#i turn 22 this year and i’ve never had a birthday party

[sleepitawaydear]

cake tastes like loneliness

[markrosewater]

Happy birthday! Can we get some birthday trivia about you on your birthday?

Sure. I turn 56 today, so here’s fifty-six things you may or may not know about me.

1) I never lost a baby tooth. Every one had to be extracted.

2) I was once a contestant on Trivial Pursuit: The Game Show with Wink Martindale. I answered the most questions correct, but didn’t win.

3) I once had scarlet fever (the thing the boy gets in the Velveteen Rabbit).

4) I’ve been told by doctors I have very weird blood.

5) I self taught myself to juggle.

6) I was a magician when I was a kid with the stage name The Wiz Kid. I mostly performed for kids parties.

7) I was once a freelance greeting card writer. My favorite (that didn’t get printed) showed a jug of maple syrup tipped on its side making a puddle of syrup. In the syrup was a top hat. A hand is pulling a can of green paint with a shamrock out of the hat. You open up the card and it says Sappy Paint Hat Tricks Day. It’s a triple Spoonerism.

8) Sara Gilbert (of “Roseanne” fame) and I once went out for lunch. (It wasn’t a date or anything.)

9) I broke my collarbone doing a prat fall off a stage.

10) I once pet a cheetah. In South Africa. My face from the picture of me doing that was used as my “Making Magic” photo for years.

11) I once made a root beer float for Keanu Reeves. It was at a play I was volunteering for.

12) I once get trapped inside Fred Astaire’s Estate. This factoid is oddly on my Wikipedia page.

13) Starting during the pandemic, my family began fostering animals. So far, we fostered four dogs, six cats, and two Guinea pigs.

14) In college, I wrote and directed two plays, started an improvisation troupe, and a writing workshop.

15) I still have all my wisdom teeth.

16) I have visited every continent except Antarctica for Magic.

17) I once asked Clint Eastwood for directions, not realizing who it was until he started talking. I was lost on the Warner Brothers lot.

18) My first job in Hollywood resulted from me taking part in someone else’s interview. I snuck on the lot, and ended walking into a room where they asked “Are you here for the production assistant interview?”, and I said, “Yes.”

19) I once had a disease the doctors couldn’t identify. They called it Mark’s Disease.

20) I was born in Mississippi. My dad was in the Air Force at the time.

21) I asked out seven woman to my senior prom who all turned me down. I ended up going with a friend who also couldn’t get a date.

22) I took six years of Spanish.

23) Most of my family’s vacations growing up were ski vacations, so I’m a decent skier.

24) I once delivered a pizza to Richard Gere. It was as a production assistant, not a pizza delivery person.

25) I once broke into an actor’s apartment building to deliver a script. It was so late, they were asleep and didn’t hear the buzzing of the door bell.

26) I once drove six hours (three in each direction) to pick up one five-stick package of Blackjack gum as a runner (production assistant).

27) Dennis Miller once thought I was a crazy man. I was sent to get him from the parking lot for a shoot and he thought I was stalking him.

28) I have over two hundred tee-shirts. They are organized by color.

29) I was supposed to pitch to “The Simpsons”, but it got cancelled when I got hired in the “Roseanne” staff.

30) I pitched multiple times to “Star Trek: The Next Generation”, but never sold a script. The closest I got was a pitch about Data malfunctioning.

31) I once ate crocodile. In Australia.

32) I played the Tinman in fifth grade in a production of “The Wizard of the Oz”. I was so hot, my silver make-up had to be reapplied halfway through as I sweated it off.

33) My mother turned down being on “Oprah” to come to my college graduation.

34) My parents are both retired. My dad was a dentist and my mom a psychologist. I used to joke I had a “paradox”.

35) Every birthday since I was 9, I’ve celebrated my birthday with crab legs.

36) Since I was in grade school, every Valentine’s Day, I hand out candy hearts, and every Halloween, I hand out mellowcreme pumpkins (basically pumpkin shaped candy corns).

37) My tee-shirts every week are themed. Some themes are pretty obvious, but they often get tricky. R&D likes figuring out the theme.

38) I got a BS in Communications (no, really) from Boston University’s College of Communications.

39) I collect superhero Minimates (they look Lego-ish). I have somewhere around two thousand. They are displayed in a number of cabinets built by my dad.

40) My podcast was inspired by a talk by Kevin Smith (at San Diego Comic-Con) where he said anyone could make a podcast.

41) I have attended over twenty-five San Diego Comic-Cons.

42) I am related to Lorne Green of “Bonanza” fame.

43) My dad’s family came from Germany and my mom’s from Russia. In Germany, my family’s name was Rosenvasser, but it was changed to Rosewater when they came to the U.S.

44) There are so few Rosewaters in the United States, that if you meet a Rosewater odds are I’m related to them.

45) I have lived in five states (Mississippi, Ohio, Massachusetts, California, and Washington, in that order).

46) I have visited over thirty states for Magic.

47) I once met Jim Henson when I worked on a clip show that Kermit was on. The question I asked him was if Ernie and Bert were named after the characters from “It’s a Wonderful Life”. He said not consciously. Jim Henson is one of my idols and I feel so blessed to have met him. He died a few months later.

48) I met Stan Lee at Hascon. He is another of my idols that I feel so lucky to have met.

49) On “Roseanne”, I worked with Amy Sherman-Palladino (just Amy Sherman back then) and Chuck Lorre. She made “Gilmore Girls” and “The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel”. He made “Big Bang Theory” and “Two and a Half Men”. Amy was super sweet and we got along well. I don’t think Chuck liked me.

50) I am a super picky eater. For example, except for apples, I don’t eat fruit. I hate bananas with a passion.

51) I have been a game player since very young. My dad loves games and introduced them to me early in life.

52) I get the writing bug from my mom.

53) I used to collect lint in a giant jar. When I got married, Lora made me get rid of it. It was an impressive amount of lint.

54) I have a bad tendency to burn myself a lot. My family loves to make fun of it.

55) I own over fifty flannels. My favorites are from Japan because they are more colorful with their flannels. Normally I wear a large, but in Japanese sizes, I’m an extra large.

56) My favorite number is 254. I chose it when I was little.

[chaotictarlos]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love❤

Thank you both for the asks! I love this little game! It's always nice to have a reason to brag about my writing or shine some light on fics I wished people looked at more. In no particular order, here's a list of mine.

You took the best of my heart and left the rest in pieces - This is one of my favorite fics that I've written in this fandom. It's a character study and exploration of emotions through Carlos' POV of the breakup era. I enjoy writing the breakup era and writing the boys getting back together, and how each of them make their way back to the other. This is the first part in a series of what will be three fics. It can also be read on it's own. (I'm currently working on the TK POV one but real life has been busy lately)

I’ve always dreamed of me and you, now here we are - summary: It's a tale as old as time, meeting the right person but during the wrong time of life. TK Strand and Carlos Reyes dated in college but parted ways when they graduated, not knowing they would ever see each other again. Six years later, Carlos is working as a social worker in Travis County and TK has just accepted a position as a professor at The University of Texas at Austin. They run into each other when a mutual friend invited TK out for the evening. This is a fic that I've taken a pause on because of some truly nasty people who, instead of not reading, decided that they wanted to send hateful words my way. I want to get back into this fic, I have so many ideas for it and how I want them to eventually end up back together. I have the next chapter written and ready to post, I've just been anxious about it.

With love, your soulmate - summary: Carlos Reyes doesn’t think he has a soulmate. In the 22 years he had been alive he had never found anything that would tell him otherwise. At first, it bothered him that he was seemingly without anyone and that there wasn’t a perfect person out there for him but he learned to grow comfortable with that information. He learned to adapt, to date enough that he wouldn’t be lonely, and on the nights when he was without anyone he found ways to make himself feel good. He was content. Or so he thought so until a letter arrived on the day of his 22 birthday. A letter addressed to him, from the past and from his soulmate. From there, they start talking. Leaving letters for each other to find and read, falling in love through the words that they shared. Will TK ever catch up to Carlos so that they can have their happy ever after? Or will time remain cruel to them? **Soulmate AU based on the short film Brooklyn Love Stories - Long Time Distance Relationship with Ronen** This fic was such a labor of love because it was so hard at times to figure out timelines and to get it the way that I wanted it to go. In the end, it was so worth it and it's the first chapter fic I finished in this fandom. I also just love a good soulmate au.

Jingle those Balls - summary: Two families, one fake relationship. TK needs a fake date for his mother's Christmas Work Party. Enter Carlos. MY TARLOS HALLMARK FIC. I almost didn't write this but Cee encouraged me so much an dI am SO glad that I did. I ended up writing 20K words in two weeks and I just love how this turned out. It's silly, fun, a little angsty and smutty. Carlos is so sassy in it too. I had such a delight in writing it!

where do we go from here / how did we (i) get here? / And in your hands, is all of me - the parts I never let you have - I'm rec'ing all of these together because they truly need to be read together. These three fics kicked off my season 4 coda series and deals with the topic of Carlos being married to Iris. There's a fic from Carlo's POV, TK's POV, and then them together. I struggled a bit with the secret when it was revealed and this was a great way for me to work through it and I think I created some really good fics that deal with the topic.

Bonus +1

We can get a little crazy just for fun - My series of slutty Carlos fics. These are just fun, smutty fics that are inspired by Rafael's thirst posts and I always enjoy writing them. I think others would enjoy them as well.

[stevesfuzzypinkslippers]

from the top of the stairwell in my house, i could hear my two big brothers discussing my big birthday party that was set to take place later that afternoon.

i was turning five, which apparently was a “big age,” according to them. i always thought a big age was 27, or 25, like them. mom always liked to use the word “milestone” when she talked about big ages. then again, she used that word all the time, not just in talking about ages. for instance, she always talked about milestones when she was jogging. she loved doing that.

henry and percy gained a baby sister when they were 22 and 20. i always asked them if it was weird. that i was basically still a baby to them. “nah, we love it,” they told me. “that means we get to permanently pick on you.” i think they were just messing with me when they said that.

“so, let’s see who we have here, maisie, aria, cooper, benny, kidd… i think that’s it.”

“yeah, they’re all coming over.”

“is that confirmed?”

“yeah. you talk to the parents?”

“i thought that was your responsibility?”

“psh, you know how anxious i get over the phone.”

“c’mon, man, we’re teachers. we have to talk to them all the time.”

“still doesn’t make it easy.”

“and… you picked up the blue monster cake that she wanted?”

“i called, said they were out of stock.”

“crap, then what do we do?”

“i’ve no idea.”

“we’ll think of something.”

“yeah, def.”

later that day, i could see several adults and several children come in through the door.

my brothers began to greet the grownups, socializing with them this way and that.

still, i observed from the stairwell, a bit shy to come down.

“yeah, we’re both teachers at the dreamers academy. it’s, uh, it’s a school. well, we do volunteer at the humane society from time to time.”

“well, i think i’m the only one still doing that.”

“it’s hard to carve time out of my schedule, okay?”

“while you’re doing what? binge watching hulu?”

“man’s gotta do what man’s gotta do.”

“i swear to god.”

i could hear several adults laughing.

“yeah, we set up a starbucks date sometime? maybe grab coffee and donuts? wait, does starbucks even have donuts?”

“yeah, absolutely, great to see you again! yeah, she’s getting big, growing up too fast.”

“i remember when she was little, well, she’ll always be little to us, but when she was little little, she’d follow us around all the time…”

“did it ever get annoying? no, we were mature about it.”

“she’s always been cute. always loved us.”

“yeah, absolutely. she’s five now, can you believe it?”

“hey, you know where she is?”

“did you call her down?”

“allie? where are you love?”

“maybe she’s with the other kids in the bonus room.”

“yeah, let’s check there.”

i heard their voices fade as they walked away from the bottom of the stairwell and further into the house.

we had a big house. it had three stories. the giant blue room that took up most of the third floor was mine. it used to be an attic, but then we moved the attic into a storage closet on the first floor. i think it came right after i was born.

my brothers were right in saying that they were both teachers. they were both naturally gifted with kids. the dreamers academy sounded like a strange name for a school, but it was all to appeal to the adults who wanted to send their kids away to a place where they could have fun and dream big while they learn. that was kind of their motto, anyway. and it attracted the kids, as well, because all the teachers were devoted, dedicated individuals who always prioritized the children they taught. and they made the lessons fun. and no day was ever challenging, at least, according to my brothers.

but they could often times be intimidating to someone as little as me. i only knew them, truly knew them, for two years. i only began talking when i was two. and they never really spent time around the house until i was around three. i don’t even remember being held by them. i did remember the following them around part, though.

i always thought of them as fun uncles. i never thought of them as my brothers.

but they had tender, caring hearts. big, big hearts. like they were giant, human teddy bears. soft, gentle and huggable.

but, at the age of almost five, i was shy. reserved. quiet. but that never bothered them. they said that maybe i’d grow out of my quiet demeanor, my shyness, but that if i didn’t, well, it wasn’t a big deal.

suddenly i heard voices shouting,

“allie?! allie?! where are you? the party’s down here, silly!”

“allie, come down, please, everyone’s waiting for you!”

a few moments later:

“allie, don’t make me count to three.”

nobody could see me because i was on the third floor, not the first. i was so high up that it wouldn’t be easy to spot me.

i liked to be elusive. but sometimes that got me in big trouble.

so i rushed downstairs and attacked both henry and percy’s legs with big hugs.

“ahaha, there she is!”

“hey, birthday girl!”

“kiddo.” i felt one of them rub the top of my head.

i said hi to all of my friends thag showed up. my brothers were all familiar with them, since they all attended the same school as me and we were all in the same classes. henry taught reading and math and percy taught gym. they looked kind of similar, but henry wore glasses a lot of the time.

“mr. angus,” (that was our last name and how the rest of the kids knew my brothers), “i want to play in the bonus room, can we play in the bonus room?”

i saw one of my friends tugging on henry’s wrist and hand with both their hands.

that made me laugh a bit.

“absolutely!” he chuckled when the tugging got to be so forceful it dragged his feet across the tile floor of the kitchen. “alright, alright, i’m coming!”

i looked up to percy, who was just about to join them before he looked down to me. “hey, allicat, ya comin?”

i giggled and nodded, following him into the big bonus room.

later on, both of my brothers, down on their hands and knees, got trampled on by me all my friends. we were using them like giant jungle gyms.

my friends’ parents liked to tease me a bit, saying stuff like “oh, you must be the smartest kid that goes there, you have two brothers who are both teachers there!” this wasn’t really true. i wasn’t realy that smart for an almost five year old. but my brothers didn’t mind.

later on, henry had gotten dragged into a different direction by the kids while i followed percy into the kitchen. he was going to call a bakery to see if they had another cake in stock for me.

“percy, i wanna show you my handstand! can you see it? please??”

he chuckled and sat down on the kitchen counter. “alright, let me see it.”

so i did it for as long as i could, never minding that my hands were touching a floor that so many feet had stepped on. but it was near-perfect. and i was quite proud of it.

“wow, look at you go! that was brilliant!” he clapped a bit, laughing. “well done! how long have you been practicing?”

i shrugged. “i don’t know, i don’t do it much, i just wanted someone to see it.”

“that was really good, allie, well done kiddo!” he got off the counter and bent down to rub the top of my head.

i frowned. “i want to show henry, but… i’m afraid he’ll laugh.”

“aw, sunshine, no he won’t. he’ll love it as much as i do.”

“you promise?”

“i promise.” he drew an x on his heart, smiling down at me to show that he meant it. “c’mon, you wanna go show it to him right now?”

suddenly i felt my cheeks turn bright red. suddenly i got all shy again. i shook my head.

“aw, why not? you shy?”

i nodded.

“allie,” he laughed, “don’t be shy. if you want, i can get his attention.”

i nodded, my smile fading.

his faded right alongside mine as he took a knee in front of me.

“aw, allie, what’s wrong?” he rubbed my back.

“what if i mess it up?” i whispered.

“you won’t mess it up,” he chuckled. “i know this.”

“i’m still nervous,” i smiled slightly.

“aw, you shouldn’t be nervous around him, allie, he’s our big bro, he’s got your back. always.”

suddenly i could hear henry yelling from the room next door, “percy! help me! they’ve got me trapped!”

percy and i both giggled as he rolled his eyes. “oh, boy,” he sighed out, then looked down at me with a smile, nodding in that direction. “c’mon, let’s go help him out, and then we can show everyone your impressive handstand.”

“it’s not impressive,” i muttered.

“well, i think it is.” suddenly he took my hand and ran off towards the living room, pulling me like a sled dog.

he always liked to do that with me, and every time it made me laugh.

right as we entered the room, however, the doorbell rang.

“oh, that must be the cake!” percy exclaimed. “hang on,” he held up a finger, “i’ll be right back.”

as i watched him run off towards the front door, i felt someone tug my hand in the direction of henry (the same hand tugger as before) and someone else shouting in my ear, “c’mon allie! we gotta trample him!”

“i’m already trampled, geez!” that was henry’s comical squeaky high pitched voice. of course, this made all the kids shriek with laughter.

a few moments later, we could hear percy’s voice from the kitchen:

“alright, who’s ready for cake?”

all the kids instantly hopped off of henry and stormed off, eagerly awaiting a slice.

henry and i had to both run to join them, henry sounding a bit out of breath.

after everyone sang happy birthday to me (i turned a bit red in the face, as my shyness sometimes couldn’t handle a bunch of people singing directly to me), and i helped percy cut the cake, and after we stuffed our faces with said cake, we eagerly ran back into the bonus room, with henry breathlessly following close behind. i knew percy probably ran to clean up.

“alright, now who’s ready for a talent contest?” henry asked all of us.

“ooh ooh!! me! me! me!” a whole bunch of hands shot up.

“alright, who’s willing to go first? well, actually, how bout we have the birthday girl go first?” henry gestured to me. “how’s about it, allie!”

“yeah, allie!”

“yay, allie!”

“woo, allieee!!!” everyone was looking at me, clapping at me.

“c’mon allie!”

“you can do this!”

“you got this!”

suddenly one of the kids had started up a chant. “al-lie! al-lie! al-lie!”

soon all of them joined in, clapping to the rhythm.

now, i was absolutely mortified. i knew i wanted to do my handstand, and this was the perfect golden opportunity, but… i still wasn’t feeling confident about it. i knew i could do it in front of percy, but… could i do it front of henry?

“n-no,” i shook my head, nervously clasping my hands together and fidgeting slightly. “i-i don’t wanna go…”

“oh, allie, why not?”

“yeah, are you afraid?”

“you scared?”

“you’re a chicken!”

“c’mon, allie…”

now, this was far, far worse than anyone laughing at me. this was teasing. jeering. bullying.

i looked over to henry, who was trying his best to settle the crowd down, holding his hands out in front and gradually bringing them down, a gesture to hopefully mitigate all the noise.

“guys, guys, hey, c’mon now, we’re not gonna make her feel bad now, right?”

“but she won’t do it for us!”

“yeah, like, look at her!”

“she’s a wimp!”

“guys! what did i say?”

but it was too late to change anything now.

“i-i’m sorry…” i choked out before i ran out of the room, the tears already stinging my eyes.

i could very faintly hear henry yelling “allie! wait! come back!”

but i’d already gotten to the front door, running out of it and finding a place to sit down at the far end of our porch.

i buried my face in my hands and began to cry.

i felt absolutely awful.

but what was probably even worse was that outside, it was freezing cold.

at least it was quiet.

suddenly i heard the front door open, and felt someone sit beside me, placing a gentle hand on my back.

“allie, what happened? why’d you run out like that?”

i sniffled, “i don’t wanna talk about it. they were making fun of me.”

“making fun of you?” his voice expressed nothing but concern, i could even hear it crack a bit.

i nodded, crying softly.

“aw, alliecat, c’mere,” i felt a warm sweater wrap around me and hold me tight.

“here, i’ll get henry for you and distract those other kids while you do your handstand for him. just for him.” his voice softened even more. “alright?”

i sniffled but nodded, looking up at him with teary eyes.

he smiled back down and swiped my nose with his finger. “atta girl,” he chuckled. “i’ll get henry, there’s plenty of grass here, you got this, champ.” he rubbed the top of my head again before he set me aside, getting up and going back inside.

my eyes followed him back in, and through the window i could see a perfect view of the bonus room. henry was getting toppled by the kids again, and he looked absolutely miserable. percy went running in, pulling kids off of him. i could very faintly hear him say, “alright, let’s give my poor brother a break from all your chaos for right now.”

i could then hear a collective “aww,” coming out of them.

“but! you get to beat up on me instead! how’s that sound you lot?”

suddenly there was loud cheers, percy saying an emphatic “alright!” through the cheers.

henry immediately got up and limped off to the side, shaking his head in bewilderment before putting his hands together and mouthing “thank you,” to percy, who flashed him a smile and a thumbs up in return.

percy must have told him prior that i had run outside and that he was going to check on me, and now he was telling henry that it was his turn to check on me.

before i knew it, i could hear the front door open again, and i saw henry come out. he sighed softly and muttered to himself, “phew, never thought i’d ever get away from those psychos.”

then he glanced over to the side of the porch i wasn’t on, before glancing in my direction. “ah, there you are,” i saw him point in my direction, smiling a bit.

he ran over and slid down beside me. “those kids scare both of us, don’t they?”

i nodded, shivering slightly. the cold was now starting to get to me.

