#i think we should make the manager babysit i think it would be good for him

[thedeafprophet]

Just Maighread with her uncle May~

[yanmuffins]

Imagine if in the DC vs. Vampires universe, Reader dies shortly before Damian is even there? Dick having a lot of guilt and that's partly why he wants to turn Damian. So this baby sibling doesn't die. But Phineas Reader, Damian, Perry, and Doofenshmirts accidentally hop on over and Vampire King Dick becomes yandere? Especially when he finds out that, in a timeline you survived, his alternate neglected Reader.

Vampire Dick tries to bite us and turn us into a vampire. This registers to us as a murder attempt and we recognize the behavior in our Dick when he goes yandere? Reader just going, "He's suddenly nice to me. He's manipulating me to kill me, just like he did in the other dimension!" And Tim, who's babysitting Reader this time, flips and asks what we're talking about. "Oh. It was a really weird dimension. Dick was the Vampire King, slowly gaining power by turning all his friends and teammates into vampires, saving the Bat Family for last. But he immediately bashed your skull in after he ripped out Bruce's heart. He killed Cass and Steph and turned Damian, but the kid escaped. He tried to turn Jason, but Jason refused and the transformation didn't happen, killing him. Duke and Damian were leading the resistance against the vampires. So I helped make an invention that reversed vampirism."

Dick calls Reader cute enough to eat and reader is suddenly using aerosolized garlic like pepper spray.

i'm doing good, thank you!! ◝(ᵔᵕᵔ)◜

warning: spoilers for dc vs vampires universe.

so, assuming there was a reader in this universe who was not neglected and they're dead because of non-vampire-apocalypse-related reasons, p&f! reader's arrival causes quite the reaction. terrible timing, with the vampire quandary and all, but they're not unhappy. however, the most they can do is help p&f! reader and damian be safe and have someone with them at all times.

but i don't think dick would immediately try to turn reader. too unpredictable, plus he'd risk blowing his cover. so he wait. kills the batfam, he tries to turn reader and both damians since, well, there was an extra one so why not? but they manage to escape with only the og vampire damian being turned. and vampire king dick is so sad :(( why do none of his little siblings want to hang out and overthrow humanity with him?? :((((((

in his head he's thinking that since his alternate version couldn't appreciate his sibling (and how negligent do you have to be to not notice their inventions on bruce's backyard?), he doesn't deserve them. they should just stay here, in this world, let him turn them into a vampire so they can stay by his side! that's obviously the universe giving him a second chance.

so, when they manage to defeat him and return to their dimension, reader (and damian!) are following dick around, watching out for any signs of vampirism. tim recounts what reader told him about the vampires, and dick gets a good laugh out of it. come on, he would never do any of that!

but when dick's yandere-ness starts showing, reader will avoid him like the plague. he'll catch them eyeing him suspiciously while whispering to damian in a corner of the manor. he might not be a vampire, but sometimes there's something about him that's really unsettling...

[mya-valentine]

Scenario: Breaking Up an Argument Between Kaeya and Diluc

Setting: The courtyard of the Knights of Favonius headquarters. Kaeya and Diluc are having one of their infamous arguments, tension crackling in the air as their voices raise. Several knights, including Jean, Lisa, and Amber, are observing from a distance, both amused and concerned. Reader, being close to both of them, steps in to stop the chaos.

Kaeya: with a smug grin “Oh, come on, Diluc. Always so uptight, aren’t we? It’s like you can’t handle even the slightest bit of banter.”

Diluc: scowling, arms crossed “You mistake banter for recklessness, as usual. Some of us actually care about responsibility.”

Kaeya: chuckling “Responsibility? Or are you just afraid to admit you’re wrong for once?”

Diluc: voice rising “I’m not—”

Reader: stepping between them “Alright, that’s enough! You two, seriously?”

The tension pauses as both Kaeya and Diluc blink in surprise at Reader, who is now standing between them, hands on hips like an exasperated parent.

Reader: pointing at Kaeya “Kaeya, stop poking the bear. You know exactly how to get under his skin, and you’re doing it on purpose.”

Kaeya: feigning innocence “Who, me? I would never.”

Reader: narrowing their eyes “Don’t even try it. I know you better than that.”

Kaeya: grinning slightly, but raising his hands in mock surrender “Fine, fine, I’ll behave.”

Reader: turning to Diluc “And you, Diluc, you need to stop taking everything so personally. Kaeya’s always going to be like this, and you can’t keep letting him get to you every time.”

Diluc: grumbling “I wouldn’t have to react if he didn’t act like such a—”

Reader: cutting him off “Uh-uh! No more bickering. I’ve seen toddlers with better conflict resolution skills.”

The watching knights, including Jean and Lisa, can’t help but exchange amused looks. Lisa chuckles softly, folding her arms as she watches.

Lisa: “I have to say, I’m impressed. It’s not often anyone manages to shut them both up.”

Jean: smiling softly “They really do act like children sometimes. It’s nice that someone can handle them.”

Amber: whispering “I should take notes for next time…”

Reader: giving both Kaeya and Diluc a firm look “Now, you’re both going to stop this nonsense and behave like the adults you are, or so help me, I’ll separate you two like a couple of squabbling kids.”

Kaeya: leaning in with a smirk “You mean like a time-out?”

Reader: deadpan “Yes. Exactly like a time-out. One of you in Mondstadt, the other at the Winery. Don’t tempt me.”

Diluc: sighing, pinching the bridge of his nose “Fine. But this doesn’t mean I agree with him.”

Reader: rolling their eyes “I don’t expect miracles. I’ll settle for peace.”

As the argument dies down, Kaeya shoots a wink at Reader, clearly amused by the whole situation, while Diluc gives a small, reluctant nod of thanks for ending the confrontation before it escalated further.

Kaeya: teasing “I think you’d make a good babysitter, Reader. You’re a natural at this.”

Reader: smirking “I’m only like this with certain people.”

Diluc: grumbling under his breath “I don’t need babysitting.”

Reader: with a playful smile “Uh-huh, sure. Keep telling yourself that.”

The watching knights are barely holding back their laughter now. Jean coughs into her hand to hide her amusement, while Lisa doesn’t even try to hide her grin.

Lisa: to Jean “I think we should just let Reader handle them from now on. They seem to have the magic touch.”

Jean: smiling “I think you’re right.”

As the knights disperse, the lingering tension between Kaeya and Diluc fades, but not without one last exchange of smirks and glares between the two. Thanks to Reader, though, the situation is diffused—at least for today.

.

.

.

Masterlist

[rogueddie]

Unexpected Delights T | 468 words Prompt for @steddielovemonth: Love is Co-Parenting

Having a child of their own is something that Eddie and Steve have been talking about for a long time. It's something that Eddie had thought Steve would push for more. Instead, he accepts Eddies explanation with ease.

It makes Eddie feel... uncomfortable, for some reason. But he knows he was right to tell Steve "I'm not ready yet".

Being a father is a big responsibility, something Steve and Eddie are both aware of. They both know that, if they are to adopt or have a surrogate, they both need to be completely on board.

Only, Eddie had thought Steve would push more.

He's not sure why he feels disappointed.

"Why not have a trial run?" Robin suggests, when Eddie turns to her for advice. "I can talk to Dustin. You could both work together to babysit Evie and see if it's something you could do."

"Oh, you're a genius."

Steve is just as excited by the idea, but especially when Eddie reluctantly admits that he has been thinking about potentially having a child with Steve.

Plus, an excuse to spend time with Dustin and Suzies newborn, alone, is an idea that Steve finds perfect.

Dustin, tired from work and daycare, is also thrilled at the idea.

"Maybe we'll finally sleep through the night."

"Yikes," Eddie winces. "That bad?"

Dustin laughs, patting him on the shoulder. "You're about to find out!"

Despite how they prepare, with Dustin's warnings and Steve banking on his previous babysitting knowledge, the first day is rough.

It's hard to find a rhythm, to settle into the new routine. They have a lot of false starts, until finally...

"She's so cute," Steve whispers, rocking the baby in his arms.

Eddie wishes he could take a photo of them. He settles for stepping closer, hands settling on Steve's hips.

"Yeah," he whispers, pressing a light kiss to Steve's forehead. "You two are the cutest thing I've ever seen."

"Shut up," Steve rolls his eyes.

"We should definitely look for a surrogate. The only thing that would make this sight better is if you were holding a little mini Harrington."

"I don't know... I think we could handle some mini Munsons too."

"Ok, we're not having six kids."

"Wh- hey, I wasn't thinking six! Like... maybe four."

"Jesus Christ."

"I'm joking, I only really want two. So they can have a sibling."

"Oh. Yeah, that..." Eddie looks down at little Evie. "Yeah. It'd be nice to have a sibling."

"Two kids, then?"

"Two."

Steve beams.

Eddie is sure that he's struggling to keep still, practically vibrating with joy.

"We're a good team," he finally manages to say. Eddie worries that his cheeks will start to ache with how wide his smile is. "Great babysitters, at least."

"And we'll be even better dads."

"You think?"

"I know."

[reptileyan]

Transferrable Skills (naga x reader)

For Anyshiptober 🎃

Cw: breeding, dubcon, intox via venom, being shoved underwater, brief vomiting, bitching back and forth. I love this stupid naga he's a weird little obnoxious cunt

You do not like snakes, and you like them much less than usual today. Running isn't fun, it hurts and makes you louder, and you should have never tried to better yourself by hiking like some kind of nature loving idiot. Most people who love nature are smart and pack well and can read maps and research for warnings and this results in them surviving. Most hippies succeed in self betterment, and don't get hunted down by snakes that speak human language. You can decide whether or not this really happened later.

The quickmud is very inconvenient, and reminds you of that time you nearly died as a kid. You certainly haven't gotten any brighter, just less optimistic.

The snake is much bigger than you, hurriedly slithering up to the edge of the quickmud. It can smile very wide. Good contender for the villian of a children's movie, back when they were hot and interesting and irredeemable.

It preens before deigning to speak to you. You want to say shit that would get you cancelled on a snake version of the internet, as soon as you can think of anything that isn't a plea for help or screaming. It speaks with a drawl.

"Hi."

You sink another inch.

"Hi."

You fucking hate nature and you love concrete so much. What you wouldn't give for an Arby's parking lot.

It coils up and waits.

You don't like strategy games. You like naps. This is very far from napping. You sink a few more inches and develop an interest in playing along.

"You gonna let me drown?"

It smiles. Naga. Not a snake. Sort of a snake, but they're called Naga if they're this big and sentient. Very useful information.

"Yeah, probably."

"Cunt."

It spits when it laughs, coiling up on itself as its eyes water. You would be endeared were it not letting you die in mud.

It rubs its eyes. Its smile seems genuine, if condescending.

"You're funny!"

You hate. It. Here. You are going to stage a coup at whatever corporation has a lot of bulldozers, and then you will personally bulldoze every forest. You'll live in domes with fake air and fake everything and it'll be amazing.

