#i told some people i know and they all thought it was funny

[cvnt4him]

I think tobios the kind of guy to really REALLY be in love with his first love. I mean this guy would be obsessed with whoever took his virginity, I solely believe that.

He literally would be so in love with you without even noticing. He would love being close to you, he'd get all smiley with you and y'know his smile isn't all that but when he's genuine with it, it's the prettiest thing to see on him.

Holding his face and peppering kisses on him in front of the team, Hinata and tsukishima teasing him for it. He groans but ultimately loves it. He loves you.

When you met his sister she was kind of scary. She had this unapproachable look about her, there was so much stress and pressure to be good and great for his family. But she was actually really sweet, really interesting and a genuinely great sister for the most part.

His grandfather was absolutely hilarious and tobio wouldn't admit it to you or anyone else, but it meant a lot to him that his grandfather actually took a liking toward you. The way you unintentionally made his grandfather crack up at your occasional mishaps on your words and the weird little sounds you made when you realized you fucked up your sentence, or when you sounded so robotic to remember the interesting things you told yourself you were interested in for the sake of his grandfather.

I like to think kageyama is REALLY emotionally constipated to the point he knows NOTHING....about love or even being interested/attracted to someone. He gains such a genuine attraction towards you, it physically hurts him. He can't help but to groan in some sort of annoyance when he sees you because he knows his body betrays him. It always makes it clear that he's happy to have you around.

Whether he becomes a flushed mess, his stupid cheeks filling with blood and getting all warm and red. His ear become impossibly warm as well, he swears he can't even hear you speaking to him. Or whether it be his eyes wandering down to your lips, his thoughts thinking about how he loves it when you kiss him. He prefers those quick kisses you give, to him those are more than enough. His eyes began to trail all over your body, his mind thinking about every part of your body they stop on

His eyes move to your hands, goodness does he love holding them. He really does. When he holds your hand I think he would often squeeze them for a little, like you could just be hiding hands and a for the most part gentle squeeze comes out of nowhere. He holds it in a tight grasp like that for a while before the tightness retreats.

It's so sweet really. You call his name and his blue eyes shoot right back up to yours, kageyama doesn't shy away from anyone but damn why did you have to look at him like that with those stupid fucking eyes of yours..

You offered him a genuine warm smile, your eyes creasing a bit as your smile met them a small chuckle leaving you as you watch him fail to keep eye contact with you. He had a silly little pout on his face as his brows furrowed and his cheeks warmed.

You sigh at your silly boy and pull him into a hug, it was mostly you hugging him. Wrapping your arms around his body as he stiffly stood in your grasp, you give him a long squeeze and groan slightly. You pull away and grab his face pulling his down, with his face in your hands he takes a moment to really feel your hands the softness of them on his cheeks and how he could smell perfume on your wrists.

You give him a couple of kisses on his face causing him to squeeze his eyes shut and groan lightly. He slowly fluttered his eyes open to leer down at you. He's so tall even when you pull him down to level with you.

“ I love you, tobio..”

You whisper to him, clearly not quiet enough because you can hear people snickering behind you. You kiss his nose one final time, you can see the way he's mentally cursing you with his mind. He hates that you had to do this in front of them. He loves you, he swears he does. He may have a funny way of showing it but he genuinely loves you.

“ ...mmn... love...you too..”

Tobio made damn sure he said it quiet enough. He refused to let them hear him say that.

Trust after being with you for a long time he gets out of that. He doesn't care who hears him say he loves you. He's so happy that he's had you for this long.

[moonsgemini]

cherry wine pt. 3 - firefighter!rafe

* ✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩ ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻*ੈ✩‧₊˚ ✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩ ₊˚ ⋅

summary: After a couple weeks you & Rafe finally get to see each other again. He invites you over & makes you dinner & you know the perfect way to thank him. Of course it only ignites the mutual obsession.

warning: firefighter!rafe x teacher!reader, fem reader, fluff, two people obsessed with each other, oral (m. rec), dirty talk, rafe being sexy

an: hi! sorry this took so long & it’s on the shorter side. I promise the next part will come much sooner. Ugh I feel like this isn’t my best work. Also this can kinda be read as a stand alone.

masterlist ★ part one - part two

* ✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩ ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻*ੈ✩‧₊˚ ✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩ ₊˚ ⋅

It had been a couple weeks since your first date with Rafe and since then you’d seen each other a couple times sporadically. It was only ever for a few minutes though. He’d be just getting off a sixteen hour shift and meeting you for ice cream or you’d stop by the station and drop off baked goods. His busy schedule and yours didn’t allow for much free time.

Occasionally he’d leave treats at your front door before he went off to work. A hot coffee and a muffin or a scone to help you get through the day. Sometimes even a small bouquet of flowers and a cute note, that particularly made your heart flutter.

The two of you texted practically all day, sometimes he’d call you on his way home if it wasn’t too late and you weren’t lesson planning or grading. It was nice to not feel so obligated to see someone you were dating every day.

At least you think you guys are dating. Actually you don’t know what the two of you are doing. You wouldn’t consider one date to be dating. But every thing since then has felt so much like dating.

He wasn’t shy about letting you know how much he liked you in turn neither were you. He was the first guy to not make you feel embarrassed about your over flowing feelings.

When he let you know that he had a few days off coming up you made sure to get as much work done before then. Yeah you did like the idea of still having your space but you couldn’t deny that you missed him. Plus trying to catch up on lesson plans, grading, and parent conferences all week had run you ragged. You could use some alone time with a hot firefighter.

The thought of seeing him again made those butterflies flutter. It may be possible that you actually had missed him a lot. Not only had you missed his smile, jokes, and his attentiveness but you also missed his mouth and his hands. The smell of his cologne made you want to lick him.

What he had done to you the last time you’d seen each other replayed in your head whenever you had a spare moment. You hadn’t felt so wanted in so long that having him just wanting to taste you and being satisfied with that made you all the more desperate for him. He was truly the first real man you’d been with and you can’t even imagine what he’d be like during sex.

Rafe invited you over to his place so he could make you dinner. From what you had told him he could tell you had a long busy week. He made sure to promise you there’d be cherry wine of course.

It was a Friday and he had the day off so he had spent the day cleaning his condo and getting everything for dinner ready. He even bought some of your favorite snacks you had mentioned in conversation in case you wanted some while watching a movie later.

A part of him hoped you’d want to sleep over, it’d be nice to not sleep alone for once. He decided on cooking steak since that’s what he knew best. He was just a man after all.

He was a bit nervous. Which was a new feeling for Rafe. He didn’t typically miss people and usually that was because he didn’t stick around long enough to know anyone like that. It was a defense mechanism but there was something about you that made him want more. It wasn’t just how good you tasted and looked but it was how easy it felt to talk to you. Rafe thought you were funny, smart, and he liked how you played along with his teasing.

-

After school was over and you touched up your makeup in your classroom. You even changed into a tank top that was a bit revealing and your favorite pants that made your ass look fantastic. You didn’t want to waste anymore time away from him so as soon as you finished you headed out to his place.

That feeling of missing him so much should scare you but you liked it. You liked missing Rafe and you liked that you knew he missed you. With him everything felt real and you didn’t question your feelings or if you were being too eager.

You had to send the principal a fruit basket or something for continuing to insist the firefighter come every year. A few days ago you found out they almost didn’t do it this year but it all worked out. You can’t imagine not meeting Rafe now that you know him.

He didn’t live too far from the school so the drive was relatively short. You had texted him when you left school and since then he had been waiting outside for your arrival. When he saw your car pull up he walked down his driveway to meet you.

Being the gentleman that he is he opened your door for you, that smirk never falling from his lips. You loved him in date attire and his work uniform but him dressed like this. In a sweatshirt and grey sweatpants was making you swoon. He looked so domesticated you would get on your knees for him right here in the driveway.

“Hi,” You said bashfully as you stepped out. Every time you saw him it felt like the first time. Still occasionally turning into a pile of bashful mush around him.

“Hi,” He shut your door and placed a hand on the small of your back leading you up the driveway.

“Been waiting for me?” You teased.

He nodded, “Of course. Been thinking about you all day.” The heat creeped up your neck at his earnestness.

“You’re not shy about what you want huh?” You teased.

He shook his head with a smirk, “Then how would I always get what I want?”

