#i turned off reblogs on the post bc i dont want it ever getting out of this blog lol...

[fractalkiss]

I cannot reblog my last socionics post for 1418 but if i may be vain... i went off in it.

[technicalknockout]

I wanted to reply to some of the stuff from my ask, but didn't know whether to reblog it or send it as an ask, I thought it might be easier this way?

silly straws page - i read in 'dipper and mabel's guide to mystery and nonstop fun' that bill likes silly straws and thought it was a silly random tidbit, imagine how surprised i was when i realized there was LORE behind it.. im still figuring out some codes bc i dont wanna look them up and im having so much fun !!

YEAH the silly staws page! I'm so mad that Bill said "I cut the page where I was gonna talk about Shermie Pines" stop teasing mee

I know there are some really cool codes on that page, I haven't decoded most of the book for myself yet but I intend to. There's another code on that page which is a super cool and fun one to decipher (though i've already seen what it says online but I want to replicate it myself). The one that starts with "215 858 117 450 110 628.." etc.

stanford trying to keep me from reading the book page - "you cant hear the disappointed sigh im making rn, but i assure you it's devastating" i mean he failed to stop me from reading the entire thing in one sitting but i was just very happy to see ford's cursive again. It was really funny seeing him trying to guess what the reader would be convinced by (i saw the moth picture and thought 'whats that called, a goth moth?' I laughed out loud when it turned out that was actually its name)

Sameee I got to that page and i was thinking "hiiii!". I loved his attempt to stop us from reading by showing his cool moth, and it was even better when Bill says something later on along the lines of "if he tries to show you his moth collection, throw yourself off a cliff"

Also the photo of him looks cool, but the context of it is so funny. I've seen some posts on tumblr about Ford dragging Stan into the woods and getting him to take a picture of him looking angry and mysterious. Why else does he have a photo like that. It's so silly.

urban legends page - as a long time fan of creepypasta the references in this page absolutely delighted me. Also the art is so realistically horrifying, whoever drew these i love you

YEAH that page and the Mirror Realm one and others look so cool. The new artists brought on to work on this book did a wonderful job. It fits in perfectly with Bill's weirdness.

the one true intelligence test - idk this page just made me laugh a lot

So freaking stupid i loved it so much. I think my favourite was the "divide this number in half" bit.

Entire anti-cipher society part - i love how instead of telling the story in just plain text, they made us follow the story with newspapers and journal pages. What was that called. I swear there was a name for that kind of storytelling if anyone knows pls pls tell me

That whole bit was so interesting. It was a really fun way of telling the story!

every page with ford and fiddleford - BEAUTIFUL. SUBLIME. BEST THING TO EVER EXIST IN THE WORLD. I HECKING LOVE FRIENDS BEING WHOLESOME TOGETHER AND I LOVE IT MORE WHEN THEYRE MY FAVORITE CHARACTERS FROM MY FAVORITE SHOW. THEY MAD SNOWMEN OF EACH OTHER THATS SO CUTE

Imma be honest i never really... cared for Fiddleford before. Like, I think the show is better with him in it, and I like that Ford had someone good in his life aside from Stan back in the past, but I didn't know enough about Fiddleford to care. Granted, I haven't reread Journal 3 in a while so I likely would have liked him more if I could remember what was said there, but the stuff presented in the lost Journal 3 pages here were such a treat and I understand now. I really really like him now.

Fiddleford and Ford were so wonderful together! Fiddleford was so, so nice to Ford. I'm never going to get over how Fidds made Ford TWO christmas presents, one which had multiple prototypes to get right, then forgot to get a present for his own wife. Stanford means so much to him it's crazy.

Then Ford decorating the portal room with pretty lights and played Fidds' favourite song and they made snowmen???? That's adorable omg.

And ik this is about the book, not the website, but the stuff on there as well, like the college photo and it describing how they met. AND THE AXOLOTL. Fidds getting one for Ford because it reminded him of him. And i don't think it was even a holiday of any kind. BILL WHEN I GET YOU-

"but my aim is getting better" - do i need to explain this one

I CHEERED at that bit. I showed it to my friend and they didn't get it. I forgot that they're a casual fan who's watched the show like, once, and not like me where Gravity Falls has just permanently taken up some space in my brain.

whatever this page is called;

I hated reading this (i loved reading this). i kinda got spoiled before i bought the book with an analysis post, had to literally put my phone down and think about what id just read. i think this page really puts bill and ford's relationship into perspective. ford's a person and bill's a multidimensional semi-god creature, bill will do and say anything in his power to get ford to do what he wants. this relationship cannot even begin to resemble normal. and also the forgetting your own name part horrified me, thats some good horror right there.. love it when books make me have a visceral reaction to tiny words on paper

I don't think I have anything extra to add I agree completely. I just love how much of a threat it shows Bill as. I think it works especially well because most of the book has been Silly Bill Shenanigans, you kinda forget what he's capable of. Brilliant stuff. i hated it.

call transcript from the police - OH the LORE and CHARACTER ANALYSIS FOOD RIGHT HERE. i could talk for hours about how bill straight up sucks at relationships and he's SO unwilling to admit he was upset about falling out with ford that he's lying to himself MULTIPLE TIMES OVER AND OVER and how a lack of genuine connection with people is eating him up - but if i talked about all that this post would spiral into insanity real quick. Also drunk bill talking into the phone was very very sad and very very on character and i could hear hirsch's bill voice inside my head it was really good aghjgnkhhh

LITERALLY YEA. And that kinda links up with the end of the book, where Bill is convinced someone will free him at some point. But he has no positive connections. He has no one that cares about him. And he did that all himself. Please, anytime, i will listen to your rambles. (just might not respond to it straight away but I WILL)

stan's page - I ALMOST CRIED AND I KNOW THATS KIND OF A WEIRD REACTION BUT I SAW THE STAN PAGE IN THISISNOTAWEBSITEDOTCOM OKAY AND IT WAS MAKING ME VERY UNWELL I WAS EXTREMELY RELIEVED TO JUST HEAR THIS MAN SO HAPPY AGAIN STANLEY PINES I LOVE YOU YOU DESERVE EVERYTHING

The messages from Dipper, Mabel and Stan were so lovely to see at the end. Stan is so happy now, and I'm happy for him. And it's just all really funny. "I only met him once and he cried like a baby then I punched him to death." Yeah that is basically what happened.

AH GOD YOU REPLIED TO EVERYTHING ????? THAMK YOU

YEAH the silly staws page! I'm so mad that Bill said "I cut the page where I was gonna talk about Shermie Pines" stop teasing mee

>:( he knows us too well he knows we'd give anything for more info about shermie...

I know there are some really cool codes on that page, I haven't decoded most of the book for myself yet but I intend to. There's another code on that page which is a super cool and fun one to decipher (though i've already seen what it says online but I want to replicate it myself). The one that starts with "215 858 117 450 110 628.." etc.

Ive been stuck on the numbers one, im gonna give it one more try today but i think it's gonna take a brain bigger than mine jfbsjdkskfs im STEAMING aleeeeex why are you making this so hard for me/silly

Sameee I got to that page and i was thinking "hiiii!". I loved his attempt to stop us from reading by showing his cool moth, and it was even better when Bill says something later on along the lines of "if he tries to show you his moth collection, throw yourself off a cliff"

does that imply ford tried to show bill his moth collection at some point ????? imagine jdbshfjsnf

Also the photo of him looks cool, but the context of it is so funny. I've seen some posts on tumblr about Ford dragging Stan into the woods and getting him to take a picture of him looking angry and mysterious. Why else does he have a photo like that. It's so silly.

I WHEEZED WHILE READING THIS ID NEVER THOUGHT ABOUT THAT??? but like. it's definitely on character i fully believe it happened. i mean this man backflips out of windows why not hnskdkdshd thanks for putting that image in my head

YEAH that page and the Mirror Realm one and others look so cool. The new artists brought on to work on this book did a wonderful job. It fits in perfectly with Bill's weirdness.

YEE!!!!! I think they were allowed to take more creative liberty than in the actual show, being a book and all, and i think thats really cool.

Imma be honest i never really... cared for Fiddleford before. Like, I think the show is better with him in it, and I like that Ford had someone good in his life aside from Stan back in the past, but I didn't know enough about Fiddleford to care. Granted, I haven't reread Journal 3 in a while so I likely would have liked him more if I could remember what was said there, but the stuff presented in the lost Journal 3 pages here were such a treat and I understand now. I really really like him now.

WELCOME TO THE FIDDLEFORD FANCLUB MY FRIEND. ive been a fan of him since the legend of the gobblewonker tbh.. i tend to latch onto very random silly side characters that fill the specifically shaped holes in my brain. Loved him more when i found out he had lore, love him even more after reading the book. Yay fiddleford 🎊

Fiddleford and Ford were so wonderful together! Fiddleford was so, so nice to Ford. I'm never going to get over how Fidds made Ford TWO christmas presents, one which had multiple prototypes to get right, then forgot to get a present for his own wife. Stanford means so much to him it's crazy. / Then Ford decorating the portal room with pretty lights and played Fidds' favourite song and they made snowmen???? That's adorable omg. / And ik this is about the book, not the website, but the stuff on there as well, like the college photo and it describing how they met. AND THE AXOLOTL. Fidds getting one for Ford because it reminded him of him. And i don't think it was even a holiday of any kind. BILL WHEN I GET YOU-

i swear these two are absolutely adorable and that is an objective fact i will not take criticism. the page where ford was rummaging thru fiddleford's desk and found the glove prototypes broke me.

and also yeah the college photo ! i mean like. augh. how do i put this. theyre so friends. ford believed fiddleford was right even tho they barely knew each other and worked together and came up with an entire theory. idk it's so wholesome. AND FRILLIAM !!!!! FIDDLEFORD GOT FORD A LITTLE GUY AND FORD NAMED HIM FRILLIAM AND I AM GOING TO PERSONALLY SPRAY HAND SANITIZER IN BILL'S EYE FOR RUINING THIS. these two are dear to my heart im so so frickin glad they made up and are somewhat keeping in touch now..

