#i think... im getting better at this idk 😭 i still need to improve

[robotpussy]

Black Hole Sun - Soundgarden

[anonymouscheeses]

They are everything to me.

[bonbonly]

Wait because why do I need to hear more about college lando like I feel like he would be into corrupting his innocent friend IDK MAYBE IM JUST SELF PROJECTING AT THIS POINT

Sorry if this didn’t make sense bonbon I’m running off like an hour of sleep 😭

-🎃

no no dont apologize! 🎃 anon you are onto something here ok

bon's thoughts (18+)

collegeau!lando. ok im writing this and had like the filthiest thought come into my mind oh my goddd but i can see you being top of the class, sitting in the front and answering all the questions in class. lando's sitting in the back, sleeping most of the time but there's rare occasions when you drag him to the front and he watches you raise your hand and ask questions that impresses the professors. he's a bit jealous, but then realizes that instead of trying to be like you, why couldn't you be more like him?

you're so innocent and sweet, it all comes to plan when he invites you to the library late at night. you never went to the library at night, only the morning because you always rambled on about how 8 hours of sleep was required for a good day. he reasons that its a friday night, it's ok and that was the only reason you show up in the private study room. you open the door and see him stroking his cock, eyes glued on his laptop as he's taking notes.

"lando?" you frown, eyes traveling to his hard cock. he waves at you, greeting you with a smile, though you can't seem to understand what he's doing, "lando what's going on?"

"oh, this? this helps me study!" he smiles, going back to stroking his cock as he's reading the notes you sent him earlier in the day. you frown,

"really? i know almost every study technique, i-i've never heard of this," you reply, tilting your head to get a better look at him.

"that's because only i use this technique, i found it out one day but i can't seem to perfect it. i just... i just think im not good at it. could you help me out?" lando asks, and you nod your head. you'd do anything to help your friend!

he directs you to your knees, and has you under the table. he's this close to giggling, he can't believe how innocent you are... how stupid you could be to let him do this to you! this is so much fun to him, and he presses his thumb into your mouth, opening it gently before guiding you down on his cock. he nearly cums right there, your mouth feels like heaven. he's having you suck his cock the whole night, your throat is covered in just his cum and when it's around 5 am, you're whining about how he ruined your sleep schedule.

"but you helped me study!" he exclaims and you shrug your shoulders,

"I guess so... as long as it helps you to study."

and so for the rest of the semester (and maybe for the rest of your years at uni) every friday night consists of you sucking on lando's cock, he even goes so far as to have your pussy wrapped around him as he's fucking into you like a madman, refusing to elaborate how exactly this benefitted his studying but you're very thankful that his grades are improving, somehow.

you're still top of the class, don't worry about that, lando would never ruin your education like that. but it was really funny to see you sitting in the front row with his cum dripping down your thighs, cock drunk to the max because now you're insisting you can only study with his cock stuffed inside your cunt.

that's a win for him.

[vampiric-succulent]

OUAW EP 20:

It’s not even past the bean footage yet and already I have a thing to comment about—

“Hey. Keep working. Keep your hands down.” Idk if it’s just Mace or if it’s me but this is an interesting thing to start the episode with

Also I lowkey already watched this but considering that I wasn’t really paying attention due to Sleep im rewatching

Oh this is the Silly Goofy episode. Got it.

Watching this is so different now that I know how tall each of these people actually are in real life

“Mr Kremyyyyy….. Torbek had a nightmaaaare………..” torb <3

Hot jones?

Why is Mikey using the King Shmebulon voice

Oh the energy here is so weird today

NEXT YOURE GONNA TELL TORBEK THAT A SHRIMP FRIED THAT RICE and they’re gone

The improv shenanigans here are SO GOOD— “the wee hours” watches and the blue J and the bottle of something

HOT JONES!!!

“There was that guy and he was like… woah.” Bi Gricko!!!! “Why you always watching these kingly types and looking at their woah?” Lmfao Gideon you are no better

Degenerate Jones

TABAXI TORBEK and eughhh Mammon Tiefling Gricko (applying for all Mammon Tiefling Gricko)

I love how Kremy is super paranoid thinks everyone is out to get him but still immediately tells Gideon everything (I need to see Gideon do some sort of something back bc coalecroux is feeling increasingly one sided and it is making me sad)

“Torbek was happy with the infinite abyss”

THE FEDS

Poor Twig she went from dealing with absolute loneliness to dealing with all this bullshit. She needs to have the space to Bogart out a little bit like get this woman a destruction room

Twig 🤝 Torbek

coping mechanisms

Gideon has such older brother who acts like a father figure to Twig vibes

THE FEDS THEYRE IN THE CLOTHES

Torbek is simply following suit… following the suit to the ground lmfao

PENIS NOSE?????? HOW IS THAT AN OPTION

Gideon is overwhelmed by Penis im sorry

This is just reminding me of when Frost got the proud nudist curse and Derek made that slapping turn joke 😭

Obligatory “im walkin here” please stop

Nvm we have the coalecroux and also poly party affirmations (long shots and headcanons)

OH!!! Woah there Kremy

“Think of the Federal government!” Quick Gid take your clothes off!! The government!!!

OH NO THE ORCIFICATION

NO THE FUCKING CABINET

DEREK. DEREK WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT DEREK WE COULD HAVE NEVER GONE DOWN THAT ROAD

Love Torbek’s Spring Aladrin voice. It’s like some sort of old English aristocratic friend of Oscar Wilde.

