#i try to tag ppl who have tagged me before bc i know not everyone Wants to do these kinds of posts but if u want me to add u to my lil list

[clamsjams]

if u make a one piece college au and u don’t make all of the strawhats students then u r a fucking coward

[collegeoflore]

OC meme!

tagged by @aliasknives!! thank you love :3

tagging @menzoberranzans @elminsters @tadpole-apocalypse @undead-potatoes and anyone else who wants to do it :3c

B A S I C S

Full name: xarrai. just xarrai lol. they’ve never once used their last name and so that gave me an excuse to never make one up for them :)

Gender: sure. whatever. (transfem flavor)

Sexuality: bi/pan/who cares

Pronouns: any

O T H E R

Family: they don’t remember if they ever met their father or not, and while their mother and at least two half siblings live in neverwinter, they don’t speak at all

Birthplace: the outer city, somewhere between wyrm’s crossing and the basilisk gate

Job: bard, courtesan, information broker, pickpocket, con artist, professional drunkard, etc etc etc. post-game, they add adventurer and (reluctantly) bard college instructor. (jury is still out on if the xarrastarion harper ending is canon in which case they add harper to the list even more reluctantly LOL)

Phobias: loss of autonomy, The Church Of Bane As A Whole lol

Guilty pleasures: if you asked, xarrai would tell you they’re a true hedonist and would never feel guilty for any pleasure. but if you dig deep enough into the trunk they had stashed at the elfsong you will find a collection of some of the worst romance novels in faerun buried under fancy dresses and thigh high boots that they would VEHEMENTLY deny is theirs. they don’t Like these books but they are obsessed with them the way people hate watch reality television LMAO

Hobbies: reading, leather working, writing (mostly music or poetry), stick n poke tattoos, drunkenly making out with strangers at the blushing mermaid, petty theft. obvs they sing and play their lyre but that’s part of their day job so i’m not sure if it counts under hobbies? lmao

M O R A L S

Alignment: chaotic neutral, leaning a littleeee chaotic good by the end of act 3. a little.

Sins: most of them if we’re being fully honest. lmao

Virtues: self-control, vigilance, freedom (is that a virtue? whatever.)

T H I S O R T H A T

Introvert / Extrovert

Organized / Disorganized

Close-minded / Open-minded

Calm / Anxious / Restless

Disagreeable / Agreeable / In between

Cautious / Reckless / In between

Patient / Impatient / In between

Outspoken / Reserved / In between

Leader / Follower / Flexible

Empathetic / Unempathetic / In between

Optimist / Pessimist / Realist

Traditional / Modern / In between

Hard-working / Lazy

this section was such a challenge for xar they r very much an Everything All At Once guy lol. take these answers with a grain of salt ig

R E L A T I O N S H I P S

OTP: astarion, unfortunately for everyone involved

Acceptable Ships: gale (but it never really works out for them,) technically they romance halsin in game as well but it’s not really romantic. tbh u could make an argument for them with most of the companions and it wouldn’t be That outlandish

OT3: i mean like astarion/xarrai/halsin is vaguely canon but they’re never Serious with halsin, though perhaps they get a little more romantically involved with him post-game? realistically i think xar just keeps a rotating cast of other partners coming in and out of their life until the end of time and i rly dont see astarion ever having an issue with it. they would get bored without hearts to break tbh. its enrichment.

Brotp: karlachhhh forever and ever. after she dies, they’re probably closest with gale (sorry gale lol)

Notp: it’s not technically a notp but i am obsessed with how badly xarrai wants jaheira and how she turns them down every time. ur never gonna get that milf honey but u can keep trying

[kalashtars]

venting in the tags yippeee

[redwinelew]

can I request a smau for lewis hamilton where he's secretly dating his new teammate leclerc's sister and a mistake of instagram story tells everyone they're not just flirting on socials but are actually a couple?

thanks<3

BABY, I LIKE FLIRTING!

type social media au

pairing lewis hamilton x twin sister leclerc!reader

summary as requested!

face claim daisy edgar-jones

song after midnight by chappell roan

warnings age gap (28 x 40), a bit suggestive on some parts

author's note figured now would be a good time to post this. also i made reader charles' twin since daisy is close to his age i hope that's alright with u anon. sorry this is shorter than what i usually write i hope u like this 33

english is not my first language. all pictures taken from pinterest, instagram and twitter. credit to owners.

masterlist | request info | requests are OPEN!

ynleclerc just made a post!

♬ Naked In Manhattan • Chappell Roan

liked by lewishamilton, carmenmmundt and 6,727 others

ynleclerc random 2024 photo dump 💋

tagged charles_leclerc, scuderiaferrari, f1, danielricciardo, yukitsunoda0511

view all 190 comments

user who do i need to fight to date charles sister

charles_leclerc user Me obviously

user charles_leclerc my bad bruh 😭🫡

user user LMFAO

user still can't believe vcarb sponsored y/n to come to a race instead of her brother's own team 😭😭

ynleclerc user well does ferrari have danny ric?? and yuki?? no i don't think so

user ynleclerc y/n leclerc aka #1 daniel ricciardo and yuki tsunoda stan

ynleclerc user exactly exactly

user the leclerc genes are insane bro

user user face cards never decline fr

user the best siblings duo ever i don't make the rules

user CHAPPELL ROAN???? you are so real for this

ynleclerc user 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️

user she is who i want to be when i grow up

user the coolest girl ever

lewishamilton That skirt looks gorgeous on you

ynleclerc lewishamilton what's underneath is ever better

user ynleclerc WOAH??????

user ynleclerc EXCUSE ME

lewishamilton ynleclerc I know

user lewishamilton AYO??

user lewishamilton SIR??????

user lewishamilton "I know" EHAT DOES THAT MEAN

user lewishamilton grandpa still got some game damn

user lewishamilton something's in the air in maranello fr ain't no way lewis is flirting with charles sister PUBLICLY

messages (y/n's pov)

ynleclerc just added to their stories!

lewishamilton just added to their stories!

twitter!

messages (y/n's pov)

ynleclerc just made a post!

liked by alexandrasaintmleux, doechii and 16,044 others

ynleclerc well since the secret is out...... here's some pics from the archives

ps lewis is still alive dw charles is not gonna kill ferrari's only hope at wcc this year

tagged lewishamilton

view all 712 comments

user I KNEW ITTTT

user i guess now we know why y/n kept hanging out at merc garage last year 😭😭

user user she was also in vcarb's garage??

user user i mean yeah but that was sponsored. during other gps she's always seen hanging out in merc garage but ppl thought it's only bcs she's friends with carmen

user the last pic...... i would do the same tbh

ynleclerc user alex took the pic 😚😚 i just couldn't resist

user and the crowd is in shock????

alexandrasaintmleux it's been so hard keeping this a secret haha so happy for you two ❤️❤️

charles_leclerc alexandrasaintmleux I still can't believe that you knew first before I do

ynleclerc charles_leclerc she's my favorite so i love her more

charles_leclerc ynleclerc WE SHARED A WOMB!!!!!

ynleclerc charles_leclerc and i'm pretty sure you almost ate me so consider this a payback

lewishamilton just made a post!

liked by zhouguanyu24, calliewilson_ and 4,728,948 others.

lewishamilton Mi amor ❤️

tagged ynleclerc

view all 44,630 comments

ynleclerc baby that's spanish 😭😭 mon amour is french

charles_leclerc ynleclerc He doesn't even know the difference? This is the man you claimed to love?

ynleclerc charles_leclerc he's trying ok give him a break 😭😭

charles_leclerc If you break her heart I will sabotage your car. Mark my words, Lewis

ynleclerc charles_leclerc ARE YOU INSANE 😭😭

user charles_leclerc we love a protective brother

user user i can't take the threat seriously i'm afraid lmfao 😭😭

lewishamilton charles_leclerc I deserve it

scuderiaferrari charles_leclerc Please don't

francolapinto congratulations!

user can't believe all of this started bcs of some instagram stories

user user how long do u figure they would keep this a secret if that accident didn't happen 😭😭

user user they're gonna have to be public eventually. can't hide from charles forever

user i wonder how family dinners will be from now on

user user chaotic most definitely

user user thinking about charles giving lewis the talk has me dying

user oh to be charles leclerc's sister and date lewis hamilton

user user living the dream fr

user when i said i want 1644 dramas in 2025 this is NOT what i meant 😭😭

[theclowningbusiness]

We Deserve It

Pairing:  Joel Miller x Reader

Tropes: Idk?

Warnings: Kissing, age gap (unspecified, but everyone is LEGAL, Joel has only known Reader while she is 18+, don’t be nasty)

Other tags: Joel Miller pushing ppl away for no reason <3, alfredo sauce even tho it’s the apocalypse (bc I said so), doesn’t necessarily follow the timeline of the games, yes horses can get the flu, it’s called equine influenza, not proof read

Background: Before the world all went to shit, Joel Miller was your neighbor. 

Description: Just when you think you’re at the end of your rope, your savior appears. In the form of Joel Miller.

    You didn’t know how long you’d been walking, you only knew how tired you felt. With the lack of anything substantial to eat for the past week or so, you grew tired more quickly than you used to. You were truly at your end. With nothing else to give, you collapsed onto your knees, landing against the grass with a muffled thud.

    There was no hope. You didn’t know your exact location, only that you were probably somewhere in Wyoming. You didn’t have much food left. All that remained in your bag was an old bag of chips you had found and a half eaten granola bar. It was early spring, but after a Wyoming winter, there was still a chill in the air. A chill that your flimsy jacket didn’t stave off. 

    After all these years of fighting in this new world,  is this how you would go?

    Alone, exhausted, starving, cold. It was better than being infected, you thought.

    You closed your eyes, thinking that even just resting for a moment could keep you going just a little longer. Truly, in your heart, you weren’t ready to give up. You’d die fighting, pushing until the last second.

    You weren’t sure how long you’d been sitting there when you heard the grass rustling behind you. Opening your eyes, you stayed silent, not yet aware of what or who may be behind you. Before you had the chance to try and turn to see what you could be up against, a voice spoke from behind you.

    “Put your hands up.”

    The voice belonged to a man. He sounded sure, commanding.

    You had no option to comply with his order, not when you heard the sound of a gun being adjusted in his arms. Lifting your arms, you held them up on either side of your head.