"Yeah. I get that a lot. From children. Babies. Five year olds. Who think swear words are funny."

It studies you, sighing after the laughter leaves. It has soft, chubby cheeks. It looks huggable, not sleek and vicious. Cool. Fascinating. Your last thought is gonna be about snake lust.

"You have children?"

"No-can we have this conversation somewhere else?"

It has a stupid face, with stupid markings, moons and planets and freckle constellations, gold scales interrupting the cerulean. Its grin is back.

"Nope! I'm comfy here."

"Happy for you. Wouldn't want you to be uncomfy."

"Me either!" Chipper fucking bitch. "You were saying, about babies?"

You draw out your words. "Theeee otheeeer huuuumansssss payyyyy meeeeee-" you sink a bit and become more interested in hurrying "to babysit their kids sometimes a lot so they can do drugs will you PLEASE get me-"

"So you're useful!"

"Yeah, I bet that's a novel concept. Get me out."

It tilts its head. "What's a drug?"

You are unlocking new emotions that have no name, so you give them names. Rage two. Fear five. "You'll never know if i drown."

"Eh, there are other humans."

You blink. Then faceplant in the mud.

And just like that you're dragged ashore, into a nearby river, your face aggressively dunked into the water. It hisses and spits, eventually managing words.

"That mud is TOXIC, if you swallow too much you can DIE-what's wrong with you?!?! The other humans never get near here because it's a death trap-"

You cough, and vomit, and swipe deliriously up at it. "Are snake bitches scarce around here or something? Gotta resort to stray humans?"

You're shoved underwater, pinching at it until it pulls you back up, vomiting more river sludge and water. The hissing resumes as you're carried back to its den, deep underground, beneath walls you could never climb unassisted. You're stripped of your clothes and shoved into a hot spring, the reason the cave is so warm-it's huge, multiple chambers flow into each other.

"You said you were useful."

"I said I was useful to the humans who paid me, and then I elected to eat mud because i was bored of drowning."

It takes a deep breath. Lets it out slowly. "Do you remember why you were useful?"

"The mud tasted bad."

"You. Are. Useful. Because of this." It points at your tits. "And this." It flicks your cunt, hard. You yelp, draw back. It continues.

"Naga are rare."

"Aw man."

It grits its teeth. "I have no mate."

"Wonder why, you are so charming."

You dodge under the water, and manage to avoid the first strike. The second lands, and you're pulled ashore, the rocks scraping at you until you're held in the air.

"I want a mate. You know how to care for children."

"Human ones. Human. Do you know how biology-"

"No, I'm stupid. Of course I know there are differences, but you'll figure it out, because you have to."

"Great. So where are the kids?"

It looks at your eyes, squints, then bursts out laughing. "Guess I'm gonna roll the dice on having dumbasses like you. It's almost cute."

"I'm adorable." You pose in midair.

"You're crazy."

You nod solemnly. "Babies where?"

It carries you to a soft pile of... discarded clothing, leaves, blankets. "Humans leave shit behind."

"You're defo gonna eat me, huh?"

"Nah."

It grabs your head, tilts your neck, and bites. You feel floaty. Tired. Needy. You reach for the pretty, weird thing in front of you.

"Was-i-i wanna. Wanna nap ummm-oh hi! Like your colors!"

It rubs its snout against you. "That's better. Dummy. Thanks for getting lost. You've been super ungrateful though, i saved your life and you didn't even say thank you."

Your eyes tear up. "Mm sorry! That's not nice."

It nods and pulls you close, rolling onto its back. "I know baby, you were very mean."

Tears start to fall down your cheeks. "Din mean it, mm sorry, pretty, like you."

"That's good to hear. Don't tell yourself, but I like you too. Cute little squishy human. Well-fed like me."

You wiggle slightly and nod in agreement. "Mm squishy. Like you. Good?"

It pets your cheek, down your chest and stomach, weighing your belly in its hands. "Mmmhm. You know why?"

You think really hard. "Pillow?"

"No sweetheart. Although i'll take it under consideration. You're perfect for what I need, you'll be so cozy for my babies. You're gonna be their mommy and keep them safe growing in your fat little tummy, how does that sound?"

You brighten. "Good! Like babies! Cute an take care em. Even when they bite n throw up."

"Good little mama."

It rubs you against its bulging slit, groaning as its cock slips out and starts to force into you. You whine and squirm, but you want to be good! You want to have the babies it promised!

You make enough noise that it starts to worry. "Hey, if it's too much you gotta-"

You shriek as he starts to lift you off. "NO! No, want more, in please, want to be full, babies, yours, all warm!"

"Oh." It flushes, bright red, beautiful under the markings. You plant a messy kiss on its snout. "Mwah. Babies now. An harder please, so big, ss nice, better than toys."

It doesn't know what to say. It hugs you, tight, tearing up. "Thank you."

You nod sagely. "Im very good responsible. With babies. An kissing. An you're cute. I like funny evil reptiles. Even if you're nice, like some kinda loser. Fuck me now please."

You are lifted up and slammed down, your new mate wide-eyed as it watches you take and take and take, only complaining and screaming a bit about how big it is, and pouting when it slows. You're flooded with cum, head back, digging your nails in, finally telling it thank you.

You fall asleep full of cum, its flare lodged securely inside of you. You insisted, just in case. You like being full, you want its babies.

It's happy to give you what you want, drowsy and warm. You were watched from the moment you entered the forest. You were never in any danger, from drowning or anything else. Dumbass human. You look beautiful full. You'll be mad as hell when you wake up, simultaneously thrilled to discover your fate, to be a beloved mate and toy and baby mama.

[princessbrunette]

imagine meeting rafe by babysitting for toddler!wheezie?????

-🦭

stop this is sooo cute i love writing big brother rafe with toddler wheeze :(

𐙚🍼⋆.˚♡

he’s more pissed than anything at first, wondering why on earth his father didn’t trust him to be a responsible adult and care for his little sister now that ward was away on business more times than not. the last thing rafe wanted was a stranger snooping around and weaselling their way into the benefits that came along with being a cameron.

his mind changed when he saw just how pretty you are, and not just that — how sweet and polite too. he hangs out in the doorway watching you play with his sister, trying to put on an expression that showcased scepticism but it always softened to intrigue. wheezie loved you, and he couldn’t even question why.

the boy wanders in, watching you knelt beside the curly haired toddler in your cute little summer dress and big smile. “soooo, i’m thinking… we should go and get ice-cream!” you grin, emphasising the last part to catch her attention. it works, and she claps excitedly with a squeal.

“i’ll drive us.” rafe suddenly pipes up and your head spins to him, blinking a few times in surprise.

“oh, really?” you smile politely, if not a little awkwardly at the sudden appearance of the child’s oldest brother who you’d seen floating around.

“well i’ve got nothing to do… and i figured i should get to know the person spending all this time with my little sister.” he shrugs, pulling his hands out his pockets to swing his car keys round his finger.

“yes, of course.” you submit to the idea, clambering to your feet as wheezie runs towards him.

“raaa—e!” she yells happily, pummelling into his legs before he bends down to swoop her up, planting her on his hip.

“hey, kiddo.” he pinches her nose briefly making her sniff and giggle. you grab your purse and send rafe a kind smile, letting him lead the way to his car. he hands you the kid, which feels odd and parental of the two of you and he quickly sets up the car seat in his car, letting you fasten wheezie inside. you hover by the passenger door, unsure of whether or not he’d rather you sit in the back. “go ahead.” he nods obviously and you climb in, placing your hands in your lap, making one sided conversation with wheezie to settle some awkwardness.

the two of you chat, rafe asking most of the questions about where you’re from and what you did before babysitting — the polite interrogation feeling like another interview for the position, but you didn’t mind — it was understandable that the current man of the house would wanna know who was practically living in it with him all of a sudden.

things get more comfortable as the two of you get chatting, walking into the icecream parlour as a three. he didn’t know he’d like the feeling so much, thinking on it as he glances at you pointing out the different colours of icecream behind the glass to his little sister. he’s fishing in his wallet as he does so, paying for the three of you. it made him feel… good. important. he hadn’t much thought of having children before, he knew he wanted to one day but it seemed like a far away thought. having a cute little baby, and a pretty gentle girl by his side calmed him, gave him the sense of authority he was looking for.

he has to remind himself not to place a hand on your lower back when you walk to the little table, chuckling himself when you let wheezie take her own spoon and messily feed herself.

“good job honey!” you coo as she manages to get some into her mouth before offering you the saliva covered spoon. “ohhh, no thank you!”

rafe decided he must have you, and seeing as you were now living in his house, ward being on a long trip — it would make things a lot easier. his own practice family, with you.

𐙚🍼⋆.˚♡

[ancha-aus]

RealAge AU Drabble - Parentalbond Dust

I am back :3 Another drabble for the RealAge AU (Thanks @spotaus as always for starting this treat by treating me to the first prompt that got this ball rolling)

First drabble Prev drabble Next drabble

Remember how in the last drabble I uploaded i mentioned those parentalbonds? (honestly if you read my drabbles in order these before things won't make ANY kind of sense... anyway!)

I had been thinking about how all of them bond with they new tiny boss and finally settles on how. The question then was. Who goes first?

I decided to go in order of who bonded with Nightmare first :3

So, big surprise. Dust. (everyone was surprised by this)

Warnings as always, unedited and unbeta'ed. We are here for a good and fun time.

Slight warning for Ghost/hallucination Papyrus being rude and mean and intrusive thoughts.

------------

Dust can admit that Nightmare is fast. Dust is just faster, by a lot.

As soon as Nightmare shifts Dust has an arm around him and drags him back to his side.

Nightmare glares at him, and it would have been terrifying and effective.

If Nightmare wasn't tiny.

Fuck DUst is still not over how TINY his boss is now.

Can Dust even still call him boss? That would be weird. Kiler tends to call Nightmare Tiny Boss now but Dust isn't quite set on a name yet.

Nightmare grumbles nad glares to the side once it becomes clear once again that Dust isn't going to get intimidated.

Nightmare glances at him before crossing his arms as he looks to the side "This is stupid."

Dust nods "I agree." Dust did not want to be here just watching Nightmare and keeping him from wandering and getting lost.

A cackle and then a whisper Really? First kidnaping and now keeping him a prisoner? How low you have sunk. Keeping a child captured and locked away.

Dust's hand forms a fist as he tries to ignore the muttering. They just need Nightmare to see he can trust them. That is all. That takes time. The chackle just chackles on.

Nightmare shoots him a look "It is stupid. I don't need supervision. I am fine on my own."

Dust goes to nod before blinking and shooting him a look "Yeah no. Nice try. I am staying right here."

Nightmare looks beyond annoyed but it is justified that one of them watches over him. Mostly because Nightmare had already managed to almost escape three times.

Look, it has been an hectic week since they euh... found Nightmare again.

