#i try to be a hopeful and optimistic person
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ablobwhowrites · 2 days ago
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yandere squid game y/n idea? Maybe?
Thinking of circle guard y/n that helps the players try to survive the games and give people extra food if they can. The other guard like them and all the players do as circle guard y/n also sometimes sneaks a dalgona cookie to eat later sometimes or give players half done cookies to give them a better chance even if it may get them in trouble, they do it anyways but the higher ups let them because it makes it more entertaining to find out who is the lucky player and even if they want to quit this job, it's unlikely they even will ever be able to leave now. And I very much like the circle guards and I've seen no fics of yandere squid game rn😭
Also thinking of player y/n who went into the game and was very happy and optimistic about this as they think they'll be able to get the money to help their family as they hope to even get enough to help them but soon being shot down as the red light and green light game happens as seeing a person being shot right then and there. Having to just keep pushing forward, even when given the chance to leave, they stay because how much they needed this and couldn't afford to leave now so they stay. They try to be positive to everyone and that helps the other players stay a bit optimistic because we'll even if one person was trying to make a bad situation into a slightly less bad one. The players, guards do like the optimistic player because it is probably the only thing keeping this situation from looking more bleak.
(these are just ideas for yandere squid game fics or something. Hopefully I kinda cooked with this one but right now I might have to rewatch squid game again but for now please stay safe and drink water!)
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luceroin505 · 3 days ago
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It's been a while since I posted about my country... however I wanted to say something.
This is a kind reminder that Venezuela isn't free yet. We're under a dictatorship that started 27 years ago that not only destroyed our economy, but also our safety and that threatens our human rights. Basically, those who make known the reality of the country are the Venezuelans who live abroad, cuz if you ever dare to tell people about this while living in Venezuela... mate, you're done. Either you get imprisoned or killed by the government, or both.
We fought. For decades we have been fighting for our freedom, at the cost of prison or death and still we ain't giving up. But don't you dare to call us cowards because we escaped the country. We were starving and we wanted to be alive.
We cannot end this just by "putting our best foot forward and continuing to fight". I repeat, WE ARE IN A DICTATORSHIP. The only people who have the power to overthrow Nicolás Maduro at this moment are the Venezuelan militia, which sold its soul to the government so... that ain't happening until they get on the side of the Venezuelan people.
We are 8 million Venezuelans living abroad, enduring insults, discrimination, xenophobia just for wanting to preserve our lives. There are thieves and murderers among us, that's for sure, but that doesn't define the Venezuelan person. We are hard-working people, who despite the circumstances are optimistic and try to see the positive side in everything. We laugh at our tragedies, we hope for a better future but above all: we don't give up.
So if you see a Venezuelan living abroad, hug them. We suffer a lot because of leaving our country and culture. And if you see news about Venezuela on social media, have empathy for them. There are still people who have remained, people who have lost family members, friends, mates, people who can't afford to escape this hell.
I write this with tears forming on my eyes. I'm a Venezuelan who lives in Colombia, a Venezuelan that with her family had to leave the country. My father had received death threats for not supporting this bloodthirsty regime and my mother was sick, unable to get better since meds can cost a fortune. My brothers and I, exposed to propaganda at school, at the strees, everywhere. We didn't come to this country to steal, kill or do any harm to the inhabitants here, but even in 2025 we are still treated like this, like many Venezuelans in other countries.
I miss Venezuela like hell, everyday. I miss my cousins and neighbours, my house, my life there. But I know I can't return yet, not at this moment.
I don't even know why am I writing this, but since you're reading I want you to think about this later... We didn't mean to hurt anyone. We just want to live. The Venezuelans still living in Venezuela... they haven't given up. But like us, they want to live. We want freedom, but not at the cost of streets stained with blood. We were hurt enough, it's enough.