“i’m sorry,” i whispered. “i wanted.. i wanted to show you my… my handstand but…” suddenly i broke out into an onslaught of tears all over again.

“no,” i heard him whisper, taking my hands in his and lifting me into his lap, “i’m sorry. i should’ve been paying more attention to you but… your friends wouldn’t leave me alone.”

“it’s okay,” i smiled slightly before it faded once more. “but… it’s also okay if you don’t want to see my, uh, my, um… i mean… it’s not very good…”

“no, no, i’m intrigued, let me see it.”

i shook my head.

“c’mon, alls, pretty please? just for me? just for your lame old brother? who can’t even do a handstand himself?”

i giggled a bit at this. “but… i’m not very good.”

“percy says you’re really good at it… and he usually doesn’t lie to me… i make sure of it.” he chuckled slightly. “now, c’mon, before we freeze to death, it’s getting cold and i’d like to head back in soon.”

i sighed. “okay, okay.” then i looked into his eyes sincerely, remembering something. “it’s okay if you laugh, too.”

“i won’t laugh, i promise. if you fall down, maybe, but you know i can’t help it. you do too, i know this.”

i frowned slightly.

“i’ll try not to,” he dropped his voice down, rubbing the back of my neck a bit.

i smiled. “okay.”

he clasped his hands together, before rubbing them in anticipation, “okay, c’mon, show me. i’m anxiously waiting.” he waved me off in the direction of the front yard.

so i went down the steps and into the yard.

and i tried to do one, but, i couldn’t quite stick it, and ended up falling down.

i felt my face turn red.

“i’m sorry,” i called to him, starting to walk back up to him.

“no, no, it’s okay, try again!” he waved me back to the yard.

the one thing i noticed was that he didn’t laugh.

so that made me feel a bit better.

so i tried again.

and again.

and another time.

and on the fifth try, i finally got my handstand to stick perfectly, like it did with percy.

suddenly i felt myself being lifted by the legs, spun around a bit before being flipped right side up and caught in an arm.

“bravooo!! that was all you? wowwwzzaaaa.” i felt my stomach being tickled by a few fingers. “clever girl.” he was bouncing me up and down now, and i was shrieking with laughter.

“seriously, bravo. that was incredible.” we were both inside now, the kids still playing in the bonus room with percy.

the way henry carried me reminded me of how a fun uncle would carry me, in the most irregular, not normal way possible. i liked that a lot.

“here, they’re gonna be a while playing tug of war or whatever, i wanna show you something really fast.” henry took me away from the living room and carried me upstairs, into his room.

i never got to see his room that much. mostly percy’s, because he’d sometimes invite me in case i had a nightmare. naturally, henry’s room always tended to be a bit messier, but that’s just how he liked it, i guess.

“so…” i coughed a little, half from the cold, half from the way henry was holding me. “did you… like my handstand?”

henry adjusted me so i was being held the proper way. “course i did, you kidding? that was freaking brilliant stuff. brilliant brilliant stuff.” he smiled and squeezed me a bit. “so proud of you, lil’ sis.”

i giggled at this as he set me down on his bed. “excuse the mess,” he rolled his eyes playfully as he sorted through a dresser full of old photos, taking a few out that his fingers stumbled across.

one of the pictures he showed me was of him holding what looked to be a one-year-old baby upside down, on the floor, with her hands touching it and their feet dangling in the air. “guess who taught you how to do a handstand?” he pointed to himself, beaming proudly.

“that was me?” i pointed at the baby.

“in the flesh.” he rubbed the top of my head. “you were always a hand-standing kiddo. we knew you had it in you.”

once again, i giggled at this. both my brothers knew how to put a smile on my face, always, and all the time.

when i ran back downstairs and i found percy getting out all the presents for me, i eagerly told him.

“yeahh, way to go, kid! i knew you could do it!” percy bent down to me slightly and showed his hand so i could give him a high five.

he then followed it up with another playful head rub and a bit of a side squeeze.

“can you do a handstand?” i asked.

“ha,” he scoffed, “i can try, but i can’t say i’m any good.”

“but you’re a gym teacher,” i laughed.

“yeah, a gym teacher who can’t do a freaking handstand.” he was laughing at his own self-deprecation. “anyway, i’ve got presents out for you, why don’t you start with the smallest one and make your way up to the biggest?”

all the kids had run back in afterwards, sitting down right beside me and watching eagerly as i opened up each individually-wrapped gift.

i couldn’t wait to play with all of them, but i knew that it had to wait until the next day, since it was getting late.

all the parents had arrived to pick up my friends, and so i waved and said goodbye to them.

i was greeted with a chorus of “bye allie! happy birthday!”

you had to admit, as chaotic as little kids were, they were obedient when prompted.

i watched as henry and percy gave each other a high five, both breathing a sigh of relief. “we did it.”

“phew!”

“glad we got that out of the way.”

“birthday party, done and done.”

i quickly ran up to them, taking each of their hands in one of mine. “i wanna play allie ball. can we? please?”

i knew that it was a game that they made up where they took turns throwing me to each other and catching me, as if i was some giant football. it was meant to be played outside, but it was fun for me as i got thrown around like a sack of potatoes.

“allie, it’s getting late…”

“aw, c’mon lad, it’s her birthday…”

“alright, fine, grab your jacket though, it’s freezing out and i don’t want you catching a cold on your birthday. you hear?” henry waggled a finger in my direction.

i giggled, “i hear.”

“good girl.” he smiled down at me.

so we went outside, and henry was first to throw me to percy. then right after percy caught me, after putting up with my deafening squeals and shrieks of delight, he’d throw me back to henry.

“this is the best birthday ever!” i screamed in the air, which earned a laugh from both my brothers.

then it was percy’s turn to throw me. this particular throw, though, he’d thrown me a bit higher than he normally threw, and a bit higher than i was used to.

“percy, wait, no, i’m too high! that’s too high!” i shrieked as i flailed myself in the air, right before landing into henry’s arms.

“woah, you alright there sun?”

i was shaking and trembling with pure fright. that was a bit too high up for my comfort zone.

“that was a a bit silly of him, wasn’t it? shame on him, he should know better,” henry chuckled slightly, scratching the top of my head a bit.

i started to sniffle a bit, “that.. he threw me.. it was too… high… up…” i was flat out sobbing now. i was still a bit fearful of heights. i clutched onto henry with all my might.

“i’m sorry, i’m sorry!” percy came running over frantically. “you okay sis?” i felt his hand run along the back of my head, on top of henry’s. “aw, i’m sorry. i’m… i’m sorry… here, want me to hold you?”

i shook my head, holding onto henry for dear life.

i didn’t like that game anymore. i really didn’t.

“way to go, way to screw up this time, yeah?” i heard henry mumble to percy.

“hey, i said i was sorry, okay? geezusss!”

i quickly took a glance at percy, and from what i could see through my blurry, tear-stained vision, he had the utmost hurt look on his face, his eyes never leaving mine.

“i’m sorry,” he kept mouthing, hoping to catch my attention.

every time i trembled slightly, i felt henry’s hand run along my back.

“great, now allie’s gonna have nightmares all night, thanks to you.”

“i’ll… i’ll try not to…” now i was starting to feel bad for percy. i know henry liked to pick on him, that’s just what brothers did, but still… i felt sorry for percy.

so i tugged on henry’s shirt.

“i want percy to hold me now.”

henry looked down at me a bit confusedly.

“oh, really?”

i nodded.

he chuckled, “alright, off ya go.”

i felt myself being passed off to percy, who held me a bit tighter than henry, making me cough a bit.

“hi, you,” he smiled down at me as he ran a hand along the back of my head, carrying me with his other arm.

“i’m sorry i cried,” i whispered to him, leaning my head against his chest. “i was just scared.”

“i know you were. and i’m sorry i threw you so high. i didn’t mean to, honest to god.”

i was beginning to get tired at that point. it was getting late, after all.

so when we got inside, percy let me down on the floor as i took off my jacket and hung it up, right before running upstairs to my bedroom on the third floor.

“wait, allie, don’t you want us to tuck you in?” percy shouted up to me, him and henry following me up.

they found me already tucked into bed, clutching one of my stuffed animals that i’d received for my birthday.

i shook my head, smiling. “i wanna tuck in myself now. i wanna be a big girl now.”

they both had fond, sweet smiles instantly plastered on their faces as soon as i said that.

“aw, alls, you’ll always be our baby sis.”

“yeah, you’re not ready to grow up yet.”

“well, we don’t really want you to grow up.”

“don’t rush it kid. not yet, anyway.”

“you have all the time in the world to grow up, you can start whenever you want.”

“but just not now.” i felt someone rub the back of my head. “alright?”

i nodded slowly, yawning.

“i hear ya,” henry chuckled. “sweet dreams, birthday girl.”

“yeah, sweet dreams. we love you.” i felt my hand being squeezed, once by henry, and once (a bit longer) by percy.

i knew i was in the safest of hands when they babysat me for the night.

[xaviernottheprofessor]

Check-in With: Dr. Alejandro Reyes Date: Thursday, 2/22/24 A/N: Xavier has a check-in with his therapist after weeks of not being ale to. Mentions of: @thomas-meier, @juniwilson, @aldrichpalermo, @fletchervanhall

“So, you are looking well!” Dr.  Reyes offered Xavier a friendly but professional smile. He was happy to see him as their last check-in was weeks ago. Both their schedules didn’t align but Xavier had promised to send an e-mail or text if there was anything bothering him.

“Thank you, Dr. Reyes. I feel well.” Xavier sat back into his chair, looking into his computer screen. The Zoom sessions were easier to manage for now until things settled.

“And your mom is in remission! That must have been a joyous occasion. Tell me about that.”

Xavier smiled, clearing his throat a bit and unable to resist reminiscing on his trip to London that took place recently. “Well, going back home was lovely as always. Seeing dad, mum, Clayton, the kids. It felt right. They’re due back to visit soon. At least mum and dad. Clayton thinks he’ll make a trip too if work allows it.  Mum looks amazing. She keeps showing me how thick her hair fuzz is getting. It makes her happy. She will always claim she is so vain. Can’t fight her on that!” He laughed and shook his head. “But she’s happy. Overjoyed and relieved that she’s fought this thing.”

Dr. Reyes nodded, eyeing the pink bracelet on Xavier’s wrist. “I see you’re still repping those colors.”

“She defeated breast cancer. I’ll rock the pink forever.” Xavier bit his lip. “I’m glad we all get more time with her.”

“I am too. And I know It was touch and go for a bit. She has an amazing support system. You spent quite some time there over the summer, after your breakup. Is it tough having to come back after so long?”

Xavier took a deep breath. “Look, London isn’t home anymore for me. I love everything about it and the people there, but I could never stay for too long. Traveling back and forth and staying for longer periods of time was good for all of us. I got to help my mum and get my mind off things. I’ve got the kids now and their schooling and the adoption process is my priority. Especially knowing mum is doing so much better.”

Dr. Reyes tapped his portfolio. “And the anxiety of being away from home?”

“Home is here. The states. I still suffer from being overly concerned as Clayton would say but it does help knowing mum has defeated …it. You know.”

“I do know. The C word.” The therapist smiled at Xavier. “I’m happy to hear that you’re managing the traveling and prioritizing. And how’s the adoption process going?”

“So far so good. We finished the home visit a few days ago. I told Winter what my plans were, and she was well, incredulous at first. It was quite devastating listening to how hurt she sounded. She felt as if I were only looking forward to adopting Henry and she’d be back in the system somehow.” Xavier turned the ring on his finger. “She is turning 16 today. Woke her up with balloons and birthday pancakes. I rearranged my schedule so I can be here.  I plan to focus more on domestic work and less on traveling. But that’s more soon. I want to be around more for them.”

Dr. Reyes nodded, “And with your career taking off and with your projects taking a shift in location, I feel like that is attainable.”

“It is. Yeah.” Xavier paused and then added, “She told me today she’s never had a birthday.”

“Winter did?”

“Yeah. She said she’s never had a celebration. Never had a cake. Henry has had a few. Some Chuckie Cheese events but never anything meaningful. Imaging 16 years no birthday celebration.” He frowned. “I’m glad she’s getting this party.”

Dr. Reyes pressed his lips together into a line, taking in what Xavier has told him. “She’s been in the system for too long. Both of them. I’m proud and glad that you’re ending that. It’s tough being a parent in this world. Add a strenuous schedule and having to do it alone…I imagine it’s a lot.”

“Mostly because I didn’t think it’d be permanent. I wanted to foster kids that were in danger of aging out, to be the buffer between that and the system. But I fell in love with those kids. But yeah, I don’t know how my friends do it sometimes though I’m very fortunate to have friends that teach me plenty. And my kids are older, so I must cast a wider net when it comes to parental advise.” He chuckled. “It helps to have a middle school teacher, a father to a twenty-something and a single dad to a tween in the mix.”

Dr. Reyes chuckled, “And now you can give advice too. Something tells me you’d be very good at it.”

“I can’t pretend to know everything! But I can certainly try. I’ve got a few friends with little itty bitty bebs. Just born too. Parenthood is everything, isn’t it?”

Dr. Reyes nodded and picked up his framed photo of a graduate and displayed it on the screen. “And expensive. But yes, it’s quite the privilege.”

Xavier leaned in to check out the photo and then smiled. “He’s gotten so big! High school graduate, how did that happen so quickly?”

“Those were the graduating photos. Graduation is in May. I can’t believe it myself. Soon, it’ll be Winter’s turn.”

“Don’t remind me.” Xavier groaned but then let out a content laugh.

“You’re doing an amazing job. And now you’ve got the Oscar’s lined up. Booked and busy. I think that also helps with everything, right?”

Xavier nodded in response, “It does. I don’t have to worry about overthinking. I’ve been ignoring a lot of the gossip train though.”

“I see. Why’s that?”

“Trash television likes to throw me under the bus after what happened last year with Jeremy. They think I’m going to mess up. That’s what my assistant, Eliza tells me. DJ has been amazing about helping me make statements here and there.”

“Hopefully, Jeremy is off doing his own thing and staying out of your life. He’s done enough.” Dr. Reyes was usually objective and unbiased, but Xavier’s old relationship was a big part of their conversations this time last year. The culmination of that was a sadness he knew his patient struggled with for months. Seeing him so happy and put together made his job worthwhile.

“He is. Or so it seems. I haven’t heard from him at all. I’d like to keep it that way and any upcoming interviews he has for his show, I’d rather skip them for now along with the Oscar’s coverage. I have a good thing going. Ruth E. Carter has asked to be my stylist and I couldn’t be more thrilled.”

“Ruth E. Carter? Black Panther Ruth E. Carter? Get out, Xavier! That’s phenomenal! Oh, you’re going to look amazing! I’ve got to tell my husband about this!” Dr. Reyes made a note on his notepad with a smile on his face.

“Yes, sir. That would be her.” Xavier smiled, proud of himself and the direction his career was going.  

“Incredible. You’re making great strides and doing well in your personal and familial life as well as with your career. I think it’s a good idea to stay away from the gossip train until the smoke clears about Jeremey’s career. From what I remember, he’s known to say things that are out of bounds, so I feel like your approach is the mature approach. He could try to phish a response from you, and we don’t want that. Just remember that you’re only human and if you do fall into trap, it’s not your fault. I know that you have a couple of things going on right now and while they’re all positive, I do worry about you putting too much on your plate and then everything else sort of bubbling over so don’t forget to do things for yourself too. A movie night, a concert. Have you considered going back to the dating apps?”

Xavier snorted, “No. Not doing that again. I dated Thomas’ friend for a month before I realized I wasn’t ready and then the apps, even just for fun, were not fun.”

Dr. Reyes smiled, “Understood. So perhaps you’re looking for something a little more serious?”

“Yes. Well, with the right person. It’s not like I’m out there trying to fall in love at first sight or whatever but...” He chuckled and then paused for a few seconds.

Dr. Reyes arched a brow. “…but?”

“I’ve met someone. Everything is quite new. I enjoy him. Enjoy his company. Plenty. So much that I look forward to every encounter anyway I can have it. I wouldn’t call it infatuation. God, I hope not. It’s like a deep desire to know him better. It’s been a long time since I’ve felt that. And in such a short time, he’s managed to help me feel different, unchartered emotions?”

Dr. Reyes nodded once more. “Hmm. Sounds exciting. I wouldn’t call it infatuation either. Perhaps, smitten?” He grinned.

“Definitely that.” Xavier tapped his fingertips along the side of his arm rest. “I don’t want to blow it. It’s a nice feeling. Feeling wanted and having a connection with someone …you know, in the romantic variety. God, I sound really incohesive, do I not?”

“A tad but I belive it comes with the territory. Catch me making any sense talking about my husband way back when.” He laughed.

Xavier laughed as well. “Well, it’s all brand new. Nothing too scary or resplendent.”

“Resplendent. SAT word. I think you’re trying to tell me it’s not something, but it may be and you’re scared and that’s okay. Listen, Xavier just go with it and have fun and enjoy those unchartered emotions because the fact of the matter is you’re young and brilliant and if it’s not meant to be with this person then you’ve already conquered those feelings and can use them in the future or recognize them better.”

“Not trying to sound sophomoric but, how do I know I have feelings for someone?” Xavier chuckled and ran a hand over his face.

“The temperature of your skin right now is burning. I can tell. And your demeanor is well, off. In a good way. Giddy and funny, even. It’s endearing and you know the answer to your own question. Not sophomoric. Just brand new. And deserving. You’e doing great but I fear our time is running out and you have a party to prepare for.”

“Hah. Yes, to all of that. I do. Thank you, Dr. Reyes.”

“Young man, just be yourself. Anyone will adore that. And have fun with Winter and I will speak to you in two weeks before the Oscar’s unless you need me otherwise. Stay away from the gossip train.” He waved and Xavier did too before leaving the conversation.

Xavier took a deep breath and gripped the arm rests of his chair, standing up to his full height. “Alright, let’s get this party started. Quite literally. Henry! Where’s the princess of the party?!”

“Don’t call me that, dad! I am stressed out enough as it is!” Winter yelled out from down the hall. “God, I don’t know what I would do without Aldrich and Juni. I think I might faint. Do you thinking fainting is too overdramatic?”

“You’re so dramatic, Winter. It’s on brand for you!” Henry chimed in.

“Says you Mr. Meltdown if you find a single mushroom in your salad!” Winter continued yelling.

“I beg your pardon! I don’t feel like eating slime for food, okay? Can I borrow your phone so I can call Leo? We’re supposed to coordinate outfits!” Henry yelled from his room.

Xavier stood in the hallway and smiled, shaking his head some. “We have about four hours, kids. Let’s get to it.” He stepped over a Pokémon tin and picked it up to bring it to Henry’s bedroom. “And stop leaving your stuff around. Louisa is going to be ultra mad at us.” He continued walking down and stopped when he spotted Winter curling her hair. He leaned against the doorway with a smile, admiring the young woman who would soon be his official daughter.  “Need help with that?”

“Mm hmm.” Winter handed him the curling iron and Xavier stepped in, gathering some hair for the next curl. “You know, before I was a comedian, I was Beyonce’s hair stylist.”

“Shut up, dad!” Winter giggles.

“Why doesn’t anyone ever believe me?!” Xavier feigned his protest and twirled the hair onto the metal. “She was SUCH a diva! But I was her favorite, of course.”

“Daaad! Stop!” Winter continued her giggles and Xavier continued with his fake story. Everything was the way it needed to be.

[whimsicallyenchantedrose]

Christmas Reruns 2023 Day 6: Cold Winter's Light

Merry Christmas if you celebrate it and happy holidays if you don’t!  One of the things I love about Christmas is watching reruns of all the old classic Christmas movies–Christmas is a big time for nostalgia.  A few years ago, I decided to incorporate that tradition into my fandom life and post my CS holiday reruns.  So here you go!  Enough holiday (mostly) fluff to get you to New Year’s Day. (With a new story posting on Christmas Day.)

Rating: G

Word Count: 3080

Other chapters: 1 2 3 4 5 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32

Notes: Today’s story was my 2017 CSSS gift for @treluna2. At the time it was written, it was a future fic about CS and the Charmings celebrating the traditional Enchanted Forest holiday, Winter’s Light. A visitor they were not expecting shows up during one of the worst blizzards Storybrooke had ever seen. Happy Holidays!

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December, 2028

“Have I ever told you the story of your birth, Ava mine?” Killian asked as he sat beside his daughter’s bed on the night before her tenth birthday.

“Daddy!” Ava laughed joyously.  “You tell me that story every year on my birthday.”

