#i think we share a lot of the same feelings regarding our family but we can't say it out loud because of the guilt

[asyourshadowfalls]

im an emotionally stunted adult but man can i bare my soul via text. anyway got a bit in my head and had to send a follow up to some stuff my brother said on the car ride home from our grandma's birthday dinner. sure i cringed in anxiety of his response for the next 20 minutes. but his response gave me hope that he will do whatever he needs to to be sure that he sticks around the people that are right for him, regardless of what that means

[tizeline]

Giggling at the fact that Donnie probably has a lot of only child habits like only getting food for himself and eating it Infront of them and getting genuinely annoyed if they try to steal some. Astonished when they borrow anything of his without permission (WHO MOVED MY PENS?!). Being genuinely perplexed when one of his chores gets done randomly 😭

Poor Donnie isn't in on any of the inside jokes probably 😔

LMAO yeah I've been thinking about Only Child Donnie a lot XD

For example, Donnie having no idea how to differentiate between normal sibling bickering and genuine fights. After Raph starts hanging out with Donnie and Leo, he'll get to see way more of that classic sibling bickering in action. And considering Leo's tension with the rest of his family during this time because of the whole Dark Armor incident, he'd worry that Leo and Raph still feel some actual resentment towards each other. Leo and Raph are arguing with each other to the point they start play-wrestling and Donnie is all like "shit shit what do I do they're gonna hurt each other" and the next second Leo and Raph are laughing at random some joke and Donnie is just left confused over the whole interaction because what even was that?? Weren't they mad at each other just a second ago??

I will say though, me and my sibling weren't the type to just share each others stuff freely. Well, we did when we were young, most of our toys we both played with. But maybe because of that we got a bit possessive over our own stuff as we got older (we also shared a room until I was like 10-ish, so we were probably both a bit desparate to become separate induviduals at that point). Point is, if my bastard of a sibling even DARED to step foot into my sacred abode (my room) without my express permission, they would be forced to face my unbridled fury (I'd gently beat them up with pillows)! And if they were to steal as much as a single pencil from my treasury, my wrath would lead me to even more drastic measures (I'd snitch to our parents)!

That being said, I have no idea how The Drax Bros behaved regarding this when growing up. IF they were the type to just yoink each others stuff constantly (which I definitely think is possible) you are completely right that it would drive Donnie up the wall if they did the same to him XD

In my experience and from what I've observed with others, when you have siblings close in age to you, you tend to develop a very intense obsession with everything always needing to be 100% fair and equal. For example, if you're cutting up cake and your siblings piece is as much of a millimeter wider than your own piece, it's basically the end of the world. I can see Leo and Donnie sharing a pizza and afterwards Leo's all outraged over Donnie getting more pizza than him. Donnie's confused cuz they each got an equal amount of slices, but then Leo accuses Donnie of getting all the SLIGHTLY bigger slices and as such got a LITTLE bit more pizza than Leo! Completely unfair!

Actually, Donnie being a math nerd would be good at measuring food in this scenario, his brothers would constantly try to get him to divide any food they're sharing to make sure it's as even and equal as possible. Donnie quickly gets tired of this, but the alternative is the other turtles all arguing with each other over who gets which piece which is even more annoying so he just goes along with it lol.

And oh yeah, Donnie definitely feels quite left out whenever his brothers joke about or even mentions something they did growing up that he did not get to partake in (little does he know that his brothers feels similarly whenever he and April do the same thing and references stuff from their shared childhood that they did not get to be part of)

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

I was given oral herpes by someone who didn't feel the need to disclose that they got cold sores before we had a one-time little dalliance.

I might've gone for it anyways. I'm self destructive. But I guess the lack of being able to choose whether to take the risk, it's left me feeling pretty bitter about the experience.

And I'm left feeling like a biohazard. I haven't really been able to explain to my friends yet why I'm suddenly extremely cagey about sharing my drinks and food. And all my favorite sexual activities are off the table forever. I know, dental dams, condoms, but half the fun of oral sex and making out is, you know, the taste, the heat, the absolute control. I was good at it.

It feels especially embarrassing since I'm ace and the whole reason I hooked up with the person was kind of... I don't know, fear that if I didn't, then we wouldn't be able to hang out anymore.

I'm not sure what I'm asking. Maybe, was it wrong for them not to disclose something like that? Considering how common it is? I feel obligated to disclose myself but maybe I'm just weird for that.

Thanks for doing what you do here.

Kind regards,

Asexual for Ethical Reasons Now I Guess

hi anon,

I don't often apologize for needing time to get to anons, because I really need people to have reasonable expectations about the amount of time I'm willing to commit to my inbox, but I am sorry for not getting to this one sooner. it's a topic that's very important to me, and I can tell you're dealing with a lot of hurt.

first off: I'm very sorry someone wasn't totally honest with you. that's never a good feeling, and especially in the context of sex it's a huge betrayal of trust. it's deeply unfair to you, and I hope you're able to recover from that.

having said that: you are not a biohazard. you're a person with an incredibly common virus. the World Health Organization estimates that somewhere around 80% of people worldwide have herpes (and that's a rough estimate, since they use different age ranges for HSV-1 and HSV-2). skip to the factual part of this tiktok at 00:10 seconds. herpes has been with us since before we were human; there's nothing disgusting or even unusual about having herpes.

herpes is different from most STIs in that it is lifelong, but that doesn't make you an unfuckable pariah. it makes you someone who may sometimes have open sores, and should give partners a heads up about your virus to avoid putting anyone in the same situation you're in. while you're at it, let them know that most people with herpes live asymptomatic and uncomplicated lives. many people never even know they have it!

I understand that spending the rest of your life with a viral buddy doesn't sound super fun right now, but I promise that as viruses go you can do WAY worse.

personally I've always felt the best way to get comfortable with something is to learn more about it. why not let clinical sexologist Dr. Doe talk to you about her own herpes, and how to be conscientious about minimizing the risk of sharing herpes with others?

or listen to writer Ella Dawson talk about learning to cope with the exact stigma you're currently struggling with?

or listen to Dr. Sydnee Smirl McElroy explain why herpes bears such a heavy stigma for such a mild virus in the first place?

you're not a biohazard, and neither is anyone else with an STI. that's a terrible way to think about yourself and others.

you're under no obligation to stop being sexually active if you don't want to be.

please don't feel that you have to have sex with anyone out of a sense of obligation anymore, but also please don't feel that herpes is a punishment. sickness isn't something that happens to people because they're bad or deserve, sickness happens to people because people get sick.

take care 💜

[waltwhitmansbeard]

Hello! may I request any prompt of your choosing from the hurt/comfort list if I specifically ask for tlovm vaxleth? thank you!

10. "Don't worry about anything now."

It's cold in Whitestone, especially at night, but Keyleth doesn't feel it. Her body is warm, hot even, pressed back against Vax like this. His arm is draped over her, his chin hooked over her shoulder. Her naked shoulder. Because she's naked. They both are. Because they had sex.

Vax's breathing is slow and even, and Keyleth is working overtime to keep hers the same way. It's not that she's freaking out—she's not. Not really. Except her body is sore, pleasantly so, dully tingling in the memory of his hands on her, in her—oh, and while that was happening, the people of Whitestone were burying their dead. And Thordak was still burning Emon. And Raishan was probably plotting her inevitable betrayal. And Percy was lying in a tomb, surrounded by generations of deceased de Rolos. But oh gods, the things Vax's tongue can do.

She's a bad person. That has to be it. She gets together with Vax in their dead friend's home? While Vex is in mourning? Who does that? Sure, she was waiting for Vax to pull his head out of his ass long before Percy died, but still, she could have waited, should have waited, found a better moment, done everything differently—

"You're thinking so loud." Vax's voice is a sleepy rumble in her ear as his arm tightens around her.

She laughs nervously. "Sorry. Just, um. A lot to think about."

His nose trails lazily up the back of her neck. "Care to share?"

Now she's in a pickle. She can't tell him what she was really thinking about, because then he'll think she regrets sleeping with him, which she doesn't—at least, not like that. And she's always been so bad at lying. And if she says she's thinking about Percy, will he think she wishes he were here instead? Because wow, no. She has to lie. But say what—

"Kiki, seriously. If you think any louder you're going to wake up the whole castle."

"Was this a mistake?" She feels his body stiffen, and his arm starts to retract. Fully panicking now, she grabs his hand, uses it to tug herself around so she's on her back, where she can see his face. It's shell-shocked, hurt. "That is not what I meant. I don't—I don't regret this. I don't regret you. I promise, Vax."

His face softens a bit, but he's still regarding her skeptically. "I'm really struggling to find another interpretation here, Kiki."

"No, I know, I just meant—" She throws her forearm over her eyes so she doesn't have to look at him. "Percy is dead and Vex is heartbroken and Whitestone is in ruins again and we have to fight Thordak and Raishan is such a bitch and gods I am so behind on my Aramenté and really what right do I have to be happy with you when everything is terrible—"

He shuts her up by kissing her. His hand pulls her face closer to his, and her arm falls away from her eyes as she melts against his lips. For a moment, everything is quiet.

"Keyleth," he murmurs against her mouth. "You are beautiful and powerful and wise and so very, very silly."