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userautumn · 20 hours ago
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I have a genuine question about your other post, do you think people are loyal to tim as a person or like loyal to the show (for whatever reason they have) and feel like they have to defend it 24/7 and no one can criticize any aspect of it therefor being loyal to Tim? I hope this reads the right way cause I agree with you and you and Kay are really the only blogs I check in on
Both, actually. I don't know how long you've been around but members of this fandom (especially on Instagram and Twitter) are very protective of Tim Minear because, in their minds, how Tim is treated directly correlates to the chances of Buddie going canon. I have seen this sentiment repeated countless times over the years—Don't make Tim mad or Buddie won't go canon. I'd like to believe it started as a joke because, some years ago, we did used to poke fun at Tim. But somewhere along the lines, that joke transformed to a genuine sentiment I see echoed among some members of this fandom, which is concerning. It goes without saying that allowing one man the power to toy with hundreds or thousands of free-thinking adults is alarming at best, and very dangerous at worst.
People are protective of 9-1-1 as well, but only so much as it is imperative to them that the show maintain its status (in their minds) as "Inherently Good." Such a culture has been built up surrounding media consumption and what people are and are not "allowed" to engage with, and how that engagement correlates to one's own "goodness," that if you have a show that is "Inherently bad" and you continue to watch it, that also makes you "bad," and since no one wants to be "bad," it's easier to pretend the show is "Inherently Good" so that they themselves can stay "good." I think we can all agree this is absolutely insane and faulty logic. But this this idea all comes down to the vice-like grip rightwing ideology and internet activism have arrested society in. Everything is always connected, at the end of the day. But the gist is that people are defensive over 9-1-1 and Tim Minear with the same voracity for two very different reasons.
At least ninety percent of our problems as a fandom could be cured if people realized that, 1) They're not "bad" because of the fiction they engage with, no matter what that fiction is, (yes, even that) and 2) No showrunner should have the power to manipulate a fandom so deeply that the validation (or non-validation) of canon causes people to treat others inhumanely. Fandom is supposed to be a community; we must try to get back to that.
Now, am I optimistic that the 9-1-1 fandom at large will learn either of these lessons? No. But. Some people will, and that's good enough for me.
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tiny-tokunaga · 2 months ago
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It's a Doozy™ tonight, folks
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lollytea · 4 months ago
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I really love hope is a thing with feathers and I also really LOVE the hope as a sewer rat poem too but I wish it was not explicity written as "well actually" against Dickinson asgvsjnk. The imagery is SO GOOD but this whole vibe of "my metaphor is better than your metaphor" kinda sours it for me
#i dont like the patronizing usage of ''Emily'' like theyre explaining something to a child#admittedly dickinson has been dead for over a century so its probably huge deal to talk about her flippantly in terms of poetry#this is just me personally. how i feel about it#i dont like her being namedropped like that#it has this energy of ''haha lemme school this bitch''#when the poem itself was never supposed to see the light of day. she never consented to it being published. girl was 5 years in the grave#it feels like making fun of somebodys diary#i also dont like how it kinda makes fun of dickinson's imagery of hope as something ''beautiful delicate'' thing#i always interpreted as it is told. a little bird. i pictured a fat fluffy thing like the ones i see outside my window#ive known them to be stubborn and mischivious#when we leave out seeds on the lawn the little ones are always bullied away by the crows and magpies#but they keep trying. theyll attempt to sneak over and peck away before the crows notice them#they ARE optimistic and resilient little things. tougher than they look#so i always found the metaphor apt#sewer rat also fits just as well. but i think it depends on the angle from how youre looking at it#so i dont like this vibe of ''it should be more RAW it should be UGLIER'' cuz even tho i love that style of writing#it just feels like unnecessary one-upping here#especially considering dickinson was severely depressed and tons of her poems reflect it#god forbid she dabble around with the occasional light hearted poem about seeing hope as a silly little bird#asgsjsnk sorry im not trying to make a statement or anything. ill delete this later probably
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petrovna-zamo · 9 days ago
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youtube
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rawliverandgoronspice · 1 year ago
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The more time goes on, the more I think we (= westerners, especially white westerners) are just so fucking bad at guilt. I feel like guilt is among the most pernicious and dangerous emotions out there --not because guilt is literally deadly in isolation, it is an excruciating emotion but it will not kill you in itself, but because we have been trained to associate guilt with worthlessness (I partially blame christian values, the idea of impurity and sin --not to downplay, of course, the danger of a community judging you or being expelled from that community on the basis of being considered a danger to its other members due to the thing you've done that has been generating this guilt), and so we must, absolutely must, protect ourselves from simply feeling that guilt and processing its cold indifference washing over us, and we must do so through any means necessary. This can involve defensiveness, denial or reject of that guilt altogether so we are mentally protected from having to reevaluate ourselves and our place in the world, or can involve wallowing in and using it to self-harm --focusing on the pain and on self-hate rather than on what the guilt is telling us about ourselves and our heritage; blinding ourselves to it still in a twisted way.