“Ah, well you must indulge an old man his sentimentality, little love,” Killian said, the wrinkles beside his eyes crinkling merrily as he smiled adoringly down at the little blonde.  “It was, after all one of the best—and the most terrifying nights of my life.”

“Ok daddy,” Ava conceded, “you can tell the story again.”

“Settle in,” Killian said, tucking the covers securely around his little girl, “and prepare yourself for a thrilling tale.  You were born in the midst of the worst blizzard Storybrooke has ever seen…”

Emma leaned against the doorframe, arms crossed, smiling indulgently at her little family.  Killian certainly knew how to tell a good story.  He also had a flare for dramatics…and a tendency to turn any story into something of a tall tale.  Every time he told the story of their daughter’s birth the blizzard got worse, the snow got higher, the winter wind got colder, the danger became greater, his heroics became more daring.  At this rate, by the time Ava was 30, that particular Winter’s Light would be remembered as a life and death experience for everyone present.

Emma remembered it a little differently, although even the true story was something of a thrilling tale.

~c~s~c~s~c~s~c~s~c~s~

December 2018

Emma collapsed on the sofa, wondering idly if she’d ever be able to get up again.  She felt roughly the size of a beached whale, and getting up from a soft, comfortable couch without help was quite the feat.

She felt a feisty kick, and rubbed her extended belly with a smile.  “I’m so not going to miss you kicking the crap out of me all day every day, kid.”

“The little lass giving you trouble today, Swan?” Killian asked, sitting on the other side of the sofa and massaging her aching feet.

“Not more than usual,” Emma said, “although I’ve been feeling more of those ‘practice’ contractions today than I have in the past.  It’s just that she never stops moving.  And I’m tired.  And my back aches.  And I’m as big as a house.  And I’m just soooooo over this whole pregnancy thing.”

Killian leaned over and kissed her gently.  “It won’t be long now, love.  Your strength and resilience throughout all these months of being with child never ceases to astound me, and I assure you I’ve never found you more beautiful or desirable.”

She shot him a skeptical look.

“Perhaps you’d fancy a proof of just how much I want you still,” he said with a wicked raise of one eyebrow. 

She laughed.  “Tempting, but you know we have to be over at my parents’ farm in twenty minutes for their Winter’s Light party.”

A couple years after they’d defeated the Black Fairy and restored peace to Storybrooke, Snow had suggested, as part of the town’s “living our happy beginning” initiative, that the residents of Storybrooke return to some of their old Enchanted Forest traditions.  The biggest and most beloved, apparently was the holiday called Winter’s Light, which occurred on December 22.

“You see,” Snow explained to Emma, “the winter solstice is on the 21st.  It’s the shortest day of the year, so the 22nd starts the return of the light.”

“So…you have a whole holiday dedicated to it?” Emma asked.

“Yeah,” Snow said, “and it’s the best day of the year!”

“So what exactly does one do on Winter’s Light?  What kind of traditions make it the best day ever?”

Killian smiled, excited as a child.  “There’s a candle lighting ceremony, where all the candles in the house are illuminated (perhaps the custom could be modernized here in the Land Without Magic to include the electric lights you are so fond of).  The youngest child in the household lights the first candle, and then everyone sings carols of the light.”

“And there are the gifts of light, of course,” David said.  “In the evening, family and friends gather together and give each other gifts to thank them for the light they bring into their lives.”

“It really is a heartwarming tradition,” Snow concluded.  “So what do you say, Emma?  Do you think we should revive Winter’s Light?”

“Sounds like a great idea to me!”

And it was.  In the years since the tradition had been restored, Winter’s Light slowly became Emma’s favorite holiday, the day of the year she looked forward to every year.

“I suppose you’re right, love,” Killian said, getting to his feet and offering a hand to his wife.  “Your mother would not thank us for keeping them waiting.”

“No she wouldn’t!” Emma laughed.  “Besides, I think there’s snow in the forecast for tonight.  I’d rather get to the farm before that gets all ramped up.”

It was a bit of a smaller gathering for Winter’s Light this year than in times past.  Ever since Anton’s magic bean farm business got off the ground, a lot of the town opted to go back to the Enchanted Forest for Winter’s Light.  Emma and Killian arrived at the Nolan farm just as the first snowflakes began to fly, and were enthusiastically welcomed by Emma’s parents and little brother, Granny, Leroy and Archie.

“Where are the rest of your dwarf brothers?” Emma asked after receiving a cup of Winter’s Light punch from her mother.

Leroy rolled his eyes.  “Had a bit of a falling out this morning,” he said.  “Seems the others decided I was too ‘grumpy’ to spend the holiday with.  Decided to go back to the Enchanted Forest and leave me here.”

“Whatever would give them that notion?” Killian asked in mock surprise.

“Watch it, pirate!  I’ve got my eyes on you!”

“I’m positively quaking in my boots,” Killian assured.

Emma laughed, playfully shoving Killian in the opposite direction.  “You keep antagonizing him, there may be bloodshed.  The look in his eyes…ooh.”

Emma clutched at her belly.

“Swan!  Are you well, love?” Killian asked, moving her gently to the sofa.

She waved him off, breathing deeply.  “It’s fine, babe.  Don’t worry about it.  Just a little contraction.”

“Shall I call Whale?” he asked.  “You’ve been getting your pains more and more frequently all day.”

“No, no, don’t bother him,” Emma said.  “It’s passing now.  Besides, I’m not due for another week.  If I take it easy, I should be fine.”

Killian looked at her skeptically for another moment, before nodding, still looking as though he was not entirely convinced of her statements.

The festivities were well under way when the small group got their first inklings that they might be in trouble.  Not only had the snow picked up, but so had the wind.  Emma glanced out the window to see nothing but unrelenting white.  “Wow, it’s really coming down out there,” she said.  “I can’t see two feet past your porchlight, Dad.  You think one of us should go on patrol to make sure everyone’s weathering the storm alright?”

“Well if one of us does, it’s not going to be you, honey,” David said, giving her a concerned look.  “You’re in no condition to work this close to your due date.  Killian told me you’ve been having contractions all day.  Maybe instead of patrolling the town, we ought to try to get you to the hospital.”

“Killian is an over-protective mother hen,” Emma said.  “He’d have wrapped me in bubble wrap and confined me to bed for the entire pregnancy if he could have.  I’m fine Dad.  There’s nothing to be concerned ab….ooof!”

This time the contraction hit her so hard and fast she doubled over, panting.  She hadn’t remembered pre-labor pains being quite this intense when she had Henry.  Maybe…maybe her husband and her dad had a point.

“Emma!” David shouted, grabbing her arm to keep her upright just as Emma felt a gush of water flow from her.  Okay, they definitely had a point.  If her freaking water had just broken it was time to get to the hospital.  ASAP.

David settled Emma onto the couch, propping up her feet, and then went off in search of Killian.  There was suddenly a whirlwind of activity in the old farm house, as everyone prepared to move the party to the hospital waiting room.

Granny packed away the food and put it in the refrigerator.  Snow grabbed Emma’s spare overnight bag that she’d packed for the hospital.  (Emma had been prepared for any eventuality, packing an overnight back at home and another at her parents’).  David and Killian rushed outside to scrape off the truck and get it ready for maternity transport.  Archie sat with Emma, coaching her through breathing exercises.  

And Leroy ran through the house shouting “The baby!  She’s COMING!!!!!!”

“Hey, can you grab my phone?” Emma asked Archie, panting through the pain of another contraction.  “Need to give Whale the heads up.”

Archie complied, but when Emma turned the phone on…nothing happened.

“Must be the storm,” Granny said.  “Must have knocked out cell service.  I guess we’re just lucky that the electricity hasn’t gone out yet.”

The room was suddenly plunged into darkness.

Leroy glared at Granny.  “You just had to open your big mouth, didn’t you?”

“Don’t panic!” Snow said, making her way into the living room, an arm full of candles and matches in tow.  “It’s Winter’s Light, remember!  I’ve got enough candles to light up this house like the fourth of July.”

“Doesn’t matter anyway,” Emma panted, clutching her middle.  “We’ll be off to the hospital any minute anyway.”

Emma heard the front door open, and then her dad and her husband trudged in looking sober.  “I don’t think any of us are going anywhere tonight,” David said, as Killian began pacing.  “We’ve got a full-blown blizzard going on out there.  Killian and I nearly got lost just going from the front door to the truck.  We try to make our way to town, we just get stranded and risk freezing to death.”

Emma felt a weight in the pit of her stomach that had nothing to do with the contractions that were suddenly coming faster and with more intensity.  “Are you telling me I’m going to have to have this baby here?  Without a doctor?  Or an epidural?”

Killian got to his knees beside the couch and took her hand, looking reassuringly into her eyes.  “Swan, I know this isn’t ideal.  I know this isn’t how we hoped this birth would take place, but you can do this!  We, all of us, will help you.”

Another contraction ripped through her, and she had to bite her lip to keep from yelling out.  Still, Killian’s hand was warm and solid in hers.  Her mother was bustling around, preparing a bed in the spare room to be used as the birthing chamber, and Archie was heading to the kitchen, stating his intention to start boiling water.

“Why the hell would we need boiled water?” Granny asked, rolling up her sleeves and preparing to wade into the fray, as it were.

“I don’t know,” Archie said, “but it’s what people always do in movies when someone goes into labor and they’re not near a hospital.”

It was crazy and chaotic, but somehow Emma found it all comforting, even in the midst of her pain and fear.

“Perhaps we’d best hail Whale on the talking phone?” Killian suggested.

David shook his head.  “’Fraid that won’t help us at this point.  If we can’t get out, Whale won’t be able to get in.”

“Besides,” Granny said, helping Emma to her feet and into the spare room, “it’s Winter’s Light.  I guarantee you Whale’s drunk off his ass.  He wouldn’t be any help to us tonight even if it was a balmy seventy-five degrees.”

“So who exactly is going to deliver my baby?” Emma asked, hearing a touch of hysteria in her own voice.

“Well, I’ve never done it before,” Grumpy said, “but I’ve been around when Doc did it.  I could get up in there and see what’s going on if you need me.”

Killian glared.  “You, dwarf will keep your bloody mitts away from my wife’s nether regions.”

“Well maybe if you’d done the same we wouldn’t be in this situation right now, would we?” Leroy shot back.

“What I do with my wife within the confines of our bedroom is our business, and I will not discuss it…”

“Alright guys, enough,” Granny said, slashing the air.  “Look, I’m a diner owner, not a midwife, but I’ve assisted a delivery or two.  I’ve got this covered.  Now everyone clear out.  Snow and I will help Emma into something more comfortable, and if we need you, we’ll let you know.”

And thus began the longest and most painful night of Emma’s life.  The pains followed one on top of another, washing over her in waves of agony.  “How the hell did you do this without any pain meds when I was born, mom?”

Snow smoothed a cold cloth over her forehead, crooning soothingly to her.  “It wasn’t easy, but I promise you, you’ll get through this.  It’ll all be over soon, and then you’ll have your brand new baby girl in your arms.  Focus on that.  It’ll make the pain a bit more manageable.”

Finally, as the first rays of the sun began to rise, Emma heard the most beautiful words Granny had ever uttered.  “I see the head!  Won’t be long now.  Just a few more good pushes!”

Good thing too.  Emma didn’t think she’d ever been so exhausted.  “Mom, could you get Killian.  He’ll want to be here for his daughter’s birth.”

“Of course, honey,” Snow said, smoothing Emma’s sweaty hair from her forehead and kissing her gently.  “We’ll be back in just a moment.”

Killian had, of course, been by Emma’s side from the first, coaching her, encouraging her, enduring the way she crushed his hand as her contractions hit, apologizing profusely for the pain he was causing her.

“Would you just stop,” Emma finally said after around the fifteenth agonized apology.  “We both wanted this baby, and we were both there when she was conceived.  You aren’t hurting me any more than I’m hurting myself.”

Finally, sometime around three in the morning, Snow had prevailed upon Killian to go get some sleep.  “You’ll be needed when the baby’s born, Killian.  I promise I’ll find you if anything changes, but for right now there’s nothing more you can do.”

Emma breathed through one more contraction as Killian burst through the door, taking his seat at her bedside.  “Swan!  Your mother says it’s nearly time.”

“Yeah,” Emma said, as she felt another contraction ramp up.  “I don’t know if I can do this, Killian.  I’m so tired and it hurts so damn much and it just won’t stop.”

“Listen to me darling,” Killian said, looking deeply into her eyes.  “You can do this!  You’re nearly there, love, and you’ve endured the night beautifully.  You’re bloody brilliant, amazing Swan, and there’s nothing you cannot do.  Just a few more pushes.”

“Hold me,” Emma bit out as Granny instructed her to push.

Killian dutifully sat behind her, holding her in his arms, whispering encouragement and praise.  Despite the pain and exhaustion, Emma felt herself relax and focus.  Killian seemed to be pouring his own strength into her, giving her exactly what she needed.

He always knew how to give her exactly what she needed.  From the first day they’d met.  He was her strength, her anchor, her true love and her joy.  Emma felt the tears gather in her eyes, overwhelmed with the emotion of the moment.  She was about to give birth to a baby who was so very wanted, so very loved, and she was going through the whole process with her husband and her parents at her side.  It was something the lost girl had never before thought she’d have.

Finally, with one last push, Ava made her way into the world.  As soon as her airways had been cleared, she let out a strong, outraged cry, as though displeased to suddenly find herself in this bright, cold, open world. Emma smiled in wonder as the lights flickered and then came back on just as Ava finished her cry.

“Swan,” Killian said in wonder, “it would appear our daughter, the product of our true love, has magic just as strong as her mum’s.”

Emma chuckled tiredly.  “Seems that way, babe.”

After a moment of waiting, Emma collapsed back against Killian as Granny finished bathing the baby and wrapped her securely in a blanket.

“Well,” Emma asked.  “Is she okay, Granny?”

Granny turned around and passed the tiny pink bundle into her mother’s waiting arms.  “She’s more than okay,” Granny said, the emotion evident in her voice.  “She’s perfect.  Absolutely perfect.  Congratulations mom and dad!”

Half an hour later, after Emma and the room had been set to rights and Emma had been tucked comfortably into the spare room bed, she lay within the circle of Killian’s arms, tiny Ava Alice held in her arms.

“Are you happy, Killian?” she asked, smiling up at him.

He reached down and ran one tiny finger gently across little Ava’s silky cheek.  A single tear made its way down his face.  “Swan, happy doesn’t even approach it, nor overjoyed, nor ecstatic.  Look at the miracle we produced between us.  She’s perfect, a tiny wonder, already the light of my life.  Thank you for the best Winter’s Light gift any man could ever be given.”

Careful not to disturb her daughter’s slumber, Emma leaned up and kissed him gently.  “Thank you for giving her to me.  Killian we’re a family now!  The only thing that could have made this moment better is if Henry could be here with us.”

“And he will be again, Swan,” Killian assured.  “One day he’ll find his own happy ending and return.  We’re a family after all, and we always, always will be.”

NEXT CHAPTER-->

[swampstew]

𝒞𝒶𝓅𝓉𝒶𝒾𝓃 𝒦𝒾𝒹'𝓈 𝐵𝒾𝓇𝓉𝒽𝒹𝒶𝓎 𝒮𝓅𝑒𝒸𝒾𝒶𝓁

Welcome back to Raven’s Reading Nook - Tonight we have a Super Spicy chapter in honor of Kiddo's birthday. This chapter has not been officially published in 'What's the Magic Word?' since it's a future chapter but seeing as it my man's day - we're all gonna get hot and bothered.

Word Count: 3.7K Content Warning: spicy, drinking/drunk sexual encounters with consent heavily implied, established relationship between Eustass Kid X Rowena (OC - AFAB), cunnilingus, fingering, penetrative vaginal sex and anal sex, exhibitionism/filthy picture taking :D

Minors DNI - you will be blocked.

Rowena woke up at the crack of dawn and as gently as she could, extricated herself from Kid’s possessive cuddling to get ready for the day. Killer and a handful of crewmembers met her on the deck before disembarking off ship carrying massive duffel bags and large boxes.

Kid was in a sour mood while he stomped around the ship. He felt like some of the crew was missing, which he didn’t mind so much but the fact that Rowena and Killer were among the missing and had been for hours, annoyed the ever-loving shit out of him. On his birthday of all days. Assholes.

It wasn’t until late afternoon that his Witch, best friend and a horde of pirates came back to the ship, all looking incredibly suspicious of something.

“Where the fuck have you been?” he barked at them.

“Preparing for your party!” Rowena smiled at him.

“Do you not understand what a surprise party means?!” Killer snapped at her.

“But he doesn’t like surprises,” she argued with a cocked eyebrow.

That softened Kid’s edge and he hid his smile, turning to watch the waves lazily slapping against his ship while they debated on whether or not he liked surprises.

“Fuck a surprise party, show me what you’ve been up to.”

The entire crew disembarked and made their way to their future base – Cat even joined them, trotting alongside the Captain. They entered the clearing where Rowena had spent a month terraforming the landscape and Kid was left breathless at the sight.

The ground was completely leveled out and cleared of debris and foliage; she had settled large stone slabs to create a smooth floor foundation, and she had even set up tall stone walls against the mountain to create a giant, partially built entrance. It was embellished with what he assumed was an illusion as the walls had text on them that would blink and reappear – it spelled out:

 ☠️Happy Birthday Captain☠️

The band’s equipment was all set up just off the foundation. Fairy lights were woven around the walls and between barrels. A long table was set up with several glasses, bottles of liquor and barrels of rum framing the wooden table.

Killer, who had been dragging along a cart, uncovered and began to sort an array of Kid’s favorite foods on an empty table, opposite of the drinking table. Heat set down a giant box in the center of Killer’s dishes. Kid uncovered it and there was a gigantic cake with his jolly roger decorated in frosting.

“How the fuck did you pull this off?” Kid wondered aloud to no one in particular.

“Team effort,” Killer shrugged nonchalantly. “This motley crew of losers care about you or something.”

Beaming, Kid ordered everyone to start pouring drinks as he walked around taking it all in. Rowena watched him from the wall she was leaning on with the Massacre Soldier.

“Think he likes it?” she whispered.

“I’ve never seen him this surprised or speechless in the time I’ve known him; since he was this tall,” Killer lowered his hand until it hovered just below his kneecap.

“Aw little guy!” her lavender eyes twinkled.

Drinks were passed around and Kid took his place in the center, raising his glass in the air and the others followed suit.

“22 years alive in this miserable world and I couldn’t ask for a better crew to sail these wicked seas. Drink up fuckers, it’s time to party – next week we conquer!” he emptied his glass as the crew cheered and toasted. He made his way to the wall and pulled Killer into a giant hug, thumping his back excitedly. Killer wished him happy birthday again and then left the couple alone to get another drink.

Kid held out his hand and Rowena took it; he twirled her around, pulling her flush to his chest. She looked at him sweetly, “Happy Birthday Captain Kid,” she purred at him.

He crashed his lips against hers, slipping his tongue inside her mouth and dominating her. She moaned lightly against him and he pushed her up against the wall, sliding his flesh hand to cup her boobs.

Giggling she put a hand on his chest, “we have all night for that. Come on let’s enjoy your party first and then,” she whispered in his ear, making his cheeks flush deeply.

“Holy fuck well when you put it that way,” he grinned at her, giving her a final kiss before they walked to the liquor table and he commanded everyone to take shots.

As the night wore on and the pirates got slammed they all indulged in drinking games and eating every scrap of food until only the cake was left. Cat got the first taste when no one was looking. By the time Heat and Wire went to grab the cake and light the candles, part of the jolly roger had been licked clean to reveal spongey cake underneath. Shrugging to one another, they arranged the candles over the bare spot and moved on with the celebration.

Once the cake had been properly devoured, Kid started a mosh pit on the floor as Wire, Heat, Killer and Gig began playing a punk rock show. At one point Kid got on stage himself and began to sing. Rowena was genuinely surprised that the man could hold a note. She knew that he had the ability to scream and shout for long periods without going hoarse, but to hear him singing was something else entirely.

Kid looked like a genuine rockstar god on the stage with his spiked coat and long locks thrashing as he banged his head to the music. He would switch between singing passionately and then switch to guttural screaming during the more hardcore songs. His deep voice sounded natural against the sharp chords and intense metal music; the Captain could seriously consider a career in music if piracy didn’t work out for him.

Then the final song happened. Kid didn’t take his eyes off the Witch as he put his entire soul into his performance. For the first time since she met him, Rowena felt as if she’d been the one put under a spell. The way his voice flirtatiously sang the evocative lyrics against the sweet musical caresses – a stark contrast from the emo music they had been playing. It was a dark and twisted love ballad. She felt her heart tighten as Kid continued his show.

And after all the sorrow / We'll be riding high And the truth of the matter is / I'll never let you go, let you go

You go down just like Holy Mary / Mary on a, Mary on a cross Your beauty never ever scared me / Mary on a, Mary on a cross

If you choose to run away with me / I will tickle you internally And I see nothing wrong with that

The pirates erupted into cheers as the show came to an end. Rowena raised her glass to her man and blew him a kiss while his bandmates rotated around the stage to continue without the redhead as their front man.

