actually decently legible!” Pearl pointed out the seemingly unintelligible scribbles Centi had written out. 

“Wow!” Steven grinned, glad that someone could make it out where they hadn’t been able to. “Um… did she mention anything about… the corrupting light?”

“Mm… no,” Pearl shook her head as she looked through the notepad. “Why do you ask?”

“Well…”

“Cause the light that turned everyone into monsters was totally the same thing!” Mabel interjected. “Or at least we think it was.”

“We also think Bill might have had something to do with it,” Dipper added disdainfully. “That’s why it actually worked on humans this time.”

The Gems exchanged a worried glance upon hearing this, none of them liking the idea of Bill and the Diamonds collaborating, especially on something like this, however plausible it might have been. Yet even so, they did manage to find a few holes in the kids’ theory all the same. “Uh, if it was corruption, then how was Steven able to heal us all up when he couldn’t do the same for your girl Centi?” Amethyst asked, confused. 

“I… don’t know,” Steven frowned, puzzled. “Maybe it just wasn’t as powerful this time? Even with Bill’s help?”

“Or maybe it was only one of the Diamonds instead of all three…” Garnet muttered quietly before Pearl quickly cut in. 

“W-well anyway, I suppose it doesn’t matter that much now that it’s all over and done with!” the white Gem exclaimed with a bit of a forced smile. 

“But… if Bill and the Diamonds can do something like this, then don’t you think we should be worried about what they’re planning next?” Dipper asked warily. 

“I-in the long term, yes…” Pearl ventured somewhat anxiously. “But for now-”

“For now, we won,” Garnet interjected. “Let’s celebrate that instead of worrying about what’s to come.”

Though Dipper let out something of a disgruntled sigh at this, the other kids largely agreed, especially Steven. Because just a few hours ago, he had thought he might have very well lost his friends and his family for good, to something that had been far out of anyone’s control. Yet now, through a miraculous turn of fate and a little of his own miraculous magic thrown in, here they all were, together and back to their normal selves again, just as they should have been. Well, almost all as they should have been. 

“Hey, Pearl?” Steven began, glancing down at the notepad once more. “Can you teach me how to write in Gem?”

“Oh, Steven, it’s very complicated,” Pearl said with a small smile. “And you won’t have much use for it.”

“Oh, I just want to know a few things like, ‘Hi, how are you?’, ‘Where’s the bathroom?’ and-” Steven stopped short as he flipped to the last drawing Centi had left behind, of the trio of diamonds representing the ones who had damaged her, and so many other innocent Gems in the process, seemingly beyond repair. Or at least it was for now, something that he could only hope to somehow change someday for Centi and her friends, just as he had for all of his. “And ‘I’m sorry’...”

Next:

[zontiky]

Okay but au where they're not all related and five is a mysterious orphan Diego keeps running into at odd hours of the night and then him just being like "fuck it he's like 13 he can't be out alone at night" and then just takes him home like a godamn stray and five is THRIVING under the positive attention he never had I beg of you please feed my soul. Also sorry if this doesn't make sense I've had 2 hours of sleep and like 8 coffees today

i think i’ve read a fic similar to this but FUCK YEAH let’s do this (sorry im so late btw i havent been feeling bullet points lately fksjdfks) ALSO HEY OP PLEASE DON’T DIE I HOPE YOU’RE OK??? 

so diego is still a cop and he’s patrolling or doing whatever it is that cops do, and then he sees a kid sitting in an alley

obviously he pulls over like “hey kid you okay?” and the kid is like “shut up go away bootlicker” and diego is instantly “okay then come on im taking you to get food”

the kid doesn’t want to go but at the same time diego can tell he knows that there’s really no better options. this child looks hungry

so the kid and diego go to griddy’s and the kid says his name is five when asked

“that’s not a name”

“is too”

diego+fam have a long history of trauma and reginald called them by number which was their birth order or something? idk OH SHIT WAIT YOU SAID NOT ALL RELATED OK OK COOL SO

luther is a mechanic who diego knows because he’s the dude who’s often the one repairing his car, they’re on pretty good terms and go out for coffee sometimes because luther hates alcohol and diego’s body is a temple so he doesn’t drink

diego is diego he’s a cop but he’s highkey broke and i really don’t know how much cops get paid? hm

ok google says from 34.6k - 89.4k a year and numbers mean nothing to me so lets say he’s just a gremlin who lives in a boiler room because it’s efficient

OR he’s still dating eudora and lives with her

you know what that’s probably the better option i’m gonna go with that. they don’t have as much childhood trauma even though none of the “siblings” come from exactly good homes? but none of them were raised by reggie mcfuckface so it’s less like,,, bad even though they’re all fucked up