You scoffed as he opened the door letting you in first, “I don’t know if cocky is a good look on you Cameron.”

He laughed, “Not cocky just confident,” he shut the door and gently put his hand on your stomach pushing you back against the door, “And I always get what I want.” Rafe leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss to your mouth.

It was like finally breathing fresh air when your lips met for the first time in a while. You would make out with him all night right there if you could, but he pulled away with a grin.

After gathering yourself you laughed and gently shoved him, “You’re dangerous.”

-

His condo was nice. It was clean and had as much decor as a man in his 20s with a demanding job can have. There were a couple frames pictures on a shelf. They looked to be his sisters he had mentioned a few times. At least you didn’t have to worry about him secretly having a family.

In the living room he had set up blankets on the couch and candles on his coffee table. It was cute how he wanted to set the romantic mood. To top it off he had Netflix open ready to have a movie played.

You sat on one of the stools on the breakfast bar as you watched him cook. He wanted to wait till you were here so the food was hot. It smelled delicious. If he could cook good food you were never letting him get away. He was almost too good to be true.

The way his back muscles flexed under his white tee shirt had your mouth watering. You wanted to bite him. The two of you made casual conversation about your week. It was weird how his ability to multitask made you more attracted to him.

“You wanna pick a movie while I plate?” He asked turning to you with a smirk.

You agreed and walked over to the living room. As you scrolled Rafe got the wine glasses and opened a bottle. He walked over to you with two plates and glasses.

“Wow, thank you chef,” You teased helping him with the plates.

“Don’t say that too much now you’ll turn me on,” He laughed but was being completely serious.

“Maybe I will then,” You smirked.

-

A bottle and a half of wine later the two of you were settled on the couch not particularly paying attention to the movie playing. It was a romcom you had suggested and obviously Rafe wasn’t going to say no. The pair of you couldn’t keep your mouths shut talking about anything and everything.

It felt so natural laying with you and talking. Everything from the outside world disappeared and Rafe could just focus on you and making you laugh. A sound he had grown to admire. The sound warmed his chest and made him want to pinch your cheeks. It was scary how fast he had become obsessed with you.

He hoped the feeling was mutual but by your body language he’s sure it is. Seeing Rafe relaxed in his own space was doing something to you. The alcohol in your blood stream not helping either. It didn’t help that he also couldn’t keep his hands off of you. Not even inna sexual way but it was still lighting you on fire.

His warm heavy hand had been resting on your thigh and he’d squeeze it occasionally. If he saw your hair move in front of your face he’d be quick to tuck it behind your ear. He even fed you some of your steak and used his thumb to wipe the corner of your mouth. Then he had the audacity put his thumb in his mouth to taste what was on your mouth and hum. You’re convinced he was put on this earth to torture you.

It finally became too much when he grabbed one of your legs and draped if over his. His hand began to trace circle on your inner thigh. Moving higher up every few minutes.

You set your empty glass on the table and turned fully towards Rafe. Both of your legs across his lap now. He didn’t notice your change in demeanor as he looked forward and went on about this show he saw with the main guy in it.

“Then he like asks her-“

“Rafe?” You interrupted.

He turned to you with a small grin, “Hm?”

“Thanks for dinner and everything,” You spoke softly.

His lips lifted in a crooked boyish smile, “Of course sweetheart.”

You reached out and rested a hand on his chest, “I think I need to thank you properly.”

Rafe could hear the innuendo in your statement and he was loving where this was going. He maneuvered you as a surprised sound left you when he placed you on his lap to straddle him. His hands now resting on your hips and yours on his shoulders.

“How would you do that hm?”

You shrugged feigning contemplation, “A kiss maybe.”

He raised a brow, “Oh yeah?”

You nodded and leaned forward closing the gap between you. Rafe pulled you closer so your chests were pressed together. He groaned as his body lit up feeling your weight on him. Your hands moved up his chest to grip the strands of hair at the back of his head.

Rafe’s hands gripped anywhere he could reach. The way he manhandled you had your underwear getting damp. He pulled away but only to press open mouthed kisses on your neck. He moved one of his hands into your hair and gently tugged at it to expose more skin. He could just eat you up.

The small whines and soft sighs you were letting out made his dick swell. He mumbled something about how good you taste before his lips slotted with yours again.

After a couple minutes of kissing and you may have started grinding against his bulge. As if you could stay still while feeling just how much he wanted you, but you had something else in mind for tonight. Especially since he’s already been so giving to you, so gently pushed his chest as you pulled away.

“Hm? What’s wrong?” He asked hazily. Rafe was drunk on you.

You giggled and shook your head, “Nothin I just think there’s something else I could be doing with my mouth.”

His eyes widened a bit surprised but it was quickly replaced by excitement. Now usually Rafe is a giver and he doesn’t mind not receiving. Like the last time you were together he got off just on making you cum, but he wasn’t going to stop you if you wanted to suck him off.

“Yeah? Feel free to show me,” He rubbed his hands up and down her sides.

“oh I will,” You smiled softly before leaning in and placing a kiss on his jaw. Moving down to his neck as your hands ducked under his shirt to feel the hard muscles of his abdomen.

Soon you were kneeling on the floor and your hands were fumbling a but as you tugged at his sweatpants. He helped you pull them off and he sprung free from the confines.

You’re not particularly fond of the way dick’s look but Rafe’s was one you could appreciate. No other guy had one this pretty, was it weird to think it’s pretty? you thought as you leaned forward. Never breaking eye contact with him as you gave his head a tentative lick.

That alone had him throwing his head back with a groan. Your mouth wrapped around his head. Rafe was going to explode with how warm and wet your mouth was you gently sucked on him.

Inch by inch you took him in deeper. Your head bobbing up and down at a slow pace to start. Once Rafe felt himself hit the back of your throat his hips stuttered. He was doing everything in his power not to thrust into your mouth.

“Fuck baby you look so good like this,” He groaned as he looked down. You looked like an angel with his cock in your mouth and doe eyes looking up at him. Your hand holding what you couldn’t fit in your mouth. Drool was starting to fall from your mouth. He felt your throat constrict around him as you sped up your pace.

“So pretty with my cock in your mouth,” He continued praising you once he saw how his words made you rub your thighs together. You hoped he hadn’t noticed that but he did.

You hummed softly around him. The vibrations adding to his pleasure. Rafe wrapped one hand around your hair to create a makeshift pony tail as your motions became sloppier.

“Getting me so close,” He sighed, “Feels like heaven in your mouth.”

One of your hands reach between him to fondle his balls. This is what got him closer to the edge.

“Dirty girl eh?” He gripped your hair a little tighter, “You’re so hot I could cum just by looking at your face.”

He felt you gag around him and that is what tipped him over, “Fuck I’m gonna cum baby.” He thrusted his hips upwards fucking your mouth. Not too hard obviously but it was enough to finally push him over the edge.

“Fuck fuck fuck,” He chanted and groaned as you took him as deep as possible as the his cum shot down your throat.

You pulled off of him with a pop and wipes your mouth with the back of your hand. Your cheeks felt hot as you thought about what just happened. Rafe had his head thrown back with his eyes closed as he still worked on catching his breath.

“Was that okay?” You asked a bit shyly. Rafe let out a choked laugh

“Fucking better than okay,” He laughed as he peered down at you. You laughed softly and he leaned down to pull you back on to his lap. With you on top of him he maneuvered his sweatpants back on.

Rafe pulled you in and kissed you. His tongue invading your mouth. You’re thinking he surely must taste himself but not care. That thought left you even more damp. Your thighs clenching around his hips.

You pulled away and leaned your forhead against his as you softly spoke, “Rafe I really like you.”

He stroked your cheek with his thumb as he held your face, “I really like you too.” You let out a breathy laugh feeling like a giddy school girl.

He pulled away to look at you properly, “Want to stay the night? We don’t have to do anything else.”

You nodded before he could even finish, “I’d love to stay.”

[my-rose-tinted-glasses]

It's the start of the jql drought and I'm not doing well friends. March is gonna be a month of jbl rewatches for me.

QL - Currently Watching

🇹🇼 Exclusive Love [4/12] - Once again, I'm here for the sides. I can't help it, I love a pining bestie, and I got two here. I'm not really connecting to the mains for some reason. It seems to be a thing with me and Taiwan lately.