Kid leapt off stage and strolled over to her, taking a drink from one his crew’s hands, bringing it to clink against her glass. Toasting to each other, they tried to link their arms together and drink, which proved to be a problem since Rowena’s arms were hilariously shorter than Kid’s. He threw his head back laughing as she muttered a spell to clean the spilled liquor off herself. He only stopped for the briefest moment to lap up droplets of rum off her chest that she had missed entirely.

Rowena took drink after drink, knowing she would need it to release all the tension in her body for what was to come. Several hours of partying later, the Captain was officially over it and ready to get his dick wet. He practically dragged Rowena back to the ship, panting and petting over her before they even crossed the cabin threshold.

“I know you’re excited but this is one of those nights were we’re going to have to take it a little slower than normal,” she bit her lip, suddenly unsure if Kid was capable of being that gentle with her, especially drunk. Chuckling, he smoothed her hair and kissed her gently.

“It’s not my first time doing this, I’ll be careful with you. I don’t ever want to hurt you, especially with you letting me do this. It’s your first time yeah?” She nodded shyly. “Then I’ll make it the best experience for you.”

Kid started by kissing her neck lovingly, brushing through her hair with organic fingers as his metal arm gently directed her on the bed. Rowena relaxed against him, weaving her arms around his neck as he continued placing kisses on her jaw and face. She caressed Kid’s skin with her fingers, tracing along his muscles and occasionally giving them a squeeze to which he would flex, and she would moan into his mouth, gripping the hard muscles fervently.

It turned out the Supernova was more than capable of being verrrry gentle, at least when it concerned his Witch. He started their affair with soft touches on her body as he explored her vulnerable spots, stroking, pinching, and strobing lightly against her body as he undressed her like he was slowly unwrapping a present. He sucked on her nipples for every throaty moan Rowena let out as his fingers stroked her clit, feeling her body tense as he edged out her orgasm. He moved to slip his fingers inside her core, reveling in the gushing wetness he produced from her and he spread her silkiness down her labia and to her second, tighter entrance.

With a long finger he began to gently rub the outer rim of his Witch’s ass trying to loosen her up a bit. Feeling truly fucking grateful he was the first – and most definitely the last – man to touch and explore her in this way. Truly a gift.

He heard her breath hitch and he lowered his mouth to her sopping core, murmuring out a soft, “It’s ok baby, I’ll take good care of you,” and he plunged his tongue deep inside her, lapping up her juices as her body arced into his mouth.

He let out a chuckle that made her body break out in goosebumps from the sensation. He used his pinky to gently probe the entrance of her ass, her dripping slick lubricating the area, allowing him to slip his finger in to the first knuckle. Rowena let out a gasp of pain mixed with surprised pleasure as he stilled his finger inside her, allowing her to adjust to the new feeling.

Kid’s cock twitched in anticipation but he paced himself, not wanting to overstimulate his woman and ruin the experience for her due to his insatiable hunger.

“Doing ok?” he asked in a gruff voice.

“Yeah, keep going,” she lightly panted.

He grunted and began sliding his pinky further inside her, feeling her tight walls adjust to his digit as he continued fucking her pussy with his heavy tongue. As he began to slowly pump his pinky in and out of her, his mouth began a deadly assault on her clitoris. He flattened his tongue against her bundle of nerves, stroking her with his tongue, letting the tip of his wet muscle apply direct pressure to her clit as she let out choked gasps in response to his ministrations.

His cock throbbed and leaked out precum, staining his briefs as he continued stretching her body out. He added one, then two fingers, plunging them deep into her pussy. Pumping three digits in and out of her holes rapidly, lips pursed around and sucking on her clit as her whimpers became shrill screams of pleasure.

“Oh fuck Kid, how do you always feel so fucking good,” she drawled out in a haze, tears blearing her vision as she felt her body quiver from the pleasure.

Kid chuckled, “I’m good at everything I do.”

He blew cool air against her drenched core and her hips involuntarily jutted upwards, and she let out a hiss as his pinky – still hooked inside her – pulled her back down on the mattress.

Using his metal arm, he carefully pulled his pants off, freeing his cock and settling it against her body. Kid enjoyed the feeling of her slickness soaking his sensitive skin as he rubbed against her core, letting out a throaty grunt of need.

Rowena’s hand snaked in between them and she lightly traced her fingers over his cock; gently pressing his erection more firmly against her as he edged them. They moaned in unison at the delicious feeling of steady friction on their most sensitive parts. She used her thumb to rub his sensitive head and Kid let out a loud, needy moan. Globby pearls of precum began to weep from his tip and leaked on her clitoral hood as a shooting flash of pleasure began to run through her spine to clit.

“Kid I think, I think I’m gonna…”

She could barely choke out the words as Kid sped up rocking his cock against her swollen lips, his tip harshly jutting into her clit. His precum was fully seeping out of him. After a few sharp thrusts, Rowena felt a taut pull in her lower stomach snap as her body contorted against Kid’s cock, releasing a stream of wetness as she let out a breathless screech from the sensation.

Kid gave her a salacious grin as he watched his Witch’s face go through several emotions, his pelvis now drenched from her squirting. He let himself enjoy her body, slipping his cock inside her to feel her heat warm his member as he lazily thrusted inside her while she rode out her high. Her body tightened against his throbbing cock and he grunted in response, wanting to desperately fuck her into oblivion right then and there. She seemed to want the same, her walls tightened immediately against his length in a vice grip as his cock filled her to capacity.

“Fuck, so fucking tight,” he grunted.

“You’re so fucking huge,” she moaned in response, squirming her hips to create more friction.

Kid withdrew his pinky from her body and gripped her waist as he began to mercilessly buck into her pussy. Rowena responded by wrapping her legs around his waist to angle him deeper inside her, to keep him from leaving. The redhead threw his head back and let out a strangled cry as he could feel his orgasm peaking; he knew he had to act quick or he would lose himself before he could really enjoy her.

He allowed himself a few extra pumps, indulging in the sensation of her cunt trying to milk him before he pulled out completely. Before she could protest, he plunged his fingers inside of her to continue drilling her. He curled his fingers upwards, searching for that spongey spot he knew she loved so much.

As his fingers kept her occupied, he lined his aching cock to her tight hole and probed the entrance with his tip. She let out a small hiss and he pulled back. Kid gathered as much of her slick into his hand and lubricated his shaft with it, spreading it down and over her second hole before he stuck his fingers back inside of her pussy. He lined his cock once more and waited until he could hear loud, breathy moans once more before he attempted to breach her hole.

Using all the self-restraint he had left, Kid pushed the head of his cock into Rowena’s ass, stilling once his head was fully inside to let her adjust to the sensation. She had let out a sharp gasp that was quickly overtaken with the sound of needy lust as his fingers kept rubbing inside her, dragging her attention away from the foreign intrusion.

When he heard no other objections, Kid began to push further inside her, being cautious of any noises of pain. She let out none, other than small yelps of surprise mixed with moaning. He took that as permission to keep sliding in as he rolled his hips.

It took several minutes before he fully bottomed out in her asshole and he let out a fierce whisper, “fucking gods. You’re so…gnh…tight…I feel like I can’t breathe,” he rasped, black dots appeared in his vision.

Rowena responded by clenching her body, walls tightening around his fingers and shaft alike and it made them both gasp sharply.

“Oh fuck keep doing that baby. Goddamn I’m so fucking lucky to get to have you like this,” his voice was hoarse.

She tightened her walls again and Kid snapped his head up, searching for her eyes. Lavendar and amber irises found each other and she gave him a lusty smile, obscenely licking her lips and biting down on her full bottom lip; fuck he would do anything to see her make that face every single day.

Kid stretched his body out so he could reach her face and kiss her with ferocity, his fingers working overtime in her core as he sped his thrusting. Rowena let out needy mewls as he ravished her, her brain went dumb as he aroused every part of her until she was sure she would pass out from the overstimulation.

She focused on tightening her walls with every full thrust he gave her body, drawing out more vocalized noises from the Supernova than she had ever heard from him before. He was panting, grunting like an animal as the speed of his thrusting increased; he gave out throaty moans for every squeeze she gave him, a hiss of pleasure for every scrape on his skin and scalp her nails graced him with. And her favorite sound of all – the praising he showered her with as he neared his end.

“You’re doing so good for your first-time princess. You took my monster cock inside you without complaint and you deserve a big fucking reward. I’m going to give you everything,” he moaned into her mouth.

“Is my reward you painting my insides with your cum, babe?” Rowena moaned back as he licked her lips down to her jaw, sucking on her damp flesh.

“Aye but that’s not all. I’ll coat your insides, your outside and much much more after we’re done tonight,” he promised, voice getting gruffer and she could feel his cock stiffening inside her.

He was right at the edge. Using his fingers, he began to rub her g-spot faster, adding his thumb to her clit to make her come again before he could release. He knew exactly how much pressure and speed he needed to apply make her come undone again; her body arched upwards, screaming in carnal pleasure against him while his thrusting became erratic through her pulsating orgasm.

“HOLY SHIT KID PLEASE!!!!”

Tears flowed from her eyes as she squeezed her eyes shut. Her body officially on fire as she came down from her high, finally registered the burning sensation of his cock mercilessly fucking her virgin asshole. Squeezing her walls one final time, Kid let out a mangled roar as he came. He sloppily thrusted a few times, his cum shooting out in ropes deep inside her ass.

Kid was nothing if not a depraved man. Pulling out and while his cock kept pulsing with his release, he stood above her and fisted his length as his cum kept shooting out, landing on her waist, her tits, her jaw and her hair. Rowena watched him with wide eyes as his cock just kept gushing with cum and he gave her a wicked grin. He lowered himself to her pussy, pushing in until his pelvis was flush against hers and she gasped as he thrusted harshly in her, both hands supporting himself upright as he fucked into her.

The last of his cum had spilled out but he pushed through it and kept bucking wildly into her, forcing a final orgasm to wash over him. It didn’t take long as he watched his first load dripping down her body, felt it leaking from her ass as his balls slapped against her throbbing hole. With a final, beast-like roar, he slammed his hips harshly against Rowena and came again.

His cum overfilled Rowena’s core, thick whiteness flowed out of her as she let out a throaty whine while her lover milked himself using her body. With a groan Kid was finally spent and pulled out of her, leaning backwards to admire his work.

Rowena looked completely fucking ruined; her face was flushed red and her chest was heaving from exertion. Her hair was plastered to her head and body and he could see his cum was already drying and cracking in her hair. His seed on her body was dripping down on his sheets; but the best sight of all – her asshole and pussy both oozing with his cum as both loosened holes leaked profusely.

Kid gently stroked her thick thighs as he steadied his breathing, occasionally dipping a finger into his seed and spreading it on her thighs.

“I wish I could take a picture of you like this, I want to remember this moment for the rest of my life,” he crowed, licking his lips in delight at her squirming underneath him.

Rowena gave him a cheeky smile, “there’s a camera in the chest from when we visited Dressrosa,” her eyes twinkled.

Kid shot up and ran to the chest, finding the desired item. He raced back and stood in front of her, putting his eye in the view finder and pressing the shutter. The polaroid flashed and the picture printed. He also grabbed Rowena a towel and helped wipe her off, laying together in bed as the picture developed.

It came out a little dark but it was otherwise perfect. Rowena was reclining backwards, slightly propped on her elbows with one hand squeezing a breast coated in his cum. She was winking at the camera, her tongue licking her upper lip and teeth with an impish look. The flash of the camera made his cum shine against her body, especially as it oozed from her holes. Kid grinned at the photo before tucking it into his nightstand drawer.

“Best birthday ever,” he hummed, hugging Rowena to his body with as much love as he could muster with one arm.

[bloodyknucklesforme]

Don't Blame Me | John 'Soap' MacTavish x F!OC

Chapter 22: Don't Blame Me

Ao3 | Masterpost

It's Nina's birthday

AN: This is the last chapter (minus the angsty alt ending). thank you to everyone who's read along and supported this fic. It really means a lot.

General Tags: Fake Marriage, Eventual Romance, Fluff, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Slow Build, Canon-Typical Violence

Words: 1.9k

“I have no idea what to get her,” John said, hanging the lingerie set back up on the rack. This was the third store. Nina’s birthday was tomorrow. Price was hosting. Dinner and cake. He’d only found out a couple of days earlier when price told him to clear his schedule. He couldn’t deny he was a little hurt that she didn’t tell him it was so close. She talked quite a bit but revealed less information than Ghost did. He was quickly realizing he didn’t really know what she liked to do. She liked hunting but it wasn’t like he could buy her a gun.

“She likes to read,” said Gaz, who had turned his back to him (‘I don’t want to watch you buy underwear for your girlfriend”).

“I’ve bought her a lot of books though,” John sighed as they continued to a different part of the store.

“That’s the thing about people who read, they like having a lot of books.” Gaz dragged his hand along the shelf, not looking at anything in particular.

“What did Price get her?”

“How would I know?” Gaz asked. He knew where John was going with his questions.

“Could you ask him? I just don’t want to get her the same thing,” He defended.

“Yeah obviously. You don’t want to get the same gift as Price and that’s why we’re on the third store, bouta be on the fourth and honestly, we’ll probably hit seven before the day is over.” Gaz put his hand on John’s shoulder and led him out of the store. “You’re thinking too much into it. It doesn’t have to be perfect. You said she’s stuck at Price’s all day, get her something she can do. A Cookbook, some craft or game. You draw, get her a sketchbook or something. You two are obsessed with each other. She’ll love whatever you get her.”

“It’s her first birthday party in fifteen years. It has to be special.” He stood in the last remnants of winter snow and ran a hand through his hair. “I don’t want her to be disappointed.”

“You already ordered her twenty-six different cupcakes, John. How could she be disappointed?” Gaz clapped him on the back, reassuringly. “Stop treating it like you have some crush on her.”

It did feel like a crush. He was head over heels for her and despite the loving stares, the hand-holding, and soft kisses he worried she didn’t feel at the same level.

John’s mind wandered as he and Gaz wandered down the street. He couldn’t give her all the things he wanted to give. He never would be able. She’d spent the night at his flat the other day. She was curled up on his lap, arms interlinked as she covered her hands with her eyes. He kept reminding her that he could change the movie and they didn’t have to watch it if she was scared.

“It’s the good kind of scary,” she laughed.

“Good kind of scary?” He raised an eyebrow. She cursed under her breath as the woman on TV crept further into the creepy basement’s hidden room.

“It’s not real. Plus I would survive this.”

“You would?”

“Yeah, I wouldn’t go down there unless I had a gun or I’d make you go first.”

“She just sent the guy down first and now he’s gone! You’re gonna send me down?” He grabbed her sides and tickled her.

“You’re special forces! He was just some bloke she just met!” She moved her hands to slap him away as she laughed. “Wait… wait… shut up.”

They both stopped to stare at the screen as the woman found the man in the basement. He had to stop her from leaping off the couch when a figure appeared in the background and killed the man.

“Send me down, aye?” He rested his chin on her shoulder and laughed with her as she calmed down. She was clutching his arm. “I’d bring a gun, don’t worry about me.”

He wanted to give her more of those moments. More memories that made up a normal life. He wanted to go back in time and give her the girlhood she wasn’t afforded. An easy life, something simple and sweet like her hot chocolate. Breakfast in bed, kisses before bed, dance parties for two in the living room, movie nights with microwave popcorn, art museum dates where he whispers ‘almost as pretty as you’ as she looks at every piece, the lingering smell of a favorite candle just blown out, a collection of tote bags by the front door, a favorite pair of rain boots, a house with a garden.

She was still sleeping in that cot in Price’s office. She said she didn’t mind but she slept like a baby in his bed. Price was firm in them not moving in together just yet. ‘Let her adjust. Figure out what she wants.’ He didn’t argue. Her anxiety wasn’t getting better in London. She barely left the flat for more than an hour or two. She’d had another panic attack at a particularly busy Waterstones the other week. He’d pulled her over to the reference section to calm her down before taking her home. She got so quiet afterward.

He wanted her to feel safe again, how she did those first two days in the cabin.

He didn’t know if Price told her yet but he and Ghost were getting sent out on a mission three days after her birthday. He wasn’t sure when he would be back. Could be days or weeks or months. Guilt churned in his stomach. He didn’t want to leave her again.

Something to remember him by.

“I know what to get her.” He said, dragging Gaz down the street towards a stationery store.

Walking into Price’s flat, John wasn’t sure what he was more surprised by: Ghost showing up to Nina’s party or that he was playing Go with Nina in the dining room. He stood in the doorway, arms filled with his and Gaz’s gifts, watching the two of them. Ghost, wearing a black balaclava, sat across the round table, staring at the game board. Nina was kneeling on her chair, leaning over the table. He was coaching her, giving a slight headshake as she started to lay down a piece.

“How do I know you’re actually helping me?” She asked, setting a white stone down in a different spot. Ghost was quick to place his own black stone on the board.

“You’ll find out when we finish,” Ghost grunted.

“Move! I need to put these down.” Gaz elbowed him in the back, arms full with a large pastry box. John leaped out of the way so Gaz could make his way to the dining table. Nina and Ghost both looked up at him. Nina grinned and stood. She gave Gaz a quick side hug as he put the box of cupcakes on the table. John quickly put the gifts on a side table.

“John!” She threw herself into his arms.

“Happy Birthday, Neen.” He kissed her cheek.

“Don’t distract her. She has a game to finish.” Ghost beckoned her back over. Nina sighed and rolled her eyes at him.

“He’s upset I’m winning,�� Nina said, There was a rough chuckle from Ghost. She gave him a kiss before pulling away to rejoin the game. John had never played before and it was clear neither had Nina. Ghost was fucking with her, shaking his head or making disapproving sounds as she tried to lay pieces down. She looked up at him. “Keep it up and I’ll stab you again.”

John took a step forward, ready to intervene. Gaz kept switching his glance between them, having gone slack-jawed. Ghost leaned back, an eyebrow raised under his mask. Nina looked at him, ready for a challenge. He hadn’t actually considered there would be any animosity between them. They had seemed to be on good terms when he was guarding her room but that was followed by a six-week healing process from the ribs he broke.

“Just make a move,” Ghost laughed, shaking his head. He waved his hand at her and looked at John.

“You know how to pick’em, eh, Johnny?” He placed a stone down and turned back to Nina. “Your move, love.”

“Gaz! Soap! Kitchen! Now!” Price called from the other room. Price’s commanding tone made them both jump. John gave Nina another quick kiss on the cheek before being dragged out by Gaz.

Price looked domestic. His sleeves were rolled up to his elbows and he was wearing a blue and white striped apron over his clothes. The kitchen smelled like garlic, basil, and fresh bread. A large pot of noodles sat on the stove next to a ceramic dish full of roasted chicken breasts. A loaf of garlic bread sat on a cooling rack on the counter.

“Gaz, set the table. Plates and silverware are on the counter,” Price said, as he washed his hands. “Soap, you got dessert?”

“Yes, Sir.” John stood to attention, straightening up as Price looked at him.

“Good man. Candles are in that drawer.” He motioned. “She beat Ghost yet?”

“She said she was winning,” John said, grabbing the pack of pastel birthday candles.

“She said that last game, too.” Price chuckled softly. He got quiet and looked at John with a sensitivity he hadn’t seen before. “You’re good for her. She’s happy when she’s with you. I not going to lecture you about taking care of her. I know you do. You tell her yet?”

“About leaving? No.” He shifted awkwardly, looking away. “I was gonna tell her tonight actually.”

“On her birthday?” He asked with a raised eyebrow.

“It goes with my gift.” He defended but Price seemed unconvinced.

“Tell Nina and Ghost to finish their game, dinner’s ready.”

“Yes, Sir.”

They’d already cleared the table when he got back. He came behind Nina’s chair and leaned over her shoulder.

“Who won?”

“He did,” she pouted, rolling her eyes.

“Told you I wouldn’t go easy on you,” Ghost shrugged.

“You’ll get him next time.” John pressed another kiss to her cheek before sitting down beside her.

Dinner was good. He kept a hand on the back of her chair the whole time. He’d neglected his pasta to watch her laugh and talk. He wanted to pull a curtain down around them. Lay his hand on the back of her neck and pull her in. Whisper how he loved her. Yes, he did love her. There was no complexity to it. He loved her. He’d loved her this whole time. From the moment she first held his hand under the pillows at a shitty motel. He loved her.

He bit his tongue to stop himself from blurting it out in front of everyone. The words felt like they were bursting from him like a geyser. He laid his hand on her knee and gave her a gentle squeeze. Those brown eyes turned back to him and he smiled, too afraid to say it aloud but hoping he’d get the point across. That she’d look in his eyes and respond in her own way.

She interlocked her arm with his and leaned against his shoulder as she laughed at another one of Ghost’s awful jokes. Her thumb rubbed over his knuckles. They held hands under the table like little kids hiding from all their friends.