WAIT DO THEY HAVE THEIR POWERS

HELL YEAH THEY HAVE THEIR POWERS

ok ok so luther is a mechanic who uses his super strength and endurance to just fucking carry cars around his garage and i know NOTHING about mechanics as a profession but but but luther is good at what he does

diego is a cop who lives with eudora and throws knives like a boss. he also throws tennis balls really hard because stabbing people on duty isn’t advised

you know what? i’m gonna say allison ISNT a movie star, shes a smaller actress with minor roles here and there because she’s a mom and spends time with claire. she doesn’t use her rumor as much because honestly she doesn’t see a reason to? like sometimes she’ll go “i heard a rumor you gave me a free shot of coffee” and like,,, that’s it shfskd

her and patrick are still divorced but that’s because they did it the healthy way. they knew they were drifting apart but instead of rumoring him they broke it off mutually and they still meet up for coffee. they’re friends ok. claire loves her parents

klaus! klaus has problems but because im a soft bitch dave is here in 2019. he’s… also a mechanic…. they all know eachother but dave knows luther and diego pretty well. luther via work and diego via luther

yes klaus! so klaus has a history of drugs and addiction, because while he wasn’t shoved into a mausoleum ghosts screaming at you all the fucking time doesn’t help with staying sober

but because he has a support network he can fall back on he’s doing well, he’s a barista in a coffee shop that allison and patrick & diego and luther frequent

shoutout to klaus

five is an orphan he’s 13 and small and kind of a genius? fuck what if as a kid five accidentally time-traveled to 2019 and thaT’S HOW HE BECAME AN ORPHAN 

galaxy brain

so five is this kid in the wrong time living on the streets not knowing how things work

i mean he does obviously because he catches on quick and he’s smart but really he doesn’t know how some shit works ok. he’s clueless when it comes to technology and pop culture and shit

ben!! ben is alive!! he’s a part time writer and a full time librarian!! he knows klaus because during his homeless days klaus stuck around the library because free bathrooms and also reading to take his mind off the ghosts. they become really close and ben gets klaus to move in with him and then he’s trying to get sober and then ben’s car crashes and that’s how they meet luther and dave OHHHH

additionally: klaus illustrates some of ben’s books because he knows how to draw yay

vanya! she’s first chair in the orchestra and she’s dating helen cho because i say so

so vanya kicks ass at violin, she’s being gay teaching lessons all that good shit what more is there to say

harold isn’t here because there was never an umbrella academy

hmmm back to the,,, actual plot,,, im sorry sksfhdjsk

SO DIEGO FINDS FIVE RIGHT

AND HE’S LIKE “oh no this child is awakening my paternal instincts oh no i have to take him home with me now”

eudora opening the door to see her husband boyfriend with an angry looking teenager at his side: dear god what did you do this time

eudora instantly bonds with five and i mean INSTANTLY like she lays eyes on him and goes “child?? small?? looks lonely?? must protect” and five looks at her like “badass looking lady she probably knows what shes doing might as well ask for info and stuff” but hes actually thinking “oh dang she looks like she knows what she’s doing RESPECT” and yeah ksdjhsdkf

then five expects them to be mean or just get tired of him and kick him out but?? they dont??? wack

diego is instantly like “kid where do you live”

‘um’

“you live somewhere right???”

‘UM’

they find out he’s legally dead and thats another can of worms entirely

so they register and foster five

diego and eudora are registered foster parents you cannot change my mind alright

then five is introduced to luther and dave, and also ben and klaus because theyre hanging around the shop bc it’s their off day

so five instantly has 4 more people giving him instant love and validation and he’s like “woah”

THEN ALLISON AND PATRICK

claire too,, claire immediately adopts five as her older brother

this entire time five is like “i can’t stay im gonna leave soon you all know this right” and eveybody is “yep ok sure” but they all know hes gonna stay

hhHHHH GAME NIGHTS

five beats everybody at scrabble

diego beats everybody at darts, even though everybody calls him out for cheating

vanya beats everybody at musical chairs. she levitates the chairs so nobody can sit down

luther beats everybody at outdoor games. do not play tag with this man you might not make it out alive

allison is the QUEEN of blurt! 

ben is so good at charades it’s unfair

klaus honestly sucks at board games, but he always wins uno and nobody knows how (its the ghosts skfhsdkf)

five is so confused because its obvious all of them are cheating but??? nobody cares?? what

“it’s because it’s fun nobody is actually upset”

whaaaaaaat

so they have to explain to him that they dont play to win they play to have fun and its just a fun thing they do to spend time together and bond

five: mind blown

THEY TAKE HIM TO AN AQUARIUM

BEN JUST CHILLS WITH THE OCTOPI THE ENTIRE TIME

FIVE BONDS WITH CRABS

THEY ALL LOVE SEALS

five gets exposed to modern culture!! klaus and ben teach him memes is what i’m saying 

five goes to school!!! he makes friends!!!! they have nice sleepovers and diego and eudora make them cookies :’)

i want to say. okay so.

reginald exists and he had made grace eariler as preparation for the children he was going to adopt, but he died before he could buy any babies

so grace exists! and!! she knows the “siblings”!!!

so five has a grandma because im not going to lie grace is basically all of their’s mom

she lives in the mansion but she can go outside and DO THINGS and she makes them COOKIES and she LOVES HER KIDS and GRANDKIDS and five ADORES her ok

basically five is happy with his pseudo family that’s it thank you for your time

wait no actually he figures out how to time travel safely and he does go back and forth

sometimes he pops in and he’s like “hey we ran out of milk” and then a second later he’s like “for the love of god wait until tomorrow to get milk dont ask why you dont wanna know” and its obvious that he came back from the future and HHHHHH YES

the commission can’t do shit because found family love is simply too strong

hazel and agnes are the nice couple who run griddys and birdwatch

five is fond of them too honestly like he just loves going to griddys because it has so many happy memories for him and its where he met diego (sorta) and also yay hazel and agnes!!