    Keeping your head down, you prepared for the worst. The man came to stand in front of you. All you could see was his boots and the bottom of his pants. At least it seemed to just be the one man.

    “Look at me,” he instructed, his voice still firm. “And don’t do anything stupid.”

    Complying with his request once again, you raised your head. As your eyes scanned his face, it took you a moment to focus and make sure you weren’t hallucinating. You knew this face. You’d seen it more times than you could count.

    Joel Miller. Seeing a familiar face had never felt so good.

    You could feel the tears of relief flooding your eyes. Joel had always been kind to you. He was a good man.

    It seems to take Joel a moment longer to recognize you, but when he does, the barrel of his gun drops. He pushes the gun out of his grip and drops to his knees in front of you. His arms wrap around your shoulders, pulling you against his chest.

    All you could do was silently sob against him, your tears forming wet patches on the front of his jacket. As you sobbed, he rocked your body slightly with his, holding you tightly.

    “It’s alright,” he breathed out. His voice wasn’t so guarded this time. This was the Joel you knew. “I’ve got you, you’re okay. You’re okay.”

    You had never felt such relief in your entire life. Not a single moment could compare to the one happening now.

    Joel let you get everything out before he slowly pulled back enough to see your face as he spoke to you.

    “Can you stand up with me?” He asked, his eyes looking into yours.

    You nodded, worried that saying anything would only make you cry again.

    Joel stood up carefully, pulling you up with him. He kept his hands on your shoulders to make sure you were steady. He seemed to hesitate before he spoke again.

    “I have to ask,” he started, sighing. “Have you been bitten or scratched?”

    “No,” you managed to get out as you shook your head.

    “Good,” he gave a singular nod. “Let’s get you somewhere safe,” he added. After making sure you’d be stable enough to stand without his help, he let go. He removed his coat, draping it around your shoulders and pulling it together in the front.

    You’d never heard a better idea.

    “C’mon,” he breathed out, wrapping an arm around your shoulders to lead you back to where Ellie and Tommy stood with their horses.

    Originally, this was supposed to be a simple patrol. Joel hadn’t expected to find anyone. Especially not you.

    As the two of you approached Ellie and Tommy, the younger Miller brother’s jaw dropped.

    Before he could get a word out, Joel shook his head. Now wasn’t the time for questions, or reunions. It was time to get you home. Safe.

    Even Ellie seemed to sense some weird kind of tension and kept her mouth shut.

    Joel helped you get up on his horse before climbing on after you. When he was settled, you wrapped your arms around his waist, leaning your body against his back. You laid your head down on his shoulder and let out a deep sigh.

    “Let’s head back. We’ll send someone else out to finish the rest of the patrol,” Joel decided.

    The ride back to Jackson wasn’t too long, but you already felt better. Just the simple fact of knowing that it wasn’t the end was enough to help you perk up a little. By the time you were approaching the gates of Jackson, you weren’t leaning against Joel as much, and your head was lifted and looking at your surroundings.

    “They’re gonna bring the dogs out, Joel,” Tommy spoke quietly. “Are you positive that they aren’t going to alert? Neither one of us wants to see that.”

    “I’m sure,” he nodded. He hadn’t checked himself, but he trusted you.

    The four of you all got down from the horses. That’s when you heard the barking start.

    Joel stood in front of you as some others came out of the gate to take the horses and guide them back to the stables.

    “These dogs are just gonna come smell you,” he explained. “They’re trained to smell if someone is infected. As long as you aren’t, you’re gonna be fine, they won’t touch you. I need you to tell me right now if there’s a chance they’re gonna smell something.”

    “I promise,” you started, finding your voice, “There’s absolutely no chance.”

    Joel nodded, stepping aside.

    It was only a moment later that two large, barking dogs came running at you straight on. They circled you, their noses twitching as they sniffed at you. They didn’t smell any infection, and ran directly back to their handlers.

    You let out a breath of relief. Of course, you knew you weren’t infected, but if they smelled something wrong, it could’ve been over.

    Joel made his way back to your side, looking a little relieved himself.

    “Let’s get you some food,” he spoke, using a hand on your back to guide you into the gates of Jackson as Tommy and Ellie trailed along behind you.

    As Joel led you, you couldn’t help but look around in awe. Electricity, livestock, children playing, people having civil conversations. This was a slice of the world before. It was nearly unbelievable.

    “We should go talk to Maria, get some things set up for her,” Tommy suggested.

    “She needs to eat something,” Joel argued.

    “I can take her,” Ellie volunteered. “We’ll go eat and we’ll just wait there ‘til you’re done and come get us.”

    Joel weighed his options in his head. His jaw cocked to one side as he thought. He looked at you, one brow raised in question. He said nothing, but it was clear what he was asking. If you were okay with him leaving you with Ellie. You replied with a silent nod.

    “Alright, fine,” he agreed, eyes landing on Ellie again. “But don’t you go and start bugging her. She’s tired and hungry, she doesn’t want to put up with that.”

    “Yes, sir,” Ellie nodded, giving him a sarcastic salute.

    “Christ,” Joel muttered, shaking his head. “Go on, Tommy and I won’t be too long.”

    “Let’s go get some lunch, I’m starving,” Ellie hummed, making sure you were with her as she started walking through Jackson.

================

    “So,” Ellie began once you were both sitting down with your plates of food in front of you. “Who are you?” She asked.

    You couldn’t help but smile at how straightforward she seemed to be. You gave her name, but she only shook her head in response.

    “I mean like who are you? Like why does Joel give a shit?” She clarified her question. “He doesn’t usually just go hugging people. Especially not random people. So you gotta be someone.”

    “I knew Joel before the outbreak,” you replied. “We were neighbors before the entire world went to shit. He was always nice to me, and it looks like that hasn’t changed.”

    “Holy shit, you knew Joel before this?” She gasped, her jaw dropping. “What was he like?”

    You chuckled softly, finding her surprise amusing.

    “He was a good guy,” you shrugged. “He was always kind, we would joke around when we happened to bump into each other. I babysat Sarah a few times if he had something come up or he’d look at my car when it wasn’t working right. We didn’t know each other all that much, but we were friendly, I guess.”

    “What else?” She asked, leaning onto the table, clearly invested.

    “I don’t know what else there is to tell,” you answered honestly. “I don’t have any juicy gossip on the man or something. He really was just a good man, a great dad and brother, and a nice neighbor.”

    “Come on man,” Ellie playfully huffed. “There’s gotta be something interesting.”

    “I guess there is one thing,” you hummed. “But if I tell you, you’re sworn to absolute secrecy. You take it to the grave.”

    “Tell me,” she nodded, eager for whatever you were about to say.

    “Alright,” you breathed out. You looked around to make sure Joel hadn’t come to find you before continuing. “I used to have a huge crush on him when we lived next door.”

    “Ew!” Ellie laughed. “On Joel? Why?”

    “Because he was sweet and handsome,” you laughed softly with her. It felt nice to be able to laugh. “I was young, barely an adult, really, and he was my hot older dilf neighbor. It was just an innocent crush.”

    “Yuck,” Ellie shook her head. “I can’t even imagine that. Did you have a crush on Tommy too?” She joked.

    “No, I didn’t have a crush on Tommy too,” you chuckled. “I knew him too, saw him around sometimes, but not as much as Joel. But, now that I’ve answered your questions, I’ve got a few.”

    “Hit me,” Ellie nodded.

    “Where is Sarah?” You asked softly. The question had been weighing on you your entire ride to Jackson. 

    “Joel’s daughter?” Ellie frowned. “I don’t know exactly what happened,” she started. “But she didn’t make it.”

    “Oh my god,” you breathed out. You had expected the worst when Joel didn’t bring her up, along with the fact that she hadn’t been with him when he found you. That didn’t mean you wanted to accept it.

    Ellie stayed silent, unsure what to say while you processed what she’d just told you.

    After sitting in silence for a few moments, you spoke again.

    “How do you know Joel?” You questioned, wanting to move on from your previous question, deciding to process that later on your own.

    “We were in Boston, but he was coming here for Tommy,” she began. “And I needed to get here, so he brought me with him.”

    You nodded in understanding. Somehow Joel picking up a stray kid didn’t shock you.

    “What about this place?” You raised a brow. “I mean, how is this even here?”

    “It’s called Jackson,” she explained. “Joel and I haven’t been here that long, a little over a year. The electricity comes from the dam, the crops and animals are all communal. When we first showed up, Tommy didn’t even realize it was a commune until Joel pointed it out. You’ll have to ask Maria if you wanna know more about it, that’s really all I got.”

    “It’s kinda crazy,” you let out a breathy chuckle.

    “Wait ‘til you take a hot shower and sleep on a bed,” she smiled. “That’s even crazier, trust me.”

    “That sounds like heaven,” you admitted. “It’s been too long since I’ve done either of those things.”

    Before Ellie had a chance to reply to you, Joel and Tommy were walking over to the table and joining you and the girl. Joel took a seat next to you, while Tommy filled the chair next to Ellie.

    “We got everything ready for you,” Tommy said, leaning on his elbows on the table. “You’re gonna be staying in the free room at Joel and Ellie’s if that’s alright with you.”

    “That’s more than alright,” you nodded. “Hell, you could have me sleep in a barn and I’d just be grateful for the roof over my head.”

    “Well you should’ve said that sooner, we would’ve just cleaned out a stall,” Tommy joked, a playful smile on his lips.

    You laughed softly, shaking your head at the youngest Miller brother.

    “Ignore him,” Joel rolled his eyes. “We got the room set up for you. Maria picked out some clothes and things for you. They’re already in your room, and if anything doesn’t fit, we’ll find somethin’ else that does. I found you some new boots too, and Tommy found a coat that’s thicker than the one you’ve got.”

    “Thank you,” you smiled. “This is all, it’s almost too much,” you confessed. “I’m not even sure how to function in an actual town like this anymore.”

    “That’s alright,” Tommy assured, “You’ll get used to it. If Joel’s stubborn ass did it, you can adjust too, I’m sure.”

    “Shut up,” Joel huffed at Tommy before turning his focus to you. “He’s right though, about you adjusting. It’ll be strange at first, but then it sorta becomes a new normal.”