She only broke the embrace when Gaz sent his gift down in front of her. A stack of thin packages wrapped up in blue metallic paper.

“To help catch you up on the good stuff,” He laughed, shaking her shoulder playfully. She unwrapped the first gift in the stack of eight. It was a CD. On the cover, a woman sat in the grass with broken computer monitors behind her. “Soap’s music taste is rubbish and Price listens to old man shite. He’s got a good sound system though.”

She stood up and hugged him after opening the rest. John gave him an offended look as he flipped through the CDs. He was the one who first recommended Her’s, the dickhead. Kyle winked at him as he hugged Nina.

“Thank you, Kyle.” She turned to Price. “Can I use your cd player?”

“Course you can, love. Just don’t get me a noise complaint.” He chuckled, looking over the CDs himself.

Ghost’s gift came next. Another surprise from the masked man. Nina opened up the small box he had slid across the table and immediately shot him a grin.

“This is brave.” She pulled out a pocket knife and flicked it open. Looking at the length of the blade, John knew it was illegal. Price sighed and ran a hand over his face as she spun it around.

“If you ask nicely, I’ll teach you how to use it,” His eyes betrayed the smirk that was hidden under the black fabric.

“Sounds like you just want a rematch,” she said, sliding the knife back into the box.

“Maybe.” Ghost chuckled.

“My turn!” Price clapped his hands and stood up. His gift was wrapped in a sparkly white paper and the contents clattered about as he laid in front of her. “Happy Birthday, Nina.”

She used the knife from Ghost to cut the tape and pull the box out. It was a bouquet of flowers made out of Legos.

“They do sets like this now?” She looked amazed as she flipped over the box. “They’re beautiful.”

“I’ll have to take you to the store. They make all sorts of things now.” Price smiled, resting a hand on her shoulder. “You can pick out a vase for them. Keep them in your room.”

“Thank you.” She was smiling wide, looking closely at the pictures and tracing them with her fingers. Price had to lean over the chair to give her a hug.

John suddenly felt very insecure about his gift. He wasn’t good at wrapping and opted for a baby pink bag filled with white tissue paper. She scooted her chair closer to him as she started to dig through the bag.

A small sketchbook, a set of colored pencils, a couple of good pens, and a card.

“Save the card for later,” He whispered in her ear, draping his arm over her shoulders. She gave him a quick smirk and turned back to her gift. She flipped through the blank sketchbook, biting on her lower lip.

“I don’t remember the last time I drew anything.” She looked at him with watery eyes. “I don’t know if I’ll be any good.”

“I can teach you.” He said, rubbing his thumb in a circle on her shoulder.

“I’d like that.” She smiled, blinking away her tears. She leaned her head against his shoulder. “Thank you.”

Twenty-six cupcakes split among five people might have been too much, especially when considering Ghost barely ate in front of people. He’d tried to get a variety of flavors. Chocolate, vanilla, peanut butter, red velvet, coconut, even a bright pink bubblegum one. Vanilla with chocolate frosting ended up being her favorite.

It was nearing ten when Price started pushing them out the door. Ghost was the first to leave, giving a quick nod and a mumble of a ‘happy birthday’ before leaving. Gaz was next, yawning loudly and giving a tight hug to Nina. John knew he was next.

“This was really nice,” She said. He helped her carry her gifts into her room, setting her new CDs in a pile by her stack of books. “Can I open your card now?”

“Oh..yeah. Go ahead.” They sat on the cot together. His hand resting on her knee and her head on his shoulder.

He’d tried to make a card or something more personal. He was never good with words. He admired people who could write long flowy soliloquies. He just wasn’t one of them. He was simple. He’d ended up doodling all over the inside, leaving little illustrations around the edges of the cheesy birthday message.

A key fell into her lap as she opened the card. She looked at him questioningly.

“I hate to miss Valentine’s day but I’m getting deployed again. Not sure how long I’ll be back but I know you like sleeping in my bed. It’s a key to my flat. Anytime you want, you can go over. Spend however much time you want.”

“You’re leaving?” She frowned, staring at the key.

“I’m sorry, Neen.” He kissed her temple. “I’ll call you whenever I can. Ghost is coming too so you have time to improve at Go.”

“I swear he was cheating.” She laughed.

“You’ll have to tell him that to his face.”

“When do you leave?”

“The twelfth.”

“Two days.”

“Yeah.”

“I’ll miss you.” She wrapped her arms around his, her legs draped over his lap.

“I’ll miss you, too.” He wanted to say more. A long declaration of love. He’d read letters soldiers sent home during World War I and always wished he could have been so eloquent. He was simple in his words. A kiss on her lips and a whispered “I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

And he was. As soon as he could end up being three and a half weeks.

He tossed his duffle bag to the floor and kicked the door shut behind him. He was supposed to have gotten back earlier but flight delays and train delays kept him out till after midnight.

His muscles ached. He just wanted to sleep. Did he make his bed before leaving? He didn't remember. He knew he washed his sheets but they might still be sitting in the laundry basket on the floor. Fuck he hoped the bed was made.

He kicked off his boots. A pair of white tennis shoes sat by the door. Far too small for him.

Nina.

He didn't expect her to be here when he got back. He'd avoided texting her in case he was late. He planned on surprising her the next morning. A make-up Valentine’s day.

He looked around and her touch was evident. Her bag and coat sat on a chair in the kitchen. She'd cleaned the kitchen. God, she didn't have to do that. He kept things neat especially before leaving but she got in deep. The stove top was sparkling. He'd make her breakfast tomorrow morning and try not to dirty it again as a thank you. He got red thinking about waking up next to her.

He was quieter now and stripped down to his boxers in the hall. She was still asleep when he crept in. The top of her head was peeking out from under the comforter and blankets. He got in beside her, the bed was warm and the sheets still felt clean. She stirred softly as the bed shifted.

"Hmmmm?" She moaned, frowning and half asleep.

"Just me," He whispered, inching closer so he could wrap an arm around her. “Nina?”

"John?" She murmured.

“Don’t blame me but I think I’m in love with you.” He whispered.

“Iloveyou.” She mumbled, eyelids fluttering as a smile grew on her face.

He chuckled as she quickly passed out again. She was wearing one of his shirts and his pillow smelled like her body wash. He pressed his face against it and lulled himself to sleep.

The next morning he’d say he loved her over coffee and hot chocolate and he’d say it again as they walked around the art museum and over lunch and when they made it back to his flat in the late afternoon and then again when they were sweaty and panting in bed and when they took a shower together and ate dinner and one last time when before they fell asleep again. He’d say over and over. As often as he could till the words felt engraved on his lips.

And she’d say it back every time.

Tag List: @yeyinde @queen-ilmaree @yearningforsappho @mykneeshurt @gogh-with-the-flow @coolmaybelateruniverse @so-scarlett--it-maroon

[flowerismi]

Experience, Chapter 29

I've been so angry and sad the past hour, so now I'll continue to write something that makes me happy...

As time passed, the day turned to evening. Itachi and Naruto helped each other turn on the grill. The smell of the food on it filled the outside area of Sasuke's garden. They had all gathered outside, sitting in a lounging area that Sasuke had never really used that much himself.

"So... I never really got around to asking, but how do you know Sasuke?"

Suigetsu asked all of sudden, looking at Hinata. Hinata blushed slightly, having been drinking cocktails since arriving, she felt a little tipsy. But still sober enough to act normally.

"Oh, my apo-... I'm uhm, I'm working as Mr. Uchiha's secretary"

Hinata said, stopping herself from apologizing. Suigetsu looked pleasantly surprised at her. A small grin formed on his lips.

"Wauw, can't believe Sasuke didn't mention he finally found a secretary... How long have you been working for him? It can't be more than a couple of weeks right?"

Suigetsu asked, feeling somewhat annoyed that his friend hadn't mentioned it to him. Considering that Suigetsu knew how much Sasuke valued his work. And that finding a secretary for him was a tough job in itself. More than that, why was his secretary here at his birthday party. Sasuke always had his work and private life separated, except for Naruto whom he had known most of his life. So why was this young lady here.

"Uhm... Actually, I think it might be a little over three months now... Though I've been away for almost two months now... Working at the other departments for a short while"

Hinata answered. Feeling a little embarrassed. Sasuke who had been inside filling up his drink finally came outside, and sat down beside Ino.

"Oi! Sasuke! Why have you been keeping secrets from me huh?"

Suigetsu raised his voice at Sasuke. Sasuke a little startled by the sudden accusation looked confused at Suigetsu.

"Wait a minute how old are you? You look very young to be working at such a big company"

Suigetsu continued, shifting his attention back to Hinata. Sasuke who now kinda understood what the topic of the conversation was, felt the calm demeanor that had been filling him inside, begin to slowly drift away, as a sea of agitated rage took its place. Sasuke knew Suigetsu. Suigetsu was not afraid to make inappropriate jokes or comments. Suigetsu did not understand the construct of social togetherness. The idea of what not to say, and what you can say to people. On the contrary, Suigetsu enjoyed making people feel uncomfortable. Pushing their buttons to see how far he could push them. Which had always been somewhat of a problem when Naruto and Suigetsu were both in the same room. Sasuke could ignore Suigetsu, but Naruto had a hard time not getting into fights with Suigetsu. Though everything seemed to have been going great for the two of them today.

"I'm... I'm 22"

Hinata said, her blush becoming more visible. Suigetsu widened his eyes, and the smile on his lips grew. Sasuke knew what was running through Suigetsu's mind. And Sasuke was about to interrupt him. But Naruto was a step ahead of him.

"Hinata Hyuga is a well-respected employee. She has worked four years at Hyper Corporation and is always very hardworking... She earned her place here herself just like everyone else... Not whatever you may be assuming..."

Naruto snapped at Suigetsu. And everyone at the lounge went quiet. It took a moment for Suigetsu to react.

"Man what are you suggesting I was thinking, I just find it fascinating that's all..."

Suigetsu said, seemingly unbothered by Naruto's comment. His smile not leaving his face. Naruto turned away from the group annoyed. Returning to the grill with Itachi. Ino quickly changed the subject away from the awful atmosphere that had emerged from Suigetsu, and Naruto.

"How about a drinking game huh? Or are we too old for that now..."

Ino said, winking at Sasuke. Sasuke rolled his eyes. As the hinting or mention of his age didn't make him feel any better.

"Come on girls, I'm going to make you the cocktails of your life."

Ino said, pulling Hinata up from the lounge, the other women following them. Sasuke gazed after them, as they entered the living room. Something in him wanted to rip the head off both Suigetsu and Naruto. Suigetsu for his very unpleasant assumptions. And Naruto for commenting on it in front of everyone. Making the situation ten times worse. And worst of all, he hadn't been able to see how Hinata reacted to all of it. It made him feel like shit, not being able to make sure at that moment how she was feeling. Maybe she had been forcing a smile on, as she so often would do. But Sasuke could see through that. Her eyes told him exactly what she was hiding behind that smile. He wanted to grab Suigetsu and give him a piece of his mind. But that would be too risky. Sasuke never said anything about Suigetsu's weird behavior. Because Sasuke never cared enough to defend someone who couldn't defend themselves. Someone like Hinata. If Sasuke did, Suigetsu would 100% get the wrong idea. As Suigetsu knew Sasuke well enough. Suigetsu knew Sasuke would only do that if it was someone he was having an intimate relationship with or was planning on having an intimate relationship with. And there would be no stopping him, whether it was the truth or not. Soon everyone would know. Just the thought made Sasuke agitated. Suigetsu was a good friend. But damn, he could also be a pain in the ass.

Sasuke looked over his shoulder. Seeing the women standing inside laughing. He could see a soft smile on Hinata's face.

'Thank god...' Sasuke thought relieved.

"So is she as hard-working as your blond friend claims?..."

Suigetsu couldn't help but ask. With an underlying dirty intent. Sasuke gave a sharp look at him. What was he supposed to answer. 'Yeah she's amazing, btw I haven't been able to enjoy sex without thinking of her since she entered my life...' Sasuke's subconscious said to him. Only a fool wouldn't be able to see how amazing she looked. She had won the genetic lottery. Everything about her was just amazing, and captivating.

"She does her work to perfection, she always pushes herself to perform only the best... I couldn't have asked for a more compatible secretary to myself"

Sasuke said with a serious look on his face. Hoping and begging that Suigetsu and the others would just go with it. Not read into it, and start thinking weird shit. And to Sasuke's surprise, they all just kinda nodded to his serious comment. He breathed out relieved in his mind.

The women came out again as the food was ready. And they all went to sit at the outdoor table. Izumi and Ino pulled Hinata with them, having her sit with them. Which for some reason annoyed Sasuke. 'Wait, why does it annoy me?... This is so fucking ridiculous, stop being such an asshole... She's her own person and can talk to whoever she wants to...' Sasuke yelled at himself. He had promised himself to stop this behavior. It was wrong, and it had to stop. He took a deep breath before sitting down beside Jugo, and Itachi.

Hinata couldn't help gazing over at Sasuke from time to time. He looked so handsome. Just thinking about it made her blush. Maybe it was the alcohol making it additionally hotter. But she felt her whole body heating up. Despite the sun slowly going down. Making the air cooler. So much had gone through her mind the last couple of weeks. Work, the lawsuit, and then when he called her for the first time that night. Just hearing his voice again made her smile. It made her heart feel at ease. Like everything was going to be alright in the end. And he had called again a couple of days later. Just talking. And then at some point, Hinata had gathered enough courage to be the one to call. It was amazing. How she felt so much more confident with him. Yet she also felt more vulnerable than normal. The way he made her feel. The way he made her body react. Without really doing much. She wanted so badly to be with him. But what would that mean for them. What would that include. Or maybe more importantly, what would that exclude.

The sun had gone down completely. And the group had gone inside. Sitting in the living room, talking and enjoying each other's company. Sasuke was up at the kitchen sink, getting some of the leftover champagne, and wine from dinner. He hadn't noticed Hinata getting up to go to the bathroom. But the laughing of the others filled the house. Over the laughter, the doorbell could be heard ringing. Sasuke turned his attention to it.

"Oh, who could that be?"

Naruto asked curiously, feeling a little tipsy.

"Did someone order pizza? Cause I could really need a slice right now..."

Karin asked also looking slightly tipsy. The others started giggling. Sasuke grinned at them, before heading out to the front door. When he opened the door he was surprised to see this woman on the other side. Her long black hair hung down her body. She had a short black dress on. The small straps barely holding it up. Her long smooth legs, and high heels matching her dress.

"Kin..."

Sasuke said softly. He had seen her naked so many times he stopped counting. But something about the alcohol in his body. Made him feel something about her. Her makeup, those lips, and the tempting scent from her. She smiled teasingly at him.

"Well hello, birthday boy... You seem to be having a good time..."

Kin said, hinting over at the many cars in his driveway. Her smile slowly disappeared. She looked up at him. Her eyes were deep.

"Sasuke..."

She said seriously. Trying to avoid his gaze. Sasuke didn't understand what was going on. Something seemed to be on her mind.

"..."

They were both quiet for a moment. Kin opened her mouth to finally speak. But a door behind them opened, and they both turned to look at it. Out stumbled a very tipsy Hinata. She had a smile across her entire face. Her cheeks were hot and red. Her eyes seemed somewhat drowsy. She could see someone by the front door in the corner of her eye. And she turned her head to look who it was.

Her smile disappeared instantly. Her before drowsy eyes widened. Hinata realized immediately who the tall hot woman in the door frame was. And the more she looked at her, the more her confidence suffered. Hinata felt as if this woman was so much more beautiful and mature than her. How could she ever compare to someone like that. Not that it was a competition or anything like that. But seeing that woman standing there, looking so amazing. It made Hinata feel like a child in comparison. She gulped, standing awkwardly in the hallway looking at them.

Sasuke couldn't have pictured a worse time for Hinata to come. Or he could because that had already happened. Back when Kin came walking downstairs half naked. Suggesting a threesome. He cringed at the thought. Sasuke could read Hinata's face like a book. He saw how embarrassed she felt. How her composure fell. And her insecurity took over. He hated seeing her like that.

"Miss Hy-"

Sasuke tried to say but was interrupted by Hinata.

"I'm sorry, please excuse me!"

Hinata outbursted, before bowing slightly and hurrying away, back to the others in the living room. Sasuke sighed agitatedly. Face-palming himself. Kin looked suspiciously up at him.

"Kin, I-"

Sasuke tried to say but was interrupted a second time. This time by Kin as she put her finger over his mouth.

"I have something to say... And I felt it was only appropriate to do in person..."

Kin said seriously. Removing her hand from his face as she finished. Sasuke looked down at her.

"I met someone..."

Kin started by saying.

"I really like him... And even if I promised myself never to settle down... I kinda want to give this a chance... See where things might go..."

Kin continued, she looked deep into Sasuke's eyes. She smiled at him. Sasuke took a moment to understand what was happening. He sighed before answering.

"We never had any commitments... You're free to do as you please..."

Sasuke said apathetically.

"For a second there, I thought you were about to say you were pregnant or something like that... "

Sasuke continued, giving her a small grin. Kin grinned back to him, giggling slightly.

"He must be a very special guy, you never dressed up like that for me..."

Sasuke said teasingly. Kin grabbed Sasuke's shirt pulling him closer to her.

"You're cute... But we would never have worked out"

Kin said, winking to him. Before letting go of his shirt again. They stood in silence for a moment.

"So I guess this is goodbye..."

Sasuke said. Kin nodded. Sasuke let out a sigh. And Kin looked taunting up at him.

"Hey, birthday boy... Maybe you should consider slowing down yourself..."

Kin said out of nowhere. Sasuke looked suspiciously at her.

"... You know I don't do that..."

Sasuke replied. Kin only raised her eyebrows.

"You never know, I mean you're 30 now... It might be time..."

Kin said, smiling at him again. She tried to look over Sasuke's shoulder. Seeing if she could see anyone inside.

"That woman... She's the one from the last time I was here right...?"

Kin said. Not being able to see anything inside. But hinting at Hinata from before. Sasuke's smile disappeared. And Kin quickly took notice of it.

"What about her...?"

Sasuke asked apathetically. Kin looked up at him.

"She seems nice... "

Kin said teasingly to Sasuke. Winking to him. She noticed the annoyance on his face.

"I'm just messing with you..."

Kin giggled. They both stood quiet for a moment again.

"Hey..."

Kin said, putting her hand against Sasuke's cheek.

"You deserve to be happy... Never forget that"

Kin said. She leaned up and kissed Sasuke's other cheek. She stroked his head, smiling at him. Before turning away, leaving him standing alone at the front door.

Sasuke watched her disappear behind the gate to his driveway, seeing her entering a cap. Before driving away. He stood still in the entrance. He couldn't really think. It was probably the last time he saw Kin. But he didn't feel weird about it. And she seemed happy.

To be continued...

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[jeaniethewallflower]

3/22/24 - Goodnight Friend (TW: Suicide)

My friend is dead. Dying didn’t end our friendship, I really don’t know what did. I always blamed them, naturally. We stopped being friends in the eighth grade so it could have been anything. Middle school is a warzone; you lose comrades along the way, but I took this loss personally.

They were my first friend post-Catholic school. I had heard about them at my best friend's birthday party the summer before my transfer. Their friend/neighbor was there and while we sat on the top bunk of a log-based bunk bed looking through the hotel Bible for money (we had heard a rumor- sadly there was no cash, only verses and the occasional note) she looked up to me and told me that her friend was in my grade. I held onto that information like it was vital; my only key to making any friends.

It was in art class that I found them. They were at the table next to mine, the teacher did the attendance and I heard the name. Almost immediately after I slid over to that table and said, a little too loudly, “Are you Natalia’s friend?!” They were so embarrassed but they nodded. They were drawing on their folder (something anime, probably Attack on Titan) and that was so cool to me.

They were probably my best friend in sixth grade. I’ve never thought of it that way until now. We were both sick, life isn’t… wasn’t easy for us past and present. I now know that I’m bipolar, something that would’ve been nice to know when my friend and I clung to each other crying in Mrs. Ngs's classroom. We didn’t make it easy on ourselves though. God, every lunch hour like clockwork my friend would play Car Radio by the Twenty-One Pilots and have everyone sing along, I often sat out.

There was one night, I think it was for their birthday but I could be wrong. No, it was definitely for their birthday because two others were there, it was my first time meeting them but they were also close friends of mine in middle school. We met through this Friend. The night ended with just me and My Friend and at some point they suggested we sleep on the floor and cuddle. I didn’t know what I was doing, I had just turned thirteen, I threw an arm over them, and after a moment of palpable silence, they said, “Myles, dude… you just totally touched my nipple”. For some reason, that night reminds me of pandas.