Even more laughter that no one else hears Oh? That is what you call it now? That is what you call stalking a child? Following him everywhere? Finding out where he feels safest and surprising him there? Hah! Found! You are a liar and you even lie to yourself.

Dust glares harder at the dark wall as he pulls his knees up and leans on those as he watches the wall, still being a physical barrier between Nightmare and the door.

Nightmare glares at him but Dust just keeps glaring at the shedwall. Waiting. Hoping one of the others will come to relieve him of this babysitting duty. He hates it. He feels useless and stuck.

A huff Wow? Really? You decided to capture him and now you are annoyed you have to watch your prisoner? And even better the one you captured was the one to save you before? You really are thankless and impossible to please. You will never be happy or content and you don't deserve to feel other of those things.

Dust takes another deep breath. He needs a distraction. But what?!

Dust takes out his phone and scrolls through what he has on there. He sees a few movies and gets an idea.

He needs to wait while the others get supplies anyway. Cross is getting information about the multiverse, Horror is getting them food and Killer is getting them overall supplies.

Which means they should still be busy for a while.

Dust pauses as he shoots Nightmare a look. Nightmare had just been sitting there staring at his own feet as he wiggles his feet a bit. Distracted for a bit.

Dust grins as he reaches for Nightmare and quickly grabs him.

Nightmare immediantly freezes for a moment before glaring "What?!"

Dust grins and just turns him around and his old hoody that Nightmare had taken and stolen ages ago. and as Nightmare has his arms crossed he puts the hoody on him. He yelps but Dust doens't give him time to try and get his arms in the right sleeves. Instead Dust ties those together.

He thinks for a moment before grabbing his scarf and using that to tie up the slippery skeleton.

Dust takes a step back to watch his handy work and can't help but snort.

Nightmare looks shocked down at his state. The hoody already making it harder for him to move and now the scarf kept him even more from moving. The problem was. With Nightmare just being tiny and looking like a babybones... He looks plainly adorable. Fuck Dust kinda wished he had made a bow instead of a knot but he has a mission.

Dust nods and looks at Nightmare "Don't move. I am going to grab some food." He turns and leaves the shed.

It should take Nightmare at least a little while to escape that situation. And Nightmare hadn't tried another teleport after he butchered the last one and got them all thrown into a river. Which means that Dust doubts he will try another one soon.

Dust follows the road and by memory finds the pizza place they walked by not too long ago. He only has to wait for a little while before a delivery boy goes by on bike. He kicks off the guy and snatches the bag. Dust is already in the bushes again before the human has time to form a completely sentence.

Dust has to take a bit of a longer way back to make sure he doesn't go over the road. But as he cuts through backyards and gardens he can't help but feel a bit anxious. What if Nightmare escapes? How is he going to explain that.

By the time he is by the shed again he is close to shaking. He opens it and snorts as Nightmare seems to have fallen over. Less funny is the fact he has almost wiggled his way out of his trappings.

Dust puts the bag to the side and silently joins Nightmare's side "And? Is it working?"

Nightmare freezes before a mutter "I hate you."

That.

Dust isn't sure how to explain how much that hurts.

A sneer Really? Are your poor feelings hurt? By just that? What? Are you sad your so-called boss finally hates you? After all the disappointment and betrayal? And yet you feel sad? You truly are nothing but disgusting and disapointing trash.

Dust ignores it as he pulls Nightmare back upright and undoes the scarf binding and unknots the sleeves. Dust has already helped Nightmare with getting on of his arms into the right sleeve before Dust realises what he is doing.

Dust freezes and Nightmare ignores him as he quickly finishes dressing himself. After which Nightmare glances at him with an expecting look.

Dust instead just sits down on his spot on the ground. Opens the bag and fishes out the food. Oh nice. two pizzas instead of one. He lays both open near him before spotting some weird shake things, three of them. Dust shrugs again and places them near them. Next he grabs Nightmare again and pulls him right by his side as he opens his phone and scrolls through the movies.

Dust very quickly realises he deosn't really have movies without a high rating on his phone.Dust isn't even sure how far Nightmare's mind is at the moment.

Dust knows that Nightmare knows who they are. But Dust doens't know how old Nightmare is mentally at the moment. It isn't like Nightmare is sharing any of that information with them at the moment but Dust thinks he is at least a child again. He just also still has his adult form's memories and that is causing a bit of a disconnect.

Dust sighs and looks at Nightmare "Do you like horror movies?"

Nightmare shoots him a suspicious look before answering "I don't dislike them. They can be..." a frown as Ngihtmare thinks for a while before answering with some difficulty "interesting."

That was another thing that is slightly adorable. Nightmare is trying to still speak like he used to before but it seems that some of his knowledge has disappeared after regaining his true body.

Dust nods as he puts on the horror movie. It is one he thinks is okay even after seeing it four times. And only one of those four was because Dust had wanted to watch it.

He presses play and the movie starts.

Nightmare at first tries to keep his distance but it is a matter of time before he is focussed fully on the movie.

Dust grabs some food and eats it. He makes sure it push some towards Nightmare including one of the drinks.

The movie plays and they watch as some dude bro guy walks through the froest. Shouting about how he isn't scared and to come get him!

"... Why?"

Dust blinks and looks at Nightmare. Nightmare stares at him.

Dust looks back at his phone and the now paused movie "Why the guy is screaming? Mostly he is stupid?"

Nightmare frowns beofre looking away "No. I mean... Why.... this?"

Dust looks at the pizza and his phone "I just wanted to watch a movie?"

More frustration on Nightmare's face before he sighs. He then just looks back at the phone with a resigned expression. "okay."

Dust hates that. No. That isn't right. Nightmare doesn't give up and certainly doesn't give up getting answers to questions he has. Dust doesn't press play and looks at Nightmare "What why?"

Ngihtmare glances to the side. To all their things. "You don't... want to be here... with me. Why..."

Dust frowns "I told you? To make sure you don't escape."

More frustration on that tiny face and Ngihtmare looks away "it's not..." another sigh "whatever. When will you kill me?"

dead silence.

Dust turns sharply "What?!"

Nightmare shrugs "I figured... I wanne know."

Dust stares at Nightmare "What the hell? No we don't want you dead?! Why would we go out of our way to find you just to hurt and kill you?!"

Nightmare sits very still before shrugging again "it is the normal thing... normally."

The book. The fucking story. Fuck! He is a fucking idiot!

Nightmare is a child again! Nightmare is in the middle of his fucking trauma! To him the trauma happened days ago! Of course he thinks they would hurt him. That is what always happens.

How long has Nightmare thought that was the only reason anyone ever came to him? How long had a six year old have to fear the sound of someone approaching.

Dust looks away "We... aren't going to kill you... or hurt you." but... why would he beleive his words? Why would he believe anything any of them say after they arleady betrayed him once?

"okay."

It didn't sound like an okay in the way that he heard and believed what Dust said. it was an okay in the sense of a child being afraid to disagree.

Fuck.

Dust isn't sure how to... how to fix this mess. The mess he had partly created. He isn't even sure this can be fixed...

Dust glances back at him and speaks quieter "I mean it... we aren't going to hurt you. We don't want that." wait... he never... "I am sorry."

a long silence but he forces more out "we shouldn't have left. I shouldn't have left. I just... figured it wasn't my place anymore. I was wrong. I am sorry i left you." and it won't happen again.

Even just saying those things. Apologising. Dust feels lighter. It feels good. He needed Nightmare ot hear that Dust now realises.

Ngihtmare doens't say anything about it but does relax a tiny bit next to him. A very very fragile and tiny show of trust and Dust wants to grab it with both hands but he does't know how!

For now he turns the movie on again and makes sure the babybones is near him and eating and drinking.

Dust isn't even watching the movie anymore. He just listens out in case there is anyone who will try to hurt Nightmare or tempt this uneasy peace they have managed to create.

THe movie plays on and Dsut suddenly feels a weight against him. He turns and stares. Because Nightmare is asleep while leaning against him. Out like a light.

It doesn't even surprise Dust. As Dust doubts that Nightmare slept at all in this last week. Maybe even not before they took him with them.

Dust can't help but notice the very dark marks under those sockets. clear sighs of lack of sleep.

Dust moves slowly and carefully as he picks Nightmare up and puts him in his lap. Fuck he is freezing. Dust wraps his own hoody around him and it helps him relax.

He is safe. He is asleep. And while getting Ngihtmare to trust them again will be a long time and healing will be even longer... For now Dust is happy with his arms full of babybones.

-----

First drabble Prev drabble Next drabble

[journey-to-the-attic]

3rd anniversary req 21: [DDVD] levi, satan, beel / babysitting

ao3 link

note: i tried to incorporate most of what the request form said - hope you're happy with this, anon! this one's just precious <3

∎ ∎ ∎ ∎ ∎

“Behave,” Lucifer says sternly, and shuts the door.

Levi exchanges a look with Satan. For some reason, he gets the feeling that Lucifer was talking to them, and not the toddler clinging to the back of Satan’s leg.

He cranes his neck down. IK is already staring wistfully at the door. Satan would probably compare her to a lost kitten; Levi thinks the look is more akin to a sad Lotan.

“Beel’s in the kitchen,” He says to Satan in an undertone, and the two of them hastily adjourn to three-sevenths of a family meeting.

Couldn't Lucifer have picked any other day for whatever fancy reservation he's made for their date? It's clear he doesn't entirely trust the only three babysitters available. He knows this because Lucifer added all three of them to a hastily-made, very secret group chat a few hours ago - to warn them of what would happen if anything went wrong. 

The three of them sit silently around the kitchen table for about five minutes. Finally, Satan clears his throat, and looks at Levi.

“You’re the oldest here,” He says. “You should know what to do.”

Levi grimaces. “Well, I don’t.”

The three of them look to IK, who is sitting solemnly in the head chair. None of them know where Lucifer keeps her booster seat, so she can only just about see over the edge of the table. (IK usually protests about having to use it, so she seems happy with the situation.)

“It can’t be that hard,” Satan mutters, mostly to himself. “If Lucifer can handle it.”

Usually that means no one else can, Levi thinks, but wisely chooses not to say this out loud. But it can’t be that different to what we usually do… right? I mean, I guess we don’t really do the proper care stuff. That’s Zhao’s thing. We just hang out with her…

“Pom-pom,” IK mumbles.

Satan blinks, then tilts his head to the side and leans forward. “Sorry?”

“Pom-pom,” IK repeats, louder this time.

“I don’t… what’s ‘pom-pom’? Is it one of your toys?”

“Hmph,” IK says, then hops down from her chair and toddles out of the kitchen with such authority that none of them think to stop her.

It takes Beel’s phone going off to bring them back to reality. Lucifer has sent them, rather aptly, a parenting book. Satan decides to stay behind to read it while Beel and Levi are sent to wrangle the kid - and figure out what she’s actually after.

IK hasn’t made it far. She still can’t get up the stairs on her own, nor can she open any of the doors without full-body ramming into them, so she’s only managed to make it a little way down the corridor.