I think it's also complicated to know how to manage guilt in a world where we're generally (as a whole) deeply powerless. It feels unfair to be called out about not doing enough when you know that pulling even mediocre heroics on your own will most definitively do almost nothing, hurt you, and be buried in a way that might be extremely unhelpul --not to mention, that it would actually hurt you in a very real and final way and lead to entirely thankless results, even if it was the morally correct thing to do. I do not want to pretend that it's not, very often, the results that awaits even serious and well-practiced activism --or even mild activism, major shoutout to everybody who got maimed or arrested or even killed on zero basis simply because they happened to be at or even near a protest, when they were not brutally attacked for no reason even outside of activism because an officer was racist or sexist or queerphobic or simply bored that day. There are genuinely good reasons to be scared.
So we feel guilt because of this fear, because of our isolation from any serious movement and the fact that we privilege our comfort over letting action taking over whatever else we have going on, and because fear and comfort knowingly keep us into inaction --or action that doesn't feel like enough, or that we feel doesn't achieve much of anything (which I think is never true: even giving someone a glimpse of hope for a second because we made an effort towards them is always always worth it in my opinion, it's not nothing and it's not a cop-out --of course it's not enough and we collectively need to find ways to do more, but it's not nothing and it should never discourage people from taking action --but I digress). But I think we start making a mistake when we point at this very real powerlessness as a shield from the guilt. Both can coexist. Both have to coexist. It isn't fair that some people are being forced to be courageous when we can afford to remain cowards. It is not even a moral judgement that condemn our souls forever, weakness is human and lack of individual reach against an overwhelmingly powerful and removed system even more so; it is a simple fact that we *have* to acknowledge if we want to take a clear look at the actual situation instead of camouflaging it behind self-justifying walls to give ourselves temporarily relief from that awful feeling. And I'm not saying it's not a constant effort, to keep those instincts of self-preservation at bay, or that some people don't have really good reasons that they cannot act more than through social media or miniscule donations or by talking about it around them, or being powerless to even do that without putting themselves into real and concrete danger --or that letting guilt in will be pleasant or even healing. It won't be. But it's also not the point.
Yeah, I get that it's hard to truly reckon with the fact that almost everything that made us (= westerners, especially white ones) is soaked with blood, imperialism, white supremacy, sexism, queerphobia, and a whole sweve of truly rancid ideologies that we cannot afford to passively accept as our lot. We were not given a choice in that legacy, and we don't have a ton of leverage over reorienting our haunted civilizations into something that isn't a horrible nightmare; but it is a fight that is happening right the fuck now.
I genuinely think guilt is a feeling we are not taught to handle in a healthy way; and because we have essentialist, pseudo-religious and punitive justice concepts terminally untangled with that feeling, guilt governs our politics and our private lives in the most rabid and unchecked way imaginable. But guilt will not kill us, unless we allow it to, and it will help literally nobody if it does. Guilt isn't evil in its soul-crushing pain as much as it is informative. Guilt is unbearable, unfliching clarity. But fever boils us alive because there is an infection that needs to be destroyed.