Oop! Theseus’s Ship mentioned (kind of)

“Did we do a bunch of drugs before bed again?” Funny you should have asked that Gideon given what is now happening

“Tentacles probe me” “yes Gideon join us the time is now get naked”

WHY IS IT ERECT NOW DEREK. PUT THAT DOWN. “Something about beekeeper helmets…” HUH

Oh god Twig is gonna bogart out

PUT IT DOWN. PUT THAT THING DOWN AND AWAY.

“STOP BEING ERECT. STOP EATING MY BONES”

Love how Nikkie says “your mind is back to Gricko” and Mikey just starts screaming

Whoops!

It is so impressive how Twig is so controlled. Like she has every justification to absolutely freak out right now and she’s keeping calm and trying to manage things.

Thank god Hootsie is out of this lol

NO TWIG LOOK AWAY

“Torbek was *very* thorough.”

Okay seriously how old is Twig?? This is a very important question. Like REALLY important.

I’m imagining Spring Aladrin Torbek lying on a couch like he’s gonna say “draw me like one of your French girls”

Guys. Please. We are nearly halfway through this video. Please.

YES CAST SILENCE. HUSH MICHAEL.

No Twig it’s not your fault!!!!!!! No!!!!!!!!!!!

Not the Pennsylvanian sperm trees

“After what I’ve watched today I don’t think you’ll accomplish anything of value.”

Not the milk joke PLEASE y’all not the cilk

Frost is so sweet tho

No more Hot Joneses :(

Yesss Twig establish those boundaries!!!!

Tom is such a deep cut

Okay so Twig is at least 200 years old. Good. That’s really good. Good to know.

Grinko is having a stronk. Please call the Gronkulance.

WHAT HAPPENED TO HOOTSIE.

Omg she’s their niece!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But also HOLY FUCK HE HIT HER??? WITH A CABINET????????

“Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.”

Menasith, and their older sibling Menapauthe.

The Glowing Anus 😭

Oh this is Nikkie’s fault. Fantastic.

MORNING FROTH CONGRATULATIONS EVERYONE

“That’s very funny Gricko. Your daughter is possibly bleeding out.”

Ohhhh Hootsie’s okay thank god

Gricko however is really not

Okay so I know this is a fantasy campaign and we are in the literal Feywild so this like kind of doesn’t matter but how does Gideon get energy??? Does he need to absorb nutrients or is it just sort of as long as he keeps his internal furnace alive he’s okay?

Twig boundaries 100 with regards to Torbek but fully get the party’s concerns

Also Twigsy ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Not Gricko being hypnotized by Spring Aladrin Torbek’s hip sway

Torbek does not know but Torbek must dance!!!!

Oh Torbek’s ticket is so sad

“This is an Acorn Satchel!!!”

Mikey annoying Nikkie so much that she just takes things away

Frost getting jealous over the Gricko impression 😭❤️

What is a mud meffet?????

I love Andy so much. Oh he’s wonderful. So glad he’s here.

KLUTZY RETURNS for like two seconds

Love these guys. Oh my lord. Also what the fuck happened in the first like hour???? Still a fun little episode.

[zephyrine-tale-archived]

im doing the rant about N25 KAITO i fucking lied about it coming on the weekend because im bored as hell :3

*ahem*

so N25 KAITO is memed a lot because in the April Fool's event, there's an area convo with N25 Rin where she's talking with another unit's KAITO (either VBS or WXS i can't remember 💀) and she's like "oh. i wonder if our KAITO will be like that :)"

and in EN server there's almost certainly people meming the way the new stamps tastefully ignore N25 KAITO

and I'm interested by this because I think niigo KAITO coming last was a very purposeful decision by the writers?

let's look at the first four KAITOs. Leoni KAITO is quiet, shy, but still a helpful senpai- exactly what the Leoni girls like Saki and Ichika have been needing for direction in their music studies and becoming a better band by working together individually and as a group.

MMJ KAITO is a hardworking manager, who provides that "push" that's shown to help Minori the most. Minori has her head in the clouds often and is shown to be helped by very severe, what I would consider maybe slightly "harsh" instruction from the others. (Think Airi always training her and pushing her to go harder, that's what Minori needs.) KAITO provides that push and also shows the management side of being an idol group for MMJ- all of MMJ are idols after all, to my knowledge none of them have managing experience. But keep in mind, he's still kind. He's still helpful and nice, and smiles often.

VBS KAITO is shown as mostly a direct contrast to Akito and how since the main story, he (akito) has wanted to work hard and consistently for the goal to surpass Rad Weekend, even perhaps putting his studies aside. KAITO represents keeping talent and being hardworking, while still being lazy and having fun. I think he also represents as motivation for Kohane, who was convinced by the main story she needs to work constantly and hardly and push herself beyond other things she enjoys to be able to reach this goal- but she doesn't. All of VBS can achieve their goal while still having fun with it, and that's what their KAITO represents.

WXS KAITO is literally fucking WXS KAITO idk what you want

Okay jokes aside as the "main" KAITO he is there to provide the more serious aspect to WonderShow's silly goofiness. Tsukasa definitely also has is head in the clouds, but all he wants is "to become a STAR! ⭐️" without really knowing how to achieve that goal. KAITO represents the path to that goal, and motivates him to work for that future. We see before PXL and SEKAI, that Tsukasa wasn't really getting anywhere with his acting career, right? And there's a whole other bucketload of info about what he represents for Emu, Nene, and Rui, but I can't figure out how to word it 😭 😭

So to sum it up, KAITOs seem to show what the unit members (especially the "leaders" but not always) need and motivates them to get to their overall goal, they were created in the image of what they want and what they need. And in contrast to Niigo KAITO, they are all NICE. They are all helpful, kind, fun, and genuine.