There was another birthday sleepover, this time my now-best friend was there too. That one was questionable. I don’t remember why. Around this time My Friend started to make bad decisions. Adding random people on Snapchat and meeting up with them, hanging out with sketchy older kids, dating a sophomore. This was in seventh grade, I think this is when things started to end in our friendship. I started to disagree with them, I’d be the only one. We’d fight constantly but we always made up at the end of the day. Seventh grade was fine for us. We were in most classes together and we were in two clubs. We even both applied for an academic achievement school with the other two. I was the only one who didn’t get in.

I stopped getting invited to things that summer. Eighth grade is a blur. I mean I can see it and recall parts of it but it's not a picture. It’s like looking at an impressionist painting. I wasn’t ok. It was the lowest point in my life rivaled only by now. I think part of me blamed My Friend at the time. Petty resentment. The other two tried to play both sides but eventually, we fell off too. Two years straight is still the longest I’ve kept a group of friends in my life. But as those years keep fleeting away I don’t know how much of that I can hold onto without it seeming pathetic. I gave My Friend a bracelet. A stupid beaded thing that said “MEGAN” in big letters. We followed each other on some social media a couple of years back and every so often they would send me a picture of them wearing the bracelet.

The last time I saw them was on their birthday. I was with my best friend and they were with their boyfriend. It was our first time seeing each other face-to-face since we were kids. We still were kids. We stood, staring at each other like deer in headlights. Like it was only us in that entire target for thirty seconds. Then they raised their arm, pointed, and said, “I’m still wearing it” I laughed,

“Holy shit man! You weren’t kidding”

“It’s my birthday”

“Happy birthday” We stood, across the Target. The isles turned to fields. Foggy grassy knolls. It was beautiful. Then I waved and walked away, just like that. Reader, sweet Vouyer of mine, all I wish, all I want is to have hugged them. Something about them being dead has made me crave contact. Maybe it's my brain not connecting the dots, saying “No, no, they aren’t gone. Touch them. They’re there.”

Some sick part of me wonders if they wore the Megan bracelet when they did it. If they killed a piece of me with them. A sicker part of me wants that to be the case. I don’t know if I would feel better if I hadn’t seen them last month. I’m glad I did. I’m glad I got to see them grown up, even if it was just to nineteen.

Friend, I’m sorry you felt the need to leave us so soon. I know you are not alone in exploring life's greatest question and if you can somehow hear me, see me, feel me, I want to thank you. Thank you for helping me adapt from my quiet Catholic upbringing to the chaos that is the American Public School System. I want to thank you for introducing me to shitty fanfiction porn in poor, poor Mr. Greene's classroom. I want to thank you for the best fucking muffin I have ever eaten the morning after our first sleepover. I want to thank you for everything I could never thank you for while you were alive. You were beautiful, determined, kind, smart, an activist, and such a picky eater. Your funeral invitation said that your favorite pizza and cake would be served and I just want to let you know that I am not grateful for the cheese pizza and yellow cake I am about to eat. I feel selfish mourning your loss, you weren’t mine to lose. Friend, you were a gift to the world and will forever continue to be. For me, you’re going to be in every Golden Retriever, every Suicide Awareness post, and every woman named Meghan. I love you, rest well.

[secretlyaphoenix]

Blow out the candles and make a wish

When I was 1 I had a birthday cake in the shape of a Barbie dress. When I was 8 I put stickers on the wall and handmade pink invites. When I was 11 everyone wanted the newest shoes whilst I wanted to find a four leafed clover or a double rainbow. When I was 18 I walked alone in the mountains and had 2 pounds and 8 pence after buying a birthday ice cream cone. When I was 19 I had a party with people who have never been on my contacts list and I didn’t think I’d make it to 20. When I was 20 I was healing whilst the world became sick. Forcing music into the silence, approval from myself and comfort alone. When I was 21 I was amazed I made it past 20 and blinked through the moment I was 21 on the 21st, 21 minutes past the 21st hour. When I was 22 I forgave myself for all the things I didn’t become. Now I’m turning 23 and I’m grateful for all the things I have become. Im not counting the days until I’m not here I’m counting the minutes I’ve lived. I’m living. No longer in a baited breath but a hooray into ocean. Proof that the world hasn’t crumbled outside the bunker. I lost sight of the hole in the horizon. I’m no longer blowing out candles and wishing for reasons to wait until until my next. All I wish everyday is that 4 year old me could see me braiding my hair. 9 year old me could watch dance in the kitchen. 12 year old me could hear me play guitar on a raining Saturday morning. 14 year old me could hold the shoes I took to a dnsce lesson i went to alone. 17 year old me could write list of where to travel next year. 23 year old me? (Quick, make a wish) I wish 70 year old me will be proud that I stopped searching for reasons to live and began living for the reasons that simply made me happy.

[writer-in-theory]

I'm Feeling 22 (Spencer Reid x Reader)

summary: when reader is the only one to remember spencer’s first birthday on the team, they promise a night full of the adventure he didn’t get in college. series summary: a series of oneshots to celebrate the release of red (taylor's version). 19 songs, 19 fics. pairing: spencer reid x gn!reader category: fluff, maybe a tiny hint of angst at the beginning? content warnings: language, alcohol consumption, forgotten birthdays? word count: 3.2k a/n: y’all i love this song so much but this took me forever. i think it’s because i’m gonna turn 22 soon and i’m lowkey having an existential crisis about it. it’s fine, everything's fine. anyway, have some spencer fluff because there are not too many opportunities for that with the red album!!

series masterlist masterlist send me a request!

“Everything will be alright if you keep me next to you..."

Birthdays were something special. It was the one day a year that no one could complain about you celebrating your existence. On your birthday you could stand up and scream at the world because you survived every bit of hurt it tried to throw at you. At least, that was your professional opinion on the matter.

So when you walked onto the BAU floor fully expecting party setup to be underway, you were shocked to find it was business as usual. You even went so far as to furiously pull out your desk calendar to check the date. October...yep, you were right. It was Spencer Reid’s birthday, so why wasn’t anyone freaking out about it? It was even more special today considering it was his first birthday with the team, so shouldn’t there be some kind of celebration of him?

Spencer himself didn’t even seem different today, still slightly hunched over his desk with what you assumed to be his second cup of coffee that morning. His feet were up on his chair and you couldn’t help but wonder how he could possibly sit like that for so long without any of his joints hurting.

No, this was unacceptable and needed to be corrected immediately.

When he’d first been introduced to the team, you thought for sure he’d last a week tops in the field. His meek appearance betrayed him then, making him appear childish and maybe even a little helpless. Spencer had stepped up though and proved you wrong time and time again. He was absolutely brilliant, of course, that was why Gideon had recruited him in the first place. Beyond that though, Spencer was scary good at empathizing with everyone, even the unsubs. He may have been a little awkward with his wording, but he understood people even in their darkest moments, never shying away from those dark scary spots.

Spencer completed the team in a way you’d never expected. Not only was he a true asset in the field, but his personality seemed to compliment everyone else’s. You hadn’t found someone in the expanded BAU team that didn’t get along with him. He was funny, quirky in a way that was completely endearing, and he always went out of his way to make sure the people around him knew how much he cared.

It wasn’t fair that no one was returning his kindness today. If no one else remembered, at least you would. So after setting your things down at your desk and discarding your coat, you walked over and sat on the edge of Spencer’s desk. “Hey, Wonder Boy,” you greeted, smiling as his head snapped up from the book he was reading, his long fingers fixing his glasses from where they’d slipped down his nose.

“Good morning, Y/N.”

“So, what are your fun plans for tonight?” you asked curiously, expecting a smile but instead getting a confused look. He tilted his head a little, nose twitching as he thought about the answer.

“I’ll probably have an early dinner. There’s a couple of books I’ve been meaning to read for a while.”

“What? On your birthday? C’mon, Spencer, why don’t you celebrate tonight?”

Spencer squirmed a little in his seat, shutting the book on his desk and rubbing his fingers together in a self-soothing motion. “I guess I don’t have anyone to celebrate with. I assumed everyone forgot.”

The words nearly broke your heart, seeing the way his eyes glanced around the room at everyone going about their day. It angered you that everyone could so easily forget when Spencer had gone above and beyond for each person here. No one deserved to be so upset on their birthday, least of all Spencer Reid.

“I’m a little hurt, Wonder Boy,” you teased, nudging his arm lightly with your elbow, “I was just thinking about what we could do to celebrate you tonight.”

“Really?” G-d, the things you would do to keep that hopeful look in his eyes forever. “You don’t have to waste your night on me, Y/N, it’s really not a big deal. It’s just another day.” Even you could tell he didn’t believe those words.

“Of course it’s a big deal! You know how important 22 is?”

“It’s the year after turning 21?”

“You’re funny, Spence, hilarious actually,” you shot back. “No, 22 starts the set of years where you’re still young enough to get away with making mistakes, but there’s no responsibility of it being a landmark year. You’re not looking forward to any year in the future or looking back at previous years and wishing you were that young again. It’s just time to live in the present. 22 is the perfect year, Spencer.”

Spencer laughed; the kind that lit up his face and made you think that sound was the cure to any sadness. “I believe you. Then what do you have planned for tonight, Y/N?”

“Do you trust me?”

“Of course I do.” Of course, that’s how he’d answer, so earnest and honest.

“Then you’ll find out tonight.” You stood up then, figuring you should get to work so both of you could leave at a decent time tonight. Before you walked back to your desk though, you looked at Spencer and added softly, “Hey, try not to get too upset about the others. We see so much bad that sometimes it’s easy to forget the good. Everyone really cares about you, Spencer, I hope you know that.”

“I do,” Spencer answered back in the same soft voice, eyes dropping so he didn’t make eye contact with you.

You walked back to your desk hoping that was true.

By the time everyone was packing up their belongings, the insecurity started to creep in. You’d just walked up and demanded he spent his birthday with you; what if he’d actually wanted a quiet night in alone? He absolutely seemed like the type who wouldn’t tell you only because it made you so happy to spend that time with him.

All of your insecurities washed away when Spencer walked up to where you sat at your desk. You’d been waiting for everyone else to leave, secretly hoping that they had a surprise party or something waiting for the kid. When it was just you two on the floor, he’d gathered his stuff and walked over to you, clearly fighting a smile. He looked like someone who knew about their surprise party beforehand and was trying to keep calm about it. In a way, you supposed he was.

“What did you want to do tonight?” Spencer asked as you started gathering your own things, shoving them haphazardly into your bag and making him wince a little at the chaos of it all.

“Well, I thought we could do what you normally do on your birthday,” you suggested. Sometimes one teammate would say something seemingly normal that would elicit a strange reaction from him. You knew from brief mentions that he hadn’t had it easy in school, so you assumed these were leftover reactions from protecting himself for so many years. Still, you hadn’t thought a birthday would cause that reaction now.

“I don’t usually do anything special,” he admitted, head tilting forward so he could stare at his sneakers.

“Then how about we do what I did on my 22nd?” you suggested, trying to picture him doing half of the things you and your old college friends had done back then. You’d been wild and maybe a little stupid, but it had been one of the best nights of your life.

“What did you do?”

“Stayed up all night and went on an adventure,” you laughed, half-expecting Spencer to tell you he’d rather not. Instead, he smiled and nodded.

“I’ll follow your lead.”

Well, now that was interesting.

It wasn’t long before you were parking your car downtown and trying to make your work outfit a little more suitable for a night out on the town. You’d slipped on a pair of jeans from your go-bag, reminding yourself to switch them out in the morning. When you were finished and Spencer still hadn’t moved, you laughed and reached over to help.

“C’mon, we’re losing the sweater vest for the night,” you teased, “although somehow I can imagine you making that a new look at the bar.”

When he’d folded and set the fabric in the backseat with your own discarded articles of clothing, your hands moved up to loosen and remove his tie. They didn’t shake once as you undid the first few buttons of his button-up, though you felt his breath hitch in his chest. Your hands moved over his, reaching up to roll up his sleeves to his elbows.

“Damn, Spencer. I didn’t think it was possible, but the pretty boy just got prettier.” In the light of the street lamps, it was hard to tell but you thought you could just make out a flush to his cheeks. You reached out to ruffle his hair a little, getting it out of the slicked-back look and a little messy. It really wasn’t fair how good he looked like this.

The two of you ended up at a bar neither of you had been in before. It was crowded and hot and full of people around your age drinking and dancing. It wasn’t your scene anymore, but if Spencer wanted to have the 22 experience that you did, then it had to start here.

So you drank. Spencer did too, and eventually, you were hooking your arm around his and showing him how to do to a shot together. Once the alcohol had made your body buzz enough, you stood from your seat and grabbed Spencer’s hand, tugging him out to the middle of the dance floor.

“Y/N, I don’t dance,” Spencer was telling you, eyes looking around at the other people dancing around you. “I’ll look ridiculous.”

“Hey, don’t worry about that, okay? It’s just you and me,” you told him, and eventually he was dancing with you. It was admittedly a little awkward, neither of you completely knowing what to do with your limbs but having a good time anyway. At first, you were nervous he would hate this, and honestly, he looked like he did at the start. Now, though, he was tilting his head back and laughing in such an uninhibited way that you hadn’t ever heard before. You wanted to hear that sound about twelve more times tonight.

The atmosphere of a bar was magical. If anyone actually paid attention to the cleanliness of the building, most people likely wouldn’t be inside. If it were any other building, people wouldn’t say or do half of the things they did inside a bar. Yet, there was something about the music, and the alcohol, and even that grimy ambiance that filled everyone with extra courage and euphoria.

You supposed when Spencer’s hands brushed over your hips that it was because of where you were; because he was standing so close to you now, honeyed eyes so clearly looking at your lips and somehow, you couldn’t imagine him doing any of this in the light of day. Honestly, you hadn’t thought you would either. So maybe it was easier for you to close the distance, to kiss Spencer while dancing in an overcrowded bar filled with the types of people you two tended to avoid.

It was easy for you to press against him, telling yourself that this Spencer with the wild hair and alcohol-flushed cheeks was not the same one you would see sitting at the desk across from you at work tomorrow morning. He seemed to think the same, growing more confident the more you touched him. As he’d said at the beginning of the night, he took your lead. It was only when it got to the point you’d normally invite the other person to go home with you that you broke the moment. Bar magic could only take you so far, of course.

“Are you ready for the next adventure?” you asked, practically yelling over the music.

“What is it?”

“We snuck into a hotel pool,” you laughed.

“What if we get caught?” he asked, betraying only a tiny amount of nervousness.

“You have your badge, right? We’re there on official FBI business.”

“Y/N, we can’t abuse our badges like that,” Spencer chastised you, but he was shaking his head and laughing all the same. He was also guiding you out of the bar, a surefire sign he was going along with the plan.

“Sure we can. That’s what they’re there for,” you laughed easily. Luckily, there were plenty of hotels in the D.C. area and it was easy enough for you to find a perfect one. “C’mon, help me over the fence.”

Sure enough, he tried to carry some of your weight, pushing you up and over the fence so you could unlock the gate for him. Your heart was racing, whether that be from the adrenaline, the buzz of alcohol in your system, or the lingering feeling of Spencer’s lips on your own, you didn’t know.

Sneaking into a hotel pool was a lot different when you were with your college friends. They’d all seen you in just your undergarments plenty of times before, so it hadn’t been a big deal then for you to rip your shirt and pants off and dive straight into the pool. This time, you hesitated, careful as you slipped the shirt over your head not to look directly at Spencer. You didn’t want to know what he was thinking when he saw you.

Luckily he’d gotten the idea, too, because he was also unbuttoning his shirt and discarding it. It wasn’t long before the two of you were in the pool in your underwear and you were reminded of what it was like to be that young and wild. You were glad Spencer was getting to experience it, even if he decided that this sort of thing wasn’t for him.

“Why did you sneak into a hotel pool for your 22nd birthday?” Spencer asked.

“I don’t know.” It was an honest answer, too. Looking back on it, there hadn’t really been a good reason for your group to do that. It had just seemed like a good idea at the time. “Birthdays are for letting loose and having fun with the people you care about most. We just...thought this was the best way to do that, I guess.”

“Was it this cold when you did it?” It was only when Spencer pointed out the obvious that you noticed the goose pimples covering the skin of your arms. His chest—you tried not to think about the fact that you’d now seen Spencer’s bare chest because that was a dangerous line of thought—was also showing signs of being chilled. It made sense; after all, most people probably didn’t go swimming in the middle of the night in October.

“No, it wasn’t,” you laughed, “that just means we get to move onto my favorite part of the night sooner.”

“What’s your favorite part?”

“Breakfast!” you cheered, pulling yourself out of the pool and wincing a little at the scrapes your legs received in doing so.

“Breakfast? It’s midnight, Y/N.”

“Exactly! Waffle House is open 24/7 and there’s never a better time to go than in the middle of the night.” You loved the way he looked at you then; like he was so amused and so endeared by you.

“We’re soaking wet though?”

“That’s okay too,” you answered as you worked on getting dressed again.

It was a short walk to the nearest Waffle House. You told yourself you were holding Spencer’s hand so you didn’t lose him in the midnight crowd. The two of you were shivering a little by the time you got seated into one of the plastic booths, but Spencer’s face had never looked so light and free. You would do this every night if it meant getting to see him so happy and relaxed.

The food was heavenly, but as breakfast came to an end you mourned the loss of the night. “After breakfast, we all went to our separate homes and got some sleep,” you explained, wondering why disappointment settled in your chest at the thought of not spending any more time with Spencer tonight. Maybe it was because, in the morning, everything would go back to the way it was before. You imagined the two of you wouldn’t talk about the kiss, or the almost-skinny dipping in a public pool, or splitting two breakfast plates because neither of you could decide what you wanted.

“There was one time I celebrated my birthday,” Spencer filled the silence then as the two of you made the journey back to your car. After several hours, both of you had sobered up well enough for you to drive back home. You weren’t sure where he was going with this—and it hurt your heart to think he only had one birthday to reflect back on fondly—but you stayed quiet dutifully. “I had a sleepover with a friend.”

Oh, oh. Your head snapped over to look at him, stopping in your tracks and making the people behind you swerve on the sidewalk out of your way. “Spencer Reid, are you asking me to have a sleepover with you?”

It seemed he only then realized what he’d suggested. He adorably got red again, eyes wide and lips parting once, twice, as he tried to come up with what to say. “Only if you want to! I was only thinking that I was having such a good time, and I didn’t want the night to end yet.”

And how could you argue with that? “Sleepover it is then,” you responded.

Spencer’s apartment was almost exactly how you would’ve pictured it. If a space could perfectly embody its occupant, then this apartment did. The best word you could think of to describe it was homey, with dark green walls and several bookshelves taking over the wall space.

The two of you set up a pillow fort in the little living area. Spencer had changed into pajamas and let you borrow a pair of sweatpants and a CalTech t-shirt from him. It was comforting, being wrapped up in things that were his. Eventually, the two of you laid in your pillow fort, wrapped up in blankets to warm yourselves up from the bitter D.C. night.

As you lay there fighting sleep after such an exhilarating night, you heard it. “Thank you for celebrating today with me, Y/N. This was the best birthday I’ve ever had.”

You turned your head, smiling as you just made out his face inches from yours in the dark. There was no telling what tomorrow would be like, or if this would change anything between you two. All you knew was now; laying curled up with Spencer Reid and feeling strangely like you belonged there in his arms.

“I told you there was something special about 22.”

SERIES TAGLIST

@samuel-de-champagne-problems @alexlovescriminalminds @reidsbookclub @givemeth @eurydice-but-gay @fightingdragonswithreid @girloncorneliastreet @silverhetdanes @just-a-human-witha-pen @shemarmooresfedora @rexorangecouny

[what-even-is-thiss]

2nd COVID Birthday

I wrote this literally in the 30 minutes before midnight and edited it in like 5 minutes and I wanted to share it with someone and I can already see all of the problems that a literary journal would have with it so I hope someone on here likes it.

.......

In the last half hour before midnight on June 28, 2021 I sit by myself on my dad’s couch. I have long had a habit of watching myself become older. The clock strikes midnight, and in the eyes of the law I am now an older man. Not a wiser man, because in reality only a second has past, even if that second almost always feels like it lasts an eternity.

Still despite this uselessness, I watch the clock turn over. Feeling a weight that doesn’t exist. An artificial bookend to another chapter that I’ve constructed in my mind.

I remember watching myself turn seven, perhaps the first time I did this. Waiting patiently on the living room couch long after my parents and baby brother had gone to bed, looking at what was, to me, an impossibly insurmountable and exciting mountain of presents forming a shapeless blob in the dark, knowing as I moved from one numeral to the next that I was so close to knowing what it held.

Now I sit on my dad’s couch waiting. Half an hour too early. As a joke to myself and nobody else I put on my headphones and scroll through my phone to the bottom of my list of songs.

Still stuck in my liminal space of waiting for my number to tick over I reach the number section of songs at the bottom.

22. Taylor Swift. Classic. Touch. Start. Pop. Happy. Dread.

I drop my phone. I’m not sure when. The song isn’t over. I’m not 23 yet. My phone isn’t damaged. I let the song end against my better judgement and only then after Ms. Swift has finished do I rip the headphones off and start breathing again.