I CHEERED at that bit. I showed it to my friend and they didn't get it. I forgot that they're a casual fan who's watched the show like, once, and not like me where Gravity Falls has just permanently taken up some space in my brain.

I KNOW THE PAIN SO SO WELL NO ONE AROUND ME EVEN KNOWS THIS BOOK EXISTS. ILL CHEER WITH YOU WHO CARES IF WE'RE NOT ON THE SAME CONTINENT. FORD MY GUY SLAYYYYYY🎊🎉🎊🎉🎊👏👏🎊🎉🎉👏👏👏

I don't think I have anything extra to add I agree completely. I just love how much of a threat it shows Bill as. I think it works especially well because most of the book has been Silly Bill Shenanigans, you kinda forget what he's capable of. Brilliant stuff. i hated it.

exactly.. bill is a Scary Silly Guy™️ thank you tbob for reminding us. it was very on character and we appreciate it a lot. but like did you HAVE to make ford suffer for it :'(

LITERALLY YEA. And that kinda links up with the end of the book, where Bill is convinced someone will free him at some point. But he has no positive connections. He has no one that cares about him. And he did that all himself. Please, anytime, i will listen to your rambles. (just might not respond to it straight away but I WILL)

Guy had it comin for him tbh. rest in therapieces bill ciphor reincarnate as a vole (also YOU WANT TO HEAR MY RAMBLES🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺???? dont mind me if i raid your asks sometime. or discord dms. whichever you prefer !)

The messages from Dipper, Mabel and Stan were so lovely to see at the end. Stan is so happy now, and I'm happy for him. And it's just all really funny. "I only met him once and he cried like a baby then I punched him to death." Yeah that is basically what happened.

JASIDNFJSNFKSS PRETTY ACCURATE ID SAY. Stanford pines you are absolutely awesome take my money

[majimemegoro]

i listened to too much synthwave while doing my horrible tasks today so it got me thinking about my yakuza cyberpunk au concept which i dont think ive ever posted about

(yes the jacket is full-length/down to the ankles, i just had to cut off the picture bc this drawing is from 2019 and the proportions are WACK)

so basically majima has cybernetic implants shimano wanted him to get for both his eye and also all the areas where his tattoo covers. i havent fully fleshed out the ideas but obviously the eye thing can enable him to zoom in and see infrared or whatever. also I think that the back piece maybe has like 2 “snakes”/metal tentacle things that can come OUT of it as though the snakes from his tattoo were coming alive. (but theyre robot parts. idk if im im explaining any sense im so tired)

so the implants are really heavy duty impressive ones, maybe even experimental, so his body is always rejecting them which is why the places where its attached to his human flesh look hideously irritated and infected. maybe you can see that better in this pic a little idk.

also he has a cybernetic Bat which is just a regular Bat but it has some blinking lights on it for the AestheticTM. (just kidding it probably doubles as a tazer or something idk)

goda ryuji is obviously just how he is in dead souls haha.

and the new ideas i had today were that kadokura is a cybernetics developed/manufacturer (Rachi Future Solutions or something lollll), and when he recruits sato into becoming a Cyber Hitman (what is a hitman called in a cyberpunk world.. idk) sato doesnt get a gun arm or anything but he does get some modifications done to improve his already-supernatural bodily steadiness, probably at least one cybernetic eye etc., and he DOES get a chip put in his brain that can relay him information and stuff but also (unbenoknwst to sato) allows kadokura to monitor him at all times, see through his eyes etc., and even to manipulate and shut down certain emotions ! *FROZEN ROAR SPOILERS* so in this au sato is more of a victim, he ilterally couldnt feel remorse for his crimes, remorse was turned off !!!!!

but then when he goes to abashiri the chip is Out Of Range or Not Getting Reception or something! so when sato  meets ok*dera (who is Of Course does a bit of a mechanic on the side and can do really rough and ready cybernetics stuff—nothing like the sleek Rachi Future Solutions tech, its clunky and made up of old parts and so on but it gets the job done) suddenly satos brain starts to heal a little and oh no why doesnt he want to complete his mission ????

and probably at the end of the story okduera like gives sato a chip he had in HIS brain so even the Japan Central Computer or whatever the inevitably fascist surveillance state government has would read sato as ok*dera. (though how this helps given that ok*dera is wanted dead by the mob is an open question, as it is in canon..)

also i think that instead of having the mountain village vs city be like “this village people DONT have cybernetics, theyre ACTUALLY human” its more about tech sovereignty! like the mountain village is better because the cybernetics they use are homegrown and repairable and powered by their own code, not run by giant evil corporations who control them from afar and block out every good memory youve ever had or whatever

also yama-oroshi is obviously a giant mecha bear

anyway if you read this reblog and add ideas for other characters that people actually care about like kiryu and nishiki

[berryunho]

HI BESTIE it's san anon and IT'S BEEN A WHILE

i hope you're still enjoying your time in sk hehehe i see your posts sometimes and am like *nods* having a good time, nice

it's been a busy couple of weeks sjdghsfj HONESTLY i don't think that ppt will ever like. get there. IM SORRY DSJHGFJ i loved the idea of it but i don't think i can find the time to make you the amazing ppt you deserve SIGH i do however have reasons written down for why you SHOULDN'T k word san so bet you'll be hearing from me shortly

ANYWAY that was all i just wanted to pop by and ask how you're doing <3 i hope life is going well for you !!!!!!! love u mwah

(also this is me trying to fix my english bc you > u istg i've evolved)

WAUT SAN ANON AGAIN I JUST SAW THAT ASK ABT NOT TRUSTING SAN'S MANIPULATIVE ASS i love him i'm so sorry it's so bad but i LOVE cult freak san the same way i love hongjoongism (yes i'll keep using this name) and hongjoong's wicked little brain i love it all idk i'm just. waiting for the day you don't k word san off but instead turn him into this crazy wicked insane evil cult freak instead of the cute cult freak we've seen up until now KJHDSGFKJHSD kq please give us a dark concept. i need an actual culteez concept. don't just break that wall murder it san anon again because what the FUCK i missed so many san reblogs HELP???? it makes sense now bc apparently i had the for you page open instead of the following page wtf tumblr

HSKDJFASDLFJS HIIIIII

dont worry about being busy and PLSDJFASLKDF THE PPT LOL ITS OKY I DIDNT REALLY EXPECT YOU TO MAKE ONE E VERJKLJASFLKD PSKLJFSKLDF .... i also love cult freak san and evil hongjoong LKSJDFLASKDJF last night i was writing .... a scene that will happen in ... the next few chapters probably and i was (s)creamin-- I MEAN i was having a very good time writing it even though its like the most diabolical angst to ever come from my hands i was giggling biting my lip SO ANYWAYS thats gonna be so fun to release into the world but it has to simmer for a bit still ... not to confirm nor deny any san allegations of course mwuahaha AND ANYWAYS YES I AGREE bring back mvs where kpop boys would kill people ... or like graphic vampire concepts ... PLEASE I NEED IT SO BAD FJASLDJFSJ AND ???? NOT THE FOR YOU PAGE omg i do the same thing though like it switches and i dont realize and im like "where tf is sanchelinz rn" SKJFKALSDFJ

but anyways to answer your question ... im very good still ehehe my classes are all going well i even went up korean levels LAKJDFLASD and changing topics im not really a makeup person but i walked into olive young 2 days ago and blacked out and now i own a bunch of makeup and im trying to learn how to use it and i actually ... feel so cute KASDJLFSADJ like i have some on rn and its all pink and glittery and i did my eyelashes the wonyoung way and I FEEL SO CONFIDENT ACTUALLY its crazy like i think im pretty wo makeup lol and idk i normally feel so goofy when i try to do makeup but im actually proud of what ive been able to learn in ... 3 days lol

AND ??? you probably saw lol BUT I WENT TO IDOL RADIOAFLSJDFK;ASJ that was ... so anxiety inducing LKJKLAJSDFKJS there were SO many people and our foreign asses didnt reserve seats and didnt think to bring. idk. LADDERS BC PEOPLE BRING FUCKING LADDERS (*%)($*@)#()@ and anyways idk WHAT i was doing so wrong just by standing in one spot and not moving but i was being CURRRSSEDDDD out by ktinys like i accidentally looked at one of them for too long apparently and she turned to her friend and was like "this fucking foreigner is staring crazy bitch" I WAS LIKE (*$)(*$_)(#)(@_(#_????@$?$?@?4 and another girl saw me and was like "i fucking hate when foreigners come they never know whats happening" (*409*@)@(-#(0 I HAVE NEVER IN MY LIFE BEEN SPOKEN TO LIKE THAT I WAS LITERALLY LIKE ............................ simply pretended i didnt know what they were saying bc i wouldve started swinging and gotten deported if i engaged like ... HOOOOO DEEP BREATHS IM NOT MAD anyways yunho and hongjoong waved to me and i got so many good pictures and i was just happy to get to see them ehehehe all that matters is that THIS is hongjoong waving at me and my friend

and anyways i stay winning <3 life is amazing im so happy everyday <3 I HOPE YOURE GOOD AS WELL BESTIE !!! PLS LMK HOW YOU ARE AND DW ABOUT BEING BUSY AND HAVE A NICE REST OF YOUR WEEK AND ILY <3333 MWAHHH :]]] <33 <33 <33