Now, remember what I said just now, about how they were created in the image of what the unit members want and what they need.

With Niigo, it's a common theme that could be said that "all roads lead back to Mafuyu." Kanade wants to save someone with her music, and Mafuyu represents that desire for her. Ena wants to prove herself as a talented and respectable artist, and she'll know she reaches that goal once Mafuyu is able to genuinely tell her, from the bottom of Mafuyu's heart, that Ena had improved and gotten the feeling she wanted to convey across to someone who is practically incapable of feeling anymore. And Mizuki ,,, there's definitely something for them to but I can't remember anything abt their stories rn 😭 😭 im a failed mizuki kinnie istg (also this entire paragraph was not supposed to invalidate any of their individual stories and characters and say that mafuyu is the best and only character of N25 that's not it at all)

So, considering Mafuyu under this lens, and quoting that KAITOs tend to represent what a unit member needs and wants to move forward, this becomes interesting because deep down, Mafuyu doesn't know what she needs or wants. There were definitely people who predicted that N25 KAITO was gonna be an asshole, but for the most part KAITO's harsh strictness and rudeness came as a direct contrast to all of the kind, helpful SEKAILOIDS we've seen before. Even N25 MEIKO was just kinda chill and quiet with the occasional not nice comment, but KAITO came forward with the sharp, harsh comments about what exactly Mafuyu needs to do. I heard somewhere that Mizuki tells Mafuyu that maybe running away would be a good idea, and that Rui tells her something similar.

But KAITO flat out fucking commands her (and the others i think) that she needs to confront and cut ties with mafumom IMMEDIATELY, and not in a nice or encouraging way either.

Anyways that was my midnight thought I had and I definitely did not do any research, so if I said something totally wrong or you'd like to make an argument/bring up new points, PLEASE feel free to reblog and tell me your thoughts! Plus I didn't beta read this or anything so it probably won't flow well and there might be a few typos or grammer mistakes. Hope you enjoyed reading!

[cyybrzz]

To anyone who sees this and does musical theater...

I need advice... again. this time it's a theater thing for all my musical theater performers out there who wanna help a girl out 😔🙏

🔮 I'm having an internal crisis.

So i've been into musicals for FOREVER and I love singing songs at karaoke and getting into character and stuff whatever THE POINT IS recently i've been considering actually trying out for a musical?? the last time i didn't theater was elementary school if that counts and i've never been apart of a choir so no i can't read sheet music or know what it means sos the closest i've gotten is orchestra. I'm just nervous because i've never done THEATER before and i would have no idea how to prepare and i feel like id make myself look stupid at any auditions if i did; now im here on tumblr again asking for advice!!

🔮 *googles how to get my voice to work*

i don't think i'm a BAD singer but i'm not anything out of this world, i think i'm anywhere from an alto to a mezzo-soprano?? (my most comfortable songs to sing are JD's songs from heathers or ngrom from waitress, i can also sing from like deja vu to 505 if that helps to any music nerds anywhere! thanks) anyway i don't even know my voice range and whether im a good singer; also i think that 99% of the time im singing with my head voice and idk how to belt or sing with chest voice so if anyone has any vocal advice on how to sing better and warmup my voice for stuff like this it'd be greatly appreciated i'm literally clueless when it comes to singing so if you think any piece of advice is stupid and common knowledge it's probably not for me and i'll gladly take it

🔮 fake it til you make it??

I DONT KNOW IF IM A GOOD ACTRESS EITHER UGH i don't really get stage fright bc i do multiple sports/activities that require me being in front of an audience i just don't want to look stupid 😓💔 I can memorize lines and stuff like that it's just the performance aspect in worried about so if anyone has tips on how to scope out my acting ability or how to improve it reach out please i #needthat

🔮 auditions exist... unfortunately

uhm how do auditions work bc i don't wanna embarrass myself if i even decide to go for it bc what if i make a fool of myself and ill have to fall off the face of the earth and no one will be able to see me again? what if i mess up at auditions and they think im terrible? what if i don't mess up and they still think im terrible? it's so scary as a newbie someone please sos

🔮 do i even go for it?

with all these issues and roadblocks do i even try to go for it... i have a friend that does theater and i'm scared they'll judge me if i mention trying out for it 😭 the urge to try theater again (kinda) has been so strong lately and me being watching musicals and singing songs doesn't help! please be brutally honest i need it, toodles!

[raveneira]

I just don't get why Ikemoto is drawing AND writing at the same time..... Like it would've been better if Kodachi stayed and wrote the story, Or Kishimoto continues it (which btw he wants vacation lol). Kodachi/Kishi wrote the better story and they had the vision, on the other hand, Ike's writing is literally a fanfiction lol.

Btw, do you think we still have hope for KawaSara, cuz it's looking too rough now? Don't get me wrong, I still ship it, but Idk what to expect lol....

Yeah, whats worse is its not even Ikemoto's fanfiction, he's literally taking actual fanfic/fan theories and makin em canon, and you cant even say its impossible because in the interview he literally gets off track from answering a question to address complaints he was seeing online to defend himself 😭 so this man DOES look at fandom feedback, so theres no way you can say its totally a coincidence that so many fan theories became canon EXACTLY as they predicted it, theres just no way.

Once or twice you could say that it was a fluke, but this is way more times than one, and the fact that he pretty much confirmed that regardless of fans justified complaints about certain things he will ignore them because 'he likes it that way' so ppl will just have to deal with it.

