#i trust my therapist more

[elastica1995]

i say i'm having problems sleeping since i've been taking this mood stabilizer. the nurse practitioner says do you want to try an antipsychotic. my therapist says that antipsychotic sounds like it won't help you have you considered weed gummies.

[teaboot]

I’m sending this anonymously but this is NOT anon hate

You are such a good person, i think. Your latest post(as of 4:10pm Arizona, US time) spoke to me really hard. My father is a cop, in the united states, arizona, duh. And he used to be such a good person, he was a security guard and a damn good one too, and later in he became a prison guard because it paid better, and then he joined the police force.

I’d like to think that hes one of the good ones, and for the most part he is. A lot of my delinquent friends over the years who’ve had run-ins with him say that he gets them breaks, he takes care of them, hes a good cop. I’ve even seen body camera footage of him in the field and i’m proud to say that hes my dad. He calls out bad actors where he sees them, and he gets punished for it. He doesnt see the system or how his punishments are by design. And he continues turning in his cog, begrudgingly, and slightly out of time, but he thinks hes making a difference

Sorry for the ramble and essay, i just wanted to say that i really like your blog and i think you are a very nice human being. Thank you for sharing your perspective.

P.s. i’m totally basing an oc off of your outlook on security. You strike me as more of a superhero than a security guard.

-🦕 anon

Oh, that’s a super flattering take and a valuable perspective- so thank you! But I’m a gullible dumbass, and not even an incredibly smart or fit one- I just want people to be happy and safe. That’s all. And I don’t want to BE a cop, I’ve NEVER wanted to be a cop, but every time the request comes around I feel like I’m wearing down.

I keep wondering if I could help MORE in a position like that.

Probably like your dad did.

Here, people know they’re safe with me because I shut down the gunhappy jerks, but I don’t know how long it would take to truly make a difference in public security, or how many of my morals I’d have to compromise to get to that point

I feel objectively like a system so archaic and flawed can’t be changed from the inside, but another part of me says that you don’t need to change an entire system to make a difference where it counts

I believe that so many bad situations and life-changing moments can be diverted or changed by a single person in the right place at the right time- and I figure, if I trust myself to do the right thing and BE the right person, shouldn’t I do my best to put myself in those places?

But good intentions, roads to hell, you know? I don’t WANT to be a cop. But I want to be able to DO SOMETHING about the thinks I dislike seeing in conflicts. SOMEONE has to be willing to do that, right?

I’m not religious, you know? But the devil can be very convincing

[beevean]

I think driving by myself to go nowhere would make me happy, make me feel free and accomplished.

I keep not doing it because my confidence is plummeting and getting mad when I have to drive with my mother. It's this horrible cycle of not driving because I don't feel like the car belongs to me, which is normal because I drive it once a week if I'm lucky.

I can feel myself stagnating in multiple departments and it's hard to fight back.

[sublux]

i'm so mad i don't have private insurance through an employer so i could get any kind of therapy or medication or anything. tags are a rambling rant

[gxlden-angels]

do you have any thoughts on the story of abraham and isaac? my parents talk about it and praise abraham for being willing to kill his son which..... scares me to say the least, and i'd love to hear your perspective as someone who seems more well-adjusted

Where I am now, it disgusts me more than anything. The interpretation of "I'm willing to sacrifice your life if I was told to" feels like the step before "I put you into this world and I can take you out of it." It's entitlement to a child, who is an independent individual, just because they are dependent on you for survival. I prefer the interpretation of understanding the actions you're taking and the reasons why (like how there's multiple religions that don't eat pork because it was so unsafe to eat at the time), especially if it's at someone else's expense.

Where I was in the thick of it all, it gave me morbid comfort that scares me now. I had fantasies of being a martyr for the church and the idea of being the next Isaac was just so appealing. Being a hand-selected sacrifice chosen by the Good Lord Himself? Sign me the fuck up, babey!

I think if I admitted that to my family, they'd be horrified.