🇰🇷 FC Soldout [7/8] - This show is not great. But honestly, they are all so endearing. And I love that Gang Jae finally told him. That was a very nice moment. And of course we are watching a show with gay footballers so a kiss on the field was obligatory, but in the middle of the game? In front of everyone? Also, is there really only one more ep? I think we need more. Just keep changing some players every once in a while and we could have this show on forever.

🇹🇭 GelBoys [3/7] - Oh the teenage angst... They are too young to know better so I can empathize, but they are also so mean to each other. I loved the change in pov, although there were more similarities than they were differences. I said it before but I'm so grateful I didn't have to go through any of this in this technology era. It looks exhausting. Can't wait to see more of Baabin tomorrow.

🇹🇼 Impression of Youth [8/9] - I'm just not vibing with this one. The pacing is weird, it feels rushed at times, it feels disconnected, and I just don't find any the couples all that compelling. I'm just not feeling it.

🇹🇭 Ossan's Love Th [8/12] - It's bonkers, it's funny and it's cute. Since I haven't seen the original, I can only judge by what is there. And it's fun. I love EarthMix and they deliver the couple moments like few others. And Mix is as perfect as ever. But it's not without its issues. Which for the moment I'm choosing to ignore. Thor is so pretty.

🇹🇭 Perfect 10 Liners [18/24] - Faifa and Wine are one of the most interesting pairs I've seen in a while. It was funny to see a boy entering the bubble in real time. And Faifa. He's such a kinda soul, and trying so hard to keep it all in for the benefits of others. I'm liking this final arc so far.

🇹🇭 Reverse With Me [4/8] - I'm liking this one a lot. The leads are really good together, for now the fantasy element is solid, and the visuals are stunning. I hope this one can keep it up till the end.

🇰🇷 Secret Relationships [2/8] - I'm a sucker for the kdrama look. It's so minimal and clean and shiny. As usual, I have my doubts this kind of messy setup can be done well in 8 eps but I wanna believe. Seong Hyun is very endearing and I really hope Da On can fall for the nice guy. Waiting to see more before I can say anything else, but I hate a bunch of these people already.

🇹🇭 The Boy Next World [5/10] - It's really parallel worlds, uh? I think the funniest thing about this is how I was genuinely surprised by a 'twist' that was revealed in the first episode. I don't expect a lot from this show, so I'm gonna refrain from saying much about it until the end.

🇹🇭 Thame·Po [12/13] - Please please please, stick the landing. This episode felt like a bridge, to hopefully deliver a solid finale. I like the group went to Po. It feels very full circle moment. Now. Thame, come here! You need to pick up that phone. Please. He didn't read the letter before. He didn't know. You are wanted, you are loved. 😢

QL - Finished

🇯🇵 Call Me by No-Name - That was a pretty show I watched.

🇰🇷 Heart Stain - I feel like I missed something cause to me this was just incredibly banal. And time skip my beloathed. I just didn't feel anything.

🇨🇳 I'll Turn Back This Time - The world building was a mess. It was mostly whatever served the moment. It made no sense. And even the happy ending didn't really feel good.

🇹🇼 A Perfect Match - I can't believe I watched this.

🇹🇭 The Heart Killers - Joong was really great.

🇹🇭 Sangmin Dinneaw - Final thoughts here.

🇯🇵 When It Rains, It Pours - This could've been great, but what I'm left with is a show that wanted to tell a complex and layered story but didn't have the time to actually tell the whole story. So it told bits of a good story. There's a lot I could say but I'm don't really wanna dwell on it atm. It was a big disappointment.

QL - Dropped / On Hold Waiting to hear - 🇹🇭 Us | Waiting to binge - 🇹🇼 Eternal Butler

Non QL - Finished

🇰🇷 The Trauma Code | 🇯🇵 Tokimeki Bakudan | 🇰🇷 Study Group | 🇯🇵 Red Blue

Upcoming - March 02/03- 🇹🇭 Last Meal Universe MDL | Trailer 12/03 - 🇹🇭 My Golden Blood MDL | Trailer 12/03 - 🇹🇭 Lost in the Woods MDL 20/03- 🇹🇭 Top Form MDL | Trailer 28/03- 🇹🇭 Heesu in Class 2 MDL

Well, that's it for now. Happy carnival to all who celebrate, and to the rest, have a wonderful weekend. My ask box is always open. Also if anyone reads this and makes edits of any of the shows I'm watching please use my tag #rosytracks. Thanks💜

[urween]

Bloody Lamb | Bucky Barnes x ftm!reader | english version

summary: Bucky would never have imagined that his neighbor was carrying a heavy load on his shoulders. However, he discovers scars on the latter, and thus his vision changes radically.

notes: the temporality is located in a mix of beginning and end of FATWS series; reader operated on the torso

⚠︎ warnings: strong mention/description of mutilation and scars, mention of dysphoria, traumas linked to Hydra

special thanks and credits to @sparrow-the-tired-lesbian who nicely helped me with this story's translation because it was originally written in french, my native language.

french version here

- 1 804 words - 2nd person description

You were just next-door neighbors. He knew you by sight, knew how to define your silhouette and your height, as he could do with his other neighbors. Maybe he also recognized your voice when it echoed in the common corridor, like when Mrs. Jones shouted at her cats running away on the landing. He knew you without knowing you, that fine line that separated so many things and that was not held by anything. Maybe an insistent look from you would turn the weather vane, maybe not. But he knew all his neighbors because whether he wanted to or not he retained the information that emerged from individuals. A soldier had to be able to identify his victims in a crowd. He kept marks, more or less deep cracks that interfered with his daily life. If he hadn’t been the Winter Soldier, surely his mind would never have noticed Mrs. Jones’ slight limp, the smell that came out of Larry’s every Tuesday night, or the particular timbre of your voice. But he did it with everyone, you weren’t special. It would have been special if he could recognize the shoes you wore based on the wet marks left on your soles, the habit you had of always putting your cell phone in your left pocket, or the song you’d been listening to on repeat for the past few days. Then, you would have been special. More than a neighbor on the landing, you could have been his little obsession, the main object of a tease from his friend Sam for example. But that wasn’t the case until now.

“I’m lucky to have you,” the old man murmured.

Yori Nakajima was the neighbor you got along with best. Funny, sweet, and welcoming, you immediately felt at ease with him. Brooklyn was a big city and you had only been here for a short time, so Yori had helped you get familiar with the surroundings. In exchange, you would go see him once or twice a week. You talked most of the time, he would tell you about his youth and the kindness of his late son, and sometimes he would even teach you how to play Go.

"You have more and more fans," you smiled, pointing to a bouquet in the corner of the living room.

As he had done with you, Nakajima often helped young people who were a little lost. He gave them the support they needed so that they could then explore the city on their own. Over the years, he ended up having a small reputation in the neighborhood, and many of his old friends still came to visit him.

"These are irises, my favorite," he explained to you, "a neighbor brought me some this morning."

You leaned over to the coffee table to pour yourself some more tea. The wafting scent of the flowers reached you as you let your back rest against the back of the chair again.

"I thought you had a girlfriend."

Yori chuckled as much as his great age allowed him, nodding to thank you for the tea.

"I'm quite alone, and you and the others keep me company," he confided to you before changing the subject, "but I had an idea about that."

You saw the question coming before the old man could even open his mouth again.

"No, no lovers for me Yori, I already told you," you sighed with a smile.

"You're going off on a tangent right away, who told you I was going to talk about love?” He explained to get your attention again, “I simply think it would be good for you to make friends, and the young man I'm talking about would be a great match for you."

He had been trying for two or three weeks to get you to meet new people because according to him you were too lonely. However, you had explained to him the reasons for this social distancing, he had understood, while suffering too. But he said that time always healed wounds and smoothed out the deep cracks, that you had to open yourself up to life to enjoy it. You understood that, really, but the stability you had finally managed to find couldn't be destroyed, you didn't want to have to rebuild everything.

“You two look a lot alike,” Yori’s wise voice echoed one last time, “hiding in your burrows.”