[inknopewetrust]

i read ur post. im so sorry that life hasn’t been treating u as well as u deserve and im sorry that tumblr isnt as kind of a place as one would imagine. as a reader myself, i think i found it very hard to understand why a lot of writers were complaining about not getting enough reblogs? and hear me out, i really dont want to offend anyone. but i didnt get it. ive had a tumblr for +10 years now, and ive only just now found myself on the “fan fic side” of it. and idk, i think i was very naïve to think that “oh well but getting 5 reblogs must be as good as anything?? like 5 people liking it enough to reblog it is insane??” but then i put up my own fic about a week ago i think?? and i got like 60 notes?? which i still think is a good amount, but it also very much put be in a place of “oh well maybe im just not a good writer or creative enough” so much so that im not sure ill ever release something again??

i didnt mean for this to get this long, but yeah idk what im trying to say with this?? im sorry for being naïve and not getting others feelings and idk i kind of hope that it will give u the tiniest bit of consolence as to why people seem a bit lazy sometimes?? that it is more out of not understanding rather than that they do not appreciate ur work?? and also this was not to say that i didnt understand why u have to reblog to support, but more of a “readers may not always understand that 5 reblogs for something u used 1 month on writing isnt always enough”

im not sure if my message is clear?? nonetheless i just wanted to say that im very much in love with everything u write and still reread all ur work from time to time. im so happy i stumbled upon ur tumblr bc its helped me greatly on days where i needed it. take a break as long as u want, and even if u dont want to come back - just know that u have blessed us with so amazing stories that will be my faves till the end of time. i can very much see ur dreams of screenwriting coming true!! take care of urself and im so sorry that this turned so long??

- e 💖

Don’t apologize! I’ve been on here for about 8 years and didn’t get it at first either. It’s a learning experience for sure. I think a lot about the notes on fics also depend on the fandom.

Im very lucky and grateful for all the love and I don’t mean that to come off snotty or bitchy in anyway—it’s just very easy to compare yourself to other writers and see their success as perfect and yours as less than.

And I don’t think it’s necessarily a reader problem, but a content problem. We consume so much and don’t realize there are people on the other side. People looking for support and validation that isn’t always given. And I’ve been a silent reader before and regret it so much. But I’ve been trying to remedy that with fic recs and my own reblogs.

Thank you so much. I am certain something will spark interest in the future—heck, maybe it will be a show coming out soon or a movie in the next month. You never know, right?

[lovphobic]

instead ill vent in the tags of my own post. read if u want idc

[lythpomme]

it’s summer ✿ steve harrington

❀  [1.8k] best friend!steve harrington x fem!reader ✎.ೃ࿐ ˖♡ Every summer is hell. Both physically, and mentally. It's hot, and you still can't help but stay in your room all day. Right now, it's late, really late, and you're having another night-time descent to depression. You need someone with you, so who's best to call but your best friend? Wait- no- sorry! Nevermind... ╰┈➤ angst (also hurt/comfort?), fluff, implied suicidal ideation (if you've been thru it, you'll see it), descriptions of an anxiety attack, symptoms of depression, best friends to lovers !! , reader is implied to be shorter than steve and can wear his sweaters (doesnt say how it fits them tho!)

a/n: HI so this is actually my first fic uhmmmm!! i've based this fic a little on my own experiences with staying up late bc of anxiety, depression, all that jazz—and if at any point you feel triggered, its completely okay to click off! if i've missed any warnings pls dont hesitate to comment! same goes for things i could improve on! ALSO!! GUYS REBLOGGING HELPS A TON!! IT GETS WRITERS MORE REACH N STUFF!!! 

a/n 2: i edited a bit lol

also! you do not have permission to translate/post this onto other websites, tumblr is my only posting site as of now, and i will inform yall if i ever decide to add another. 

It should be playful splashes of water, and half-melted popsicles to beat the heat. Water balloon fight filled days, and picnics in the park. Stargazing in the cool of the night, and tired heads resting on shoulders. Where sweets and junk food replace heavy textbooks and tossed aside essays. 

Yet, it’s 4 seconds in, and 4 seconds out. It’s, “5 things you can see, 4 you can touch…” It’s sleepless nights filled with loneliness and anxiety. It’s dried-out tears on your cheeks as you stare at the dark of your wall. You can’t close your eyes without the intrusion of no-good-thoughts. You can’t keep them open without feeling like your lungs are closing in on themselves. You’re too scared to sleep, dreading having to battle through another, repetitive and emotionally-exhausting day. You just want it to stop.

‘Splash some water on your face to ground yourself’ your mom had told you. But as soon as you open your eyes, patting away leftover droplets, your gaze drifts over to the bathtub. A bucket of water, filled to the brim. You’re tired, everything is too much and you just need a break. The cold prickles against your fingertips, gliding smoothly as you draw patterns. Plugging your nose, you dip your head in; coming back up with a sense of refreshed-ness. Albeit, short-lived, but refreshing none-the-less. You find yourself chasing that feeling.

A soft stream of water…

Plop

Plip

Plop

Plip

You gasp, running to turn off the sink faucet. The stopper had somehow broken, and plugged up the sink. Fortunately, only a small puddle had formed during your reverie. God, you’d be dead meat if your mom found out you’d accidentally flooded the bathroom at 2am. After getting a rug to clean up your mess, you take a look at the mirror. Your swollen eyes had calmed down after being soaked with ice-cold water. You had as well.

Not ready to go back to the dark confines of your bedroom, you sat down on the closed toilet seat. Only now, do you realize what you were thinking about whilst zoned out. And, god, did it scare you. Your breathing got more ragged, shallow, and all your senses were heightened. You were home alone. 

Alone.

Again.

The vent was getting too loud, and the lights too bright. The bathroom mat beneath you more spiky than soft. Knives were running through your heart. Tears were threatening to fall, and you wanted to crawl out of your skin. Everything was getting so uncomfortable. You just wanted to shed like a snake and float away into the night; carried by the wind to faraway places. You needed something to ground you. Tell you that you’re okay. And by instinct, your feet led you to the kitchen phone. Dialing the oh-so-familiar digits that you knew by heart. You fidgeted with the phone cord, focusing on the swirly loops going through your fingers.

Doooot, doooot.

Doooot, doooot.

Click

A faint ruffle, then a sleep-dowsed voice spoke, “Hello…?”

You waited a few seconds to respond, processing the fact that Steve actually answered. You didn’t expect anyone to pick up at this time. Especially not him. A small whisper followed, meek and lined with unspoken apologies, “Hi.” “Y/n? Shit- Are… are you okay?” Steve could hear the sadness in your voice, the emptiness and longing for comfort. His heart broke a little at the thought of you going through this again. He knows about the many sleepless nights you go through, mind racing with terrible thoughts, “Wait, I- no- That was a stupid question, do you-” You panicked. Feeling bothersome because you had awoken Steve from his slumber; guilty knowing how much he needs it. “Uhm- I… Can you…” A deep breath in, “nevermind, I’m-sorry-I-woke-you-up-bye.” You spurt out quickly, putting the phone back without waiting for an answer and running back up the stairs. 

Back to your blanket pile of pathetic-ness. Because that’s what you are, right? Just a pile of pathetic-ness who always bothers those around them with their problems.

He probably hates you now. Called him up at 3am for nothing? You’re so needy. He can probably tell that you’re fucking obsessed with him. Your friendship will probably go downhill from here. And that's all your fault.             You stuffed your face into your pillow. Just wanting the night to end. The ticking from your clock is the only thing that can be heard, besides your breathing and the occasional night breeze. You sigh, and focus on the ticking sound to push any negative thoughts away. Tick.

Tock.

Tick.

Tock.

Tick.

Tock.

Tick.

Tock.

Ti– Plink!

… Plink!

Plink! You sprang up from your bed. That isn’t your clock ticking anymore. And it’s coming from the window. Cautiously, you grab the closest solid object near you, ready to chuck at whatever’s outside the glass. You swish your curtains aside and… Steve? Your brows furrow as you take him in; clad in plaid pajama pants and a gray pullover, backpack in his hand, pebbles in the other. He sighs in relief when your figure appears in the window. As soon as you hung up on him, he sprinted to his car, grabbing a few things along the way. He knew you were having another bad night, and it stung his heart—of which you hold—remembering how quiet and shaky your voice sounded. He yells as loud as he can at 3am, “Y/n! Can I come up?” Shock and confusion makes up your expression, blinking a few times before nodding and opening your window. Steve being Steve, he climbs up with ease, kicking off his shoes before engulfing you in a big, bear hug. Your face trembles, your emotions coming back to you all at once. He pulls back, grabbing his backpack and bringing out his maroon sweater to put on you. Oh, that sweater.

He knows how much you love it, despite actively denying it. Steve pulls you back into him, your head buried in his shoulder and you cry, “Shh, sweetheart. Let it all out, you’re not alone anymore… I’m here,” he mumbles into your hair, stroking your head comfortingly. His overwhelming affection made you cry even more, which made him hug you tighter.

