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#she also called me by my second first name idk why
dokyeomini · 1 year
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all my co-workers are so fucking nice fr 🥹🩷
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britneyshakespeare · 11 months
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funny thing happened when i was subbing fourth grade technology today. a boy raised his hand when i introduced myself as miss (last name) and said "there used to be someone who looked JUST like you who worked at after care a few years ago."
"that was me >:)"
and he was like... honestly *____*-facing
#idk how to describe the emotions of the *____* (an underrated fav of mine) thats why art is so much more eloquent than words#tales from diana#some kids realize it's me and im the same person#oh when i was working for the after school program i went by miss diana. important detail#we all did first names except for my coworker who was a para at the school during the day she still went by her last name. naturally#bc that's what all the kids knew her as already#but yeah like my boss was mr. bruce for instance#i had a boy in one second grade class seemingly FORGET me? he was a kindergartener#i had just walked into the room a minute ago and i said '(his name) stop that' and he was like 'how do you know my name?'#uhm. because we've played stratego together.#another girl in his grade (now a second grader) who used to really love me and always seems happy to see me subbing#she asked me one time 'why did you change your name?' 'i didnt!' and she was like: :0000#me explaining to my friends that i have a first AND last name#also in that fourth grade class was my first grader i used to tutor when school was still remote!#he's so big now jesus fuckin christ#he asked me if i. like. PREFER to be called miss (last name) bc w him i just went by diana#and i was like 'well. you know my name and thats ok but just call me what all the other kids are supposed to call me' lol#if you run into me at the grocery store you can say hi diana. at school it's miss b#he's funny he always doesn't like to seem too attached or affectionate (he was like that when he was young too) but i can tell#he's always happy to see me around :)
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shidoukanae · 4 months
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I would like to make an addendum to this piece with the new chapter out and say that I was wrong about Phillip, he's great, 10/10 he went from being a giant red flag of a character to being genuinely relatable and man do i feel bad about side-eyeing him for that line he said last chapter
Also this chapter finally wrapped up another plot thread I was waiting for it to return to and waaaaaah seeing someone else's POV on Helene is so nice (and we finally got another flashback of OG Helene for like,, the first time in literally forever). Helene being called out as a lonely person who hides her kind feelings behind a cold expression...man suddenly my fondness for Helene is increasing thousandfold
Like literally how the fuck does this manga keep making Helene better and better there's literally nothing disappointing about her character and im STILL shook about it
#The Mighty Extra#no fully colored art today gotta process my feelings over the Helene bits in today's chapter LMAO#Helene continuously getting the best treatment in this story utterly shocks me as someone who is too used to seeing female characters in-#shounen-esque ending up as wasted potential fgkjggfkj#Helene is literally so perfect as a character i love her i love her i love her I LOVE HER I LOVE-#i don't draw Helene enough to show it outwardly but rest assured she occupies 99% of my current brain capacity 24/7#also the way I went from going “oh god why are you like this” to Phillip to “ohhh OHHHH okay no i get it you're very baby” is very funny#that last line makes complete sense for Phillip and it's so cool to see him show off a lot of character development in one go#for a character who is relatively minor i love how the creator made him really understandable and sympathetic like damn#i don't usually care for second lead male LIs but Phillip is surprisingly a strong and endearing character#so much so i think he's now going to forever be embedded in my mind as what a well written character looks like#me before 77: ehhh im not sure if im as excited for this chapter as the next few bc it's probs just gonna end up as#Phillip just being an ass and Fian being jealous about him#this fucking manga every goddamn time i doubt it: hey so want to learn more about Helene and see Phillip get massive character development-#that shows how mature he's gotten but also go back to several plot threads and mysteries and showcase how Lyla is severely in danger and th#war that Fian is starting is something that legitimately needs to happen to keep her safe and also here's a OG Helene flashback that-#you totally haven't been craving for promising to return to why Lyla shipped Helene/Fian in the first place and why she feels guilty about-#taking Fian from Helene (and also suggests Helene deeply loved Fian in the OG timeline which is one big awwwwWWWW and now it kind of-#sucks that Lyla DID rip Fian away from Helene but hey at least Helene has Paris now instead (oh the irony))#fun fact i actually kind of do ship Fian/Helene#at least the OG versions of them#idk seeing how attached Fian is to Lyla and imagining him doing the same to OG Helene is really fucking cute#i am SO FUCKING DESPERATE for the original story behind TME's plot to exist you have no fucking idea#and 78 looks promising as to revealing how OG Helene (/Lyla) reacted to OG Fian's death so like#im begging for next week's chapter already i NEED to get a continuation to that death scene#(also calling it now but if Lyla's real name is actually Helene im going to fucking scream)#(for more reasons than one oh my god)
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astonmartinii · 1 year
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mamma mia | formula one social media au
drivers: sebastian vettel, jenson button and fernando alonso
what the hell is in the water in greece? why are pregnancy tests so expensive and why does seb name his vehicles like that?
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fernandoalo_oficial
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liked by maxverstappen1, aussiegrit and 803,450 others
location: greece
fernandoalo_oficial: had a great break in greece recharging the old batteries 🔋
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user1: old man who is this woman?
landonorris: who taught you to soft launch grandpa?
fernandoalo_oficial: hey! respect your elders
landonorris: you just called yourself old? and WHO IS THIS?
fernandoalo_oficial: none of your damn business kid
user2: why is he particularly dilfy lately?
user3: he's approaching silver fox territory i fear
jensonbutton: i see that greece was a popular spot for wold champions this break?
fernandoalo_oficial: i also saw, sad not to bump into you old friend :(
maxverstappen1: where was my invite ???
jensonbutton: cool world champions only
lewishamilton: excuse me?
fernandoalo_oficial: idk what to tell you it wasn't planned, me, jenson and sebastian just have good taste
sebastianvettel: i see mary goodnight was appreciated
fernandoalo_oficial: yes thank you for lending me your boat, huge hit with the ladies
sebastianvettel: very happy with my choice to get it deep cleaned before i got there
fernandoalo_oficial: first of all, i'm not dirty. second of all, thanks for the faith in my game big man
user4: i am so confused by this comment section I DID NOT WANT TO KNOW ALONSO FUCKED ON SEB'S BOAT ???
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yourusername
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liked by yourbff, oliviarodrigo and 1,340.987 others
tagged: yourbff
yourusername: (sober) brunch with a side of light baby daddy investigation
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user7: only y/n would end up in a mamma mia situation, stay strong
yourusername: omg i didn't even realise, but donna was always a bad bitch, so i will just be the same
user8: i can't believe i am watching a girl investigate her own baby daddies on the internet (i love this place)
yourbff: if we can't find the lucky men, at least they'll have a cool ass aunt
yourusername: all fun and games until you have to change a nappy
user9: i'm enjoying this saga, BUT, why can't we just wait and do a paternity test
yourusernmae: i still need to know them to do that... and being nosey is far more fun
user10: all i'm thinking is this girl has to have GAME for three dilfs in the span of like three days... RESPECT 🫡
user11: i am so invested in this... please be interesting people 🤞
jensonbutton
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liked by sebastianvettel, fernandoalo_oficial and 401,330 others
jensonbutton: back on sky duty and bumped into a couple of familiar faces
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user12: who let these old men talk about their sex lives on a live broadcast?
user13: i am entertained tbf
user14: obsessed with both needing to reinforce the fact that they pulled in greece
user15: i need seb to jump in on this conversation ASAP
fernandoalo_oficial: not happy with you pinning all of my success on seb's boat mate
jensonbutton: was it all your charming personality?
fernandoalo_oficial: obviously
sebastianvettel: i can confirm that it's always all the boat
jensonbutton: is that a confession?
sebastianvettel: gentleman don't kiss and tell x
charles_leclerc: jesus christ and we're the generation ruining the sport?
jensonbutton: f1 has always been slutty, you guys are letting us down
maxverstappen1: clearly you guys are still active enough to keep up the reputation yourselves
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sebastianvettel
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liked by charles_leclerc, jensonbutton and 902,180 others
sebastianvettel: retirement is looking fun, glad to take mary goodnight out for her first spin
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user21: did he just say mary goodnight? SEB WHAT?
user22: omfg he is potential baby daddy two??
charles_leclerc: so seb got a bit too lucky in greece?
user23: CHARLES?
user24: i am losing my mind they were right, they are the baby daddies
user25: i knew as soon as she said a nando with a samurai tattoo
user26: @yourusername he's number two !!!!!
user27: @yourusername we found him, boat and all
landonorris: YOU'RE POTENTIAL BABY DADDY TWO SEB WHAT THE FUCK
sebastianvettel: i don't understand lando
landonorris: check your texts
user28: don't forget the others lando
landonorris: @fernandoalo_oficial check your texts (and forward it to jenson i don't have his number)
fernandoalo_oficial: okay?
yourusername: WHAT THE FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK
user29: i think someone needs to check on her
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yourusername
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liked by sebastianvettel, fernandoalo_oficial and 1,509,600 others
yourusername: i hot girl summer-ed a bit too close to the sun, what do you mean the three dilfs were f1 world champions?
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sebastianvettel followed yourusername
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jensonbutton followed yourusername
note: AHHHHHH? idk if i love it or hate it? do i know who i plan on being the dad? no. but do i plan on expanding on this? yes. mamma mia chaos will return.
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sincerelyneo · 6 months
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teeth | l.hc
“fight so dirty but your love’s so sweet”
💿now playing: teeth by 5 seconds of summer
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❯ summary: Traditionally the caption of the cheer team and the captain of the soccer team are friends - some even date. But you and Donghyuck definitely aren’t friends - if anything you’re enemies. The two of you can’t go five minutes without an argument. So, why are you letting him fuck you in the locker room?
❯ pairings: haechan x fem!reader
❯ genre: college!au, enemies with benefits, smut
❯ words: 2.5k
❯ tags: 18+ minors dni!, bickering, swearing, unprotected sex (don't do this!), hate sex, degrading names, general name-calling, manhandling, haechan is an asshole, but reader is also lowkey mean, choking, use of nickname 'princess', reader uses she/her pronouns, hardly any plot, it's literally just them hate fucking idk what to tell ya.
cheeky author's note: i'm very brtish, so referring to this as soccer literally made me want to rip my hair out 😀
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“You don’t have to be so rough you know, Hyuck!”
"Will you just shut up and let me fuck you!?" He snaps.
The red metal of Lee Donghyuck's locker is cold against the skin of your bare back. Honestly, you don’t even know how it happened. But somehow the captain of the soccer team (and the boy you swear you hate) has you pinned against the boy’s lockers, one leg wrapped around his waist and the top half of your cheer uniform hiked up just enough to give him a full display of your tits. His left-hand grips your hip so tightly that you’re certain he’s doing it on purpose just to piss you off.
Not only that, but he also has your skirt bunched up around your waist. Giving him just the right amount of easy access to pull your panties to the side and tease his cock between your folds.
"Will you just hurry up and stick it in!?" You try to yell at him but, from the way he’s teasing the head of his cock at your entrance, the attempt comes out like a feeble whine.
Exactly on command, the scowl on your face quickly morphs into a wince, and the annoyed quirk on your lips disappears to form a small 'o' as Hyuck’s grip on your hip hardens and he pushes his cock quickly into your cunt. You can’t complain though - you did just tell him to stick it in.
"Shit," you squirm, hand coming up to his chest, pressing hard against the badge of his soccer uniform that rests on his right peck.
"Now look who’s needy," He teases. "I vividly remember you saying I’d be the shittest fuck on the soccer team."
"That’s what this is about!? You’re still mad that– uhh," you’re cut off by your own moan and your nails sink into the fabric of his shirt when he starts to move his hips. His pace is surprisingly slow - deliberately teasing - in comparison to his rapid first thrust inside of you.
"Christ! Even when you fuck you talk too much," Hyuck curses, his hand wrapping around your arm to free himself from the grip you have on his shirt.
"You're one to talk," You hiss back. "Even when you fuck you’re still an annoying little asshol– "
You gasp as he pulls out of you completely and then thrusts into you once again.
"You could've at least warned me, you dick,” You exhale, your walls readjusting to his size for the second time - and what a big size he was.
“Yeah, yeah, spare me the lecture princess.”
You can’t believe that even when he’s buried to the hilt inside of your pussy he’s still calling you that stupid fucking nickname. It’s not the word ‘princess’ itself that bothers you per se; it’s Lee Donghyuck’s intention behind the name that makes your blood blister with anger. He’s been calling you ‘princess’ since your freshman year in college but you’d only ever inquired about it recently.
You were at a party, and even though you hate the bones of Lee Donghyuck, you’d be lying if you said your social circles didn’t overlap. It was inevitable, he’s on the soccer team, you’re a cheerleader; honestly, the two of you should be friends. But you’re not. And because of your strained relationship, it was no surprise that the minute you walked through the door he’d picked a fight with you.
You can't even remember what the argument was about now, but you know the two of you had gone back and forth in a boxing match of insults that always ended with him throwing the word ‘princess’ at the end of his rebuttals. And you really couldn’t quite understand why. In your mind, being called a princess was a compliment, but to Donghyuck, princesses were “spoilt bitches who have no grip on reality.”
Safe to say you didn’t think the term was one of endearment after that.
And it was at that same party where you’d insisted Donghyuck would be the shittest fuck on the soccer team – something you’re currently finding out as being not true as he fucks you senseless six ways to Sunday. In all honesty, even when Yuta had asked you the question in a silly little game of truth or dare, you knew Hyuck was the cop-out answer. Truthfully, your real answer would have been Jisung or Chenle. They’re both a little younger and act more awkward with you. But still, you’d let hell freeze over before letting Lee Donghyuck think he was a better fuck than somebody else. However, you’re pretty sure you’ve broken that promise to yourself from the way you’re breathlessly panting and gasping from the vigorous drilling of his cock. That or hell genuinely has frozen over.
But still, what did he expect? The two of you couldn’t go half a second without a petty argument. Sometimes you find yourself just doing it because you were bored and he was there. After all, it’s just the norm between the two of you.
That’s why you can’t quite understand why he’s taking a stupid comment said in a passing game of truth or dare to heart. You’ve said worse to him, you're sure of it.
Hyuck pulls out of your pussy and the emptiness that lingers between your legs has you groaning – even if it’s just for a second. He doesn’t give you long to harp on the loss of friction because he wastes no time dropping your leg from his hip, gripping your waist and slamming the front of your body against his locker.
You want to make another snarky comment about his roughness, but you secretly love it. Well, it’s not so secret actually — Hyuck is well aware that you like his manhandling because he feels your wetness becoming more slick on his cock as he thrusts into you from behind.
His pace in the new position is still tortuous, slow and teasing, and so fucking annoyingly good. But you don’t know how much longer you can take the tormenting leisurely pace. You want more - you need more. If he didn't have your arms pinned behind you and you flush against the lockers, you’d claw at his back to make him go faster.
You feel a warmth on the nape of your neck as he nuzzles against your ear, placing a kiss so gently, that you’re shocked at the sudden contrast in his demeanour.
“This the shittest fuck you’ve had, huh?”
No.
“Yes,” you reply and he growls deeply. There’s a rough snap of his hips and it catches you off guard so much you have to bite down on your lip to suppress a whimper.
“Fucking liar,” he scoffs.
The insult makes your face screw up in a glare, but still, all you can manage is a breathy, “Am not.”
No matter how good the length of his cock is making you feel, you don’t want to give him the satisfaction of admitting he was right – that he’s not the worst fuck on the soccer team. Not that you had much experience with the others.
But even though you refuse to use your words to tell him you’re loving it, your body betrays you by being so fucking responsive to his touches. And no matter how hard you fight against him, Hyuck never lets you gain an inch. In fact, every time you try to free your arms from his, he lets out a frustrated groan, and the sound only makes your pussy throb harder.
His hand slips up your body until it finds your throat, where his fingers dig into either side of your neck. He stops his thrusts.
“Well if you’re not lying, are you saying I’m a shitty fuck princess?” He asks innocently as if he’s about to be gentle with you, but you know better. After all, this is Donghyuck. “If you want to pretend like you don’t want this; if that helps you sleep at night, then fine, but your slutty cunt is so fucking wet, I can almost feel you soaking my balls.”
He ducks down to place a kiss on your jaw, and you feel his lips smile into it as you shudder from his words. Instinctively, you swing your head away from him, only to be yanked back by the hand around your throat. He chuckles against your skin, hips starting to move again, thrusting shallowly into your stretched cunt.
“If I’m such a shitty fuck, I supposed you want me to stop, huh?” He asks in a low voice, lips grazing your cheek.
Noises you’ve never heard yourself make before tumble from your mouth as you moan and sob shamelessly. You try to bite your tongue, try not to fuel his ego, but his rhythm is too good at tearing down your guard, which is why you find yourself crying out, “Please don’t stop!”
He laughs, fucking you harder and faster, the stings of pain from his cock hitting you so deep morphing into a hot ache of pleasure that coils tighter and tighter in your core.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” he growls.
His fingers, still on your throat press into your skin, not hard enough to cut off your air supply but just enough pressure to force out strangled moans. Your shoulders rub against the coarse material of his soccer kit, grounding you against him as he fucks you in punishing thrusts.
You don’t want to admit it, but your body can’t resist it.
“Fuck, gonna cum,” you mumble, eyes squeezed tight together.
“Yeah? You gonna cum for me like a good little slut?” he murmurs into your temples
The low rumble of his voice has the tension in your core ratcheting higher, pushing you closer to your release. Your head feels like it’s floating as the tight spring in your stomach coils until it finally snaps and has your knees buckling beneath you.
Hyuck keeps his speed steady, fucking you through your climax and savouring the way your walls clench around him in rigid spasms. Your orgasm triggers his and he clenches his jaw.
“Fuck, I'm gonna cum,” he ruts into you harder, and all you can do is moan for him.
“Please,” you whimper.
He chuckles at your submission - he’s never seen you like this before - so needy and desperate. He didn’t think it was possible to love anything about you; but this right here, you fucked out and pleading for his cum, yeah, he fucking loves it.
He ruts into you a last few times with thrusts that are wild and more frenzied, his thighs slapping against your ass. He contemplates cumming inside of you, but he figures he’d save that for another day since the two of you had forgotten about a condom and hadn’t really discussed it.
And…did he just think about having sex with you again?
With a loud groan that rattles against the metal in the empty locker room, Hyuck pulls out of your cunt and jerks his cock until he’s cumming onto the small of your back. Unable to stop yourself, you moan softly and a stupid smile spreads across your face when you hear him sigh.
After that it's silent, only your rapid breaths echoing in the room. He’s pressed against you, face buried in your neck, holding you and your weak legs in place. You stay like that for a beat, but then you remember who it is that’s just fucked you.
Without any more hesitation, you shake his grip and push him away from you. "Christ! Stop breathing down my neck. Fucking gross."
If it wasn’t for the fact that he’s your arch nemesis you would have stayed tangled up in him a little while longer, letting yourself get soaked up in the fact that that was the best sex you’ve ever had.
As you turn around to face him, he looks at you with the softest expression you’ve ever seen on his face.
“There’s a towel in my bag if you want to…”
You scoff, “How chivalrous of you.”
You pull the towel from the bag in his locker and start wiping at his cum on your back. Your body is turned away from him but you can still feel his eyes lingering on you as you wipe away.
You stop to look at him, “What are you still doing here? We have a game in like 10 minutes. Shouldn’t you be like…warming up or something?”
“I think I’m already warmed up,” he mumbles and you shake your head with a smile, going back to cleaning yourself off.
“Seriously, get on the pitch,” you demand when you see him still lingering.
There’s a hand in his hair, scratching his head and he looks a little flushed. You never see him like this, it’s weird. The Hyuck you know and loathe is cocky, smug, arrogant, all of those kinds of words; but the one in front of you looks so awkward, flushed. Is it weird you kinda like it?
“Are you waiting for me to tell you you aren’t a bad fuck or something? Seriously Hyuck, get lost,” you try and joke, pulling down your cheer uniform.
“No..I…” he stumbles.
You groan, “Oh no, don’t do this. Don’t make things weird.”
“I’m not—”
“Can’t you just be like a normal guy and…I don’t know, say it felt good to fuck me like you hate me or some shit?”
His eyes sweep over your face as if he were studying you. His face softens and he steps closer.
“I mean I could say that, because it felt fucking amazing actually,” he says and you swallow thickly. “But you’re wrong about one thing.”
You pause, freezing as he comes towards you. You don’t even register how close he is until you feel his breath on your lips and his chest against yours.
“What?”
“I don’t actually hate you that much,” he admits, and your eyes widen.
“Yeah right, funny joke,” you roll your eyes and laugh sarcastically but he’s not laughing with you. In fact he’s just looking at you, deadpan, and it’s starting to freak you out.
When you realise that he is in fact serious, you cross your hands across your chest.
“You’re not gonna start doing all that cheesy shit they do in the movies, where you profess your undying love for me, and tell me you never really hated me and it was all just a miscommunication, are you?”