Meaning having any hope of him taking any of the valid criticism to improve is gone, whatever he likes is what hes gonna do, even if it goes against what even Kishimoto himself wants/wanted because it is HIS story now and Kishimoto has no intention on intervening since hes happy spending time with his family now and isnt ready to let that time go again yet, which is understandable and I hope he takes as long a break as he wants or needs, I just hate that his legacy is being tarnished in the meantime because greedy higher ups WOULDNT let the series die and Kishimoto get a break like he asked for.

The story really did peak under Kishimoto and Kodachi's writing direction, the second the story shifted entirely in IKEMOTOS direction you saw the quality DROP and the story become a directionless convoluted inconsistent mess.

As for if I still have hope for KawaSara...to be honest I dont know anymore, the reveal that Ikemoto is 100% writing and that Kishimoto himself doesnt even know where the story is headed anymore and is just as much a reader as the rest of us, and even if he does give input, he lets Ikemoto have the final say, has gotten me unsure of what to expect anymore.

Under Kishimoto and Kodachi's writing they were pretty strongly hinting at building more on Kawaki and Sarada's relationship, his bond with team 7, to really drive home his betrayal later so that it'd have some real weight and impact from all their build up. So the potential for KawaSara was very high from what they were setting up.

But Ikemoto? yea I dunno what to expect from him, but if where the story direction changed is anything to go by [which Ikemoto confirms was all his doing and its a completely different direction than the one Kishimoto and Kodachi had planned] its safe to say hes tryna push bsa, either that or troll like a mf just to keep those viewers engaged since this manga is tanking more and more every chapter and the biggest supporters are shippers who just wanna see Boruto and Sarada get together for eugenics.

I wont say KawaSara has lost yet or that its hopeless, the ship hasnt been definitively killed off yet, theres still a possibility this is just another NS situation, teasing what the ppl want just to keep em readin till the very end where he finally says alright now for the real endgame once he no longer has anything to lose by pissing off bsa lol

Even if Im unsure about KawaSara at this point in time, Im still fairly confident in BoruSumi even tho alot of ppl have written her off just cuz she doesnt have a hug scene [NH doesnt either anywhere in the manga but NS does] or a reckless attempt at saving the other [according to KK Sarada and Boruto both would've died if not for the other shinobi arriving when they did so she didnt even save him fr so this argument is invalid]

They also downplay her feelings just because shes more reserved and rational than Sarada, which is kinda the point of opposites attracting and balancing eachother out [Minato being the quiet calm level headed one while Kushina is hot headed and loud] whereas Sarada and Boruto are both portrayed as hotheaded rebels apparently, their kinda the same person atp but thats another topic for another day.

Point is KawaSara is up in the air, but BoruSumi shouldnt be counted out yet, lack of screentime and interaction didnt mean jack shit for NaruHina, SaiIno, or ChoKarui, so lets not pretend its the ship killer for BoruSumi.

Lets also not pretend that SS didnt also go through one hell of a rough patch cuz they did, and they still became canon in the end, so again lets not pretend these things are ship killers alright because they aint, the real meat of the story hasnt happened yet, and Kawaki is supposed to be getting more development soon so lets see how that goes and who its with first and judge further from there.

[autisticlee]

I did my first case manager meeting to try to get help for autism/disability. we talked about what I need/what she can help me with and about goals for us to meet.

I guess her job is to work towards helping me ~improve my skills and become independent to where i no longer need help~

anyone else have a case manager? is that standard?

because....the problem is I AM technically independent now. I never get help or support and have been forced to do things alone my whole life despite how overwhelming and frustrating and exhausting it is. it's too hard and takes too much out of me. things never go right or get worse and it takes me so long to recover from simple/normal things

so I think I need constant help to make things easier because my issues aren't really things I can work on improving, that im aware of. pretty sure they're things i'm stuck with for life. I can't make my autism go away fbbdhhfhdjdd

that's how all these types of things seem to work. all the help/support things are always meant to be temporary. it's "work to improve so you don't need help anymore" rather than just getting the help and support you lack and need so you can have a more stable life and easier time when your disability is for life 😭 like how physical therapy is "get your injury better so you no longer need pt" and not "manage your life long condition and keep it monitored so it doesn't get worse"

so I think I still need to trick someone into being my life partner to help me through life lmao but she said she can help me find local things to go to and try to make connections and meet people so maybe I can trick people into being my friends and doing things for me fhfhddgdhjsskI

know her job isn't like long term take care of me and my issues but that's what I feel I need. I don't think I can train myself to make phone calls easier, train my auditory processing and sensory issues away, mask my autism away, etc. so what do I do? try to improve these things anyway and burn out even more like last time i tried to appear "more independent" while trying to get some help?

this is the only "autism help/support" available at all! and it's not even autism specific. the lack of help and support for autism is appalling. she explained her job and services are for people with mental health disorders like anxiety to give them skills and make them more confident and independent. autism isn't a disorder that can be overcome. so....?????? idk I just try anyway I guess? I have no other options 😭

I was told a case manager is supposed to help coordinate with places for me like make phone calls/appointments, go to appointments to communicate to doctors for me. but she says she can do that, but ultimately her job is to teach me how to do it myself. I know how in theory since i've been forced to do everything for almost 15 years with no help. but I just struggle and nothing goes right and I keep burning out so fast and so intensely that I completely lose even simple skills like showering regularly 😭

guess I misunderstood how it's supposed to work or something and not sure how to approach it besides try to force myself to learn how to not be overwhelmed and overstimulated and bad at everything?????

anyone else, autistic especially, do case management and have advice? want to share your journey? how did it help you? did it improve your struggles? did you gain the ability to do things alone easily like make phone calls and drive and process conversation and remember words and control burnout and sensory overload?