“Pom-pom,” She insists when they catch up with her.

“We don’t have pom-pom,” Levi says a little breathlessly, even though he really didn’t go that fast. “Can’t you just tell us what you want?”

IK cannot, apparently. She leads them on a merry chase in about five circles around the ground floor (she kicks every time they try to pick her up) before finally sitting down in a huff in the middle of the living room. Levi’s secretly a little grateful for the chance to rest his legs - this is the most he’s moved in the last month.

“The floor’s cold,” Beel says patiently, attempting to pick her up. IK manages to wiggle cleanly out of his hands and goes straight back to the ground. “Come on, let’s go sit somewhere comfy, okay?”

“Pom-pom,” IK mumbles, beginning to look a little tearful. The look on her face makes it clear: if Lucifer was here, he’d totally know what to do by now. 

It’s, quite frankly, unfair. He’s already good at everything else. Levi had really expected childcare to be the one thing to trip him up.

Situations like these really call for Asmo. Once again, Levi finds himself wondering why in hell he’s here.

“IK,” He tries - unable to muster one of Asmo’s many pet names and resorting instead to sounding as pathetic as possible, in hopes that she’ll take pity on him. “IK, c’mon. Wanna come see Henry? You like Henry.”

Beel tries to pick her up again. IK gives him a severe, uncannily Lucifer-like look, then stubbornly slips down until she's lying flat on her back.

“We need some blocks,” Satan announces, walking into the room with far too much confidence. “Do we have blocks?”

“Of course we don’t,” Levi says miserably, about two minutes away from lying on the floor himself. “Why would we?”

“Then I will go find some blocks,” Satan says decisively, and walks straight back out again.

IK stays on the ground, staring blankly up into the ceiling. She doesn’t look as if she’s throwing a tantrum so much as she looks like she’s lost all hope in the world. It kind of hurts his heart.

He glances up at Beel. His brother’s brow is deeply furrowed in thought. After a moment, he sits down, and carefully pushes his palm underneath IK’s head. If she won’t get up, at least he can give her a pillow.

Satan comes back with a crate that he says Lucifer’s been keeping in his study (which is supposed to be locked right now, but that’s on Lucifer for not using a strong enough charm), and produces a set of patterned blocks that he attempts to gently encourage IK to play with. All IK does is hold them limply.

“Maybe she needs a nap?” Beel suggests, but IK doesn’t seem to like that idea. In fact, after hearing the word, she appears to start deliberately keeping her eyes open for as long as possible out of spite.

Satan looks something up on his phone - steadfastly refusing to call Lucifer - then abruptly hurries off again. He comes back with some cardboard, a ball of wool, and a pair of scissors. IK lifts her head to watch him with interest as he sets about snipping and tying. Finally:

“There you are,” Satan announces triumphantly, and presents IK with a little green ball of fluff. “A pom-pom.”

IK sits up and holds it blankly. Then she shakes her head.

The dismay on Satan’s face would be funny if Levi didn’t feel terrible for him. “No? Is it the wrong colour?”

“Pom-pom,” IK says sadly.

“Fine…” He reaches out to take it back, only for IK to snatch the pom-pom-that-isn't-the-right-pom-pom back. “Hey. I thought you didn’t want it.”

“Mine,” She mumbles stubbornly, and dodges his next grab as well. “Mine!”

“But it’s not your pom-pom, is it?” Satan asks, now beginning to grin. “Come on, give it back.”

“No!” IK scrambles to her knees, then shuffles to hide behind Beel’s broad back. “Mine!”

“I made it! Give it back!”

“NO!”

Clutching the pom-pom, IK jumps to her feet - and, wobbling unsteadily from side to side, full-on sprints out of the living room.

Satan reacts first, almost as if he were expecting it. Hauling himself to his feet, he practically gallops after her, leaving Beel and Levi in stunned silence, still sitting helplessly on the floor.

“I didn’t know she could go that fast,” Levi says after a moment. “Do you think Mammon’s been teaching her?”

“We should probably go after them…” Beel glances down at the crate. “Should we bring the blocks?”

Satan has cornered IK in the library when they catch up with them. Even as they sidle awkwardly through the door, she looks sharply around the room, spots the still-ajar door to Lucifer’s office, and promptly zooms inside. Satan, of course, doesn’t hesitate to do the same.

Levi follows just in time to see him double-evade her around the desk, then shoot forward and sweep her cleanly off the ground - “Got you!”

“No!” IK insists, even though she’s giggling so loudly that the word is barely discernible.

“No? Certainly looks like you’re— ow!”

Something has flown out of Lucifer’s desk and propelled itself directly into Satan’s face - so hard that he’s shoved backwards into a cabinet and knocks a bottle off its stand. IK does not help things grabbing a fistful of his hair to keep herself steady.

“What the—” On closer inspection, the thing that came out of the desk appears to be a little stuffed pigeon. As Satan spins around, attempting to regain his bearings, it folds its wings and jabs its little felt beak at his eyes.

“What do we do?!” Levi yelps, hands braced to do something, though he hasn’t the faintest idea what.

IK isn’t giggling so much as she is wailing now - Satan, though still reeling, has enough sense to pass her off to Levi before attempting to wave the pigeon off. His arms windmill around so wildly that it’s only a matter of time before he—

“Oof!” Levi manages to shield the back of IK’s head with his hand, but his own nose isn’t so lucky. “Watch where your hands are going!”

“I’m getting attacked!” Satan snarls, and looks one peck away from zapping the pigeon into dust. “Do something!”

“What am I supposed to do?!”

Beel, at this point finally stepping into the situation, clearly has more wits about him than either of them. He surveys the situation, steps forward, and plucks the pigeon cleanly from the air.

It goes straight to ferociously attacking its fingers. Without the momentum of flight on its side, though, its blows are virtually harmless. At this, Levi hesitantly lowers his hand from IK’s head.

“This definitely has Lucifer written all over it,” Satan grunts, a hand pressed over his eye. “Smug bas… ahem. Am I bleeding?”

Levi leans over and peers at his face for a moment. “Nah, you’re good.”

He lowers his hand, but he doesn’t look any less mutinous. “Who gave him the idea of putting toy security in his desk?”

“I don’t think it’s security,” Beel says, holding the pigeon’s head still with one hand and reading its label with the other. “I think it’s a toy for IK. See?”

The company name does check out. That doesn’t explain why it comes to life and attacks people, though.

“Well, it’s not a spell I’ve seen anywhere before, so don’t look at me,” Satan grumbles.

Beel inspects the plush pigeon for another moment, then (still carefully holding it still) holds it out to IK. She looks frightened - but, under his reassuring gaze, slowly reaches out, and bumps a little fist to its beak.

The pigeon immediately stills. Levi would’ve thought he’d just hallucinated the whole thing if it weren’t for the red mark on Satan’s forehead.

“Oh,” says Satan himself, realisation dawning. “He enchanted it. That’s…”

He doesn’t finish the sentence, but clearly he isn’t angry anymore. Beel gently presses the pigeon into IK’s arms, and it comes briefly to life again to tuck its head lovingly against her cheek.

“That isn’t an easy enchantment,” Satan murmurs, wiping his brow. “He’s probably not done testing it.”

“Looks like it works fine to me,” Levi says, watching IK attempt to feed the pigeon her green pom-pom. “Do you like it, IK?”

“Mmm,” IK says, flapping the pigeon’s wings. The pom-pom falls out of her arms and lands softly on the floor.

She notices its absence after a moment and makes a sound of dismay. Satan huffs, then stoops to pick it up for her.

“At least you like it,” He mutters, passing it back to her. “Are you sure it’s not your pom-pom?”

IK shakes her head seriously. She gazes at him for a moment, then mumbles something and makes a gesture in his general direction. Levi obligingly leans forward.

“What now?” Satan sighs, but ducks down to her level anyway. “Are you going to hit me, too?”

Far from it. IK pats his cheek until he stops frowning, then stretches up to the red mark on his brow and gives it a kiss.

“...oh.”

If Levi didn’t know better, he’d say Satan was dangerously close to tears. His brother clears his throat and offers a slightly shaky smile. “Thanks.”

IK hums, then pulls both pigeon and pom-pom tight to her chest, and tucks her head under Levi’s chin. Before he can stop himself, he lets out a sharp squeak, like a poorly-oiled door.

“I think it’s time for a nap now,” Beel says, watching her with a little smile. “Let’s go.”

“Okay,” He agrees, voice quivering, and follows him out of the office. Satan stays behind briefly to shut the drawer the pigeon flew out of, but doesn’t bother re-locking the door.

The crate of toys is still sitting in the middle of the library. Levi gingerly lowers himself into an armchair and lets IK figure out how she wants to sleep; Beel sits down on the floor directly opposite him and contents himself with watching her.

Satan stands silently for a while, then settles beside the toy crate and starts methodically stacking the blocks himself. Levi watches him, too afraid of disturbing IK to move.

“She’ll probably be hungry when she wakes up,” says Beel, setting his chin on his knees. “I think there are some strawberries left in the kitchen.”

“We need something more substantial than fruit.” Satan sets the final block on his tower, then promptly knocks the whole thing over and starts again. “Sandwiches, maybe…”

IK isn't asleep for long before she abruptly startles awake again. Levi opens his mouth to say something sappy that'd usually come out of Asmo - then quickly realises that something's up. 

"What?" Satan asks, sitting up. 

"I don't..."

IK is practically ramrod-straight in his arms. Her eyes are open, but she stares directly ahead of her, far into the distance.

Beel lifts his head and rises to his knees. "Give her here."

Levi can't do anything but acquiesce. IK doesn't respond at first, but almost as soon as she leaves Levi's arms, she takes in a sharp breath, and begins to whimper. 

"Wait—" Instinctively, he tries to snatch her back, but Beel holds firm. "Why... what's wrong?!"

"Nightmare," says Beel shortly. "Belphie used to do the same thing. Can you go get some water?"

It might be the fastest Levi has ever gone to do something. Beel doesn't get IK to drink it - instead, he dips a finger in, and draws a streak across her forehead. At this, IK pauses, eyes wide. 

Satan darts to pick up the pigeon from where it's fallen to the floor. It begins to move as soon as he presses it to IK's face - fluttering its wings and gently grazing its cheek against hers. Levi imagines he hears it coo. 

"Hi," Beel murmurs, doing the same trick with the water again This time, IK makes a sound of protest. "Don't worry, it's gone now."

IK mumbles something and twists away, attempting to wipe her forehead. Beel smiles and does it for her. "...there. That's how you know she's awake again."

"Bad dream, huh?" Satan clicks his tongue sympathetically, then leans down and kisses her forehead - returning the favour from earlier. "Are you still tired?"

She blinks slowly, then makes a quiet noise of affirmation. Beel nods seriously. "You can sleep again, then. We'll keep you safe, okay? Your dad will be home soon."

"Okay," IK whispers, and closes her eyes again.