"I'm not—"

"You are. There is no 'deserving' happiness. There is just...finding it. With our friends. With our families." His thumb traces little circles where his hand cups her jaw. "Here, in this bed, with you. You know, a very wise woman once pointed out to me how foolish it was to forgo current happiness for fear of future pain." He smirks at her. "I'd hate to see her forgo current happiness because she's guilty about the suffering of others."

Keyleth chews her lip. "But there are things we could be doing. People we could be helping."

"We can't help anyone if we're too exhausted to stand. C'mere." He gently spins her around again so that he's spooning her, her hand cupped in his, and yeah, the feeling of him behind her, warm and solid, does make the brain chatter quiet a bit. "Don't worry about anything now. We have so much time to worry, I promise you. All of the things you're concerned about will be there in the morning, and so will I." He kisses the nape of her neck. "I don't know what the future holds, but I can't imagine thinking about that when I have my favorite person in the world in my arms."

He squeezes her close, and Keyleth breathes in the arm, woodsy scent of him. Alright. Maybe he's right. Maybe the horrors will still be waiting come daylight. Maybe they can share this night, and the happiness it has brought them. She closes her eyes, and soon, she is dreaming of hundreds more nights, just like this.

[beauty-and-passion]

TBOB PART 3: OF BILL'S SOLITUDE AND BILLFORD (3/3)

Welcome, everyone, to the last analysis post regarding TBOB.

It has been a long journey - and a fun one too! I’m glad you appreciated all the previous posts and I hope this one will be appreciated as well.

For all disclaimers and premises, please check the links below.

<- Previous post - Masterlist

_______________________________

Cause of his own pain

Before TBOB, I don’t think a lot of people thought Bill would react badly to his breakup with Ford. Maybe he would get angry or become even more possessive - in Journal 3, we know he promised an entire galaxy, to the creature who would’ve brought Sixer to him.

But facing it so badly to go to a pub and drown his sorrows? I doubt it was on a lot of people’s bingo card.

Speaking about the “LOSING SIXER” page a bit more: Bill said Sixer secretly loved “our “will-they-won’t-they-destroy-the-world” relationship”. And for all the people who don’t know, the “will-they-won't-they” is a figure of speech about “a potential coupling between two people who share romantic chemistry, but whose relationship is threatened by uncertainty, external obstacles or internal strife.” (courtesy of Google).

So not only Bill cared about Ford, saw him as similar to himself and has been more honest with him than with everyone else, but he also considered their relationship romantic-coded. He was down for Ford, just as much as Ford was down for him. And it’s pretty clear he was, considering the “one Sixer, please”, followed by him crying, getting drunk, trashing the place and even forgetting his mother died. If that’s not being down bad for someone, I don’t know what it is.

Also, according to THIS interview, Alex Hirsch said that:

Bill’s a trillion years old, so it’s like, Ford disappearing for thirty years is like- [snaps fingers] is like somebody saying they’re ghosting you and then texting you the next weekend, you know what I mean?

So, for Bill, their relationship happened in a very short time. AND YET, he grew so attached to get devastated by Ford disappearing for something that for him was, like, a week. He was down THIS bad.

And, for me, this is the icing on top of the beautiful tragedy that is Billford, because now we can be sure Bill cared before, during and after the breakup. He saw Ford as a potentially romantic partner. He wanted him around.

But because of his unresolved trauma and his inability to properly distinguish feelings, Bill mixed love and fear, thinking they were the same. And the result was losing the only human in the history of mankind he had been interested in.

Furthermore, this makes Billford even more tragic if we consider that, for better or for worse, these two had the potential to become a happy, powerful couple.

Think about it: if Bill wasn’t such a messed up individual, he could’ve been the Muse Ford needed. He could’ve kept being the center of his life and the sun in his galaxy, as Ford said. They’ve found a kindred spirit in each other: they could’ve been each other family, each other’s supporter. And with their cleverness, they really could’ve gone “through hardships to the stars”.

On the other hand, if Ford was a much, much more messed up individual, he could’ve joined Bill in his plans to dominate the galaxy. He could’ve worked with him to bring Weirdmageddon everywhere. He would’ve destroyed everyone and taught “a lesson to all”. He would’ve been to his side, ruling alongside him, “all-powerful, greater than anything you've imagined”, as Bill promised during Weirdmageddon. They would’ve been the most powerful couple ever.

But Bill lost both possibilities and the fault is his own. Just like he lost everything and everyone else in the past, once again, the fault is just his own.

_______________________________

Again as before: alone

TBOB doesn’t end on a happy note. When I reached the last pages, I literally commented with: “Oh boy, that’s truly depressing”.

The way Bill snaps and says that “you turned out like all the rest”, the way he blames his past relationships, his “worthless Henchmaniacs”, his “miserable family” and Sixer. Yes, just Sixer, no bad adjective to add to him - understandable, considering he’s probably still down bad for him.

And he says he just needs one person, someone who will fall for his tricks. He’s not even looking for a special person: he’s just looking for someone. Someone who will get him out. Because he doesn’t miss anyone, nope nope, but he really, really wants someone. Anyone.

To me, this reconfirms Bill is and has been alone, for a very, very long time. Probably since the destruction of Euclydia. He tried to fill the void inside him with some romantic relationships, but he didn’t manage to keep them. He tried with friends, but he cannot understand a friendship not based on submission. He tried with an audience, but it still wasn’t enough.

And when he found the only soul who was so similar to him, both physically and mentally, the only one he was honest with, even if for a brief moment… he lost him too.

And now he’s, once again, alone. He lost his family, his friends, his loved ones. He lost everything.

_______________________________

An immensely fascinating character

Bill is so. Goddamn. Fascinating. He was a fascinating character before, because the series gave us hints about his potentially tragic backstory (the famous “Flat minds in a flat world with flat dreams”). He was interesting and he was hiding something, so he got our attention.

Now, he’s fascinating because he’s multifaceted. He’s complex, he’s tragic, he’s desperate. You can empathize with him and feel sorry for him. But you can also laugh with/at him, fear him, condemn him. His tragic story doesn’t make up for what he did, but it helps us understand how he reached that point. In perspective, it makes all of his choices easier to understand too: Bill never went through all the stages of grief, he’s still stuck in the denial phase. And when you keep carrying denial for such an absurdly long amount of time, your choices and your mentality inevitably end up being skewed.

You know, it’s funny that Bill sees himself as a bidimensional villain, when he’s so, so much more than that. Maybe it’s all part of his trauma, his inability to see himself as more than just the insane monster who destroyed his home dimension. But this book does him justice and portrays him for the incredible, fascinating, complex character he truly is.

And that’s another reason why I respect Alex Hirsch so much. Aside from being funny and clever, this man is full of passion for the world he made. He is Gravity Falls. And, ten years later, he still has a great understanding of the characters: he can portray them so accurately, with so many details and connections to the previously disseminated dots - all while still leaving questions! Man, I can only wish to reach this level of understanding of my own characters.

So, once again, I’m here to thank this man. For creating Gravity Falls and sharing that world, while fighting censorship in every step. And for coming back, ten years later, to give the fandom a second renaissance.

_______________________________

Gravity Falls, it’s good to be back!

I have a ton of moments in my life connected to Gravity Falls, of summers, feelings and memories. This show saved me from depression, brought me up to my feet, took my hand to Canada and back home, then left my hand for a while to make me take some steps alone.

In these years, I learned a lot, improved my English, improved my writing in general. And now, I feel more ready, more mature, more capable of writing something like nine posts to analyze one single book and show at least a small part of the deep love I still feel for this series.

I hope you all felt it - at least a little bit. I hope you enjoyed my stupidly long analysis, my silly theories and my obsession with the triangle guy.

And if you’re still not fed up with me and want more rambling, please feel free to ask for more. Tell me what else do you want me to talk about, if you want episode analyses, if there is something else I missed, if Dipper and Pacifica are truly endgame (the answer is yes). I will write them inbetween other posts about other fandoms (Epic and CCCC, I am coming back for you both).

And if you want new Gravity Falls fanfictions, don’t worry: I have one already in progress, a second one planned and a third one still in my mind. Maybe not all three of them will see the light of day, but who knows? Maybe I will get new ideas too. The love for this series is too strong on me and I need to express it somehow <3

So stay tuned, because we will meet again very, very soon~

Thank you all for your time and attention and I wish you all a nice day <3

(How about a coffee? ☕)

_______________________________

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[rainbowsky]

Heyy rainbowsky. I hope you're doing good. There's something that's been on my mind for a while regarding candies, esp the one regarding their social media and the ones that seem "intentional". Do you think these are directed at each other or to turtles. As a younger turtle I used to think it was for each other and would also see them as a stretch cause I couldn't see the point of putting so much effort in these if they were already together. But as I have taken a break and come back, (older and wiser i hope) and have myself found my footing in my queerness while still being largely closeted, I feel like I'm swaying more towards the latter. That they do this for the turtles, or more so for themselves and their identities. It's makes me think of how i wear a discreet rainbow bracelet as part of my everyday wear, ie, a quiet assertion of who i am to who is willing to see. What do you think about this? Also what do you think turtles represent for them? Do you also think for them, we are an escape from an otherwise homophobic and closeted world? I'd really like to know your perspective.