    “That sounds great,” you nodded. Adjusting to a life like this sounded amazing after living in a dog eat dog world for years on end. “I’d love to keep talking, but honestly, I’m exhausted. Can one of you show me to the house?”

    “Not until you get checked up,” Joel shook his head. “We’ve got a clinic here in town, it’s on the way back to the house.”

    “Alright,” you nodded. It was a reasonable request, and getting checked up on by a doctor wouldn’t hurt anything.

    “Let’s go, then I’ll take you home and you can get settled in,” Joel said as he stood up from the table.

    You stood as well, grabbing your plate from the table. You planned to take it wherever they asked, but Ellie took it from your hands. 

    “I got it,” she shrugged, “I gotta take mine anyways. You just go to the clinic with Joel.”

    “Thanks,” you smiled at the girl.

    Ellie just shrugged it off and grabbed her own plate before walking away from the table.

    “I’ll see you around, I’m sure,” you spoke as you gave Tommy a small nod. “Hopefully after a full night’s sleep on a bed,” you added as Joel placed a hand on your back to lead you out of the dining hall.

    “See ya,” Tommy nodded at you in return. “Get some rest.”

    You smiled softly. It was so nice to be surrounded by kind people for once. Especially ones that you knew.

    “It’s good to see you again, Joel,” you spoke as the two of you made it outside. “I wasn’t sure if you were even alive.”

    “I wasn’t sure if you were either,” he replied as he tucked his hands into the pockets of his pants. “That night, I did try to knock on your door,” he admitted.

    “I wasn’t home,” you shook your head, looking at the ground as you walked. “I had been over at a friend’s house.”

    Joel nodded silently, not sure how to reply.

    “I’m glad you’re the one that found me,” you hummed. “When I was out there, I thought I was nearing the end,” you confessed to him, “Then you found me. Thank you for bringing me back with you.”

    “‘Course,” he shrugged his shoulders. “I wasn’t gonna leave you out there alone.”

    “I know,” you nodded. “You were always nice to me, even back before the word fell apart,” you smiled. “I knew you wouldn’t leave me there.”

    “I’m just glad to know you’re safe,” he replied. “I always wondered.”

    “I can’t say I didn’t wonder what happened to you,” you said, lifting your head to look at him. “I uh,” you sighed your voice growing soft, “I talked to Ellie, she told me what happened. I’m sorry about Sarah, she was a great kid.”

    Joel’s jaw flexed and he chewed on his lips as he took in your words. You could see that he didn’t want to talk about it, so you gave him an out instead.

    “You don’t have to say anything,” you assured. “I just, I wanted you to know that I know.”

    Joel nodded, his jaw relaxing back into its normal position.

    Before you knew it, you and Joel were standing in front of Jackson’s clinic. He opened the door, letting you walk in first. He followed you in and walked up to the front desk. It was a slow day, so no other patients were there. The nurse at the desk greeted you both with a smile as she stood up.

    You were both led back into an exam room. You sat on the table as Joel sat on the chair that was pushed against the wall.

    “I’ll go grab the doctor for you,” the nurse hummed before heading out of the room.

    “It’s almost weird being at a doctor’s office,” you chuckled softly. “It’s like it was before.”

    “It’s something you have to get used to,” Joel nodded in agreement.

    There was a knock on the door before you had a chance to reply. The doctor opened the door and walked in, greeting you as she sat down on the small stool in the room.

    “I’m Dr. Morgan, but you can call me Jen,” she smiled.

    “I’ll step out so you can get on with your check up,” Joel said, standing up from the chair he’d been sitting in. “I’ll be in the waiting room.”

    “Wait,” you shook your head, reaching out to grab his wrist before he could leave. “Would you stay? Please.”

    Joel seemed confused by your choice, but nodded silently and sat back down.

    The check up went well and the doctor didn’t seem too concerned with your state. As she was wrapping up the visit, she sat down to look over the notes she’d taken.

    “Everything is pretty normal considering that you’ve been out on your own. I expected some things to be different because of that. It looks like you’re just gonna need some rest. You’ve been pushing yourself, with reason, of course, and your body needs to recover. Make sure you get plenty to eat and lots of fluids. Other than that, you seem healthy. If you need anything, feel free to come back.”

    “Thank you so much,” you breathed out. You were relieved that your time living on your own and nearly starving hadn’t had any sort of major effects on your health.

    “Of course,” she nodded, standing up and opening the door. “You guys can go ahead home. Just rest yourself, you need it,” she smiled softly at you.

    You gave her a nod and hopped down from the exam table. Joel stood up as well, and the two of you walked out of the room and left the clinic.

    “That wasn’t anything surprising,” you hummed. “I knew I needed food and water, and I definitely knew I needed rest,” you chuckled.

    “When we get back to the house, you can settle in, take a shower if you want, and relax,” Joel suggested. “If you wanted to take a nap, I’ll wake you up later for dinner,” he offered.

    “That would be great, Joel, thank you,” you nodded. “I can’t remember the last time I got to take a nap. Hell, it was hard to sleep at night, naps were out of the question.”

    “I know what you mean,” he agreed.

    As the two of you walked to the house, Joel pointed out some of the businesses and buildings of Jackson. He answered any questions you happened to think of during the walk. It didn’t seem like much time had passed at all as you walked up the steps to the house. Your new home.

    Joel opened the door and walked in, kicking off his boots by the door. You followed suit, walking in behind him and sliding your shoes off next to his while you pushed the door shut. Next, you slid off the jacket that he’d wrapped around you earlier and handed it to him. He hung it on a hook on the wall before walking farther into the house.

    “I’ll show you your room first, then you can explore if you want,” he decided aloud. He began to walk through the house, making sure you were following him as he did.

    As he opened the door to your room, you could hardly believe it. You had an actual room, with an actual bed, in an actual house. This was heaven, it had to be. You’d died, and this is where you went in the afterlife.

    “There’s a bathroom right off of your room, so you won’t have to share with me or Ellie,” he explained. “And I’m right down the hall if you need something. I’ll, uh, I’ll leave you to it so you can get settled in, but if you need me, I’ll be around.”

    You walked into the room, looking around. You let out a breathy laugh before turning around and wrapping your arms around Joel’s shoulders.

    “Thank you,” you smiled. “I don’t think I can ever pay you back for this,” you added.

    “You don’t have to,” he shook his head. His arms held your middle, returning the hug. “Just get some rest, okay?”

    “That I can do,” you nodded, pulling away from the hug. “I’m gonna grab a shower and then try and catch up on some sleep. Just promise you’ll come wake me up for dinner.”

    “Promise,” he confirmed, giving you a nod. Without another word, Joel turned, leaving your room and shutting the door behind him.

    Now that you were alone, you walked over to the bed to get a closer look at what had been left. Clothes that seemed to be your size, a coat, a new pair of boots, a couple towels and rags, and some hygiene products.

    You couldn’t believe it. This all seemed so unreal. Even if you were dreaming, you were sure as hell going to enjoy it while it lasted.

================

    Settling into Jackson was easier than you’d expected. It was an adjustment, of course, but you fell into a rhythm naturally. You certainly welcomed the change, and it had only been two months.

    Things had been amazing. You’d started being assigned different jobs, and you’d made some new friends. That wasn’t something you ever thought you’d do again. It was nice, having friends again. One of the closest friends you made was Tommy, which really wasn’t surprising.

    He had told you about what happened with him and Joel since the last time you had seen them. Some parts he chose to leave out, but you didn’t blame him. Everyone had done things they didn’t want to talk about after the world had changed. You’d never fault him for that. 

    During your time in Jackson, you’d also grown closer with Ellie. And of course, you grew closer to Joel as well.

    As you got to know Joel all over again, you could feel the old feelings of your crush returning. You tried to tell yourself that you were just feeling that way because he had saved you, but you knew you were just lying to yourself. Joel just had a way of giving you butterflies. It was ridiculous, he had you feeling like a schoolgirl with a crush.

    Joel was different, that much was clear. But you could tell that he was still the same man that would always lend a helping hand if you needed it. Underneath the gruff man that survived the apocalypse, there was still a kind soul.

    Despite your feelings, you never said anything. Having Joel as a friend (and housemate) is more important than trying for more and ruining things.

    “Hey, what time is dinner gonna be ready?” Ellie’s voice snapped you out of your thoughts.

    “What?” You hummed, shaking your head as you looked up from the alfredo sauce you had been stirring before your mind wandered.

    “Dinner,” she repeated. “I asked when it would be ready.”

   “Less than an hour,” you answered. “Sorry, I was caught up thinking.”

    “About what? Your crush on Joel?” She snickered.

    “I’m gonna regret telling you that, aren’t I?” You huffed, resuming your stirring.

    “Yup,” she nodded, walking farther into the kitchen and hopping up to sit on the counter.

    “Do you know if Joel’s gonna be home in time for dinner?” You asked, grabbing a spare spoon and dipping it into the sauce.

    “Should be,” she shrugged. “He likes when you make dinner, he can’t cook for shit. Doubt he’d miss it.”

    “Yeah, cooking was never his strong suit,” you laughed softly, offering the spoon to Ellie so she could share her thoughts on the sauce.

    Ellie took the spoon, tasting the sauce that was on it. She let out a hum, nodding in approval.

    “It’s good,” she complimented. “You’re a pretty good cook.”

    “Thanks,” you smiled, turning the heat down under the saucepan. “I can teach you sometime if you want,” you offered, reaching into the cabinet and grabbing a strainer to put in the sink.

    “Sure,” she nodded, “I can help you next time you make dinner.”

    “Sounds like a plan,” you hummed, grabbing the pot that you’d been boiling the pasta in. You took it to the sink, pouring it into the strainer.

    As you poured the pasta, you could hear the front door open. Ellie had been right, he wasn’t missing your dinner. You heard some shuffling and footsteps, then Joel was leaning against the doorframe leading into the kitchen.

    “Smells good in here,” he commented. “What’re you making?”

    “Pasta with alfredo sauce,” you answered, placing the pot back on the stove. “Ellie was my taste tester, she approves.”

    “Sounds good,” Joel gave a nod of approval.

    It wasn’t long before the three of you were sitting at the table, ready to eat dinner.

    “How was patrol today?” You asked Joel as you all started to eat.

    “Not bad,” he shrugged. “We didn’t come across anything too concerning. A few clickers, but nothing we couldn’t handle. What about your day? Everything okay at the stables?” He questioned in return.