———

Some time later, Belphie gets home. By that weird twin-sense he shares with Beel, he comes straight to the library. Since IK went back to sleep, Levi's taken a turn on the building blocks, for want of something to do. 

“Do you know where IK’s pom-pom is?” Satan asks without looking up from his book.

“Huh?” Belphie drops his bag with a loud yawn. “What d’you mean, where?”

“She wouldn’t stop asking about it.” Levi precariously sets one tower on top of another. “We didn’t know what it was.”

“Oh, she wants pom-pom? That’s easy,” Belphie says with infuriating nonchalance, then wanders across the room, where IK is beginning to stir in Beel’s lap. “Hey, twinkle-star.”

The three of them can only watch in dawning realisation as Belphie crouches down, shifts seamlessly into demon form, then offers the end of his tail like it’s some kind of toy. IK blinks at him, then scrambles up and makes a grab for the fluffy bit at the end.

“Oh.” says Beel a little weakly. “You were talking about Belphie’s tail the whole time?”

“Pom-pom,” IK says happily.

[reveseke]

Tony, avengers & teen! BW! reader headcanons

Warnings? None really, okay maybe inhumane practice? (Talks about muzzling a teenager for biting problems. It's a suggestion, nothing that big or described tbh.) Also, this encompasses a lot more than just Tony, but I tried to keep it on Tony primarily lol.

A/N: Ssooo this had been requested by 🕷️anon. I'm so sorry this took me so long, but here it is. Also I'm all over the place at first bc background to thinking process and so on, but this was really fun! I hope you like them, I guess? :')

BW! Reader -> black widow (spiderman) reader

Okay, okay, okay okayookaylaku anyways, so I don't think Tony is big on kids (going by the movies) so it's probably Pepper and Fury who rope him into adopting reader!! I firmly believe it was Fury who placed them with the avengers & Tony, specifically to be under Tony's guardianship as a way to manage them & Tony himself bc we know Tony is a reckless fucker himself.

Character personalities based on different Earths; most notable is earth-12041 animation universe specifically, not the comics. Tony is based on the ironman sequel & E12041, Nat mentioned and is based on E12041. Pepper's personal interpretation of motherly leaning and someone's is good at getting along with others easily. Nick is a dick and based on E12041.

Sooo, now that's out of the system here's some of the headcanons :')

— Tony who was against the idea of having BW! Reader under his wing and BW! Reader who was against being in the avengers compound in general bc the avengers are still roped in with the government and so on.

-> take on hostile BW! Reader who is trying to escape every minute they're given. Someone who doesn't trust anybody and has been left to stew in their own mind for too long!!

-> que Tony somewhat sympathizing with Reader after reading into their past & family (especially if the reader didn't really have a good family to begin with.) — however, leaving the past open for now.

— I firmly believe that BW! Reader is as hostile to The Avengers as they would be to the police and such. Quite the anti government & police type of guy.

-> ALSO See the shock of the people Reader was primarily around / from the area under their protection when a journalist or someone on the net offhandly mentions that the young vigilante has been spotted around the avengers !!

-> or they take notice that the home grown vigilante has moved!! See the outrage. (Tbh, BW! Reader is either willingly getting let back to his home streets OR they escape to them.)

— Tony and the avengers are aware of Reader's reputation and I believe there's some safe precautions and jokes about them biting the team members or Tony on an average day (either from Flint or Tony himself) uhh.. yeah.

-> when I say safe precautions, see Fury having his men make a special muzzle for the reader or something alike that limits their erratic behavior.

— Also, Tony would probably be either disappointed or impressed (or both) with the reader regarding their biting habits and ways of handling the situations (which often ends with someone being killed or seriously injured).

-> And him basically being given options (that Tony sees as something that might set Reader off instead.) by Fury on how he should be handled. (See the precaution one over this one lol)

— BW! Reader who does not adjust well into the situation at first, but learns fast what he can do and cannot do and how much he can stretch and bend the rules without getting in trouble.

— Que Tony being impressed how easily he can lose track of the teen as he escaped the tower multiple times without being properly detected.

— BW! Reader who later on adjusts slowly but does no longer harbor outright hate for Tony or the Avengers, maybe to captain in some cases but still.

— tbh It would be funny if they warmed up to Pepper the first time around and Happy is the second person who was put to "babysit" them. (Maybe Nat as well? y'know shared identity name — the two widows [except Reader is probably being referred to with a secondary alias or as a BW junior/ mini BW/ Kid black widow, or just simply "BW" if they bonded. Alllsssooo, Nat helping BW! Reader with training!!])

— Also Tony having no patience or fatherly bone for Reader at first and it's Pepper counseling Tony about it. Short tempered slowly adjusting himself as well. And if BW! Reader is big on tech then random bonding time after Tony figures the teen out about it!!

— I mentioned before hand Fury putting Reader under Tony's guardianship to manage him. And I mean that, Tony's reckless and Fury thinking that having a kid under his wing might, just might actually help him keep tabs on the stubborn millionaire easier.

-> que Reader saying fuck it and refusing to speak or help out Fury on that management assignment.

— also first impressions are kinda poor imo, I don't think BW! Reader would have anything good to say about Fury or Tony. Rude, outright might get volatile.

[honey-minded-hivemind]

I seem to only think about movie quotes today, so have a bunch of Reader shenanigans!

*everyone is busy so the Brotherhood is babysitting, now they are trying to teach Bby how to use their wings from their mutation*

Pietro: Here...We...Go! *throws bby off a very, VERY, tall tower*

*They all run to the edge of and watch Reader continue to fall while Pietro remains unbothered*

Todd: ...They're still not flying.

Pietro: They will.

Fred: ...Still not.

Pietro: It'll happen.

Lance: ...This is a tall tower.

Pietro: That's why it's good.

Todd: You should get them.

Wanda: They're gonna fall to their death.

Pietro: They're taking their time.

*Reader screams*

Wanda: PIETRO!

Pietro: I did that when Dad threw me off the first time.

Lance: They're getting too close to the ground!

Pietro:....You know what? They're not gonna fly.

*Zooms down to the bottom to catch the kid.*

‐-------------------

Logan, about Morph: I don't know what's wrong with me. I can't eat, I can't sleep, I think I'm coming down with something.

Victor, an annoying older brother: Ooooooohh, I know what you have, brother. The L word.

Reader, too ace for this: Yeah! Leprosy!

Victor: No, no, cub. It's four letters, starts with an L, ends with an E.

Reader: *thinking hard* Ahhhh! Lice!

Victor: No-

‐-------------------

Reader, distressed: They think I'm a fascist? But I don't control the railways or the flow of commerce!

‐-------------------

Mystique, being used as a mannequin: It looks awful.

Reader, sewing Rogue's prom dress: That's because it's on you, dear.

‐-------------------

Kitty, to Lance: Would you like to stay for dinner?

Reader, ultimate wingman (when they are told what's going on, at least): WOULD YOU LIKE TO STAY FOREVER?!

‐-------------------

Reader, looking at Erik: You are a sad, strange little man, and you have my pity.

‐-------------------

*Reader and Magneto in a fight where they accidentally trigger a bomb*

Reader, shoving it at Magneto: Merry Christmas!

Erik, pushing it back: It's not Christmas!

Reader, tossing it at him and running away: Happy Hanukkah!

‐-------------------

Reader, about Victor: There's one in every family. And they always manage to ruin special occasions.

Logan: What am I going to do with him?

Reader: He'd make a very handsome throw rug.

Logan: Reader!

Reader: and just think, whenever he gets dirty, you can take him out and beat him!

‐-------------------

Lance: Rob? Tsk tsk tsk that's a naughty word. We never rob...we just borrow from those who can afford it.

Reader: Borrow? Boy, are we in debt.

‐-------------------

Gambit, carrying Reader after accidently lighting a bunch of fireworks with his power: Get off the roof Get off the roof Get off the roof!

‐-------------------

Reader, who has to be the distraction for the plan: I've got a jar of diiirrt! I've got a jar of diiiiiiiirrrrrrrt!

‐-------------------

Reader: Kurt, I'm afraid I've been thinking-

Kurt: a dangerous past time-

Reader: I know!

‐-------------------

Deadpool, hugging Reader: I shall call them Squishy and they shall be mine and they shall be my Squishy! Come here, Little Squishy!

Reader: *punches DP*

Deadpool: OW! BAD SQUISHY! BAD!

‐-------------------

Reader, about the X-Men: This is my family. I found it...all on my own. It's little...and broken...but still good....Yeah, still good.

This... is a masterpiece. Behold everyone, the saga of Reader!!!

Enjoy their antics, and weep from the funnies!!!

[honeygrahambitch]

I do have a thing for paternal Will tonight, I know but bear with me for this one.

Will is married since before season 1, it doesn't matter who she is, she dies after the kid turns two. Somewhere around the time Will is freed from the hospital. Great, his wife dies and he is left with a child to raise on his own.

Hannibal wouldn't take this kid away from him. He just can't. He sees them together and he realizes that this is something he cannot interfere with. However what he can do to still be present in Will life is to help him raise the kid.

Will is pretty spiteful after he leaves the hospital, and very much petty especially to Hannibal. Now add the sleepless nights and constant stress and overthinking of being a single father. His brain is full time thinking about his own demons coming to surface, being a good father and doing something about Hannibal (trapping him? Tho this slowly changes).

He genuinely enjoys playing with his kid and reading him stories or walking with him in the forest and teaching him about leaves and bugs and animals and especially about fish.

However, after the first weeks of being a single parent, Will wants is to take a 3 hour nap. Nothing more. It would be a luxury considering he has to cook and he has to watch his kid constantly.

He vents about it during one of his therapy sessions. He vents about being tired and feeling incapable of being a good parent. The heavy bags under his eyes reflect his feelings.

That's when Hannibal offers to watch his kid for a few hours so he can get some sleep. Will refuses, he can't trust Hannibal with a toddler. He has no experience. He is dangerous.

Hannibal tells him that a few hours should not be a problem. And he can cook too, Will doesn't have to worry. He promises he doesn't eat children and especially something that was conceived by Will. Will is skeptical but in the end he gives in. He needs some sleep if he wants to be able to work and be a good father.

He drops his kid at Hannibal's place and goes to sleep. What he did not expect was that his 3 hour nap turned into an 8 hour nap. It's almost midnight when he drives to Baltimore. He is desperate. Hannibal doesn't even pick up his phone.

When he starts knocking at his door he is debating breaking it down whatsoever. He regrets every choice he had ever taken. When Hannibal opens the door and Will wants to start talking, Hannibal covers his mouth instantly and gestures to him to be quiet.

"He fell asleep a while ago." Hannibal whispers. "Turned my phone off so he wouldn't wake up. Didn't expect that he would want three bedtime stories. But he said you always tell him three stories. I could not disappoint."

"I don't tell him three stories" Will whispers amused, now that he knows his kid is safe.