#thoughts#personal#not zelda#palestine#free palestine#guilt#cw self harm#(not graphic and really in passing)#sorry it's quite different than usual and it's a lot and I don't know if I'll agree with everything in five seconds#but I feel like we don't talk enough about the impact of guilt on our lives and psyches (and politics)#I am not great at guilt either (tho tbh I don't know many people who are)#but I'm trying to get better at simply... shutting up and Feeling It#I'm sure there's a way to face guilt that isn't destructive or self-pitying or generally useless#but I am.... I am so pessimistic about the future#not in a: let's all give up and cry but in a: we must fucking brace ourselves and look after one another#and put our foot in the sand right now because everything is unnacceptable and we need to acknowledge it much harder#if we let it fester it will only get uglier and uglier#and it doesn't mean we won't win or that hope isn't an absolutely essential component to it all#I am ultimately optimistic that there is an After to capitalism and imperialism and that brand of self-centered preservation and brutality#and this general oozing of toxic and unprocessed guilt#But#let's say that we'll all have to lead our own fights against it at some point#and I think that time should be right now#tl;dr imo there's no hope for justice and genuine resistance without facing guilt and resisting the urge to deny or fret against its ache#which doesn't have to equate with allowing guilt to rule us and use it as a tool of self-torment#anywayyyyy#saw a LOT of very weird reactions to the gaza genocide in my personal circles#some that really disappointed me even though they came from people I know to be better than this#so#yeah
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cerbreus · 17 days ago
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the holiday malaise is getting to me a little bit
#despite my efforts#last year i was happy and i had a boyfriend i loved to bits and i was looking forward to the future and happy with where my career was goin#i had little things to look forward to on holidays for the first time ever and big things to look forward to in the following year#generally a lot more hope and happiness and looking forward to things after many many years of working hard at getting to that place#this year im..... just trying to keep myself busy and distracted#i don't have someone to celebrate big and little things with anymore or events in the year#things are still incredibly caustic with my dad so i can't spend the holiday with family (same as it's been since i moved out)#i don't know what next year is going to be like for me much less my future in general#trying to have hope and make it what i want it to be but i'm still struggling to find a trail that feels passable#also really feeling more and more like i'm just a passing single note in the symphony of other people's lives and not in a good way#ah well#gotta keep trying#a life and future i'll be content and happy with will come to me.... just... a matter of when#i hope it's easier to be optimistic next year and every year that follows#it really doesn't help that politics are so fucking dire here though#personal stuff#waugh sorry to be a downer#holidays are back to being miserable times of the year for me#events and holidays always bring out the malaise ™ in me fr#i'm doing fine being single again i don't feel like i'll never love again or something (impossible for me- i'm a lover after all)#just been a lot of change all at once and a lot of really bad luck all at once and other realities settling in (my age) (my unemployability#a lot to grapple with#i wish i could just live in the woods and spend my days baking and rockhounding/mudlarking and foraging
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icharchivist · 18 days ago
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Go off queen
It's your blog and you should be able to talk about whatever you want after all
aww thank you 🥺 i appreciate it <33
i do really not like spreading negativity esp when it's on a topic i have strong feelings about, and let's say the D.A fandom especially tends to be. extreme about the way it reacts to people disagreeing with them.
And look. I'm not immune to it because sometimes i get caught up by the genuinely rancid vibe in the fandom as well, and i think those games are designed for us to have strong feelings to start with.
but it also means i don't want to go too deep into controversial thoughts because i genuinely don't want to get to a point where i'll see someone screenshot my posts to dunk on it and say i'm the reason media literacy is dead and why the fandom is so toxic (citing things i've actually seen on said blog, for instance though not directed at me but at takes i've seen taken out of context. except i knew the context so knew this was a bad faith argument.).
Like can't even dislike shits in peace in here.