“Fuck no!” He almost gags at the mention of it. “Just because I said I don’t hate you that much doesn’t mean I like you? Are you crazy?”
“Well I’m just making sure,” you poke his chest.
He runs a hand through his hair and sighs, “But I do wanna do this again…” he trails off so quietly that you wouldn’t have heard it if there was anybody else in the room with you.
“This?”
“Yes, this. Us. Fucking,” he explains. “I fucking hate you, but fuck, I think I love your pussy.”
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agaypanic · 6 months
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Is this how you request a fic? I have no idea but I’ll try. I’m craving Regina George content. Can you please write something where reader is apart of the plastics but she’s not mean like the rest of them and that’s why Regina likes her. When Cady shows up and Regina has an interest in cady it’s too make reader jealous but instead cady ends up liking reader who distances herself from the plastics and then Regina gets jealous and admits her feelings so reader doesn’t end up with cady. If that makes sense? Thank you!
Craving Your Attention (Regina George X Plastic!Reader)
Masterlist
Request Something!
Summary: Regina George is the queen of North Shore High and she doesn’t like to share her toys, even if she doesn’t really play with them. 
A/N: kinda toxic!regina even tho thats not really a surprise. slight cady x reader, she likes you instead of aaron (also aaron doesn’t exist teehee). The girls arent homophobic bc cady tells gretchen she likes reader and regina ends up with reader (saying this bc idk if you’re gonna read this with 2004 regina or 2024 regina in mind, and obviously 2004 was a different time lmao) content warning for diet talk but it’s just part of one scene. Heavily relied on the mean girls (2004) script for this fic, so it's almost all written centered around Cady. all in third person which felt a lil weird to write because i usually write in second person lol idk if anyone’s gonna want a part 2 but imma lyk rn that im not planning on writing a part 2, mainly bc this took so painstakingly long
***
Everyone at North Shore High knew about Regina George. They’d be stupid not to. She was practically royalty. 
A queen bee was nothing without her little worker bees. First was Karen Smith. She seemed to give a whole new meaning to the word ‘clueless,’ but she was friendly. In more ways than one.
Then there’s Gretchen Wieners. She was Regina’s eyes and ears, whether it was wanted or not. All she wanted to do was please her leader.
And finally, there was Y/n L/n. If any of the plastics were to be deemed approachable, it was her. She was Regina’s right-hand girl, maybe even a bit more than that. But no one ever brought that up.
But then Cady Heron came to North Shore.
“Is he bothering you?” Regina tilted her head as she looked at the redheaded girl and the familiar boy who was talking to her. Y/n, who was sitting next to Regina, looked up from her food in curiosity. Regina didn’t usually talk to anyone outside of the table during lunch. The girl made a nondescript noise, so Regina turned her attention to the boy. “Jason, why are you such a skeez?”
Jason rolled his eyes, but tried to seem polite.
“I’m just being friendly.”
“You were supposed to call me last night,” Gretchen pouted, looking over her shoulder at Jason.
“Jason.” Attention was brought back to Regina with the simple call of his name. She wore a sweet smile, which meant that Jason was probably about to get a bite taken out of him. “You do not come to a party at my house with Gretchen and then scam on some poor, innocent girl right in front of us three days later. She’s not interested.” Regina then turned to the redheaded girl. “Do you wanna have sex with him?”
She looked shocked, giving an immediate no.
“Good. So it’s settled.”
“You can go shave your back now,” Y/n finished, and the four plastics waved him off. Jason walked away, but not before muttering an insult to the girls.
“Good one,” Regina said quietly to Y/n, who couldn’t help but smile a bit at the small praise. Before she could reply, Regina’s eyes followed after the red-haired girl, who was now starting to walk away. “Wait.” The single word made her stop in her tracks and look back. “Sit down.”
Regina moved her hands, signaling Gretchen and Karen to move to the sides of the lunch bench to make room for this mystery girl. After some more encouragement, she sat down.
“What’s your name?” Y/n asked sweetly, trying to ease the girl’s nerves.
“Cady.”
“Why don’t I know you?” Regina asked, looking at Cady curiously.
“I’m new,” Cady replied. “I just moved here from Africa.”
“What?”
“I used to be home-schooled.”
“Wait. What?”
Cady took a second, wondering why Regina kept saying ‘what.’ She didn’t think it was that confusing.
“My mom taught me at home-”
“No, no.” Regina laughed. “I know what ‘home-school’ is; I’m not stupid. So, you’ve actually never been to a real school before?”
As she spoke, Regina leaned more and more forward towards Cady. And as the conversation continued, Y/n wondered why Regina was taking such an interest in her. Regina never cared about anyone who passed by, too involved in the latest gossip session Gretchen had started or in Y/n’s appearance. Not that Y/n really noticed that; she was busy thinking about Regina to see that Regina was thinking about her. Either way, she didn’t understand why the blonde was suddenly so fascinated by this new girl.
“You’re like, really pretty.”
Oh… That must be why.
Y/n seemed to tune the rest of the conversation out, too wrapped up in Regina’s compliment towards Cady and the bright smile she wore while giving it. She didn’t know why it bothered her. It’s not like Regina belonged to her. If anything, Y/n, along with the rest of the Plastics, belonged to Regina.
Even when Regina brought Gretchen and Karen in close to speak to them and Y/n, leaving Cady awkwardly leaning back to give them more privacy, Y/n didn’t care much to listen. The gist of the conversation was that they wanted Cady to sit with them at lunch for a week, something they had never considered doing with anyone else in this school.
“Okay.” Regina started as Gretchen and Karen relaxed back into their seats, and Cady leaned back in. “You should just know that we don’t do this a lot, so this is, like, a really huge deal. We wanna invite you to have lunch with us every day for the rest of the week.” Regina wore a grin that meant she was up to something, but Cady didn’t seem to decipher that, and the rest of the girls didn’t know what it meant.
“Oh, it’s okay—” Cady’s tone seemed to indicate that she was about to decline, but Regina interrupted her before she could.
“Coolness.” The bell rang, and Regina’s eyes darted over to Y/n before going back to Cady. Her mischievous smile remained present as she, Gretchen, and Karen grabbed their trays. “So we’ll see you tomorrow.”
The three Plastics stood up and left the table, leaving Y/n in a slight daze and Cady confused about what had just happened. Y/n suddenly looked around, realizing that her friends had left without her, but the new girl was still with her. She figured that she should say something before leaving her alone. She didn’t have to be mean or unpleasant just because Regina seemed to like Cady.
“On Wednesdays, we wear pink.” Y/n said it with a timid but sweet smile, trying to get over the revelation that the girl she loved was setting her sights on someone else. Her hand patted Cady’s a few times before she stood up and picked up her tray. “Welcome to North Shore.”
As Cady watched Y/n leave, and as Janis and Damian dragged the redhead away to interrogate her about her interaction with Regina, she couldn’t help but feel warm. Maybe public school wouldn’t be so bad.
***
The next day, Cady was slightly nervous to sit with the Plastics. She felt like a double spy. Janis and Damian were under the impression that Cady was doing it for them, to listen in on Regina’s secrets and relay them back to her friends so they could laugh at the pathetic and superficial nature of it all. And sure, that was the main reason she was sitting with the girls. But Cady also returned to the table so she could bask in a new light, Y/n. 
But living in girl world came with a bunch of rules.
“You can’t wear a tank top two days in a row, and you can only wear your hair in a ponytail once a week. So…” Gretchen laughed lightly, seeming a little nervous for no reason as she looked at Cady, who was wearing her hair in a ponytail. “I guess you picked today. Oh! And we only wear jeans or track pants on Fridays.”
“Which totally blows in the winter,” Y/n muttered before sipping her Diet Coke.
“Now,” Gretchen started again, “if you break any of these rules, you can’t sit with us at lunch.” Cady seemed surprised, but Gretchen continued. “Not just you! Like, any of us. Okay, so, like, if I was wearing jeans today, I would be sitting over there with the art freaks.” She said it with a grimace, pointing over to a table a few feet away from the girls before looking back at Cady. “Oh, and we always vote before we ask someone to eat lunch with us, because you have to be considerate of the rest of the group. I mean, you wouldn’t buy a skirt without asking your friends first if it looks good on you.”
Everyone nodded except for Cady, who was processing all of these new rules she had to follow.
“I wouldn’t?”
“Right,” Gretchen said with a definitive nod. “And it’s the same with guys. Like, you may think you like someone, but you could be wrong.”
“One hundred twenty calories and forty-eight calories from fat,” Regina interrupted, reading a food bar that she had grabbed. She looked at her friends inquisitively. What percent is that?”
“Uh… forty-eight into one hundred and twenty?” Gretchen suggested, not really sure of herself.
“No, I don’t think so, Gretch,” Y/n said, trying to think of the correct answer.
“I’m only eating foods with less than thirty percent calories from fat.”
“It’s forty percent,” Cady said suddenly, proud that she was able to do the equation in her head. Everyone looked at her, expressions varying from impressed to confused. Cady suddenly felt the need to show her work. “Well, forty-eight over a hundred and twenty equals X over a hundred-”
“So then you cross multiply to get X!” Y/n finished off with a grin, thrilled that she knew what Cady was talking about. Cady smiled back at her with the same excited energy, although looking a little more subdued. Not only was this girl super pretty and friendly, but she also seemed decently smart. Maybe Janis was wrong about these girls.
“Whatever.” Regina looked at the two girls suspiciously. She tossed the food bar onto the table and stood up. “I’m getting cheese fries. Y/n, come with me.”
Taken back by the sudden command, Y/n stumbled out of her seat and followed Regina. Cady’s eyes followed her until she was out of sight, and she sighed quietly when she couldn’t catch a glimpse of the girl anymore. 
“So!” Gretchen startled Cady with her enthusiastic voice and a hand on her shoulder. As she turned to look at her, Cady realized that Karen was also gone from the table. She must’ve gone to the bathroom or somewhere else. “Have you seen anyone you think is cute yet?”
Cady didn’t know how to answer. There was definitely one person that came to mind, but she didn’t know if she should say the name. Gretchen might react badly if Cady told her, which would most likely lead to her getting kicked out of the Plastics.
But at the same time, she didn’t want to lie. 
“Well… there’s this one.. girl.” The last word was quiet and hesitant, but Gretchen picked up on it.
“Oh my gosh, who is it?” She asked excitedly. “Do you think it’s just like, a phase, or is it more serious?”
“I dunno.” Cady shrugged. “I haven’t known her too long to be sure.”
“Who is it?” Gretchen leaned forward in her seat, completely invested in Cady’s answer. It took the redhead a long moment of hesitancy to open her mouth.
“It’s Y/n…”
“No!” Gretchen straightened up, looking absolutely horrified. She looked around, ensuring none of the other girls were back yet. “You can’t like Y/n. Not only is she a part of the group, but… Okay, you didn’t hear this from me, and you’re, like, totally forbidden from ever bringing it up. But Regina is really possessive over Y/n. They’ve been best friends for, like, forever, and Regina chases off anyone who tries to so much as ask her out. And it’s not my place to say whether or not it’s more than friendship, but if I had to say something, there’s definitely something going on between them.” Gretchen took a much-needed breath, shaking her head slightly to clear her jumbled thoughts. “Look, the point is, you shouldn’t date friends. Especially Regina’s friends. But don’t worry, I’ll never tell Regina or Y/n what you said. It’ll be our little secret.”
Gretchen gave Cady a sweet smile, and that seemed to be the end of their little conversation. But for the next few days, Cady kept thinking about it.
She didn’t want to get on Regina’s bad side. That would mean no more things to tell Janis and Damian and no more seeing Y/n. And she also didn’t want to freak Y/n out. But just because Cady wasn’t allowed to like Y/n didn’t mean she wasn’t allowed to look at her. Or think about her. Or talk to her.
A few days later, when Cady was with Janis and Damian at the mall, Janis asked when Cady would see Regina next. She said it felt weird to spy on her and that she didn’t want to do it anymore. And sure, it being weird was part of why she wanted to stop. But mainly, it was because Cady had started getting so distracted by Y/n that it was difficult to focus on Regina. Which was strange, because the blonde girl was so alluring. But Janis reassured Cady that Regina would never find out about her double agent status, that it would be their little secret.
So many secrets.
***
“Hello?” Cady held the phone up to her ear, wondering who was calling her at this late hour.
“I know your secret.” Cady stiffened at Regina’s voice coming through the speaker. She internally panicked, trying to figure out what to do. How did Regina figure out about Cady’s spying?
“Secret?” She decided that playing it cool was the better move. “What secret?”
“Gretchen told me that you like Y/n.” Cady relaxed at the fact that Regina had learned about her other secret, before freezing again. Right now, she wondered if it would be better if Regina knew about the spying. “I mean, I don’t care, do whatever you want.” Regina didn’t sound like she didn’t care, but Cady didn’t bring it up. “But let me just tell you something about Y/n: She’s, like, never gone on a date before. It’s not that she’s not pretty or anything, but no one’s ever really been good enough for her.”
“Oh?” What did this mean? Did Regina deem Cady good enough for Y/n after so many others tried and failed? Or was this a set-up?
Honestly, Cady was so happy for Regina’s blessing that she didn’t really care.
“I could talk to her for you, if you want.”
“Really? You would do that?”
“We’ve been friends since like, pretty much birth. I know exactly how to play it.” There was a moment of silence, and Cady could picture Regina picking at her nails. “But wait. Aren’t you mad at Gretchen for telling me? Because if you are, you can tell me. It was a really bitchy thing for her to do.”
“Yeah, it was pretty bitchy, but I’m not mad.” Cady was a little mad, but she didn’t feel like saying that. “I mean, it’s better she told you instead of Y/n. I dunno, I guess she just likes the attention.” Cady didn’t know why she said that last part, but it had just spilled out of her mouth.
“See, Gretch? I told you she’s not mad at you.” Cady was a bit confused, but then another voice spoke.
“I can’t believe you think I like attention!” There was a click, and Cady assumed the Gretchen had hung up. She had no idea she was even listening.
“Okay, love you. See you tomorrow!” Cady could hear Regina’s smile, and then there was another click followed by a dial tone, showing that Cady was now the only one on the line. She then hung up herself, processing the three-way call she had just survived.
And then after that, Cady realized that she had gotten Regina’s blessing to try to pursue Y/n.
***
“What day is it?” Y/n asked, looking down at her worksheet. She didn’t usually do homework at lunch, but lately, some of her classes had been kicking her ass. 
“It’s October third,” Cady answered almost immediately, catching the suspicious eyes of Regina and Gretchen.
“Thanks, Cady,” Y/n said, looking up at the girl and giving her a sweet smile before returning to her paper.
“I dunno why you don’t just ask one of the Mathlete dorks to do it for you,” Regina said, looking over Y/n’s shoulder. “They’d probably even do it for free.”
“We’ve talked about this, Regina. If my teacher didn’t catch on, it would still totally bite me in the ass when I’d have to do a test all by myself.”
“You need help with math?” Cady asked, subtly leaning closer to Y/n. The girl looked at Cady, now completely distracted from her work.
“Yeah! I used to get it, but trig is crazy hard.” Y/n sighed, delicately rubbing at her tired eyes so she didn’t mess up her makeup. “I feel like I’m never gonna get it.”
“I can help you!” Cady said, excited over this opportunity. She had always excelled in mathematics, and now Y/n needs help with that exact subject? It seemed like fate.
“Really?” Both Y/n and Cady missed the slight glare that Regina was giving them. 
“Oh right, Cady’s like, a total nerd.” They also chose to ignore Regina’s snide comment before sipping her Diet Coke.
“That would be amazing, Cady! Maybe I could come over after school today or something?”
Cady was about to say yes, a million times yes, but Regina butted in.
“Y/n, you’re coming over to my house today.” It didn’t really feel like Regina was reminding her of forgotten plans. Instead, it sounded like Regina was coming up with a reason for Y/n to be unavailable. Cady’s suspicions were confirmed by the confused look Y/n gave the blonde.
“I am?”
“Yeah.”
“Oh… Well, how about tomorrow?”
“Perfect!” Cady spoke quickly and enthusiastically before Regina could say another word.
***
Over the next month or so, Cady tutored Y/n a few days every week. It quickly became their favorite part of their days. After helping with a few problems Y/n was stuck on, the two girls would get distracted by conversations about whatever they wanted to talk about. Neither of them felt the need to filter themselves in fear of being made fun of by one of the other Plastics, mainly Regina. Topics ranged from the latest gossip to future plans to their favorite things in media. If Cady had never heard of something Y/n brought up, which was the case nine times out of ten, the tutoring session would turn into a movie night or music party.
“Oh my gosh, so…” Y/n and Cady were in the middle of watching a chick flick that Cady had never seen when Y/n suddenly spoke. “I’m having a Halloween party at my place. We usually do it at Regina’s, but for some reason, she didn’t feel like doing it this year. Are you gonna come?” 
“Yeah, sure.” Cady’s response made Y/n smile brightly, a sight that Cady could never get sick of.
“Awesome!” Y/n sat up from her slouched position, her excitement waking her up from her slightly tired state. “It’s a costume party, which’ll be a lot of fun. I can give you a flier with all the info tomorrow. Even though I know you’re invited, you need the flier to get in. It only admits one person, so don’t bring anyone else with you.”
“Grool.” Y/n blinked in slight confusion, and Cady realized what she had said. “I… I meant to say ‘cool,’ and then I started to say ‘great.’”
Y/n giggled, which made Cady’s cheeks heat up.
“Right. Well, grool.” The two laughed, and then Y/n looked down at her watch. “Oh my gosh, it’s so late. I should probably get going.” With the help of Cady, Y/n gathered her things. “See you tomorrow!” In a flash, Y/n kissed Cady’s cheek before walking out of the room and leaving Cady’s house. Cady’s cheeks felt like they were on fire, and she lightly touched the cheek Y/n had kissed.
***
One thing that no one told Cady was that on Halloween, many girls opted for very revealing costumes rather than actual costumes. So when she arrived at Y/n’s house, she stuck out like a sore thumb in her dead bride attire while her friends wore tight clothes and animal ears.
“Why are you so scary?” Gretchen asked with concern, looking at Cady’s appearance with wide eyes.
“It’s Halloween,” Cady said with a shrug, not knowing what the problem was.
Suddenly, a hand touched Cady’s arm, making her jump. But she quickly relaxed when she saw who was touching her.
“You came!” Y/n squealed, bringing Cady in for a hug. The redhead felt a bit flustered by the contact, plus seeing Y/n in her slightly revealing outfit. When they broke the embrace, Y/n held Cady by the shoulders, surveying her outfit. “And you’re a… zombie bride…?”
“An ‘ex-wife.’” Cady replied, using her fingers to air quote.
“Well, I love it.” Y/n finally let go of Cady, although she wouldn’t have been opposed if she kept holding onto her. “You want something to drink?”
“Sure.”
“I’ll be right back.” 
Y/n squeezed Cady’s arm for a quick moment before turning around. She weaved her way through the crowd to get to the kitchen, where a shit load of different drinks were scattered on the counters. She started mixing a drink for Cady when she felt a presence behind her.
“What the hell is Cady wearing?” Regina asked, squinting to see Cady from across the room.
“She’s a zombie bride!”
“She looks like a freak.”
“Regina!” Y/n set down the bottle she was pouring and looked at the blonde. “Be nice.”
“Whatever.” Regina rolled her eyes, pushing her hair off her shoulder before leaning on the kitchen counter. “You know, you should probably be careful around her. She has a giant crush on you.”
“What?” Y/n’s eyes snapped to Regina, immediately curious. “How do you know?”
“She told me. She tells everybody. It’s kinda cute, to be honest. She’s like a little girl.” Regina laughed, and Y/n tilted her head and raised her brows, silently asking for more details. “Like, she writes ‘Y/n plus Cady’ and stuff like that all over her notebook. And she made this shirt that says ‘I heart Y/n’ and she wears it under all of her clothes.
“Oh, come on.” Y/n sighed and rolled her eyes, figuring Regina had been joking. “That’s not funny, Regina.”
“I’m serious! She’s, like, obsessed with you. And who can blame her?” Regina’s hand reached out and brushed a stray lock of hair away from Y/n’s face. When Y/n looked at her friend, she was suddenly closer than before. “I mean, you’re gorgeous.”
“Regina.”
“If I’m being honest… I hate the way she looks at you.” Regina grabbed Y/n’s chin before she could look away, forcing them to maintain eye contact. “It makes me sick. She should know better than to think she has a chance with you.”
“What are you saying, Regina?” Y/n’s voice was barely a whisper, but the blonde heard her loud and clear despite being in a crowded room with blasting music and semi-drunk teenagers.
“I’m saying you’re mine, Y/n.” With every word, Regina inched closer and closer. “I don’t want you to be with Cady. Or with anyone else.” 
Regina closed the small gap between her and Y/n’s lips, wrapping her arms around Y/n’s body to keep her close. After the wave of shock washed over her, Y/n reciprocated the kiss. Neither of them cared about any of the people around them watching. Including Cady, who watched from across the room with watery eyes and a breaking heart. 