"At least we know he got your manipulation skills, then." Hannibal replies as he walks with Will to the living room where his toddler is sleeping soundly, wrapped in a blanket.

"We had dinner. And I also cooked for you for tomorrow."

"You shouldn't have." Will says as guilt starts creeping up on him. "I abused of your free time. I couldn't wake up." He explains as they walk into the kitchen.

"Will, you needed the sleep and I can assure you, my time was not abused off. Your kid is special."

"That's what all parents want to hear." Will says and laughs. "Does the fact that a psychiatrist says that make it a bad thing?"

"Being special? No. He must take it from his father."

"Oh, please, hopefully he doesn't."

"I disagree. Don't forget it's a matter of genes and environment. And they don't look too bad."

"Yeah, his dead has serial killer tendencies and his babysitter is a serial killer who cooks people as a hobby. We nailed the environment part, Hannibal."

They both laugh.

From then on Will is more open towards letting Hannibal babysit his kid. They are almost like a little family. Not only is it convenient for Will's time management but his kid also loves spending time with Hannibal.

Will finally reaches a certain sense of stability he has long waited for.

[your-local-crypt1d]

So about your Papa Fwhip au, does Pixlriffs play much of a role in it?

Ohhhh Pix plays such an interesting role in this thank you for asking!!

Tommy and Pix, once they meet formally, get to have that spiderman into the spiderverse moment where they sense that they're like each other. Death prophets, that is.

Pix has been one of Lady Deaths' chosen for a very very long time. He's had the time to get used to the vivid visions and general unrest the presence of a seer can cause (I'm sure you've heard We Don't Talk About Bruno, that's how most people treat prophets)

Tommy only started getting his visions after his first canon life was lost, and it really freaked his friends out when he started talking about it. Tommy now tends to keep it to himself.

But Pix is happy to discuss whatever he sees, try to make sense of the vagueness and all.

When you're the king (or the count) of your lands, people tend to be respectful and kind to you 24/7, unless they're close friends and family. Tommy is an outlier, because he's tommyinnit. He's loud, he's rude (in a sense), he swears a lot, makes weird sexual innuendos and just generally acts like abrasive child.

Most would find him obnoxious, but I think Pix wouldn't mind all that much. He's met a lot worse in his life than a prickly teenager. It can also be hilarious when he goes on his weird rants or insists that sand is totally edible and very good for you, Pix you should eat some right now.

It's such a far cry from how everyone treats the copper king he can't help but find it a bit funny. Besides, Tommy can be very endearing, it's how he got fWhip so attached to him (and like several father figures before him).

Not many flowers grow out in the desert, not ones Pix thought possible could be turned into flower crowns, but somehow Tommy managed to make him a beautiful crown of desert lilies anyway. Pix is pretty sure that those flowers only bloom on cacti, and his suspicions were confirmed when he found many prickles all over Tommys' clothes and in his fingers.

If Pix wore that flower crown under his official copper crown until the flowers withered away, that's for him and his citizens to know.

The dsmp in this au is a galaxy land very far away thats cursed, once you enter you cannot leave. It's got a hodgepodge of different species cultures and traditions, and eventually a few of their own sparked on from L'manberg and other factions. All this to say, I think Tommy would be somewhat curious about Pixandrian culture, particularly the Vigil and their beliefs around Lady Death (he's only ever heard about her through Phil, it's nice to hear a different story for once)

Pix is also a Silly Guy™ and would absolutely encourage Tommys' more harmless shenanigans, maybe he'd help too but that's for him and Tommy to know.

I like to think Tommy would set up a candle at the vigil for Wilbur, simply saying its for his brother and not elaborating. Pix doesn't need him to say any more, though, he did have a family once upon a time, he understands.

I imagine Pix to be a good secret keeper, so when fWhip asks to keep quiet about the whole thing (he hasn't even told his siblings yet), Pix acquiesces, even offers to babysit here or there even fWhip needs. Not that Tommy is happy about that, whining about being a big man and not a child who needs babysitting.

Grandpa Pix (: he sneaks Tommy candy when fWhip says no (((:

Now for the angst (Cw for a brief discussion of a panic attack and some talk of mental health issues like psychosis. Don't feel like you need to read the rest if you can't!)

Pix was one of the first people to learn about Tommys' existence, entirely by accident. He had come to the Grimlands for his usual trade deal with fWhip (and also to check in on the count who looked more stressed than ever) only to meet Tommy in the worst way possible.

fWhip and Pix are in the middle of their meeting when Tommy calls out for fWhip in distress. All Pix really gets to see is fWhip calm Tommy down from a panic attack, mumbling about how he saw someone in the window, someone who was gonna hurt him again, and fWhip assuring him repeatedly that it wasn't real and nobody was gonna hurt him.

Pix was already curious about what was going on with fWhip, concerned mainly but also curious. fWhip had mentioned something about "someone he needed to look after now" during their last visit. Now he gets to meet that someone.

That someone being a child struggling with hallucinations and severe CPTSD...

That's why fWhips been exhausted, he's been staying up to keep an eye on Tommy in case he gets woken up by night terrors again. That's why fWhips been stressed, Sausage had similar issues growing up that I won't get into here but Pix is old enough to remember his adoption by fWhip and Gems' parents; he's old enough to remember a 12-year-old fWhip talking about how his new big brother is "very sick".

Part of Tommys' C-PTSD is hallucinations, usually visual ones of the people he knows or has killed. He often sees Dream through windows or in crowds, and it always triggers a panic attack for him.

That's partly why Pix offers to "babysit" him, what he really means is "be there if Tommy needs someone to calm him down from a breakdown".

[dailydegurechaff]

fav light novel only characters? like not animated or drawn in the manga yet

So this has been in my inbox for a couple months now and I think I can finally confidently answer it bc I have a couple of characters who I wanna talk about.

Spoiler warning: Due to this ask being related to characters only seen in the light novel there’s going to be spoilers under the read more! I talk about content as far ahead as novel 11. I think we’re safe on stuff from 12 tho!

If you want a no-spoiler summary: Colonel Calandro (not depicted here), Counselor Conrad, and Major Joachim

OK SO,

I think the main two that I like the most and are LN-Only so far are Colonel Calandro from Ildoa, who is the observer that ends up attached to the Salamander/Lergen Kampfgruppe on the eastern front and Counselor Conrad, the imperial diplomat that Lergen talks with a lot.

In Calandro’s case, he’s introduced I believe as early as book 6, so I think he’s probably the one of my favorites who is most likely to be in season 2, so I hope Studio Nut does well by him with a good design. In the sketches above, I decided against trying to make a design for him because 1) I got no ideas man and 2) I think (hope) he might show up in the anime soon so I’d like to hold off on drawing him until there’s an official one.

Anyway, a lot of his scenes are great when he’s attached to the Kampfgruppe. If I recall correctly, there’s this scene in one of the books (Book 7?) where he’s talking to Tanya as she’s making preparations to bombard what is obviously a church and he’s like “What are you doing? Isn’t that a war crime?” And Tanya just goes “No, no, it’s fine. They’re not openly displaying anywhere that this is a building used for religious purposes and even if they were, the other side hasn’t signed that treaty so it’s not like we have to adhere to it if they won’t.”

It’s such a funny scene. Tanya’s like, “Oh he’s concerned that we’re committing a crime. I should assuage him by telling him not to worry, we’ve managed to legally justify it.” And instead of any relief he’s just like “Oh my god what the fuck is wrong with them? Why would they ever think to circumvent treaties like this?”

They're funny as hell together and Tanya’s constant griping that she has to babysit him is so good, I hope we get to see it.

Also also a good scene with him is from the end of LN11 where Lergen calls him in the middle of the night, demanding to speak to him because it’s of vital importance. That ensuing conversation where Lergen’s basically like “I can’t say who’s calling, but you recognize me from the sound of my voice, right? Something’s going to happen. I’m really sorry, I can’t say anything more. Please just remember that I called, okay?” I’m so sorry… but it’s giving ‘Tragic Lovers Doomed To Breakup By Circumstances They Can’t Control’ vibes.

It is now my firmly set headcanon that Lergen and Calandro were lovers throughout and in spite of the war and when the time came for Lergen to choose whether to betray Calandro or his country, he chose to betray Calandro, something he feels immensely guilty about. I know it isn’t what Carlo Zen was trying to convey at ALL, but unfortunately that’s what I got from it. Thank you for coming to my TedTalk, moving on.

I guess next up is Counselor Conrad, the Empire’s diplomat who we first meet in LN10 I think? If we don’t get any content of him, I’ll literally cry. Depending on how far season 2 gets us in the story, we may not end up seeing Conrad and that’s so sad to me. There is a scene from LN10 that I absolutely need adapted into the anime. It’s like 160ish pages in. It’s that scene where Tanya, Lergen, and Conrad are talking with each other and Conrad turns to Lergen and gestures at Tanya and says “How did you raise this?” and Tanya’s like “????”

There is another scene where Lergen describes Conrad as handsome, and because of these two scenes, the delusional headcanon has sprung up that these two eventually end up in a relationship and Tanya is their daughter. I’ve mentioned it in another post. A friend of mine actually talks about Conrad (& Lergen and Tanya) in more detail in her post here. And hey, while I’m recommending posts about Conrad, look at all of these too okay?

Conrad actually has an official design in the novel artworks, so I based my above sketch around that. Here are the few canon images we have of him. Interestingly, in the text he's described as having blue eyes at some point, but the colored version we have has them as brown. These drawings come from Books 10 & 11 I believe?

Ok, last one, for minor characters, there’s Major Joachim who we meet around the end of LN11, who becomes Lergen’s subordinate. I think the best way to describe him is that he’s kind of a boyfailure in the way that Grantz is (that is to say before Grantz got some character development and became somewhat competent). He’s a cutie, I do hope we get some scenes of him.

I did actually do a little sketch of Joachim as we saw above. That one for some reason just came to me very easily, unlike Calandro. Here was my prelim sketch idea:

And I think that’s about it for now. If you note that all of these characters are in some way related to Lergen, um… Well, I can’t help myself really. We know by now he’s one of my favorites so I like characters associated with him too.

[scoops-aboy86]

We see a lot of chubby Steve/weight gain post-high school but I think it would be interesting to see some fics where he’s still in school. Maybe he has to give up sports due to the concussions or something?

You're right and you should say it!! I have a bit of that in my love spell no go AU, before Starcourt happens and Steve goes full trauma-fueled must be able to protect everyone I know mode. 

So... might not be what you were hoping for but I wrote an almost 3k addition to that fic, during the part where Steve is still at Hawkins High. Swim is over for the year (and Steve avoids his pool now), and while he's still on the basketball team he's also smoking weed (helps with the nightmares, getting enough sleep, better mood, etc.) and snacking more. He's in the starter belly stage but has no complaints.

