#also he was even harshly criticized by some for being ‘way too gullible’

[sn-613]

I really hope that meme is satire bc I will NOT stand for that

Seeing the talk about IDW Silver in Twitter, I'm convinced that the people who are, quote-on-quote 'fans' of 'Silver', doesn't really like the real him.

In which I mean, they don't really like how he's exactly like the rest of the male characters. Serious, tempered and cool. They want UWU cinnamon rolls.

Like, IDW is already filled with the writers' OCs, why not make one so that Silver doesn't have to suffer from his so called 'fans' fanfic perception of him.

Look no further.

[crossroadsimagine]

What would Hashirama and Tobirama look for in an S/O?? Please!

☰ Tobirama

■ Intelligence and level headed, he looks for someone with a reasonable amount of common sense and intelligence. Being at least close to him intellectually, and someone who is level headed and open minded.

■ More on the laid and calm side than loud and bossy, Because he tends to be more on the bossy side he wouldn’t want someone he would clash with. And would prefer someone that could tolerate his more serious and even angry nature at times and could help calm him down rather than escalating things.

■ Thoughtful and kind but cautious, while he would like for his S/O to be kind and caring towards people in general. He also would want them to be cautious about what they do for people and who, he would not want anyone taking advantage of his S/O or using them in some way.

■ Someone who is not overly naive or gullible because otherwise he would feel like he couldn’t leave his S/O alone. And it would be a constant worry and concern to him, therefore he would like to know his S/O has some common sense and able to read people to some degree.

■ Affectionate and loving but only at home because he wouldn’t like his S/O being super loving and affectionate in public. Especially not in front of people he knows, he does like affection though he just prefers it alone with you and at home.

■ Strong not exactly in a physical way but more in a mental and emotional way, because he doesn’t mesh incredibly well with someone who is overly sentimental or emotional. Someone who could handle criticism or teasing to some degree.

☰ Hashirama

■ Positive and optimistic because he can take criticism and negativity rather harshly, he prefers to be around positive people. However he would also want them to be fairly realistic too, because he can easily feed into his S/O’s attitude. And if they are too optimistic and unrealistic it could lead to him having a rough crash when reality rears its head.

■ Helpful, Kind and caring to others because he prefers people who are kind to others, and will share and help others. No one who is rude or greedy who only thinks of themselves, because he puts a lot of thought and effort into helping the community as a whole.

■ Someone who’s good with children because he is very open to the idea of having children one day. Which makes him search more for someone who would like to be a mother one day, and likes being around children.

■ Non confrontational and more of a peace keeper, Hashirama dislikes conflict even its just an argument. And he wouldn’t want an S/O that feeds into conflict or confrontations, and would seek an S/O that values peace.

■ Loyal and honest mean a great deal to him because he wants to know that he can trust and depend on his S/O to always have his back. He would also always want his S/O to be honest with him, especially when it comes to serious matters or even if they have to be his reality check.

■ Someone who likes to be affectionate and loving, because he can be overly affectionate and cuddly. And would want someone who would be open and accepting to that, being willing to cuddle with him and let him hug them.

[thespinningworldaroundus]

A day in the life of a business executive with his life turned upside down by one thing....

I am a VP of Operations. I have twenty years of experience under my belt in my industry, and people use me as a resource at my company. I have an earned reputation and my voice is taken seriously at meetings. I go to them and usually command respect with my colleagues.

I have a meeting today. I’m pitching an idea that my colleagues have praised privately. It’s well-researched and I expect it to be given a fair shake.

I walk in and lay everything out. I begin to.

During my introduction, I’m interrupted. During my introduction, for a presentation only being given by me. During the introduction. I was barely even there! They didn’t even let me make my case before giving their own comments, before they even know what the blessed message of the presentation is. Why interrupt when you don’t even understand the proposal yet?

I politely told the interrupter that I would get to his question once the presentation is over.

Midway through the proposal, I’m interrupted again. Again, I wasn’t even done. This time, it was to make a trivial correction.