#sorry this is probably my most solas moment but i try to be kind and stuff#and when i discuss things level headed with people i do think i'm pretty humble#i don't think i have the ultimate readings and i am likely super wrong about things all the time#because analysis remains also an emotional approach and it can't be helped#and i need to hold on to this humility to not get caught on in my own head#analysis is also pretty much shapped by experience and i do not have the final reading on things#and sometimes things can be decent in one way but fumble another#and what will be important to not fumble will be different from one person to the next#depending to the themes that resonated with you to start with#but when i see people dunk on feelings i have while taking them out of context and also being rude about it#and then saying 'media literacy is dead'#i feel myself turning into a pride demon on the spot#sorry i only have two literature analysis diplomas i graduated from in two languages with praises for my analytic skills#and with a teacher genuinely begging me to continue advanced literature analysis classes because my approach was rare and precious#so clearly i don't know what i'm talking about at all and i'm the idiot here#like holy shit. lol.#this fandom is still the one i dislike the most and alas the fact i dislike the 4th game doesn't help#bc i really was hopeful and optimistic about it! i didnt want to dislike it!!!!#but i at least don't want to be taken for an idiot for it#but coughs. anyway. so that's one of the reason i'm not petty on main#the real reason is i don't want to impose that on my followers. I don't like being negative needlessly.#the second reason is that if i'm met with hostility where someone act like i'm dumb i will do things i will regret.#It's just that no one saw this side of me there most time because you've all been nice to me here#again. this is my solas moment. one of the reasons my therapist goes 😬 when i talk about him#ichareply#anonymous#ichasalty
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codgod · 10 months ago
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i still feel like the money from the egg figures is gonna go to the eggmins, including lumi and shade and anyone else that has left/been fired [maybe with the exception of like, flippa and tilín’s original admins since they were only there for less than a month but who knows]
like i agree that the way quackity is going about things sucks, with his mindset being that because he doesn’t want to make promises he can’t keep he won’t say anything at all, but i don’t think it means the eggmins won’t be paid. i’d assume, based on what he’s said, that he’s waiting to see how much money the merch makes before he promises anyone any amount of money. which again. is dumb, because if that is the case he could still just Say That. but i don’t think it’s a baseless assumption at the very least
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teenagefeeling · 4 months ago
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how i know im going through a depressive episode:
been very irritable and crying a lot lately
keep waking up at 5 am no matter when i go to bed and im tired all the time anyway
can't focus on shit and reading books makes me feel like im sticking nails in my eyes
this is my spotify history
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in conclusion: im having a bad time
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yarrowleef · 4 months ago
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guess who finally got ✨✨medicated✨✨
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arsonists-oatmeal · 1 year ago
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I swear some of yall only say "ACAB" because you think its trendy to be anti authority. You need to understand that that acronym was born out of actual pain that people have experienced by the police. And im not just talking about getting speeding or parking tickets (though im not saying that tickets can not be a source of great pain for people), im talking about things that have brought about personal risk of life. Things like police brutality, being arrested, getting a "mental health check" via police. People say ACAB because they have been hurt by police, and see the problems with the police, and how they are all bastards via how they systematically protect the bad ones and encourage violence. They don't say it just to be rebellious or something. So like, if you say ACAB, you better believe it, because I see a lot of the (usually white) liberal crowd shout it at the top of their lungs, and then turn around and call the cops on their marginalized peers the moment they act weird
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skunkes · 2 years ago
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hi im gonna sadpost for a bit
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burinazar · 7 months ago
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sometimes i really miss in early college when i primarily had four good friends i felt i could count on for almost anything and that was legitimately all i needed. friendships are more numerous but more diffuse now both geographically and emotionally and there’s some kind of bottomless feeling of unmet need there
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designernishiki · 1 year ago
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bro kiryu is a terrible parent. he may be happiest when he's surrounded by the kids at the orphanage but what kind of genuine happiness has he given THEM? the dude provides them no stability and haruka is the one that actually looked after them the whole time while he runs off to fix up the tojo again and again. it's better that he stays away from them. even kiryu finally sees that. it's why he chose to do what he did at the end of 6. i hope he continues to leave them the hell alone.
park mirei is that you????
I really don’t think it’s that simple. I don’t think he’s a bad parent and I don’t think he’s a perfectly good one either. I think some of the things that make him a “bad” parent are actually his fault, while other things haven’t been, and are instead more of an inevitable product of the shady world him and haruka both were born into.