Cady had lost Y/n to a competition she didn’t even know she had. Y/n had finally gotten the girl she had been wanting for years after being kept at arm’s length away. And Regina had once again ruined someone else’s happiness for her own.
***
Regina George Taglist: @wedfan2 @pyro-les @natashamaximoff-69
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shapard · 8 months
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Feather of Fate🕊️
Lucifer x Seraphim!fem!reader
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Soulmate arc
A/n: A little bit late for Valentine, but here ya go! Idk when I'll continue this, but this has been stuck in my brain for a long time.
Goldwing
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Chapter 1 > Chapter 2
You’ve heard about the story tales from your Mother Sera. How Lucifer has fallen because of his bizarre dreams.  To give humans a free will, which cost chaos to the world. 
As a punishment he was forced out of heaven with his Love Lilith. Sera claims that she wanted you to be safe, so there is one top rule she set up: Don’t Question heaven. 
You keep on holding tight to this one rule, not like your sister Emily. She gets into a lot of trouble when you’re not watching, which gets you also in trouble. 
Big Sister, Big responsibility, that’s what your mother always says. 
Sitting on the couch looking down at the apple sign on your wrist. It was a small apple with a snake surrounding it. It’s a Soulmate mark.
Every Angel gets a soulmate, so they get the perfect heir, some angels describe It as a heart pull and ache. You don’t really enjoy that you’re forced to love someone. It’s somewhere unfair that humans can marry someone they choose to love and trust. Meanwhile when Angels reject their bond, it will kill the two Soulmates in a span of time. 
Even when they’re too long apart it will show in a disturbing way. Aggression, Not eating, no sleep, the list goes on and on.
Putting your sleeve above your mark, not wanting anyone to see it. You got once because of it in trouble. Not a pleasant memory that you want to re live.
It does remind people of Lucifer, but he got Lilith, his soulmate. So that possibility is shrunk to zero. Why else sacrifice living in heaven for a woman?
Today was the meeting with Charlie the daughter of Lucifer. She wanted to talk about a hotel named Hazbin Hotel. 
…Time Skip…
The court room was all a mess, chaos has broken out whispering and hushes echoed through the pearly white halls. 
Emma broke the Silence with her soft singing voice “But she was right, Sera. She Showed us the soul can Improve. He saw the light, Sera. Checked all the boxes that you said would.” You Interrupted Emily and for the first-time in your live, you disobeyed the one set rule. 
“Prove a person deserve a second chance, now we turn our Backs, no second glance?” Sera looked towards you slightly disappointed but also guilty. 
Then the bomb was thrown in the room, extermination. It left you speechless. Why hide something like this and say it was for protection? 
It all went down so quick and with one move you started to doubt everything in heaven. Sera was scared, scared shitless that she’d loose Emily and you, but mostly you. 
You started to Ignore her and rarely left your room. The betrayal was harsh for you. You trusted your mother dearly and now you find out that your mother kills souls because she feels threatened. Threatened because of Lucifers dreams she said was once foolish. 
You started to break rules after Rules, causing a havoc in heaven when you leaked the Information about an extermination in hell. And in less than a week you were in chains in the courtroom. 
“Do you have any Idea what damage you’ve done Y/n?” Sera’s voice echoed through those now soulless halls. The seats now all almost empty. “What damage I’ve done? You call me the Imposter, but have you ever thought what you’ve done? You lied to your people AND your Family Sera.” 
Ouch, you never called her Sera just Mom. “Just do it already, I’m tired of hanging in here and watching my failure of a mother trying to push this longer.” You spat on the cold floor. The coldness reminds you how the last few days felt in heaven. Cold and lonely. “As you wish, do it.” her voice cracked, it was barely audible, but you could hear it. 
You shut your eyes tight and with a swift Moment you felt how your wings were cut off, your scream filled these cool, lonely court room. Sera was already gone, not wanting to see how she failed in one of her children.
The rest of your wings were ripped out of your back, making gold blood squirting all over the white floor painting it in a unique color. And then you fell, too exhausted to let out a desperate call for the comfort of your own mother.  
She didn’t even stay. 
Tears pooled lightly out of your eye. Even though heaven didn’t feel like home anymore, you’ll still miss heaven. 
The wind gushed on your Injured back making it only hurt more than it already does, you fell so fast, this is something you never really experienced you never fell as an Angel. But you fell, you fell deep and Landed on the ground. 
It the worst you’ve felt in these last hundred years of living. The bone that was connecting your wings with your body broke more into splinters at the impact. It had dirt sticking on your bones making you hiss as you tried to stand up making them move slightly in the dust. No success. 
You tried a couple more times, but you feel your stamina running out fast, so you just gave up. You laid there for a couple of seconds before you eventually pass out. 
Lucifer sat in his magic room, where his magical creations came from. The only thing besides Charlie what kept him happy. He took final glances at his old façade. 
It’s time to move on and move into the Hazbin hotel, even though he hates that radio guy, he does everything for his little Charlie. He walked out of his mansion closing it with a key. Taking a deep breath, he spun around and was ready to go. 
Something crashed loud in front of him, swirling all the dirt into Lucifers face. He coughed and waved the dust away. “What the fuck?” He looked at the cause for this early tumult, only to see a very beautiful woman in front of him. It didn’t take him a while to see that she was pretty bad Injured. His eyes dropped at the golden blood. “Oh no.”
The figure tried to stand up but fall multiple times and passed out after a while. No, no, no, no. Turning her around to see the damage, and it is bad. 
Three main bones ripped and broken apart, making him note down that she wasn’t just any Angel, she is a seraph. “Let me help you.” He carried her body very carefully, so he couldn’t do more damage towards her back. Teleporting himself and his other stuff in the hotel apartment, he laid you on his bed with your belly pressed on the mattress. 
He started to heal your back slowly and washed off the dirt from your face and the injury. He knew he couldn’t fully heal her wings back. But she could survive this with his help. And in an odd reason he couldn’t let her die. Some kind of pull on his heart making him already slightly attach towards the sleeping beauty. 
And this routine was repeated every day and when he realized her back was fully healed, he turned her on her back again. Seeing her now in all her beauty. 
“How can someone be this pretty?” he moved a hair strand out of your face and held your cheek. Stroking it a couple of times, it is as if he’s hypnotized. 
Shaking his head, he let go of her very quickly, “Lucifer you can’t just touch someone, she doesn’t even know you nor who you are.” He bit his long-clawed hand, debating whether he should go or not. 
In the end he left the room with heavy displeasure. Somehow not being near you made him angry. You were hurt and needed every protection he could offer. 
His mind screamed at him to go back to you, but he didn’t. This feeling confused the king of hell but, His mind and body were almost like two separate people.
 He pulled up his sleeve looking down at the red apple mark with a golden blue snake on it, like his halo. It was his Soulmate mark, he loves or loved Lilith dearly, but she wasn’t his mate. 
They both thought it may didn’t showed because Lilith is after all a human. Even when he had a soulmate, after landing in hell, he knew he’d never see his soulmate ever. 
He pulled his white sleeve again over the mark, not wanting to think about the what ifs. Maybe helping his daughter would keep his mind from you. “Let’s help Charlie.” 
After a while Lucifer still caught himself worried about you. 
You were laying on his bed for weeks, he healed you every morning and every evening hoping that you’d finally wake up. 
The arch angel Lucifer, and now king of hell, was worried about a seraph, what sarcasm. 
Getting ready for bed, Lucifer started to dress himself in his night gown and went to the couch. Since you’re sleeping on his bed, Lucifer decided to sleep on the couch. He didn’t want to disturb your healing progress
Hugging yourself into this blanket was heaven, and the smell of sweet apple and an alluring scent of musk. You never want to leave this place, for the first time since months you felt in peace. 
Fluttering your eyes open, you stretched you arms and legs, but one thing was missing. Your wings. And then reality came crushing down on you. You fell, from heaven. Your mother let you fall down the drain. She lied and didn’t even try to explain it to you. 
It was hard to breath as if you’d re-live the horror of falling from heaven down to hell.
You shacked uncontrollable making you Fall out of the bed. Out of habit you tried to fly those few centimeters. 
With a shallow thumb you fell on the floor. 
You winced from the Impact, and you tried to push yourself up with the next high object with shivering hands. 
This was a different gravity situation. 
Without your wings you slumped forwards, nothing to weigh your back. 
You pushed yourself upwards with the help of the shelf above you. The shelf lets out a creak from your weight and you fall back down with the shelf. 
The whole content on the shelf fell and crashed into pieces and you fell right into them. 
The ceramic pieces digged into your freshly healed wounds, you know that when you move, you’ll re-open the back wound. 
Out of panic your body began to move on autopilot.
With low groans and muffled screams, you leaned on the bed, golden blood smearing around the broken shelf and the white mattress. 
You started to sob at the pain. 
It was dark and all you wanted was to bathe yourself in the scent of that blanket. 
You searched for it. 
In the darkness you couldn’t quite figure it out where the blanket was but after a while you found it.
Holding the piece of cloth on your nose just to smell the comforting scent. You yelped when the light flicker on. A figure standing in the light. The figure was about 5’10 tall. 
You hid behind the blanket not wanting to look at the sudden appearance at the front door. 
Lucifer shot up at the sound of breaking ceramic. His mind told him to run towards the sound that came out of your room making him high alert. 
An Intruder? 
But who’d dare to come into the king of hells chamber?
Then he remembered that you were in his room, and without second thought he rushed towards your bedroom turning on the lights.
“You’re awake!”
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Rambling thoughts of various Yuri manga I’ve read
1. Kase-San and Yamada (Morning Glories sequel series) by Hiromi Takashima
notice how Kase’s name is first, which is representative of her being the main one to cause problems in their relationship
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If you asked me what my favorite yuri manga was like 2-3 years ago, I’d say Morning Glories and Kase San everytime. Every avid yuri fan has either read or watched Morning Glories because, at the time in 2010, it was groundbreaking, and I stand by the fact that the original series still holds up to this day. It was cute, sweet, wholesome and only had a few obligatory “we love each other but we’re giRLs😳😳😳” moments. Most of all it wasn’t a pseudo-incest-straight-male-porn-pandering-garbage-fest—also known as “Citrus”. Was it cliche at times? Yes, but they all are lol. Did they add to the dumb ass “blonde femme and dark hair masc” trope? Also yes. But it was adorable and it was my first ever yuri so it holds a special place in my heart.
And it SEEMED like it was only going to get better in Kase San and Yamada, the sequel. The girls would be heading to college and the story could theoretically focus on more mature topics while they navigate their new relationship. Keyword: theoretically. Unfortunately, instead of exploring interesting relationship dynamics and storylines, the plot of each story arc boils down to: Kase is insecure because a man breathed next to Yamada or Kase is being completely insensitive to Yamada’s feelings…again…—> ✨miscommunication drama ✨—>big over dramatic apology scene—>boring makeup sex or other romantic gesture.
Literally that’s how every single plotline goes. Kase is so goddamn dumb and insensitive to Yamada’s feelings and Yamada’s a complete doormat who can only stay mad for 0.2 seconds before getting pussy whipped like a spineless ass bitch. And for all that Yamada sacrifices for Kase; her hometown, her dreams, her apartment, what does she get in return from Kase? Oh that’s right; bare minimum romantic gestures and a neglectful partner who can’t even call her “girlfriend” in front of others:
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Like I thought we were over this shit. It’s been THREE years of them together, a whole anime production, and god knows how many irl years and we’re going back to “we love each other but we’re giRLs😳😳😳” WHY???
And then Kase later goes onto bet her entire three year relationship over the ugly bitch in the next panel, so now I’m questioning whether or not Kase even loves Yamada with the amount of bullshit she’s put her through. Which COULD be an interesting plot point, but Kase never gets any consequences for her actions and the creator genuinely thinks this is romantic and full of tension so I’m 10000% positive that this arc, just like all the others, will end with some makeup sex and we’ll be right back to step 1. Sigh.
2. Tamen De Gushi by Tan Jiu
Tamen De Gushi’s problems are interesting but it’s NOT because of the Chinese government💀
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So today’s dark haired masc and blonde femme of the day are Sun Jing and Qiu Tong, respectively. Their personalities aren’t anything to write home about, if you read ANY high school yuri romance, then you know exactly what happens in this story beat for beat. But, BUT, however derivative it is, I find their dynamic very endearing and down to earth. Idk maybe it’s just the translation, but other yuri stories often have this very inauthentic “anime” vibe to it. Which is to say the characters act very cutesy, overly dramatic, and have this stilted, caricature-esque acting of how the creator thinks teenage girls are supposed act.
However, I’m happy to report that Tamen De Gushi is a breath of fresh air in this regard. The characters and interactions they have are grounded and feel organic, which makes them feel like real people, not aliens pretending to be human. This really elevates the humor in turn, oh did I mention that Tamen De Gushi is super funny? Because Tamen De Gushi is super funny, here’s one of my favorite panels and it’s all because of Sun Jing’s goofy ahh expression:
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Like go girl give us nothing
If you’re wondering why I haven’t spoke much about the actual romantic relationship between the girls, that’s because there isn’t one💀 Which, okay, that’s not a fair assessment, they have a ton of romantic tension and they flirt a lot. It’s certainly building to a great romantic relationship, but it can’t quite get there due to legal/political reasons sadly. 😔
Edit: I received new information in regards to what happened to Tamen De Gushi. While I reached my limit for posting pictures, I want to point out that the Chinese government had nothing to do with Tamen De Gushi getting censored, rather it was a dispute between the author and the publishing company. The prior information I received was false and I prob should’ve looked it up more so sorrrry. The fact still remains though that after their big lesbian kiss towards the middle of the story and maybe a few other moments, that’s just kind of it. You’re stuck waiting for something to develop, but nothing really happens. The comic very quickly becomes a collection of slice of life segments and cute pictures that imply a relationship between the girls, but not really ;) ;).  Now things are just kind of left in purgatory for the foreseeable future and, well, that’s Tamen De Gushi y’all.
Compared to Kase San and Yamada, the characters were much better, which is not saying much, but without an actual romantic storyline, there’s just not a lot for me to comment on to be honest. It’s really pretty though, look at this art :
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3. Beauty and the Beast Girl by Neji
my personal favorite and the BEST yuri I ever read
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So next on the list is Beauty and the Beast Girl (I’m going to abbreviate to BatBG from here on) , which I already spoiled my feelings on the matter so this will basically be me gushing about this story for several paragraphs straight, enjoy.
Contrary to what the title suggests, it really has nothing to do with Beauty and the Beast’s story except in name. The main girls are Lily Blind, who is actually fucking blind 💀 and Heath the monster girl. Already I’m happy because instead of blonde femme and dark hair butch, it’s blonde femme and of-course-you-have-purple-hair-and-pronouns masc. Lol, all jokes aside, Lily, unlike her blonde femme counterparts is quite assertive and voices her opinions all the time. In fact, she’s the one who pushes Heath to be more open and communicate with her rather than the other way around. This is, in part, due to the story BatBG is trying to tell. I say BatBG is in name only to Beauty and the Beast because Lily isn’t trying to find the “beauty” within Heath or learning to love a beast or whatever, she’s fine just the way she is and her love for Heath is unconditional. Plus the only thing beastly about Heath is her appearance…which I’ll harp on later, but her behavior is in no way different from a regular human except in very rare, specific moments.
At its heart, BatBG is a story about forgiveness (the creator literally says as much) , but it’s also about the cycle of violence that results from being outcasted and deprived of love. BatBG is set in a world of humans and monsters, where the monsters are outcasted and either have to stay away from human society like Heath or assimilate themselves by hiding away their monster like traits, which is a really queer narrative on top of an already queer story. I don’t want to go into too much spoilers, but sometime before the beginning of the story, Heath in-directly hurts Lily before they ever meet. However, it’s not about Lily needing to forgive Heath, or trying to get over the pain she inflicted upon her, rather its Heath learning to forgive herself and in effect, learning to love herself as much as Lily loves her.
Another big aspect of BatBG is disabilities, Lily Blind is in fact Blind lol and while there are times she struggles with her blindness, she never views her disability as something she needs to be ashamed of and never, ever, blames Heath for it or holds it against her unlike what many, many, many, many other stories end up doing. Her blindness isn’t treated like a super power either, it’s a legitimate disability. She just accepts that it’s a part of her and goes onto say that if not for her blindness, she would’ve never met the love of her life, which I found to be an incredibly profound thing to say.
Now that I’ve gotten this far, I suppose I can add a bit of a disclaimer. So BatBG is waaaaay more explicit about the physical affection between the girls than in any of the previous stories I talked about. Heath and Lily are constantly kissing on, hugging, and almost always flirting with each other, and make no mistake, these girls do be fucking. The sex scenes are never perverted or gross, but genuinely super sweet and romantic, which makes it way hotter imo (huh imagine that🤔). And aside from being hot, it also serves a purpose! Lily’s pretty damn horny underneath all her nice girl antics and while it’s not a major part of her character, it does give a slight edge to her personality and, most importantly, balances out the dynamic between Heath and Lily. It would’ve been very easy to fall into that boring trope where Heath is aggressively horny and Lily is the submissive blind girl, but by making Lily be the one to initiate the sexual encounters, it not only compliments Heath’s more reserved nature, but breaks the stereotype that people with disabilities are pure precious being who couldn’t possibly have sex, which is ableist af btw. Many people think the existence of any sex scenes at all is superfluous, but in BatBG, it truly elevates the story, the characters, and the romance in ways that wouldn’t be nearly as satisfying without it.
Now, with as much praise I gave BatBG, there is one criticism I have, but it’s a quibble really, and it can be explained in a single image:
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There is a dissonance between the story and the art, the story says: “Heath is a big, ugly scary monster”
The art says:
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And like yes, it can be argued that Heath is simply regurgitating the things bigoted people have said to her, but at no point in the story is this ever challenged or brought up in any meaningful way. Lily is blind so she doesn’t know what the hell she looks like and the other characters aren’t any help either. It’s not a big deal or anything, it just would’ve elevated the story if Heath was actually kinda ugly/more monstrous and not incredibly beautiful because right now it’s giving skinny girl who calls herself fat all the time, and it’s like, babe, who tf are you fooling? 😭
Other than that, BatBG is incredibly profound despite its premise being so deceptively simple and I love it to pieces so …yeah! READ IT.
4. Superwomen in Love! Honey Trap and Rapid Rabbit by sometime
Well, at least there are no blondes
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So imma just abbreviate to SiL btw
Alright, let’s get started. The premise is that a villainess falls for the super hero girl and then that plotline is dropped in about 16 pages. I’m not even joking, the villainess falls for the hero, loses her job as a villain and then joins the hero all in one chapter. The REAL plot is actually about a council of evil alien-humans who want to destroy humanity because of generic super villain reason #434: the leader of the aliens is sad and misunderstood :( I’m not even going to lie, I had 0 interest in “X” (the generic ass name of the main villain) and her band of useless lesbians. They did literally nothing in the story except be a nuisance and contribute to X’s incel breakdown at the end. Their inclusion actively made SiL worse because the story has this weird tonal problem where in one breath the villains are portrayed as complete jokes and then you turn the page and now they’re shooting children like girl what💀 And these useless lesbians hog sooooo much of SiL that desperately needed to be given to Honey trap and Hayate to develop their relationship.
When the story DOES actually focus on Honey Trap and Hayate, it’s pretty good, even cute at times, there just wasn’t enough time given to them to flesh their relationship out. As it stands, Honey Trap and Hayate don’t have much of a dynamic, or personality for that matter. Honey Trap’s main gimmick is that she’s extremely horny for Hayate and delulu:
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Aside from that, she’s a great value version of Heath, but even a watered down character is better than, like, nothing. All I really know about Hayate is that she’s nice, heroic, likes wearing tacky clothes and ….that’s it. She loves Honey Trap because…………they fought together a few times so why not🤷‍♀️ I’d say at least that’s better than Tamen De Gushi, but actually it’s not because these grown ass women don’t even kiss , all we get is a love confession and their gremlin love child and that’s supposed to be satisfying I guess.
And the worst part is that SiL has the audacity to pretend the romance was something that it clearly wasn’t:
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Girl…yall were “””enemies””” for 10 panels.
Now, it’s stated they have been rivals for a while, but I guess Honey Trap forgot all of that because the moment she sees Hayate’s face, my good sis is pussy whipped for life. And that’s in spite of apparently being the evilest one out of the evil group because Honey Trap has no grudge or baggage toward Hayate. She immediately turns good with no issues and Hayate is only distrustful of Honey Trap for 1 or 2 speech bubbles and then she’s not. Anything else that happened was off screen, which means it didn’t happen. Ironically, the very next entry on this list will do a MUCH better job at an ex-villain love story, but for SiL, there’s just not much going on.