SO YEAH BASICALLY: FIVE IS HAPPY AND THIS AU IS GOD TIER THANK YOU

THIS IS A GOOD ONE I LIKE THIS AU THANK YOU

[andvs]

◊ ♫ ◊— look what the cat dragged in! that’s ANDREA DE LUCA and SHE is an around 24-year-old REGULAR to the store, but they’ve been in the neighborhood for 1 YEAR & EIGHT MONTHS. I think they are a FASHION DESIGNER and I overheard them listening to UNSTEADY by X AMBASSADORS, and, I dunno man, it seemed pretty fitting. Like, call me shallow but I look at them and think of SOFIA CARSON and FEELING ALONE IN A ROOM FULL OF PEOPLE, FALTERED SMILES BEHIND DESIGNER GLASSES, and THE SOUND OF HEELS AGAINST MARBLE FLOORS.

tw: drug abuse mention

hi !! my name is courtney and this is my human elite trash bag andrea !! she is gio’s little sister (she was adopted but that’s another story hey) and she will ! judge you on what kind of clothes you are wearing :/ she’s that :// kind of person :/ 

name: andrea eleanora de luca  nickname(s): the only person who would call her andrea is her mother, and only when she’s in trouble, otherwise it’s just andy ://  sexuality: bisexual queen  family: bart & samantha de luca (parents), aldo de luca (brother, older), giovanni de luca (brother, older) & beckett liao (nephew, younger) 

she was only a few days old !! when her birth parents died,,,, supposedly,,,, and the de luca’s adopted her, probably for some pr stunt :/ or genuine kindness out of their hearts :/ but nevertheless, a spoiled life with a silver spoon in her mouth was what andrea grew up to knew, with her big brown eyes and adorable smile, it meant she was able to get away with more than what her brothers could :// 

even from a young age, andrea was always so headstrong and competitive, she got what she wanted and it didn’t matter how she got it. in primary school she was always picked first in sports, she was ahead in her class, she was a mini regina george without everybody fanning over her rip andy’s rights :// 

with the de luca’s being nothing more than successful, it drove andrea’s need to be better than everybody around her :// sorry if you went to school with her :// with her father being a senator, andy knew she had to at least live a pristine life, keeping things behind closed doors - so she learned, she studied hard and focused on school, aced every test, just to get her father’s attention. she kept her addiction to adhd medication a secret, her string of broken hearts and lipstick stains in the closet; all with a flutter of her eyelashes and a pretty smile. 

fitting right into the de luca’s world of politics and high society, andrea got accepted into law school and it was there that her drug addiction came to a head; finally finding the confidence to confide in her mother who quietly sent her to rehab for a few months before college started on the condition that if she relapsed, she would be sent back home indefinitely. to be honest, andrea would have rather been locked away in a remote island than to go home. 

she had a taste of freedom and she wanted more. andrea completed her stint at rehab and now that she was out of the house and away from the crushing pressure of being senator de luca’s daughter it was finally time to thrive and find out who andy really was. and she... really did not want to be a law student...... yikes. but still ! andy stuck it out because she ! was not going to be the second child to disappoint their parents !! when she was around 21 she met who she thought was the love :/ of her life :/ can i call double yikes??? im calling it 

charlie was everything andrea thought love to be. he was charming, funny, smooth - awkward at the best times; andrea couldn’t help but love him completely. their love was a whirlwind of emotions - they talked about everything from how many kids, to what pets they wanted, talking about saving for an apartment after law school.... y’all they even got engaged :((( 

planning a wedding while ??? still going to law school while deciding if you even still wanted to be a lawyer was just stress on stress .... for charlie apparently; on the day of what was supposed to be Andrea’s best day was probably one of the worst, because she was left at the alter by the person who she thought she was plannign to spend the rest of her life with ! standing there staring at an empty spot where her fiance was supposed to be with her entire family ? and high society friends ? staring at her ... embarrassing 

shortly after, andy dropped out of law school and moved away. and she kept moving 

she settled into new york, she went back to school eventually and worked on a fashion degree & she’s now (soon to be) starting her own fashion line ??? if she gets her shit in line !! we love a girl who has goals 

i want to say gio and andy were close as kids but sudhejfkds lets be real andy was a spoiled kid who really only mellowed out in her late teens and by then it was prob too late !!! she lowkey misses him and wished she had someone to turn to ://

personality !!

she can be in a room full of people and still feel alone, she second guesses herself & who she is but ! she is still from a prestigious family so andy is outwardly elegant, poised, always with a smile on her face. she can be easily angered but since rehab she’s worked on letting go of a lot of shit that has the potential to ruin her. she knows her way around politics and a debate, though with her competitive streak comes her need for other medications she’s not prescribed so she tends to stay away from that. 

in saying that though ! andy can also be manipulative to get what she wants, she’s blunt & can be overly sarcastic and critical of herself & others. especially if you have no dress sense. 

in the last year or so she’s def more vulnerable and keeps more to herself, she used to revel in the spotlight but now she just kind of ? shies away from it from the last time she got bad publicity for being left at the altar :/ 

wanted connections !! 

best friends - someone who knows allllll of this mess and can still !! put up with her shit would be !! amazing. i’m talking best friends who can potentially live together in an apartment doing !! best friend things !! g vie me 

child hood friends - someone from andy’s childhood who probably ran in the same social circle as her. their families would be friends ?? u know. doctor fams, lawyer fams, ... rich fams. they don’t necessarily have to be friends now but !! someone who knew what andrea used to be like would be nice 

enemies - hell fuckin yeah. someone andrea just cant stand, y’know, it can be completely one-sided on andy’s part & your characters just caught in the crossfire, or it could go both ways. idk maybe they both went to school together skdkg f

exes: since andy was a teenager & after she got left at the alter, she left a string of broken hearts wherever she went. i’m feeling if this was after that whole thing, bc andrea’s kind of... hating the idea of love, she could have rlly done a number on your character etc. 

anything ! everything ! talk to me i love u all !