A few minutes pass, and you’ve moved to your bed. Steve tidied your room up, taking dirty dishes downstairs, and swiftly coming back up with a glass of water, “Drink.” 

           When you’re done he places it on your bedside table, and cups your face in his hands, analyzing it, “What’s wrong? Or are you not ready to talk about it? I mean, that’s totally okay, we can just lay in bed or whatever.” You give him an appreciative, tight-lipped smile, and gesture to him to lay beside you. Your voice comes out a bit raspy as you thank him, “Steve… I don’t know how to explain to you how grateful I am for you to be such an amazing…” Sniff, “friend… Uhm– I don’t know what I’d do without you, honest.”

Steve smiles, and pulls you in for another hug; your head on his chest. He hopes you can’t hear how fast his heart is beating, and you hope he can’t feel yours, “‘Course poppet. Anything for you.” Your heart skips a beat at the innocent confession, he meant that in a platonic way—and you’re just emotionally vulnerable, right now… Right…? You push your feelings aside, which are probably deceiving you. You look up at him, but he’s already looking at you. You think you can see blush rise to his cheeks as he looks away embarrassed, you tease, “Like the view, Harrington?” Unconsciously, he squirms under your gaze and rolls his eyes, “Aren’t you supposed to be, like, sad right now?” Playfully, you sit up with a ‘humph’, and turn away. You steal the whole blanket from him, “Okay,” before inhaling and letting out a cry reminiscent of a toddler’s. “Literally shut up.” Steve laughed, grabbing you by your waist and tickling you. You jump from his touch, but he pulls you back just as fast. His fingers press harder, and it makes you laugh even louder. Giggles and snickers turned your once sorrowful room into a place of pure joy. No longer was it filled with a sense of loneliness, but a fuller, happier feeling of love. Silly, teenage love. 

As you both calm down, you feel warmth rise to your cheeks. Steve is redder than a tomato below you, at that you let out a small giggle. “What?” he asks, “Shit– my hair’s messed up isn’t it?” But that makes you laugh even more, which makes him laugh even more. You collapse into his chest, tired from all the emotions you’ve gone through tonight. 

A beat or two passes, the both of you enjoying each other’s presence in silence. It was never awkward when things died down after some banter. Your eyes grow heavy, and you nuzzle closer to Steve’s neck. Leaving soft butterfly kisses that have him growing warmer underneath you, “Thank you Steve. M’grateful to have someone like you…” You brush your lips against his skin; too short to be considered an actual kiss, but lingers long enough to cross the platonic-romantic border. As you fall into your body’s pleas for slumber, a confession of romance tumbles out. Quick, and casual; as if it's said on the regular, which it isn’t. At that, you both freeze. Steve processes your words in his head, “You… what?” You’re quick to put up your defenses, not willing to be hurt again tonight by your own, reckless actions, “Okay, I– Uhm-well-I… I meant that platonically…?” your voice goes up at the end, making you cringe internally at how fake that sounded, “Shit– sorry, it’s just that-”

Quick to interrupt, a confession of his own slips out, “I-love-you-too.” And Steve can see the wave of relief immediately sweeping away your tensed shoulders. You smile up at him, and kiss the corner of his mouth. As much as he tries to fight it, a huge smile appears on his face. Full of genuine elation and adoration. Steve pulls you closer, boops your nose with his, and pecks your lips.

Pulling away, he tsks, “Don’ be a coward, poppet.” Which is immediately met with a punch to his arm, and a peck back.

You throw your arm over his chest, and he pulls the blanket up. Signs of day tickle the sky; indigo, berry blues, a touch of vermillion, finished with a faint sprinkle of stars. Your clock reads 4 AM, but you don’t care. You aren’t going to wake up alone. And you certainly won’t be getting through each day by yourself.

Gone are the constant grounding exercises, and puffy, red eyes; sleepless nights, and negative self-lies. They’re replaced with love-filled hugs, and endless tickles. Feeling loved on bad days, and tissue-caught sniffles. It’s late diner dates, and shared milkshakes. Subtle gazes, and trips to the lake.

It’s finally summer.

❀  

© revised 2023 fikafika

[tobi-momo]

Them Walking In On You/ You Walking In On Them While Changing Pt 1

a/n: @awmahleebkg hey baby <))) i love this req so much omg ofc id love to do it for you bunny <) ALSO I GOT MY NEW BANNERS ON HERE YAYY

Type: Headcanons

Genre: Fluff/Crack

Warnings: cursing? not proofread

Includes: Todoroki, Midoriya

yall were going on a double date with another couple in class

you were excited asf bc you were going to your fav cafe

i hc that shouto is either incredibly fast at getting changed or he takes his weet mf time with NO in between. and today was the day he decided to take his time

you waited like 20 min for him to GET DRESSED and he still wasnt done

so walking upstairs to his dorm, you slowly open the door to see a shirtless shouto with his back facing you and a shirt wrapping around his arms like he was ab to pull it over his head

you freeze- bc holy DAMN is he fine-looking at his back muscles like KASKJDHSAKJDAS (ABSOLUTELY BARKING RIGHT NOW)

he just nonchalantly turns around like "Oh, hey, y/n"

and you've completly malfunctioned bc his back is still facing you and and and

momo.exe has stopped working

"um- uh- hi" you smile as you stare at his muscles😩😩

"was i being too slow, sorry i-"

"oh, no, its okay, i guess i just wanted to see you," you trail off

"well, we are leaving in a few minutes. together." he says it like it isnt obvious🙄✋

KIDDING we love him

"Uh, yeah, I know, just uh," STOP LOOKING AT HIS BODY STOP LOOKING AT HIS BODY STOP LOOKING AT HIS BODY

"y/n?"

now your baby is just confused- youre staring at him like youve never seen him before- he thinks something is wrong w him by the way youre looking at him

"is there something on me? what is it?"

he turns around to you, walking towards your frozen figure, breaaking your trance

you stumble a little while taking a step back

"i'm fine! you're good! you look great, hot- GREAT! you look great."

his head tilts in confusion

"ill just wait...outside...for you"

you SPRINT out that mf door so fast

you spent the rest of that time trying to calm your thoughts and heartbeat oml i dont blame you that man is-

the most awkward experience you ever had tbfh

yall just got done studying

and while you were picking everything up you find his phone just laying on the floor

obviously you had to return ittt

you expected him to be just chillin on his bed or finally realizing his phone was gone

but when you open his door and hand his phone out, you dont see that

izuku is not wearing a shirt

or pants

the only thing you look at are his boxers

...his allmight boxers-

you chuckled subconsciously, seeing the blue and yellow underwear and his red face freezing and his hands trembling in embarrassment

"uh, you, uh, you left your phone," you stutter, not knowing if you should take a step forward or back

"oh, uh, t-thanks" he stutters, reaching out to take the phone with his shaky arms

this man is so embarrassed omg 😭

you dont say anything as you awkwardly hand him the phone, stepping back into the doorway

"uh, im really sorry, by the way," is all you mutter out before slipping out of his room and sprinting back to yours

'HOLY SHIT'

you just saw midoriya half naked- wearing nothing but allmight boxers-

you didnt know if you loved it or hated it

the next day he avoids the shit out of you, but you trail after him like a dog trying to apologize

once you get him cornered, you reassure him that you didnt think anything of it, and you wont tell anyone

pls do that this man is scarred🙏

~.~.~.~.~

make sure to read part 2! ill post the link in a reblog!

taglist: @combat-wombatus @hitosushi @flattykawadoorusmilkbread @toosharkinternet @iicekking @alpha3113

REQUESTS: OPEN

[spade-riddles]

"Adjusting Expectations" Post

This submission received a lot of responses and 120 notes, so I thought I would compile the comments here.

Anonymous said:

Adjusting expectations anon was so good. If their timetables are right and we do just need to be patient a little longer, can Kaylor please send us a sign? I guess it would be too loud to slip "adjusting expectations" into social media posts, but maybe they could both do something with playing cards? To show they are card sharks right now but they'll find their way home eventually? That would reassure people. And it would fly under the radar.

casuallycruel131313 said:

I agree with a lot of this but I think the main issue right now is that moral and ethical lines have been crossed and there's no coming back from that. In these post-Trumpian insurrectionist times it's unfathomable that they could continue the Kushner narrative I no longer care if or when they come out, I enjoy the music and I'm happy to observe from a distance because I'm interested from a PR/marketing point of view but my opinion of T &K as people has changed irrevocably and I don't see how they can clean the tarnish off.

@theprologues said:

Agree with most of not all if this but I would like to say as a Kaylor the toe Grammy stunt didn’t phase me. I was not crushed by that by any means. I just shrugged and honestly expected it. It was the attributing Betty and exile to him during the LPSS in November that bummed me out and really made me go...really?

rockcrow20 said:

Have to say I also agree with most of this.

I no longer have any expectations on anything changing any time soon and have not been surprised by the recent events its to be expected after everything over the years really

Nothing has really changed (bearding narrative wise) since I fell down the rabbit hole in 2017 (except that great night in nashville 2018 rep)

Honestly I can't say I am as invested anymore about them ever coming out as I was.

I think the wb/Joe thing was the last moment for me and the continual kushner connection just troubles me like many others.

I mean my kaylor motto for awhile now has been hope for the best but expect disappointment.