Another reading of this story is to call it a “parody” but…no, it isn’t. SiL isn’t a comedy, yes there are comedic moments that poke fun of the genre, but the rest of the story genuinely wants you to take it seriously. Except it can’t. X and her league of dimwits are boring as piss and they oscillate between Saturday morning cartoon villains and child murderers seemingly on a whim. So I can neither be endeared to them nor take them as a serious threat. Honey Trap and Hayate are there, but I lament on all the potential lost from what could’ve been an amazing relationship.
5. Yamujiburo/Kianamaiart’s Hanamusa webcomic
This one is kind of cheating, but I also don’t care let me talk about hot MILFs💀
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So the final entry on this list is a webcomic series by one of my fave artist: kianamaiart! And it’s right here on tumblr so check it out!
I stumbled upon this webcomic a few weeks ago, fell in love and now I want to talk about it. This yuri pair thankfully has no blonde femme in sight and instead features two popular Pokémon characters: Jessie from Team Rocket and Delia Ketchum, Ash Ketchum’s mom. What I love about this ship and the world Kiana creates around them is that it’s a very unconventional pairing. There’s just not many romances where a single mom falls in love with an ex gang member and the best part is, Delia being a mom is a big part of her character and she doesn’t ignore Ash in favor of her new relationship with Jessie. She has time for both and doesn’t prioritize one over the other, which many ppl fail to do even irl so good on you Delia!
Now, as for the romance it self, Jessie and Delia are a unique pair. Jessie’s overconfident, brash, drama queen personality doesn’t automatically put her in the “dominant” role and Delia’s sweet, motherly personality doesn’t automatically put her in the “submissive” role. Their dynamic in the webcomic actually plays out in the reverse, Jessie is the one who gets easily flustered and Delia’s…intense, to say the least:
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(But Tbf if Delia looked at me like that I’d be at her beck and call too💀)
This subversion of these tropes creates a fun dynamic for the couple and it’s super adorable to see how their energies bounce off each other in each new situation Kiana puts them in. I also love how both Jessie and Delia inspire each other to live out their dreams and they become better versions of themselves by being together.
And one last thing, I don’t have any smart commentary to go along with this, I just really like this drawing of Jessie:
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no thoughts, head empty
Final Thoughts
Soooo yeah, that’s the end of my dissertation on yuri comics. I know I ended up dragging a lot of popular yuri, but it wasn’t my intention to make you guys hate any of things I talked about. These were just my thoughts as an avid yuri fan, so let me know your thoughts as well, especially if you read any of the yuri I talked about. And even though I’m super picky about the type of yuri I read, I’d still love to hear any recommendations. Who knows, it might dethrone the undefeated champ that is Beauty and the Beast Girl.
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babydollmarauders · 11 months
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COUSIN — MEDIA MANAGEMENT: BONUS EDITION
au masterlist
y/ndevils00
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liked by jackhughes, lhughes_06, and 579,824 others
y/ndevils00 hi, people are more than a little confused and beginning to get suspicious and i’ve even seen a few baseless rumors about me floating around, so i’d like to clear the air;
to most people, this is ✨Sidney Crosby✨, the 1st overall pick of the 2005 draft, and captain of the Pittsburgh Penguins.
to me, this is my older cousin, Sid (or Father Sid, as i like to call him, but he says that makes him feel old… as it should, because he is.)
i haven’t been extremely open about my relation to Sid, particularly because: do you know how many embarrassing stories this man has to tell about me? but also because i’ve never wanted people to look at me any differently. i’m just y/n, and to me, this is just Sid.
but i’m about to get a little mushy. for as long as i can remember, Sidney has been my rock, my best friend, and my protector. a little fun fact for you guys, i moved in with Sidney when i was 14. sick of life in Cole Harbour, and missing my Sid, i attended high school in Pittsburgh. i did homework at Pens practices, i played high stakes games of old maid with Geno, and i got grounded by Sid for sneaking out (and usually got ungrounded by the next day because… who can stay mad at THIS face?). Sid was the first person i told about thinking of going into social media management in the NHL, and he was also the one who told me to go after my dreams and never let anyone tell me i couldn’t.
when i was born, Sidney, at 14, immediately took his role as big cousin a step further. in his eyes, i wasn’t just his little cousin, but a second sister. and 22 years later, he says i’m the reason for his gray hairs (you’re welcome!). i couldn’t have asked for a better cousin, big brother, and father figure all wrapped up in one.
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user66 JACK HUGHES IS DATING SIDNEY CROSBY’S COUSIN?!
jackhughes you were the cutest child, and i’m so glad you love Sidney. but it’s still a bit weird walking through our apartment and having his grad picture hanging up in the hallway
y/ndevils00 that sounds like a you problem <3
jackhughes i’m taking it down
y/ndevils00 YOU WILL NOT!
jackhughes you’re not here! you can’t stop me!
user27 AWWW LITTLE Y/N WITH COUSIN SID 🥹
user83 i thought she couldn’t skate?
y/ndevils00 i can’t, that’s why Sid is picking me up 🥲 that was the first, last, and only ‘skating with sid’ i ever did— he gave up on me pretty quickly
jackhughes i can’t say i blame him
y/ndevils00 @/jackhughes aren’t you supposed to love me unconditionally?
jackhughes not yet, we aren’t married
y/ndevils00 @/jackhughes and who’s fault is that?
trevorzegras i’m never forgiving you
y/ndevils00 oh god, what did i do?
trevorzegras YOU TOLD HIM TO PUSH ME
y/ndevils00 i did not! you’re spreading lies on my name 🤧
trevorzegras HE LITERALLY PUSHED ME AND SAID “Y/N SAID TO DO THAT”
y/ndevils00 well he’s old and senile and didn’t know what he was talking about
john.marino97 i’m telling him you said that
y/ndevils00 @/john.marino97 tell him. i’m not scared of him!
y/ndevils00 @/john.marino97 YOU ACTUALLY TOLD HIM?! HOW COULD YOU BETRAY ME LIKE THIS?! I’M PRETTY SURE HE JUST GROUNDED ME?? AND IDK HOW BUT I KNOW HE’LL FIND A WAY TO SEE IT THROUGH
user15 y/n getting getting grounded by Sid even at 22 and no longer living with him is so… 😭😭
jackhughes i’ve been recruited. give John your phone for the next 24 hours
y/ndevils00 NO!
jackhughes okay, then iceberg goes in the microwave
y/ndevils00 NO! YOU CAN’T DO THAT! HE’S A PENGUIN, HE HAS TO BE COLD! DON’T MAKE HIM GO THROUGH GLOBAL WARMING
jackhughes he’s a stuffed penguin…
y/ndevils00 can you just give me 20 more minutes? 🥺
jackhughes 20 minutes and then you hand it over
user07 “my sid” oh look i’m crying 🥹
ryangraves27 Crosby told me to tell you to give John your phone?
y/ndevils00 RYAN!! MY SWEET VAMPIRE BABY!! I’VE MISSED YOU!!
ryangraves27 1) i’m older than you. 2) i’m still not a vampire. 3) we text every week and you saw me tonight after the game.
y/ndevils00 aww you’re still just as stoic and bland as a piece of white bread 🫶🥹
ryangraves27 just give John your phone, please. i’m begging now.
y/ndevils00 aww even your begging is boring!
user64 but… does that mean her last name is Crosby?
y/ndevils00 indeed! y/n Crosby! can you believe Jack never caught onto the fact that i’m related to Sid until i TOLD him AFTER we started dating?
jackhughes HEY! i wasn’t gonna assume! Crosby isn’t a super uncommon last name! and i’m not the only one because nobody else on the team has just assumed you’re related to him either!
y/ndevils00 @/dawson1417 ah, yes, Dawson fainted when he found out!
dawson1417 I DIDN’T FAINT! I TOOK A NAP!
y/ndevils00 @/dawson1417 whatever you have to tell yourself in order to keep your dignity <3
dawson1417 YOU TEXTED AND TOLD ME RIGHT BEFORE MY PRE-GAME NAP BEFORE MY FIRST GAME AGAINST THE PENS??
y/ndevils00 @/dawson1417 and then in your 8th game against them, you got your first hatty!! and i was so proud!!
user90 HUGHES X CROSBY COUPLE— WE ALL KNEW JACK AND Y/N WERE A HOT AND POWERFUL COUPLE BUT OH MY GOD
e.malkin71geno Miss you little one always
y/ndevils00 i’m always missing you, uncle G!! and missing Nikita even more!!
e.malkin71geno Crosby say give your phone to Marino
y/ndevils00 well you can tell Sid i said he’s not the boss of me anymore!
e.malkin71geno try me, kid - Sidney
y/ndevils00 shit, no, nevermind
user39 NOT Y/N GETTING CROSBY TO USE SOCIAL MEDIA ON GENO’S PHONE IN ORDER TO THREATEN HER
lhughes_06 still kinda bizarre tbh. how did Sidney Crosby have a hand in raising your wild ass
y/ndevils00 his routines are what made me this way!
_quinnhughes how?
y/ndevils00 @/_quinnhughes they’re how i learned that i prefer chaos and fun <3
edwards.73 YOU’RE A CROSBY?!
y/ndevils00 yes??
edwards.73 SO A CROSBY IS SCARED OF ADAM FANTILLI?!
y/ndevils00 DON’T SAY HIS NAME, YOU’LL SUMMON HIM
adamfantilli i promise i’m nice! you met me this summer, you know i am!
y/ndevils00 LUCA SAID YOU BITE
jackhughes so do you? constantly.
john.marino97 Sid introducing me to you 4 years ago is both a blessing and a curse ♥️
y/ndevils00 AWWWW THAT’S SO SWEET
john.marino97 now give me your phone
y/ndevils00 see you guys on saturday 😪 guess i’m going on a 24hour phone detox
user74 BYE! I’LL MISS YOU TOMORROW!!
john.marino97 and i won’t! finally, silence on my instagram!
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matan4il · 6 months
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911 ep 704 first watch reactions
IDK if anyone else will talk about this, but Josh and Maddie were a great comedic start to this ep! XD Also. Interesting choice to give Josh, the currently only openly gay male character on the show, more lines again. Is it a reminder he's there, so he can be a part of Buck's journey later on? *eyes emoji* We'll see.
All of these pretty women (I should also mention that as a non-American, all the gasped, "It's Joey!" "It's you!" "It's me!" are missing me by a kilometer. Whoever Joey is, he's not Madonna yet, if you want me to get excited about him, 911, you're gonna have to give me a bit more than a single name), hitting on Buck and Eddie, and the ease with which both men turn them down... Sure, this is a part of the set up regarding Buck, and Eddie technically has an excuse, but also. Most straight, taken men would at least be tempted. They'd at least bite their lips with frustration. Have some reaction. But not Eddie. And when you remember that he was distinctly not taken in ep 204, but still had the same reaction to pretty young women hitting on him and Buck... I know this ep is all about celebrating the 'oh' moment of another guy, but that's not gonna stop me from rooting for Eddie to have similar realizations eventually (and get together with that certain other guy *cough*).
LMAO So, Buck is meeting up with the guy who's gonna be his sexual awakening, a man who's good looking, gave him a thrill already, is an impressive fighter pilot, and the first thing he can think of to say, is blurt out Eddie's name? LMAO Oh, this boy really is down bad...
Man, that bit where Tommy tells Buck he can have it both ways, he can get certified and continue to serve with the 118. Thanks for the beautiful foreshadowing, 911. Buck saying he's keeping his options fluid... Holy shit, the show really wasn't holding any punches back.
OMG, why is Harry old enough to be making Bathena waffles (and then turn out to be involved in an altercation)? I swear, he was still on baby formula just a second ago. How did 7 seasons just fly by!?
Buck getting jealous over Eddie and Tommy sparring. Considering the fact that Buck was the one getting all hot and bothered over semi-naked Eddie in the gym in 201, and ready to jump into a boxing match with him, this is making me wanna punch a wall myself. The symbolism in this ep is NOT very veiled. Add to that Eddie mentioning how he and Tommy met and just... clicked. In the same conversation that reminds us of Buddie' in 201's first meeting, where they clicked? (even though they were both too dumb to realize in what way) 911, just let me catch my breath for a second challenge! Also, Eddie is dating Tommy more intensely than he is Marisol? Okay. Duly noted. These firefighters are both so freaking hetero, I'm sure that's exactly what every casual viewer was telling themselves at this point. And poor Buck, getting his hopes up that Eddie is asking him when he's free, so they can go on a date themselves, only to be let down. Poor baby boy. But this feels like it's spelling out the answer to whether Buck's jealous over Tommy or Eddie. So, yay for Tommy helping him with his bi awakening. But it's clear who's really occupying Buck's heart and mind, and whose time he wants. FOR SIX FREAKING SEASONS NOW.
Oh, it's continuing, the show really is trying to kill me, having Buck complain to Maddie about how often Eddie has been seeing Tommy. The annoyance with how cool Tommy is, that's exactly Buck's reaction to Eddie in 201. So, if Buck and Tommy will then kiss, what does that say about what Buck didn't even realize he wanted to happen with Eddie back then, hmmm? I also love that Buck wants to be the cooler "dad's friend" in Christopher's eyes. That's his son, you can't take that away from him. And of course, Maddie was his first confidante about his feels for Eddie, she was the first one to call out his boy crush (in 204) and to hear Buck automatically think about Eddie, when he hears, "He's cute!" (in 206). It's so freaking right that she is now the witness to Buck's bi jealousy meltdown. I love her calling him out on it. "Is it circled with a heart around it?" Honestly, this is better than front row seats at the Bachelor mansion. I'm just disappointed in Chimney and his imaginary popcorn that he doesn't get to witness all of this firsthand and get what it means. Letting down all Bachelor fans out there, Chim. -_-
And then Buck's back in the gym, staring at Eddie, feathers ruffled. Am I going to make it to the end of this ep? Who cares? This is fantastic! XD He tries to catch Eddie's attention with the little weightlifting without a spotter stunt, and it's specifically him. Chim turned out to also be impressed by how cool Tommy is, but Buck is circling Eddie, like a clueless Jane Austen heroine, about to become a hit teen romance movie. Ravi falling for Buck's weightlifting attention trap is just getting in the way. Chim asking about Buck's weird basketball hugging session is nothing but a way to get to the ball game with Eddie. Okay, I'm at the point where I need to be chewing on imaginary popcorn.
Athena is one of the strongest characters on television, ever. Precisely because she's not just tough when she has to be, she has a heart, too. The scene where she told the woman she accidentally killed her own son was hard to just watch. IDK how she actually did that. I'm not sure if viewers who aren't moms get it, 'coz I didn't until I went with my sister through her pregnancy. Motherhood changes you forever. You feel your kid moving inside you. You bond with them in the most intimate way possible before they're even born. You go on a wild journey with them after, where every second counts, let alone every hour and every day, when they're hungry, when they're cold, when they struggle to sleep, when they finally do, when they take their first step, when they fail and fall... The love and protectiveness are something different to anything else in life. IDK how Athena, who gets all of this, managed to break the news to this mother, that she had unknowingly killed her own kid. I think to me, this has to be the most devastating scene in the entire history of the show. IDK if I'll be able to watch it again.
When basketball game scene starts, and Chimney knows something's up, I was already chuckling. But then Eddie sees them, and the first thing isn't expressing joy that his best friend is there, it's asking how did Chim talk him into this. "He always says no to me." They BOTH always talk about each other in romantic coded language, it's not just Buck, and in the same ep where we get bi Buck confirmed, that makes me froth at the mouth...
"So I'm your basketball beard. I feel so bonded." Not Chimney calling Buck out, while using the term for closeted gay guys using someone as a cover. I AM SCREAMING. Thank you, 911 gods!
That montage with Eddie and Tommy high fiving each other right in front of Buck's salad face, while their muscles glisten in the sun, and Top Gun-like music plays in the background, like the biggest nod to the volleyball scene from that gayest movie ever made, which we already had Buddie paraphrasing in 201. I am fine, this is fine. I love this burning kitchen I'm sitting in.
Buck causing Eddie's injury because of his jealousy (which again, is not about Tommy. He made an impression on Chim as well, who was screaming, "Buck, I'm open! I'm OPEN!") and not even getting to offer some help, because Tommy's already on it... I hope ABC is happy with their viewership dropping next week, because they've killed every Buddie shipper in the fandom.
"Well, I'm not a 14 year old girl..." Both Buck and Maddie together: "So stop acting like one." Love this scene, love these siblings, love that the reference with the two blonde Sarahs sounds platonic, but it's also from a past season on the Bachelor. 911 really wants you to know this is romantic, and Buck's going through a late sexual awakening in his 30's, instead of in his teens, even before he's able to see it.
So, the conclusion to Buck and Maddie's convo is that he needs to talk to Eddie, to make it better, yet the person he ends up talking to is Tommy, and that leads to the bi awakening kiss... It's a classic rom com switch, we hear a knock at the door, we expect it to be THE love interest, showing up at the right time, and it's someone else, making the protagonist's romantic journey so close, but about to get longer. It's further emphasized by a shot over Tommy's shoulder, in a way that he can easily be confused for Eddie, and which is reminiscent of moment when we saw Buck standing at Eddie's door, or both of them there toegther.
It was a nice talk, I loved Tommy saying he can't replace Buck, I def noticed how he went to talk about it in the context of Chris instead of Eddie (hmmm... I wonder why), but my fave part was how Buck glowed when he heard his son doesn't shut up about him. ^u^ He even took a second to look away from Tommy, to take it in with a huge grin. Then Buck and Tommy start warming up to each other, moving towards flirtation, and what comes out of Buck's mouth? "You don't have to tell me how great Eddie is." That's not how you flirt with a guy, Buck. I liked Tommy kissing him, and Buck not recoiling. Like he's always known on some level, but could never do anything about it. "That's better than fake mouth static." LOL The stuff that great romance is made of.
I'm SO happy Buck is getting this storyline of realization he's bi, I've thought it would be important and that the show has laid some groundwork for it since 107, and I don't mind that Tommy is the "romantic other" who helps him with it. I do believe this is important bi representation in and of itself, away from Buddie, and if nothing else ever comes of it, this is still beyond wonderful. In 2024, we still barely have any characters who start out presumed straight, and are allowed the freedom to figure out that maybe their sexual orientation is different than what they thought, despite the fact that in reality, human sexuality is complex and confusing and a mess. So this really matters to me, as a human being, and as a queer person. That said, I can't ignore the past 5 seasons, and the way this storyline played out, with Tommy kissing Buck, but the whole thing being emotionally centered around Buck's feelings for Eddie, it means that whether they go canon or not (and at this point, I find it hard to believe they'd make Buck canonically bi, taking this HUGE risk of homophobic backlash, and not go there with him and Eddie, but just in case they don't, I wanna say this), it'll always be Buddie for me.
Thank you for reading! If you're looking for more, you can find my s7 reactions tag here, and more of my Buddie meta and content in my pinned post. xoxox
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kakujis · 1 year
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what do i call you?;
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summary: oliver thinks you'll be easy, just like the other girls he's slept with. but things are different when you don't cave in like he wants. pt 1 | 2
warnings: college!au, afab!fem reader, fratboy!oliver, wildcard!kunigami, this one is a bit angsty, oliver is actually a big softie, situationships, implied fwb with kunigami + karasu, one sided pining (oliver), oral f!receiving, praise, pet names, p*ssyjob, swearing, mentions of drinking, reader is confused on her feelings, if i missed anything lmk, around 7.1k
an: this took me literal months... send help. well, it's finally here! after months of sitting in my drafts half written, i was able to finish it. if the smut is bad, i'm sorry idk how i did it before LMFAO. thanks to zen for letting me ramble about this in their dms for months. tbh i think this is the longest fic i've written so far and ofc it's about this guy LOL. also, i may or may not have a mini playlist for this so lmk if u any of u would like the link :>. resident of: @enchantedforest-network
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the first time you “meet” oliver aiku, it’s the morning after you were a drunken mess on your best friend’s back. it’s not that he’s surprised to see someone that isn’t sendou shuto in his kitchen, it’s the fact that you’re not walking out yet. instead, you fix yourself a bowl of cereal, barely paying any mind to the brunette watching you. before he can speak you leave, padding back to sendou’s room. 
the second time happens when he catches a glimpse of you in the library with karasu tabito. your arms hanging around his shoulders in a back hug, as you peer down at his laptop. he notes the proximity and nonchalant demeanor of karasu, typing away while he talks to you about his latest class, even with your cheek pressed against his. maybe you’re his girlfriend, he thinks, before shrugging and moving on. 
the third time happens when you stumble down a hallway at a party, bumping into him as you giggle out a quick, “sorry!” but kunigami rensuke isn’t far behind, grabbing your hand and scolding you before he offers an half assed apology as well. he doesn’t think much of it, preoccupied by his own date, until he sees kunigami pick you up as you babble in his ear about something. 
the official meeting is when you’re having a movie night with sendou at his dorm again. your head lays in the red head’s lap, texting your friends as you give distracted “mhm”s to whatever sendou’s saying. 
“are you even paying attention?” sendou asks, eyes flickering between you and the screen. before shoving a handful of popcorn into his mouth. 