    “Yeah, everything was great,” you smiled. “Zeus seems to be getting over the flu, he should be good to get back to riding any day now.”

    “Good,” Joel nodded.

    Before you knew it, dinner was over, and you were getting ready to wash up the dishes.

    “Need any help?” Joel offered, walking over and grabbing the soap.

    “Sure,” you hummed, “You wash, I dry?” You offered, picking up a dish towel.

    Joel gave you a nod and started running the water to get things started.

    “So, you guys came across some clickers today, huh?” You asked, leaning against the counter.

    “Yeah,” Joel replied, picking up the first plate and starting to wash it. “It was a small group of them, I think there were only four. Nothing too difficult to deal with,” he shrugged it off, handing you the plate.

    You accepted the plate, starting to dry it off with the dish towel in your hands.

    “Ellie and I were talking while I made dinner,” you began. “I’m gonna start teaching her to cook. She wants to help me make dinner next time I cook.”

    “Now you’ll both be better cooks than me,” Joel joked. “I can’t cook for shit.”

    “Yeah, Ellie was telling me about that earlier too,” you chuckled.

    The two of you fell into a rhythm as you washed and dried the dishes. You talked about random things. Joel’s next patrol, your shifts at the stable, going over to Tommy’s for dinner next week. Your shoulders were nearly bumping, and occasionally you’d nudge Joel’s arm with your own. It felt comfortable. Domestic.

    Eventually, you ran out of dishes, and your talk was coming to an end. As you put the last plate on the drying rack, you spoke.

    “We make a pretty good team,” you smiled, tossing the dish towel onto the counter next to the rack. You turned to face Joel, your hip leaning on the counter.

    “I’d say so,” Joel agreed, rinsing his hands before turning the water off. He grabbed a different dish towel and dried them off.

    “Finished this in half the time it would’ve taken me doing it alone,” you hummed.

    “I figured you cooked, least I could do was help you out with the dishes,” Joel reasoned.

    “I appreciate it,”  you nodded. It was only now that you realized how close you and Joel were standing. You kept your eyes on his, admiring the different shades of brown up close.

    “Any time,” he replied, dropping the dish towel onto the counter.

    “I’m really glad you found me and brought me back here,” you said softly. You knew he knew that already, but you felt as if you couldn’t tell him enough.

    “Of course. I couldn’t have left you out there,” he hummed out, his own voice softening.

    “Well, you could’ve. Plenty of people would’ve left me, or worse,” you sighed. “But you didn’t. You brought me here and gave me a safe place to live. I could never thank you enough for that.”

    “I couldn’t have lived with myself if I had left you,” he shook his head. “If it were anyone else, maybe. But you, I knew you before this whole world went to hell. I wasn’t leaving you behind.”

    His eyes looked so warm as they stayed on yours. You tried to reason with yourself. You were only imagining things because you had feelings for Joel. But on the other hand, your relationship with Joel just felt different. It felt like something more than a friendship.

    Then, you did something you’d never imagined having the courage to do.

    Stepping closer to Joel, you reached one hand up to gently hold one side of his jaw.

    Joel let out a soft sigh of your name, his hand coming up to grab your wrist and pull your hand away from his face.

    “I’m not the same man I was before,” he spoke quietly. “I’ve changed. You don’t know me anymore.”

    You could feel your heart drop into your stomach. A lump was already beginning to form in your throat. Pulling your hand away from Joel, you stepped back.

    “Right,” you nodded, looking anywhere but his face. “Well, thanks for helping with the dishes. I, uh, I should get some sleep. I’ve got an early shift tomorrow,” you stumbled over your words. Before Joel could reply, you practically ran out of the kitchen and to your bedroom.

    As the door was shut behind you, you leaned against the wood. You put a hand over your mouth as your eyes welled up. You’d fully embarrassed yourself in front of the one person you always wanted to impress. You weren’t sure how you’d face him again. 

    Laying in your bed, you stared at the wall, wondering if things between you and Joel could be normal again.

================

    You were caught up in your thoughts as you made your way to the stables. It had been two days since you’d talked to Joel. Things had been tense. Breakfast was awkward, and he hadn’t even been coming home for dinner. He’d been eating at the dining hall instead. You felt horrible.

    Walking into the stables, you were snapped out of your head when you saw a familiar face.

    “Hey, Tommy,” you greeted, giving him a small smile. “Didn’t know you were working here today,” you commented.

    “I switched out with Daniel,” he explained. “I wanted to see how Zeus was doing after being sick,” he added. He turned to the aforementioned horse, giving him a pat on the nose.

    “He’s doin’ really good,” you replied, walking over and giving Zeus a pet down his mane. “I can tell he’s feeling a lot better.”

    “Good,” he nodded in approval. “Listen, Zeus isn’t the only reason I switched shifts,” he sighed. “I wanted to talk to you.”

    “You could’ve just asked to talk to me,” you chuckled softly. It wasn’t out of the ordinary for you to talk to Tommy. He was a close friend, after all.

    “Wanted to make sure Joel wouldn’t be around,” he reasoned. “He’s been pissy for the past couple days. I was wonderin’ if you knew what was going on.”

    You stayed silent for a moment, distracting yourself with petting Zeus gently. He nuzzled into your hand, making you smile sadly. After a moment of internal debate, you decided to tell Tommy what had happened. You knew you could trust him.

    “It’s my fault,” you admitted, keeping your eyes on Zeus instead of having to look Tommy in the eyes. “We kinda, I don’t know what to call it, we had a weird moment. We were talking and having a nice talk, and then I misread things.”

    “Misread things?” Tommy asked, urging you to continue.

   “I almost kissed him,” you spoke quickly, wanting to rip off the bandaid. “And he stopped me, told me he wasn’t the man I knew anymore. So I went off to bed, and we haven’t talked since. He doesn’t even come back to the house for dinner.”

    Tommy was quiet. You grew worried, so you finally lifted your gaze to look at him. He looked confused.

    “Are we talking about the same man?” He spoke. “Joel, my brother. You’re telling me he said that to you?”

    “No, the other Joel,” you deadpanned. “Yes, Joel, your brother. Why wouldn’t I be talking about him?”

    “Because he’s always been real fond of you,” Tommy replied as if it was obvious. “Even before the outbreak. He just figured you were too young to be into him,” he shrugged. “He’s even talked about you since coming to Jackson. He said a few times that he wished  you were here. That he wondered what ever happened to you.”

    You didn’t speak. You stood there, your mouth open, but no words coming out. That certainly wasn’t what you were expecting Tommy to say. You tried and failed to get out something that made sense. All you managed was a few random syllables.

    Turns out, you didn’t need to say anything. Tommy knew you well enough.

    “Go find him,” he chuckled. “He’s working on fixing up a house a couple streets over from here.”

    Without another word, you nodded and walked out of the stables. You had to get to Joel and talk to him. You were practically running through Jackson until you came across the job site. Slowing down, you walked over and asked Ben, another former contractor, if he knew where Joel was. He informed you that he was around back, working on the back steps of the house.

    Following Ben’s directions, you rounded the house, trying to calm your nerves the most you could. You turned the corner and immediately spotted Joel. He was hunched over the bottom stair, pulling it off so he could replace it with a new board.

    “Joel,” you called out as you walked closer.

    Joel’s head popped up and he blinked a few times as he saw you.

    “Can we talk?” You finally asked once you were standing in front of him.

    The man in front of you stood, wiping one hand over his forehead to wipe the sweat away.

    “Yeah, sure,” he nodded, but he was stiffer than he used to be. He informed another man working on the house that he’d be back in a little bit.

    The two of you began to walk, making your way down the street so you could have some privacy. You wound up in the yard of an unoccupied house and finally stopped. Glancing around, you made sure that no curious ears were nearby.

    “I talked to Tommy,” you began nervously. “He asked me what was going on with you. So, I told him the truth.” Your voice was soft, maybe even a little unsure. “He told me about how you feel. About me, I mean.”

    “What did he tell you?” Joel asked, and you could practically hear him gulping.

    “He told me that you had feelings for me, before all this,” you answered. “And that you talked about me. Wishing I was here.”

    Joel was silent, unsure what to say.

    “I guess what I wanna know is if it’s true or not,” you finally said.

    “It is,” Joel confessed. “All of it’s true,” he confirmed.

    “If it’s true, why did you push me away?” You asked. “I  just, I don’t get it.”

    Pausing, Joel took a deep breath.

    “I don’t deserve you,” he replied simply. As if it was obvious.

    You sighed, taking a step closer to the man. You lifted both hands, placing them against his chest.

    “You’re a good man, Joel. I have never once doubted that,” you assured. “You deserve to have someone. We managed to find each other at the end of the world, against all odds. I think that means that we deserve to give this a shot. To give us a shot.”

    Joel’s hands come up to lay over yours, and for a moment you’re worried that he’s going to push you away again. Your nerves are calmed when, instead, he guided your arms around his shoulders. He leaned in, his own arms wrapping around your middle. 

    Slowly, his head dips down, his lips hovering just over yours. Unwilling to wait another second, you close the gap and press your lips against his. It was better than you could’ve imagined. You were melting into the man holding you, and you couldn’t be happier.

    Joel was the first to pull away, wanting to speak.

    “Are you sure?” He asked, his voice barely more than a mumble.

    “Never been more sure about anything,” you answered.

    Joel smiled at you, the corner of his eyes crinkling as he did. You had always loved his smile. He leaned in, giving you another quick kiss.

    “I should get back to the job,” he spoke, but made no move to pull away just yet.

    “Yeah, I need to get back to the stables to help Tommy,” you agreed. “I’ll see you at home tonight,” you smiled.

    “I won’t be late,” he responded, finally, reluctantly, letting go of you.

    “I’m cooking tonight. Are you gonna be home for dinner?” You asked.

    “Wouldn’t miss it,” he nodded. “Won’t miss it again,” he added, pecking your forehead.

    Joel gave you one last kiss before starting to walk back to the house he’d been working on. You had a wide grin on your face as you walked back to the stables. You knew there would be some teasing from Tommy, but it was worth it.

============

    “So, did you two finally get your shit together?” Ellie asked bluntly.