They weren't fluorescent, or noisy. They didn't attract attention, going unnoticed. Yet one glance at them and the decibels in the room exploded for you. In the past, you would never have imagined that scars could be so talkative. But they were, they proudly recounted their heavy sorrows to remind you that nothing was ever acquired. Everything could disappear overnight, everything could collapse in a fraction of a second. One wrong step, and you would fall back. The wrong person and all your efforts would be reduced to nothing. Living alone wasn't easy every day, but this way you avoided mistakes. No one could predict the reaction of a stranger, while yours was controllable. You knew what not to do, not to mention, the others didn't know it and by the time they understood it could already be too late.

Yori knew about your operation, he knew that you had two beautiful scars on your chest, but it had taken time. It had taken you time. The old man didn't know more, he guessed the darkness that you kept to yourself but he knew someone else in your case, and talking about it didn't always help. Other people knew about your trans identity, you couldn't hide it and you didn't want to anyway. But it remained there, no one went beyond that barrier.

It had also taken you time to let your other scars out in the open. But you quickly realized that no one noticed them. They weren't fluorescent or noisy to them. Hidden on your thighs, dull enough that a curious eye would simply think they were stretch marks. Who would have paid attention? For this reason, you could once again appreciate any clothing revealing these marks. You could wear a simple t-shirt or sweatshirt as pajamas with boxers, and take out the trash in this outfit. You rarely ran into anyone, and even if you did, they didn't pay attention.

However, you didn't expect to come face-to-face with your neighbor on the landing. A man – quite attractive, it had to be admitted – about your age who had a mysterious aura around him since you arrived, as well as gloves. You suspected Yori of wanting to set you up with him, that it was the famous "young man with irises". He came to see your friend very often, you had even crossed paths with them at the bar downstairs from your place the other day. Barnes, that was his name, you had read it on the mailbox next to yours. You didn't know anything more about him and it had never bothered you.

"Good evening,” your neighbor's grainy voice echoed.

You smiled at him, murmuring a polite formula in return, as the rules of society required. With your trash bag in hand, you opened the brown storage lid before throwing your waste in. You didn't expect anything else, there was nothing more to expect, you didn't know each other. So you turned around, smiling at him kindly before closing the exterior door of the building.

But he didn't move, his eyes fixed on the void that a few seconds before had been filled by your thighs. You had scars.

Overnight, you became special. He recognized your footprints, your habits, and your songs. His ears picked up without his consent the slightest noises that passed through the barrier of the walls separating you.

Bucky had seen many scars, first as an American soldier, then as the Winter Soldier. The memories had taken time to come back but those linked to Hydra had never left. Eyelids closed, he still saw those distorted smiles, those pulsing veins. He still saw all those innocents repatriated to these basements as he had been, he saw them gradually lose hope. He still saw the last traces of life leave their lively eyes, he still heard their screams. Closing his eyes, he imagined himself again lying on the camp bed that had been assigned to him. He could imagine again the thoughts that crossed his mind, the last ones seeming to belong to him. I hope they die, he said to himself at the time, regarding his future peers, I hope they never see what I see. Death was a beautiful escape from the prisons of Hydra. If he could have, he would have succumbed to it, but he had been too precious.

He had seen many scars, but never like yours. A torn face, a leg in pieces, or a dog bite were endured, not chosen.

The metal weapon that served as his arm had not been chosen by him at the start. The red star that had adorned it had been imposed on him. The arm he wore today had been chosen by him, but the wound that caused it was nothing but torture. Whether it was an accident or a voluntary act, scars had never been anything but torture in his eyes. Why inflict them on ourselves? Why cut our flesh with our own hands?

They were dull, almost completely blending into your skin, but he had seen them. They had jumped out at him.

He wasn't a nurse, much less a doctor, but he knew how to recognize these kinds of things. It wasn't a cat or some accident that had caused these marks, it was you alone. The place, the depth, the angle. It was mutilation, and he had strangely never seen that.

By dint of seeing only horrors, deaths, attacks, and more, Bucky ended up forgetting the others. Those who suffered without showing it, who cried in silence. Not everyone had an arm missing or purple skin to show their misfortunes. He had the example of Yori, but he had never noticed that in you. Unconsciously, he liked imagining a happy being living next to him, maybe you could have contaminated him? But he forgot that even the gentlest of lambs had suffered.

He wanted to get to know you, he needed to know you

images : Pinterest

dividers : @/thecutestgrotto, @/strangergraphics and @/pommecita

[leo-and-me]

texted the set photographer from Leo and Me and this is how dude texted me back all this time later

[biblically-accurate-dca]

KILL!!!!!!!!!

[archivalofsins]

Thanks @doctorbunny for helping me find the source to answer this,

"Is it said that the staff thought Mahiru would be forgiven in trial one, or?"

Well not by the entire staff but Yamanaka and Deco themselves said they hadn't anticipated Mahiru being found guilty within the Milgram Second Anniversary Stream that was translated by Maristelina,

Yamanaka: Ahh… I don’t know about Deco-san, but in my mind I kind of had a hunch about if this person would be forgiven, or if they wouldn’t be forgiven. I was wrong about 2 people. Amami: Wow, two people? Lounsbery: Can we ask who? Yamanaka: Hmm what should I do? Maybe just one… hm, what to do? Lounsbery: We want to know at least one Yamanaka: Should I do it? What should I do… Umm Amami: Hey, tell us Yamanaka: Um… Mahiru Amami: Oh… Mahiru-chan Lounsbery: Did it surprise you? Yamanaka: Well, not surprised per se, but I pictured that she would be forgiven in the beginning. How about you Deco-san? From a composer perspective. Like did you have a feel for whether a song would lean towards being forgiven, or not forgiven?

This is also the same livestream where they assert that the prisoners cover songs are unrelated,

Deco: Mahiru. Amami: So it’s Mahiru Deco: I thought the result would be the opposite. It was unexpected. The song itself was cheerful, cute, a girl in love. Amami: The comments are saying her voice drama was scary Deco: I guess she has this something that’s seeping out of her, and that’s scaring people. Amami: I’ve been told that it’s unrelated, but I’m pretty sure her cover song is also influencing the results. Yamanaka: It’s totally unrelated. Deco: Covers of Deco*27’s songs are completely unrelated. Unrelated.

So, neither Yamanaka or Deco expected Mahiru to be found guilty trial one but they also didn't anticipate one other prisoner getting the verdict they received trial one. Yamanaka and Deco noted this in regards to Milgram,

Deco: We’ll talk more about the second trial later, but I just want to say that it’s so fun to produce contents for Milgram. We receive votes from everyone who’s sending us comments right now, and we come up with new ideas based on those votes. Milgram isn’t only made by the people sitting here, but also by the viewers. I felt it’s a very fresh take, and I had a lot of fun Yamanaka: We can’t prepare the screenplay or music beforehand. It really feels like a free-style rap based on the answers we get from everyone. Amami: True true Deco: It’s a lot of hard work Yamanaka: Like if that’s how you’re gonna come at us, then we’ll add these factors in. I have that side to me and I’m sure Deco-san does too, like adding new information or setting. That’s also a part of the fun over the last two years.

Milgram has been very reactionary in hindsight. It's kind of funny to look back on this livestream now,

Lounsbery: I really think writing scenarios is a difficult job. Plus people speculate and write their own theories on how things are going to turn out. Do you ever feel like you never want to make those theories come true? Yamanaka: Yup. The story progression has already been decided though. Lounsbery: Of course Yamanaka: It’s already been decided, and most of the time I already have a feel for how people are going to guess, and what kind of speculation will be born. But there are times when I see something that comes from a completely different angle, and I feel tempted to direct the story that way because it’s so interesting. That’s how diverse the minds of our audience are from all walks of life and various parts of the world, and I feel great value in our contents.

There were also more discussions on the prisoners verdicts some highlights to me are,

Yamanaka: Arthur-sensei, what was your view on Milgram? Yamanaka: Arthur-sensei, what was your view on Milgram? Lounsbery: I think it comes down to, “Ah, so this person is forgiven while this person isn’t?” I had a lot of thoughts about that. We can see the changes in the votes in real time, so I wondered at what point did people have changes of heart. At first you can have this person with majority votes, but before you realize, the other person has more votes. I’m guessing that’s due to everyone changing their minds as the speculations are updated. I want to peek into the thoughts of everyone who follows the websites that post speculations and theories. Like why did they decide they could no longer forgive certain issues.

"It’s ok for everyone else but not for me."