“sen, i really don’t care about whichever gravure idol you’re into right now.” you reply, before your lips curve up into a smile at whatever text you’re reading. 
for once, he’s unsure what this feeling is inside him. is it jealousy? awe? he can’t pinpoint the reason why his dual toned eyes always trail to you, taking in your pretty form. but he’s oliver aiku, he could probably get into your pants if he tried hard enough. 
he slides down onto the couch, slinging an arm over sendou. “whatcha watchin’?” he’s not really paying attention to what’s on the tv, their voices muffled as he notes your form through his peripheral. 
the red-head shrugs, “some romcom that she picked out and isn’t even watching.” he pokes your head, “at least introduce yourself.” 
“mm?” you hum, moving your phone away to peek up at oliver. from the way you’re positioned you’re viewing him upside down. you readjust, twisting and pushing yourself up onto your knees, leaning over with one outstretched hand. “hi, i’m y/n.” 
“you’re blocking the screen!” sendou exclaims, but you don’t move, eyes locked on the brunette across from you. 
oliver tries his best not to leer, really, but he drinks you up with his eyes. it’s hard not to since you’re wearing a shirt that’s clearly too big with the way it falls off one shoulder. he thinks you’d look pretty underneath him and wonders if you make even prettier sounds.
he reaches over to shake your hand, to sendou’s dismay, and maybe it’s cliche but he swears he feels a spark for the very first time. it’s something that gets his heart racing, something new and exciting. 
“i’m oliver, nice to officially meet you.” 
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the upcoming months blur and melt into each other, there’s not much to be noted. beyond you coming over every so often to hang out with sendou, what is there beyond soccer practice, classes half paid attention to, and meaningless hookups? frat parties? sure, you both attend them. with each other? not necessarily. 
no, you continue to evade oliver aiku’s grasp. 
“i can’t,” the text reads, “i promised to go with kunigami.” 
he frowns, before typing back: “maybe next time then?” 
“maybe.” 
it’s fine, he thinks, fixing himself another cup of alcohol. he’ll find another girl, it’s easy. but even the ones he’s been with before, the ones who always answer his texts for a quick fuck are starting to bore him. 
it doesn’t help that when you arrive you look so good or that you excitedly greet everyone with a smile and a hug. his hands always linger on the small of your back until you pull away, scampering back over to your date. 
it’s confusing, you swear up and down that you aren’t dating kunigami, but anyone would think you’re with him. especially when your arms are always laced around him, body pressed against his as the two of you talk. he’s always wondered what you could possibly be talking about, kunigami isn’t much for words let alone full blown conversations. but maybe he’s like oliver, fallen deep for how easy it is to talk to you. 
seconds tick into minutes, which turn to hours and before either of you knows it, you’re tipsy, lips curled into a smile as you giggle and shout while your friends play beer bong. he leans against the wall with sendou, trying his best to not stare. 
“you could try talking to her more.” his friend says, breaking the silence between the two. “or are you just gonna stare at her forever?” 
“is she with kunigami or not?” he asks, ignoring the question, “every time i ask her out i get turned down.” 
“yeah, i dunno either, she doesn’t really answer that.” sendou replies, taking another sip of his beer. “i think she’s just messing around, if that helps.” 
if that helps - oliver is pretty sure it doesn’t, but he knows sendou isn’t going to tell him everything. still, the vague response pisses him off. 
there’s also the fact that the two of you have similar friend groups and that you’re a clingy drunk that throws him off. when he finds you in kunigami’s arms again, dozing away in the crook of his neck, the grip intensifies on his cup, indenting the red plastic. his close friends notice it too, the weight of his stare is heavy as if there’s on a spotlight right where you’re sitting. 
but he puts the facade back on when another girl approaches, a welcoming distraction. she’s cute and he recognizes her as being part of his fraternity’s sister sorority. unfortunately, he just can’t focus on her and what she’s saying. his eyes continue to flicker back to you, hot jealousy continuing to bubble in his stomach when he sees kunigami’s hand rub circles on your inner thigh. 
the girl is still talking and he’s doing his best to at least nod when she finishes a sentence. but the final straw is when you sleepily smile at kunigami, as he reads your lips, ‘that tickles!’. 
“hey,” he interrupts, grabbing the closest friend to him, “could you excuse me for a second? by the way, this is sendou.” 
it was brief but for a moment, sendou felt it. the too tight grip on his shoulder and the nails digging into his skin through this cotton tee indicated one thing: jealousy. but before he can speak, oliver’s maneuvering his way through the crowd with a one track mind. 
when he makes it over to you, your grip on kunigami’s shirt is so tight as his hand continues snaking it’s way under the hem of your skirt. you’re not sure if the heat is coming from desire or the alcohol swimming through your veins. your gaze is something oliver’s seen before with countless other girls, it’s sweet, but laced with want. 
“hey, pretty girl.” he says, voice cutting through the air like a knife. 
you tear away from kunigami’s gaze, smiling cutely when you see who it is. “oliver~ hii,” you sing, twisting a little out of the ginger’s grasp to reach your arms out towards him. “come, come.” 
his heart thumps against his chest and he moves closer to bend down and give you a side hug. “what’s up?” 
“mm, nothin’,” you chime, tilting your head to the side, “just hangin’ out, right rennie?” 
rensuke nods, but his eyes are locked on oliver, clearly annoyed at the interruption. his arm finds it’s way around your waist, pulling you closer. 
as fast as you make oliver’s heart race, you’re just as quick to make it drop. it’s a nickname and nothing more, right? so why does it feel like he’s going to throw up? something that sounds sweet on your tongue feels sour on his. 
there’s something beyond the disdain that he hides behind his forced smile and if oliver's one thing, it’s petty. 
“aren’t you a little too drunk, y/n?” he asks, grabbing your arm before pulling you up, maybe it’s the irritation but he almost yanks you out of the ginger’s grip. 
it catches rensuke off guard as you stumble up and out of his lap. you’re shaky on your feet, but oliver’s there to replace not only kunigami but any thought inside your pretty head. 
if you weren’t so drunk you’d probably notice the hammering of his heart as you wrap your arms around his neck for stability. 
“carry me?” you slur and he nods, chest swelling with pride because tonight he won. 
“of course, wouldn’t want anyone takin’ advantage of you.” he smirks, leveling his gaze with kunigami. 
if he was being honest, he would probably lose if he got into a fight with him. yet, the sweet satisfaction that he can hold onto in this moment overtakes that thought. with your head on his shoulder, you start to doze off, missing the way kunigami stands with balled fists. 
“what do you think you’re doing, aiku?” he starts, before moving forward, but oliver steps back.   
“making sure y/n’s alright,” he says, “besides you were pretty touchy just now.” 
“cause she’s my date.” he states, starting to get irritated with how every step he takes forward oliver takes another back. 
“and she’s had too much to drink, right y/n?” you mumble something incoherent and oliver nods. “see?”
the air is tense. not only is oliver edging kunigami on but the group playing beer pong has noticed and quieted down. before things continue to escalate, karasu swings by, wrapping an arm around the wildcard’s shoulders. 
“oi, rensuke we need someone to fill in fer otoya.” he says, eyeing oliver as well. if only he could laugh at the irony. 
if it isn’t number one and number two. he thinks, recalling the amount of time he’s seen you, arms linked with karasu’s as you wander the halls to your next class. but three is the luckiest number, or so he’ll hope. and besides, hierarchies can always change.
rensuke’s quick to shrug the crow off, the scowl on his face ever present, but tabito doesn’t seem to mind. he’s too focused on the sleeping girl in oliver’s arms. 
“well, i don’t really feel like fighting today,” oliver continues, “so we’ll be on our way.” he walks off before the other two can get a word out, nodding to sendou who seems pleased to talk to someone about himself. 
there’s only the sound of the shoes on pavement as oliver walks you home. nestled in his arms, you sometimes perk up to mumble something incoherent or make a noise in his ear. he doesn’t mind, the campus is nice and quiet at night. 
“oliverr,” you slur out, “where are we goin?” 
“home, princess.” he answers, making sure to call you all the nicknames he wants. 
“your dorm?” you ask and he swears the red tips of his ears are from the cold. but it’s not cold at all, it’s the middle spring semester. 
“if you want?” he jokes, before quickly adding, “nah, yours.” he’s told himself before that if he waits it out, he’ll get to you. but it’s been a few months of this back and forth, where you feel so close yet so far. 
“we can’t go to my place!” you whine, “i forgot my key.” 
“and where’s your roommate?” he asks, stopping, because he’s realized another thing. he doesn’t even know where your dorm is. 
“at the party,” you pout, before pulling away and looking at him. “you’re cute, oliver. you should date her.” 
he gives a dry laugh, heart only semi-crushed. you think he’s cute. he’ll take it, especially when it’s beat accelerates further when you push his bangs back. 
“sweaty.” you note, before wiping at his brow. 
“hey,” he says, knowing that a blush has crept onto his cheeks, “stay on track here. where am i taking you tonight?” 
“your place.” you furrow your brow. “how many times do i have to say that?” 
“sorry! just making sure.” he says, shrugging before resuming the walk. it’s not too far off course, if there ever was a course to begin with. 
you settle back into place, head on his shoulder, and humming to yourself. oliver appreciates the music. 
“not gonna take my offer, eh?” you ask, breath tickling his neck. “she’s pretty, funny, but not as funny as me, remember that.” 
“i don’t think i’ve met her before, have i?” he asks, scanning his mind of recent memory. truth be told, he can’t recall you showing up with anyone that wasn’t a guy on the soccer team. 
“hm? you know everyone.” you counter. 
feigning innocence, he asks,“do i?” 
“maybe its because you’ve met soo many girls, you don’t remember her.” you retort and he winces inwardly at the disdain clear in your voice. 
“c’mon now,” he says, “i really don’t know that many.” 
you hum, “mm, i bet if i didn’t show up as often you wouldn’t remember me-” 
he’s quick to cut you off, “not true.” it’s too early to say he loves you, maybe infatuated is a better word. 
“if you say so,” you sigh, mind still buzzed and muddied. “are we there yet? i’m sleepy.” 
“just up the stairs,” he mutters, “feel free to fall asleep.” 
when the two of you arrive at the dorm, you’re fast asleep. he tries to move you onto the couch but you continue to cling, grumpy moans coming from you as he tries to pry you off. 
“you’ll kill me if you wake up in my bed,” he mutters, so he carries you off to sendou’s room. “here, it’s sen’s bed.” 
“don’t go, i need to cuddle with someone,” you mumble, words still slightly slurred, “til sen comes back at least.” 
he stills, knee sinking into the mattress, one hand on your back the other on the bed to steady himself. “you’re gonna kill me when you wake up.” he murmurs, but suddenly the perfume you’ve wearing smells really good. so does your hair and even the skin sticky with sweat is appealing. he wants to stay. 
“noo, i won’t,” you whisper, the scent of alcohol still heavy in your breath. “promise.” 
“…you want me to stay that badly?” he jokes, inwardly cursing at how easy you make him crumble. 
he swears his heart nearly stops when you giggle out a “yeah.” 
he settles in, maneuvering the two of you so that you’re laying on his chest. you fall back asleep quickly, nuzzling into him while your arm is splayed across him. 
it’s comfortable, he thinks, different from the other girls who get up and leave him after sex. not that he ever asks them to stay, actually preferring it when they leave. but he didn’t realize that someone could actually feel this good in his arms. 
“i think i’m actually falling in love,” he scoffs in disbelief, before throwing a palm up to his forehead, a grin plastered on his face. “goodnight, princess.” 
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he’s not surprised that you left before he woke up that morning. what’s actually surprising is how you seem to avoid him more lately afterwards. at least before you’d throw a few snarky remarks his way and listen to him talk for a bit before you’d inevitably wander back to your phone. 
it’s been about two weeks since that night and oliver’s got the message enough to leave you alone for most of the time you’re over. even when you come over for a movie night, he’ll try to keep his talks to you at a minimum. sometimes inviting over another teammate to fill up the awkward silences. 
even before the incident, he thought that maybe there’s a reason for it. a reason that he contemplates more one day as he watches you from the corner of his eye. there’s a reason why you’ll lay in sendou’s lap and not his, why you’ll hold hands with your other friends and not him, why they get meals while he gets scraps. 
he’s got it half right. there’s been too many texts from sendou asking how to get a crying girl out of his dorm, too often have there been “and that’s another one out the dorm,” calls. 
there’s a reason you keep him at arms length, why the most affection you’ll do is give him a quick hug. but he feels that you’re chipping down ever so slightly with each hang out, each party, and each “goodnight.” 
is that why tonight you don’t follow sendou to his room when he says goodnight? why you awkwardly fiddle with your hands, something he’s noticed you do when you’re nervous. he misses you and he feels a little more ambitious or perhaps insane for thinking that you might miss him too. 
he clears his throat, prompting you to peek at him from his side of the couch. “you goin’ to bed?” 
to his relief, you shake your head answering, “not yet, you?” 
“depends. you want company?” he asks, sliding over to where you’re sitting.
you giggle, something he hasn’t heard from his end in weeks, giving in to his little game. besides, no one else will text you back this late at night, “i don’t know, do i?” 
he grins, “i think so.” emboldened, he glides his hand underneath your blanket, before he presses his hand against your thigh. he waits a second to see if you’ll stop him, but you don’t.
his hand trails up until it’s dipping past the waistband of your shorts. he smirks when he feels the wet patch on your undies, “and here i thought you didn’t like me.” 
your breath hitches slightly, “what do you mean? i’m always nice to you.” 
“thats debatable.” he mumbles, slipping your panties aside to ghost his fingers up and down your slit. “especially lately, you don’t even wanna look at me.”as he’s about to sink a finger in, you jolt forward, grabbing his wrist. 
“wait!” you gasp, chest heaving. he stops, just like you ask, never having seen you so flustered before. 
“waiting.” he says, doing his best to not have his mind too muddied by the heaviness in his pants. 
“i don’t want to.. um, i don’t think we should fuck.” you stumble over your words, unable to take your eyes off his hand. 
he blinks, “okay.” he won’t push it. retreating, he tries to sit back, but you don’t remove the grip on his wrist. “uh, are you gonna-“ 
“we could… do other things though.” you mumble, but you release his hand and push it away anyway. “actually, nevermind.” 
he grins, finally getting it. “so you want me to finger you, is that it?” 
“do you have to put it that way?” you groan, laying back and covering your face with your hands. 
“finger fucking?” he jokes, but he’s slinking back forward, his hand traveling back to it’s rightful spot. 
you groan again, but not without spreading your legs for him and he smiles. 
“not gonna talk to me?” he continues, one thumb slowly stroking your cunt through the fabric of your panties. 
“do you want me to change my mind?” you answer, muffled by the sleeves of your hoodie. 
“please don’t,” he laughs, before tugging at your clothing. “can i?” 
you nod again and he’s quick to pull them off. it’s his turn to lose his breath, lost in how pretty your folds glisten for him. 
change of plans, he thinks as he levels himself down onto the bed. 
“oliver?” you call, peeking through your fingers again. 
“as long as we don’t fuck right?” he asks, licking his lips and you can read the anticipation clear on his face. but he’ll wait for you to say yes, like a dog on a leash.
you nod again, the both of your hearts hammering as you do and he dives in. he starts slow to savor it, his tongue moving with long languid strokes between your folds. 
he knew you’d taste good, but not this good. even better are the noises you make, well the ones you’re trying to hide. he glances up at you, your face contorted as you bite down on the sleeve of your jacket. a heavy blush creeps onto his face, you’re so pretty. 
you arch your back as he slides his tongue over your clit, bringing his fingers up to prod at your opening. he continues to work his tongue over your already swollen clit, suckling out mewls from your lips. when he sinks his fingers in, your jaw drops as you gasp out a “fuck!” 
covering your mouth again, you whimper as he picks up the pace. he wants to hear that pretty voice again, so he curls his digits up inside your gummy walls and to his delight, you sob out again. 
by now he’s realizing he actually has shit self control. pushing your clothing up, he pulls off your already swollen clit, readjusting himself as he starts to leave sloppy kisses up the expanse of your belly. 
“i wanna hear you, i wanna see you,” he mumbles, latching onto your neck and sucking in a mark. “besides, sendou’s asleep.” he actually has no clue if his best friend’s asleep, he’s just so high on you that he doesn’t care. 
“take me to your room then,” you whimper, conceding, breathless and squirming. he smiles against the crook of your neck before removing his fingers from your cunt. he picks you up fast, scooping you up as you tremble in his embrace. 
he practically sprints to his room, slamming the door shut before throwing you into his bed. you scramble to take the rest of your clothes off. he wanted to see, remember? 
you tug on his shirt, it’s only fair if you take your clothes off that he does too. “hey… take this off.” 
“i thought we weren’t fucking?” he laughs, but you raise a brow. 
“do we need to fuck if we’re naked?” you scoff, but in reality, you feel a bit too exposed. 
he grins, shrugging, “nah.” then he’s quick to take off his own before pushing you down. “let me finish eating, yeah?” 
you settle back, sighing out a breathless, “yeah.” 
with your legs spread so nicely, it’s easy for him to get back to work. he spreads your eager folds with his thumbs, admiring your pretty pussy before spitting down a lob of saliva. you jolt at the feeling, but he uses an arm to keep you still. he has work to do. his tongue begins lapping back at your folds before diving into your cunt, slurping at the arousal leaking onto his sheets. 
oliver’s not typically a giver, maybe having only given a couple times in all of hookups. but this was different, he could probably eat you out for hours if you could stay a twitching, mewling mess underneath. perhaps he was starving, growling as he pulls you in even closer and you find your hands in his hair. 
as his name leaves your lips like a chant, he continues to tongue fuck you, your slick trailing down his chin. your core burns as you grind onto him, chasing after your release, his stubble lightly scratching across your skin. 
he switches, latching back onto your clit with nimble fingers working their way inside you. “cum for me, baby.” he murmurs, curling his fingers up again just how you like it. “you’re so fucking good for me, you know that?” 
“s-shut up,” you sob, but the praise hits in all the right places as you arch your back. another indication that you like it is the harsher pull on his strands, a string of obscenities leaving your mouth.
“aw, i’m just tryna make you feel good,” he muses as he hears your first frustrated noise from pulling away. “close huh?” 
“oliver, please.” you whimper, brow furrowed as you gaze down at him. you’re so close, but just his fingers scissoring you isn’t enough. 
he tilts his head, “please what?” he asks, and you wonder when he got so fucking bold. “use your words.” maybe it’s the blood rushing straight to his head that’s got him out of sorts, but for the first time he’s got you where he wants you. he may be the one caged between your thighs, but you're the one that’s stuck in his web, begging for release. 
his fingers continuously moving in and out of you makes your eyelids flutter, especially when he picks up the pace. “i wanna cum, please,” you beg, “please, please, please.” 
he laughs out an “that wasn’t so hard right?”, before he’s back onto your bundle of nerves. he seeks out the friction of the bed for his own pleasure, his cock hard and heavy as he grinds out against the sheets.
right now though, the focus is on you. the focus is the way your thighs clench closer together, boxing him in, letting him know when what he does is good. it’s the way you greedily grind up into his face, tumbling his name off your lips like it’s the only thing you know how to say. 
you finally burst when oliver murmurs, “so fucking good for me,” his breath hot on your clit. he finger fucks you through your orgasm, continuously praising you, “good job, beautiful, that’s it.”
you pant, pushing at his hand when you’ve started to get overstimulated. he slips out, but pushes you back when you start to reach for his cock. you watch with doe eyes as he smears your slick across his cock, stroking himself. 
“keep your legs open.” he says, eyes lidded. “i won’t fuck you, don’t worry.” he reassures when he sees your eyes widen more. 
you comply, still slightly twitching from your orgasm, when he settles himself between your folds again. he’s not far off, not when he’s been drunk off the sound and taste of you. but the wetness between your folds has his head spinning. he slips so easily between them, he wishes he could just slide into you, but he’s good at keeping his promises.
he uses one hand to keep his cockhead pressed firmly against you. you think it’s messy, his hand covered in arousal, precum, and saliva but you’re both a little mesmerized by the scene. the two of you make eye contact and he breathes out, “you’re so beautiful.” 
“stop complimenting me,” you pout, before you’re pulling him down to rest his forehead against yours. “or else i’ll kill you.” 
“i thought you were gonna say you’d fall in love with me,” he muses, lips barely ghosting over yours as he continues to rut in between your folds. 
“in your dreams, oliver.” you murmur, but you tilt up and kiss him anyway. you taste yourself on him but can’t seem to care, as his tongue slips in to intertwine with yours. 
that’s enough to set him off, shuddering as he comes undone on your belly. white hot ropes paint your skin and you pull away, lips swollen. you fall back on the bed, the only sound the two of you panting. 
oliver lays down next to you, staring at the ceiling. he brings his hand up, staring at his sticky fingers covered in fluid. 
“gross,” you cringe and he peeks over at you. “clean me up?” 
“sure.” he’s quick to get up, grabbing a box of tissues by his bed. 
“all men are the same.” you groan, but there’s a smile dancing on your face. 