Hi Chaoticmoonlight! I'm getting by! I hope you're well, too! 😊

Well, these things don't have to be a case of either/or. They can serve multiple purposes at the same time. I think that when it comes to 'declarations of love', or a certain type of social media PDA in their posts (kadian, candies, etc.), it's almost always aimed at each other and at turtles simultaneously, as well as anyone else who knows them for who they are (friends, family, etc.).

If GG and DD want to send a message to each other, they can just pick up the phone. Doing so publicly or on social media inevitably involves an element of self-expression, and likely at times becomes a grander gesture because of the public nature of the message.

If a partner holds your hand at home, it's sweet. If they do it in public there's an added element of 'making a statement', of openly declaring their affection for you. This gesture can become more powerful as the risk of doing so increases.

I agree that it's also a lot like wearing a rainbow flag pin or carrying a rainbow tote bag, or all the other ways queer people express ourselves and show our colors. It's a way of being as open as possible about an important relationship, and about our identities.

I've posted about this a few times in the past. A very common misconception among most people - especially straight people, but even some queer people - is that closeted people will want to do everything in their power to hide their sexual orientation and relationship status/partner. I think this is a very misguided understanding of the closet.

People have a fundamental need to be seen, accepted and validated for who they are. It's not just a 'nice-to-have', it's something people truly need for their survival and well-being. People who don't get those needs met will generally not thrive, and will often suffer in deep and damaging ways.

A lot of people think the closet is a place where people go to stay safe, and therefore it's a 'safe space'. This is so untrue. The closet might be the best option among several bad options, but it's by no means a safe, happy place. It's often a place of loneliness, alienation, grief and pain. People don't generally stay in the closet because they're happy there - they stay there because coming out is more dangerous/scary than staying closeted.

The vast majority of people, if they knew that it was safe to come out, - that they'd be accepted, protected and respected - would do so in a heartbeat. But even from within the closet, there is still that need to be seen and known for who we are. Those needs don't go away just because someone is closeted.

Closeted people will often go out of their way to share as much as they possibly can about who they really are, right up to the line where they'd be fully outed.

Coming out is also not just a 'one and done' thing. It is a gradual process, and one that has to be repeated over and over again as the circle of 'those who know' expands over time. I talked about that in more detail here. The best way I can express it is to say,

people will be as 'out' as they are able to be at any given time.

For some people, being out among friends and family and showing some small under-the-radar expressions of Pride will be their personal safe limit. For others it might just be wearing a rainbow bracelet, or wearing their lover's scarf. That safe limit will often expand or shift over time. Sometimes it will even shrink. There's definitely such a thing as 'being thrown back/deeper into the closet'.

They might not be able to make a post sharing photos from a hiking trip they took together, but they can share enough information to ensure turtles know they took that trip (a special moment for both of them, not just turtles). They might not be able to post boasts and praise about their partner's successes and milestones, but they can in subtle ways express their joy so that those who know, know, and so their partner witnesses their praise. They might not be able to openly put their names side by side on charitable works, but turtles will do it for them.

GG and DD are in the unique position of having millions of people who believe they're a couple. While I'm sure it sometimes makes their experience of being closeted that much more terrifying (considering their relationship is being talked about so openly), I suspect that in most cases it makes their experience of being closeted much more bearable.

It's not just the gesture itself that is sweet. As I said earlier, the public nature of it - the fact that others are witnessing it - adds to the power and significance of it. GG seeing DD wearing a #29 helmet for racing practice on GG's 29th birthday no doubt made GG smile, but it likely also made him doubly happy to see us freaking out over it, and knowing that someone out there knows DD was celebrating him.

As I have said in the past, I feel like turtles probably give them strength as they deal with their day-to-day experience of being closeted and apart most of the time. This is a sentiment LRLG has often expressed, too.

Wishing you strength and support on your journey as well, chaotic-moonlight. There's no right or wrong way to be queer, and no timeline we have to meet. Being closeted in no way invalidates who we are.

Related posts:

Closeted Relationships

Coming Out

What BXG Might Mean to GGDD

About Kadian

Sun Wenjing and coming out in less than ideal circumstances

[usssnarfblat]

Did Anastasia deserve to die for her family's crimes against Fieval's family?

I've always found it interesting that "Anastasia" and "An American Tail" were made by the same guy...

My mom got us "An American Tail" as kids, since we were Jewish, and a Disney-like movie with Jewish characters was a one-of-a-kind thing. ("The Prince of Egypt" was still a few years away. Yes, I'm that old.) More to the point, my dad's side of the family is largely Russian Jews, who immigrated in the early 1920s, for exactly the same reasons as the Mouskewitz. Being a child of this background and very literally obsessed with cats, I had mixed feelings about the movie.

When "Anastasia" came out a few years later, Mom didn't let that history stop us from enjoying the new princess movie, but she didn't shelter us from it either. We regarded it like we did the real history behind any sugar-coated princess movie. She even got us some history books about the real Romanov family, and we were fascinated by the subject.

Still, it's an odd elephant in the room, watching "Anastasia" and knowing that her granddad was the one who sent those Cossack cats after Fievel's village, and her dad himself continued doing it to the Jewish mice who didn't leave.

"Go, Pompom, Kibble and Fluff-Baron! Kill those Jew mice, and I'll give you extra catnip treats tonight!"

Don Bluth presents both the Romannov family and their victims with equal sympathy, even opening both movies with the family celebrating a holiday, with the kid heroes getting a plot-specific present, before being viciously attacked.

"Wow Grandmama! Fieval and Tanya could use this as a merry-go-round!"

*Cough* "Yes uh, about those Jewish mice Sweetie..."

Bluth's portrayal of the Romanov family is not entirely inaccurate. By all accounts, Nicholas II was a deeply loving father who both doted on his children, but raised them not to be spoiled. Despite being royalty, the princesses shared bedrooms and did charity work at hospitals.

It's a baffling irony that Nicholas was nevertheless was a tyrant, and not remotely just to his Jewish subjects. When I was about twelve, Mom got me the Dear America book A Coal Miner's Bride, about the Catholic Polish immigrants who also fled the oppression of the Russian Tzar. (Anastasia's family conquered part of Poland in the 1800s, banning the Pols from speaking their own language and drafting their sons into the Tzar's dick-measuring contest wars.) Anyway, that's what my mom's side of the family was fleeing when they immigrated. Yes, my family has double reason to hate the Romanovs.

So, I personally don't have a lot of sympathy for Nicholas II. But the horrors his poor wife and children endured in their final moments never fails to get the reaction from me.

The rationalization for the murder of the children and queen was that it was the only way to ensure that the monarchy never returned. But I assume most modern-thinking people would say that the ends do not justify the means in this case.

That said, millions of families like Anetka's and Fievel's suffered as bad or worse than the Romanovs, because of the Romanovs, and no one remembers them because they didn't wear tiaras. This no doubt was another factor that killed sympathy for the Romanov children. But they were still children.

The question today is, if we can feel for a family that was literal royalty, despite their father being an undeniable tyrant against our own families...can we also feel for Palestinian and Israeli families, during a conflict that is vastly more complicated than Imperial Russia?

Or do they need to be cute mice and glittery princesses to get our attention?

[mae-i-scribble]

Seeing that one reblog of yours about the manhwa I Became The Male Lead's Adopted Daughter really intrigued me! Is it a good one? 👀

Funny story about that, after your reblog brought the post to my attention again and after talking with a friend on discord about stories that subvert tropes I just went back and reread that entire manhwa up to the end of season 2 so this is great timing XD. Im summary: It's absolutely worth your time if you're a fan of father/isekaied daughter fantasy, if you're an isekai manhwa fan in general, or if you just want a well made fantasy father daughter story. Its fantastical concepts are handled with a grounded maturity that most stories in the same genre just don't manage to pull off because it takes the time to truly flesh out its characters as human being first and any tropes last.

The long story is below the cut, I'll be discussing vague spoilers throughout seasons 1 and 2. (side note, im using the official TL names for this bc i like em better)

I Became the Male Lead's daughter has a lot going for it, first of which being Pelliot, the cold duke of the north who adopts Lionia from the orphanage. Most manhwa of this nature have the isekaied person be our main pov with brief glimpses into the parent's perspective, usually done more for plots sake or to comment on how strange the isekaied child is acting. Pelliot shares the protagonist spotlight with Lionia because this story is about both of them concurrently- in fact, we don't even get a look int Lionia's head to find out she's been isekaied until chapter 8(i think, either way its after chapter 5). Before that we get to know her from how Pelliot and the people at the estate see her. Which is such a refreshing take for me, especially when you consider that Pelliot while a stereotypical "violent and competent northern duke who becomes a parent" in theory, is actually played out in a grounded way. The reason he even wanted a child is because he's feeling lonely and he sees how his best friend (yes!! our cold duke has friendships!! and they're super sweet!!) is so happy with 2 children, that he goes about getting a child in the most pragmatic way possible. He is violent and regularly commits war crimes, but he isn't cruel to his staff or his knights as is standard fair for these archetypes. (Can't say the manhwa avoids classist tropes, but such is the way when you have noble protagonists and don't want to make them look complicit in a degrading class system but overall things are handled well enough in that regard). Pelliot, in his fatherhood, also avoids falling into trope traps yet again by being a very believable first time parent. He struggles to adjust to Lionia's emotional needs but is learning, he goes to his knights for advice, he's studying Lionia and trying to make sure she gets a proper childhood and does his best to protect her from further exposure to violence beyond what happens with the abusive orphanage staff. They have a believable banter and play off each other to a scary degree, and while he loves her and worries for her he isn't an overbearing protective trope either. I feel like this is already too long but like. He's such a cool protag to have in a genre that tends to have very narrow and singular dynamics of parent/child relationships. And this isn't even talking about the other relationships we see him have with his peers which are just as good.