I had said that the population of Puerto Rico was roughly 3 million people. My colleague, a Puerto Rican native himself, pointed out that the population was actually about 3.4 million. I didn’t find that very important, and it was a minor fact anyway. I had said roughly, anyway. Did he really have to interrupt me and make me look incompetent over a trivial misstatement? Do we have to be so perfectionistic?

As general etiquette, you don’t interrupt someone’s proposal because it takes away from their message and disrupts their train of thought. You generally save comments for the end, unless there is some urgent matter, like a safety hazard. I had never been interrupted before during a proposal for anything like this. Yet it one day it happened to me twice.

Now. For the end. I humbly expected some decent praise at the least. My colleagues had been privately cheering this proposal on for a while.

Yet. The first things I got were nitpicky questions and skepticism. A lot of what-if scenarios that supposedly might ruin the project, even some easily resolved. Some additional corrections on small facts (similar in triviality to a small difference in the population of Puerto Rico) and small misspoken statements I made.

I got modest praise. My colleagues told me they liked some aspects, but some they were unsure on. I also met a good deal of apathy. Yet these were the exact same people who had told me a few days before that the proposal was close to perfect, a gem. How had they had a night and day response today? Were they cranky from the early morning start? Was there bad news last night?

This was an internal meeting, so we all had rapport. I could speak directly in front of my colleagues. Or so I thought.

“Just a few days ago, I told many of you these same ideas and you seemed assured. Yet today some of you seem skeptical on some of this. I’m only curious. Has anything changed in our company? In our industry?”

“No.”

“Then why do you seem to have new-founded skepticism? I can accept skepticism, I just wonder why you seem to view this differently.” I was starting to get impatient.

“This is how we feel.”

I was dumbfounded. The same proposal got fairly different responses.

At the end of the meeting, I was spoken to privately by my colleagues. I was reprimanded harshly for my tone. I didn’t know why.

“Just a few days ago, I told many of you these same ideas and you seemed assured. Yet today some of you seem skeptical on some of this. I’m only curious. Has anything changed in our company? In our industry?”

That was what I said. I wasn’t trying to be defensive. I was trying to be honest. I accept constructive criticism. I don’t expect ego-gratification or acceptance of all my ideas. I understand that every business proposal will have some flaws to be smoothed over. I thought that maybe something really had changed, since I heard criticism I didn’t hear before and much less of the praise I did hear before.

My colleague said my response seemed very defensive and even sarcastic. He also said that I had been brusque or impatient at times during the presentation. He said it was an overall pattern in the way I talked and not something I did occasionally. He told me I should never show anger, even in internal meetings where I knew everyone well.

This time and I genuinely got angry. I think showing rightful anger at the right times shouldn’t just be allowed, it should be encouraged. Anger shows you care. Anger shows you are passionate. Anger shows you are righting a wrong. If my anger is justified, I’ll show enough of it.

How can you tell me I’m not allowed to show people my anger when I’m truly upset and need to make my message clear? Why was I being spoken down to and told what to do? How dare you take away my right to express myself? I was an adult.

At the end of the day. I found out that my proposal was turned down. The team told me it was pretty good, but not worth the budgeted amount it would need, which was modest anyway. I was flabbergasted and heartbroken because just a few days ago I was told it was an almost certain winner and that our company could afford things that were cost-savers in the long run (mine was pitched as such).

Something was deeply wrong. What was it? Was our industry changing? Was our company hit with bad news I never heard?

Or did it have to do with me? That would seem more logical. Did someone spread a nasty rumor about me?

I went home, crying. I looked in the mirror.

Something had changed. I had long hair. I had thick eyelashes. I had high cheekbones. I had no facial hair. I had a very different body shape and was much more petite.

I was a woman.

It hurt, but at least it all made sense. Something had changed, and it had everything to do with me.

I thought about my wife. She was an avid supporter of women’s equality. I always supported her cause in theory but thought it was silly and exaggerated.

Women were allowed to work, vote, drive, and speak their minds. We were in a very different decade. It’s illegal to discriminate based on gender, and you’ll get sued for a lot of money if you get caught doing it. Women have been CEOs, and they serve as Prime Ministers in some nations. Why do we need some silly women’s equality movement when we’re fighting in wars and we have poverty in the developing world? Isn’t it kind of trivial to spend so much time on a small issue?