Yamanaka: But was there anything that turned out differently than you expected? Deco: Kotoko has a scene in her MV that shows her clearly beating someone, yet she was the most forgiven character, and that was unexpected for me. Like, why?

24/07/05 (Mu’s Birthday)

Mu: You know, I think this is all your fault really. Everyone’s on edge because you lashed out. And because of that, nobody’s paying attention to me any more. It’s kinda boring. I don’t get it. Kotoko: ……you went out of you way to say that to my face? Aren’t you scared of me? The next target of my fangs might be you. Mu: Why? Kotoko-san, aren’t you punishing the bad guys? I didn’t do anything wrong. And anyway, fufu, you’re talking like you’re fine too. Aren’t you gonna be not forgiven too this time? What will you do then?Start biting yourself? Fufu, that’s hilarious. I want to watch. Kotoko: ……you’re good at provoking people. I’ll pray that you won’t be forgiven this time. When that time comes, I’ll be sure to crush you.

"But, I must say, the current situation within this prison is directly influenced by the fact that she was once found “innocent”."

Yamanaka: Like Deco-san mentioned earlier, instead of those with blatant depictions like Haruka and Kotoko, those without any depictions, like Mahiru, are less likely to be forgiven. It’s interesting how people approach Milgram

"What I saw was... Just you having fun."

I'm sure you were in love. Your feelings of bliss were conveyed to me as well. "Right? It was really fun- Did it make you want to fall in love?" No clue about that one. "Heh, you're so cold~. So, how... does that correlate to me not being forgiven?"

It was so unexpected that there's an error in the second trial commencement notice that literally contradicts itself by saying,

"Your judgment was “guilty”, and as such, her ideas were affirmed. Because she was found “guilty”, she’s lost the raison d’etre of her own existence."

So yeah those are all the reasons I'm pretty sure they didn't expect Mahiru to be guilty trial one.

What do you think a Trial 1 Innocent Mahiru would be like?

I know this is going to be short but if anyone wants to know what a trial one innocent Mahiru would look like they just have to look at Mu. I was discussing this in a server I'm in but there are three choices when it comes to the prisoners verdicts,

Say nothing (Don't engage. Leave them be.) Guilty/Don't Forgive (Reject, Restrict, Restrain.) Innocent/Forgive (Accept, Affirm, Allow.)

Due to the ways in which the audience choose to engage with Milgram there are a lot of possible paths that are for lack of a better term lost to us now. For instance we never got to find out what would happen if Es just shut the hell up and didn't give a judgment on certain prisoners as they were told to do by many prisoners.

I think that we will be seeing the aftermath of enabling certain characters behavior twice in a row more clearly once the commencement notice drops.

Since as we saw trial one the Innocent/Forgive verdict doesn't just give the character leniency and show mercy too them but validates if not outright states to them that the behavior that led to that predicament is okay.

We saw this with Haruka,

"It is. I felt uneasy about it this whole time… Someone as worthless as me having killed someone to gain attention, and a person who surely had more worth and more of a future than me, at that…" … "But it turns out that I did nothing wrong after all! It wasn't wrong of me to kill her! There was never anything for me to worry about…!"

Mu,

"…um… um, by the way Warden-san! I don't know about this, but…" What? "You forgave me because I'd only given the bullies their just desserts, right?" … Well… I guess so. "What was it called again… Revenge… Revenge? That means revenge is an acceptable motive, right? So if you don't forgive me this time, that'd mean that it isn't." … "Leaving behind all that stuff you said about me possibly having been a bully myself- not that any of that's true, of course!" Sure. "So, if I'd gotten payback for how my bullies treated me, then that'd count as revenge, right? And if you believe that was my only option, then don't you have to forgive me?" …uh… I'm not really sure what you're trying to say… "You see~, if you think that me bullying someone back after being bullied is the natural course of action, then wouldn't it be bad to bully me back in return?" … "But if you were like, "I won't forgive you Muu! Revenge is bad!" then wouldn't that imply that it's also bad for me to bully someone back after they bullied me?"

Mu you said it was okay for me to bully people who bullied me when you voted me innocent first trial. If you had said you didn't forgive me then you'd have said that revenge is bad. Yet, the fact is you forgave me so revenge is good so it's acceptable for me to bully people who have bullied me. You're verdict said that is the correct course of action so if you bully me now then you'll deserve exactly what happens after that right?

"If you want to betray from jealousy- You know what’s gonna happen ON YOU."/ "Is this fun for you? Tying me up, bullying me, watching me suffer. You’re just like the others, getting mad because I was lucky in life and thinking you can treat me however you want."

and Kotoko through her attacks on the prisoners.

However in the case of Yuno, Shidou, and Kazui their responses to their verdicts were treated as vague. In Shidou's case his response to his verdict wasn't really that vague. He just did what he said he'd do if he was forgiven continue what he was doing regardless of how meaningless it was.

Kotoko's attacks allowed Shidou to showcase how he hadn't changed one bit as he weighed lives against each other. Deciding who was salvageable and who was a lost cause,

It's been a while, Shidou. "Orbital floor fracture on the right." Hm? "Traumatic retinal detachment. Bruising. Lacerations. Partial fracture of the thorax." ... "This is Kajiyama-kun's present condition." Futa's...

"“Throw down”, someone’s value cannot be the same as another. “Throw down” should choose between superiority or inferiority."

23/10/24 (Shidou’s Birthday)

Mahiru: You have a family right, Shidou-san……? How does it feel, being married, having kids……? Shidou: ……yeah, it’s a wonderful thing. Children…… yeah. They really are hope for the future. When you have your own, suddenly it becomes fun growing old. Since as you grow older, you get to see them grow up. Mahiru: Ah…… how lovely. It was always my dream to become a bride. Though maybe that seems a bit out-dated. I wish it could’ve come true…… Shidou: It isn’t too late. I’m going to make sure you live. So let’s get out of here, and you make your wish come true. ……you still have so much to live for.

"You don’t even know yet, and yet... Killing, extracting, I still won’t see them again I need to be tagged as RED."

Shidou's Aesculapius

Shiina-kun's is even worse. Head lacerations. Bruising all over her body. A sprained neck. Fractured ribs. Further fracturing to the left arm. And furthermore... This may be outside my profession, but her mental health is deteriorating as well."

"So this is unpleasant, so this makes me sick- What do you mean INNOCENT"

"If this is my punishment. Now I see, this world is cruel and merciless."

"“Throw down” it’s ok, that’s enough Can’t stay away Please don’t forgive me. That’s why I want this to end."

"I’m still guilty even if the morning comes."/"No thank you, it’s none of your concern."

"[Cackling] Not dead... yeah she's definitely not dead... I finally understand the value of what I've been robbing people of."

"To keep you alive, you are still living."/ "Killing, extracting, I still won’t see them again."

"Lying, replacing with hope."/ "The correct answer, I don’t yet know, but there are lives that need safeguarding."

noun 1a : pass, safe-conduct b: convoy, escort 2a: a precautionary measure, stipulation, or device b: a technical contrivance to prevent accident safeguard verb safeguarded; safeguarding; safeguards transitive verb 1: to provide a safeguard for 2: to make safe : protect

24/09/02 (Yuno’s Birthday)

Shidou: Thank you for your assistance with Shiina-kun’s treatment. It’s been a big help having you here. Both for her and for me. It’s good to know that even if something happens to me, you’ll still be around. Yuno: No way. I can’t do anything on my own. All I’m doing is helping with whatever you’re doing. It’s just like playing pretend as a nurse. Shidou: No, you’ve got a good sense for things like this. You’re quick to notice things, calm, and fearless. If you haven’t decided what you want to be in the future, maybe you should consider becoming a doctor yourself. Yuno: You think so? ……haha, stop it. I don’t want to be thinking about the future right now. And for someone like me to have other people’s lives in my hands…… that’s no laughing matter.

Honestly the audience is lucky they only managed to recreate three of the prisoners crimes. We could've gone ten for ten-

23/05/15 (Interrogation Start: Shidou and Mahiru)

Jackalope: Prisoner 05, Shidou Prisoner 06, Mahiru. The interrogations for these two will now be held. Just leave your questions in the comments here. Ask whatever you want to know. This is where you show off your skills as a prison guard. ……hmmm. These two have now totally slipped into the roles of doctor and patient huh. It probably isn’t a good time to be getting interrogated for them…… but, well, it’s the rule.