    You had all been sitting together in the living room after dinner, a Friends DVD playing on the tv. Ellie sat in an armchair while you and Joel sat next to each other on the couch.

    “What?” Joel furrowed his brows. “What the hell does that mean?”

    “Well it’s obvious that you’re in love or some shit,” she shrugged.

    You laugh softly at her response, shaking your head.

    “Hey, you shouldn’t be laughing,” Ellie stopped you. “Not when you’ve had a crush on Joel since he was your- what did you call it?- Hot older dilf neighbor?” Without another word, Ellie stands up and leaves you to explain yourself to Joel.

    You blink a few times before looking over at Joel, who was looking right back at you.

    “So I was your hot older neighbor, huh?” He grinned.

    You reach out an arm to smack his chest playfully.

    “Why else do you think I always happened to be outside when you were doing yard work without a shirt on?” You laughed, “I’m not religious, but I would thank God for making the Texas sun so fucking hot to work in.”

    “So you were ogling me?” Joel asked, his jaw dropped.

    “Oh yeah. Definitely ogling,” you nodded. There was no point in hiding it.

    “Here I was thinking I was perverted for liking a younger woman,” Joel huffed. “Turns out you were eyeing me like a piece of meat.”

    “The pervert was me the whole time,” you joked. “Just staring at your tits in the sun.”

    Joel laughed softly before leaning in and pressing a kiss to your lips.

    “That’s it,” he spoke against your lips. “You’re delusional, we’re going to bed.”

    Loving Joel was easy. Knowing that he came home to you each night, that he was finally yours after all those years of pining, it made living life in the apocalypse feel simple.

[siffrins-therapist]

👾censoredmandibiles Follow

OK time to settle something

EDIT: this post WAY ended up breaking containment. GO CLUTCH YOUR PEARLS ELSEWHERE

🦑tentacleovi Follow

YO FREE BLOCKLIST IN THE NOTES HOLY SHIT

#RIP OP's notifs #i don't go here but i suggest making popcorn before diving into those notes #some of it is puritan bs you'd expect #some of it is discourse i never even knew existed

41.6K Notes

🕷️friendofcharlotte

I think a painting my friend got at a thrift store was painted by Mr. Italy Veneziano? Is there a way to authenticate it? Google isn't helping.

⭐wishonadeadstar Follow

Try here. Turns out my nan's portrait of her farmhouse was originally painted by Mr. Romano when he was living in NY during the 1920's.

🕷️friendofcharlotte

THANK YOU

8 Notes

📽️bisexuallightinggoggles Follow

hey yo so the US rep put like 100 hours into playing that game Spiritfarer just this week... anyone want to go check on the guy??

💿newagepirate Follow

There are literally government workers who's literal job it is to check on him

⛰️lesbianmothernature Follow

how tf do you know he put 100 hours into playing a game anyway????

📽️bisexuallightinggoggles Follow

We're friends on Steam. He adds like everyone who asks.

And for everyone in the notes asking what Spiritfarer is it's one of those cozy simulator games here's the trailer.

#isn't the 'deathiversary' of his friend Davie this week? #i'm definitely not the first person to think of that #okay looking at the notes was a mistake #like i'm not one of those ppl who puts #'DNI if your username makes fun of davies death' but #immortal or not #even if it happend centuries ago #you can still be sad your FUCKING FRIEND DIED

12.3k Notes

🥾hikingawayfrommyfeelings Follow

So if I become a citizen of Ladonia can he just... visit me through my computer?

🦝trashypanda Follow

He gets mad when you summon him :(

🦘callmejoeythewayi Follow

"summon him" Like a fucking demon?

🫒shrekbignaturals Follow

We are NOT rehashing that old discourse.

🎱magic8saveme Follow

Oh god I just revived my blog after escaping x/twitter and last time I saw that disk hoarse, my dash was just post after post of this for DAYS

🪄magictrio-dropout

#was there actual discourse about whether the nation-people were demons? #cuz the discourse i saw on my dash was #whether tales of things like demons vampires and #other immortal or 'came back to life' creatures #were born from when the nation-people resurrecting #or like #doing creepy stuff

IDK about tumblr or the first bit (I've personally never heard that at least not from anyone being serious) but the other stuff has been debated in academia for decades! One of my literature professors is ADAMANT that the vampire myth can be traced to old folklore about the reps and them reviving and possibly the blood-drinking comes from an evolution of the myth when before, old stories talked about blood soaking the earth where vampires rose. If anyone's interested, here's where you can find my professor's paper about it.

🎃warongayxmas

So like. *grabs a bat and slowly approaches a hornet's nest* Then does the Jesus story have the same roots then?

🫒shrekbignaturals Follow

WE 👏 ARE 👏 NOT 👏 RE 👏 HASHING 👏 THAT 👏 DISCOURSE👏

🥾hikingawayfrommyfeelings Follow

Wtf happened to my post???

#so did OP become a Ladonian citizen or what?

187.4k Notes

🐦‍pinchforawish Follow

MY DAD GOT TO SEE MR ENGLAND LIVE BACK WHEN HE WAS IN A PUNK BAND

🐦‍pinchforawish Follow

TUMBLR WTF HOW TF DOES THIS VIOLATE GUIDELINES

🏴dinotonugget-deactivated

Finally. Proof that the site runs so shittily bc Mr. Eyebrows works for staff

🫎moosecrossing Follow

Spoke the truth and got fucking killed for it

67.9 Notes

[tojiscrack]

there’s so many things i love about your fic but one thing i specifically love that doesn’t have much to do with your fic is probably the community. like every person that comes into your asks, including the funny anons, feels like family idk STOP I SOUND SO CORNY BUT YOU GET WHAT I MEANNNN. like 1l-ynn’s (i think that’s her username) hatred for anyone that comes in between megumi and y/n is so funny, THE MALAKAI SHIPPING PHASE, THE RANDOM ANON THAT STARTED RAPPING IN UR ASKS, stanheightis stressing out every now and then about the angst is so real, kickingcat’s beautiful artwork as well as azr3na’s, mercupinesspring’s tiktok page dedicated to liar,liar which i stalk with my private account haha. i’m trying to think of the others but yeah, like the community is so beautiful and i think i’m gonna miss that more than anything when the fic eventually ends 🥲

i love u guys i can’ttttt

liar, liar masterlist here:

tagging everyone you mentioned so they see this ‘cause they absolutely deserve to know how special and precious they are, not only to me, but apparently to you too. it’s so absolutely true, my fav thing about writing the series this past year is the growing community 😭🩵

@1l-ynn @stanheightis @kickingcat @azr3na @mercupinesspring

the malakai hate was so incredibly funny to me bc he was never gonna be a second love interest. like, ever 💀 that’d make this megumi/reader story just be crack upon crack, and ik i prioritise comedy over romance in this romcom, but there’s a limit, yk 😭 and it was just funny to be given a taster of how certain ppl feel about a second love interest being introduced at all before i’d even introduced the real one, might i add

with that, watching ppl stress about the angst tag before it had even arrived (it’s still not here, curtesy of my hiatus 😇) was also the funniest thing ever. i’d wake up every morning with a new ask in my inbox stressing about NOTHING. like a singular person even held enough stress for the entire community, and then some 😭

the artwork i’ve received over the last few months have been collected into a google doc that’s how obsessed with them i am, ready to be printed out bc i genuinely meant it when i said i’d do just that for my room 😋 we made it to a point where we can appoint ppl as LL’s co-illustrators, which 16 year old me, who was drafting the first chapter a year and a bit ago, wouldn’t have even predicted such a thing and i’m so grateful bc wdym they were able to make malakai look good? ☹️🩵

their versions of y/n are so beautiful too 😭

and LL content being cross-posted to tiktok? i felt like an old person when i first saw the page and went through the memes made about my story (it’s like old ppl laughing at their own joke) 😀 my fav is definitely malakai core, and the video with ‘how i want megumi to react whenever another guy speaks to y/n’ or smth like that (along those words) 🤭

honourable mentions too bc these guys could never be forgotten by me:

@shaigimo @princesssparklesprinkle @reinaswrld @cutesolecita @britishfailure @b4tm4nn @reocidal @jelly-fsh @miffysmittens @anonymity-222 @crisis-unaverted @sl1004 @watermelonlover905 @loffagirl @seoups @awriterinthenight @ist0leurc0ffee @biancaackerman @2ukika @julieannah @missunrise @briezy04764 @jvpit3rr @sfmegumi @nappingnai @evergumi @crimsonhallucinations @femtaktsfilosofi @manmuncher777

+ more ofc, i’m genuinely trying hard to remember everyone from the top of my head but it’s a little hard given how fast LL is growing.

this doesn’t mean i’ve forgotten any of you that i haven’t mentioned! just means i got lazy and needed to wrap this sappy response up, but i promiseeee i’m well aware of who’s here and who’s not 🤗 the people above have also had several interactions with me, so it’s easier to remember ppl who you speak to on a daily 🥲

i thank the silent readers for still being here anyway. the LL community wouldn’t be thriving without ur support too <3

also if i’ve tagged you and you wish to not be tagged even in sappy posts, just lmk, i’ll know not to do it in future haha 😧

but anyways… in conclusion, i agree. i can’t wait to return to all my children (you guys) in late june ☹️ the only reason why i’m simultaneously dreading it is ‘cause it means my exams would be here but oh well 😭

k gonna end it here ‘cause this is too sappy ew 🙄 (💕)