[iglooface]

Just Venting bc I'm feeling down but I'm too nervous to bother any particular person or friend bc I don't want to damper their mood bc I'm not perfect

Okay but like is this a universal experience to just be brutally compared to your siblings and peers to the point where you can't even validate yourself for any progress. I just feel like shit today bc of the effect my sister's life has on me. Throughout my highschool experience I tried so fucking hard to make my parents proud but I was never enough and I never will be honestly. But that won't stop me from subconsciously yearning for their approval and validation so I can feel just an ounce of closure in my life. I'd come home with all A's and be at the top of my class in every subject but my parents would say things like "well if you're so good then why are you in regular classes when your sister is in AP World History?" Because we all know the best way to bring up children's spirits is to break down all signs of confidence. Or if when a class got hard and I started getting B's and C's they'd lecture me about how "our family doesn't get B's and C's" and I'd get grounded instead of helped. Or the fact that I graduated nearly a whole year early because of my intensive school work but "your older sister is already moved out and married, what's your excuse" even though I was literally only 17 fucking years old.

Or how about when you were 12 or 13 and you cried and begged every day to not be sent back to school because of how viciously you were being bullied by your peers and that your teacher was verbally abusing you every day and straight up beating you most days as well. But no, you still went back bc "everybody hates school, deal with it."

How often did I need to be told to suffer silently until I just gave up? How many times did I have to be beaten and burned for having emotions until I just stopped? How many of my friends and teachers needed to die before I could no longer have reasons to allow myself to feel any emotion other than happy, helpful, and ready to serve? How is it that I went to school all thirteen years constantly bleeding, bruised, and having minimal sleep and watched the people I loved most take their lives only to outshine my sisters records and surpass every educational goal I was given only to be yelled at and constantly lectured about not being enough? Was it because I couldn't hold a job because of my health and that I was a full time highschool student? Was it because I was a "troubled" kid bc my friends dyed their hair and had piercings? Or was it that I was born a girl when my parents wanted a boy? What the fuck did I do so wrong that everyone around me saw it fit to see how far I could be pushed before I snapped and killed myself.

I can't emphasize this enough, but I was being beaten abused every day in school by a fucking teacher when I was 13. For an entire year. And no matter the toll it took on my physical, mental, and emotional health, nor how many peers it took from me, me how many times I went home exhausted and on the verge of throwing up I was just told to get over it. That I was told that if it was really that bad someone would help me. That I would be saved. Someone would notice and care. But instead I was left scared and alone and had adopted animal like behaviors to protect myself. I couldn't socialize without panicking and I hated being touched, perceived, and even talking. Three of my friends killed themselves over the treatment. And my teachers died intermittently just to add some spice. I couldn't look people in the eyes and I flinched at any movement towards me and loud sounds made me cry. I developed such a bad panic disorder that I had a panic attack so intense it sent me into full blown shock and stopped my heart for 20 seconds and I stayed blacked out for over three hours. All because I was told to get over it and suffer silently. My parents didn't care, they just wanted me quiet and low maintenance. I was treated like an animal instead of a child.

I overdosed on drugs so many times I can't even remember them all because I was hoping that maybe if I didn't wake up, even if it was just for a few hours or days, I'd be better. If I took enough chemical damage I would forget my trauma and become better. That anything I'm the damn world was better than living another day with my wretched circumstances.

And you know what happened? I got in trouble for things my sisters did.

My younger sister took and flunked spanish as a freshman. She willingly signed up for spanish 2 as a sophomore despite not wanting to. She then started throwing temper tantrums constantly and eventually spiralled into threatening to kill herself because she didn't want to take that forsaken class. And I got in trouble for it. I was told I should have told her or guided her so that she wouldn't have signed up for spanish and she would have taken literally any other fucking class available. I was in the wrong bc I was focused on my own schooling and didn't have an omnipotent control over my sister and her education schedule.

Move forward to current day, only about eight months later. My sister's coworker's friend commit suicide via train last night. I instinctively knew I'd be in trouble bc that's just how it works in my family. Despite having received no disciplinary actions last night I was still incredibly nervous because I could feel the impending danger of the situation. Once my sister was at work today my mom lectured me and yelled at me for three hours about how the co-worker's friend commit suicide and how it was bad and selfish of me to have had friends in the past who killed themselves in a time like this. That my past trauma was problematic because I couldn't undo it. That it was bad and sinful of me to even know people who committed suicide when people like my sister new people of the same circumstances. I was in trouble for someone's actions even though I didn't even have a remote relationship to the person. How dare I even have trauma when my sister is suicidal and has a coworker with a dead friend. That I should serve her hand and foot even moreso than I already do bc "she's coping" even though she literally didn't even know the guy. I'm also in trouble because if she keeps flunking her classes she has rn she's going to be forced to drop out and that will make her life harder. If you look closely with your double seeing glasses you can see the amount of bullshit they used to connect those dots.

But let me get this straight, I'm in trouble for having a rough go at school and graduating with honors and a year early and that my sister is suicidal and flunking classes she chose to take and she gets to drop out bc she can't handle the consequences of her own fucking decisions. Yeah. Cuz that makes sense. Child 2 is in trouble bc Child 3 acts irrationally.