Part 1, (YOU ARE HERE), part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6, part 7, part 8, part 9, part 10, part 11 of the love spell no go au

The weed he bought from Munson is a godsend, and Steve wonders why he hadn’t thought of it before… only to remember that Nancy wouldn’t have approved. (Although she’s not a priss, exactly, she had barely even touched alcohol since the night Barb died. Until Halloween.) But he can sleep through the lonely nights now, which is worth even that hurtful pang of realization—that maybe, Nancy hadn’t been very good for him. 

(Sure, she had helped him study. And his grades had improved. But sometimes, too, she would smile and say, “You’re an idiot, Steve Harrington.” It had been cute at first, before Barb, when the smile had still been real.)

Whenever he thinks about that, or feels particularly lonely, he digs into his stash for a quick smoke out his bedroom window—never by the pool, not anymore. He gets into the habit of snacking after, even if it’s while doing his homework, because even when he’s a little bit stoned it’s somehow easier to focus on shit when he’s doing something else at the same time, and chewing works. 

(Nancy hadn’t liked it when he’d fiddled with his pencil or a rubber band or a Rubix cube or anything while she’d quizzed him with flashcards, even though he’d tried to tell her it helped. She’d fussed at him about it until he’d just… stopped.)

Other times, he zones out in front of the tv while working his way through a sandwich or a bag of chips or a sleeve of Oreos. Or takeout, a lot of the time, because his culinary skills pretty much stop at sandwiches, up to and including scrambling an egg for a breakfast sandwich. But a man cannot live on scrambled eggs alone, he’s learned that the hard way, so pizza or burgers or pasta in cardboard containers it is. 

It’s not just the munchies. After a while Steve gets into the habit of just… eating. It's not like his parents are around to notice, and Dustin and the other kids he babysits sometimes (for all that Mike protests that they aren’t babies and don’t need a sitter; what they do consistently need, however, is rides) don't care as long as he springs for enough that they can have some too. No one at school would dare say it to his face, and somehow it still doesn't manage to fully tank his slightly flagging reputation, but Steve is definitely starting to put on weight. He doesn’t care. 

He starts going to parties again half for a change of scenery, half for a change of food options. Pizza still makes a frequent appearance, but there’s popcorn and flavors of chips that he doesn’t usually buy and various kinds of snack mixes. (His favorites are anything that include M&Ms.) Sometimes, there are even cupcakes or cookies. He doesn’t dance, doesn’t even drink all that much and sticks to just beer when he does, never the punch. Most of the kids who come to these parties are there for the booze and the makeout opportunities, but he turns up to people-watch, bopping his head in time with the music if it's a song he likes, and park himself by whatever food the party has to offer. Sometimes Steve buys from Eddie if he's there, offers to share joints with him that Eddie, still wary, turns down. When the food runs out, Steve leaves.

Tonight, though, Tammy Thompson just will not leave him alone and he’s at a loss for what to do about it. She’s been talking his ear off about wanting to move to Nashville and become a country singer the entire time he’s been working on this extra large pepperoni and sausage with black olives—not his first choice, but it’s still hot enough for the cheese to stretch whenever he picks up the next slice, warm tomato sauce and grease dripping down the front of his polo more often than he can always catch with a napkin. 

“Did you want some?” he asks at some point, to be polite and hopefully indicate that he doesn’t care that she’s trying to tell him something. 

He can tell immediately that it doesn’t work, because Tammy lights up from simply being addressed, even though her answer is, “Oh, no thank you, I’m a vegetarian.”

“Right,” Steve mumbles, and crams nearly half of his next slice of meat-laden pizza in his mouth. Maybe if he talks with his mouth full. “More for me, then.”

The words come out muffled, but she still beams and offers to grab him something to drink, jumping up and scampering off before Steve even has a chance to respond. He sighs, downs the rest of the beer he’s been nursing, and takes the new one she brings him without saying thank you. Between the next pieces of pizza he pops it open, chugs it, and belches; she puts a hand on his arm. 

For a moment, at that, Steve feels a faint stirring of interest. He likes his food, did even before dropping swimming and picking up weed, and well before it started to show. Now that it has, he feels comfortable in his softer body. Good. And maybe… maybe he could handle dating someone who doesn’t mind how much he likes it. He imagines Tammy running her immaculately painted nails over his skin, places he’s noticed have been getting more sensitive lately, and suppresses a shiver. 

“Could you pass me that bowl of M&Ms over there?” he asks, testing the waters. Yeah, he could probably reach it if he stretched, but he’s starting to fill up and doesn’t feel like putting the extra pressure on his stomach. He sits back a little in his chair instead, shifting to get comfortable and laying a hand on his belly where it bows out over the waistband of his jeans. “Sorry, just, you know. Big appetite lately.”

“Oh, that’s okay, I don’t mind,” Tammy says with a giggle as she fetches the bowl for him. “Besides, you’re an athlete! I’m sure you’ll work it off in no time on the court.”

And yeah, no, that vague interest curdles immediately. As far as Steve is concerned, the only parts of himself he wants to get rid of are all in his head—the heartbroken parts, the nightmare and trauma parts, the desperately lonely and needy parts. But he’s not so lonely that he’ll hook up with a girl who’s willing in spite of how he looks, because what else could she possibly be interested in? His personality?

He barely even has one. King Steve has always been bullshit, Nancy was right about that much. 

Through the crowd, he spots curly hair and a flash of dark leather—Eddie. Good, he’d been hoping to buy more tonight, and this is as good an excuse to exit this conversation as any. 

Steve grabs a handful of M&Ms to shove in his mouth and flips the lid of the pizza box closed, handing the bowl back to Tammy and taking the box with him when he stands. “Well, enjoy the rest of the party,” he blurts. “I’ve gotta go see a guy about some drugs. Bye!”

As he makes his escape, some girl that he thinks he might have class with or something just about shoulder-checks him, but he’s solid enough that she ends up stumbling from the impact instead. The glare she gives him could peel paint… which is actually kind of refreshing, after enduring Tammy’s simpering for the better part of an hour. 

To Eddie’s perpetual frustration, now that Steve Harrington has started buying weed from him he can never seem to be free of the guy. Case in point: the “Hey, Munson, wait up!” that follows him to the backyard of tonight’s house party slash business venture. 

He waits until he’s down the patio steps before whipping around, prepared to glare and snap an impatient what do you want, Harrington, but ends up staring at a pizza box that’s being shoved in his face. 

“Pizza?” Steve says. 

Eddie blinks at the box, then at the boy holding it. “This isn’t your party. Doesn’t that mean it’s not your pizza to offer?”

“It might as well be, I’ve eaten most of it,” Steve replies. “No one seemed to notice, that makes it fair game.” 

Once, Eddie had been selling at a party and been bitched out for touching a single cookie, because those were for guests. He wants to scowl, but then his gaze flicks down to the partly open box and sees that there aren’t many slices left, eyes fixing on the evidence dripped down the front of Steve’s shirt and the way it’s… tight, across his middle. “You ate all but three slices of an entire extra large?”

He’s not sure what answer he expects to get. Maybe something like Of course not, dickhead, or maybe just, What, like it’s hard? But all Steve says is, “Yep.” And keeps looking at him with those sweet hazel eyes that seem bight and not too clouded by alcohol. 

Still, Eddie is wary. “Okay… You first.” 

Steve just shrugs and pulls out a slice, taking a bite before Eddie snatches it out of his hand. “Hey!”

“Just making sure it wasn’t poisoned first, sweetheart,” Eddie retorts, sneering for the excuse to call a pretty boy sweetheart in semi-public, butterflies stirring in his stomach at getting away with it. “Don’t worry, the rest is all yours.”

“Who’s tried to poison you?” Steve asks in a perplexed tone, folding the last two slices together to make a pizza sandwich and tossing the empty box onto the deck. Still following Eddie, because of course this is Eddie’s life. Love spell was a spectacular failure, but he’s still got the boy of his dreams following him around like a lost duckling because he’s got drugs. Fucking fantastic. 

And Eddie doesn’t want to get into the whole thing—those rumors from when Eddie had been in seventh grade and Steve had been in sixth, for all that they’re both in the same grade now, about some kid who’d been sent to the ER from a bad reaction to itching powder. There were variations where it had gotten in his eyes and nearly blinded him, or on his food and made his throat swell shut, or in his underwear and turned his dick so red his balls fell off. In reality, he had only gone to the nurse with a bad rash and hadn’t even been allowed to go home, but it left a goddamn impression. 

He doesn’t want to get into it, not if Steve either doesn’t remember the rumors or hasn’t connected them to his present day self, so he just rolls his eyes and says, “Are you looking to buy or what?”

Steve immediately brightens a bit, like a golden retriever spotting someone holding a tennis ball. “Yeah, I smoked the last I had before coming here but it’s already worn off I think.” And takes a big bite of his two pizza slices. 

So Eddie leads him to a darker nook around the side of the house for the deal, trying not to stare at the way Steve’s cheeks bow out while he chews, like a damn chipmunk. It’s cute. He’s kind of angry that it’s cute, that there’s still a part of him that lights up when Steve looks happy, satisfied, content—and right now all of those boxes are checked. 

“Want to smoke a little now?” Steve offers, once he’s paid and taken the baggie one handed, popped the rest of the food in his mouth, licked his fingers clean, and pulled out a pack of rolling papers. And Eddie pauses too long before answering, long enough that Steve takes the lack of refusal as a yes. 

Which Eddie should correct, because he usually says no to that sort of thing, especially when he’s at parties specifically to sell. He’s turned Steve down before, even; it’s like the guy has a whole thing about offering whenever he plans on lighting up asap. Eddie knows better to fall into that trap. 

But it’s a nice night. The weather is mild for spring, business has been good, and Steve licks his lips to get the last traces of pizza sauce before his tongue darts out to wet the paper and finish rolling the joint. Nice and tight, like the denim hugging Steve’s ass and thighs tighter recently. So Eddie sticks around, breaks his rule and tries to keep his face clear of any evidence that he is fixated on the few degrees of separation between smoking and kissing, heart hammering the entire time. He tells himself it’s a one time only thing, but knows he might be lying. Recognizes how addictive this could be. 

“Thanks for being here,” Steve says after passing the joint back and forth a few times, his eyes glazed and drooping. “Really needed this tonight.”

“That’s what I’m here for, man,” Eddie replies. He’s leaning against the side of the house practically shoulder to shoulder with his crush, and the high washing over him is really taking the edge off the jagged yearning in his chest. Like, he still wants, but he’s happy just floating in the present moment, content with the indirect sharing of spit. And this is… This is okay. 

Surprisingly okay. 

It throws Eddie for a loop because it’s at odds with the whole King Steve image. The whole puppet master persona that isn’t a bully, but can with a few words cut someone down socially to where the bullies could reach them, if they so wish. Popular kids at Hawkins High walk around with their noses in the air like they’ve never smelled a fart and refuse to start now, but this is the guy they turn around and start brown-nosing. King Steve isn’t nice, he’s used to being waited on. Kings do not say thank you to the court jester for simply carrying out his profession. 