[morningstar-chronicles]

(4 year shifter here hi)

I decided I'm shifting. Like I'm ready to dive back in because 4 years??? nothing should take you 4 years to do and thats utter bs and i will NOT stand that. im gonna shift!!! because 4 years of my life is not gonna be wasted fantasizing a world instead of improving my own. i could've mastered a skill in 4 years. out of pure SPITE I WILL BE SHIFTING AND ILL MAKE IT A CONSISTENT THING TO VISIT MY DRS!!!!

Only problem is. I HAVE SO MUCH ANXIETYYYYY around shifting. I mostly blame tiktok for this but i have such imposrer syndrome (i just learned that term maybe im usijg it wrong). i feel like nothing im doing is correct and my brain tells me with assurance im not gonna shift because of it.

i know if I just believed id be with my husband rn. but i dont know how and 4 years of conditioning myself to believe i wont im scared i cant undo it and my thoughts on life is *if you dont believe you can do it you won't do it*

l asked my tarot deck for advice on what to do and got:

situation: The devil, Page of swords

what to do: The Emperor

i have no clue what's this is meant to mean 😚

hm. okay so i'm not super well-versed in tarot but i'll consult my books for u

the devil (assuming upright): describes obsession and limitations. given the context, i'm going to assume these limitations are more percieved than actual physical limitations. this pretty much checks out with what you told me here. i'm getting that there is a lot of overthinking and maybe method hopping or trying to make something work that just doesn't align with what you need.

page of swords (assuming upright): tells me that you are very methodical and thorough with your attempts. this is great for most aspects of life, but in my own personal opinion, shifting is about letting go of the details and focusing on the big picture.

the emperor (assuming upright): this was most interesting to me! it appears that you crave structure, and so a method with more structure may still be what works best for you. however, it also appears as though you need to focus on practicality over smaller details. you might benefit from taking a more commonly-known rigid method and changing certain things like the breathing pattern or steps that just don't allow you to relax.

ANYWAY that aside, you can totally shift even if you have doubts!! some people shift the day after they give up (baffling to me??? like omg universe i'm totally giving up... 👀) and i think something that helps a lot of people to know is like... anyone can shift. literally anyone. also i never do the methods right and i've shifted before so like... idk hopefully that helps you feel better about doing things wrong 😭

[butchrindou]

in a domestic setting , what roles do you both do ?( ie. who does bills , who does cooking , who does laundry , etc)

i just froze omg. for bills we definitely split, i wouldn’t want her paying for every necessity unless i can’t,, both of us do the laundry since i procrastinate with it sometimes and i always need someone to be there talking to me in order to do it so either she’d help me or if she’s not there or like out at the gym she’ll ft me to talk to me as i do it. For cookingg it starts off with me doing it but later on rindou definitely learns and honestly i feel like she’d be a much better cook later on. There’s something about her that i think that when she does something for someone, she doesn’t want it to be half assed at all so her cooking definitely improves rapidly but at first,, fire alarms will be set off weekly.

I feel like it would be a little troublesome at first, our schedule i mean. Especially when she heads to do her gigs and stuff and i can’t even see her since by the time im out of work, she’s already headed out <- this is before we really like talk about it because this would mess with me like crazy..

later on let’s say a few years a lot of the stuff we do are just silent acts of love. Neither of us are good at words at all and at first when we started dating rindou tried wooing me with money (it worked because ?? hello?) but sometimes i do get tired of it and she does notice this so she learns that doing simple things just like chores with me makes me especially happy. Idk she’s like my adderall LMAO i can only focus on stuff when she’s there and she knows that. The same thing happens with her. Honestly i feel like she’s the type to not even want to really hang out with anyone else 😭 and it’s not in like a possessive way. She grew up being close with Ran so i feel like she doesn’t feel the need to have a large group of friends in the first place, so she’s completely fine with literally spending the whole day with me even if im busy.

i feel like rindou constantly needs her mind to be stimulated, she always needs to be in loud areas because she doesn’t like the thought of thinking about her issues. She’s constantly wanting to do something to keep her mind off of her thoughts because she feels shameful of talking about it. Definitely later on she learns to turn these actions down, trying to use her energy on spending time with me. It’s hard but she learns to enjoy the silence (she absolutely despises it at first.) going back to her learning how to cook too she finds enjoyment on it because it’s definitely much better than drinking her brain half dead majority of nights and she enjoys it because she’s doing it for someone she loves which is still very hard for her to express! This goes for little things like keeping jars a bit loose because of my wrist pains, making sure i’m getting enough sleep, and simple reminders. For her i definitely help her keep track of her health and when i get the time, ill make her a dish that (hopefully) fits her diet all though i think many bulking meals taste absurd. I also remind her to do her skincare as well as reminding her to moisturize her skin since she forgets a crazy amount after showering and she has pretty sensitive skin all around.

I really enjoy grocery runs with her.. i think they’re more enjoyable with someone else and i’m always making sure i get her favorite fruits and snacks. She holds majority of the bags, my shoulders hurt easily oops. I also love when she does my hair since i’m not very good at it. She definitely knows different types of braids and how to frame hair nicely with different styles. I trim and dye her hair though. She remembers specific brands and trinkets of characters i like and i remember her favorite shoe brands and accessory brands. I give her all my old silver jewelry and she gives me old sweaters for pajamas.

There’s definitely a lot more but my head is fuzzy right now aaghhh TT.