“yeah, this is the brand sendou and i prefer.” he jokes and you smack him playfully. he uses the tissues to clean his hand first before moving onto you, scooping up the remnants of what just happened. he pauses when he moves lower, looking at you. 
are we… anything? he wants to ask, but he bites his tongue when he notices you staring back. he cleans up the rest, before asking, “so, what now?” 
“i’m gonna shower, that’s what.” you say, pushing yourself up and grabbing your clothes. you don’t put them on, there’s no point since both the guys in this dorm have seen all of you. 
as you turn the knob to leave, he asks, “can i join you?”
you scoff, shooting him a look. “absolutely not.” 
he figured you’d say that. 
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it’s only 8pm on a saturday when sendou’s phone blows up. 
“sorry,” he says, reading the letters of your name across the screen. “i gotta take this.” 
it’s a rare night in, oliver’s own phone buzzing with “where are you?” texts from his friends. he hasn’t been able to stop thinking about you, the way you squirmed and moaned for him was enough to set him over. falling further into the sticky web of your hold. 
when sendou walks back in, the expression on his face is mixed with concern and confusion. 
“something happen?” oliver asks, pausing the movie. 
“uhh.. yeah i think so.” sendou answers, scratching the back of his neck. “i think y/n’s coming over.” 
there’s confusion washed over the brunette’s features. he’s not sure why this visit is so concerning, you’ve changed your mind before. saying no to movie night yet coming over unannounced anyway. 
sendou sighs, “don’t freak out when she gets here.” he’s not an idiot. he’s seen basically every spare glance that oliver’s thrown your way, the schedule modifications to come home more often to see you, the way his smile lingers on you when you do almost anything. he sees the way oliver deflates when you’re with someone else, it’s quick when it happens, almost uncatchable. 
“and why would i do that?” he’s joking, but the knot in his stomach is turning. what is it? you’re coming over to tell them all about your great fuckin’ date with rensuke? even after almost sleeping together, you still ran right back to kunigami when he called for you. 
sendou rolls his eyes, before repeating himself, “seriously. don’t.” 
oliver throws his arms up in surrender, “okay, okay.” 
when do you barge in you’re in the same hoodie you wore the night you came undone under oliver’s mouth. the nervous smile on his face falls when he hears you sniffling. when the two of you make eye contact, your puffy red-lines eyes looking into his, he feels something break. 
you blink, and then you blink again, as you try to fight back the tears that eagerly wish to spill. instinctively, you tug at the sleeves of your sweater trying to self-soothe yourself. you try to speak multiple times, only to stop and let out little huffs of air. it hurts too much. 
sendou speaks first, gently rubbing your back as he guides you over to the couch. “hey… take some deep breaths.” you shake your head, balling your hands into fists as you continue to cry. 
“want me to leave?” oliver asks, as much as he doesn’t want to, he knows you’re more comfortable when he’s not around. to both his and sendou’s surprise, you shake your head again, reaching out to him with trembling hands. 
he sits closer and you lean down to lay in his lap, “l-let me cry here.” you mumble, grabbing his hand and placing it on the top of your head. “rub my head.” 
oliver can’t help but laugh a little bit, “sure.” he nods over to sendou, whose eyes could possibly launch from their sockets. “hey, you heard her, rub her back.” 
“pretty sure she said ‘head’” he retorts, but starts doing it anyway. while sendou’s eyes wander the room, sometimes glancing at the remote wondering if he should start the movie back up; oliver’s are glued on you. 
he cards through your hair, eyes soft on your hiccuping form. he thinks you feel like his girlfriend, maybe if someone else saw, you’d look like it too. maybe he’ll ask sendou later. it’s a few more moments of your sniffling before you finally speak. 
“do you guys think i’m stupid?” you ask, reaching out for the remote and turning whatever movie they had playing on. 
“sometimes, yeah,” sendou answers and both you and oliver are quick to smack him. “ow! i thought you wanted the truth? and why the hell are you hitting me?!” he exclaims, one finger pointed towards the brunette. 
oliver shrugs, “because you said something stupid?” 
“i agree,” you sniffle, but there’s the smallest hint of a smile on your face. “you’re supposed to lie, idiot.” 
“if i lie will you tell us what happened?” he asks, leaning back against the armrest. 
“don’t even have to lie, i’ll just tell you.” you sigh, lowering the volume down on the tv. you start to tap on oliver’s knee since you’re nervous, but he continues to play with your hair. 
“so you know how rensuke and i were… thinking of being something?” you start. you feel oliver’s hand pause when you say that, but he starts back up again. “anyway, he called it off today. he gave me an ultimatum that i didn’t wanna take.” 
“which was?” sen asks, brow raised. 
“i couldn’t see you two anymore.” you answer, “like i wouldn’t choose my best friends?” 
“since when is oliver your best friend?” sendou asks, perplexed. 
since she came on my face in my bedroom, he muses, but you answer with a “since i decided.” 
“are you guys doing shit behind my back?” the redhead asks and the two of you look at each other. 
“no,” you say, face heating up as you stare into pretty dual tone eyes, “we don’t do anything.” 
not only is the blush on his face clearly visible, but so is the smirk. “not a thing,” he agrees. “if anything, we just… chill.” 
you mouth out an “oliver!” but he shrugs, before using his thumb to wipe at the remnants of tears on your cheek. if you weren’t trying to hide from the current accusations, you’d probably just keen up into his touch. 
“i don’t wanna know.” sendou groans, breaking the two of you out of trance. he gets up, turning the tv off and flickering his gaze towards you. “sleeping in my room tonight?” 
you swallow, before nodding again, finally tearing your gaze away from oliver. “yeah, i’ll be there in a sec.” 
you sit up as sendou leaves, the click of his door indicating when the two of you are alone. you feel vulnerable. you pull your knees up, hugging them, before you start to talk. 
“i really liked him, y’know?” you mumble, “but i never really got the same vibe back.” 
oliver’s silent, arms crossed and head thrown back as he stares up at the ceiling. he doesn’t particularly care to hear just how much you liked rensuke, but he’s not about to leave now. 
you continue, “i think he wanted someone to blow off steam with, which isn’t bad, but… i wanted him to actually like me. like-like me, not just to be thrown away later on. i thought he could be my first real boyfriend.” 
“why are you telling me this?” he asks, trying to keep his tone neutral. “wouldn’t you rather tell sen?” 
you shake your head, looking back at him slightly. “no, i like talking to you more. about this stuff anyway, you seem to actually listen to me. sen’s not bad, but i dunno, he doesn’t really give me sound advice.” 
“what’d he tell you to do last time?” he asks, semi-agreeing already that sendou really isn’t the best advice giver.
“sleep with karasu.” you deadpan, inwardly cringing at how awkward that interaction was. 
“and did you?” he asks, voice a little ptiched. 
“no! everyone thinks so, but no.” you failed, thankfully, unable to actually go through with it. but you made a friend with tabito, one that listens to your ramblings when you visit. 
oliver sits up a little and you snap your head back forward, embarrassment eating at you. “did you two… do anything?” he’s started to realize something. 
you shake your head again, hoping he doesn’t notice how feeble you feel. but he can’t notice that because he feels like he’s on cloud nine. “have you slept with anyone?” he asks, heart pounding. 
what comes up must always come down and to his dismay, you nod, mumbling out a name that leaves him slaw jacked. “sendou. like, twice…. why am i sharing this information with you?”
“seriously? sendou?” he’s not sure whether this means that his friendship has ended, but it does maybe make some sense that you’re so comfortable around him. beyond best friends, anyway. 
you spin around, “listen! it was when we had just graduated high school. we’d never slept with anyone before .. so, seriously, why am i telling you this?!” 
he won’t lie, the panicked look on your face is cute, so much so that he’s a little less pissed off. “okay, okay. i get it,” he says, placing a hand on your shoulder. “you don’t have to tell me anything else.” 
sometimes, you don’t understand how oliver can be so sweet, but you sure are grateful for it. you smile at him and his heart melts a little. it’s so much better when you aren’t crying. 
he pats your head before getting up. 
“oliver?” you call, but he smiles at you and it’s your turn to feel your heart flutter. 
“you should get some sleep,” he says, “it’s late. you want water before you go though?” padding over to the kitchen to fix you a glass of water. 
you nod, “mhm.” before getting up yourself and following after him. he hands you the glass and he thinks it’s strange. the first time you stood in this kitchen, you didn’t even look his way. but now, you look at him clearly. sure, it’s not the ideal situation and you are leaving to go sleep in another guy’s bed, but it’s enough. 
one step closer to you is worth it. it shouldn’t be long now, he thinks, you’ll be his in due time. but he doesn’t notice the confusion on your face when you grab the glass. the moment your fingers touch you feel it too, that all familiar pull, the one you were trying (and failing) to avoid. you duck away when you move towards sendou’s room, hoping he can’t hear the way your heart pounds within your chest.
it can’t be him.
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“that fucking stings!” oliver hisses, instinctively pulling away from you. 
you frown, “i don’t know why you went to me and not like, the campus nurse or a hospital.” you recenter his face, gripping his chin between your index finger and thumb. 
“why would i go there when i’ve got my guardian angel here?” he teases before wincing again as you press the cloth to his busted lip. 
“i’ve got to stop the bleeding,” you mumble, ignoring his comment. oliver thinks you look so cute when concern paints your face, he’d kiss you if you let him, despite his lip. “i still can’t believe you did that.” 
“did what?” he asks.
“get your ass beat,” you snort, removing the pressure from his lip before handing him an ice pack. “here.” 
“he made you cry, like i wasn’t gonna beat his ass?” he counters, correcting you and if he could pout, he would. 
“oliver. that was weeks ago, no one asked you to do something so stupid,” you sigh, swiveling around to look for bandages. “there was no point.”
“no one asked you to date stupid guys,” he retorts, but man does it hurt. more than his lip or his bruised cheek, the fact that no matter what you won’t look at him the same way you do others. 
“i just don’t get why you’d do something so dumb.” you say, closing the medicine cabinet while holding a box of band aids. you’re so nonchalant about it it’s infuriating. why don’t you get it? 
he blinks, before scoffing, “what am i to you?” 
“you’re… oliver.” you say, tensing, suddenly not liking the direction this conversation is going. 
“that’s it?” he almost can’t believe it, that after everything, he’s just still oliver. 
“what do you want me to say?” you sigh, voice coming out a little irritated. you’ve never done well with confrontation, especially not when it comes to feelings like this. 
he sets the ice pack down before continuing, “that i’m important to you, more than just some dude you string along for fun.” 
“what are you even talking about?” you exasperate, because really, what does he want? he knows you two aren’t anything, nothing more than friends and yet he tries so hard. so hard it makes your head spin, so hard it makes you sometimes doubt your own judgment on him. but you refuse, you’ll continue to listen to that little voice that tells you: no. not him. 
“for fucks sake, can’t you pick me just one time?!” he yells, slamming his hand on the counter and you jump back, “not karasu, not sendou, not fucking kunigami. don’t run to them. run to me. can’t it be me?” 
“y-you’re crying,” you deflect, trying to look anywhere but him because if you look at him, you’ll want to hold him. you’ll want to give him, tell him that maybe you two could try to be something. you don’t even argue that kunigami isn’t an option anymore. 
“i don’t fucking care.” 
“and i don’t know what to say.” you answer, eyes glued on the box in your hands. 
“just say the word and i’ll be yours. fully and wholly, i’ll give you everything.” he says firmly. 
but you stay quiet, awkwardly fidgeting with the box in your hands. 
“…please?” it comes out soft, whispery, and most of all desperate. a plea that comes from deep within because at the end of it all, he loves you. 
but there’s nothing from you, it’s radio silence. it’s the quietness after midnight on a tuesday when the rest of campus is deep asleep. it’s nothing. and for a brief moment, he’ll accept it, because it’s harder for him to sit in this continued rejection. he’ll accept that right now, you don’t want him. 
he gets up, pushing past you not even bothering to wipe the tears that trail down his cheeks. and he thinks, maybe even a small bit of him prays, that you’ll stop him. 
but you don’t, staring at the tiled floor as he leaves, and oliver feels his heart shatter into tiny glass pieces. should he still hold onto “maybe”? maybe someday you’ll want him too? maybe someday you’ll be his exclusively? or should he give up, call it a day, and speed dial one of the girls in his phone?
he doesn’t know.
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ifangirlalot · 1 year
Note
I'm back in my miles Fairchild supermency (idk if I spelled that wrong) Anyways can I request a miles Fairchild x reader smut whatever you want to do with it
˗ˏˋ 𝐋𝐄𝐒𝐒𝐎𝐍 𝐎𝐍𝐄 ˎˊ˗ | starring miles fairchild
︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵
*~smut!*~ [𝖜𝖆𝖗𝖓𝖎𝖓𝖌𝖘:] oral (male receiving), hand play (male receiving), kinky thoughts (miles' pov)
︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵
[Name]'s POV
While Miles and I have been together for a while now, we've yet to do anything super serious. We've gotten about as close to fucking as you can get without actually getting undressed, though. See, the thing is, I'm a little intimidated by the idea of sex. I haven't ever done it before, but Miles told me that he's done it a handful of times. (He's never specified what "a handful of times" translates to with a concrete number, but taking a look at him tells me everything I need to know, really.) And while I'm not exactly thrilled about it, I can't really say I'm surprised.
The thing is, I wouldn't know how to please him. Not just with the main course, so to speak, but also in the way of appetizers. Reading smut isn't what I'd call a reliable teaching method. That's more or less just something to read when you're horny. So, I guess that's why I'm here now. In Miles' bedroom sitting in front of him, seeing him lean against the wall (because his bed is literally just a goddamn mattress for some fuckin' reason) and tastefully unhook the front button of his jeans and pulling down his fly, like he does this everyday.
Lessons start now.
Miles' POV
I don't outwardly express it, but the way [Name] is staring at my dick like it's some sort of predator she has to conquer is rather amusing to me. My pride is telling me it's because my dick is huge, but I think more likely than not it's just because she's never actually seen one up close before. I'll probably die telling myself the first one, though.
While seeing her nervous, almost terrifed face is fucking hilarious, it's not really getting me riled up. So, while she's having her quiet nervous breakdown, I let my eyes flicker to the opening in her shirt and thinking about pressing my palm against her tits. Maybe giving them a nice, hard squeeze, getting her to cry out if I'm lucky. That does the trick and pretty soon I'm at full mast and ready to get started with teaching her.
Oh what a fun little lesson this will prove to be for me.
After some quick debate, I decide maybe hand shit is where I should start. Save the best for last. "[Name], give me your hand." I urge, not waiting for her to comply and just picking it up myself. I pull it closer to my lap and wrap her tiny fingers around my shaft.
Immediately, she grips it and I have to surpress the urge to scream. Not in pleasure, but in pain. This shit fucking hurts.
"Ow- Hey, hey- Loosen it, loosen it.. that's it.. good girl.." I sigh in relief when she complies but keeps her hand in a loose circle around me. "Okay, we're gonna try jerking me off, alright?" I tell her when the breath finally reenters my system. Could have sworn my life just flashed before my eyes from that experience.
"Oh, that's easy. I read about that, I can do it!" [Name] exclaims, almost excited to try out her knowledge from books. I'm immediately cautious. From that first moment, I'm kinda scared she's gonna break my dick off. Don't think that would be good. I kinda need that.
Turns out I was right to be cautious. One second everything's fine, the next, I've died, and my dick feels like I'm fucking a succulent vacuum. And not in a good way. "Ouch-! Fuck- [Name]-! When I said 'Jerk it off' I didn't mean jerk it off my body!" This is not going at all like how I envisioned it in my head. Like at all. This lesson is so unsexy my boner keeps leaving. I have to keep giving it a couple pip-paps just to keep it up. Which in turn is making [Name] feel bad, which is also making my boner go down. Ugh, this is a nightmare.
Finally I sigh and gently move her hand. "Okay, darling. That's not working. So, instead you're going to use your mouth." When she starts moving down, I stop her by touching her shoulder. "Now before you go down and inevitably bite my cock off, listen carefully. Don't use your teeth, make sure they're just barely grazing me. And wrap one hand around the base and hold it steady. Move it in the opposite direction of your mouth so that it meets in the middle, got it?" She nods and moves down again. I hold my breath and lean back against the wall, eyes closed, half expecting to feel a sharp pain as her teeth sink into my length. But that doesn't happen. Instead, my senses are being sweetly invaded by euphoria. Her tongue is wet and warm around my dick, and her teeth are barely even noticeable. Her hand is moving the perfect speed to contrast her mouth and it feels like heaven. A wet, warm heaven. "Oh- fuuuuck-"
The sounds coming from me are foreign to me. But she's pulling them out of me faster than I can stop them. Normally I'd be embarrassed, but right now I don't have enough time to register anything that isn't pleasure. "Fuck, fuck, don't you stop-"
And then suddenly, she's doing shit that I didn't tell her about. Her mouth pulls off my cock with a soft pop and her tongue laps around me, licking, grazing, making me twitch and buck my hips. When her tongue presses against my bright red tip, my eyes roll back in their sockets and a loud groan resonates around the room. Whatever books she's been fucking reading are definitely my favorites now. Don't know who wrote them or what they're called, but goddamn do I love those books. Then, all too soon, I'm coming and it's over. It has been about two minutes. Fuck, I feel so pissed with myself. Two minutes? Fucking seriously, Miles?
I watch her, my cheeks flaming red, while she takes her time lapping up my mess like a dog under the dinner table. "So," she asks casually, licking her fingers. "When's lesson two?"
[A Note From Zee]
I'm genuinely so sorry this took so damn long- I got caught up in other things, but I hope it was at least passable.
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ar1mas · 2 months
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- a rant
no because ive watched this stupid show 5 years ago, and i only noticed this now?? how???
ok. some context first. this is about fox' gotham, a prequel series to batman. or at least a potential one with slight changes. one of those changes is the relationship between oswald cobblepot and edward nygma (spelled with a 'y' for mayhap legal reasons? idfk its silly). whats their relationship like in the show? well...
theyre gay af. idk what to tell you.
okay so oswalds gay as fuck. edwards... ambiguous. totally ambiguous. he had a girlfriend or 2 and a half (kristen kringle, the-woman-who-shall-not-be-named (aka kristen but... blonde? this show is weird), and lee. not comfy counting lee, but technically shes one, hence the 'and a half')! very straight, much hetero (on another side note how tf is oswald the gay one, like i know he wears make-up and shit but eddies all about theatrics and showmanship and flair and hOW IS OSWALD THE GAY ONE NEXT TO HIM?? ok anyway).
so oswald was (is. be real.) canonically in love with ed, ed was.........., and 'penguin in love' is a piece of music composed by david russo for season three in which the whole "im in love with my best friend" thing took place.
that song has been used all over season three, as far as i can tell not once in season four, and once in season five.
.....or so i thought.
because yesterday, while in another obsession phase (of which i get one a few times a year. ive only ever watched the show once, in 2019, when it ended. still dream about nygmobblepot though. i dont dream about media, like ever, but with them, its different), i saw 5x8 to satiate my never satisfied craving of nygmob scenes, obviously skipping the main story bc i dont care about that straight shit. i got to the scene where oswald kills mr. scarface and frees arthur penn from said mr. scarface, after which ed shoots him in the head because thats what one does in such a situation, thought "aw how cute", again, as one does, and then realised.
what was that background music just now? rewinds.... oh. oh haha, its 'penguin in love'. how fun.
WHAT.
WHY IS THAT IN THERE. WHY DID THEY INCLUDE IT.
correction. it wouldve made sense to have it here. they used it in 5x5 for the speech about not backstabbing each other (wedding vows for murderers fr fr), so using it again after their relationship has solidified wouldve made sense.
note how im saying 'would have'.
because it would have made sense, if they used it when ed said "i accept you for the person that you are, just as you accept me for the cold logician that i am. thats why this friendship is great." they didnt, though. they used another equally heartfelt song for that. dunno what its called, it sounds a bit like 'penguin in love' but isnt, not sure if that one has a specific meaning like 'penguin in love' does.
so when was the song used? at 36:08 – 36:17. barely ten seconds, right before eds lines, right before ed kills penn.