Maybe it's the lack of any form of emotional release, maybe it's the pent up rage and anger and depression that I've built up in the last thirteen years, but not a damn thing makes sense there

[nonbinarysasukes]

hokage!kushina au

minato rejected being hokage bc he knew his fiance had always wanted it, and bc he knew she had better leadership skills, so he recommended her for the post instead. and when the new hokage was announced as kushina uzumaki, kushina didn’t cry (minato did though). she squealed and hugged minato, then calmed herself down saying, “a hokage has to be cool and composed-ttebane!”

because of kushina’s smart thinking to put mikoto and fugaku on watch while she’s birthing, kurama is held back and sealed into her once more after naruto is born. minato and kushina raise their son into a wonderful (gay) boy. kushina and her bff mikoto find out abt danzo and have him sentenced to death. the members of root, including the children, are freed. 

kushina also abolishes the shitty team setup of “two boys one girl” and starts failing the incompetent boys and passing more girls instead. women’s rights in konoha have never been this good. more than half the anbu is now the women who never got a chance to fight bc of konoha’s elitist system. mikoto is promoted to captain like she should have been so many years ago.

kushina outlaws the hyuuga branch system to much outrage which thankfully calms down soon enough. hinata is never kidnapped bc konoha’s guards aren’t negligent. as a result, hizashi never dies, and he and neji are treated fairly. neji, hinata and hanabi grow up like siblings. hinata grows out of her stuttering habit and becomes a calm, mature young ninja. hanabi is the same bright, talented firework who goes on to lead the hyuuga. neji settles down with lee and gaara as an anbu of konoha many years later.

team gai remains the same, with their wholesome dynamic. neji plays along with lee’s rivalry, all the while hiding his huge crush on lee. tenten just smirks at them the whole time.

tenten gets to study under kushina - surprisingly the uzumaki clan also has a history of weapons. tenten falls in love immediately. she and temari draw in the chuunin exams and tenten gets enough courage to ask her out. they get married after steadily dating for five years straight. temari is the kazekage, so they get to meet on political missions (which end up being just makeout sessions but no one needs to know)

team 8 have kurenai sensei, as usual. she’s not with asuma bc he’s a creep but dates shizune instead. kibahinashino is a thing ok?! hinata is the team leader no questions asked. kiba and shino work amazingly well with her and they all lead feminist rallies together. kurenai has fun with her kids.

anko gets actual. fucking. therapy. kushina lets her nuke oro***maru herself. jiraiya is given a proper dressing-down for his perverted and irresponsible behavior and reforms himself. he takes an active interest in helping orphans and starts tons of orphanages. tsunade returns to konoha eventually and is also given a right scolding by rin and kushina. shizune joins in too.

kakashi, who moved in with kushina and minato not long after obito’s “death”, grows up as naruto’s big bro/uncle of sorts. rin grows to become a strong medic-nin, even learning from tsunade, and is easily able to fight off her kidnappers with a few punches, thus staying alive. obito never finds rin’s body and soon realises madara’s intents, managing to kill him while he’s asleep and running home to konoha where he reunites with his team. obito is fully pardoned by kushina, who gives him a huge hug as she announces his pardoning. minato cries.

there’s no uchiha coup bc they saved the whole damn village and are now respected and well loved. the uchihas also show their warmer side to konoha, which endears them further. fugaku retires from ninja work bc he’s Stressed TM and becomes a househusband. mikoto’s cool enough for both of them anyway, he reasons.

kakashi retires from ninja-ing at 20 and starts dating gai, whom obito sets him up with. rin and obito become the closest of friends but never get together bc obito gets over his puppy crush and rin’s aro. yamato adopts shin and sai, and obito and yamato start dating. 

naruto, sasuke and sakura are still put on the same team with yamato as a sensei, but naruto and sasuke grow up as really close friends. sakura never has a rivalry with ino bc sasuke’s always goofing around with naruto and doesn’t come off as ‘cool’ and ‘crushable’ - though he does grow into his coolness later lmao - and sakura later starts dating ino. (sasuke and naruto and sai set them up.)

team 7 are the BEST of friends, and when sai is added to the team (having had to undergo therapy to reverse root’s brainwashing) he fits in perfectly. he and sasuke have fun making dick jokes. naruto and sakura just face-palm at the two.

naruto’s still a bit of a goof and quite awkward, but he doesn’t have such a problem with chakra as he used to. he’s also talented with sealing, having been taught by kushina personally! he’s all-round average as he doesn’t have much stamina, but a brave shinobi. when he is fourteen he’s made the jinchuriki in an official ceremony.

sasuke pretends he can control naruto through his sharingan and scares him for nearly a month before revealing he’s joking. naruto was so mad (esp bc kushina and minato played along, like of COURSE)

sakura learns from rin rather than tsunade, who turns out to be a wayyyy better role model. she learns a lot about being a medic-nin and even develops her own style of taijutsu - blossom fist, which relies on strong and super-fast attacks by focusing on making the chakra overflow in an opponent’s bones, essentially breaking them. sakura also spends a lot of time with sasuke, both training their genjutsu together.

sasuke awakens his sharingan when he is twelve and itachi comes home half-dead from a mission. he turns out to be extremely talented with the doujutsu, perhaps more so than any member of his clan. itachi teaches him swordplay as well. sasuke also hones his lightning ability and, having never relied on the mangekyou, becomes a master of the regular ability of the sharingan. he receives training from kakashi and becomes almost as good a copy-nin as him.

tenten becomes hokage soon after kushina. sakura is her right-hand. sasuke and naruto are joint anbu captains (minato and fugaku are so proud). kushina officiates sakura and ino’s wedding. everyone’s actually happy.

kushina is regarded as konoha’s strongest hokage until tenten. she and tenten are considered to be on the same level. they’re even called “the twin queens” across the five shinobi countries.

anyway thank you for coming to my ted talk lol ik this got long but i wanted everyone and sadly i couldn’t have the akatsuki and everybody bc let’s be real how much can i type? i might put it in a part 2 tho!