Moving onto our other protagonist, Lionia, the post made by @living-as-the-enemy-prince HERE (which clearly you have read but in case other curious souls want to look at it) sums a large part of what makes her work. This is a story that fully realizes its concept to the most effective degree. And I love in turn the story addresses the trauma that comes with being reincarnated- not only from a "i miss my home and family and friends" but from the inherent trauma of being an adult only to one day become a child. Lionia didn't get a chance to rest, she was thrown into a life of abuse, all her agency stolen from her, forced to look after the other orphans because she was the only one who could thus she felt responsible. That sort of disruptive event isn't something that can be brushed off, and it shows in the way Lionia is deeply insecure about her relationship to Pelliot. In this way their dynamic is made equivalent from both sides- in many stories its almost one sided, with the parent figuring out this relationship naturally and the isekaied child playing things 'for the story' and only recognizing the relationship theyve built later (thank you wmmap for helping solidify that -_-). It's truly so well thought out and every aspect of the central relationship feels so natural.

As for the story at large, I'm very excited to see what the plot has in store. As of season 2 of the manhwa, we're only just starting to kick things off plot wise, up until now its been far more concerned with relationship building and giving us a foundation on these characters. But things are definitely cooking now that we've heard mention Baria- the protagonist of the novel Lionia read in her past life (I could probably write another blurb about how well that is being handled but this post is so long already so). On that note though, don't be worried about that "oh but i have to follow the original plot against all common sense and reason" trope bc that doesn't matter at all here. Lionia has her concerns when it comes to the story, some of her insecurities stem from the fact that Pelliot never had a daughter in it, mentioned or otherwise, but at the end of the day she doesn't give a shit, she just wants her dad to have a happy and peaceful life.

Tbh anyone who hasn't read this should absolutely give it a chance bc I haven't even mentioned half the things I find cool about it like all the side characters that I love or the empress storyline that I am eyeing with extreme interest, etc etc

[anxiousnerdwritings]

(Based off of something I mentioned in this ask)

Oh Deary,

I’m so sorry. So so so very sorry. I hadn’t ever meant any harm when I signed that god forsaken petition but when Arthur had come home one day from work and mentioned that there was word of an obscurus going around I panicked. Not only that but that the obscurus was going to be brought in to take a position at Hogwarts, among our children. A flurry of fear, worry and outrage was going around regarding the whole situation but Arthur wasn’t worried about it. He had trust in Albus and if Albus was invested in it then it couldn’t be nearly as awful as everyone was making it seem. And I should have shared that same trust but I couldn’t. Not when my children were involved. I had let fear and anxiety regarding the topic consume me and I took action against Arthur’s reassurance. And I took action against you without even knowing.

My main concern had been for my children and their safety. That was all I could think of. And honestly, I had felt so much relief after I signed that petition that I hadn’t thought twice about it again. I had taken action and with knowing that I did something for the sake of my children, I felt content.

When the new school year started, one of he first things Percy did was notify us that there was indeed an obscurus at Hogwarts and made part of the staff, assisting the groundskeeper with bits and bobs. And also about how Fred and George had taken to befriending the said obscurus. I had immediately been plagued with that same feeling of worry and anxiety all over again. Of course, Fred and George would do something like that! But as I continued to read Percy’s letter he spoke so positively about the obscurus, about you.

You were nothing like anyone had presumed you to be or made you seem, you were someone just surviving and living with what they had been dealt with. Given what all Percy was saying, I felt all the overwhelming and intense emotions fleeting away. I was glad he could shine some light on this situation and give us some ease to know that all our children were going to be safe and sound.

It wasn’t too long after we received Percy’s letter that we had gotten Fred and George’s letters as well. And their letters certainly made a whole lot of difference to me. They spoke so adoringly of you. It was obvious just how much the two had taken to you and that they were clinging on to you as much as they could. I could feel my own joy bubbling up inside me as I continued to read through their words. But it wasn’t until I saw the pictures that the twins had sent along with their letters that I felt my heart clench. There were a few different pictures of the twins, Ron, Harry, Lee Jordan, and a few others, but it was the ones that had my boys and a new face that garnered my attention.

Reading the back of the photographs I learned that this new face was you. That’s when I learned that you weren’t even all that much older than my own children, you looked to be around Bill and Charlie’s age. I couldn’t help the overwhelming feeling that washed over me in that moment. You were still a child yourself, it didn’t matter how self sufficient you were or that you were taking on an adult role as a staff member at Hogwarts. You were a child.

The obscurus everyone had been so fearful and worried about, the same obscurus I had been so terrified to have my children around, was only a child themself. I took part to get rid of you at Hogwarts. I took action in trying to rip apart the only piece of acceptance or belonging you would ever experience. I had a hand in taking everything away from you; a home, a livelihood, friends, mentors, a family. I couldn’t believe I took part in something that would have such a drastic impact on you when you were only trying to exist.

I had sobbed all night after coming to realize what exactly my taking part in that petition would come to mean. I know Albus had put a stop to it pretty early on but who knew what the repercussions of it would mean if you or anyone else came across it. Every part of me wanted to apologize to you right then and there after coming to realize everything but I didn’t know how. So, all I could muster myself to do was tell Fred and George to invite you to join us for the next upcoming year’s holiday break. I would welcome you into our home, into our family with warm open arms.

When the holiday break came rolling around and the fated day you would be arriving was growing nearer and nearer, I was running around trying to make everything perfect. It wasn’t though, nothing ever really was perfect in our home but I tried and when you got here you were an absolute delight. You didn’t mind anything and were more than happily content with our home and what it had to offer. You had just been so excited to be invited over at all and that made me want to envelope you in all the love I had to give.

I had decided from that moment that you were completely and utterly, irrevocably a part of our lives. And I wouldn’t have it any other way. Fred, George, Ron, Harry, Ginny, Arthur and even Percy all adored you to no end. And I couldn’t help but to do the same. In such a short amount of time you became something truly special to us all.

…Only for it to all come crashing down…

I’m not even sure if you will bother reading this but I just want you to know how truly sorry I am, (Name). I don’t know how that petition got to you or where it came from given that Albus had gone to great lengths to erase any trace of it, but I am so sorry you had to see it. I can’t ever forgive myself for my actions and the fact that they have caused you so much hurt. I don’t expect you to forgive me either but please don’t hold anything against the kids. They are all so worried about you since you left Hogwarts. The other teachers at the school have also shared their overwhelming concern for you given that you haven’t answered anyone’s letters. Even, Albus hasn’t heard from you for awhile, it’s even been rumored that you up and left the place he had made a home just for you and that has him noticeably anxious. Not to mention, Hagrid isn’t holding up all too well either.

Please, I know I’m not one to ask anything of you especially not now, but would you please let someone, anyone know that you are okay. And if you’re not then please tell us. We just want to know what’s going on and that you’re safe. Please.

With love,

Molly

[makingspiritualityreal]

Hello Jade, I'm curious what do you think about synastry rising conjunct descendant (6 degree) and mc conjunct ic (9 degree) because of opposite rising? I thought the degree must be less than 5 so we can said it conjunct.

Rising Sign Compatibility

That is actually an interesting question, worthy of a deeper answer.

It's going to create some differences and possibly misunderstandings, but also a strong attraction, because of the whole "opposites attract" effect. Degrees here matter less, what matters is that the ascendent is in the opposite sign (whole signs ppl, remember!), and so it is gonna have an opposing sign ruling matters of each house cusp.

As a result, you will get people with a totally contrasting approach to life. In matters where one person will be shy, the other will be take charge and vice versa, where one is emotional, the other will be logical etc. That is very developing, because it creates the whole 7th house "unseen mirror" completion dynamic, one person's differences will "complete" the other. So there will be always a lot of learning and challenging development in this kind of connection.

However, people who send these kind of questions forget one thing. Ascendants matter, of course, but there is also the question of individual synastry and ascendent rulership, which can turn out quite funny.

What does it mean in practice? Say you pair an Aries Rising and a Libra Rising. For one, the ascendant ruler will be Mars, the other Venus. And let's say the Ascendant Ruler is in Capricorn for both. So even though Mars in Capricorn will be in the 10th and Venus in Capricorn for the other person will be in the 4th, they may have a lot in common regarding how they meet their goals. For example, even though they will have different roles and aspirations, they can meet in a similar public setting, through work or any goal-setting endeavour. They would have different places within that setting, but more in common than you would think for opposite ascendants.

Based on the same principle, you can have people with the same Rising but different rising rulers go about life completely differently. I actually have this situation in my marriage, we're both Scorpio rising but my Mars is in Cancer and my husband's in Virgo, and because of the house cusp difference, he realises himself more in sports group settings (because 11th house) and I realise myself more in spiritual teaching, astrology etc (because 9th house). I can see that very well in contrast, because I used to room with someone who had both the same ascendant lord and rising sign as me, and our similar focus on online writing, teaching and content sharing was astounding despite other significant chart differences. You just end up going about your goals in a similar way as opposed to a different way, when your rising disposes into the same sign.