Low expectations = limited feelings of disappointment.

original-cypher said:

@rockcrow20 the WB was a breaking point for so many. You are absolutely right. There are just so ma'y contradictions that feel like absolute whiplash. (I know I seem to have been the only one experiencing that with Gorgeous but... that was a big one for me, too) But like. You go on a whole PR campaign about speaking up and standing up for yourself. You say you're capable and tired of men trying to take ownership of your success and profit off of your name. And you credit you literal damn work to a bloke? Bitch, 'consistency'? Look it up. It grossed me out. It would have felt iffy if I believed they were real. But since I wasn't born yesterday it just sent me the message "this is how far I'm willing to sacrifice my principles to not be queer".

rockcrow20 said:

@original-cypher exactly why it bothered me and I know alot us so much. Such mixed messaging of being a strong fighting for your rights female and then oh hey let me attribute some of my best work to my pr boyfriend and the pr pics where she is walking behind all the time like 🙄 The Betty thing that was big one for me too!

rainbowdaisy13 said:

This write up and the comments are spot on. I don’t have much to add other than like @original-cypher said, Miss Americana is tainted for me now and seems like at the very least, it was released too soon in the plan. I get we think they have had to pivot but man, that doc, and including her literally saying “gay rights make me me” at the end was such a false flag. To see her wax poetic about not taking shit from men anymore and then see her do the same old hetero weak woman song and dance routine with the WB shit for albums that are of her genius mind has been so disappointing. I still believe Kaylor is real and I hope they get a chance to show the world that. Karlie posting that cardigan pic in the woods before the folklore release cemented for me they are still together. Adding a baby makes me feel all kind of weird ethical things but I hope I live long enough to see it play out and wear my I Told You So shirt 😁

@kellykaylor said:

agree with your post... I dont care about toe stunts but what really pissed me of was hetwashing betty 🤮! beautiful post tho anon!!

roameroo said:

Totally agree with these all comments especially the strong messaging of MA only to turn around & pull that WB = my "bf" crap. I was disheartened by her mentioning him at the Grammy's only bc he's getting credit for sh*t he doesn't/didn't do. That is what irks me the most about this, giving him credit for her life's work.

always-the-last-word said:

Can I throw my pennies in the pool ?? Taylor will put out the big three first Fearless, RED then 1989 that should bring us to about August. This is where the excitement should begin. If Taylor preps and waits for National Coming Out day it's a no lose for her. Lover her money making machine will go through the roof !! If things go bad or good in the public eye she'll have REPUTATION Taylor's Version ready to release. It will be epic and she'll own it and be FREE.

@karlie-what-you-want said:

always-the-last-word I like this take a lot! I try not to be too optimistic but if she wanted to come out sooner rather than later, I think this plan would satisfy both business and PR needs (at least on Taylor’s end). Remains to be seen how Tay will help Karlie dig her way out of the mess they made together regarding the K*shners.

always-the-last-word said:

Always remember that Taylor has a PLAN. Some of her plans are year's old (easter eggs). Taylor's one and only LOVE is her music, everything else comes second. If KK wants to change and be with her full time she'll make moves around the same time frame. That's if she chooses to. In any event Tay will be open and own all her music. I've seen this film before and WE might not like the ending.

chosetherose said:

I’ve been going back and forth for a day trying to figure out what I wanted to say when I reblogged this post. I’m tired. I’m frustrated. I understand I’m owed nothing by Taylor or Karlie. I understand that circumstances out of their control have caused the girls to pivot over and over again.

But, the root of my frustration in the past months stems not from me battling with the trivial (e.g. pap walks, etc.) but with my personal principles. I fiercely believe credit should be given where it is earned and I uphold this in my career regularly. To see Taylor crediting Toe with her art was deeply disappointing. Watch the 1989 and folklore acceptance speeches back to back and tell me it doesn’t upset you. I believe the K******s have blood on their hands and that their actions during the pandemic have killed people. To see Karlie still associating with one of them disgusts me.

I can’t help but think back in frustration - Would you really fall from grace to touch her face? (And in the brilliant words of @9w1ft) But would you die for her in public? I go back and forth feeling like questions like this aren’t fair at all and thinking they are sort of valid. At this point, it sort of feels like Taylor would only fall from grace for her lover if all the stars and facets of her life aligned perfectly. But perfection like this does not happen. Such is life. So why am I here?

I do question why Spade left certain messages in their final days. I am still holding hope a fervent revolution exonerates everyone. I so desperately want Taylor to regain control of her masters or re-records. Maybe this is the plan they thought was best with multiple goals in mind (re-records, having a family, coming out of the closet one day etc). I’m trying to remain patient because Spade told us to trust her endless yearning. But WOW it is asking a lot of us at this point.

Anonymous said:

Despite being a pragmatist kaylor and oftentimes getting into arguments with fellow optimistic kaylors (owner of this blog included) I think it's quite unfair -at this point- to say to the optimists who have patiently sat through the worst kind of stunts with the most terrible kind of people (yes I'm talking about the Kushner's friend group too) that they should have seen it coming. Besides, if it weren't for the optimists we the cynicals would have burned this fandom down by now.

Anonymous said:

Even if we ignore that an insurrection happened partially because of the family karlie's still working for and getting paid from, she literally said before the pregnancy debacle unfolded that j*sh was her last client while talking about cutting hair and doing a cutting gesture. How should we have interpreted that? 😤That a year later she would be more stuck with the Kushners than ever? We don't wake up on day and decide to have unrealistic expectations. She feeds into them. 😠

Anonymous said:

I have no expectation of Taylor coming out anymore. Zero. None. I have no expectation of her dropping Toe or even of Kaylor publicly reuniting. It doesn't even matter that much anymore. But I - do - expect 1 thing. Karlie to drop and completely dissociate herself from the Kushners and this has nothing to do with kaylor. It was everything to do with me being unable to support a person who willfully assists (now using her baby too) and receives money from a family that has made so many suffer.

Anonymous said:

A quick word from an ex-kaylor (who will never become an anti). A year ago, when the Trumps were still in power and untouchable and there was no baby, I was excusing and turning a blind eye to many things Karlie did for the K*shners. Even that dinner in September. I had also made peace with the truth never being revealed. But a year later the Trumps are gone, Karlie is still on full stunting mode now with a baby in the mix, a baby that is already being used by the Kushners, and I've really run out of excuses. Now the only thing that could possibly keep me on board is if I knew there was a good chance that the full truth would come out, so that Karlie's inexplicable and honestly borderline immoral actions could eventually make sense. But as your sub said, this is an unrealistic expectation, thus I became an ex-kaylor and I'm not planning to come back even when they reunite. 😕

Anonymous said:

What baffles me is that Taylor has explicitly expressed her regret about not giving her lover the credit she deserves and her doubt whether fame is worth hiding her true love: "when I walked up to the podium, I think I forgot to say your name", "what's a lifetime of achievement, if I pushed you to the edge". But yet again she didn't do anything to change this. I didn't expect her to acknowledge Karlie, but a nod or at least not falsely crediting her beard would be a good start.

Anonymous said:

1🙁 Let me chime in re: "expectations". I'm one of the kaylors who ever since the pregnancy reveal was trying to tell everyone there's NO way she was gonna dump him soon after birth let alone before that. It would bring too much unnecessary attention and Jerk would have never agreed to something that would make him look like a bad guy/husband. For the exact same reasons, I was also saying there's no way he wasn't going to post about the baby. All the above against the popular opinion back then.

2🙁 So I agree that the day of the birth post was known to T, not the timing though. Simply bc Kushner-leaning outlets made sure to note that detail. If they wanted it to go unnoticed, why draw attention to it? That being said, kaylors would have been more patient with this mess, if Karlie hadn't gone overboard with her freedom "smoke signals" last summer and Tay's "insiders" hadn't been insinuating that the end is VERY near. Both of them SHOULD have known by then how we would react to these.

3🙁 So it's natural that everyone feels played and has no patience for any more bullshit. Another sore point is how Jerk AND the Kushner-Trump klan monopolize the baby news. This isn't just to make it realistic, it's an abuse of Kaylor's baby's name to garner good pr for the worst family in America, with Karlie's blessing. In order for her marriage and split to appear realistic she's putting a LIFETIME burden on her child's back. Unless you believe she's eventually gonna say Jerk isn't the dad.

4🙁 So "we’re in a position we should realistically have been able to see coming". But we did see it coming, that why some made these extreme scenarios, bc this is the worst possible outcome. "Good people try to make it work, even in bad relationships." Ultimately this isn't just a "bad rs". It's a horrific association that should have been resolved ages ago, not one to bring your child into, doom it to suffer a similar fate, and expect people to sit idly and watch. That's what frustrates most.