...right when penn was sitting in oswalds lap because theyd been fighting for the gun and os fell on the ground.
now. the most obvious answer to "why in the fucking hell" would be because ooh this dudes on his lap so sexy, but no. no. 'penguin in love' is about one specific thing: love. the pure kind. the kind that makes you giddy with butterflies in your stomach, kicking your legs, while youre on your bed, writing in your diary about this guy you have a crush on. and oswald and penn do have history, oswald was more or less fond of penn, but not in love (i mean where would he have found the room in his heart if it was already filled with EDWARD EDWARD EDWARD martin my sweet boy EDWARD EDWARD EDWA-). im also definitely not thinking that penn was so happy about being free from mr. scarfaces influence and not having to kill oswald (oh yeah, the horror. who would wanna kill oswald, the guy with the big ego, who never does anything for anyone without some kind of endgoal- well, unless your name is edward of course) that he instantly fell in love with the guy. i can deal with the homicidal kind of crazy, but that? no. thats where i draw the line.
the next most obvious answer is that it was about oswalds love for ed. more believable, since its what the song was made for, but more believable doesnt mean believable. or likely. because even if i 100% believe that hes been loving this dude for so long its not something he has to think about anymore for it to be true, im pretty sure that itd be very random to suddenly focus on that when oswald was just about to die. so no, even if its what the song is intrinsically about.
so next most obvious answer is- wait. thats it. huh? theres no obvious answer anymore? everything else is brainrot? oh. oh well. its been five years, im sure its too late to worry about it now. what the hell.
im sure you know where im going with this. or maybe not. honestly idk what the fuck im talking about-
youre smart. you know what im about to say. if it wasnt about what oswald was feeling because he was otherwise preoccupied, and it wasnt about penn because that makes no fucking sense, then who was this song used for? who else was in the room?
...oh.
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YOU.
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YOU FUCKING IMBECILE. YOU STUPID DENSE PIECE OF-
inhale, exhale. no. don’ get mad, you know he cant help it. you know hes totally helpless when it comes to emotions. just breathe. ok.
i hate him. i hate him so much.
if the song wasnt for oswalds sake, it was for his. because i know hes in love with oswald, but does ed? does the producers??
'penguin in love' is about oswalds love. its about his love for edward. its about their love, their relationship. its about edward just as much as it is about oswald.
a-fucking-PPARANTLY, I DIDNT KNOW THAT!! I JUST THOUGHT OH YEAH OZZY BE THE GAY ONE HAHA FUNNY, I DIDNT KNOW IT COULD BE ABOUT ED DIRECTLY!!!
(why am i like this? what is my life? i will never be normal.)
ed has always been the obsessive one. first kristen (and the woman who shall not be named is just an extention of that ofc), then oswald, then lee. and as weve seen with kristen, when hes obsessed with someone, he can become possessive. absolutely not on the scale oswald is on, but still. theres a wee bit of jelly there. oh you have a boyfriend? better get rid of him! oh you wanna run away from me bc i murdered your boyfriend? better keep you right in place and- oh shit did i kill you? ono D:
this is a huge oversimplification, but you get the point. its there. or at least it has to be there because why else do you get so angy that someone is sitting in the lap of your just friend because they were fighting and they ended up in that position totally accidentally? like thats not normal behaviour, for anyone, unless you have possessive tendencies.
i mean its not like penn was a threat in any way. "he wasnt the threat, the dummy was the-" like i understand ed told penn about the submarine which was supposed to be a secret, but come on, like they couldnt make sure penn wouldnt say anything. so why would ed shoot him? its not even like penn was a random dude where that type of thing would be very inconsequential, oswald knew him. hed worked for oswald, and like i said, oswald was more or less fond of the guy. penns just a poor little meow meow, y u kil him eddie? 🥺
unless this fondness was part of the problem. unless ed saw how happy oswald was to see him, got annoyed but let it slide, then used penn attacking os and knowing about the sub as an excuse to kill him. and why would oswald being happy to see penn be a problem to ed? it wouldnt be. it wouldnt be, unless ed thinks oswald is his.
which makes sense. i know im calling him names and calling him out, but like. oswald told him he loved him like 5 times 2 years prior, i dont blame him for believing that maybe theres something to it (especially since that was the point of 3x14, oswald really being in love with him and surprising himself with it). but i thought ed didnt feel the same way? because hes very hetero? because he had a full-on girlfriend before, twice, technically? because-
"the truth is oswald, you would sacrifice anyone to save your own neck. even me."
"like i said! you will always fail, because youll never change."
hm. i know this is a bit off topic, but i just got a war-flashback and... why did ed sound so hurt when he said that? "youll never change." "you would sacrifice anyone. even me." why does he care? they were friends, best friends, yes, but why does he sound like a heartbroken wife who just found out her husband cheated on her again? why does-
"honestly you deserve this. you are opportunistic, your loyalty is.. shaking, at best, and you will hurt anyone, anyone, to get what you want."
"and yes, i was not a good friend. to you or anyone. its why im alone. but i saw you for what you are and i valued that!"
...why would edward nygma, the man who literally said "i dont love you" to oswald, be jealous of even the idea that maybe penn could have something going on with oswald? and why would he act on it if hes usually so careful to not reveal his feelings (unless its about kristen. the original obsession, the american dream, the just be normal, show them you are normal, and people will accept you)? he wouldnt.
unless oswald just told him that he knows he messed up. that hes sorry for it.
and unless that made him think that maybe theres a chance.
"love is about sacrifice. its about putting someone elses needs and happiness before your own."
"you gave up your revenge for me?"
a chance... for what?
"life begins anew."
"shall we get to work?"
and if theres a chance, hes not about to risk losing it. not this time.
so maybe 'penguin in love' is about more than just oswalds feelings. maybe they were trying to tell us that, yes, we see you traumatised gay kid, were sorry this is all we can give you, but here you go, eds in love with him too, but don’t tell the channel. subtlely. just for barely ten seconds. and maybe it can be enough.
nope, it wont be. im gonna sit here crying about the injustice of not having them kiss on screen in the finale as was originally intended for the rest of my life. seriously though, what is this, nbc's hannibal, where im noticing something new details every single time i watch the show, causing me to spiral? no, i was already spiralling. the spiralling was the reason i rewatched the scene. the scene simply made it worse.
so yeah, im done freaking out about a mediocre show that was cancelled 5 years ago and is honestly not worth anyones time (like, its ok. it might even be better than i remember since its been so long. i doubt it. but its ok).
tl;dr: ive only now realised that a specific gay song plays in a specific episode of a show i watched 5 years ago and the only reason theyd include it in the episode is if the dude that was not canonically in love with the other dude was in fact gay, they just werent allowed to make it canon, so they added the gay song to subtlely tell us about it.
have a wonderful day, hellsite. dont do what i did and go crazy about fictional gay people. i know you will though, that’s why im here too. i hate gay people. these two make me homophobic so bad, i wanna gauge my eyes out and skin myself-
69 notes · View notes
the-fiction-witch · 10 months
Text
Hopelessly
Tumblr media
Media The Artful Dodger
Character Jack Dawkins
Couple Jack X Reader
Rating SMUT
Requested :
Yess ty fiction which, I also have an idea so idk if u watched the show yet (u probably did) but the main girl lady belle, can u make it were y/n likes Jack and he likes us but y/n gets jealous and upset bc she thinks Jack likes lady belle and not us. It’s just a thought
I scampered my feet up the stairs of the hospital, My feet ached, my legs sore, and my lungs short of breath from the fact since first light I hadn't so much as sat down for more than a few seconds. But I was fueled by the power to lift four carriages and run from Port Victoria to Brisbane. I opened the door to the surgery theatre prep room where the tools, ties and other such items were laid out for the various surgeries. 
And there He stood.
Fixing up his sleeves as he was selecting between what blades he was to use today for the amputation. His dark brown shoes were caked with dusty dry dush dirt, and his brown trousers were patterned with a slightly darker brown plaid almost unnoticeable, his shirt typically white but dark around the sleeves from the constant blood it soaked in, his dark blue waistcoat done up tightly and the green tie around his neck in a double knot, His hair freshly fluffy in its usual style leaving me to assume he likely had a bath today, or yesterday night soon enough for his hair to still be that fluffiness. 
"The Medicine Doctor Dawkins," I smiled doing my best not to turn the colour of a bright poppy flower, my heart skipped a beat seeing him, my breath hitching, every ache or concern from the day work melted into the least of my concerns each one of them worth it for the mere sight of him. 
I had worked at the hospital as long as I could remember having taken over the role from my mother, I was technically a laundry and kitchen girl by definition but my role had changed since Doctor Dawkins arrived, we found quickly we had a mindset that worked similarly so often if he needed anything I'd be the one he would summon about it, and at this point I had all but become his scullery girl as well as all my other jobs around the hospital, but I didn't mind at all. Every moment with him was worth ten times the work I put in.
I was utterly, unequivocally, Hopelessly devoted to him. 
"Ahh." He perked up looking over to me a smile growing across his lips "There you are. I was wondering where my little nursey got herself off to." He chuckled cleaning his hands off, I blushed at his use of that name, his 'little nursey'. I wasn't a nurse of course but he had called me that as long as I remember but I didn't mind, I couldn't bear to stop him as my heart would flutter whenever I heard it. 
"Fetching the medicine, as you requested" I smiled taking it over to him 
"Thank you very much." He said taking the glass bottle from my hand his fingertips gracing my own as he did, taking the bottle and staring at diluting a dose for the patient, I merely stood beside him taking in the curves and valleys of his face, noticing my theory correct he must have had a bath this morning as I could smell his usually pine and eucalyptus soap as well as his familiar aftershave that I could only describe as addicting and heavenly. He glanced at me from his work his eyes flicking to me a moment "You have somewhere to be?"
"Ohh no, not really." I lied, I had a million jobs I could be rushing off to get on with but I wanted every single second I could get in this room alone with him,  
"Good. You can keep me company then." he smiled 
"You don't mind? I'll go if I'm any trouble." 
"No, you're no trouble nursey" He smiled "Could you fetch my apron for me?"
"Of course" I nodded rushing across the prep room to fetch it for him returning within a few small seconds 
"It's not a race you know. Take your time slow down" He chuckled slipping it on and quickly tieing it the way he liked it
"I just don't want to keep you waiting," I blushed 
"You are such a sweet little thing. Why can't all the nurses be like you." He said as his patient was brought into the theatre the crowd let into the stands to watch too "I'll see you later Nursey," he smiled taking my hand in his and giving my knuckles a sweet polite kiss before he headed out to the applause of the crowd. My body was utterly frozen as he had left me my heart beating out of my chest. My god I am a sinful girl. Unable to prevent my eyes from lingering. 
I stood in the prep room almost unable to move watching through the window as he worked, he moved almost in slow motion to me his every move being carefully chiselled on my mind, the sweetest sound playing in my mind drowning out the sound of the bloodthirsty crowd. Unable to prevent my smiles and my blush, I'm sure if surgeons had fan clubs I'd be at the head of his, I knew it was wrong but I couldn't help my devotion to him, praying mightily that he would one day see my unquestionable devotion and admiration, take me in his arms and make me his bride. But so far that had only been a wish, a several-year-long wish. I knew I was down badly, but I couldn't draw myself away, so much so he could tie me to the operating table and remove my arm without any painkillers, using a rusty blade and I would still thank him immensely. he could drag me by my hair though the graveyard and still I would only give him smiles, he could take my innocence and slap me across the arse and still I would be at my knees for him. Not that he would, I hope. 
"Y/n. Laundry." The head nurse Hetti snapped in my direction as she passed the door 
"Yes, Miss." I nodded quickly scampering out and down to the laundry room stopping short as I closed the door finally being alone again holding my hand tightly and pressing a kiss to my knuckle just where he had kissed hoping perhaps to get a taste of his lips. 
I finished for the day scrubbing at my body before slipping on my little nightie and climbing into my little bed, I took my book from the table and began to read the fantastical stories leaning my head against my pillow that sat vertically on my bed as if another body rested in it, so I rested my head there reading for a good hour or so before setting my book down and blowing out the candle, I turned over and wrapped my arms around the pillow resting my head as if I was hugging a body even wrapping my leg around it nuzzling my head into the soft cotton. 
"Ummmm..." I hummed "Goodnight Jack," I whispered giving my pillow a little kiss, and I closed my eyes tight my mind dreaming of his sweet voice whispering to me 'Goodnight my little nursey' before I drifted into my dreams.
When the sun came I woke early far earlier than I needed to be, but that was fairly normal. I stirred and shuffled in my sheets feeling the tension that had built between my legs from my sweet dreams, I glanced over my shoulder to my table to see my little clock knowing I had enough time for what my body so obviously wanted, I blushed hard giving my pillow a little kiss "Good morning" I cooed in a whisper rubbing my nose against the cotton, I adjusted myself a little moving my hand down to my thigh, tugging up my cotton nightie and slipping my hand under it meeting the heat between my legs I did gently stroke my skin but I knew quickly that already wasn't necessary, my fingers finding my already aching clit and rubbing little circles "Uhhh" I gasped quietly 
"Ummm good Morning my little nursey, aww whats this? you've been dreaming about me again?" he cooed between kisses down my neck "Well, I can hardly leave my little nursey like this can I?" his hands stroking over my body touching my most intimate places fondling my breasts, slapping my ass and replacing my hand with his own rough more callus fingers 
I slipped my fingers inside me using my index and ring fingers as they were longer and thus It made it more believable in my mind that they were his, "Uhhh! Jack!" I gasped as hushed as I could in the quiet morning light 
"Umm, what a good girl, say it again. tell them who you adore." He smirked mercilessly kissing me and touching me tugging on my nipple to harden it into his hand which he then plaid with 
"Uhh! Jack! please-" I gasped my other hand clutching my breast to rub and twist my nipple to match my fantasy to my pleasurable reality 
"You are so beautiful when you're like this for me. you're making me hard. My sweet little nursey going to take care of her doctor?" he encouraged "Come on, you know you want to?"
I blushed hard moving to sit up in bed and move my thighs to either side of the pillow, my hands still working hard 
"Ohhh that's perfect, You look so beautiful on top of me y/n. go on. you know I can't resist you like this." 
I moved my hand away and tightened my grip on the pillow with my thighs moving my hips back and forth grinding against my pillow riding it as if it really was him, the cotton and stuffing of the firm pillow rubbing against my clit each time I moved my hips "UUuuhh! Jack!" I gasped clamping a hand over my mouth to keep myself quiet knowing... the real Jack slept just on the other side of the wall in his own room and bed. 
"Ohh fuck- You are so beautiful. I wanna see you cum for me." He growled 
"Uhh uhhh" I whined quietly hearing my bedsprings begin to squeak as I sped up 
"Aww, what a good girl, My good little nursey. Come on let me see that body I love so much"
even if I was alone I tugged down my nightie to my waist exposing my bare breasts as I bounced and grinded  "Uhh Please jack..." I whined feeling close, playing with my breasts and nipples to give myself more pleasure and my wave hit suddenly my legs clamping on the pillow squirt flooding down my legs and onto my sheets and nightie, the wave of pleasure flooded from my head to the tips of my fingers and toes like a wave on the beach, "Uuuughhhhh!" I moaned luckily I put my hand there quickly to keep me quiet and as I reached such a high I heard a firm double knock on my bedroom wall just inches from me and I knew why. 
I blushed hard seeing the mess I had made and I fixed my nightie kissing my pillow before I climbed off, and made sure to tug my nightie down grabbing my cardigan and slipping it over my shoulders as I left my room going only a few inches down to the other door opening it without much of a concern finding myself inside his room. The room was littered with items his bed in the corner against the wall he shared with my own room, his servant man somewhere I didn't know, but Jack Laid in his bed still knotted with the sheets his head on the pillow clearly only a few moments into this world from his dreams, his hair a fluffy bedhead, his clothes littered the floor his bare skin exposed as the sheets only covered below his stomach. It was obvious he had woken up and knocked on the wall immediately as was typical most mornings. 
I blushed doing my best not to look like I was looking but, I was. trying to burn the image of him lying in his bed into my mind, I nervously adjusted my nightie just to make sure it covered me. 
"Good Morning Doctor Dawkins." I smiled as sweetly as I could 
"Morning Nursey" He yawns stretching his arm above his head 
"What can I do for you on this fine morning?"
"Can I trouble you for crumpet?" He asked 
"Of course No problem" I smiled pulling my hair into a ponytail and heading over to the small part of his room for cooking, taking what I would need from the cupboard, and starting up the stove to prepare him his breakfast "Did you sleep alright?"
"Fine, same as usual" He answered "You sleep alright?"
"Perfectly Pleasantly" I smiled as I worked 
"You alright y/n?" he asked I turned to see him and saw him giving me a strange look 
"What?" I asked 
"Nothing. Just heard your bedsprings a bit this morning."
Immediately I blushed hard but turned to focus on cooking to hide my blush "Ohh, Yes I uhh I spilt my water in my bed this morning it was a bit of a panic cleaning it up" 
"Fair enough" He nods "That's what's on your nightie then?" He asked and just the moment he said that I felt the wet patch on my nightie from... what I had done 
"Yes!" I blushed quickly turning so he couldn't see it 
"Alright. You want a hand drying your bed then?"
"No! thank you. It's alright Dr Dawkins." I blushed as I finished with his breakfast so I turned everything off and took the plate with his crumpet over to his bed he happily took it from the plate having a small bite 
"Umm perfect." He smiled before tapping on his bed so I blushed and sat down beside his knee as he ate 
"Your bed's far softer than mine" I smiled 
"I best be careful then, I might come back one night and see you've swapped out beds over" he joked "And I don't want your bed little nursey, those springs are so bad I hear every time you turn over"
"I shall try not to then."
"You don't have to do that" He chuckled as he finished his crumpet 
"If It would be better-" I began
"You'll really do anything I ask won't you?" he laughs 
"Of course" I blushed 
He gave me a funny look for a moment "Let your hair down?"
I blushed hard enough to turn my face red but I did as he asked me to letting my hair from the ponytail 
"Hold my hand?" 
My heart was racing out of my chest that after all these years something! was to happen between us! and I happily took his hand in mine, he gave it a soft squeeze and brought it to his lips to give my hand a gentlemanly kiss before setting my hand on the bed I was almost fainting from even that tiny amount of attention "Take your dress off?" 
"I- I uhhh" I stuttered but inside my mind 'AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! YES! YES! YES!' I was nervous but I didn't want to waste time moving my hands to the straps of my nightie and tugging them down, I pushed them down to my elbows about to expose my chest when he stopped me 
"Whoa! I was kidding" He laughs sitting up to stop me 
"Ohh" I gulped now utterly red with embarrassment at the fact I was literally two seconds from flashing him! 
"You really will do anything I ask," he chuckled as he softly fixed the straps on my nightie back into place "You're such a sweet little thing" he cooed giving my cheek a kiss "Go on don't let me keep you"
"Alright if you're sure, I'll see you later."
"I'll see you later my little nursey" He smiled laying back in his bed, I smiled my mind screaming at me utterly desperate to kiss him but I forced it away getting up and going back to my own room blushing so hard I had to jump on my bed and squeal into my pillow. 
I was puzzled, I had... finished my work for the day. Often I'd be working long into the night to get my work finished as I often would be rushing off on projects Dr Dawkins would send me off on but, I hadn't seen him all day, and that ached my heart badly. So I ran up to the main part of the hospital and immediately I saw him on his rounds in the ward. 
"Ohh Good Afternoon Doctor Dawkins," I smiled playing with my fingers 
"Ahh Hello Nursey" he smiled as he did some bandage work "Everything alright?"
"I was, just curious. I haven't heard from you today. Didn't you have any jobs for me?" 
"I know. Sorry been absolutely wall to wall today," he explained 
"That's alright, I just wanted to make sure everything was alright." 
"You're sweet." He smiled taking my hand and kissing my knuckles "Everything's fine. go on little Nursey" 
"Yes doctor," I smiled squeezing his hand in the moment before it slipped from mine, I went to go trying badly to hide my blush when I perked up 
"Doctor Dawkins!" A female voice spoke up, and I knew it wasn't Hetti or one of the other nurses I turned quickly and saw that girl. I had seen her a few times in the hospital but I didn't know much about her, but immediately I became like a territorial cat. 
"Oh it's you." he said "To what honour do you bestow us with your visit today then?" 
"The conditions are utterly deplorable! Every single thing in this hospital is disgusting I insist it be cleaned."
"You insist you do?"
"I do. You Laundry girl." She snapped at me "Have every last sheet scrubbed and washed properly immediately!" she demanded 
I was a little shocked not used to having my orders barked at me much less by whomever she was. 
"Give the sheets another wash before you head to bed y/n," He told me, and for a moment I was teary that he took her side so quickly 
"Yes, doctor." I nodded heading back down to the laundry to start again. 
I scampered through the hospital as usual now with even more work than this, woman. was insisting that she had been here every day so far and each day made my heart hurt a little more as she was now spending time alone with Dr Dawkins more than once I had gone into a room and found them alone talking together and it broke my heart each time I did. He had barely called for me at all spending all his time with Belle. I hadn't seen him anywhere around the hospital looking rather concerned as to where he had gone but I stopped short as I heard her voice coming from the morgue, I stopped and lingered at the top of the stairs listening I could hear her talking about... something not sure I couldn't make it out and my body froze as I could hear him. Two talking I tried desperately to listen but I couldn't make out their words I couldn't allow my mind to wander so I headed down the stairs and arrived at the morgue and instantly I felt like bursting into tears. 
He and Belle stood over a body, the room empty other than the two and the body, a scalpel in her hand, his own on her wrist guiding her to make the incision in the skin. They saw me arrive but didn't put a space between them, 
"Yes?" she glared 
"Ohh I uhh I was just looking for you Dr Dawkins," I said sheepishly 
"Oh, I don't have any jobs for you. You can go." He said 
"I- I see. Well you know where I am if you need me" I did my best to force a smile 
"I will do," he said before the two returned to their conversation "Ahh perfect just like that. Very good Milady."