Does any of that guarantee good friendship/love/family relationship? No, which brings me to my last and most important point. Planets in each other's respective houses will make or break a relationship. At the end of the day it matters less where the other person's rising sign falls for them, but it matters more where their planets fall in YOUR chart because that's how they're gonna affect you and vice versa. It's the astrological theory behind the reality of "people see what they wanna see". So you may have a great chart filled with auspicious planets in positive houses, but because of a rising difference it can fall in the other person's 6th house for example, and bam, they think you're argumentative, not because you did something but because of how THEY perceive the world.

And to be fair, they have the right to feel that way, because no one wants planets falling in their 6, 8 or 12th houses, as it energetically feels like its bringing hardship to their life and we have the right to be around people that make us feel good and help us progress in our life, even if it's totally subjective.

[waitmyturtles]

HYPERBOLIC SPOILERS FOR THE PHENOMENAL SECOND EPISODE OF OS2 x BBS x ATOTS

Can I feel so much in just one sitting?! Besides the UTTER giddiness of yesterday’s episode, at least for today, I think I have some actual, sensible, legible analysis to offer. I’m really moved, almost to tears.

I mean, as I blogged just a few minutes ago, part 4/4 of this second episode WILL go down in history in my heart as OBVIOUSLY some of the BEST, most STUNNING content in the HISTORY of anatomical and muscular analysis filmmaking. Yes. 

I’m seeing on Twitter some grumpiness for the comedy of this all (the girlies want more woop woop?! I mean?!), but I seriously think this whole crossover set up and the way it’s been written is brilliant. And I don’t think this is just for fun. 

But first, regarding the comedy and some other one-off points -- I mean, I knew that all four of these guys would be great, but their comedic TIMING, with the writing, is spectacular. They clearly had a FANTASTIC time filming this, and you can see it -- while they didn’t have much time to actually film it, it’s so well done.

I really want to call it, I really want to see it, I wanna see more subverting of the ships, and I wanna see these guys do more with each other separately -- I’m excited to see the implications of OhmEarth and NanonMix next week, and I think that Aof might be making a huge point by separating these guys, pairing them up together with others, and mixing shit up, because that’s what he does (especially while I have He’s Coming to Me on the mind soon on my OGMMTVC watchlist). 

Another one-off point: like I wrote yesterday, we’re getting a double-dose of nostalgia, and I also wrote that I haven’t had to wait NEARLY as long as most of y’all for the return of BBS and ATOTS. But that being said, even though I only watched ATOTS last fall, I actually literally nearly cried when I saw the ATOTS flashbacks and heard the music. Because the way that show was designed in 2021 (I got so much OGMMTVC on my mind) -- those motifs WERE designed to imprint themselves in our memories as remarkable for a kind of cinematic, bildungsroman BL that we weren’t used to seeing back then. That show was nostalgic not JUST for the damn ship, but for Pha Pun Dao, for Chiang Mai, for the Thailand that Aof celebrates vis à vis EarthMix in ATOTS and Moonlight Chicken. 

It’s gorgeous, and he knows what he’s doing by putting PatPran in that mix -- another couple at a different stage of their relationship, with a background and shared struggles that are different than TianPhupha’s, but that still offer both freshness AND nostalgia to the backbone story of ATOTS.

What’s moving me about these first two episodes reflects on what I just wrote -- this is no longer a story about Bad Buddy or ATOTS. This is a story about two couples going through their shit. Pat and Pran have ALWAYS been about going through their shit. We went through a A LOT of SHIT with them, including forward flashes after they graduated and seeing how they were faring in their long-distance relationship. 

Remember: we haven’t spent ANY time with Tian and Phupha in their relationship yet, ABSOLUTELY NONE. They smooched once on the hill, we saw them cuddle, and Oishii sent us off. So we’re JUST finding out, NOW, how they’re faring, and we get thrown in a fight.

A fight that’s similar to the kinds of struggles that Pat and Pran have already shown us and are showing us now. Tian wants Phupha to see a slice of HIS life in Bangkok. Tian wants Phupha to yield a little, to stop being so stubborn. 

Pat wants Pran to open up more. Pat KNOWS why Pran keeps everything so close to the chest. Pat is SO USED to being the balancing effect of their relationship, to push forward, to pull back, but to ALWAYS HOLD PRAN DOWN AND REMAIN AS PRAN’S ROCK, because Pran has not had the same kind of large family structure as Pat could rely on in his childhood and doesn’t know how to take emotional risks. Pat knows this and works hard on balancing it out.

But Pat can go overboard, right, and that’s partly why Pran drove away to Pha Pun Dao -- to prove to himself that he could complete this project on his own, but also, flirtingly, knowing that Pat would ultimately be by his side, and to play the competitive games that these guys always play with each other, because they’re still college dudes with bones to pick. 

What we’re seeing is BOTH COUPLES FINDING THEMSELVES IN THEIR MATURING GROWTH STAGES OF THEIR RELATIONSHIPS. 

Hello, mic check, there’s something happening here in Our Skyy 2. WHAT HAPPENED IN THE ECLIPSE EPISODES?

Same damn thing, the same damn thing that pissed the girlies off before. WE’RE SEEING AWLLLLLL THESE GUYS IN THE GROWTH STAGES OF THEIR RELATIONSHIPS. Akk was frustrated by all the expressions of care that Ayan is overabundant with. Ayan WANTS Akk to RECEIVE the care, because the RECEPTION OF CARE IS the signal, the trigger, the MEANING of the relationship for Ayan -- it tells Ayan, when I care for you, Akk, I AM SHOWING YOU MY LOVE FOR YOU, and that’s how *I* DEMONSTRATE IT.

Tian: Phupha, come with me to Bangkok.

Pran: Pat, let me do this by myself.

Akk: Ayan, I don’t need as much care as you’re giving me, it’s too much.

Phupha: You’re making only about me being madly in love with you.

Pat: I want to help you, my boyfriend.

Ayan: This is how I show my love for you, Akk. 

Y’all. Aof, Golf, these filmmakers. QUEER RELATIONSHIPS ARE RELATIONSHIPS THAT DESERVE THE INVESTMENT AND RESPECT OF EMOTION AND GROWTH IN ART. Not all queer art/BLs need to be about the thrills and frills of the first kiss, of the first sex, of the first whatever. We’re expecting these guys to live together forever in fiction, right? Aof and Golf and the other homies are saying -- kk, girlies, we’ll give you the fan service, alright, but we’re going to show you HOW WE, AS THE QUEER COMMUNITY, DURING PRIDE, GET THERE IN OUR OWN RELATIONSHIPS, TOO, messy details and all. Shit.

Here’s something from reality. I’m the youngest girl of my Indian family -- I was not equal to my older siblings at all, expected to fail, treated as if I didn’t know how to function in society. Y’all can predict what happened. Your gal got a great career, a great family, a husband, the whole thing.

So when I first met my husband, I’m riding my life on my own -- paying my own rent, my own bills, everything. I had already proved I didn’t need my birth family for anything.

But what I didn’t consider during those first years of the relationship was the following: my future husband’s love language was dependence. He was certainly IMPRESSED by dating a woman who had her shit together. BUT. He WANTED me to DEPEND on him, AT LEAST emotionally, if not for other things. I wasn’t going to like, quit my job for a relationship, but -- I was ALSO having REAL trouble DEPENDING on him emotionally.

Like Pran, maybe. I didn’t trust trusting anyone emotionally, because that was a paradigm already created by my family in my upbringing. I had TRAINED myself to NOT need emotional feedback from ANYONE romantically, because I learned to survive in other ways.

Of course, with great communication AND TIME (TIME), I came around and learned to lean on him and trust him.

Aof and Golf are giving their couples the benefits of growth and time to make the relationships better, and stronger, and working, and functioning, and I can’t emphasize enough how REAL THIS IS. 

That’s what these episodes are giving me. I WANT TO SEE MORE BLs with established relationships (@bengiyo, @lurkingshan, @wen-kexing-apologist: WHAT DID YOU EAT YESTERDAY FTW). I want to see contextual heartache. I want to see fights. I want to see tears. I want to see snottiness and shittiness and passive aggression, because all of that is worth examining in human emotional art. 

That’s real, that’s worth reflecting in art, and I see Aof and Golf doing this on purpose to give RESPECT to the emotional structures that they’ve created in their work. 

I’m having so much fucking fun with these episodes, but I should have expected this, I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN, that Aof would already render me an emotional mess as well. It always happens. That it’s happening to our BELOVED COUPLES, AT THE START OF PRIDE, I’m just like. We’re just so blessed to have this art to enjoy.

[scarlet--wiccan]

Hello! I wanted to ask a potentially hardish question. How do you feel about non-Romani engaging with Tarot, doing paid reads, and such? Do you think it's okay for everyone to partake in it? Would you at least want people to be more informed of its origins?