TLDR: it’s literally factually incorrect to say he didn’t/barely raised his kids and instead just left haruka to do it (most of 2007-2011 he was fully present and solely devoted to raising them, no other job, no other intentions), and he absolutely has done a lot for them and their happiness. however, he’s made some bad choices as well and has his fair share of flaws as a parent. most importantly, his past does tend to find him in one way or another regardless of what he does, which is not something that’s easy to solve. taking himself out of the picture hurts the kids tremendously, while staying in the picture potentially endangers/hinders the kids. I can’t say what the “right” thing to do would be, because it’s not black and white. all I can say for sure is that he did have an important and positive impact on their childhoods, and they care about him just as much as he cares about them.
(more in depth version below)
the idea that he hasn’t done anything for his kids and didn’t actually raise them is something I wholeheartedly disagree with and is just factually untrue. before he starts getting threatened and manipulated by various groups/people to get him to leave, for several years (most of 2007-2011) he was a caring parent who devoted all of his time and effort to raising those kids and it shows from how much they love and miss him when he’s gone, and in the personal problems he helps each of them with whenever he can in y3. On top of love in general, he provides them with stability, a sense of family and home, and helps some of the more traumatized kids regain the ability to trust and overcome survivor’s guilt. he’s responsible for the years of those kids’ lives they would almost undoubtedly all consider the best of their childhoods. “what kind of happiness has he given them?” a whole damn lot, frankly.
kiryu never goes back to deal with shit in the tojo clan fully voluntarily. it’s basically always because something is threatening the orphanage and the kids’ wellbeing, or because there are people he cares about in the clan, which makes for a lot of potential issues but– considering he’s not heartless and can’t just turn off the bonds he has with certain people– can’t be avoided, considering the closest people he had to family were yakuza/yakuza-adjacent, and cutting all of them (that he has left) off completely isn’t as easy as you make it seem. when daigo– who’s like a son to him in his own right– gets shot and very nearly dies in y3, no shit he’s gonna be concerned. and he’s deeply conflicted at first on what to do (or not do) about it. it’s really really really not as black and white as him being a good person or a bad person for being dragged back into clan ordeals– much of the time it’s not his fault at all. by all accounts he feels guilty and horrible for his past endangering the kids, and it’s a HUGE recurring theme/conflict that contributes heavily to his distancing in y5, and further distancing in y6.
HOWEVER. he has absolutely made some iffy choices and I’d never say he’s a perfect parent. for one, I definitely think haruka was allowed to be more parentified than she should’ve been– he needed the extra help, considering one adult raising that many kids isn’t easy, but he should’ve gotten that help via employing another adult (I was hoping mikiyo from y3 would do this, but he doesn’t get mentioned after y3 for whatever reason sadly), not relying on her for more responsibility than a kid should have.
moreover, despite her parentification, there’s several times where he makes huge decisions for haruka (and the kids in general to some extent) without her input / against her wishes, and recklessly puts himself in grave danger despite having kids who rely on him to take into consideration. it absolutely baffled me at the beginning of y6 to see that there wasn’t any real adult put in kiryu’s place while he was in prison, and that it’d just been the older kids seemingly who acted as caretakers for the household. that was a horrible oversight and I think he should’ve known better– yeah, he didn’t have much time to find someone to fill the role, but he was in contact with haruka and he could’ve had her get help from one of kiryu’s friends to find someone. there were definitely options and I’m not gonna make any excuses there. he’s not infallible, no doubt.
Shit gets really complicated when it comes to him leaving the way he does a number of times. He does it in the hopes that it protects the kids from his past that keeps springing up and endangering their futures, but the issue with this is that BECAUSE he did, in fact, lovingly raise these kids for the most fundamental years of their lives and become their father figure, ripping himself out of their lives can’t be good for them– especially considering they’re orphans who have already had parents ripped from their lives and undoubtedly have abandonment issues as it is. this is terribly complicated and doesn’t have a black or white answer at all– leaving them has the huge emotional repercussions I just mentioned, and staying potentially endangers them and their futures. there is no easy way to slice it, and even the best parent on earth would be torn if put in that scenario.
personally I can’t help but hope he gets to reunite with his family, as I know they’d want that as much as he would; but it’s for the best at this point that they don’t have to fully rely on him and him alone. kiryu needs other adults to lean on in his life, and so do the kids. I think the kids are capable of this– of building new bonds and broader support systems– but kiryu has got a ways to go.
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