[g3nosarchive]

ok i genuinely think a lot of other people have this problem but stop inserting yourself when xyz issue is mentioned. when someone is telling you that a person, a celebrity, some franchise is harming their identity or anyone’s identity as a minority, or part of a certain race or religion or anything shut the fuck up and accept it.

they do not need to know your emotional attachment to said thing, your disbelief, your horror, your personal experience - we didn’t ask for all that. we know just how bad it is, cus yk it harms us maybe? we’ve already gone through the cycle of being angry and indignant and now we’re here trying to get you to understand in the hopes that as a friend you do what you’re meant to do when you became friends with us. we are not your constant ball of anger to use whenever you find something that’s “crazy, unbelievably, shockingly” once again, a hate crime, when you decide you want to feel angry and care about it.

more under the cut bc i talk too much

by doing that, you’re making an issue that you didn’t even know about suddenly yours. ask yourself, what is the purpose for telling anyone all that? to get them to sympathize with you personally so you can get a pass because you didn’t know? of course you don’t know, of course you’re unaware, that’s the whole reason why you’re being told in the first place. do not water down the issue or even try to play the ‘everything has some issue like this so there’s no point in going this far’ card. especially as a white person. the reason why you don’t know primarily is because it doesn’t affect you and it doesn’t cross your mind.

when you watch a show with a black character, you don’t care about how off the character design is or how stereotypical and borderline racist the comedy gag surrounding said character is. when you listen to your favorite white music artists or watch your favorite movie with a majority white cast, white staff, white team, and white theme, you don’t care to analyze just how outdated and stereotypical the way that token asian character is portrayed. some of y’all don’t understand and will never understand the mental struggle and awareness forever plugged into the brain of lgbt and/or poc, especially black people when we consume anything, when we go anywhere, when we meet new people, to constantly catch those micro aggressions and know what to avoid.

so when someone tells you insert classic hot mess is racist and you should stop supporting it, one of the worst things you can do beside outright rejecting it is to defend it and insinuate that we don’t know what we’re talking about, that we need 30 different sources to prove it all, that you don’t think (for example taylor swifts dream colonized africa mv) is bad. you try to say the thing or person that is actively promoting all this homophobia, racism, transmisogyny etc needs to be kindly educated, is trying their best, will learn soon enough, just wasn’t educated, will do better in the future (esp looking at u kpop stans). does their apparent regret but refusal to properly apologize actually matter? the damage has already been done.

that in itself is a privilege i could never have. i don’t even try being a fan of any major white celebrity or any kpop group because i guarantee if i search up their name with ‘racist’, ‘sexist’, ‘homophobic’, ‘transphobic’, ‘cultural appropriation’ behind it something or some image is bound to show up. you will all say “oh they haven’t done anything yet” but when it comes out that they did, they have, and they do not care about who it affects, suddenly it’s a bombshell dropped on you out of nowhere.

it’s not that hard to spot these things actually. if your fav is constantly putting themselves against people of color, saying shady shit about non cishets while being a cishet themself, saying one thing and doing another, or has been silent when their voice was expected to speak up, shouldn’t you notice? y’all will reblog all these posts but in reality only 10% are actually reading and listening and actually digesting this information for future use.

and i think the thing that pisses me off is this is all from personal experience where i’m speaking from. over the past 2 days the amount of times if i’ve heard about the “tea that dropped w meghan markle” is ridiculous and annoying. a girl texted me and i sat there and i realized that she does this on a daily basis to fuel my anger and get me to validate her own useless anger. of course i knew about it and i wasn’t surprised at all - she’s still a black woman.

almost every black blog on here, when they get big enough, deals with some sort of weird shit surrounding their blackness. if you get big on speaking about issues you are now this emotionless token ‘smart black person i can actually trust’ to use as your replacement for google. this is not to say asking questions is bad, but it is so easy to pull up some of the shit you guys ask for. some people get called slurs directly, targeted for being too black or not black enough, attacked for their features and etc and someone mentioned this before but the only people that care in those situations are other black people themselves. white people will have blm in their bio but turn the other way the minute some anon starts acting up in their mutuals’ inbox, calling them a dark1e because they felt confident enough to post some selfies. and then you get sad when we dont go to you for any kind of support? 

i’ve stated sometimes that asking me questions on issues and things is okay, but one of the main reasons i say that is because whether i say it or not, i’ll be asked questions and expected to know everything and i am your personal walking encyclopedia and ofc it’s natural for me to have all this information in my head, as if i didn’t research it myself. but then i think about the numerous amounts of people that specifically say not to ask them this shit because it really does tire you out, that they don’t want to have to deal with this in any space but they still get them. 

and then the ones that don’t even know themself so people will use them as an example and say “well this person didn’t know and they’re ‘marginalized identity’ so it should be fine for me too”. good god just apologize, show that you really care, change your behavior and move on. do you think it was fun being asked the statistics for george floyd’s and other black peoples death in class? that you were being inclusive and giving me a chance to show off my intelligence, to prove to others that i really had something up here and you were my greatest star eyes white friend that gave me that chance? i cant close my posts like this properly but i want you to think about that shit and actually ask yourself if you’d do that. a lot of you will read this and think “i’m not that type of racist” ���i don’t have those deep seated prejudices in me” yes you do. you just haven’t been called out on it.

for all the shit ive dealt with above, if i’ve ever talked to you about this before dont come to me to apologize i do not need it and you are not the only person i’ve received this from. i guarantee you that there’s about 20 other people i’ve thought about while writing this post considering i’m a black person in the real world, so keep your guilt to yourself an deal with it

white people don’t add on to this

[ignatiusteto]

I didn’t know anything about Valorant but you kept posting about it and it looked so cool and I looked it up and i can’t play it because it looks like it’s multiplayer only and I’m incredibly shy BUT I love seeing all the art and posts you make and reblog about it even if I don’t understand it fully! Also the WIP artwork you’ve been posting is absolutely outstanding and I’m seriously impressed by your art skills.

JSHDKASJDH HI TYSM IT IS MULTIPLAYER ONLY BUT IF U GET GOOD FRIENDS TO PLAY WITH IT'S GOOD AND YOU DONT!!!! EVEN HAVE TO TALK TO PEOPLE!!! Val has built in callouts. I SUUUUPER get it and was really nervous to play at first but I got a couple friends to play with and it was v fun!!! and then it's kinda like skating in the event u get comfy with it slowly and just do it. you ALSO can just!!!!! turn off voice chat!!!!!!!! even text chat if you want ( dont recc tho bc people usually type damage there)!!!!! and the report button is super great for people with an attitude problem because every time ive used it ive gotten a response saying so n so has been penalized or whatever SOOOOOOOO BUT AJSJLSKDJKLSAK TYSM honestly the official valorant youtube and website are great places for info. it's a good ol 5v5 sort of capture the flag-y game and it has super duper cool lore (main reason why i played along with the art, i originally wanted to play it when it came out but i couldnt make an account for some reason >:((((((( ) BUT ALSO YOU CAN GET USED TO THE GAME IN THE SINGLE PLAYER RANGE AND CUSTOM GAME SETTING TO PRACTICE WITH GUNS AND CHARACTERS AND PLANTING/DIFFUSING THE SPIKE (in game bomb that's like the flag) ANYWAY SJLSFKDSKLJFDKJ THANK YOU SO MUCH ALSO FOR THE COMPLIMENT SOMETIMES I CAN DRAW SOMETIME'S I CAN'T AND REFERENCES ARE A LIFE SAVER (ive literally been looking for a ref pose forever though and finally i settled on a basic one bc i just wanna get fonte art out there because there's no actual thing for her yet)

i simply love this game lots n lots because it's unique compared to all the other fps games ive ever seen (and never played so kudos to riot for making an absolute banger of a game) and i like seeing what riot does with the content and the people they hire on like Neon's VA has a lot of good things to say about this new agent and I know a lot of fans from the Philippines are super excited and happy with Neon and some rep and i really hope to see more of that from this game,,

[vilesssserpent]

I posted 6,584 times in 2021

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For every post I created, I reblogged 24.9 posts.

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#cutie - 71 posts

#cats - 67 posts

#yo megatron check this out - 56 posts

#cute people - 51 posts

#raptor squad - 46 posts

Longest Tag: 136 characters

#bc i think my masks are cute and also so i dont have to smile when customers are saying the most batshit thing ive ever hears in my life

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

Tune in tomorrow to unmask the culprit

18 notes • Posted 2021-04-04 09:18:08 GMT

#4

So there's a 24/7 MST3K channel that shows just MST3K, RiffTraxs, and some other spin offs with the same crew. So my dad asked me to turn it on, and I literally opened it and played for like 4 seconds and then my dad goes "Oh no, not Hobgoblins!" The Hobgoblins weren't even on screen, I don't know what clued him in 🤣

18 notes • Posted 2021-02-03 01:10:33 GMT

#3

@thatwitchrevan hates frogs wtf?

18 notes • Posted 2021-08-25 02:29:29 GMT

#2

I know no one follows me to hear my thoughts, but while I'm making random posts that no one cares about: I want a Danny Phantom reboot. It's what we all deserve.