“It feels like a perfect night to dress up like hipsters and make fun of our exes”

I have no exes. I hold my headphones. I breathe. I have to write. Now.

There’s a lot of things that young adults are expected to experience and it seems as though most of us are under the impression that we are doing it wrong and all of the other young adults are doing it correctly. Finish whatever school is needed or wanted, fall in love, go to parties, get married, get a job, settle down and become a new and improved version of your parents.

Teenagers on the internet tell me that I’m old. I feel like I’ve just crawled out of a cave and seen the sun for the first time. Have I had sex yet? Do I want to have sex? Do I want to fall in love? What do I want to do with my life?

I was going to answer all of those questions when I was 22. Stupid plan in retrospect, but all plans made in the last year and a half seem stupid in retrospect.

A friend of mine is engaged. Her future husband is moving from Colorado to California. She has a real job now. I bang my head against the wall trying not to compare my life to hers but somehow during all the unpleasantness she managed to get her life started and even with everything I’ve accomplished I still feel like I’m nothing.

The unpleasantness. The thing that is going on right now. You know… that. We all know. The whole (speaker waves their hands around vaguely) plague that upset the fabric of society and took over all of our lives and has inevitably shaken up everyone that has survived it even if they themselves were not directly impacted. The phenomenon that lasted for the entire time that I was 22. You know. That thing. That thing we are tired of saying out loud.

I watched myself turn 22 in the midst of the pandemic thinking that by the time I turned 23 that I would already be out in the world. So many of those moments that I watched myself turn older are crystalized in my mind, but not that one. Not turning 22. It’s as vague and confusing and one note as the past year spent here inside on my dad’s couch.

The moments in which I turned 20 and 21 are perfectly preserved in my mind. My anxieties, my fears, my final thoughts and hopes in the second before the digital clock wordlessly ticked over. The second I turned 22 though? Is lost to history. To time. Faded into the background noise of the apocalypse that never came.

I don’t know who I’ve become. I don’t know who any of us have become. Societal and personal identity has been swirling and changing in the past year and now it’s all been tossed up in the air and I don’t know what will come crashing down or what it will look like but it’s coming. Whatever impact comes the next decade will feel it tenfold.

Five minutes remain. It’s 11:55 pm. I am only going to turn 23 once. I am going to spend it crystalizing this societal feeling in time. The feeling that we don’t know what the hell we are doing. This is not a year worthy of nostalgia. This is not a year worthy of romanticizing. This was hell.

How different was it to be 22 nine years ago when that song came out? I have never been to a club. I have never gotten so drunk that I’ve thrown up. I’ve never made out with a stranger and I’ve never fallen in love and the thing is that I’m not sure if I want to do any of those things but this was the year that I was going to try.

It’s 11:59 pm.

I’m still typing. There’s still racism and people dying of COVID-19. I said it. The thing we’re all tired of hearing. The disease. The thing. The YouTube demonetization word.

It’s 12:00 am.

I’m no wiser now than I was when I started typing this. I watched the clock turn over. Happy birthday to me.

[talatomaz]

lockdown | jj x fem!teen!reader

a/n: i can’t believe that a year ago today, the last ever episode of criminal minds aired. i miss jj so much 🤧

this is sort of in line with my own experiences (to a certain extent). and there’s not as much jj x d!r as i’d intended but I hope you still like it.

(feedback/positive comments are appreciated)

requested by @ouat2017 : “could you do a jj x daughter where the daughter’s school is on lockdown and jj is worried or something like that?”

warnings: gun violence. blood

word count: 2.6k

masterlist | request list | request rules

r is jj’s 18 year old adopted daughter and suddenly finds herself on lockdown after someone brings a gun into her school

i do not give you permission to repost or translate my fics on any platform - likes/reblogs are okay and are much appreciated

“Look, you’re the one that needs to be tutored so can you please focus?”

You huffed, crossing your arms over your chest in annoyance.

You were currently in the tutoring centre trying to help a self-absorbed jock pass English so he could remain on the school’s football team.

Looking around you, you saw a handful of students giving both you and Cameron - the man-child you were tutoring - disparaging looks.

“You’re not supposed to be yelling at me. You’re meant to be telling me the answers.”

The aforementioned narcissist leaned against his chair, smirking at you in a way that made you fight to hide a shudder.

You could have easily wiped the grin off his face by mentioning who your mother was and who she worked for but instead, you decided to just continue ignoring his advances and carry on teaching him.

“That’s not how this works, Cameron. Now either you listen to me or you fail and get kicked off the team. And quite frankly, I’d rather the latter happen.”

You watched as his brows furrowed in confusion. Sighing, you answered, “latter means the second thing of two things mentioned in a sentence. Now, for the love of God, just finish writing your paragraph on Heller's satire of capitalism in Catch-22.”

You let out a breath of relief when he finally relented and started to scribble on his sheet of paper. You glanced over at one of your friends, who was also tutoring for extra credit, and smiled when she rolled her eyes at Cameron’s actions.

Leaning against the large desk that stood at the front of the room, you relished in the long-awaited silence aside from hushed whispers that came from other students asking for help.

Taking out your phone, you glanced at the screen to see that it was only midday and soon the lunch bell would be ringing.

You smiled softly at your lock screen.

It was a photo of you and JJ, your adoptive mother.

It was taken a few weeks prior at your 18th birthday party. You’d been living with JJ for almost 5 years now; her having fostered you before later adopting you when you were 14.

You still didn’t know what she saw in you on that day you’d first met her - you’d lost your family in a home invasion, barely surviving yourself - but whatever it was, you were grateful because you’d gotten a second chance at life.

Several minutes passed and you’d only broken from your train of thought when you heard someone clearing their throat beside you.

Looking over your shoulder, you saw your friend, the one who’d rolled her eyes earlier at Cameron, standing beside you.

“I see you finally got him to do his work.” She whispered, loud enough for your ears only.

“Barely. He still has an essay to write and hasn’t even finished a paragraph yet.”

“I would have smacked his sorry ass by now.”

You laughed before clamping your hand over your mouth, her comment having caught you off guard.

“Ally!” You whisper-shouted, playfully hitting her arm.

She looked at you with a raised eyebrow causing you to smirk, “Trust me, I’ve thought about it but-”

Before you could finish your sentence, a large bang rang out, shattering the silence the room had once held.

With wide eyes, your head whipped to the door where the gunshot had presumably come from and you listened as the hallways were filled with panicked screams.

Running to the door, ignoring the gasps and shouts from the other students behind you, you turned the lock on the door, pulled down the blinds, switched off the lights and jammed a chair under the handle.

Looking up, you saw everyone had the same look of panic in their eyes; a few were crying, including Ally, and others were pale with shock, Cameron was one of them.

“Guys, we’re gonna be okay but we have to be quiet.” You whispered harshly, constantly looking over your shoulder at the door, listening for any indication of the shooter coming your way.

Everyone stared at you, as if you were the leader of a camp and they were small children awaiting for further instruction.

You supposed it wasn’t far off.

By taking charge, you were the one who’d been unwillingly given the role of protector.

“First things first,” you walked over to the group of 10 students, “I need you all to make sure your phones are on silent. We can’t risk being caught.”

You watched as everyone followed your instructions.

“I know you all want to call your parents but that’s going to attract attention to us so for right now, we need to be quiet.”

Your heart was beating out of your chest and as you spoke, one thought repeated in your head. JJ.

Taking out your phone, you scrolled to find your mother’s name in your contacts. You watched as your thumb hovered over her name.

Just breathe, y/n. Breathe.

Tapping your mother’s name, you brought the phone to your ear.

“I thought you said we couldn’t call anyone.”

Your eyes locked onto Cameron’s, his face pale and his eyes filled with terror and a hint of anger.

“My Mum works for the FBI.” You whispered as the phone rang out.

Any other time and you probably would have laughed at the way his face grew paler, if that was even possible. But, in a situation this tense, it was going to be difficult to find any levity.

Your Mum picked up on the second ring and you let out a shaky breath when you heard her voice.

“Hi baby. A bit early for your lunch, isn’t it?”

You closed your eyes at her soft tone, as if you were trying to engrave the way she spoke into your mind lest you would never hear it again.

From your lack of response, the blonde sensed there was something up, “Y/N? What’s wrong?”

A single tear dropped down your cheek as you struggled to maintain a steady tone. Catching a glimpse of Ally staring at you, you steeled yourself and spoke.

“Mum, you need to come quick. Someone’s brought a gun into school.”

“Oh my-AARON.”

You winced when you heard her shout for her boss, listening as you could hear her run up stairs. You held your breath as she filled Hotch in on what was happening before telling Garcia to hack into your school’s security system.

“Are you okay? Stupid question. But are you hurt?”

“Mum,” you interrupted her rambling, “I’m fine. I’m in the tutoring centre with 10 other people. I don’t know how many people are injured. It just all happened so fast.”

“It’s okay, baby. You’re gonna be okay.”

Though you could hear the clear panic in her voice, her words did bring some form of reassurance to you.

“Penelope’s hacking into the system so hopefully she can have eyes soon.”

As she spoke, you could hear the clacking of keys in the background of the call; presumably Garcia doing exactly what JJ said.

“Mum?” You questioned when you heard Garcia swear.

Instead of JJ answering, the usually peppy tech analyst replied, her voice shaky and wet, as if she was crying.

“Y/N, thank God you’re okay.”

“What’s wrong, Garcia?”

“Someone’s disabled the cameras remotely. I can only get them back online if someone reprograms them from the inside.”

Grasping what she was explaining, you nodded, “I’ll fix them.”

“What? No!”

Your mother had taken the phone off of Garcia.

“You are not leaving that room, y/n. We’ll find another way in.”

“Mum, someone needs to fix the system from inside the school. I need to do it.”

Ignoring your mother’s worried shouts, you continued to speak, “Mum, I have to. I love you.”

You disconnected the phone and switched it off, preventing her from being able to call you back.

“Y/N, you are not leaving this room.”

You’d only just realised that everyone had been watching you intently during that entire interaction.

“Yes, I am.”

Moving away from the huddle, you rose to your feet and replied to your friend.

Cameron rose to his feet and towered over you as he challenged you, “No, you are not. You’re going to put us in danger.”

“Do you know how to hack into our school’s security system and then reconnect the transformer and enter the Mastercode?”

His face contorted to a look of confusion making you reply,

“Exactly.”

Turning to leave, you felt a large hand enclose around your arm.

“I said, you’re not leaving.”

Your eyes flickered from Cameron’s hand up to his face that dared you to take another step.

“Remove your hand from my arm before I remove your hand from your body. You may letter in football but I’ve been trained by some of the best FBI agents there are and unless you want to end up in a sleeper hold, I suggest you shut up and do what I say for once.”

His harsh grip almost immediately lessened as his hand returned to his side.

“Good. Now, have any of you been shot? No? I didn’t think so. Well, I have and whoever did get shot is probably bleeding out in the hallway. I can’t not do anything.”

No one dared to respond and instead, shook their head ‘no’ at your asking if anyone else would try to stop you.

Content that you weren’t going to deal with any more unnecessary distractions, you made your way to the door and gently removed the chair that was beneath the handle.

“Ally, you’re in charge. Lock the door when I leave. By my count, the FBI will be here soon. And Cameron, you do anything stupid and I’ll shoot you myself.”

Unlocking the door, you stepped out into the empty hallway and hastily made your way to where the main security hub was located.

Just a couple of hours ago, all you had wished for was silence but now that your wish had been granted, all you wanted was to hear the playful shouts and conversations between your friends and fellow students.

The silence that currently fell on your school was unnerving and unbearable. And with each step you took, you flinched at the sound your shoes made against the marble floor. Each noise practically acting as a beacon for the shooter to come find you.

You let out a sigh of relief when you found the Hub and you quickly worked to reconnect the security system. Typing on the laptop that rested atop one of the servers, you couldn’t help the smile that formed when all the cameras re-engaged.

Tapping on one of the keys, you navigated through the various cameras, looking for any indication of the shooter or of any injured people. You stopped when you caught a glimpse of someone.

Squinting at the screen, you saw, what appeared to be a freshman - since you didn’t recognise him as being a part of your year - laying on the ground, a hand clutching his stomach as blood coated his clothing.

Immediately knowing where he was, you cautiously made your way to the east hallway before running when you noticed him laying on the ground, his blood coating the once-white marble floor.

Falling to your knees, you pressed your hands against his wound, trying to stop the steady flow. He groaned out in pain, tears staining his face.

“H-Help me.” He choked out.

“What’s your name?”

“Jackson. But everyone c-calls me J-Jack.”

“Jack, you’re going to be okay. I just need you stay with me, okay? I’m-”

“Y/N.”

You failed to hide the surprise from your face making the younger teen smile despite his predicament.

“You’re t-tutoring Cameron. Everyone knows who you are. Y-You’re the one who doesn’t take any of his shit. I think h-he likes you.”

“Well, tough shit for him. I may be bi but he’s definitely not my type.”

Jack’s laugh quickly turned into another groan of pain.

Unzipping your jacket with one hand, you used the other to keep pressure on his wound. After removing the jacket, you harshly pressed it against his torso and watched as it barely absorbed the blood.

“I’m gonna die, aren’t I?”

“No, you’re not. I won’t let you.” You said, tears filling in your eyes as memories rushed back of when you tried to save your brother after he’d been shot.

“You’re going to be okay. I just need you to-”

You stilled when you heard footsteps come up behind you.

“Well, what do we have here?”

You didn’t recognise the voice and couldn’t bring yourself to turn around to face the person who’d caused all this pain.

You opened your mouth before closing it again, unsure of what to say.

Closing your eyes, you readied yourself for your inevitable death when a shot rang out and a body slumped to the ground beside you.

Jumping at the action, you turned around and almost collapsed in relief at what you saw. Your Mum and her team stood behind you with several SWAT members flanking them.

The tears that had once filled your eyes now spilled shamelessly down your cheeks.

Without saying a word, JJ holstered her gun and ran to your side, hugging you as best she could since your hands were still pressed against Jack’s wound.

Paramedics soon followed and after that it was all a blur. It was as if you were floating outside of your body. Logically, you knew it was the effects of an adrenaline crash but you felt so disconnected from your body.

You barely took note as your mother gently lifted you to your feet, allowing you to be briefly looked over by the paramedics. Nor as your mother escorted you to one of the school bathrooms where she rinsed the blood off your hands.

You didn’t even say a word until you’d arrived back at the BAU where a worried Penelope wrapped you in a tight hug which you returned.

“I’m gonna take her up to my old office, Hotch.”

The Unit Chief simply nodded as he and the rest of the team watched as JJ led you to the abandoned office that was still filled with random case files.

Closing the door, she sat you down on her sofa and stared at you, not touching you in fear that even a simple caress would cause you to shatter.

You exhaled a long breath before finally speaking, “I’m sorry.”

Her brows narrowed, “Sorry? Sweetheart, why?”

You looked at your hands that had been coated in blood less than an hour before and then up at your mother; her blue eyes filled with nothing but concern, love and confusion.

“You told me not to leave and I did. I’m sorry.”

And with that, you started to cry heart-wrenching sobs that made your shoulders shake.

JJ gathered you in her arms, gently rocking you as her long blonde hair draped over you.

“It’s okay, y/n. I got you, baby. You’re safe now.”

Her arms wrapped tightly around you as she laid soft kisses on your head, her hand stroking your back.

That only served to make you burrow into her even more, seeking comfort in her motherly embrace.

You muttered your apologies as she continued to reassure you that you were okay.

JJ was afraid that if she stopped, you wouldn’t be here, safe in her arms.

Still rocking you in her arms, she whispered in your ear,

“I got you, baby. You’re safe now.”

[incomingalbatross]

GF Fic: (Insert Time-Related Pun Here)

Having a birthday on the last day of summer was great when you were a kid.

When you were in college and vacation ended somewhere in the last third of August? Not so much.

“Grunkle Ford, I...I don’t think Mabel and I can make it to Gravity Falls,” Dipper confessed, the day before his twenty-second birthday.

“Is it the travel time?” Ford asked from the other end of the phone. “If your usual transportation is too slow, we can call in a favor or two for you kids—I know plenty of entities that would be happy to give you a lift as a birthday present—”

“No, I know, I know,” Dipper said, running a frustrated hand through his hair. “And I really appreciate that, Grunkle Ford, I just...it’s not the travel, it’s being there. The other years we’ve been in college, our birthday was always on a weekend—last year was a Monday, but we spent that year with you guys instead of in school—”

“Thank goodness that seer tipped us off about her vision of 2020!” Ford agreed. “Taking a gap year to sail the Arctic with us was definitely the right decision for you two.”

“Right? Half a semester of online classes was more than enough. But—I mean, maybe it’s being back in school after being gone for a year, maybe it’s just early-semester problems, but...” Dipper sighed. “It’s just, I’m taking five classes, and I’ve got a TA job this year, and I’m getting back into the DD&MD group again and maybe planning to DM a oneshot as a Halloween event, and...” He sighed again. “It all looked much more manageable on my schedule. It was color-coded and everything!”

Grunkle Ford hummed noncommittally.

“Yeah, I know,” Dipper admitted. “Not the first time I’ve overbooked myself.”

“Not quite, perhaps. But it’s very good that you’re learning to recognize it and take steps to take care of yourself—when I was in college, I burned out routinely.”

“Mabel would sic the ‘Self-Care Fairy’ on me again if I didn’t learn.” The “Self-Care Fairy” was a truly terrifying onslaught of Mabelness, complete with costume and character voice, and would not go away until its subject had reached an acceptable level of well-being and had examined their mistakes. “Which is why...I have to cancel. If I came to Gravity Falls, even with instant travel, I’d only be able to get there around like 5:00 PM and I’d be stressed and anxious the whole time. And then I’d get back here exhausted and with no homework done and with class tomorrow, and...I just don’t think I can afford that.” Dipper paused, a knot twisting in his stomach. “I’m really sorry, I wish we could come...”

“Of course, Dipper, we know you do!” Grunkle Ford hastened to assure him. “Don’t feel sorry for us—of course we’d love to see you, but we just had the summer together. I’m just sorry you’re so short on time.” There was a moment’s silence.

“But how is Mabel doing? Is she facing the same challenges?”

“I mean, sort of.” Dipper smiled ruefully. “She kept trying to figure out some solution so that we could have our usual birthday and everything would work out, but...neither of us could come up with anything that would actually work. And she’s really busy too. She jumped back into school full steam ahead, and she’s got her Etsy store, and all her social groups to keep up with—you know she’s better at managing her energy than I am, but it’s still a lot.”

“I understand that,” Ford said. “You both do what you need to to keep up with your responsibilities, okay? We’re very proud of you both, you know.”

Dipper swallowed around the lump in his throat. “I know, Grunkle Ford.”

“Well, then, I’ll let you go—I imagine you have plenty to do right now! We’ll get in touch with you tomorrow, even if only by text.”

“Thank you, Grunkle Ford! Mabel and I are going to video-call at some point, we think, so there’s that. Say hi to Stan and Soos and Melody and the kids and everyone for me?”

“Of course, my boy. Have a good evening.”

“You too.”

The call disconnected, and Dipper sighed, throwing himself down on his bed. After a minute, he picked up his phone again and texted Mabel.

Just called Ford and canceled plans. He said to take care of ourselves and that he and Stan are proud of us.

Then he pushed himself into the homework for tomorrow until his phone buzzed.

Aww, of course he did. <3 Thanks for calling, brobro. I wish we could go, but you were right--I’ve got WAY too much booked. Why didn’t we check what weekday our birthday was FIRST???

Dipper snorted. Maybe we’re dumb :/

IMPOSSIBLE, Mabel sent back. Clearly an evil College Schedule Gremlin messed with our brains

Is that the same guy who makes it so you can never take the prereqs you need when you need them?

Yep!! And the one who fogs your brain so you THINK you’ve filled all your requirements until it’s too late to patch up the holes in your plan. His phone buzzed a second time after that text. ...Ugh, maybe there ARE gremlins in all the college systems

It would explain Blackboard, Dipper agreed with a frown. Huh, maybe they should look into that...

Anyway, though, u good for Zoom tomorrow?

Dipper huffed, reminded of the fact that they had no time for a paranormal investigation right now. Yeah, he typed, I can do an hour or so anytime after 5:30.

Cool, I will figure out a time and let you know!! Can’t wait to see your 22-year-old face!! :) Even if it sucks that we can’t party :(

Same, same. TTYL :)

Dipper tossed his phone aside again, shutting his eyes for a minute. It wasn’t just the party that had him down—though he would miss the bash that Gravity Falls usually threw on their birthday. It was...everything.

It was having a birthday without Mabel.

Oh, sure, they would talk, but they wouldn’t be in the same place. That was why, really, he’d hung onto their plans until the very last minute. He’d made it work on paper—taking an evening to travel to Gravity Falls, have a party, and be back in time for the next class—and it just felt wrong to admit defeat, to compromise on something this important. Their birthday meant the two of them celebrating together, having a good time, acknowledging that it was important.