[earthangel]

purple!! 🔮

hi there 💛 so sorry for answering late but still tysm for sending an ask, i'll answer & send u one right away 🥺

purple: what’s your astrological sign?

gemini sun, cancer moon, cap rising!! ✨

what’s the best piece of advice you ever received?

weirdly enough the best pieces of advice i've ever received come from the ppl i dislike the most

anyways, my dad used to tell me that fear is a cage & i'm the one w the key. he's also always told me that u should love ur child long before they're conceived or even like, thought of, yk? & my sister once told me to let my feelings wash over me when they get too much, like "water off a duck's back". so ig they were right abt those things at least

when’s the last time you followed your instincts?

hm. i think i'm always following my instincts, but if u mean in a way that's changed my life, then there were two times; the first one was to go through w my decision of doing theater in high school despite everybody telling me it was a dead-end study area, & also choosing to date my current bf instead of the other very toxic guy i was talking to at the time. i don't think as happy as i am today if i hadn't done those two things!!!

there are a bunch of other times where following my intuition made me happy, but those weren't as life-changing!

what’s your favorite food?

anything full of vegetables that i've cooked for myself from scratch, same for my bf + traditional brazilian dishes.

what’s your secret dream?

i don't consider my dreams to be a secret... but i have a ton of dreams. i wanna tour the world as a theater actress & also become someone who's as magic a writer as jenny slate or richard siken, or mary oliver. i also want to adopt children & give those children the home they deserved from the very beginning. i also dream of building my own big family. i have many relatives back in brazil but haven't kept in touch & i discovered i don't want to. i want my own chosen family next to me

for now that's a bit complicated bc i don't have many friends but i hope the universe will help me by putting the right ppl in my life. 💛

✨

[oh-mother-of-darkness]

answers (16)

Anonymous said: A lot of these secrets are really serious and sad so heres a lighter one: me and my sister are knitting christmas socks for the whole family as a surprise. Ive never knit a pattern before but im really good!!

Amazing!! 

Anonymous said: idk if your still doing this but my secret is I fear im a terrible person who only acts nice to rick people into liking her and ik that actually does make me an okay but i still feel im doing it for the wrong reasons and someones going to get too close and find out the truth and hate me

That’s very self aware of you, I think-- probably too self aware. You’re absolutely right to say it’s the trying that matters, but I’m not gonna blame you for worrying about it. I have similar concerns about myself sometimes. I’m aware that for me personally they’re partially justified. Some of my kindness is self motivated. 

I think though (and it seems like you already know this) it’s the effect of the kindness that matters. Maybe it’s better for me if I have “pure” intentions, but if I don’t, I should still do the kind things anyway, right? Because at the end there’s still going to be good. And there’s nothing bad about actively trying to be good, which is all we’re doing. 

Anonymous said: my secret is that ive been chasing after a dream my whole life but im not sure ill ever achieve it. times running out and i dont know what to do if i cant. i feel like my whole life has been put on standby and i dont know the way out. i know ill be okay in the end but i dont know what the end will be and that scares me.

Shit that’s relatable. You really will be okay, but it’s terrifying in the meantime, isn’t it? To have those turning points bearing down on you?

Things will happen. You can’t stop that. Time is gonna continue, but you’ll still be there at the end. Your head’s already in the right place. 

Anonymous said: My secret is that I really, really like one of my friends, but he has a girlfriend and slept with one of my best friends when they were both super drunk. I want the feelings to stop and go back to being just friends, because I honestly think I don't have a chance, but there is a small part of me that doesn't want to let go. I don't know what to do.

Well that’s a bitch of a situation, isn’t it? Romantic feelings aren’t really my area, but I understand holding on to things you consciously want to let go. Emotions always feel like part of me, you know? I don’t want to tear them away. Sometimes it’s better to do it, though. I don’t know from a few sentences if that’s the case here, but I hope you find the way that’s the best for you 

Anonymous said: My secret is I used to be suicidal, in my pre/early teens. I had realised I was lesbian in a small, largely Catholic town and hated myself for it. I was awful at social situations and couldn’t make friends. I hated myself for having baby fat because I danced part time. Then as I got older I slowly got more confident until one day a friend died I realised that holy shit I used to be suicidal and I could have killed myself. I’m terrified that I might get like that again and actually do it

Honestly, and I know this is gonna sound cliche, but I’m always in awe of folks like you. I don’t handle my own mental health issues super well most of the time, and to hear about someone growing? Changing? Getting better? Amazing

Anonymous said: If you're still taking these... my secret is that I don't want to give birth to children ever, and would consider adopting instead (when I'm older), but if I were to voice that to any family member or even an acquitance, they would shun me for it and make sure they try to talk me out of it. I really hate how conservative people put so many expectations on my shoulders

Heyyyyyy same. I’m not planning on birthing any kids, but my parents have come down pretty heavily on the single-women-should-not-adopt-children thing, which is.... bullshit. I’m gonna adopt some kids one day, whether they like it or not. 