20 notes • Posted 2021-03-15 08:36:28 GMT

#1

Just realized I accidentally bought volumizing conditioner, but only after I used it. This is definetly a problem future me will throttle tonight me over, but it's her problem now. 🤷

22 notes • Posted 2021-08-26 05:16:37 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[tangerinefluff]

before i can freely dive back in on tumblr after being gone for a long time, i just wanted to address some asks i got during my inactivity: 

where do I start lmao. so i’m not sure if I understood the asks the way the anons intended to communicate them. could be because of a little language barrier? and im actually having trouble deciphering hate or disrespect because i have almost never in my life been hated or received serious hate in any form (i was THE good girl, on the outside that is, my entire life no one messed with bc i dont really do anything hateful like it’s just not in my nature to respond in that way 😅 anw very besides the point) so you may talk to me again if that’s not what you (anon) intended.

to the first one who said this: 

hi! i get ur suggestion but maybe word it differently? bc that was kinda rude. first off, this one (garbage) writing is for you too. second, i appreciate the cute hearts at the end to go with the insult in the beginning 😅 (but also) third, you’re on MY blog. i mean,,, with the first words i agree? LMAO. i apologize i don’t have the best thoughts but no i won’t change things. this is literally my own space and im sharing a little of what’s on my mind and they don’t have to be useful and significant and a WOW moment kind of post to everyone lmao. fourth, you can locate the unfollow/mute button yourself. im not actually sure what writings you meant, if it’s the unrelated or personal posts/asks, or the blog-related shitty posts. and i’m not very tidy with my tags either so i’ll try harder on that! will tag unrelated texts as “garbage.text” and blog-related texts as “hq.text”. fifth, that’s what i keep my following tabs open for actually. i follow a lot of even betterrr blogs with content like mine and esppp amazing artists you should check out yk instead of sending people ask like that..haha. lastly, i hope you don’t go around sending blogs asks like this one and just filter out the stuff you want to consume yourself. let’s be careful with words bestie! (edit: also my blog now is 90% reblogged art so.... why the big issue).

candidate #2 who quoted a tag on my post and said: 

aah what i meant there is that i am actually having a hard time remembering.. in general. (cue the victim card script) yes dramatic but i feel like my memory’s deteriorating. can’t remember names of people i just met or friends from a long time. things i just did or the phone i just put down 30 secs ago. conversations and with whom. read somewhere that it could be due to mental health problems. and i cant keep track of all the interactions here so i mess things up sometimes which is why i’m less active. and its not bc my friends here are insignificant!!! lmao. dw i remember, i have my close friends’ UNs and names listed on my notes too :D

yk i wanna bite harder than this bc im a real B on the inside and i wanted to make light of this (somehow funny to me because ik i shouldn’t respond bc it feels like twitter behavior) &&& i wanted to show off my clean record that i haven’t ever been hated before lmao until this moment that is. im just super shocked cause i’m 22 and JUST realizing, oh so this is the dangerous stuff on the internet! like i thought i could’ve avoided them because im.... literally... nice that i’m almost boring here and unproblematic and trying my best and just talking about stuff i like. bestie is not special over here.

to those who have been following me from the first (cringe) days, would know i post reallyyyy randomly. it was more original posts rather than reblogs. and i minimized on that when my following increased. there’s 4.4k amazing people following this blog in just a little over a year. so i toned down the personal stuff right away. honestly got conscious and i didn’t like it because the blog started to feel less like it’s mine. i can’t openly switch to a different content/media or just scream nonsense. i can’t answer personal asks freely. can’t interact with mutuals. then i just decided that i won’t mind anymore. as long as my post isn’t offensive and/or rude, i will post as i wish. i don’t normally engage in hateful posts because it bums me out. like a minute into reading these asks they really upset me then writing my response and letting this sit in the drafts made me think i won’t bother anymore because i could just let the asks get lost into the void and it’s not like i did anything wrong, but i guess i had a little energy today. and yes, will be turning off anon asks from here on out.

i hope this one won’t get dragged out and i’m not expecting any interactions from this because i just wanna talk about stuff i’ve been getting into lately, back to regular programming.. AAAAHHHHH!!! not sure if this will reach the anons (expected they unfollowed because that’s the smart thing to do) but I still wish them a good day/night and a peaceful tumblr experience! (^^)

[molusca]

she apologized for how she handled the situation and apologized for brushing off someone's honest criticisms as hate. what more is she meant to do? throw herself onto a pyre? is she not allowed to feel lousy that this whole thing blew up in her face? because she's an adult and she made a mistake, she's not allowed to be sad or stressed? she's still an imperfect human. apologizing immediately usually means people are still sensitive to their own hurt of being called out because it's fresh and on their mind so it tends to slip into their apology, but if she had waited any longer to compose herself, you guys would probably have an issue with how long she took. also, in aaaaaallll of this, I've have yet to once see what exactly about her work is so problematic? I've read her fic and I personally can't see anything wrong, although I will admit that yes, I'm a white ciswoman but I'd like to think I'm aware of negative tropes. but the only thing touted is "it made an mlm uncomfortable" but HOW??? honestly, I want to know! if anything so I can avoid doing the same thing! how is anyone meant to learn when you're not bringing up these points as often as you're explicitly laying out the problems in her apology and whatnot. I've seen 6 posts about how shit the apology was and for why and I've not once seen the original comment detailing why the fic was problematic, and I've been looking on twit, tumblr, insta, and ao3. if it's been deleted, why isn't anyone stating again and again what's wrong? also, if someone is making fic/art you don't like, don't. interact. with. it. there's tons of stuff on ao3 and twit that I don't like, some of it that I think is disgusting (do you know how many fics there are with keith/kosmos?) and I just scroll past it cause it can't hurt me if I don't read it. there's one artist that's pretty popular on Twitter and I personally really hate they way they draw klance but it's all over my tl. I respect that person's art style and creativeness and keep on moving. other people enjoy it, good for them. and if I start reading something and get surprised with something I dont like, I leave! find people who write things you like and stop engaging with creators who's things you don't like, as far as I know no one is holding a gun to your head making you read problematic fic. also for as much as you rag on her for the words she used to apologize, you don't seem to be considering your own words when offering criticism. if Taylor mistook the person's words as hate, couldn't it have been because the way he worded the complaint was done hatefully? lastly, no one, absolutely no one, is required to talk about world issues when they're running a fandom account,no matter how "big" they are. we all know what's going on in the world, we're surrounded by sad and stressful stories practically 24/7 and if someone isn't, they're probably curating their social feeds to be that way (like you should do when it come to kl content creators you don't like). people sending hate in Taylor's defense are in the wrong I agree, and this isn't hate its critism its a discussion, but Taylor isn't responsible for, how many people did you say? 16k on twit? even if she said hey guys stop, you think they would? she's can't control all those people and expecting her to is nonsense. I see so many younger fans expecting perfection in their fandoms and that just isn't going to happen. yes we should be striving to be better but no one is ever going to be perfect. not you, not me, not the mlm person, not Taylor, not anyone on any side of this argument. the only way to avoid this kind of circular dog piling and hate sending is to better curate your fandom experience by ignore those you have issues with.- 🦛

she apologized for how she handled the situation and apologized for brushing off someone's honest criticisms as hate. what more is she meant to do?

im pretty sure i said its good that she realizes she handled it poorly. but she makes the whole apology about this, doesnt directly talk about the issues and i know someone went to her to talk about it. also, it took her a day to say something about it so it wasnt exactly immediate (in the sense people had already stopped talking about it but that doesnt mean they werent still bothered). the apology was directed at mlm, and i havent seen one saying it felt genuine. of couse she can be hurt but when you apologize to a marginalized group the focus shouldnt be your feelings, but the feelings of the ones you have hurt.

I've have yet to once see what exactly about her work is so problematic?

she admits to be projecting on lance. so she makes him very femine and keith very masculine. and ok, gay couples like that do exist, but she is a woman projecting in this situation so this bothers people. putting mlm in this position is a harmful steriotype, bc it feels very heterosexual. this is a trope, it unfortunately happens a lot and its harmful. women need to be aware of what they are representing when drawing/writing mlm because well, real mlm are going to see it, and no one likes to feel like a fetish to others. and its not our place to question if the criticism is right or wrong when we are not mlm, so if you read this and think “but thats not a problem thats not a fetish etc” well, its not your place to judge that. theres more to it and you probably could get a better answer from a mlm sorry.

if someone is making fic/art you don't like, don't. interact. with. it. there's tons of stuff on ao3 and twit that I don't like, some of it that I think is disgusting (do you know how many fics there are with keith/kosmos?) and I just scroll past it cause it can't hurt me if I don't read it.

please, lets not compare a minority pointing out harmful tropes with. something fucking illegal.

as you said, you are a cis woman, of course its not going to hurt you in this case. but if people are making harmful content its not a simple matter of “dont interact with it” because they will still be promoting it, other people are going to read it, and media influences how we see minorities so of course people will not like when they see bad portrayal of them. also, tumblr sucks so even if you want to just “dont interact with it” its hard because even after blocking you can still cross the content of someone. not sure how it works on twitter but anyway this discussion started on tumblr and tumblr doesnt stop people who were bothered by her to avoid her by blocking.

if Taylor mistook the person's words as hate, couldn't it have been because the way he worded the complaint was done hatefully?

i think she deleted the ask by now, but i dont remember the ask being hateful. i remember someone asking if she was a fujoshi, and another person mentioned that mlm didnt like the way she portrayals klance. i dont remember it being hateful. but again, she apologized for handling it badly. its just that she stops there.

no one, absolutely no one, is required to talk about world issues when they're running a fandom account,no matter how "big" they are. we all know what's going on in the world, we're surrounded by sad and stressful stories practically 24/7 and if someone isn't, they're probably curating their social feeds to be that way

ignoring world issues is a privilege. if someone is able to turn off from all the problems in the world, its a privilige. yes no one should talk aobut it all the time thats not even healthy, but to never talk about it is a privilege. thats what black people are saying, they cant just turn off from racism, so yes they are going to expect white people to do something. online honestly i cant do shit, i dont think anything i reblog here does a difference and i do what i can in my own country, but she has a plataform that could help bring awareness. again, its a privilege to be able to curate your social media to be a perfect happy place.

even if she said hey guys stop, you think they would? she's can't control all those people and expecting her to is nonsense.

maybe they wouldnt, but if people were doing this type of thing in my name, in my defense, i would at least say something about it idk. she cant control them but she makes nothing to show that she disagrees or look for the people being harassed to say something about it.

the only way to avoid this kind of circular dog piling and hate sending is to better curate your fandom experience by ignore those you have issues with.

when it comes to simple things like “i prefer taller lance and i dont like taller keith” yeah, its fine to ignore people who draw taller keith and move on with your life or something like that. but we are talking about mlm, a real group of people, being upset for being portrayed in a harmful and steriotype way. its everywhere in fandom, and in real life. they cant escape from real life, and then they come to fandom where everyone wants some escapism and have to deal with more issues. its tiring

[chaninfused]

Hey so I'm an anon who pops in sometime. I had no idea you were feeling this way. I'm a student rn so I have to pic my way through your works really slow, but I want you to know I'm here! I've been dying to read the minho fic you posted a whole back and it's new sequel bc hes my bias and we need more good minho fics. I love your world building, by the way. Like a ton. You helped my find a missing fic on here a while ago (it turned out to be eye of heaven) I loved it. I also got to read candles in the sky a while ago, it was super good too (I want to go back and read it bc jisung has been wrecking but it's been midterms). I like the whole assasin au you did as well. I first found you because of the match girl and you honestly broke my heart 😥 never moved on from that and always live under the hopeful delusion you'll write an alternate ending.