Let's give the guy in here for malpractice another patient he definitely wouldn't do the same thing again,

"“Throw down” it’s ok, that’s enough. Can’t stay away."

He definitely would not take advantage of another person having a medical emergency. He did not have a documented history of doing anything like that to other people's family. Definitely not.

"Hey, you remember what it feels like? The feeling to take away in order to give."

Shidou began focusing all his energy into recreating the dynamic of doctor and patient that led to the crimes he committed to be here in the first place.

Once again over tending to his plants until they died,

Smothering them with care the same exact way the prisoner paired with him smothered others with her affection. Showing no regard for how her feelings and the way she expressed them impacted those around her,

"My emotions are out of control, that’s inconvenient? I don’t care! Tell me, oh tell me why, won’t you just accept me?"

Somehow creating what could possibly be most the fitting end for both of these characters their interaction leading to their mutual destruction.

Though that's just what I believe happened. Hell maybe he had nothing to do with it. I have no attachment to any of these characters leaving here with a stellar reputation regardless of how they leave if at all. But what does this have to do with Mahiru being innocent trial one?

I'm building a bit of a case study on how the innocent verdicts have impacted the prisoners in order to attempt t to deduce what trial one innocent would look like for Mahiru.

Given the hints from Mahiru's first voice drama and the focus on reciprocity. I've stated in that same server that she would have more than likely become more open about her behavior in order to reciprocate Es' kindness. She says it herself in This Is How To Be In Love With You,

"I’m going to start relying on you if you’re kind to me, so please forgive me, thanks!”

In her second voice drama Mahiru would have more than likely begun venting to Es about her relationships. We would have heard contradictory factors about the person she's been with. This would have alluded to what This Is How To Be In Love With You and I Love You alludes to that Mahiru was seeing multiple people.

This is alluded to in This Is How To Be In Love With You through her myriad of outfit changes, the changes in the interests of the people she's going to see, the fact that out of all those pictures we only see this guy once and it's his arm.

These statements,

Q.03 Have you ever cheated on someone? Mahiru: Of course not! How could you ever cheat on someone!? Right!? Q.05 Who do you dislike most out of the other prisoners? Mahiru: Futa-kun is a bully, so definitely out! Also Mikoto is pretty flippant, he kinda seems like the type who’d cheat~

There is no reason for anyone to bring up cheating this often or for these questions to be chosen if they didn't show tell us something about the characters being asked the question. Then in I Love You,

"Saying I love you but doing what I did, I know I have no right, crossed and covered in sin."

We'd probably get to see when she began to have relationships like that. She'd start trying to give Es love advice, tips on how to better communicate with the other prisoners, start asking if their was anyone they'd fallen in love with yet. Probably assume it was Mu since she was innocent.

Her second trial song would have probably focused on finally getting the acceptance she felt she deserved and finding understanding. The stalker thing would still be mentioned and she would possibly be confused or brush it off like well of course you want to know everything about the people you're with it's the same as how you are with all of us right. You want to know us in and out because you care about all of us right that's love too?

Ultimately Mahiru as a character embodies the states of love. So, we'd probably shift to another form of love like with agape, eros, storge, philia as she would try to teach Es the concept in hopes of them better understanding and accepting her. Due to being rejected she cranked things up to a hundred jumping straight into saying I love you to get her point across. Because those three words can have a bit of stun effect especially when said out of nowhere and so much like that.

She ultimately used the phrase so much it lost its meaning. Well it still had its meaning but it became really doubtful that Mahiru understood what it was. Because of that she was mostly labelled as too delusional to understand what she had done was wrong despite blatantly admitting she was informed by the person that her behavior was making them uncomfortable multiple times.

"I know it's not the type of question you want to be asked I can’t help myself because I want to see your cute confused face, I’m sorry."

Mahiru's response to being rejected is to pursue harder. Is to come on stronger until the other party gives in. Her response to being accepted seems to be to lose interest. To back off, stay leveled, and look for other things that would be more exciting than the monotony of a regular relationship. Including just sewing chaos in the relationship she currently has just to do it. So much so that she notes it's a pattern to the extent of being considered a ritual by her,

"Even when I test you, even the times we do the breakup ritual- Is because I love you."

Ultimately she would have ended up guilty trial two because she would have blamed everything on others in her life for not being accepting enough. Or not,

"Do you really think you know what love is?"

Really knowing what love was like she does. She would become the resident love expert and start pursuing the object of her affection heavily which is implied to be Kazui,

20/06/19

Kazui: By the way…… thanks, Shina-chan. You keep going around and talking to people to make sure the mood never gets too sour, right? It’s a big help. We’re all in here together, after all. If a fight broke out the whole group could fall apart. Mahiru: ……eh? Huh~? Ah, no, I’m just talking to people because I personally want to talk. All the kids are so cute, so I can’t help but want to fuss over them! A fight, huh… But if that ever happened, then you’ll definitely be a big help, right~? Since you’re so big! And buff! Kazui: Ahh, no. I mean, I’ll do what I can. Based on appearance, as long as nobody has a weapon, I think I can probably get everyone under control…… No, we should just hope that nothing like that ever happens. Mahiru: You know, I quite like watching martial arts, actually. I don’t really get it, but it looks super cool. Hi-yah! Hi-yah!

Day. 5

point: watch Left: Today I started talking to him by chance, and he told me that his hobby is running. Without thinking I took a chance where I saw it and told him “I’m interested too!” so now we’re going to go running together. Even though I’m really bad at exercise…… I’ve never run so much in my life. Totally exhausted. Don’t lose focus even when exercising! The pastel tones mean not only do you look ready to go but also give off a cute oneesan appeal. Hoodie, T-shirt, shorts, leggings, cap, sneakers, wristwatch ／ All personal possessions

20/08/02

Mahiru: Yeah, I’m asking for what you like in the opposite sex! I mean, with a lifestyle like this we have a lot of free time, right? So earlier when I was talking with all the other girls we got onto the topic! It’s not often you get a chance like this to live with a mix of men and women together, so I thought it might be nice to use the chance to talk about stuff like this in preparation for when we leave. Kazui: Ah…… Haha, I understand. I can see that’d be the sort of thing girls your age would be interested in, huh. How peaceful. What I like in the opposite sex… I don’t know if what I say will really be a good reference for you…… Ah, you know, since I’m at this age. I like a girl who can just smile free of worries. Seeing that’d make my old, tired heart feel young again. Yuno: Uh-huh, I see, I see. ……that’s a total lie, right? Kazui: Haha…… Give me a break here. You sure don’t make things easy for people, Kashiki-chan.

Q.05 Who do you dislike most out of the other prisoners?

"Futa-kun is a bully, so definitely out! Also Mikoto is pretty flippant, he kinda seems like the type who’d cheat~"

20/06/08

Mahiru: Shidou-san…… you’re really good-looking. Personally I think you’d be better if you ate a bit more, but you’re slim and tall, and well put together to boot…… You must’ve been super popular up until now, right? Shidou: ……yeah, that’s true…… I did my share of fooling around in the past. Mahiru: Oh~? That’s not the sort of answer I’d expect from you. I’ve got it! Somebody told you that if you replied like that people wouldn’t resent you so much, right? Shidou: Haha, I’m surprised you guessed. ……it seems that no matter what guise I put on, it’s meaningless against a woman’s insight.

Q.20 What do you think about smoking?

Mahiru: I’ve never smoked myself- But if the person I like did, then I might start to be like them.

21/08/05   (Kazui’s Birthday)

Kazui: Oh, Shina-chan? How scandalous, coming to a man’s room in the middle of the night like this. Well, not that it’s really a room, just a cell. ……just kidding, since you brought some drinks with you, I’m assuming you’ve come to wish me a happy birthday, right? Thank you. Mahiru: Yep! Happy birthday Kazui-san~ Clap clap clap! But as well as that~ ……I also just maybe wanted to use it as an excuse so I could ask you for some advice over drinks, I suppose? Kazui: Advice, huh. Well, you’re more than welcome, but I don’t really know what advice an old man like me could give you. I haven’t got the first clue about what love is like for a young girl nowadays. Mahiru: Ahaha…… Don’t worry, much as I’d love to talk about that too, um…… er, Kazui-san. You know, recently I’ve been having the same dream every day. Lots of people were denying my actions…… Denying my thoughts…… that sort of dream.