[broodwoof]

i am so happy i approached davg the way i did

everyone's different, and i know that my method wouldn't work for everyone, so i'm not saying it was Right - but it was Right For Me, 100%

i knew early on that if i let myself, i would build up a very specific game in my head - and when it inevitably failed that (bc it would inevitably fail that, bc my view would be hyper-specific), then i would risk some serious disappointment, which would manifest as a far more critical view of the game we actually got

to support this, i blocked everything. i unfollowed ppl who didn't tag spoilers before release, i stopped watching any trailers or anything, i just cut it all out. and when a lot of the game was released early to certain ppl and spoilers were beginning to make the rounds - including some trolls actively and maliciously trying to spoil ppl - i didn't just increase my filtered tags, i unfollowed a lot of ppl (bc ppl make mistakes! i wouldn't hold it against them, but i saw a few things just bc of innocent typos in tags and i couldn't anticipate every possible typo, so) and also fully stopped using my dash for a while there at the end

i don't regret any of this. i waited almost 10 years for this game and i wasn't going to let it get fucked up at the end, and i have enough self-awareness to know how uncontextualized spoilers affect me (namely: not favorably)

so when i got it, i had no idea. genuinely. i knew solas was there. i knew the player character was rook. i knew the names emmrich, neve, and davrin. really nothing else. didn't know about assan. didn't know anything about any of the characters, really. knew a tiny bit about emmrich but only super vaguely. didn't know about the factions. didn't know about the evanuris showing up. nothing

and for me, that helped a lot. everything was thrilling. i wasn't waiting for any particular plot point to drop or any particular character to show up, i was 100% engaged with the narrative and the pacing as it was presented

obviously, ppl have complaints and critiques. that's fine. but i still suspect that in a few years, davg will be reflected upon more... positively might not be the right word, exactly. but i think it'll be less clouded by failed expectations. some ppl still won't like it, and that's fine and natural. but i'm also basing this off of the fandom reception to da2 and dai. i've been around, i've seen it happen multiple times, and it's happening again now

i know there are valid critiques. and ppl are allowed to be disappointed or upset or have whatever feelings they have about this game. but for myself, i just want to bask in it. being upset with the game we got will not make it into a different game. i've never enjoyed focusing on the critique side of things

i apply a much more critical view to my own works. things that i create, and have control over. again: personal. all of this is always personal. it's good to study things and be able to recognize issues... but it's also good, i think, to be able to enjoy what we have, especially when what we have is a game that is deliberately diverse, deliberately queer, and overall a very, very deliberate and nuanced response to current world events

and of course, some ppl can both critique and enjoy! i struggle with it. and ik myself well enough to just... curate my experience, really. again, i focus the critical lens on my own creations, smth i can impact, smth that isn't already done and released into the world. that's where i want to focus and where i choose to focus

[thinking-emoji]

ngl they were pretty famous in 2017, not like household names level famous, but definitely more famous than they are right now. i feel like even if u were just a casual youtube watcher and social media user, u at least heard of their names, and the phandom at the time was also huge (in part because, like dnp mentioned in their mukbang video, a lot of ppl who were generally into british youtube also watched them, whereas now, it’s mostly us really dedicated phannies who have stuck through the hiatus). also, although they had left the bbc by then, they ofc still had that cred attached to them for having been bbc presenters and brits hosts (granted, £250,000 is still Wilddddd, but yeah i’d say they were pretty famous then, even if a good portion of that was like Residual fame from the insanity of 2014-2016)

OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I'M SO SORRY

I GOT THESE AND STARTED RAMBLING AND THEN WANTED TO LOOK SOMETHING UP AND REORGANISE THE POST AND THEN I SAVED THIS AS A DRAFT AND THEN. FORGOT. FOR A WEEK please forgive me 😭😭😭

Um. Do you still want the unstructured rant from a week ago. I'm not even gonna reread it, I'll just post it as it is including last week's tags 😭😭😭

Ok this sent me down a rabbit hole into the most subscribed to youtube channels of 2017, the post-brexit economy of the UK, tinder's revenue history, tinder's marketing budget history, youtube's revenue history (google "2017 youtube advertiser boycott" for a blast from the past), and way too little phandom and Fandom history so I still feel like I'm missing pieces lmao

The thing is... I distinctly *remember* seeing comments that dnp were past their zenith during ii? Granted I wasn't on phannie tumblr at the time so this must've been on twitter or idb, where people have always been more pessimistic I guess. But it's not like this was a lifetime ago, I know where I was and what I did in 2017 (secretly watch dnpg during a uni field trip while everyone else was getting drunk and hooking up with the professors) (until they realised i had mobile data even though we were abroad, which was when they started asking me if we could all watch skam on my phone) (bc apparently that was what the 20 year olds were into lmao) (which is also how i know nobody used tumblr anymore bc i found the pirated skam uploads through a doc linked on tumblr, while everyone else was trying to catch the youtube uploads before they got taken down after 2 hours), so I feel like I can't be misremembering it that much? Like, I remember everyone (irl and on twitter) talking about conventional "youtubers" (as in, person who talks into a camera without a large production company behind them) in these mind-bogglingly reductionistic terms after pewdiepie came out as a racist and then again after logan paul filmed that dead body (tbf that was in december 2017, so definitely after the tinder spon), and I specifically found it so strange that it seemed like none of these commentators knew any other professional youtubers. Like the whole business model seemed so strangely more niche than it had a few years earlier? Like, in 2012 all my friends were watching Tyler Oakley or Jenna Marbles, and then by 2016 they had moved on to watch... Seth Meyers clips? On Youtube? Or, you know, Skam reuploads. Which is not what the platform was for at all, but there was this strange shift in content that wasn't *made* for youtube.

All this to say.... I guess the ad *could* have been that expensive, especially bc immediately after brexit inflation went up in the uk, so that probably also affected the numbers, depending on whether they got the deal with tinder uk or tinder us? I still feel like 2017ish wasn't a high point for youtubers specifically. Apparently influencer marketing only really took off in the mid-2010s though, so I guess it was also this liminal space of already-ftc-mandated-testimonial-declarations-hashtag-ad but not-yet-moved-all-the-budget-to-instagram? Idk it was a weird time. I wonder how it'll go in the next 10 years

[frankenjoly]

fanfic writer interview!

tagged by @anticidic & @aurorahrt tyy <3

How many works do you have on AO3?

so far it's 123, and the number is going up always lkdjf. to be fair, i've been on ao3 for araoun 7 years, and a lot of stuff is drabbles.

Your top 5 stories by kudos/likes:

Connecting the dots. arcane/lol, genfic + baby timebomb.

people yearn(ed) for fluff after arcane, and so do (and did) i. family shenanigans ft. baby powder's puppy crush.

Between the pages: part 2. bsd, misc of ships.

2nd batch of bsd drabbles (and damn, the collection has grown A LOT).

Misread. genshin, jealuc.

jealuc from barbara's pov, relationship reveal kinda since she gets full confirmation there.

Remnants. arcane/lol, jinx-centric timebomb.

post-s1 bit of a character study vs pinning and regrets. it's not unrequited, we know now more than ever that it's not, but it kiiinda looks like it from her pov.

Por el amor de este presidente... bsd, fukumori & (vs) fukufufku.

the bsd Crack Fic so far, mori and fukuchi team up to crash any dates fukuzawa has with other people (since both want him back) but are also rivaling each other (since both want him back), pm members & hd try to avoid overwork.

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

always! i need to give my thanks lskjdfl.

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

remnants maybe? and it's not full-on angst. neither are, tho, i'm a pussy.

What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

here i cannot choose, most are pretty happy lksjf.

Do you write crossovers?

oh, yeah. i even have a whole-ass series dedicated to that (aka the dnd-ish au, and i'm very proud of it.

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

not straight up hate, but i've had someone coming to my fic tagged with 2 ships involving the same character (gojohime and shokohime) to say one is canon and the other are "just friends gal pals etc" lkjsf. my sibling in christ, none are canon.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

i've dabbled in smut in rp (not super explicit tho), but i don't think i could go past suggestive/pre-smut making out on fic lkjf. it's like, more ppl are gonna see it there.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

save from that one page who reposted everyone and their mom's fics some time ago, not really.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

nope.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

no, but if it happens, @rashomune is my #1.

What’s your all-time favorite ship?

this is a terrible question for someone as indecissive as i am lksj. i do tend to have a fav ship tm from all of my favs in each fandom (for example, if i had to choose just one bsd ship it'd be sskk), but choosing just one at all from every fandom? i can't.

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

rather than a started wip, it's a concept that could be sooo good but scares me (but also haunts me). aka: the sskk call of the sea au.

What are your writing strengths?

i'm confident in what i do in general, i can improvise easily (i think rp influences this), and i've been told i'm good at characterization + showing which character it is by their speech.

What are your writing weaknesses?

english nerfs me. like, i don't think i do bad per se, but i'm even better in spanish.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

i'm used to mixing english and spanish for dialogues in rp, but i don't really do that in fic. i do add some words here and there, and use the honorifics for japanese characters and so on.

What’s a fandom/ship you haven’t written for yet but want to?

mhmm... a ton lksjfl. a very specific example is yelan/emilie (genshin), aka very rare rarepair i got into just bcs they have the same jp voices as shokohime.

What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

again, i can't choose lksjdf.

tagging: @ashenaura @littencloud9(no pressure ofc)

[leftoverbriocheloaf]

Fanfic Writer Interview!!

@xerx thank you so much for tagging me!! I'm honored and v excited to answer <3333

How many works do you have on AO3?

Right now I have 29 works on AO3!! That's kinda crazy to me just because I only started posting last summer and didn't think it would go anywhere,, but almost 30 and still going strong!!

Your top 5 stories by kudos/likes:

Language Barrier: I'm genuinely shocked this got so popular?? I'm happy to know that ppl love the "didn't think you could understand my language" troupe as much as I do!! It's one of my shorter ranpoe stories at 2.3k (I like to write longer fics bc I hate myself apparently) but I love it dearly <3

Interesting?: I loved writing this fic!! I am insane about them and continue to be!! It's also ranpoe (I wonder if you can guess the ships I like,,) and also my second longest fic ever at 32.6k. It's a high school au bc I love them living happy lives and being normal (ASAGIRI PLEASE) with a healthy(?) amount of rivalry on Poe's part! It's also one of the few fics where I bounce around in POV, which is something I love doing but find really hard

Good Shot: What can I say. I saw Poe w a sniper and went HOT what who said that. not me. But I also decided that he and Atsushi would make great friends (which led me to deciding they're siblings and writing a whole story about that) but I'm just a sucker for Poe adopting random members of the ADA by accident. Ranpo is just really proud of his bf. This one is also shorter at 2.8k but I got to write a really cool (totally not biased) fight scene so it's one of my favs

Feelings Are Difficult, Even For Geniuses: Guys this was one of my first fics I swear I've gotten better at naming them (I have not). 9.0k words of mostly Poe getting beaten up I have no words,, It's a bit more graphic (violent not sexy unless youre into that idk) than most of my stuff and definitely one of the more angsty ones, but it has a happy ending so dw he's fine

Henna Berries and Padisarahs: Ok this is where I shamelessly admit I'm a genshin player and while I haven't played in. forever. the sumeru quartet grabbed my heart and threw it out the window. Cyonari for the win. 5.2k and soulmates!!