Oh, how painfully wrong I was. No, we shouldn’t devote too many resources to any small issue. This was an enormous issue. It keeps women from earning money, reputation, and success. It keeps them from speaking their minds and even sometimes being treated with decency and respect. All things that you need to be happy and will suffer from depression if you don’t get enough of.

Yet I blew this issue away for years. Even though my wife, mother, sister, and female colleagues talked about these issues. I gullibly believed these issues were minor. How painfully wrong I was. Why didn’t I see it sooner?

I was in denial. An easy answer to a painful reality is to truly convince yourself it doesn’t exist. People used to do that with smoking. People truly believed it had no health hazards. No one debates anymore (although some people still smoke anyway).

I had privilege I never lost until today. When you have the privilege of not suffering something because it will never affect you personally, it’s very issue to be in denial and do nothing because you personally have no price to pay for it.

This prejudice was also subtle. No one would outright say that women should be treated differently or be discriminated against. Almost no one would say that they don’t belong in the workplace, unless maybe they have young children who need to be taken care of at home. People don’t mind 45-year old women working.

It’s still powerfully, painfully real. People have strong prejudice that is been absolutely proven through research.

Once a male resume editor switched emails with a female colleague with the same job and was suddenly questioned by his clients (the people seeking advice from him mind you. As an editor he was supposed to give them advice and critiquing, generally not the other way around). Look up Martin Schneider and Nicole Hallberg.

You know the last thing keeping me from confronting this hard truth? It was a myth in our culture.

This myth I call the three bigs. “Hard work, talent, and opportunity will earn you whatever you want. You can be President if most qualified”

We instinctively believe this. We’re told you can achieve anything you dream if you want it badly enough. Sorry, sir, or ma’am, you can’t with only that.

It needs the four bigs. “Hard work, talent, opportunity, and recognition of others”

The frustrating thing is that there is nothing you can do about how people react to you. You cannot force them to give you recognition. We are 100% dependent on other people for this.

1) A trial prosecutor can have a guilty defendant and absolute proof, yet if the jury does not take the delivery seriously, the prosecution will lose.

2) Even worse, an innocent defendant can be accused of murder and have little evidence against oneself, yet be condemned of murder and executed anyway. This will happen if the jury has severe prejudice-which has happened.

3) A business executive can give a near-perfect proposal and have it turned down, if the presenter does not have the audiences respect.

Sad? Pretty hard luck, huh? That’s the world we live in.

Trial lawyers have lost cases they should have won on based on case merit. People have been given the death penalty wrongfully because of societal prejudice (this happened to African Americans in the Deep South). Business executives have lost good deals because of audience bias.

That’s probably why we are often in denial of these difficult truths. We avoid them because they are difficult to think about! This is especially true of men, since they do not carry the burden of most sexism and do not pay a personal price for ignoring it. If you Google the polls taken of whether sexism is a serious issue and how often sexual harassment happens, you get pretty different responses from men and women.

The very good news is that we can actually-surprisingly-achieve real equality. I think we can in a generation. We need the willpower.

How? Once people are consciously aware of unconscious bias, it mostly goes away. Know your own self.

I know this from my own experience. I used to have a prejudice I’m not proud of against working class people.

I realized I often didn’t treat cashiers, receptionists, and shelf stockers at stores with a lot of respect. It was an unfortunate product of being taught that such jobs were only for young people and that working hard always led to middle class jobs. So sometimes I was brusque and impatient with people in these jobs. I didn’t really engage them when they tried to speak with me and would often talk at them not to them.

Yet one day I realized I was when I read Nickel and Dimed, a book about a woman who lived working class and discovered the treatment she never got as a respected journalist.

I stopped talking to people in retail and other working class jobs the way I used to. I was courteous to them and answered questions when they asked me them. I always listened to them instead of sometimes talking over them. I noticed that store staff suddenly warmed up to me and gave me better service! It was incredible. It proves I could do it. It only took willpower.

All I had to do was confront a difficult and sometimes ugly truth.

We can all do this.