"Ring ring, I’m calling you in the middle of the night."/ "

Q.05  If you went to an amusement park, what ride would you choose to go on? Kazui: Not gonna lie, I kinda want to go on the merry-go-round.

With Shidou, Mahiru and Kazui all innocent round one I feel like Mahiru would start smoking as an excuse to get closer to Kazui. Then that would in turn bring her closer to Shidou who was already showing an interest in Mahiru due to the many ways she resembles his wife. Being good at cooking, cleaning, communication, and with kids like Amane.

This would open up the love triangle route. Where Mahiru is interested in Kazui, Kazui is annoyed or put off by her advances (not really interested in anyone), Shidou is interested in Mahiru and worried about how the verdict has been impacting her because she just started smoking seems to be changing a great deal and in a very insignificant amount of time at that.

She'd basically start annoying Kazui the same way that Mu began annoying Yuno. She'd then be more guilty trial two for getting in the of a lot of people's favorite ships. People would react worse to Mahiru even trying to fuck Kazui then they did to Mu and Haruka's relationship where no one was fucking. There wasn't even much inclination that was going on with them and both their fans wanted to burn the other character at the stake for daring to be near their precious child.

People would be calling for Mahiru to be killed out of jealousy. Because she dared to even make one advance at Kazui. Not me though girl you pursue your dreams.

Shidou was like there's still time you can get out of here and do that while Mahiru was laid up and bed like yeah out of here and do it. Kazui off patrolling the prison as this woman is sat in bed with two attendants. Kazui and Mahiru were stopped from doing the funniest thing due to those first trial verdicts.

It would have been amazing to see her pursue that harder. Because she was pursuing it. She never asked any other man what their type was. That was a Kazui specific question. We didn't see that conversation with the girls she was talking about. Plus we know the other girls here who the fuck was really asking that question at that time?

Mu was afraid and requesting deserts. Kotoko is Kotoko. Do you think she asked. Yuno is there and could have corroborated her story but instead was like let me point out how this man is lying.

Just him and she quickly dismissed any other man here as not good enough for arbitrary reasons or just based of vibes.

She knew she is twenty-three she navigated that well but she knew. Her coming in their trial two and being like thanks to Milgram I found my true love and Kazui coming in trial two like you need to do something about this woman before I do. While Shidou is over here getting Mahiru's help tending to Amane after she inevitably gets wounded because Kotoko would then attack in this order,

Futa

Amane

Mikoto- (intervenes)

This would be wild. It would logically be what would happen. Like it's logistically Kotoko's best bet to attack the most people. However it going this way relies on the idea that Kazui would still intervene during the attack with Futa which would leave Amane tto get really messed up by Kotoko's attack.

Now hear me out.

In this circumstance Futa might get fucked up more and Kazui would have probably intervened with Amane instead. Because in the first attack he choose the younger of the two prisoners Kotoko attempted to attack to step in on. So in this scenario he may do that again.

Protecting the kids like Mahiru asked him to.

This of course only makes Mahiru want him more. He's a protector she thinks. He's so strong and did the best he could she says. She just wants to be a little more like him it's not weird to want to be like the person you like Es and she can stop smoking any time. She started and she can quit!

Mahiru on that Gilbert Nightray behavior if you know then you know. I love how I said this was short but I actually have so many thoughts on this because it's a hilarious setup. Man it would have been hilarious if she was innocent trial one because the staff didn't expect her to be guilty. So her innocent scenario must have been so much worse.

Like there are a lot of ways it could have went if she was innocent trial one but given statements within canon this is something I see as being incredibly likely. Yeah so that's all I've got on that sorry for like accidentally posting the answer before it was complete and hope you can see this.

[punkcherries]

everyone whittled me down and i watched arcane. it was alright

[thornheartless]

Feeling very out of place with people, the world. I don't know. Like I talk too much but end up being quiet at the wrong times.

[autobahnmp3]

all my co-workers are so fucking nice fr 🥹🩷

[administer-distractions]

.

[itsahotminuteinbetween]

.

[addelaidesupreme]

I'm watching a video essay about a game ive been interested in playing. The creator of the video, who has crossdressed multiple times, makes a "women arent funny" joke, and i suddenly realize ive never witnessed him acknowledge a woman in an uplifting way before.

I'm on a dating app for lgbt+ people. I've stated multiple times on my profile that i would rather lose an arm than recieve nudes without consent. I will be sent five dick pics for every 2 people i talk to that night.

I'm talking with my dad, who informs me he's been trying his best to learn about trans issues. He says the same things steven crowder brings up when trying to ridicule trans people. I gently but firmly correct my father and get told that ive been fed propaganda.

I'm on instagram, under the comments of a post ridiculing someone for being a misogynyst. Someone's left a comment saying "it must be hard being a woman on the internet" and i respond "it is." I will have every aspect of my appearance scrutinized as a reminder that no matter how well i pass, it will never be enough for someone with bad intentions.

I'm back on that dating app for lgbt+ people. I'm messaged by an attractive looking person, but i can see their partner prominently displayed in all but their main photo, oftentimes striking what im sure they thought was a very intimidating pose. Their bio says "looking for a third for our anniversary." I know that even if I did feel up to it, the gruff partner wouldnt approve of me because i don't pass.

I'm at a job interview for a clothing store. I tell the gracefully-dressed woman interviewing me that ever since i began my transition, i've discovered an interest in fashion, and that this job would allow me to dip my toes into the industry in a safe way. I'm told that i've reduced womanhood to a stereotype, and i can tell by her tone that i lost any chance at the job the minute she realized i was trans.

I'm at the same hospital i got facial feminization surgery in, trying to figure out what's wrong with my bowels. When the person behind the desk gives me a wristband with my patient info on it, i notice a single, lonely, letter M. I ask a nurse in private why it would say that despite me having changed it nearly a year prior. They say they have no clue, and bring in paperwork for me to fill out and have it re-changed again.

I'm living with my mom at the time. I'm new to transitioning, and decide to try my hand at voice training. It feels a bit off, but otherwise im feeling neutral toward the whole thing. I try speaking in this new voice to my mom and she laughs. Now, when people ask if i intend to voice train, i find speaking at all difficult for minutes after.

I didnt have some sort of grand message to convey by this. I just had a thought and then that thought spiralled into whatever the hell this became. Some, okay most, might call it complaining; they are right to do so.

[astrxealis]

good eve hope u all r well 😇😙💗✨

[idiopathicsmile]

School Gymnastics: A Tragicomedy

So one day when we were in third grade, our P.E. teacher divided us into girls and boys. (I don’t remember what the boys had to do. Wrestling? Tackle football? I don’t know, probably not at age nine, but that’s not the point. Gladiatorial combat? I still don’t really understand kids’ sports.)

What matters for this story is that all the girls had to do gymnastics. Now—and I suspect this won’t surprise you if you know literally anything about me—I was always terrible at any form of school athletics. I am intensely, almost impressively uncoordinated. This doesn’t affect my life much at 36, but it was often a miserable way to be a kid. The only playground game I liked was playing pretend, because when you are playing pretend, you don’t have a bunch of people ostensibly on your side screaming in your ear, “Pretend faster! Pretend over there! Pretend with greater accuracy!”

Anyway, gymnastics and my clumsy, doughy little body. I couldn’t do a cartwheel. I couldn’t do a backwards somersault. I couldn't do any of it. We had an entire unit on this business and I literally did not learn how to even safely attempt a single move besides the log roll (lie flat and roll sideways on your belly). In retrospect, this seems like maybe it was in part a teaching problem, not a me problem, but that’s actually not the point either.

The point is, at the end of the unit, we were told to divide ourselves into little teams and choreograph a group gymnastics routine. My group, faced with my long list of limitations (more limitation than girl, really) decide my role will be to just forwards-somersault around the rest of the group as they do their moves. (This is itself kind of embarrassing but trust me, it is but the appetizer.) My friend Ashley has the Lion King soundtrack and we all agree that it is a great choice. The movie has only come out a couple of years earlier, and it of course features some funny, peppy options. 'Hakuna Matata'? 'I Just Can't Wait to Be King'? It's all coming together.