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I do!! I love comments SO much y'all have no idea how much they mean to me,, They've made me so much more confident in my work and eager to share my stuff and I really appreciate it!! I try and respond as fast as possible (I have responded to a comment within five minutes before and I still wonder if that commenter thinks Im a freak) but sometimes I'll hold off until I can finish the next chapter (if applicable). I also am a huge yapper (if these responses didn't make that clear) so I love talking to you guys <3

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Tbh I don't really write angsty endings?? I might eventually, but they make me so sad :') Which. they're supposed to. I'd have to say Feelings are Difficult, Even for Geniuses only bc the fic itself is angsty and it's implied that Poe is gonna have to work through some shit emotionally after the events of it? It might be An Author, a Raccoon, and a Reaper though.

What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

This is gonna be hard bc every single fic is a happy ending tbh.. Give it a Shot! is an octopath traveler ii fic that I loved writing the ending for (guys you should read fics from the octopath fandom they know whats up) but For the Hell of It might be my favorite ending that I've written!!

Do you write crossovers?

I haven't written any crossovers,, Mainly bc I feel like the fandoms I like are all just too different? I haven't found any ways to mush them together but maybe I'll write one eventually!

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Nope! Everyone's been really nice :)

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Sorry y'all I'm a sex-repulsed ace so it probably won't happen? I mean never say never tbf but seeing as my face literally burns when I write two characters kiss it probably won't be soon lmfao

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I don't think so? I hope not?

Have you ever had a fic translated?

No :( I'm hoping to get good enough at Spanish to translate my own fics though!

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes! But not any that I've posted,, I'm working with my irl friends on a few different fics, but they're still in progress :)

What’s your all-time favorite ship?

Guys i can't choose. don't do this to me

(ranpoe, criminos, sskk, kohiiai, cyonari, xingyun, chiakana, dan heng/march/stelle (idk the name) are all favs tho)

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

Ok one of my favorite fics that I'm writing is a fic about Higuchi getting amnesia before the events of the main series and slowly getting her memories back but finding herself outside of akutagawa its like 50 pages so far but im not even done w the guild arc.. im hoping i can finish it but we'll see!! I just think Higuchi deserves love and a MC moment <3

I also have a fic where Poe uses the book after they've lost to send himself back in time to try and fix everything! But (in my fic at least) Arahabaki is outside of the rules of the book, so Chuuya also retains his memories,, I just think they could be a very interesting duo and have a lot of potential as begrudging allies (and guys. mafia poe. guys) but it's very long and idk if I'll be able to see it through (T-T)

What are your writing strengths?

I think I write dialogue well! I have trouble working through certain characters, but I like writing two really smart people bc I have to strike a balance between having them not mention things (bc they're obvious to them) and still letting the reader know whats going on.

What are your writing weaknesses?

I have a lot of trouble continuing fics bc I have so many things I want to write that I usually overwhelm myself trying to string plot points together,, Scenery is also SO hard for me to write idk why (@xerx we're opposites lmao <3)

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I think it can be done well, but I usually prefer to italicize and just say in the notes that a character is speaking in another language so readers can understand what they're saying. However, if you're writing a story where you don't want the reader to understand either, I think it can be really interesting!

What’s a fandom/ship you haven’t written for yet but want to?

Honkai Star Rail,, and Dungeon Meshi (farceille my loves)

What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

I think it's a tie between For the Hell of It and A Hop, Skip, and Jump (Back to the Castle)! I love my aus, if you couldn't tell. But royalty aus will always have a special place in my heart (and that fic is certainly not the last royalty au i'll be writing for ranpoe) <3

Tagging: @jeaninthetrees, @amythecinnabunny (if you have an ao3 and I didn't tag you you should lmk so I can :)) )

[thewickerking]

hey. what?

well. For context everyone im assuming this ask is referring to this post and my tags below

im assuming because of the. The.

Many. Prev tags on it lmao but anyways here's more context. ill try to keep specific elements vague cause i don't want to doxx my grandma and by extension myself. But yeah let's go

my grandma (maternal) ran away from home in her teens (not sure the exact year/age but 70s ish) to join the circus and worked there for an amount of time doing ticket sales and miscellaneous jobs that aren't performance based

she met a guy also working there and they dated. this guy joined a satanic cult after joining the circus (? I think. Mightve been the other way around) and performed ritualistic sacrifice within the cult/with his murder victims. he was not in charge of the cult but was an active member and serial killer across around 4 states, maybe more (evidence was found for about 4 states iirc)

anyways he got caught for evidence of multiple murders but confessed to upwards of 20 (they couldn't find evidence of this so its unclear if he was exaggerating or if there simply wasn't enough irrefutable evidence) and went to prison while my grandma was pregnant and she was also arrested as an accomplice and had her kid in prison. She was 18 at the time. Idk how long she spent in prison but it was long enough to have her son taken away

her son (first of her four children, was my oldest uncle on my moms side) has adopted parents who changed his first and last name and didn't let him know about his biological parents (and were also extremely abusive) and so my mother and her siblings and her mom did unsuccessful research to find him over the years and he found our family a few years before he turned 30 (my moms ten years younger than him btw) and we've been in contact since and he was my personal favorite of my moms siblings

Oh also the serial killer got sentenced to life without parole and is currently on death row. My uncle died last year from unrelated circumstance (I posted about it some last year if anyone remembers) and my mom adopted 2 of 3 of his kids (3rd was a legal adult already) and then they got kidnapped and their kidnappers won the custody battle against my mom so. Yeah

Oh also worth noting my mom is the youngest of the four. my grandma had four kids with different men so im not related to the serial killer but he is in my family tree? Anyways yeah different fathers. My grandma remembers the serial killer and my moms father (my abuelito ♡ love him) but doesn't remember the fathers of the middle children (my aunt and uncle). So they're my moms half siblings technically and nobody knows if the middle children have other half siblings on their dads' sides 🤷‍♂️ but my mom has a half sister on her dad's side! She's 2 years younger than me bc my abuelito got married to his ex wife later in life but they're not together anymore (?) Not sure. They broke up idk if they legally divorced but they live in different countries and don't talk to each other. So.

Id love to meet her someday! But I don't know if thats feasible. She lives in Mexico and only speaks spanish so it would certainly be difficult. But I want to.... she almost immigrated to the United States like. 6 years ago?? My mom paid for documents to be legally translated and stuff but stuff happened and it didn't go through.she also tried to kill her mom once. But she's doing better. That's all a long story. We have a picture of her in our house from when she was little!

Ok thats very tangent-y. I have a lot of family stories. But also if anyone was curious this post below was also about my maternal grandmother

shes a white woman who likes to weaponise having "friends" in nepal when people are mean to her. She's a character. if ppl are curious abt any of this i will answer btw i love talking abt my family they're deranged

[razielwritesstuff]

Obey Me! Headcannons ~

I have never and will never hide that I dislike Luci

BUT

I do have thoughts

This man is just constantly sipping a caffeinated beverage he needs it to deal with these mfs

He's a single mother of all 6 of his brothers

I think all demons have sharp teeth. His are the least sharp of the brothers and he is PISSED ABT IT TGURBODFK

Fav song is probably by Mozart. Basic ass.

I discussed how the om! chars would deal wirth being in mlp (pls dont ask) and Luci and Luna give me an evil grinch smile

I feel like he'd curse when angry

Idk.

Gay ass

Smells like pine trees or something

I think he'd have a fear of mascots

Like. character mascots.

Don't ask me okay

Smells like axe bodyspray and SADNESS

Am I WRONG????

We all love mammon but that man.... we know he uses axe...

Befriends the local crows.

There is so many he could be carried off

They all give him shiny shit to sell

Did everyone remember how he's canonically a model

He's attractive. Canonically.

Anyways, second-sharpest teeth of the bros

This is cannon (TO ME) but Mammon is just attached to MC like glue

"STOP FOLLOWING ME!!" "LET GO OF MY HAND THEN????"

He once tried to steal and sell some of leviathan's games

The cast took a while to come off :)

Fav song is something CUNTY ik it

Most girlypop aside from asmo (YTO ME!!!!)

He's great :D

He is so trans to me as a transmasc.

He has a main twitter and an alt twitter. Nobody knows abt the alt so he uses it to doxx ppl he doesn't like

I love Leviathan but I swear to God I don’t think he knows what deodorant is

“man for a guy who sleeps in a bathtub you really have no concept of hygiene”

How many Henrys has he had??? who tf knows.

Fav animal is SNAKES

Loves pokemon. his fav would be gyarados

He will assume anything except romantic intentions at all times

Autistic. As approved by my friend with the 'tism

He would be a brony

Lovable but a Bit Cringe

Has tied Mammon to a chair and forced him to watch stuff before

EXPERT at pirating shit

Would play Undertale.

Speedrunner !!

Would spend like the better part of a month to discover EVERY SINGLE glitch, bug, and exploit in a game to use it to is advantage

Has a sims 4 cc folder that's like 80 terabytes

He's my malewife and he's everything to me.

Would make a shiny living dex on every single Pokémon game

He has multiple cardboard cutouts of his waifus

Satan has an Ao3 account. He writes exclusively on his fav characters

His Ao3 tag has something to do with Sherlock Holmes fight me

He tweets in perfect grammar

He'd kill over a board game

Would cry over a cute cat video

WARRIOR CATS NERD

HE'S COME UP WITH WARRIOR NAMES FOR EVERYONE HE KNOWS AND THE CAT HE THINKS IS MOST SIMILAR

Lucifer got assigned as Tigerclaw LMAO

He would get into Leviathan's fandoms but only bc Leviathan forced him. He comes out liking the thing.

His favorite disney movie would be Aristocats

Loves Luigi

He became a cat person specifically because Lucifer is a dog person

He'd also be a brony

The one that can analyze media properly

His brothers use him to spellcheck their essays

He either watches video essays on YouTube or he makes them

Likes reading about witchkraft from the human realm, he finds it interesting

The one that taught Leviathan to make cardboard cutouts

Knows about 50 stray cats and has named them all

Constantly brags about how he has sharper teeth than Lucifer

Smells like a different scented candle every week

Has that stereotypical gay accent

He's zesty

He's girlypop but we all knew that

Listens to Ayesha Erotica

Goes like "GIRL you would NOT believe what Solomon did!!"