You know your own mind and your own plans. Other people don’t have to be happy about them, even (maybe especially) family members. 

Anonymous said: My secret is that I’m a bad friend. I don’t make time for the few friends I have and spend most my time working or being in my room. They deserve better than me.

I don’t think you’re a bad friend. Not being around isn’t bad-friend behavior. You’re not hurting anyone. You’re not doing anything wrong. And I certainly don’t think that it justifies the idea that they should leave you. Relationships are always kinda a difficult balancing act, but you don’t have to be perfect at balancing it, you know?

Anonymous said: My secret is that I'm extremely self-sufficient, I've always had to be. But because there's no one else taking care of me it's so hard to invest my time in others because I'll neglect my own mental state. It make sit hard to develop stable relationships. Every once in a while I re-realize that I'm no one's priority so I have to be my own. And it just sucks.

Shit anon that’s really really rough. It makes me sad with you. I’m not going to tell you you’re wrong, because I don’t know, do I? But I hope you are. 

Anonymous said: My secret is I imagine myself as OCs I create for certain fandoms like Young Justice or Castlevania, and I spend all my time daydreaming of how I would act in episodes and how I would interact with the characters. I think it’s because I’m not satisfied with my life, and I’m also afraid that this makes me either weird or crazy.

Oh biggest mood

I do that too. I’m not in a position to say whether that’s a good or bad thing, but I like to think it just makes us creative. For me, it eventually found an outlet in writing, and that’s been a big source of joy in my life. I had some unpleasant experiences sharing that stuff with people in the past, but for me? I don’t worry about it anymore. I know a lot of people that do similar stuff.

Write some fanfiction, maybe :) You might be real good at it

Anonymous said: My secret is I’m secretly attracted to people who are better than me at stuff

That’s not really my area, but seems to me that’s a pretty good thing to be attracted to. One of the sweetest things I hear around school is people talking about how their partners are going to be such good lawyers. It’s cute. 

Anonymous said: My secret is that my anxiety is crushing me. I don't want to feel this way anymore.

Oh, anon. I just.... feel you. I’ve been really struggling lately with the idea that other people move through life without that handicap, and it amazes and angers me. Why don’t I get that? Why am I like this? It isn’t fair. 

And it isn’t. It just isn’t. You didn’t ask to death match your brain every second of the day. You’re not any worse than everyone else, so why do you have to suffer? I don’t know. I really don’t.

The only happy thing I can say to you is people do heal. It’s bullshit that it takes so much time and effort, but it is possible. I’m better off now than I was five years ago, even if it did take five years and a whole lot of therapy, medication, and energy. You shouldn’t have to fight like this, but you can, and you can win. 

Anonymous said: My secret is Im so bitter most of the time that I cant be happy for others. Me and my best friend are both singers but I can never be happy for her when she gets compliments or any success bc im jealous and im scared I'll never learn to be selfless and happy for other people

You’re only human. You have human emotions. You have every right to feel them. The only thing that matters is your choices, because that’s the only thing you can control. 

I’m so sorry you’re scared. That’s another emotion you have every right to feel 

Anonymous said: My secret is that sometimes I hated myself for not express what I felt because I thought they'll hate me or make distance of me but I'm learning to express my feelings to others and try to be more confidence :) I hope you'll be brave too and do whatever you want to do 💜

I wanna be anon when I grow up 

Anonymous said: My secret is that my hands hurt all the time but in different ways, and I’m scared to get help because I’m scared they’ll tell me I’m making it up or being dramatic.

Man do I hate the shit people put you through to get medical help. Everybody’s entitled to ask, aren’t they? So why are we all making that difficult? Why are we making people feel bad about their own pain?

I understand your fear, but I hope you start asking questions anyway. Other people’s opinions about it aren’t your fault

Anonymous said: My secret is that my dermatillomania has gotten way worse since I got to college, so I’m having to wear headscarves again to keep myself from picking my scalp. I smuggled my scarf collection out of my room without telling my parents.

I’m sorry, anon. That’s difficult. That sucks. That’s bullshit. 

Anonymous said: my secret is that when one of my family members says something homophobic I'll laugh and agree because I'm afraid that they'll disown me if there's any shred of proof that I'm LGBT and it makes me feel like such filth

That’s not your fault. It’s theirs for making you feel unsafe, because your safety really should be your first priority! That’s okay! You’re not being a bad person by doing it. You’re just protecting someone. You’re allowed to make that someone you

[totallygayforrukiakuchiki]

Why I love Rukia Kuchiki (aka rlly important facts that make her the best female manga character ever )

- First I have to say I love everything about her : how well-written she is, even her short temper, her ugly drawings, how funny she is, her love for plushies and cute things, her cluelessness about the human world like she cannot even open a juice box omg, how good she is at acting, the fact that she loves sweet food, her bickering with Ichigo, her small habits and everything that makes Rukia.... Rukia.

((The pics are only here to illustrate ( lol) I didn’t do any reseach and used the ones I already had so it’s SO NOT exhaustive))

Now let’s start with the deeper stuff PLEASE READ:

- Super selfless I mean even TOO SELFLESS for her own good, even Ichigo states that she should care about herself for once, this girl is selfless to the point of self-sacrificing and blames herself for just ??? Self-defending?

- Super forgiving , cannot believe how this girl has forgiven Byakuya, Renji, Urahara, Kira & co without thinking about it twice and never holds a grudge against them.