Just Steve, though, is different. Just Steve is chill and finished most of an entire huge pizza while mostly sober, is filling out his clothes even better these days in Eddie’s opinion, and currently looks the most at peace he’s ever seen a person. No walls, no guard… Just Steve. 

Okay, that one split joint had gone straight to his head, god damn. 

“Well, I’m gonna take off,” Eddie announces, and can’t tell if he’s said it too loud or not. He pushes off the wall with a shake of his head. “You snagged pretty much the last of my inventory, so I’ll just get out of here before someone starts handing out the torches and pitchforks.”

Steve chuckles. “Like any of those guys in there know how to make a torch,” he scoffs. He manages to say it in a way that almost makes Eddie lean in. Makes him feel like he’s been let in on some sort of inside joke, like they could but those losers couldn’t. 

Which is—Okay, so Eddie does in theory know how to make a torch, he’d looked into it for one of his earliest homebrew campaigns, but Steve Harringnton? The very idea of Steve whipping off his shirt, tying it to a branch, soaking the end in something flammable, and lighting it up is something out of fantasy. Out of specific fantasies that he has had. It snaps Eddie out of the hazy bubble of they that Steve had somehow created with just a few words, and holy shit. Was that one of the side effects of his wonky spell, or was that Just Steve?

“Yeah, sure,” Eddie scoffs back, putting more distance between them even though he does want to lean in, dammit, but he wants Steve to want it too. Even though it’s on the tip of his tongue to ask the guy if he has a ride home, or if he wants to swing by the mom and pop ice cream place on Main for desert or something; Eddie has been practicing swallowing down urges like that since he’d hit adolescence. “Find me next time you need to top up your stash, Harrington.”

He walks away fast enough that if Steve responds he doesn’t hear it, heading for the back gate that he’d left the house for in the first place. His van is parked strategically nearby for a quick getaway, just in case the party got out of hand and a neighbor called the cops. 

And if his dreams that night feature a completely relaxed Steve Harrington chewing on never ending slices of pizza and that blissful look of peace on his face, his lips shiny with spit and grease, it’s not like Eddie is ever going to tell anyone.

Tag list (comment to be added): @hotluncheddie @8em-em-em8 @anaibis @connected-dots @lawrencebshoggoth

[kharmii]

(Where Dabi takes Geten out of his Meta Liberation Army bubble so he can observe some normal people)

Geten: Is the Meta Liberation Army handbook short on stock?

Clerk: Sorry, that's all we have... *sigh*

Geten: Get a larger stock and they will sell!

Clerk: Thank you for your suggestion.

Geten: There's still time to be patient until that glorious day comes.

It can't be helped; I must refrain from using my meta ability in public. (To Dabi) What did you buy?

Dabi: It's a secret.

Geten: Stop following me!

Dabi: It's a babysitting job. Give me the pocket money the bald CEO gave you.

Geten: Don't call him bald!

Dabi: Let's get something to eat.

Geten: We'll go to the restaurant run by PLA soldiers and frequented by government officials that offers free all-you-can-eat meals to senior officials.

Dabi: That's so shitty.

(Dabi takes Geten to a popular fast-food burger joint instead)

Geten: -Looks messy

(Sign says 'Wo's Burgers')

Dabi: How can we talk about the future of society without knowing what's popular with our current society?

Worker: Welcome to Wo's. Can I take your order!

Random Girl: Hello, mom? The closing ceremony is over. Big brother is here too.

Random Older Boy: Which one is good?

Random Voice on Phone: Yes, I went to pick you up. I'll be back after lunch.

Random Younger Boy: No way.

Boy: The red one!

Older Brother: Seriously?!?!?! It's spicy!

Boy: Yeah! Ta-bo is an adult at school.

Dabi: Hey.

Geten: Ah... Ah, leave it to me.

Dabi: If you don't like it, burn it.

Geten: Don't just kill future soldiers without permission.

Don't hold me back with haphazard slaughter. If you get in his way, I'll put an end to your life right here.

(Geten gets more worked up)

Geten: When the time comes, as much as you want to, just kill them if they need killing. Right now, you're definitely the one holding me back.

(Where Geten reveals how he can't connect with regular people from being sheltered and isolated by MLA ideology.....hints at affection for Dabi maybe)

Geten: It's possible to become attached to a single ant,

When they gather together, they're no different from the buildings that grow everywhere.

It's an unrealistic view, like watching them from the other side of a television or a window.

Geten: ReDestro is passionate about society, which includes the general public.

Even if I think so, maybe I-I need to have a real, tangible experience of it.

Even if a large number of people were killed in front of you, you probably wouldn't feel any particular sympathy.

I think it puts a river between us.

The reason I stopped earlier was simply because that's what Re-Destro still wants.

Blue Flame, who are you?

Dabi: You're so talkative. Are you an adolescent?

Everyone has a river around them, right?

So, let's build a bridge for the same cause or dream... No matter how many weird arguments you make, no matter how disgusting the logic.

You're just gonna fly off like a brain dead idiot anyway, so don't ask me.

Well...

Geten: It's impossible..

Dabi: If you cross, I'll give you a kiss.

Geten: What are you talking about?

Dabi: The story of the ice man who drowned miserably in the Sanzu River.

Geten: Every single time since a while ago.....!

Dabi: It's fine, kids should just act like kids and have a happy meal.

Geten: Stop treating me like a child!

Geten: I don't approve, I don't approve....

*cough* *munch, munch, munch* *cough* *munch*

(Manages with mouth full) This simple food is the diet of the masses.

*breaks into a paroxysm of choking and coughing from food getting caught in his throat. It was so good he ate it too fast)

Dabi: (amused spewing vinegar) I don't understand hamster language. You are eating your hair. Wow, you look sloppy. Sheez....

*slaps him*

Did it hit you strange?

Geten: !?

Geten at a high point observing Dabi speaking to another person.

Geten: (creeping on Dabi in a dark alley) If we understood each other, there would have been a way for us to live together.

Are you pretending to be a self-sacrificing hero?

"You said things like 'light and shadow', 'we live in different worlds', 'fly freely', even though you were the one who made it impossible for me to fly.

That is.....

Is this your kind of love, Blue Flame?

Dabi: He talks so much. He won't stop talking. What a brat.

Geten: Should I get Trumpet to look into finding a good plastic surgeon?

If you can live without using fire, you don't need me. But you do need me, right?

The two of us could retreat to the countryside.

I wish I could live modestly and peacefully.

Dabi: Get wet

Geten: Dry it yourself.

Dabi: Impossible.

Geten: (thinking) Our relationship continues to develop. What a sad man.

Geten: (whispers an unintelligible endearment)

Dabi: Don't call me that, I'll kill you.

Geten: Is this name reserved for Hawks? Sorry about that.

Dabi: What, you don't even know your name? (Meaning the endearment is for Geten).

You're living a truly wonderful life, poor thing.

Geten: ? (Too dense to get it)

Huh? You're kidding!! How the hell do you know that!!!

Dabi: Pfff.....Let's go.

Geten: (confused, maybe because he doesn't actually know his real name, and Dabi claimed the endearment was his actual name).

Hey! There's more like this!

(Dabi pretends not to listen while Geten rants)

Re-Destro's.......apparently it was discovered in the notes he left behind! And then...! Anyway, there are even more touching scenes!

This is the worst! I don't believe it! Hey!

Dabi: *sighs*

Art credit: yaoi, hrak (yaoi), My Hero Academia BL 3000+ bookmarks / （※注キャプション）荼ホ＋外荼外の今までに描いた漫画 - pixiv

[girlnamedangel]

Operation Sibling Expansion

Leonard Cooper, just five years old, had been mulling over his grand idea for weeks. Armed with his crayon-drawn charts and vibrant, colorful graphs, he was finally ready to present his case for why he should have a sibling. Today, he decided, was the perfect time.

As luck would have it, Sheldon and Amy were lounging in the living room, engaged in a rare moment of relaxation. Sheldon was engrossed in a new theoretical physics paper, while Amy was flipping through a magazine. Leonard, with his briefcase in hand and a determined glint in his eye, saw his chance.

“Mommy, Daddy,” Leonard announced with surprising gravitas, “I have something important to show you!”

Both parents looked up, startled by the sudden interruption. Sheldon raised an eyebrow while Amy’s face turned slightly pink, clearly caught off guard.

Leonard set up his charts on the coffee table with careful precision. “I’ve been doing some research, and I think it’s a great idea for us to have another baby.”

Sheldon blinked, momentarily speechless. “Another baby? Leonard, where did this come from?”

Amy shifted uncomfortably in her seat, clearly flustered. She shot Sheldon a worried glance, as if to say, "You handle this."

Leonard, completely unfazed by their surprise, began pointing at his crayon drawings. “This chart shows that having a sibling means more fun and sharing. And this one”—he flipped to a new page—“is my cost-benefit analysis. It says having another baby is good for everyone!”

Sheldon took a deep breath, trying to regain his composure. “Leonard, this is quite a presentation. But having another baby is not as simple as it might seem.”

Amy, still looking a bit embarrassed, chimed in softly. “Leonard, it’s very sweet that you’ve thought this through, but having a baby is a big decision. It involves a lot more than just charts and graphs.”

Leonard looked up at his parents, his small face full of earnest expectation. “But why? You and Mommy are smart and you can figure it out. It would be fun to have someone to play with.”

Sheldon glanced at Amy, who nodded slightly, signaling him to take the lead. Sheldon crouched down to Leonard’s level, trying to gently explain. “Leonard, having a sibling involves a lot of things we need to think about. It’s not just about playing and having fun. We have to make sure everything is ready, and that’s a process that takes time and careful planning.”

Leonard’s face fell a bit, but he still seemed hopeful. “So, you’re not saying no, right?”

Sheldon managed a reassuring smile. “We’re not saying no. We just need to think about it very carefully. It’s a big decision for our whole family.”

Leonard nodded, accepting this explanation with the maturity of his years. “Okay, Daddy. I understand. But can we still talk about it?”

“Of course,” Sheldon said, giving Leonard a comforting pat on the shoulder. “We’ll talk more about it with Mommy and figure things out.”

As Leonard scampered off to play, Sheldon turned to Amy with a contemplative look. “Well, Amy, it seems we have a lot to consider. Are you ready to discuss how we might move forward with the procreation process?”

Amy’s cheeks flushed a deep red, and she quickly stood up, clearly flustered. “Oh, um, sure. I’ll just, uh, go to the kitchen for a moment.” She turned and began to walk toward the kitchen.

Before fully entering the other room, Amy paused and called back, “Maybe we should probably call our friends to see who might be able to babysit Leonard tonight.”

Sheldon’s eyes lit up with a playful smile as he nodded. “Great idea. I’ll make the call.”

As Amy disappeared into the kitchen, Sheldon’s smile grew wider. He took a moment to appreciate the unexpected turn of events, feeling a mix of amusement and anticipation about the night ahead.