Carried on a wave of youthful enthusiasm, none of us even think to double-check which track Ashley has picked. Foreshadowing!

So the day of the performance comes. Another group goes right before us. They had picked “Wannabe” by the Spice Girls, which was a huge hit at the time. I mean, it still is because it’s a classic, but then it was big and new. They step onto the mat and immediately begin to do choreographed dance moves, which they have worked into their routine. We had not thought of this. Oops. Dance moves, of course! So they incorporate the necessary gymnastics, it goes over really well, the energy is high, and now it’s my group’s turn.

I take my place at the edge of the mat, the mat we are required to stay on for the length of the piece. Ashley cues up the track she’d chosen.

A song starts up. Instantly, I recognize it from the movie. It is the very slow instrumental music that plays when Simba realizes his dad is dead.

‘Well, this is not optimal,’ I think. I've been on this planet for nine years; I can see that much. But it’s too late to change the track, and so I tell myself, ‘It’s okay. I’m a performer. I can sell this.’ I put on an extremely solemn face and begin to execute a series of the world’s saddest somersaults.

Friends, when I say “sad” I mean it, in every possible sense of the word. Picture a nine year old with the gravest possible affect, determinedly doing somersaults to the slowest, most serious music she can imagine, in a careful ring around her friends who have actually learned any gymnastics whatsoever. Okay, now as the music starts to pick up and get more hopeful, imagine she gets real dizzy and in front of everyone, she rolls all the way directly off the mat, careening dangerously towards the assembled students.

Somehow, I roll myself back onto the mat, we survive what feels like hours of humiliation, we stagger away, and I blessedly avoid adding “puking my guts out in front of all of my peers” to my very short list of gymnastics tricks.

Later, I asked Ashley what in the world possessed her to choose that song.

“It didn’t have any words,” she said.

(There was absolutely no rule against using songs that had lyrics.)

Anyway, that’s why being an adult is better than being a kid.

I may have to do laundry and make my own dinner and wrestle with more complex existential angst, but you know what I haven’t been asked to do in like 26 years? Somersault for three minutes straight to the musical shorthand for “this cartoon lion cub has no choice but to process the weight of unimaginable grief for his dead dad.” And you know what? If I live another 50 years, I can be pretty confident nobody will ask me to do it then, either.

[pomegranatesarchive]

PR nightmare | oscar piastri

paring: oscar piastri x singer!reader

summary: y/n is considered a pr nightmare. let’s watch her get into her first relationship.

notes: yet another repost from my old account, i tired to make it exactly the same, enjoy!

— y/n has posted new pictures!

liked by mclaren, f1, yourbrother, and 737,938 others!

yoursername: my manger told me to tell you guys that the illuminati is NOT real and i was just joshing around !! 😂👍👍😂

view comments below!

user1: ugh this is SO BELIEVABLE

user2: | WAS WAITING FOR THIS POST

user3: yeah let's all ignore the "i wrote songs about an f1 driver!!!!"

user4: the pictures 😭

yourmomsuser: pic credits?

yoursername: you're like 60 why do you know what pic credits are ??

user5: the illuminati is totally real 🙄

mclaren: 👀

yourusername: NO THIS IS SO EMBARRASSING PLS LOOK AWAY

user6: no offense, but how did you stumble across F2 oscar???

yourusername: my brother is like a HUGE f1, 2, AND 3 nerd and he always forces me to watch races with him 😣

yourbrothersuser: you literally ask me to tell you when oscar's back on the screen???

yourusername: okay kill yourself????

yourbrothersuser: @/yourmomsuser

yourusername: GOD YOU ARE SUCH A SNITCH

ynupdates: y/n and her brother; jacob, were seen at the airport earlier today, she later posted the picture on the right, on her story, confirming that she is in fact traveling. y/n has no shows coming up, and she rarely travels with jacob. thoughts?

view comments below!

user7: guys guys..the monaco grand prix in literally in two days.

user8: SHES GOING TO THE GRAND PRIX. I KNOW IT.

user9: why's her brother kinda??

user10: you can't even see his face 😭😭?

user9: I CAN JUST TELL

user11: everyone saying she's going to the grand prix are like getting my hopes up??????

user12: WATCH HER GO SOMEWHERE COMPLETELY DIFFERENT 😭

user13: okay guys..but we never talked about what songs could be about oscar

user14: IVE DONE SO MUCH THINK ABOUT THIS!!!

user13: GIRL PLEASE TELL

user14: OKAY OKAY!! one that REALLY stands out to me is "my love mine all mine" because, we all know y/n has never had a boyfriend before, SO when she writes love songs, obviously people speculate that she's in a relationship

user14: WHEN SHE WAS ASKED ABOUT THE INSPIRATION FOR "my love mine all mine" she said "i sadly do not have a boyfriend yet. but there is someone i've had my eye on for some time." SHE COULD HAVE BEEN TALKING ABOUT OSCAR AND WE DIDNT EVEN NOTICE

user15: istg if y/n doesn't show up in the paddock tomorrow, i will throw a fit.

liked by mclaren, f1, yourbrother, and 837,938 others!

yourusername: i could tell you where i am and what im doing, but its funny reading the theories

view comments below !

user15: are you going to a secret illuminati meeting user16: pls y/n pls just tell us

user17: this is cruel AND YOU KNOW IT

user18: pls lord, let y/n go to the monaco grand prix🙏🙏

user19: there's no way she ISNT going to the grand prix, i mean she's with her brother, and he's literally like the biggest f1 fan ever?? why else would they be traveling together

user20: maybe they're traveling together because they're siblings😭😭 ?? it doesn't have to connect to f1

yourbrothersuser: y/n pls put the phone down. i need a good nights rest for tomorrow.

user21: TOMORROW ???? IS ??? THE ???? GRAND ??? PRIX ??? ARE ???? YOU ??? GUYS ???? GOING ????

ynupdates: it seems like the rumors are true! y/n and jacob are currently at the grand prix!

view comments below!

user 22: 1 FUCKING KNEW IT

user23: everyone knew it...

user24: WHOO CAREEESSS oscar and y/n interaction WHEN ???

user25: ugh i NEED grid x y/n interactions RN

user26: y/n this, oscar that. WHAT I NEED IS TO SEE Y/NS BROTHER MEET MAX

user27: omg can you imagine how happy he is rn

— mclaren has posted new photos!

liked by yourusername, f1, yourbrother, landonorris, oscarpiastri and 837,938 others!

mclaren: monaco was a dream! thank you y/n for joining us view comments below!

view comments below!

user28: 1 SHOULVE BEEN THERE. I COULDVE METY/N. THAT SHOULDVE BEEN ME.

yourusername: thank you for having me🧡

user29: okay now make oscar and y/n kiss

yourbrothersuser: thank you for making my dream come true 🙏🙏

redbullracing: @/yourusername our garage next

yourusername: i think @/yourbrothersuser would enjoy that more then i ever could

redbullracing: he's always welcome to join 💙

yourbrothersuser: AHHHHHH OMG OMG

user30: okay now more grid x y/n content

user31: the way this became like a meet and greet for y/n was INSANE

user32: who would've thought there would be so many y/n fans at a F1 race??

user33: everyone's a y/n l/n fan.

— y/n has posted new photos!

liked by, mclaren, landonorris, oscarpiastri 763,928 others!

yourusername: do you think he'll try weed with me now that he's my boyfriend?

view comments below !

user34: EXCUSE ME BOYFRIEND???

user35: OMG Y/N GOT HER FIRST BOYFRIEND!! АННННН

user36: OSCAR AND Y/N??? HELL YEAH

user37: okay let's just pretend that doesn't say what it says 😭

yourmanger: y/n please change that caption.

yourusername: i don't know how ☹️

user38: WHO CARES ABOUT THE CAPTION!!! Y/N AND OSCAR SHIPPERS RISE

mclaren: in case that caption isn't a joke, y/n please refrain from getting our drivers high.

yourusername: YOU GUYS ARE NO FUNN

user39: i love how public y/n is. like she genuinely acts like she doesn't have millions of followers

oscarpiastri: love i already told you, we cant get high.

yourusername: YOU WOULD IF YOU LOVED ME.

maxverstappen1: i'll get high with you y/n 🙋‍♂️

redbullracing: no you will not.