- Has the strongest sense of justice among all the characters. (Refuses to hurt Riruka, her speech to ichigo at the beginning of the manga, etc etc) Because before “protecting loads and loads of ppl” became ichigo’s motto it was hers.

She is willing to give her life to save human souls and to go anywhere for them. Honestly if even 50 ⁒ of the shinigami has her sense of duty the world would be ideal

- She is a tiny girl. Who can kick your ass and order you around. She is also able to stand on her own and OMG that’s so refreshing a shonen heroine who is selfless and caring but needs no man and is bossy THANK YOU. I mean she has all these qualities but still she can act boyish and punch you in the face or kick you if needed.

- She is FUCKING beautiful/ pretty without even trying and without fitting the standards She is also super graceful like woooooow. (And don’t fight me on this. Mizuiro, Keigo, her whole gang from the Rukongai, Hantarou, and even Orihime said so). I’d even say she can be sexy too, looking at Kubo’s drawings (dancing with Snow White, Mafia colorspread, honeymoon colorspread, Halloween costume etc etc)

- Extremely brave. Always ready to jump in front of danger and ready to die to protect ! (Even from her first appearance in the manga) (and she did it again)

- Has been through so much shit and is still so strong and amazing. She started off in the Rukongai as a kid with no family and had to steal food and fight to survive. Might have gotten killed everyday, it was hell litterally.

Lost all her friends to death except Renji.

Entered the academy and lost her best friend, her childhood friend, the only person she had left . Was adopted by her noble step-brother who didn’t even bother to look at her for 40 years and made her feel like a nuisance / a disappointment (I am not blaming anyone here, I know they may have their reasons I am just stating the facts).

Was bullied at the academy and had NO FRIENDS because people considered that she didn’t deserve to be here and only got a place bc she was privileged and a noble.

Had to kill the only man who ever looked at her as “Rukia”, understood her and was here for her when she was in the academy (and whom she loved - and if you think otherwise I’ll assume you have the emotional awareness of a pebble or cannot read a panel properly)

- Super self conscious despite having it all??? (Am I good enough? Do I deserve to be here? I nii-sama doesn’t look at me it’s probably that I am worth nothing) Girl stop doubting and blaming yourself !!! You are amazing !! (I relate a lot so that makes me love her more).

I’ll just add this , this is from her wiki page: “her cool and lone demeanor often forces her to hide her personal troubles, even from her friends. Ukitake says that Rukia rarely opens up, and has difficulty making friends”.

She is not just “cold” she doesn’t want to get hurt again and that touches my heart woooow

- Strong in a physical way. She protected Ichigo as many times as he protected her. I love how equal they are (even despite their big difference of level). I mean she defeated a fucking espada when she only had her Shikai + being in the deepest emotional and mental pain possible, stood against Yammy, is really talented at Kidou, beat strong hollows when she was powerless and IN A GIGAI, reaches bankai and became a captain when she started off as... nothing. She was a nobody from the Rukongai. She was very mediocre and her Kidou skills were average. And nobody really believed in her at first but she did it.

- also how she is attached to the human world is so touching to me. There are many other small things like how despite being a noble she remains so modest and chooses to talk to ordinary people. Etc etc.

- Caring and understanding. Always here to help the others. She is the only one should could lift ichigo’s spirit in one go when he was down. She did several times. She helped him through the trauma he went through due to his mother’s death, offering him a shoulder to lean on AND DIDNT ASK HIM to talk to her yet because she know it wasn’t what he needed and knew it would hurt him. But told him that when he would want to talk about it to someone, she would be there for him. I MEAN GIRL YOU ARE AWESOME IF HE DOESN’T ASK YOU TO MARRY HIM, I WILL.

And it made him feel so much better that he quoted the exact same words to his fathers chapteeeeeers after. She also helped Orihime and encouraged her when she thought she was useless and an inconvenience. She said together they would find a place for her to fight alongside everybody. WHEN all the other characters didn’t allow orihime to fight with them bc she was too weak, Rukia offered her support and to find solution together instead. (( Q U E E N)).

Encourages Ichigo’s sisters to eat next to him when he is severely injured etc, etc

- And how eager she was to save orihime!!She was litterally dying and yet crawled on the floor because she empathized with her and wanted to save her so much

- Annnnnd to finish I love how her relationship with Ichigo is written like, how deep they trust each other and don’t need words to communicate (like how she respects his personal space [“it’s enough just to know he is safe / memories in the rain/ their fight vs Grimmjow etc etc]).

I also find it AMAZING that she cares for him so much when his hollow is coming out, I mean she is not even slightly frightened and worries about him instead, she could-she should be traumatized after what happens with Kaien being possessed by a hollow but no she isn’t. + How they protect each other, helped each other through trauma, how they offered each other everything that the other ever wanted (Power to protect / normal and comfortable relationship).

Imma stop here because I could write 45 more pages explaining why their relationship is like the Golden Book of Healthy and Mutually Beneficial and Equal Relationships but that’s not the point here lol. But I like pretty much every relationship Rukia has with any character (Renji, Byakuya, Orihime, Ukitake etc..) I think she really brings out the best from each one of them.

I’m stopping here but there are so many more reasons to why she is my favorite character ever, just Knox this is rushed and non-exhaustive, I just felt like screaming how much I love Rukia Kuchiki to the world . But yeah non-cliché strong girl. Who will fight you. Who can stand on her own. But still shows us many emotions and is so caring and selfless.