Tears flooded my eyes to hear him call her that, and Immediately without a word, I knew I had been replaced. I wasn't his nursey anymore but she was his Lady, my heart utterly shattered so much my knees went weak and my breath staggered. 
"You alright?" He asked noticing I was still here
"Yes. Sorry Doctor." I answered unable to hold back my tears as I quickly turned and ran up the stairs, I bolted through the hospital reaching the store room shutting the door leaning my back against it. 
Tears flooded down my face, my breathing staggered and desperate between silent wails of pain, unable to control my emotions as my body sunk to the floor. 
After a while I managed to stop crying I think I was so dehydrated I couldn't make any more tears, literally cried out. I left the hospital and went to the cat and bagpipes throwing away all of my money on enough drink to drown my sorrows but nothing seemed to work. So Once I was out of money I staggered back so drunk my inhibitions were utterly void, my shyness gone, and I was ripe for the wicked as anyone who wanted to, rob, murder, or take any advantage of me would find me utterly drunk off my ass unable to even walk straight. I found my way to the hospital eventually and went up to my door but I was unable to stop looking at the door next to my own tears flooding down my face In my drunken state I forced it open slamming it shut behind me to see Jack stood just getting undressed for bed his shirt in hand, his wardrobe open having stopped short given I just burst through his door. 
"Uhh Hi y/n."
"You- You.... Imbolisle!" I slurred 
"What have I done?" He asked very confused about what was happening 
"You know what you did you absolute fudgewomble!"
"Fudge womble?" He laughed 
"You! You... CUNT!"
"Are you drunk?"
 "Don't change the subject!" 
"Y/n what on earth is the matter you've been strange all week," he said taking my hand and trying to bring me closer but I pulled my hand out of his 
"No! I'm not falling for it! No! I'm not doing this anymore! You! You utter monster! you carved open my heart! and left me to bleed! You keep me hanging on your little hand kisses and tiny touches for years! and no matter what I do, how hard I try you give me just enough to keep me hanging, enough to keep me your hopelessly devoted little slave girl!! and then here comes little miss fancy skirt and I'm as worthless as the shit on your shoes!"
"WHoa- whoa- okay." He said trying to calm me down "What's this about?"
"You know what it's about you cruel man!" I cried 
"Y/n Please I swear I don't know what you're talking about, please just sit down and calm down a little" He said gently guiding me to sit on his bed "Now just answer my questions okay, without insulting me if you can" He said holding my hands as he sat in the chair across from the bed "Are you drunk?"
"Yes."
"Why did you get drunk?"
"I thought it would make me stop crying," I said tears slipping down
"Why are you crying?" he asked caressing my cheek and wiping away my tear 
"Because I'm upset!"
"Alright, your upset." He nods "Please, tell me, Hey my little nursey. I can't fix it if you don't tell me what's wrong."
In my drunken state, I said everything I had ever wanted to say to him tears flooding down my cheeks "I loved you."
"You what?" He asked 
"I loved you. Fully. I loved you from the moment I saw you jack, my every waking moment I think of you, you are the very last thought in my mind before I go to sleep and the first when I wake up in the morning, I have built my life around you, what time you wake up, how you like your breakfast, how fast you walk, I have spent my life pining after you, worshiping you, doing everything you have ever asked of me all in the hope that one day you may give me a glance, for even that is enough to spoil me beyond measure, I spend three hours every night catching up on work because I know I can't ever say no to you, my dreams are full of you, my pillow is named for you, and I have spent the last few years of my life with you, so utterly in love that I could never stop even if you asked it of me, I live for the moments we are alone, for the seconds of time that your hand is in mine, and my heart dwells on your kisses for hours, I even find myself kissing where you have just for a hope of a taste of you, your name is carved on my heart jack, I am and always have been hopelessly devoted to you in every possible way, and if you felt even half of what I do for you, you would not be so cruel as to hold her so close to you, to call her lovelingly when I am there. Please. I beg of you. Do not let me see it, for it rips my heart in two. and if you cared for me you would give me mercy and take me from this world rather than expect me to live in it without you." I explained through my tears "I will not stand in the way of your joy, but I cannot face seeing her where I have always desired to be" 
My words had frozen him but I saw tears well up in his eyes, he held my face and gently kissed me.
I wanted to be happy but I knew this was only meery pity. 
He pulled back his nose against my own "I have desired you to be in my arms since the first night I saw you, I have made myself utterly dependent on you, in every way, for in my heart I know I cannot fashion a life without you in it, you are everything to me, without you I am nothing but a shell of a man, you are the grace that keeps me grounded, the softness that reminds me of the sweetness of the world, you are the ray of sunshine first to peak though the storm of my life, without you, I am lost to the dark. you take care of me, you keep me right, and you make this life worth living, You are so needed that I can't go a single day without seeing you for if I do my heart feels weak and heavy. I adore you, I can't face this world without you by my side, you are... utterly incomparable to all else I have ever known."
"All but her."
"No. Please believe me." he begged "She could never fill the hole you would leave in my heart." he whispered, "I love you, hopelessly" 
"Why have you never told me?"
"I couldn't believe that a sweet thing like you, could love a monster like me."
"you're not a monster Jack."
"I am. I have treated you awfully. I swear to you she means nothing to me, I have made you long for the next life. I have broken your heart. and like choosing to step on the first fresh flower of spring, it is unforgivable." 
"But I saw you together." 
"I was teaching her. I had to show her but even still I got too close. And for that I am sorry."
"I heard you call her Milady,"
"she's the goveners daughter I have to" He giggled "It was in jest. not in love." 
"Well now I'm foolish for drinking away and coming here and-"
"I am so thankful you came here tonight." He whispered "Will you ever forgive me? for what I did."
"You're already forgiven" I smiled 
"Stay with me tonight."
"I-I can't"
"Please. I can't bear for you to go."
"I will stay Jack." I nodded unable to control my smile "For how long?"
"For forever." He whispered against my lips 
"for forever" I smiled kissing him with all the passion, all the love, all the utter hopeless devotion I had had for him since the first day I met him and he did the same not letting anything be held back the taste of salt in our kisses from our tears, "I love you jack, Hopelessly"
"I love you y/n hopelessly" He smiled "Come on we need to get some sleep, god knows the hangover you'll have tomorrow morning."
"Ohh noo" I whined
"Don't worry. I'll take care of you" He reassured kissing my head "I'll fetch your nightie" he smiled heading out and soon enough returning with my nightie from my bedroom, I smiled taking it and going to the corner to change but as I removed my dress I felt his arms around me and kisses on my shoulder 
"You shouldn't look." I said 
"I can't help it- you are even more beautiful than I had dreamed you were," he whispered 
"You had dreamed of me? without my dress?"
"Many times." He smiled wickedly "Did you dream of me? without my clothes?"
"I had."
"Come on nursey. Bedtime." He cooed going to his bed 
I finished getting changed and turned to see him in bed with a space for me I blushed but rushed over about to climb in but he stopped me 
"Water. or you will have a bad hangover."
"You know from experience?"
"I do. go on." He said 
I did as he asked drinking a nice glass of water and slowly I climbed in with him laying down with a giggle 
"What?"
"I'm used to cuddling my pillow."
"Me too. funny to think we laid cuddling our pillows with just a wall between us" he chuckled wrapping his arms around me to pull me closer so our noses were an inch from each other I giggled a little and set my hands on his chest
"We were rather foolish, spending our nights dreaming of each other"
"We were. But I don't need to dream of you in my arms any longer"
"me either." I smiled giving him a soft kiss before we both drifted away, I didn't dream I didn't need to, just the feeling of being in his arms was more of a dream than anything I could have imagined.
But I woke up alone, which for a moment shattered me believing it all to be a dream, my head aching "Ughhhh ow ow ow" I whined as I turned over 
"I know I'm coming-" His voice spoke up, I slowly opened my eyes and saw Jack standing cooking up some eggs and bacon half dressed no shirt but his pants with his suspenders left hanging 
"Ohh... Morning-" 
"Good morning." He smiled "You have a hangover?"
"Ummm humm" I nodded
"How bad?"
"Did you remove my brain last night?"
"No."
"Then I think it's bad."
"You were absolutely bloody plastered last night" 
"I was sad."
"I know, Am I to expect that often then?"
"No."
"Good," he smiled "Here we are my little nursey, best thing for a hangover" he smiled sitting the plate on the table by the bed and kissing my temple 
"I should get going..."
"Why?" he asks sitting on the bed with me 
"I figured you'd want me gone" I said sitting up even if it made my head feel like it was bleeding 
He smiled and gave my lips a sweet kiss "I thought you were staying here for forever?" 
“I take it there are gaps in the memory of last night?”
“I'm not completely sure where reality ends and my dreams begin”
“I can't blame you, I was stone-cold sober and I'm having a hard time separating my dreams from reality last night.” he chucked where do you think the line is?”
“I think I came here and insulted you then I dreamt the rest?”
“No, we were awake a while more than that”
“Ohh. So I did actually tell you -”
“You did.”
“And you told me-”
“I did.”
“Oh my-”
“It's hard because it felt so much like a dream” he smiled he stroked my cheek before he moved into a kiss our kiss was passionate and rather excited and I teared up to know all of it was real and that he loved me as much as I do. Our kiss got even more excitable as he began to push forcing me down in the bed but that sudden movement was enough to affect my hangover
“Owwwwww” I whined lying on the pillow
“Oh, right. Sorry” he chuckled “you're not working today, keep yourself here with me and get some rest”
“What about you? You need to work?”
“Sneed can handle it for one day” he smiled “Just till you're feeling better. I can't leave my little nursey all alone”
“Thank you, Jack”
“You're welcome” he smiled “and… you're really cute when you're jealous”
“I am?”
“Utterly adorable” he cooed “Now eat. Drink. And rest,” he says
“I will I promise”
“Good girl” he smiled moving clean against the wall and having his legs over mine I smiled moving so I could see him and he held my hand “I get why I hear your bedsprings all the time. You little one are a wiggler” he laughed “I tried to hold you close all night but you just kept wiggling away from me”
“Sorry”
“It's fine, I'll get used to you” he chuckled “Can I tell you a secret?”
“I'd like that”
“... There is a reason I'm always late, days you come do my breakfast.”
“Oh? Why?”
“I'm always late because I can't resist seeing you in your nightie.”
“Why does that make you late?’ I asked he smirked and simply glanced down to his trousers suggestively “oohhh-”
“Yeah. Especially the other day when you almost took your nightie off for me?”
“I did notice you were very late that day”
“What did you think I was doing?”
“I didn't question it.” I giggled at the thought of Jack lying in his bed taking care of himself because of me “Can I tell you a secret?’
“I'd like that”
“I didn't spill my drink that day”
“No?”
“No”
“So why was your nightie wet? And why was your bed squeaking so much?’
“The same reason you were late”
“Ooh- really?”
“Humm” I nodded
“So that morning before I knocked I sat listening to you?”
“Yes”
“Fuck-” he gasped “I thought I heard my name. Did you hear yours?”
“No, I was quick getting dressed’
“Shame. Maybe next time as well be in my bed together we can just, take care of each other” he smirked “Would you like that my little nursey?”
“I would very much”
“Good, you must move around a lot then because seriously your bed was boarder line constantly making noise”
“I was- I can't -”
“What no tell me.”
“I was riding my pillow”
“You what?’
‘you heard “
“Riding your pillow? As in pillow on the bed, you are on top?” He asked and I nodded “Imagining it was me?”
“Yes” I blushed hiding under the covers a little
“That's adorable” he smirked ‘and a coincidence”
“How?”
“After you left. I laid on my back imagining you riding me. Maybe our dreams are synchronizing” he smiled leaning down to give my lips a sweet kiss moving to look over me as we kissed till he pulled back a bit
“How did you do it?’
“Do what?’
“I was riding my pillow” I giggled innocently
“Oh, just my hand.” He shrugged “I always use my hand I don't have any things to ride on or use like that” he smirked moving a little so his knees were on either side of me “But if you show me, I'll be happy to show you too” he smirked kissing down my jaw and neck
“Uhhh! Jack!” I gasped as I felt his kisses grabbing his hair
“Uhhh- y/n!” He moaned back ripping the covers from my hands “ohh fuck-” he groans looking at me in my nightie
“Owww” I whined as his kisses made he throw back my head which hurt
“Well continue this later. When you feel better” he smiled giving my lips a kiss “That okay?”
“Okay Jack” I smiled giving him a. Kiss “I love you”
“I love you too” 
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grilledcheese-savage · 4 months
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Mid Vaggie Redesign (as someone who only saw the pilot but knows a general amount of lore)
Mild spoilers for hazbin hotel? Again, I haven’t seen the show I just know a little bit about it
- I really hated her second design, because it felt more like her gf than her. I wanted her to have kind of an old western design, but the colors became so ugly (sorry bout that)
- I like the idea of halos in the show representing different powers or representing the angels in some way. I thought as an Angel, it would have been cool if she had two halos as antennae since she’s loosely moth based.
- she dyed her hair after becoming a fallen Angel, I don’t really know if you can tell in my design.
- I tried to do minimal shading to mimic a tv show, but hnnnghh idk
- I don’t really see her as wearing a bow, although if her personality was slightly different, the way I’d prob write her, maybe. I kept it in this design for some to mimic her lack of halos. I think in this version she does miss being an Angel and maybe accepts it later on.
- I also was on and off about the feathery ears because I thought she was supposed to be an owl the first time I saw her design 😅
- For the hazbin fans out there, why do they call her vaggie?? Genuinely, it’s painful. If I were her I’d ask my friends to call me something different or choose a new name after I was outcasted.
(Also her Angel design has big wings, just didn’t have enough space for them)
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Speed paint: you can kinda see where I went wrong, and struggled with the colors
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Tell me if I should re-do this or try again with different colors!
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starberry-cupcake · 6 months
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I have made up from last time that was about only one chapter, this time we have 5 in a row. We finished act one, fam!
previously, in harrowbean the ninth:
this happened
I want to also thank you for all your nice comments and replies, I read every single one, I promise ♥
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ch. 7 to 11 summarized terribly, here we go:
it's time to cross the river
difficult task to perform
as someone who lives literally surrounded by rivers, in every direction, I can relate
my rivers don't carry ghouls though, as far as I know
I mean, there are ghost and cryptid legends, but not ghouls that stick to the windshield of a spaceship like bugs
like these ones do
so harrow and yandere twin aren't doing fantastic
yandere twin loses it in like the first 2 seconds
harrow sees the ghosts of all the ninth kids who died for her to be alive
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there's water also, but that part sounds very relaxing, actually
getting covered by water but not needing to breath
I'd be there forever tbh
but we can't, because ghoulies
mercygirl is still doing sound effects like kronk
btw we're changing her name to mercygirl because it's what I've been calling her now
I have been told by a number of you that mercygirl is your camilla so I apologize for disrespecting your blorbina
I might do it again, if the situation arises, though
mercygirl is piloting the ship and emperor the fool is just chillin' until he realizes harrow is walking about and doing theorems, which they didn't think she'd be in a state to do, so they didn't tell her not to do it
these people half-assing plans, who would have thought
mercygirl calls the emperor john
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emperor johnnyboy tries telling harrow to come back from her state because she's in too deep and it's becoming dangerous
mercygirl stars talking about the death of cassiopeia (another name that's easy to remember)
says cassiopeia had a ceramics collection, which makes her worthy of all my respect
harrow was thinking "five", idk what it's about
next thing we know, we're back to our gideonless retelling of gideon
in this version, teacher explains things
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he says the house was inhabited previously by "ten normal human beings of the Resurrection, though half were blessed already with necromantic gifts"
I'm tired of MATH
he says they left blueprints, he tells them about the Sleeper, he tells them how not to awaken it, he tells them about the trap door, he tells them what's under the trap door, he asks them to work together...
you know what this is like
it's like reading gideon was entering a new game and skipping every tutorial they give you
and reading this is like clicking every NPC's info and reading all that they say
ANYWAY, here is where ortus 1...
wait, this is going to be confusing
I want to call ortus from the ninth "ortus 1" and the new guy "ortus 2"
because ninth ortus was the first to show up
but new ortus is actually older and also is ortus the first
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we're gonna go with ortus and lyctor!ortus, for now
so, as I was saying, this is were ortus starts becoming much more insistent in these "flashbacks" about him not being the right choice
which, he's not wrong
we know he's not wrong
and harrow is saying stuff like "unless you can summon matthias nonius" (matthias nonius is becoming a recurrent thing, let's remember harrow compared gideon to him at one point)
and ortus goes "I don't understand why you chose me" to which harrow says "there was nobody else" and ortus exasperatedly says "you never did posses an imagination"
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VERY IMPORTANT THING
a skeleton turns around when they're walking and says "is this how it happens?"
we'll come back to that shortly
REMEMBER IT
(I know you all remember it, you've read this already, just act like I'm dora the explorer and play along)
next chapter starts in not!dulcinea's funeral
I'm sad I used the oliver queen grave meme already, I can't use it again to express my feelings
I'm gonna use the steel magnolias scene where they laugh at the funeral instead
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so, we are introduced to the famous augustine who's name I will remember
there's some conversation about first and second generations and about not!dulcinea being chosen, and Emperor Johnny Bravo says "we were all there to meet her, all sixteen of us"
MORE MATH
I guess she was the last one of these, but maybe we knew that already, I feel we knew that already
apparently, not!dulcinea was the most reluctant to slurp her cavalier, but that didn't stop any of them, not even her, so
Emperor Johnny Quest says "for god's sake" and harrow thinks "the god who became a man and yet still invoked himself, apparently"
when she's right, she's right
that's better commentary than I could make
I have to respect augustine a little bit because he asked "which one of the kiddies did her in?" and I thought that was hilarious
he is called the saint of patience, which makes my previous comment about them being named via sarcasm very correct
it's like captain planet or the power rangers but chosen as funnily as possible
they start summoning lyctor!ortus by saying that he's interested in "you-know-what", which is both suspicious and childish and the vibes of these lyctors are all over the place
augustine thinks something's wrong, which is an understatement at this point, but ok
lyctor!ortus comes in as if summoned by the gossip and harrow calls him "the next terrible part of your life" which is saying something
lyctor!ortus comes with news of the seventh beast or whatnot that's trailing them
harrow bleeds from her ears and smashes her head on the next available surface to pass out
the mood
who could blame her
this lyctor job is terrible
it's like the end of drop dead gorgeous and harrow is kristen dunst
I'm not explaining that, in case you haven't watched a classic
we are back to the "flashbacks" and we've got a special appearance from the fifth
*studio audience claps and cheers*
they say they prefer to look into books than going downstairs, which is something one would consider if one had known what the fuck was downstairs from the start
abigail also does sound effects like mercygirl, it's catching on
abigail finds a piece of a recipe note that mentions an M and a Nigella
still no G&P
we know nigella is the cav of cassiopeia, the ceramics collector
I remember nigella's name because of the cook, which makes it funnier that it's a recipe
M could be mercygirl
abigail also gives harrow a note
abigail says that she'd like to summon the ghost of a lyctor but she's not sure how that could work or where they go when they die
ortus, magnus and abigail, in this gideonless version, are a polycule
I am convinced of that
while they're talking, magnus says "is this really how it happens?"
REMEMBER I SAID WE'D BRING THAT BACK
IT'S BACK
abigail starts telling harrow that she's got the energy of a lot of dead kids in her and harrow storms out
harrow gets angry when ortus calmly agrees about things and she doesn't want to look into why
I WONDER WHY THAT IS
harrow looks at abby's note again and now there's text on it
it's a longer version of the note she found before
it's a rant
it mentions dead eggs, implantation, some guy being sent after the OP, said guy taking pity on OP
OP is mad about all of this and doesn't use punctuation
what ortus reads isn't what harrow reads, once again
NOW THIS BIT
"ortus, I need a cavalier with a backbone" "You always did and I am glad, I think, that I never became that cavalier"
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the gideon points keep adding up
harrow then goes to sleep and is like this
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final thing in act I, in chapter 11, is harrowbean stabbing not!dulcinea again, which
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always make sure, it's like resident evil in here
just in case, let's stab her a bunch of times
so, are these "flashbacks" happening in real time whenever harrow isn't conscious?
is it her trying to remember what actually happened?
or is it her trying to hide it?
was there actually a longer period of time between the defeat of not!dulcinea and the emperor Jon Arbuckle coming to pick them up?
a period of time in which harrow learned things that made her write those letters?
and in which something happened regarding gideon?
is the note of the implantation also related?
why was gideon born in space?
of course I'm not asking you, please don't spoil anything, I'm just asking the void of desperation and chaos right now
we'll see if any of this gets answered soon or if I just get more questions
also, guess who wasn't mentioned
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see you on the next one!! I'll try to get back to the awesome replies I've been getting soon ♥
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