[aventurineswife]

ok wait..

i was about to fall asleep, but then i realized something

so a little storytime (or big storytime)!!

i currently have only been playing flute for a little over a year, i sent in a request that mentioned the instruments i played i think

theres this girl in my flute section that literally NO ONE actually likes, shes literally a pick-me

anyway, so on my friday, my band teacher wasnt at school, so she wanted us to do missing assignments and stuff. most of us were bored and didnt want to do any missing assignments (including me 😪)

i was bored and decided to play one of my concert songs and it sounded kinda bad bc flutes arent supposed to be played cold (and i barely warmed mine up), and then i hear my pick-me classmate tell her new friend (keep in mind her friend JUST transferred schools the day OF our first concert of the uear)

my pick-me classmate tells her friend: "she's still learning."

LIKE HUH?!??!

IDK IF SHE WAS DIRECTING THAT AT ME BUT IM PRETTY SURE SHE WAS

also u can tell my classmate is a pick me, JUST BY HEARING THE WAY SHE SPEAKS

ANYWAY

ima just expose this fucking girl BC SHE HAS THE AUDACITY TO SAY IM STILL LEARNING WHEN SHES OVER HERE NOT PLAYING HER GODDAMN FLUTE DURING OUR SONGS

i will put this out here, shes been playing flute for probably a year or two longer than me

and im 100% SURE SHE DOESNT EVEN PLAY IT BETTER THAN ME

also bc my bestiest westie - whos also a flute sits next to her and never hears her play (when flutes are sitting next to each other u can usually hear ur right or left side more depending on ur angle)

also all that girl does is just hold her flute up and probably doesnt even play. like i see her hold it up when we r supposed to be resting (if u get what i mean) and doesnt get the queues our band teacher gives us when we are supposed start to play again

the way my band teacher does seating charts is like, least experienced to more experienced. and theres like 5 flutes in the official flute seating chart (we r excluding the transfer student cuz my teacher has yet to change the seating chart)

so like the flute seating chart is like this: 1-2-me-my bestie-pick me girl. pick me girl is at the end bc she was in advanced band last year while me and my friend were in beginning band

if the my pick-me classmate wasnt in advanced band last year the seating chart probably wouldve been like this: 1-pick-me girl-3-me-my bestie

i mightve confused u since i wrote a lot 😭

just tell me if u need things to be clarified :3

-:3 anon

THE FUCKING AUDACITY?! 🤨😭

Like miss girl, you ain't the main character 🧍‍♀️

It's honestly the audacity for her to make that comment when she’s not even properly playing. You’ve been practicing and improving, so for her to call you out like that is so out of line 💀

And the whole "pick-me" energy is just... ugh, so transparent (she reminds me of sister's ex- friend and my god, she's a pick me and annoying af💀)

And honestly, it’s hard not to let that kind of comment get to you, but it sounds like you have a solid grasp on your skills and you’re dedicated to getting better, which speaks volumes. Keep doing your thing, and don’t let someone like her get under your skin! 💖🫂🫶

[duckiemimi]

ever since the whole exhibition thingy idk what the hell it is I’m new to jjk (caught up though!!) i have no hope gojo is coming back. im kinda sad we’re still fighting sukuna :( i wanted to see gojo help save megumi but i also wanted to see everyone save gojo like i fucking love everyone jumping sukuna but I wish they did it before gojo died BUT IM SELFISH 😭😭😭

i also think shinjuku showdown dragged! i wanted to give the pacing the benefit of the doubt because weekly publications can affect how an arc is read, but i reread it again a couple days ago, back to back without pause, and well...it still dragged. i hope this is something the anime can improve on, and judging by how well season 2 was animated, i'm sure it'll come out better on screen!

OH, what i would've GIVEN to see an alternative version of their plan. there were so many things i disliked in this arc. i thought the way everyone stood idly—casually, even—while gojo fought sukuna was frustrating, considering the dire situation. i understand that jumping in would hinder gojo practicality-wise, and it would be disrespectful because it's also a fight to determine who's the strongest (blah blah), but couldn't they have looked for kenjaku while it happened—kenjaku who was their main concern before? why did they mobilize only after gojo died? if i recall correctly, kusakabe's reasoning behind this as one of the more prominent planners was that they needed to conserve energy and numbers to fight sukuna if gojo loses. but they quickly split up once he did anyway, so the plan just came off as inefficient.

the rest of the cast watching through mei mei's crows and every single person giving unified commentary in different fonts seemed so unnatural, too. i understand readers might need some technical background for the power system, but we established a narrator for a reason! done like this, gojo vs. sukuna seemed like a way to buy time to figure out what happens next in the story, what to write towards the next major plot point gege had in mind.

then there was also the issue of pov switching. i understand what gege was going for here and i'm sure it's the shibuya formula, but because of the lack of detailed planning on his part, it just came off as inconsistent and disjointed. hakari vs. uraume seemed more like an exposition dump if anything. speaking of exposition, instead of clarifying revelation, the constant flashbacks seemed more like retroactive justifications towards under-planned plot points. gege was struggling to put one foot forward every chapter, like he was being chased while running on sticky tar. any way to get to the finish line.

anyway, how this became a rant on shinjuku showdown, i'm not sure HAHA, but i hope that's okay with you. i don't think you're selfish! i think you have a point!