This year wasn’t going to feel like a birthday at all, Dipper thought glumly.

But no, that was quitter talk. They were going to do their best anyway, because they were the Mystery Twins! Even if the situation was lame. Even if he was going to spend his time on the call with Mabel tomorrow doing homework and/or bursting with stress.

He opened his eyes, staring at the ceiling. “Why do I always overfill my schedule?” he asked plaintively.

The ceiling didn’t answer.

---

Dipper dropped his backpack with a thud on his dorm room floor, hastily unzipping it and digging out his laptop. He was late—he’d left his thermos in his last classroom, and been halfway across campus before he realized and turned around to go get it. He blamed his sleep deprivation (a week in, and his body still hadn’t readjusted to the rhythm of morning classes).

Now, though, he could finally pull up Zoom. He plugged in his headphones as he waited for it to connect (stupid dorm wifi), and was rewarded with an ear-splitting squeal.

“Happy birthday, Dipper!”

He grinned at her beaming face. “Happy birthday, Mabel!”

“Did you get a birthday cupcake?” she demanded. “Or at least a birthday cookie?”

He grimaced. “I got ice cream at the cafeteria, but I had to eat it there,” he confessed. “Here, I’ve got...a birthday candy bar?”

“Hmph.” Mabel looked crestfallen, but plastered a smile on anyway. “It’ll have to do! We can sing Happy Birthday, anyway. One, two, thr—”

Before they could launch into an inevitably out-of-sync rendition of “Happy Birthday,” Dipper heard a loud knock. Judging by Mabel’s startled turn towards her door, she heard it too—

Wait, what?

The knocking repeated. On both their doors.

“..Huh,” Mabel said thoughtfully. With a wordless glance between them, they both unplugged their headphones and went to their respective doors.

“Happy birthday, slugger!” Stan said, grinning, the instant he saw Dipper. Over the internet, Ford’s voice was greeting Mabel at the same time.

Dipper’s jaw dropped.

“Ha!” Grunkle Stan shoved past him into the room. Waving to the camera, he added, “Happy birthday, sweetie!”

Ford peered past Mabel into the screen. “Happy birthday, Dipper, my boy!”

“But—what—”

“Grunkles!” Mabel cried. “...But wait, why not just video call us? Not that we’re not happy to see your wrinkly faces, but you came such a long way!”

“Yeah, exactly,” Dipper said, waving his arm in confusion. “You guys—you know we can’t really visit, right? Even with you with us? We don’t have time. I dont want you guys to waste a trip—”

“But we didn’t,” Ford said smugly. “We came to bring your birthday presents.”

With a flourish, Stan produced something and handed it to Dipper. It looked like...a piggy bank, but with a clock face set into the side?

Mabel gasped. “It’s so CUTE!”

“But what is it, Grunkle Ford?” Dipper asked.

“Simply put, my boy...it’s time.”

“It’s a Time-Savings Bank,” Stan said proudly. “Got our hands on these babies a few months ago, on a little side trip. See, when you’ve got some extra time—like, at night, or when you’re waiting for a pot to boil, or whatever—you can use these gizmos to store it up instead! Then when you need more time, you use the clock to take it back out. Whammo! You squeeze in a few extra hours between the normal ones.”

“Like Daylight Saving Time without the false advertising,” Ford added. “We know you two are short on time right now, but...if you’d like, there’s enough in here to give you and everyone currently at the Mystery Shack a good few hours of spare time. What do you say, kids? Still up for a party?”

“Are we!” Mabel crowed.

Dipper stared at this miraculous device. “But...that’s a lot of hours,” he said. “Where did you get the time?”

Stan barked out a laugh. “You kiddin’, Dipper? We figured from the start that at least one of you would burn out when you went back to school. We’ve been putting time aside in these things for months.”

“...Really?” Dipper said. Somehow, he found himself blinking rapidly, and swallowing down some obstruction in his throat.

Stan coughed uncomfortably, looking away. “I mean, it’s not like we gave you any time we had a use for. Just some odds and ends here and there...every day... Anyway! You kids wanna get this show on the road?”

“YES!” Mabel shouted.

Dipper beamed. “Definitely,” he said. “Absolutely.”

And a few minutes later, when they all found themselves in the Shack (courtesy of one of those “favors” Ford had mentioned yesterday), and Dipper had piled into the inevitable group hug with his twin and his grunkles—and with hours of birthday celebration in front of them all—he had to add, “Best present ever.”

[superspookywombat]

Treetops {j.h}

Request:  “(Can you make it super angsty and fluffy please 🥰)

But can you make one where I’m walking around and get attacked by a vampire. Edward gets there just as I’m about to die and I beg for him to change me so I wouldn’t have to leave Jasper (he’s my mate) and he’s so sad for me because he feels like I’m a sister to him so he changes me just as my eyes close. He freaks out and takes me to the house where Carlisle is and Carlisle eases his mind that he had done it just in time(like with Bella in the end of the last one of breaking dawn part 1) . Then he when Jasper can’t find me he goes home all sad and worried and as he walks in Edward sits him down and tells him. He feels really bad and sits down by my side holding my hand just waiting as Alice and rose changes me into a cute summer dress. When I wake up it kinda like when Bella dose and Jasper is not there when I do so I end up going to look for him. In the end we just cuddle just happy to be together and read my favorite books.” from @faithie-brock-gillespie01​

Warnings: one use of a derogatory term (not a slur or anything), mentions of scars and nakedness but not too graphic in either

A/n: sorry i’ve been away for forever. yes, i’m still active and i see everything people send me (dm wise or in ask-form) anyway, i really really love this and i hope you do too

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You know it’s a bad idea. Growing up, everyone always told you not to walk alone at night. But, being the independent person you are, you took self defense classes and never went far without your pocket knife. But over the past year, being surrounded by your boyfriend Jasper all the time made you loosen the reigns a bit. Soon, the countless hours you spent in your basement practicing Hammer and Heel Palm strikes were faded lessons that sat collecting dust in the back of your mind. You didn’t have to worry about defending yourself when Jasper was always around to do it for you, and after graduating college, you would be almost indestructible like him anyway. So, yes, you know better than to be walking through the forest, in the dark nonetheless, but anger has clouded your common sense and that’s the excuse you were currently using to make yourself feel better.

The tall trees on either side of you make you feel claustrophobic. You take deep, shuddering breaths as you fight back tears. So maybe you’re sensitive, you’ve been told once or twice, but the thought of someone you thought to be one of your closest friends gossiping and spreading hurtful stuff about you would make anyone's throat tighten. Your roommate had approached you earlier in the week, she was planning a huge birthday party for your best friend back home in Forks. Of course you’d come, you said. You came home every weekend anyway, courtesy of your super generous boyfriend and his very illegal speeding. He even dropped you off at the party, which is what led to you running through the woods.

You had shown up to the party, a bottle of your best friend’s alcohol of choice in hand, and a black dress that stopped just before your knee tight on your body. The loud, booming music hurt your ears, but you soldiered through and greeted your friend with a hug.

“Happy birthday!” You said, a large smile stretching across your face. She laughed pulling you into her arms. 

“I wasn’t sure you were coming.” Your roommate that stood next to her said. You gave her a confused look, pulling back from the hug.

“What do you mean? Of course I’d come.” You said laughing it off. Holding up the alcohol, you asked where to put it.

“Over on that table.” Your best friend said. You smile and walk off, placing the hefty bottle on the colorfully covered table. You went to grab a solo cup, a glittery 22 printed neatly on the plastic. Filling it with your alcohol of choice, you brought it to your lips to take a sip.

“Should you really be doing that? While you’re.. You know.” A voice came from your right, and you glanced over to see a friend of your best friend.  

“While I’m what?” You asked, raising an eyebrow. Waiting for his response, you took a sip of the bitter drink.

“Pregnant.” He said. You choked on the alcohol, coughing as it dribbled down your chin. 

“Excuse me?” You asked, grabbing a napkin to wipe the drink before it reached your dress. 

“I just- I don’t- everyone’s been saying that you’re pregnant.” He sputtered, a pink tinge on his cheeks evident even through the flashing lights of the party.

“Well I’m not,” You chuckled nervously, somewhat amused. You leaned closer to him, lowering your voice. “Where did you hear that?”

His eyebrows furrowed. He leaned in close, mimicking what you had just done. When he murmured your best friend’s name, a cold sweat washed over your body. Your hands shook as you placed the drink back down on the table. Leaving him behind, you walked over to your best friend and grasped her arm, pulling her away and upstairs into a spare bedroom. 

“Tell me it isn’t true.” You demanded, fury igniting flames in your heart. She shut the door behind her, setting her drink down on the dresser.

She laughed dryly, crossing her arms over her chest and leaning on one leg. “Of course it’s true.”

“Why would you say something like that? You know I’m not.. Pregnant!” You yelled, stepping closer to her. 

“Don’t act like you’re so innocent. With all the unprotected sex you brag about having, you might as well be!” She said, matching your voice level. 

“It was one time! And he can’t get me pregnant anyway, I already told you that!” You replied, fighting back tears that tried to escape. 

“So? Who’s to say that you aren’t sleeping around with other people? Play stupid games, you get stupid prizes.” She said, rolling her eyes. 

“I’m sorry, I’m really really sorry. I didn’t want to, Professor Michaels-” You started to say, but she slapped you before you could finish what you were saying. 

“I would never! Why would you do this? I thought we were friends?” You asked, hurt laced in your voice. She moved closer to you, the smell of alcohol creating waves off of her breath.

“I told you not to enter the contest. You knew how much it meant to me and you still entered. And you won. My parents won’t even make eye contact! They’ve taken away my weekly allowance!” She said, tears spilling over the heavily lined lower lid of her eyes. She poked a finger to your chest, causing nerves to fire up in pain.

“Professor Michaels this, Professor Michaels that; You’re probably sleeping with him too, you slut!” She screamed, clenching her fists at her sides. You take the full cup from the dresser, and splash her in her face. You both stood in silence for a moment, before you turned on your heel and briskly walked out of the room, slamming the door so loud that you could hear it over the music. People watched as you came down the stairs, but you avoided their gaze and ran out the back door into the cool night sky. You had almost brought Jasper to the party, schedules had finally lined up to introduce him to your friends since freshman orientation. Now you were glad you hadn’t. You hadn’t even thought about calling him for a ride, you were too blind with rage. But you’d soon come to regret letting emotions cloud your judgment. 

The smell of wet earth comforts you as you double over, hands on your knees and taking large gasps of air. As much as you would love to lean against a tree, you just bought this dress and you’re not ready to ruin it quite yet. You shiver, standing up straight and hugging yourself, trying to retain some warmth. As you look around, you notice that the only light in sight was the moon. The house is nowhere to be seen, and you pull your phone out of your pocket to see that you don’t have cell reception. Suddenly you aren’t cold anymore, your face flushing with anxiety as your newly calmed breathing speeds up again. But then you hear something that causes a false sense of security; footsteps. 

“Oh thank God.” You say, turning around. Before you can make out who’s there, you’re knocked to the ground. A sharp pain tears into the inside of your elbow, and you scream out in pain. Tears fall down your cheeks as you take a sharp intake of breath. 

“Jasper!” You scream at the top of your lungs. You know it’s a stretch, but the Cullen’s house is only a few miles away and there is a chance they could hear. “Please! Someone hel-”

A cool hand clamps over your mouth, snuffing any chance of words to escape. You sob as your blood drains, your body starting to shut down. As black starts flooding your eyesight, your attacker is flung off of you and crashes into a nearby tree. You gasp, fumbling to put pressure on the gushing wound. You curl into a fetus position, the sharp earth pressing into the skin of your face nothing compared to the gash in your arm. You can’t see well, but you can make out the garbled voices of Jasper’s brothers, Emmett and Edward. You think you hear Rosalie too. 

“Take care of y/n, we got ‘em.” Emmett says, referring to you. You feel cool hands lift your limp body, and you groan.

“Jasper..” You say. Tears stiffen your cheeks as you grow tired. Your eyes flutter closed and hands grasp your numbing arm. 

“It’s torn to shreds, there’s no chance of survival.” Edward says. You aren’t sure if he’s talking to you or himself.

“Please,” You muster the strength to say two more words. You just need to say two more words. “T-Turn.. Me.” 

“I can’t.” He says. You want to respond, but your body finally goes fully limp in his arms, and he makes a split-second decision. He buries his head in your neck and sinks his teeth in. You don’t feel it immediately, but soon, fire roars through your entire body. You groan in pain, not strong enough to make anything louder. Before you drift off, you feel wind whipping past your hair as you’re carried through the forest.

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“Carlisle!” Edward calls out, carrying your unresponsive body in his arms. He practically flies up the stairs into Carlisle’s office, and Emmett opens the door before he can kick it down. The doctor strides over, eyebrows pulled together in worry.

“What happened?” He asks. Edward’s at a loss for words, his mouth agape. “Edward, what happened?” 

“We- I- There was screaming.. And then we found a newborn on top of her. Her arm is torn to shreds, there’s no way she would survive it.” Edward says, his gaze avoiding your body. Carlisle senses his uncomfort, and motions for him to set you down on an exam table. You lay on the vinyl, looking almost peaceful if it wasn’t for the blood slathered over your neck and upper torso. 

“Tell me I did the right thing..” Edward pleads. Carlisle glances up at him while examining your arm.

“She would have been turned regardless. You just sped up the process.” He reassures. Edward, obviously, can tell that Carlisle is being sincere. You had literally asked for it, of course, but still he felt guilty. The taste of blood on his tongue became too much, and he turned around, stalking out of the room. Though the door shut behind him, it was reopened by Esme, peeking her head in. She brings her hand to her mouth, clearly shocked. 

She walks over, yet still keeping her distance. “Someone needs to find Jasper.” She murmurs through her palm.

“Bring me water and a sponge, please.” He asks softly, pain straining his voice. Esme nods and leaves. Carlisle sighs, placing his hands on the table and looking down at you. When he first met you, he was worried. He knew that you were intelligent and was scared that you’d figure out their secret prematurely. But soon after, you weaseled your way into their hearts. It was only a few months in when you found out, and it shocked everyone with how nonchalant you were about it. Then about a month after that, you discussed your future with Jasper and decided that after graduation you’d join them and their undeadness. That was the plan.

Downstairs, Edward’s phone rings. The caller ID says his brother’s name, though he’s not sure how to answer. 

“Hello?” Edward answers. ‘Hello’ seems too relaxed, he thinks. 

“Alice called me. She said she can’t see Y/n anymore. Something happened at the party and she’s not answering her phone.” Jasper says, sounding as out of breath as a vampire can. Edward glances at Rosalie, whose face is neutral, though she seems to find comfort in Emmett’s arm around her.

“You need to come home.” Edward says, then closes the flip phone and drops it onto the couch. It rings again, but the room remains still until Esme brushes past with a tub of water and a sponge.

“He’s going to need your support.” Esme says. Rosalie looks up and crosses her arms, shrugging from Emmett’s embrace.

“He should have known better than to get attached to a human.” She says, though halfheartedly. 

“I’ll ground you.” Esme warns as she ascends the stairs. She knocks on Carlisle’s office door, then enters. Placing the bowl down next to him, she hugs him from behind and wraps her arms around his stiff torso. Pressing her head between his shoulder blades, he relaxes in her hold. “He did the right thing, right?” 

“I.. I believe so, yes. Jasper would be ruined without her.” Carlisle says, not sure if he’s reassuring himself, or her. “You can leave, I need to get the blood gone before he gets here.” 

“He’ll be here soon. Edward hung up in him.” She responds. Carlisle sighs, and grabs the sponge, dipping it in the water. He drags it over your exposed skin as Esme exits, red, watery streaks running down and pooling in your collarbone area. He leaves the areas covered by clothes for Alice or Esme to clean, not that he expects there to be much there anyway. Once you appear to be blood-free, he takes a large bandage and covers your arm, but is soon interrupted by a door slamming and glass shattering on the lower level. 

“Carlisle’s up there, y/n’s in good hands.” Edward says, placing a tentative hand on Jasper’s shoulder. He shakes off his brother’s touch, striding up the stairs three at a time. He enters the room and rushes over to you, his eyes examining every inch of your ghostly silhouette. He hesitates, but then takes your hand and presses it to his lips. He closes his eyes, feeling as close to crying as he’s ever felt before. A chair scraping the floor takes him by surprise, which is something that doesn’t happen much to vampires. 

“What happened?” He murmurs, lips tickling the soft skin on the back of your hand. He sits in the chair Carlisle offered, but doesn’t take his eyes off of you.

“Newborn attack. Edward, Emmett, and Rose found her.” Carlisle says. Jasper stares blankly at your paler-than-normal face. 

“She was supposed to call me when she was ready to leave. Why was she in the woods?” He asks. 

“I can’t answer that.” 

“Will she.. Is she going to wake up? Will she turn?” He asks. Carlisle folds his arms and leans against his desk. 

“I think so, yes.” He answers. Jasper looks at his father for a moment, then returns his gaze back to you. “All we can do now is wait.” 

After a few days, you started to show signs of improvement. You had slimmed out in some places, filled out in others. The warm hues of your skin color had completely drained, and there was a raised scar on your neck from Edward’s venom. He tried very hard not to think about it, but whenever he saw it he felt a twinge of jealousy in his belly. If Edward had heard him think it, he was generous enough not to mention it. Turning someone is intimate, for most vampires at least, and he had been looking forward to a special night. He’d give you a few more ‘human experiences’ (wink wink) and then bite you before returning to the Cullen house. But now his brother had laid claim on you, whether it was intentional or not.

Alice bounds through the door, Rosalie in tow. Rose holds a dress folded over the crook of her arm, a flash of what Jasper recognizes as your favorite color all over it. Alice flips you onto your side, rather roughly, and Jasper jumps to his feet.

“What are you doing?” He asks. Rosalie unzips the back of your black dress and starts to pull it off of your shoulders.

“Getting your girlfriend naked.” She says, fighting back a smug smile. Jasper holds his hand up, shielding your body from his view.

“Nothing you haven’t seen before, Jas.” Alice says with a chuckle.

 “Not while she’s unconscious.” Jasper takes one last look at your unobstructed face, then leaves the room. 

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Turn me. Your words echo in your mind, and you jolt into a sitting position. You blink a few times before your eyes come into focus. You glance down, your hands turned palms up. You can see every fine detail of your fingerprints, the undersides of your fingernails darkened from clawing at the earth, but the tops freshly painted over. Your hair flutters down over your eyes, and the sun shines through the strand, creating a glowing effect that you’ve never noticed so intensely before. You swallow, your throat feeling like two pieces of sandpaper rubbing together. You run your fingers over your neck, lips parting when you feel the puckered skin that.. Edward? No way. You slide off of the vinyl exam table and your bare feet touch the floor. You skate across to the other side of the room to a floor length mirror, and you gasp when you see your reflection.

It doesn’t much look like you, but it mimics your movement and expressions so well that it must be. Your hair has grown at least half an inch, and your body is sleek and toned. You run your palms down your torso and the thin, silky fabric of a fit & flared summer dress makes your insides smile. You twirl, feeling light on your feet, and the fabric flows around like a graceful tornado. You laugh, a melodic, bubbly sound bouncing off of the walls. The noise comes to a halt in your throat as you catch a glimpse of your arm out of your peripheral vision, however. You pull your arm into your full vision, and feel almost lightheaded when you see a large area of the skin patched together and covered in a thick bramble of scars. There’s a knock in the doorway, and you let your arm go limp before taking a hesitant step towards your boyfriend. 

“You’re awake.” He says. You nod. “Are you thirsty?” You nod again. He takes a step forward, and in a moment, you meet in the middle and he sweeps you into his arms. You inhale his scent, stronger than you’ve ever smelled it before, as you rest your head into the crook of his neck. 

“I’m sorry.” You say, and though it doesn’t really sound like you, the words come from your heart. He inhales your scent too, nuzzling his nose into your hair. 

“For what?” He asks, but the strain in his voice lets you know that he knows. You turn your head, your cheek on his shoulder, and close your eyes.

“We had a plan.” You say. 

“It’s okay.” He reassures. You can feel the calmness radiating off of him in waves of serenity, and since the night in the woods, you’ve craved this more than anything.

“I love you.” You say, and even though it wasn’t the first time exchanging those three words, it was the first time they held such an impact. 

Two months have gone by, and vampirism suits you well. You moved out of your dorm, and now you’re finishing your degree virtually. You cut off ties with your college peers, and found a new community back home. Jasper almost never left your side (save for book club every other Tuesday) and you both decided to get married the next spring. 

“Shh, I’m trying to read.” You lightheartedly complain, gently pushing Jasper and causing him to almost fall off of the tree you both are lying in. The branch dips slightly as he redistributes his weight to support you resting against his chest. His arms hold you close as you try to focus on the book in your lap, but between the view of the water from the treetop and his persistent need for attention, you fail. He snatches the book from your lap and softly grasps your chin, turning your head to bring his lips to yours.