My general attitude, when it comes to anything related to magic, fortunetelling, etc, is that we should be focusing more on cultural restitution and historical authenticity than trying to make a list of who can do what. When it comes to tarot, there's a lot to learn, and a lot to unpack in both of those areas. The short answer is that I don't believe that tarot is, or should be, a closed practice. There is, however, is a deep legacy of racism in the evolution of tarot as a fixture of mainstream culture, and the fortunetelling industry is rife with Romani exploitation. I believe that understanding this, and integrating it into your actions and conduct, is key to developing an ethically and spiritually holistic practice. And I think that applies to all forms of magic and spirituality-- racism and colonialism are very common in magical spaces where historical understanding is not encouraged.

If this is something you'd like to learn more about, I would highly encourage you to pre-order Secrets of Romani Fortuntelling, which is an upcoming book written by my friend Jezmina von Thiele and their Romanistan cohost, Paulina Stevens. Preorders make a huge difference for small publishers and new authors.This book is an authentic new look at fortunetelling practices in Romani culture and I, personally, think everybody who reads tarot needs to buy a copy.

If you'd like to receive a reading from a Romani practictioner, I am running a donation drive for Palestinian families and offering online tarot readings with personalized writeups and graphics as rewards.

My understanding is that tarot, and cartomancy in general, are closely tied to Romani culture and history because they were trades that Romani families developed and practiced as a form of survival work*. The same is true for several other types of fortunetelling and folk magic practices. There is an element of cultural preservation and ancestral custom in a lot of these skills, but ultimately, this is something that was meant to be shared with non-Roma, so it's not a closed practice, in that regard. And it's worth mentioning, of course, that many of these skills and devices were adapted from existing aspects of Western culture. The original tarot deck was, after all, just a set of European playing cards.

Over the centuries, tarot has really taken on a life of its own outside of Romani society, as both a popular practice and object of cultural fascination. There are other cultures who practice divination and fortunetelling for very similar reasons, and because tarot is so universally known, it's become a tool that is shared by many, and I think it informs the way folks approach cartomancy even when they're using other devices. And I think that's really beautiful! Unfortunately, there is also a more painful part of this history that also needs to be acknowledged.

Most modern tarot decks, and much of the basis for how we read them, are the products of 19th & 20th century occult and esoteric movements in the West, which often held an Orientalist fixation on Romani, Jewish, Middle Eastern and East Asian cultures. When you look at the works of Levi, Crowley, Waite, and so forth, you'll find a lot of fabricated histories and colonial fantasies about these cultures, and that informed the symbology with which they designed the formative modern decks we know today as the Thoth and Waite-Smith tarot. In my opinion, Jewish and Romani peoples were the most heavily exploited by this movement. It just goes to show how deeply our histories a diasporic people are connected.

Here in America, many states have legislation intended to police or even outlaw the fortunetelling trade, and you will often find that these laws are based in anti-Romani racism. Furthermore police are known to profile Romani citizens and families as scammers, and a lot of the language used to describe these "scams" in both police documents and the media employs racist language and stereotypes. Despite this, non-Roma, particularly white people, are often able to turn fortunetelling into a lucrative business by using their privilege to safely navigate the legal system's impositions-- and many of these white people love nothing more than to dress up in an approximation of Romani costume in order to give themselves an exotic, mystical air-- just like Levi and Crowley before them.

So, it's my opinion that the modern fortunetelling industry and the last several generations of tarot knowledge were built, both directly and indirectly on Romani oppression. People need to understand this history, and their place in it, in order to understand how they, personally, have arrived at their own relationship with tarot. Once you do understand that, you can begin to incorporate anti-racist intention and action into your practice. If you want suggestions, providing historical acknowledgement and Romani resources to your clients is a great place to start. Being an ally and being in community with us in our fight for human rights is even better. If you own a business or a shop, you can divest yourself from problematic suppliers, or learn how to identify racist books and decks, and stop selling them. Make sure you're not exploiting or perpetuating Romani stereotypes and call other people out on it, too. And if it's possible, really reevaluate the way you have arrived at your understanding of the cards, and how you communicate with them. Look past information that has been sold to you and seek personal authenticity. You'll be a better reader for it.

*What I am describing here is not a universal experience. Some people and some families practice these trades, not all. Romani people are not a monolith, and this is not a defining aspect or Romani culture.

[darkwood-sleddog]

Thank you for bringing up the CDC changes. I had no idea. I’m on the southern border and drive across to Mexico for errands, family, travel … I cross around 10x per year. Sometimes I bring my dogs. I also have transported rescue animals to vets across the border. We bring rabies vaccine proof but documentation is never requested by border authorities. One time when I had puppies they just asked how many puppies, I guess 3 was okay. To go from that to these new policies is very surprising, even hard to believe. I can’t imagine they were thinking of our border culture when they made these decisions. It’s a privilege to travel freely and benefit from the exchange rate in MX. I’m concerned how this all plays out and what it means for us. I’ll try calling the representatives and doing the petition, thanks for that.

It's absolutely my pleasure to talk about these things and I'm glad you found my posts beneficial in some way. There has been ZERO consideration for the cross border culture that is established at both of the United State's shared borders and especially zero consideration for the Canadians and Mexicans that cross into the United States on a frequent and legal basis to spend money in our economy etc. AND the people living in enclave communities that have to cross just to go to work, groceries, etc. I know people that live in the United States and have vets in Canada, which they now cannot bring their puppies to. Sometimes this is the closest vet to some rural communities.

I have the exact same experience you have in that border patrol has not once, not ever asked to look at my extensive paperwork. I keep a three ring binder for each dog with their entire medical history and they constantly tell me that it is unneeded. When I did the containment agreement with Sigurd as a puppy I was so nervous that I didn't have all my paperwork in order (I did) and that they wouldn't let me cross with him. They didn't even look at my CDC issued containment agreement paperwork, didn't even make issue with the fact it was a puppy too young for a rabies vaccine. It seems silly to think they wouldn't try actually educating and requiring border control to ask for these things and be a bit more strict with what's coming in before moving to such an extreme as we see now.

From what I saw from the draft of the "why we did this" that went around the reasoning they say they are making these rules blanketed across all countries with no nuance is to "streamline" things. To me it is flat out lazy to do this, reads as they don't feel like training border control on how to work with any sort of nuance in regards to CDC regulations. It's ridiculous. It also reads like they don't want to actual try and curb retail rescues falsifying paperwork and bringing in diseased dogs beyond these sort of over arching regulations. There's a lot that can be done, but doing what they've done is not the way. The rescues falsifying paperwork will still do so unless true action and consequences are given.

[wondermacaroni]

Happy 4/13!! Since I’ve been posting group doodles lately, it was obligatory that we draw something to celebrate. Mine is in green (except for the shading, lol). Some thoughts on my history with Homestuck and my reread of the comic with friends are under the cut.

I’ll say preemptively, forgive me if the paragraph spacing is wonky. I don’t post a lot of big text posts, if any at all, so I have no idea if this will show up in a bearable to read format or not. Anyways.

I first read Homestuck on an early morning in April, soon before that year’s 4/13 and a little ways out from my 14th birthday in late May. I hadn’t slept at all that night, and my normal internet circles had slowed to a crawl as the sun began to rise. Bored out of my mind and too energized to sleep, I decided it was finally time to check out that one webcomic that I had seen some people post cool art for.

To keep it simple, I had a pretty big scare in the family that same day I started reading. Everything ended up and has been just fine regarding that, but I think it cemented Homestuck in my mind as a way to process things somehow. Now that I’m about to graduate college, I’ve returned to needing to process things, and of course, my way to process it.

So, one night a month or two ago, I’m looking into some Homestuck browser game (shoutouts to Wigglersim) when my friend asks what it’s about. I get a little clammy, but I do mention the game, Homestuck and all. Imagine my surprise when they ask for a link to check it out as well.

I could hear the interest egging me on like the Green Goblin mask at that point.

Over the next few days, we went from the browser game, to the doll maker, to installing the collection, to almost-nightly streams of our read-along with the comic. It has been a BLAST so far. Sure, we probably could have blazed through on our own much faster. But having someone there to break things down and engage with, especially for a work like Homestuck, has made the whole ordeal even more enjoyable overall.

To be honest with you, I could never really get myself to reread Homestuck before then. I had the collection installed on my laptop but I could never get past some feeling of shame that came with opening it, or even looking at it for too long. Even when I had finally forced myself to get comfortable with Homestuck Posting or die trying, the thought of fully reengaging and not dwelling in the bliss of memories was a little too much.

Having a friend there, one who has been willing to engage despite it all, has made the reread much less daunting. Despite all of my warnings of the future like a frenzied oracle, I’ve been able to expose that long-hidden soft spot after all these years. It’s like unclenching your jaw, in a way.

The time we’ve spent taking it all in has REALLY spurred us to put something out lately as well. Every turn of the New Year, my friends and I boot up a group canvas and collaborate on one big slab of doodles. Lately though, I’ve been wanting to do that a lot more, and so have my friends. With the reread, I finally decided to rip off the bandage and do something I hadn’t really done as a teen first reading through Homestuck— I decided to make some fanart.

It felt like uncorking champagne. Though it was probably more akin to uncorking sparkling grape juice. Whatever. I hadn’t done it, I did it, and it felt GOOD to do it. You get it. If nothing else, waiting to draw that fanart for eight some odd years meant that I didn’t have any old drawings to painfully reflect on, for better or for worse.