[httpiastri]

PAULLLLL😫😫😭😭🫠🫠 (he rlly loves his ballerina moments doesnt he?) omfg my heart is shattered after hearing his radio😔 PAUL ITS OK ITS NOT UR FAULT SILVERSTONE IS HARD AND IT WAS SPRINKLING

WTF I CANT W HADJ*R ON POLE WHY WHY MUST I SUFFER THIS MUCH GET THAT MAN'S FACE OFF MY SCREEN !! im so sad.

okok ykw guys maybe this is ok maybe this is cool? lets think ab it this way-- if hadj*r wins the championship but doesn't have an f1 seat (which from the looks of it isnt likely) THEN HES GONE NEXT SEASON AND WE DONT HAVE TO SEE HIS AGGRAVATING FACE ANYMORE !! AND AND we get to see paul for another f2 season where he improves even more and gets to show the teams again why they should sign him (esp since signings for f1 this season looks unlikely)

OK GUYS THIS IS OK I CAN COPE W THIS (in the long run ig not in the moment cz i CANNOT handle seeing hadj*r winning on my screen jesus help)

-🧸

paul is still in spain without the a <33 (or without the s)

but yea his radio aaaaa baby dont be too hard on yourself!! also genuinely i got a little scared seeing the onboard replay... that looked really scary, my heart hurt a little :( like his hand on the halo or whatever (idk any car parts sorry) 🥲

idk i just choose not to believe that french men exist so it's actually dennis pole again!!! <33

but genuinely, you have a point. i want paul to do well, i really really do – but my #1 wish is for him to not get p1 in the championship. he's much better off doing another year. he's said it himself, it isn't his goal to win this year, so why pressure him? he's been open with wanting to learn as much and possible and getting a lot of experience. he also only did one year in f3 so he definitely needs the experience. imagine him doing another f2 year but being backed by an f1 team whos pushing him to be able to get ready for a seat in 2026? much better

and speaking of is*ck's situation in rb, he just wont get a seat. like, unless he gets a DRASTIC change in pace and attitude and results, they're just not gonna want to give him an f1 seat. he'll probs be shipped of to japan for super formula and never come back again. because honestly, is he going to be ahead of liam and ayumu in the redbull order? no way. and i also think that seeing arvid lindblad's performances in f3 this year, they're definitely gonna want to make him the next step after liam & ayumu. so even though it hurts to see him do well, its like 🤷‍♀️ he wont get a seat anyway

(and as we discussed, hes only doing fp1 for redbull because liam cant. so)

but yes in the moment...... it hurts a lot

[slytherinshua]

Hopefully they will get a bit of rest before the show! They definitely need it after the tour though, the schedule seemed brutal. I don't think I'd be able to cope if it was me lol. You'll have to let me know what they are like to watch live, I'm sure they'll be amazing!!

Play is such a comfort song! I have definitely cried listening to it as well haha, also haze. I really do love how they have a song for every mood lol.

I'm honestly so glad that I started to listen to them when I did. I found them at a time when I'm finally starting to think more positively about myself and seeing my own potential, like seeing that I can improve myself but also being kind to myself when I inevitably mess up. I think the messages in their songs are really comforting and make me feel seen. (Although I still remember the night when hug by seventeen absolutely broke me ahaha) Finding a talented violinist who plays music that I like has helped me want to become better in that sense too, although admittedly I have wanted to improve for a while, but Yechan has actually given me a goal which is nice. (I've started to try and learn boogie man and my respect for Yechan has went WAY up).

I have wanted to watch super and for ages!! I never knew where to find it though. I found out about it because I'd started to listen to Hoppipolla and then would watch compilation videos of clips from superband. It seems so fun! And the amount of talent would make me cry ahaha. I'll and Ha Hyunsang's voices in 1000x almost made me cry the first time I listened to it because they blended so beautifully. After getting into Lucy, I was kinda like, the bassist in the awesome cover of the Coldplay song (I can't remember what it's called lol) was Wonsang?! Yechan played viva la Vida?? With Ha Hyunsang?? That made me want to watch it more ahaha (although I don't know if I'll be emotionally prepared to see Sangyeop cry)

I'll let you know if I have any ideas haha, but definitely keep writing for Lucy! I really liked your style of writing and thought you wrote Sangyeop really well!

Enjoy the show!!!!

okay now that I’m back from the show lemme answer this 🥹🥹 I think they did get some rest beforehand they were rly energetic and excited :( moreso than me cause I was so sore it hurt to stand and I was struggling when sangyeop wanted us to jump sigh

You could rly just tell they went all out for their last show of the tour and it was just so special :( I was right by wonsang bcuz he’s my bias and I wanted to watch him up close so most of the videos I took are of him. Whenever I could see sangyeop or get noticed by sangyeop I would die internally idk smth abt him live is just way too attractive and charismatic and he needs to stop being so fucking fine istg??? But wonsang was so cute I was chilling standing by him <33

I swear I can cry to any lucy song cause even the happy ones have sad or relatable lyrics… the sad ones hit so fucking hard absolutely when I need to cry colourless is my go to…. Sangyeop ugh 👹👹👹👹 and when it’s a song like boogie man I just cry cause of how beautifully crafted it is cause I think abt how hard wonsang works on every song LMAO IM SO EMO KILL ME

I also feel like I found them at just the right time but like for the opposite reason. I was going through intense burnout and listening to stove while I worked on schoolwork was the only thing keeping me going :( (along w bambam ty husband <3)

I NEED TO REWATCH SUPERBAND IN FULL TBH CAUSE 😭😭 I went back to watch the lucy stages but I just need to experience the WHOLE thing again… anyway here’s the link to the google doc with the google drive eps for you <3333 AND YES ADVENTURE OF A LIFETIME COVER!!!! Absolutely adored it sm I remember how everyone thought wonsang was selfish and trying to make himself stand out by only picking guitarists while he was the only bassist but then he got all 5 votes cause his arrangement was so beautiful and chilling and ethereal and I love him sm I always call him my lil genius :(

Dropping some photos from the concert hehe

[destinyc1020]