It's another one of those stories or beliefs where I think the majority of christians just regurgitate what they've heard. It's a point of pride and devotion, but there's no personal reflection or cross-cultural awareness of it. Lean not unto your own understanding and whatnot. It's the potential that scares me the most, like the Quiverfull movement with the Duggars or Turpins. I'm sure there's stories now, but I can't remember them off the top of my head

(Also I will be telling my therapist someone on Tumblr called me "more well-adjusted" thank you anon)

[marsixm]

i dont rly ever acknowledge it outside of the moment but man so much of my job rly is just emotionally supporting a ton of my coworkers and im happy to be there for them but sometimes i wish it wasnt only me. idk. i dont rly have a point just reflecting

[goldkirk]

I DON'T HAVE TO LIE ANYMORE!

[kalgalen]

.

[lover-of-mine]

Hi, I'm sorry in advance if I'm crossing a line here. But I just wanted to know, is there a reason why the replies for your posts are blocked? Most times I wanted to leave comments on your swat posts and I just couldn't

To make a very long and complicated story short, there was this one person who I kept trying to block everywhere on the internet who kept taking advantage of the way all you have to do is create another blog to go around the Tumblr block to talk me, so I kinda blocked this blog all around to try and minimize the chances of them doing something, and while they haven't tried to contact me in a while, I don't feel comfortable opening up the possibility they might show up. Imma be honest, it was hard for me to even open anon asks for a while there. I know it sucks that everything is closed, but the idea they might try to talk to me again is beyond uncomfortable for me, so I can't make myself change those settings.

[antiyourwokehomophobia2]

The way I'm genuinely starting to feel like I should keep my attractions to myself.

[autistic-katara]

there r fics that make u insane (so amazingly good it’s removed ur sanity) and then there’s fics that make u insane (you need to fistfight the author for how they did a specific thing that caused u to rant for hours)

[sluttish-armchair]

Ok but thinking back to how I was in elementary and middle school: I had such disdain for other kids who broke the rules, that I irrationally hated a whole bunch of kids — kids I would have made good friends with — all because I couldn’t stand the fact that they engaged in conflicts with, and affronts to authority figures or standards.

It even went as far as internally mocking a kid my age — calling him “Mama’s Boy” in my head — over the fact that his mother whispered comments into his ear, which he mumbled unintelligibly into the mic, and then would fall asleep as if dead on her arm. I perceived his inability to give comments on his own, and his sleeping, as moral failings of both mother and child; because I wasn’t raised like that. And maybe, those feelings also came from jealousy. I was expected to fight off sleep all the time because I could read at a college level in third grade, and could theoretically understand the material presented at the meetings despite it still being inappropriate for my age group.

I was so far deep into the “bad associations spoil useful habits” mindset that it made me hate my fellow neurodivergents — kids I would have been friends with — who maybe couldn’t hide it as well as I could. That is beyond fucked up. Now, I work with those very kids I disliked so much as a child, and guess what? They are my absolute favorite people to be around; and many of them remind me of myself.

[lapdogchase]

therapy question for my friends in my computer, Specifically people w trauma, dissociative disorders, more stigmatized disorders in general, people who've been labelled "treatment resistant," etc. What type of therapy r u in and Does it help . bc cbt absolutely has not worked for me and idrk what to look into. i was in dbt when i was younger and that helped, and ive heard good things abt emdr (also bad things but we stay silly), but does any one have thoughts , advice, etc Bc i have got to get back in therapy at some point soon And preferably something long term

[brinnanza]

the fact that the genetic lottery rolled sensory processing issues severe enough that just regular chilling hanging out existing in my physical human body can be so overwhelming I am too exhausted to do basic tasks is a real fuckin snake eyes situation there is a lot about autism that I truly love and am genuinely grateful for but ripping all the labels off the sensory knobs and givin em a random spin is not fucking one of them

[quietintellectualginger]

really wishing there was some way to get away from my parents rn

and in general

I don’t wanna be stuck around them

I wanna feel safe

[gxlden-angels]

Hey, hey dude I hate to be the bearer of bad news but uh, your boy is being killed in your own graphic. Like he's actively being murdered....yea idk what to tell you dude he's like Dead dead there