I don’t like doing much other than lurking. However, with all of the drawings we had made, it’d be a shame not to share them beyond like ten people. My friend started posting some, to some really surprising amounts of engagement, at least for us. I followed in suit for support, and I’ve seen much of the same myself. It’s intimidating to be perceived, but it has been nice to shake hands with the community from the other side of my normal lurking perspective. Thank you meowrails fans for your support, maybe I’ll cook again soon, who knows?

We’ve now gotten to the point in the comic where this reread just becomes a read, and right before 4/13. I never finished the comic past the second Alterniabound flash, though I’ve picked up on little spoiler things here and there. I’m excited, I’m nervous, I can’t wait to see what horrible ick I’ll get next.

With streaming this to my friend, I have accidentally convinced more friends to look into Homestuck as well. The network slowly grows, and with it, another ticket is reserved for a group movie night of Con Air. I can’t wait to see how it goes.

Anyways, that’s all for my yapping. Have a happy 4/13, consider a reread with friends, and thank you for your interest in my lecture if you’re reading or skimming through this.

[diavory]

My thoughts on Obey Me! NB

A VERY deep dive so please beware of spoilers! 🩷

Get comfy because this is gonna be long 🫡

First of all, the beginning just tells you this is going to be one hell of a storyline :D also, feel free to add your teories and thoughts!

So we know is canon that this story continues from lesson 80.

Lesson 80 MC is someone who has lived a lot of moments, grown and get to love the characters in the game (especially your love interest, in general, we know we share a deep bond of mutual trust, love and care. It is something shown on many, many events, devilgrams and the main storyline!)

This is why this whole situation feels so painful.

And now they are back to square 0, in a time where they didn't exist, surrounded by familiar faces that don't remember them (minus Solomon) and now they don't have time to grieve the emotional pain of this huge change because they gotta survive.

We are back to being suspicious, unwelcomed, back to being a potential threath to 7 brothers who just became demons and are on a huge unstable situation where they can't afford to take any risks.

Is even sadder when you see MC's dialogues on some lessons, how they want to act as they used to, to greet them as they already know us when they don't.

The 7 brothers are different, same as the Angels and Diavolo with Barbatos; Lucifer's character is so interesting here because he is full of fear, regret, and yet his pride makes him take the burden of all of this on his own to protect his family, this is why him allowing us near was such an important matter and how his trust was broken so fast once we showed how much of a threath we can be (the Ring Of Light adding a HUGE amount of suspicious to the sus level ngl).

We see how the brothers even look a bit relieved to have someone, a demon, with them. Whether out of convenience to have someone that knows how things work, someone who can assist them, guide them or just of a need of a friend in a land where the other demons are being hostile towards them for being former angels. MC represents a sense of security, confort, even when it comes from an unknown person who seems to be too powerful to be a simple demon.

Regarding their sins

I find it fascinating.

They can feel how the sins that were associated to them are now becoming a heavier influence on their acts, way of thinking and personality. Which only serves as a reminder that they are no longer angels, a reality they haven't come to terms with and struggle to accept.

Probably the reason of this being the many, many, maaaaaany insecurities they have acumulated on the year following their fall. Did they do the right thing? Was there a second option? How would things look if they did ____ different? Would there be a day when they feel at home?

Talking about this, let us move to focus on Mammon for a bit.

Our first man may not be the powerful first born, or as smart as Satan. But he cares for his brothers, A LOT. Mammon has shown multiple times that even if he denies it he worries, he doesn't want his brothers to be looked down upon, he KNOWS Lucifer is struggling to keep everything under control, he knows everything is too much. We've seen in the OG game too how he worries about the people he cares, going extra miles to be able to help, even if he sometimes fails and he feels bad for it.

Our boy knows his limits on how he can't resolve everyone's problems, and yet he tries. I really loved the moment when he explains that he wants to tame Cerberus so the 7 can live a better life, not because he wants a treasure. How he can't keep letting others make them feel less, the Devildom is their home now, and he knows the only way that others would accept them is by making them respect them.

How so?

Becoming the rulers.

This lesson where they go to find Cerberus is one of my favorites without a doubt, you can see how they are a family :")

Talking about family, let's move to our newborn, Satan!

Oh Diavolo.

We know how Satan has always struggled with him being born after Lucifer. He is probably older than most of the brothers, having lived inside of Lucifer, watching the World through his eyes, becoming the anger that he was building inside.

And yet he despises the feeling of being nothing for than Lucifer's shadow. His own perception of him as an individual is fragile, becoming easily unstable and having a hard time keeping this controlled. He yerns to find himself, who he really is but he is scared too, confused, being tossed around on a new place, treated like... well, a demon, to keep him from harming someone.

Was this the best decision?

No.

But giving how everything that was happening around them was too much... We can call preventive messsures? We know Barbatos and Diavolo can and will take actions if someone dares to be a potential danger for the Devildom, and a powerfull demon who has yet to learn how to control themselves because well, he has only existed on a physical form for a year, may have the brother on a tough position.

I really love for the lesson where he finds the little cat, he just seems at peace and is quick to ask MC to please leave so he can be alone. I really like how he took the time to understand the little creature in front of him, one of the first times we see him so calm.

Talking about controlling emotions, let's look at Asmo for a quick second.

Our brightest star, the jewel lf the heavens is now struggling to see his light. He can feel how tense the situation is, and is seen many times trying to cheer up his brothers, being a positive energy for them, always smiling to bring smiles back. He now has the power to charm, but the beautiful demon can't stand his reflection in the mirror and secretly yearns for the beautiful white wings.

Asmo grieves in very subtle ways, like focusing in what he was know for: his beauty; or decorating his room in the most beautiful way, even requesting Lucifer to add a window that wss not there to his room. Asmo has a hard time getting used to the obscure Devildom, where the night shines unlike the Celestial Realm where everything is pristine, pure, and well, celestial. That's why he fell easily for Raphael's illusion of him saying they can go back to being Angels. Seeing Simeon and Luke shaked his resolve to keep being positive for their new reality, and I am glad that we are shown all of this side of him; somehow NB makes the Obey Me characters feel more real. They are not perfect.

Which reminds me :)

Solomon. Solomon my dear what the hell are you doing.

He made a pact when Asmo had just experience a very vulnerable state, with major changes happening and without a lot of time to process what making a pact really means.

Yes, they needed a way to survive (dejavù to when MC made a pact with Asmo) but still. HE DID IT TWICE.

He summoned Barbatos too, agains his will. Forced him to obey and even Asmo got a bit uneasy after seeing the power of the pact in action. Yes, Barbatos sent Solomon far away but REALLY!?

What the hell Solomon did to piss Barbatos THIS much. I read that it may be related to the time where Solomon fought the Devildom? I kind of forgot how it goes but, I really hope we would learn more about this.

Listen, let's talk about this sorcerer a bit more. I may be a simp for him but I see the 🚩

First, he traced after us, and honestly I am grateful that MC has someone to rely on instead of being alone in this new time. He already knew the main characters so that helped a lot to cover up any first suspicious we could have raised, after all, we know that Solomon is smart, maybe way too smart.

Jokes aside on him having his honeymoon phase, I belive that MC feels at ease around him. We have the options to trust his judgement and his decisions, he already met the versions of the characters, so who else could be a better ally?

Solomon is... a complicated character to me. He is a human who has lived far too long to the poing of many times being compared to a demon, a powerfull being with many pacts, one being with Barbatos and that says a lot. Thirteen says she likes his soul, yet something changed once he left the reaper's home and didn't come back in many years, his soul doesn't shine as it did before and she doesn't know why. She sees the same shine on MC, which makes me wonder what happened, what can make a soul change?

Something that is bothering me a lot is that Solomon was asked to pick a side already and he chose humanity. He doesn't mind Diavolo's plan as long as it doesn't damage humans, and honestly; what he said about Diavolo being friendly doesn't mean he sees other races as equals is so interesting to me. What does he know? Whas has he seen?

Yet, I can't help but get an uneasy feeling of something major coming our way, Nightbringer aside. With how unstable the current situation is between the realms, we don't know what we may get ourselves into. And Solomon asking us to please, side with humanity if there ever came a moment where we need to pick a side just seems too direct, as a foreshadow for a battle yet to happen.

He asked MC if they would side with humanity.

MC who feels like the Devildom is their home, who got to love the place, their people and their rules. Who is trusted by them.

But this is a tale of another time, they are not the people MC grew to love as hard as it may feel. This is not the Celestial Realm, the Devildom they met.

Is there a loyalty to be acted upon, when the people it was made for are not there?

Is clear MC wants them to trust them, giving back the grimoire and acting agains what Solomon most likely wanted was the biggest giveaway.

Many times MC was told that them trusting so easily, being so nice with those around them was their biggest virtue and yet their biggest weakness.

Sometimes I wonder if Solomon took an interest on MC because he saw the potential of them. He saw an ally, finally a human he could rely on.

Let's head into our next contestants!

The twins.

We can see how they are constantly seen with the other, maybe as a way to process everything that went through, but; as close as they are they have secrets they can't tell to each other, they have regrets that won't leave them alone, and are being tormented by the nightmares of all the things that went wrong.