It is clearly my grief talking but still.

I think I've read every single drabble (I try to heart every time) but sometime i come back just to be sure i havent missed any, esp when a bias wrecker comes calling and I want content. Tbh you're really good. Good enough youd never have to write for us for free. But I'm grateful that you do.

I confess, I dont get to engage with your longer works as much as I want to (if you ever wanna do chapters that would be fun bc it gives you a way to find your way back to the spot you left off reading easier 🥺).

But like, your descriptions are super good, your world building is awesome. I I'm too take the time really READ it not just skim it.

But, I'm sorry you havent felt appreciated bc honestly you're more engaging to me than a lot of published novelists. If you dont want to write because its not bringing you enjoyment or positive feedback, I understand. But you deservse to at least know how amazing and talented you are. I see other blogs talk about you and tag you a ton. But even so, to be honest I feel like the best writers on here often get overlooked you among them. So I understand, but please know: you are amazingly talented. I'll honestly be really sad if you go, but we arent entitled to your hard work and effort, and I get that. And know if you ever write original fiction I'd be down for it.

Anyway. Sorry this was long. And sorry I havent gotten to see some of your longer works yet but I at least want you to know u see them, and I plan too. I know that's not a big consolation but I do love your writing and I want to partake of it when I can actually truly read it. Thank you for your time and energy, and sorry if this is ramble but its 3am here but I couldnt not adress this.

Thanks for your time and investment,

-Anon.

That's ok no hurry! I just wanted to be sure it was there 🥺 also I wanna add I'm sorry I dont reblog more...I have friends in tumblr who dont know I read kpop fanfic...😥 I'm thinking of getting another one at some point so I can. But I want you to know, I would reblog your stuff a ton. That's why not, and I'm so sorry if its come off as apathy. 😥

hey, bubs! ✨ thank you for taking the time to write this out, I really appreciate it 💞

oh wow, I don’t know where to begin with this 😅

let me start by saying that I’m happy to know you’ve enjoyed several pieces of my work, including my blurbs. reading this yesterday helped me a lot 💕 and don’t worry, I’ll probably never leave as long as I’m in my right mind...

I know I don’t post as often as I used to a year ago, and my content has changed a little over the time, so I’m grateful that all of you are still here. don’t misunderstand me, it’s not that I don’t appreciate the humble audience I’ve attracted, it’s that I’m baffled at the counter effect of their growth. with the uncertainty of the tumblr tags, we writers solely depend on our followers to share our work. if neither tumblr nor our readers want to cooperate with us then expect that we remain active and happy, then we’re all set for doom. 

there are solutions if you look for them. one can always create a side blog to dedicate for their different interests, in regards to the situation with your friends. a lot of people do that, and you could try it too if you’d like! ✨

once more, thank you for this 💖 

(p.s. I don’t write alternative endings :P)

[dilliebar]

Alrighty guys, I collected your questions and now I've got the answers for ya. Thank you all for submitting your asks, it was really sweet to hear from all of you! 💕

Without further ado, here's the Q&A!

Q1: Hi dilliebar!! 😊 I saw you and montys q + a collab on her blog and you guys are totally hilarious! Monty seems like a sweet heart to you and I look forward to seeing you guys post about each other! 💜 For your own q + a, how did you realize you liked monty, who asked who out, and how did it go? Give us the deets!! 😂 Love, a fan

A: Well it would take me a while to get into the full story, but like I said on monty's post, we really got to know each other really well during quarantine. I remember the first string of days where we talked to each other all day and up until we were too tired to text anymore. When I first realized I liked her was the first time she told me "goodnight" and "good morning", which sounds really cheesy but I remember it really vividly. After quite a long time of flirting with this clueless asshole, one day I just started venting to her about this "mystery girl" that I liked, and she told me to ask her out. So I did, right then and there, and sent monty an ask saying "I like you, idiot". As you can probably tell, she felt the same way 😌 Love you too, anon! 💕

Q2: Hi. For the Q/A, do you have any hobbies? Love your writing, by the way. Would love to know what else you get up to in your free time.

A: Well video games, obviously are a big one. I stayed up for like 30 hours straight just to finish tlou2. But other than that, my main thing would definitely have to be computer science, although I'm hoping to turn that into a little more than a hobby after I get my associates. Mostly I've been fucking around with Unity but sometimes I make programs in C++ just to do my homework for me cause I'm lazy. Also, one of my nerdiest (but funnest) hobbies is playing Dungeons and Dragons. I've been playing it since I was 12 or 13 and it's been one of my favorite things to do ever since; I always play at our local game shop on Sundays and Wedensdays 😌🎲

Q3/3.5 (since these kind of go hand-in-hand):

what inspires you to write?

and

hi totally not monty or anything but i wanted to contribute so :) what’s something that really inspires you to write? also ur cute :)

A: Honestly ever since I was really little I liked to get lost in my head and all that. Whenever I got into something, like tv shows or video games, I liked to think about possible scenarios or storylines they might be a part of. When my sister told me about fanfiction I was like "hey, I could do that!" and I did. For a while I only wrote TWD fanfiction (don't ask, I'll never tell you which ones), then I dropped out of writing fanfiction for a while, and once I hopped onto the TLOU2 hype train I needed an outlet for all of my predictions and thoughts on the characters, so I hopped back into writing again. I like to write what I'm feeling; angsty if I'm sad; fluffy if I'm feeling sappy; but overall I've always really connected with Ellie's character ever since I played tlou all those years ago, so she's always a joy to write no matter what mood the fic is. Also, you're cute too "anon" you fuckin nut.

Q4: How did you and monty meet, Dillie? :) Do you guys plan on meeting irl? Love you guys xx

A: Monty and I first met here on Tumblr. I read a lot of her writing and lowkey lurked on her blog for a while, and our first interaction was me reblogging a "dina's a power bottom" post with some stupid meme telling her she was wrong skdksjfkskd. I remember the first conversation was in the comments of a random post, I dont quite remember which, but it went a little something like:

"ur wrong"

"no ur wrong"

"no U-"

and thats how we became mutuals. then the pandemic hit and things ramped up from there, and so here we are. also, we are hopefully planning on meeting sometime in the winter, which would be absolutely amazing bc I miss her very much 💕

Q5: What’s your favorite OST from part 2?

A: oooooo, okay, so my favorite OST would definitely have to be "allowed to be happy". Even though its based off of an Abby/Owen quote, it always makes me think of Ellie/Dina and I usually have it in the background while I'm writing.

Q6: Your fic is amazing! 😊💕 You’re an insane writer Dillie. You and Monty blow me away with your writing. Which leads me to my Q&A Question: Does Monty ever help you write? Or do you help her? Do you guys plan on writing a fic together? (That would be so amazing!!!! 😱) Anyway, keep up the great work! Looking forward to more stuff from you! ☺️

A: thank you so much anon!! 💕🥺 We do help each other out a lot, whether it's coming up with ideas for a section or just figuring out how to make a transition. I will admit, when I wrote the "Use Me" fic I needed a lot of help from her because I'd never written a smut fic before. There's also a part in Monty's "In Her Backseat" fic where Ellie's group of friends are eating lunch together, and Dina brushes some pizza sauce off of Ellie's face; that was me 👀. Oh and we have talked about doing a fic together, but we're still trying to find the right one. Feel free to leave suggestions 💕😁

Q7: hi dilliebar :D what do you see yourself doing as a career in the future and where do you picture yourself living? thanks! ❤️

A: Like i said earlier, I'm really interested in computer science, and I've been learning a lot of C++ and about computer structures since quarantine. I'm actually in college rn and I'm taking my first CS class this upcoming semester so I'm really excited for that! I'd love to work in the game development industry (Naughty Dog is my dream), but when I was younger I really wanted to work at Google, so who knows? But definitely the computer science field. As for where I want to live, that's a hard one. I've always been a city girl so I'd have to say somewhere populated, although once I retire I'd like to either just chill out on a nice farm somewhere or move back to my small hometown 😌💕

And that’s about it for this Q&A! Again, thank you guys so much for all the questions, I really wasn’t expecting such an incredible response. It’s really nice to talk to you guys, even if it’s anonymously :)