Confessions

1. I dnt care to know the ins/outs of TZs relarionship bt i always wonder how much they interact/hang out with other celebs (outside of work obligations) lol Z will alwaya go to a Beyonce party, and i remember that sighting of her at a cookout with John David/Sam Jackson bt im nosy to know the celeb parties her n Tom go to. I guess its nt that often cuz shes said shes introverted/shy (and dsnt seem into partying) bt i wonder if she wuld go to a party lik the one Quinta/Questlove histed

https://www.instagram.com/quintab/p/C8-PAtWyqrT/?hl=en&img_index=5

2. I want a Euphoria s3 🫣 *runs n hides* i wish that Sam culd get his thoughtz together for s3 (and involve Hunter who directed a great ep.in the past) and they can actually film the show bt i will b watching the nxt season if it actually gets filmed. I want to know wat happens to Rue/her family, Cassie is entertaining and i lik Jules. I hope Z gets to actually direct an episode or 2

2. I think it wuld really help Kaia if she started off with either sum more acting lessons or even do some kids/young adult (high school based) shows/movies first. I think being on a kid/young adults projects can help her emote better and thats smthn she can really work on cuz whatever acting teacher she got now isnt helping her. She dsnt tend to really change her face for modeling editorials and mayb she got the same mindset for acting? Even on this video...why is she barely moving her face, gurl its a kids reading show.. emote for them kids! 😭

https://youtube.com/shorts/_vUVLnx7ytM?feature=shared

Haha, you mean you want to see TZ interacting at some celeb parties? 😅 I feel you Anon. Z is pretty shy/introverted, and Tom says he "hates Hollywood" rotfl, sooo I doubt they go to HW parties that often. Plus, Z has been spending more time in London lately than in LA. She legit moved away from LA last year now that I think about it rotfl. LA is just a rest stop for her now days lol. 😅 I doubt she has that many options for celebrity parties in London compared to ones maybe going on in LA. That party that Quinta and Questlove just hosted looks amazing though! LOL. I LOVE game nights! 😁

2. Hey...it's okay if you want to admit that you wouldn't mind seeing a Euphoria S3 lol.🤭 Lots of people still love the show, so you're not alone there! I personally don't mind if they did 2 or 3 ending episodes to tie up any loose ends so that we can see what happened to the characters, but I personally don't need to see 8 months of filming 8 episodes for a full complete season. It sorta feels like the momentum for the show is dying down a bit. But we all know HBO is going to keep the show on the air as long as Sam writes, because I believe Euphoria is one of HBO's highest-grossing shows right now.

3. (I think you meant for this to be #3? Lol) Anyway....

#NOCOMMENT

I lied. How is her acting bad even just reading children's books?? Lawwwwd! 😩😭😅 Idk whether it's the years of modeling or WHAT, but something just seems so fake. Just read normally! LOL 😅 I think Kaia just needs to work on being NATURAL lol. THAT in itself would improve her acting sooo much.

Anyway.... I'd rather take Tom Hardy's bedtime stories thanks lol... 😅 He's actually pretty good at them!

I could listen to him talk allll day lol 🤣

[nyopilled]

ENTRY #7: 09/07/23

today's song: https://open.spotify.com/track/5Dx8iEsMuNrf7aF9TMV0Xe?si=WRG3r0CQTEyluSIFXilRjg

if i forgot to update today bc i was busy playing hsr no i didnt yes i did ❤️

today i slept, ate food, read webnovels, watched some eons videos n played hsr.

i wanted to read smth lighthearted yesterday cuz i was upset that n somehow i ended up reading an a/b/o esports danmei . dont ask how , but frm what ive read i think it was actually pretty serious n touched on gender roles and the struggles of people when they're forced into certain positions bc of their gender . the mc was even diagnosed w gender dysmorphia due to his unwillingness to identify as an omega (came from a different world) n i think he got surgery ? im not sure i dropped it halfway cuz i lost interest . n also the attitude of the doctor who diagnosed him rlly got me thinking it was an allegory to trans ppl bc he said its better that he gets the gland surgery instead of forcing him to change into an ideal omega like how some ppl do ... i think the author decided to portray the heat/gender/dynamic seriously n in a realistic manner which is actually nice .

me personally, i wldnt want to be reincarnated into an a/b/o universe .

BUT ALSO!!! WE NEED BAIHE ESPORTS NOVELS!!!!!!!!! idk if translators just haven't translated them or there rlly isnt a lot but this is starting to piss me off like . but at the same time... im aware of the misogyny in the gaming world (dont start on esports.) ... BUT STILL!!! YALL R WRITING A/B/O INTERSTELLAR ESPORTS NOVELS SO WHATS WRONG W WRITING BAIHE ONES????

WHAT ABT THE GAY GIRL GAMERS???

but anyways. i digress.

i ate popcorn today . i think the microwave popcorn companies have improved their recipes. me personally im not fond of too much butter n i prefer my popcorn salted . my mom bought the salted flavour popcorn and it was good. i will eat more tmrw 👍

i also ate fish today. i kinda have a trauma w fish cuz when i was younger i got a fish bone stuck in my throat like 3 different times which landed me in the hospital so yeah. i was so careful abt chewing n making sure i didnt accidentally swallow a fish bone... but i did 💔 dw im ok but still 😭😭😭 fish.... 💔💔💔

also terrible news: nui!diluc need surgery at the back of his head cuz the thread wasnt sewn properly n theres a hole . ill do it tmrw n update u all 😞

i didnt rlly do a lot today ... nothing of note rlly happened.

thats all.

additional notes: i wanna read the bts book . saw a lot of discussion abt it on twt .