We see the difference between the way they act, Belphie being more straight forward, not trusting anyone easily and you just know his trust was severely broken, you can see the effects of seeing how giving your all for someone can go oh so wrong, his sister is now dead. He was an older brother once, now he isn't. The only person he was meant to protect is now dead, and he blames humanity.

Beel tries to be the one acting as the middle ground, trying to be the glue, to keep his family, who are his treasure and the people he wants to protect, to keep them together, to keep them close. He struggles a lot with his sin, it affects his daily life, he is aware of how many things can go wrong if he doesn't keep it in check, and we know the least thing he wants to do is end up causing unnecessary trouble, let alone hurt his brothers.

Let us move into Levi now.

He struggles with quickly adapting to new routines, he knows he may be seen as the weakest among the seven, not feeling as if he can shine as bright as them. Being content staying on the shadows where he can be himself.

Let me tell you something, they way the devs handed his lesson where we get to learn how he really feels, his insecurities, how scares he is, how he wishes he could go back to the times where everything was monotonous, simple, to the things he knew.

How he is depressed and doesn't know what to do. Everything on this lesson was so well written that you can understand him, the reason why he does the things he does. And I absolutely love the last part where Lucifer says exactly what Levi needs to hear.

Because after all his family comes first. No matter if he has to go against Diavolo, Levi ends up agreeing to the proposal, but I can't stress enough how important it is that he asked if he was okay with it, reassuring that he could say no. That he didn't need to push his emotions aside and that his opinion matters, HE MATTERS. I may have teared up a bit reading it :')

I love healthy communication.

Okay, before this becomes longer that it needs to be, let me quickly talk about Diavolo and Barbatos.

We know that the og demon King has just recently fallen into his slumber, throwing the weight of being the Devildom's ruler to his son who probably wasn't as prepared as we might think since it is hinted that it was a bit sudden.

We also get to know there are even demons opposed to him becoming the ruler. Diavolo has big plans but has a long way ahead. Thinking about him makes me go back to the OG Obey Me! Lesson where we go with him and Belphie to a theme park in the human work. But I don't wanna give spoilers on this, but I'll leave it with the fact that Diavolo struggles to see sometimes that he is doing something wrong, that maybe he can't use his authority to force someone to do things that they probably don't want to, that there are gonna be cases where he is actually, the one who is mistaken.

Barbatos is there for him, even if we know it was probably Diavolo's request (this was lighly hinted too) he is as efficient as ever, but I can't help but not trust him, don't come at me, I just feel that he knows too much and says too little.

Let us finish with the Angels: Simeon and Luke.

The first time we met Simeon back in the OG game, he already had an understanding of what Diavolo wanted, the wound of loosing his friends and seeing them fall had healed, or at least he no longer felt as if maybe he could have said something to prevent the war, to be able to make them stay.

He keeps his thoughts and ideals to himself, he is trying to recognize his past friends in their new selves, but he is still an Angel, so even if he doesn't feel completely fine with everything, he is going to enjoy being around that people he used to know.

Also, something that I'd like to mention, is that we know that Simeon was demoted for helping Lucifer and his brothers, so let's add that to the list of thing this Angel has to process, alone.

And Luke... he is very similar to the first time we see him on the OG game, making very clear how he thinks of demons and his opinions. I don't really have much to say about him, Lucifer even doesn't seem to know him that well based on what he says when you have it on your DDD's screens.

Anyway, this is all I have to say at the moment I think?

Idk this game is certainly dark.

Thanks for reading! 🩷

[jackwhiteprophetic]

My controversial 9-1-1 opinion is that Buck is one of the least interesting characters on the show. Don’t get me wrong, he is complex and interesting but the type of character he is and oftentimes reduced to (sunshine golden retriever boy, abandonment issues, humour to cope and uses false confidence and cockiness to hide the fact he’s deeply insecure) is common and you can find at least one character in almost any media who pretty much matches that description. Usually those characters are also a fandom favourite and you can never escape them.

The clear favouritism for Buck in the fandom also undermines a lot of the incredible things this show has done for representation. “Omg the white guy kissed another white guy! This is revolutionary and the greatest thing to happen on the show!” (Ik I’m simplifying it).

That’s cool, personally I think one of the greatest things to happen on the show is the representation of an abusive relationship and how that trauma impacts a person for years and isn’t fixed in a night after finding the perfect guy. I also think representing postpartum depression was also quite revolutionary and made my mum feel comfortable enough to open up to me about how she had postpartum depression after my sister was born. Like my mum is 50 years old and this silly firefighter show made her feel seen. THAT’S what representation is for.

Regarding LGBTQ+ representation, I think the HAPPILY MARRIED BLACK LESBIAN COUPLE WITH CHILDREN (Mara we’re getting you home) is something never seen in mainstream media, firstly because there are hardly any sapphic relationships and secondly because those sapphic relationships hardly include women of colour.

This is an ensemble and I feel like a lot of people forget that. I’m also still annoyed that when Buck was confirmed bisexual, major article companies acted like this was the first time 9-1-1 had established 1) a queer character and 2) a queer couple.

Henren ran so BT could stumble around and fall flat on its face.

Interesting... We definitely share some of the same views on things, but I do find Buck really interesting as a character now!!! I find Buck and Eddie soooo interesting mainly because I have read probably millions of words of character study on them. Also when I first watched I didn't find Buck suuuper interesting up until the saviour baby arc, which adds so many layers of complexity to his behaviour across all seasons!!!

I really hope there is a greater focus on Maddie next season!!!! Also I think one of the major flaws with S7, because it was written very quickly and they knew they would have to move scenes across episodes is that they didn't really mix storylines massively, so it wasn't very cohesive and we didn't really get to see the 118 as a whole family properly. The pairings we had were Buck and Eddie, Henren and Madney and Bobby and Athena, and that was kind of consistent throughout. Next season I'm really hoping that they can switch up dynamics at least for a few storylines, BC I miss when we would see scenes of like Buck and Chim, or Athena and Hen, which they stopped doing as much once Bathena happened, because they no longer needed Hen as a link between Athena and the 118. WHICH IS SO SAD! I LOVE THEM SO MUCH.

ALSO SORRY THIS ISNT VERY WELL STRUCTURED BUT CAN THEY LET HENREN BE HAPPY PLEASE!!!! Kind of sick of their storylines being "oh no someone is threatening our family" because it just paints their family as unstable and they don't deserve that!!! I want silly storylines PLEASE!

But yes the centering of Buck (and sometimes the other guy who I will not name BC I don't wanna piss ppl off) by SOME people in the fandom ANGERS ME GREATLY. ESPECIALLY with the whole Gerrard thing, where the comments on the IG post were FLOODED with people talking about Tommy (named him here oh well). And people talking about how everyone is gonna defend Buck because if Gerrard even looks at Buck they're gonna throw hands! I'M SORRY WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU MORE DEFENSIVE OVER BUCK THAN CHIMNEY OR HEN, WHO HAVE ALREADY BOTH BEEN TARGETED AND HARASSED AND BULLIED BY GERRARD? WHY ARE YOU MORE DEFENSIVE OVER TOMMY THAN CHIM OR HEN? It fucking disgusts me. The way that Tommy literally was introduced in S2 as a PLOT DEVICE to show how 'bystanders' (he was barely a bystander, more an active participant) in workplace racism and bullying are still so fucking dangerous and disgusting and wrong. And he was so fucking disgusting to both Hen and Chim, bear in mind they have a fucking dangerous job, if CHIM had been in that building Tommy would have absolutely left him to die. WORKPLACE RACISM IN LIFE OR DEATH JOBS LEADS TO PEOPLE BEING FUCKING LEFT TO DIE. And people are more defensive over Tommy being potentially harassed by Gerrard and than they ever were over Hen or Chim. As a white person I am so fucking sorry, this fandom has not lately been a safe space for pocs and the fucking lengths people go to to justify both the character and the actor are so fucking strange. White queer people should do fucking better than this. It is the bare fucking minimum to not be racist or not have been publicly racist in the past. Why not ask for a better fucking standard? ALSO with the actor, if you're trying to fucking argue that he's not like that any more, SHOW ME that he is a fucking anti racist and that he is fucking defending minority groups and that he understands the weight of his actions. SHOW ME how he understands his privilege and uses his platform and the money he is given to donate to and fund the protection of these groups. It is fucking sickening that people have decided they can defend or ignore or tolerate this man and it DISGUSTS ME that they have happily created an environment where people can't feel fucking safe or supported or heard.

The focus on that character is so fucking weird given the lack of screen time he has had, I'm really gonna stop talking about him at all soon because it gives him way too much weight. But it's disgusting. The way some people have to find a way to write Eddie and Chris out of Buck's life and rewrite over canon to bring more focus onto this man astounds me.

As a (lesbian? Idk not currently sure but kinda) queer person, Henren are such beautiful representation and I love them so much and ALSO the foundation of the whole show is basically found family. If you want to only focus on Buck then that's fine I guess, but it is literally written into canon that the family around him mean FUCKING EVERYTHING TO HIM so it's weird that people barely fucking look at it at all.

Anyway sorry I greatly appreciated your message and idk if all of this is related or relevant and it is not well structured but I was just feeling ranty and was inspired by you! I love you and I hope you have a brilliant day!