He spills all the tea all the time

King shit

He'd wear a dress in a heartbeat and he'd ROCK IT

He would cry over broken nails but not because of the pain it might cause, only because it looks ugly asf now

"I NEED TO CRY BUT MY MAKEUP WAS 40 GRIMM"

The one who painted everyone's nails

Will threaten you in order to paint your nails, but he will do a color you like

King at make up

Absolutely loves Ru Paul

Keeps trying to get Dia to set up a drag race, he's unsuccessful as of now

Strawberry is his favorite flavor

He's very physically affectionate but would absolutely respect boundaries i will kill you if you think otherwise

He would HYPE. YOU. UP.

Has gum on him 24/7

Also has tampons on him so he can give them to the homies who need them (like Leviathan)

IDK man I didn't used to like him that much but he's grown on me

VERY GOOD COOK because of course he is

Loves giving piggyback rides

Tall enough and beefy enough for you to sit on his shoulders

Would also let Belph sleep on his shoulders

He's a golden retriever. We knew this.

Surprisingly good at Just Dance

Not a dog person not a cat person but a secret third thing (he thinks cows are adorable)

Always spares bugs and spiders when he finds them

Cannot watch cooking shows, he's tried to eat the TV before

Loves going to movie theaters, will pay just for the overpriced popcorn

You can tell he genuinely loves you if he shares his food

Like he shares his food with MC and all the brothers are like "W. WHAT??"

Would INSIST you look great no matter what you look like

You will cuddle with him and Belph this is an Order

Smells like food-scented deodorant

He would be too scared to roughhouse with anyone, boy is too strong

Likes just picking people up and carrying them off

He's done this with Satan once and it actually calmed him down

Favorite show is Bluey probably

Favorite animal is a maned wolf or something

Would kill for a klondike bar

Sharpest teeth out of the brothers + bites as a love language

Every time he bites Leviathan it results in Leviathan squealing higher than able to be heard by humankind

Talks in his sleep. It is adorable thank you for asking!

Smells like Lavendar, vanilla deodorant, and a little bit of "hasn't showered in 2 days" hidden underneath

Drinks a lot of milk

Blueberry is his favorite flavor

Lucid dreams a lot

He does not believe dreams have meanings his are always either incomprehensible or if they did have menains have ones he really doesnt like

Would drink monster energy but he hates the taste of caffeine (he just like me forreal)

Gummies are his favorite snack

He gives off trans energy but i honest to diavolo can't tell if he's transfem or transmasc or neither i CANT TELL

He's girly pop in his own unique way

His DDD's ringtone is Emo Boy by Ayesha Erotica

He's neurodivergent to me i just dont know how

Chews on everything for sensory reasons

Spoiled. Because he's the youngest sibling ofc he is

Every time he drinks hot cocoa he puts marshmallows in it

He considers "barging into your room and scooching you over in your bed to cuddle" a sleepover

Alternatively he'll get Beel to bring you to their room

Hey everyone remember how he's canonically a yandere-

Anyways he's cool :)

[1eos]

Sorry but I feel crazy for feeling :/ about how now people are going "make noise about this! Spread the word about what is happening! Make it know that this is bad!" About this like where was this energy for black folk 😭 feels so complicated like yes its fucked up but also am i crazy for feeling mad about how people ignore shit when it happens to black people but suddenly when it happens to white people then the whole site shouts about it? 😭 sucks because you can't even complain about it because YOU KNOW you will get people calling you names for it 😭 sorry I feel more complex feelings and sorry I feel more annoyed than anything 😭 I am one of the bad ones if I said "it sucks that everyone is ignoring the racism because this is happening to a white trans person" I would still be in the wrong to them and they'll point at me and call psyop 😭😭😭😭😭

youre not bad and you're not crazy either. cuz in the end of the day nothing's gonna get done if you won't listen to black ppl 🤷🏾‍♀️ as they say you're only as strong as your weakest link if you have someone in your community that is free to be attacked at will you're giving an in for everyone to be attacked. someone already made a post comparing the two situations but its similar to sex workers raising the alarm about how websites were trying to censor them and how it would only get worse if ppl allowed it and ppl really fell for the 'protecting kids' rhetoric and now here we are with that crazy kosa censorship bill. when ppl just straight up ignored that staff has the ability to moderate and go scorched earth but only want to do it against ppl they don't like and those ppl seemingly being anyone black :) that SHOULDVE been when non blacks woke tf up and started pushing back bc if u allow it to happen to one group of ppl its def gonna keep happening

and you, and anyone else who feels some time of way abt this, aren't in the wrong for feeling that way! its actually annoying as hell 😭😭😭 its like someone handing you the answers to a test but you still fucking fail bc you don't respect the ppl who gave it to you. and we all obvs feel bad for the ppl getting deleted and when it comes to the ppl actually being deleted they really aren't the problem. its the ppl on tumblr who rally around them saying stupid shit like 'this has never been done before' yes it has and im willing to bet YOU were reblogging those posts calling black ppl russian psyops for having an opinion thats beyond blue good red bad! and this lack of respect for people who will always be one of the first to face repercussion is why we can't get shit done bc after tumblr banned black ppl and erased the ferguson and blm tags nonblacks turned around and were encouraging folks to give this bigoted ass website money bc you have to 'support your favorite hellsite' girl what......

[nejjirez]

Since everyone addressin their problems with rashad ..

a lil while ago i had an issue with another writer , it wasn't a big problem but someone found a way to fuel the damn fire..

um its obvious who the fuel was .. at first i thought he was tryna help me because at the moment he was one of the only people who were tryna actually help me in the situation.

this was the last message i had from him before ppl got on his ass about the stuff he was causing , he also pretended to be me in the other writer's anons.. which didn't click to me that it was him at first , until i just saw the other writer's post about the situation and now it all make sense to me.. i see him causin problems to evb now and im js thinkin like um.. damn.. cs it is no fuckin reason damn near the whole miles writers block should be on yo ass rn..ts is insane 😭

and honestly the whole thing abt him "usin his mental issues as an excuse" made me squint at my screen bc like .. ohhh okayy...

back to the situation with him pretending to be me , the other writer added it all up and it makes sense to me now , only her , me , and rashad wouldve been the only ones to know abt her not accepting my apology , and the anon just happened to know abt it .. and ik the writer wasnt that dumb to js go in her own anons so it left rashad as the only person.. i don't even ask ppl stuff as an anon , i make it very known who i am

so i'm honestly pissed at that nigga rn bc i was genuinely stressed , and u js tried to make the situation fucking worse? nigga wtf mental issues gotta do with fueling a disagreement? like dpmo bruh .. bc ur mad weird for that , i trusted you , defended you , and hella other shit and ur the anon the whole time..

u got urself known by all these writers js to end up like this.. u got ya self into this.. don't even act like ppl targeting u or wtv bc u made urself the target..

and at first i didnt believe @averagegirlie when they said it was him pretending to be me , but now ts make sense , we had an argument or wtv but i appreciate you for that 💗

this whole situation just pissed me off .. bc u caused a big ass eruption in the damn miles writers group and then try to blame other shit on it .. tbh u js attention seeking , if u needa talk abt ur mental issues , problems or whatever the fuck u got goin on id recommend doing it to a person in private or going in your notes??? something that WONT cause shit?..

yall have a good day tho.. tagging ppl who have had some problems too with him (lmk if i missed anybody..)

@hiimayee @ashsostrange @tainted-liquor @breeandhermunches (MB IF U DONT WANT ME TAGGIN U BREE JS LMK)

[thatonesongyouretryingtoremember]

(I loved your dead boy detectives game!)

Hey just read your tags and I totally agree with you with you— in every fandom I have been in, there’s at least one major fanon character interpretation that feels like a misinterpretation to me. So that being said, I don’t think it’s inherently bad to make a post with different evidence, because that’s what makes fandom fun! It also might be a relief to other people who also weren’t into the earlier meta analysis. I think where it gets hairy are the little comments like “everyone who disagrees with me is bad/dumb/stupid” that get tacked on at the end, or direct references to people who like other characters or ships all being malicious. There’s just no need for that, and I’ve seen it a lot in the past few days from some folks. :/

Games and general analysis spread a lot of positivity though! That’s what keeps fandom alive and makes people feel like they’re part of the fun. Thanks again for starting that ask game.

Actually, I started that ask game specifically to meet people!

Big fandoms are usually riddled with ppl who annoy one another, so my strategy is usually to *start* in the tag so I can block any blogs that would stop me from having fun with fandom, and whittle it down to a mutuals group so I can eventuality just use my dash instead.

I decided to use a mixture of surface, deep, and canon-irrelevant questions in order for others who use it to see multiple types of answers that blogs might not post otherwise, and realize which blogs they like. I think asking questions someone might not think to make a post on otherwise can be very revealing. Ask engagement is a really fun way to make friends here!

I think there are definitely points where mischaracterization can be malintended or even just accidentally harmful- reducing characters to either just their actions or just their circumstance runs the risk of stereotyping them or romanticizing/demonizing their behaviors, neither of which makes fandom a fun or accommodating form of socializing. Personally I take a non-confrontational approach and try to narrow my interaction, but I really don't know how to make fandom safer in general. I don't want to waste time on people who don't care, but it is hard to tell the difference between people who will and won't listen until you spend time asking!

Part of why it is difficult (for me) to make that distinction is fandom language. "ship" is a big one! When people "ship" a pairing, I don't know whether they mean it is interesting, whether they want it to be canon, whether or not they think it is healthy, whether they think it is already implied, or some other meaning, all of which change how and if I'd interact with them- and making fandom friends is part of why I'm here! I don't really have a solution here either, but it is pretty hard to navigate and pretty easy to get lost 'round these parts.

It's also hard to tell with popular fanon if people *know* it's fanon

Anyways, half of that was totally irrelevant to the ask bc I got into a tangent, but basically thanks for visiting my blog, even if you don't stay long! Have fun with fandom ! <2

(And one last hot tip! I mentioned going into the main tag before finding the blogs y'all like, but character tags, art/fic/meta-specific tags, and ship tags will tailor more to your taste!)